#but i feel forced into a box a lot of the time and its rly frustrating to me

[cartoonrival]

kakashi and ummmm spins wheel akane from r1/2

kakashi

i dont really talk about kakashi and theres not really a reason for that beyond i dont super have anything intelligent to say about him but i do really love him ToT i dont think he works BETTER as part of a dynamic bc that implies i dont care for him much on his own but i think his character shines BEST as part of a dynamic... in pt 1 he was one of the characters who most most emphasized how young the team 7 kids were and it makes me SICK it makes me sick seeing how much he loves them, the way he talks to them and about them like theyre really children and he cares about them so much and has loved watching them grow up and helping them train, i looove how the chidori becomes one of sasuke's signatures after kakashi taught it to him and how excited naruto gets about getting to train with kakashi again and how kakashi was disappointed at the start of shippuden that naruto and sakura werent as easily amazed by him anymore and he had them try and steal the bells from him again as a little welcome back exercise .... and when he watched the three of them defeat kaguya together he was thinking how much he loved them .... BWAAAAAAAA

and and. i think his relationship with guy honestly balances his relationship with the kids rly well because we get to see him as a protective figure with them but with guy he's talking to someone whos his age and on his level and who he's known for like 2 decades, obviously not to say he never lets loose or relaxes or is irresponsible with the kids but the way he is with guy and the childish competitiveness of their rivalry (which he acts like he's annoyed by but this is obviously not true) is just idk. i like seeing that other facet of him. i think the race through konoha that ended w guy giving him a bouquet was an anime original scene but idc it was so cute and i think it was lee and neji who said smth about them finally being able to have fun and let off steam or w/e. augh. yeah.

ALSO esp in the anime i love how noticeably his tone of voice shifts when he's talking to someone ranked above him when he's usually so nonchalant and casual its something something about how he used to be part of the black ops. idk idk i rly love him and i love how he has pretty distinct facets of himself that come out depending on who he's interacting with it makes him feel very real. he's laid back but on edge and kind and blunt. ill be honest though i dont care about the stuff w obito and rin im sick of that dead girl and that man whos still obsessed with her!!!! but its ok because i love you kakashi.

akane

SHES EVERYTHING .TO ME. as with all of r/2 i think her struggles with bisexuality (ambiguous) couldve been carried further and her martial arts abilities kind of fell off towards the end which SUCKSSSS AND MAKES ME SO MAAAAD but anyways. she gets a lot of hate for being a jerk BUT LIKE. YEAH? she's scared and angry all the time and doesn't know who she is and is afraid of who she is and everyone's telling her she's living wrong so she's forcing herself into a box where she doesn't fit because she's afraid of nonconformity and she takes that fear out on the person closest to her and the one person who might actually understand what she feels. because it is so scary to admit that you are not what you are supposed to be and intimacy and honesty are so much scarier than bullying someone who'll do it right back. she's been engaged at 16 years old and burdened with the expectation that she'll marry ranma and carry on the legacy of her father's beloved dojo, and now she's been thrown in to this situation where she is forced to confront her wayward sexuality head on and directly in front of her entire family.

will say though possibly unpopular opinion. i dont like transmasc akane reads .. i think shes cis. she has a tomboy thing going on (meaning characters (mostly ranma) make fun of her for being boyish and violent and she has an arc about cutting her hair and no longer growing it out as assurance of her own femininity even though she really prefers it short) but i dont think taking "this female character has some issues with not being seen as feminine enough because of her behavior/struggles with not tying her worth to how feminine she is" should be immediately taken as "this character is not a girl" because i think the potential for her gender nonconformity (esp in relation to her bisexuality) is just as valuable a theme, especially considering r/2 already has very potent transfem (ranma) and transmasc (ukyo) stories. idk "this character has some not traditionally feminine tendencies -> cannot be a girl" doesnt sit right with me. in any series other than r/2 it wouldn't bother me because people can take little tidbits of possible transgenderism as they'd like, but since the trans themes are already so potent in r/2 i tend to lean towards more realistic interpretations of the characters and i dont feel like "akane doesnt fit into traditional femininity and is therefore not [fully] a girl" is reaaally a win. expectations and gender roles are a huge theme in r/2 and i think its valuable seeing how they impact a cis girl as it is how they impact trans people in terms of determining what even MAKES someone a girl or a boy. is it what you wear? what you do? how you talk? these are genuine questions that r/2 asks and i feeeeel that transmasc reads of akane kind of respond to these questions in a really surface level way. this is the reason for the slash over the everyone else is wrong box. because not everybody thinks this and i know some reliable akaneheads (hi jordan)

#asks157 #r/2 #nrto #WHEW

[lucky-clover-gazette]

this is about the handmaid's tale

if you don't want to hear about the handmaid's tale, or think it's useless literature or not worth mentioning because of its failings, just move on from this post and find something else that speaks to you

that said

the handmaid's tale does have value. it does. genuine question - have you read it, and/or the recently published sequel the testaments? what do you know about them? there are issues with both, as with any media with any substance, but tht is a relevant satire and its sequel is atwood's attempt to write something NON defeatist in the same world.

intersectionality is important and the handmaid's tale does have a main character who is a white, straight, privleged afab person pre-gilead. june is that, yes. however, there is a LARGE cast of afab people designated handmaids and others who are actually allies to gilead, and their stories, races, sexualities, and socioeconomic backgrounds are all very different. personally when i read the book i saw myself in june's friend moira, who is a lesbian but is forced into sex work with powerful men because she wasn't compliant as a handmaid, and fellow handmaid ofglen, who is punished for falling in love with another women working at the house where she is a handmaid. to suggest that the book is just for and about straight women, at least, is fucking absurd.

i'm not going to go over an Intersectionality Laundry List of the boxes each character checks, because honestly i think it's performative bullshit that prevents important stories from doing their jobs, and i doubt i'm changing someone's mind by doing so. if you don't want to care about anything i'm saying, you're completely entitled to that, especially if you feel the story doesn't resonate with you. but the story is NOT just for straight white privileged women to get off on their own suffering, and to portray it as such at a time where women are processing these events in the best ways they can, is... i mean, come on. especially in their comment sections, where countless pro-life idiots are probably already attacking them if they've gotten any kind of attention.

hell, and atwood is even trying to make a point about women who side with gilead through characters like serena joy and aunt lydia, who are both privileged white women who are never framed in a way that asks for the reader's empathy--in fact, the opposite. serena is almost a greater betrayal to women's rights than the men in charge of gilead, and she is far more brutal to offred our main character. that's saying something about people like amy coney barrett, and if we just write off this book as a pity piece for the white women who see themselves in offred it's honestly a disservice to other characters' roles in the story. it has so much to say and goes even deeper in the show, sometimes in ways i personally didn't even like, so don't think i'm a total apologist for the whole thing. in fact, i'm kind of cold towards atwood now, because while she seems not to be actively wishing harm to trans folks the way jkr is, she also seems not to really care about advocating for trans people. but handmaid's tale doesn't equal atwood, and it's such a cultural cornerstone at this point that it's unreasonable to expect any person who cites it to have a thorough timeline of everything problematic about the story and author.

anyway, in the books and show -- each handmaid that's given any kind of backstory is different, but they are united by one thing: being oppressed by a christofascist society. kiiinda like real life, right now. it's very relevant to EVERY afab person's potential future and does a good job of showing what a christofascist state looks like. when i saw that term for the FIRST TIME EVER yesterday i immediately was like, "oh, that's gilead." probably a lot of people had the same thought process, just by being somewhat exposed to literature and popular media.

i just think it would be rly nice if people stopped shutting down others who are trying to put into words what they fear for their own futures the best way they can, relating to popular media. it's not helpful and it feels, at least to me, like yet another straw of "shut up women" to add onto the camel's back. you don't have to like or reference tht or find value in it as a feminist piece of literature, but i would love to see fewer tweets belittling the analogies people are making in their shock or people directly replying to tweets like "well actually," especially if the person being critical isn't afab.

i'm not advocating for the handmaid's tale to be the pinnacle of feminist literature at all, but you have to acknowledge that to a lot of afab people of ALL races and sexualities and socioeconomic statuses, especially those older than gen z, it has been for the majority of their lives. let them hurt and explore that hurt. be kind. we're all so fucking pissed and hurt and tired right now.

or don't, but i've said my piece and it felt good to get out

(also it's not lost on me that tht is written by a woman and i don't see nearly as much "well actually"ing about male authors' literature that is commonly mentioned in progressive social justice-adjacent spaces)

(and yeah it's corny for people to cosplay handmaid's i'm pretty sure margaret atwood is cringing too)

#the handmaid's tale #tht #margaret atwood

[kalforhelp]

i think i just need to vent out into the world for a minute so feel free to ignore this (also im sorry but there will be mny typos, im rly bad at typing on mobile and i dont have the energy to go back and fix every single one rn)

im just... so tired of my emotons getting the best of me

as a kid, i was the "quiet child", the "good kid," the one that teachers loved and parents used as an example for every other kid out there

i never burst out in tears,i never had a fit i never had a tantrum, i never caused problems, never screamed, never hit anyone, never never never

i didnt express my emotions like that

eventually, what was most likely a trauma response/learned behavior turned into the expectation. so, as i grew up, i felt like i couldnt express myself. i couldnt be loud. i couldnt be anything than the quiet little angel everyone expected of me.

in my later teen years, tbis caught up to me. my emotions buult up and had no where to go. i was a balloon ready to pop

i kept forcing emotions so deep within me that i convinced myself they werent there

around this time was when i was diagnosed with anxiety and depression.

every once in a while, this build up gets to be too much and all i want to do is s c r e a m. i want to yell at pwople. i want to get mad, get angry, say and do hurtful things. i never do. i always feel shame before i can even think about releasimg my emotions the way i want to.

this is a good thing and a bad thing. obviously i dont really want to hurt or scare anyone. but i never learned any healthy ways to release this pure anger that threatens to blow up and hurt me and everyone in range.

it juat keeps buulding up.

i dont know what to do

i had a thwrapist once. he was a great guy and pr9bably very good at his job, i had nothing against him. he just didnt know how to help me the way i needed to be helped

i cant express how im feeling because i dont know what my own feelings are

ive been shoving them away for too long theyve become unrecognizable

my emotions have become a demon in my head, a being made of shifting darkness woth no shape. this demon is locked in a tiny box in my head, and by god is it hungry and desperate to escape.

im not asking for sympathy, im not looking for advice. i think this, this is enough to feed the beast for today, to calm it down. i guess writing and talking about it really is its own form of release.

if u actually read this far, im so sorry, that got a lot deeper and darker than i had intended

#venting #depression #mental illness #i think i might draw something about this #im not much of an artist but eh #uhh should i put any TWs? #so yeah pls dont repress ur emotions its not healthy #go scream in the woods if you have to #dont be like me

[ethereiling]

#avpswjy #idk how to talk abt Any of this properly so time to just b vague i guess #but im Frustrated and tired #i just want to not be expected to be certain ways #its frustrating living w someone who has a very different mindset than you about certain things #and you know you cant really talk about your side or theyll be upset or think smths wrong with you #and like #both povs are valid in their own way? #but i feel forced into a box a lot of the time and its rly frustrating to me #i just want to move out and live somewhere far away where i only need to interact with people that i actually care about and not go to like #family gatherings with people that are exhausting to be around #mums fine most of the time but she Does force me to go to these things and i just want to die #'its important to this person that you go' oh this person that hasnt tried to talk to me in months? hm #i dont mind doing things i dislike when its important to someone #but when i only get that information secondhand i begin to wonder how important it really is to them #i just want to live on my own and have no obligations other than the ones i want to hold #i want to be entirely myself and not worry about what people will think #because its easy to say 'just dont care' but sometimes you just dont want to make the tone of your house Awful #so you just stay quiet #like okay!!! maybe im hypersensitive to conflict #but i dont want to deal with that anyway #this probably doesnt even make sense but its ok im just angy #someone steal me for a while #i cant work rn but ill live under your bed and you just have to slide a sandwich under there every so often #if only there wasnt a pandemic :^)))))) then id actually visit friends or have them over

[this-is-ally-and-im-confused]

hey!! if requests r open can u do a jack hughes x reader where its an interview where jacks emtional bc they lost and the interviewers keep prying and it makes him even more emotion and hes on a verge of tears and his voice is breaking and after the reader comforts him and he breaks down and its rly cute and fluffy? also i loved ur last jack hughes imagine and i cant wait for pt 2 if ur making one!!!

