#but i have written exactly one thing

[bbreaddog]

Practising Goncharov Theme by @caramiaaddio on violin bc I thought it would add an extra layer of haunting…ness (is that a word?)

Here’s the excerpt I’m playing in the video:

Despite it being in a fuck off key for violin it is a really beautiful piece and it’s absolutely worth the trouble of practising in second position (world’s most hated position) and I’m HOPING 🤞 I can record and (maybe) post a full cover of it someday

#goncharov #music #violin #goncharov theme #oh man i have not posted my face in a very very very long time #possibly years #am i freaking out about it? a little #could i have converted this to audio instead? #well. yes but. it’s not exactly awesome quality in this practise room lmao #i so so badly wanna write out all the technical things I’m doing/focusing on here bc GRRR TECHNICAL WORK IS SO INTERESTING TO ME #but i would be typing out a whole essay probably and i don’t think my followers really. care that much about violin tech #lest they also play violin #i have one (1) known mutual who plays violin and that’s IT #apologies for the metronome ticking in the video #it can be very irritating to listen to #alas… it is also important for not speeding up when playing #anyways #hi caramiaaddio you don’t know me but big fan of what you’ve written here #ESPECIALLY THE CHROMATIC BITS OUGHHHH #the little semiquavers that poke their heads through like TWICE are surprisingly hard #but also they sound extra creepy in a good way #BIG fan #wait wait WAIT WAIT #i think this is my first time posting any of my violin playing here like. EVER. #I’ve been here for OVER A DECADE #AND I’M POSTING MY VIOLIN FOR THE FIRST TIME. FOR FUCKING. GONCHAROV. #i don’t have the right emoji for how I’m feeling rn #personal #mine #my face

[penofwildfire]

Y'know I'm pretty sure obsessively thinking about a lego cartoon all day every day for over a decade to the point that it's a key part of your entire personality and one of the first things people know about you is just. Not a very allistic thing to do. Y'know? You understand me?

#mom it's been a DECADE #a DECADE of me doing this #but noooo I can't be autistic because I'm not exactly like my cousins or whatever she thinks autism has to look like 🙄 #and I HAVE other traits!! I do!! but those are written off as just annoying habits or personal failures on my part!! #she KNOWS how much I like this show. she's been THERE for my incessant ramblings and half-baked theories #she's been THERE for my piles and piles of fanart that all started with a silly doodle of Lloyd #she's SEEN me turn everything intonan excuse to talk about Ninjago!! it's a running joke with people who know me!! it's a whole thing!! #it's one of my defining traits!!!!! #fuckin hell man!! #sorry for the rant on main lol #autism #autistic #ninjago

[antiterf]

To any person who has felt internalized transphobia, if you feel the world is against you, then know that I support you. It can be so hard hating yourself and hating the group you belong to. It takes so much work to even begin to feel comfortable with yourself, even more with your community. Even if what I say to you politically wise is too much, that it’s too far. Even if you’ve hurt other trans people, it doesn’t matter in how much I care for you. I still care about you because I have been the person crying about how much they’re a freak in the bathroom mirror. I care about you because it’s unfair for you to endure this hardship. No matter what, I want you to get through this, and I’d be overjoyed if you promised to survive it.

No matter what, just please, never forget that you are human. You are never less than human. 

#So the book I'm trying to write I ended up writing this for #And it's one of the more heartfelt things I've written #and even if it seems controversial that's part of the point #when you have a lot of internalized shit you don't exactly feel like anyone would be on your side #Because obviously the people who agree with your self hatred aren't #and the ones you've hurt have no responsibility to do so either with every right to hate you #I may not see the actions as justifiable but i still know that pain and I still care for the people who are going through it #and yes that includes the people who have hurt me #notaterftip #not sarcasm #internalized transphobia

[mycarhasasecret]

You ever read a fanfic that stays in your head for years and you can never find it again?

