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ckret2 · 5 months

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Chapter 26 of human Bill doing his best to arm-twist his captors into doing anything he wants, featuring: the gang going to the mall, where Bill tries on some of the most ridiculous outfits known to mankind, to Mabel's delight and Stan & Dipper's despair.

(please click on the second image, you can't imagine how long it took to make those two patterns. (Okay you probably can, it was a couple hours.))

####

Bill said, "Well, you can tell Stanford that if he's got a problem with my drinking, I'd like to see him try to get a good night's sleep in an alien body without some kind of sedative! I've got a fresh new liver, three little cans of cider a day won't kill me before one of us finds a way to get me out of this body!"

Exasperated, Mabel said, "Why do I have to tell him? Just talk to each other."

"You think I don't want to? He's the one who's put two doors, an elevator, and a trick vending machine between him and me."

Mabel supposed that was true. "Okay, fine. More importantly: what do you think of going shopping?"

Bill shrugged. "Sure. I'll take any opportunity to go outside. It'll be a good test run for other trips."

Mabel frowned, clearly disappointed by the reaction. "That's it? I thought you'd be more excited. You can finally get more clothing!"

"How much clothing do I need?" He gestured down at himself, wearing his hoodie and a borrowed skirt. "I'm not naked, what more do you want from me?"

"To like your clothing!"

"Oh, right. I keep forgetting you have a whole thing about people other than you being happy."

Mabel socked his arm. "Do you just not care about clothes? I didn't expect you to be like Dipper about it."

Eugh. "It's not that I don't like fashion in general," Bill said, eager to distance himself from the household wet blanket. "I have very strong opinions on other people's fashion! It's just..."

It was just that he didn't relish the idea of standing in front of a mirror, partially nude, staring at the bone-caged skin prison he was locked inside.

He still put towels over the bathroom mirror when he showered.

"Well," he said, "isn't the whole point of fashion self-expression? And my self can't be expressed in this body." He tugged on the collar of his hoodie, "This is as close as it's gonna get."

"Does clothing have to express your self? Can't it just look really cool?" Mabel asked.

Bill considered that. "I do like looking really cool."

Maybe he didn't have to see it as dressing himself. Treat it like inflicting his design whims upon a helpless human puppet. He'd done that before, he liked doing that. He was lucky, at least, that as far as puppets went, this was an incredibly good-looking one. Aside from the neck.

"Do I have to wear that, though?" Bill skeptically eyed the knit garment held in Mabel's hands.

"Yep! Grunkle Ford's orders! It's to make sure you don't talk to people."

"Can I put it on over my hoodie?"

"As heartwarming as it is that you love it so much: no, you've gotta take it off."

"How come?"

"It's safer this way! Your hoodie might freak people out."

"Freak them out how?"

####

Soos trudged into the kitchen at 3 a.m., yawning, and turned on the lights.

The Bill Cipher, triangular and angular, gold-bricked and one-eyed, hovered in the air.

Soos screamed. "He's back! Everyone watch out! You stay away from my family, you—" Soos picked up the nearest weapon and chucked it at Bill.

The spatula bounced harmlessly off his chest and clattered to the floor. Bill took his hood off. "Wow. Thanks for getting my hopes up, Questiony."

"Oh, whoops. Sorry 'bout that. At a quick glance, that hoodie makes you look a lot like... you." Soos looked Bill up and down again. "Hey. How come you're standing on the kitchen table in the middle of the night?"

"Eh." Bill shrugged. "It passes the time."

####

"Sometimes I curse your species's overactive pattern-detection instincts." Bill snatched Mabel's offering out of her hand and trudged to the bathroom to change.

He emerged a moment later wearing the tank top Mabel had knit for him, and tugged out the hem to examine it. She'd cross-stitched on the chest: "STAY BACK! I BITE SALES PEOPLE!"

"I'd be pretty insulted," Bill said, "if this wasn't the funniest thing I've ever worn."

####

Stan pulled the old Diablo near the porch to minimize the amount of time Bill would spend in open air between confinement in the shack and in a vehicle; then waited leaning against the car, glowering at the ground like the world's surliest chauffeur (he'd even put on his suit), for Dipper and Mabel to escort the prisoner outside.

The second Bill stepped off of the porch, he looked up in amazement. "What is that?"

Dipper and Mabel looked at Bill's face, then in the direction he was looking. He was staring straight into the sun without squinting. Mabel said, "The... sun?"

"No, not the sun! I mean the—" Bill gestured toward the sun. "Whatever it's doing."

Mabel looked skyward again. She didn't see anything else Bill could be referring to. "Shining?"

"I know what sunshine is!"

"Then what are you asking about!"

Bill studied the sky a moment longer. Finally, he said, "Guess I don't know what sunshine feels like! It's been a long time since I've been naked in the sun."

Stan's head snapped up to stare at Bill. Bill was still completely clothed.

After another few seconds, arms outstretched, staring in blank-faced wide-eyed wonder at the sky, Bill concluded, "I think I'm photosynthesizing again."

This time Dipper looked over. And, Bill was still completely human—a species notoriously well-known for not photosynthesizing. "'Again'?"

Bill didn't respond. Instead, with a shrill cackle that startled the nearby birds out of the trees, he took off at a full sprint.

"Hey!" Dipper tore after him. Stan tensed up, but then grunted, leaned back against his car, and waited for Bill to trip.

Bill's run was the awkward bouncing gait of a moon astronaut on fast forward: someone who at some point had definitely learned how to run, but clearly wasn't used to doing it in this body on this world. He switched to an odd sideways crab-walk gallop—which was, surprisingly, faster—and then attempted, and failed, a cartwheel. Dipper dove for Bill, Stan laughed at them both, and Mabel shouted encouragement at Bill from the porch; Bill hopped back up just before Dipper could catch him.

He attempted a second cartwheel but was caught in the middle by an invisible force jerking his wrist. He yelped and tumbled to the ground. "I think I twisted my arm!" He sounded way too giddy about this.

Mabel looked down at her own wrist and the chain bracelet. She wasn't being actively pulled toward Bill; but nevertheless she couldn't pull her wrist any further away from him. "It worked."

"Of course it did!" Breathing heavily, Bill got to his feet and leaned backward on his heels, using the tension of the bracelet around his wrist to keep from falling. "What, did you ever doubt me?"

"Yes," Stan said. "Always," Dipper said. "Every time you open your mouth," Mabel said.

"You're all haters."

Mabel took a flying leap off of the porch. Bill toppled on his back again.

Once they were all loaded in the car—Dipper in the front glaring in the rear view mirror, Mabel and Bill in the back with Bill making faces at the mirror—Stan said, "Okay. I'm not getting you anything nice, because you're not worth it."

"Aww. And after I made you almost five grand?"

Dipper's jaw dropped. "He what?! When did—"

Raising his voice, Stan went on, "So we're going to Shop Thrifty. Any complaints?"

Bill said, "You don't wanna go there."

Stan turned to give him a dark look.

"You don't," Bill said. "They were robbed this weekend. Security's gonna be high."

"No they weren't, you can't know that. You're making that up. I'm calling your bluff."

Dipper cleared his throat. "Actually... yeah, they were robbed. I've been investigating the possibility that it might've been..." At the sight of Bill's keen gaze in the rear view mirror, Dipper trailed off into mumbles.

Bill waited a second longer to ensure Dipper was properly cowed; then said, "See? You can trust me! But if you want to go to the thrift shop..."

"Ha." Stan drummed his fingers on the steering wheel; then reluctantly said, "I guess we could go to the mall—"

Mabel pumped her fists in the air. "THE MALL!"

"Yes! Finally!" Bill dragged his hands down his face in relief. "Civilization! Other people!"

"Hey!" Stan turned around to point threateningly at Bill. Bill held up his hands to block the accusatory finger. "This still isn't a social trip. Talk to anyone and we're going back to the car."

"I know, I know. I just wanna look at people. That's all!" Bill said. "You know that feeling when you come out of a couple weeks in the hole? When you're grateful just to see anybody?"

Stan's frown deepened; but he didn't say anything. He just turned around, ignored Dipper's curious look, and started driving.

Mabel and Bill high-fived.

####

As the car pulled into a parking spot, Mabel handed Bill a pair of mirrored sunglasses with one lens popped out. Bill rolled his (yellow, slitted) eye, but he switched his eyepatch over to the lensless side of the sunglasses and put them on. "Nobody'll notice my eyes. They only look inhuman at certain angles."

"We're being extra cautious," Mabel said.

"If you're gonna make me wear shades any time I'm in public, can I at least pick a pair I like while I'm here?"

Mabel said, "Sure!" at the same time Stan said, "Not a chance." Dipper looked between the two of them, and said, "I'm with Stan."

"I wasn't taking a vote." Bill leaned forward to shove Dipper's hat over his eyes, and followed Mabel out of the car before Dipper could retaliate.

Bill's grin got a little wider and his gait a little bouncier the closer they got to the mall, until he was practically skipping through the automatic doors. "Look at this place! I can't remember the last time I visited a bazaar this booming in person! Two stories, even! Wow!"

Dipper and Mabel exchanged a glance. Gravity Malls was, by far, the smallest mall either of them had ever visited. You could see from one end of it to the other in a straight shot, and the anchor store was just a more popular chain's discount outlet location. Dipper muttered, "He's trying too hard to talk up the place."

Mabel giggled. "Maybe he's easily impressed."

Bill evidently didn't care. He was too busy taking in the sight of all the stores and all the people who didn't hate his guts (or, at least, didn't know they did). He chipperly said, "Hey there!" as he wove around a haggard teenage kiosk salesman.

"Hello?" Snapping into sales mode, the kiosk kid said, "Are you interested in genuine gold-plated signet rings? We have rings with dragons, eagles, Chinese characters, American flags, football teams..."

Bill did a u-turn without slowing down. "Boy, am I! You got any secret societies?"

Stan wrapped an arm around Bill's shoulders—"No, you're not interested."—and dragged him away. He lowered his voice. "What happened to no talking to anyone?"

Bill laughed. "Sorry, I got excited!"

"Uh-huh. Get 'excited' one more time, and I'll assume you're 'forgetting' the rules on purpose and we're going home."

Bill stopped laughing. "Okay, fine." He trudged alongside Stan, sulking.

####

Stan tried to direct them toward the discount outlet store; Bill looked wistfully at Edgy On Purpose; Mabel overruled them both by grabbing Bill's hand and bodily dragging him to the coolest store in the mall: 18th Century, the place where the almost-and-barely college kids shopped, and Mabel's newest fashion avatars now that she'd had a year to explore "teenage" fashion and had gotten over it. "You can tell it's for college kids, because they also sell bedsheets and inflatable furniture," she explained as they entered, just before abandoning Bill with Stan as she ran off to start collecting clothing on Bill's behalf. Bill and Stan side-eyed each other, and Bill drifted off toward the small home goods section.

"Ooh, Dipper look." Mabel pointed at a sales rack. "Out-of-season prom dresses! Those are the fanciest dresses!" She dove in eagerly, checking the size tags.

Dipper hovered behind her, hands stuffed deep in his pockets, trying to stand far enough away that it didn't look like he was an active participant in this shopping trip but not so far away that people might start wondering why a thirteen-year-old boy was in the dress section by himself. "Are you shopping for B—for Goldie, or for yourself?"

"For Goldie, obviously! He likes having a triangular silhouette, he needs dresses!"

"Does he want dresses?"

Mabel made a vague I dunno sound. "I haven't asked him yet."

"Maybe you should?"

"It's fine, I'm going to! He can tell me when he catches up!" Mabel pulled out a sequin-studded dress that looked like it had been constructed out of fluorescent pink peacock feathers. She paused. "Okay, it's not exactly his style, but do you think he might try it on anyway?"

Dipper groaned. "Mabel, he's a guy, he's not gonna try on a dress. He wears top hats and bow ties, remember?"

"I know, but... just for fun...?"

Dipper shook his head. Mabel sighed.

Bill rounded a rack of clothing, using a curtain rod he'd claimed out of the home goods section like it was a cane. "Hey, star girl. I know we're here on a focused mission, buuut do you think we could spare a minute to try something just for fun..." He trailed off as he and Mabel simultaneously realized they were both holding a pink peacock dress. Bill's face lit up. "Where have you been all my life?"

"Shut up! How are you this cool!"

"Where's the dressing room."

They took off for the back of the store, Bill tripping over a whole clothing rack as he went.

Dipper watched them uncomfortably, decided he didn't want to follow, and picked his way to the front of the store, where Stan was leaning in the doorway with his arms crossed tightly and a sour look on his face. Dipper asked, "Does it worry you how well Mabel and Goldie..."

"Ohhh yeah."

####

Bill swung open the dressing room door. "Well? Whaddaya think?" He fanned out the feathers as best he could with his hands.

"It's so beautiful," Mabel said.

"It's hideous," Stan said.

"It's kinda baggy around the shoulders and chest," Dipper said.

Bill shrugged. "I've got the shoulder span of a snake and the hips of a sumo wrestler, what do you expect?"

"It's okay, I can tailor anything we get," said Mabel, who had never tailored anything in her life but was sure she had a book on it in Piedmont.

"Tailor nothing," Stan said, "we're not getting this! What, are you crazy?"

Bill said, "Obviously."

Stan gestured at him. "What in the world would you wear this for?"

"Who cares? It looks cool and this body is merely a meat armature to drape coolness upon." Bill stepped back into the dressing room to eye the dress in the mirror. "Color's a little uniform, though. I'd need some accessories to break it up."

