#but i do support their ad policy of 'whatever the fuck'
rayj4ck · a month ago
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cityskout · 17 days ago
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female-malice · 3 months ago
Oh. What The Fuck.
Okay are you guys ready for this? Let's do it...
Erica Sullivan Shares Thoughts on Lia Thomas: “I Just Feel Bad For Her”
At the women’s NCAA Championships next week in Atlanta, transgender woman Lia Thomas will be the top seed and favorite in the 200 and 500-yard freestyle races. Few of her national competitors have weighed in on the controversy surrounding Thomas so far. The only significant statement came from Stanford fifth-year swimmer Brooke Forde, who said that she would not have a problem racing Thomas in the 500 free at NCAAs.
Now, another key swimmer who will race against Thomas in the 500 free at NCAAs, Texas freshman Erica Sullivan, has shared an opinion. Sullivan was a U.S. Olympian in 2021, and she captured the silver medal at the Tokyo Olympics in the 1500-meter free. With her performances, Sullivan became the first openly-lesbian swimmer to qualify for a U.S. Olympic team and then to win an Olympic medal.
Okay swim lesbian. Are you a sigma-female or are you struggling with your Ledecky complex?
Asked for her own opinion on whether Thomas should be allowed to race, Sullivan downplayed the competitive ramifications while lamenting the effects of the criticism Thomas has taken on her well-being.
“I think people are asking for this big, well thought-out explanation, especially for me as a gay swimmer, but my explanation is pretty simple. I don’t care. It comes down to the fact that when I race, I don’t race for the status or for the gold or for whatever. That’s just not why I do it. I love winning, don’t get me wrong. Getting a silver medal was so cool, and that’s always exciting, but I swim for the people around me,” Sullivan said.
You're an Olympic medallist in an individual racing sport. INDIVIDUAL sport. You do not swim for the people around you. And you never have. You don't get to an Olympic podium by swimming for other peoples' sake. You put yourself and your competitive athletic goals first over and over and over. That's how you got to that podium. You should be extremely proud.
I know that, as a lesbian, you're trying to downplay your gender non-conforming personality traits. But no one is asking you to do that. You swim for yourself and you know it. So own it.
“I feel bad for Lia because imagine being on a team where you know some people don’t want you there. That’s just a terrible environment to be in. I feel like I’m in an environment at Texas where I’m accepted by everyone here. If they’re not, they haven’t verbalized it to me. They’ve kept it to themselves, very supportive of my relationship, love it when I make my jokes. They’re very supportive of who I am as a person, and I just feel bad that Lia doesn’t have that.”
You're a lesbian woman succeeding at University of Texas's prolific swim program in liberal Austin Texas. You're also a superstar.
You were the only Texas swimmer on a podium in Tokyo. Before Tokyo, Texas swimmers walked away from every Olympics adding an armful of medals to their schools' prestige. The last Olympics to feature only one Texas medallist was the 1980 Olympics boycotted by the US swim team. There were no Tokyo boycotts. Texas's Olympic swimming prowess is just fading.
You're the last great hope of a legendary swim program. Of course they love you. Your teammates are starstruck by you. Do you see how your locker room impact is completely different from Lia's locker room impact in every possible way?
Sullivan was in favor of new USA Swimming rules creating policies and procedures for transgender females to be eligible for elite-level competition, but she expressed concerns about the NCAA changing eligibility requirements for trans swimmers such as Thomas in the middle of the season. She admitted that she would be upset if Thomas beat her but no more upset than if she lost to any other competitor in the field at NCAAs.
“I’m going to swim my 500 free to the best of my ability and try to beat her, not because she’s trans but because I’m competitive and I don’t like losing,” Sullivan said.
Erica... Lia Thomas is not Katie Ledecky. Please see a sports psychologist. You need to find a healthier way to process your rivalry with Katie Ledecky.
“If I lose, I’m going to be pissed, not because Lia’s trans but because I’m a competitive person, and I’m going to go back home and train as hard as I can.
You want to race against men. You want to face impossible competition. That's what motivates you. Why else would you train for the event Katie Ledecky has owned for a decade?
In the Olympics, there were 4 seconds between you and the GOAT. 4 seconds between you and that gold medal. But you went into the pool prepared for silver. You trained for a time that would edge out Sarah Kohler, not a time that would challenge Ledecky.
You were bold enough to choose Ledecky's event. So compete with her! She's human. She's female. She's not a man. She's beatable. What's the point of Ledecky pushing the frontier of women's swimming if you shy away from challenging her?
You can't write Ledecky off as an anomaly in the pool, and you know it! If you could write her off as unbeatable, you'd be satisfied with silver. And you're clearly unsatisfied. You're mildly traumatized by the process of settling for silver. Now you're projecting that "settling" mentality across all of women's sports to make yourself feel better.
I’m going to be the same amount of angry if Emma beats me, Emma Nordin or Emma Weyant. Or Brooke Forde.”
You know who your real competitors are. You just want Lia in the pool to help you cope with your Ledecky complex.
You want to win another silver, look at the gold medalist, and say "oh well. Nothing I could've done. We're built different. At least I beat the competitors built like me." With Lia, that is true. There's nothing you can do about Lia's competitive advantages. But with Ledecky, that isn't true at all. You can beat her.
You're struggling to accept that silver medal behind Ledecky. So maybe a silver behind Lia will help you settle down. Maybe it will help you be less frustrated and intense and competitive. Maybe it will help you give up on chasing after the greatest swimmer in the world. And maybe you'll finally accept modest athletic goals and a more gender-conforming outlook on life.
But that's bullshit. You'll never be satisfied. You'll never be able to convince yourself Ledecky is unbeatable. Stop trying to smother the sigma-female inside of you and woman up.
Ledecky's reading what you're saying and she's worried you've lost the plot. She needs you, Erica. She needs you to push her. She hasn't broken her 1500m record in 4 years. In the Olympics, she swam 15 seconds behind her 2018 record. She's slowing down. So, are you speeding up or settling?
Sullivan expressed empathy for Thomas as she has received considerable criticism despite not breaking any rules. “She’s getting hate from all sides. All I can think for her right now is that sucks for her because that has got to mess you up at night. That’s got to hurt as a human being,” Sullivan said. “I just feel bad for her. She doesn’t deserve what she’s getting.”
I feel bad for Kamila Valieva. She's a 15 year old trapped in an abusive training environment. She did not choose to start doping. She had no control over what was and wasn't in her system. Her image is ruined. Her career is over. The gold medal she was promised was taken from her. She's lost her chance at the life-long salary awarded to every Russian gold medalist. Her life seems impossible now.
But just because I feel bad for her doesn't mean I'm okay with her competing.
Valieva's coaches jeopardized the level playing field of skating. Valieva had no choice in the matter. Lia Thomas is actively choosing to disrupt the level playing field of swimming.
I wonder if you'll still feel bad for Lia when you meet him at the national championship. When he's no longer a political hypothetical concept. When you realize he's truly male and no stand-in for Ledecky. How will you feel when you watch him swim in other heats and events right there in the pool in front of you? How will you feel when you're watching this live with no twitter commentary to guide your thinking?
How will you feel when it's your turn and you're standing side-by-side before the 500 free? What will he say to you?
"Not my best times so far today, but at least I'm winning everything. Can't wait to compete against a fellow lesbian!"
Will you settle? Will you do the gender-conforming thing and be nice?
Or will you find your rage?
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darthkruge · a year ago
Okay okay okay so imagine Reader is abducted by the separatists because she ( or nb reader ) is a very well loved member of the senate. So obviously Anakin goes to save her, but his idiot plan gets him captured as well so then it's up to Reader to talk her way out of this mess, get to her idiot boyfriend, free him and then both of them try to make it out alive. Bonus points for Obi-Wan looking very tired and sick of Anakin's ideas in the background. What do you think?
Anakin Skywalker x Fem!Reader ~ Rescue Operations?
Summary: After the Reader is captured by the Separatists, Anakin rushes to save her. When this doesn’t work out, the Reader has to get her and her boyfriend out of this mess. 
Warnings: Language, whump, one scene where the Reader gets beat up, Reader is a badass, Anakin is completely in love with his badass girlfriend and we love that for him
Words: 3.8k
A/N: Catherine, my love!! I’m sorry this took me so long, I have nothing to say for myself other than my poor organization skills. But I’m obsessed with this request, I hope I did it justice <3
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You groaned as you opened your eyes and attempted to shake the drowsiness that seemed to cling to your very bones. You blinked, trying to get your bearings and remember what had happened. You were preparing for your speech at the Senate, trying to pass a peace treaty between the Republic and some smaller territories that were debating joining the fight against the Separatists. You’d been fighting for support for the treaty for months and you finally had the chance to give one last speech before the vote. 
You’d been pacing in your Coruscant apartment, practicing the speech for your boyfriend a million times. After you finished your recitation, you exited the room, needing to get your notes that you’d seemed to misplace. So you went into your office and… nothing.
Why couldn’t you remember after that?! You opened the door to your office, walked inside, and… 
You sighed as you came back to the present, leaning against the wall behind you and looking around. You were clearly in a cell of some sort and the Separatists were almost certainly behind this. You were still in your Senate attire, although it had been thoroughly scuffed up, and they’d taken your datapad and other communication devices. You felt around your boot and smiled. Your knife was still there. They must have assumed you wouldn’t be carrying a weapon to your speech and not done a thorough enough check. Whatever the reason, you were thanking the Maker it was still there. 
Back in Coruscant, Anakin was walking the Temple halls in a crazed state. When you didn’t show up for your speech, he immediately panicked. He knew how important this treaty was for you and the entire Republic; you’d been going over it for forever and there is no way you’d just blow it off without telling anyone. The rest of the Senate was also concerned. You’d grown up in one of the poorer districts and, thus, had a sense of relatability and humility that most were drawn to. Whether or not they agreed with your policies, almost everyone could understand that you always kept the interest of the people at the forefront of your mind. 
When Obi-Wan walked up to him with a ripped piece of your clothes and your scattered and crumpled notes, Anakin felt his heart drop. 
“It was the Separatists. They must have knocked her out in her office and escaped through the vents.”
Upon seeing his absolutely heartbroken expression, Obi-Wan added, “We’ll get her back, Anakin. I promise.”
Anakin could only nod, ideas for a plan to save you already running round his head. 
You’d been in this kriffing cell for four days now. Or maybe it was five? You were desperately trying to keep your wits about you but it was so hard; they brought you a tiny ration of food and water once a day and it was not near enough to keep your strength up. You’d spent your time trying to carve your way through the bars but your knife was no match and you quickly gave up, not wanting to dull the blade. You’d found a loose brick hidden around the floor and used the knife to cut it out, allowing you to hide your weapon under it on the off chance they searched you again. 
You tried to think of a plan to escape but they hadn’t even opened your door yet. There was no way you could get out by yourself and, until someone came in that you could attack, it was pointless to even try. They kept you in complete darkness and silence, no way to tell how much time had passed aside from the daily rations. You assumed you were on a Separatist base but that proved unhelpful; they were widespread and the cell held no defining features of climate or location. You had tried calling out to see if anyone else was around. Each time, you were met with your own echo. 
You stilled, hearing footsteps approach you. A Separatist guard opened your cell door, roughly pulling you out. You yelped, legs not cooperating after so long of sitting in the cramped cell. He led you into another room that was barely brighter than your own. Sizing up the guard, you felt fear creep in. No matter how hard you tried to banish your anxieties, knowing they’d only serve to lessen your already shaken focus, it was sometimes impossible. 
“Tell us which planets are deserting.” He commanded.
You met his stare evenly, refusing to let your fear betray you. There was absolutely no chance you’d tell him anything. As soon as the Separatists learned which planets were thinking about joining the Republic, they’d send armies to wipe them out immediately. You refused to let that happen.
“Fine. Be that way.” The man pulled his fist back and sent it into your cheek, the impact sending sparks of pain throughout your entire body. He brought his foot up, kicking you in the gut and you fell harshly onto the floor. He grabbed you by your hair, hoisting up your body as if it were a ragdoll. You gathered your strength and spit in his face, enjoying the way his smug look disappeared. In retaliation, he slammed you into the wall, the impact making stars cloud your vision. 
The man released you and you fell, your consciousness already starting to detach from your body. You tried to reason with yourself, hoping logic would aid you. This is a trauma response. I’m not going to die. My body can take this. I will black out, but I will wake up again. They’re not going to kill me. They need me alive. I’m not going to die. I’m not going to die. Somehow, the hardest part is this was banishing the thoughts of that beautiful boy from your head. You knew that if you allowed yourself to think of him, to fathom how he would blame himself should this be your end, you would give in. 
Instead, you focussed on the physical pain you felt, on the rage you channeled to this guard. You hated how weak you felt, how exhausted you were. You allowed your mind to hone in on all the ways you could hurt this man, given you had your full strength. You let yourself hate yourself, appalled at how you couldn’t even fight back. With every punch he threw at you, you went further into your head, into the one place this man couldn’t touch. Eventually, your mind started spinning from dehydration, pain, and overexertion. All you could do was curl into a fetal position and hope it somehow stopped. 
“What do you mean you’re going to find her?” Obi-Wan said, running after Anakin.
“It’s been days, Obi-Wan, days. There are only so many Separatist bases in the galaxy and Y/N’s on one of them.”
“Anakin, don’t you think they’ve planned for a rescue mission?! This is Senator L/N we’re talking about! And they took her right before the vote, this was clearly a thought-out attack, stop acting like it’s simple!”
“It is simple! Those Separatist assholes have Y/N. And it’s been days. What if she thinks we forgot about her? What if she thinks we’ve given up? They could be doing fucking anything to her and I’m not going to let her stay there for another minute!”
“Anakin-” Obi-Wan began but Anakin waved him off.
“I’m sorry, Master. But if the Council won’t do anything, I will.”
“Anakin, the Council is trying! They just don’t have enough troops right now to send a full rescue mission after one Senator. They just want a few more days, then some troops should be back from their missions and you can have your full battalion.” Obi-Wan took a breath and lowered his voice, empathy for his friend clear in his words. “I know you love her. I want her back, too, you know. I’ve grown quite fond of her; her friendship is quite dear to me. All I’m asking is you be careful and think this through.”
“Believe me, I have thought this through. I wouldn’t do anything to put her in danger, we both know that. And while a few days doesn’t seem like much to the Council, we’ve seen the harm these Separatists can inflict in far less. Listen, it might not be the strongest plan I’ve ever made but, if it’s between a semi-formed plan and none at all, the choice is already made.”
With that, Anakin jumped into his ship and took off into the night. Obi-Wan sighed, leaning his head into his palm. He knew how much you meant to him and he knew of Anakin’s frustration with the Council. They moved slowly, wanting to figure out every angle before jumping into a decision. While Anakin was a brilliant strategist, he tended to act impulsively when someone he loved was in danger. As Anakin traveled further and further from Coruscant, the older Jedi could only hope that the both of you returned home quickly and safely. 
Anakin looked at his ship’s display and cursed when he realized he was low on fuel. He’d been piloting for hours and there was still no sign of you. He was searching out for you with the Force and, still, nothing. Finally, he felt a faint energy pulse through the Force. He followed it to what was supposed to be an old abandoned Separatist base, concerned by how weak your lifeforce felt. 
He parked the ship and got out carefully, trying not to alert anyone to his presence. He pulled out his lightsaber but was careful not to ignite it. He saw an open door and ran through it, relief blinding him as he felt your energy grow stronger with each step he took. He turned the corner and saw a crumpled body on the floor of a tiny cell.
No, Anakin thought, it can’t be her. 
Without thinking, Anakin ignited his lightsaber, wanting to use the light to discern if the figure was truly you. The noise bounced off the walls and startled you awake. He mentally cursed himself and instinctively turned off the saber, not missing the even louder noise it made with it turned off. He inwardly facepalmed, realizing if he hadn’t alerted the guards before, they sure as hell knew now. 
You blinked groggily, wincing at your immense injuries and bruises. You remembered passing out while that asshole beat you and now you-
Wait, You thought, is that a fucking lightsaber?
You knew you must have heard it wrong, there’s no way the Council would have approved a relief mission this quickly. Further, there is no way it would consist of just one Jedi. 
Suddenly, the lightsaber re-lit, illuminating your boyfriend’s face. His determined expression grew stronger as he noticed the 10 guards surrounding him and pointing their blasters directly at his head. You smiled. He could take out ten guards with his eyes closed. You called to him in shock, hardly believing your eyes. He looked at you and immediately widened his eyes as he saw a guard come up behind you and point a blaster directly at you from outside your cell. 
“Lightsaber on the floor, Jedi, or the girl dies.” The guard growled. 
He looked at you in anguish and you could tell he was already beating himself up for “messing up” your escape plan. You shook your head, hoping he understood your message: this isn’t your fault. 
“Anakin don’t-” You couldn’t even finish the sentence before his weapon was on the floor. He put his hands on his head. As they grabbed him, you stood in helpless silence as they threw him in the cell beside you. They locked the doors and, once again, you were in darkness. 
You desperately crawled to the edge of your cell, trying to reach out to him. He was doing the same and when you felt his fingertips against yours, you almost started sobbing. You weren’t alone anymore.
“You came for me.” Your voice was soft, disbelief lacing your words. 
“Of course I did, my love.”
Then, as if everything finally registered in your brain, you reached out and tried to slap his arm. “Anakin, what about the Council? They’ll kill you when they realize you went on a rescue mission, alone, and without approval! Ani, the only thing keeping me going in here was knowing that you were safe! And now you’ve gotten yourself thrown right next to me, no weapons, no light, no food, no water, no escape! What the fuck are we going to do?!”
Anakin had opened and closed his mouth multiple times throughout your speech, trying to find a way to plead his case but was left without one. 
“I just wanted to save you.” The grief in his voice made you sigh and take a step back. This was your Anakin you were talking about. Your safety was his priority, always. Besides, doing all this because he was afraid for you? You couldn’t possibly stay mad. You smiled, despite yourself. Anakin. You thought, slightly shaking your head. 
“Fuck, I love you. Is it selfish that there’s a small part of me that’s glad you’re here with me?” You said, breaking the silence. 
Anakin breathed out a sigh of relief, glad you weren’t upset with him anymore. “Not at all, my love. So long as it isn’t bad that my least favorite part of this is not being able to see or kiss you properly because of this damn darkness.”
You chuckled, lacing your fingers with his once again. “You wouldn’t want to see me right now.”
Anakin froze. “Y/N? What are you talking about?” His voice was serious, clipped. He knew you would try and make it seem less than it was. You winced, realizing there was no way to lie your way out of this one.
“Just what the Separatists would call aggressive negotiations, I presume.”
“How bad?”
“It’s fine, Ani, I promise. Let’s just focus on getting out of here, okay?”
Anakin took a deep breath, collecting himself. “Alright. But as soon as we get back you’re going to a medical droid.”
You groaned. “Anakin I hate-”
“I know you hate the medical droids. But that’s only because they always rat you out when you try and lie to me about the extensiveness of your injuries.”
“You lie about how bad your injuries are, too! Remember that one time you came back from Kamino?!”
Anakin laughed, despite himself. “You’re never going to let me live that down, are you?”
“You were literally bleeding from the head! And you said, and I quote, ‘it’s just a scratch’” Every time you thought back to that day, you were incredulous. 
“Alright, alright! Let’s just focus on getting out of here.”
“That’s my line!”
“Y/N,” He warned.
You smiled. Maker, you missed him. You honestly didn’t think that anyone else would have you laughing while you were beaten and captured. 
“Okay. What’s the plan?” Anakin said, back to the matter at hand.
You lowered your voice, leaning toward his cell so you could talk without being heard. “I snuck a knife in with me and I’ve been able to keep it a secret. Now that you’re here, it might actually come in handy. The problem was that I couldn’t stab anyone because no one would come into the cell. I need you to get them here. Push them against the side of your cell, the one closest to me, and I’ll stab them. Then while they’re hurt, you run out, unlatch my cell, and we’ll go.”
“I’m dating a fucking genius!” You could just about hear the smile in his voice. 
You smirked. All things considered, you were pretty proud of yourself. 
“When do you want to do this?”
“They bring daily food and water rations in the morning, I think? I can’t exactly tell what time it is, they’ve kept it so dark and isolated. Regardless, the next time they come by I need you to get them in here. They normally just leave the food outside and push it under the door.”
Anakin could hear the disorientation in your words and wanted nothing more than to be able to see you, to be able to hold you and reassure you that it would all be alright. 
“Okay, angel. Got it.”
“Thank you for coming to get me. It’s really good to hear your voice.”
“Always, my love.”
Both of you silenced when you heard those footsteps. You smiled for the first time as you heard them. We’re going to get out of here.
“Yeah, that’s a great idea, Y/N! This brick in here is loose!” Anakin announced loudly. You bit your cheek to suppress a smile as you watched Anakin catch the guard’s attention.
“What did you say, Jedi?!”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Anakin responded, dramatically feigning innocence. 
The guard huffed and you internally cheered as he roughly opened the door. He walked over to your boyfriend, keeping the blaster pointed at him. As soon as the guard’s attention shifted to the “loose” brick, Anakin used the force to knock the blaster out of his hand and push him against the wall of the cell where you slashed his Achilles tendons. 
The guard howled in pain and you knew you had to work quickly if you were to get out of here before the rest of the Separatists found you. Anakin fumbled with the latch on your cell, the immense darkness making it difficult. Finally, he got it open and ushered you out. The both of you took off in a run and he gripped your hand with his metal one as you did so. 
You immediately stopped as you felt his hand roughly pulled from yours. 
“We’ve got you now, Skywalker” The guard said.
“Y/N, you ready?”
You blinked, unsure what he was referring to. Then, you heard an object whipping through the air and on instinct shot your hand out, catching it. You ignited Anakin’s lightsaber that he had summoned to you with the Force, it’s signature buzz making you feel powerful beyond words. 
The light caught you off guard and you squinted until your eyes adjusted. You saw Anakin held back by two guards. Hearing faint footsteps, you took off in a run. Anakin ducked as you swung wildly, hitting and taking out both guards.
“You done holding us up?” You said, extending your hand toward him once more and passing him his lightsaber. 
Anakin smiled, accepting it. “My sincerest apologies.” 
You both ran, hand-in-hand, until you finally made it to the exit.
“What?” You said, as Anakin stopped abruptly and looked at you, panicked. 
“The ship! It’s out of fuel!”
“It’s what?!”
“I-” Anakin and you stared at each other, flickers of doubt coming into your gaze. You can’t believe that you’d been able to escape for nothing. 
“Anakin! Y/N!”
You whipped your head around at the sound and were met with another ship a few meters down, Obi-Wan piloting it.
“Well? Are you coming, or what?” You and Anakin looked at each other in shock before taking off in a sprint, one guard now close behind you. 
He started shooting and Anakin pulled out his lightsaber, deflecting some of the shots. As he focused on that, you pulled your knife back out of your boot and sent it flying into the guard’s chest, effectively stopping his pursuit. 
Anakin smirked at you, awestruck. You shrugged before jumping into the ship, extending your arm to Anakin and helping to pull him up with you. You entered and immediately leaned against the wall of the ship, relief coursing through you. You laughed and Anakin joined in. He immediately pulled you into him, kissing you hard. 
He broke away from the kiss, looking at you with adoration. “You are a fucking badass!! You’ve never even held a lightsaber and between that and your fucking tiny knife you took out four guards!! I didn’t even get any! I’m not going to lie, Y/N, I’m a bit jealous.”
You laughed, leaning into him but wincing. As the adrenaline wore off, your pain was suddenly quite palpable. He noticed and pulled back, scanning your face and body. 
His smile fell as the extent of your injuries sunk in. Your busted cheek, scratched face, and ripped clothing that exposed some of your many bruises across your torso and limbs were overwhelming. 
“You kids alright in there?” Obi-Wan said, walking in from the cockpit. His smile died on his face as well as he took in your form.
“I’m alright, guys. It’s not as bad as it looks.” You said dismissively.
“That doesn’t look like nothing!” Anakin shot back. 
Obi-Wan looked at you apologetically. “Anakin’s right, Y/N. Please, rest. We’ll be back to Coruscant soon.” 
Coruscant! The Senate! “My speech!! Fuck, I had to present my speech! I’ve been gone, what, a week? They’ve probably already voted, Kriff.”
Obi-Wan shook his head. “They decided to suspend the vote until you were back, Senator. They truly care for you and your policies.”
Your heart swelled at Obi-Wan’s words. You looked into Anakin’s eyes and saw that he agreed with the statement full heartedly. He took your hand and gently ran his thumb up and down its back. 
“Rest, my love.” He whispered to you, coaxing you to lie down on the coach and pulling off his Jedi cloak. He wrapped it around you as a makeshift blanket, smiling as you pulled it closer to you and drifted off. 
Obi-Wan walked up to Anakin and placed his hand on his shoulder. “Let’s leave her be, okay?”
