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#but i rlly think its unhealthy
qualityrain · 4 months
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dude theres something abt firefly wedding. marry ur hired killer so u dont die and the love interest is a crazy yandere but also theyre trying to make it work???? before sakoto confesses that shes been playing along and cannot marry shinpei he was like lets talk because youve been off lately is it because of me i dont want to do something that makes you sad because im bad at reading peoples and my own feelings. like even before this its like sakoto going excessive violence is bad! and the whole would shinpei treat anybody that accepts him the same way he says hes in love with sakoto. that perhaps his love for her is not different from loving a child or an animal. what is love anyway (baby dont hurt me- )
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echo-s-land · 21 days
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Following, "I only realized I have dimples a few years ago" and "I finally noticed I have moles although small on my face":
Something I thought was a pimple is actually a mole
Idk when it appeared bc I really didn't mind much but it has at least been several months
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inklingofadream · 1 year
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part of what i like about dracula daily is that it reveals just how much people's ability to recognize historical jargon and/or recognize that something probably changed in meaning between then and now differs. Like ppl will express confusion about things that i didn't realize weren't common knowledge or that i assumed people would suspect were historical and google. and it changes depending on the term, like "queer dreams" gets less confusion and more in-on-the-context jokes than some of the other stuff
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biolums · 8 months
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rlly kinda crazy how if u think about it 99% of my interests are like. bpd related and when u take away the stuff that i got into bc i was obsessed w someone like… theres not much there lol. and then im not even interested in it even more like what the fuck do i dooooooooo
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wings-of-angels · 11 months
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Fanfiction has absolutely rotted my brain when it comes to horror stories
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poopingonthefloor · 1 year
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I would just like to thank you because your post on the subject of proshipping was what allowed me to firmly take a stance against proshitters. My blog is non confrontational and I don’t want to argue with people so I unfortunately had to remove the tags and block replies on my post when people started replying to argue with me but still it was your post which gave me the confidence to make this post in the first place and for that I thank you.
Although I've been particularly avoidant to any sort of discourse lately, I am glad I could have helped you (or anyone in general) have confidence to express themselves and try to speak out on issues that constantly infect fandoms and make unsafe spaces for basically anyone. Sorry that your post got dogpiled by a bunch of chronically online people LOL! Trust me, those people got literally no argument that they werent CONVINCED into believing LMAO.
#ask#I've been less actively bitchy about it but my stance has stayed the same#adults into that should not be allowed in the internet and they are backhandedly gr**ming children into embracing that creepy shit#and then children (who i dont blame for being into that stuff its not usually their own fault) desensitize themselves and actively LOOK -#-for creepy pe/do//ince//sty ships to ship because children just have a natural desire to “fit in” -#-which some children find that in following a contrarian crowd#so when they see art they like and dont yet understand the issues with it and then see the artist getting flack for it they jump to-#prxshitty defense and then that just causes them to grow up embracing that shit bec they think it makes them cool or unique or something!!!#and then that causes a spread bec then obviously impressionable minors attract other impressionable minors T_T#trauma response I dont doubt is true to some degree and i pity those for that but 1. keep that shit private im sorry but venting doesnt-#-excuse romanticising that shit and basically CONVINCING other impressionable children that its fine when you must KNOW its not okay if you#-KNOW its based on trauma and thats all you have to validate it#and 2. like thats unhealthy on its own right...... but like ok.....#((though i dont promote harrassing kids or telling them to hurt themselves like that doesnt rlly do much esp if theyre already traumatized)#I believe young people like that should try to strive to at least keep that stuff private esspecially if theyre an adult because idk how-#-adults DONT see the gr**my aspect behind it (bec from what ik most adults dont care about being surrounded by minors T_T)
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infizero · 7 months
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cant stopthinking about betty
#^ another post thats rlly funny with my current pfp. canon#anyways its genuinely terminal#i cant remember if ive already said this but i think its cause even tho i know for a fact i mustve watched episodes with her in it#because my brother says we did when we watched it as kids. i had ZERO memory of ever witnessing anything to do with her#other than ofc like. holly jolly secrets LOL but that doesnt count#i only knew of that stuff secondhand during the period where i was kind of just occasionally hearing about the show as it aired when i#wasnt watching it. so basically while i already kind of knew what happened. this is me experiencing her as a character and her plotline#essentially for the first time. and realizing ohmy god shes the best character ever. holy fawk.......................#i only just started my at rewatch and i just started s2#but before that i had skimmed thru a guy's reactions to the full series which led to me watching her episodes for the first time. and MAN.#man. i love her somsuchh oh my god. BETTYYYYYTHAHRAHGHRHGRHRGHRGH#when the character is loving to the point of unhealthy obsession and sacrificing their entire life for the other person#that shit is like cocaine to me#rlly rlly hoping that f&c addresses how crazy and fucked her constantly sacrificing everything for simon is#literally GO TO THERAPY GIRL. GO TO CHAOS GOD THERAPY.#but then again. if she went to therapy she wouldnt be a cool wizard. so maybe its not worth it#also i love a good ''normal average human character slowly becoming less and less human until they are unrecognizable''#serena.txt
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truethes · 2 years
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sometimes ... i think a little bit of possessiveness should be allowed in a ship.
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kethabali · 1 month
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sorry but nothing can convince me its not disgusting to continue posting thg content when theres an actual occupation and genocide happening right now and the least you can do is post about it like what girl.. how do yall live with yourself obsessing over fictional characters and making your whole life about it when 40k people are dead
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genderlessdude92 · 9 days
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Hi, I really love your work! If your requests are open and if it's allowed, can I request for headcanons of Vox/Val/Alastor/Lucifer with their biological baby w reader?? I'm sorry if this is weird I just die for family dynamics😭😭 like, how would they act, would they be present or neglectful, and that stuff!! Ik it's impossible to have a child in hell but HEY. ITS FICTIONAL. It's really your decision if this is super fluff or super angst, but personally I believe it would be angst because it's hell and they are really famous 😭 THANKU
AUTHOR RESPONSE: First ask but urmmmmmm OFC OFC OFC!!! I’m all in for dis req :3 I feel like i absolutely will eat up Al’s part of this post so stay tuned. Other ones are questionable because idk if it’s OOC or not but…I’m just a girl!! >.< (I’m a genderless dude as you can see from the name ^^) I’m sorry i’m not funny- These might be short btw im rushing a little bit bc i’m trying to start a multi-chapter fix yay awesome but uhhh i’m still having fun with this 💋
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AL, VOX, VAL, & LUCI WITH THEIR BIOLOGICAL CHILD
(and reader that gave birth to em somehow <3)
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PAIRINGS: Alastor x Reader, Lucifer x Reader, Vox x Reader, Valentino x Fem!Reader (ALL SEPARATE)
SUMMARY: Alastor, Lucifer, Vox, and Valentino are dads now. Aw shucks. (Headcannons)
WARNINGS: MINORS DNI. Breeding kink, (obv bc Val is in here), Val mention, reader is female because they literally gave birth to them, mentions of pregnancy, birth, Valentino being a weird fuck, Valentino again, unhealthy duck obsession in Lucifer’s area, Breastfeeding, Cannibalism, physical slaps, everybody being nervous shots but Vox, really rushed, lmk if i missed anything pookie (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ)
please don’t steal/copy/translate my work. But thanks for liking it, though!!! (๑ᵕॢ૩ᵕॢ)*౨˚ൗ
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-Alastor is 100% nervous at first since he has to be the dad and his dad wasn’t…the best!! ^^
-But also doesn’t want to back away because, I mean, it’s kinda rude to just walk away from your creation that you INTENDED to make real.
-This gentleman’s baby was not an accident, I assure you.
-Alastor would absolutely dangle the baby off the edge of a balcony just to tease you.
-Also tried to feed the baby devil meat to make it a cannibal.
-Suprisingly worked.
-Um.
-He probably got taught to knit by Rosie so if the baby ever needs clothes he’s on it.
-Cradles the baby during his radio show hours, aw, and if the baby ever cries he immediately cuts to a quick song break.
-If both you and Alastor are like completely booked and can’t take care of the baby, he’s giving it to Rosie.
-Rosie can’t? Charlie.
-Charlie can’t? Cancelling all plans.
-He just cares for his bloodline, yeah?
-If the baby ever needs like a chewy sensory toy, he’s going to try and get one that resembles Lucifer.
-Like and apple or a snake OOO A SNAKE NVM
-Snake is better since it resembles two ppl mwuhehehe
-Alastor would be a great girl dad but in general i think he would be rlly doting to them.
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-Oh, you thought Alastor was nervous?
-Oh, you’re so funny.
-‘Cuz Lucifer is QUAKING once he finds out you’re pregnant.
-and expecting.
-…and that it’s alive and out the womb.
-Basicslly all because he wasn’t really in Charlie’s life that much.
-But you told him that this can be a second chance?
-Which made him cry more than he was before.
-Yikes.
-Feeds the baby the most fine meals to ever exist for a baby to eat, even tried to sneak in some wine in its milk bottle.
-Then earned a slap at the back of his head from yours truly.
-You.
-I see him as a helicopter parent at first, but then is just chill once they grow more older.
-But he’s like, devoting his immortal LIFE to this baby 24/7.
-The nursery is themed ducks.
-Everywhere.
-Sometimes you get dizzy when you walk in.
-He even wanted to name the baby duck.
-You slapped him again, of course.
-This man acts like a 8th grade frat boy whenever you breast feed the baby like he just scoots away gagging.
-Another slap.
IM SORRY-
-One time in bed you guys were like getting freaky or sum and then you but his nip
-“Honey…what was that?”
-“That’s just how it feels, Luci.”
-“…What?-“
-“When i breastfeed B/N.”
-“…Ew.”
-“BITCH I-“
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-Bro is so confident in being a dad.
-The first day after the baby was born he cancelled all his special guests on his show just for the baby to be the only one.
