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#but i feel so guilty every time i see a message in my inbox and i just. can't respond
I Know Places.
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Synopsis - Jake always joked that he'd kill for you. One fateful day, he does just that.
Pairing - Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x Female Reader (Callsign - Ivy) - Bonnie&Clyde inspired au
Warnings - cursing. very near SA. mentions of abuse/assault. mentions of blood, gunshots and violence. mentions of suicide. please, do not read if any of these warnings will affect you.
Age Rating - 18+
Word Count - 3.1k
Author's Note - i'm not sure what happened, because this was really fluffy in my head. it ended up kind of dark, but i'm rolling with it. i like writing a different side of jake. just in time for halloween too. this was written for @laracrofted 1989TGM celebration!! <3
as always, reblogs, comments and feedback (even anonymous feedback) are immensely appreciated!! your reblogs are the only way to circulate my fics, which keeps me going <3
Masterlist. Inbox.
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You stand with your hand on my waistline
It's a scene, and we're out here in plain sight
I can hear them whisper as we pass by
It's a bad sign, bad sign
Jake's always had impeccable timing.
He'd tell you, later, that he sensed it. Just knew. Felt it in his gut, some sort of warning from the universe. He had to get to you.
The Admiral has you half bent over the desk in his office, fingers twisted into your underwear. He's trying to pull them down your legs when the door swings open.
You're paralysed, frozen with fear. The look on your face must tell Jake enough. He gets the message, understands your silent communication.
The Admiral stops. Backs away. As if putting distance between you will erase what he's been caught doing. Trying to do.
You expect Jake to yell, fight, throw The Admiral across the room by his collar. You expect blood, bruises, broken skin and bared teeth.
All you're met with is silence.
Jake strides across the room towards you. Fixes your clothes, smooths down your hair. Wipes the tears from your cheeks. He snakes a hand around your waist and guides you out of the door. Not a word said.
Something happens when everybody finds out
See the vultures circling, dark clouds
Love's a fragile little flame, it could burn out
It could burn out
"He'll ruin my career."
You're tucked into Jake's lap, legs slung over his hips as he holds you close. His rough fingertips run themselves up and down your spine, comforting and gentle. You inhale his musk, letting the familiarity fill your lungs.
"You didn't do anything wrong, baby."
"That won't matter."
The two of you are whispering, hushed voices bouncing off the furniture. You're alone together in Jake's living room. There's no one else around. You think he's scared he'll spook you. You're right.
"I worked so hard for this, Jake. I sacrificed everything to get into Top Gun."
"I know, baby."
"I can't lose it all."
He presses a tender kiss to your forehead, brushing your hair back from your eyes.
"What do you want to do? Report him?"
"Jake, you're not listening to me. He'll ruin my career."
"But he's the guilty one. Not you."
"Yeah, well. This is the way it works. Men can assault you and still play the victim."
You're frustrated, now. There's something bubbling, running through your veins. You can't put your finger on it. It feels like more than rage. Whatever it is, it's lethal.
You climb off Jake's lap and stand, pacing across the carpet.
"What am I supposed to do?" you murmur, tears threatening to spill.
Jake can't stand the wobble in your voice. It tightens something in his chest, pulls at his heartstrings. He was furious, before. He's just sad now.
"I'll do anything you ask," he tells you, standing up to cradle your face in his hands. "Anything in the world."
"I know."
And you do. That's what it's like, being with Jake. He loves so entirely, with his whole being. Every fibre of his heart belongs to you. It beats to the rhythm of your name.
"Just tell me what you wanna do, baby. I'm on your side. No matter what."
You lean up to kiss him, his lips soft and careful against yours.
"I'm not sure, yet. When I know, you'll know."
Jake sits back down on the couch, pulling you with him. You tuck yourself into his side, fitting there perfectly. He slings an arm around your waist and keeps you close, holding you a little tighter than usual.
Cause they got the cages, they got the boxes
And guns
They are the hunters, we are the foxes
And we run
"We should kill him."
You're strewn across Jake's chest, tangled in the sheets. Your limbs and hearts are intertwined, bodies drenched in sweat and lungs heaving.
"What?"
You sit up, pulling the comforter up and over your body slightly to combat the chill of the ocean breeze that's filtering through the open window.
"Let's kill him."
You look over to your boyfriend, waiting for the punchline. It never comes.
"Jake."
He turns to you, the most serious you've ever seen him. There's a look in his eye you've never seen before. It's dark. You're vaguely aware you should probably feel fear - but all you feel is anticipation.
"How many girls do you think he's done this to before you? How many will come after?"
You swallow, biting at your lips.
"He needs to be stopped, baby. You and I both know they won't fire him. He needs to be taken out of the equation altogether."
You realise, suddenly, that the thing you're worried about isn't the morality of the situation. It's the logistics. You don't want to get caught.
"Do you think we're smart enough to get away with murder?"
"Baby," he drawls, brushing his knuckles over your cheekbone. "We're a hell of a lot smarter than people give us credit for."
You know he's right. People underestimate both you and Jake. Everyone assumes he's nothing but a pretty face and toned muscles. That you're just his pilot girlfriend, seduced by his Southern charm and the fact that he's good in bed.
It seems like a challenge, now. You want to do this. You want to see if you can get away with it. You're already on the precipice of losing everything - why not go out with a bang?
"How would we do it?" you ask, leaning in closer to the blonde man next to you.
He thinks for a moment, running his fingers up and down your bare thighs.
"I say we make it look like a suicide. Shoot him in the head and frame it so it looks self inflicted."
You nod, processing.
"I think we should hold him at gunpoint first. Get him to write a confession, some sort of letter. That way, there's no confusion as to what happened."
"You're a genius," Jake grins, dipping down to kiss you.
He slips his tongue into your mouth effortlessly, sighing when he tastes himself from earlier. You straddle his waist and tangle your fingers into his hair, desperate to be close to him.
Both of you are high on adrenaline, buzzed on the anticipation of what's to come.
Baby, I know places we won't be found and
They'll be chasing their tails trying to track us down
'Cause I, I know places we can hide
I know places
I know places
Murder isn't as hard as you thought it'd be.
Careful planning. Airtight alibis. Reassurance and recon.
You and Jake have created the perfect crime.
The two of you show up to The Admiral's office on an evening you know he'll be working late. He's doing paperwork when you arrive.
You walk in first. Jake follows, and locks the door behind him.
The Admiral goes to speak, but you silence him with a handgun pointed at his chest.
"Speak, and you die."
He doesn't say another word.
Jake takes the gun from your hand and walks around the desk, pressing it into his superiors temple.
"We need a couple of things from you," he begins. "Just a favour or two."
The Admiral is sweating, pale and rigid. He looks scared. It sends a rush of adrenaline through you. You're enjoying this. Jake is too, judging by the beaming grin on his face.
"Grab a pen, and some paper. We're about to do some creative writing."
Jake orchestrates the letter. Gets him to write exactly what you need. Notes down the brutality, the arrogance, the abuse of power. He makes him recount every incident, not just yours. You're there for what feels like hours, as his shaky hands move the pen across the paper.
Finally, he finishes. Dots the I's and crosses the T's. Jake chuckles.
"Wonderful. And for the last part of this joyous evening were having together, my girlfriend is gonna shoot you."
The Admiral chokes on his breath. Looks to you with fear in his eyes. Finally, you think. He understands how it felt.
He goes to open his mouth, but you stop him.
"Don't beg. Don't plead. It's pathetic."
"We made up our mind weeks ago," Jake adds. "You're not going to deter us now."
You smile at your boyfriend, giddy over the way he's protecting you, saving you, loving you.
"I'm going to enjoy this," you whisper.
You take the gun from Jake and press it to The Admiral's temple. You know the silencer will muffle the noise - you really have thought of everything.
You click off the safety, and lean down so your mouth is next to his ear.
"This is for all of the women you hurt."
You pull the trigger.
He dies instantly.
Lights flash and we'll run for the fences
Let them say what they want, we won't hear it
Loose lips sink ships all the damn time
Not this time
In another life, you and Jake could have been actors.
You're all called into the briefing room the next day, gathered together in confusion.
Admiral Simpson stands in front of your class - pale as a sheet, dark circles bruised under his eyes.
"There's been a situation, and we want you to hear it from us," he begins. "I ask that you all keep this to yourselves, where possible. Don't talk to any media, don't gossip, don't spread rumours. Understood?"
When you all nod, he continues.
"The Admiral is dead."
The room goes silent. Jake's hand finds yours under the table. To anyone on the outside, it looks like a boyfriend supporting his girlfriend. To you, it's something different.
It feels like time stands still. The world stops turning, suspending you in the present moment. Eventually, Rooster speaks.
"What happened?"
Beau clears his throat, swiping his hand over his face.
"He took his own life."
There are whispers now, hushed and clipped. Everyone is in a state of shock and confusion. Everyone, except for you and the blonde man next to you. He squeezes your hand tightly, refusing to let go.