“I don’t want her to wake up when I’m not here.”
The elder Jedi nodded in understanding. “She’s exhausted, she won’t awaken until we get back to the temple, I assure you. And if she does, you’ll just be in the other room.”
Anakin looked at you once more before smoothing the hair back from your face and gently placing a kiss on your forehead. He let his palm run down your cheek before he finally pulled himself away and walked into the cockpit with Obi-Wan. 
“So, how did you plan pan out?”
Anakin looked at his former Master, unamused. “I think you already know. How’d you know to come get us, anyway?”
“Well, when you didn’t come back or even attempt to contact the Council for over a day I assumed something had happened. I tracked your ship.”
Anakin nodded. “If not for Y/N, we’d probably both be dead.”
Obi-Wan laughed. “I heard! Four guards?! You’ve found yourself a good one.”
Anakin smiled. No words were needed, everyone knew that was completely and utterly true.
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starrynite7114 · a year ago
roommates: two
A/N: Happy Friday lovely peeps! Hope you all had an awesome week so far. I would like to thank you all for such lovely messages. Anonymous hate is the worst, but I’m really thankful to have you all for support. I’ve been sucky with responses lately, but after my Physics exam later, I’ll be responding to all your lovely comments. 
I do not deserve you all, but I am extremely thankful!
Have a Happy Halloween! Be safe! <3
Groupchat for updates! Please join since the tags could be a bit iffy at times!
If you would like to be added to the tag list, please let me know!
Word count: 6949
Warnings: Smut, fluff, cussing, mild angst
“You what now?” Medina wiped his mouth, the coffee that he spat out dripping down his chin.
You were giving Medina the play by play of your night with Angel. The Stockton Mayan laughed.
“I walked away.” You shrugged taking a sip of your iced coffee drink. “It’s Angel, he’s on the rebound.”
“Preciosa, that doesn’t look like a rebound to me.” Medina chuckled, shaking his head at your stubbornness. You were a strong, independent woman. You didn’t let anyone give your shit, even Angel. You challenged him. You didn’t fall to his feet, didn’t give him everything he wanted, he had to work for it.
Your past together made it complicated, yet, Medina thought it should be simple. The attraction was still there, so what was stopping you two from being together?
Then he remembered it was you.
You had a rule to never get back with your exes. If the relationship ended, it was done and ended for a reason. You didn’t want to go back down memory lane or any bullshit like that. 
But Angel was your exception.
You tried to not even remain in contact with your exes, but here you were living with Angel. You always reasoned that it was a matter of convenience.
But if you were being honest, you always had a pull towards Angel. You knew you would end up near Angel once again when you step foot into Santo Padre and that’s exactly what happened.
You also knew Angel was in love with Adelita. He spoke to you about her often, trying to pick your brain to make the Rebel Leader his, but with her need of him dissipating, she distanced herself from him. You could tell it broke Angel, but when you told him about your break-up with Adam? It was like a switch was flipped. 
Angel didn’t bother himself with Adelita and focused on you. Adam was a cool guy, but Angel always had a little irritation towards him since he had you. 
“Believe me, he’s on the rebound.”
“Rebound for what? You rejecting him?” Medina laughed and you just chuckled, shaking your head.
“Listen Will, Angel is predictable. He likes the chase and I don’t give him the time of day. Besides, I’ve been down that road, no plans of going back.”
“Why are you so adamant about not going down memory lane with your exes? Some of them are worth it.” The waitress placed your orders in front of you, checking one more time if you needed anything before she left you two alone. “Okay, maybe Adam and Angel, the A’s.”
You rolled your eyes as Medina chuckled. “It’s just my policy.”
“I know when it changed.” Medina frowned. “He’s gone, Preciosa, I took care of him for you.”
You gave him a small smile. “And I will always be indebted to you for doing so.”
“Angel isn’t like him.” Medina reasoned.
“Did I say that?”
“But you fear that.”
You sighed, subconsciously touching your back where he left his mark. It was to dissuade you to wear revealing clothing. All of your clothes covered your back. You wanted to get a tattoo to cover it all, but you were far too ashamed to do so. To this day, you couldn’t believe you let it happen.
“You didn’t do anything wrong, he was psychotic, obsessive. He was wrong in the fucking head.” Medina knew that you felt that this was all on you, that maybe if you were different things would have turned out differently. He saw you as a strong woman, wouldn’t take shit from anyone, but everyone had their moments.
He was your moment.
You always kept your back covered, not wanting anyone to see the marks he left on you. But the inner marks he lashed out were way worse. You couldn’t trust men, or at least not wanting to go back. 
Carmelo was a nice guy, with an amazing sense of humor and you truly thought you found a great guy. The first time you two broke up, it was mutual, but a few months later you two found one another again. You thought he was it for you and even moved in together. 
Then the possessiveness came. 
Then the abuse.
Then Medina came. 
The night you two met, you were at the bar drowning your sorrows away. 
You found a friend in Medina and you were always thankful for it. The last time Carmelo ever laid hands on you, you ran to Medina and his wife. They helped heal your wounds, well his wife did and Medina along with another member took care of Carmelo.
You never asked for details.
All you knew was that you never had to deal with him again.
But his memories haunted you.
And it was the one thing you couldn’t tell anyone. It was such a weak moment for you, you didn’t want to even acknowledge it occurred.
It was partially the reason you wanted a roommate. Being alone made you anxious. You were thankful Angel wanted a roommate and now, you were faced with a decision to go back down memory lane with another ex-boyfriend.
You didn’t think Angel would be like Carmelo.
But a fear was a fear. 
Trauma was trauma.
It was a bitch to forget.
“Give Angel a chance, even though you think he has a community dick.” Medina had to chuckle at that. Your quick wit always made him laugh, and it slightly made him not want to go against you. “You two ended differently. From what Angel told me, you two wouldn’t have ended if he had it his way.”
“You and Angel talk about feelings?” Bikers, especially outlaw bikers, have such a reputation, it made you feel bad. Stereotypes sucked and they weren’t angels, but there was no black and white, everyone was in a grey area. Your surroundings shaped you. Just because you were a hardened person, that didn’t mean you had no good in you.
They did, they all did.
You were sure they buried more bodies than you would like to know, but that was their business.
“Yeah, shocking.” Medina flipped you off. “Your future man loves talking about you when he goes to Stockton.”
“He does not.” You threw a piece of egg at him, which he caught and ate.
“You’ll be surprised. Promise me you’ll think about it.” Medina wanted you to be happy. He would never tell a soul, but he was a hopeless romantic. You and Angel’s paths crossing again was fate.
“Fine, I promise.”
You groaned when you heard the banging of the pans in the kitchen. Angel was being fucking extra yet again and you were annoyed.
It’s been a week since you left him hanging after the blowjob you gave him. And to say he was annoyed was an understatement. He wouldn’t even speak to you unless it had something to do with your shared apartment.
Groceries? He’ll speak to you.
Bills? He’ll speak to you.
Laundry? He’ll speak to you.
Other than that? He refused to speak to you. 
Clubhouse party? Coco invited you or any of the other guys.
Angel would not give you the time of day and as much as you liked it to keep your desires at bay, it made you sad. Angel was your friend, he was more than your roommate and you missed hanging out with him. Though, you also left him hanging and sexually frustrated, so you couldn’t blame him.
It was better this way. 
But you hoped you two could remain friends.
You liked your set up. This was the reason you didn’t want to mess with him.
Slipping out of your bed, you walked over to your door and opened it, making your way to the kitchen.
“Okay, I get it, you’re pissy about what happened, but it’s a Saturday morning, I just got in from work, don’t be such a prick.” You snapped, but your mouth dropped when you found a woman in your kitchen. 
“Hi, sorry, are you Angel’s sister?” She questioned, turning to you, surprised by your presence.
Usually, you would play nice, but since this woman decided to disturb your sleep, then she would face your wrath.
“I’m Angel’s girlfriend.” You narrowed your eyes at her. “I’ll give you a two minutes to get the fuck out of my house before I beat your ass.”
She scrambled into Angel’s room, grabbing her things and running along. You smirked, but it was immediately wiped off when you found Angel leaning against the doorframe of his room, a smirk on his face.
“Never pegged you for the jealous type.”
“Don't flatter yourself Ignacio, Malibu Barbie was slamming the pots in the kitchen, she most likely couldn’t differentiate between a pan and a pot. Wouldn't want her cooking here, she might burn the kitchen down.” You tried to pass him to go inside your room, but he blocked your way.
“Or you can stop playing and you can let me show you a good time.” He leaned down to kiss your cheek, making his way down to your neck.
Your hand drifted and slipped inside his underwear. He groaned against your neck, his breathing slightly increasing.
“I told you Ignacio, I don’t mess with the community dick especially when you just fucked someone.” You pushed him out of the way, slamming the door behind you and locking it. You heard him scream your name and you smirked. 
You 2, Angel 0.
Angel was frustrated to say the least. After your encounter three weeks ago, you still weren’t giving him the time of day. He would lounged around waiting for you to come home, slightly worrying him since you usually came home at six on the dot, but as of late, you were coming home at ten, then eleven and once at midnight. His plan to get you to give in was not working and it was frustrating him.
He swore he had you when he brought those girls home, you were bound to react and he thought he had you when he brought home, whatever that girl’s name was, but nope, you got him again.
And he was keeping score. 
He watched as the clock turned midnight, his television was in a low volume so he could hear you come in. 
It was close to two in the morning when he finally heard movement outside and your giggles. He heard you say another man’s name and Angel was immediately on his feet. He cracked his door open and watched as this man took off your shirt in the middle of the hallway. He softly slammed you against your door, you moaned at the roughness he provided. He suckled on your neck, your arms wrapping around him. Opening your eyes, you made eye contact with Angel as he watched as another man slipped his hand under your skirt, playing with your clit through your underwear before moving it to the side and sliding two fingers into you.
You bit back a moan, Angel’s name was about to escape your lips and you couldn’t have that. You could tell Angel was both mesmerized and angry at your display.
You turned your doorknob and led your bed buddy into your room for the night. Angel had his free show.
Maybe now that he saw you were interested in another guy, he could let things go back to normal.
Angel watched as your door closed, his dick was painfully hard, reminding him of your antics a month or so ago.
He was determined to make you his and to pay you back for your antics.
Payback was a bitch.
Angel waited for your male companion to make his walk of shame so he could assure he would never see him again. He’s seen the guy in passing in Santo Padre and he was your cookie cutter 9-5 banker, no personality, boring as a motherfucker. He’s seen him at a bar a few times, surrounded by ladies. But he realized that when you started coming home late, he didn’t see this fucker as often and now it made sense. 
But like Angel told Coco and Gilly, your six month grace period was done after your relationship with Adam. This was Angel’s chance and he wouldn’t pass it up. He was confident that once he got you, he’ll have you for the rest of your lives. Maybe he was coming on strong, but you were the one that got away.
Some divine intervention put you back in his path and he wouldn’t question it further. 
Your door opened and Angel smirked, resuming what he was doing before he made breakfast.
Cleaning his gun.
Your male companion, Edward, stopped when he saw Angel. He was buttoning up his shirt, most likely needing to go home to change for work. His eyes widened when he saw Angel sitting on the couch, cigarette in between his lips and gun laid out on the coffee table.
“Who the fuck are you?” Angel knew he got the fucker with the way he looked at him. Fear was the best way to describe the look he had.
“I, um, are you Y/N’s roommate?” The guy looked at the front door that was next to the couch most likely calculating if he could run before Angel could grab him.
Angel chuckled. “Nope.” Angel put his gun back together. 
“Who are you?”
You came out of your room and internally groaned when you saw Angel, shirtless, rings on his fingers, and cigarette in his mouth. Your mouth watered and you hated yourself for that. You did not smoke, but Angel looked fucking good whenever he did. He was always so rough, tall, built and just so goddamn good looking. 
“Her husband.” Angel placed his gun down, the one he’s been pretending to clean while awaiting your date’s departure.
“Husband?” He turned to you.
“Angel, shut the fuck up.” You turned to Edward. “He’s not my husband, he’s just my roommate.”
“Odd way of saying we’re working things out.” Angel put out his cigarette and leaned back, this obnoxious smirk that you loathed gracing his lips. “I’ll give you two seconds to get the fuck out of my house before I shoot you. One.”
Edward left quickly, almost tripping when he exited your apartment. Angel stood up, maintaining eye contact with you as he locked the door, double locking it. His eyes were predatory and he stalked towards you, that smirk on his lips.
“Buenos dias mi dulce,” he greeted you as you narrowed your eyes at him, giving him a disapproving look before you went to the kitchen. Angel just lightly chuckled and followed after you. He admired you from behind, a shirt of his you held hostage on your figure along with the most sinful boy shorts he has ever seen. Your ass was basically asking to be smacked.
For years, he watched as you became more comfortable to the point that you watched movies with him in just a short and underwear with no bra on. He had to fight his desire for years whenever he wanted to step over that line you drew. 
At this point, he knew you wanted him so he will willingly cross the line. He knew why you were pushing him away, some stupid rule you made up.
But rules were made to be broken.
And Angel was an outlaw, there were rarely any rules he abided by.
“Angel, fuck off.”
Angel laughed and you hated how deep his fucking voice was, how dare he be this fucking enticing. 
“Why? Cause I scared Banker Ken away?” You felt how close Angel was without even turning around as you made your morning coffee. You were off today and all you had planned was a Netflix binge and maybe some groceries. “Why do you keep playing games, you know you want me as much as I want you.” You picked up your coffee, trying your best to ignore Angel. “You can ignore me all you want, but you know I’m persistent.”
“That’s cute Ignacio, but I’m not interested.” You placed your coffee on the counter and turned to face him. You took a step back due to his close proximity, but you were already against the counter. You tried to move one way and Angel blocked your way, you sighed and moved the other way, he blocked you once again. “Can I help you Ignacio?”
“So when you gonna let me get a taste, I let you get a taste and I’m sure you want more.” Angel invaded your space, your sense, your mind, it was infuriating. You’ve lived with him at peace, but these past six months things shifted after your break up with Adam. He was more attentive. He was always available for you. He was considerate. He was a flirt. He was sexy. He was everything Adam was not.
Angel was dying to get a taste of you. But if he was honest, all he wanted was to kiss you again, to feel your lips against his once more. When you two were together in high school, Angel received flack for always kissing you and was even given detention for indecent behavior. But Angel didn’t give a fuck.
You didn’t want to look up at Angel, he would give you that piercing stare and you would be a goner. 
“Look at me.” 
Fuck no.
You were standing your ground.
Angel chuckled. “So I was right. You do want me, because if you didn’t, you could look me right in the eye and I won’t see the same look I’ve been giving you for years.”
It honestly surprised you how well attuned Angel was with his emotions. If he wanted you to know how he felt, you knew it, sometimes it was hidden by the undertones of sarcasm.  But if Angel wanted to remain stoic, he could, reading Angel was never a problem for you, the problem was you could read him and sometimes that worked for you and him and sometimes it didn’t.
It was easier to avoid feelings, you preferred that.
It would complicate any situation especially yours.
But it seemed if you didn’t address the elephant in the room, you two would never get past things. You were usually good with these types of things. But this was different.
It was Angel and he was your anomaly.
“Come on mi cielo,” your heart skipped a beat. Angel hasn’t called you that since high school. “One shot, you talk a lot of game but you can’t even play your own game.”
“Careful, we both know that I would win if we were playing a game, you’ll be begging me.”
“Why not you put my dick where your mouth is?”
“I don’t think that’s the saying.” You had to laugh at that.
“It isn’t, it’s called Angelnism.”
You rolled your eyes at that. But your eyes remained on Angel’s chest, his neck, the table behind him along with the cabinets.
“Come on baby, let me see those eyes.”
“Can you fuck off?” Your resolve was honestly weakening.
Angel tilted your chin up. Looking into those dark brown eyes of his, it always melted you. He had such a tough exterior, but when you looked into his eyes, they were so soft and warm.
“I always loved the fire you have, but if you let me show you what you’ve been missing out on, you would never want any other person.” He kissed your cheek, your skin immediately warming up. “Just me.” He kissed your other cheek, his scruff brushing against your skin and it just felt so good.
You tried to look away from Angel, but he wouldn’t let you. He cradled your face with one of his hands. His smell was intoxicating. You tried to push him away, but he took your hand, intertwining it with one of his.
Angel leaned down, pressing his lips against yours and all your resolve went out the window. You were only human. There was so much you could take. You moved his hand so he would wrap it around you, yours wrapping around him, pulling him closer to you. He smiled against your lips, and you wanted to be a smart ass, but you didn’t want to stop kissing him.
Angel lifted you up, your legs wrapping around his muscular build. You had to admit, Angel’s body has been going through some changes and you were a big fan. You didn’t mind his thinner build, but he’s bulked up and honestly, god bless him.
He placed you on the dining table, his body on yours as you two continued to kiss. He pulled away, smirking down at you as you tried to catch your breath. 
“You gonna let me have some breakfast baby?” Angel pulled you so you were at the edge of the table. You propped yourself up on your elbows, looking down at him as he nipped at the skin of your inner thigh. His face hovered over your clothed core, he looked up at you with a devilish smirk before licking you through your underwear. You arched your back, a low moan escaping your lips. “Can I take this off?” His fingers slid back and forth at the top of your underwear. He saw how you looked down at him, hesitation all over your face. “Don’t, stop overthinking this.”
You nodded your head. Angel slipped off your underwear, groaning when he saw your pussy, glistening and waiting to be eaten. 
“Angel, you better be good at this with the amount of shit you’ve been talking.” You teased him, his smirk appeared again. 
He chose not to reply and ran his tongue in between your folds, causing you to shift closer to his face, legs widening. Angel parted your folds, running a finger up and down your pussy, admiring the pink flesh. 
“I’ve been dreaming of how you looked, how you tasted since you came back and this is fucking better than anything I could have ever imagined.” He collected the wetness seeping from you and spread it all around. He kept your lips parted as he began to lap at your pussy, the sounds were obscene, but so fucking good.
It definitely helped that Angel was a talker.
“You taste good baby, how are you going to deny daddy his pussy?” Angel took your clit in his mouth, sucking it in. 
You moaned out his name, your fingers wrapping around his hair. “Fuck Angel, oh my god.” You knew this would feed his ego, but you didn’t care, Angel was fucking gifted. Edward ate you out yesterday and it was mediocre. But Angel, the way he was flicking his tongue on your clit, the way he teased you, you were done for.
Angel slapped your clit and you whimpered. “Wrong name baby.”
“Sorry daddy.” You hated to give up control, you were a strong independent woman, and you didn’t need no man. But, you could definitely live with Angel’s mouth, body, and dick. And you would give up control to Angel because you trusted him. And kinks were kinks even though he was the first guy you ever uttered the word daddy to.
“You may think I have the community dick, but I bet you’d love for me to sink my big dick inside this tight ass pussy.” He slipped a finger inside of you and he groaned your name. “You’re so fuckin tight baby, did micropenis not satisfy you?”
“Angel shut the fuck up.” You didn’t want to give Angel more of a reason to inflate his ego.
Angel moved away from you, his fingers stilling in you. “What the fuck did I say? Keep acting like a brat and you won’t like the consequences.” Angel rubbed your clit with his thumb. 
He felt your walls tightening as he continued to move his fingers in and out of you, his mouth sucking in your clit, flickering his tongue on it every once in a while. You felt that familiar feeling you wished you felt last night, but it never came. But Angel hasn’t even been eating you out for that long and you were already close to coming.
Angel moved away, quickening the pace of his fingers. Just as you were about to cum, Angel moved away, giving you one last lick.
Your eyes opened, sitting up, you gave him an incredulous look. You saw your juices glistening on his beard and he licked his lips, and licked his fingers clean of your juices. 
“Gotta get ready for work.”
“Are you fucking serious?” You called out.
“Payback is a bitch baby.” Angel blew you a kiss. It took an enormous amount of willpower for him to move away from you. 
“Fuck you Angel!” You threw your underwear at him which he caught, slipping it inside his pocket,
“Thanks for the souvenir baby.” Angel closed the distance between you two and gave you a breathtaking kiss. Pulling away, he held your face and you were so turned on, tasting yourself on his lips. “Daddy will finish you later, if you’re a good girl.” He moved away. “Guess micropenis didn’t satisfy you.”
“Don’t be so full of yourself, he was amazing.”
Angel chuckled. “Right, that’s why you were so quiet last night.”
Before you could reply, Angel walked over to his room to get ready for the day.
You 2, Angel 1. 
Angel closed the door behind him, leaned his back against it as he let out a sigh. It was a long day today. The relief run’s were benefiting, but it was hard whenever Bishop asked EZ to go with him. He didn’t want to alert Bishop that there was going on between them, but he knew it was hard to do that.
Everyone noticed that the brothers didn’t speak to one another. They all saw how Angel purposely avoided Ezekiel. But everyone chose to not get involved.
They were adults.
They could handle their shit.
Angel took off his boots, placing it by the door. Slipping his kutte off, he placed it on the armchair in your living room. He went to the kitchen to grab a beer before going to his room. He was tempted to see if you were up, but he figured you would be sleeping since it was three in the morning.
But you were up.
And you currently had your vibrator against your clit,two fingers deep inside you as you moaned out Angel’s name, imaging it to be his fingers. Coco told you that Angel would most likely be coming tomorrow morning since he has a run with Gilly. 
Now that you had the apartment to yourself, you had to release some stress and what better way than masturbating as you thought of your ex-boyfriend and roommate.
Angel froze by your door, the door was slightly ajar, giving him the perfect view of you with just your shirt on, masturbating. You were wet, incredibly fucking wet and Angel’s dick immediately hardened. He was entranced, walking inside your room. He placed his beer bottle on your dresser. You were so lost in ecstasy you didn’t even hear the door open or hear Angel approaching. 
Angel licked his lips, watching as you slipped your fingers out of you. Then he saw you about to do such an unacceptable thing, wipe your fingers on your towel. How could you be so wasteful?
He grabbed your hand, causing your eyes to open. You sat up, turning your vibrator off. You could feel your body heat up as you met Angel’s intense gaze.
“Angel,” you breathily let out.
He took your fingers into his mouth, sucking your juices off. 
“I told you baby girl, I’ll have you addicted after one taste.” Angel smugly told you. “You’ve been a bad girl, playing with daddy’s pussy without his permission.”
“You mean my pussy.” You emphasized on the word my and smirked. You weren’t going to let Angel win. 
Angel chuckled. He pulled you towards the edge of the bed, grabbing your vibrator. “I’m just gonna have to edge the brat out of you tonight.”
“Ah, trying to disappoint me again?” You leaned back on your elbows, spreading your legs.
“Baby, I’m not the one getting myself off.” Angel kneeled in front of you, placing your legs on his shoulders. “Hearing you moan my name got daddy hard baby, so you’re gonna have to fix that.” He turned on your vibrator, running it up and down your thigh, but never going near your center. You watched him curiously, your respiration increasing. Placing a kiss on your inner thigh, he looked at you, a mischievous smile on his face. “I’m gonna fucking ruin you, just like you ruined me.”
His words made you wetter. The way his voice dropped down to a deeper timbre, Angel was going to kill you.
Angel spread your folds, running your vibrator up and down, pressing it against your clit.
“Fuck,” your head fell back, biting your lip to prevent yourself from giving Angel anymore satisfaction.
“A rule, you’re not allowed to hold back, let me hear you.” He slipped your vibrator inside you, Angel held your hips down as your moans were just escaping your lips with no remorse. “That’s it mami, let me hear you.” He temporarily moved his hand so he could unbutton his jeans and pull his zipper down. His dick was straining against his jeans and he had to give himself a little more room. “How many times did you come before I came?”
You didn’t want to answer him, so you stayed quiet, moving your hips down to meet Angel. He stopped moving, taking out your vibrator.
“How many times?” He questioned again, slipping a finger inside, groaning at how tight you were. “Fuck baby, you’re just clenching around me, you want to come?” He slipped a second not long after, your back arching. “How many times mi dulce?”
“Angel,” you whimpered, wanting him to move his fingers. He held your hips down.
He bit your inner thigh, the pain making you wetter, clenching around his fingers. He kissed the place where he bit you. “Wrong name baby.”
“Daddy, please let me come.”
“How many times?”
“See, how easy was that.” Angel thrusted his fingers in and out of you, the metal rings on his fingers provided such great contrast against your wet heat. The familiar feeling at the pit of your stomach was building, you knew your orgasm was imminent and just as you were about to reach that high, Angel removed his fingers, causing you to slam your hand against the mattress. 
Angel chuckled. He stood up, sucking your juices from his fingers. It was such an erotic sight, it made you moan. He took off his boxers and jeans, making his way over to you. You moved back and Angel followed after you. The hesitance came then. If you two slept together, it would definitely shift something between you two. You knew this wouldn’t be a one time thing, you weren’t going to kid yourself into thinking that. Angel has never been one to bullshit you. With the way he spoke, you knew after you give yourself to him, you two would drift together again and again.
