#but i really came to love her last year

[mattodore]

everyone say hi jordan ✌

#simblr #the sims 4 #sims 4 #ts4 #ts4 cas #river dipping #jordan lesaint #echthroi #🦇 #okay so for NOW this is jordan <3 tho this is subject to change... a little funny i'm already thinking abt switching his eyebrows lmao #but that's 2/4 of theo's friends done now :) jordan is the oldest of the group and he's a graffiti (mostly) artist as well as a musician #he's my little art school drop out vinyl record obsessed flower boy drummer MWAH #i should've given him a backpack bc he's always got one around his shoulder it's where he keeps his art materials yk #i also wanna find inhaler cc for whenever i make his apartment #he's either my oldest (inception not age) or my second oldest oc... actually hang on he'd be more like the second oldest or third oldest... #sunny was my oldest but i benched her years ago rip #i can't remember if jordan came before or after theo so idk if he's second or third but yeah <3 wasn't originally part of echthroi #bc echthroi is theo's story obviously but i added jordan to it later as one of theo's friends #anyway............... totally meant to post this earlier but i got caught up watching love is blind #i disliked last season but this one is really fun. my one (1) guilty pleasure reality show. #khadija mbowe put me on it with their ''love is...produced insecure and completely unhinged'' video essay <3 #me promoting khadija any chance what can i say

[pan-gya]

happy birthday to the light of my life!!!! who’s a fictional character hhhhh

Please Reblog

#gray #add #el melloi #lord el melloi ii case files #lord el melloi adventures #fate #type moon #my art #digital art #i love gray so much i drew a bg for her #can you believe it??? #im really happy with how this came out #the left side is a bit ehhhh but overall!! #i feel like ive redeemed myself for last year's portrait #anyways i love you gray #and your atrocious fashion sense lol

[ialwaysknewyouwerepunk]

.

#these past two weeks have been so intense that ive just.. not spoken about it once i got home from work #blocked it all out #my beloved colleague whose desk is next to mine has cancer #breast and uterus. she needs two major surgeries #they just diagnosed her two weeks ago #so we've been trying to deal with that as colleagues and friends #because we love and miss her and i am so deeply sad as well #but i feel like i couldn't process that at all bc two days after the news of her diagnosis i was asked to take on half of her work #on top of my fulltime #which i agreed to do bc i like her tasks and i want to help her and i also know i can do it #but it does feel very off bc i know i don't earn enough money for this workload to be long term and it is def like this #for the coming four months at least #so i did tell my manager that i would like a raise and. that bitch told me to BUY MORE SECOND HAND SHIT. #i seriously thought i saw my life flash before my eyes #then the day after she asked one of my colleagues who's been with the firm for over 30 years whether she was looking for another job maybe? #which caused that colleague to instantly go home in tears and be home from basically a nervous breakdown the past 1.5 week #which is her full right and i support her with all my heart but bc my management sucks it meant that we had to also carry her tasks ofc #i felt soooo spread thin and super super angry actually but i didn't even realise how angry i was until last thursday my colleague w cancer #came by the office. and talked about all of it. and i suddenly realised how sad i was but then also how angry #but i was just blocking it all out trying to stay afloat #bc we told her about what the manager had said and she said “i hope that i get the chance to really tell her how it is someday.” #“because the stress she causes with people can actually kill you. just look at me.” #and the rest of the day i felt so ready to be done with everything actually #but seeing her anger made me see my own anger #and released me of my own pent up emotions bc i had actual leg pains this week and it was purely psychosomatic #i then managed to tell some friends yesterday about what was going on and their outrage spurred me on even more #so today i emailed hr. demanding a raise #doing this amount of work while constantly feeling like the house is on fire while also struggling financially seriously makes me suicidal #and i am not joking #so.. if nothing comes of that im leaving that job and not looking back

[typinggently]

the way this felt like the most genuine thing he's said to her this season, if not ever. 💀💀💀 pathetic little man.

#the boys spoilers #the boys s3 #[homelander voice] hashtag homelight! #it was a short ride but it WAS sweet. #I’m joking. i don’t care what happened. i still have 2 fake relationship hostage scenes in the works. if not more. #either way I binged s1&2 last year and forgot SO much of it #so when those first 3 episodes came out I was all ugh why did I watch it pathetic violence&gore fest 🙄 #but girlies I forgot how much I loved his character. he's soooo fascinating I love his vile little self. #& I love the way he grabbed onto her hand missed a finger grabbed again #he’s really holding onto a thread (the thread was Annie)

[always-andromeda]

Sometimes I remember that I’ve gone out of my way to give love to people who really didn’t deserve it and gosh it really hits me just how much I’ve learned about my own boundaries in just the last year alone.