Thanks for the request! and part two to “for you” is in the works! Love the support xoxo, Ally<3

Stop the pain|| J.Hughes.

Summary: what do you do when your strong, calculated, and mostly unemotional partner starts to crumble?

Tags: @hugheshugs @nucksgal03 @snugglyducklingbrewhouse @oowenspower tag list

Warnings: sad jack, breakdowns, losing games, and comfort fic :)

your pov:

Jack was always so strong. He has been your support through everything. He was there for graduation, prom, and college acceptance. You were there for him too. You had happily stood beside him on draft day, and always been the loudest fan in the crowd. You have seen your fair share of bad losses.

Thankfully, jack always seemed to snap out of the loss soon after the buzzer rang. Unfortunately, this game was different. Jack had taken some hard hits and even gave an easy breakaway to the opposing team. You could tell he was blaming himself.

Biting your nails as you watched him get a penalty for 2 minutes. Your eyes followed him onto the penalty box with his head down low. Likely, wishing that the other team didn’t score on the power play.

It didn’t go in the Devil's favor at all. You could tell the boys were losing the battle. You could also physically see the effects it was having on Jack. His hands pulled his hair. The rims of his eyes were turning a shade of red.

All you wanted to do was get to him and pull him into your arms. Jack needed you. His eyes were scanning for you but also focused on the tragedy of a game in front of him. It was dreadful to hear the final buzzer and see not one goal made on your boyfriend’s team. You packed your things and said goodbye to the other wags. They shot you sad smiles as you walked off to go find Jack.

You weren’t expecting him to be doing a post-game interview because of how upset he had been while on the ice but the players coming out of the dressing room informed you he was. So you walked briskly to the frame outside of the interview camera to watch. Jack looked awful. You could see how exhausted and disappointed he was just by the look on his face. He shot you a sad look and mouthed that he would be done soon.

“So Jack, how does it feel to have watched such an easy win for the other team,” the rude, high-pitched interviewer asked. You saw jack shrug and try to keep his composure. He was fiddling with the headset and his jersey. All he wanted was to be home and in your arms.

“Umm..uh..it never feels good to be on the losing side of the battle, but..uhh we tried to get it back,” he stammered out,” we need to work on something’s, sometimes that’s how games go.”

His voice was cracking–his thoughts were everywhere. You were outraged that they would pose such sensitive questions to him after such a game. After a few more questions, a lot more heartbreak, your boyfriend's suffering was over. The interview ended.

Jack went to grab his things. You immediately went to wait for him–texting him that you would go and get the car so that you two would get head home quickly.

The second jack got into your car you could tell that he had been crying. His hair was damp, his eyes were glossy, and he had a fake smile on his face. He reached his hand over to hold yours silently. You didn’t want to push him.

You knew better than to try and force Jack to talk to you. He would when he was ready.

The ten-minute drive from the arena back to your shared apartment went by quickly. You hummed to the soft music playing on the radio. The whole trip home Jack just stared out the window silently. you almost thought he was asleep by the time you parked.

“Jacky, we're here.” He shuffled out of the car and walked to grab his bag from the back. You went to unlock the door and put on some food. Having already had dinner prepared before the game, you turned on the oven and placed the lasagna inside.

That’s when you heard it.

The sound of sobs rang through the house. It was Jack. You tumbled through the hall to find where he was. Jack was sitting on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands. He looked so very fragile. The world was putting its weight on your boy's shoulders. No matter how hard you would try, you couldn’t fix it.

“Jack, I love you, I need you to take a deep breath” you lovingly stated. Your arms snaked their way around his shoulders and pulled his head into your chest. You just hoped that he couldn’t hear how quickly your heart was racing. Jack had never broken down like this. sure, you had seen him have a rough game or two, but you’d never seen him so defeated like this. His head was pressed into your neck. He was clinging onto you as if you disappear if he’d let go.

This was the same Jack Hughes that went through every day with a smile, the Jack that would laugh constantly, and the boy that was undeniably himself. That Jack had been reduced to a heartbroken and self-doubting boy.

“How can I help you, Baby?” you ask. You knew that you’d do anything and everything for your boyfriend. Hell, you’d go and fight every man ever of that opposite team despite your inability to fight and the fact they all had +3” on you. “hold me,” Jack mumbled into your chest as he continued to shake. You did what he asked until the timer on the oven went off.

By now, his sobs had faded into ragged breaths. The few final beeps on the timer signaled dinner was ready. You were gentle as you pulled away from Jack, leaving a soft kiss on his head, and went to pull the lasagna out. You cut it into small pieces put it onto some plates. You poured two glasses of water.

Meanwhile, in the other room, jack changed himself into sweats and a hoodie. With watery eyes and a shaky voice, he tried to tell you that he wasn’t hungry. He knew that you wouldn’t let him go to bed without at least having a few bites and a glass of water. He listened to your loving nagging.

Most days, your boyfriend would resist you trying to baby him. After the day he had, he needed it. He felt comfortable knowing that he’d always have you to pick him back up when he fell, and you knew that you always had him.

You grabbed his hand and led him back to your shared room. Where you asked him to put on a show for you two to watch. Then you went back to the kitchen to clean up dinner. Once finished, you tiptoed into your bedroom to be greeted by a sleeping Jack.

He snored softly with his hair covering his eyes. oh, how you loved this boy. You made sure that his water bottle is full and he was tucked in by plenty of blankets. Once you were completely ready for bed, you pulled the boy to rest lightly on your chest. Whispering sweet nothings to him as he slept. All you could hope is that tomorrow he would feel a bit better.

#nhl imagine #nhl blurb #jack hughes x reader #jack hughes imagine #hockey imagine #nhl angst #nhl fluff

[imeverywoman420]

Honestly that makes sense bc I only really like dynamics with women so I’m like maybe they’re lesbionic. A lot to unravel though bc I haven’t watched Hannibal in many years. Watching season 2 now. How is Hannibal a woman/what’s he like when he’s in love? Will just tried to get that guy to kill Hannibal what do u think that did to Hannibal in his brain. Ignore if u want but I think u like to talk about this, I like ur thoughts on it as well bc u don’t have fandom brain but u still r having fun with Hannibal I believe while also taking it seriously

Ive been waiting fornmy vibe to be right to answer this question. Sorry i talk like jordan peterson when im passionate abt something and im on downers rn so this might not make as much sense as my stimulant addled schizoposting nornally does

My reasoning for hannibal being a woman lies in the way his attraction to will is presented. Its gay in the way that theyre both men. But hannibals attraction to will spiritually is very much womanly.

The whole “hes a sensitive psychopath” thing about hannibal…. His whole entire character arc is womanhood. Being forced by a group of nazi soldiers (ok i forgot if it was nazis or russian soldiers idk it was ww2 its not important) to EAT his sister. It very much gives “not like other girls” in the way that its easy to feel as an Othered woman that you simply are unworthy of love. Its deeper than not liking pink. It is separating yourself from the concepts of femininity in a jungian/energetic way not a gender way like love, softness, empathy etc. women early on are taught to consume love, that we cannot coexist with lovable people. Fighting and clinging for love we are not guaranteed. Unlike men, who are taught that love is just a consequence of being a good enough person.

Compare hannibal lecter to joe from you. Hannibals entire character arc is this push and pull. This testing of people in a very bpd female way. Never once is he outright aggressive. Hes passive aggressive, petty, dramatic, all in a very FEMININE way. Most casual viewers mistake this as run of the mill psycho moid behavior. This is not to say that femininity is indicative of womanhood, just pointing out that hannibals thought process and entire essence is really only understandable if you consider female socialization.

Hannibal lecter is the weird girl on the playground. He is the girl that collects the used condoms of her lovers and sorts them in boxes labelled by zodiac signs. He is the girl that googles “help am i a psychopath” while crying.

And god. The way he looks at will. Its so girlish. That is not a man that wants to fuck, that is a man that wants to be fucked. Mads impish charm rly seals the hannibal lecter is a woman theory. Like if hannibal lecter was a real person he would logically have to be a woman. Theres no way a man could ever be that complex and emotionally sensitive and violent at the same time.

Hannibal Lecter has more in common with jennifer check than norman bates. And im not just talking cannibalism.

#i literally did not answer this ask bc i was afeaid of being nonswnsical #but im afraid this makes no sense at all!

[c-c-cherry]

I saw this hc on insta from kerbabbles, and it's abt Zeppeli being Jonababy's father figure (bc George might've messed him up bad bc he was rly strict with jona) so I was wondering if you have any hcs for this hc. Do ya?

Hello!! I’d never seen this artist before when this popped up in my ask box so I checked them out and HHHHGGGNNNN OH MY GOD I’ve gotten a taste of glory that I’m probably never going to get again because part one is horrendously underwritten but Jesus it was an idea that I’d never even thought of but now I can never live without itjjfhgjkghf

I am now a firm believer now that the reason Jonathan punched toxic masculinity down like a sack of potatoes is because of William Anthonio Zeppeli. This man builty his confidence up so much compared to living with Dio for years AND SHOWED HIM THE LOVE HE DESERVES

So you know what I WILL do? Make some wholesome headcanons because I need to dump my thoughts on this matter somewhere. And because Jonathan Joestar needs a gentle parental figure, too :)

(Go check out Kerbabbles on Instagram! They’ve got that good wholesome shit and inspired this ask and this post!)