“I think we’re good.” You placed your foot on Angel’s sculpted abdomen, mouth watering at the sight of Angel in all of his naked glory.
Angel raised an eyebrow at you and took your foot so he could pull you close to him. He placed your leg to wrap around him and he looked down at you. His hand caressed your cheek before making its way down to your throat, softly squeezing it.
“Dime mami, why are you so hesitant?” Angel always wondered why you made the rule to never mess with your exes again. He always reasoned that you seem to have no problem with him and you would simply say he was different.
“Come on Angel, you don’t want to do this. I know you’re on the rebound from that rebel leader. Let’s not ruin what we have by having sex. We can still go back to the way it was.” You gasped when you felt Angel run the tip of his cock along your folds.
“Rebound?” Angel chuckled. “All I’m hearing are excuses. I want you, every fucking part of you. You’re not a rebound cielo.” He hovered over you, his hand on each side of your head. His lips were inches away from yours, touching whenever he grinded down against you. “Stop resisting it, I know you want me. Only thing that’s going to change is that you’re going to be sleeping with me from now on and no clothes in the apartment.”
“Angel, come on, you don’t want to cross the line.” You we’re trying to dissuade him, but even your voice didn’t have any fight in it.
“Listen, I’ve been waiting for the six months grace period after a break-up so that I’m not the rebound. I don’t give a fuck about Adelita, I’ve wanted you since you came back into my life.” Angel placed a kiss on your neck, licking and nipping at the area. “I tried to move on by focusing on Adelita, but as soon as you broke things off with Adam, I knew I had to make you mine.” 
Well, that was an interesting development. You never would have been able to tell that Angel was still interested in you. Not until this last month or so. But to know he was interested in you this whole time, it was different.
Angel wasn’t anything like Carmelo. Maybe you could give Angel a chance, besides, you two were just going to have sex, no strings attached.
You watched as Angel licked his fingers, slipping two inside of you.
“Wouldn’t you much rather have daddy’s cock inside of you?” He was too good at this,
“Yes daddy, I do.”
Angel groaned, wetting his cock with your wetness. 
Angel groaned but obliged to your request. He ran over to his room and grabbed a few packets. He ripped the packet with his teeth, sliding the condom over his cock. You were holding yourself up with your arms, watching as Angel crawled over to you once again. 
He spit down on your pussy, adding more lubrication, though he was certain you didn’t need it. He began to slide in, making you groan at the stretch.
“Fuck.” You gasped. Angel pushed your legs towards your chest, widening you up for all of him to see. You would never tell Angel, but he was the biggest you’ve ever had, everyone else failed to compare to him and this was your first time. 
“Look at my tight little pussy stretching out, mi cielo.” Angel paused waiting for you to adjust. He circled your clot a few times, making you whimper, your hand pushing against his lower abdomen. “You tapping out already?” The cockiness in his voice drove you fucking crazy, but fuck, it felt so damn good. He was well endowed, but adding his filthy mouth, forget about it.
Angel was definitely backing all the shit he was talking. 
“No,” you took a deep breath, making Angel chuckle. “Don't be so smug, you’re the one chasing after me.”
“I don’t care, I’ll chase after you always cause after this, it’s you and me.” Angel kissed you, his weight on you felt amazing. Usually, you didn’t like to be this close with your partner, but with Angel, you weren’t close enough. He straightened out his back again and began to thrust in and out. He changed his pace ever so often, going slow and then fast.
Whenever you were at the brink, Angel would stop, and just watch you writhe beneath him.
“You cumming mi cielo?” He wrapped a hand around your neck, softly squeezing it as he kissed your cheek. “You look so beautiful like this, letting daddy pound that tight little pussy.”
“Angel.” You were pleading, you wanted to come. He’s denied you far too much and you didn’t know how much more you could take. 
“Use the right name baby, and I might let you come.” He tugged on your earlobe with his teeth, everything was heightened for you right now.
“Daddy, please let me come.” You begged.
Angel smiled against your neck. He thrusted in and out of you faster now and not before long, you came with a scream, his name and expletives were your choice of words.
He watched as you came down from your high, his movements stilled to let you take a breath.
“You good?” 
You nodded your head. “Guess there are perks to be the community dick.” The smirk on your face was playful and Angel was definitely enjoying this.
Your dynamic has always been laid back, easy, and playful. You two were too serious at eighteen. He remembered how overwhelming it was for him to feel so deeply for someone and yet, he could never say those three coveted words. If he said it, it brought a different type of relationship, elevated it to somewhere he knew he couldn’t turn back from. If he admitted it, he would hold on tightly and he knew he shouldn’t so he never said it.
But seeing you all those years ago, reconnecting like no years had passed, the feelings came back strongly. It hit him like a freight truck. He pulled away at first, but he always found himself pulled to you. 
Then you two started living together.
And now, here you two were.
No more other people.
No more games.
At least for him, but for you, he wasn’t sure. He was certain you were attracted to him. 
“You still talking shit?” Angel chuckled as he shook his head.
“Stating facts Ignacio.” 
“See, till you refer to me as the right name, I’m just going to keep edging you.”
You weren’t sure why you were fighting with Angel, this man was gifted and it was just unfair. He was sweet, kind, funny and ridiculously good looking. And now he was well endowed and phenomenal in bed? He won at everything.
For the third time, Angel edged you as he ate you out again. You were gripping the sheets so hard that you pulled it out of its place. You panted hard as Angel moved away from you, watching as you arched your back as his fingers continued to thrust in and out of you.
“You ready to give daddy what he wants?”
“Ignacio, don’t flatter yourself, I have things that can make me cum.” You were a little shit, but you learned from the best. 
Angel quickly replaced his fingers with his cock, a new condom on. He pulled you up using your shirt, running his fingers that were wet with your juices along your lips. You opened your mouth, taking his fingers into your mouth, licking and sucking on his fingers as if it was his cock.
“You’re gonna be the death of me querida.” He groaned. “I’m sure your toys can help you, but nothing would make you feel as good as me.” He laid his body on top of yours, hand on your neck, his mouth nipping at your ear. His weight felt so good. He thrusted in and out of your slowly, fucking you into insanity. “Daddy owns this pussy now, no one, nothing will be able to satisfy you like I can. I’m addicted to you now, baby, I’ll never get enough of you.” 
His warm breath tickling your ear, but the sensation of him fucking you slowly, along with the way he whispered how good you felt, how he could do this all night long, you clenched around him. 
“I’m going to let you cum because daddy is good to his baby girl. You want to cream my dick mi cielo?”
“Yes daddy, let me cum, I want to cum all over your dick.” You gave in, your orgasm was cooling up in your lower abdomen and you just want some release. 
Angel removed his hand from around your neck and intertwined his hands with yours instead. He kissed you as he picked up his pace, his hips slightly stuttering as you came around him quickly, his lips swallowing your moans. His lips hovered above yours as you whimpered out his name. Angel thrusted into you a few more times, cumming inside the condom. He kissed you once more, sweeter than before.
He slipped out of you, your legs closing, trying to recover from that good fucking Angel just gave you. 
He retrieved a warm cloth, cleaning you up. He placed a kiss on your clothed abdomen, making you giggle.
Angel smiled down at you and rubbed your thigh up and down.
You both knew things shifted almost a month ago. But you and Angel were going to two different places.
Angel wanted for you to give him a chance, to renew what you once had. He always told himself, you were placed back in his path for a reason. With everything that happened with EZ, Adelita, the cartel, he was presented with a second chance to be with you, and he wasn’t passing this up.
While you, this was a one time thing and you were going to try and figure out how to go back to being just friends, just roommates. Going down this road wouldn’t bode well for both of you. The itch has been scratched and that was that.
Too bad you forgot just how persistent Angel could be. 
tagged list: @justahopelessssromantic : @ifoundmyhappythought : @carlaangel86 : @woahitslucyylu : @encounterthepast : @enamoured-x : @thewarriorprincessxo : @briana-mishell24 : @bribri-82 : @chibsytelford : @agirllovespancakes  : @twistnet : @everyhowlmarksthedead​ : @trulysuccubus​ : @jadert15​ : @sammskellington​ : @cind-in-real-life​ :  @onmyspookysblock​ : @sadeyesgf​ : @thickemadame​ : @summertimesadnesswithadashofsass​ : @gemini0410​ : @elcococruz​ : @samcrobae​ : @sesamepancakes​ : @iambabyharry​ : @blackmissfrizzle​ : @mrs-losa​ : @1-800-imagines​ : @phoenixhalliwell​ : @lady-pswrld​ : @dazzledamazon​  : @getyourcrayoncas​ : @fvckthisbxtchup​ : @lukealvxz​ : @scuzmunkie​ : @lilac-tea-time​ : @danie1432​ : @cocotheclown​ : @soaronmywings​ : @my-rosegold-soul​ : @buttercup812​ : @un-poetryy​ : @angelreyesgirl​ : @sheeshgivemeabreak​ : @vicmackeybullshxt​ : @bigcreatorwombatdreamer​ : @khyharah​ : @strawberrywritings​ : @cherry-icetea​ : @fuzzy-jellyfish​ : @losolvidad0s​ : @brownsugarcoffy​ : @courtrae89​ : @prdsdjarin​ : @blessedboo​ : @marvelmaree​ : @enamouravecleslivresetlechocolat​ : @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead​ : @thesandbeneathmytoes​ : @dark-twisted-and-mechanical-mind​ : @maddie-georges​ : @pearlkitten33​ : @aquamento​ : @incorrect-mcdanno​ : @that-chick212​ : @imanerdychubbyqueen​ : @60shannon​ : @deeandbobbymcgee​ : @rebel-without-cause-x​ : @marquelapage​ : @justlikebreathing​ : @mindless-x-dreaming​ : @thesewordsareallihavetogive​ : @wiccanmetallicrose​ : @eternangels
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wisteria-lodge · 9 months ago
bird primary (system in progress) + burnt badger secondary (really loud bird model)
Howdy! I’m still trying to figure out my own houses and was wondering if you could provide some insight. I haven’t exactly mastered the system so I don’t know how accurate/inaccurate my claims are, so bear with me.
The “why”/Primary: I am extremely motivated by knowledge. I want to know things, not just out of intrinsic curiosity (though that does play a role), but because knowing why things work helps me protect myself more effectively.
One of the trickiest things about this system is separating motivation from method. Because yeah, they are related, but they're also really different. Like this example: "I protect myself by learning things." That's a how, that's secondary stuff. (Bird secondary of course.)
A recent example is this— a group of my former friends all ditched me because I discussed a heavily stigmatized mental disorder that I show symptoms of. And my first response (other than bawling) was to ask them why. And when I got the answer, I was hurt, but I understood. I don’t say this for you to show me pity, but rather because it illustrates this model in action.
This is a really interesting example. Your friends acted in a way that emotionally hurt you. First you processed your feelings (which you talk about in a dismissive, lighthearted, jokey way) then you asked them for more information... which hurt you, but also made you more secure. This is very Bird primary. You feel feelings, but they're whatever. What actually bothers you is not having the data.
(I suspect you're going to end up being a Double Bird. And Double Birds are unique in that their morality and problem-solving are SO interconnected, that they think I'm crazy for saying that for most people, they are in fact two very different things.)
When I got the why and processed my emotions, I cut off ties and realized that their severe judgy-ness had hindered my life for 2 years. And now that I know the “why”, I won’t bring up said disorder again until I know it’s safe. It might never be, but I still have hope.
You updated your system, and you cut away the parts that aren't serving you anymore. Bird primary.
Morally-speaking, I am very sensitive to the views of others around me.
External primary.
I’m not proud of this. In fact, it’s a detriment.
A lot of Birds feel this way. It's a big part of why they tend to like Lion primaries. Lions are much more able to dismiss things with "sounds like that's a them problem."
I won’t go into details, but my parents are… bad. Not wholly, but they are bad. I’ve tried for years, and still do, to escape their opinions because I know it’ll influence mine.
Parents are sticky. They do that. I've been a happily UnBurnt Lion primary for a while now... but I still sometimes hear that voice in my head that sounds like my mother.
And, much like them, I tend to get over-passionate in what I stand for. Unlike them, I’m willing to change if evidence supports this change. I always, however, carry the burden of my former hatred. I always feel guilt over my old beliefs. Even if I’ve changed, the pain I’ve done can never be reversed. And this guilt eats me alive, this shame of being fundamentally wrong.
Okay. You got really emotional on me really quickly here. This could mean a couple things. Your parents sound like fairly toxic Idealists, either Exploded Lions or Exploded Birds (I'm sort of leaning Lion due to the more emotion-heavy words like "passion" and "hatred.") Birds can feel bad, feel guilt, feel shame when looking back at an older version of themselves that they now consider morally repugnant. (Birds are human.) Idealists struggle with the angst of worrying that they are fundamentally wrong about the world. So you could be a guilty Bird, especially if your emotions feel wrong or unhelpful somehow. But you could also be a very Burnt Lion modeling Bird - because Bird seems safer, and you don't want to be a Lion the way your parents are.
When the friend-event happened, I thought that I was in the wrong, and that I had once again fucked myself over because of my passion and sureness in what I have.
"I thought I was wrong because I was acting like an Exploded Lion primary." Yeah, I'm thinking there's some sort of outside influence here that needs to be unpacked.
It took a lot of convincing and evidence for me to see that they were the assholes (albeit I wasn’t pure either— I was their friend, after all).
I'm definitely leaning Bird for you. A bird surrounded by Lions maybe, who sometimes uses Lion terminology. But Bird.
I am a planner and system-lover at heart. I’m not proud of it, but it’s just part of me.
What's with all this negative language? Being a planner and a system-lover is a wonderful thing to be. There's some Burning here.
The caveat— I have autism, so I’m not sure if it’s due to that or not. Hence the shortness of this section. Take it as you will, regardless of if it’s evidence or not.
I have autism and I'm a Lion Badger. People are different. The only real pattern I've observed is the way nerodivergent people disproportionately build Bird secondaries as coping strategies.
Honesty is maybe not the best policy, it’s still an admirable one. I wish, frankly, that my moral system was more honest. I feel like I have no set morals. That it all comes from elsewhere. Lion primaries have this set, intrinsic morality that I envy. My friend is a lion primary, and while my views have radically changed, hers haven’t inched. She’s always been honest about herself and what she holds true.
I'm doubling down on Bird primary for you. This is the perspective of a Bird looking in on a Lion. Lion morality isn't set or intrinsic - it's built, and it changes, but it builds and changes differently than a Bird's does (more slowly, usually). But there really is a pattern of Birds seeing it as more moral/easier/better.
And I’m still trying to figure out what “truth” means to me. I mean, yes, I’m a dry and blunt asshole, but that’s not really the same as gut morality. Internal honesty is what I want, and external honesty is what I have to some extent.
It sounds that you are going though a lot of very intense shifts in your life right now. You've got a diagnosis that has you questioning your place in the world. You've followed your parent's system all you life, and are now deciding that you don't want that. But now comes deciding what you do want, and that's a lot harder (especially for a Bird, who has to build it from the ground up.) You like the way Lions do things, but Lion primaries do not feel accessible.
I’m very clear with who I like. I can admit their faults, and even get annoyed or angry at them, but not even betrayal can stop me from loving them. I’d compare myself to the Twelfth Doctor from “Doctor Who” and Ponyboy Curtis from The Outsiders in that regard.
So maybe you are building a system with very Snake values.
Loyalty is one of my weaknesses. I get overly-attached to people, and so if/when they leave me, it shatters my world. But my brand of loyalty is mostly to people, not philosophical ideas.
... but you're not *really* comfortable with Snake either, if you consider it to be a "weakness."
I would consider myself somewhat philosophical (well, as much as a fucking teenager can be)
Teenagers are *extremely* philosophical, stop being so down on yourself.
but I can be somewhat vague in my beliefs.
Because you're still building them, give yourself a *second.*
If I were to rate the likelihood of what primary I think I am, it’s something like this:
Bird: 9/10 probability (maybe burned)
Snake: 7/10 probability
Badger: 6/10 probability (maybe burned)
Lion: 2/10 probability
What is it with Birds and numbered lists?
The “how”: I feel like I change in order to fit in. I mean, to some extent, we all do, but it’s far more drastic for me. With the lion primary friend, I act as a “Jason Todd” to their Batman. I challenge them, egg them on, crack jokes and become violently passionate and act like a nerd, and she simply watches, usually adding her own comments but mostly sitting on the sidelines by choice. We also joke that I’m the Ferris Bueller to their Cameron Frye. But, with another friend, I’m a parent figure. I listen most of the time, and sometimes jump in with creative ideas and we talk for hours about it.
I'm guessing Actor Bird, both because you can specifically list out the qualities that you "act" out. And because you're invoking and basing your performance off specific [fictional] characters. Which is a HUGE Actor Bird thing.
I go with the flow of a given situation as best as I can (with the added caveat of being autistic, because that does affect how well I can read a room). However, that’s where the adaptation ends.
Huh. I'm hearing Burnt secondary language here. "I'd like to go with the flow and read the room - but I can't, because I'm autistic." You can definitely *learn* how to read a room. Why do you think I'm so interested in (and good at :) personality systems? This is how I learned to use my Courtier Badger. I used to model Bird secondary like crazy, and I kind of don't bother anymore. I don't need the training wheels.
Planning: like I stated before, I’m a planner. I try to learn the most about a situation before jumping in. Sometimes, however, I stall the inevitable and miss my chance, so I jump in and wind up nearly drowning. And this dichotomy repeats. I overcompensate for a lack of knowledge in a situation by micromanaging, or I wind up sitting bored when I’ve already done everything I need to do. And yes, stress and boredom are equally as destructive for me. I try so hard to plan to avoid both of these outcomes, but it only works half the time. So, I guess I’m a bit of a “planster” overall.
I want to learn about a situation... but sometimes I "stall" or "drown" (Burnt language.) But planning also leads to "micromanaging" and "getting bored" (model language.) I think you've got a really loud Bird secondary model... but there might be something else underneath.
Collecting things is fun. Postcards, candles, lighters, crystals, rocks, 1940s hats, knowledge, stories, music, (original) characters, the list goes on. I’m a collector of whatever I can get my hands on. Hell, by this point, I can’t tell what’s my special interest and what I just enjoy (again, autism).
Oh my goodness gracious 'my special interest' and 'what I enjoy' are not two different categories!
But my systems and collections are my coping.
I can’t say, though, that they hold any weight outside of emotional release. There’s nothing practical about knowing how they shot The Outsiders movie, or how crows have a flat tail and ravens have two main sections on theirs. All of this knowledge almost feels useless to me. I mean, sure, I’m great at school, but what else? Nothing, it seems like. And being good at school and nothing else makes a person go crazy when they can’t achieve their academic goals. But that’s a bit besides the point— I’m a collector, but I’m unsure how well this really fits into a secondary beyond a model.
Bird secondary model.
I invest in others more than I care to admit.
Oh man, are you a Badger secondary like me?
I genuinely believe in the goodness in humans, no matter how impossible it becomes. Even those who I don’t see any good in aren’t wholly evil. My perception isn’t law.
^ That's primary stuff. Maybe a more Badger-flavored system is going to work better for you than a Snake-flavored one.
But some people trust me: with their secrets, with homework, with relationship issues, with their religious struggles. And I try to help. I might not be good with it, but I do try to help as best I can.
Kinda sounds like a Badger secondary.
I use my planning and my categorizing skills and my knowledge to benefit others. I show up, I do what I need to do, and I don’t usually expect much to come of it. It’s nice when something does, but it’s not expected. And sometimes, these investments into others' lives and grades and relationships do pay off. I make friends. Those friends stick by me, and I trust them. I continue to invest in others, because I am a lover even though I’m cynical.
I think you're a Badger secondary.
And when that trust is broken, like the example in the beginning, I go to people who won’t abandon me to get a second opinion. When I say that I love someone, I mean it. So it hurts when they leave. It always does.
Oh that's your friends leaving hit you so hard. It's not an abstract morality thing at all, it's practical. You're a Badger secondary, and they were your base of support.
I’ll be frank on this— I’m almost entirely sure that I’m not a lion secondary. I’m fiercely efficient and some people see me as a good leader, but that’s it.
Lion and Badger are the two Inspirational secondaries. They're the one who sort of manage to collect armies or families as a side effect of existing.
Even with the leader example, I prefer interpersonal relations or to be alone. I’m not a big fan of group settings.
That's fair. I am also a Badger who really, really likes my own company. Or small groups of interesting people.
If I were to rate the likelihood of what secondary I am, it’s like this:
Bird: 7/10 probability
Badger: 6/10 probability
Snake: 5/10 probability
Lion: 0/10 probability
Other systems for comparison: I’m aware that MBTI and enneagram are, at worst, pseudo-science, but I still enjoy them regardless. At best, they’re fun self-help tools, and that’s how I try to use them.
MBTI: INTJ (Ni-Te-Fi-Se)
Enneagram: 5w4, tritype 514
Sagittarius sun libra moon cancer rising in astrology
FLEV or LFEV in attitudinal psyche
sx/sp (sexual and self-preservation) in instinctual variants
MBTI, Enneagram, and astrology are all fun in their own ways. (I don't actually know the last two!) And I can talk about them on their own terms. But this system was the best, and the most useful, when I went looking for words to describe myself.
I hope this is enough information, and thank you again if you do happen to do this! If you don’t, that’s totally okay. Have a good day!
Thank you for writing in. That was a journey! Thanks @thesketchykid for the submission.
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heart-forge · a year ago
at the risk of opening a huge can of worms,, care to rant about ao3 or talk about what you don't like about it? i don't know a lot about it and im super curious + i trust your opinion,, if that sounds like a lot of mental energy of course no worries,, love you n take care
tw mention of common controversial fic tag topics like child abuse, sexual violence, racism etc...because when you talk about the site, these things inevitably crop up. Anyway, time to swing a bat at a beehive.
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I mean, first and foremost I want to point out because it doesn't really need to be hidden behind a tw, that when you're consuming content and not signed in then you have to agree to their terms of service which includes "if you reveal your race or religion or sexuality then you might open yourself up to harassment based on that, click here to agree" and from the very second they put that up I've thought it was the ugliest and most hateful thing I've ever seen in my life. I stopped using the site for a long time because it was so hideous to me that rather than put any basic effort towards moderation they just made you agree to a disclaimer that you understood that being gay or black or muslim would get you bullied and they won't do anything. Fuck them to the depths of hell for that, but I'll get into why the site is still used despite it's god awful garbage policy on washing its hand of all the content it allows to be on there.
I guess the tl;dr of that is both I don't think that using the site is morally worse than using any other social media site (ie I think all sites are equally as guilty as ao3, not that I think ao3 is not any worse than any other site), but I also understand why someone would individually decide to not use the site because they find it morally repulsive.
If you read this and feel the need to tell me about the old days of the internet when fanfiction was subversive and dangerous to post because of copyright, please go outside and touch some grass because you're an adult and you should have better things to do (not specifically you anon, this is a blanket warning).
tl;dr not every triggering piece of media is a masterpiece and should stop pretending like it is, not every person who writes about trauma is brave and indeed some of them are the reason people have to write about their trauma later on, "writing as therapy" is only valid insofar as you ask yourself if your mental health is better or worse after exposing your vulnerabilities to a fandom for public validation, and then you have to ask yourself if it was worth the reader's mental health as well, we as a species are responsible for other people (especially children) whether we like it or not, and finally ao3 has abdicated that responsibility in favour of pretending they're doing something vital by hosting and taking oodles and oodles of donations for...what exactly? Are they in a constant state of being sued? Is someone getting paid, because they have a lot of volunteers and no paid humans to moderate complaints/reports?
I know people have a lot of valid financial criticisms about how they run their business (I’ve seen posts but I didn’t memorize them so I’ll just skim on by these: I’m sure if you searched AO3 tag on Tumblr you’d see...well a lot that probably isn't worth the effort, but maybe find someone who has the proper mileage to talk about business practices).
I mostly, very frankly, don’t really approve of “well it was tagged” methodology behind allowing people to write whatever crosses their mind no matter how triggering or poorly thought or harmful it is overall. Stick with me here, people like to react at this point.
This shouldn’t be very surprising as I’ve at least posted snippets of blogs pointing out that I think people who claim basic moderation of content is censorship are stupid and as annoying to engage with as your garden variety Reddit troll, and that not every piece about controversial topics is a stunning deep dive into morality and the human mind and a lot of it is just trite garbage that hides behind the reputation of much better pieces of media as if every fic containing CSA is Lolita (which in itself struggles to be understood in a world that mostly supports child abuse and hates girls and women, but that’s a discussion you can hear from the Lolita Podcast, tw for...well it’s about the book Lolita so CSA at minimum), which they aren’t.
