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abbynx · 10 months

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Call me

Gavril from the Bubo Series Fanfic

Riddled with thoughts you've kept suppressed come spilling out in the middle of the night.

Gender neutral.

The Bubo Series is by partuulla, go support them! 💝✨ Also. I fear that Gav might be OOC and for that, I am so sorry.

That night, you maybe would have died if you slept like a log throughout a break-in even after a tiring day. Painless death, with no trace of your body, perhaps not even a sign of struggle. Police investigation may come to conclusions that you might have ran away but then again, that would be a questionable disappearance as you really showed no signs of of such. Your belongings intact (except for maybe the foods in your fridge), through texts you never really showed any hints. Neighbors and co-workers wouldn't even know where you went, nor would your loved ones.

You'd be plastered in thumbnails of exploitative True Crime shows. If you hadn't crept down the stairs and swung your bat at the first thing you saw, then yes, you would have died too. There was just about plenty ways for you to die that night and thankfully you had taken the right steps to keep your life. Gavril could kill you but for some reason, he didn't.

Reason in which you can only assume to attaching himself to the first person who shows the barely barest minimum of human kindness. You have no recollection by which you had expressed hints of being interested with him, you were just trying to survive and live another day.

"You really are lonely"

Back then, you mentally scoffed at the statement. 'Projection much?' you thought. You don't even know where he pulled that from, aside from the man himself... Only to have that confirmation upon conversing with him further.

Suddenly, you were in a relationship that would put your middle school relationship to shame. Neck-break pace of getting in a relationship, that's a new record, Disney Princesses could never. It felt like being a hostage for fuck's sake, what would have happened if you rejected him? Knowing nothing about him but his first name (not even his full name), favourite food, some of his hobbies that isn't larceny, has a friend rat, and he travels a lot. Well, you came to know more about him when you reached out to him via texts, which he was quick and particularly eager to reply.

There was this lingering thought of calling the police on him after he had given his number to you. Give his contact detail to the authorities and let them have him. But you didn't. You had the choice not to talk to him, but you did and in fact, they were highlights of your days. The Pavlovian effect it had instilled within you was just pathetically laughable in your eyes, how you'd perk up at the notification coming from your phone. Not to be a stupid romantic cliché nut, but he brings a warm tug on your cheeks when you can't help but smile with every texts. Cringe, but true. You were starting to wonder whether he saw through you when he said you were lonely or it was sheer projection and you were just being a crazy defensive bitch.

But in all this, there's this nagging voice at the back of your head. What the fuck is this relationship?What does 'not roomates' even mean? He calls you darling, but what if that is just him being friendly and referring to friends with terms of endearment? Like you've thought before, you have barely expressed something remotely close to romantic that night but at the same time, he seems to be the type to get attached so fast with the show of the minute show of the bare minimum of being a decent fucking person. What if it is just friendship he wants? You want nothing more but the clarity of the boundaries of your relationship in fear of overstepping or making him uncomfortable. It is why you have been holding back no matter how playful he is with flirtations.

You've had previous relationship experiences that had made you this... Wary. Out of defense, you always kept that annoying nagging paranoia on your mental bedside table to protect yourself or the other person from the inevitable heartbreak. This is unabashedly so middle school relationship-coded, you have no idea why you continue to indulge this at this age, were you really trying to achieve a new low? You have nothing against Gavril... Okay, maybe you do, the man did try to eat you, it is justified, but water under the bridge (sort of), but other than that, he is just a bit of a recluse and withdrawn from certain topics.

Whenever you'd ask for clarifications of what your relationship is, he would often swerve the topic away. It was painfully obvious how he doesn't want to address it. In one month you knew him, maybe he does not know either or maybe there is nothing at all in this relationship but he is afraid to answer. You learned not to further upset him by allowing him to change the subject and it has always been that way. You are well-aware that it's a red flag, his refusal to communicate but did that sway you away from him? Barely.

We need to talk.

I need you to be serious.

You are well-aware how much these words can be anxiety-inducing and would immediately hold his attention with no cutesy emojis indicated. At first you didn't exactly know why you wanted to know until you texted him. It wasn't to confirm any of your paranoia and hurt yourself in the process, you genuinely want to fix it... Keep him longer. At least there's some growth, the old Y/N would have done this with the intent being the former. Old Y/N would set up the trap, and if they didn't like what they heard, they're pushing the person away before they could feel hurt.

Yes?

Eager as ever, he was always quick to reply.

What are we exactly?

To him, it was unprompted for the day, to be fair, it had always been a question which lingered every time you talked with him. You just wanted an answer, why can't he answer it? It's not like you were asking for too much, you just wanted to know. How serious does he want this to be?