Alright without further ado:

◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇

Zeppeli learns by the second training day that raising his voice is a big no-no

-He hasn’t known Jojo for long, but training for the first time is rough

-There’s a lot of methods to Hamon training, especially when you’re first training someone, and he learns pretty quickly that the calm and collected route is the way to go with our boy Jojo

-The moment he starts to raise his voice, even if its out of praise, he can see Jonathan completely stiffen and lose all focus that he initially had

-Jojo just keeps vigorously apologizing each time he’s done it and almost braces himself to get yelled at again

-He refuses to talk about why he reacts this way and Will ain’t gonna lie,,,that shit’s kinda concerning ;-;

-But he makes due with it and makes sure to be chill with praise and criticism alike :)

Jonathan’s perfectionism is surprisingly extremely high

-A bit of a flaw with Jonathan is that he’s not only very wary of things he isn’t perfect at, but he also gets impossibly frustrated when he can’t do them perfectly from the beginning >:(

-He’s like one of those sweet, soft people that could never raise their voice to people they love but get so angry with themselves that they just end up glaring really hard at the ground until they start crying out of pure frustration

-George Joestar fucked him up in that sense

-He was always raised to be perfect at everything he did, and when he wasn’t he would be forced to keep on going until he could or deprive him of things when he couldn’t

-Because of Dio humiliating him at every mistake he made as they were growing up, he’s just fucking terrified of failing in front of other people

-He’ll screw something up and get ready for a barrage of insults only for Will to be like “its okay, just try again”

-It gets to the point where he starts thinking that if he hasn’t disappointed Zeppeli yet, he’s bound to at some point and starts being the one who’s actually the hardest on himself

-When he messes something up, he’ll go without dinner because his logic is ‘if I don’t punish myself then he will and that’s even more shameful’

-It starts to get noticeable and in the end Will is practically shoving a soup bowl into his hand like “son you need to eat” and Jojo is so fucking confused because he didn’t do anything right so how could he possibly earn it?

-It ends up with the two of them arguing over it while Speedwagon and Poco are just sitting there like ;_;

“I don’t need this. I haven’t earned it.”

“You’ve been training all day! Of course, you’ve earned it!”

“I haven’t done a single thing right today! I shouldn’t—”

“You need to eat to keep your strength up.”

“But I don’t—”

“You don’t what?”

“I don’t—deserve it!”

“Who said you didn’t deserve it?”

-And the moment he says that, Jojo gets this look on his face and Zeppeli’s internally like shit fuck and Jonathan absolutely crumbles

-His mind goes back to all those nights growing up that he didn’t earn or deserve dinner that night because he couldn’t master whatever skill George wanted and Dio could do

-Because of course he needs to be punished for being bad and messing up, its the only way he can learn

-Because what other way was there?

“...”

“...you always deserve it.”

-There. Are. Tears.

-Jonathan slurps up his soup like a good boy and THERE ARE TEARS

-And he eats his dinner that night knowing he does deserve it (because Will and Speedwagon won’t stop reminding him <3 )

Speedwagon is asthmatic (and Zeppeli figures this out the hard way)

-He’s always wondered why Speedwagon is basically incapable of learning Hamon because the man seems to have a lot of skill in combat and even more in resilience

-Speedy doesn’t really seem to know either but he said he’s just awful at controlling stuff like his breathing so that must be why

-Will just thinks he’s over-exaggerating for the most part

-Until one really chilly night he wakes up to someone gasping for air

-He creeps over and realizes its Speedwagon and tries to get him to regulate but he just keeps gasping that he can’t

-He thinks its a panic attack of some sort and tries to reassure him that he can and it's alright but it doesn’t help and he comes to the realization that Speedwagon literally cannot breathe

-He props our boy Speedy up and and rubs his back to help him actually fuckin’ breathe and does some cool Hamon ripple shit and JONATHAN AND POCO SOMEHOW ARE JUST ABLE TO SLEEP THROUGH THIS

-After coughing a significant amount, he’s finally stabilized and Will’s like “bro what the fuck was that” because Speedy just seems absolutely cool with it

-”Oh, I told you I couldn’t breathe sometimes, didn’t I?”

-Hggnnn he didn’t think the man meant it literally

-He can’t really teach him Hamon, but he does the next best thing: use his Hamon to protect his homie :)

The king of keeping calm >:)

-Yes he is the calm dad friend. Yes he will use this to his advantage

-Sometimes Jojo gets too worked up about everything and focuses so hard on breathing that he forgets how to breathe entirely and our man is there to help

-Breathing exercises? Yeah. Meditating? Hell yeah. Sometimes just being the one to hug you and say that everything is going to be okay? MEGA HELL YEAH.

-Between: 

Speedwagon: a known freak-outer

Jonathan: who’s been living in the Joestar mansion his entire life and doesn’t have a shred of street smarts

And a literal CHILD 

 he needs to be doing damage control all the damn time

The dad energy is impeccable

-He was a father, after all. He’s good at what he does

-BEST HUGS HANDS DOWN. Just looking at this man gives off good hug vibes :)

-Is the oldest and most experienced in the group and is always down to drop some sick wisdom

-The dad ‘stache

-Jonathan laments about the looming Dio confrontation a lot and doesn’t sleep as much as he should, but Will is always there to stay up with him

-George never had time to talk about things like feelings, but Jonathan notices that Zeppeli actually...wants to?

-Will claims it’s good for your lungs to get stuff off your chest, but Jonathan is really taken aback when the man starts asking him about how he’s feeling and why

-Before he knows it he’s spilling over and telling him EVERYTHING

-Good cry. Good hugs. Good, cathartic time

◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇

As if I thought I couldn’t get anymore feral with my headcanons. This takes the fucking cake, I think. I’m so feral for phantom blood found family now you don’t even KNOW

Thanks for bearing with me. My ask box is open if you have some good ol’ headcanon questions (or if you just wanna come say hi hehe <3)

#jjba #jjba headcanons #ask-c-c-cherry #jonathan joestar #jojos's bizarre adventure #speedwagon #will zeppeli #phantom blood

[cheekbites-moved]

ok i still havent gotten the secret ending but farming for it might take me a bit so im gonna make a thoughts post for age of calamity now:

Major spoilers obvs so ill put it under a read more

things i enjoyed:

revali beatdown simulator

the controls for the divine beasts are a bit clunky, but i think the angles they used for them did an excellent job at really making the player feel like we were actually controlling a divine beast. so i think it was done well.

link’s personality really gets to shine full force in this game with the amount of cut scenes and it was wonderful to see

every character clearly had a lot of love put into how they operate. they truly all feel unique, & all of their play styles fit them really well in my opinion

the game does a really good job of making you understand what a real threat the monsters are. like in botw they’re intimidating at first, but once you’re far enough into the game they become just an inconvenience to work around if anything. this game managed to actually make certain monsters intimidating for me again, and i think that’s a real accomplishment

the blight battles are actually somewhat challenging in this game and that is truly a commendable achievement lol i think all the bosses are good tbh. i didnt rly dislike or not enjoy any of them.

the way daruk and link’s friendship & urbosa’s motherly relationship towards zelda got to shine was. so good. it’s all i could’ve ever wanted

seeing the descendants again was really nice & it was awesome to see the champions interacting with them!! especially sidon and mipha omggggg. that was. really fucking good shit

kohga. just. kohga in general. getting to see more of him was really rad, he’s such a fun guy! and his english va was Excellent. you could really tell he was having a lot of fun playing him, and it was lovely to see! :)

zelda getting to really shine in this game was also lovely to see. and her being so assertive and badass by the end? omg. it was so wonderful especially after botw. man. 

the combat is done very well imo. im rly glad that they took so many elements from botw, but also added their own flares to make it feel fresh. it was rad.

sidon’s tagline is “winning smile” and his power is “boundless optimism” and i think that’s beautiful

the music in this game is SOOOOO good oh my god. multiple times during playing i had to pause to just appreciate it. it’s pretty much all remixes of botw with a few originals for the new characters, but they all slap. there was not a single song in this game i didn’t like. it is definitely one of my favorite video game soundtracks officially. maybe one of my favorite overall soundtracks in general tbh.

the visuals obviously look just like botw, but it still looked fucking gorgeous at some points. like. man. they really went off to make it look not only faithful to botw as far as appearance goes, but also as far as capturing botw’s beauty and it was. excellent to see!

if anything is true to botw’s backstory, it’s definitely how op link is. cause he was established to be op in botw, & when u finish botw he is also op as hell. he is so fun to play as the higher leveled he gets. he absolutely kicks ass. especially with a two-handed weapon??? daaaaammmmnnn. thats my badass baby boy!!!!

link eating rocks not once, but TWICE. just showing PEAK gremlin energy. 10/10 for those scenes they were great

the ending was really beautiful actually and i did cry like a little baby for it what about it

things i didn’t like:

obviously first and foremost.. this is not the game we were advertised. and no matter how much i overall enjoyed the game, it will always have some layer of being tainted attached to it due to the false advertising. this is not the prequel we thought we’d be getting. & not using “prequel” specifically doesn’t matter when all the advertising, including the box art talks about this being the story of what happened 100 years ago. with no indication it wasn’t the story of what happened 100 years ago in the botw timeline, but a separate universe/timeline entirely. i do hope we get dlc for the game at some point giving us what we were advertised, but at the same time... rly wish that the story that’s in the final game was dlc, & the story we were promised was the original :/ or just having the game have two separate storylines originally would’ve been cool. i just wish it wasn’t falsely advertised. 

fort hateno can fucking eat my whole entire shit WHY is that part so needlessly obnoxious compared to everything else oh my god

being forced to fulfill revali’s power fantasy TWICE hurt my soul

fuck any mission where you have to protect the useless hylian guards. i hate them. they suck.

the ai for player characters when you aren’t playing as them can also be pretty useless. it was really frustrating failing missions because my fellow party members weren’t helping me, and i was basically expected to be in two places at once to get shit done myself. :/ ik you can just switch between characters to make it easier, but like. i like playing as link the most. he’s my favorite character, & ofc since he’s mandatorily played for most of the story, he’s gonna be the most leveled up character regardless so he’s just the best to play as in general especially for harder missions. it was annoying to be forced to play as other people Solely cause the ai was so useless.

king rhoam’s attempt at a redemption arc. i’m not sorry that i just fucking hate this man. i don’t mind him entirely in botw bc you can see clear, genuine remorse during the cut scene at the end of the great plateau. but the redemption arc he gets in this game? after all the fucking shit he does in this game? especially when after his ~redemption arc~ i had to sit through a cut scene of him being an absolute fucking asshole to baby zelda after her mother just died????? absolutely fuck that shit. i don’t appreciate that crap at fucking all. he’s a verbally abusive piece of shit and i hate his guts.

obviously there was gonna be some retconning of how certain things worked in botw in order to make this kinda game work but the way sheikah technology works in this game is so goddamn confusing i do not get it. the works of botw are never outright said or explained completely, but it’s straightforward enough that it doesn’t really matter. this game does try to explain certain things and it just becomes. really clunky and confusing very quickly. 

the story is alright, i guess, but..... really confusing/convoluted as hell at times to a point that it’s. really fucking distracting. especially in comparison to how straightforward botw’s story is. like..... cannot help but be annoyed that such a problem wouldn’t have been a thing if they stuck to botw’s story.

i was sad when the egg thing died but i dont like the egg thing.... it is the MAIN reason shit was retconned so much & i just. dont get its purpose. but i did really like the reveal that zelda made it herself. that was good shit!

also the egg glitched out like. a LOT. idk what the fuck was going on with the poor thing but there was multiple times during a cut scene or when i was just sitting there that it was freaking out in the background and it was rly weird

elemental overworld boss monsters................. obnoxious. especially elemental guardians like goddamn bro what the fuck

i know warriors’ games aren’t about exploring anyway but the limitations for exploring was really sad/frustrating. this is still somewhat the world of hyrule before the calamity, which is something we’ve always wanted to see. not being able to explore even the immediate area at certain points because of shit like timed missions was really upsetting, man. :( i just wanted to see hyrule castle Before the calamity why was did they have to rob us like that.....

creepy corrupted egg’s transformation. why. what was that. what the fuck

even though i did enjoy the boss fights, it did get. incredibly taxing eventually to have to fight the SAME bastards so many times. like yeah botw is also guilty of this with the blights, but goddamn.... at least i have a choice to avoid certain encounters with them? this game has you fighting the same bitches like upwards of 3-4 times. it was. really annoying tbh. like the fights themselves are enjoyable, but damn we added new characters and it still inevitably lacked variety in boss fights.

no playable kass >:( if he’s available later in dlc then fine but i wish he was playable in the original game. so many random choices you’d never expect are. why couldn’t he also be there >:(

overall:

it will forever have that sour taste for the false advertising attached to it unfortunately, but that aside, i overall did enjoy the game! i think it has a lot to love in spite of the issues i encountered. as someone who has this as their first warriors game as well, it did lend itself to letting me see the appeal of them. idk if i’ll get more, but i do get why they’re so beloved/popular now. it was an alright time, with some amazing highlights that i’m gonna think back on very fondly for a very, very long time. if i had to rate it..... 7/10 

#hw #aoc #hw aoc #hyrule warriors #age of calamity #legend of zelda #botw #danni plays hw aoc #mine #long post #v long post sorry lol i have so many thoughts/feelings

[willykappymarnsmatts]

Wrong Direction: Chapter 2 (K. Kapanen)

@moriellymakesmesoft

“I just got off the phone with Max,” it's been two weeks since I've moved into Will’s place, my stuff still in boxes all over the apartment.

