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latina4bangtan · 5 years

Text

Let’s Make a Deal pt. 9 “Is this ok?”

(Y/N) POV

After talking with Namjoon you had felt a major weight lifted off your shoulders. You hadn’t realized that the fight that you had with him had affected you as much as it really did. To be honest it seemed as though it had taken a big toll on him to....or maybe you just thought it did. That didn’t matter though what mattered was that you both were back on good terms with one another.

“I’m gonna take a shower.”

BOOM! Back to reality. You have got to work on how bad you get stuck in your thoughts.

“Oh ok. I’m pretty tired I’m just gonna go to bed.” You responded to him.

“Alright.” Was all he said and with that he gave you a small smile and walked away.

Walking to your shared room you felt a little weird as you hadn’t been in here for a few days. Getting into a shirt and some shorts you let your hair down and got into bed.

As you got comfortable you realized just how comfortable this bed actually was.

Smiling you say..

“Omg I almost forgot how amazingly comfortable this bed is....the guest bed sucks ass.”

“I’m glad you think so...” you hear him say and you’re surprised to hear what you’re sure was a small giggle.

Turning around you expect to see a normal Namjoon...you know nothing new.

TWAS NOT THE CASE!

What you actually saw was a HALF FUCKING NAKED NAMJOON.

This dude for real just walked in with only a gosh damn towel wrapped around his waste with his hair still dripping wet. How rude. You

swore you just lost at least two years of your life. As much as you hated to admit it he looked good and not just good but damn good....and it made your heart do a few jumps.

“Don’t be so shocked at the fact that your husbands hot.” He said giving you a mischievous smile.

Did you just get caught drooling....yes you did. All that you could do right now to recover from this embarrassment was turn around as fast as you could so your back was to him and hide your shame. You pulled the blanket up to cover your face and yelled

“uuuuuuh GOODNIGHT!”

Shutting your eyes you hoped and prayed you would fall asleep before he actually got to laying down. You again heard him give a small laugh but he didn’t say anything anymore. However you could still hear him going through some things and could tell that he was probably putting on some clothes to sleep in. Though you weren’t going to take the chance and peek over.

Still very much awake you felt him start to lift the covers of the bed so that he could lay down.

“Ok so we back to the normal routine. He’s just gonna lay down and turn his back to me like he always does. Awesome we are in the clear and can now move on from this very awkward encounter.” Your inner thoughts were going 100 miles an hour.

Now what he did next was beyond shocking....now officially causing him to take 5 years off your life.

Instead of turning his back towards you he actually laid facing your back and you could feel him scooting closer to you. He for sure knew that you were still awake.

“Is this ok?” He asked you.

Was it? You didn’t see anything wrong with it so you just gave a small nod.

“Ok he’s just getting more comfortable nothing wrong with that right? He should be going to sleep now right? “ Once again your mind was racing. You’ve never been this nervous around someone before so you didn’t know what to do. After you felt him almost completely against your back you were sure he was going to fall asleep but oh no Namjoon had one more trick up his sleeve.

Slowly you felt him wrap his arm around you from behind.

“What about this?”

WHAT IS HE UP TO! Now you’re officially freaking out mentally. You thought about saying no and pushing him away but before you could even process your thoughts you were giving him a small nod.

“(Y/N) I need to actually hear that you’re ok with me sleeping like this. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable or make you think I’m trying to take advantage.”

Once again your mouth and your brain were not working together so before you’re logical reasoning could take place you said....

“It’s fine”

With that you heard him let out a small breath and relax. Was he nervous to approach you? You felt him slightly tighten the hold he had on you.

“Oh and by the way I think my wife is pretty hot to......goodnight (y/n)”

Why oh why that made you get butterflies in your stomach you didn’t know but you couldn’t help the smile that took over your face. Slowly you felt yourself relax into him and before you knew it you were drifting off to sleep.

—————————————————

When you woke up the next morning you had expected for Namjoon to be gone. Not that he was avoiding you or anything...he just normally left to work before you woke up.

Now you thought you we’re going to wake up to an empty bed like you normally did but no because why would your life be that easy.

What you actually woke up 2 was you aaaaaaall wrapped up in Namjoon. I’m talking your head on his chest arms over him you even had legs on him.

You internally screamed at yourself. Why oh why were you such a snuggler. 🤦🏽‍♀️

He had an arm wrapped around you and he was actually still asleep so maybe you could get yourself out of this situation before he woke up.

Slowly you tried to peel yourself off of him but not before you felt him tighten his hold on you.

“No” was all he said.

Shit. Busted.