Not roommates 😅

It took him longer to reply, considering his icon had been bouncing for a few moment that you'd assume he already has at least a paragraph ready. This would have made you smile, but today was different.

I'm serious Gavril.

For a moment you were struck with guilt. Were you selfish to put him in such an uncomfortable position right now? Maybe there is a reason he does not want to answer— no... Communication is key, and you need to know at least an inkling of how he feels to know how to proceed.

Here's another one, why do you always avoid this question? I just want to know so we know how to talk about this.

I honestly don't know

Can I call?

Go ahead

Almost immediately his contact appeared on your notification tab, ringing incessantly. Upon answering, you can hear all sorts of background noises on his end, most of them being the motors of vehicles.

"I hope it's not an inconvenience that I called, but I don't think I can text what's on my mind." His voice was clear despite the city noises you can hear from his end.

"All good."

For a moment he stumbles, pausing momentarily in search for words and gather his thoughts. "I don't know what are we honestly. I always thought that we're... Ya know... A thing," again with the vagueness, but you let him continue. "But then you started asking 'what are we', I also started to question that and I can't really return the question around since you're also confused... I... I just don't know how to, y'know, start a conversation about it. I always thought that if we don't talk about it, it would be fine." Uncertainty was in his voice as he rambled, sighing by the end of it. "Why are you asking?"

"I didn't want to assume what our relationship is. I want to avoid overstepping some boundaries. Been there, done that." A bitter laugh originates from your throat, memories of past relationships flooding in your mind. "I just don't want to make you uncomfortable... I... I'm sorry, I overthink a lot of things that sometimes I just make problems in my head and--"

"No, you didn't make it up. I think this has been keeping you up a lot and you just wanted to talk about it properly. I'm sorry for not clarifying sooner," His tone was light and pleasant, there he was again being the warm tug on your cheeks. The anxiety in your chest subsides with his words and honestly, you have no idea how much you can hold on to it before abandoning him all together. "Well then, what do you want us to be?"

There was that question again, this time it came from him. He already thought you guys are a thing, whatever that means, but perhaps now it bears a certain connotation that have just been confirmed and you can't help but to smile.

"I like what we have..." Except now you're now aware of it. Perhaps in time you'd be more comfortable expressing yourself as well. "I guess we are a thing"

"A bit vague but I guess we don't really have a word for it yet," He chuckled on the other side of the line. To be frank, he isn't quite comfortable labelling it as a 'couple' yet. Emphasis on yet. "I'm glad you brought this up."

"You are?" You sheepishly ask, fumbling with your sleeve. "I was always told that I'm just paranoid. Er, everyone says that I am. That everything that I overthink only becomes a problem when I bring them up... So sometimes I just try to shut up because I don't want any trouble and then every problem I 'created' in my mind just plays out and comes apart at the seams and ruins everything."

"Sounds like they're the problem. You're just pointing it out and they're not listening. Let me guess, they blamed you to some degree?"

"Bullseye. No wonder I thought being alone was better," You bitterly chuckled, before sighing. "This is... Stupidly depressing. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. And it's depressingly relatable. But at least we have each other."

That's reassuring, you'll take it. A yawn creeps from your mouth as you responded, "Right."

"Go to bed. It's late already."

"Only if you do the same." Knowing him, he'd skip sleep yet again.

"Fine." He relents with a defeated sigh. "Next time, just address the problems okay? I promise you're not paranoid."

The old you would be in deep doubt. The current you is just relieved at the reassurances sent your way. Heart strings were strummed and you smiled through the haze of sleepiness.

"Promise."

"Alright. Good night, darling."

Half-lidded eyes flew for a moment when you hear the term of endearment, the word rolling off his tongue, pass his lips suddenly envelopes you with warmth in the late, cold night.

"Goodnight, Gavril."

#the bubo series fanfic #gavril game #x reader #partuulla #gavril x reader #this has been sitting in my drafts for some time after i watched manlybadasshero played gavril #then i found the quaint fandom here in tumblr and i #i just had to write something for the rat man #bubo series

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tvckerwash · 4 months

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man, I've always thought that wash was the most 'master chief-y' character in rvb—with carolina also having a lot of the same qualities based solely off of what I knew about him from the games—but now that I’ve read the fall of reach, I can say with 100% certainty that they both take after john.