“Oh?’ William responds, tossing me a smoothie from the fridge as we get ready to go to practice. I still go to sleep in tears and wake up with puffy eyes, but Willy makes me feel like everythings going to be okay, if not today then someday soon. “How is he?”

“Good,” I tell him, scratching at the back of my neck, refusing to look up at him knowing what comes next. “He asked me to come stay with him. Well, he didn't ask. He's kinda forcing me.”

“Oh,” Will says. He turns around and faces me with a look on his face of a mix of betrayal and hurt, and it makes me want to burst into tears. “Um, well, are you gonna go?”

“I have to, babe. He's my brother, and he said that if I don't come by myself he'll pack my things for me the next time he comes to Toronto.” I feel bad, but I do miss Max.

Willy just frowns at me. “When are you leaving?”

“Uh, tomorrow. He said he'd buy me a plane ticket.”

“To Montreal?! I could drive you!”

“I know, its okay. He’s the one paying so I don't really care honestly. Don't we have to get going?’

“Yeah,” he giggles, glancing at the watch on his wrist.

On our way to the arena, I take deep breaths to try to calm my racing heart and shaking hands. Seeing Kasperi this often still hurts just as bad as seeing him in bed with that girl. But the whole situation has given me a lot of inspiration for a new song that i've been working on, bouncing ideas off of Will day and night.

He notices my agitation and reaches over to grab my hand. “After this, you won't ever have to see him or me ever again.”

“Hey, don't say that,” I pout. “I'll be back and i'll move back in with you, if you let me, in a couple months. I just need a break from Toronto. Everything I know is laced with memories of him. I can't even enjoy your games because he's there.”

Will nods without looking away from the road. “You're always welcome at my place. We’re all still really pissed at him, you know. Mitch hasn't spoken to him since that night, and you know how Mitch is. Auston doesn't even look at him, and Zach’s only talking to him because he feels bad that everyone is making every effort to ignore him but me. The whole fucking team loves you, Y/N. Oh, and Derms took a slapshot at his ankle the other night and he had to sit out for an entire period.”

My eyes are brimmed with tears and I have to look up at the ceiling of the car to keep them from spilling over. “Can you let the guys know i'm leaving? I'll obviously talk to them, but I don't want to be the one to break the news to them.”

Will nods. “Of course.” he smiles at me then and looks away from the road for a split second to wipe away a tear.

•••

I sit in the third row to watch the boys’ practice and try to continue writing, but the yelling and pucks hitting the boards constantly is distracting, so eventually I give up and watch them skate. During a water break, I catch myself watching Kasperi. All he does is take a few deep breaths, but watching him like this, as if nothing ever happened, makes my heart shatter. Before I can look away, he looks up at me and I watch his entire face fall. He stares at me and I stare back. He studies me, as if to memorize me. I can't look away, and he refuses to skate away. He continues forward, until he's at the boards and we’re a few feet away from each other. Neither of us can pretend we weren't looking at each other. He stops, and so does my heart. And we just watch each other. Just stare. My heart is breaking with every moment that passes, and my stomach hurts, because he was my everything.

A whistle blows. Kasperi whips his head around. The sounds of the rink come back into my ears, and we’re both taken out of the world where we were the only two people who existed. He skates away, glancing back at me once before never looking back at me again.

•••

“Y/N,” Willy says as soon as I answer his facetime call. I've been in Montreal with Max for about two months and I released my song about a week ago. Wills is driving back from practice, which is when he gives me a rundown on how “incredible” he was and how he's gonna kick ass at the next game. But today he looks anything but confident, his forehead a mass of worry lines and his mouth turned down into a frown.

“Y/N, your song is saved on my playlist, and I got the aux this morning. After practice, it came on. Most of us were singing, and I glanced at Kap, and he was just sitting there in his stall. He wasn't moving. Just staring straight ahead.”

I sit up. “Woah, slow down. I thought Kasperi and I were finished.” When I moved away, after the day at the rink, Will told me that Kasperi stopped seeming to care. He was out with a different girl every two days, bringing random girls home every day of the weekend. It still hurts, but it hurt more to realize that our entire relationship meant nothing to him. But if Will is telling the truth, which I don't doubt he is, it makes everything a whole lot more confusing.

“I thought so too, but listen. I think that it was your voice at first, Y/N. He hasn't heard your voice in months. And then he heard the rest of the song, he listened without moving, and as soon as it ended he got up, in just his slides and shorts, and fucking left the room.”

I'm silent, letting Will talk. “The rest of us didn't know what to do, so I tried to follow him. I found him in the weights room, and he was in tears.” Will flicks on the turn signal and turns onto his street, then glances at his phone to see if he should continue the story. I nod at him, holding my breath to keep from breaking down at the thought of Kasperi.

“I went to him and sat with him, and he just cried. I haven't seen him cry since he thought I was getting promoted to the bigs and he wasn't. But he was sobbing. So I sat with him, and eventually he calmed down enough to choke out that he misses you. He told me the girls were a front, and that he hasn't been able to sleep ever since that night. And, Y/N, I dont think he's lying. His eyes always have huge bags under them and he's so shaky. So I asked him why he did it, but he didn't have an answer. He said he missed you and he felt like you didn't love him anymore because you were always out doing stuff for your album, but I told him that was bullshit and he said he knew it. He told me he can't breathe without, and that he hates that he hurt you. So I told him to talk to you, and he said he'd try to text you later today.”

“Damn,” I respond, not sure how to feel. “I want to love him again, but I don't know if I can trust him.”

“You don't have to. He knows he hurt you, and that he has to work to get you back, but I am asking you to please just try to talk to him, because fuck, Y/N, if there’s a such thing as soulmates, it’s you guys. You're both in so much pain. Take your time, keep your walls up, but just talk to him.”

“Okay. Okay, fine.”

“Thank you, beautiful best friend. I'm home now, so I'll call you back in a couple hours?”

“Yeah, that’s cool. See ya.”

He ends the call and I'm left in silence. Then my phone dings with a text notification in my hand, and my heart picks up speed. I know exactly who it is, and I don't want to look at it, not right away, so I throw it across the couch with a pillow on top of it.

I put my head in my hands and try to slow my speeding heart by taking a few deep breaths. “Fuck!” I yell, then silently thank Max for going out a few hours ago. I wipe my face with my hands and sit straight up.

I stare at the pillow my phone is sitting under, knowing without ever checking that there is a text from Kasperi Kapanen waiting for me. My phone dings again and my heart jumps. I stand up and rip my phone from under the pillow.

‘wrong direction huh’

‘i miss u’

I cover my mouth with my hand and my eyes brim with tears. I sit back slowly onto the couch and read over the messages two, three, four more times before unlocking my phone and tapping on the text bar.

‘Dang, how'd u know it was abt u?’

I smile slightly as I type out the message and hold my breath when I hit send. I don't have to wait even a second before the three bubbles come up on the screen.

‘no idea’

‘ig im just tht good’

I laugh and type out another response.

‘Imyt. How r u?’

I bite my lip when the text bubbles come up, and a few seconds later his response comes.

‘could be better tbh. can’t sleep @ the apt nymore so i spend the nites b4 games @ 1 of the guys places’

My breath catches at the words. Then another message pops up.

‘im so sry 4 everything’

I bite my lip and close my eyes, taking a breath.

‘Thx. I havent stopped thinking abt u’

‘me neither’

I take another deep breath. Kasperi was my favourite person, my person, for so long. It's scary how easily we can fall back into simple, comfortable conversation, as if nothing ever happened. So I decide to be straight up and honest with him, and if he really does still care about me, he’ll understand.

‘U broke me, Kasperi. I never thought tht u would hurt me, and u literally broke me. I miss u more than nything and it hurts so bad to b without u, but seeing u in bed with another girl, tht broke me. It felt like our whole relationship was built on lies, and tht u never actually cared abt me. So yeah, i cant stop thinking abt u, and i want to b able to love you again, but u broke my trust and idk if ill ever trust u like i did before.’

I hit send and feel like I'm going to be sick. Everything I type I’ve told Will and all the other guys, but after the day I left the apartment, I never spoke to Kasperi about anything. The three bubbles come up on the screen and I hold my breath, then they disappear. They come up and disappear a couple more times, until a message finally pops up on the screen.

‘i wish i could take back everything i ever did 2 hurt u, but ik its not tht ez. i rly do want 2 fix this, tho. would u b down to ft l8r?’

I can't breathe, but I manage to type out a response without screaming.

‘Sure. Just text me when ur ready’

I take a deep breath and click my phone off. I'm about to get up when my phone dings again. I glance at the message and it makes my chest feel like it's going to explode.

‘ok i will <3’

I smile down at the screen and go to plug in my phone so it's charged when Kasperi wants to call. I really don't know if I'll ever be able to trust him again, but the least I can do is give him a chance to apologize. He's already broken me so badly, even if he lets me down again nothing will compare to the amount of hurt I’ve already felt.

#kasperi kapanen #kasperi kapanen fic #kasperi kapanen/reader #kasperi kapanen imagine #william nylander #hockey imagine #toronto maple leafs fic #toronto maple leafs #toronto maple leafs imagine #hockey fic #nhl #nhl hockey #nhl hockey fic #nhl hockey imagine #willykappymarnsmatts

[diveronarpg]

Hello, hello again! Welcome to DAY SIX! The anticipated moment of reviewing the survey responses for some our favorite moments within the group has arrived. Looking at these again and looking back, it becomes immediately clear just how important it is to remember what makes all of us as close as we are and how much we’ve gone through together, from the funny moments to the heartwarming ones.

Below the cut you’ll find compiled responses from members of the group, recanting and recalling things that made them laugh, things that made them cry, and just what makes this group as special as it is: you guys! Two years is a long time for a group to stay together, and that’s a lot of time for jokes and laughs to kick up alongside all the inside jokes. We don’t expect anything of you today -- read, review, have a chuckle, enjoy!

