#but i just really needed this to exist

[ronanlynchbf]

tshirt that says NO LIVE ORGANISM CAN CONTINUE FOR LONG TO EXIST SANELY UNDER CONDITIONS OF ABSOLUTE REALITY

#i literally JUST finished hill house a few days ago and i already want to reread. Badly. it's sooo so so soo sooooooooo good <33333!!!!! #also completely enamored by shirley jackson's writing style i NEED to read everything she has written ever like right now.. #opening lines of ALL TIME btw 👆❗❗❗ #r.txt #the haunting of hill house #ALSO i've seen commentary videos on the tv show they made of hill house but from what i remember of it it's SO different from the book??? #i think they were all siblings in the show which is??????? like why would you change that part?? i love sibling relationships as much as the #next guy but i feel like the fact that none of them knew each other was such an essential part of the story like why would u change it.... #also eleanor was like. an entirely different character who was also already dead in the show i believe??? and dr. montague doesn't exist?? #hill house could've been really good as a show idk why they changed it up like that...like was the original story not interesting enough for #you or something?? WHO decided to make that change i just wanna talk 🤨

[inkskinned]

he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.

except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?

at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.

except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.

about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.

he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.

#i used to think it was romantic too and then i was like. now i see it as a HUGE red flag #writeblr #it is also almost EXCLUSIVELY said by immature ppl who think this is normal #fyi even if u think it's funny and ur like 'im an introvert it's just TRUE' like. you need therapy (ily tho) #healed introversion is just ''i would prefer to be by myself'' not ''i hate every person'' ... hate is not normal. that is not healthy #im sorry. i know it feels accurate. but if you're walking around with that kind of rage.... #1. you're making a LOT of assumptions about every single person u have ever met. which is often unfair and unkind #and also usually involves judging people based on their worst moments or little mistakes #2. you are being unfair to the person who is ur ''exception'' #3. there is a VAST difference between ''ur my favorite person'' and ''the ONLY person i like.'' #idk i think this is just a personal bias thing tbh #im sure there are people who have this experience normally #but i have YET to find a man who thinks like this and ISNT absolute DOGSHIT. although tbh.... like. im sure he exists #when u hit like 30 some of the things that were once kind of hot now just sound fucking exhausting. like ''im in a band'' #edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful #once i started believing that people are generally good. like yes i am mad at the world at large #but it's just.... a very hard way to live. you're not a bad person or wrong for the ways other people hurt you and taught you to be angry. #but that anger will continue to hurt YOU. it will punish YOU. it will prevent YOU from making new deep connections. it will protect you yes #but it will also cause MASSIVE blowback. bc if you lose the One Person... your life will fall apart. i know this personally. #i really recommend just trying to be... cautiously optimistic instead. like. yes #people can be horrible and cruel and there are some communities (incels for example) that aren't worth that optimism #but i think like... most people will hold a door for you . most people want to help you find your wallet . #i hope one day you are able to find peace. i hope that rage eventually smooths over. i know how hard it is PERSONALLY #and i know what must have happened to you. and im deeply deeply sorry we share the same wound. #but i promise - sometimes we all need someone else to help us carry the weight. eventually the rage has to die so that we can let help in #i had to spend years biting at outstretched hands. i still often do. im still very wary . and my heart breaks that you flinch too. #here's the thing: i don't blame you. but we were both acting out of fear and pain. .... not out of healthy behavior. and ... change #was needed. i needed change too. rage was useful for a while. then it just left me isolated and bitter. i had to (with effort) #choose to let that rage go. and let people in . VERY SLOWLY THO LOL

[the-kipsabian]

saw a take so fucking rancid on twitter i almost deleted the entire app from my phone jesus fucking christ

first of all ao3 is an archive site. this is like going to the library and saying "oh i dont like this" on every piece of media you find that you dislike and thinking they should be stamped with some sort of a marker just cause you didnt like it

you can always click back and leave. fic writers owe you nothing to explain themselves and their creations. if they have mistagged or miscategorized fics, then i understand, however there are report tools for that instead of yelling at the artist tbh

im not saying free works arent necessarily above criticism. but this is just. fucking wild. its common courtesy to just enjoy stuff (or fucking leave if you dont, the back button is free) and if the artist specifically asks for critiques, then give one - constructive that is, shitting all over someones work is not proper criticism, mind you

i just find it fucking wild people are treating art and archive sites as social media these days like this and everything needs to be policed and ~catered to the algorithm~ like. no. ao3 doesnt have an algorithm. you should be able to fucking tell what you like and what you dont like and steer away from that kind of content and let people fucking be with their art. they dont owe you anything (except trigger warnings i'd argue, but i know some people disagree with that as well for some reason), and imagine how much more energy you'd have if you only engaged with things you liked and spent time looking at instead of going to places where you dont enjoy yourself. let alone spending time telling other people you dont enjoy what they enjoy. what a fucking life