#˚ʚ meda rants ɞ˚ #like i can’t believe that around this time last year i was literally spending so much money to send a care package to a tumblr mutual #a person who always assumed the worst of me #a person who knew nothing about me but tried to call me their bestie #a person who was trying to buy my friendship #a person who loved dropping my name online only to completely ignore me in groups behind closed doors #a person who shamelessly doxxed me multiple times #i like to say that i’m not bitter anymore #but idk i came across an old ask i sent them and felt so bad for the me from last year #she was trying so hard to be liked by this person #a person who really only cared for people if they provided them with some benefit #i wish i could go back in time and snatch those friendship bracelets i made them #because they really didn’t deserve them or any of my love ;-; #lmao on today’s episode of ‘meda treats her tumblr like her personal diary’ xoxo

[seithr]

Randomly remembered the half-reason i call my oc-verse by the name it has while laying in bed. One-half of the reason i still knew, but I had forgotten what had truly, really cemented it jointly until now

(it was a song from my favourite band I haven't listened to in a while.)

(the song fit so well at the time, still does, that i needed to hold onto it for the main protagonists forever, by partially naming their story in reference.)

Does this explanation make any sense? Does anyone know why I'm tearing up remembering this. Aahh

#(I'm emotional because I've been feeling bad about it all lately. enjoying things I make I mean—art or ocs or frivilous things.) #(So remembering that song and when it came out. That I couldn't see them in person. But i held onto it my own way. As something I loved) #(Something I still do love a lot... Parts of me saying no—you don't hate it. No. I'll help you remember more. I'm a little misty about it.) #The song is just The Killers - Run For Cover. I couldn't see them in person all those years ago—family went without me. #All my new oc rework with Zin and Hunter and Caia were like a year old or so. #It's a little silly. But the character Zin's derived from was a lightning mage so I stuck to it—I like monhun's zinogre for what its worth #So there's recurring theme and imagery. Thunder's not lightning but the sound and the feeling after the flash the flame and strike. #There's that meaningful thought—the story is the aftermath of a big tragedy. It matches what I like in monsters and other chars. #And at that time—my favourite band I missed out on puts out a really good song I download everywhere and it goes like: #He motioned me to the sky/ I heard heaven and thunder cry/ Run for cover/ Run while you can baby don't look back/ You gotta run for cover #And it goes on of course. The rest of the song's still really good. There's more that fits but point is; More evocative imagery. #So there. Why my bundle of OCs—Zinadia Hunter and Caia's story—is called Thunder 20XX. minus the 20XX. That's tongue-in-cheek #About some day I'll manage to make something tangeable or broadly shareable with them. I guarentee this century! #Thunder... oh my darling Thunder. Eight years man. More than that if I really want to count pre-rework INTO the complete original work. but #I like that it's definably 8. I like that I remembered I've always loved them a lot. Always been my thing to lean on even by name... #I need to get to sleep. Ive gotten a little more emotional over one song than I'd rather regularly be. Give it a listen maybe? Goodnight #Armour clanking #I need an oc tag #What have you gathered to report to your progenitors?🎶Are your excuses any better than your senator's🎶He held a conference #and his wife was standing by his side🎶He did her dirty but no-one died🎶 #I saw Sonny Liston on the street last-night black-fisted and strong singing🎶Redemption song🎶 #He motioned me to the sky🎶I heard heaven and thunder cry🎶RUN FOR COVER #What are you waiting for—a kiss or an apology?🎶You think by now you'd have an A in toxicology🎶 #It's hard to pack the car when all you do is shame us🎶Even harder when the dirtbag's famous🎶 #I saw my mother on the street last night all pretty and strong singin🎶The road is long🎶 #I said 'Mama I know you tried!'🎶But she fell on her knees and cried🎶RUN FOR COVER #Just run for cover - you've got nothin left to lose...

[dutybcrne]

Kaveh definitely wants at least one child of his own. Partially to continue his family line, partially bc he himself loves the idea of having a family of his own. He would however like to move out of Alhaitham’s place before he even dares consider getting a partner to begin with. And the longer he stays there, the more stress he feels thinking about it. He even has sketched out nursery ideas and plans on how to raise them all set to go, if only he'd get out of debt fast enough-

Furina also really wants to have a child of her own. She adores seeing the families around Fontaine, and has dreamed a great deal what parenthood would be like. Nothing brings her joy than when children about Fontaine invite her to join in on the little games they are playing, leaving her giddy and smiling bright as sunshine on her way home. Of course she knows that to be a parent, she really has to get her shit together. One can't just rear a child on macaroni and residual payments, after all.