Again, is an AO3 anime fanfic the best platform for trauma content in general? And that’s without even asking “is this something that’s present in the text being explored by the author” (for example, the Elder Scrolls has sexual violence baked into vampire lore: I tag for sexual violence, therefore, if I mention topics directly pertaining to it, even though I never and will never write explicit sexual violence just because that's not my deal), versus "was this added by the author to an unrelated work" and "why did they do that?" (and "which character did they do it to" and "why that character" and "is this author enacting a violent sexual fantasy against as marginalized group because it makes them horny because I gotta tell you, not interested in the rights of those people overall let alone to do so in a public space where there's kids and also normal people").
People talk about fic as therapy which is valid to a point, but you have to ask yourself if therapy needs to be posted for public consumption. It's entirely possible that people are writing and posting therapy fics in good faith, but that doesn't mean that they have a get out criticism free card: they need to ask themselves if that's an appropriate and healthy way to approach theraputic writing (if it's for therapy, do you want it to be subject to public opinion? do you want it to be subject to people who aren't critically engaging with it and just think it's sexy? is that healthy for you? is that healthy for the person reading it?), if it's a valuable deconstruction of your feelings or literally just venting (ie did you want to deep dive on a topic, did you want to show it as a multifaceted thing, did you want to show the effects it can have in a healthy and safe space, or were you writing it to just get it out of you? if you just wanted it out of you, did it need to be posted for others to interact with? again, is that healthy for you? is that healthy for others?), or if it's really for theraputic purposes or if that's another wall that predators are hiding behind to validate themselves (which I gotta say, I see "turns out x person in fandom was a predator" way more often than I see a fic like this and think "wow they really got at something here").
Now, here's where people with the instinct to react to all that have my permission to calm down because I have a very obvious answer to the people who are screaming CENSORSHIP, WHY DON'T YOU JUST GIVE ME A LIST OF TOPICS IT'S OKAY TO WRITE ABOUT at their screen. Real people doing real moderation work is the answer, but much like literally all large scale social media sites, ao3 doesn't do that. If they want to allow for topics like that to be engaged with, if they want to allow for people to have the space to do this, it has to come part and parcel with people moderating for users who will abuse the system. For example, it gets grey around sexual violence, as it can be framed in a consensual and sexual way (BDSM, for example, is something that could both be consensual but should be tagged as sexual violence if it includes such a thing)—a human moderator can see that. A tag leaves that up to the writer and the person who's consuming it without really knowing which it is.
I'm just saying, but for a site that takes in so much money through donations, they should be able to invest in a real team of real (diverse!) people paid to moderate fic to make sure that a fic tagged underage is addressing something in canon (allowing for the extremely insignificant statistical chance that a victim is reclaiming a character from a fic and not just writing underage because they're a young teenager who wants their self-insert to be their age but doesn't want to age down a canonical character, or again the visibly more significant portion of people who think it's sexy) and not glorifying child abuse because the author is a child abuser who thinks that publically posting such a thing "doesn't count" because there was not a physically alive child involved (that they know of).
Which is a segway into the next point, you only have to be thirteen to sign up to a website that proudly hosts not only these topics (which, like it or not, it shouldn't be up to a child to self-moderate full stop; I don't care who "turned out okay" in the end, I don't care who thinks its good for kids to be exposed to intense and/or explicit topics (speaking from experience, go to hell), I don't care if every day TV shows and movies are just as bad so who cares, I don't care if "well they'll find it somewhere", it is not their job to self moderate as a feature of the website and it's not for a website run by adults to trust that children will stick to their lane once they've already been told that this is a space that includes them) but also just garden variety explicit content. You can never guarantee that nobody is lying about their age, and it's not good practice to assume that someone who seems like a child online actually is one: it is, however, your responsibility to do your level best to make sure that you've made clear that a child isn't welcome in the space that you've created explicitly for adult content. My games are all tagged as NSFW on itch, even though there isn't explicit boning. I don't love to associate my games with what is a GENEROUS swath of fetish porn, but I also don't want kids there in case I ever do want to get a little dicey with the sexual content, or violence content. I don't want to write in the responsible kind of way that one does when there's kids around, so I use the tools I have to do my best to make sure that kids know it's not their space.
It's what makes being a content creator difficult, on ao3 and on every website: every site is technically like this. You know children are there, and you know they're happy to lie about their age to get at restricted content. As a user, all you can really do is tag it and hope that people abide by those tags, because there are no content moderators there for you to get help from and the original purposes of these tags (as warnings) is being twisted by people (many of whom I think would absolutely get the ban hammer if there was a real and dedicated team of moderators and a useful and meaningful way to report people) into being used as advertisements.
Now, there's plenty to say about how functional an actual team of moderators would be (cog is proof of that, plus the basic human knowledge that putting a team of cis white people on the job isn't going to represent the interests of targeted parties), but contemporary internet has at minimum proven that 1) doing nothing, and 2) letting a robot decide, isn't working. Every website is just as culpable as ao3, but ao3 is in the extremely dubious position of being proud to host the things that it does, refusing to moderate and putting full responsibility for consuming content on a userbase that includes children, and only just now (I've heard: rumours swirl) giving people a way to block others? Other companies (YouTube another big "we're happy to traumatize children for dollars") at least have the smokescreen ability to restrict that content, even if they don't exercise it (or exercise it very badly, but the point is ao3 was built for adult content).
I don't think everyone who uses ao3 is being willfully ignorant or negligent in some way (obviously: I still use it). It's the most popular and high trafficked fic site and out of the three big ones (WattPad, fanfic.net, and itself) has the better reputation as far as "hosting work for people of a certain age" (ie, there's nothing for me, in my mid twenties, on WattPad, even if I'm not looking for sexual content). Engagement is just as terrible as it is on somewhere like Tumblr (the evil you know) but on ao3 you're not competing with visual art which is a huge problem on multi media sites (not to pit artists and writers against each other, but I'm sure many text game authors are happy to talk about how poor their engagement is compared to games with visual sprites).
I think the owners of ao3 are being extremely negligent and doing so on purpose because they come from a pool of people who think that 1) they turned out fine (which is subjective on a huge scale and I would definitely argue that adults who figure they blanket turned out fine after exposure to even casual internet usage among mostly their peers should reexamine; you don't have to have full blown PTSD to recognise that something deeply affected you as a child and where exactly you found that shit), and that 2) they have no means of for sure keeping out children and therefore they're clear to do nothing (which is a terrible abdication of responsibility, all the way down to greedily including children (with a wealth of spare time, potentially spare income depending on the household, and willingness to believe that a site that caters to their interests is therefore interested in them as an individual) in their userbase while claiming not to cater to them).
I think every dogshit fic on their is on their shoulders far more than the handful of inoffensive stuff or the stuff that they get praised for hosting (ie, good fic). I also don't think there's an ice cube's chance in hell of their policy ever changing, simply because you can't tell anything to people who think getting bullied for liking fandom is the same as structural oppression, and at this point the site has been allowed to grow so far without moderation that the effort to bring it under control would be an insane expense in both time and recompense for people who would be setting themselves up to purposely dig through traumatizing material in order to weed out the shit that should never have been allowed to be there in the first place.
My work and the work of my friends and peers on there is not a reflection of them having done something correctly, only that they have a stranglehold on sites specifically for hosting writing where fic writers are able to at all engage with fandom, versus multimedia sites where we're largely ignored for the much for aesthetically straightforward (ie "make the blog look nice") and optimized (Tumblr is NOT optimized for long text posts, not from a posting perspective and not from a display perspective) visual art (which still struggles with engagement!).
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metalheadcowboy · a year ago
2020 Quarantine teacher Steve Harringrove AU
( @catharrington , I finally finished this after exactly 200 years, be proud XD )
“Church, no! Christ!”
Steve caught his mug of tea just before it was knocked on the floor by Billy’s devil of a cat. 
‘Let’s get a kitten, Steve!’ He said, ‘Cat’s are so much easier than dogs!’ At this point Steve was really starting to doubt that. He was pretty sure that taking care of a damn polar bear would be easier than trying to handle Church for ten minutes. 
“Billy, come get your problem child!” he exclaimed, holding his cup in a firm grip with his left hand, scrolling on his computer with his right. 
Today was the day, the first day of the school year, the first day of school in four months. While quarantine was never in the plan for Steve it wasn’t the worst thing to ever happen.
He got to spend the most time he’d spent with his husband since their honeymoon two years ago. Billy finally took the time to fix up his old Camaro that hadn’t run in at least a year. He learned some of the recipes out of his grandma’s old cook book that was gifted to him by his mother at their wedding, which, unsurprisingly, his father chose not to attend. He pretended not to care, but he did. He had always been seeking approval from his father and this was like the final nail in the coffin, the nail that really got it through his thick skull that he was never going to get it. That’s another thing quarantine had helped with. He and Billy likewise had begun going to therapy via video chat. Things still weren’t perfect but they were working on it.
While so much good came out of this way overly extended spring break, he missed his kids. He missed teaching, he missed his passion. He was never great at school, even when he applied himself, that’s why he went to college to become a high school teacher. Because he wanted to help kids like him who felt like school just wasn’t their thing. And while it would prove to be a challenge this year without any one on one time with his students or office hours to help them out, they would get through.
“Don’t call Church a problem child! He just likes a little trouble,” Billy scolded, scratching behind the over sized cat’s ears.
“Yeah, like father like son, now come help me, please?” Steve adjusted his glasses on his face, pushing them up further so that he could actually see.
“I really should be offended,” Billy said with a sigh, plopping himself down on the couch, Church purring happily in his lap, clearly pleased with what he had done.
“But you’re not,” Steve pointed out, moving the cursor on his mouse to open up Microsoft teams.
“And why is that?” Billy challenged, always the one to argue any chance he could. Or at least he called it arguing, Billy had become rather fond of calling himself a ‘Master Debater’ to Steve’s dismay.
“Because you love me,” Steve cooed, looking over at the blond for a moment with a wide, goofy grin. The same grin that always made Billy’s heart beat a little faster.
“Yeah, whatever.” Billy tried to brush off the soft blush tinting his cheeks and the tips of his ears. Steve could never understand why he still got flustered about anything to do with love, but he thought it was kinda cute. 
“Anyways,” Steve started, changing the subject, “I need you show me to start a meeting with my first period again.” Billy had shown him yesterday how to do it, but he had already forgotten. He didn’t mean to, sometimes things just slipped his mind and never came back.
“Again, Stevie? I just showed you yesterday.” Billy had shown him yesterday how to do it, but he had already forgotten. He didn’t mean to, sometimes things just slipped his mind and never came back. 
“i know- it’s just you know how I am sometimes, shit for brains.” Steve let out a soft chuckle.
“You’re not ‘shit for brains’, you’re just a special,” Billy grinned before leaning forward to press a quick kiss to the apple of the brunette’s cheek before he could dodge it.
“Because that makes me feel so much better asshole,” Steve shot back, using his elbow to jab Billy lightly in the ribs.
“That’s not very appropriate is it now, Mr. Harrington,” Billy added, just trying to get on Steve’s nerves at this point, but he had been trained in this, worked with fucking teenagers for a living. He wouldn’t be riled up that easily.
“Listen, I’m serious, class starts in like 3 minutes and there won’t even be a class if I can’t start the meeting,” he was aimlessly moving his mouse around the screen, waiting for directions. And surprisingly he got them without another word of teasing or complaint.
“You just go to your classes,” Billy pointed his finger to the ‘Teams’ tab on the left hand side of his computer, “And then once you click on the class you want.” He then waited for Steve to click on his first period class before giving him any further instruction.
“Now all you need to do is click the ‘Start Meeting’ button in the right top hand corner.” He pointed to it again just so Steve would know just where it was.
“That easy, huh?” Steve asked with a slight smile.
“Easy peasy lemon squeezy, baby,” Billy said with a grin of his own, “You all set?”
“Yup, I think I got it this time.” he assured, turning to Billy, giving him two thumbs up.
“Awesome, well, have a good first day, Mr. Harrington. I’ll only be a shout away if you need me.” Billy shifted forward ever so slightly, making sure not to bother Church of course, and pulled Steve into a short kiss. They’d kissed a million times before, but with them every time felt like the first. He supposed that’s what real love felt like, but then again he wasn’t sure. Hadn’t felt it with anybody else before.
As soon as the kiss broke Billy got up off of the couch, Church in his arms, and walked out of the living room and to to the kitchen, presumably for breakfast.
“And I don’t know how many time I have to tell you! You don’t have to call me ‘Mr. Harrington’!” Steve called to him, looking over the back of the couch, expecting a response.
“I know I don’t have to, but I’m going to!”
Steve just rolled his eyes with a sigh and a fond smile. He couldn’t really be upset because it was Billy he was talking about that. He knew the pestering nicknames just kinda came with the package.
He chewed on his bottom lip, rolling it around between his teeth as he thought.
‘Should I just start the meeting now? I mean, it’s 6:57, what’s 3 minutes. But what if I’m not supposed to? Is that not professional? Oh, what the hell-’
He pressed the button to start the meeting, 2 minutes and 34 seconds before 7:00, but it didn’t matter. He double checked that his camera and mic were on, the one thing he did remember how to do, before he sat back and waited for the kids to join.
He was drumming his fingers on this thighs when the first student popped up. It was a girl with shorter curly, very dark brown hair. He looked down down to read her name on the corner of her screen. Jordan Harris.
He kinda just sat up a little bit with a smile, not knowing what to say. He was almost relieved when other people began to join, one after the next, after the next. He was getting excited, missed having a classroom full of kids to teach. And while it might not be exactly the same, but it was something.
Once he had a good amount of kids, twenty three to be exact, he began speaking. He started with some filler just so the kids still joining wouldn’t miss too much.
“Hi guys!” Steve started, sounding excited, but not overly so, “God, this is weird.” He reveled in the round of small laughs he got from his class, even if he couldn’t hear it, he could see it. All their mics were muted, only allowed to be turned on if they had a question. It was school policy and he hated it, love engaging in conversation that wasn’t just him practically talking to himself.
He reached up to adjust his glasses once before he spoke again.
“Welcome to English 9, I hope that while the situation might not be conventional that we can still have a great year.” He could practically feel the eye roll Billy was giving him in the kitchen over what he, so lovingly, liked to call his ‘teacher voice’. Personally Steve couldn’t hear the difference, but to one their own.
“Also, if you have not answered the attendance question in Schoology I’d like you to please do that now.” 
While the kids did their attendance Steve took the chance to take a sip of the coffee that Billy had brewed for them both that morning. He really was the sweetest.
“Church!” Steve exclaimed, watching the large cat who was looking back at him with wide eyes, one paw hovering over the keyboard. He couldn’t believe he was about to have a showdown with a literal cat, but there he was staring down Church like they were in an old western movie. He could see in the background his students watching on as well.
He carefully leaned forward to set his coffee cup down at a respectable distance from Church’s back legs before making the move to grab him. He skillfully wrapped one arm around his middle using his other arm to support his weight from the bottom.
“Aha!” he exclaimed as Church just meowed innocently towards the camera with large eyes, as if he hadn’t done anything at all.
“You are such an ass sometimes,” Steve said, clearly not thinking about what he was saying until he said it. You could tell by his face that he was shocked by his own words.
“If you heard that... no you didn’t,” he said, watching everyone in the class burst into laughter before he carefully lowed Church back to the ground. Sometimes he felt like throwing the cat across the room, but he never did, Billy would probably divorce him if he did. Plus, not that he would ever admit it, but he almost thought of Church like a child. The most bratty, destructive child he’d ever met, but a child none the less.
Steve let out a long breath of air, running a hand through his hair before continuing on with his introduction to the course.
“Anyways, so, I’m your teacher, Mr. Harrington. Did I already say that, oh well, a reminder never hurt,” Steve said, feeling so disorganized.
At home there were so many more distractions then there were at school. At school he felt like he could actually focus and get stuff done, at home it was a whole different story. He couldn’t stop thinking about what if church was doing this, what if he was doing that, wondering what Billy would cook the fr dinner. His eyes kept glancing this way and that way and here and there and over to the big floor to ceiling windows that looked onto their back yard. Doing his job never felt harder.
“And I was thinking that maybe we could play a little get to know you game. And I know you guys aren’t in the first grade anymore, but I still thought it could be a fun ice breaker since we can’t meet in person!” he offered up with a smile, trying to lighten the mood dampened by the virus.
He smiled even wider when he saw a few head nods even if they weren’t so enthusiastic they were up for the game and that’s all that mattered.
“Okay, okay, okay, so, I was thinking we could all take turns saying our names and then a fact about us. I’ll go first,” Steve promptly cleared his throat and sat up a little straighter like he was about to give a presentation.
“I’m Mr. Harrington and I moved to California...” he trailed off for a moment, tying to calculate just how long ago it was, “Almost ten years ago now. Oh my god I’m getting old.” He ran a distressed hand down his face while the rest of his class looked amused. He couldn’t believe it was really almost ten years since he, on a whim, agreed to move to California with Billy. It still felt unreal, like it was his own little fantasy, like he would wake up any moment and be nineteen again and still in Hawkins.
“Who wants to go next?” Steve asked and there was a silence, he had been expecting it, usually there weren’t many people that wanted to go first, especially at this age unless they were one of the kids who liked to goof off or something like that. He thought back to how that used to be him, oh how times had changed.
“I got you, I got you,” a boy with near bleach blonde hair spoke up, microphone unmuted, volunteering to go. He didn’t even look at the name before, knowing he’d learn it when he introduced himself.
“Shoot,” Steve said, leaning back into the couch, giving him the right away.
“Alright, I’m Josh and I play basketball,” he said and Steve nodded with a smile, making sure he was done before he spoke again.
“Very cool, I used to play a little ball myself when I was about your age,” he said, cringing at his attempt to sound cool. Ball? Who said that?
“Moving on, who wants to go next?”
“I will,” a girl spoke up, unmuting her mic as well.
“You got it,” Steve said, motioning for her to go.
“Okay, my name’s Maddie and I like listening to old 90′s music.”
As soon as the words ‘old 90′s’ came out of her mouth he through a hand over his heart.
“Old? since when is the 90′s old?” he questioned, looking as if he was hurt, but he really wasn’t, “I was born in the 90′s, are you calling me old?” As soon as he saw the slight look of panic come across her face he was quick to fix it.
“No! No, I didn’t mean it, I know that’s not what you meant,” he said, quickly laughing it off as a joke, not taking it to heart. He knew he wasn’t old, even if he did find a grey hair yesterday, he wasn’t old, that was just stress. 50 or 60 was old, he was only 29. He was fine.
“Hm, anyways, moving on to someone else,” he said, quickly trying to clear up the tense energy in the room, “Any volunteers?”
“Guess I’ll go,” a boy in the top right corner of his screen said. This time Steve didn’t even say anything, just gave in a thumbs up and waited for him to speak.
“I’m Reese and...”
Steve furrowed his eyebrows when he stopped talking, but was even more confused by the face he was making. He looked shocked, almost, scared? for some reason? He watched as slowly the entire classes expressions shifted to that of his own.
“What? What is it?” he asked, not wanting to be left in the dark any longer. Suddenly the chat filled up with the kids chatting to each other.
‘Who is that?😳’
‘He do be kinda hot doe 👀’
‘Chille, he’s probably like 20 years older than u’
‘Who’s gonna tell ‘em’
Steve swore he had never been more confused in his life until one of the kids finally spoke up.
“Uh, behind you Mr. Harrington.”
The final words before all hell broke loose.
Steve didn’t know what he was expecting to see when he turned around, but it was not what he saw.
Behind the couch, directly in the view of his students was his fresh out of the shower husband with a pure white towel wrapped around his waist. He was hunched over a little trying to pick out a book from the many worn out ones on their book shelf.
“Oh my god,” he whispered to himself, quickly turning back around to try and turn his camera back of.
“Damn it!” he exclaimed when he couldn’t figure out how too, so there was only one solution. Getting Billy himself out.
“What are you doing in here?” Steve asked trying to sound as calm as possible with the students looking on. It took a second for Billy to turn around and look at him with his own confusion before he looked right at the camera.
Steve could hear the chat practically blowing up behind him, but he was sure that he didn’t even want to begin to know what was being said. Was this it? Was he finally getting fired from his favorite job he’d ever had because of his himbo husband? Maybe.
“I was just looking for a book- I didn’t think I was in frame-” Billy started, sounded slightly embarrassed himself. Steve found it hard to stay mad when he spoke like that, what he looked like that, “I mean, it’s fine, right? I’m not showing anything explicit.”
Steve had never wanted to slam his head against a wall more in his life than right now.
“This is a 9th grade English class, I don’t think it’s very appropriate to be walking around in nothing but a towel explicit or not. Don’t you agree?” he asked and felt like he was talking down to a child.
“Okay, but it’s not like I’m showing my penis,” Billy argued and Steve could feel his face heating up from the embarrassment.
“Billy!” he scolded.
“It’s just my tits!” he yelled back.
“You don’t have tits!”
“Man tits.”
“You are five years old, literally five years old!”
“No five year old could look this good.” And that was the last straw for Steve.
“Get out of my livestream William or I swear to go I’ll beat your ass into next century!”
“Kinky,” Billy replied with a smirk until it was wiped off of his lips by a pillow hitting him square in the face.
“Get out! Get out, get out, get out!” Steve yelled, pointing a finger towards the exit of the room. When that didn’t work he decided to take things further, He hopped up off of the couch and rounded it to get to Billy who looked a little scared if he had to admit.
“Be gone man hoe, out of my steam!” he declared, placing two hands square on Billy’s shoulders and pushing harshly. The man was like a brick wall but when Steve was determined he could do anything. Slowly Billy started giving more and more trying not to laugh at the ridiculous declaration as he was pushed painfully slow out of the room.
Steve pushed and he pushed until finally Billy was out of the living room. He made a mad dash to the couch before his husband could even think of doing anything else.
“Sorry guys, but I think I’m gonna have to cut today's class short, but I’ll see you tomorrow,” He spoke quickly before Billy began walking back over with a large grin on his face.
“Billy, no!” He pleaded before Billy practically pounced on him, trapping him against the couch under his own body weight. He wanted to be mad, but he just couldn't’ find the strength to. Before anything got too far past PG he reached out with his arm that wasn’t trapped underneath Billy’s body and closed the laptop.
“Class dismissed!”
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THE JAMMIEDODGER VIDEO ABOUT JK ROWLING (as recommended by a very polite anon)
so I go point by point after the cut but in short: they should read more feminist theory, they are lying, they are not as coherent as they think they are but they make some points, notably about the rapid onset gender disphoria that’ll need to check in more depth later on.Most of their sources were unfortunatly either on points I already knew or already agreed with.  Also that woman ( the “cis” one not Jammy), should really stop thinking being born a woman is somehow a privilege.
So the video starts by saying three things I agree with :
1)      Biological sex is definitely real
2)      Women’s right and girls’ right need to be protected
3)      JK Rowling is entitled to like support and write whatever she wants
 So far so good. Except it then goes on to say that TRA agree with that. Now maybe most do but at least some don’t. Don’t lie to me, Jammie Dodger.  
They then go on to misrepresent what our problem with “cis” is. Are they going to spend that entire video about trans people at destination of the non educated on that subject without ONCE defining what a trans person is? They are aren’t they ?
see earlier but given the number of people who are saying “sex is a social construct” and “sex is a spectrum” and “a neovagina is just like a vagina”, you may at least put a “most” in your statement here. Anyway this is not the problem we have, we wouldn’t even discuss this if it weren’t for the brain dead morons who argue with us about it.
“my biological sex -the one I was assigned at birth- was female” 
is Jammie here telling me he knows biology exists but his sex WAS female ? It still IS female. You’re a female. Moreover you cannot say I know biology exists and I was assigned a sex. The entire “assigned sex” is a refutal of biology by implying doctors choose a sex for you. This is stupid.
Strawman. They are saying radfems have no argument against “gender identity is a real thing”. The lies. Gender identity is not a real thing it’s just gender stereotypes and gender is a tool of oppression for women, it’s sexist garbage. I also notice they don’t define gender identity, this is starting to be a pattern, this video is aimed to normies but the only thing they defined so far is terf.
They did 5 fucking minutes on “transpeople know that biological sex exists” I am already exhausted.
Oh my bad they defined “gender identity” as “the gender you know you are”. THANKS A BUNCH THIS IS SO HELPFUL . Define gender please I beg of you.  
“They know they are a man but their bodies don’t match” 
okay so you agree that man and woman are words that depends on your body right? Since it can “match”, they are not gender then ? Nevermind he then says that man is their gender identity. This is not making sense.
Ooooooh the floating head analogy never heard that one before, this is a stupid one because gendies also argue that their gender is innate (unless Jammie here specifically says he doesn’t think that I’ll act as if he agrees with that statement) so the good question would be if you were born as a floating head and never even had a body would you still be a woman? And my answer here as well as plenty of people I suspect is “men and women don’t make sense if we’re born as floating heads what are you on about?”