"Of course, there will be an investigation. But, it seems pretty obvious to us what happened. If anyone in this room has been effected by the actions of The Admiral that have come to light... please, speak to me, or any other of your superiors. Thank you. "
He exits the room, leaving all of you in palpable silence.
"What the fuck?" Payback mutters. "What did he mean, 'actions that have come to light?'"
"There's rumours," Phoenix begins. "He had a... soft spot, for young female pilots. People have been whispering about it for months."
Suddenly, all eyes are on you. You're the only other woman in the room besides Natasha, and she clearly wasn't involved.
"Did he ever... try anything with you, Ivy?"
"No," you're quick to answer. "No. Thank God."
The room breathes a collective sigh of relief.
If only they knew.
they take their shots, but we're bulletproof I know places
and you know for me, it's always you I know places
in the dead of night, your eyes so green I know places
and I know for you, it's always me I know places
A month later, you snap.
Jake comes home to find you frantically shoving clothes into a duffel bag, sweat dripping down your back.
"Baby," he tries, cautious, like he's approaching a spooked animal. "Baby."
You turn to face him with wild eyes, fear radiating off you.
"What's wrong, angel?"
You look at him incredulously.
"What's wrong? What's fucking wrong? We killed someone, Jake! That's what's wrong!"
"He wasn't a good guy."
"That doesn't matter. That doesn't make it right."
He cradles your face in his hands, eyes never leaving yours.
"Talk to me. What's going on? You've been okay. We've been okay. I thought we were processing, moving forward."
"I was. And then today, I just... can't. It was murder, Jake. Premeditated murder."
"Listen to me," he demands, tilting your chin up so your eyes are level. "He was an awful, awful man. The world is a better place without him. We saved so many women from a horrible fate, baby. We did a good thing."
You inhale carefully, and exhale a shaky breath, leaning up to press a kiss to his bitten lips.
"Yeah?" you ask, unsure. "We did save people, didn't we?"
"We wouldn't have done it without just reason, baby. We're good people, you and I. We both know we are."
You nod, looking for any signs of insecurity in his eyes. You don't find a single speck.
"You're right. Fuck, you're right. Sorry if I scared you, Jake."
"You scared me because I thought you were leaving me," he chuckles. "Wondered what I did wrong."
"Nothing," you're quick to reassure, tangling tracing your fingertips over the features of his face in a featherlight touch. "My God, Jake. I've never loved anyone as much as I love you. You're it for me. You're my forever."
Jake leans down, pressing his lips to yours firmly and surely. It's as if he's telling you everything he feels without using any words. He pulls you into him, winding his arms around your back and tugging you closer.
"I've got you, baby. No matter what happens. It's me and you, always. I love you."
"I love you too, Seresin. Always."
They are the hunters, we are the foxes
And we run
Just grab my hand and don't ever drop it
My love
"Let's run away."
You're taking off your shoes by the door when Jake comes bounding down the stairs, buzzing with energy.
"Hmm?"
"Let's run away, baby. You and me. The open road. We can go anywhere we want."
"Jake," you laugh. "Are you drunk? What's happening?"
"Not drunk. My head's clearer than it has ever been. I've been thinking, while you were gone."
"Thinking about...?" you ask, wrapping your arms around his neck and leaning up to kiss his rosy lips.
"Getting out of here. This place is full of bad memories and old ghosts. We can start afresh somewhere new."
"Like where?"
"Anywhere. Literally anywhere. We don't even have to stay in America. We could go to Europe, Australia, Canada? The possibilities are actually endless."
"What's triggered this?" you murmur. "You okay?"
"I'm always okay when I'm with you," he smiles. "But.... I can just feel it, you know? I can feel everything piling up. There's a weight on my shoulders, and on yours too. We can let that go. I know we can."
"You're right, about the weight. I haven't relaxed in months."
Jake slides his hands under your shirt, tracing his fingers up and down the bare skin of your back.
"I know," he murmurs against your lips. "I think there's something better out there for us."
"Where would we go? Like, serious talk, what are our options?"
"I know places," he winks.
"What places, Jake?" you try to chide, but you're smiling.
"We can go to my mom's, first, in Texas. Just to touch base. From there, I mean it when I say literally anywhere, baby. Wherever you wanna go, we can go. You've always wanted to go to Italy, right? We could go there. Or I have a high school friend in Perth - we could go there."
"I wanna go somewhere with good food. Kind people. Beautiful views. A little sunshine wouldn't hurt either."
He's grinning at you, white and blinding. His excitement is contagious, settling into your bones.
"Imagine it, baby. Me and you, on the beach all day. We could surf, swim, go grab some lunch, then surf and swim some more. Go home, make dinner, sit out in the yard and listen to the ocean waves. Do it all again the next day."
You can't wipe the smile off your face, practically bouncing on the soles of your feet.
"Okay."
Jake stops in his tracks, still and rigid.
"Really?"
"Really. We can go right now, Jake. I don't wanna be here any longer."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. Fuck, I love you. Let's pack our shit and go, baby."
Jake kisses you with fervour, dipping you backwards like you're in a movie. You squeal, gripping the nape of his neck for balance. He picks you up and spins you around, twirling you like a fairytale.
"What about everyone here?" you ask, forehead pressed to Jake's.
"We'll miss them, and they'll miss us, but we'll all be okay."
He's right. These people are your family, but they'll understand. You have to do what's best for you.
"Do you really wanna go as soon as we can?"
"Yeah, Jake. I meant it. We can start packing right now."
He wraps his arms around your middle and carries you upstairs, throwing the closet doors open while you grab your suitcase.
Baby, I know places we won't be found and
They'll be chasing their tails trying to track us down
'Cause I, I know places we can hide
I know places
The sun beats down on your skin, warming you up from the outside in. There's a breeze whipping through your hair, carrying salt from the ocean into the car. The sunroof is down, allowing you to breathe in the fresh air.
Jake's hand slides across the centre console and onto your thigh, thumb rubbing circles into your bare skin.
"You okay?"
He's looking over at you, taking his eyes off the road for a split second.
"I'm good, baby."
He smiles, the grin reaching every feature of his face, lighting him up.
You've been on the road for months, stopping and starting however and whenever you please. A motel here, a beach apartment there. You've lost count of how many states you've travelled through, collecting postcards in each one.
You'll settle down, eventually. You've been making a list of your favourite places you've visited, ranking them as you go. You'll most likely buy a place in your top choice. But not yet.
For now, you're content with the open road. The convertible car, all your belongings in a suitcase in the trunk, roof down at every opportunity. You like not staying in one place for too long. It weirdly suits you.
Jake's never looked happier. He glows, smile lines creasing the corner of his eyes. He laughs so often, and you never get tired of the sound.
You glance down to the golden band on your left hand, smiling softly.
"What are you thinking about?" your husband asks, squeezing your thigh.
"Vegas," you beam. "Never did I think I'd be married by an Elvis impersonator in a bright blue chapel."
"I'm the epitome of class, baby. You know this."
Both of you are grinning, chuckling gently.
"We did the right thing. Leaving."
"Yeah, we did. I'm glad I believed what you said."
"What did I say?"
"That you knew places."
He traces a love heart on your skin with his thumb, over and over again.
"Told you, baby. I know places."
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478 notes · View notes
fixing-bad-posts · 6 months
Note
I looked around and didn't see anything about this on your blog but I apologize if I missed it.
I was wondering, what does doing the work behind this blog...feel like? I guess what I'm asking is if it does anything to you. Like, I had a thought. For a flash, I imagined you as Butters from South Park in that episode where he is tasked with filtering out all the negative comments on Cartman's social media. It ended up really messing with Butters, what with him having to see all that negativity.
You're definitely not being affected to that extreme, I assume, but I wonder if you would have anything to say about the process of finding these negative posts and reading them several times to edit them. Has it exposed you to unpleasantness that you wouldn't have otherwise seen? Or is there perhaps a kind of catharsis in editing such filth?
I'm making a lot of assumptions here. Maybe I'm also asking about your process. I just think what you're doing is neat and would love to hear about your experience with it.