-This man is fucking insane.
-Puts this baby on his. advertisements.
-We’re talking billboards, pop-ups, etc.
-Only lets his supervisor babysit the baby when needed.
-Don’t expect Velvette or Val to even step foot near this baby without Vox in the room.
-It’s like a sibling love-hate relationship :D
-Now i wouldn’t say this baby was on purpose…most likely?
-But honestly, it might happen again because he thinks you’re hot pregnant.
-Who said that what.
-Omg who typed that???
-Fuck this is so short uhhh He like puts on child shows for the baby if they sit in his lap.
-But the baby never ever sleeps in the bed you guys share.
-not in a million years.
-Puts those shirts that look like tuxedos on the baby but they’re just printed on.
-Feeds the baby deer meat.
-Has a deer head mounted above the baby’s crib.
-Takes him deer hunting.
-Vox just needs em to learn early.
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-Valentino was “so, so careful” when you guys did it.
-and this baby was 100% and accident.
-obviously you guys couldn’t abortion because like some health reason.
-Val cried that night.
-It was kinda funny that he was crying to keeping a baby.
sorry not sorry
-When the baby is born,
-Oh god should i write that
-Uh
-He’s probably recording.
-Not posting just like…saving it.
-Guys, come on, it Valentino, you should’ve seen this coming.
-Deletes it later though fuck that’s hilarious.
-He starts whining and crying when he sees you breastfeeding.
-“Your wasting the milk, mi precioso, are you kidding me?”
-He’s like in the middle of being a good dad and a bad dad.
-Suprised he made it that far on the scale.
-whenever he’s busy, he gives the baby to some random star and tells them to bring them back by like 10:30 or smth.
-with a coffee order. Very iconic.
-Same idea with Vox and liking you pregnant, and tried to get you pregnant again but you ask him why he doesn’t have a condom on if you don’t have your pills.
-He gets frustrated when that happens lol.
-Can’t wake up the baby!
proceeds to wake them up each night 3 times minimum
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AUTHOR’S NOTE: zomg this was sososo fun to write <3 But it’s so fucking short and i didn’t even realize until i was done. I’m actually so sorry. I still like these headcannons, very humorous, very real, thank you for asking me to make this because this is my first ask i got, i still have exactly 16 more, so ur just a little lucky duck, asker. Support is appreciated! New multi-chapter fix i’m working on might be posted on Friday-Sunday!! Baiiii!!!!
-Genderlessdude92, Kiki
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master list ouuu
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saeist · 1 year
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it's not living if it's not with you ── s. itoshi
synopsis: if it's meant to be, it will be genre: ex2lovers, arranged/fake dating, celebrity!au, pro!au, fluff, angst with happy ending, sharing a bed, 2nd chances, ... word count: 12.3k warnings: reader and sae aged up 22+, implied sex towards the end, reader has a hint of social anxiety/claustrophobia, i think sae is a little ooc in some scenes, lmk if i missed some notes: THERE YOU HAVE IT SAEISTS.. MY 1K SPECIAL!! THIS IS THE SUPER SECRET SAE FIC I'VE BEEN TEASING EVERYONE ABOUT FOR LIKE A WEEK NOW AND IT'S FINALLY IN FRUITION! <3 here's a lil sae brainrot to show my gratitude to you guys ^_^ fellow saeists who also consume an unhealthy(?) amount of sae content...... this fic is also dedicated to the loml my bae aeri @saerins for taking ur time of day to beta-read and to my angel baby sage @invsu as well <33 ilu guys extras: i made a playlist for this bc i am insane like that and without further a do.. sit back, relax and enjoy! lmk what u guys think either in the tags or comments bc i rlly worked hard on this for like a week and i jus couldn't stop writing! talk abt a sae earworm... ++ if u guys find theres a lot of the 1975 references.. its bc i was listening to their songs as i made this lawl .. tmi!
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001.
you didn’t really put into consideration how awkward it actually was to be working on a modeling gig with your ex boyfriend.
the pay was obviously really good that’s why you even agreed to book it in the first place, especially since it was for a famous luxury brand and their fragrance line
so imagine your horror when you walk into set and see your ex posing for the cameras.
you silently hoped that it was just his solo shoot and not with you because your manager did mention that you would be having a partner for this photoshoot
the photographer greets you with a hug and compliments your outfit for the shoot. a white, sultry open neckline dress. the theme of the shoot was it was set on the beach with a sunset background
he instructs you to lay on the makeshift sand and tells you to start posing for your solo shots.
after a couple of clicks, the photographer compliments you on your professionalism on set and then calls your ex boyfriend.
“sae! time for the couple shots i told you about” the photographer calls out to sae who was on his makeup chair. your eyes widened in realization that he was, in fact, your partner for today’s shoot
you tried to look at your manager for some help but it was no use. your manager was busy talking to other people on set. you can feel your heart beating faster by the minute as sae walks closer to you
he was wearing something similar to what you were wearing. dress pants and a white oversized unbuttoned polo. his exposed toned abdomen was probably the main highlight of his outfit with it glistening under the studio lights. 
you bit your lip and looked away. sae has always been eye candy, there was no denying that. you were surprised yourself when you managed to bag him during his rookie days, but now that he was almost, if not an A list celebrity with his elite status in the world of football, you can almost say that itoshi sae was totally out of your league
you come back to your senses when the photographer claps his hands and muses how you and sae have insane chemistry that he has ever witnessed. you let out a little huff at the comment.
‘if only he knew’ you think to yourself, avoiding sae’s gaze as much as possible
the shoot starts and the photographer instructs sae to hover over you while holding the perfume bottle. sae nods and does what he’s told, he’s a professional after all. he wouldn’t let his personal feelings interfere with his work. that was the golden rule in the industry
you locked eyes with sae for the first time in years. he still had those fiery teal eyes that gets you weak in the knees each time. your eyes slowly dart from his eyes to his lips.
“keep doing that y/n!” the photographer cheers, clicking away on his camera. did you do something in your past life that you would inevitably end up in an awkward situation like this. a situation wherein you and your ex lover, in a position where you two are posing like an actual couple
your eyes flicker back from sae’s lips to his eyes again. for a second there you thought you felt a spark, a connection, an old flame that has been rekindled at that very moment.
til it all comes back to you in a flash
you forgot you hated him. you hate itoshi sae and you could’ve sworn itoshi sae hated you too. 
the bitter taste is still in your mouth after all these years. how could you forget the man who broke your little heart in two?
it was childish really. looking back at it now, where you were merely just starting out as a rookie model and sae being the same, a rookie at his profession. just two kids having a similar situation in two whole different industries. it was hard not to get entangled.
you were always known to be sae's long time lover. you were always supportive of his games. present whenever you can, sitting at the exclusive VIP section of the stadiums, wearing his number on your back; and if you weren’t able to attend due to your own schedules, you would still manage to find the time to support him. may it be posting an instagram story that you were watching him on your phone while you were getting your makeup done or wearing his jersey on the day of the game
sae was the same. he would always be seen wearing the stuff from brands you’ve modeled for. from jewelries to exclusive clothing lines, sae would always be seen wearing them, his silent way of showing support in your own craft. 
you were proud of him, and he was proud of you too.
but as all things are, good things come and go. even in the most unexpected times.
there were already rumors circulating that you and sae were ready to tie the knot, some news outlets even stating that maybe you two have gone ahead and tied the knot at some island during your secret little rendezvous. (having been caught going to santorini for more than multiple occasions)
the public has always been supportive of your relationship throughout the years. even earning the title as the nation’s sweethearts with how they’ve seen your relationship blossom from puppy love to what they call as “true love”
with the news that the nation’s sweethearts have parted ways, the public was as heartbroken as you. 
sae suddenly called it quits after almost five years of dating. it was after he has been taken under the wing of real madrid’s division A where his career as a midfielder really took off. to make matters even worse, he broke it off at the same place he claimed you as his.
since then, you’ve sworn to hate him. you’ve resented him. you felt like all those years that you two have built was nothing. you couldn’t even believe him at first when he spat out the words “we’re over” like it was nothing. 
five years, five years worth of unforgettable firsts. five fucking years to unlearn everything.
you were absolutely crushed back then. you even took a hiatus with everything going on in your life. you were a mess. you actually can’t believe sae had no remorse over this. were the five years you were together nothing for him? all those tears you two have shed, the firsts of everything, all those precious memories, were they all nothing? 
it hasn’t even been a year or so but it seemed like sae already moved on, which added more salt to your already open wound. he was flourishing with his career while all of this was going on. sae has been photographed multiple times leaving clubs with lipstick stains all over his neck. 
it stung of course. seeing him move on with his life as if he didn’t just ruin yours. that very night, you swore to yourself that you will never forgive itoshi sae for what he did.
never again would you open your heart to someone like itoshi sae.
itoshi sae, the man who broke your heart into two.
“earth to y/n?” the photographer snaps his fingers in front of you, breaking your little trance.
you apologize to the photographer, your cheeks heating up at the realization that you really got lost in your thoughts the moment you’ve met eyes with sae.
“as i was saying,” the photographer eyes you and sae, “the shoot is over. well done” he bows, motioning the people behind the scenes to clap for you and sae
almost immediately you stood up from your awkward position from sae. intentionally avoiding his hand that was held out for you to take. (you hate how he was still a gentleman to you, even after all these years)
you look around for your manager and strut towards him.
“we’re leaving. now” you say with no emotion in your voice, even walking farther ahead from your now confused manager. 
he takes a look around on what could’ve made you pissed off but sees no one but itoshi sae in the flesh. 
“but y/n, itoshi sae is here-” your manager gets cut off when there was a loud slam of a door nearby. he winces when he realizes it was you. he turns around and bows his head at the people on set.