"I think you're right," Mabel said, stroking her chin. "You know what color goes best with hot pink?"

Simultaneously, she and Bill said, "Lime green," then cracked up and pointed at each other excitedly.

Stan and Dipper exchanged a tired look.

####

"How about this one?" Bill looked at Stan and Dipper, who were standing guard while Mabel searched for more clothes. "It's obviously the best shirt in the store, but is it me?" Bill was wearing a loose Hawaiian shirt covered in bright multicolored triangles with animal skin patterns—leopard, zebra, tiger, checkers—and a pair of black jeans that fit his hips but consequently drowned his ankles. "Trick question. It's me all over!" He laughed. His laughter petered out. "It's... it's more me than I am. Wow."

Dipper and Stan didn't laugh. "I'm a Hawaiian shirt kind of man," Stan said, "but if the choice was between that thing and going naked, I'd go naked."

"Keep your nudist fantasies to yourself, Stanley." Bill studied his reflection again. "The shirt's great, but they make the pants look dull. I need something that coordinates with it. But what..."

Mabel returned while Bill was musing on his shirt. She wordlessly held out the pair of cheetah/tiger print rainbow leggings she'd been retrieving. It matched the shirt perfectly, in the sense that they both had so many colors on them that inevitably some of those colors were accidentally the same.

Bill accepted the leggings with an expression close to awe. "You're a fashion genius," he said. "Are you sure you don't want your own planet?"

"Not from you," Mabel said.

And for a moment, Bill actually almost looked hurt.

####

Bill held up several shirts thoughtfully. The first was an eye-searing abomination; the second was a retina-burning nightmare; and the third was about the same, but it was covered in smiley faces, and somehow that made it worse.

"I feel like they'd all have the right psychological effect on my enemies," Bill said, "but all three is a little redundant, isn't it?"

Not looking, Stan asked, "Is the effect you're trying to have boring your enemies to death? Because it's working."

Bill scowled. He chucked all three at Stan's face. "Fine! Stick them in the 'maybe' pile, I'll narrow them down later." By this point, the "maybe" pile in Stan's arms was almost too big for him to carry.

"My willingness to indulge Mabel is losing to my annoyance at indulging you," Stan said. "I thought this was going to be a quick trip."

"Yeah, well, I'm kinda getting into it."

"Well, would you get out of it and dress like a normal person?"

"Okay, fine. I'll try on something subtle—"

"Goldie!" Mabel ran up waving a ruby red jacket over her head. "Look what I found in the clearance bin! Glittery vinyl!"

Bill's eyes widened.

Reverently, Mabel said, "It looks like a 50's diner booth."

"Is the picture on the back a—?"

"Yeah, it's a puking kangaroo."

Bill snatched the jacket from her hands. "I'll try something subtle after this."

Stan groaned. "I'm gonna stretch my legs." He dropped the "maybe" pile on the floor. "Dipper, make sure the demon doesn't try to end the world while I'm gone."

Dipper resigned himself to the fact that this shopping trip was never going to end, and curled up on the floor to wait to die.

####

"Now, this is a keeper," Bill said, examining the summer dress in the mirror. With Stan gone, Bill had a moment of leisure to properly inspect the way the fabric moved and draped. He was using the opportunity to grab the skirt and twirl it like a three-year-old who'd never worn a dress before. "It really speaks to me."

Mabel asked, "Is it because it's covered in—?"

"It's because it's covered in yellow triangles. I know what I like!" He spun around to see how the skirt flared out, tripped and fell over—"I meant to do that!"—and heaved himself back upright with his curtain rod cane. "I'm fine, shoo." He waved off Mabel's attempt to help, and brushed off the dress. "Too bad it looks weird with pants. I'd prefer my legs covered, but dresses are the only thing most human stores carry that flatter my shape, so what're you gonna do."

"What about more leggings?" Mabel asked.

"Do they have any black ones that don't look like cheap spandex?"

"I think I saw some that look like jeans!"

"It'll do. Good thinking, star girl."

"Any time, triangle... guy." Mabel paused. "Hey... just out of curiosity—since I don't think we ever really covered this, since you're an alien and all—aaare you a guy or a girl?"

"I'm a triangle! C'mon, you already know that."

Mabel opened her mouth to protest that Bill hadn't answered her question; hesitated as she realized that maybe, in fact, he had; and instead asked, "Is a triangle more like a guy or a girl?"

Bill paused as he gave the question a moment of contemplation; and then he said, "No, not really."

Dipper, who'd been using the "maybe" clothing pile as a pillow and pretending to ignore everything Bill did, finally gave in to the urge to glance over curiously.

Mabel concluded a triangle must be either in the exact middle of the scale, or else outside of it completely. "Oh! Okay."

Bill elbowed Mabel and said, "Keep this bit between you and me," blithely ignoring the fact that Dipper was totally within earshot and now seething about being ignored in return. "But if anyone else on this planet asks, I'll usually imply I'm a 'man,'" he put the word in finger quotes, as though he wasn't wholly convinced that "men" really existed, "but—that's strictly for business."

"Business?"

"You know, work stuff," Bill said dismissively. "It makes things easier. See, for the last few millennia, most humans have taken a male's suggestions a bit more seriously than a female's, even when the entity they're talking to is an all-knowing extra-dimensional divine alien angelic muse. Crazy, right?" He said this like he was imparting some great secret he'd figured out by himself.

"Ugh, yeah," Mabel groaned. "Sexism."

"Sexism," Bill sighed, as if he had any dog in this fight at all and wasn't just pretending he could commiserate with his only local friend. "So I figure I can get things done faster as a Bill than a Jill. But honestly? Your local gender system doesn't make any more difference to me than it would to you if somebody asked how many sides you have."

Mabel considered the matter of her hypothetical sides. "I feel like I'd have seven sides."

"Oho! I stand corrected." Bill laughed. "I would've pegged you as a pentagon. I'll remember that."

Mabel had no idea what information she'd just conveyed to Bill, but she felt like he was impressed she had an answer at all.

####

"How about this one?"

"I love it. It's so mysterious," Mabel said.

Stan said, "I thought you were gonna try on something subtle?"

"What's more subtle than camo! That's the whole point of it!"

Dipper said, "You're not wearing camo."

Bill looked down at his galaxy print tank top, galaxy print button up, galaxy print skirt, galaxy print leggings, and galaxy print sneakers. "I guess what counts as camouflage depends on the context."

"Wh—" Dipper blinked at Bill in disbelief. "In what context could this possibly qualify as camouflage?"

"Is that a trick question?"

Drily, Stan asked, "You got travel plans taking you to outer space anytime soon, pal?"

Bill's shoulders slumped.

"Now put on something you might actually wear," Stan said.

####

Bill opened the dressing room door with four sets of basic black leggings and pants, a couple shorts, and several plain tops in various shades of gold and yellow. "Okay, done."

"Not gonna model each of these for us?" Stan asked.

"Do you want me to?"

"No."

"Fine! You kids don't need to weigh in on these—they're not as fun as the other outfits you were busy unappreciating." Bill shoved the whole pile against Stan's chest, burying the "maybe" outfits he'd insisted he would narrow down. "Okay, let's go."

Stan scowled. "How many outfits did we agree to get you?"

"You didn't." Bill headed to the front of the store.

Mabel started to follow him, paused, glanced back at Stan, and said, "Maybe you can just... toss some of it back on the racks?"

"Maybe you can toss most of it," Dipper said. "How much does he really need, like two shirts and two pants?"

Mabel laughed. "Shut up, that's what you wear!"

Stan rolled his eyes, but headed to the front of the store with an armload of clothing.

The cashier smiled as Bill approached, read his "I BITE SALES PEOPLE" shirt, and quickly turned her attention to Stan. "Hi! Did you find everything you needed?"

"Yeah, and then some," he grumbled, shooting a look at Bill and Mabel. He dumped the pile of clothing on the counter with a heavy groan proportionate to the emotional weight of carrying Bill Cipher's shopping, and shoved his hands in his pockets. "Where'd I put my wallet?"

As the cashier scanned the clothes, took off the security tags, and stuffed them into bags, Stan alternated between snatching up the bags to sling them over his arms—looking grumpier with each one—and searching for his wallet. "I'm sure I put... ah-ha!" He withdrew it triumphantly. "There! I know I've got a twenty in here somewhere."

The cashier immediately stopped scanning to give Stan a perplexed look. Hopefully, she asked, "Will you be paying for the rest by card?"

"What do you mean, 'the rest'? How much could this stuff—?" Stan grabbed the price tag on one of the shirts, squinted at it, and grabbed his chest. "Holy moly! For one shirt? This is robbery!"

Mabel winced. "I guess it's a little bit pricier than the thrift shop, but it's not that bad—is it?"

"Not that bad?! For prices like this, it'd be cheaper to get a boat ticket to Taiwan and rob the sweatshop where they sew this stuff! Forget it!" He started sliding bags off his arms and tossing them back on the counter. "Keep them! We're not shopping here!"

"But Grunkle Stan!" Mabel grabbed his coat. "We just found a bunch of stuff that's perfect for Goldie! Please?"

"Do you think I care? He'd be wearing potato sacks if I had my way! We'll go to the outlet store, those are the prices he deserves."

Dipper groaned. "Do we have to do this whole thing all over again?" He and Mabel both looked pleadingly at Bill, waiting for him to protest the return of his carefully-curated wardrobe of tacky golden horrors.

Bill shrugged. "If he didn't bring enough money to the mall, there's nothing we can do about it now."

"Hey! This isn't on me! If it wasn't for you, we'd be at the Shop Thrifty right now!"

Bill scoffed. "Come on, Stanley. It's the 2010's. Even at a thrift store, how far do you think a Jackson's gonna carry you?"

"I think it'd get me a sock I could cram in your mouth, how do you like that?" Stan tossed the last bag on the counter, told the dismayed cashier, "And he looked ugly in everything he picked out, anyway," and stomped toward the door.

"I'm so sorry," Mabel said to the cashier, and hurried after Stan with Dipper. "But Grunkle Stan, we found so many nice things here! We could at least get a couple shirts or leggings..."

"Hey," Bill said. "It's okay, kid."

Mabel shut her mouth, but she didn't look happy about it.

The party trailed behind Stan past a couple of stores, before Bill sped up to walk alongside him and asked, "Well? What's our haul?"

Stan grunted. "What?"

A slow, sly grin spread across Bill's face. "Come on. You can fool the humans, but you can't fool me. What's our haul?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Bill raised a brow.

Stan only lasted a couple of seconds before he cracked a mischievous smile as well. "Oh, did you mean this haul?" He rummaged in his pockets and pulled out a pair of leggings. And then another pair. And then, from his other pocket, a Hawaiian shirt. And—

Mabel gasped. "Grunkle Stan," she hissed. "You didn't!"

"Aw, man." Dipper smacked his forehead. "So all that was an act?"

—and three pairs of socks out of his jacket sleeve, and a dress from his inner coat pocket, and— "Yeeep. I've still got it."

Mabel and Dipper exchanged an exasperated look.

"And you were gonna hit the thrift store." Bill lifted his sunglasses so Stan could see him roll his eye.

"Hey, they've usually got less security than the mall. It's a safer score."

"Cheaper, too."

"You shut up! I'd like to see you do as well."

A bright smile snapped across Bill's face. "Would you! Then get a load of this—" He showed off the front and back of one empty hand, then the other; curled one into a fist; pushed his fingers into the fist and plucked out a corner of fabric; and then, like a magician revealing a long line of scarves tied at the corners, pulled out one garment after another, shirts and skirts and pants. Mabel buried her face in her hands. Dipper looked around like he expected mall security to run up and immediately arrest them all. Bill said, "What'd we lift, almost half the stuff I picked? Neither of us managed to get the kangaroo jacket, did we."

"How did you..." Stan trailed off, jaw dropped.

Bill smugly stuffed the clothing back under his tank top. "All that, and... these." Bill lifted one foot and wiggled it, showing off the yellow foam clogs he'd changed into.

"You just walked out with those on?"

"Sure! You'd be amazed what you can do in plain sight—as long as you don't call attention to it."

"Where the heck are your sandals?"

"Not my problem." Bill gestured vaguely back toward 18th Century with his curtain rod cane. "From the lost-and-found they came, to the lost-and-found they shall return."

Stan, having had his attention called to the curtain rod cane, snatched it out of Bill's hand with a muttered "No weapons," and tossed it in a nearby trash can. Bill watched it go with an expression of miffed resignation. Stan said, "Okay, but how'd you get the security tags off all of those?"

And Bill's grin was back. "Maybe I'll show you—if you show me how you got all that clothing out of those bags into your pockets."

"I thought you were watching."

"My eye is better than my physical coordination. Give me a couple pointers and I'll give you a couple."

Stan looked doubtful. "I just saw you hide half a suitcase under a tank top. I don't think you need any more help with..."

"I'll sweeten the deal," Bill said. "I'm not really a clogs guy. You set me up to walk out with a pair of proper dress shoes, and I'll help you grab a couple rings from that booth at the door?"

Stan scowled. Bill grinned wider. "Come ooon. I know you were eyeing those rings too."

"If we get caught and you throw me under the bus, I'm dragging you down with me."

"I wouldn't dream of it! I don't think either of us can afford to show up on the police's radar, do you?"

"All right, fine. You've got yourself a deal, Cipher."