#hc; kaveh #//Mans is stressing #//He’s like ‘I’m damn near pushing 30; I should have my life together by now aaAAAA’ #//Do like the idea of Haitham & Kaveh coparenting though #//Them raising a kid together; be it romantically/qp involved or just like #//Some Full House situation type beat lol #//Haitham does like helping kiddos learn after all. And it would make SO much a lot easier for Kav #//Kaveh would preferably want an even number of kids if he has a partner; so they don't ever feel lonely #//If it's just him & his kiddo; then yeah; he's a little more fine w only one. But he really wants them to have someone to fall back on jic #hc; furina #//She's had thoughts of having children of her own for damn near 500 years #//Which she knew would be Impossible; her role came first and foremost #//But now that she's free from that obligation; the thoughts came welling back up #//It's not entirely why she wants to stand on her own right and get better at so many things; but it is part of it #//She'd love the idea of having her own little family at last #//Though her Salon Solitaire buddies will have to do djbhgjfd #//She doesn't actually know how many she wants tho; maybe one if she's single; but whatever her partner is down for; she would be too #//She would be such a doting mom hjcbffg #//She genuinely wouldn't even mind not having a partner if it came down to it. She will most certainly be able to handle a kiddo on her own #//She thinks that; yet she also most certainly get overwhelmed Real quick at first #//Esp since she'd be such a sympathetic crier when it comes to her babu. & bc she already feels the urge to cry when frustrated #//But she would try her best #//Would absolutely consult with The Gals each and every time she needs anything #//Deffo would be the type to get matching outfits for her and her kid jffghh

[warlordfelwinter]

i started rambling in the tags of that last post and then just decided to make my own post about it but thinking about rain's "childhood" fucks me up especially in light of him being like. not mortal at all. brought into being in some fucked up god blood ritual in a temple, presumably raised there until he could like. walk and then tossed onto the streets to fend for himself until he was old enough to come back home

like the heal memory shows he's had the urge probably since he could think and started acting on it pretty young. probably started younger than that and just not with people

but like. given he had like no good formative influences and no mortal blood to temper bhaal's influence, was he ever sweet? did he ever try to play little games like that with other kids on the street? did he have friends? did he kill them??

i think maybe there was some tiny part of him that wanted to be normal, that wanted to have friends and play games, bhaal's own mortal influence coming back around and being fed by rain watching other kids. but i also think it took him a while to learn to control the urge and i think accidentally killing someone made him take that part of himself and stuff it down as deep as he could inside him so even he couldn't find it. and it only broke back out when orin caved his skull in

#i think it also came up in weird ways when he was busy being evil #he had a fondness for like kitschy adventure novels where the good guy always wins (despite knowing fully that he was the bad guy) #which he would never admit and also lowkey hated himself for enjoying #he's always loved animals #which was his biggest beef with his charge of being the last living soul on the planet or whatever bhaal wanted #like 'killing all the people i'm totally with you there but can i keep dogs around' #he had weirdly crafty hobbies despite how he mocked orin for her art #like he made his own clothes and jewelry (out of pieces of his victims--) #it's a sad about rain morning apparently hello #fel's bg3 #oc: rain #now i'm just thinking about him after the game #fully 130+ years old #just occasionally getting really stoked about some childish thing #and gale 100% indulging it bc he knows rain never had a childhood

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

Just found out my two siblings are in my mom's will, but not me. Also my grandpa has told the entire family about his engagement. Except for me. Also my dad told my siblings that he and my mom bought a plot of land. Can you guess who they haven't told?

#these tags are about to be a massive trauma dump tbh so avoid if you want #when i was fifteen i came out as trans. and my mom was terrible about it. and my dad was up for a promotion so we were considering moving #and i found a list of my moms pros and cons for moving. on the pros was 'people there dont know about (deadname)' #so that was ideal for a suicidal fifteen year old to find. and tonight i just learned that im not in her will #both of my siblings are. but im not. and its just always been like this #im treated like im not part of the family anymore. and it's been that way since i was fifteen #i heard from my brother that my grandpa is engaged. and he told both my siblings about it directly. he never told me #i reach out to my parents. i never hear back. my aprents text my sibling to check on me (sib and i live together) #everything is kind of shit rn. one of my rats is dying. my family doesnt love me. im broke. my best friend and i arent really talking #because he fucked my ex gf and now things arent really the same anymore. strangely enough. he doesnt reach out anymore #so i have no one to talk to about any of this shit #last night i was crying about my rat and i guess my roommate heard it cuz this morning they said #'are you okay? if you ever need someone to talk to who will never bring it up again you can talk to me' #and thats the most loving thing ive heard from someone in months. from a woman ive known since august #im. just. at a loss. since i found out tonight. that im not in my mom's will #its not about money. or assets. its about the fact that im her fucking child and both of her other children are in it but im not #after she dies shes willing to help them out but i can get fucked ig #i wonder if im gonna be invited to my grandpas wedding. i wonder if any of them would want me at their funeral #i wonder if any of them would come to mine