(utc bc it's another long post lol)

carolina takes very heavily after master chief’s competitive side, and teamwork was not a skill that came to him naturally. there’s a scene very early in the book right after john and the rest of the kids were first conscripted into the spartan program where everyone is split into teams, and they’re told to complete an obstacle course and compete to be the first ones to ring a bell at the end of it. the last team to ring the bell wouldn’t be getting dinner (and for context, these are a bunch of 6 year olds who spent the last however many hours being forced into the same grueling physical activities grown adults are on their first day in boot camp).

john, who was absolutely starving, abandoned his teammates because he believed they were just going to slow him down, and he was right—he was the first to ring the bell, but his teammates were the last two to do so. but, john was punished for doing that, and he didn’t get to have dinner alongside the teammates he left behind (and he was so hungry he even secretly stole some of the food from a girl he was sitting next to while she wasn’t looking).

this experience deeply impacted john, he corrected his mistake the next day, and in a future training exercise done years later, him and his fellow spartans were dropped off in the middle of the mountains and told to compete to get the extraction point, and the last person there was going to be left behind and would have to walk back to the base. I think I’ll let john tell you his thoughts on that himself:

“One more thing,” Mendez said. “The last trainee to make it to the extraction point will be left behind.” He glanced out a window. “And it’s a very long walk back.” John didn’t like it. He wasn’t going to lose, but he didn’t want anyone else to lose, either. The thought of Kelly or Sam or any of the others marching all the way back made him uneasy…if they could make it all the way back alone over those mountains.

They stopped at noon to stretch and eat berries they had gathered along the trail. Fhajad spoke up. “I want to know one thing,” he said. He paused to wipe the sweat off his dark skin. “We’re going to get to the extraction point at the same time. So who’s getting left behind? We should decide now.” “Draw straws,” someone suggested. “No,” John said, and stood. “No one’s being left behind. We’re going to figure a way to get all of us out.” “How?” Kelly asked, scratching her head. “Mendez said—” “I know what he said. But there’s got to be a way—I just haven’t thought of one yet. Even if it has to be me that stays behind—I’ll make sure everyone gets back to the base.” John started marching again. “Come on, we’re wasting time.”

Carolina is portrayed very, very similarly to the way john is above through most of s9, and it’s only when her obsession with beating tex starts to take a priority that she becomes more like john was as a child. In s10 her characterization becomes more juvenile, and that’s where she truly reverts to the 6 year old john who will abandon his teammates because being first takes priority in her mind.

Another blurb of text that I find very applicable to Carolina as a character is this:

“Irritated, sir?” John asked, genuinely puzzled. He would have thought the UNSC top brass would be elated by the victory, despite its cost. “But we won.” Captain Keyes took a step back and cocked a quizzical eyebrow. “Didn’t Dr. Halsey ever teach you that winning isn’t everything, Master Chief?” He saluted. “You’ll excuse me.” John saluted. He was so confused by Captain Keyes’ statement that he kept saluting as the Captain walked out of the room. Winning was everything. How could someone with Captain Keyes’ reputation think otherwise? The Master Chief tried to recall if he had ever read anything like that in any military history or philosophy texts. What else was there other than winning? The only other obvious choice was losing…and he had long been taught that defeat was an unacceptable alternative. Certainly, Captain Keyes didn’t mean that they should have lost at Sigma Octanus? Unthinkable. He stood silently for ten minutes mulling this over.

wash on the other hand seems to take queues from various other aspects of master chief’s character shown throughout the book. If I had to sum up these bits and bobs I’d say he takes inspiration from john’s more serious and practical side, or rather, the side of john that is ‘less human’.

I’ve talked about how I’m not a big fan of wash and locus being foils on chorus because miles picked the wrong aspects of what it means to be a soldier to focus on when it comes to wash, but beyond that I do actually see wash as the more soldier like character between him and carolina.

wash is a character who has a very strong sense of duty, and he takes whatever he believes his duty is very seriously. wash is hyperaware of his position, and while he can—and does—read between the lines, he prefers to keep things simple and straightforward. he’s not a scientist, he’s not a psychologist, he’s a soldier—just hand him a gun and tell him where to shoot. these two blurbs sum wash up very nicely:

John only knew three ways to react to people. If they were his superior officers, he obeyed them. If they were part of his squad, he helped them. If they were a threat, he neutralized them.