Mabel silently slid her cell phone over to Dipper so he could text Soos and Ford about this unsettling development.

####

(Thanks for reading!! As always, if you made it this far I deeply appreciate any thoughts & comments you want to share! Stay tuned next week for the unsettling development to get Even Worse.)

#bill cipher #human bill cipher #gravity falls #gravity falls fanart #gravity falls fic #my writing #my art #fanart #bill goldilocks cipher

163 notes · View notes

lloydfrontera · 3 months

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what do you think of the scenario if kim suho got isekai'd to lloyd's twin instead and og lloyd still exist and not have his soul kicked out?

you mean an au where he reincarnates as a completely new character that doesn't exist in tkobai?? that would be cute i guess

if he kept all of his memories i think it would be very frustrating for him to be a baby all over again. i'm thinking a mabel from baby tyrant kind of scenario lol

he'd have to wait five years until javier and julian are even born and then five years more for the plot to even start to get its grabby claws on them what with javier losing his parents at that age. i think he would do his best to stop that from happening, and while i have my doubts on how much a ten year old would be able to do for what seems to be a violent attack from,, something,, he is lloyd so i'm sure he would figure something out.

he would put a stop to og lloyd's bullying of julian for sure. he has the added bonus of also being a ten year old so there's absolutely no issue with him throwing hands with him if need be lmao

i'm thinking this kind of energy but they're both fifth graders aksddsf

lloyd would never hurt a child but does it really count if they're both eleven and also assholes lol

i don't think the restoration of fate would be very happy with him deviating the plot and stealing its darling tragic protagonist from it so early on so it would probably make javier's parents die some other way in an unrelated attack or an accident. lloyd would be devastated about it, for not being able to spare javier that pain, but as fate got what it wanted for the time being he would have no reason to be more than passingly suspicious about it.

after all it takes another fifteen years for the plot to properly start. as tragic as javier's parents dying is, their death is nothing more than a way to get javier to the fronteras where he will grow to be knight and be in the right place at the right time to become the protagonist he was always meant to be.

so lloyd gets fifteen years of peace with two loving parents, a twin he dragged kicking and screaming into being a decent person and two little brothers who think he hung the moon and stars. i think he would accidentally get a reputation for being a little genius, simply because he knows things that are far too advanced for his age but i don't think he would push to do great feats as a kid. he's got everything he wants already. he just needs to keep it like that.

i do think he would successfully stop arcos from being scammed by tordes, either because their better relationship makes arcos uninterested in whatever the guy has to offer or because lloyd sees tordes sniffing around his home and immediately starts throwing hands lol

fate would find another way to put them in trouble though. it always does.

#hey i got an ask #Anonymous #tged #the greatest estate developer #lloyd frontera

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mabelstone · 3 months

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Boy Next Door

matt stone x fem reader

i'm back. mabel finish a fic before starting a new one challenge i don't want to write Y/N anymore so for now i will use [name] as a filler LOL is that even worse? this was one of the first ideas i ever had and i'm sure its widely overused on here but i really loved writing this. will probably turn it into a series lol we'll see but at least one or two more parts to come xx

The removal of the sold sign and the influx of moving vans this past week was a dead give away that I now had a new neighbour. I seriously prayed for someone cool to move in, as I have an almost certain suspicion that the previous owners were drug dealers. I hadn't actually seen them yet and I wasn't planning on going over and introducing myself as my neighbourhood was notorious for keeping to itself. Unless you count that awkward wave you give to the person across the street when you're taking out your bins at the same time. It was a quiet place, all the more reason to love it. We were all living in synchronous harmony in our quiet, private little bubbles.

I had a routine of hitting the hay around 9:30pm, 10pm on a bad night, which in itself was a luxury. Tonight, I'd already set myself up. Fed the dog, fed myself, showered, watched a bit of telly, then got cosy in bed around 9pm. I turned off my TV, and that's when I noticed the repetitious bumping of heavy bass brought to life by the speakers next door. It's okay, I told myself, closing my eyes and trying block out the sound best I could. Is it getting louder? I suspected I may be paranoid or hyper focused on the sound because I have work at 6am. I ended up dozing off, thankfully.

Then the next thing I knew, I was being awoken by a loud smash of glass, and an even louder, "aw, come on, man! You're paying for that!"

I couldn't have been imagining it, because now instead of a steady thump of bass, I could now hear loud and clear the lyrics to MAAD City by Kendrick Lamar as if he were performing a live concert in my bedroom. I rolled over to check my phone. 11:45pm. That's it.

I - a bit dramatically, I must admit - threw my blankets off and threw on my dressing gown, storming out my front door in my stupid bunny head slippers. Despite the great choice of music, I was absolutely furious, the bass bumping so hard as I approached the door, I could feel it in my chest. I knocked on the door so hard my knuckles stung. No answer. I waited a moment, then proceeded to bash on the door with all my might. A few moments later, my hands on my hips and a scowl on my face that screamed, 'I don't care if you think I'm lame, you've royally pissed me off,' the door opened.

A man with kind of short, kind of long, curly brown hair stood before me with ugly oval rimmed glasses, an aquiline nose, and a bottle of beer in his hand. "...hello?" The look on his face almost read, do I know you?

"Hello. I live next door," I huffed, arms now tightly crossed over my chest. Don't get angry, compose yourself. "It's almost midnight on a Sunday. Could you please... tone it down a bit?"

“Oh absolutely, sorry, miss…?”

“[Name]”

"Well, nice to meet you," he reached his hand out to shake mine, which I begrudgingly accepted, a little gap in his teeth on display. "I'll turn it down right now." He pulled out his phone and showed me him pressing the volume down button repeatedly, the music complying.

"Thank you." I wasn't interested in chatting, instead I stormed back into my house with an emphatic sigh, slamming the door behind me. I shucked off my gown and climbed back into bed, grateful that now I'd hopefully get an okay sleep.

Nope.

Less than ten minutes later, the music is cranked back up and now theres a ball repeatedly hitting my fence. "For God's sake," I yelled to nobody, charging for the neighbours house barefooted.

I was so angry at this point, I didn't even care that I was in skimpy little Victoria's Secret pyjamas I'd owned since high school.

As I shamelessly bashed on his door, I tried to block out the little voice in my head that pleaded, just let it go, and, your actions have consequences. Absolutely livid, I waited, and waited. My fist inches away from punching a hole through the door, it opened once more.

The same curly headed man from earlier, this time more noticeably inebriated. Or high. Please, for the love of God, just be an occasional user and not a dealer. “Well, what a pleasant surprise! Decided to come party?”

“No, I did not come to party!” I snapped, my anger seemingly unleashing itself in the form of a foot stomp, similarly to how a spoilt 5 year old would. “I want you to have some respect and turn this shit down! Or better yet, off!”

One of his friends appeared in the doorway, eyes half lidded and probably the same shade of red as my face currently. "That's not party attire," he snorted, being pulled away by someone in a... Spiderman costume? What kind of party is this?

I sighed deeply, pinching the upper bridge of my nose with eyes screwed shut as tightly as my fist. I was on the verge of tears, and I think he noticed by the way he quickly dropped his act.

“Okay, okay. I'm turning it off right now.” He must've realised how much of an inconsiderate dick he was being. He reached into his pocket and turned off the music, sighing down at me. I heard a few short lived groans from the other side of the door. An annoyed, “duuuude that was my song,” before the drunken chatter quickly resumed.

“Thanks,” I muttered, yawning into my hand (for dramatic effect, of course).

“Matt, bring the lady in,” one guy slurred against the door frame as if I wasn't even there. “Wanna play basketball with her,” he professed, before stumbling back into the house.

“Oh, yeah, if that ball hits my fence one more time I'll tear it down and beat you with the wood.” I walked away after this, feeling quite proud of myself, actually. We should normalise occasional temper tantrums in adults.

Thankfully, the music remained off as I got back in bed, almost immediately drifting off.

BANG. Then that fucking ball hit my fence again, followed by followed by my new neighbour scolding someone indistinguishably. Then, in a slightly louder voice intended for my ears, “sorry, [name].”

Due to my disrupted sleep last night, I nearly slept in. I confess, I am a bit of a princess with my sleep. I spent my morning racing around like a headless chicken, spilling coffee all over my white blouse, having to change, which pushed me back another minute. I rushed out to my car, only to find, to my demise, I've been blocked in. Some random vehicle, probably belonging to one of the degenerates next door, hanging 3/4 over my driveway.

Almost with a feeling synonymous with deja-vu, I flounced to the neighbours', determined to fuck his shit up, to put it plainly. I pounded on the door impatiently with both fists, tapping my foot while I waited. A random man clad in a t-shirt depicting a stick figure humping the word 'IT' answered the door.

“Excuse me, who’s car is this?” I pointed to the car blocking my driveway, eyebrows raised expectantly.

“Fuck, dude, I was sleeping,” he groaned, and I didn't even try and hide my eye roll. Karma, I thought. “I don’t know,” he rubbed his eyes like a child, thinning my already impossibly thin patience.

“Where is Matt?”

“Probably sleeping, man, it’s like, barely even morning yet.”

I was painfully close to losing my temper. To avoid combusting on the spot, I sighed and pushed past the potentially still drunk guest. Or maybe other new neighbour. I sure hope not.

I scrunched my nose up at the state of his place - beer bottles strewn everywhere, the stale smell of cigarettes and weed clinging to the furniture, guests were passed out in each corner of the living room. I hugged my handbag close to me and stepped over the scattered limbs like a contortionist dodging laser beams, adamant on disrupting Matt's slumber like he had mine. I navigated his long hallway, pushing open every door, scoffing at the half naked bloke with two naked women clinging to either side of him. I near shuddered in disgust, wanting nothing more than to disinfect my entire body after being in the war zone of his house. Maybe I was only being so judgemental because I was irrevocably angry. Maybe.

I eventually found his room, which to my surprise, was almost compulsively clean and ordered with Patrick Bateman level precision. I stood before his bed with folded arms and wondered to myself if maybe he'd think I had some kind of bone disfigurement that kept my arms bent across me. I quickly relaxed them at my side.

"Matt," I spoke sternly. He didn't even stir. I bent down close to his face, raising my voice this time. "Matt."

Finally, his eyes flung open and he jumped, clamping a hand over his chest as if to stop it from bursting through his skin. “Fuck!” he panted softly. I rolled my eyes at him as he caught his breath and pulled away. As if deliberately oblivious, he stretched and spoke halfway through a groan, “to what do I owe this pleasure?”

“Who’s car is parked over my driveway?”

“I have no clue,” he breathed as he smooshed his face into his pillow, voice still thick and croaky with sleep. His hair was unruly, but his glasses were neatly folded on his bedside table beside a glass of water and a packet of Advil.

“I’m going to be late for work,” I exclaimed as calmly as possible, though I was on the verge of a tantrum. I was oddly self conscious that he'd only seen me furious. “Whoever it belongs to, it needs to be moved. Like, five minutes ago.”

“Alright,” he sighed, groggily pushing the blanket from his body and sliding his glasses on, only clad in pyjama pants with m&m’s printed all over them.

He lead me through the dormant chaos of his house, even scrunching up his face from the mess. Or maybe the smell. He pushed a blind to the side and glanced out onto the street, seeing the culprit; a silver Mitsubishi Lancer. He then walked over to the supposed owner, kicking him softly in the side where he was laying on the floor. “Move your car, dude.”

The man just groaned and patted his jean pocket, face smushed into the little couch cushion beneath him, weakly handing the keys to Matt. He just rolled his eyes and trudged out the front, and I followed close enough behind that I almost nicked his heels with every step.

He clambered into the drivers seat with the air of a zombie, pulling the car onto the side of the road. I wasted no time getting into my car, reversing out of the driveway and rolling down my window, pulling up beside him. “Thank you,” I smiled with genuine appreciation, watching him run a hand through his hair in my rear view as I drove away.

#matt stone #matt stone x reader

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sleepsentry · 8 months

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Hoooooooooboyyyyyyyyy...

I've spent most of my years in the gravity falls fandom as a kid/teen.

And I kinda resent seeing adult fans turn a comforting kids show about embracing your inner kid and not being ashamed of fun, into a dramatic, petty morality obsessed, soap opera...

Like- its really uncomfortable the way most of the adult characters are depicted in fanon, it doesn't feel "more realistic" it feels like the adult fans are kind of ashamed of any interpretation that isn't "acceptably mature".

______

For example: The way Stan and Ford are turned into the worst versions of Batman.

Stan and Ford are often depicted with a subtle but important edge that isn't necessarily present in canon.

Especially in fanworks wich focuse on them instead of the broader family.

As if their softer, goofier sides are just a front for the sake of the kids rather than fundamental parts of who they are as characters.

They're not.

They're just as important as their more "serious grown up moments"

Stan and Ford aren't adult characters in an adult show, they're adult characters in a kids show and their silliness is essential.

Their approachable, softer, kinder, moments, are vital, as authority figures in a show where the intended audience is expected to relate to the children they are responsible for.

Their vulnerability and screwing up is an important aspect of the show, showing kids that adults don't know everything and it's important to question them when they make mistakes.

"Adults are often just as afraid as you are and it's OK for them to express that, it's also important that they don't make it you're responsibility to deal with" is at the core of the way Stan, Ford and most adults in the show are depicted.

It's a comforting and affirming theme to have in a show about two kids on the brink of losing that childhood wonder, or at least afraid of losing it.