“transwomen needs women’s right too” 
I know you think that is self evident but I’ll ask what exactly are the women’s right transwomen need. Abortion? Affordable periods product ? The right to have places free of male? oh wait. They are male so they can never have that can they ?
“so feminism also needs to believe in gender identity”
 because if we don’t our feminism is only for females and we exclude males. Notice how they didn’t continue their logic by saying how THIS feminism excludes transmen and nonbinary? Because it does, but guess who actually need the women’s right of abortion for exemple?
“transmen don’t need women’s rights” 
I FUCKING CANNOT YOU STILL NEED IT WTF ARE YOU ON ABOUT. OK I need them to define women’s right asap
“well JK Rowling said she supports trans rights”
 funny how you can understand how those words are not a proof that she in fact does but you still started your video by “we support women’s rights !!!”
“adding [to Harry Potter] content that was LGBT+ friendly” 
she added things that were gay friendly. I don’t remember her adding trans characters.
“transphobic” = saying men can’t become women. Whoah. The hatred.
“the lack of belief [in gender identity] is what she wants protected”
 yes and ? Atheism, the lack of belief in a god, is protected. Gender identity existence only proof is some people saying it does exists, it is not a scientific reality in any way shape or form.
“His biological sex was previously female” 
BUT WE KNOW WHAT BIOLOGICAL SEX IS WE SWEAR; Damn they spend 7 minutes on “transpeople know biological sex exists” and then keep acting like they fucking don’t.
After that they point blank say that gender identity is more important than sex, having someone who passes as an exemple. What about transpeople who don’t pass? How much you bet this will never be discussed in this video.
Anyway they follow that with that : 
Tumblr media
Which is true but defining what a woman is does affect women actually (I know weird right)  so it’s completely irrelevant to the discussion here.
“When a large group of transpeople are telling you something is wrong please listen to them”
 please afford women the same courtesy. We are a large group of women saying males are not the fucking authority on what womanhood is but we are told to shut up. Listen.
“we cannot take the behavior of the minority [online abuse] and group it onto the majority” 
I agree with that statement but the majority still didn’t condemn the abuse. Honestly the people in this video did -just before saying HOWEVER but hey – but it is pretty rare to see TRA actually confronting the people who abused JK Rowling online, they cheered them on more than anything.
It is very telling how they spend more time in this video saying people collecting screenshots of the abuse JK Rowling suffered were “not cool” than the TRA giving them a bad name by actually abusing JK Rowling. They even say Jammy was also insulted online so TERF and TRA are as bad as each other right ?? Being called delusional or idiot is not the same as death threats sorry Jammy. (I doubt the “freak” one was from a terf tbh but even then, this is not even comparable) I mean didn’t you get at least one person saying they were going to kill you ? Because I did, and I have ,like, 200 followers. I find very weird that the woman here said “I received sexual assaults threats and this is as a cis woman!” as if women weren’t the primary target of sexual assaults threats. Yeah it’s the misogyny. What’s new.  You really should stop thinking you are somehow priviledged even when you are being sexually threatened ffs. What gender ideology does to a mf.
 “neither of these sides are innocent” 
oh come on, you cannot possibly means that the men who gave you sexual threats were terfs, this is ridiculous, you are just trying to excuse and diminish what people did to JK as per fucking usual.
 “persistent low level harassment” 
it hasn’t stayed low level tho. Stop trying to say you and JK are receiving the same abuse it’s embarrassing.
JK Rowling’s essay having real life effects on policies for exemple has an element of thruth ,even tho we disagree on wether or not this can be a good thing but your are deluding yourself if you think people assaulting transpeople are the sort of people whose views are in any way influenced by feminists. This is laughable. Also please stop with the guilt tripping, we are not responsible of the mental health of transpeople, we are not their therapists, sorry.
I love how they implied that the guy who forced GNC kids to behave as their assigned gender would somehow give a letter of thanks to a feminist. This is implying “terfs” want the same things as this maniac which is just a straight up lie, terfs absolutely adore GNC people and are mostly GNC themselves.
“What rights of women are actually being eroded by the inclusion of transwomen ?” I am glad you asked !! Well apart from the freedom of speech since “terfs” are losing their jobs and being deplatformed because of this, we have the inherent dangers of replacing sex by gender in what the law protects : https://www.aclu.org/blog/speakeasy/firing-mom-because-shes-breastfeeding-sex-discrimination this is a link to a story about a woman who was said being fired for breastfeeding was not sex discrimination because men can lactate. Do you see the problem ? Moreover there is quotas for women in politics etc….Women fought for their quotas and now males can have them, who do you think an employer would prefer someone who probably will be pregnant at one point or someone who never will ? and let’s not forget the right for women to have women only places :Women in prison are raped by the trans identified males in it .
“I cannot think of a single right that is removed from me”
 good for you maybe you should have actually researched radfems talking point before doing this video ? Your ignorance is not a good argument.  
“transwomen can use the women changing room because they are women” 
you keep saying that but apart from “they feel like women” you didn’t explain how they are women. This is the basis of this entire video and you never explained.  Also allowing any person who say they are women into the women’s changing room does not only allow transwomen does it ? It also allows lying freaks.
“You can protect cis women’s rights and transrights simulteanously” HOWWWWWWWWWWW, please tell me how to keep female only spaces (women’s right) while saying TWAW (transrights apparently according to them).
“transwomen can be the victims and cis women can do the voyeurism” 
true but did you forget we actually live in the real world and in that one males are much more likely to be sexually harassing people than women ? It is a brazen form of lying to tell women that since theoretically other women can also be creeps they don’t have to worry about males. Get a grip. Live in the real world for a change.
“It doesn’t reference transwomen but men pretending to be women” 
apart from “they feel it” you still haven’t told us what the difference is. You are aware nothing from an outside perspective distinguishes the two right ??
“there is no evidence of men pretending to be trans to enter female only spaces” and how would you know they are pretending ? This is the same problem again and again, if you define transwomen as men who feel like women then there is absolutely no way of verifying someone really is trans. And that’s a lie anyway since we do actually have proof of that happening?? There was that video making the room on radblr a while ago of a clear male pissing in the women’s bathroom saying (lying) that he was trans.
Yeah actually radical feminists would accept transmen in their bathrooms, but it’s not an easy question with an easy answer to know how to check they really are transmen. Although notice how they are again only talking about transpeople that passes ? I would feel safer with Jammy in my toilets than Hannah Mouncey for exemple :
Tumblr media
  That is so obvioulsy a man in a dress.
“ If a transman with a beard and penis and balls can go into a women’s toilet and that is deemed okay because of his biological sex what is to stop a cis man from doing the same”
 I am sorry but are you saying a transwoman cannot have a beard and penis and balls ?????????? This is incredibly transphobic of you, you said that gender identity Is just feeling like a gender, how exactly does that mean transwomen cannot have beard ? If you want to know, radfem are arguing for a third toilet for transpeople, that’s our solution. What is yours ?
 Ok the next part is racist I’ll skip that thanks
On accusation of TERFery intimidating people and organizations “we haven’t seen these” again, your ignorance is not an argument, I am posting these on Tumblr where cryptoterfs arer numerous. Why do you think that is ?
Are they seriously saying Nike and addidas “accepted” transpeople because they “realized it was the right thing to do” ?????? Those companies employs slaves IN WHAT WORLD DO YOU LIVE IN??
“trying to make transpeople look crazy” 
the clownfish things were said online by real transpeople. We don’t need to invent thing to make transpeople look crazy, if there is  large enough group some people belonging in that group will say stupid shit .
“We support these rights”
 when speaking about women victims of abuse. This is a lie, the Vancouver rape shelter relief is often targeted by transactivists, recently a gofundme for it was cancelled because of transactivists, they are quite litteraly stealing money from raped women. This is not a small, inconsequential part of transactivism. 
“The trans-inclusionist views expand the meaning of women to include transwomen”
 It doesn’t expend shit actually since it excludes transmen and non-binary. If anything it reduces it.
They go on to say that transwomen deserves protection as women because of their murder rate. It doesn’t explain how being seen as women will help them here and anyway it’s a bold lie considering their murder rate is actually quite low. They also fail to consider how depriving transmen and nonbinaries of those same women’s right might be a problem.
Again they make the distinction between transwomen and men pretending to be transwomen without a way to identify which is which. This is starting to get repetitive and tedious. The problem is not that all transwomen are predators is that there is no way to see a difference until the predators acts, until a woman gets hurt, so accepting transwomen is accepting predators and saying transwomen feelings are more important that the women being hurt because of this. I disagree. The tiny tiny percentage of transpeople doing bad things is actually the same percentage as men doing bad things. If your argument could be used to say women only spaces shouldn’t exist at all because not all men are dangerous maybe you should reconsider your argument because I will not reconsider women’s right to have female only spaces.
“If you push transwomen out of female only spaces you push transmen in”
 Yes. I don’t even see where the problem is here.  Now why don’t we analyse the fact that if you push transwomen into female only spaces you push transmen out of them ? I don’t think transmen belongs in men’s prisons, do you ?
“Transpeople don’t dispute biology and don’t impact how female only diseases are treated” 
eat shit. They do impact this, every woman trying to say “female biology” get shit thrown at her faster than you can blink, stop lying to me Jammy. Do you think I would get called a bleeder, a fetus carrier, a motherfucking birthing body if transactivism wasn’t trying to erase sex ? Don’t you think the sentence “men can have periods” is not eroding biology ? Fuck off
Back to JK, Jammy is saying her disabling comment on her blog was not conductive to a conversation, I have to salute the straight face he says it with because do you really think a nice educated conversation would have taken place on JK Rowling’s essay ? They flooded her children’s book tag with porn for fuck sake.
“Thre is no explosion in young women who wishes to transition” sources ? Because it does seem to be true :https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/jsm.12817
“the detransitionners rate is actually really low” hard to know but most people who transitioned did it not so long ago since transgender is a recent trend, we will have to wait and see to have a more robust number. But maybe they are right on that one, this is not going to be the one argument that changes my views unfortunately. 
“Does that mean we should stop people from getting plastic surgery then ?” 
lol you don’t know the radfem stance on plastic surgery do you ?
“There is more significant transphobia than homophobia” 
sources ? Because transition is used as converstion therapy in Iran so it is at least untrue in one country. 
“If transmen transition to escape womanhood why is there transwomen ?” 
You really didn’t research this did you ? the radfem answer is that transwomen are either gay men who have gender disphoria OR AGP (autogynephiles) read this if you want to learn more about it: https://grahamlinehan.substack.com/p/the-elephant-in-the-room
“why would people who have male privileges choose to give that up” 
you are assuming they lose their male privileges but I will need sources on that because most transwomen do not pass and are treated more as special men than as women.
“We have already shown you that transphobia is far more rife and damaging than homophobia” 
did I miss that part ? When ? You just said that ? Without backing it up ?
“anti trans narratives constantly contradict itself” 
No we do not, we are feminist so we OF COURSE we analyse men and women differently, this is an issue of gender which radical feminism posit as an hierarchy, trying to explain transwomen and transmen with the same arguments is doomed to fail because they were not equal in their relation to gender to begin with. Do you think black people trying to pass as white do it for the same reasons white people try to have more black features ? Of course not.
“What am I a lesbian or a homophobe ?”
 You are both, you are a lesbian in denial with a deep case of internalized misogyny and homophobia. You know yo can be both sexist and a woman right ? Well it’s the same here.
I heard “Simone de Beauvoir” and I knew they were going to be really fucking stupid with that “One is not born a woman but rather becomes a woman” quote and THERE IT IS! Please read the book. She is not saying male can become women if they try hard enough, she is saying basically the same thing JK Rowling’s quote said which is that “womanhood” as it is forced on women is alien and not natural and the point is that we should not accept it, it’s a feminist quote on femininity and I am so sick of men using it to say that they are women.
Transactivists acting as if sex recognition patterns don’t exists is exhausting so I won’t comment on “nobody checks if you have XX chromosomes before passing you over for a promotion” other than to say : passing over for promotions happens a lot when women are pregnant and after giving birth stop acting as if misogyny is unrelated to our reproduction capacities it is fucking insulting.
“transwomen will support [fights against tampon tax and FGM] too” 
FGM was a bad choice here considering transactivists tried to stop a bill against FGM .  I will need sources here actually since I never seen a transwoman fighting for women’s right in my life.
Ok I let a lot passes here because I’m tired but we are 48:40 in the video and fuck you “intersectional feminism” is not about males. It was for black women. It is not reductionist to say women are people with a vagina, this is just a definition, and one that applies to 50% of the population at that, there is litteraly no definition of woman that includes more people than that.
Imagine thinking “women are people with vagina” is reductionist but not calling women “vulva owners”. Please , I am begging for coherence.
“transwomen who experience greater abuse than cisgender women will ever experience” . 
This is revolting. I don’t have any other words. I am glad this is the end of the video because I would have stopped immediately if this was at the start. What abuse transwomen can experience than ciswomen cannot ? Because I would have thought forced pregnancy was horrific but maybe this doesn’t compare to being misgendered?
“most people are comfortable with transwomen going into women’s bathrooms” https://www.bsa.natcen.ac.uk/media/39147/bsa34_moral_issues_final.pdf
It says 13% of women are at least uncomfortable with sharing bathroom with transwomen, why are we ignoring their wishes? Because 0.1% of the population wants to ?  Whatever, the really interesting thing in this study is that for this question they defined “transwomen” as someone who has gone through all the steps to become a woman aka someone with surgery. I find extremely misleading that this is used for bathroom bills which defines transwomen as male identifying as women. Do you think the numbers would be the same if they specified the transwoman in question still has a penis ? Which is the case for most transwomen btw?
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cityskout · 17 days ago
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thequietmanno1 · a year ago
Thelreads, Vigilantes 41, Replies Part 2
1) “Don’t tell me you’re fucking posing after striking that enemy down like a goddamn anime protagonist? For real? Oh my fucking god...”- Well, part of the pose does seem to be him catching the phone he tossed up in the air prior to his light speed attack- seems that he likes doing that as a sort of impromptu stopwatch timer to keep his edge up, accomplishing his task before the object hits the ground- and the other seems to be him holding onto his cap so his fast movements don’t blow it off his head, but otherwise, yeah. 
I said before that Scarface is kinda like an action movie director in how he handles his side of the operations, and this right here is where the hero emerges victorious from the one-on-one fight against the villain every supporting character tried their best shot at and failed to defeat- gotta end that sick fight scene with a cool pose and a one-liner for the kids to squee over.
YOU’LL REGRET THAT HUBRIS EVENTUALLY, THAT’S FOR SURE… BUT FOR NOW, PLEASE IGNORE HIM.”- It’s more like, ‘underestimating his future potential’ than underestimating his current skillset. Scarface isn’t wrong that the current Koichi ‘isn’t all that’ as a fighter on his own, but he’s not looking at this in terms of Koichi being in the middle of a learning curve. He thinks that the current Koichi is the best he’ll ever be, unable to see the hidden potential within him that Knuckle did, and not really considering how their performance matches in terms of growth speed. Like All Might said once, different people have different rates of improvement. 
Scarface has been training with his quirk for years, and has so far only showcased one method of attack with it, even making it clear that he prefers to use his hands rather than experiment with the various different ways he could more efficiently use the quirk. He’s been focusing himself entirely upon combat to the point that he seems to have physically augmented his body to better lay on the beat down, and thinks nothing of killing his opponents if they cross the line of his ‘kill/don’t kill’ policy. Koichi, meanwhile, has only been training with his quirk’s potential for a few months at best, has already unlocked multiple methods of using it, and is overall far more varied in terms of using his quirk overall than Scarface, who’s specialised himself by only focusing on one aspect of his quirk- the combat potential- to best emulate his master’s usage of it, thus limiting himself by not really exploring the full possibilities of his power. Plus, his naturally non-confrontative personality means he isn't actively seeking to start a fight with other people, so his fighting skills are understandably below par because he doesn't want to hurt other people, unlike Scarface, therefore his actions in actual fights thus far have mainly been about avoiding getting hit at all until recent events forced him to shape up this time.
Koichi’s combat abilities are way lower than his right now, yes, but at the same time, he’s also gradually expanding his overall arsenal and powerset every day, and becoming more of a well-rounded asset in the field. Koichi’s combat potential is still growing, and by thinking this is the most he’ll ever achieve, Scarface is leaving himself wide open for a nasty surprise down the line
THAT WASN’T A BULLET, BUT IT WAS ALMOST IT. A GRAZING SHOT, BUT A SIGN THAT THIS DUDE ALSO AIN’T THAT MUCH HOT SHIT AS HE WISHED TO BE”- Overconfidence is still Scarface’s weakness. Despite improving himself from the last time he faced Phelps, he underestimated Octiod’s durability, and got another nick in the field of battle for his troubles. Thankfully, it’s not a weakness he seems to be looking to overcome, given how he maintains his confident attitude throughout his resulting beat down, merely accentuating his attacks with sheer, cold spite and suppressed rage towards Octiod’s refusal to ‘comply with the script’ and even damage the image he works so hard to maintain.
4) “HA HA, GET REKT McBEE, ADD THAT TO YOUR LIST OF SCARS, THAT’S GONNA LEAVE A MARK.”- He agrees with you. He’s not happy about that.
5) “Ooookay, I feel like he’s about to lose his shit, and that it won’t be fun to see. Oh this is about to turn ugly for our boy proto nomu over there, isn’t it? He’s gonna regret throwing that stone, right?”- Yeah, Scarface is much more of a direct threat than kuin was, but as a sort of balancing act, he’s also much less…stable than she was. He keeps it under a tight leash, but there’s a volatility to his actions and intentions that surpasses anything Kuin did. To her, it was mainly a job and a way to satisfy her desires. 
To him, it’s deeply, deeply, personal, and he won’t forgive you if you make him mad- like, seething mad, not hulk rage mad. Scarface keeps his anger contained mostly, but if you give him an excuse, he will focus the full force of it onto you, forced out in a tightly controlled yet precise manner like water being forced through a pressure hose, and with much the same effect on the human body.
6) “Alright, he’s really pissed after that. It didn’t even hurt- physically that is, because emotionally he just got roundhouse-kicked and hit his head on the counter on the way down.”- The thing about keeping your true nature tightly restrained like this is that, when you let it out of its cage, there’s no longer any restraint-period. When Scarface flips his opinion on somebody like this, he will try to kill them, and he won’t stop or be dissuaded otherwise unless the disadvantages outweigh the benefits- and even then, he’ll still hold a grudge and just wait for the next opportunity to finish the job. 
Octiod’s on his shit-list now, and once he puts a name on the list, it only comes off if the target’s dead or he is- no exceptions. Sure, he’s got other priorities right now, but offing Octiod just got added to the to-do list for him, and he won’t be letting go of that anytime soon.
AND SO AM I”- That ‘action director’ comparison wasn’t made lightly at all. The thing to understand about Scarface is that he’s always putting on an act, even when there’s nobody around to witness him doing so. He has this persona in mind about who he wants to be, and he’s always obsessed with creating and maintaining an ‘image’ about himself that he presents to the world, a role he so desperately wants to embody that he’s basically intentionally trying to get lost in character and ‘become’ that person for real. But, like any character portrayed by an actor, that person is a fake illusion, a mask that obscures the person underneath behind characterisation presented to the viewer to thrill and amaze them, at times acting at odds with how the actor themselves normally is in real Life. 
In an inverse of the ‘Mean Character, nice Actor’ trope, Scarface here puts on a chummy and affable personality, a cocky façade that he slips into easily in part because of the immense advantage his quirk bequeaths him, but also because the ‘role’ he’s playing is that of the ‘protagonist’- the one that moves the story forward, and whom the tale revolves around, and for whom victory is guaranteed in the end- so when anything challenges that perception, the mask crumbles and the real, ugly personae underneath comes to light. Him snapping at Octiod here isn’t just because he attacked his image- he’s like an actor who just had his crewmates go off-script and improvise a scene, and like a prima-donna, he can’t stand that- things are going to happen how he envisions them, with absolutely no exceptions, and if people won’t get in line with that, he’ll make them get in line, or remove them from the script entirely.
8) “DID HE JUST RIPPED OFF HIS SLEEVE JSUT BY FLEXING”- Interesting comparison between him and Koichi- like Koichi, his natural body apparently isn’t really suited to fighting up-close- or at least not with hulking brutes like Octiod here- despite his tireless training efforts to master and improve his close-combat skills, but whereas Kochi can always rely on the Knuckledusters left behind for him, and build up and improve himself in other ways before relying on them as a fall-back method, Scarface here, in keeping with his obsession to ‘become’ his idealised particular image, instead apparently used  biological enhancements and presumably some other illegal experimentation with the VF to forcibly make himself capable of handling guys like Octiod like a literal Punching bag, in a way that clearly can’t have been painless or pleasant for him. 
But, given how he just shrugs off the pain from his self-inflicted injuries and the damage he did to himself, it seems like he considers his image worth whatever pain he has to go through to fit his self-perception of who he wants to be. Koichi has no idea who he wants to be, and thus naturally grows into his role at a slow and steady pace. Scarface has an ‘exact’ image of who he wants to be, and he’ll endure any pain he has to in order to reach that desired goal as soon as possible- Almost literally the tortoise and the hare, except it’s like the tortoise also had the ability to fly and the hare  was running itself ragged trying to become ‘perfect’ by its own standards.
I COUNTED 8 OF THEM”- All credit to Octiod. He took that barrage and still didn’t die from it, even when his opponent near-literally broke or dislocated his arms trying to kill him. His biological enhancements may have cost him his human form, but right now, his enhanced toughness is the only reason that he wasn’t turned into a  bloody puddle on the street- if it had been the Hota brothers, or anybody with the average physical durability equivalent to, say, Phelps, they would probably have exploded into chunks from that. Scarface doesn’t hold back once you get on his bad side.
WHAT THE FUCK DUDE”-  An interesting Contrast to Izuku’s own arm-destroying stunts. Izuku doesn’t let his crippled body slow him down because there are people around who need to be saved, thus his willpower keeps him going even when it would have been a really good idea for him to stop. Scarface, meanwhile, is going this far only for his own self-satisfaction, thus whilst he’s willing to go as far as destroying himself to tear his hated target down, his body’s physical limits are the only thing really restraining him at this point. There’s zero hesitation or regret in his mannerisms for what he’s trying to do, and the fact that he can’t do what he wants because his body can’t yet physically keep up with his will just makes him madder, because it’s further proof that he’s not ‘perfect’ and reaching his desired image yet. 
They’re both technically insane, but Izuku’s insanity is all ultimatly selfless and for the sake of others, whereas Scarface’s narcissism and self-focus just re-inforce the ugliness and madness that he hides underneath his scar. Both of them will happily sacrifice their bodies to achieve their goals, but Scarface cares only about achieving his own desires over all others, which in turns makes him more ferocious and difficult to deal with. There’s nothing else in this world he values more than himself, and if you somehow manage to disrespect him, or cross him for whatever imagined slight he feels is against him, he’ll literally tear himself to shreds if it means tearing you apart in the process. There’s no reasoning with a man this far gone- there’s only putting him in the ground, or getting put there yourself- and whilst he may have improved massively, Koichi is far, far away from being able to take the necessary mind-set needed to combat Scarface, which bodes poorly for him. 
Koichi’s idealism might be his strongest trait as a hero, but there’s times when even Izuku put his idealism aside to deal with people who needed to be stopped, no matter what, like Stain, Muscular or Overhaul. People who couldn’t be reasoned with, who had to be physically stopped because they couldn’t be mentally talked down from their current course of action. Koichi can barely avoid stopping random people brawling in the street by making himself the target of their aggression, there’s no way he’s remotely ready for the kind of life or death confrontation a clash with Scarface would bring.
JESUSFUCK”- Now that he’s ‘stopped acting’ the real Scarface gets to rear his true personality- a remorseless killer, unburdened by feeling of guilt or empathy for his targets, who holds onto a no-killing rule only because it’s convenient for him, and who is willing to get brutal and vicious with people who ‘don’t get the memo’- even pushing himself to the point that I think his arms had multiple fractures from him basically punching a brick wall into submission and he merely got pissed he wasn’t good enough to blast through that wall even going all-out. There’s zero reasoning with him if he’s ‘pushed’ this far, and given how little it took to actually set him off, he’s also frighteningly unstable, even when he’s in his ‘affable’ personality mask. 
All it takes is for one crossed line and he goes from being cocky and aloof, to quiet and murderously focused on ending you. There’s something intimidating about that bare-faced intensity, that clarity of will that comes from having zero doubt in your actions. He decided he was going to kill Octiod, and when his first attempt failed he immediately tried again with the most efficient method he could to try and kill him there and then- No hesitation, no bargaining, just him laying out the facts and getting ready to lay out a corpse. 