#I want to know if it was as good as I remember #I think I was about 12 when I read it so < 8 years old #Okay let me describe it a little bit so that you can understand exactly WHY I need to find this and verify that my standards sucked #it was on Quotiv #big red flag right there #but i remember it being so well written and engaging! #and it was a TFP soundwave x OC #or reader maybe #but pretty sure OC #and the MC had alexandria's genesis #and her and soundwave both bonded over having purple eyes #there was like a whole scene in a cave or something and it was a really tender moment of him removing the visor and showing his face #at one point he asks her parents for permission to court their daughter #it was the first time I'd heard the word in that context #and i assumed it was a transformers thing #needless to say i was baffled when the parents immediately knew what the word meant without an explanation #this fic as well as one called Purple Heart and another called Its The Great Pumpkin Sam Witwiki shaped me as a person #I need a TFA fic and a g1 fic to blow me away so that I can add some variation to my list of fics that have put me on my ass with emotions

[anxiously-sidequesting]

the only reason why I dont post more about gretta darkkettle is because then I'd actually get Serious on here

#listen yall im not really the type of person to let a fictional character get me actually riled up (negative) irl #cuz theyre just tools in a narrative not real people #but like dont some of you have just That One Character that you actually just Hate. #actually i dont think id have so much of a problem eith gretta if she were written to actually face consequences and not be a free woman #but like. we have a game that introduces serious issues within it right? please portray that PROPERLY .... #like okay we all know that wizard101 isnt exactly the pinnacle of genius and sensitive writing #theres like 800 more topics in the game that were handled horribly that are much more important than gretta but. #i wont even get INTO gretta ANYMORE SUALAJSOSHDU she. she ugh. she really makes me (commits murder on a wide scale) #like i was thinking of doing an essay on her but for many reasons i decided against that. one of those reasons is that I Love Myself Actualy #anyways this post is useless. HAKWHEOEH bit idgaf i like to air out my thoughts like stinky laundry #its always noteworthy to me when fiction actually makes me MAD. a lot of the things in wizard101 is like that for me. goos job kingsisle /s #wizard101 #wiz101 #w101 #text posts

[blitheringbongus]

Can't believe Scar saw a rapidly approaching, dishevled mumbo and went "he's so cute." I need to run unorthodox experiments on them.

IKR SAME OMG

They’re literally perfect for each other <- delusional

But seriously they have so much lore together in my silly brain and the few interactions they do have (WHICH HAS BEEN INCREASING A LOT LATELY MAY I ADD) has been FUELING the fire rapidly and gods gods GODS do I have many thoughts about them

#literally making an illustration type comic on Mumbos whole vampire timeline #Scar will be next with his vex schenanigans.. #the worst part is I always cycle like three to five different backstory’s in my brain for these two I CANNOT decide #but now that I’ve written a short ficlet (that no one will see unless asked) abt a few scenes of Mumbos backstory I think I’m pretty set on- #-his part #Scar tho??? no clue #I have the Hotguy backstory (which I daydream about WAY too much) I have the apocalypse backstory. I have the single player raised by villa- #-gers for years and years cuz his mom dropped him off in the single player world when Scar wasn’t conscidered a player yet since he was an- #-infant cuz it was a teen pregnancy and she was too scared to tell anyone so she just dropped him off with the villagers never to be seen #again. and since it was technically HER single player world when Scar DID grow up old enough to be recognized as a player he couldn’t #access any of the 'exit world' stuff or anything like that since it wasn’t his world #and then like a watcher or smth pulled him out of it so that Scar could be put through the horrors of gun related things for experimentstuff #and then there’s the backstory of where scar IS a watcher. like not a person turned watcher he was BORN (if you could say that) a watcher #and like the other watchers wanted to do an experiment of basically 'could a watcher if stripped of its memories and placed in a people- #-world be able to produce its own feelings and emotions?' and so they did that to Scar but they didn’t place him there as a baby no. they #placed him there as a full grown man so bros even more confused. and when the life series stuff started he had exactly one ☝️ dream per #Series and it was tiny little snippets of his watcher self but he didn’t know that it’s him but like he felt a strange pull towards these #dreams so that’s basically the reason why he kept coming back to the life games even tho they hurt him deeply as we all know #and then when he won secret life the secret keeper asked him what his wish was now that he’s won and he didn’t ask to know who he was and #where he came from (since he just appeared one day as a full grown man with no identification) since he’s made peace with that maybe it is #better not to know. so instead he asked abt the dreams he always has in these series and wth their abt and the context and stuff #and then BAM the secret keeper just drops all that information on him and he has an identity crises :D #anyways. I put both of these guys through many horrors I just have so many ideas for scar specifically. oh also there’s that backstory where #hes an assasin guy and he feels rlly guilty abt it when he gets split in half (gtws and btws) cuz like he has morals now apparently?? also #it explains the scammer stuff cuz he was a HUGE scammer bacl them #asks #hermitcraft #goodtimeswithscar #mumbo jumbo #redscape

[luvbug724]

36 days.

i think we as a fandom don't talk about dan and renee enough aftg hitlist anon. i understand that renison and mattdan (?) prevail but we need to look at the sheer potential in that one short story about dan's recruitment alone. the sports rivalry turned hatred. dan only getting recruited because wymack came to watch renee. the strip club. having to unite in the face of misogynists. do you see the vision. do u see the vision aftg hitlist anon.