“You engaged and neutralized a threat,” Mendez replied. “That action seems to have answered your question, Squad Leader.” John wrinkled his forehead as he thought it through. “I followed the chain of command,” he said. “The Sergeant told me to fight. I was threatened and in imminent danger. But they were still UNSC Special Forces. Fellow soldiers.” Mendez lowered his voice. “Not every mission has simple objectives or comes to a logical conclusion. Your priorities are to follow the orders in your chain of command, and then to preserve your life and the lives of your team. Is that clear?” “Sir,” John said. “Yes, sir.” He glanced back at the ring. Blood was seeping into the canvas mat. John had an odd feeling in the pit of his stomach. He hit the showers and let the blood rinse off him. He felt strangely sorry for the men he had killed. But he knew his duty—the Chief had even been unusually verbose in order to clarify the matter. Follow orders and keep himself and his team safe. That’s all he had to focus on. John didn’t give the incident in the gym another thought.

another scene that I want to share is this one, as upon reading it I immediately imagined that wash’s meeting with internals in s9 probably went very similarly:

Finally one of the officers deigned to notice the Master Chief. “At ease, soldier,” he said. The Master Chief let his arm fall. “Spartan 117, reporting as ordered, sirs.” There was a pause, then the woman’s voice spoke up, “We would like to congratulate you on your successful mission, Master Chief. You’ve certainly given us plenty to consider. We would like to pin down a few details of your mission.” There was something in her voice that made John nervous. Not scared. But it was the same feeling he had going into combat. The same feeling he got when bullets started flying. “You do know, Master Chief,” the first male voice said, “that not answering truthfully—or omitting any relevant details will lead to a court-martial?” John bristled. As if he could ever forget his duty. “I will answer to the best of my abilities, sir,” he replied stiffly.

anyway, another blurb I want to bring up is this one involving dr. halsey speaking to cortana about john, and I feel how it relates to wash is self-explanatory. It’s really only the very last paragraph that’s important, but I’m including the whole scene because imagining a similar conversation between the director and alpha is SO funny to me (insert the gay robot joke lmao).

Cortana leaped to her “feet,” turned her back to Dr. Halsey, and examined the photographs on the wall. She brushed her fingertips over the glass surfaces. “Which one will be mine?” “Which one do you want?” She immediately gravitated to the picture in the center of Dr. Halsey’s collection. It showed a handsome man standing at attention as Admiral Stanforth pinned the UNSC Legion of Honor upon his chest—a chest that already overflowed with citations. Cortana framed her fingers around the man’s face. “He’s so serious,” she murmured. “Thoughtful eyes, though. Attractive in a primitive animal sort of way, don’t you think, Doctor?” Dr. Halsey blushed. Apparently, she did think so. Cortana’s thoughts mirrored many of her own, only unchecked by normal military and social protocol. “Perhaps it would be best if you picked another—” Cortana turned to face Dr. Halsey and cocked an eyebrow, mock stern. “You asked me which one I wanted…” “It was a question, Cortana. I did not give you carte blanche to select your ‘carrier.’ There are compatibility issues to consider.” Cortana blinked. “His neural patterns are in sync with my mine within two percent. With the new interface we’ll be installing, that should fall well within tolerable limits. In fact—” Her gaze drifted and the symbols along her body brightened and flashed. “—I have just developed a custom interface buffer that will match us within zero point zero eight one percent. You won’t find a better match among the others. “In fact,” she added coyly, “I can guarantee it.” “I see,” Dr. Halsey said. She pushed away from her desk, stood, and paced. Why was she hesitating? The match was superb. But was Cortana’s predilection for Spartan 117 a result of him being Dr. Halsey’s favorite? And did it matter? Who better to protect him? Dr. Halsey walked over to the picture. “He was awarded this Legion of Honor medallion because he dove into a bunker of Covenant soldiers. He took out twenty by himself and saved a platoon of Marines who were pinned down by a stationary energy weapon emplacement. I’ve read the report, but I’m still not sure how he managed to do it.” She turned to Cortana and stared into her odd translucent eyes. “You’ve read his CSV?” “I’m reading it again right now.” “Then you know he is neither the smartest nor the fastest nor the strongest of the Spartans. But he is the bravest—and quite possibly the luckiest. And in my opinion, he is the best.”

I’m pretty sure there's actually a joke somewhere in the show where wash says he’s only the third favorite behind tex and carolina, but considering they’re literally the director's wife and daughter I think being third is still worth something here lol.

but all of that aside, I want to end this post with one last blurb because of how it relates to both carolina and wash, and why I think it’s so important that they’re the two freelancers who survived to the end, and how they both take after master chief.

If Dr. Halsey had a mission for him and his team, it would be a good one. She had given him everything: duty, honor, purpose, and a destiny to protect humanity. John hoped she would give him one more thing: a way to win the war.

#mine #this was supposed to be an analysis but im kind of just pointing at blurbs of text and going 'omg thats like carolina and wash'#this has been sitting in my drafts for a week bc i I is i can make it better but honestly i don't feel like it so just take this mess lol #rvb #red vs blue #agent washington #agent carolina #also the text from the fall of reach i used in this post may not be the most up to date version bc it's just a free epub file i found so ye

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