Thanks for reading and I hope you have plenty of reasons to feel joy <3
oh boy, i love talking about myself haha—so thank you for giving me an excuse to do so! i have answered similar questions in the past, though never at length. every once in a while, someone pops into the inbox to ask about my mental health (which, rest assured, is just fine—i don’t put this blog’s operation above anything; it’s honestly pretty low on my list of life-priorities), and it’s always quite sweet. having a mob of strangers following one’s sideblog has its perks: one being that sometimes parasociality results in some well wishes, kind thoughts, and general goodwill. which is very nice, and probably an unearned vanity-boost for my ego.
what does the work behind this blog feel like? in turns: mundane, challenging, vindicating, annoying, amusing… and probably other things that i’m forgetting. most of the work i do on this blog is actually me procrastinating! i am a certified adult with a job™, and i’m definitely guilty of slacking off at work sometimes to queue posts submissions from my inbox, which is more fun than like… proofreading financial documents and making spreadsheets. other times, i’m sitting in a café with my partner, and allegedly i’m “writing” fanfiction. but, uh, if you know any writers, you know that sometimes “writing” means, ‘looking at a blinking cursor’. so it’s in those moments that i open up tumblr and start writing image descriptions and adding tags to prep posts for my queue. that’s mainly when the blog feels mundane.
something that i think helps me avoid negative doomscroll-spirals is that i don’t actively seek out bad posts for this blog. being a citizen of the internet delivers fodder to me naturally. that, and running a semi-popular sideblog on tumblr. when i see a bad post in the wild, that’s when the feeling is annoying/challenging. challenging, because ever since starting this sideblog, hateful posts don’t feel as vicious to me. once i see them, they stop being posts and turn into word-puzzles. and i love word puzzles!
solving the word puzzle is amusing for me, as is getting to look at my resulting “blackout poem.” it makes me laugh, it stretches my brain. when i started, i used to have to read a post several times to find the ‘good post within the bad post’ so to speak. these days, i’m so used to it, i barely read the bad posts more than a handful of times. but as i was saying to my partner, one of the reasons i love found poetry (erasure poetry, and cut-up poetry) is that it uses the same part of my brain that loves scrabble (the board game). then, of course, it's vindicating to see my posts get so many notes, sometimes surpassing the original bad post. that's more of my own vanity, i'm sure.
as for the last part of your message: yes, i have plenty of reasons to feel joy. i work with people who respect me, i live walking distance from a bubble tea café, and have friends and family whom i love. i have the good fortune to be safely out as a queer person. i’m a fanbinder. i’m currently working on a long fanfiction which is getting some very nice comments on ao3. and i’ve recently decided to become a poet (like, for real).
i must admit, i’m fascinated by how you imagine me. i often wonder how i am perceived, especially because i keep many cards close to my chest here on my sideblog.
anyhow, thank you for this excuse to ramble about myself and the process of running this blog. i hope you also have plenty of reasons to feel joy 💛
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svltzmans · 7 months
Text
message in a bottle - h.m.
a/n: hello hello!! i'm currently working on all the requests in my inbox and this one is so cute!! i love writing cute little fluffy romantic stories <3 i hope y'all like them!!
warnings: none :)
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hope's yearly trip to new orleans to visit her family was always something she looked forward to. as much as she loved living in mystic falls and being surrounded by close friends, she always yearned for the part of her that was missing.
however, there had been some major changes in her life since the last time she visited new orleans.
she had fallen deeply for someone that it would be difficult to leave, even for a little while.
y/n was absolutely thrilled that her girlfriend got to visit her family. she knows how close they are and how little they got to see each other in person.
however, she knows it won't be easy to go without seeing hope for a full week. to say the couple is attached at the hip would be an understatement.
y/n's first day without hope was full of distraction. she did every activity she could, desperately trying to avoid feeling hope's absence.
hope's drive to new orleans was uneventful, except for her attempts to zone out and pretend y/n was in the passenger seat.
when hope finally arrives and greets her family, she immediately feels empty without y/n's presence. she brushes it off, trying to reconnect with her parents and aunts.
while in the middle of a conversation with klaus, a text pops up on hope's phone.
hey, love. i miss you. how is it in new orleans?
hope smiles as soon as she realizes the text is from y/n.
"what's the smile for, darling?" klaus questions, seeing that hope is profusely blushing as she types a response.
"just a funny text from a friend," she responds, trying to control her excitement about hearing from y/n.
hope hadn't told her family that her and y/n were dating. it wasn't that she didn't want to, but she just didn't feel ready. she didn't want her visit to only be focused on her love life, especially because her dating a girl might be a surprise.
klaus dismisses the subject, but hope can tell he's suspicious. she silently curses her tendency to blush.
so far so good. miss you more. can i call you later? wanna hear your voice.
hope finally sends her response to y/n, unable to hold back another smile.
rebekah had prepared an extravagant meal for hope's arrival, and hope thought it was entirely overkill.
nonetheless, she was grateful, and she sat at the table surrounded by klaus, hayley, freya, rebekah, marcel, kol, and elijah.
the group effortlessly falls into conversation as if they had never been apart, sharing laughs and stories.
hope debates telling them about y/n, but stops herself, wanting to properly introduce them to her when the time comes.
when hope finishes her plate, she's quick to excuse herself to her room. she insists that she's tired from the travel, although her overly happy demeanor suggests otherwise.
as soon as she closes the door behind her, she dials y/n's number.
"hey, darling," y/n's voice sounds velvety through the receiver, and hope can't help but to kick her feet a bit in her bed.
"hi, beautiful. how was your day?"
"it was okay. it would have been so much better with you. how's your family?"
"loud, but good so far," hope laughs, hearing y/n's giggle from the other end of the line.
"i can't believe it hasn't even been a whole day yet. i miss you like crazy."
"you're just obsessed with me, aren't you?" hope teases, giggling at y/n's affection.
"guilty as charged."
as the group continues to talk in the kitchen down the hall, they can't help but to tune into hope's conversation.
they blame their enhanced sense of hearing, but their interests are all piqued by the romantic nature of hope and y/n's conversation.
"that sounds a bit more than friendly," freya breaks the silence, smirking knowingly.
"you would know, wouldn't you?" rebekah teases, and the table erupts in laughter.
"should we say something?" marcel questions, almost feeling guilty for continuing to listen.
"she'll tell us on her own time, right?" hayley adds, trying to relieve marcel's guilt.
like clockwork, hope walks down the hall, having just ended her call with y/n.
"guys, can i tell you something?"
the group all nods in unison, already sure they know what hope is going to say.
"i have a girlfriend."
"it seems you've forgotten we all have vampire hearing, love," klaus responds, earning a dirty look from hayley. "what! it's true!"
hope turns a deep shade of red, realizing that her entire family had heard her flirt with her girlfriend over the phone.
after a few seconds of silence, the entire mikaelson family burts into laughter, as if they were all aware of the awkwardness of the situation.
"love you, hope," elijah smiles, giving hope an encouraging pat on her back.
"love you too."
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6lostgirl6 · 11 months
Note
I saw your requests were open and I IMMEDIATELY ran for the inbox. I love your work, friend! Anyway, I liked the poly Bill and Ted with an SO post you did, but I'd love to take it one step further and request OLDER Bill and Ted (like in Face the Music). Maybe how they'd be with an SO who's a huge fan of their music. Just an adoring fangirl who worships the ground they walk on and makes them feel young again 🥰
Thank you! 💜
Older!Bill and Ted With a Fan S/O
Pairing: Older!Bill and Ted x Fem!Reader
TW: Fluff, cursing, NSFT content, Age Gap [Reader is 25+], Mentions of dp, breeding kink, public sex, creampie, cockwarming
A/N: I had a lot of fun writing this request and I hope you enjoyed it! I honestly feel like I didn't do my best for this, I apologize!😭❤️
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SFW:
The saviors of existence itself were holding a concert every few months, and they were finally playing in your area for the very first time. At a lower price, you quickly took advantage of the opportunity to purchase backstage passes to meet with them. 
Bill and Ted preferred having their meet and greets before the concerts, since they would usually be tired and wanting to go back to the bus and rest after another intense night. Sadly, they weren’t young anymore.
When you arrived and stood in line, your body couldn't stop shaking from both adrenaline and nervousness.
Despite how much Bill and Ted loved their fanbase, many of their meet and greets consisted of fangirls sexualizing them to their faces which left them not looking forward to them at times.
However, when it was your turn, you were like a breath of fresh air.
You were incredibly kind, asked appropriate questions, and seemed genuine about learning more about them and their albums that literally changed the world.
Bonus: You were a gorgeous babe.
However, they felt a little guilty because you were much younger than them, 15 years between you and them. But, they couldn't help their attraction to you.
They actually moved you from your original seat to the front row where you would be closer to them. They just couldn't understand the pull and wanting to have where where they could see you from the stage with a huge smile on your face.
After the concert, they gave you their number, wanting to keep in contact with you.
You've been calling, facetiming, and messaging them for a long while, a few months before Bill and Ted confronted each other about their feelings for you. They agreed they were more than happy to have you be with both of them.
Soon, the three of you were in a relationship and eventually went public.
Sure, there was a little backlash, but you're relationship was heavily supported by the fanbase.
Ted is the more affectionate partner in the relationship and he didn't mind public displays of affection. Bill is a little more reserved but behind closed doors is another story.
As their girlfriend, you now have backstage access for free!
If you were really into music, they will teach you how to play their guitars.
For your birthday, they would get you your very own custom guitar! Happy birthday babe!
Important dates can be forgotten at times, but it's not out of malicious intent. Ted forgets to write shit down on the calender when Bill tells him to.
They give you all matching bracelets to wear, it shows everyone that you belonged to each other.