#i'm sorry i know i always go against mainstream fanon #but are u seeing this #more unpopular fanon sorry: #bi renee. ive been a jeanee truther for 3 years i cant put it down. their canon interactions r really cute theyre just got the vibes sorry #at least some of the foxes have gotta be a little ugly im sorry guys they cant all be hot #i hate reading aus unless its like nearly exactly canon backstories but they meet differently #that ones just like a general thing all the time i'm not an au person #i LAY MY LIFE DOWN for people who write like ridiculously long pre canon or post canon fics #um #u might be able to guess what fandom i very recently got into based on that #if u r thinking “Is it that one?” the answer is probably yes. its a big one. #have never read or watched source material nor do i plan to who cares they're all dead anyway & authors a pos #also missing scene canon compliant fics. anyone whose ever written andrew pov baltimore.... i come to you humbly #and with love #aftg hitlist anon #i hope u know that my replies to these asks r genuinely the first thing i think of in response thats the philosophy im going with here #today i have dan and renee on the brain. it happens.

[luxxuryycar]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Wonka (2023) Rating: Not Rated Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Mr. Fickelgruber/Arthur Slugworth Additional Tags: PWP, well there's some plot as always, but mostly it's just porn, trans felix fickelgruber Summary:

“You didn’t tell me you were coming,” he says as they ascend the stairs, Arthur just behind him, so close he can practically feel the warmth coming off of him. “What if you’d…interrupted something?” he adds, with a quick glance over his shoulder.

“I might as well have,” Arthur answers, his voice already rougher than usual, the way it gets when he’s aroused. “With the way you’re dressed,” he adds, and the words send an unexpected jolt of heat through Felix, so that he nearly stumbles on the last stair and Arthur has to reach out and steady him with a hand on his back.

-

Arthur pays Felix an unexpected visit

@fckedupnerd

#arthur slugworth #felix fickelgruber #wonka 2023 #i have exactly one day off this week so i have written 2 things #absolutely unheard of for me lol

[bbreaddog]

I would like to know more about You've get Something to Lose, please and thank you?

Bobby POV where he’s gearing up to tell Sunset Curve some big news!

It started off as a one shot with no actual plot/motive/end goal. I’ve written quite a bit on it, but it’s all just one long scene that goes absolutely nowhere… so in all honesty, I’m thinking of changing the whole thing. Just don’t know how/to what yet

I know I have some good stuff in the first draft that I could split and spread across chapters, so that’s a plus! Now to come up with some sort of actual plot…

Send me a title

#ask #jmrothwell #wip tag game #jatp #jatp fic #what’s the big news? i don’t fucking KNOW #i have such good juicy anxious bobby things written up already #i have really funny moments that could pass as slice-of-life too #in terms of plot #i have a couple sprouts of ideas that aren’t interesting enough to me to expand on #i have one (1) idea of whatever the news is and zero (0) reasons why it would be the case #if I’m honest #I’ve thought about just abandoning this fic altogether a couple times #but like i said: there’s a good of good stuff in this first draft that i could use #I’ve just been adding more and more to this one giant scene leading to nowhere #that’s the problem with acting on half-formed ideas 😔 #anyway. i know I haven’t exactly sold this idea but. if anyone is interested in discussing/brainstorming. please.

[rainbowresurrection]

I ended up reading The Price of the Phoenix and while it didn't make me want to bleach my eyes like Killing Time, I still didn't like it as much as I hoped I would. Don't get me wrong, the homoeroticism was intriguing to me, but the actual writing and storyline itself left me with a headache. I think I get my hopes up with these books, given all of the possibilities that the written word has for Trek, and it inevitably sets me up for disappointment lol