Scarface doesn’t care about the bigger picture the VF is making with the trigger Villains, so long as it serves his own needs, similar to Kuin treating it as a part-time job, but if he encounters something on the job that upsets him, his switch will be flipped, and he’ll throw all reasoning out the window, save whatever brainpower he needs to plot your murder in the fastest and most brutal manner possible.
NOPENOPENOPE”-Yeah, Scarface is F***ing Insane. There could be a better way of putting that, but he’s just so Batshit crazy that anything else doesn’t really seem to sum it up quite enough. Unlike Kuin, whom was more or less sane and controlled in her actions through learning and assimilating the memories of Tamao, only really devolving into crazed insanity towards the end because Knuckleduster was intentionally causing her mental anguish in order to re-awaken his baby girl kept trapped inside her own head with Kuin, Scarface seems more like a ranging maniac who started out crazy and learned how to act sane in order to get what he wanted out of the world. 
If enough things don’t go according to plan, or how he envisions the outcome happening, his tenuous self-control will slip, and the psycho hiding under the scar comes to the forefront, and when that happens, he’s going to try his damndest to kill somebody, no matter what damages he has to sustain in the process.  If he casts away the mask he puts up for the world to see, he’s already cast away the most important thing to himself, and thus the only reason he has to show restraint around others.
13) “OH FUCK NO KOICHI GET AWAY FROM THAT PSYCHO I DON’T CARE HE’S YOUR BRTOHER JUST RUN”- Once again, Koichi shows up and accidentally saves a villain in the process of being murdered. First Soga, now Octiod. This might start becoming a habit with him. Of course, if it does, it might just tick off Scarface enough that Koichi crosses the ‘kill/don’t kill’ list for him.
HE TALKS MAD SHIT BUT EVEN HE WOULDN’T BE ABLE TO TAKE DOWN ALL THOSE DUDES ON HIS OWN”-Well, so far his plans somewhat involve sticking to the shadows and not allowing the heroes to get a lock on him or where he’s been, therefore sticking around and getting spotted by a pro hero will help draw their attention to whatever experiments he’s running on behalf of the VF through their trigger villains, he already got the sample he needed, and was basically wasting time trying to kill a beaten opponent, and most importantly, I’m pretty sure he fractured or dislocated his arms multiple times from beating Octiod in his mindless frenzy, so he was severely handicapped and not ready for a pointless fight with a pro hero-especially when he couldn’t guarantee he’d with in his current condition. 
One thing about Scarface is that he always tries to set up the situation to he’s got a good chance of winning beforehand, such as having the crab mechs ready to turn against the heroes on the scene during the police sting. Having a fight right there and then when he wasn’t ready for it isn’t his style, so he’s much rather stick to the shadows until he was ready and waiting for a fight on his terms.
DADZAWA STRIKES AGAIN”- Hey, he owed Koichi one for saving him from Octiod almost sending him into his non-canon early grave, and this way, he gets even with Koichi without actually acknowledging to his face that he’s doing him a solid, which is exactly the way Aizawa like it.
16) “YEAH AIZAWA, THAT’S THE FACE I’D TO HIM IF I WAS THERE AND I HAD A FACE RATHER THAN BEING A DISEMBODIED VOICE TALKING THROUGH THE INTERNET.”- Koichi needs a teacher to properly teach him what the hell he should be doing if he wants to be an effective vigilante, but since Aizawa’s not a teacher, he has no obligation whatsoever to give this illogical kid any aid whatsoever, and will limit himself solely to make sure he doesn’t get a fatal case of foot-in-mouth disease around any nearby cops. This will in no way change down the line as Koichi keeps being spectacularly bad at being a hero around Aizawa, providing him with numerous reasons to properly teach the kid how to do what he’s doing right… @thelreads
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folkloredeluxe · a year ago
Summary of Ringer Dish - ‘1989’ | Every Single Album: Taylor Swift
Hosted by Nora Princiotti and Nathan Hubbard
the first thing to be noted is that there are very less albums that exist that are as unifying from generation to generation as 1989, it is a phenomenon, and generational in its own right. it was hugely represented as an 80′s album but now 7 years later it feels less like that and feels more current, more timeless. while the making, taylor is excited about becoming independent, in her previous albums, each song has a deep, rich meaning but 1989 is more like a party album. 1989 tour was a huge part of the album’s success with all the artists that were invited, including all the the ads and partnerships, chart records, interviews and more. it is silly to quantify it with metrics
during red tour, moms were waiting in parking lots for their daughters and friends but during 1989 tour, moms were in the stadiums enjoying, and couples etc. 1989 expanded her demographic massively and goes to show how huge it is. 
it was a rebirth for taylor. she was crushed when red lost aoty at the 2014 grammys but you can see that she always listens to criticisms. red has a million different sounds, its not comprehensive and its not sonically cohesive but with 1989, taylor makes sure to make it sonically cohesive. welcome to new york having the lyric “its a new soundtrack i could dance to this beat forevermore” harkens to born in the usa album, and is a palate cleanser. she does what she said she never would and its significant.
in all her interviews, she talked about 80′s music and her listening to those songs. she set that narrative and the initial reception was “wow 80′s” but actually, it feels timeless, it doesn’t sound anything like the songs on the charts back then. new york times wrote a piece called “farewell to twang” and in it, they said “by making pop with almost no contemporary reference, miss swift is aiming somewhere even higher than, a motive timelessness that a few pop stars even bother aspiring to” and that captures the whole album. it is inspired by 80′s but sounds nothing like ever made before.
the biggest song is blank space and it takes every sexist narrative and turns it around. its amazing how she showed how silly it was and there was no way she could be the person she portrayed in the music video. its not only a great song and mv but great fun for her to make. both nora princiotti and nathan hubbard did hear “starbucks lovers” and its was really fun that taylor embraced it and played into it.
in shake it off, taylor is playing the uncomfortable role of her being a cheerleader which goes back to her old music. it shows that she is not cool despite being Taylor Swift. both shake it off and blank space have similar “lol whatever” vibe but shake it off was ridiculous and general vs blank space being personal and more real. taylor just understand how to put lyrics in time signatures in songs. they love and think its funny how 2 musical geniuses put out an “empty calories” song, that is shake it off, and max martin went on to say that its the perfect pop song.
bad blood spawned off and started a lot of the squad stuff and by the end of the era the squad starts getting backlash but the bad blood situation would be better if the song was better. in fact, later she gets called out for phoniness because she says that anyone could be her friend but then all her friends were tall, beautiful, largely white supermodels, even lena dunham felt uncomfortable. taylor went one to even address it in her “30 things i learned before turning 30″ article for her cover of elle magazine in 2019.
nora princiotti says how she sees a lot of taylor posters at stadiums when she goes for football commentaries and its very cool and feels like she has female friend support while she is surrounded by men but those 1989 photos are bittersweet because of all the struggles she was going through and talked largely about in miss americana. it taught us what she had been going through and us understand the darkness while she is hitting the apex.
nathan hubbard points out how all you had to do was stay isn’t as heart-wrenching as her other track 5′s but does a good job as putting acroos the message that its over once you betray her. you hear more carefree independence in it. the lyric “drove us off the road” alludes that its about harry styles. also, the lyric “this was what you wanted” tells the person that they fucked up. overall, nathan hubbard doesn’t find it as moving. 
some of max martin’s work with other artists is redundant but that’s on the artists. he is the beatles in terms of production he influenced and she brought him material that changed him. the songs on the album have smaller circle of creators. taylor pushed max martin as much as he brought out a new facet of artistic creativity and sonic component to the songs and that’s why their partnership flourished as much as it did.
to nora princiotti, out of the woods sounds like tarzan. jack does too much on the song and the acoustic performance at the grammy museum is phenomenal but the production of the actual track is like nails on chalkboard. nathan hubbard loves the song and talks about the disoriented desperation in the vocals and how she just HITS you with the “do you remember?”.
nathan hubbard talks about the twitter meeting in taylor’s LA house and as she is leading the meeting, she said that she has recorded her best music and she’s gonna change fully and went on to play shake it off and blank space for the whole team of people there. she was certain it would be huge and her confidence was impeccable. nathan hubbard says that “she’s a force of nature, she’s one of those people and they are just a forcefield of superhuman-ness” and people melt when they meet her and they’re like “shit its Taylor Swift” but she’s a hugger and makes them believe she is real which is very sweet.
for nora princiotti, the biggest easter egg is the title style. just like out of the woods, it was sonically written without melody and word. there were some swedish guys that max martin was working with who had written for themselves emulating daft punk, who won over her at the 2014 grammys, and taylor loved the guitar and this was the first time she was wrote over a track. its an amazing song. they both would say yes to a relationship in one second if it ended in out of the woods, style and i know places. the harry styles experience via taylor swift songs leaves the listener feeling like this guy is wild. from a music standpoint leaves the relationship in the best place with longing and wistfulness. for nathan hubbard, it is “no its becky”. it shows that she is in the fandom and is in deep dark corners and she makes incredible business decisions.
according to nora priciotti, i know places is an amazing song as it goes from the minor key in the verses to the major key in the chorus and taylor takes away the serotonin rush again and again but gives it back too. with 1989, she gives us an insight in the making and she is one of the only people to do it. nora princiotti has heard the i know places memo so many times because it comes right after new romantics, which is her favourite song, and it often ends up in her spotify wrapped.
nora princiotti would cut bad blood because it has terrible lyrics and even kendrick lamar could only make it “meh good” which shows that its bad. other than that, it would be how you get the girl. nathan hubbard would keep the album as is and in fact would the 3 deluxe songs on the standard edition. it is an end to end experience and her best journey she’s created.
the title 1989 works and is perfect because of the rebirth thing and how taylor literally did that. 
nora princiotti’s internet tidbit is that a week before the album, an 8 second static sound on itunes canada under the name “track 3″ goes number 1 and it skips over shake it off and welcome to new york, which are both singles.
for nora princiotti, the peak taylor moment is tour mashup of enchanted/wildest dreams. its the idealized excitement of having a crush and looking back on a relationship comfortably, and taylor does the lizzie mcguire movie move with strutting down after ripping off the skirt. for nathan hubbard, its the listening parties. it plays a huge role in how viral the album was. it showed its for the fans and she’s a marketing genius while she stays grounded and puts immense trust in her fans. she is the biggest star able to create the perception of being small enough to bring you into her living room.
taylor won a battle with understanding what her music was gonna do and how appealing it was gonna be to people. she was mad at her label and in her billboard woman of the year speech, she even said that her label protested and she was called naive but when the records came in she wasn’t hailed as naive anymore. she went on to say to make your own decisions and not follow a man in a black suit. she was so huge that her catalogue was looked at by snapchat, facebook etc and you can see there is a rift here with the label. taylor is ceo of Taylor Swift Inc and people felt threatened by that but she is the one who made Taylor Swift and made herself famous.
wildest dreams feels like a sexy time song and its funny how its featured in a kids movie with jake gyllenhaal in it but it makes sense as its about looking back at a relationship from a secure place, and with jake gyllenhaal being a part of the movie, it is a power move.
during the 1989 era, taylor also takes off her music off of spotify and writes the apple music letter as she is planting her flag for artists rights. big companies like apple are changing their policies to not piss of taylor.
for nora princiotti, the best song is new romantics and while its not a skip for nathan hubbard, its not the best. his argument is that its the only single that does not have a multi-platinum certification and structuring of lyrics over beats and the melody is not the best for nathan but nora princiotti is sold on the sigh, which is the best taylor sigh, and also on it being ironic because of the opening lyrics.
with the ryan adams version of 1989, he took her work and made it his own without her permission and that’s disgusting despite the paycheck that taylor might’ve gotten. its also disgusting how pitchfork reviewed his version but not hers and how the narrative that its “serious music because ryan adams covered it” is floated around. it is more cringy and dark than the cover of enchanted by adam young.
in wildest dreams, taylor talks about sex which goes onto rep and bad bllod’s dark, revenge sound should is not worthy enough to be mentioned. 
for nathan hubbard, the best lyric is “10 months sober i must admit just because you’re clean don’t mean you don’t miss it” and the song clean is one of the best. its significant how the meaning of the song expanded when she used it while talking about her sexual assault on rep tour. for nora princiotti, it is “cause we’re young and we’re the reckless, we’ll take this way too far”.
taylor poured so much of herself into this album and reached the destination she has been thinking of since the start of her career. you can’t even think what could be next for her next step in her career. this is the best collection of her songs, front to back. it is his favourite ts album in hindsight now that he knows the behind the scenes. what is significant is the week between famous by kanye west being released and taylor winning aoty at the grammys for a second time and her speech being hailed as a significance of feminism, and how she knows she is on the edge of being over-exposed or rather maybe she is over-exposed.
grade given to the album: A
ps - i might have missed a thing here and there but this was basically the gist of the whole podcast
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emma-what-son · a year ago
(Echee post) Did Emma Watson actually graduate from Brown University? Special treatment at college?
Posted on November 8, 2015
*PS this is a work in progress, will take a few days to get it in order...so apologies if it is incomplete Intro Emma has been talking about how important education is to her since she was 10. Even during the first interviews for Harry Potter promotion, back in 2001 for Philosopher's Stone, she was adamant about going to college. She's continuously said how important college/education is throughout the Harry Potter promotion years, but does what she say match up with what she actually did? She was playing along with that bullshit "Classy, educated" image she and her PR team (like her publicist Luke) have crafted for her, the one where she claims she is exactly the same as Hermione, the beloved character from the Harry Potter franchise. Course though, she's contradicted herself on that multiple, multiple times - sometimes saying she's exactly like Hermione, and other times claiming they're extremely different. There was some extremely strange stuff going down with Emma's Brown University Education though....as will be revealed below. And you'll have to start wondering if she actually did graduate or how much, how extensive and enormous, was the amount of special, unequal treatment she got for being a celebrity and a feminist (College campuses love pandering to social justice warriors/feminists - part of it is a natural love for them and another part is Obama forcing them to through the OCR and Title IX) Emma's Education Emma entered Brown University the Fall of 2009. Brown is a private, 4 year university/college in America. Emma entered Brown as an international student studying on an F-1 Visa. Okay Emma didn't do much BS during her first 3 semester (Fall 2009, Spring 2010, Fall 2010) at Brown and seemed to study there like most normal students, but it's after the first three semesters that things started getting extremely strange and Emma started telling a whole bunch of lies. Emma constantly raved about how awesome college is and gave every single impression she was going back to Brown in Spring 2011. getSurrey November 2010: getSurrey: Will you carry on acting? Emma: I will keep on acting. I’ve just been in a film called My Week With Marilyn. I’ve just finished shooting that. But finishing university is a priority. But I hope I do lots more things. I don’t really want to be put in a box – just yet. I’m not exactly sure. University Magazine Interview by Colin Turner (November 2010?): (Okay just note that this interview came out in June/July 2011 for Harry Potter Deathly Hallows Part 2 Promotion, but Emma mentions in the interview she just finished filming My Week with Marilyn, which happened in November 2010. Uni magazine is this student run magazine, so I'm assuming they don't do monthly issues (don't have the money/people for that) so it takes them several months to release an issue.) Colin Turner: You’ve gone to university, obviously, do you imagine taking up acting in the future or are you just seeing what happens? Emma: I just did a movie, finished something last week, “My week with Marilyn”, which is exciting. No, I think I’ll just keep doing things. But my education is my number one priority at the moment and everything else comes around that really. Parade Magazine Interview November 2010 (Emma Watson's Campus Confidential, interviewed by Jeanne Wolf): "I get some amazing offers to act, and sometimes it’s hard to say, “No, I’m going to stay here and do my homework.” People are like, “What do you mean she’s not available?” I may do some theater next summer, but this college experience is really important to me, and I won’t give it up for anything. I’m not going to school just for the academics–I wanted to share ideas, to be around people who are passionate about learning."
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Echee says: Okay, notice how in November 2010 and even right up until January 17, Emma claims/gives the strong impression she's definitely going back to Brown University for the Spring 2011 semester. Big lol at the "this college experience is really important to me, and I won’t give it up for anything" two months before she did. By the way I have to mention the whole "Sorry for long absence from here - so much to do and so little time to do it in before I go back to school! Hope you're all ok x" was originally a tweet from Emma's @EmWatson twitter account but after she left university she deleted it lol. The picture I posted is from the official (that's why there's the blue check mark) Emma Watson Facebook page run by both Emma and her team. I guess she forgot to delete the facebook post after she deleted her tweet. For Spring 2011, the first day of classes was January 26 (per the academic calendar). Yet even at January 17, Emma stated she was getting ready to go back to school, hence her "so little time to do it in before I go back to school!" How the fuck can she be confused 1 week before classes start whether she's taking a personal leave of absence or not? Brown University Personal Leave of Absence Deadline
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Brown University 3 types of leaves of absence
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Okay, so of Brown University's three types of leaves of absence, Emma took personal. The deadline to declare you're taking next semester off is December 1, hence the Brown policy "If you are planning to take leave for the spring semester (Semester 2), you must declare by Dec. 1st." Either Emma was lying and trying to delay revealing she was taking time off to do her Perks of Being a Wallflower filming and BS Lancôme makeup and perfume work (very possible since she lies so much), or she was honestly undecided until right before, and thus requested special, unequal treatment that despite her missing the deadline, she should be allowed to take a leave of absence. Anyway I think it was special treatment from Brown allowing their publicity cow to get what she wanted. That means she was clearly lying in her January 17 tweet about going back to school.
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This from Amanda Foreman, Emma's interviewer, for Emma's Vogue Magazine July 2011 interview: Emma struggled valiantly to fit everything into her life, becoming increasingly exhausted, until over Christmas advisors at Brown suggested that she take a leave of absence, a turn of events Yates was not surprised by. Notice how the Vogue article says it was "over Christmas"....Christmas Break for Brown starts after December 1, the deadline. First off, unless Emma's doctor signed off on it, then it was NOT a medical leave of absence, and her advisors gave her special treatment since she missed the personal leave of absence deadline already. And You know December 25 is over 3 weeks after the December 1st deadline, so that's an amazingly long extension despite the severe, absolute terms of "You must declare by December 1". Anyway, wowza, off to a bad start....getting special treatment when you're quitting school temporarily. Well, whatever, it's equality feminist Emma Watson that we are talking about here. She runs her mouth off talking about feminism and equality and whatever but like most Western (usually Caucasian) privileged feminists, have no idea what she's talking about. Despite Brown's Spring 2011 semester starting at the end of January, Emma kept quiet about all this until March 7, 2011. She announced it on her website EmmaWatson.com (which is now defunct and shut down): Here's her statement on March 7, 2011: As you know, I love Brown and I love studying pretty much more than anything. But recently I've had so much to juggle that being a student AND fulfilling my other commitments has become a little impossible. I've decided to take a bit of time off to completely finish my work on Harry Potter (the last one comes out this summer) and to focus on my other professional and acting projects. I will still be working towards my degree … it's just going to take me a semester or two longer than I thought : ) Hope you are all well! Thank you for all your continuing support. Emma xx.
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On February 10, 2011 (well after the Brown semester had started), Emma confirms on twitter that she will be filming Perks of Being a Wallflower, which interfered with Brown (Brown school date ends May 20, Perks started filming May 9) and she had also already had various talks and was close to finalizing a deal with Lancôme. And she knew she would have to do some filming work for Lancôme commercials in the coming months. At this point clearly she was taking the semester off and yet she didn't announce it until March 7, 2011. Why'd she wait an entire month??? Why be so secretive of it? Just like how a week before classes started she was claiming she was getting ready to go back to school. And then why wait another month before she and Harry Potter publicist Vanessa Davies, release more details of this leave of absence? April 23, 2011 Press Release to Associated Press: LONDON (AP) — A spokeswoman for Harry Potter star Emma Watson says she will be transferring from Brown University to another university in the autumn. Vanessa Davies denied reports that the 21-year-old actress was "bullied out" of the Rhode Island university, saying there was no truth in reports by a number of online publications who cited classmates and "insiders". Davies said Saturday that Watson, who plays Hermione in the wizard movie series, has decided to pursue a different course not offered at Brown. She added that the star "has absolutely loved her time at Brown" and made many good friends there. Watson has recently taken time out of her studies to focus on her movie career. She has said that her first days in college were difficult. Davies did not identify the university Watson will be transferring to. Emma releases a statement April 30, 2011 on her website EmmaWatson.com (now defunct): I felt the need to let you all know the reason I took a semester off from Brown had nothing to do with bullying as the media have been suggesting recently. I have never been bullied in my life and certainly never at Brown. This "10 points to Gryffindor" incident never even happened. I feel the need to say this because accusing Brown students of something as serious as bullying and this causing me to leave seems beyond unfair. Please don't try and speculate about what I might do in September - no one can possibly know because I don't even know yet! Like my other fellow Brown students I am trying to figure out my third year and whether or not I will spend it abroad (this is common).
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If you wondered why Emma let Vanessa Davies announce the transferring information, instead of Emma just announcing it on her website a week later, it's because Davies is head of publicity at Harry Potter, so they were working out how best to frame the narrative that Emma is still a hardworking student. Don't forget, ~200 million is spent on Harry Potter marketing for HP Deathly Hallows and Davies is part of that team and one of the heads. Warner Brothers had to protect their little cash cow until the movies were over and Emma couldn't damage their profits. Also, the Harry Potter spokesperson, Vanessa Davies, says Emma will be "transferring" but from Emma's own message (and it's later revealed), she was actually only just studying abroad, not transferring. Weird. April 2011 Associated Press Interview: I just knew I was going to be beating myself up because I wasn't going to be able to be doing the best that I knew that I could at school or in my job. If I'd been getting B's or C's I would've been really upset. Wonderland Magazine February 2014: You realize you can't do everything. I really did think I could do it all - commute back to the UK for Potter filming and press, then go to Brown for finals, and keep up with my friends and family. You can't do it by the way. You do have to take breaks. It's how I became interested in meditation and yoga. I developed bedtime rituals. Elle Magazine UK November 2011: Of course Harry Potter got in the way, with its relentless round of reshoots and promotion, meaning that Emma had to temporarily halt her studies at the start of this year. "I was basically commuting across the Atlantic. Taking a semester out wasn't what I wanted to do, but I am still enrolled at Brown." Collider.com Interview with Steve Weintraub November 14, 2010: Well, I keep trying to but she keeps finding her way back into my life. I still have two movies left to promote, and they’re still cutting and editing Part 2 so I might have to do some more voice recording and other stuff for it, so it’s a very gradual goodbye. I’m being eased out of it gently........I mean we are special, it is Harry Potter. But we only had two days—I was being sarcastic (laughs). Sorry, I have to like fill that in because otherwise it will be written, “we are special!” (laughs). But yeah we only had two days to shoot it and we needed so much more time than that. So yeah, we have reshoots at Christmas. So it’s not over. It’s not over yet guys! Echee says: Okay, what? Notice how in Wonderland Emma claims she was busy filming for Harry Potter and her Elle Magazine interviewer claims the same. Harry Potter Deathly Hallows Part 1 and Part 2 filming ended in June 2010, and then for less than a week they had to reshoot the epilogue in December 2010 (they reshot around Christmas time, so Emma had already finished her Brown Semester). They re-shot the epilogue because the makeup/CGI made the actors look elderly instead of middle aged. Also, HP and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 premiere was July 15, 2011. Generally press begins one month in advance (though you might do some magazine interviews 3-4 months in advance). Emma was not seen at any events/doing press until beginning of July 2011. She was stuck in Pittsburgh doing Perks of Being a Wallflower filming (which took place from May 9 to June 29, 2011) Emma was also filming for and doing work on her Lancôme stuff in March/April. How can she claim she was too busy during the Spring 2011 school year (which was from January 26 - May 20) with Potter filming and promotion? She did none of that. The overlap she had with school and non-school stuff was Perks filming and Lancôme filming/promotion. It had NOTHING to do with taking time off for Potter. Plus she was negotiating those deals for Perks in January 2011 and for Lancôme in December-ish. There was ZERO reason for her to take time off from school, but she did, because she was desperate for fame/money, and she blamed it on Potter to hide the truth. PopSugar On-Set May/June 2011 Interview with
Shannon Vestal Robson: Shannon: Have you read the book, and do you feel pressure to live up to it? Emma: I read the script first and then I read the book. It was so funny because I read the script and I came back to Brown and I told my roommates that I've just read this amazing script, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, and my friends were like, "Oh, that's my favorite book. So jealous that you get to play Sam. If I was ever going to be in a movie, if I was ever going to play any character ever, it would be Sam. Notice how Emma mentions going back to Brown and asking her Brown roommates (Scout Willis, Madison Utendahl, etc.) about the book. So even during the Fall 2010 Semester, she was secretly thinking of filming Perks next year. And remember the interviews I posted above (from November 2010) where she claimed education and university came first? BS. She was already planning back in September 2010 (when she went back to Brown) about leaving next year. Also, remember this. Emma is claiming she was overworked with Brown and Potter stuff.....why in September 2010 was she looking at possible filming projects that would coincide with Spring 2011 Semester and Summer? If you claim you are overworked, why are you looking to add on more, extra, unnecessary work. She was also negotiating her Lancôme deal in December 2010 as well. Harry Potter Deathly Hallows Part 2 New York City Press Conference July 2011 (Listen at 17:30): "I'm going to Oxford, in the fall, to study English for a year. Just to explain, I haven't left Brown. I'm still enrolled at Brown, but I'm doing my third year abroad. Studying at home, abroad, for me. So I'll go back to the States to do my last year. I took a semester off but my A-Level credits actually count as an advance-place-me-out-a-semester so I'm no further behind, I'm still technically going into my third year. So, yeah, that's that." Something to remember is how Vanessa Davies (when the Harry Potter spokeswoman announced Emma was transferring from Brown in April)says "Watson, who plays Hermione in the wizard movie series, has decided to pursue a different course not offered at Brown". On Emma's EmmaWatson.com website in the FAQ section (undated), she says this: I was seriously torn as to whether to stay in the UK or go to the States as let's face it the UK has some of the best universities in the world. But, ultimately, I loved the course at Brown and really liked the idea of experiencing a different country and culture - and I must say I've never been happier, I absolutely love Brown. So strange how Emma + her Harry Potter spokesperson contradict each other. Emma claims she purposefully chose Brown (instead of staying in the UK for university) because she loved Brown's course, but then the spokesperson said the reason Emma is transferring is because Emma was sad that Brown didn't have the course she wanted to take. Emma reveals in the press conference that she will be studying English a Oxford. The thing is, Emma was and did graduate as an English Literature major. So Brown did have the course she wanted to take (which is what she earlier said). Okay so Watson claims here that despite taking an entire semester (3-5 classes) off, she's no further behind than the rest of her classmates. Damn, this girl must be such a hard worker to not fall behind. Still, is she telling the truth, lying as usual, or begging/threatening Brown University to give her special, unequal treatment? Fact checking Watson's "advance-place-me-out-a-semester" claim Brown University Office of the Registrar - The College, Advanced Standing Guidelines
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Anyway, there's a lot of information and I only parsed out a bit of it, but here's a quick summary. Basically, to graduate from Brown University, you need to take a minimum of 30 classes during your college years (can be at Brown or other approved colleges) and also a minimum of 8 semesters. Just to mention, A-Levels are the UK equivalent of American Advanced Placement (A.P.) courses or International Baccalaureate (IB) courses. Also, when Brown says "credits" they mean courses/classes. So, yes, Emma told the truth in that her semester standing is no further behind because her A-Levels counted as an extra semester. However! Emma is still behind in total number of classes taken because A-Levels do not count towards your degree requirement of 30 classes/courses. So she needs to take more classes per semester than the average person since she's behind.