“i apologize for y/n’s actions” 
with that, your manager runs after you.
sae could only stare at your direction with mixed feelings. a part of him was relieved that he got to see you again after all these years, yet he doesn’t understand why he was feeling off to find out that you still resented him. i mean, that was what he expected for his own actions all those years ago.
with a click of a tongue, he goes back to his own manager so they can finally go home after a long day.
you don’t even know why you were crying. tears blurring your vision as you try to find the exit out of this damned building.
you harshly wipe your tears, opening the last door to your left. you were met with the harsh, cold air of japan. you weren’t looking where you were going, barely even noticing that someone was by the door til you bumped into them.
the steel floors were making it hard to walk in your heels. so when you bumped into the said stranger, you lost your balance. 
the stranger had quick reflexes. they immediately caught you by your waist and your hands flew to their chest to keep yourself steady. you looked up at the stranger to apologize only to meet eyes again with the same teal eyes that belonged to no one other than sae fucking itoshi
you don’t know how long you two have been in this position until you see a bright flash in your peripheral vision.
you have just been papped by paparazzi with your ex boyfriend and sworn enemy, itoshi sae.
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002.
the headlines in both social media, news outlets and the such were exactly how you expected it.
it was crazy. 
the general public going wild, thinking that the once famed couple were now back together after how many years.
your phone was blowing up with emails upon emails. calls from friends and relatives to confirm the news themselves that you’ve been seeing sae again. you look at your manager beside you apologetically as he receives another phone call from what you think is another e-news outlet asking if the rumors circulating were true.
you have been summoned by your company for an emergency meeting as the whole situation was getting out of hand.
that was when you realize how big of a name itoshi sae was after all these years of blocking his name on twitter.
your PR team is currently a mess. they are currently working their asses off to put out a good story for your sudden reunion with the famed midfielder. 
“how many times do i have to tell you to be careful being papped after a shoot?” the head of your PR team, pinches the bridge of their nose. clearly this wasn’t the first time around 
“i was!” you defend yourself, “i didn’t even know it was him til i looked up..” you murmured
your manager facepalms at your response. how did you not know it was sae?
“so what i’m getting here..” the head puts their glasses on the table, “you didn’t “know” that it was the itoshi sae, your partner for this specific photoshoot, the famed midfielder of real madrid, itoshi sae?” they quote, looking at you like you just grew another head
you nod in content, “exactly” you grin, putting your thumbs up. in hopes it raises the mood. (it doesn’t, unfortunately)
“y/n, i hope you know this isn’t just something we can brush under the rug. this is not the same situation with yukimiya kenyu where you two were caught being cozy in his car” 
“yuki was literally just driving me home! and we’re close friends!” you defend yourself, yet again. 
“exactly! yukimiya is a close friend! while itoshi sae is not. that’s why this is such a big deal!”
you slump back to your seat. okay, maybe they were right. this was a lot harder to get around with especially since the public knows about your past relationship.
“luckily for you, we have talked things out with itoshi sae’s management,” it was your manager’s turn to talk. he stands up from the seat beside you and walks over to your PR team’s head. they exchange glances before nodding.
“we have come up with a way that this whole issue will be over soon” your manager starts. 
as if on cue, the doors of the meeting room suddenly open. you take a look on who could be entering this sacred room this late. surely it couldn’t be more of your PR team as they were all already present in the room. 
there stood with their hand still on the doorknob is no one other than sae, with his manager right behind him.
your jaw drops as you put two and two together.
you whipped your head towards your manager and the head of your PR team in both horror and disbelief.
no, it can’t be…
“you two will now be in an arranged relationship for the meanwhile. until your situation dies down” sae’s manager finishes, taking a seat next to sae, who took the seat next to you.
you could see your manager squeeze his eyes shut, knowing where this is going. you were about to have a fit right here right now.
“WHAT?!” you let out a loud scream. the whole floor probably heard you. 
sae also winces at how ear-piercing your scream was.
you abruptly stood up from your seat, snatching your purse from the table and stomped out of the meeting room. not forgetting to slam the door shut on the way out.
immediately you called up your two closest friends, reo and yukimiya to meet you at your apartment ASAP.
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003.
“so you’re telling me– us,” yukimiya pauses, looking between you, who has mascara running down your cheeks and reo, who was busy rubbing circles on your back as he hands you another tissue for you to blow your nose on, “that you are going to be in an arranged relationship with your ex, itoshi sae.. am i getting that right?” yukimiya confirms, waiting for your response
you nod before blowing your nose and throwing the now used tissue on the rising pile of tissues behind you.
“this is the worst day of my fucking life” you cried out, reaching out to reo to cry on his shoulders.
“oh, y/n” reo sighs, pulling you into his embrace as you cry your eyes out. 
you pull away from reo’s embrace, “i mean, why him, why now?!” you rambled, words getting choked up.
both reo and yukimiya could only frown. after all, even with their power, money and status, there was nothing they could do to help with your situation.
your doorbell suddenly rings, catching all three of you in surprise. who could be at your door right now?
yukimiya took the initiative of opening the door, only to be met with the eyes of the itoshi sae. barely noticing your manager behind him.
sae raises his eyebrow at the man in front of him. who was he and why was he at your apartment?
“yukimiya-san! i didn’t know you were over..” your manager sheepishly greets yuki, trying to break the growing tension between him and sae.
“who’s out there, yuki?” you croak out, trying to take a peek at the door from reo’s shoulders.
“it’s me, y/n” you hear your manager call out. you look at reo in confusion. what was your manager doing here?
gradually, you slowly stood up from your kitchen island and walked over to your front door.
now, you just expected a scolding from your manager from your little fit back at the company, that’s why he was at your place or so you thought. what you didn’t expect that you’d see itoshi sae again but this time, in your own space.
“have you lost your fucking mind?” you shot a look at your manager, who only winces as a response. 
“y/n- i can explain-“
“i made him take me here” sae speaks up for the first time. you felt your breath hitched. it’s been so long since you last talked to him, let alone heard him speak. (you’ve done everything you can and blocked every single thing related to sae. that meant interviews, news articles, you name it, you had his name and everything blocked and muted)
sae invites himself inside your apartment with your manager following suit as you stand there at your front door, stunned. 
reo is equally as shocked as you are when he sees itoshi sae casually walk to your living room as if it was his. before reo could open his mouth to say something, you come running in, fuming.
“who the fuck told you you can come inside MY house” you spat. your attitude turning a whole 180. 
sae only raises an eyebrow at you. “our team” he casually says. he then looks at your manager and cocks his head towards your direction. like he was trying to get your manager to tell you something.
“what now?!” this time it was your manager’s turn to get yelled at by you. he winces again before checking for something in his ipad.
“since you um.. walked out at our meeting earlier today… both managements has come to terms that you and itoshi sae would be living together for the meantime”
silence fills the room, the entire apartment if we were being honest
your vision goes dark, the next thing you know and you black out.
as you slowly regain your consciousness, you hear some people talking. well, to you it sounded like they were slurring because you couldn’t really comprehend what they were saying. slowly, you open your eyes. the first person you see is a frantic reo who seemed to be fanning your face with yukimiya holding your hand
“where am i?” you grunt, feeling some dull ache on the back of your head and lower back. 
“you fainted” sae points out. staring at you who was on the ground. you sat up and stared at sae, wide eyed. “what the hell is he still doing here?!” you ask in distraught. you thought everything prior to this was all just a fever dream, or a nightmare as you’d like to call it
your manager, who was getting you a glass of water comes running to your aid. he crouches and tells you to drink up- to which you do.
“we were discussing your current situation with itoshi sae until you fainted… ” your manager starts, you choke on your water after hearing those words but thankfully didn’t start a coughing fit. you motioned your manager to continue so that you’d finally hear the end of this dreadful moment
your manager's eyes flicker between you and sae, “we’ve come up with an agreement that until the time being, itoshi sae would be living with you and you’d market yourselves as a couple. sae has already consented and agreed with the contract and your PR team as well…” he finishes, clutching his ipad close to his chest
reo, who was listening intently, felt like it was unfair for you to be in this type of situation regardless if it was an order from your company
“isn’t unfair for y/n though? she herself didn’t consent to this contract right? doesn’t this violate her own rights of code of ethics?” reo interferes, giving your manager a look. you look at reo and smiled. maybe you’ll ask him to contact the finest lawyers of japan that he knows after this
your manager was about to speak up but sae beat him to it.
“i was the one who suggested this whole setup, not their company. so technically, this isn’t “violating y/n’s rights of code of ethics” as it’s not even printed on a contract because simply, there is no contract” sae states, mocking reo’s tone of voice, giving him a side eye before turning his attention back to you. 
this time it was yukimiya who steps in. he turns to sae with his eyebrows raised. “isn’t there another way to get around this? not just by your means?” yukimiya pauses, pushing his glasses up, “i mean, why does it have to be like this where you’ll live with y/n for an issue that could be squashed with just a single article denying your relationship or involvement with y/n?”
sae sits up straight, staring yukimiya down with an icy stare. “this doesn’t concern you”
yukimiya and reo both stand up, “actually it does. y/n is our friend” reo hisses, glaring at the red head who merely just yawns and rolls his eyes.
was sae even taking this seriously? 
sae sighs, a bored expression on his face. “this is matters between me and y/n only”
finally having enough of his bullshit, you got up from the ground and walked in front of sae.
“what exactly are you planning, itoshi sae?” you narrow your eyes at him. this was the first time in years you’ve looked at him. you note how appearance wise, he hasn’t changed one bit. 
sae chuckles a bit, catching you by surprise. what’s so funny?
“drop the formalities, y/n. you know me better than everyone else in this room” he scoffs, eyeing you from head to toe.
sae won’t lie. he thinks you were still beautiful the day he left you. to him, you were always the prettiest in the room and from the way his heart raced after seeing you for the first time again in years, he knows himself that thought stayed the same.
he watches your eyes soften for a second before it goes back to your signature glare.