“Hmm?? What?” Smooth (y/n) very smooth.

“Stay like this with me.....just for a little bit longer.”

“.....ok”

You lowered your head back into his chest and tried to relax but it was a little hard considering this is the closest you had gotten to him.

“Who would have thought you were such a snuggler.”

“I’m sorry if I didn’t let you get any sleep. I normally don’t get so comfortable with people I’m not really used to.”

“Don’t be ridiculous I haven’t gotten that much sleep in a very long time.”

“Do you not work today?” Way to change the subject.

“It’s the weekend.”

“Never stopped you before.”

“Yea well being the boss sometimes has its perks so I decided to take the weekend off.”

“Do you have other things to do?”

“You really have a lot of questions for me this morning....but yea I have something I wanna do.”

“Oh...ok” You didn’t push the subject.

“I have something I wanna do with you (y/n).”

“Me? What’s that?”

“I know we didn’t get married under the best circumstances and it hasn’t been the....greatest of times since we’ve started this so I thought we just take a day and idk...hangout?”

Dang you were not expecting that but you couldn’t help the smile that was plastered on your face.

“.....I’d really like that.”

“Alright well It’s a date.”

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preppyprincess · 5 years

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No pressure but I'm very interested in your more elaborate opinion of the song 😊 Have a great weekend! 💕

thank you my weekend was actually pretty nice!!

my brain isn’t fully working yet but i really just wanna write what i think now. in general i think i’ve already mentioned that i don’t think the song is as much of a break-up song as people think also bc he’s still dating the person this has to be about, i’m just gonna go through the lyrics bit by bit and write what i think and then do an interpretation and conclusion at the end

warning: this is very long and detailed

[Chorus]I can’t writeone song that’s not about youCan’t drink without thinking about youIs it too late to tell you thatEverything means nothing if I can’t have you?

ok starting off, i like that the chorus is at the very beginning, i think most people agree here. the interesting thing is that the “you” is always at 1 of the subsequent bar, which is the same thing he did in FAIY and there was a lot of speculation about that and different interpretations - the fandom interpretation is that it should be seen as belonging to both the former and the latter line (fallin’ all in - you - fell for men who weren’t how they appeared) while people “outside” saw it as being the close of the first line only.

the reason i’m recalling this is bc i read someone say that the first you can be seen as the start of the second line too and that the second line would be “you can’t drink without thinking about it” (the it would be instead of the second “you” but ..yea. i don’t agree with that)

i also don’t think “everything” is just an empty word that describes everything in his life ever but i’m gonna elaborate on that at the end

[Verse 1]I’m in Torontoand I got this viewBut I might as well be in a hotel room, yeah

i think i’m gonna keep most of my “unpopular opinions” for my other ask that asked about them, let me just say the first two lines are (for me) about the fact that his feelings for this person are what’s on his mind and they’re the “constant” basically, and that’s why it doesn’t matter where he is - bc they’re always there and yeah home is home but you can’t just turn off your thoughts about someone you care about this much

Itdoesn’t matter ‘cause I’m so consumedSpending all my nights reading texts from you

celebrities…they’re just like us lol. what a mood

basically yes this “confirms” my paragraph above, it doesn’t matter where he is bc his personal life is so overpowering

[Pre-Chorus]Oh, I’m good at keeping my distanceI know that you’re the feeling I’m missing

this is the part where i tell you that in order for my interpretation to work, i need to disregard the more obvious interpretation of certain lines and “keeping my distance” is one of them. i don’t know what i think about it yet (wow also sorry i’m writing in this much detail about every single line lel)

“the feeling i’m missing” - i see that as that his life is missing (as in it’s not there) the fulfillment of being in a romantic relationship, this is NOT about how he misses the person this is about, idk why everyone is saying that

also “i know that you’re filling the need for this certain thing in my life” does not mean he doesn’t currently “have” the person? the entire song is not saying much at all about whether or not he “has” that person. for me it’s an acknowledgment of this person’s place and importance in his life, not an “i miss you” line

You know that I hate to admit itBut everything means nothing if I can’t have you

“YOU KNOW THAT I HATE TO ADMIT IT”. this is the line that stands out the most for me in the entire song. yes, this can be a commonplace and they could have just added it bc it fit, but shawn admitting the struggle between his career and his relationship and that he “hates” (ok strong word but even acknowledging that he has difficulties) admitting that his relationship is taking up more and more space and that yes of course he loves his career but at what cost?

also the “you know” is what is telling me they’ve had several conversations about this

[Verse 2]I’m so sorry that my timing’s offBut I can’t move on if we’re still gonna talkIs it wrong forme to not want half?I want all ofyou, all the strings attached

(ok idk why the format is messing up now). anyway i needed to insert this verse as a whole bc this is the most wtf part of the song for me. i mean just read the verse and then structure it topically. it makes very little sense.