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Vanity Fair May 2010 Interview: After shopping classes, she settled on European women's history, Ovid's Metamorphoses, and acting. “I think actually I'm the worst person in the class,” says Watson cheerily. So in Emma's first semester (that's the time period they're talking about), Emma took 3 classes - women's history (lol at this feminist class), Ovid, and acting. Brown requires students to take 3-5 classes a semester and so Emma took the bare minimum....kind of super lazy for someone so excited to get to college and start learning and whatever else she's been spouting for years. Okay, Brown's most basic, elementary requirement that ALL students have to fulfill to graduate is to take 30 classes. Since Emma only took 3 classes her first semester, that means 30 - 3 = 27 classes left to take over 7 semesters. Since Emma took a semester off but claims advanced standing, meaning she wants to graduate in May 2013 (September 2009 - May 2013), that means...... 27 classes over 6 total semesters. 27 / 6 = 4.5 classes per semester This I will go into detail in below, later, but just a heads up, Emma also took the Fall 2012 Semester off in order to film Noah. Because Emma had enough A-Levels, she did indeed get 2 semesters of advanced standing, but to graduate in 6 semesters means...... 30 minimum classes to graduate / 6 semesters = 5 classes a semester every semester Brown only allows you to take a max of 5 classes a semester and since Emma only took 3 classes her very first semester at Brown, it means it's impossible for Emma to graduate by May 2013 without special, unequal treatment....special treatment being either lowering the required 30 classes or allowing her to take 6 classes a semester, but come on, Emma is super lazy and unprofessional. Can you honestly see this girl doing 6 classes a semester when she lazily only took 3 classes her first semester? Freshman year is the easiest you know.... And their 30 classes requirement is their most basic requirement - to let her worm her way out of it would be absolutely disgusting.
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alagalaska · 2 years ago
It’s Only Hair, Right?
Summary: A Billy Hargrove imagine based on my experience of having Alopecia.
Pairing: Billy Hargrove x Fem! Reader (first person narrative)
A/N: I was having a bad day and this is something that just came out. I understand this may not be for everyone but I feel Alopecia (hair loss) is something that a lot of people have but never talk about, so I still wanted to post this even if no one reads it. If you do read it, please let me know what you think! P.S. there's a little gift from me to you at the end ;)
Warnings: Hair loss and the issues that come with it. There will be swearing, talk of negative self-image, brief non-graphic mention of needles (for the purpose of steroid injections which are given to try and stimulate hair regrowth), angst, fluff and Billy being very impulsive. 
Disclaimer: I acknowledge that not everyone will experience or be affected by Alopecia in the same ways, so please note that this is purely based on my own experience of having it. Please do not steal or copy my work in part or in whole.
Word count: 2,137
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“Stupid, fucking…” I grumbled frustratedly, around a mouthful of bobby pins, adjusting the small floral scarf I’d put in my hair to try and cover the back of my head.
I had been standing in front of the bathroom mirror for about fifteen minutes, attempting to put my hair up for work.
Billy came into the room, smiling that lopsided grin of his; swaggered up behind me and placed his hands on my hips. He dipped his head to kiss the side of my neck, blonde curls tickling my shoulder. He hummed against my skin as I continued jamming pins into my hair.
His eyes caught mine in the mirror, seemed to gauge my mood, then flicked up to the scarf in my hair. 
“This is nice,” he said, tugging gently at the bow I’d tied clumsily at the front of the scarf. 
“Don’t pull it, you’ll mess it up,” I snapped, jerking away from him. It came out a lot harsher than I’d meant it to. 
He dropped his hand, frowning. 
I sighed, placing the unused bobby pins down on the side of the sink, and turned to him. 
“Sorry, I just can’t get it to sit right. It’s pissing me off,” I said, gesturing at the back of my head frustratedly. 
He smirked at that.
“Never would have guessed,” he teased. His smile dropped again when he saw the obvious lack of amusement on my face. 
I untied the scarf and started yanking it from my hair; grasping at the pins I had so carefully placed, removing them one by one. I scattered them carelessly onto the rim of the sink with the others. One slid into the basin, stopping at the edge of the plughole where it balanced precariously.
Billy’s hands came up to rest over mine, stilling them. He turned me to him. 
“Hey,” he said. My eyes had fallen to the tiled floor, so he gently placed one hand under my chin, tilting my face until I was looking at him again. “You look beautiful.” 
I considered his words for a moment.
“Well, I don’t feel it,” I said, pulling away from him.
Billy’s jaw tensed. He didn’t say anything.
“Don’t know why they insist on hair up anyway,” I grumbled, turning back to face the mirror again. 
I turned my head to the side, taking in the state of my hair without the scarf covering it. 
A large section behind my left ear was almost completely bald, save for a few strands here and there. My fingers poked at the skin, which felt smooth and waxy to the touch.
There was a large patch behind my right ear too, which extended round to the back of my head and one final area at the back, towards the middle, which was clearly visible with my hair up. 
Unfortunately, with my work having a ‘hair up’ policy for female staff, it meant I couldn’t just hide it under the rest of my hair or throw on my favourite beanie hat, like I usually would when I wasn’t working. 
It was getting harder and harder to disguise it, the more my hair fell out. The patches were gradually getting bigger and, according to my dermatologist, could get a whole lot worse before they started getting better. 
I picked up the hand-held shaving mirror that was sat at the back of the sink and held it out behind me, angling it so that I could see the back of my head reflected in the larger mirror in front of me. 
Billy leaned up against the wall, watching me with a crease in his brow. Chewed on the inside of his cheek as I inspected the patches of scalp. 
“Any regrowth?” he eventually asked.
I sighed.
“No.” I tried not to sound too disappointed. It was probably too soon to tell anyway.
My last visit to the dermatologist had been a few days prior, for my final round of steroid injections. If it didn’t work this time, that was it; I’d just have to wait for the hair to grow back on it’s own, which could take anything up to two years. If it was even going to grow back at all, that is.
Billy had gone with me, of course. Had sat quietly in the corner, trying to maintain his supportive role as best he could, as he’d watched the discomfort on my face; powerless to help me. Had held me afterwards as I’d cried into the shoulder of his leather jacket.
My eyes were starting to sting now as I stared at the ugly patches of visible flesh. 
I generally tried not to brood about it too often, but sometimes it was hard not to be outwardly fed up; especially after enduring the unpleasant ordeal that was having numerous injections straight to the scalp, only for them to not work. 
Billy pushed away from the wall and stood behind me again. He prised the mirror from my hand.
“Come on, you better finish getting ready for work,” he said. He paused, then added, “Unless you wanna call in sick? We can order some takeout, watch a movie?” 
The offer was tempting, but we really needed the money for rent; and although my pay was crap, the tips were definitely worth it. 
“No, I should go,” I said regretfully. “Thanks though.” I glanced over my shoulder at him. Threw him a small smile, feeling bad for having been moody. 
“I liked the scarf,” he said, gesturing to where I’d abandoned it. He smiled encouragingly, holding the mirror up at the back of my head. “I’ll hold this so you can see what you’re doing.” 
It was easier to do this time, with Billy’s help. Only took me a couple more minutes to get the scarf positioned right and pinned in so that it was secure. 
I smoothed my palm over the scarf, checking it one last time in the mirror. I turned to Billy, chewing my lip. 
“What happens when it gets too bad to cover up?” I asked.
“I dunno, shave it off?” he answered, shrugging. He put his hands on my hips, pulled me in closer. Slid his hands into the back pockets of my work trousers. “You don’t need hair to be beautiful.” He pressed a kiss to my forehead then one to my lips; lingered there as he said, “Could shave the whole lot off and you’d still look smoking hot.” 
I laughed, despite myself.  
“Yeah, that’s easy for you to say,” I retorted. I took hold of one of his perfect curls, gently teasing it out straight between my fingers and let it go. Watched it bounce. 
“I’m serious,” he said, leaning back to look at me from arms’ length, with a frown. “It’s only hair, right?” He slowly cracked a smile, trying to encourage me to join in. When I didn’t, he quirked an eyebrow at me, “Right?” he prompted again.
I let out an exasperated sigh, rolled my eyes, but indulged him by replying anyway.
That had inadvertently become our motto regarding my hair. When it had originally started falling out, people would say that to me all the time, ‘It's only hair.’ As if that would make me feel better. 
It used to really annoy me, but then Billy had started saying it as a joke, and it had kind of stuck. He insisted that if he said it enough times, I actually might start to believe it. Unfortunately, that theory still had yet to be proved.
“Ok, I gotta go or I’m gonna be late,” I said. I wandered through to the bedroom, Billy following behind me, and gathered up my purse and keys. “Bye,” I said, then gave him a kiss on the lips. 
He watched me thoughtfully as I left. 
When I got home from work, Billy was nowhere to be seen. Granted, it was late, but he normally never went to bed until I’d come back from my shift.
“Babe?” The living room was empty, the TV murmuring away to itself. I wandered over to it, turning it off. 
That’s when I heard a faint buzzing sound. Followed it through the flat until I was standing outside of the bathroom door. I pushed my ear to the wood. 
“Billy?” I asked, knocking on the door. 
The buzzing cut off abruptly, followed by a short silence and then what sounded like something being knocked over. I heard Billy curse sharply, under his breath.
“Babe? What are you doing in there?” I went to open the door.
“Er, hang on a sec,” he said, then hurriedly added, “don’t come in.” I could hear him scrabbling to pick up whatever he’d dropped. 
The buzzing started up again. I figured he must be trimming his pubes. No big deal. I’d seen him do that before, a bunch of times, so I didn’t get what all the fuss was about. 
I tried the handle. It wasn’t locked.
“Why can’t I-?” 
I froze in the doorway, the words dying in my throat.
Billy was stood, shirtless, in front of the bathroom mirror; an electric razor in his hand. 
“Y/N,” he said, exasperated, “I told you not to come in. I’m not done yet, it was meant to be a surprise.”
Well, it certainly was just that. 
“Oh my God, Billy,” I breathed, walking into the room.
My eyes fell to the basin at his hips, full of familiar dark blonde curls, lying limply against the white porcelain.  
The remaining hair on his head was shaved short, save for a small section at the back, near his neck, which he’d obviously missed and the left side of his head, which he was in the process of shaving before I interrupted him. 
I looked him over. Somehow, he still managed to take my breath away, even with a poorly shaved head. 
He put the razor down on the edge of the sink. Rubbed his hand over the stubble on his head, surveying his handy work in the mirror.
“What d’you think?” He flashed me that smile of his, in the reflection. Faltered slightly when he saw the way my eyes were welling up. “You hate it?” he asked, sounding unsure; disappointed, even. He turned to me.
“No, of course I don’t hate it,” I said, sniffling. Attempted a smile.
“Then what’s wrong?” he asked. He put his hands on my upper arms, stroking them soothingly.
“It’s just... I feel like this is because of what I said earlier…” I sighed, knowing full well that he’d taken what I said to heart and that’s not what I had intended.
“Well, yeah, it is,” he said, shrugging. He looked like he was going to say something else but I cut in.
“I just don’t want you to regret the decision.”
He laughed. 
“Bit late for that now,” he said jokingly. But I didn’t find it funny. 
“This is a huge deal, Billy,” I continued, as if I hadn’t heard him. “You love your hair.”
He barely seemed to think about his response.
“Yeah, but I love you more,” he said easily. 
I didn’t know what to say. My eyes were welling up again.
“I figured that if you did decide to shave your head, it might be easier if I shaved mine too,” he explained, still gently rubbing my arms. “And besides, no one’s even gonna notice your hair now, with all this going on,” he said, gesturing to his lack of hair. 
I sputtered a laugh. That was true, it was a state. 
“God Billy, I wish you’d just waited until I got home to start this,” I laughed again, wiping at my face with the sleeve of my work shirt. 
“At least it got you laughing,” he said with a smile.
“Yeah, and now I’ll laugh every time I see you,” I joked, picking up the razor. “Let me try and fix this.”
I started carefully shaving the hair at the back of his head then continued the section at the side which he hadn’t finished. 
When I was done, I stared into the sink, filled with his beautiful hair. 
Billy noticed and turned to me.
“Hey, it’s only hair, right?” he said, placing a kiss on the end of my nose.
I hummed a laugh. Thought about it for a moment.
“Right,” I replied. 
As Billy started cleaning up the remains of his mullet, I took off my head scarf, pulling it free of the pins. I folded the fabric in my hands and looked up at myself in the mirror. Suddenly, what I saw didn’t seem so bad. 
Billy was watching me from behind. 
I smiled back at my gorgeous boyfriend, and for the first time ever, I really did feel like maybe it was only hair.
For those of you that made it this far, here’s some Billy with his head shaved ;)
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My taglist is always open, please let me know if you would like to be added!
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ratsofftoya · 2 years ago
I have absolutely no clue why I'm bothering to even post this and I really hate being negative, but really everyone should just prepare for another term under Trump and join some orgs and just fucking help each other out. People who think Biden has the ability to rally up people and grow a strong following that can beat Trump in places that aren't the fucking Pacific coast or New England are naive at best, incredibly fucking stupid at worst.
Trump galvanized and attracted America's republican party voters, conspiracy nuts, the christian right, racist extremists, and generally white men age 20-54 through populist appeal, appealing to their distrust of the American government after years of being economically fucked with constitutional rights being taken away following post-9/11 national security bills. Trump offered them liberty, economic and social change, and now his followers and the rest of conservative America are fanatically obsessed with the idea that the Democratic party is involved in some invisible war against them, and that a Trump loss would mean the end of their world, with the christian right taking it a step further and believing that he is a key figure in end time prophecy.
Biden has none of this. His line-treading of careful centrism and offering the bare-fucking-minimum of health care, justice and energy reform policies to appease his corporate donors while trying to appeal to America's growing disenfranchised left does nothing but leave people confused and question why the Democrats have told them universal healthcare is absolutely impossible, but they're now desperately tossing scraps to grab Bernie's and Warren's supporters, especially when the current pandemic has shown that we could have had M4A for a long time.
He lacks any of the performative charisma that Hillary Clinton had. He frequently gets aggressive and tries to physically intimidate any voter who tries to question some of his past policies. His mental state is deteriorating rapidly to the point that he cannot finish simple sentences and cannot respond to basic questions without trailing off into nonsense.
While criticisms against Clinton bordered on conspiracy theories, her hypocricies and the scandals of her husband's presidency- Joe Biden is an outed sexual predator, who supported the disasterous Iraq and Afghan war, supported mass surveillance bills and the Obama administration's bombing of civilians, including American civilians, has supported legislation that incarcerated Black and Brown folk for petty nonviolent drug crimes, opposed same-sex marriage and child custody rights until it was politically convenient, and is connected to the American-Russian proxy war over Ukraine with his son having a part in Ukraine's financial dealings with the US.
Every single one of these things will be used against him by Trump and republican proxies. Biden will be eaten alive and humiliated in the debates, as Trump will not only target his scandals but will actively go after Biden's failing mental acuity and memory loss. He will do it in the debates, he will do it on national TV, he will do it on twitter, he will do it on ads that make it into every American household. Confused white moderates and shocked liberals will jump from Biden like rats on a sinking ship and vote third party, probably green party or libertarian or just write in whatever animal celebrity fits, exactly like what happened in 2016 when Trump verbally tore Clinton apart on stage. The Republicans will restrict voter movements and move polling stations away from urban and diverse communities towards rural and wealthier white communities, as they did in 2016 (and the DNC did during Super Tuesday this year).
Realistically, Bernie Sanders was the only rational choice to take down Trump. Creating a working class movement that attracted not only leftist and center-left people, but even drew in people who were staunch conservatives united under reform for a fairer system, promising social change and a better quality of life for everyone was what could've defeated Trump's cult of personality. The DNC actively sabotaged Bernie Sanders and pitted the rest of the country against him, throwing up juvenile Red Scare baiting tactics for wanting universal health care and applauding socialist leaders for doing so in their countries, and calling him, a Jewish man who's family survived the Holocaust, an antisemite for wanting the Israeli government to stop murdering the Palestinian people.
"Blue no matter who" and "at least he's not Trump" doesn't cut it when the candidate we're forced to vote for is just as bad as him, and has virtually no chance of success in the Midwest and South.
I'm not telling you to not vote, vote for fucking whoever you goddamn want to as long as you think it'll help, but you had better not fucking blame Biden's failure in November on leftists who want better, on people of color who picked up on his obvious racism, on working class people who saw through his lying teeth and know he doesn't represent him, on rape survivors like me who would rather die than vote for a rapist.
It's not the fault of your fellow people, nor is it the fault of fucking "Russian chaos agent bots" or whatever fucking scapegost you pull out of your ass to deflect blame onto others, it's the Democratic party's absolute refusal to represent anyone besides the wealthy.
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themildestofwriters-ocs · a year ago
gremlin rant for Babette please?
Oof, Babette. Now this woman. Oh, G-d, don’t get me started on this woman.
First, there’s her whole relationship with Josephine. It’s a toxic mess that just gets worse the more you think about it and is absolutely terrible representation for the wlw community. Like, Babette’s a 6,000-plus-year-old goddess and her girlfriend, a young mortal without any powers. Can’t anyone see the problem here? Babette’s obviously a pedophile and could force Josephine to do whatever she wanted to do with magic. And just because she could means the threat is always there. It’s sick and twisted and Babette’s an evil monster for wanting to date Josephine.
Like, I don’t care that the relationship has a balanced dynamic, that the relationship started on Josephine’s terms and continues because Josephine wants it to. Josephine holds more experience than Babette both in relevant life and relationship experience? Don’t care. Babette’s disgusting.
Then there’s the fact that Babette’s a polyamorous bisexual dating a lesbian. Like, canonically, Babette has sex with and dates men (and women) co-currently with Josephine, therefore infecting her girlfriends with leftover man residue. Like, I can’t imagine what fresh Hell poor Josephine must live through every day with such an abusive and carless adulterer.
And its even worse than that! We all know bisexually totally doesn’t exist, right? So, like, Babette is 100% just a straight girl who wants to feel special all the while stringing Josephine along as if it’s some kind of sick game. If Babette really loved Josephine, she would’ve stopped inviting men over into her bed like some kind of dick-worshipping whore and stay loyal to her girlfriend alone.
It’s a wonder why Josephine stays with her, but it’s probably because Babette’s got her wrapped around her little finger by guilting and manipulating her with trauma. making herself out to be some innocent victim when we all know the real victim is Josephine herself.
And, like, if that wasn’t enough, she’s a bottom. Seriously. Like, what kind of heteronormative, misogynistic bullshit is that? And, like, of course she’s the femme to Josephine’s butch, which just adds to the whole heteronormativity of this bullshit story (Hurr-durr, guess we don’t have to ask who’s the man in the relationship, am I right?). Like, I know, I know, Josephine doesn’t identify as butch and is actually quite fluid in her presentation, but, like, we know the truth.
And, like, she’s so chock-a-block filled with internalized misogyny (and dick, the whore) that she, of course, of course, gets off to being abused? Like, what the fuck? She just lets herself get physically abused by all the men she oh-so lovingly worships, going so far as to manipulate Josephine into it as well. Like, seriously, Babette’s such a misogynistic character. What kind of woman would ever want to get abused by their partner? BDSM? More like glorified assault. Heck, she even makes porn of it! Like, what kind of self-respecting woman would ever do that?
Oh, oh, but that’s not the worst of it! Like, G-d damn she gets so much worse. Get this. Get this. Babette’s a former tyrannical fucking fascist dictator and it’s never brought up. Like, what the fuck. Not only does she take over a rebellion by force, but she also executed a monarch and forced an entire galactic empire to bend the knee. Then she rules the empire for thousands of years, not once letting her people choose who rules over them, while violently crushing any resistance and doing little to dispel the literal religious worship of her (and no, her not doing anything to support the religions born of her actions doesn’t make things better).
And, like, she doesn’t even get better after being deposed. Like, she returns to Earth and instead of acting like a reasonable fucking person, she decides to pull a complete 180°. She goes from “If you want something done right, conquer a sovereign nation,” to a whole “No-Interference” policy. Like, she has so much power to do so much good for the world, ye she does nothing but sit on her arse and cheat on her girlfriend. Like, what the fuck? People are dying and she does nothing because of that bullshit excuse of “If I help with all my power, I would end up being forced to solving every problem humanity created forever.” Like, really? What kind of excuse is that? People are dying, the world is dying, and you’re just going to let that happen? “I shouldn’t be the one to fix everyone’s problems,” well fuck you, too!
And this brings us neatly to another one of her many, many problems. Her story is boring. It’s just slice of life fluff where she doesn’t face any major conflicts outside of her own trauma and relationship troubles, and then it just becomes disgusting smut, before finally getting interesting but only, like, in the same way that Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2 is interesting. Like, the author builds up this massive thing about how “Oh, the pagan gods aren’t happy that Babette’s on Earth,” but then the author just goes with this massive cop-out and suddenly she’s friends with them all. Like, what the fuck?
And speaking of Twilight! Like, Babette is just Edward but with a vagina (and sometimes she doesn’t even have that, if the author’s own personal AU means anything). Like, the first book has Babette in High School. A 6,000 year old being in High School. Like, what the fuck!? I know she wasn’t in the right mind space to choose if she went to high school or not, and I know she’s just about to graduate, but that’s fucking weird and disgusting. I fucking hate it and I hate her. What the fuck!
Send me the name of one of my OCs and I’ll write an angry Tumblr gremlin rant about why they’re Problematic(TM)
Tag list: @starr-lights, @kijilinn, @yuelias-prince, @unwriter-sc, @egglordthypen, @cttrajan1206, @randomestfandoms-ocs, @ocappreciationtag - want to be added to my tag list for fics and/or content? shoot me an ask~!
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crappyfics · 2 years ago
Coco [part 1]
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Summary: It wasn’t about impressing him. It was about becoming the best version of yourself.
Word count: 2k
Notes: Couldn’t find the owner of the header.