[unamused-kookaburra]

I went over my work besties house for lunch and she introduced me to her friends as her work daughter

#they were all very nice and welcoming #but they all spoke indonesian so i got left out sometimes (they did keep switching to english to catch me up though and i appreciated it) #and at one point when we all kind of split up so they could manage their kids #my besties 12 year old daughter came over to me and started telling me about school. how she was learning guitar. #and that she was starting to collect my littlest pet shops after finding her older sisters old ones #i was a bit anxious going because i only knew my friend and her kids but it was really nice :) #i was the last to leave so me and the bestie still got some one on one time #she did leave to pick up pizza for the kids like 10 minutes after i got there #leaving me alone with strangers #but they were lovely and i survived #personal

[slightlytoastedbagel]

Yuka Shiraishi. btw.

#she has 20 lines at most but i love her #i'd really like for an 5 to have more yuka content... especially since ken is training vbs #ken is working them rough which for people surrounding vivid street (or at least vbs) would seem tough but understandable #but yuka is an outsider. yuka is a caring mother who still supports her daughter and her friends despite not growing up in vivid street #yuka would possibly consider this too much for the moment and try to get them to relax #and. i really want the current vbs arc to end with them relaxing a little #i don't think they'll go straight from “we're surpassing rad weekend and carrying nagi's wish” #to “we're tying ourselves down to this one event when we could go even further” #but they could definitely recognise “we're still kids we have time” #and yuka could be the one to bring that up. radder were all adults when rad weekend happened. vbs are in their second year of high school #and they're talented. so incredibly talented. kohane showed that at crawl green. akito finally realises his growth in his 4th event #toya has just came to terms with his classical music background and draws from it to write songs for the group #and an has had years of experience singing. except she also holds herself back in her want to be line nagi #which i'm almost certain will be addressed in her 5th event. and with yuka being the one who comforted an during lutf (in her card) #well. i think it would be nice for her to come back #especially as she is - again - an outsider to vivid street. she could represent how vbs can go beyond vivid street #another possibility is kohane's father. he sort of just disappeared after sdsc (at least i recall akito and an mentioning meeting him?) #and considering the impact he has on kohane (photography and his doubts regarding her sudden change in early game) #it could be nice seeing him again since with kohane/akito/toya seemingly reaching the end of a current arc in the last year #(ie the kohane and taiga plot/akito no longer feeling like he's behind the others/toya and classical music) #the next step in the group's story could be happening #half of this has nothing to do with yuka fjrjdiejd. i just like the concept of her being the group's link to going outside of vivid street #or going beyond is suppose. beyond the way... #bagel's rambles #i'm on break. watch me draw yuka design

[sillyfairygarden]

gorgeous gorgeous girls who ruin lives for fun (🎱 doodle)

#when i tell you i havent drawn vriska since i was 14. that is ten years ago. #swan this is your fault btw you put me back in the homestuck headspace and reminded #me how mych i love this crazy bitch shes literally my babygirl #i didnt even remember her last name or her horns i had to google pics of her LMAO but the rest came from memory #someone once said my catra design had vriska energy and honestly thays a high compliment #thellos art corner #homestuck #homestuck fanart #hs fanart #vriska #vriska serket #vriska fanart #wwhen i tell you i could not sleep until i drew this #if any of my mutuals see this A. no you dont and B. is this Really the worst thing ive drawn this yr? be honest.

[isleofapplepies]

anyway, did not expect paris hilton's memoir to be such a fascinating and deeply emotional (and emotionally intelligent) read. tabloid misogyny really had us fucking fooled.