#like what the fuck #where is the common courtesy of fandoms these days im just fucking asking. its ridiculous #the back button is free. shutting your fucking mouth is free. constructive criticism when people ask for it is nice but only then #these are fucking basic level fandom engagement things #am i old or are people just this fucking awful now that these guidelines dont exist anymore #im just. ough #sorry i had to get this out. idk as someone who has never left unsolicited advice for anyone and never gotten it back it just #it fucking grinds me that people are like this now. like fucking wow #ive been here for almost two decades soon and i still know how to behave. yall better fucking learn #im gonna go back to video game sorry i really needed to yell for a hot fucking second #if you choose to reblog this dont fucking clown on it okay. god #night is an absolute mess on main

[redysetdare]

I think i just need to express that the culture surrounding QPRs right now made me think that i couldn't have strong bonds with my friends. Society told me i cant have strong bonds with friends because that was only for romantic relationships. Then i went into aro spaces and this idea was reinforced using QPRs instead of romantic relationships. it was "You can still have strong bonds with people without romance! It can just be a QPR instead!" "QPRs are MORE than friendship so you can have STRONGER BONDS than you would with friends."

it made me think that the relationships i wanted with my friends HAD to be something other than friendship for it to be as strong as i wanted. If i wanted to be the first person in someones life i had to enter some sort of committed relationship. if I wanted someone to care about me as strongly as i did them then it would have to be a relationship that was "more" than friendship.

I thought I wanted a QPR because i was told the only way to get that care and security that I wanted was to enter into a relationship that was "more" than friendship. because friends didn't care that much. because friends didn't live together their entire lives. because friends were never the priority relationship wise. and it took me years to realize that i didn't want any partnership and i shouldn't have to be in one to want these things from a friend. these things CAN be something friends can do. but i found that out on my own. because the aro community kept saying "you want a QPR" when i just wanted a friend who finally saw me as a priority in their life.

#text #personal #aro #aromantic #aroace #aspec #qpr #queerplatonic relationships #queer platonic relationships #tbh i was around when qprs were still getting footing. ppl werent sure how to properly label them #so to avoid allos saying it's just friends the common response was 'its more than friends but less than romance' #as if they were trying to justify it's existence as if we had to have a equivalent to romance to be justified in our identities and as ppl #because being aro made you not be a person. because how can you be a person if you dont love or have a partner #because being aro was sad because being aro meant ou were alone and you shouldn't want to be alone!! #and these ideas made it so that amatonormativity was just reinforced in aro spaces #and it isn't until recent years when amatonormativity started getting used top put a name to the problem #that i really saw ppl start standing up for aros who didnt partner because why are we expected to partner anyways? #shouldnt ppl be whole as they are? #and this is only my experience im not saying this happens everywhere #but this is why i think we need to have a conversation about QPRs and how they are used in aro spaces #because im not the only one who struggled through this #my experience may not be universal but my experience has happened to others #and thats worth talking about #srry im having a lot of thoughts recently

[junotter]

All the jokes about Ken and horses are good but I just wanna say it's such a good parallel to how actual young men get swept into misogyny and the patriarchy.

Like they're told to believe it means men get to be cool and manly and have this power but with that comes extremely rigid commands of what they can be as a man and a cycle of self hatred for never matching those gender roles perfectly. Patriarchy tells men that if they just do exactly what is expected of them, then they get all the "cool stuff" that comes with. That doesn't work though when there's only a small group that actually gets that power, but men will keep trying to fit into those roles in hopes that they can.

In the end there are no horses or the myth men are told, it's just endless cycles of self hatred and ingroup fighting.