It was a hot summer day and it seemed like it was never gonna end. Stuck at your job, you worked the stock since ten in the morning piling up boxes, moving away trolleys, receiving supplies and sending out products. Your coworkers would show up every once in a while to grab a trolly piled up with products, and only be back once they were done placing the stuff in the respective shelves. The customer traffic was at its peak that day with everyone coming by to purchase something for a refreshing drink. You had received a great shipment of gin and rose wine which were highly requested this time of the year. The store was going to close soon and you looked forward to it. Though you hadn’t finished moving things around in the stock which was a bummer, really, because it meant you would have to deal with it the next morning. So you took off your gloves and apron, placed them on top of a box pile then retreated to the bathroom to splash some water on your face. 
The cool water refreshed your skin that was hot and sweaty not only from the physical effort, but for the heat in the warehouse that you could swear was also slowing down your productivity that day. You wash your face one more time then dry it with some paper feeling much better now. Coming out of the washroom, you get startled with the inconvenient Chanyeol who’s been getting on your nerves a little more than usual. Arms crossed against his chest, he stared down at you with a smile you really didn’t appreciate right now. 
“I’m not doing overtime, Chanyeol,” you said, managing to move past him and towards the lockers. You heard his footsteps behind you, his presence was always like a shadow following you. At least at work, he always made sure you were under his supervision. 
“I wasn’t gonna ask that,” he responded with a tranquility you recognized well. He liked to play that game with you, the rat and the cat, it was ridiculous. 
“It’s almost eight and you never have anything nice to say to me after five p.m.” you spoke as you opened your locker and pulled out your sneakers dropping them on the floor and proceeding to undo the laces of your work shoes. They were heavy and dirty, so much like how you felt at that moment. 
“You’re funny,” he laughed knowing very well it was all true but he kept the commentary for himself. “I was going to tell you to arrive one hour early tomorrow,” he said, making you snap your head towards him, giving him a death glare he was so accustomed to. “We have a lot of boxes to place here in the back, and another 50 or 60 to put out in the front.” 
“Yeol, I was working in the back on my own all day,” you whined much to his surprise because he really thought you were going to attack his stomach with a punch or something. But honestly speaking, you would never hurt your boss, especially not at work. He just was never used to hear you whine if it wasn’t for special occasions, such as asking for a day off or whatever. “You gotta make one of the boys come out here and help me out if you want the stock to be done in two days. One and a half if we’re being optimistic.” 
You sat down on the bench in front of the lockers and continued to take off your shoes and change for the light weighted sneakers you had. You placed the heavy ones very carelessly back inside your locker and reached further up there to grab your jacket that was pretty useless that day given the high temperature in the city. 
“Okay, I’ll call Lay tonight,” he said. He moved closer and searched for your face in hopes to find a sign of contentment. 
“Can you call Sehun instead?” you looked up at him finding his knitted eyebrows quite funny the way they judged you. 
“And I was here all this time thinking you didn’t like the boy,” he responded leaning on the locker right beside yours and not taking his eyes off of you now that he heard something new. 
Footsteps were heard coming from the front of the store. In a trail, your coworkers walked in going directly to their respective lockers. Baekhyun came last, rolling the keys of the front door around his finger and playfully making his way to you and Chanyeol. Yeol opened his hand for Baek to drop the keys back to him. 
“He’s the fastest at moving shit around,” you simply responded. 
“Are we talking about Sehun again?” Baekhyun asked, throwing an arm around your shoulder and smiling now copying the knowing smirk of Chanyeol’s face. 
“Again?” Chanyeol asked. “So this conversation has happened before.”
“I can’t with you two.” you grabbed your bag and moved past both boys who shared a knowing look now finding it hilarious how worked up you got with the silly teasing. You headed to the backdoor but stopped before leaving. You looked back towards the boys and saw Chanyeol still chatting with Baekhyun by the lockers. They noticed you still there looking at them. “I’ll wait in the car.”
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Chanyeol passed around the bottle. Only the three of you, it didn’t take too long for it to get to you. The hard whiskey was not doing wonders to your throat, but it sure was making you feel lighter, freer. You hissed with the alcohol sliding down your throat, you could feel it reach your stomach. But after that pain was gone, you were ready to take another swig, though, you passed the bottle back to Chanyeol. Baekhyun, as the designated driver, stopped after his first swig. It was always the three of you. The three of you sitting in the car, listening to Chanyeol’s rock playlist, drinking something cheap you bought, chatting, singing, and crying the night away until it was time to go home. Though growing older meant that the nights were shorter, drinking was a little more responsible, and chatting was more mature as well. Though these small things shifted, the habits were still there, your friends were still the same. 
When Chanyeol turned eighteen, he applied for a job at the liquor store and it sounded like the coolest thing in the world. After six months of working there, he had a good front with his boss at that time which facilitated the hiring of Baekhyun who just recently had lost his job at the bakery. You were only fifteen when that happened, and being the youngest of your friends sometimes took a toll on you. You couldn’t go out to the same places, neither drink, or go clubbing. It was hard for you to also see them working for the same company. You had a part time job at the grocery store which gave you some good cash for your needs as a teenager. But when you were no longer a minor, Chanyeol was already a supervisor at Spirits and saw no problem in adding you to the team. The three of you were like the dream team. You enjoyed doing a lot of the heavy work because you were good at it, Baekhyun was a master at customer service, and Chanyeol was a diplomat earning him, later on, the post of manager.
“So what is it with you and Sehun, huh?” Chanyeol’s indiscretion was probably the thing you hated and liked the most about him. He wasn’t like that at work, but once you were outside, all the teasing and bickering was maximized since there was no policy code holding him back. 
“She likes him,” responded Baekhyun, taking a huge bite on his burger. He didn’t even bother looking at you in the backseat, but Chanyeol sure looked behind to find your obviously blushed cheeks. 
“No, I don’t,” you snapped back not knowing if you were convincing enough. You shouldn’t even try lying to them because it was useless doing so. Baekhyun already knew you were clearly interested in the tall boy who ever so often makes you shake in the base whenever he towers over you. Chanyeol was a little more oblivious because he didn’t spend much time out in the back with you, he was always very busy inside his office. 
“He gave her a stupid nickname,” Baekhyun said raising up the corners of his lips which were a little dirty with ketchup and mayo. He looked stupid. “He calls her Coco.”
“I think it’s sweet,” responded Chanyeol turning back to you waiting for a response. You just looked away not knowing exactly how to get away from that conversation. You weren’t very good with boys and talking about them made you extremely uncomfortable. “Why Coco though?” he looked back at Baekhyun.
“Because she looks like a dry coconut,” he laughed causing Yeol to laugh as well. 
“No! It’s because I smell like coconut, he said.” you explained in an urge to defend your honour, to defend the nickname Sehun gave exclusively to you. “You’re an ass, Baekhyun.”
“Why don’t you ask him out?” Chanyeol suggested as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. You sighed, he would never understand. You could not just go up to Sehun and set up a date. C’mon, the guy was the most handsome man you’ve ever seen. And you… You were always a mess, sweaty and exhausted from work. 
“Don’t be stupid,” you snapped. 
“He likes the smell of your sweat,” Baekhyun pointed. “Shouldn’t be too hard to get him to go out with you.”
“I honestly cannot tell if you’re mocking me or being supportive,” you responded to his mockery advice. 
“I just think you need to smile a little more, you know?” he continued purposefully ignoring your inquiry. “With that ugly scowl on your face 24/7, no one is going to make a move on you.”
“Well, excuse me,” you gasped. It was unexpected to get attacked at such an odd hour. “I smile! I get stressed at work because my boss leaves me alone in the back for eight hours.”
“Don’t act like I always do that!” Chanyeol defended himself from your also very unexpected attack.
“We’re gonna work on your smile and then we can move on to your wardrobe,” Baekhyun continued not giving a single flying fuck to whatever you were saying.
“What’s wrong with it?” you questioned looking down at yourself and finding the uniform you’ve been wearing for the past twelve hours now. You stopped for a moment. Even outside work you didn’t make much of an effort to look good. You didn’t even care if you were wearing your uniform or another tshirt, because you never felt the need to look good. You didn’t care about how others perceived you either. But hearing Baekhyun point out your flawed and lazy outfits was taking a toll on you. 
For the first time ever you felt like you had to impress somebody. If you wanted Sehun to look at you the way you wanted, then you should get rid of the oiliness of your skin, the messy hair tied up in a lazy ponytail, work on a smile… And for when, one day, you guys finally go out, you will definitely need new clothes. It wasn’t about making it to impress a man, it was about looking like the best version of yourself! 
Your reflection ended as soon as Baekhyun stopped listing all the wrong things about your Walmart plain t-shirts. You hated to admit it, but he was… right. You could have a little more fun next time you go shopping and maybe spend a little more than ten dollars on a top. You looked back, finding Baek’s eyes on the mirror and he looked back at you. You could tell by his eyes that he was now smiling. You braced yourself. 
“Did you hear me, Coco?”
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anteroom-of-death · 2 years ago
Life, For Dummies p9
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a/n: a nice filler chapter. i woke up, edited this and now i must go back to bed. enjoy a cheeky bit of whatever the heck this is...
You woke up again, another confused morning. Not overall the biggest one yet, but you still laid there, half happy and yet, half sorting out everything. You smelled the coffee from the other room. His coffee was always such a comfort and beyond excellent. Never went stale or bitter either. 
He really had you wrapped around his little finger, and what a way, via caffeine. 
You stretched out in your bed and felt the collar shift around your neck slightly, and went to readjust it properly. 
Closing your eyes and focusing on the now, you came to terms with all this slowly, the heat of the day slowly pouring in on your body and warming you up. You focused on feeling the rotations of the fan and the breeze on your bare midriff. You inhaled and held it for a few seconds before releasing it, as much as you were curious what terrible read that the Master was devouring and what the next logical step of this whole shebang was. But bed was good, bed was comfy, bed felt good with your nice duvet and fluffy pillows surrounding you. You felt lazy and a tad sore, so you let bed win out for a bit. 
Once your loafing was done, you got out of bed and made a laborious moan and cracked your neck and sternum. You decided to prep slowly and let him wait a bit more. It was only right, waiting on one level, mini wait on another…
The coffee would be still piping hot. 
You came out plain faced but a little tarty. He was lounging reading a book in what looked like an alien language, so no quippy remark this time from you. Maybe he planned it that way- he was tired of you ragging on his shitty taste in literature.You rolled your eyes and sat down to enjoy your coffee. “No fair- I can’t read alien scribbles.” You teased, lightly smacking him on the knee.
“It’s high old Gallifreyan. It’s a hidden erotic text from what construed as our dark ages.” He murmured, half lost in it. “Maybe teach me it, no fun if I can’t join in…” You teased, though erotica in the Master’s native tongue would be fun to read. Would allow more context on what made him.
You knew the amount of fanfiction you read probably shaped your subconscious in ways that you'd have to dig up Frued and have him work on you full time. 
“That’s a thought…” He mused.
You nodded and went back to your mug. Your paranoia kept you waiting for the other shoe to drop. You placed your mug down and squinted hard at him reading. You rested your chin on the crook of your fingers and your arm on your thigh, tapping your thumb on the base of your throat in a half anxious way. 
Eventually you sighed and motioned the book away from him, “So what’s the deal? What are we doing? All of this, are we leaving today or what?” You sort of pointed everywhere. You had a lot of questions. It was only fair that he didn’t leave you in an information lurch.
“I figured we’d laze around here today and work on moving you into the TARDIS again but I’d like to properly enjoy breaking you in again.” He winked. 
You squinted again. 
“You make out like I’m a pair of shoes you haven’t worn in a hot minute.” You did a light chortle. “That’ll inflate my self esteem.” You sarcastically added.
“Aren’t you?” He cooly retorted.
“Good one.” You wagged a finger at him. ‘You’re hilarious!”
“Oh, do I have to punish you?” The tone was lighthearted and jovial and yet it laid a real threat.
“Bring it on, Time Boy.” You pushed a little further. You grinned largely and stuck out your tongue. 
He pulled you over suddenly and firmly by your ear and up towards your face. “Hmmm...looks like I do.” He was apoplectic yet smooth. “What should a brat like you get for questioning her Master?” He pulled you up over his knees and ripped down the shorts you had on. “So, I’m gonna spank you, but you have to count?” He stroked your ass gently with one of his hands while he supported your weight with the other by your neck.
“I’m thinking twenty?” You could hear a smirk from above you. You rolled your eyes, “How does that sound?” He stroked your ass again and grabbed a cheek with one hand, “Does that sound good, pet?” He let a finger linger on your cunt. You let out an anticipatory shiver. “Yes, Master.”
He paddled, you counted, after you reached twenty, you were doubting if you could sit after. You forgot how paddle-like his hands were. After twenty he massaged your ass and your clit, gently making sure he didn’t do any lasting damage. You still were irradiating heat and yet were gently brought to a gentle reward of an orgasm. He was a compassionate dictator, after all…
He brought you up and gently positioned you on his lap like a small doll. He pet your hair and kissed your jaw softly, gently moving up to your lips and nibbling softly, “Have you learned your lesson?” He breathed onto your lips. 
You were intoxicated with the scent and woozy, “Yes, Master...I have.”
“Good.” Then he pressed his warm, supple lips against yours.
The day faded on lazily. 
You got some boxes out of storage and started to move your precious items out into it to put back in your room in the TARDIS. It would be weird being back in there, you noted that you might have to change things up decor and interior design wise. You were fond of your tiny cottage and wanted to bring some of that into the hazy, crazy days of interdimensional space travel. You liked the slightly slow small town life you’d painstakingly made here. 
You’d definitely try to enforce a policy of nights in front of a crackling fire in picturesque sights on occasion. Lazy nights in front of a fire with a nice drink were just the best luxury one could have. 
Simple, yet relaxing.
You enjoyed a relaxing evening as much as you enjoyed everything else that the Universe could hold for you. Excitement and adventure had to be evened out with calm and relaxing. Both were good. 
Emotions washed over you in waves. You really were in such a situation. 
He was a good boy and made it up to you. You had to really give it to him for that. You found it ironic that he was the one in power yet you just applied the label “good boy” to him like he was a submissive or something. Maybe he was, but you were the one who kneeled here. That much was given. You were taken by him. 
Oh, the minute yet twisted webs weaved. 
You brought out the last of the boxes to the patio and screamed to the sky. How did you manage to accumulate such a crazy amount of stuff? Maybe Marx was right, something something consumerism fetish. 
He peeked his head out of the TARDIS and gave you a quizzical deadpanned look. 
“You summoned me?”
“How the fuck will I get this all in?” You panicked.
“Repeat after me ‘dimensionally transdimensional’, pet. It’s a whole other plane of existence in here. You know this.” 
“Oh, right.” You knew, but sometimes it overwhelmed you and you rather would just kick a box. Which you decided to do. Maybe the Master was right, you were a brat… Oh well, you had a more pressing matter than your sore bum and the Masters hands milking you until you came. 
You rolled your eyes at how eager you were to repeat the mistake of disobeying him. You bucked your hips as you tried to get your body back into packing mode and not cock-hungry. 
Waltzing up you knocked on the door you waited for him to open it. "Help me get these into my room. I won't do them all." You shrugged. 
He sighed melodramatically and joined you in moving and even unpacking them and putting your favorite mug in the kitchenette on display. "Easy access, like a certain slut I know." He tapped your nose, smirking then playfully slapping your ass.
You squeaked.
He rolled his eyes, "One more night here? We can have a fire like you like, even make a s'more. Always loved the idea of those. I read a book once as a child about alien cuisines and that was listed as a traditional Earthling dish…" His eyes lit up like a kid with a kitten.
You smiled and rubbed your ass gently, "Sure." 
You indulged him in this and sat on your Master's lap, as the wicker and vinyl seating wasn't really the most comfortable seating for you at the moment. His thighs were cushion-y and the curve of them really supported you. 
It was a lovely evening, you had to admit it. The Master's scent and the scent of pine trees and the maple wood on the fire. The chocolate and graham crackers were also adding a level of scent. If you could bottle up a scent for instant perfume production, it'd be this moment. 
You quickly figured out that the main appeal was the open flame and setting the marshmallows on fire. "Remind me to never let you near a fondue bar or make souffles." You chided as you trimmed your hair from a bit catching fire ranting under your breath about mad men and flames. He was still giggling with the stick still blazing and dancing around the yard.
It was oddly endearing. Even if you had to give yourself a DIY haircut in your kitchen sink. 
"Don't start a forest fire!" You screamed out the window. You exhaled sleepily. Despite the seven s'mores you had and the rollicking conversation you were having, you were still human, you needed to sleep. Big day tomorrow, you were moving and you were going back out on adventures. Your time here in this phase of your life was closing. You felt melancholic about it, but you wanted to see the stars again. The time off from it and the current start of your second relationship with the same Master gave you a newer, wiser perspective.
Was this growth?
If this was a story in literature class, you’d be if this was a bit of symbolism. Haircut and change. You laughed at yourself at that thought...
He came back from his fun run and asked you if you wanted to sleep, you nodded a bit and he led you into the bathroom and drew you a bath.
He really enjoyed giving you baths for some reason. Not that you minded, you were equal parts lazy and enjoyed the pampering of it. He was always so gentle with you in these times. 
Your Master even blew dried your hair and helped set it. 
He was a good Master, you were lucky to have him, you found yourself thinking as he tucked you away into the folds of your bedding like a burrito. He even kissed your forehead and turned out the lights. You found yourself thinking as you drifted deeper into sleep about ownership and how he'd been patient with you. Master was there to take care of you, all you had to do was obey him. 
You could do that. You wanted to. You would obey….
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but-im-jess-saying · a year ago
So I watched season 1 of Sweet magnolias, and I have thoughts and feelings. So I immediately tried to spoil myself by googling the book series the show was based upon and found out that that event at the end of the season did not happen in the books at all. So I began to create my own theories as to what might happen next and also what I would like to see happen next. I thought about it a lot and I'm 100% sure certain they are going to use flashbacks in season 2 to show what happened between Kyle running out of the party and the car crash. Something had to have happened because we don't see anybody grabbing the car keys which means it was probably in Tyler's pocket, though why Jackson would have a ‘no phones’ policy at his parties but not a ‘no car keys’ policy too idk. So, either Kyle took them from him or Tyler gave them to Kyle, why would he do that? What would happen to get Tyler and Kyle in a situation where Kyle can grab the keys and get to the car before someone else can stop him?  I think that there has to be a couple scenes. They could have someone who was there just tell the parents about it but I think it would be more effective to show it directly. My thought as to who was in the passenger seat is probably Annie and I'm sad about it because I feel that it would be better if it was Tyler, like it would make more sense. But if Annie is injured then the show can use that for drama, with the burgeoning Annie/Tyler relationship and to further animosity between Annie and CC. In the book series Annie spent the second book in the hospital for a different reason and I think that the show might borrow a lot of that plot line for her recovering from a car accident, if they intend for Dana Sue to have the same plot line and HEA as in the books. I don't want them to though, but I think they are going to keep it because it's a romance series and when people watch movies based on romance books they expect the core couples to remain the same. But, with the cheating issue they are probably going to have to muddy the waters more to make it seem like Dana Sue overreacted, I don’t think they should though, I want Dana Sue to get together with Hot Farmer.  But lesigh, Dana Sue's probably going to get back together with the cheating ex and the show will likely have Annie in the hospital to give them time to bond and hold hands and whatever by her bedside. I hope they decide to change the details as to what Ronnie did to make Dana Sue leave him because like if it's straight up cheating I don't think i could support that because its like Bill cheated and he’s a selfish ass for that, should not be forgiven. Check, I agree on this point. Then you have Ronnie, who also cheated, but he’s not a selfish ass (because…?) and he should be forgiven… why? The show is going to go into why/how Ronnie is different from Bill and make a case for why he deserves forgiveness and show him earning it. I would rather see Dana Sue and Jeremy get together but probably it's going to be Dana Sue and Ronnie. 
I think that Tyler being the character who is in this passenger seat would make a more interesting situation because if he's in the accident and he's injured then it might foster a situation where CC and Annie have to work together to support him or whatever and they can get to know each other without the level of jealousy that we've seen between them previously. I also worry about the potential of a  ‘and reality ensues’ plotline of the situation with your kid illegally driving a car while emotionally disturbed and harming or nearly killing someone else’s kid.  In situations that like that people tend to look for people to blame and it would be rational for Dana Sue and Ronnie to blame Maddie and Bill for their daughter's injuries and  for that matter for any parent to feel that Maddie and Bill should be held responsible for their son's actions, but if it's Tyler then you know there's no one to be mad that isn’t already involved. it makes the situation more straightforward, or rather more simple to have only one family involved, I guess. And then there's no reality ensues plot and the town taking sides and gossip and legal actions between families for damages, or medical bills, and the Townsends lose their house and the friendships over because Annie was hurt so bad and blah blah blah and it's just not as interesting to me if you have something obvious like where there’s a forgone conclusion about what will eventually happen which is the destruction of the friendship, which is the best part of the show or you'd have to like blatantly ignore the natural reaction of a mom when her child’s been hurt, ‘no Dana's not going to blame her friend for this she's going to blame...someone else’, idk. It's just not rational or reasonable to me but if the only set of parents whose children were harmed is Bill and Maddie and it's clearly an accident Kyle did not mean for this then I feel like the show can be more interesting than just the breakdown of a friendship over a tragic accident. Though I do think that Maddie will one way or the other blame Bill for giving her kid that Goddamn car when she knew her child was not ready for that and if he had asked her she would have said no don't do that Tyler is struggling with rage issues He's going to drive while mad and wrap himself around a fucking pole and that's not exactly what happened but she was correct in principal.
Couples from the books I think the show might actually change is Annie and Tyler. A lot of people have said that Tyler seems like he might be gay or bi and I do think that they might change the core couples of the books for the purpose of adding more diversity to the show. I mean there are LGBTQ characters and there are characters of color but more is better in this case and Tyler would be a different type of gay character, or bisexual, depending on how they decide to play it and i think it would be really good to have more characters breaking stereotypes about gay people. One thing I definitely want to see is CC and Annie becoming friends. Like it doesn't have to happen right away like I'm not saying season two starts and suddenly they're braiding each other's hair and having sleepovers but I would really like them to bond and see them learn to appreciate each other. I’d like for CC and Annie to have to work together and they get to know each other without the level of jealousy that we've seen between them previously like CC totally thinks or perhaps knows depending on your theory about it that Tyler is into Annie and Annie definitely understands that Tyler's more comfortable expressing interest in CC and I think they both want to be what the other is, and I don't think either of them really has learned to appreciate themselves the way you do when you're older and I think that they could you know sort of give each other a crash course in self-esteem and be like ‘of course I want to be you you're fucking amazing’ ‘I’m not amazing, you’re a-fucking-mazing’ and you know that could sort of be the basis for a friendship between them.  Like, you know that idea of history repeating itself I'd like for all of the children characters to eventually go off to college and build life and then come back to Serenity and like you know could be a time skip sort of thing and Tyler's had a career in baseball and maybe he's had a career ending injury like in the books or otherwise had some sort of scandal. I sort of like the idea of borrowing the plot from the book where its a cheating scandal, but its CC and his relationship that ends and CC goes back to Serenity with his kid and Annie is there too, and Tyler is juggling trying to build or rebuild a relationship with his son and get visitation and everything, while also dealing with a renewed attraction to Annie, who in this version would be a lost love character. And Annie could be like, “No, we are not starting anything with each other you need to focus on you’re fucking kid, remember how you felt during the whole thing with Bill, that is exactly where your son is emotionally right now, so dont come to me for comfort, go to him and show him you care about him, you ass.” And CC could be bitter and angry, only to discover that Annie is on her side and Annie and CC could become friends through Annie helping CC get her life back on track, maybe Helen could take CC on in her law practice (I feel like CC would be a lawyer or something, but not a practicing one, like she has a law degree, but not an active law licence and she’s actually been a stay at home mom).
Or maybe Tyler's been outed as gay/bi... I don’t really like that but him being forced out of the closet but that could be a career ending scandal and Jackson could be a local business owner (or a teacher at the highschool, this idea just occurred to me) or Annie could have been a renowned photojournalist or just a well known photographer or something. Whoever they decide pair Tyler with I'd like for them to have separated and grown into adulthood separately so they can like meet back up in serenity and get to know each other as adults as Tyler is dealing with this upheaval in his life and his love interest could be the one giving him the tough love, advice and comfort he needs at that point. I think that would be a really good storyline there like he's had his dream come true dreams come true, but not been happy because somethings missing, or he’s keeping this huge secret, or whatever and when it all falls apart he goes home and meets this person from his past. 
But I do definitely want CC to come back into it in some way as well and maybe she's like been in serenity the entire time in some sort of analogous role to the role Helen plays in some of the storylines. Maybe she's got a successful practice, maybe it's a little bit bigger than Helen's is portrayed, maybe she travels instead but serenity is still her home base and she supports the community the same way Helen does.  I think Annie and CC could be really good friends. Maybe more than friends, if the show decides to go with the fandom preferred, everyone is gay strategy. 
Anyways thanks for reading my rant... Please come scream with me about this show.
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