#if u liked it thats fine I just kind of hated it #star trek #The only ones Ive genuinely liked so far is STTMP and the one about Garak written by Andrew Robinson #i wish Roddenberry had written more. STTMP was no literary masterpiece but his writing style had a lot of potential and I feel that #he actually captured the characters authentically and you could relate to their feelings #Price of the Phoenix had all of this corny alpha male shit going on that almost made me feel #like the author just didn't know how to write men or something #Like they relied a lot on stereotypes of the time which sucked considering that Kirk and co. are supposed to be living in the future #the dialogue was clunky and even confusing at times #and the characters were just #idk. vapid to me #Like Kirk and Spock's love for each other is portrayed which is nice but basically everything else about them just didnt feel #accurately characterized or otherwise explored #it was basically just muliple chapters of several different versions of Kirk getting his ass kicked & this big weird villain dude taking up #space on the page with his plan to take over the universe or whatever #the reincarnation concept was intriguing but the themes just weren't clear enough for me #the end haha #sttos #k/s #review #price of the phoenix #well Im glad I read it anyway I was curious #i get kind of leary of certain K/S content TBF since a lot of it- esp around that time- comes off as voyeuristic towards M/M relationships #a lot of those ppl didnt exactly care about queer movements as much as they cared about seeing their two fictional favs fuck #yes there were queer writers but we didnt always exactly get center stage in these things #you can tell what is written with respect and whats just kinda. written. you feel me #i love K/S and its history but Im not gonna pretend all or even half of it was written with the intention of uplifting queer men #i ended up having more to say than I realized uhhhhhh to be continued at another date

[catboy-kakashi]

Im gonna say it. Theres not enough nukenin kakashi fics that acknowledge gai’s reaction to losing kakashi

#not to be all ‘why isnt this fic that was written for the author’s enjoyment specifically catered to me’ #but like. come on…. its GAI. you cant have kakashi without gai #i have read exactly one fic where gai actually got upset and cried over kakashi betraying konoha and i was like. oh good shit good shit #there were like two more where gai helped kakashi and that was also good shit #anyway. i am literally always thinking about kakagai so my opinions might be skewed #camtankerous says things

[rabiosass]

i think i figured out what bothers me about live action netflix Yue

she kinda acts like a 21st century girl that was plopped into the middle of this fantasy story.

#likee do you have to live within the constraints of this fantasy feudal society or not!? it's cute you use your powers to make ice cream #but what are your opinions on the restrictions of your waterbending? what spiritual leading were you doing exactly? #has she fought with her father about it before? gIMME SOMETHING TO WORK WITH HERE #look. i also just think it would've been way spicier and dramatic if she was betrothed to hahn while getting hot and bothered over sokka #think of the forbidden love storyline!!! why do the writers hate me!! GIVE ME THE DRAMA. I WANTED DRAMA. scandalous affair with the swt boy #+ she met one day ago?? sign me tf up!! i would watched the hell out of that. plsss they let me down so bad with the yuekka romance. #they could've outsold but instead they gave us That. yuekkas everywhere in despair lmaoo. #me #natla #Yue #idk how else to describe it...like cartoon yue could've definitely been written better. she was a barely there but still tragic. #the things they added were nice but they didn't address it much? she is the future chief! cool! she can waterbend! nice! #she can visit the spirit world in her dreams! okay! but what else?? idk her personality was just Off hahaha

[jhonny]

“Which makes me wonder if the memeification of IBS might be part of the problem. While the condition’s visibility may suggest a net positive, could it have the inadvertent effect of leaving sufferers resigned to symptom management instead of pursuing a cure, viewing the disorder as a fluky feature of their bodies rather than a distinct condition that merits precise intervention?”

^^^ IBS tumblr, i implore you to read this article in full. the above is the most immediately relevant except from it, but there’s a lot of information in the full piece that may be useful. like that IBS is not even a real diagnosis, but an umbrella term for a bunch of symptoms relating to an ‘unclassified gut issue’. wild.

#ibs #ibs tumblr #gut health #astonishing to read an article written by someone who seems to understand Exactly the relationship the internet has with ibs. #also attack me if you must but it's tiring to hear ibs talked about the way it is. #like it just seems to be one of those things people are so resigned to. or thought of as a fact of life. #like... yes it's reasonably common but that doesn't mean it should be treated so flippantly. it's . not normal to have these issues. #please look after yourselves. #inb4 i get killed OBVIOUSLY not everyone has access to good health care. #i know. i know. i know.

[undermattsun]

will you ever write about k-pop men

look i’m not saying i will but i’m not saying i won’t but i’m also saying i have a kpop and ppop sideblog @underskz and who knows what will appear on there……..who knows

#ok so mini confession #i have uh #a good amt of kpop fics in my docs that i’ve just written since getting into kpop…… #and they just sit there #and i look at them w fondness and fear bc who was i #i say as if i’m not currently working on one #honestly i’ve just been writing for me these days but i would like to eventually share the madness again xxx #wow miki rambling in the tags again #the one thing i genuinely love about dumblr is this exactly #writing in the tags #– asks