“actually, I don't,” you say dryly, crossing your arms. “so, tell me. what exactly are you gonna get out of this?” 
sae sighs. he doesn’t know himself either but he wasn’t just about to say that out loud. he doesn’t know what got into him all of a sudden. was it because he was curious about how you were doing? was he intrigued? did he somehow miss you all of a sudden because he saw you again?
a part of him always longed for you even after you two have gone your own separate ways. it was hard not to, considering you have spent a chunk of your lives together. not to mention, you two grew up with each other and built blossoming careers together hand in hand. 
it was only until he finally got recruited for division a of real madrid where he thought it would be best if you guys would stop what you have in order to be the best version of himself— wrong. 
he realized he fucked up that maybe that wasn’t the best option when he realized he needed you more than ever. you were his best support system. you were always there with him during the hardest times holding his hand but it was already too late. the damage had been done and it was irreversible. 
the day he broke up with you, or the day he fucked up everything was also the last time he ever saw or heard from you ever again. 
sae tried. he tried and tried and tried to reach out to you. he tried searching for your socials, your contact information, literally everything he can get his hands on. but even with his power and money in the world, it was still not enough to find you.
the only updates he had of you was the ads that were plastered all around social media and in the busy shopping districts of the cities he’s in. it was almost like a constant reminder of what he lost. 
so shocked was an understatement when you were his partner for the commercial shoot his manager had booked him for some random luxury brand. 
after all those years, he found you again.
to say the stars were on his side when you two got papped by the paparazzi is a bit selfish on sae’s end. as much as he fucking despises the paparazzi as they tend to ruin things for him, he’s quite glad that for once that they did something right.
they brought you back to him.
so sae couldn’t just let this opportunity of a lifetime slide. even if this so called “scandal” could easily just be cleared out with a simple denying of such rumor. but sae couldn’t just let this end like that. 
he wants to fix everything he broke. sae wants another chance.
“this is pointless” you deadpan, after waiting for sae to speak. he was just sitting there, staring right back at you for god knows how long that you begin to become conscious.
sae looked like he just snapped out of his train of thought as he shook his head before clearing his throat. 
“it’s a win-win situation for both of us” sae blurts, “you get more publicity out of this–”
yukimiya and reo both looked at him like he was crazy.
“excuse you— with or without you, y/n is already famous. hell, you don’t even know how many brands are waiting for her to reach back at them!”
“do you live under a rock or something? how do you not know y/n is one of the, if not the number one top model of the country?”
you were secretly thankful that you called both yukimiya and reo beforehand. not only you got an ego boost, but it gave sae a taste of your own reality that you are where you are now because he left you
a small smirk tugs on your lips when sae frowns. you watch him chew his bottom lip, a telltale sign that he was thinking of something to save his ass
“well, if you aren’t gonna get something out of this.. i have” you say, catching everyone’s attention, including your own manager.
your manager looks at you with his head tilted to the side. mouthing “what do you mean?”
“i’ll only agree to this if after this whole scandal is over, i don’t ever want to see you again” you propose to sae. it was only fair for it to end like this as one, he was the one who suggested this idea in the first place. two, you can never be too complacent with sae who apparently has no motive regarding this. this was sae we’re talking about, he’s bound to plot something and three, you can finally find the answers you’ve been yearning for after all these years. might as well use this as an opportunity to get your well deserved closure.
there was a glint of hope in sae’s eyes.
“deal”
you hear yukimiya and reo yell a bunch of lines like “seriously y/n?” but all you can focus on is sae who’s also looking right back at you.
your manager claps his hands in joy, immediately dialing your company about your decision. sae takes this time to call his own manager to probably tell him to bring his stuff in. 
did you make the right decision? you’re not too sure. only time can tell.
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004. 
today was the first day of you officially “dating” sae again.
also the first day of living with sae, for the meantime
just a little after you’ve come to an agreement with sae with the set up of your rekindled “relationship”, both managements didn’t waste a single second on confirming the news that the nation’s sweethearts have gone back together
needless to say, both of your names are trending and is the current talk of the town
so your first agenda (from both PR teams) is that you both post strikingly similar instagram stories as if you were together the night prior. (in which, you two were.. force binded by a non-existent contract)
it was a good thing that you chose an apartment that had a spare guest room because god forbid you’d even dare to sleep in the same bed with your ex. 
you didn’t give sae a warning that you were already gonna post something. just a quick snap of your window, that holds the view of shibuya, with a little sunlight peeking through. you captioned it with a little “good morning indeed” with a cheeky emoji just to spice things up. 
sae, who was in the next room, was casually scrolling through instagram when he sees that you posted a new instagram story. he clicks his tongue in annoyance at the fact you didn’t even give him a heads up. quickly improvising, he took a mirror selfie from the vanity mirror that you have around in your guest bedroom. 
you started your day with making your own breakfast. not even bothering to call sae. hell, he can starve for all you care. after all, he was not your responsibility. you only agreed to do this because frankly you had no other choice from your company.
while waiting for your eggs, it didn’t take you a while to also notice that sae already posted his part of the agenda. thinking of it as nothing, you innocently clicked on his profile. his story loads and wow. resonating with your caption, good morning indeed!
sae posted a shirtless mirror selfie. he was still under the covers but made sure his torso was seen on the mirror. 
“take a screenshot, it’d last longer” sae says flatly, moving past you to your fridge. you jolt in surprise, almost dropping your phone in the process. “what the fuck!” you yell out, a hand over your chest. 
you hear sae chuckling behind you and the fridge opening
“you got all that money stocked up somewhere and yet you don’t even have groceries?” sae comments, noting your almost empty fridge. there were only some milk boxes and some of those edible collagen jellies that help you with swelling when you have early morning shoots and the such.
sae takes the last chocolate milk box you had that was hidden away at the back of your fridge
“well, my manager does it for me and i usually eat at reo’s or yukimiya’s– is that the last of my milk?!” you pried your eyes off your phone to see sae casually sipping on the last milk box you were saving
“so?”
“that’s mine” you argued, getting up from the kitchen island to snatch it from sae. you stomp over to him and tried to swipe it off his hands. unfortunately for you, sae is an athlete and that meant he had reflexes like no other. he raises his arm high just before you were able to grab the milk box from him.
“sae, give it back” you grit your teeth, standing on your tippy toes, trying or attempting to take the milk box from sae’s hold but the height difference is just something else. 
sae leans down and gets all over your face. “come on, you can do it,” he teases, eyes fixated on yours. 
this feeling almost felt too familiar. almost like a wave of nostalgia just hit you in the face. the memories you’ve been trying to suppress all coming back 
you snapped out of your little trance when you realized the position you two were in. 
“my eggs are burning” you lie, leaving sae dumbfounded. you scurry off to your stove to finish what you were cooking while sae goes and sits on your kitchen island. 
he watches you plate your breakfast and sit on the other end of the kitchen island. you actually felt him staring but chose to ignore him. the sound of his stomach grumbling breaks the awkward silence.
“where’s my breakfast?” he asks, voice small
you shrug, “i don’t know”
“you didn’t make me one?”
“why will i?” you raise a brow, happily munching on your bacon while sae could only look at you in disbelief.
later that day you two had your own schedules. he had practice and other stuff to do while you had another meeting about different commercial offers and a lunch date with reo and yukimiya just like you promised the two.
you got home later than sae. you were about to grab some water from the fridge when you notice that it was fully stocked with groceries. you can’t help but smile a little at the gesture. 
you did your usual night routine before getting comfy in bed. just before you were about to hit the hay, you don’t forget to send sae a quick message, thanking him for the groceries. 
[11:43] you: thanks for doing the groceries ig
[11:44] sae: i couldn’t just let myself starve here, can i?
you rolled your eyes at his reply. he’s still so sarcastic even after all these years
[11:45] you: whatever 🙄
[11:46] sae: i also restocked that milk you love so much. call it truce from earlier today
[11:46] you: who told you it was my favorite? 🤨
[11:47] sae: gut feeling, call it old habit
you raised a brow at his text. what did he mean by that? before you could type your reply, your phone notifies you that sae sent another message
[11:49] sae: jk. your manager told me
you didn’t realize you were holding in your breath. you let out a sigh of relief after reading his message. you were not gonna let him get under your skin. not anymore
you ended up not replying to him. instead, you shut your phone off to reflect on today’s events, hoping that this all ends soon. your phone suddenly dings again. it was a notification from sae.
[11:55] sae: i’m going to sleep now. goodnight, y/n
it’s officially been a week of living with sae and pretending to be a couple in front of the cameras and the public. to think you’d even last this long is an understandment on it’s own.  
for this day, both managements wanted you two to be seen out and about in public doing whatever you two wished to do. 
you were debating on what you two should do that won’t involve much physical contact like going out for shopping because that only meant that you two would be forced to hold hands which is something you don’t want to do for obvious reasons. you’d rather die than to be papped with sae holding hands
“what do you want to do today?” sae asks from the couch. you two were already all dressed up. intentionally matching your outits just for the sake of it. sae was wearing a maroon turtleneck with holes in them with a white long sleeve shirt underneath and some track pants? you don't question his outfit much further because why would you exert the effort to do so? 
you were wearing something similar. a maroon crop top with some leggings to match the laid back outfit of your fake boyfriend. 