#barbie #barbie movie #barbie spoilers #ig #ive got a lot more on how barbie looks at feminism and the patriarchy cause god they did it #not to say there isnt faults such as very little conversation about intersectionality #but i can also understand the impossible task of talking about EVERYTHING in one movie #not everyone will be happy and thats fine #anyway i think something barbie did really well is fight this battle of both wanting so deeply to love (romantically or not) men but also #not dismissing the fact its mens job to solve their problems themselves #that even if women need to be the front runners of breaking the patriarchy men cannot rely on them to solve their own problems completely #also just god im so glad this wasnt a girl boss slay movie #women deserve respect and love and life regardless of accomplishment #we should not have to be ceos and presidents and world problem solvers to gain equality #i can also understand if nonbinary people feel left out/disconnected from the movie #but as always gender abolition and acknowledging the gender binary (ie the one societially impossed) go hand and hand 👍 #just incase cause idfk terfs dni the barbie movie is not for you #barbie literally states constantly that her gender has nothing to do with (non existent) genitals so f off

[cuties-in-codices]

queer sex and more!

in an illustrated medieval travelogue (a german translation of "mandeville's travels"), bavaria/swabia, ca. 1476

source: Vienna, ÖNB, Cod. 2838, fol. 102v

#i feel like this hasn't really been posted on the internet before?? 👀 #and none of the existing catalogue descriptions mention the queer imagery at all (disappointed but not surprised) #nor does any of the secondary literature on the manuscript!! (judging by the titles) #you need to understand my approach for this blog is just to browse through hundreds of pages of random digitized manuscripts #ummm anyways #15th century #medieval art #illuminated manuscript #blemmyes #queer #gender stuff #otto von diemeringen #mandeville's travels #jean de mandeville #The Travels of Sir John Mandeville #nudity #medieval studies #gender

[stbot]

Kit sparring flirting being a brat

#kit tanthalos #jade claymore #tanthamore #kit x jade #willow 2022 #willow #willow spoilers #tbh i missed her being a cocky little shit #glad to see it back #i know in my brainspace that those sort of sword flourishes are impractical and honestly if jade wasn't down SO BAD kit woulda been stabbed #but they're still so fun to see!! #it's official lads i have lost any chill i ever had #this episode this SCENE really just !!!! #i'm so happy that these characters and this story exists in the world #sword lesbians of my gay lil heart #i think i need a gif tag

[the-shrimp-alchemist]

Anyone else think Ed and Ling should've been a little more. I dunno. Drenched in blood during this arc? :)c (for the sake of the blood showing up on their dark clothing let's just say there's So Much Of It)

I didn't draw this for October 3rd btw, but now's as good a day to post as any!

Bonus, by the time they emerge:

dramatic reveal ruined, more at 11

#fullmetal alchemist #fullmetal alchemist brotherhood #fma #fmab #edward elric #ling yao #alphonse elric #i looove drawing blood personally it's just really fun idk #shrimp art #comic #as it were #actually started this months ago but there were a few details i needed to fix before posting #but i procrastinated on them and. forgot. this piece existed for a while lol #i would have added al hugging ed and getting a vaguely ed-shaped bloodprint all over his armor #but i'm kinda sick and i don't feel like drawing him #sorry al you're just very complex #cw blood

[fadedstarpng]

autistic people when there's collectable things with tv shows with multiple generations of them:

#my litte pony friendship is magic #mlp #teenage mutant ninja turtles #littlest pet shop #lps #collectibles #toys #mainly talking about those things but if anyone wants to add other things please do!! #autism #self diagnosis #pls dont take this as generalizing I just really love collecting stuff based on my personal special interests but people who dont #are still autistic regardless also splatoon fixation has returned because of side order but still haven't played it bc I need to finish #the main story mode also got a tiny metal locker bc of splatoon from kmart for 9 dollars and its pink and cute also said kmart bc it still #exists in australia lmao idk about other countries but maybe also nz but not sure!! #edit: i have played some of side order!! its so funnnn

[tricoufamily]

if you're wondering why bob is here it's bc in the original villareal story there was a very minor background detail that diego lobo and bob pancakes dated in college and broke up tragically and that's where the story peaked. so i included him it's still canon

thank you for these it was so fun!!!!!!!!!!!!

i did these in my this is the fall sim style so i'm thinking. if they exist in this universe what's all their opinions on the 'did jacques do it' situation. let's take a look

don: saw a photo of jacques's wife on the news during the investigation. said "whoa mama that's a hot babe!" like johnny bravo and did not read the headline. does not know anything about it still.

vlad: well he's psychic he could figure out the truth if he actually cared. and he has!

olive: obviously respects it. except for the getting investigated part, would never happen to her.

diego: does not think jacques did it but enjoys the tabloids. knows other rich people personally who he thinks have killed their spouses

morgyn: will post things like "friendly reminder that j*cques v*llareal literally killed his wife and is a billionaire so maybe don't go to one of their hotels" on tumblr and will then do a call out post about like a fanfic writer who wrote an unhealthy relationship with more severity

pascal: knows conspiracy theories and this one is bullshit. or maybe it just doesn't interest him as much as aliens and that's why he thinks that

jeb: has a very "well of course he did. them rich folk can do whatever they want. there ain't no hope for the rest of us" while kicking a can down the road approach

bob: thinks he did it. is very alarmed that it was brushed off. eliza's like bob book the hotel and he's like am i going crazy. does anyone hear me.