I’m so sorry that my timing’s offBut I can’t move on if we’re still gonna talk

(first of all, saying i’m so sorry instead of just i’m sorry makes this seem so genuine, my heart)

ok the timing of the song is off, or the timing of his feelings, idk and idc. basically this is about how he’s holding on even though they’re done - much like the bridge. BUT THEN

Is it wrong for me to not want half?I want all of you, all the strings attached

THIS IS A RUPTURE. this has nothing to do with the first two lines. and in all honesty i think this is the “truer” part and the first two lines were added in when the tone of the song was decided or sth. idk. but since my entire point is that this is not rly a break-up song then i’m obviously gonna lean on lines like this a little more

“wrong for me to not want half” ok for me this part is interesting bc in his entire second album, “half” of this person (bc we’re not ignoring the 99% chance this is about the same person) meant moving on from this friendship-relationship limbo with shawn pushing towards the commitment and there being a sort of back and forth (see: Mutual, LIJ, Why, WYR).

BUT here i see this as a conversation in an already-established relationship and since this song is IMO about the conflict of his private life w his public one and fame in general, i think “half” here means that they’re keeping it so much on the downlow that his relationship is not part of other parts of his life and this is him saying he wants to move away from this a bit, that he wants his relationship to take a larger role in his life (not feelings-wise but in general) and he’s willing to make some effort to make this work (”strings attached”) bc he knows it doesn’t necessarily happen “just like that”

[Bridge]I’m trying to move on, forget you, but I hold onEverything means nothing, everything meansnothing, babeI’m trying to move on, forget you, but I hold onEverything means nothing if I can’t have you, no

ok i don’t have much to say about this. i’m acknowledging that this is in opposition to what i think but since you also can’t really dispute my interpretation of the rest of the lyrics with actual things to back you up i’m mostly disregarding the bridge

INTERPRETATION

this song immediately reminded me of If I Could Fly by One Direction - written by Harry about how he’s devoting himself to someone he can’t be publicly dating and how he’s suffering from the segmentation and how he’s willing to give up his career to be with that person: a conscious prioritisation of his relationship over his career.

and i think this type of struggle is what CHY is about. it’s shawn realising and acknowledging that he is immensely famous and his career is in full swing but at some point in a relationship, you start being so attached and in love and devoted that in the end, what matters (or could matter) more is that one person

i think this entire point is driven home by “everything means nothing if i can’t have you” - i think “everything” is his fame and his career but in the end, it means nothing if being famous means his relationship is taking a bigger hit than he’s okay with (this is for me the logical continuation of FAIY where he’s talking about his relationship being an “away place” from his career for the very first time)

and this is where you can start speculating about why he can’t have that person. dating someone as famous as shawn obviously always requires more effort and commitment and it’s scary to start that kind of relationship - but why is this one this hard? and this delicate? why does it need to be away from his career? why can’t he have both the relationship and this type of career?

i mean yes you can think that “can’t have you” means that the person he’s talking about just doesn’t want to date him but ….i don’t think that

i also love how this song is just so LOUD and UNAPOLOGETIC about his feelings? SM3 was all about the uncertainty (the good and bad parts) and then falling more in love with that person, but now they’ve sort of established themselves as a couple and this is utter devotion? “i can’t stop thinking about you and you’re the most important part of my life”? CUTE AF.

basically what i’m trying to say with all of this is that “can’t have you” is either hypothetical (”this would mean nothing if i couldn’t have you”) or about his public persona (”i don’t like being famous when i can’t be with you and i’m trying to reassure you”)

i tend to think that the “too late” and the love declaration and the reassurance aspect of the song means that this is a conversation after a fight. idk this is just what it reads as to me, i think talking about your relationship’s place in your career is hard in that position and there’s bound to be some conflict and i think that that’s a conversation that shawn has had several times.

he said somewhere that they had the chorus first and then wrote the rest of the song around that, and if you just take the chorus in itself i think it fits this interpretation perfectly and they wrote the vague break-up references around it when they decided that’s the direction they wanted to take the song in. i think it’s also necessary to note that shawn didn’t write this song alone, even if it’s based off his life and his experiences so specific details don’t even rly have to match

ok. this was very long but it’s basically my view of the song, you can tell me if you agree or disagree and what your own opinion is!

#shawn #shawn mendes #answered

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