OOC

Realizing that our Lina is the same Lina I was friends with in an RP about 4, 5, something years ago, and lost contact with. <3 

Tomas’s Arthur write this

Ship shart/ bung chart

fourteen bras

It's old but, this pin from Dadley never fails to make me laugh: 💖dadley / regina, matt & theo 💖04/02/2019 And with that, it's lit. The witches dab in unison."

Also, 'Infant King' and Alexander being a James Dean Vibe as he stares out a window.

when paola stole an orange from everett

when alyx and adri switched names and icons on discord and even made julie switch her name and minnie was like sharpay in hsm this is not what i want. this is not what i planned. and ive just got to say. i do not understand.

viv knocking over alvas pho

graces bag of greens swinging as she pushes heloise against a building

graphic sapphic hand holding

cat getting trampled by a horse

IN DA STREETZ

alyx forcing us to stan steve harvey as alvise

Gracie pretending to not be soft but being soft af 

DIVERONA

Seriously though - all the plot drops were good times, tbh. All of them brought the group together and made us laugh/bond/etc. :'')

I've been following your group on tumblr ever since you began your journey (i think) without applying and i just want to say i'm incredibly happy you're still around, still active. wish you all the best!!

one of my favorite parts of DV is how interactive and engaged everyone is with all the threads on the dash. no other group i've been part of would have members leaving comments on threads in reaction to the replies and it's been truly such a joy to see the little notification box tick whenever i post a particularly spicy or sad reply and know that folks are vibing with it

i've never been in a group as welcoming and inclusive as dv. members get excited about reading your threads, the passion that people have for their muses bleeds through everything they write, and there's never a dull moment. the admins are always working hard to make a creative environment that challenges its members in the best way. i haven't been here since day one but i feel like i have :) 

DV is such a special community and rp! i was new to tumblr rp when i joined and all of you were accepting and helpful as i learned how to navigate it. some of my favorite plots and connections have come from this group, whether it's my own personal ones or ones i've had the pleasure of reading on the dash. everyone is so creative & talented, and the excitement to try new dynamics or directions for plots has made it so rewarding to watch dv and its characters grow and develop from where they were when i first joined! i think seeing where the characters/plots started and how far they've come has been my favorite part of dv, but i love the friendships i've made on the way & how comfortable it is to talk to any of you (whether we've written together or not!) love you all, and especially the admin team who have made it the place it is, and blessed us with 'infant king.'

you say go off and i WILL GO OFF i love dv so much and i really just can't pick one reason. because like 1) it's full of so much talent like i can always plot out interesting and development-satisfying threads because people are down to plot and 2) it's got such a great canon plot like the admins are GENIUS and write so damn well and i feel so immersed in their world and 3) everyone's rly nice i've made so many lifelong friends because of dv and i'm just really grateful for that. also special shoutout to the admins because you guys are so amazing and talented and always know what to say and you put in so much hard work and i promise you it is recognized and appreciated i love you guys so damn much it's not even funny

#diveronaadmin

[tigsousa]

INTRODUCING TIGS… @gallagherintro​​

⌠ CHAY SUEDE, 22, CISMALE, HE/HIS ⌡ welcome back to gallagher academy, THIAGO “TIGS” SOUSA! according to their records, they’re a FIRST year, specializing in UNDECIDED; and they DID NOT go to a spy prep high school. when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of (a shittier silver chain than connell’s, eDgY shirts with missing buttons, book rolled into back pocket, flipping everyone off, rolled cigarette tucked behind ear, bruised eyes or just bags?). when it’s the (aquarius)’s birthday on 20/01/1998, they always request their COCO POPS from the school’s chefs. looks like they’re well on their way to graduation.

INSPO:

liam gallagher

BIO

grew up in a pretty rough and dangerous neighbourhood in dc, filled with Street Rats

parents: irresponsible, violent, addicts, basically only kept him for the benefits. home life was pretty miserable where he picked up most of his traits and habits.

but at one point it got so bad, his grandma reported them and took him in. they served some time in jail. he doesn’t know what they’re up to now, doesn’t care to find out either.

no one’s perfect -- his dad obvs gets it from somewhere -- but his grandma's love doesn’t make him cry. 

but he was an ungrateful lil shit ! so after a big argument, he left her and ran away/taken to LANDAN with a gang of grifters he met on da streetz for some gigs and what he thought would be Big Money

street fights were a common occurrence re: snatch *mickey o’neil vc* i’ll fight ya for it … if dc is here he learned how to fight, london is where he learned to fight dirty

the gang began to pull cons on a Bigger Scale until they got caught ! he was a Big Coward and ran away … but was sent back to the u s of a with 0 money lol (was p traumatic actually! ppl got killed! it still haunts him!)

came back 2 grandma n said sry a bajillion times n they made up

gma works as a housekeeper for a big time politician fam in d.c. and would get a few smol jobs for him as a pool boy or whatever else rich ppl have

but then his gma got ill and they don’t have medical insurance or da money for treatment so he dropped outta school and continued 2 swindle, in d.c. or where the money was tbh

gd thing about d.c. is politicians and they have lots of money !!!

it felt weird to scam people by himself. he wasn’t used to working alone so he started off small: hung out in bars, targeted politicians. end up in a hotel - they paid for it. long story short he got enough ammo to blackmail them into giving him $$ or he’d sell photos/videos to journalists ... n we all know how homophobic politicians are :clown emoji:

newayz … one of the cons ended up being a trap (fffff). they knew about his lil tricks n wanted to use him so proposed a deal: they’d pay for his gma’s everything, put her in the best hosp, pay off debts, send him to a good school which would secure his future !! in return they wouldn’t hand him over 2 da popo, clear his record, but he’d work for them + blackmails their opponents to strong arm them into votes or w/e

obvs he said yes bc he luvs his gma ..

PERSONALITY

Edgy n Cockney

has a dog called amigo

eats cereal out of the box for breakfast lunch n dinna xx it’s vegan xx

talks rly slowly, super lazy, as if he’s high 25/8

had 2 grow up quick so he is Mature but wasn’t allowed/able to Process all of his Shit so acts out + has childish tendencies (shock!)

super selfish + looks out for himself First … soz it just how it be it’s nothing personal

prefers to ruin things on his own terms so he is unforch #TeamFuckThingsUp

likes breaking thangs, likes burning thangs, likes gettin into fites .. For Fun !

rly just does what he wants regardless of whether it hurts other ppl – doesn’t rly care abt right/wrong .. aloof/detached/boner 4 nihilism yada yada

maybe that’s due to him liking d.c. coke a lot … a coping mechanism<3 microdosing mostly<3

if u get over all of that lol then he has a Deep side n has a lot of thots (which will b hard for me but o well) can be caring etc.

anti govt, anti rich, fuck da system a la vincent cassel in la haine etc. etc.

surprisingly Smort, likes 2 read + retains info like a sponge, good at exams without rly trying, will happily take exams for $$

likes getting to know ppl tho not out of genuine interest but also won’t say shit about himself

everyone at gallagher is stupid smart n kinda show offy abt it … highkey grinds his gears because he rly hates rich ppl and the govt and will fight u on it

will rationalise himself being at gallagher by saying he’ll destroy the system from inside out !!! lol ye rite

prefers to sit at the back, blend into the background, do his own thing

never chases after anything so if he does be suss

big fan of documentaries - louis theroux daddy

CONNECTIONS

friends: prefers 2 b more lowkey, more of a small chill group of ~pals than big groups of dumbos re: bros chat.

ex-friends: gimme platonic heartbreak! he has a tendency 2 fucc things up on purpose and will not hesitate to burn bridges 2 hide in da smoke (deep)

flings: type to kick u out bc he sleeps better alone and won’t hit u up for at least a week … no hard feelings</3

ex-flings: no emosh capacity for a full on relationship but it could’ve ended for a lot of messy reasons !! makes me laff

exes? he doesn’t rly believe in monogamy i’m sry . probs would’ve messed ur chara around a bit :// or mb it could’ve been legit srs i o n o

fre/enemies: he just … has 0 loyalties tbh so

met ur match: someone who just runs circles around him + plays his game better than he does ! its Messy !

senator’s kids: ur chara’s parent the one who took tigs in! probs shud be a Baddie tho

i cleaned ur pool: mayhaps he was ur pool boy one (1) summer + stole some of ur shit, maybe they got along, maybe they hate each other

pot head gang: talking about conspiracy theories on da rooftop at 2am pls ty

anti-painkiller: someone who is feeling shitty so hits him up to feel even worse . this cud become soft tbh . extra Spice if she wants 2 keep it a secret

underlined the good bits: based on dis lil nugget but instead of saving mankind make it taking down the government lol or a lil discussion or legit anythinnnn :-) bonus points if they dk each other :-)

why didn’t u ask me to stick around?: *peyton sawyer vc* erry1 alwayz leaves … n so did he !

the worst best partner: they were forced 2 partner up together but they rly rile each other up but lowkey werk well together and got a smashing grade ! he doesn’t care abt grades so probs someone who is a Show Off so he gets Aggro

if any of these fit ur chara/u vibin wit em, holla + we can go from there: uno, two, three, three and a half, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten point five, and most importantly: ot3 !!!!! and another one

#gallagher:intro #joining the 'pretend he looks less angry in this gif' gang #benefit of letting this sit for months is comin up wit actual connections uwu #idk wat im doin

[nockfellblues]

I don't know if you do these kinds of asks but how about reader pulling a hunger games type moment and confronting Larry before he kills himself saying if you go I do too I won't let someone I love die alone type thing.

All aboard the angst train ♥  written as a mini fic! TW for attempted suicide! Reader is gender neutral.

If you are in crisis, please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline and get the help you deserve. Call 1-800-273-8255. If you are like me and are afraid to call, there are also live online chat options as well, located HERE! 

You’d known for awhile something was... off with Larry. Ever since Sal had officially moved in with Todd and Neil, Larry had been stadoff-ish on a good day, and on bad days would seclude himself in the tree house, Sanity’s Fall blasting from that tiny stereo so loud you could hear it from your shared basement apartment. To say you were worried about his behavior was an understatement. Especially after you’d begun to notice the pattern of near constant headaches, the fact that he was always saying it was too loud in the apartment, the occasional mutter of, “shut up,” to an empty room when he though you weren’t close enough to hear, and the quickly worsening whip of anger he’d been developing… You were walking on eggshells at any given moment.

Finally, it all hit a breaking point. 

You had been helping Larry pack up the remainder of his non-essentials, getting them ready to go over to his new room at Todd’s. It had been a process to pack a lot of his stuff up- it was a whole lifetime to sort through; countless weird knick knacks to decide to keep or not, finding old drawings and sketchbooks from his childhood, finding a random little thing that had been lost years ago tucked away in a dusty corner someplace… 

To be honest, it had been more reminiscing about his childhood and the memories about each of the items you both went through than it was actually packing. But it was fun, and the wistful smile he wore as he told you stories of his mother, his missing father and his years of shenanigans with Sal and Todd made every wasted second well worth it. 

When you unearthed a little silver puzzle box, you expected a fun story and for him to add it into the donation box for the local second hand shop for some needy kid to enjoy it later. But the simple question of, “Trash or stash?” quickly devolved into an argument about how much you didn’t care about his sentimentality or that it was an important object to him- and it just got worse from there- until you gave up, tossed up your hands, and stated you were gonna bring the box you’d finished earlier over to Todd’s while he cooled off, and walked out.