#olive and pascal do NOT exist in this is the fall strangetown has their own universe but it's still fun #i really need to finish remaking all of strangetown #for the record human vlad works for the company high up he knows jacques. he keeps his feelings on the matter private. #but anyway yes bob and diego. both from small towns met in college. diego was in drag and bob thought he was a woman #then was still attracted to him out of drag and had a months long spiral about his sexuality it was a thing #they just wanted different things. it wouldn't have worked. bob likes small towns. he wanted to stay and have a house and a family #diego wanted the exact opposite. they had to part ways. bob still thinks about him laying awake at night. kind of a lot #bob is like he probably doesn't think about me at all anymore he's definitely moved on. no diego thinks about him a lot too #the ones that got away #ts4 #ts4 cas #ts4 edit #the sims 4 #townie makeover #townie makeovers #don lothario #vladislaus straud #olive specter #diego lobo #morgyn ember #pascal curious #jeb harris #bob pancakes #this is the fall: extras

[egophiliac]

We ARE going to bring up Captain Amelia. You have good taste! GOOD TASTE I SAY! *aka I just rewatched Treasure Planet and got hit with, "Oh yeahhhhh... that explains a lot!"*

honestly, the Meg/Jasmine/Amelia trifecta tells you 90% about me as a person. (the rest is covered by Sailor Jupiter and Sailor Uranus and, uhhh, I'll stop baring my soul to the world now)

and speaking of Amelia, this is tangential, but like -- there's one Twst comic I have been kicking at for a while where I needed an RSA sports/flight teacher and, uh, well

someday I will wrangle this stupid comic into coherency and she'll get to make an appearance (in the background of a single panel, half-obscured by a tall hat) (but I will know she's there and that's the important thing)

#art #twisted wonderland #twst oc #my plan worked i've tricked you all into looking at my anime catgirl oc #she exists to yell at some rsa boys so she doesn't really have like. a character or story or anything. sorry! #(her name is alexandria north and that is what she considers a sporty outfit. that's as far as i got) #this is the one that is mainly about silver and neige having a mutual bluebird friend and i am having terrible trouble making it not suck #which given some of the stuff i post should tell you something about how it's going so far #(it's just kind of an incoherent mess of ideas at this point. nothing specific just ~the creative process~) #maybe the rest of episode 7 will give my brain the kickstart it needs. depends on how that goes i guess #god. the next episode 7 bit drops in (probably) just a few days. #I'M NOT READY #i have simultaneously never been ready and always been ready #i exist in a perpetual state of impatience

[chalkeater]

Relatable

#adventure time #fionna and cake #simon petrikov #deltarune #susie deltarune #myself #fictive #fictives #susart #ikr what in the world. lol. anyway #@ my friends: im ok now i promise. i just find it so entertaining that crossover ins your brain can exist so i need people to see my #documentation #@ p Kris i lpve you and im ok i promise. just come on. simon petrikov and susie deltarune talking #like me talking to Twilight Sparkle is one thing but adventure time x deltarune is for some reason the one that actually makes me go #DID IS SILLY #anyway hes really nice its weird lol #i think i got adopted #also why is it so hard to draw him. wtf

[ganondoodle]

me: finally im able to cope with how much i hate totk and can fuel that energy into other things :)

nintendy: the shiekah tech just dissappeared and no one knows why or cares enough to investigate it lol. lmao. its gone bc the calamity is gone or something even tho it literally isnt bc ganondorf is right there haha lol, stop asking, why do you care. just forget it existed and look at that sexy goatman and glue instead!! glue! isnt that wild?? also its totally a direct, 100% same universe and exact same characters, despite them act totally out of character, sequel to botw-