As Mabel says:

"They got... stupid. Promise me we won't get stupid."

______

I've seen so many adults make these characters more "adult" to appeal to them and it isn't even bad, it's just uncomfortable... it feels wrong.

Fiddleford is another adult character that I often see treated like this:

A lot of depictions of younger fidds I've seen (especially within the context of shipping him with ford) basically turn him into a conflicted love interest lady having an affair with her negligent boss in a stupid 80s movie-

I'm not getting into how fiddauthor is being used as a "safe ship" by the broader fandom and being stripped of its nature as a character dynamic and used as a tool to excuse morality based shaming and harassment by grown adults over stupid cartoon men-with cucumber shaped noses

It gives off similar vibes to certain queer peeps appealing to homophobes by throwing less "digestible" queer people under the bus and its not that serious its cartoon shipping for fucks sake

it's so uncomfortable when you remember he's a silly little hillbilly man.

His name is FIDDLEFORD.

MC. GUCKET. (•□•)

He's got depth and serious moments for days but he's also introduced screaming and jigging and slapping a sandwich out of someone's hands.

He contains multitudes withing his vegetable shaped head.

He's not Ford's frustrated underpaid secretary (as funny as that sounds)

______

Emotional depth and maturity aren't exclusively adult things.

The bloody "Goofy Movie" isn't suddenly an adult film because it has moments of quiet maturity and melancholy, along-side the expected goofyness.

That sense of quiet maturity isn't age locked in reality and I'm so tired of it feeling like it is.

It's not wrong or bad to depict more mature things with a story and characters aimed at kids.

But I think it's very disingenuous to dismiss the lighter elements in favour of the moments that "go over kids heads" they don't.

Even if the kid doesn't understand the adult joke, they can tell something is off and it's annoying how smug grown ups are about it.

I know Gravity Falls itself has that tone so I might aswell be complaining about fire burning or ice melting.

But it's taken to such extremes that it makes my inner kid feel like grown ups are twisting one of the few things I have and making it about themselves again... that's uncomfortably personal and petty I know.

But the reality is, that's been my experience for the majority of my time in this fandom.

Only in the past few years have I grown out of the "baby fan" vibe and it's going to shape my reactions to fanworks regardless.

______

For another example cartoon characters swearing isn't bad.

But it's jarring when adult behaviours (which more often than not means behaving like an ass) are superimposed onto child friendly characters, and these behaviours are taken for granted as "more realistic and natural" it's just... like no that's not true.

There are adults who don't like swearing or drinking or smoking, there are kids I knew when I was little (11 - 14) who enjoyed doing all those things for better or worse.

Seeing Teenagers complaining about 40+ year old characters being "infantilised" or "UwU-ified" as if grown ups can't be vulnerable is just saddening.

Adult female fans complaining that male characters aren't "man enough" is kinda scary to be honest, especially when those softer depictions are usually from teens and maybe even young boys/men in my case.

The problem is behaviours and perspectives are so strictly coded and enforced that even in a sub-community of a sub-community you get people enforcing arbitrary codes of conduct or depiction.

It's a kids show.

Relax.

He said to himself as much as whoever bothered to read this far.

I'm gonna go have a glass of water and some fresh air, if you've read this far I'd recommend doing so too but also, despite the tone of this wall of text, I'm not your dad.

#gravity falls #not art #rant #text post #long post #im being a killjoy again

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quotidian-oblivion · 5 months

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✨Out of context lines shitpost Pt. 8✨

Part 7

Quo: This is it... our last day of childcare course. And... *sighs* I'm getting choked up. I met @mispeltnostalgia and got to know her well through this course and she's been the best irl fanfic buddy and older brother despite being a year younger than me ever.

Nog: These out of context things have made me so happy and its fun to look back and remember the funny shit that we have said and done this year. this deffo won't be the last though. Quo and I will forever be saying and doing stupid shit. Quo is the best little sister ever and while I'll miss our fridays together she cant get rid of me. I know too many of her fanfics and she's beta-ing my works.

Quo: You beta-ed a couple of mine too!

We'll still be posting the out of context lines, but there are going to be longer gaps since we're not gonna meet on Fridays anymore :( There's still our weekly study sessions that we dubbed TEAS on Wednesday!

Tim: *holding a ball of wool to Jason’s face as a pretend mic* What do you say about the Curse you just found out you have Jason: *clears throat* I hope it kills me. ~ Jason: What do you have to say about your Curse? Tim: …I’ve had it since I was fucking born. ~ Barbara: So I bought a pack of quick oats because I love oats. And then I bought another pack of overnight oats because it had yoghurt, and now I’m just realizing that I really am just a horse. Little Shit Young!Jason: THAT’S WHAT I’VE BEEN SAYING. ~ Damian: I’ve been able to find a knife, I’ve been able to find a fork, but I can’t find a spoon. Jon: You have all the stabby objects in your bag Damian: I also have a fuckton of crochet hooks and— a pocket watch?? *pulls out pocket watch* Where the fuck is my spoon. ~ Steph: So I was getting pumped up for this song but then I just hear this tiny Alvin and the chipmunks voice say “Party Rock” and it just dashed my hopes. Listen to this *Plays Party Rock Anthem”. Damian: … Steph: Like, imagine getting pumped up for one of your childhood songs then you just suddenly hear “party rock” in this high-pitched voice and I felt like killing myself. Damian: … Steph: And hear me out— Damian: I don’t think i want to hear you out anymore. Steph: *Continues to play Bad Romance covered by the Alvin and the Chipmunks” ~ Tim: *Watching a video of Bruce* Bart: Wait, your dad sounds American. Bart: And he speaks kind of like you too! Tim: Yeah, I wonder why my American dad who raised me sounds and has the same speech patterns as me. Hmm, good question. Bart: I just wasn’t expecting it. I forgot that American dads were a thing. ~ Steph: i am granting you the honor of waffle ~ Barbara: *looking for a place to put popcorn. Places the popcorn against Dick’s lap* Dick: hell yeah crotch popcorn! Omg crotchcorn! Barbara: Please don't. ~ Bruce: You have to be very careful out there. These racist attacks are getting worse. Dick: Don't worry, Pops. I'm with a white person, I'll be fine. Barbara: *chokes on her drink with laughter* ~ Tim: *mixes soda water, energy drink and trace amounts of tea together in a tumbler* For funsies. *chugs it* ~ Jason: *falls to the floor, crumbles and silently screams in a public library* Barbara: Stop it, you’re embarrassing yourself Jason: I’m a drama kid, I can do whatever I want ~ Steph: *singing* I am not a quitter Tim: *singing with her* Pocket full of glitter Steph: Yarn balls, I’m a knitter! Steph and Tim: *singing together* I’m the whole package, baby! Tim: I haven’t met you Steph: But if you’re staaable Tim and Steph: Then here’s my number! And call me Mabel! ~ Alfred: *grabs Bruce by the shoulders and shakes* BE PRODUCTIVE! ~ Steph: IS THAT A PURPLE BALLOON??? Steph: *walks over, picks it up, and carries it like a baby* *whispers* I’m pregnant ~ Damian, high on pain meds: *giggling while he draws Tim falling off a roof* whee whee, hee hee, I’m so funny. Hee hee hee. He’s falling off a building.

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seiya234 · 6 months

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family tree

for the godmod themself, @zilleniose / @zillychu , who wrote half of this. happy 9th anniversary to your brain baby.

----

"How was your day at school kids?"

The triplets, who had just been picked up by their uncle, looked at Henry briefly, and then back to what they were doing.

Henry was not prepared for the casual emotional devastation that kindergartners dished out on a regular basis.

Eventually, Acacia, who had made a bee line for her crayons as soon as they got home, offered up a "We learned about in-laws today."

"Oh really?"

(wait really? School was so different than when he was growing up.)

Hank, who had been eating cheese crackers, nodded. "Yeah there's like, mom in laws and dad in laws and grandma in laws and cousins in laws and-"

Before Hank could take every relative name he could think of and add the term "in laws" at the end of it, Acacia interrupted him.

"Dad! Daddy! D A D-"

"A little quieter please but yes Acacia?"

"Are there..... dog in laws ?

Mabel, who had immaculate comedic timing, happened to walk in from the Library in time to hear and go "Girl, I wish."

"Aw. Can Gompers be our goat in law?"

"I don't thi-" Henry started but Mabel interrupted with "Absolutely!"

Dipper blipped in, blood on his hands.

"Absolutely what?"

"That Gompers is our goat in law," Mabel informed him.

"That I absolutely asked for you to wash your hands if they have effluvia on them," Henry added.

Dipper began to lick them and the triplets giggled.

"Uncle Dipper you're so groooooooooooooss," Acacia moaned.

"Awesome! My plan succeeded!" crowed Dipper, a demon who totally did not just get bodied by a five year old.

"There's germs Uncle Dipper. We learned about that last week." Hank paused. "Also that you should wash your hands when they get dirty."

"They're not dirty, they're bloody, see?" He held them up and the kids giggled again.

"We have, um, a normal in law in our house." Willow, who had been reading her new library book in the corner of the room, finally spoke up.

"Oh do we now? Who do we have?" Dipper asked, gnawing at his nails to get the blood crusted underneath out.

"OH I KNOW I KNOW THE ANSWER I KNOW IT IT'S UH-"

Henry foresaw another parent teacher conference in the future.

"UH ITS-" Acacia looked at Hank. "I forgot the word."

"I did too."

"It's polycule."

Dipper immediately spat blood across the room; literally, ten feet across the living room, and the kids immediately began screaming. Henry looked to Mabel for help, but instead saw his wife on the floor, clutching her sides and laughing so hard he was worried she was going to hurt herself.

"Wow," Henry managed to finally say. "Times sure are different in schools now."

#transcendence au #seiya writes!

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nayialovecat · 7 months

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The Ink Demonth 2023 - Day 30. Duck

Day 30. Duck Crossover: DuckTales "Let's split up," said Scrooge McDuck. Because what could go wrong? :D

In his "youth", Scrooge McDuck had so many adventures, sometimes accompanied by teenage Donald and Della Duck, that I assume they may have ventured into an abandoned, strange animation studio in the 1960s... Whenever I think about Della and Donald's past, I imagine her as a carefree, hyperactive girl running forward screaming "adventure" - and him as a sensible, prepared for everything, skeptical young man. Please don't deny my imaginations.

I love DuckTales. I watched this cartoon when I was a little girl - I even had a radio play based on a time travel episode on cassette. I learned to draw characters and their expressions using Donald Duck newspapers, using the tracing method on the glass. Comics about Donald was probably first I ever made. Donald Duck, his large family and, above all, Scrooge, whom I adored - this was a large part of my early childhood. Unfortunately, unlike W.I.T.C.H. my huge collection of Donald Duck and Gigants issues didn't survive - one day I discovered that my mother simply took everything and gave it to some library, hospital or simply threw it into the trash. I was very sorry :c

Let's talk about the DuckTales reboot for a moment. Generally, as an huge fan of various things, I am often quite skeptical about new products, reboots or new series and I'm strict in my assessment. Sometimes I will get into a new series, but often I will say "it's not as good as the original" (because very often it's not). But in the case of DuckTales, I think the reboot is wonderful. The characters have been refreshed, the nephews have gained individuality, Donald Duck has gained a much nicer character (just like Daisy). Sometimes a little voice inside me says "wait a minute, no, it was different in the canon" - but then I say to myself "but this is a different canon." There are three things that irritate me and I can't forgive for the reboot. The first one is Gyro. What the hell did they do to him? Where is my lovable, overworked scientist, too polite and gentle to refuse Scrooge a job for a miserable salary? No, Gyro is terrible in the reboot, I hate every single second of the show with him on the screen. The second one is Magica de Spell. Why is she completely, absolutely and totally evil? This was not the Magica whose adventures I read and loved! What did they do to her? Where is Magica's love for family (i.e. her niece)? Where's Magica, who treats Scrooge as her frenemy? Where's Magica, who cries her sorrows to her broom and is bound by a cursed fate to Number One Dime? They made her the main villain, completely leaving out cool criminals like the Beagle Boys! And the last one, but I should actually start with this... a drawing style. This one repels me. These square heads and crude drawing style irritate me terribly. But then I saw a new series of classic Disney cartoons featuring Donald, Mickey and Goofy - and I realized that there are worse drawn things. Of course, there are still a few things that irritate me, but I often dismiss them - and I enjoy watching the reboot.

Finally, I will just say that although I really like the past of the characters in the reboot, I am irritated by Della's character. I do not like her. Maybe it has to do with the fact that, being a mother myself, I give my child the highest priority - a woman abandoning her tiny children to satisfy her ambitions is something incomprehensible to me - I have neither respect nor pity for Della and I believe that family (or at least her children) should reject her and be unwilling to forgive her. I know that's a cruel opinion. I haven't watched the entire series, but the episodes I've seen of her return irritated me. I admire Donald's composure. I would probably totally beat up my sister if I were in his place. Della also annoys me in all the episodes with her and Donald's past. She's almost as annoying as Mabel from Gravity Falls.