When you’d gotten there, the first thing you did was tell Sal what was up, hoping maybe he’d have some kind of wise words or what you could have done to set Larry off in the first place. Sally, ever the sweetheart, pulled you into a gentle hug, reassuring you that Larry was probably just having a rough patch and that he would talk to him and see if Larry might open up about it. 

Taking Todd up on an offer to stay the night, you threw on a movie and made yourself comfortable on the couch, falling into a dreamless sleep. 

Neil woke you the next morning with a killer cup of coffee and a poor mans breakfast of sugar coated pop tarts. Sally had come around not long after, letting you know Larry had texted him, and they’d be headed to the apartments for some, “Ghost hunting.” He seemed kind of tense but reassured you that he’d talk to Larry today, before he met up with Ash. Of course, you’d thanked him, and settled into Larry’s soon-to-be room to start sorting out some of the easier boxes.

—–

You woke up later, sprawled on the couch, to the sound of Todd rummaging in the kitchen. Yawning, you stretched and made your way out to greet him, smoothing out your bead-head. 

“Hey Todd, how as class?” You asked, grabbing a seat at the kitchen table. 

Todd shrugged, idly stirring an instant noodle cup, “No complaints. How’s Larry’s room coming along? Sal said you were unpacking this morning.”

“Well, I made it through the clothes and some oddball boxes… Did Sally mention anything about Larry by chance?”

Todd shook his head, “No, but he left with Ash almost as soon as he was back, so we didn’t have much time to chat. Knowing Sal, things should be smoothed over. He’s always been able to mellow Larry out like that.” 

With that, you decided to head back and see if Larry was feeling any better after some Sally time. It was getting dark, and the thick clouds looming overhead finally opened into a sweeping downpour just after you had left Todd’s. You stopped under a thicket of trees just off the road, hoping the rain would lessen, when your cell phone went off. 

Larry: [Name] im rly sry. i nvr meant that shit i said.

[Name]: Dude its all good i know youre stressed lately. Im heading back now.

Larry: stay at todds. and just dont blame urself ok? its my time to go.

[Name]: Larry wtf are you talking about? youre scaring me?

Without waiting for a reply you took off towards the apartments at a breakneck run. Bypassing the front door, you ran around the backside of the building to use the back entrance, when you noticed a light on in the old tree house- Then your gaze trailed down to the baggy with a neatly folded paper pinned to the lower steps on the tree.

You felt your blood run cold. He wouldn’t- no. 

“Larry!” You scrambled up the rickety planks, ignoring the note, and all but threw yourself onto the tree house floor. “Larry, don’t!” 

Tucked against the wall of the tree house, just under the little window, sat Larry, an old camping lantern lit in the corner beside him. His eyes were puffy and his hair disheveled, evidence that he’d been crying before. Tears welled in your own eyes as you took in his distraught expression and the bottle of whiskey in his hands. 

“[Name]..?” He whispered your name, and the way his voice cracked brought you to instant tears, and you all but launched yourself at him, pulling him into a desperate embrace. 

“Larry Johnson, you fucking asshole! Don’t you dare- don’t you dare take a sip from that bottle-”

“[Name]-” you cut him off, taking his face into your hands and forcing him to look at you. The circles under his eyes were so deep, and the absolute emptiness in them broke your heart.

“No! You listen here, you fucking string bean- you don’t get to do this. You can’t just… just push me away and expect me not to worry. You can’t just text… text me something like that and not expect me to come running to- to fucking keep you from being stupid! What the fuck am I supposed to do without you?!” You were openly sobbing now, practically screaming at the boy who all but held your entire world in his hands. “You’re all I have! You can’t just-just leave me behind and expect me to move on- who am I without my other half, Larry? Who am I?!” 

He scrunched his eyes closed, tears streaming down his cheeks again, as he shook his head.

“If you fucking kill yourself, I’m going with you. And you can’t stop me.” You knew it was a dirty trick to play, guilting him like this when his soul was this ravaged and he was so vulnerable- but you were being honest. What would you do without him in your life? What about Sal? God, what about poor Lisa? He was so dear to you all, so loved, and he was ready and willing just throw it all away-

“[Name], I-I can’t take it anymore- I just- the cult shit, that demon, the ghosts! The fucking whispers-  they’re dri-driving me insane! I‘m not like you or Sal- I can’t handle this shit anymore!” He finally breaks down into heaving sobs at that, burying his face into your shoulder, and dropping the bottle in favor of a bone-crushing embrace that you readily return.

You kick the bottle away from Larry, as far as you can get it, and quietly thank whoever will listen when the cap pops the rest of the way off, spilling the amber liquid and the mostly dissolved remnants of pills onto the tree house floor.

“…Why didn’t you just tell me? Or even Sal. Someone. You know we’d do anything for you, Larry, absolutely anything.” He didn’t reply, just shook his head and pulled you closer. What the fuck was was this place doing to him? You had to get him out- get him away- Larry’s phone vibrated from the other side of the tree house, but you elected to ignore it, praying whoever was calling was also smart enough to find you both before things got any worse.

He sniffled, hiccuping into you shoulder, “I’m so sorry, [name]. I didn’t mean anything that I said the other day- or anything I said in those other arguments. I just- This- this place is.. I think I’m going crazy-”

You shushed him, smoothing a hand down his hair and he devolved into body-wracking sobs that shook you both with the sheer force of them. Your soul ached for the boy you had known almost all your life- the boy you grew up with, shared secrets with, made countless memories with, and loved with all your heart. 

Why didn’t you see this coming sooner? “I know, Larry, I know. This place- there’s something still wrong with Addison apartments and we’re gonna get you out of here, forever. I promise.” 

“I-I’m so, so sorry, [name]. Please... Please don’t leave me.”

The rain continued to pour in violent sheets outside, but you distinctly heard the frantic voice of Sal, calling Larry’s name, as he ran towards the tree house. You had never felt such absolute relief in your life, even with Larry clinging to you like a lifeline, and the stain of his near-death slowly seeping into the floor of the tree house just behind you.

 “I’m not going anywhere, Larry. I’m with you, always, no matter what happens.”

—fin—

WHEW. I tried to make it so you could read their relationship as either romantic or platonic, and tried to stay as neutral as possible in gender as well! I hope this is alright, and I hope you like it! I’ve actually never seen the Hunger Games so I kinda went my own way ♥

I’d also like to use this space as a PSA:I’ve struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts and tendencies my whole life- don’t let your depression convince you that you are trapped or alone or unloveable. I know its hard, and there’s no easy fix for it, but there are things in life that make it worth sticking around. Even if its something as silly as looking forward to a new game or story or waiting for a flower you planted to bloom, there are reasons to keep living. Please be kind to yourself and remember, even if we’ve never spoken or interacted or existed in the same space, I know that you are worthy of being loved and cared for and you are not alone. 

If ever you feel like you are truly alone in this world, please reach out- there will always be people out here willing to lend a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold, and a friend to those who feel lost ♥ I know i will always be open to anyone out there in need of a friend so, please, never be afraid to reach out!

#sally face #sally face headcanon #sally face imagines #sal fisher #larry johnson #my writing #reader insert #xreader #larryxreader #i know the link will make this not show in the tag #but i wont take it out #it needs to be there #tw: suicide #tw: Depression

[florbexter]

hello it's 4am and i have a LOT of feelings about the history series (history3 in particular) that i need to let out and i'm gonna unload it on u (i'm sorry i have no one to yell to nsjsjsjs)!!!!!! i hope i'm not bothering u too much ok so i just wanna..... scream about history3 + ctl bc of how?? good?? it is??? i know it has its faults here and there and is still, at the end of the day, a BL genre series that isn't meant to accurately portray gay relationships but man!! it has completely +

+ annihilated some common bl drama tropes that literally sends me reeling sometimes??? the tropes are: 1. "i'm not gay/i'm straight, i just like ____" i was so afraid they were gonna make this mistake bc of what ht said to bx but he later says he likes guys and goes on to say it in future eps?? GOD i love him 2. isn't really a bl series (?) if i'm not wrong, chris wu said that he had a conversation w the director and they agreed that "BL" wasn't rly the direction they were going in, but +

+ instead a romance movie? so he studied for his role through watching romance films rather than BL dramas! which is... just crazy to think about?? that the directors actually considered portraying it as ~love~ and not something carved out to cater to straight girls or something? 3. the softest and most unproblematic couples as much as i don't wanna compare dramas, the couples are so soft and loveable? their (w/ the exception of some couples) relationships are just so pure and adorable +

+ to watch grow TT 4. doesn't really establish this weird top/bottom dynamic that other dramas love obviously, top/bottom discourse is disgusting and assigning a sex position based off of physical characteristics is so... Dumb.... and not to mention homophobic bc it forces heteronormative standards on gay couples.. Yoikes!!! but in today's ep seeing haoting straddle(??) xigu was kinda cool bc it's like??? he's this big dude while xigu's quiet and tiny!!! and seeing him put himself in a +

+ vulnerable (ig??) position is very interesting for a drama of this genre i have so much more to say and i can ramble for HOURS but i think i shouldn't flood ur inbox too much lol i'm sorry for unloading on u (bc i don't... even know u nsksns sorry)! if this is too much for u to answer feel free to ignore it! and if u do answer, thank u in advance for entertaining my yelling 💖🥰 again, sorry this is absolute word vomit, i have a lot of feelings

***********

Hiii!

Hey no problem, just word vomit all over my ask-box - I’m ready :D 

I think what the HIStory franchise has going for them in terms of ‘doing it right’ is that they 1. grew from an independent production company and that 2. a lot of the people working for Choco TV are part of the lgbtq+ community themselves. 

I remember that I saw a very heartfelt IG story of the executive producers during the time they fought for same-sex marriage in Taiwan so they are at least allies. And the director of obsessed is a lesbian (love me some lesbian directors) and she married her girlfriend this year *go lesbians!* - so the approach to this kind of material is already very different. 

BL is a genre that, for me, is very tainted and I still have no idea why we just can’t call it mlm or just gay but you know... nobody listens to me XD

It’s nice to see that you have so much fun watching History! I hope the next episodes leave you with the same excitement ❤

#ask #history 3: modc #history 3: trapped #florbexter rambles

[happyhippystuff]

the bf sent a box of pastries over to me two days ago, which made me realise that i am so outrageously loved. the night before, i was so convinced that the bf hates me. sometimes, if i don’t get reminded that i am loved, i forget that and i start to believe what i am used to believing aka i am unlovable. maybe because i have never communicated it across that i need constant reminders so the bf and i doesn’t have a habit of saying i love you to each other. also, i don’t want it to be a case of saying for the sake of saying, but some days i wonder, if its because i haven’t been a good girl that’s why he doesn’t love me (or say i love you). there are many things that i haven’t learnt how to communicate bc a part of me always feels like “oh i should learn and suck it up” but ytd, shuang reminded me that sometimes, the bf needs to learn too. ahhh, i feel like these r things that i will need to LEARN from therapy HAHA 

anyway, work has rly been such a blessingggg. what a difference from NDRC days hahaha. but i’m constantly reminded of God’s love :”) was sharing with S about my previous job, and it rly made me realise that i GREW so much from it. also, she said that i was very mature which i don’t get very often. okay tbh, i do think that my thinking is (or can be) quite matured even tho most of the time, i behave like a kid *_* but she reminded me of a prayer that i made which is to walk through the fire without smelling like smoke - she told me that she couldn’t believe all that i’ve been through bc i don’t seem to have any grudges, and just thank God for keeping my heart pure. also, she said that i had a gentle spirit, and i’ve always prayed to God for a gentle and quiet Spirit. maybe everything was just part of God’s plan to mould me into the woman He has called me to be but !!! just writing it to remind myself :)))) and also, i guess to learn to acknowledge good things about meeee. 

also, i started to realise why things spiralled downwards so rapidly like it was a sudden dip and during this period, while i try to work through my own issues, i will not engage in any conversations that do not benefit me because words/ agreement have power. i haven’t been real about it but a lot of times, i engage in suicidal talks/ body shaming bc it brings me comfort knowing that someone out there feels the same + i am not alone but it is honestly so so toxic (!!!) to be sharing suicide ???? diet ????? methods ?????? and just surrounding myself with people who will edify me. i just got reminded of how j used to tell me to see what fruits people are bearing in your life - if they r not bearing good fruits then they shouldn’t be there. 

just a bunch of random things that has been on my mind and also FORCING myself to write things downnnnn. 