NSFW
It is ritual that Bill and Ted fuck the shit out of you after their concerts, when their blood is pumping and adrenaline in their system.
Ted would be a soft dom and would always prioritize your pleasure before his own. He'll make you cum three times before he even sticks his dick in you.
Bill would have a daddy kink, being your provider and taking care of you in bed while you call him Daddy makes the blood run south.
Bill loves lingerie on you, his favorite colors on you are pastels
Ted prefers you in bold colors, it honestly distracts him.
Please film yourself in lingerie and tease them, they love it so much.
Ted is into filming you all fucking, it turns him on to re-watch the footage when Bill and him are away on tour and you couldn't come for some reason.
Get used to getting double penetrated or eiffel towered, the boys are not against fucking you at the same time.
Ted has a bit of a breeding kink. With his bad relationship with his father, he wants to be able to be a better father than him and provide for you.
He often thinks about having little ones that are a mixture between the two of you.
Therefore, he's going to cum inside you everytime. He'll even leave his dick inside so nothing spills out.
Bill is into exhibition, he loves the risk of teasing or fucking you in public.
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Spam Liking W/O Reblogging = Blocked
Taglist: Comment to be added!!
@prettywhenibleed @leiasolo77 @britany1997
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chaos0pikachu · 5 months
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i'm sorry for jumping into your inbox like this but what bothers me about people going "the show is making a point about how society treats sluts!" when talking about only friends, and boston in particular, is that this point is made (a lot of the time, from what I've seen) in this weird condescending tone, as if the people questioning the narrative and going "hey, what the fuck" are just too stupid to get it, yk
(also, sidenote: if the show was trying to make a point, do a commentary, a critique if you will about how society (even queer society) slut shames and treats nonmonogamy, it failed imo, lmao)
Don't be sorry! I've basically been bothering my penpal about this all day lmao they don't even watch the show but they're feeling my rage today so bother away you're very literally doing them a favor
Personally, and this is me being openly a bitch, I think some folks are just looking for excuses to justify that they're fine with the finale (b/c ppl don't wanna feel guilty about liking something problematic~) or that Jojo isn't a bad writer actually. Which, bro who cares, if you enjoyed the ending dope, I didn't.
I've said this before, but other media has made commentary regarding sex, and slut shaming in ways that hits harder and better. Without doing the office looking into the camera action. I hate when ppl say that we're not fucking stupid like my god I work in a creative industry I understand both how narrative works and how it's literally made. I've SEEN the sausage I've been to the factory front row.
But even without that experience ppl aren't dumb, they can tell when they're being sold something disingenuous. Those takes that "well you just don't see~~ the vision" or "the show doesn't have a message, actually" when Yo was literally monologuing the message for 5mins at the end of the show is hella disingenuous. People also seem to forget that inherent and implicit bias are a thing in all of us, yes even the creators you like.
Also you can't have both, either the show was purposely making commentary regarding how society treats promiscuous people, people who are poly or want open relationships and critiquing that OR the show didn't have a message at all and was totally egalitarian.
If it's the former it failed drastically, I wrote weeks ago that the show was slut shaming Boston, I had a whole draft about how the hypocrisy of the characters wasn't intentional (but it'll stay in the drafts now I don't feel like cleaning it up lol), Boston ended up punished every step of the narrative repeatedly - with Mew blackmailing him, with Gap non-con recording him, with Atom, with Cheum, with the whole friend group, and in the end even Nick left him - with no recourse. With no opposing viewpoint. Nick was the only char who showed Boston a shred of empathy - and even then, he still showed Atom more empathy than he deserved - and in the end that was used up too.
If it's the latter the show still failed b/c the show absolutely had a ton of bias - I've had multiple ppl point out to me that the darker skinned chars are all predators or slutty whores in the show - and dropped storylines that should have been expanded on - Gap has folders upon folders of sex tapes???? Does Boston's privacy not matter?? - that were dropped in favor of further punishing Boston. And when things were supposed to be seen as "bad" the narrative made them clear.
Mew partying was bad, Ray drinking was bad, Boston sleeping around, welp you guessed it.
but yeah, how exhausting tbh all I want post-series is a bunch of Boston fanfic that gives him justice or even some fucking nuance (oh and that playboyy the series is actually good lol)
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sanjisboyfie · 3 days
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updatesss
hey guys, i feeeeel like i had to make a post to explain my update schedule to you guys because i have been super duper dead and i have some asks in my inbox about whether im alive or not (not exactly worded like that but alo\ng the lines obvs) LMAO
so i am alive (obviously) but im super super busy with school and work. i go to school 4/5 days of the week and work almost everyday until 10pm too. i amvery busy right now. i'm gonna be honest, when i can start consistently writing and updating to you guys (opposite of me dropping in here every 3 months, posting once and disappearing) will be in the summer probably. i get off of school in mid may, so hopefully when that time comes i can become more consistent.
im sorry for making yuou guys wait for such a long time + the time i do come back it's not even an update, instead it's just a dislaimer post. ik that disappointing feeling.
also going into my inbox and seeing multiple messages constantly asking for updates makes me feel guilty bc ik at this moment i cannot deliver anything to you guys and ig also just pressured in general and not in a good way, so please refrain from doing that guys </3 i do want to update i just literally can not because i have to commit to school, work, and other things BEFORE this account (unfortunate but it is the reality of life lmao)
i have not lost any motivation for writing, either. even though it may seem like it. i just need to wait until my time becomes more free aka when im out of school
if youve read all the way ty and i hope i can come back sooner rather than later.
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sexynetra · 2 months
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Hi! LATAM queer here that doesn't have English as a first language writing this just so you understand the importance of your work:
I haven't been active in tumblr for like almost half a year now, but I literally just logged in today to see if you had post any RAWNSYF update/new dialogue that I might have missed. I had no ideia what was going on on twitter when I logged in today. And I'm so sorry that you got exposed like that. If it is any consolation, RAWNSYF is one of my favorite fics ever written. Def my fav anarcia fic. To me, fanfic in queer spaces is a way I can read about the queer experience and relate to my own life. That is what I love about RAWNSYF, I have a past love experience that is really similar to what Anetra is going through in your fic. By reading it, I can help my 18 year old self heal. I'm not sending you this to necessarily encourage you to post a new chapter. After all that happened yesterday, I'll totally understand if you never update. I'm telling you all this so you know that your work matter. Your fic might be one of the few media work that I've ever felt so represented. Fanfic is important to queer people like us because of this: we don't have much representation in the wide media. So we turn to our own community to see ourselves being represented in this kind of spaces. Because of this, I ask you with all the kindness that I have inside of me: if you don't want to post an update, I'll totally get it! But please, PLEASE, don't ever feel guilty for what you've already wrote and posted. It means more to people that never saw themselves in media that anyone who's not queer could ever understand.
Hi there <33
This has just been sitting in my inbox because every time I went to respond I started crying again 😅
This is the sweetest message I have ever received and I cannot even possibly express just how much it meant to me to read this.
I started rawnsyf out of a desire to see the stories I wanted to read about being shared. (Well, technically I started rawnsyf as a 2am writing practice that was never supposed to be expanded upon but here we are) I honestly never thought anyone else would actually read it 😂 it was just a little story that had all my favorite story tropes in it. That was it.
But then rawnsyf grew. It grew in the scope of what I was writing about, and it grew in its reach. Suddenly, people were reading it, and it was connecting with them on a level I never anticipated.
Rawnsyf started as a fanfic about two queens I enjoyed, but I hand on my heart believe that it has grown to be so much more than that. This story, that was originally just a fun little writing exercise and a cute little love story, has become something that people really feel a connection to, and feel represented by.
I honestly never expected that, it’s beyond my wildest dreams. I think anyone who creates content hopes that it will resonate with people, but I never expected the scope it would have (which sounds braggadocious but I never expected the story to really become important to anybody besides me, and over and over again the amazing community on here has proven me wrong).
It started as a story about two queens I love, but it has grown beyond that. The characters in the story have lives of their own. They exist beyond the drag queens that inspired them. And this message, maybe more than any other, reminds me just how powerful those characters can be.
I am so infinitely grateful that you took the time to send this message, and even more infinitely honored and touched that you have allowed me to express myself through my writing and taken it onto yourself. Nothing will ever mean more to me than people being able to feel seen and find healing through something I’ve created.
Rawnsyf is not over, and it’s all because of the love people like you have shared with me for this story.