Bendy and the Ink Machine (c) Joey Drew Studios Inc. DuckTales (c) Disney Sammy and the Ink Machine (c) Nayia Lovecat

#The Ink Demonth #Bendy and the Ink Machine #Sammy and the Ink Machine #BATIM #SATIM #DuckTales #Scrooge McDuck #Donald Duck #Della Duck #Bendy (suggestion)#Ink Demon (suggestion)#Ink Bendy (suggestion)#Boris #poster #back to the Workshop #The Ink Demonth 2023 #crossover

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nochi-quinn · 5 months

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candela obscura chapter 3 episode 1: oh god everybody's fucked up

I'm here, I fell asleep and missed the start but I'm here

lmao the immediate note-taking

ur really committing to that voice huh liam

marisha made an older character and liam said hold my dentures

STEAMPUNK JAZZY

heyyyy someone else makes the joke I picked up from a stargate episode 20 years ago

liam what was that look

absolutely love ashly's wig

sam looking like he got hit with a cattle prod

what's a sam reigel

why are we getting oscar's CV

"are they hot"

listen I saw the trailer he 100% uses that chain to beat people with

"no one calls you carey, oscar"

oh no he's hot

oh he's kotallo, that's why

the flat cap does look good on sam, I can't lie

y'all that's gay

I like cordelia's little halo

eloise best character

(maybe that's the look liam was giving ashly, eloise vs elsie)

elsie's a werewolf calling it

yesss the old people guilt trip

liam

oscar: I'm gonna punch a ghost

"you're wearing a ball gown. it's the morning."

the maw??

haha it took me until literally this moment to remember ashly is aloy, my ship is reunited

"I'm using my bullshit detector" did you get that cleared with the gm

I like the term "blood and guts doctor"

I've been watching S1G play Slay the Princess and the more they describe her the more she sounds like a Princess variant

oh no lights

liam you did that on purpose

oh Aadtika (?) is a very pretty name

"lung, heart" liver, nerves

"you have an extra house?" "you don't?"

rajan

"you slick son of a bitch"

he IS a slick son of a bitch

oh sam's being THAT character

prepared to spend three episodes threatening to punch oscar in the head and throw him in the pool

("nochi nobody read your free! livetweets" well maybe they should have)

sam doesn't watch the product

liam always wants to roleplay fish and chips

[picks elsie and raj up and shakes them until backstory falls out]

"I'll be as subtle as I can be" smash cut to him beating someone to death with a chain

the docks seems like a terrible place to play baseball

sam

did they do a dndbeyond for candela?

they did!

sam forgot he was short

"high stakes not for harm" but bc it's funny

rajan: oh I am NOT involved, you made that VERY clear

"don't waste that on me" "I agree"

I'm being gaslit bc I've always pronounced "copse" like "cope" with an "s" in it

shades of the old man at my previous psych office yelling about obama's secret weather machine

"I help by SCREAMING"

grandpa's making a wheel for it

[mabel pines voice] grappling hook!

the way sam rolls dice STILL kills me

oh good, everyone else also thinks they should fuck

"why can't we just be friends? oh right, because I don't like you."

what the fuck's a flashlight

"yeah! temperature play! :D" aabria

"do you go down my little hole" "of course!" aren't y'all divorced

oh no an ot3

don't say degloved that means something else

oh I dig that

werewolf!

lights!

were….thing!

oh no aabria's doing the voice

everything goes black, and you die

l…lights?

breathing?

how could crcw not have prepared me for this

immortal asshole oscar grimm

EXCUSE

oh he's an asshole because he gave up the non-asshole bits to bargain with death

hey sam what the fuck

oh hey ashly. ow.

thump thumps? why?

loud??

imagine if oscar coming back just freaked elsie right back into beast mode

there's another hour left of this wtf happens

yessssss "I'd take a bullet for him but I wouldn't go drinking with him" my beloved

local woman realizing that everyone around her is an absolute freak

liam's startled old man noise

"ohhh I'm not good at that"

ACTION GLASSES

wait I don't understand what he just did

oh he did a drug

little bird ;-;

his WHAT

chairsword!

it glows blue when there are nuns nearby

where's that one digital devil saga monster

I desperately need an artist's rendition of this orca-mantis-thing

excuse me

I keep missing the spelling of his sister's name

"oh god everybody's fucked up"

A WHAT built in his WHAT

augh eye stuff no quiero

is noshir lefthanded?

I kind of half-called that

"that felt like twenty. that was a season."

BEEKEEPER

"do you know you're covered in bees?"

I like my women like I like my coffee

"because yours is super chill"

liam you can uncommit to the voice

(he will not)

"drop the skincare routine"

#candela obscura #critical role #spoilers #liveblog #reaction post #candelatag #crititag

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mabi-lune · 1 year

Text

Crush, Richard Siken/The Silt Verses/The Magnus Archives/ Malevolent/ Mabel/ The Grip of It, Jac Jemc

(Something something about how you can hurt the one person going through all the horrors with you)

Image ID: text compilation

1-I never liked that ending either. More love streaming out the wrong way, and I don’t want to be the kind that says the wrong way.

2-Faulkner: Make for the river. You know the way. I’m sorry. (Carpenter realizes what he’s about to do). Carpenter (raw and vulnerable): Brother. Please don’t. Faulkner (wretchedly): I’m so sorry.

3- I took the bullet for all the wrong reasons, I’d just as soon kill you myself, I say. / You keep saying I owe you, I owe…but you say the same thing every time. / Let’s not talk about it, let’s just not talk.

4-MARTIN: You know I can’t do it, not now; you don’t want to blind yourself; you don’t want to die; what you want is a reason to not do those things, so – you come to me. Well, you’re welcome. B-because I can’t follow you on this one.

ARCHIVIST: The Lonely’s really got you, hasn’t it?

MARTIN: (no hesitation) You know, I think it always did.

5- Arthur: So you’ve been using me from the start.

John: You always knew that.

6-MABEL: What? What? What? What what what what do you want? What do you really want, Anna, what do you have to shelter me from, what do you think I can't take?

ANNA: I just want to talk to you! I just want to have a conversation, not - us- as-archetypes, not you burning and me skeletal and both of us trapped here under the ground, I just want to. I just want to sit down and talk, I just want to - I want to hear you, I don't - I don't even know why I'm yelling, I –

7-I want to flip the light on and scream. I want to rock James and say, “James, you said this was over” and also “I feel like something’s gone wrong in me”, but instead I crawl under the blanket with him and place a hand on his smooth back and rest my lips on his shoulder and I pray.

8- Carpenter (weakly): Just wait- Faulkner listen for just one second, listen to me.

Faulkner (coldly): No. No, I’m not going to.

9-ARTHUR: We’re not ever going to get back to that, John.

JOHN: I know.

ARTHUR: Too much has been said. Too much pain. Too many lies.

JOHN: I know.

ARTHUR: So we’ll try again.

#sorry I’m listening to Malevolent and going through many feelings #the silt verses #tma #richard siken #the grip of it #malevolent #text comp

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andromerot · 1 year

Text

hello dear friends and followers. i have decided to start this year by initiating the seventh (is it the sixth? i choose to believe seventh) relisten of the mabel podcast and to share it with you all in this blog. i will go very slowly as to not become completely insane in the head, maybe even one episode a day, and i will gladly share every single moment that makes me run into a pit of lava. if you would like to avoid spoilers or you think im annoying, you can block my detailed tag. this will be beautiful for me and puzzling for many.

mabel, episode one: the letters. in which nothing becomes clear

anna limon normalest girl in the woarld ^-^

we never did find out who anna got mabels number from huh. does anyone have theories?

BABYGIRL sorry. i love her

the music in season one goes SO hard

"i hope you haven't gotten my last two messages um or i mean or i hope theres a good reason you haven't gotten my last two messages like maybe um youre in a tour of europe or something not like i hope you're dead in a ditch somewhere...yeah uh thats really weird im sorry" WOMAN WITH PROBLEMS NUMBER ONE

anna starts fictionalizing mabel in like minute six. shes so. i wont her

just water and echoes and silence ....

the scripts and audio are so different in the first couple seasons it can get a bit annoying and it doesnt really function as a transcript but i also like getting two versions of the same deal a lot

the liminality of her life. its not even about the job though. shes always lived like this, in between worlds, always a stranger. her life was never something that belonged to her, really.

THE BRAIN-ATTIC...where mabel lived, still buzzing !!! "its like being inside something alive, like being inside a heart"

im a little bit obsessed with the box saying 1986 on it...this show rejects all linear and conventional time, its so rare to get a real world date. why is this one here? we don't even know for sure mabel WAS born in 1986. but if she was, what does it mean for it to be written in the box of letters ??? AND were there just two boxes, did sally make a mistake, or did something inside her want anna to see the letters!!!

SALLY SCREAMING LIKE SOMETHING INHUMAN LIKE A FOX UGH ill have more to say about this on ep7 when mabel brings it up but just know it makes me sick in the head

"she stopped screaming, eventually. eventually she let me touch her again. she looked up at me and said, I’M GOING INTO THE GROUND FOR YOU...

...and then she said it again, and again and again, IM GOING INTO THE GROUND FOR YOU, like that, like it meant something else, something... important."

"AND THEN IT WAS JUST ME AND THE BOX. WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE DONE? I WENT STRAIGHT FOR IT. THERE IS NO VERSION OF THIS STORY IN WHICH I DON'T GO STRAIGHT FOR IT" MY GOD.....!!! it tells you everything from episode one

the red lipstick kiss + the reallyred lips next episode im a bloodymouth luna truther. thats not lipstick thats her soups

the voice of mabel martin is BEEP you will always be famous

man imagine being little sixteen year old andy in september of 2020 turning on an episode for a new podcast thats been on her list for like a year just trying it out while doing the dishes or something. and then having it change your life forever. god. this is all so special to me. ok see you tomorrow for the second instalment of this epic saga. will become more and more incoherent as we go along

#andys seventh mabel relisten: a beautiful liveblogged adventure #insanegirl posting begins be ready for fifty days of this #if anyone wants to listen along. more than welcome

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asksleepymclean · 11 months

Text

While I'm making art and something else, I made random dialogues (or quotes? I don't know to be honest)..I’m bored :P

(Some of them will be added in my new mini-comic)

(Long post)

Edeline : Chris… Why are you sad?

Chris : I can't believe..I'm not the host anymore :(.I'm not ready for a new life

Edeline : Awww <:c •Kisses on the cheek • Don't be sad.. I'm sure we can handle it :)

Chris : •sigh• Yeah.. •Kisses on the cheek•

Christina : (Eww..)

Marshmallow : Woof?

———————————————

Jackie : Hey guys..We have news..

•They talk about new neighbors•

Kids : A new neighbors? :0

Madison : Yeah… They just moved into a new house yesterday

Eric: Can you be more specific about who they are?

Jackie : We honestly don't know.. They arrived late at night..But judging by the dialogue, it's most likely they are famous.

Tiffany : Famous? I wonder why they moved?

Annie : Most likely because of the show's closure. I heard that the producers didn't allow the two hosts to return to the show because of what happened in the show itself.

Eric : But what really happened?

Annie : Idk :(

Madison (Looks at Chris and Christina walking around the neighborhood) : Guys…Let's not discuss sad things..Let's get acquainted with the new neighbors

———————————

Chuck Taylor : So you're the new one here that the rumors are talking about?

Christina : Yup

Marshmallow: Woof Woof

Chuck : You have a cute dog.

Christina : Hehe..Thanks

Chuck : Tell me..why you moved to Raven Brooks?

Christina (lied a little) : We decided to move to a new city because … Chris was recently fired and now we are looking for a job

Chuck : Who is Chris?

Christina: Oh..You don’t know him? Chris..He’s my annoying stepf..

Chris :Hey Christina..Who are you talking to now?

Chuck : …

Chris : …

Chuck : …Hi Mr.McLean

Chris (Looking at Christina) :…Is this your new boyfriend? >:0

Christina : Wh…What?! OF COURSE NOT >:(

—————————

Chris (as Ken) : 🎵Come on Barbie, Let's go party!🎵

Brittany : No god please no >:/

Chris (as Ken) : 🎵Come on Barbie, Let's go party!🎵 >:D

Brittany : NO…NO >:O

Christina (as Barbie) : 🎵Come on Barbie, Let's go party!🎵

Aleksandra : No god please no >:0

Christina (as Barbie) : 🎵Come on Barbie, Let's go party!🎵 >XD

Aleksandra : NO…NO >X(

————————— ————————

Nicky : So…Do you like this place?

Chris : …Maybe

Nicky : …? Are you okay?

Chris : Yeah…I’m fine

Nicky : Are you sure,buddy? You look upset

Chris: I’m fine..

Nicky : …

Nicky : Why did you decide to move here?

Chris (•remembers the reason for moving, but doesn't want to tell his new friend• ) : Umm… …Well..It’s a looong story

Nicky : Oh…Okay

———————————————

Aaron : Umm…mrs McLean?

Edeline :Please call me Edeline.

Aaron : Oh…So..Why does your dog look weird?

Edeline: Well…

Chris: He's a mutant :D

The Turner family, Roth family and Peterson family: •shocked• O_O

Christina : •Whisper• Hush Chris..They'll think we're weird >:(

Mabel : •giggles• Well, well..Your husband is so funny

Maritza : Hey Chrissy…Do you mind if we pet your dog?

Christina : Of course… He doesn't bite.

Marshmallow: Woof

Molly : Doggy :D

•Everyone stroked the dog•

Nicky : My turn

Marshmallow : •Growls at Nicky•

Nicky : What the…

Christina : Marshmallow… You can't growl at people

Marshmallow : • stopped growling •

Madison : Hey dad… Why did he growl?

Nicky : I don’t know…

—————————-

Samantha Vassiljev : Hello guys..