[stomachflu]

hey, remember like a year ago when i was like “maybe i’ll write a second part to the story of how lynn and reed met if i feel like it?” well i’ve been struggling with

and i thought that i’d write something Just For Me to get me back in the swing of things. 

VERY long stomach flu-oriented fic (planning for another few parts! this isn’t the last one!!), very self indulgent. warnings for mentions of scat, but nothing explicit. hope yall enjoy!

---

Lynn groaned as she felt her phone buzz in her back pocket, every muscle in her body aching as she twisted to grab it. It was nearly too much effort to switch the too-bright screen on, let alone read the message with watery eyes. The first one was, apparently, from an hour ago.

>Reed: hey did u make it back home ok

>Reed: lynn

>Reed: are you ok

Lynn closed her eyes, resting her head against the cool metal side of the bathroom stall. She’d traded numbers with Reed after they’d walked her to the clinic before heading to class, where she’d promised to text them that she was okay prior to receiving an official diagnosis of “godawful stomach flu” with the proposed cure of “wait it out, if you can’t keep water down after a few hours then come back for an IV“.

>Lynn: not rly

Her head swam and her hands were shaking, making it hard to compose a message. Reed was already typing a response to her last text.

>Lynn: my roommate’s apparently a germophobe? and she wont let me into the room unless I’m not gonna puke

>Lynn: so ive just been like camping out in the lounge & now I'm like chilling in the bathroom

>Lynn: not great but

She leaned back, exhaling shakily as the stall swam around her. Fuck. She was pretty sure that her fever was increasing as she leaned back over the toilet seat, holding her hair back with both hands as she gagged softly, opaque saliva falling from her lips. She couldn’t bring anything up still, despite the constant sloshing of her stomach being an ever-present reminder of how much there still was in there. When the wave of nausea finally passed, she had two new texts.

>Reed: >:o!

>Reed: youre in the new dorm right

>Lynn: whats up

>Reed: ok I know i’m just some rando you met today but if you wanna crash on my couch or smth its gotta be more comfy than the lounge at 4am

>Reed: i promise i’m not a serial killer tho

Lynn groaned as she stood up, limping out of the bathroom and ignoring the disgusted looks of girls at the sinks -- she’d been gagging in that stall for at least  twenty minutes -- only to find that some other couple had sat down on the couch she’d planned to sleep on. There were a few chairs, all hard wood, and she sat down in one of them as she wrote a response, trying hard to control her tears. She was just overemotional from fever, that was all. She hugged her stomach, rocking back and forth as she typed.

>Lynn: actually that would be great if that's ok w you

>Reed: great! ill be at yr dorm in like 15min, where should I meet you?

Lynn’s stomach lurched, and she ran out of the lounge again, falling to her knees for the fourth time that day. Just like every other time, she retched wetly, gagging and spitting wads of cloudy bile into the toilet, unable to bring up anything significant.

She managed to type out the word bathroom in-between heaves, and it seemed like no time had passed at all before there was a sharp knock on the door, then the creak of hinges opening.

“Lynn? You in there?” 

She could only groan, but managed to unlock the stall door and stumble towards Reed, who grabbed her arm immediately, supporting her. “Woah, you’re not lookin’ so hot.”

The two of them were getting some very dirty looks from the other occupants of the bathroom, so Lynn tried to stumble towards the door, unable to get very far without leaning on Reed. “Not... Not feeling so hot either,” she said, pressing her free hand to her stomach.

“No shit, you’re burning up.” Reed pressed a hand to Lynn’s forehead, pulling it back in mock shock. “My car’s just in the parking lot, do you think you can walk there?”

Lynn hummed, trying not to open her mouth. Reed let her lean against them as she stumbled down the hall. She braced herself for the chill of the cold November air as they walked outside, but with Reed’s arm around her, she barely felt the cold.

“I’m just down the street,” Reed said, guiding her to what was apparently their car, “but I figured you wouldn’t wanna walk.”

Lynn swallowed back bile. “At this point, I don’t even... I don’t even care if you’re a serial killer, I just wanna lie down.”

“I think we can make that work.” 

Holy shit, Reed was strong as hell, Lynn mused feverishly, leaning nearly all her weight on them as they transitioned her into the car with one fluid motion. They even buckled her seat belt for her, making some soft noise when she moaned in pain as the strap touched her stomach.

“Are you sure you don’t wanna head to urgent care?” Reed asked. “They might be better than the student health center, and you’re really not looking good.”

Lynn shook her head, a dizzying motion that took more energy than she had. “Nah... I just wanna rest.”

“If you say so.” There was that worried note in their voice again, and Lynn leaned her head against the seat as the car lurched into motion, and so did her stomach. “I think there’s some trash bags in the glove compartment if you need ‘em. I’ll try to drive safe, but this thing? Is kind of a beater. You should see what it’s like on ice, though.”

Lynn made a small noise of acknowledgment, wincing as they bumped over mounds of slush. Saliva pooled under her tongue, and she swallowed hard. Not here, she thought. God, please not in front of Reed. Her throat burned with acid, and she gripped her stomach tightly, one hand covering her mouth. Just as her tongue lifted with a strong gag, a plastic bag was shoved into her lap. Gratefully, she buried her head in it.

“You’re okay, just get it up,” she heard Reed say, and then, “Oh, god,” as hot, foamy bile splashed into the bag, followed by a series of gurgling burps. “You’re really not feeling well, huh?”

She shook her head miserably, spitting into the bag and eventually wiping away a thick strand of mucus on the edge of the plastic before twisting it shut in disgust. “God. No. My stomach hurts so bad.”

“Do you need to get out for a sec? Being in the car probably can’t help.”

“Maybe.” Her throat still felt tight, and she tried to force a burp as she fumbled with the car door, only to end up barely scrambling to undo her seatbelt in time as she retched again and again, mucus falling in a steaming pile in the snow. Stomach finally empty for now, she belched emptily, a cloud of condensation forming as she did so.

Lynn vaguely became aware that someone was rubbing her back, and when she turned, Reed was holding her steady. “Ready to go?” they asked.

Lynn scrubbed at her watering eyes. “Yeah, she said weakly as they helped her back into the car. “God, this must be so gross for you.”

Reed shrugged as they put the key in the ignition. “Eh. I’ve got a strong stomach. Not really easily grossed out, you know? Besides, you're sick, so it’s not like it’s your fault. Someone’s gotta help you”

---

She managed to make it to Reed’s apartment without vomiting, though they did have to pull over several times so that she could take deep breaths out of the open window. Their apartment was several flights up, and they’d grimaced before slinging an arm around her shoulders, supporting most of her weight without even asking. Lynn didn’t even bother to protest -- they practically carried her up the stairs, but all she could care about was the fact that they were warm against her freezing skin.

“Okay!” Reed said, fumbling with the keys. “It’s not much, but at least I have a couch.”

Their apartment was small and cramped. The door opened onto a living room of sorts, with two faded couches forming a L-shape across from a TV. A slightly torn rug sat underneath a coffee table piled high with books and takeout boxes, and Reed rushed to clear it off, leaving Lynn standing by the front door, weaving back and forth.

There was a wall with an entryway seperating what Lynn assumed to the the kitchen area to her right, with another door closer to the entryway. On the left wall, close to where the couch sat, was a second door that was partially open. From the mess inside, she could guess it was Reed’s bedroom.

“C’mon in,” Reed said, gesturing to the couch. “Um, sit down, maybe? You look like you’re gonna die. Do you have any -- God, your roommate really kicked you out with nothing, huh? I was gonna ask if you wanted to change into, like, pajamas or anything, but you don’t even have a coat on.”

“Um,” Lynn said, still hovering awkwardly. “Yeah. She really didn’t want me to infect her.”

“Cool, cool. She’s an asshole.”

“Um --”

“No worries, I probably have something that’ll fit you.” Lynn very much doubted that, given that Reed had a good foot on her. “Do you need anything else? Like, food, we should probably make sure that you eat at some point? And I think that I might have some fever reducers somewhere around here --”

Lynn’s stomach cramped harshly. “Um,” she interrupted them, a note of urgency in her voice. “Do you have a bathroom I can use?”

“’Course! It’s that door--” Reed pointed to the closed door near the entrance Lynn had noticed earlier. “-- right there. Um, do you need help?”

Her guts churned again, and she managed a wan grimace. “I think I’ll be okay.”

Much to Lynn’s relief, their bathroom was almost shockingly clean. Her stomach still felt sore and achy after she’d finished expelling its contents from the other end; her nausea was fading for now, but the tightness in her throat and gnawing feeling in her stomach told her that she was far from done with this illness. She stumbled out of the bathroom, rubbing her aching stomach and nearly tripped over a pile of clothes on the floor.

“Those are for you,” Reed called from somewhere in the depths of the apartment. “Try ‘em on!”

Lynn retreated back into the bathroom, yanking her shirt off. The sweatpants Reed had provided just fit if the drawstring was pulled all the way, and their hoodie was a very loose fit, but the fuzzy inside felt wonderful against her sore stomach.

She sank down onto the larger of the two couches, which Reed had lined with sheets and stacked blankets on while she was gone. She pulled one up to her shoulders as Reed emerged from the kitchen area, carrying a mug of something steaming in one hand and a thermometer in the other.

“Hey,” they said. “Do me a favor and open wide, ‘kay? You’re not looking too hot, and I wanna know how worried I should be.”

“’s just the flu,” Lynn said weakly, but allowed Reed to slip the thermometer under her tongue. It beeped an agonizing minute later, and Reed winced at the number.

“102.3. That’s... not good,” they said. “I think that you should really rethink urgent care.”

Lynn groaned. “’M fine, really. Just need to rest.”

“Okay,” Reed said. “That’s fine, but I’m gonna need you to drink something first, okay? We’re gonna need you to keep some fluids down if you don’t wanna land in the emergency room.”

“‘Kay.” Lynn accepted a sip of the mug that Reed pressed into her hands. It was some kind of green tea, and it actually tasted... pretty good? “Thanks,” she whispered, her throat sore from fever and vomiting.

“No prob, dude,” Reed said, taking the mug from her hands. “Get some rest, okay?”