“what can we do without much physical contact?” you pondered, a finger tapping on your chin. sae scoffs at your question, mumbling about what’s wrong with physical contact with him. you almost wanted to tell him “everything” but that would just start another argument today
“how about we get some coffee?” sae offers, unable to think of more activities to do in such short notice. you hum in agreement, coffee does sound good right now. you get up from the couch and grab the keys to your car
“what are you doing?” sae asked. you stop in your tracks and hold out your keys for him to see. “we’re taking my car” sae says, showing off his. 
not putting up much of a fight, you agreed. it was getting tiring driving yourself around anyway.
you two arrive at the coffee shop sae graciously let you choose in no time (by graciously, he meant that he’s good with anything you choose) you then decide on sitting by the window where you know the paparazzi will be in front at in no time to capture this date between rekindled lovers
you sit at your chosen table by the window while you wait for sae to order something for the both of you. telling him that you’re okay with whatever since this cafe was your favorite.
it didn’t take sae that long to come back with your orders. he sets the tray down and you find an abundance of sweets and pastries. you look up at him confused but he simply shrugs. he then places your drink down. you take the receipt that was hanging off the tray to read everything he has ordered.
looks like he ordered everything on the menu with the sweets and pastries, which is not surprising really. when you read what he got you however,
“you ordered me a spanish latte?” you ask, taking the drink from the table. 
sae nods, taking a sip from his own drink. “something wrong?” 
you shake your head no. you just can’t wrap your head at the fact he ordered your usual go-to drink.
“nothing, it’s just i'm surprised that you still remember what i usually order in coffee shops” you shrug, finally sipping on your drink. spanish lattes does always hit the spot for you
“do you think i have forgotten?” sae raises a brow, a slight frown forming on his lips. you rolled your eyes at his comment. 
“well, it’s been a while, don’t you think?” you retort, avoiding his hard stare. technically, it’s been almost two years since the breakup. one of you were bound to forget each other’s habits and the such. 
there was silence again after that. an awkward one at that
“let’s take our post now so we can leave” you say, taking pictures of the food in front of you while keeping sae in the frame. sae simply nods and does the same. the photo you decided to post was mostly all the food sae ordered with him in the background. you purposely cut off his head just for the thrill of it. you do tag sae in the instagram story though with the caption “coffee run” 
sae’s post was a bit different. he simply posted a candid shot of you taking pictures of the food in front of you. for captions, sae isn’t much of a caption person because he thinks they defeat the purpose of photos so instead he just adds a heart emoji with your username next to it. 
it didn’t take much for the paparazzi to find your whereabouts. just like planned, they were outside the window you two were seated in taking photos after photos. 
“do we go now?” sae asks, eyeing the amount of people that were outside the cafe. 
“yeah..” you trail off, not really expecting a whole crowd to form outside. sae must've sensed that you were tensed with the way he stands next to you when you two were leaving the coffee shop
the moment you two step foot outside, it was an absolute frenzy. the press were everywhere on your faces. asking questions from all sorts of directions that it actually made you dizzy. 
you were never one for crowded crowds. especially when they topple over each other just to take the perfect photo or get an exclusive. it was just never your cup of tea
you covered your eyes from the bright flashes that were all over your face, trying to maneuver around the paparazzi to get to sae’s car faster but the paparazzi was too much for you to handle. you instinctively leaned on sae for support as your legs start to feel wobbly. sae immediately catches on and wraps an arm around your waist securely, pushing forward against the hoarde of people in front of you guys
“get out of the fucking way!” sae barks, pushing the people in front of your faces. the group of paparazzi do make way for you guys as you finally reach sae’s car. 
sae unlocks the car and opens the passenger door for you to enter first. he shields any possible camera that was trying to capture your face with his body. even going as far as pushing them away making some of the paparazzi stumble and fall on their asses. 
once you were secured in your seat, he runs over to his side of the car and starts the car before speeding off. not wasting a single second for some short interview.
“you okay?” sae steals a glance at your slumped state, before turning his attention back to the road in front of him. 
“... yeah, just dizzy” you say meekly, rubbing your temples. “i’m gonna rest my eyes for a bit, sae” you murmur, leaning against the window before drifting off to sleep.  
sae sighs and speeds up faster so you two could get home sooner. ‘damn paparazzi’ he thinks to himself, not noticing how his knuckles have turned white with how hard he was gripping the steering wheel. 
the car comes to a halt when the traffic lights beam red. sae couldn’t help but look at your state. he always knew you were bad with crowds but yet you still fulfilled your lifelong dream to be a model. he wonders who took care of you during flash mobs when you were out in the streets. 
was it your manager? was it that reo guy? or was it yukimiya aka that person he doesn’t really like. sae hates how close you are with him. sae will also never forget your scandal with him. he can still remember it like it was yesterday when the news dropped that you may or may not be in a relationship with your fellow model yukimiya kenyu after being papped being cozy inside his car. 
practice was hell that day for real madrid and sae may or may not have punctured a soccer ball out of pure rage. 
the damned light finally turns green and thankfully you were at the last street before the turn to your apartment complex.
sae parks the car and turns to take a good look at your sleeping figure. you look too peaceful to wake up. so he gets out of the car and goes to your side to pick you up bridal style. 
he gently puts one of your arms around his neck (for safe measure) and loops his under your knees to carry you. with the help of the security guards around, he presses the elevator up to your penthouse suite. 
for once in his life, sae is thankful that he was an athlete as he successfully tapped in your passcode to unlock your front door with you in his arms. when he reaches your bedroom, he gently sets you down on your bed. 
sae was about to leave to make some dinner just before you wake up but was stopped by your hand reaching for his. 
“stay..” you mumbled, tugging his arm. sae hesitates for a bit, unsure if you were actually conscious or was just sleep talking. sae watches your eyebrows furrow when you notice he still wasn’t beside you. clicking your tongue in annoyance, you tug on sae’s arm harder so he gets the hint
“okay, okay” sae hums, slowly getting in your bed. he’s unsure himself on what he should do. should he stay still, wrap an arm around you, what?
to his surprise, you were snuggling next to him. your head nestling to his chest. sae lets out a small gasp. he definitely didn’t see this coming. 
coming to a realization that no harm would be done if he wraps an arm around you, he slowly drapes his arm over your waist. sae suddenly feels like he was on top of the world, like everything suddenly made sense to sae. 
sae caresses your cheek, brushing the stray hairs from your face. 
“you still look beautiful the day i lost you..” sae whispers. he debates on stealing a kiss. he weighs out the pros and the cons and figures that it was more of a liability if you ever find out he stole a kiss from you, especially when you were asleep. that’s gonna have to be for another time. 
sae was beginning to feel sleepy. he carefully drapes the duvet across your bodies. not even a moment later, sae is now fast asleep with you in his arms
you find yourself plush against something hard and warm. you try tossing to the other side but you were being held securely around your waist. your eyes shot up, now fully awake and aware of your surroundings.
“good morning” sae rasps, his morning voice sending shivers down your spine. 
“what are you doing in my bed?” you whisper-yelled, actually genuinely surprised to see him next to you. your heart was racing, like it was about to jump out of your chest. did something happened yesterday? you couldn’t quite remember everything after leaving the coffee shop. it almost felt like a hazy dream
sae reluctantly unwraps his arm around you and scoots to the edge of the bed. you almost pout at the warmth that disappears but you internally scold yourself for thinking of such things.
“you passed out in the car and i brought you here” sae explains, now sitting up. “i’ll go make breakfast. stay put” he pats your leg before excusing himself to leave your bedroom. you lay there confused because that wasn’t enough to explain why he was quite literally sleeping next to you. 
just the mere fact that you slept next to him sent you into a frenzy. you grab your phone and immediately dialed reo
“hello?” reo answers groggily, you checked your phone for the time and it was literally 8 in the morning. 
“reo!” you hushed, trying not to catch the attention of sae “something happened yesterday!” 
“what?”
“we slept together…?” your voice going up an octave, chewing on your lip as you await for reo’s reaction
a beat of silence passes by. you thought reo may have accidentally ended the call
“YOU DID WHAT?!” reo basically screams at your ear. you had to remove your phone from your ear from the impact of reo’s shrill scream. “DON’T TELL ME YOU GOT BACK TOGETHER WITH HIM IN JUST A WEEK’S NOTICE—”
“NOT IN THAT WAY, DIPSHIT” you say abruptly, cutting reo off. “i mean like.. we just slept in the same bed after yesterday’s turn of events…” you trail off, trying to remember every significant detail that eventually lead up to you and sae ultimately sleeping with each other.
“my guess is with the paparazzi. i just saw the photos” reo says, typing away on his keyboard. “not gonna lie y/n, you and sae do make a good couple” he adds, giggling
you huff over the phone, earning a hefty laugh from the other end. 
“talk to him. clearly you need it” reo advices. it was like he knows where this was going. “ i gotta go for now, y/n. i’ll call you back later. duty calls. ciao!” reo ends the call before you could even say something. 
you threw your phone on the other side of the bed, groaning as you put your head in your hands. what was happening to you
there was a faint knock on your door, probably sae was gonna tell you that breakfast was ready but to your surprise, he brought the breakfast to you.. in bed.
sae walks in with a little bed tray that you didn’t even know you owned filled with some breakfast. 
“was all this necessary?” you say in disbelief. sae simply shrugs and sits by the foot of your bed.
“i contacted your manager about your state and he says he’ll be coming over to check up on you later” he notes, typing away on his phone with one hand. sae turns to you and motions for you to start digging in. “c’mon, eat up” 
you feel your face heat up at his extravagant gestures. he was a man of service after all. even during your relationship, sae wasn’t the type to be vocal about his love for you. it was mostly through actions may it be subtle or not. you can feel the love with the way he does everything for you.
with a small smile, you start to eat the breakfast he made. 
“sae,” you call. he looks up from his phone, a confused look on his face. 
“need something?”
“come here” you motioned for him to scoot closer to you. to which he happily obliges. he is now sitting right in front of you. 
he watches you cut a piece of your pancake and stabbed it with your fork before holding it up for him.
“here,” you say sheepishly, not even looking at sae in the eye. sae looked at you like you just lost your mind. 
“can’t let you not eat your own cooking..” you mumbled, feeling your face burn in both embarrassment or something you can’t pinpoint. with a chuckle, he takes the fork from you. unintentionally brushing your hands together.
in an instant, you snatch your hand back as he quietly eats the pancake you’ve given him.
things are changing between you and sae and you’re not sure if you like it.