I hope I can do you justice with this story and my heart is so full <3333
I am crying again so I will end this here but my heart just feels so full. Thank you for sending this to me and being so honest and vulnerable. It means more to me than you could ever know
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ventique18 · 8 months
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Btw to everyone using my comics and headcanons as fuel/inspo to create fanworks, I'm very happy! 😊 Sorry if you don't see me liking or commenting yet; I'll try to read your stuff on weekends. Seriously, I'm very, very happy my little works spark creativity in people! Don't hesitate to create stuff based on my works, and I'd be really glad if you tag me so I could see when I can. 🥰
And for the people in my inbox... I'm really, really sorry. I'm not snubbing you or anything; I just hardly find time to sit down and think up responses. Each and every message is deeply appreciated, and y'all make my day always. The people I do respond to, though, are those who just happened to send in the ask while I'm online. You don't know how guilty I feel when my inbox count keeps piling up when I get them while offline. 🥲
Again, thank you so very much! There's no greater joy for a fanartist/fanwriter than when there's an audience to look at their brainrot! 💖💘💗💘💞💖💕💖💘💓💘💖💞💕💖💘💖💕💕💕
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angelasscribbles · 1 year
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About that Tumblr Bullying
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I know I said I was going to do a whole call out post about the bullying that happened to me. Complete with receipts. But a funny thing happened after I posted my little preview post yesterday. My DM’s blew the fuck up with people reaching out to me with, support yes but also, and unfortunately, their own stories of having been bullied. Like a lot of people.
That got me thinking, what happened to me is a drop in the bucket. This problem is much more prevalent than I ever would have thought and that is so disappointing and unfortunate. This is supposed to be fun. Grown adults are not supposed to act this way.
A hate post was made about me, and I was, in fact, clueless to its existence until my little anon friend gave me the heads up. A move that seemed desperate for my attention. I have decided not to give it to them. I have decided that they don’t get any more of my time, attention or energy.
I want to focus, instead, on those being bullied. Because this issue is way larger than just me. I can handle it. I have been through some shit in my life and come through it with flying colors. A little Tumblr hate isn’t about to break me. But I know not everyone has the same level of resilience, not everyone is in a good place, not everyone has a good support system filled with loving, supportive people. I know there are people out there struggling with depression, anxiety, grief, stress, and worse. I know there are people for whom toxic internet bullying could cause a major mental health crisis, or set off a depressive episode or hell, even just seriously mess with their self esteem. My inbox is full of stories of writers doubting themselves, their writing, their worth as a human being because of the atrocious things said to them (way worse than what was said about me).
I  want to do a couple of things here. The first is simply to let each and every one of you know that you are worthy. I know my platform isn’t that large, I’m no one special, but to those this does reach, I want to tell you that you do matter! You are worthwhile!
Secondly, I’d like to remind you that you own no one anything, not your time, not your attention, not a response to their messages, not an acknowledgement of their complaints (real or imagined). Literally, nothing.
My advice?
Surround yourself with positive people. Block the negative ones. You lose nothing by cutting toxic people out. Out of your Tumblr feed, out of your Facebook feed or even out of your real life. Sometimes, blocking and moving on with your life is self-care. There are people who thrive on drama and negativity. They can’t live without it, they feed on it. Don’t feed them. Cut off their access to you. Save your energy for those that make you smile, those that see the beauty in you (even when you don’t see it yourself).
When you have the energy/spoons for it, pay it forward every chance you get. Give compliments, prop up other people. You never know when that compliment might be the thing that turns an otherwise dull day into a bright one. And bonus, you’ll feel good about it too! I believe that what we put out in the universe comes back to us. So, send positivity out there every chance you get.
Engage in aggressive self-care. Block out time for yourself. Do the things that you enjoy, eat the foods that you love, allow yourself time to watch that TV show that makes you happy, even if the laundry isn’t done. Take a hot bath, go for a long walk (if you’re able), draw, write, paint, do whatever it is that feeds your soul. And don’t apologize for it, or feel guilty for doing it. Your happiness counts. You count!
If you are struggling, please reach out to someone, talk, tell someone. Don’t keep it all inside, let it out. I know that can be hard sometimes, but it’s crucial for healing. And let’s face it, most of us have unresolved trauma of some sort or another.
The last thing I want to do here is give a little practical advice. I want to offer some tips for how to lock down your account to better protect yourself against being blindsided by anon hate. Here they are:
This is the most obvious one. Turn off anonymous asks. To do this, go to “Account” (little gear icon in upper right hand corner on mobile) and scroll down to “Allow anonymous asks” and toggle it off. <- I did this, because I had witnessed others getting anon hate. I thought it was enough. It wasn’t. Someone determined to stalk, bully and harass you will find another way. So keep reading.
Take away the ability for an anonymous, fake, blog to message you. Yes, you can make it so that only blogs you follow can DM you. To do this, go to “Account” and click on “Account settings” then click on “Messaging”, here you can choose who can message you, pick “only Tumblrs you follow can message”. <- Wish I had known that sooner. Never occurred to me that someone would make an entire fake blog just to send me hate.
Next, if you want, you can limit who may comment on your posts. Go to “Account” then to “Account settings” and click on “Replies” choose “only Tumblrs you follow can reply” <- This is tricky for me, because the whole point of Tumblr is interacting with new people/content. But if you are being stalked, harassed and/or bullied, I would recommend taking this extra step.
This is just a privacy issue, but if you don’t want others to know when you’re active, go to “Account” then “Account Settings” and click on “Privacy”. You can toggle to turn off “Let others see that you’re active”<- Not really going to keep anyone from bullying you, but if you have anxiety about people being mad if you don’t respond when they can see that you are active, then it’s a good thing to deactivate.
If you’ve taken the above steps, then you are safe from anon hate in your asks, your inbox and the comment sections of your posts. <- someone can still create a fake blog and make a nasty comment in a reblog of your post, but at least they have to show their nastiness publicly.   
If anyone has more tips that I’ve missed, please respond with a comment or reblog and let us all know!
I’m going to leave you with this little gem. No Time for Toxic People by Imagine Dragons. Lyrics are under the cut.
Lyrics:
The way they look at me, I know exactly What they talk about when I'm not around Got no time for that, as a matter of fact Every day's my birthday, oh, I hope you heard me
Take a look outside, it's a beautiful day, yeah Yeah, it's a beautiful day, yeah I'm gonna keep it that way, that way, ayy Take a real good look, it's a beautiful day, yeah Yeah, it's a beautiful day, yeah I'm gonna keep it that way, that way, ayy
So spend your hours on what you think I've done wrong I know I'm in your mind, I've been here way too long I want to spend my life with those who's done me right Your heart is frozen over, I'm a four-leaf clover
Take a look outside, it's a beautiful day, yeah Yeah, it's a beautiful day, yeah I'm gonna keep it that way, that way, ayy Take a real good look, it's a beautiful day, yeah Yeah, it's a beautiful day, yeah I'm gonna keep it that way, that way, ayy
Do-do, do-do-do, no time for toxic people Do-do, do-do-do, no time for that, I Do-do, do-do-do, no time for toxic people I, I've got no time for toxic people
Move along, move along, move along, go Let me go to the clouds below 'Cause they're callin' me up to higher ground What a teacup sound, even mighty drown, oh
Take a look outside, it's a beautiful day, yeah Yeah, it's a beautiful day, yeah I'm gonna keep it that way, that way, ayy Take a real good look, it's a beautiful day, yeah Yeah, it's a beautiful day, yeah I'm gonna keep it that way, that way, ayy
Do-do, do-do-do, no time for toxic people Do-do, do-do-do, no time for that, I Do-do, do-do-do, no time for toxic people I, I've got no time for toxic people
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eternally-smitten · 8 months
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One New Voice Message
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summary: After missing a call from Jimmy, Natalie finds a surprising voice mail in her inbox.
word count: ~1.3k
author's note: ...so, I fell in love with another man with odd, questionable morals and a cute smile. I can't help myself. I have a type and Saul Goodman/Jimmy McGill fits that type perfectly. Also this is a little rushed I'm sorry I'm super tired but needed to write this.
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Jimmy stared at the pile of paperwork in front of him as if he hoped that if he looked at it long enough, it would finish itself for him. The opposite happened, actually. He felt like the more he looked at it, the bigger the pile got and the more overwhelmed he became with that fact. He exhaled slowly, squishing his cheeks with his hands. It was a lot. Almost too much. He knew that the load would lighten if he just tackled it head on and got it over with. Instead, he reached over the unorganized pile to grab his cellphone. He flipped it open and searched through his contacts until he found a certain someone. He dialed her, pressed his phone to her ear, and drummed his fingers on his knee as he listened to it ring.
“Come on, come on,” He muttered, almost desperate to hear her voice. He wanted and needed to rant to her and to hear her dry sense of humor. He needed her to be his escape from this hell that was his paperwork. When it sounded like she picked up, his position straightened before he sulked down in his seat again.
“Hi, it’s Natalie.” The voicemail greeted him, “I’m sorry, but I’m too busy and can’t come to the phone right now. Leave me a message! Or don’t. I’m not your mom.”
The phone beeped in his ear, “Hey! How’s my favorite little assistant today?” He chirped, “I uh, tried to catch you but that didn’t work out. Um, call me back when you can, okay? I’d love to talk to someone with an actual brain. Alrighty, love you, bye!” Jimmy flipped his phone shut and immediately forgot what exactly he said in his message to his friend. He turned back to the papers, but not without anxiously checking his phone every few minutes to see if it was ringing. 