#ganondoodles talks #ganondoodles rants #zelda #totk #im just fucking!!!! at my limit!!!! #what the fuck do you mean #the calamity is the equivalent of ganondorfs farts trying to wake himself up and you say lololo is gone so the techs gone #then why do some parts still exist huh??????? #fuyking clowns #all the threads leading organically into another game WOOOP NOPE CUT THEM ALL WE DIDNT MEAN TO GIVE IT MEANING LOL #what is ancient energy and whys there a big concetration under these regions including hyrule castle? oh my god is it bc gan is there an- #NOPE forget we ever said that haha lol lmao even #can you really blame me for feeling like im being laughed at #like totk is mocking me bc i care about botw and thought theyd take up the interesting things they set up in it to expand upon??? #and no instead they backpedal like oh no we accidentally made it seem interesting quick get the iron out we need to FLATTEN this bitch #and they keep making it WORSE by insisting that its totally 1000% a direct sequel #just fucking say its some alternative bullshit again #i am begging them to let soemone else direct the next game #bc when the guy makes accidentally good lore he needs to immedaitely flatten all the good stuff when it comes to a sequel apparently

[weepynymph]

I gotta talk about this moment even though it's been discussed a million times

Zuko, opening up to someone about his scar for the first time (from what we’ve seen in the show at least, but we can reasonably assume he hasn’t spoken about it like this since he got it) and explicitly stating that whilst he's always associated it with with failures ('the mark of the banished prince'), he's finally ready to take control and change his life for the better. And whilst he has accepted that he can never change his scar, it’s ok because he still has the power to change his destiny.

And despite this assurance, Katara, the healer, still jumps in and offers to heal it anyway, understanding that this is still a burden she could lift from him - 'What if you could be free of it?'

She knows it won't change his life in the same way taking control of his own destiny will, but still, it's like she can't help but try to ease his pain. Even if it's a pain that's long since become a permanent part of him, something that might seem surface level or cosmetic to others - 'It's a scar, it can't be healed.'

And then we have this

'I've been saving it for something important.'

This. Healing Zuko's scar. A wound that has, for all intents and purposes already healed and is not longer a threat to his life, but still burdens him emotionally. That has come to represent all of his trauma. This Katara considers important enough to use her limited and precious supply of spirit oasis water. In the middle of a war. In the middle of a dangerous journey to save the world in which she and her friends might be seriously injured at any time (including in this scene, where Ba sing se is literally under attack as they speak).

And if that weren't enough

'I don't know if it would work'

Now, I don't know the mechanics of spirit water in the atla universe, but it seems to be pretty heavily implied later in the episode when she uses the water to heal Aang, and for a moment thinks that it hasn't worked, that it's sort of a one-time deal.

Which means that she's willing to potentially waste the spirit water just on the off-chance that it might remove the scar. Which in the context of the wider story seems utterly insane.

But Katara thinks it's worth the risk.

And presented with this opportunity, this beautiful, selfless offer to ease his suffering, even on a purely physical, surface level, Zuko wordlessly submits, and lets her touch his scar.

Now, Katara doesn't know quite how significant this touch is (although she's very emotionally intuitive so I'm sure she has some inkling of the gravity of this action) but we do. We know that Zuko doesn't let anyone touch his scar, ever. So what this communicates to us as an audience is that Zuko is allowing himself, for the first time, to put his complete trust in someone. To be completely, 100% vulnerable with them.

And the moment of touch is all the more significant because, in many ways, it isn't even strictly necessary.

Katara's hands are empty, she isn't putting the spirit water to his face, to attempting to heal it here. And while I'd argue this touch could be a practical one - assessing the damage of the scar with her hands to see how to proceed before she uses the water - the moment after, right before they are interrupted, isn't one of practical, medical assessment, but of intimacy.

The way Zuko waits, patiently, eyes closed, and the way Katara pauses, just for a moment, doing what I can only describe as gazing at him, and that slow blink in the middle- Again, not examining his scar or reaching for the spirit water to begin, but just taking it all in.

It's so breathtakingly intimate and vulnerable - a point of connection between these two people who are supposedly so completely different but are, here, somehow so alike in their openness and understanding of one another.

That Katara offers to heal Zuko's scar even when he's said moments before that he's made his peace with the fact that he's never be free of it. And the way he accepts her offer without words because she's right, part of him does want to be free of it.

It's just an absolute masterclass in creating an immediate and powerful connection and bond between two characters in an incredibly short space of time from a start point of complete opposition without rushing it or making it seem implausible.