All: Hello Samantha

Chris and Christina : …

Samantha : So you are the new neighbors?

Chris and Christina : …Y-yeah

Samantha : Are you okay?

Chris : Yes… We noticed that you have…

Christina : Beautiful hair <:D..

Samantha : Oh…Thanks

——————————

Chris and Christina : •They saw Theodore•

Ghost Theodore : …?

Chris and Christina : Oh no… Ghosts… They exist. D:>

•They scream out loud in fear•

Ghost Theodore : Wait..Did they… see me?

Christina,Marshmallow,Edeline and a painful past (au) by me

Madison,Jackie,Brittany,Molly,Mabel and other by @askkassandragf-v-2

Samantha and Aleksandra by @pinkyberet

Chuck by @mochi-chan-2006

#hello neighbor #hello neighbor au #hello killer #total drama #total drama au #total drama next generation #a painful past #random #i’m bored #glitchowlthecreator

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asterkiss · 11 months

Note

Could you do number 120 from the sarcasm prompts if ur still taking requests? it fits mabel and bill too well!!

(( btw sorry for liking a bunch of ur posts at once, It's easier to save them to read later that way 😭))

Never apologise for binge liking my stuff, seeing it all gives me happy feelings inside! <3

-DEAD WEIGHT

'Hnnnnghhhh!'

'Gross, gross, get off me!' Mabel yelled, batting the zombie off her as the decomposed corpse tried to grab her head. She saw a flash of teeth as it tried to chomp on her arm like a chew toy before a baseball bat swung down upon its skull.

She winced at the crunching noise, scrambling up to her feet as she regarded her saviour with a smile.

Then she realised who it was.

'Oh, it's you.'

Bill smiled. 'Wow, I save your stupid life and that's what I get? You got a stone cold heart there.'

She frowned with concern. 'I thought Dipper was with you.' The two had been together when she'd left them behing bickering to go ahead. Bill hadn't offed him, had he?

'Eh, he's fine. Last I saw him, he was rolling down some hill screaming like a girl.'

Oh, is that what she heard? She thought that was another woman in trouble.

'So,' Bill began, regarding her as the zombie made guttural noises beneath his foot.

Mabel smile back innocently. 'Soooo... what?

They both stared at one another without flinching.

'Shooting Star.'

'Yes?'

His eyes narrowed. 'Y'know, last I checked, there weren't any undead zombies roaming in these woods.'

'Oh, well you see, that's actually a really funny story.'

'Uh huh.'

'See, part of the reason I wanted to check the caves out is because I heard there was this wizard who used to live here and he could answer any five questions you had in exchange for shiny stuff! So, I brought some blank CDs and went to where he was supposed to be but there was nothing there!'

'Nothing?'

'Well, there was this weird stone that now I'm thinking about, was kinda shaped like a coffin? And it had some weird writing on it that I decided to read and.... well, tah dah?' She offered a sheepish smile, holding out her hands towards the thing beneath his feet. Usually it was Dipper who raised the dead by accident and she scolded him. Urgh, he was gonna have a field day having the shoe on the other foot, wasn't he? Noooooo.

'Please don't tell Dipper,' she said quickly.

Before he could reply, the zombie beneath him groaned again. Bill growled, looking down in annoyance. 'Will you shut up!?'

'No.'

They both froze.

'Whoah, did you just talk?' Mabel asked, eyes wide.

The zombie continuned to struggle but a clear voice came from beneath Bill's boot. 'Yes.'

'Ah, it worked!' Mabel gave a jump of delight. 'See, he's answering questions!'

'Yeah, and now you have three left.'

'I- huh?' She paused, thinking over the last few lines of dialogue before she frowned. 'Oh, urgh. Gotta make this one count then.'

'Why did you need a dead wizard to answer your questions? Maths too hard?'

'Yes,' the zombie groaned. Mabel kicked the wizard in the gut before giving Bill a glare.

'You're wasting my questions! And besides, I wouldn't disrespect him like that!' A pause. 'I was gonna ask him if there were any boys who liked me...' The ones in her school so far were being very wary, and she'd been shot down three times already. If she knew where to start with a positive frame to work with, it might be better.

'I can tell ya now there is.'

She blinked, tilting her head. 'Really?'

'Yeah, Gideon Gleeful. Go get him, tiger.'

'Bleh.' She made a face to his amusement.

'Anyway, I'm betting you cast some form of Speak to the Dead spell,' Bill drawled. 'We ask him two more questions, and he'll go back to being dead.'

'Is it really that easy?' Mabel realised her error a second too late as the zombie released a hissed "yes". She groaned in agrravation. Okay, one more question. Gotta make it count!

But before she could ask question both of the duo caught sight of flashing blue lights in the distnace through the treeline. Mabel froze. Cops? Had someone heard their screaming?

'Oooh, that's bad.'

'Oi, grab his legs. Now.'

Mabel took hold of the wizard by his lower half, grimacing when she felt some bare decomposed skin under her fingertips. The guy looked very much like a wizard with a long beard and robes adorning his corpse which has mostly decayed by this point. Gross.

Bill grabbed under his arms, and the two of them began shuffling away from the police lights. Talk about your Monday night.

The demon grinned. 'This is fun.'

'Seriously? We're trying to hide a body!'

'Hey, it's not like we killed him. Heck, you un-killed him technically. Ain't no laws against that. Well, not human ones anyway.'

The sound of movement in the bushes made them both freeze, heads snapping around as the leaves began to move. Mabel felt her heart leap into her throat as a figure stepped out from the overgrowth to reveal-

'Oh, it's just Dipper,' she said, sighing in relief as her body relaxed.

'Sup, Pine Tree.'

'Hnnnghghh,' the zombie groaned.

Dipper stared at them all with wide eyes, gaze dropping down to the zombie in their arms.

'What the hell are you doing?'

But before either of them could respond, a raspy voice cut them to the chase:-

'Flirting.'

'Huh!?'

'What!?'

Three pairs of heads snapped down to watch as the zombie made a peace sign with its fingers and dropped dead for good. Mabel and Bill both exchanged quick glances before grimacing and hastily dropping the wizard on the floor in favour of stepping away from one another.

Dipper continuned to stare on. 'Seriously, what the hell is going on here?

#prompt meme #jinxthelesbian #drabble

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gin-juice-tonic · 2 years

Text

Thinking about that idea I had with the monster in candy's attic again

Image 1

Candy: His face feels kind of familiar

Dipper: Yeah, why do I feel like I know him

Candy: Oh! I've got it!

[Throwing stuff]

Image 2

Candy: He is from the horror movie [Insert movie title]

Dipper: That's it! I loved that movie!

Dipper: I can't believe I forgot about it

Candy: Me either! You know- when I was little my dad used to wear a mask and chase me around-

Dipper, Candy, and Mabel: A mask??

Candy and Mabel: you don't think

Image 3

Dipper: But if that's just a mask

Dipper: What could really be under there?

Mabel: MAYBE IT WILL FINALLY BE A VAMPIRE!

Mabel: Think about it! The dark attic of a cute girl! That SCREAMS vampire!

Candy: you are making so much sense!

Candy: Oooh my very own vampire- how dreamy.

Mabel: I'm so excited for you girl

Candy: Check me for bites!

Image 4

Dipper: Or it could be a squatter

Mabel: Oh come on, Dipper! You're the one who's always got the supernatural explainations!

Candy: I do not want a hobo in my house…

Mabel: You don't have anything better than a hobo??

Dipper: Sorry! Sorry!

Dipper: It's just I don't think a vampire would be as great a situation as you guys think it will be.

Dipper: Well, there's not a page dedicated to them, but the author does mention-

Candy and Mabel: EEEEEEEEE

Image 5

Candy and Mabel: Yaaaay

Dipper: But I still think we should capture it and figure out why it's here

Dipper: don't blame me if it's not hot

[Nod]

#Long post #Silly ideas

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wispisstillverybored67 · 10 months

Text

Thrill la Thrill

What's that noise behind you?

What's that shadow on the stair?

It's here. to remind you...

You'd better beware!

*yawn* We're there already? Wait, why were we here again? Um, let's see... His Fowlyness and that slimy prick had suddenly booted up the tank, and before I could settle on my side, we were driving off to the fortune teller's. I asked, but they both shushed me. Oh well. I should go get some more peanuts if there's time. I think I'm out...

Hey... Is that a blood moon hanging up? Right in the middle of fall too... Uh, did something come up?

Oh... His Fowlyness is finished here. Time to head back. The guys step on the gas and thusly drove back "home".

"Yo... What was the deal with the visit to Mabel? At least tell me what she said." I tried to get an answer from the boys.

"Yeah. What'd she say?" Hey, one of the few times me and Escargoon are on the same page! That never happens.

"She says I have this ghost on my tail." I can practically feel the fear radiating off DDD. His tone... didn't change a bit.

"A ghost on your tail? I didn't even know you had a tail."

"Well I guess I don't stand a ghost of a chance." The boys joked about the problem. We all laughed a bit at the stupid pun, in a bad attempt to lighten the mood. Hahahaha... no.

"But maybe this is just some giant mistake. Maybe there's some logical explication of the whole situation!" His Fowlyness is gonna have a stroke if he attempts to figure out the truth.

"Sorry, a ghost?" Might as well join 'em... "Sure that wasn't just, I don't know, your shadow? His shadow? The mini monsters' shadow? Come on you two-"

"Hey, it's there in the camera too. You gonna argue with the camera?" I was gonna say something else, but then that slimy prick interrupted me.

"*yawn* No, not really. Well, I won't really care if there was a ghost on you. Unless they like peanuts. That's my only rule. A ghost can move in here, but if it takes rent in peanuts, we need to do something..."

"Yeah, picture sure don't lie." Oh my...

All remained silent, and good, until...

We hit the castle. "Wait what's up with that drawbridge?!" His Fowlyness was already screaming. Are we going to be squished?

"I don't know, Sire! It's actin' like it's HAUNTED OR SOMETHING!" Wait what? Hey, why's the tank slanting?!

*ka-thonk!* Dang it all... What was all that about?

"What was that for...?" I complained.

"Drawbridge never done that before..." And DDD complained too.

"Maybe that's the ghost's way of sayin' 'boo'." Why does that slimy prick keep insisting there's a ghost?

"There ain't no ghost!" We would've argued on this for longer, but the boys quickly got scared by something else. A noise, then footsteps. How odd. Maybe that IS a ghost. But ghosts don't have feet! So what's with the noises?!

It's... It's... Waddle Doo? "Ah... I'm glad yer alright, Sire!" How did he get there?

"You... We..." What was I gonna say? Dunno.

"Some guard you are!" "With an eye like that, ya should look out for the king's safety!" You tell 'em, boys! "The boys are in a horrible mood, so you better not make this worse!" I joined in.

"Well I'm sorry, Sire, but it wasn't my fault! Somebody must'a sabotaged the drawbridge!" he then claimed, motioning up and down for it's broken motion.

"Huh?" We all went. "Not a likely story!" I sensed that Escargoon was probably gonna go off on him, so I just took my cart out, and wheeled inside. Wonder what awaits me there?

______________________________________________________________

*a handful of minutes later...*

"Oh... It was a spook, I knew it was a spook...!" Ms Lady Like was pacing back and forth in the main hall (I think it was). Her sir was attempting and failing to get her to relax.

"Try to calm down, my dear!"

"What is it? Spill it, Like-Like." I was just wondering what was the proverbial spook.

Oh, footsteps.

"Great... Sir Ebrum and his gang of grousers. Now what's the matter?" Ah. Judging from that being the slimy prick's voice, the boys are back inside.

"Well we... We think we might've seen a-"

"A galloping GOBLIN!" Erm... She's probably exaggerating this... right?

"Huh? What's she talkin' about?" His Fowlyness was guessing just as good as me.

"I mean, it does sound rather silly, and there could be some perfectly logical explanation fo-"

"But we saw a ghost!" Alright, alright. Point taken...

"Uh, maybe it was just a pigment of your imagination-"

"But I saw it too!" And now Tiff (of all people) jumped in. And thus, she made her piece. A few hours ago (at least I think it was that time ago...), she was heading back to the main hall to finish something before going to bed, but footsteps overshot the hall, as if someone or something was following her. Between the surprised screams, I can tell no ghost had touched down here. She probably didn't believe in ghosts until now, either.

Is that so? Hmm...

"That thing gave me a scare too." Thus, Like-Like told her piece next. 2 hours before Tiff came here, she was just watching a drama, too bad the curtains flew open. Though the sound of bats were lingering around, the thing that was imprinted on the outside world was a ghost. I think it then came inside when she shut the windows. So it's her that brought the ghost in? Aw... She probably pinched herself to see if she's not awake.

"...I had a rather disturbing encounter myself, Sire." With the Sir giving the last piece, that makes everyone. A day (I think) ago, he was down in the cellar in an attempt to see what needed to be replaced and what didn't. Too bad the ghost found out how to move some of the wine bottles around. Man, I'm glad he never saw the skeleton chained up down there... Hehe, a spirit among the spirits. Caught the pun.

"This is all way too conveniently timed..." I complained a bit.

"Oh, I see the plan!" DDD finally spoke. Huh? "When I move out, y'all take over the castle." What the hell. Mr. Prime immediately denied something like that.

"But if you did leave, I hope you take Clara and Escargoon with you." Lady Like on the other hand, didn't exactly deny that stuff either. At least get my name right!