~
Natalie sighed and let herself into her cramped apartment. Today was incredibly busy, but that’s the life of a secretary at a popular law firm. Too many people waltzing in, forgetting names and times, and requesting to meet with people who were already busy. She let her hair down and brushed it out with her fingers, frowning at the tangles she somehow got. Groaning, she threw herself on her little, second hand loveseat and cracked her back, feeling incredibly tense. Natalie then riffled through her bag to check her phone for the first time since lunch. A pleased smile spread across her face to see that she missed a call from Jimmy. She excitedly opened the voice mail, feeling a little guilty that she missed his call.
“Hey! How’s my favorite little assistant today?” She grinned at his title for her, loving how that was how he addressed her, “I uh, tried to catch you but that didn’t work out. Um, call me back when you can, okay? I’d love to talk to someone with an actual brain. Alrighty, love you, bye!” The message ended there. She went to call him back, but suddenly stopped herself. She blinked a few times and then put her phone away. “Love you, bye”? He said he loved her. 
“What…the hell?” Natalie said to no one, her mind racing. He said he loved her in the message. That’s the kind of message you say to someone you’re interested in or dating. Not best friends, right? Even then, wasn’t he dating someone? Or, in the talking stage, as he called it? She then replayed the message to make sure she heard it right. And then again because the third time’s the charm. And then one more time just to hear him say it again. Natalie sat there, frozen in her seat, playing and replaying his voice message. She was in utter disbelief. It was crazy. She knew it was just a small slip up on his end, she knew him too well to know he wouldn’t just throw an “I love you” randomly like that. Still, she couldn’t deny how it made her heart flutter in her chest. Natalie felt that he would never say those words to her in any other context, so she savored the one time she thought she’d actually hear them that night. Unfortunately, the fact that she had to work early tomorrow morning slipped her mind while she stayed up all night worrying about this messaging and listening to it.
~
The next morning was unforgiving to Natalie. Her head felt heavy and her eyes threatened to close and stay shut at any moment. She cursed herself for not sleeping a wink the night before but how could she when her best friend accidentally said he loved her? Of course, it was Jimmy. He was known to speak before thinking and to joke around. But, it still stuck in her mind like a stain that refused to come out. She yawned and headed into HHM, making a beeline to her desk so she could sit down again. Once seated, she rubbed her weary eyes and tried to wake herself up so she was present for work. Thankfully, mornings were usually pretty dull in the building, so all Natalie had to do was return calls, take notes, and schedule some meetings. As long as nothing interrupted her, she could get this done without any issues and she’d be golden-
“Hey!” Jimmy said in a sing-song voice, “There she is! My favorite assistant!”
Natalie jumped in her seat but quickly composed herself, “James, you are here early!”
He groaned and rolled his eyes, “How many times do I have to tell you to call me ‘Jimmy’ like everyone else? You’re driving me crazy!”
“I have that certain effect on people, James.” She smirked, trying to hide that her heart was pounding, “Do you have an appointment this morning?”
“Oh! Right, yeah! But uh,” He checked his watch, “Looks like I’m a bit early! So, I’ll just kill some time with you.”
“Alright,” Natalie smiled, silently screaming in her head, “As long as you don’t distract me too much.”
“I would never!” He grinned, “Oh, I got you some coffee! You look a bit tired so you could probably use it.”
“Oh, you’re so sweet, but-”
“Shit! I forgot you don’t like it.” Jimmy sighed, “I’ll get it right one of these days! Scout’s honor.”
“It’s alright.” Natalie giggled, “I’m starting to wish I did like it. I could use the energy.”
“Well, it’s the thought that counts, right?” He chuckled sheepishly, “Oh! By the way, did you ever get my voice message? You never called me back!”
Natalie’s heart stopped and her eyes went wide. She coughed out, “Yeah, I did! Sorry!”
“Hey, no worries. It was late when I called you.” Jimmy shrugged and smiled, “Promise me you’ll call me back, though?”
“Of course!” Her cheeks burned as she thought about the message. It was obvious that he forgot what he said but she wasn’t about to make him wise to it, “Maybe when I get home? I’ll try to remember this time.”
“You better!” He glanced at his watch one last time, “Shit, gotta run. I’m holding you to that promise! I better hear your voice and no one else’s later today!”
“Right hand to the Bible, you have my word!” She called after him, watching him scurry away. Natalie then turned back to her work, not able to focus on it for the rest of the day. Her mind was buzzing with her brief conversation with Jimmy and the voice message still. She looked around the empty lobby quickly to make sure no one was around to see her pull out her phone. Once the coast was clear, opened her inbox and held her phone up to her ear.
“...Alrighty, love you, bye!” She smiled dreamily at those last four words. This tiny slip up of his in this voice-mail was going to remain Natalie’s dirty little secret.
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tag list: @liberty-city-ships @bobmckenzie @hollandmarchsdork @gideongrovel @timelordgfreblogs @jasperskine @wanderers-wife @cherrypieships let me know if you want to be added/removed! :)
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cgetbrmj · 4 months
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HI HELLO SO SORRY FOR HARRASSING YOU IN YOUR INBOX FEEL FREE TO TELL ME TO STFU WHENEVER BUT YOURE JUST THE ONLY MUTUAL THAT ACTUALLY IS INTO TBOSAS AGERE.
anyway do u have hcs on cg!Sejanus and little!coryo? I’ll probably be back stalking ur inbox to shove my hc for them in your face but I’m curious of yours and if we have any mutual ones??
peace n love and I’m sorry again for harrassing you-
hahaha never harassing me, I promise!! I adore getting messages in my inbox!! I'm also very hyped by having a mutual who is just as excited about tbosas agere as I am lol please feel free to send your hcs my way I love hearing them
ugh cg!Sejanus 😍😭 I have so much love for him - and Little Coryo is a massive guilty pleasure at this stage. I do have some hcs on them - mostly assuming this is in a littles are known verse (though I do have a couple vague fic ideas on an age regressing Coryo in a non-littles are known verse if anyone cares to hear about that)
Probably gonna put a break here because I'm probably gonna ramble about them for ages lol - this ask has been a great excuse to post hcs on them so - you're getting more than you signed up for lol!!!!!!! Sage feel free to message me that I'm doing too much haha, hoping that you won't mind the rambling but idk just lemme know if it's too much - and also if you like any of the hcs/agree with any!
Despite Coryo being the person defending Sejanus more often than not, Sejanus is so loyal to Coryo and Very protective of him, no matter the circumstances.
Early on (pre tbosas/early academy days) Sejanus is more concerned with protecting big Coryo's representation than he is with considering caregiving for Little Coryo, and totally helps to hide that Coryo is a Little from everyone.
Absolutely found out that Coryo did not have anything for Little him and absolutely immediately started sneaking him gear.
Probably tries to do it in a way that Coryo won't notice and argue against it - gives him a paci when he's practically asleep, hands him a stuffie to keep when he's already started slipping.
sneaks him bite size snacks periodically across a long time until he's confident Coryo's eaten enough to get through the rest of the day without realising Sejanus has caught on to his food problem.
(If in a verse with any kind of headspace suppressants) Sejanus refuses to let Coryo ignore/supress his headspace - will do anything for him but let him hurt himself.
Is really big on hand holding. They're going anywhere? Sejanus is interlocking their fingers immediately. Is Little Coryo much of a runner? Not at all. Is Sejanus giving him the opportunity? Nope. That boy is constantly at LEAST in eyesight of Sejanus.
LOVES playing with Coryo's blonde curls. Mostly only gets the chance when they're both half asleep already but it's such a soothing and comforting thing for Sejanus to do.
I feel like Sejanus would be the type of caregiver to give daily affirmations. Especially with how obvious it is that Coryo overthinks every moment of his life. I can see him trying to get Little Coryo to repeat positive affirmations in the morning and before bed.
I see Little Coryo as an easy crier. He's just so overwhelmed about everything and has barely processed any of it. When things don't go his way, he tends to break down easier because of that.
Not much of a tantrum thrower - but Little Coryo is Very petulant. He's pouty and fussy and whiney, and thinks he deserves anything and everything he could possibly want, and he Will be devastated if that doesn't work out (for like 5 minutes and then will absolutely have moved onto the next thing)
Little Coryo adores Tigris and definitely thinks she's the boss of everyone and that anything she says is always 100% true and never doubts it. Tigris is far too kind a soul to take advantage of this.
Little Coryo is definitely touch starved but also definitely does not realise it or believe it.
Sejanus tries to comfort him by hugging him and totally thinks he's made things worse for a second with how emotional of a response he gets from Coryo from doing it.
Coryo is extremely adamant that he's an independent big kid who doesn't really need Sejanus help with anything - right up until he's a little bit tired and sleepy and has decided that he's done with whatever he's doing, and then he's just about the clingiest thing ever and wants to steal every drop of Sejanus's attention.