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005.
it’s been a few days since the whole ordeal with you and sae in bed together. your management gave you guys a few days off just to keep things at bay with the paparazzi after the whole fiasco of you almost fainting because of the sea of paparazzi outside trying to take photos. 
your manager did end up checking up on you that day just like sae has mentioned. you told him off that you were fine and just needed more resting before you can resume with your work. he reluctantly agrees and goes ahead and reports your status with your company.
reo and yukimiya also came over for the past few days. just to check things up with you after your pictures were published for the public. you had a talk with your two closest friends about your current situation with sae. 
yukimiya was a bit unsure for you while reo advised that they’ll be there with you for every decision you make. he also opted that you two should have an open forum about each other’s whereabouts since the break up. clearly you still had unanswered questions.
sae was out again for his daily practice. although he did tell you that he’d be back around the afternoon. 
you take this opportunity of being alone to actually think about everything for the past week. 
this few weeks has been a whole rollercoaster. not only you’ve been reunited with your ex, you had to be in a “fake” relationship with him again for the media, and now it’s like you and sae were back to your old routines all those years ago. 
a part of you does miss being able to call sae as yours, not just for the sake of the cameras but just because you really do love him and you want to be with him, but this time for real. yet, another part of you is scared that maybe there’s a catch to this. maybe in the end sae was just using you for his own sake. 
you made a promise to yourself that you were not gonna have him play with your heart like that anymore. not again, never again.
but here you are, willing to take the same risk again. the things you are willing to do just to call him yours. 
because at the end of the day, it will always be itoshi sae.
no one else has your heart the way sae has it. 
you barely notice that sae has arrived back from practice til he was waving a hand in front of your face.
“y/n” he jabs a finger at the side of your head, an amused look on his face. “what are you thinking about?” sae hums, plopping down on the couch next to you. 
“nothing much, just about life”you hissed, clutching the spot he just poked you. you leaned back on the couch, stealing a glance at sae but you made eye contact instead. immediately you looked away, feeling your cheeks heat up.
sae snickers next to you, a small smile on his face as he takes a good look at you. 
“having a midlife crisis at your young age?” sae pokes your sides making you jump. you let out a little yelp, causing sae to smirk. 
“don’t even think about it sae itoshi— AH!” you hold your hands out in defense mode. you know that devilish look on sae’s face. sae’s fingers reach your sides before you could even finish your menacing (not) threat. 
your laughter fills the living room. 
oh how sae missed this. how he missed coming home from practice and to have you wait for him. how sae missed you.
sae stops tickling you to let you catch your breath. barely even noticing the position you two were in. he was on top of you, hands on each side of your head. your cheeks painted red, chest rising rapidly as you try to control your breathing. 
“can i kiss–” 
the front door slams open to reveal reo and yukimiya in tow with some food.
“y/n! we brought you some food!” reo happily chirps, setting the food down on your kitchen counter. sae’s eyes immediately widen and rushes to get off of you. he stumbles and falls on the floor, just right in front of reo’s feet.
reo and sae make eye contact. reo awkwardly smiles at the now embarrassed sae.
but sae being sae, he brushed it off like he was in the middle of push ups. 
“... and 50. 50 push ups done” sae puffs, pushing himself off the ground, pretending to wipe the non existent sweat on his forehead and ushers away to his room. not missing reo’s comment before he slams the door shut.
“i’m gonna just pretend i didn’t see you fall right in front of me” reo cackles, wiping a tear from his eye. “anyway y/n, we got you some food. i forgot that athlete was living with you sooo.. it’s up to you to give his share” reo shows you the amount of food he just got you.
yukimiya giggles behind him. he pulls reo to the side before giving you his infamous smirk
“reo, we gotta go now” yukimiya smiles slyly at you. he takes a good look at your ruffled shirt, flushed cheeks and messy hair. 
“what? we just got here!” reo complains, looking back at yukimiya, who points out your current state. he then whispers something to reo that you obviously can’t hear. you stand there with your arms crossed, eyebrows raised as you wait for your two best friends to fill you in
“i’m literally right here” you rolled your eyes.
“oh!” reo gasps, eyes wide as he seems to put two and two together. he covers his mouth like he just witnessed something scandalous. 
you were about to open your mouth to say protest against what allegations yukimiya has of you but both reo and yukimiya bolt out the door. yelling about how they were sorry for disturbing something while cackling. 
“those bitches..” you muttered, shaking your head. you walk over to the kitchen to go through what reo just got you. of course it was his favorite steak with some side dishes. 
“are they gone?” you hear sae call out from his room, his head poking out the door. 
you laugh, “yeah. you can come out now” 
you hear the door open and sae comes walking in the kitchen with nothing but sweatpants. you let out a squeak as your hands fly to your eyes, covering them from seeing sae’s half naked body.
sae scoffs at your reaction. “you’re acting like you aren’t used to it”
“was used to it” you correct him. sae’s mood drops a bit. you awkwardly fiddle with the hem of the plastic. taking out the plastic containers to at least lift up the now sour atmosphere. 
sae looks at the meals you’ve settled down on the counter. “from reo?” he asks, going ahead and taking out some chopsticks. 
he must be starving from coming home after practice.
you slid the plastic container that held reo’s favorite steak to sae. his eye widens and shakes his head. he pushes it back to you. it becomes a silent tug of war. sae ended up losing because you were starting to get upset and he can tell by the way your lips are jutted out and you were pushing harder, causing some of the sauce to spill out.
“okay, damn..” sae mutters, accepting his defeat. you let out a victory cheer by dancing a little in your seat. sae couldn’t help but smile. now here you were, watching him chomp down the food reo initially got for you.
“let’s head out somewhere” sae says, poking you with his chopsticks. you swat his hands away as you scowl at him. going out all of a sudden after he just ate?
“where are we going?”
“places” 
you look up at him unsure. you didn’t really want to go anywhere this week knowing that paparazzi might be up on your asses again. you weren’t gonna risk your health again for just some dumb post
“but we’re on break with posting though” you protest. was sae really serious about heading out? 
sae pouts and looks at you with pleading eyes. something he only pulls when he really wants to do something or get his way. something you couldn’t resist. you guessed old habits really die hard
“please?” 
you avert your gaze elsewhere because those teal eyes are only trouble for you. you hear sae sigh beside you and you realized that was your last straw.
“fine”
you look back at sae who had a small smile on his face. his face screaming “i know you still can’t resist me” and quite frankly you wanted to punch the living daylights out of his smug face. 
“i’m not gonna get dressed up or anything though. just a hoodie and a hat to keep our identities hidden” you say, getting up from the barstool to head over to your room to get an oversized hoodie and your hat.
“wasn’t counting on it” sae says, humming to himself that he got you to agree.
it didn’t take long for you guys to get moving. you two were now on your way to wherever sae was taking you. even if you kept asking where you two were going, sae simply shushes you and tells you to just sit back and relax
you were leaning towards the window, watching the city skies fade as you two drive aimlessly around the city. your phone connected to his aux, softly playing some tunes in the background.
your eyes peer over to sae who had one hand on the steering wheel, while the other was used to prop himself up against the window. you find yourself smiling at the memories going back to you. 
the old late night drives with sae just to clear your minds. 
the route sae was taking you felt awfully familiar. you sit up straight and looked outside to see that you were going up a familiar hill. you snap your head towards sae. sae catches your stare and winks at your direction.
the car eventually comes to a stop. sae silently turns off the car and gets out with you following behind him. there you realize where he took you. sae took you back to your favorite spot to get away from it all. the hilltop where you can get a whole view of the ever so busy city of shibuya. 
the same place sae asked you to be his,
the same place sae broke things off with you,
“what are we doing here, sae?” you ask, sitting on top of the hood of his car. sae follows suit. he sits next to you, observing the view in front of him.
“to unwind” he says flatly, putting his hood on. you can’t help but look at him. what did he mean by that?
“you looked pretty occupied today, so i just thought i’d bring you here-”
you furrowed your brows, “then why here?”
sae stays silent. the sound of the city filling your ears. you can’t help but think that it was now or never. it was the perfect time to get things across. for your own peace of mind, and for the sake of it all. 
it was silent between you and sae all of a sudden. you almost wanted to laugh at how ironic it is that you’d end up in this place again for the third time in a row with the same person. 
‘how nostalgic’ you think to yourself. you get up from the hood of the car and walked towards the wooden fence. just to get a clearer view and to get some air that you so desperately needed before talking to sae. 
“you know, this reminds me of the time you took me up here for the first time,” you start, kicking the rocks just by your feet. sae’s ears perk up at the sudden mention of the memory.
“i was so happy that day. to think we’d last for over five years. i was the happiest when i was with you, sae” you continued, smiling to yourself as you recalled everything.
sae can’t help but feel there’s more to what you’re saying. he can’t help but anticipate the bomb that you were about to drop.
“til one day, you brought me out here again. this time, to break up” you turn around to face sae who had an expression you can’t comprehend. his hands were stuffed inside the pockets of his hoodie
“you broke me that day, sae” you breathe out, looking up at the moon. “and to think not even two weeks later i see you with someone else” you let out a laugh. to sae it sounded forced. 
“i hate you, sae itoshi” you finally look at him again, sae averts from your hard gaze. 
“i hate how you took all my firsts, i hate how you talk to me with that voice, i hate how i know your morning routine better than anyone else, i hate how you always opt to cook because you know i suck at cooking, i hate how you know me like the back of your hand..” you list off, with every list you say, you take a step forward. 
“i hate how even after all these years, even after you hurt me, even how you broke me to pieces, i hate how i can’t ever find myself to hate you” you finish. a teardrop running down your cheeks. 
“i hate how i still love you..” your voice was shaky. your hands were trembling, here you were, confessing your heart to the guy who initially broke it. 
you broke your promise to yourself. 
with a deep sigh, you fixed your composure. you harshly wipe the tears that were running down your cheeks before turning your back on sae again to face the city you live in. 