"Look, if that would happen, I'm not goin' with them... I'm staying." I complained in the back.

I began to zone out as the group conversed a bit. Nyeh... I wonder where Kirby, Tuff and the mini-monsters, Fololo and Falala are? Um... They mentioned having something to do today, but I don't know what they said they had to do... Oh, is that Meta Knight? How'd he get here? When did he get here?

"Hmph... With all due respect, sire, I do find it hard to believe that you aren't involved with these... paranormalities." Is that a word? Erm...

"Uh... This ain't my fault, I get spooked by spooks!" Dedede scrambled to defend himself from the thing in the corner.

Everyone got impatient. Mmm... Why, though? Oh, I know.

Tiff especially was having none of that. "I bet it's another one of those monsters!"

"Is that so? Is this another plot against Kirby??" Even Sir Ebrum joined in on this. I didn't expect that from him. Well, to His Fowlyness, that is.

"Look, I ain't plannin' nothin' to nobody, and there ain't no ghosts 'cause there ain't no such a thing!!!" He's quaking.

K(that's me!): Oh really? Seems like the evidence is turning against it.

L: Then what was that floating in my window?!

S: Why were those bottles floating?!

T: There's a ghost here!

Against our mounting evidence, he quickly broke under pressure, and I think he lost it.

"AHHHHHHH!! THE GHOST IS AFTER MEEEE!!! AND I GOTTA DO SOMETHIN' BEFORE IT GETS ME!!!!" He screamed out in a panic, and then left immediately. The other one followed him to... wherever he ran off to. Oh no, wait, he just went to the direction of his room. Mmm... How tragic.

"*sigh* That was so weird..." I complained once they left.

"Indeed. I simply hope it won't reappear while we sleep." Oh, is the group gonna go to bed? Yeah, it's about time.

"I am sure it would keep to the outdoors. Now..." Ah, yeah, they're gone. Tiff and her parents left the scene. But Tiff herself is lingering. Hmm...

______________________________________________________________

...

"Oi, Tiff, can I talk to you for a sec?" I called out to her once those two left the scene.

"Yeah, but first off... A ghost haunting him?" she questioned while I walked up to her.

"I tried to get something out of the boys." I sighed. "Nothing came out. But I did overhear Mabel giving her verdict on this to his Fowlyness. Something like that is true, apparently."

"I have trouble believing this fully... I just hope it leaves soon enough."

"The boys should be back by tomorrow... *yawn* So I'll be off now... Hehe, don't let those ghosts bite." I told her off as I began paddling my cart to my room.

"I guess. Goodnight." And thus, we've gone our separate ways.

The hall to my room isn't that far. Just keep right until you hit the yard view, then go left. After about 15 minutes, I'm back to my room.

Ahhhh... This is nice... Just gonna cozy up in my blanket fort with a bowl of peanuts and a cold bottle of iced tea. Maybe I can crack open the TV and see what's on. Or not. Let the soft moonlight filter through the room.

Hmph... Why can't the lights get fixed soon enough? Wait a sec, they already fixed it, didn't they? I hate that they whir like that. Hate it hate it hate it. Let's see if they get fixed in the morning...

______________________________________________________________

Hate hate hate... That's a nice word, isn't it? Hate... Let me tell you how much hate we can stuff into this place since I got here. There are 3.84 million watts of electricity (or something) flowing through this castle in wafer thin wires in all angles. If the word 'hate' was sent in every wire's nano-something or other in these hundreds of thousands of watts, it wouldn't equal a billionth of the hate I can stuff into this castle for it's screwed upness at this microinstant. For this. Hate. Hate.

Er... I'm just watching my shows, right now. This one is based a novel on a young detective and her repeated encounters with a brilliant, yet insane serial killer. I don't exactly like the ending change on TV, but other then that, it's quite solid. Still, the fact that it comes on at night is a huge detriment. I'm trying to get some sleep here, you know? But I guess it'll be fine.

Oh, what's that at the window? Better check it out...

Walk up to the window, open the curtains, and then the window itself.

"Ah... You know, you ARE supposed to trail inside while the others do their stuff, you know..."

"Hahaha. I get that, but it's too funny to see people's reactions!"

"Just don't get too loud that they'll figure you out. We don't want our jig to be up..."

"Right right right. So you take the right, and I'll take the left, sound good?"

"Yeah, why not? As long as the target gets down there. How about you three... What do you think about your potential game plan?"

"A what?"

"Game plan? Isn't just doing what we're normally doing fine?"

"Poyo."

"Uh... I suppose. Okay... How about we meet near the men's room once all is dealt with, does this sound good?"

"Sounds like a plan! See ya later, Claire!" "Bye-Bye Clara!" "Poyo Poyice!" They leave for the windows on another side of the wall. When will they get my name right?! *sigh*

Now that they reminded me... I need to go put my makeup on for the big event. One moment...

______________________________________________________________

*30 minutes later...*

"Excuse me, Clara? Sorry to interrupt, but do you have a moment?" Meh? Sir Ebrum now? My makeup is on... How'll I excuse this?

"Nah, you're fine. *opens door* So what's it?" I'm covered in flour from head to toe, my lips are coated in barbeque sauce, my eyes are outlined in a fruit punch powder/thickening liquid agent mixture, my ears are traced with egg yolk in it's inner sections, my hair is capped in a straight black wig, and it's tips are dyed yellow-and-black with honey mustard and activated charcoal. I eventually kept it mostly shut, so he could hear me properly, but to not ruin my makeup or ask about it. What's it for, you may ask? Why, to scare off the ghosts with a ghastly wail, of course! Why do you look so sad?

"I recall you telling me about a specific song that can repel ghouls and the like. In the rare event that it does not leave after tonight, do you remember the title of the song?"

Oh.

"Blumenkranz?" I know this song by heart. I think he's talking to me first about it, since the dang ghost was seen there last, according to a report from some Waddle Dees 6 hours ago. Why does he say that I said that it repelled ghosts? I don't remember saying that. When we went over the book imports some time ago, I never said anything of the sort when the book of scores came up.

"I see. Well, in this case... Good night." Ah... He left.

Hey.

He never asked what Blumenkranz actually meant.

Everyone always asks what Blumenkranz means.

Even you're asking what it means behind that screen.

But it's fine.

I can tell you now.

But this may take a while.

You see... it translates to "Flower Wreath", or a, how you say, flower crown. But it carries a higher dignity then a simple flower crown... Only the strongest, finest flowers should be woven and bound into this shape. Withered flowers should be removed immediately. If you don't want to be upset by it's poorer quality, only bind the fresh flowers. A well placed one should improve one's condition, or at least their mood and posture. To bear a blumenkranz... is to take in it's near-weightlessness. But the finesse and dignity it requires to bear it with elegance and grace is difficult to utilize effectively... One who bears the highest quality blumenkranz demands everyone's attention, trust, love. At least, that's what my dad always told me

...Okay, ramble over. I have to leave now. But first... Peanuts, my cart, and computer! Alright... let's go.

______________________________________________________________

*10 minutes later...*

Let's see... Faulty lights? Check. Halloween themed snacks in the basement? Check. Cameras broadcasting that slimy prick's voices and turn it into ghastly wails? Check. Flashing lights? Check. Flappers going in and out of the windows? Check. Unknowing victims castlemates? Check. Languid maiden wheeling herself to where she thinks the king may be? Check. This may sound off, but all this is simply extra measures against the ghosts. I believe some other inhabitants will also be attempting a "Kill la Kill" deal. That's when you scare something by pretending to be it. It's referred as such because if you have to scare a killer, go and kill it. Simple. To scare a scarer, scare it back. Kill or be killed. Scam or be scammed. Scare or be scared. Thrill or be thrilled. That's how it goes here, at least. Although, all those snacks are reserved for me, I just hope His Fowlyness isn't hijacking it off down there...

*ssshwoon!* The heck was that? Um... From the direction it came from... and connect that to the direction it flew into... Shoot. The men's room has more guests...

Out of curiosity, I decided to go and check it out.

Now, I was rolling towards the boy's room to hunt down any stragglers. I heard screaming from this area, so why not take a detour? Okay.

*a few minutes later...*

The door to the bathroom is open. and I can hear DDD's erm... potty break from here. I was in the middle of the hallway, mind you. Oh... It seems it's not just him that's here. Why is he running to my direction?

"Klarissa! What the heck were you doing the whole night?!"

"Picking off any stragglers, what does it look like? You know... with this, no interruptions will be encountered, since I took care of the Waddles and whatnot."

"And the Ebrums?"

Oh. "No worries, they're off looking for the book with that song... What was it called? Said it repelled ghouls or something." I think... Didn't anticipate that, but I'm sure it'll be fine.

"The makeup? Really?"

"Listen, dumbass, I don't appreciate the constant questioning. If you waste anymore time, he'll ruin the whole thing. H-H-He-HEY! ESCARGOON DON'T LEAVE ME BEHIND IN THIS CRAZY-" Don't ditch me now! What was that even for?!

"Clara?! Get over here!" Is that His Fowlyness?! Why does he sound so terrified?! I thought he doesn't fear this kind of stuff! Hey... What's that noise behind me?

"Spot." I finished myself. With this, he ran out to see me from the bathroom. I froze. My face would've been warped more menacingly, but I just looked terrified. It looks suspicious, but I assure you that it's just for getting the ghost out. I'm not doing anything else.

You think Dedede could'a pulled this off? No.

Why do you look so sad? I had no reason to reject this.

What's with these ghastly wails behind me? I tensed up, so it kinda looked like I was nervous at the sight of the king, probably rushing towards me. ...Hey. I recognize those voices anywhere.

"AYYYEEEEEEEEEE! MY SAVIOR!!" I'M SAVED! I projected my voice into a demonic conaltro, but they knew who I was. He sure as hell didn't. I ran onto the mini ghosts like there was no tomorrow: with these events, it looks very suspicious.

I didn't exactly recall what he shouted at that moment, all I needed was them...!

Since the three chased down the king elsewhere once they shifted over there, I waited at one side of the hallway. It's exactly who I thought it was! Everyone came back. It was...

...

"I knew you had in in you, Tuff, Fo-Fa and Kirby!!" I exclaimed when the coast was clear.

"Hehehaha!" the former giggled a bit as he helped unmask the latter. "Told you we'd pull it off, no problem!"

"Yeah! That gave him ghost-bumps!" Fololo joked around.

"We sure scared 'em bad~!" I can tell that Tuff's feeling proud of himself for this.

"Let's spook 'em again!" Falala just read my mind!

"Sounds like a plan! Let's go!" I quickly wheeled off to our runaway king for this idea to work. I assure you, it's to set an example for the ghost, nothing else. If we have DDD vulnerable, he'll know what for, and not bother us again. Es ist fraglich aber wahr.

______________________________________________________________

*30 minutes later...*

Awaken...

My King!

Heed...

My call!

I have an axe to grind with this guy...!

It's time for the biggest event of the night! We have the king strapped down to a makeshift autopsy table, while a large axe is set on one side in the basement. A degradable wall is set to fall just off his feet, while the other one will crumble easily all over the floor. Praise! This is a fine opportunity of examples! Oh, in a little while, you'll understand too. Watch! He's gonna wake up now! He won't recognize me in the makeup. I'm sitting on the hanging axe.

A scream... then realization.

"Them ghosts finally got me!" Hahaha... The king's gonna wish he was never born...! We toyed with His Fowlyness for a bit, then knocked him out, and brought him into the place where there is no darkness (a lie).

The wine cellar and torture basement! This is usually where the tortured are exposed to mindless torture until one pisses off the torturer and gets turned into slime. But we don't have a slime-grinder, nor a large enough computer program in here, so it's been refurbished into the centerpiece, where we lay our scene. One night, we'll finish our due, we'll take our leave and go.

I gave Tuff the thumbs up, the signal to unhinge the axe. Let's begin...

*nyoom*

"♬Ich möchte stärker werden, weil unsere Welt sehr grausam ist, Es ist ratsam, welke blumen zu entfernen♬" I sang loudly in a dominating tone to drive a point. Isn't it ironic... The Ebrums had gone off to find the specific song from the library, and which song did I decide to sing, in a bout of irony? You guessed it; Blumenkranz!

I swung down close to him, and amplified my voice's volume whenever I did so. All he could've done was suck in his gut so he doesn't get bisected.

"That's cuttin' it too close!!" Yeah no kidding.

*nyoom* Another scream from him. *nyoom* How are you screaming already, when it barely begun?! Ah, whatever! The hair on my body is firing off, my gut is burning! Sweat is pouring! l LOVE THIS PLAN!

"SOMEBODY HELP ME!! I'M SORRY FOR EVERY BAD THING I EVER DONE!! OH I'M A GONER FOR SURE!!!!" "WAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" My laughter sunk up with his screams. With this leaking out, I changed to a different song.

"♬Woah-oah-WOAH-oah-oah-oah-oah-oah! Ooo, show me!" "♬Ja, ich bin viel stärker, als ich je gedacht hab, Fliege höher, Laufe viel schneller, Vergiss die wahrheit nicht Ja, ich bin viel stärker, als ich je gedacht hab, Ich entferne welke blumen, Wieso siehst du so traurig aus?♬ " Lalala lalala... That song simply doesn't get old.