Sejanus loves reading to Little Coryo - picture books, children's novels, poetry, (if Coryo is tired/little enough to allow it - touch and feel books/ anything interactive).
Coryo is either very talkative or barely verbal - Sejanus narrates his every movement though and fills in the silence most of the time
As I said - kind of used this ask as an excuse to dump some very random hcs on these two - I definitely have a lot more but that's heading into plot for some fics I'm currently working on territory sooo...
Sorry if this has been unintelligible or a nightmare to read - I am incredibly tired and basically writing this asleep haha but I loved rambling for a bit <3
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whumpshaped · 8 months
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Hello! I just wanted to let you know that I really enjoyed glitching. It’s a bit embarrassing to say, but I barely interacted with it in any way that you could see because the format made me feel guilty about reading whump in a way that I hadn’t felt in a long time. That’s a compliment to your writing! Glitching was about being an accomplice and moral choices and I got caught up in it that I stopped participating in the polls after a few posts. I really liked it though.
Since you couldn’t see the likes that I very much wanted to give the series, I’m sending my thanks directly. You are really good at writing, and your specific style is one of my favorites on this site. Your writing is just brutal in a way that a lot of whump writing isn’t, and your characters are extremely compelling/whumpable. I can’t describe exactly what I love about it, but I do love it. You also made glitching really quickly, which is impressive. I’m still in awe of how you made all the different endings for the finale. That must have taken forever.
Was Glitching always going to end the way it did? If the audience had voted to kill Seth at the earliest opportunity, would that have happened? Are there any other pathways that you had planned out that we didn’t get to see? Basically, I loved Glitching and I want to hear all the behind the scenes details that you are willing to share.
Thanks again!
aaaaaaaaaa thank u SO much for this. long ass response under the cut !
this is honestly.... mostly all i wanted to achieve w glitching. (my first objective was to create a whump cyoa story where the options were all bad, bc in all the other ones ppl kept picking the good ones and i was like :| but my whump..? no whump..?) several times i felt like maybe the second person pov is too much and its too real and itll turn everyone off... but then i thought. thats. kind of what i want. i want it to feel a little gross even if its fiction. i wanted to make ppl feel conflicted.
so please dont feel bad about not interacting! i understand how it could feel rly bad and guilt-inducing. im glad u made the decision to stop interacting when u did, its NOT embarrassing in the slightest. this message means a whole lot either way.
hehehehehe im GLAD theyre brutal! thats very much the style i wanna be known for lol and the style i enjoy! i want stuff to be gruesome and disgusting! i want it to be brutal and unforgiving! i want violence! i want gore! and also thank u, im glad my characters r whumpable. especially w glitching, i saw that when other ppl put their cute ocs in situations no one wanted to hurt them, so i was like ok whos my most vile most hated most disgusting oc whom everyone would Love to see be punched in the face- in general i love making my ocs whumpable and pitiful. i love a pitiful little guy
i stopped writing glitching when my exams started at college, and iced it after maybe chapter 8 or 9. then i picked it back up again after i got a 20th message in my inbox abt how ppl miss it, and it successfully forced my hand to finally sit down and just Write. (i do have to be forced to write a lot of the times. it doesnt work for everyone, but it does for me. obviously i can never get in the zone if i dont even open the document yknow. thats why i write a lot of shitty drabbles! it keeps up momentum!) and then i just kept writing. and writing. and writing. trying to get a chapter out every day because i knew what i wanted to do and i wanted to finish it. when it comes to the finale, iiiii decided i wanted to do that whole thing literally 2 days beforehand. my friend told me "wow these options r all good" and i said "i know i kinda wanna see all of them too". and the idea was born. the seed was planted. the bug was in my fucken ear.
so the next morning i checked the poll on chapter 13, and saw that of course the option to keep seth alive was winning by far. so i wrote that in advance. then i started writing out the endings for the finale. i managed to get maybe 3 of them done. then the next day i finished the other 6, tweaked the earlier ones, all that. i uploaded them all, posted everything privately, fiddled forever w the links (which i knew were likely gonna break anyway-) and THEN WHEN THE TIME CAME I WANTED TO MAKE ONE LAST EDIT AND ACCIDENTALLY POSTED IT. so i had to unprivate everything in a fucking frenzy like OH MY GOD PPL WONT UNDERSTAND I RUINED IT I RUINED EVERYTHING. but anyway yes it took me like 2 days of writing and editing but the response was soooooo worth it. ppl were so so so kind to me. it was honestly amazing.
one thing abt me, i started planning my stories At All in the last few months. before that, Nothing. and especially w smth like glitching, where the audience's decision influences the next chapter and i cant plan ahead, i didnt even bother. whatever the audience chose was always gonna happen. if they chose to exit the stream on the very first poll, i wouldve ended it. im serious. i thought abt pulling "you try to exit but it doesnt work" but then i was like. no. ppl can have one (1) chance to turn their heads away if they want, as a treat. i wouldve written a chapter about the debilitating guilt and lifelong "what if" feeling, and that wouldve been it. as for the earlier murder options, yes! i wouldve gone thru w it at any time. starting from maybe the 6th chapter (or whenever i brought in the murder option) the audience held the power to end the stream and seth's suffering. they chose not to. but they couldve.
one option that i wanted that never got chosen was the baseball bat. im obsessed w beating someone to the point of broken bones w a baseball bat. so when the ending was getting nearer and nearer, i thought about simply disregarding the last poll and writing a single chapter where the host goes "i respected the choices u made up until now, but this time, im making the decision". but i was like. no fuck that. this is an interactive story all about being able to choose ur own decisions. i just asked the audience to supply me w puppy seth commands, citing how it was interactive. i couldnt just go and ignore that two chapters later, yknow? plus as u said it kind of all hinged on the feeling of "i did this. im responsible". so if i took that responsibility away in the last second IN THE MOST IMPORTANT DECISION OF ALL it wouldnt have been good enough
most of the time i just kept giving the options i really wanted to write, and eventually, ppl picked them. it was a good story in the sense that the order didnt matter too much. i could give the same options, and the host was still able to carry them all out.
some more behind the scenes- i thought about revealing the host's identity multiple times. i thought about making them someone the audience already knew (like ren, my friend's oc who greatly inspired the character from the very first chapter), or someone who couldve been vaguely familiar but unknown (a former friend of pumpkin?), but in the end i just settled on the mystery. especially since i decided to give it a paranormal twist. i couldve NEVER made a better reveal than the mystery itself. never ever. some things dont have to be revealed.
but yeah! thats that. i rly enjoyed glitching, i loved the response i got (it was by far the most popular story ive ever posted on here w the most tags and comments and asks), and i loved how i managed to do the finale. it was concise, i can say i finished another story, and its just all around a great time. thank u so much for ur message !!!
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vulpisnocturna · 6 months
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Sorry if this is like an intrusive question but how tf do you manage to write so much in such a short span of time ⏱️⏱️⏱️???? I have inattentive ADHD too and the amount of stuff you put out is seriously impressive, it takes a lot for me to be able to finish something 😅🥲😭
Hi lovely 🤍
First of all don’t apologise, I don’t mind at all!
As someone with inattentive ADHD, mine works one of two ways: can’t write one sentence in 3 weeks vs hyperfocus. So you see me put out the stuff that literally writes itself, because I won’t sleep, won’t eat, won’t have breaks until I’m done because I can’t disrupt my concentration. That’s not very healthy and I don’t advise it ahaha
But seriously, I’m in this mood right now with this Chrollo fic where I’m constantly thinking about it, and it feels so easy to write. But I’ve got WIPs I haven’t updated in more than a month and a half because I just can’t seem to finish a chapter or the paragraphs I do write I read them again and it’s just blegh
Also, I’m a hopeless people pleaser terrified of conflict and literally get so anxious when people message me asking me about a request they’ve previously sent me. So I try to write them as quickly as I can. The time it takes ranges from 2 hours to months. Again, I have requests I plan to write that have been sitting in my inbox since July
Also these two weeks I’ve had covid so I was mostly home just writing all day. So don’t ever feel guilty! We all have different art flows, and writing doesn’t have to have a definite time frame!