#honestly i cant put it down i need to tell you about it #she starts off as a rich and happy kid and then hits her teens and ..... there is sa of course. there is troubled teen industry. #i had no idea what troubled teen industry is #why do people keep inventing new ways of abuse #and it's written in a super readable conversational style and i am kinda in love with paris now #it came out last year and i really recommend getting it but BIG trigger warning for abuse #i'm halfway through and cant put the book down

[hella1975]

need to know ur thoughts on phoebe bridgers day after tomorrow

too many thoughts about it usually i compartmentalise songs into ‘this hits bc it relates to real life’ and ‘this hits bc it relates to The Blorbos’ and depending what mood im in and what’s on my mind i lean towards one or the other, but oh my god???? the themes of conflict and homesickness and a (presumably young) soldier writing home???? that is so applicable to so many fandoms?? ‘and it’s so hard… and it’s cold here’ while im at UNIVERSITY???? insanity i have to skip this song sometimes genuinely

#like the homesickness and struggling is a very broad uni ache but added with the fact that it’s cold? #like it’s such a niche thing that students relate to both bc the uni reality really starts to hit in winter #once the first few glory weeks are past #but also this might be specific to me but my uni accom last year was fuckinf FREEZING #and this time last year was when her version of this came out #and I listened to it on LOOP and for as much as i loved it and have very much settled now #i reallyyyyy struggled in my first year of uni #and this song captures that loneliness and homesickness like no other #BUT AGAIN THE BLORBO FEELS #IT’S LITERALLY ABOUT WAR THE ANGST IS WRITING ITSELF HERE I DONT EVEN NEED TO DO ANYTHING #songs that literally make my heart clench in my chest #can’t believe it’s day after tomorrow season again #ask

[madamescarlette]

You ever have to be like, "no babe you're not bone-breakingly heart-rendingly sad, you just had less than five hours of sleep"? Yeah.

#lack of light november really doing a number on me this year! #this is not a worry-for-me post btw. it's like that comic of the raccoon advising you to shower to eat or to sleep when upset #it's my last full week of being a student going about doing student activities and i keep doing things going what if that's the LAST time?? #which i've been actively trying to avoid doing because when i left my old school i overdid it and i was actively mourning leaving my place #there for the last six months like someone constantly picking at a wound #and while it was the most beautiful time of my life and it might always be i really regret having spent so much #of my final moments there being sorry that it was final because i just grieved it! twice! #i grieved it afterwards and i grieved it beforehand and i kind of wasted my precious time grieving it beforehand #so this time i've been TRYING to practice restraint and not spend my time brooding and just be here instead! #and not say goodbye to every doorway and every leaf and every brick in the pathway until i'm actually saying goodbye #but it suddenly burst into proper fiery colors on all our foliage over the break and i came back and suddenly it was ablaze #with perfect color and i'm walking around this week with my hand on my heart going oh!!! i love you so much #thank you for sending me off like this!!! i loved being here with you!! #so. tis hard not to mourn. but till then there are papers to write and chapters to be read and then girl has to scurry #and write her daily poem before sleep #so it will be alright it will be alright <3 this i believe! #i may delete these tags later because they might be overshare-y or too despondent and not need to be said #but i figure where else can i pour out my heart into a lovingly enfolding void like this <3 #happy Tuesday tumblr i love you all dearly! #thank you for all your tags today btw I will come back and reply to them tomorrow when i'm a bit clearer-minded #thinking out loud

[puppybearuniverse]

thinking about the tragedy that is never truly getting to be close with my family. i feel guilty about it sometimes. but then i remember how hard I've tried, my entire life, to connect. and i remember the things they did to me in return. and i remember that it's okay not to have a relationship with them.

#especially my sister. we were so close when she was younger. #then she fell down the alt right pipeline #then she got better! and we got along really well! #and now she lies and schemes and manipulates like it's her job. almost everyone i know fell victim to her wake in some way #and it sucks you know? because i feel like i knew her heart. but one day she just changed. #trying to kill me for having a friend over while she was at work was my last straw. #i spent years and months begging her to spend any amount of time with me. and when she entered her manipulate era i tried to distance #but i still felt so much love for her. i still felt the need to have some connection. #and then came november. after a month of me being gone - one of the first things she did was try to kill me. #because i had a friend over. while she was at work. #now i feel a dislike for her like i would anyone who acted so horribly. #i feel disgusted when she talks to our mother all sweet like she doesnt lie to her every day. #growing up she was the favourite and anyone can tell. #as an adult she uses that as best she can. #she's been watching total drama lately. i can hear it from her room. it used to be my favourite show when we were young. #i wonder if she remembers. i wonder if she cares. #it's so strange to feel the way i feel about all of this. #i want her to mourn our relationship the same way i do. i want her to remember that i tried and she had every chance to reciprocate. #i don't know. it's all so complicated. and sometimes it still hurts. #wiggle