The axe had to be brought back in for the next trick. I would've liked for it to last longer, but I get why. Now, I gave Tuff the OK. He then gave signal to Fo-Fa to push down the walls. First, the crumbling overcover wall. *ka-boom!* He seemed to have braced for pain from it, but he was super shocked/relieved when it was revealed to just be wet paper-mache and toilet paper. Then the miniature skeletons appeared. That was my idea. Mmm... I hope that ghost is watching! Watching and dreaming that it's not gonna be scared of this sight! Woooooo! I continued to sing my Blumenzehn mixture. "♬Ist der blumengarten echt oder falsch?♬" "♬Show me your looove~! Show me your love! Oh!♬" I can hear footsteps, it's sad but true. But I'm not worried.

And then, on my scream, the trio of ghosts fly downward, having donned their disguises beforehand, to circle the target in a medley of ghastly wails and evil smiles. The air is stagnant, and the scene is perfect. He even started crying! I'm unsure whether to feel bad or laugh! The song must go on, the show must go ON!

"♬Was willst du von mir? Ich mag wollen oder nicht, ich muss den feind verfolgen, Ich bin nicht frei von dieser welt, Was willst du von mir? Ich mag wollen oder nicht, ich muss den feind verfolgen, Ich bin nicht frei von dieser welt♬"

After a bit of madness... He conked out. Whaaaa?

Tuff and I jumped down from our perch to observe. "Yo. That's peculiar." I commented.

"Wuh-oh. He got so scared, he fainted!" He realized.

Laughter came emanating from one side. It was Escargoon...! I can't believe the words... My savior...!

"That was excellent work, team." He remarked as he came out from the shadow. I hope he saw everything. What an exhilarating moment! "A trick like that deserves a nice treat!" Lollipops.

"Alright!!" We all ran to get a lolly before everyone else did. Mmm... I guess getting candy as a reward is the best thing for a kid, and I don't blame them at all, but you can also just buy these from the candy store down in Cappy Town normally. Still, it tastes quite good.

"And don't think I didn't forget about you wanting 'proper' compensation for this, Klarissa." *gasp* PEANUTS! He remembered! I ran back over quickly to grab the bag of the good stuff. First he's the only one to pronounce my name properly, and now this?! Ahh... This is the life. More for the pile. And these are pre-de-shelled, too! I am SO gonna take any more offers from him, I HAVE to pay him back after this!

"That was fun!" Fololo exclaimed what was on everyone's mind.

"So's getting candy!" Falala was more interested in what was in her hole. Kirby too. "Poyum~"

"I guess it's okay to help Escargoon as long as it doesn't help King Dedede." Tuff noted.

"You said it. Could he ever work up these schemes like he does?" I told him, shoving the goods into my mouth. No. No he cannot. Can he think properly? I think not. This is a memory I'll forever cherish as the night we enacted our thrill or be thrilled scheme..!

Hahahaha... *fwush!* The lights flushed open, halting our victory. We looked at the other direction. Oh no.

"Uh oh!" Falala squeaked out once we saw.

It was what remained of the Ebrums, clearly annoyed that they were lead astray... and Meta Knight tagged along too. The book that held the score of Blumenkranz was promptly dropped by Tiff.

"What's going on here, you guys?"

"Kirby?"

"Why are you all here with Escargoon?"

Daughter, mother and father were looking for answers. Everyone shambled about, trying to find a way to salvage this discovery. Tuff laughed awkwardly. I followed suit.

"Uhh... Hehehe... Ya see, uh... *sigh* The jig is up. We're pinched for sure." I tried. Really. I'm afraid I'll have to tell you the truth. There... was no ghosts. There wasn't ever a ghost.

"U-Poyo!" Why is he so happy about this? This is most certainly not a good thing!

"It appears we've found our... ghosts." Meta Knight was half prying, and half expecting of what he was seeing.

"One of you had better explain!" Mr. Prime pushed us for an answer. Quickly. A lie is the only thing that pitifully planted inside our heads. How can we save ourselves from this? How can we save face...? How can we survive this night unscathed? Our "leader" took a step forward, and reluctantly ratted us all out.

"Alright. This... was my revenge."

"What do you mean?" Simple, Tiff.

And thus, the whole thing was explained. His Fowlyness likes pranking him because he's a coward. He's got a seemingly bottomless imagination of ways to drive him... mmm... "crazy". Simple jump scares, locking rooms, dark and light contrasts, freaky costumes... Could be anything, really. But, judging by his tone, he seemed... guilty from this. But why? He's the one who started the whole thing! The one who brought us all together for the night for this prank!

"And so I decided to turn the tables and make him the victim for a change." Yes... he's tearing up right now.

Wieso siehst du so traurig aus? I whispered to myself. I'd ask out loud, but I don't wanna get hanged, drawn, and quartered for treason. But I DID take it far, so I should probably own it to not be the only one among us to live. I'll ask later. Why do you look so sad?

"Well... That's tragic, isn't it?" I don't understand, Mr. Prime. It's not tragic at all. It shouldn't be.

That slimy prick continued with the schpiel. I'm sorry I lied to you. I was onto this the whole time. Kirby, Fololo, Falala, Tuff, Klarissa, and Escargoon... We were the ghosts that roamed the castle to seek revenge, just as she said...! I'm sure you don't trust me with things as much, since you believed in me so... H-Hey! What do you mean I was awful at hiding this from you?! Where do you get all that... Anyways... He spent hours planning every detail of this elaborate, golden scheme before tonight. Breaking into the vault to get enough Denden to bribe Mabel with... Boobytrapping the drawbridge, and making sure Waddle Doo was kept in the dark... Editing the camera so a ghost appeared behind him... Even recruiting us all into his Ghost Squad...

"Just to get back at that beast...!" I hear ya. He WAS a beast. But I haven't heard that 'til just now. He whispered to my ear. I had no reason to reject him. And here I was, facepalming in embarrassment, hoping for this moment to just be a daydream, or to die on the spot. That was me. When I had taken so much joy in making the king wail... Why do you look so sad? Why do we look so sad?

"It appears you were able to shamboozle us all..." Meta Knight trailed off, bringing some of us relief. Relief that at least he wasn't mad. Against better judgement, I slowly uncovered my face.

"By Jones, you certainly had me believing in ghosts!" Mr. Prime remarked. Someone such as him could've fallen for it any day. I'm just surprised Tiff fell for it...!

Like-Like on the other hand was having none of it.

"Tuff, I'm ashamed of you!" Kind of expected for now, isn't it?

But then again, neither was he.

"King Dedede's ALWAYS doing somethin' to scare us; why shouldn't we scare him?!" "Poyo." Now they were both defending their new "friend", and their actions. Well, I don't know about Kirby.

"Eh..." I stammered out a bit. He's not WRONG, but...

"Clarice?" Meta Knight blurted out.

"Hmm?" What does he want.

"I just cannot understand why you would do this. You say that you're 'carefree and unflappable'... but the revenge idea just does not make sense." Well...

"Oh, is that so? Well, that's because I have no cause for it."

"So you weren't pranked by the king? How-"

"No no, I was. Anyone he knows gets pranked in under 2 weeks, and you of all people should know. I think, yeah. You were there for that part, you know? He used to have some fun with me, you know. But he got bored of it ever since he tried switching the hot water in the ladies' room with boiling water."

"But then why-" Hmm?

"Oh it's nothing, Tiff. See, I legitimately am carefree and unflappable, like I said. You think that's a good thing... But when you're like that all the time, your whole world just sorta becomes... dull. Nothing can excite you anymore. Nothing can reach you anymore. Everything bores you now."

"And on your apparent disliking of him?" On my disliking of who? Ah...

"I'm going to ignore you mispronouncing my name, Meta Knight. But you'll get it soon enough. Because yeah, we just do NOT get along. Can't stand his smug attitude. Honestly? I'm looking for cheap thrills. I don't care if it's coming from someone like him, as you can see. Truthfully, if siding with Escargoon means I can go get THIS level of thrills... What does it matter if we're vitriolic? I honestly don't see the problem."

"Is that so?"

"Yes. He approached me for this trick on his own accord. You were there for that part, I believe. I was going to cut out most of my 19 hours of sleep for this joke. And the proof is in the lolly. A fitting payment for the fulfillment of his wish. No?" I held it out in front. It was sort of small. "Normally, I work for peanuts, but for this, I made an exception.

"Fitting?! This is simply a petty trick!" She's STILL not over it?

"So you say, Like Like. But it's as Tuff said. If the king is constantly pulling worse pranks on us, what does it matter if this gets pulled off? This, ultimately, is the hardest I've ever worked for a single piece of candy, and I'll gladly do this again, if it means getting a shred of THESE thrills... Besides, I suppose making His Fowlyness faint is nothing compared to the stuff he pulled with us~"

"Pardon? Like with what?"

"Look at my neck. Do you see this mark? Do you see this? Do you know where this came from? You probably already anticipate this answer. Yes, this is no thanks to him. His latest prank on me was, as I said, overloading the water load in the woman's bathroom, so when I would use the sink, it would splash boiling water everywhere. Sounds dramatic, of course. But it's true. 'Course, I'm no coward. He is. I'd never get a good reaction, but he did. So this is the last prank on me. But you know what, honestly? You could say it kinda circles back to what he said. 'Just to get back at that beast' or something, you know~?" This is probably going over your heads... so just take it as it is.

"So that's it, huh?" Tiff finally realized it all. Right back at ya.

"Exactly. And now, with this truth in your grasp, we all can say that this Escargoon Squad finally got their revenge." I popped out some sunglasses, and put them on, so it would look cooler once I said the "got our revenge" part.

"Well, I guess bad things happen to bad kings!"

"That's bad karma to you! Ohohohohohohoho!" We all broke out into laughter after I spoke. I'm just happy he's perked up from it. I can't fathom on why he felt guilty, but I'll ask that later...

"Well ya sure had me shooken." WOAH! He's awake?! The king's awake?!

Everyone was also quite shocked at this turn of events. I would be, too.

"Ah! Sire-!"

"You sure went through a lotta trouble, and you got me good." Okay, I don't get THIS. Why is he so relaxed on this? Normally he'd have our heads any other day. Why is he not flipping out.

And he's... admitting that this is his fault?! What happened to him that made him act like this? Oh, I knew we should have simply hypnotized him asleep instead of hitting him with his hammer! Is he... Does that slimy prick not see anything wrong with this? Put this behind us... When has DDD ever done that? I know where this is going. I've seen it in a play. No boys, you're NOT buddies! Oh...

"You're free. Now let's put this whole thing behind us...!"

"Heh, my chum... Or should I say: my chump."

*WOOSH!*

"NO FOOL MAKES A FOOL OUTTA KING DEDEDE!!" THERE IT IS! THERE'S THE BEAST!!

"HUH?! Does this mean you're still mad?!" Yeah no kidding!

"QUIEEEEET!! YOU JOKESTERS THOUGHT YOU SNUCK OUT THE LAST LAUGH?! WELL THE LAUGH'S ON YOU!!!" Ayeeeeeee!!! No no no! Run for it! Us ghosts ran like mad out of the basement.

______________________________________________________________

*5 minutes devoted to sprinting later...*

"YER ALL GONNA BE GHOSTS WHEN I CATCH UP WITH Y'ALL!!!"

I think he's still behind us. He's still behind us. He's still behind us he's still behind us he's still behind us he's still behind us he's still behind us he's still behind us... Wait, what's that flying overhead? Oh, no use worrying, just keep running!

"Oooooooo..." The thing went on as it flew closer to us, then past us. We stumbled, then stopped, stumped. "A ghost...?" I thought aloud. It was honing on His Fowlyness...

"Hehehe! Can't fool me this time, Kirby!!" That's not...

He tried catching it, but it just phased behind him.

"Kiiiiiiiiing Dedede~" It speaks?! Oh no. It turned around to face the one it wanted. The aforementioned king was stumped, like us.

"Uh... Kirby? Fololo? Falala? If you're here, then-" His Fowlyness stopped just when he realized it. Fear warped across his face, so he just ran. Away from that thing. Yeouch!

"Pay what you owwwwwweee..." It went on like that as it chased him around. I shrugged to the group, then followed after 'em. They followed as well.

...

*5 more minutes devoted to sprinting later...*

I must've lost sight of the group, I ended up in the throne room... First the ghost came in, holding a sack of Denden, and taking it with it to that monster portal in the middle. Hey... Was that needed?

"A gold digger ghost...?" Wow, seems like the man of the hour's perplexed from these events as well. Everyone not named DDD files in here, circling in front of the TV to get some answers. Since that's where the Sales Guy makes fun of him through.

"What the hell." I blurted out in a dead-pan.

The TV suddenly flashes on. Yeah, it was the Sales Guy alright! "Overdue bills. King Dedede owed us big-time, and this was the only way we could collect. Ta-ta~" It turned off as quickly as it flashed.

What the hell.

"WOW Escargoon! Looks like yer tricks costed the king a lotta money!" Tuff shouted on an impulse.

"He DESERVED it! Listen, life ain't a free ride, kid, you gotta pay for everything!" He's owning it now! Hahaha... I knew he had it in him.

*click!* Again?! The doors flung open. We faced the target.

"Heh. That's right." DDD's tone was just dripping with ill intent. "Now you're gonna pay BIG TIME!!!" Ayeeeeee! Get me outta here! Oh I wish Marx was here to see this...!

#thrill la thrill #kirby right back at ya #wisp's children #wisp rambles #wisp writes #king dedede #tiff ebrum #sir ebrum #lady like #klarissa hawks #tuff ebrum #lololo #fololo #lalala #falala #escargoon #queue in wonderland

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