“i just have a question for you, sae…” you take a deep breath. finally. you were gonna get the answers to your questions. those times you’ve doubted yourself, those sleepless nights wondering where it all went wrong, nights where you ask yourself if you were ever enough for sae.. 
you were finally gonna get your well deserved answers. 
“why? what did i do wrong? was i not enough for you?” 
sae silently moves towards you. he pulls your head to his chest where you freely the tears fall. 
you push him off of you, you were not gonna let yourself be fooled much longer.  
“was it worth it, sae? was throwing away our years together worth it?” you seethed, tears pricking your eyes.
sae’s eyes widened, “i–”
“you know sae, even if i was in a room with all the people i love the most. i’d still choose you and you all over again. i will always choose you, sae” you cut him off, trembling. words shaking as you are basically spilling your heart to the guy who broke it into a million pieces.
sae’s heart breaks at the scene before him. it was too late for him to realize the damage he has done to you. for you to act like this.
“that’s why i agreed to be in this fake relationship with you. i wanted to find out why you did this to me, to us” you admit, tears now fully flowing. “i just..” you weren’t able to finish what you were trying to sae as you sob in front of sae.
“why sae?.. just, why?”
you barely notice sae approaching. the next thing you knew, he pulls your head to his chest. 
“shh… let it out” he says, his free arm rubbing your back as you cry your heart out. finally, after all those years, it felt good to release everything. like a million bricks has been lifted off your shoulders. 
sae pulls away, cupping your cheeks as he wipes the tears pouring down your cheeks with his thumb. his eyes flicker from your eyes to your lips. 
“don’t look at me like that, sae..” you say in a low voice, almost like a whisper. peering away from sae’s eyes. 
sae slowly leans in and before he knows it his lips are just ghosting over yours. without a second, sae smashes your lips together.
your eyes widened. you wanted to push him away. you put your hands on his chest ready to push him away, but something in you is stopping you from doing so. 
how you missed this. how you missed sae
how sae missed this. how sae missed you
you pull apart, catching your breath. you look up at sae to see him crying too. he cups your cheeks, caressing them with his thumb.
“i’m sorry” was all he could say. he puts his forehead against yours, teal eyes fixated on yours. you can tell with his eyes that he was sincere. sae was also shaking as he holds you, his whole body language screaming guilt.
“i was young and stupid. i thought i’d be better off without you but i realized that i wasn’t. it was too late by then.” he explains, looking down at your feet instead of meeting your eyes.
you put your hand over his, squeezing them. relishing in the moment of two ex lovers putting the past behind them.
“i tried reaching out for you, you know?” sae brings up, laughing to himself at how stupid he sounded. “but knowing you, i knew you’d probably act like you never existed. i had to find out the hard way” he scoffs at the end. 
“eventually, the stars brought me to you again” sae finally looks at you in the eye. “i took that as a chance to try and redeem myself. i think it failed though,” sae admits sheepishly, “i was persistent. i wanted you back and i did everything i can just to keep you with me” 
you listen to sae stumble with his words. he’s trying. he’s actually proving that he was genuinely sorry for everything.
“i never stopped loving you, y/n” sae admits with a sad smile, “i never did” 
you tear up again at his confession. because frankly, you were the same. 
sae opens his mouth to say something but instead, you crash your lips against his. sae doesn’t move for a second but relaxes as soon as he realizes what was going on. he instantly wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you close as he can. 
“i love you,” 
“i love you too,”
you two find yourselves basking under the moonlight once again. fixing and treating each other’s wounds as you two try again. this time you two are sure that whatever you two have planned for each other, you two will make it right. 
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006.
the sound of an alarm blaring through the room wakes you up from your sleep. you feel some shuffling behind you and suddenly the room turns quiet again.
“did i wake you?” you hear sae’s morning voice ring through your ears, sending a shiver down your spine. you let out a small whine, nodding your head yes. 
sae chuckles, and tightens his hold around your body under the covers. “good morning to you too, baby” he kisses your cheek. 
you open one eye before twisting your body around to face him. 
“morning..” you yawn, leaving a trail of kisses from his jaw to his adam’s apple.
“still didn’t get enough from last night, hm?” sae teases, rubbing circles on your hips. you feel your cheeks heat up. you slapped his chest before turning your back on him again. 
“our managers will kill us if we’re late” you remind him of your schedules for the day. you sit up, slipping on his shirt that was lying on the floor, recalling last night’s events. you looked at yourself from the mirror to see some love bites all over your neck up to your chest. a gentle reminder that you were now his again.
“they can wait,” sae murmurs, slipping his hands under your (his) shirt. you let out a giggle before pushing his hands off of you. 
“sae come on!” you tug on his arm as you two head out to your bathroom. 
after what seems like an hour or so due to sae’s rowdy hands. you two finally arrive at the red carpet of the luxury brand you two have modeled for. 
the screams of fans fills your ears as you wait in of the car and onto the red carpet where a line of reporters were waiting. 
sae, being the gentleman he is and a marketing genius, he obviously makes a scene for your entrances. he gets out of the car first and holds out his hand for you to take. the audience goes crazy as you two make your entrance. 
“sae, y/n! over here!” you hear a bunch of reporters yell out. lights, and flashes all around. 
you and sae stop at the first reporter on the line. he greets you guys with a smile before starting his short interview. it was the usual questions about the brand and you guys feel about being the new faces of it.
“well, clearly they have a good eye for casting both y/n and i as the new faces for their brand” sae answers for the both of you, his arm wrapped securely around your waist. 
the interviewer gushes at how cool his answer was and proceeds to ask you another question.
“my, my, my, miss y/n. you look lovely as usual but i can’t help but wonder, what does it feel like to be back together with sae itoshi?” he asks, intrigued, his microphone on your face. 
you look at sae for approval and he simply smiles and motions for you to say whatever you want to say. 
“well, it still shocks me til this day that i got back together with sae” you joked, making the interviewer laugh at your response and sae who fakes being offended. you laugh at his reaction before answering seriously, 
“but seriously. i guess it’s true that if it’s meant to be, it will be” you smile, showing off sae in front of the camera to which the interviewer loves.
“what an answer from, y/n! well you heard it here first folks!” the interviewer beams in front of the camera, “i wish you two never ending happiness. thank you for letting me interview you guys!” he waves off, finding another celebrity to interview. 
you and sae both smile and wave him goodbye as you two continue along the red carpet.
“do you really mean that?” you hear sae ask beside you. he was busy waving for the cameras. you let out a little giggle before waving around for the paparazzi and cameras around. 
“mean what?”
“what you said about if it’s meant to be, it will be” he quotes you, tucking a stray hair behind your ear sending the audience and the paparazzi in a frenzy again. 
“it happened to us, didn’t it?” you smile, motioning to your current situation. 
sae was yours again, and you are his. 
just how it should be. 
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bonus!
you didn't consider how awkward it actually was to be working on another modeling gig with your boyfriend.
especially when the poses instructed by the photographer and way too intimate to be imitated in a semi-public setting for your liking.
“what are you being stiff for?” sae holds in his laugh, seeing how motionless your poses are with him. “it’s awkward when theres people around..” you say through gritted teeth, praying to the gods that this shoot will finally be over
“it’s not this awkward when we do this alone though..” sae seductively whispers, lowering his head just right at the shell of your ear.
the photographer squeals in joy at the amount of shots he got from that pose alone.
you feel your face burn up in embarrassment.
“sae!” 
1K notes · View notes
psuedosugu · 3 months
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You know something I've noticed? Yeah, Nifty is your typical yandere but can we talk about Vox? You technically don't even have to request him as a yandere unless you want it to be romanticized toward you and/or further explored because according to ALL of the recent regular Vox x readers (and the show itself), he clearly has many traits of one especially toward Alastor. He acts like a toxic, jealous ex 😂 He cyberstalks people for one, he's manipulative, insecure (this is where possessiveness and jealousy tends to stem from), doesn't take rejection well as we heard from Al, is capable of being obsessed with someone, and an overall control freak. He wants to keep the Vees' image and everything looking perfect. Imagine this guy being attached to you. An absolute nightmare. Never any privacy, eyes and ears everywhere, can teleport with or without a screen, blackmail is 100% on the table as well as other tactics, and constant validation for him whether your relationship is forced or not. What sucks about the last part is that it's a double-edged sword. If you fuel his ego, he's enabled but if you don't give him enough attention, he'll try harder and tighten his hold on you. So while Val absolutely horrible, it's like you can never win with Vox. Not when you don't have equal power and he's stated to be very strong. Especially these days, tech is an absolute must since even jobs heavily rely on it. Life and the afterlife here is much harder without a smartphone. He's literally a TV. He wants to be watched and noticed.
So he'll get it.
exactly brooo
cw: themes of manipulation, blackmail, and toxic, controlling relationships.
gender neutral
:・゚✧:・.☽˚。・゚✧:・.:
ੈ✧̣̇ || honestly atp he’s practically a canon yandere.
ੈ✧̣̇ || i kinda talked about this before but i feel like he would manipulate reader into thinking that they need him when its the other way around
ੈ✧̣̇ || as u said, he’s insecure as hell and he needs someone to boost his ego and make him look superior
ੈ✧̣̇ || he also needs some source of stability in his (after) life which is where you come in.
ੈ✧̣̇ || hed also never let things go or get over you.
ੈ✧̣̇ || he started beef with a dude that he hadn’t seen in 7 whole years, for gods sake 😭
ੈ✧̣̇ || bro will start fights over things that happened months ago and are over now done with
ੈ✧̣̇ || he also craves control, not only will he spy on you through your electronics but he’ll also try and control other things that he has no business controlling like what you wear, who you talk to, ect.
ੈ✧̣̇ || if you mention your concerns about it he’ll try and back off, but hes just so paranoid that something will happen to you even though he knows you’re capable of taking care of yourself.