Lynn nodded, already drifting off into sleep.

---

She was vaguely aware of being woken on and off through the next few hours, Reed coaxing her to sip ice water or take her temperature before letting her slip back into feverish dreams. When she finally fought her way back to consciousness, the room was dark. The digital clock glowing on the coffee table read 8pm. She’d texted Reed to get her at... what was it, 2?

Groggy, head spinning, Lynn sat up. She felt awful, overheated and sweaty. She could just make out the shape of Reed’s body around the corner at the kitchen table, the glow of their phone illuminating the outline of their face. As if on instinct, they turned to face her.

“Hey,” they said, scooting their chair back. “You okay if I turn some lights on?”

Lynn nodded, then, remembering that it was dark as shit, said, “Yeah, that’s fine.” 

“Cool.” They turned on a lamp beside the couch, sitting at the end, near her feet. “How’re ya feeling? Your fever is still pretty high, d’ya think you could keep down some soup?”

Food? Ugh. Lynn made a face, but Reed pressed on. “C’mon, you need something in your stomach. Like, not just water, but actual nutrition, or you’ll just get sicker.”

Her stomach felt vaguely queasy, but Lynn shrugged. “I’ll try.”

“Great! I’ll warm some up for you.”

She dozed as the microwave ran and then beeped, and then Reed helped her sit up against the pillows with the bowl of soup in her lap. Her stomach gurgled as she ate, but seemed to accept the first swallow, so she did her best. She’d managed about three-quarters of the bowl when her stomach gurgled ominously, and she set it down. 

“I don’t think I can eat anymore.”

“Okay, no problem,” Reed said. “Mind if I take your temperature again?”

Lynn shrugged noncommittally, and they whipped out the thermometer. She was glad when it beeped -- the whole time she was sitting up she’d been shaking with chills, and she quickly buried herself back under the blankets, swallowing a queasy burp.

They didn’t read out the temperature this time, just sighed. “If I leave you with some water, will you drink it? The most important thing right now is to keep hydrated.”

“Um. Sure.” Reed pushed forward a glass of water, and Lynn smiled shakily, but didn’t drink it. “I just don’t wanna puke again, you know?”

“Yeah, I get it. You must feel awful,” Reed said, and Lynn laughed hoarsely.

“That’s an understatement.”

“I get it. But you gotta drink something. You’ll feel worse if you don’t.”

Lynn hesitantly picked up the glass -- it felt too heavy in her shaking hand -- and cautiously took a small sip, and then another. To distract herself from the uneasy feeling in her belly, she asked, “Can I ask a personal question?”

“That depends... how personal are we talking? ‘Cause if we’re gonna get in there with the questions, you gotta buy me dinner first.” Reed wiggled their eyebrows, and Lynn felt a warmth that had nothing to do with fever run down her spine.

“Um. Why are you doing this?”

“What, talking to you? ‘Cause I’m bored, and there’s nothing on TV. I mean, if you want me to shut up, I can?”

“No! Like, taking care of a sick stranger you’ve never met. Like, gross sick.”

“Eh.” Reed shoved their hands in their pockets, looking away. “It’s what I would’ve wanted someone to do for me.”

There might have been a story there, but Reed looked a little down, so Lynn decided not to press. “Well. In that case, thank you. It’s appreciated.” Her stomach gurgled again, going from uneasy to actively nauseous in half a second. “Shit -” she gasped, clapping a hand over her mouth and throwing off the blankets.

Reed jumped up, maybe to help her, but she was already unsteadily standing, the cold air a shock to her system after staying under the blankets for so long. “Hmmmk!” she gagged, saliva flooding her mouth as she wobbled towards the bathroom as fast as her weak body would let her.

She didn’t make it.

Lynn was just in the threshold of the bathroom when her stomach lurched, squeezing as she heaved again, and she lost it, vomiting into her palm and all over the floor. The sink was closer than the toilet, so she lurched over to it, barely making it over the counter before undigested soup came flooding up her throat, forming a foaming mess in the basin. She heaved again, drawing in a ragged breath before she felt a large, calming hand on her shoulder.

“I’m so sorry!” she sobbed, tears running down her face. “I didn’t mean to -- I didn’t know I was gonna be sick, and I tried to get to the bathroom, I really tried --” 

“Hey,” Reed said. “Hey. Lynn. Dude. It’s okay. That was kind of my fault anyways.”

“It’s not! I puked all over your floor, and in your sink --” The liquid was slowly draining now, but chunks of undigested noodles and chicken and vegetables were clogging the drain. God, what had she done? "I’ll clean it up, I promise!”

“You don’t have to worry about that, I got it,” they said softly. “Don’t make yourself more upset, you’ll get --” They sighed a little as she burped over the basin again, bringing up a torrent of chunky liquid. “--Sick.”

“Sorry,” Lynn managed when she was done dry-heaving. All that would come up was airy burps.

“Again,” Reed said, “I don’t know how many times I have to tell you it’s not your fault. I shouldn’t have forced you to eat or drink when you weren’t ready for it, and I definitely should’ve given you a trash can or something.” They shrugged. “Nothing that can’t be cleaned, so. Lesson learned.”

Reed guided Lynn over to sit on the closed toilet seat. “Sit here for me while I clean this up, okay? Just let me know if you start feeling bad again.”

Lynn took in a shaky breath. “Okay.”

Her stomach was cramping hard again, and she wrapped both arms around it, hunched over. Through a haze of fever, she watched as Reed, wearing a pair of dish gloves, scrubbed the sink and mopped the floor. Then, once the bathroom smelled of soap and disinfectant, they wet a washcloth with warm water and crouched down so they were eye level with her.

“Hey. I’m gonna clean you up a bit, okay?” Lynn nodded miserably, sweaty hair sticking to her face. She felt awful, shaking with chills and fever alternately, head swimming.

Reed gently wiped her face with the cloth, then her arms and hands. They re-folded it and rinsed it again, wringing it out and draping it against the back of her neck. She nearly gasped when it touched her skin. They’d used cool water this time, and it felt wonderful. 

“There we go,” they said. “I bet you’re probably wanting a toothbrush or some mouthwash.” 

God, she did feel gross. “Yeah,” Lynn croaked. “That’d be nice.”

“Cool, okay, good. Just stay here for a sec while I go grab some from the closet, okay?”

“Where else would I go?” Lynn’s eyes grew heavy. Sure, she had other places to go, but for now, she was glad to be right here.

#emetophilia #emeto #my fic

[solskens]

ALL remaining questions lol

1. Are you enjoying yourself?

whenever i can, yes. rn im sitting outside n drinking ice tea n hanging out with my plants, thats nice!

2. Do you miss how life used to be?

no, not really - my life was overwhelming, and i appreciate the pause. however, i dont think there should have to be a pandemic for that, and i am terribly sorry for everyone who has to deal with all the negative consequenses of this. but i dont miss life before so much

4. What drinks do you have in the fridge right now?

in MY fridge theres like only garlic n butter, but im not home rn, but idk what my gfs family have in their fridge, omly drink there thats mine is some lemon ice tea, which im quite frankly addicted to 😬☕️🍋

5. What snacks do you have in your house right now?

like candy, lemon muffins and lentil chips i think? yet again, at my gfs house, not mine. at mine theres a bunch of shit bc i have a food box with Long Expiry Dates foods n snacks

9. How long do you think you can last like this?

i dont know, a few months. i’ll miss my friends and family too much after a while

10. What is the last thing you've read?

like, this question, but other than that i read the news earlier, or like an union article

11. What show are you catching up on?

catfish!!

12. Are you a "stay in pajamas all day kind"of person?

NOPE, gotta put real clothes on or ill get sad 👖🥰🌈

14. What time did you wake up today?

like 7:30? or something like that? my neighbours alarm went of n they really can sleep through their alarms for 2+ hours n only snoozing sometimes.

15. Are you staying active?

yup, we go on daily walks!! and i run while my gf works out at the gym, so today we went to the gym together n i ran home from there, through some woods n stuff 🏃‍♀️🌳💪

16. Are you staying hydrated?

yeah ive always drank a lot of water

17. How long do you think this quarantine will last?

not long enough dude n then well gotta be quarantined again bc ppl will get sick again

18. If you had to study one subject everyday for the rest of this quarantine, what would you study?

probably architechture, since thats my major n like, what i gotta Study. i dont, though. quarantine be ruining my focus etc. or french bc i like french n wanna mov to france or french speaking canada for a while

19. How much weight do you suppose you'll put on by the time this quarantine is over?

hah fuck this question dude

20. What's your favorite board game?

one where its like spies n shit n u lie, i think its called spyfall n me n my friends play it from time to time

21. What's your favorite card game?

seven!! bc me n my friends played it all through high school

23. What's your favorite tv show?

bbc:s version of les miserables Oh Lord am i gay for miss lily collins there dear madam👀🥰🤪😍

24. What's your favorite snack?

bread💛

26. What's your favorite beverage?

tea, or peach ice tea, or white wine ☀️

27. What do you like most about the quarantine?

not having to go to classes n just being home

28. What are you finding most challenging about the quarantine?

not seeing my friends or family and also official things taking a longer time bc other ppl r home

29. Do you think COVID-19 is as bad as the media says it is?

uh sure?

31. What have you learned so far from this experience?

i hate being alone 😍😍😍

32. Are you introverted, omniverted, or extroverted?

omni, probably, but idk yall maybe extroverted or introverted i dont know dude

34. Who are you most worried about?

everyone forced into harmful situations whether its abusive family or going without income or being isolated and elderly. 🥺

35. Who was the last person you texted, called, facetimed?

texted: my best friend ev, called: my gf to come pick me up from the woods, facetimed: my twin bc i just wanted to say hi 🥰🥺

36. What three emojis best describe your attitude towards what's going on right now?

😔😬👀

37. If you had to live in one item of clothing for the rest of this quarantine what would it be?

my pink hoodie!! 💕

38. What was the last meal you cooked and how did it taste?

beef n oven potato with tzatziki, it was good!! very garlic-y✨

39. What's your favorite restaurant? Is it closed?

a chinese one back home at in my parents town n idk, hopefully it is but idk 😬

40. What is your favorite store? Is it closed?

ahahaha the grocery store n nooo its not ❣️

41. How many things have you purchased online since being in quarantine?

only medicine, so like 1 package of things!!

42. What was the last thing you purchased online?

pain meeeds which my pharmacy had run out of

43. What's getting you through these tough times?

my gf n therapy n being in nature

44. Are you keeping up with the news?

sometimes i read the paper, sometimes not! it can be a lot n i think its completely okay to stay sort of uninformed, as long as you are informed enough to keep yourself n others safe 💛

45. Are you stressed?

yup, always am maam 😔🙏🤪

46. Tell me something positive.

the weather has been rly nice where i am lately so my plants are doing great! n im sure we all will thrive soon, too, just not my tomato plants 🌿❤️🍅

47. Give me some advice.

break up with ur partner if you constantly feel anxious bc of them. its not supposed to be like that honey 🍯💛

48. What's your favorite quote?

”And we love, as they loved on Lesbos long ago”, its renée vivien translated by some girl

49. What's your favorite book?

black iris

50. Tell me an interesting fact.

the first person i befriended at uni was also a lesbian, n we started talking totally by chance 🌈🌿

#u ask n u shall recieve shsgfh