#I don't know how to end this is just needed to talk about this scene #they really send me into a feral frenzy #because how could this not be endgame when this scene exists??? #anyway #zutara #Zuko x Katara #zutara meta #zutara analysis #my meta #atla #avatar the last airbender #my gifs

[inkskinned]

this is sort of pathetic, but when you were younger, you were sort of puzzled by the cartoon representations of fathers: how a kid would be outside with a mitt, waiting to play catch.

it's not that your father never played catch with you, but you also didn't like when he did. something about a hard ball coming quickly towards your face doesn't seem exciting. not that you'd ever say you don't trust him. you trust him, right?

it's not like he never tried to teach you anything. or never tried to parent. on rare days, a strange person would walk in your father's skin. bright, happy, magnificent. this version of your father was so cheerful and charismatic that you would do anything to keep him. and this is the version of your father that would laugh and gently coax you try again. this is the version of your father that would break down the small elements of a problem and point them out so you have an easier time with them.

as a kid, those days happened more often. but somewhere around 11, you started being too much of a person, and he was often cross about it. when he'd try to sit you down to learn something, you spent the whole time with your shoulders around your ears, nervous, uncertain. terrified because you didn't immediately understand how to navigate something. worried you will run out of his goodwill and then you will have the Other Father back, and you will have ruined a good day for your entire family. something about you being visibly afraid - it just made him angry. he would accuse you of not wanting to learn and storm away.

on tv, it's not like there's a lot of versions of men-who-are-mostly-fathers. they can be good dads, but usually their stories are not told in the household. so it's normal that your father is there, but he's never around. you know he was in the house, somewhere, it's just not that you guys ever... "hung out". he just seemed to get kind of bored of you, annoyed you weren't made in his perfect image. frustrated with how much energy it took to raise a kid. over time, you kind of adopt a bittersweet band around your throat - he knows nothing about me. he says at least i never abandoned my family.

and it's technically - technically - true. he was there for you. sometimes he even made an effort and made it to the big moments; the graduations and the dance recitals. he grins and tells everyone that he taught you. it almost erases the days in between, where he complains because you need a ride to school. the weeks that go by where he doesn't actually ever speak to you. the times you say i am struggling and he says figure it out on your own. i can't help you.

and that's fine! that's all fine. you can call him if you are having a problem with your car. or if you need a ride to the hospital. he loves playing hero, he just doesn't like the actual work that comes with being a father. and you've kind of made your peace with that; because you had to, because you don't want to live your life like he does; the whole world at a managed distance, a little rotating and controlled orb he can witness and take credit for but never truly love.

as an adult, you are rewatching some dumb cartoon - and again, the child standing in the rain, with a mitt, waiting for their father to come play catch. as an adult, there's this strange creeping dread - this little thing? this little thing, and their dad can't even show up for that? oh god, holyshit, it's not about the mitt, is it. oh god, holyshit, your father spent most of your life leaving you hanging.

#spilled ink #writeblr #:) lol . anybody notice how i write about dads in second person exclusively #me: haha silly cartoon #also me: ): this child is not getting what they need #also btw this is about a father but it might apply to any parent or caregiver #there's a really weird space of like #''this person was technically around me but either ignored me or was actively harmful to me'' #and like u learn this very strange ritual of like... this person is my parent/caregiver on a technicality #that you almost spend all ur time with them like... tiptoeing and acting as THEIR parent so u don't upset them. #like you're 17 and ur mom is suddenly hit by a wave of wanting to talk to you so she's like :) lets make breakfast together :) and ur like #uhhhhhh okay?? bc you feel like this is absolutely going to go wrong and is why u usually make breakfast alone #and she starts being like: THIS is called a TEASPOON ... & u know all this stuff but you also know to just be very quiet #bc if you say like ''mom ive been making this breakfast every day since i was 13'' she would FREAK OUT and be like #DONT ACT LIKE I NEVER DO ANYTHING FOR YOU DONT ACT LIKE I DONT CARE ABOUT YOU. FUCKING DISRESPECTFUL . #so u have to smile like ur a preschool teacher and be like. OH COOL! i didn't know A CUP existed! tell me MORE! :)

[ozzyeelz-aftr-drk]

Posting a butch Saxton Hale doodle from Twitter. Uhhh. Nobody look at me

#I thimk I hauve Covid #i need to lay down #.​for a little bit #guh #tf2 #team fortress 2 #nudity #artistic nudity #art #tf2 saxton hale #saxton hale #saxton hale tf2 #fem fortress #??? #idk #uhh #bare chest #cw bare chest #I don’t really like putting cws for peoples bodies just. existing. but people tent to get weird about it so whatevs