However, as a rule, I always try to write something every day. Even if it’s a hundred words. I’ve found it really helps :)
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frecklydork · 11 months
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You said you're only back temporarily... do you know when you'll be gone again? Will you come back after?
ah i don't really have a plan, i've been doing so incredibly Bad for so long, and i originally didn't want to come back until i was feeling better, but i just. never got better. and then i ran low on food money so now im opening commissions as soon as i can, either this week or next week, and then i was gonna just close this blog once my commission batch was done.
but i dont know if thats something im still going to do, because i didn't expect to get so many messages. i kind of expected that i'd come back, write my pinned post, nobody would read it or send me anything, nobody would have noticed i left at all, and then i'd do like maybe 5 commissions and then i'd shut off the blog again. but i have 89 inbox messages, 52 dms not including the few i managed to answer. everyone has been so kind and supportive and i definitely needed it, i'm very grateful, but i can't respond to everything and i'd feel guilty if i shut down my blog and just left everyone hanging. and even if i did shut down my blog, i'm worried that i'd go back to just, Not Coming Back for almost a year and just sitting alone in my own misery. but at the same time, i don't want people to see me like this, i feel so bad that you're all dealing with me when i'm hurting so much. i'm not myself anymore. i'm trying really hard to look enthusiastic in my responses, use a bunch of emojis like i used to, but it feels like i don't have a right to even talk to my friends anymore. i'm scared everyone is going to treat me the way my ex-friend did, i'm scared everyone is out to betray me. i'm scared that i was treated so horribly because there's something wrong with me and i don't know what to fix about myself to be worthy of kindness again. i'm so broken up. i've been such a mess. i don't know what i'm doing, i'm taking things one day at a time. if i get so overwhelmed that i can't take it anymore then i will probably make a post saying i need to take a few weeks break or something.
it also depends on how i'm going to handle potentially running into triggers. like if i want to look at someone's art blog, and i suddenly see my ex-friend commissioning the artist, and the artist is posting drawings of her S/I with any of the TF characters that she conditioned me to believe would abuse me... it's gonna wreck me, i am inconsolable for days after that. that's the worst thing that i can possibly see bc the images are stuck in my head, and i know she knows i see them, she commissioned all of those Starscream ones back in January just to hurt me, and then i'm paranoid that she's doing that with all of her commissions that she tells artists to make public. the starscream ones won't leave my mind on my worst days, it's like a repetitive Bad Thought that keeps popping into my head and i have to use so much of my energy just to try to push it away. i've done everything i can to block and blacklist everything related to her, but she just, she commissions everyone who's open and she commissions people just about every fucking day. i'm bound to see her. not to mention people's kofi pages and twitter pages, i'm always tensing up when i'm looking to see if someone's shops are open because i KNOW im gonna see her floating around somewhere, acting all nice and sending so much money to so many people. she acts so nice. she acts so kindhearted and all the things she did to manipulate me shocked me so badly, i still can't believe i went through it because she was just. she was so nice!! but she isn't!! but other people don't know that because she sends everyone so! much! money! and she acts! so! nice! and it really hurts that i have to be so on guard about it! i should have the right to look at ppl's artwork and scroll through their blogs without a ton of adrenaline shooting thru my body and giving me that fight or flight response. it sucks. and it hurts when i see someone's art blog and i can't scroll thru it, i'll see a gorgeous starscream painting and i won't look further into their art tag because 99% of the time, i see my ex-friend posted somewhere. and then it feels impossible to heal. if i end up seeing too many things that remind me of her, i'm definitely going to have to leave tumblr for a bit, whether it's password protecting or just simply going on hiatus for a while. but idk if that will even help because i'm triggered so often regardless if i'm online or not. i feel like i can't heal no matter what direction i take because she's Always Here.
i don't know what's gonna happen yet, i wish i could give you a solid answer instead of writing this long ass response, i'm sorry 😓 my hope is that i won't have to leave again at all, i really hope i'm going to improve but,,, man i just have no idea. i've been doing so bad for so long. ptsd is a bitch and it doesn't just go away overnight. and betrayal from someone who claimed to care about you is one of the worst feelings in the world bc there's so much grief that accompanies that, losing someone you were close with while also dealing with the fact that your trust was broken. and then you're stuck thinking "why was i mistreated? i don't get it? was it my fault? did i deserve it?? are other people hoping to betray me too and i don't know it??" and this all happened during a time when i was in the most lonely, suicidal, vulnerable state of mind i had ever been in. i'm incredibly shaken up and i don't know how to get better. so i don't know what i need to do, esp in terms of this blog i really have no idea if i should just leave when i finish the first commission batch or if i should just tough it out. i dont know. im very numb either way.
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moonhoures · 9 months
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📰 𝐈𝐌𝐏𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐓 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐄: 𝐔𝐏𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐒!
literally me rn 👆🏻
anyways, hello my loves! i’m here to give you some updates on where this blog stands and is (hopefully!) going 🤭
first, what the fuck happened? 🫣
it’s been pretty much exactly a year since i dipped from this account (again). i’m sorry about that. i got a little overwhelmed and frankly just didn’t feel motivated or excited to write for a long time. i tried writing a few things (and got a little far tbh) but i just wasn’t satisfied with any of it. i even had a terrible moment or two where i got very close to deleting this account entirely but i decided against it as i’m really proud of some of the things i put out, and i would’ve been really sad to see it go. i also love all of you very much and appreciate everything you guys have done for or said to me, and i would’ve felt really guilty taking this blog away from you guys. so i promise i won’t be doing that any time soon!
second, first love 🥰
i’m sure most of you have seen my teaser for first love part 5 by now (which, yes, will unfortunately be the last part for the series 😓) but!! i have like 1 or 2 small things i plan on posting before hand to keep you guys fed since it won’t be posted for another month or so. i’ve been working on it as much as i can for the past couple months, but i do work basically every day so i can only write so much 🫤 but yeah, that’s how first love is! i’ll explain some more on it when i can!!
third, asks/messages 💬
i’ve gotten so many sweet messages since i went MIA (a little under 40 😭). i’m sorry to keep all of you waiting, but i promise i’ll try to answer them soon! i did get some negative comments about my absence and such, but i won’t be answering any of those publicly. i don’t want to feed into them. i understand i’ve done this multiple times & it’s annoying, and i apologize for that. writing is a big passion of mine (as is interacting with all of you!) but it can get draining running this account sometimes. i’m trying my best, and i appreciate your patience with me. i’m definitely undeserving of it.
fourth, also! ☝🏻
i have decided that from now on i will not be taking requests. as much as i love writing specific stuff that you guys want, it does give me a little anxiety. so i will only be taking very limited requests for drabble games and stuff like that in the future. i hope you guys understand 🫶🏻
i also decided to delete my twitter account (well, it kind of got hacked? i think? idk i had trouble with it and basically can’t get back in and don’t want to create a whole new one) so i wont be answering asks with twitter links anymore for this reason.
fifth, comebacks?! 🤩
i’ve recently tried to catch up on some of the comebacks i missed. txt’s temptation ep, monsta x’s reason ep, enhypen’s dark blood ep, and skz’s 5 star album have been in my rotation lately and i love them!! (duh) so if any of you want to stop by my inbox and fangirl over them with me i’d absolutely love that 🥺👉🏻👈🏻
lastly, a thank you 💌
thanks to all of you that continued to follow me, leave likes/reblogs/comments, and message me while i was gone. you guys truly don’t understand how much your support for me means. like i said, i was close to deleting this account all together, but i decided against it, and it was largely because of you. i decided to keep writing because of you. re-reading all of the precious comments you’ve left me on my older work motivated me and inspired me to continue writing first love which sparked my joy again. so, thank you. i also hope some of you read this and it encourages you to leave love for other writers like myself. you could be the one that changes someone’s entire outlook on their account and keep them going. at the very least, you’ll make their day 💕
also, thank you for 4,000 followers??? um what the fuck??? i’ve never had so many people supporting me, i’m actually losing my marbles rn please help me find them??? (that was such a lame joke, okay i’m going to bed soon 😭🥱 ily bye)
i love you. i love you. i love you. more content is coming soon. promise. 😚💗
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coldercreation · 7 months
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Hi hi! I just wanted to check in and see how you were doing! It's been a while since we've heard from you :)
Hello!!<3
The most hugest apologies for completely dropping off of the face of the planet for a bit!! I definitely should've checked my inbox here sooner, sorry all you lovely people who have left me the loveliest messages, I appreciate you so much! I'm okayy I promise, I feel bad for making yous worry- you're too sweet fr 🥺😭
I really am doing okay though! Been focusing on my health situation (which is great when it's 'focusing' as in self-care, but not so great when I'm unable to stop being anxious about it lmao). But yuh, I've fully embraced self-care and been spoiling myself every day. It's been kinda sweet... :( and such small effort! Been vibing with the end of summer and now looking forward to the cozy season a lot too!
But... Haven't been writing at all awh hahah! Howeverrr as always, these lads and stories are on my mind all the time, so I know I'll be back to writing whenever the right sort of inspiration will come around again. :) Interestingly I have been very content not writing this time around?? Usually I feel very frustrated and guilty if I don't write, but I think this break has been a good one. Maybe I was getting a bit fatigued? Not sure. I mean, I wasn't updating that much at all, but behind the scenes I was constantly putting on this pressure on myself to write and it stressed me out when I wasn't able to match that.
So yeah, the break has felt very... fresh? Think I'll take it one day at a time and see what happens. I know it's boring to wait on the readers side, but hopefully the old updates can bring some joy and entertainment in the meanwhile hahah<3
I really hope you have been well, anon and everyone else who has written to me or is reading this! I'm feeling so optimistic and light despite all the slowly but surely improving health stuffs, and I have this funny buzzy excitement in me when I think about the future??? How neat! :D xx
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