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#but i just. ghrrg i hate this so much i just want something i can LOOK AT and see for SURE that i am something or i'm not i just want
bisexualmaedhros
ยท
3 years
Text
i am constantly trying to figure out whether i am autistic or if my adhd and ocd just interact with each other in a very specific way that makes me relate to certain autistic things
#i am SO FRUSTRATED!!!
#i talked to my therapist about it and her answer was vague as FUCK
#but i hate bringing that stuff up bc i feel like the adults in my life just think i'm doing it for attention
#i sent info to my parents and said i related a lot to many things (esp lesser talked about symptoms like hyperempathy)
#but they were like ''idk it doesn't rlly sound like u to us but ofc u know urself best :-)''
#but like NO!!! I DON'T!!! I DON'T KNOW EHO I AM I CAN'T TRUST MY OWN BRAIN TO BE ACCURATE THERE'S SO MUCH ROOM FOR BIAS!
#BUT ALSO I DON'T FUCKING TALK TO MY PARENTS ABOUT HOW I /ACTUALLY/ SEE THINGS BC I FORGET THEY DON'T KNOW. SO THEY END UP NOT KNOWING!
#but then i have no external record of Me and i have a terrible memory esp wrt emotions
#BC THERE'S NOTHING TO PROVE THEM! THERE'S NO. THERE'S NO HARD EVIDENCE! WHAT IF I'M MISREMEMBERING WHAT IF I'M WRONG!
#and it's a huge hassle to set up a dr appointment and i bet the wait is even longer than usual rn AND i've heard ppl saying a professional
#autism dx can be really expensive but idk how to check how much it would be for me and i don't want to waste my parents' money and AAARGH
#all the autism tests i've taken online i've scored pretty high but again that could just be Other Shit and ik those tests aren't very
#accurate anyway! i mean one of those is how i decided to seek out my adhd dx
#and i DEFINITELY have adhd lmao
#but i just. ghrrg i hate this so much i just want something i can LOOK AT and see for SURE that i am something or i'm not i just want
#something solid can people please stop telling me i know myself best i don't know jack shit
#anyways
#finielspeaks
#sorry folks hdgdv
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