ੈ✧̣̇ || he needs to feel like he’s needed.
ੈ✧̣̇ || he also exerts his control by threatening you with blackmail, wether it be secrets that you told him or pictures.
ੈ✧̣̇ || not like you don’t have a fair amount of dirt on him too, though.
ੈ✧̣̇ || he’d definitely fight a bitch for you, if you’re getting threatened, stalked, and/or harassed by someone (that isnt him ofc) said person better prepare for his wrath.
ੈ✧̣̇ || hes a whiny ass bitch which is either annoying or hot depending on who you ask and what the context is.
ੈ✧̣̇ || its also kind of confusing how he acts, he’ll be practically ignoring you one second and begging for your attention the next.
ੈ✧̣̇ || another reason why he’s so scared of you leaving is because of how vulnerable he’s been to you.
ੈ✧̣̇ || he’s told you things that he’s never told anyone, shown parts of him that no one has ever seen, and the thought of what you could do with this info if you ever were to turn on him makes him feel sick to the stomach.
ੈ✧̣̇ || despite how it feels sometimes he really does care about and love you, he just has an unhealthy mindset when it comes to love.
ੈ✧̣̇ || perhaps you should stay around (not like u rlly have a choice), teach him how to love someone properly. you wont regret it :)
:・゚✧:・.☽˚。・゚✧:・.:
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strawglicks · 4 months
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flint fascinates me bc he comes off as rlly polite and kind
but also. not really. at all
they apologize often and it seems like they try to be nice to others, but then u look deeper and take into account different details
one of the biggest things abt flint that gets overlooked is that he likes drama .
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i dont think liking drama itself is bad, why else do we have reality tv shows yk. but i think they actively indulge in it and one of the biggest things that points to this for me is how they treat the satellite investors
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he seems to talk bad about them behind their backs, then can't handle the comeuppance of cosmo yelling at him.
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this is further implied with cosmo saying they're "goin' around spreadin' lies", meaning flint does actively talk shit on what might be a regular basis. and flint saying "oh, no, I shouldn't have said that" implies FURTHER that they KNOW they're gonna get yelled at for it but continue to do it anyway with the hope cosmo wont find out. like hes not sorry for doing it, only sorry for getting caught.
cosmo gets HEAVILY neglected both in the community as a whole and whenever flint is brought up even though they have a really interesting and honestly hilarious dynamic (but thats for another post..)
whenever cosmo DOES get brought up in the context of he and flints relationship, people defend flint and blame cosmo for being "mean" to him. but tbh, i think cosmo has a fair point in this particular text. Flint can talk all he wants, but at the end of the day can't handle the consequences of it and lacks the confidence to put his foot down. He's a follower, not a leader (unlike cosmo, who flint looks up to canonically. WHICH NO ONE TALKS ABOUT!!!!!!!!!!!)
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flint also seems to have an interesting habit of apologizing even though he actively and intentionally attacks the toons right after
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which i think is interesting. i think it's just a habit of his to say sorry when he knows he's doing/has done something wrong (especially bc he doesnt like facing the consequences), even if hes not actually sorry. Considering this is the same person who claims they like setting toons on fire, i dont think any of these apologies are sincere:
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speaking of not being able to handle the consequences, when flint does get defeated by toons, there's a line that sticks out.
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Specifically the "i'll be back" feels vengeful. Like he takes the defeat personally, and doesn't want to give up because it makes him feel weak and he wants to come out on top.
something else i find interesting and almost jarring in flint's dialogue is some of their Power Trip dialogue:
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this dude is incredibly power hungry. he craves confidence and the ability to be a leader, given how he looks up to cosmo and is drawn to graham, who also appears confident.
speaking of graham, i think it's important to note that earlier, when flint was talking shit abt the satellite investors, he was saying that specifically to graham, who encourages flint not to "let people walk all over him".
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graham encourages flint to feel more confident, which is not inherently a bad thing. confidence is great! and its something flint deserves. but i think there's an issue with how they choose to express this "confidence" on the rare occasions they do.
shown throughout this post, flint's way of trying to be confident is being power hungry, talking shit, and fighting toons . i think it's pretty clear that flint has been walked all over in the past and present, and it's caused them to become shy and a bit of a doormat. which he clearly doesn't like (more evidence of this is the fact that he explicitly dislikes belittling.)
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and on the rare occasions when they're "allowed" to be confident, they proceed to belittle OTHERS, like toons. in a lot of their dialogue, they come off as condescending towards the toons, even if it's pretty awkward.
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i think Flint deserves to feel confident, but the way they go about it is unhealthy. They've clearly been treated like a doormat and is fed up with it, and it seems like they lash out as a result. I think he has a good and genuine heart, but he almost comes off as bitter due to being walked all over constantly. its rlly interesting to dive into flint's flaws and the way they act due to their desperation for confidence, something they really lack.
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slushiebonez · 24 days
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hey guys copy-paste of insane dexter ramblings I sent to my friends sorry for typos lol. anyways
so im deciding personally bc im insane that she damn well knows her son is fucked up and works as an exterminator so he can legally satiate his need to kill but she still loves and defends him anyways. its my personal little treat. and i feel like this has to be at least partially true bc pelo has said that dexter has ASPD and that disorder oftentimes begins to manifest in childhood including as animal cruelty, so like she's probably been seeing these signs since he was a little kid. and seeing how much she loves him she either A) knows he's unwell and works extermination to satisfy himself and still loves / defends him bc at least hes putting his violent tendencies into a more "productive" outlet or B) is purposefully ignorant of it but i dont want to believe in this one bc nuh uh also dexters mom knowing and still supporting and loving him would be more interesting from a character standpoint bc since dexter is a very unwell man and i imagine doesnt have that many close relationships, if his momma is one of the only ppl that knows something is wrong with him and still loves him then seeing how much he seems to love her back id imagine shes like one of the few people he has. which is sweet but i also imagine its kinda like unhealthy codependent bc they both love each other dearly and cling to each other bc they know each other best but that can lead to them self-isolating and just clinging to each other because its just mother and son against the world and other people hate you but not me and them being like rlly close to the point of being kinda codependant could also be a reason why dexter doesnt get help. bc ASPD and its symptoms can be helped with therapy and medication but instead dexter treats his symptoms by indulging in reckless violent and impulsive behavior. and like. imagine if thats kinda a result of his mom bc she never got help for him and as he got worse she was like "i still love you and will protect you and theres nothing wrong with you" bc she loves her son but she instead reinforced the idea that his behaviors were fine and since he has no encouragement from his mother or others to seek help and change he chooses not to like. their relationship is so sweet and i know they both love each other so much and theyre there for each other BUT i also cant help but think that like. if dexter's mom knows abt his violent behavior which she probably does, why has he just gotten worse and indulged in it. sorry everyone im insane
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greenhaired-gremlin · 2 months
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rewatching HH pt 3
WEE DAD BEAT DAD MY SECOND FAVORITE EPISODE LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOO
the intro is a bop tho. i literally never skip it
Charlie having an unhealthy sleep schedule is so real
"Kill everyone?' real honestly
"you got daddy issues?" his smirk I'm dead
EMO CHARLIE
LUCIFER MY MENTALLY ILL NEURODIVERGENT LOML
the scripting before answering is so real
niffty in the background just chilling (literally acting like Alastor)
Pen's (i can't spell his name help) fuckin OwO face constantly
"TAKE THAT DEPRESSION" real
Al plotting
LUCI GREETING ALL THE CREATURES MAKES ME SO HAPPY "KEEKEE" OWO
AL: meets literal king of hell - immediately insults him
Luci canonly being the first person to make Al say the fuck word
the roaches fucking while Charlie is showing Luci the parlor
ok you can't tell me Luci didn't realize Vaggie was an angel like halfway through and just didn't say anything
Hell's Greatest Dad is such a vibe. Luci's little spin im sjhbdhjsd
DEVIL WENT DOWN TO GEORGIA REFERENCE (its funny cause i live in Georgia hehe)
"sadly there are times a birth parent is a dud" can confirm
Husk's face when Mimzy shows up he rlly is just like "fuck this bullshit"
Alastor is very annoyed by Mimzy you can tell. in the back he's just like -v-
THE BEEZLEJUICE SIGN IN THE BACKGROUND GHSBYGASDYG
WOO ALASTOR LORE
okay so its implied that Alastor killed most, if not all, of the overlords when he showed up, but Zestial and Carmilla are known to have BEEN THERE FOR A WHILE... so im curious if he knew he couldn't kill them or if they made an unofficial deal
okay i love Al as a character but husk and his convo scene makes me so mad
al is terrifying
THE JAZZ AS AL WALKS AWAY
husk shaking like a cat i have so many headcanons for husk rn (lmk if anyone wants them...)
HOLY SHIT WHEN LUCI'S TALKING ABOUT HEAVEN VAGGIE LOOKS AWAY GUILTILY
vaggie speaking Spanish
HUSK JUST -_- this entire episode is so relatable
PEN SAVING NIFFTY
okay but the doubling voice when Al uses his power. makes brain go brrr
Charlie: defending Al
Al: literally dropping a loan shark down his throat in the back
Al being done with Mimzy is so important to me. probably gonna post a full thing on it cause it's actually a really vital thing
Husk and Angel eating popcorn. me too besties
More Than Anything hits me right in the daddy issues i literally almost cried that first time i watched it.
okay but Lilith taking Charlie away? i really think there's something between Luci and Lilith that we don't know bc like... what?
"I've missed that smile" IJHWBUYSHYBYHS
"I'm grateful you're my daughter/father" UGH RLLY CALLING MY DADDY ISSUES OUT
PROUD DAD PROUD DAD PROUD DAD PROUD DAD PROUD-
Vaggie at the end is just like oh fuck
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time-is-restored · 1 year
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okay like listen i know a lot of people have been talking abt this specific aspect of 3x3 already but. im just having a bit of a moment w the amount of lgbt ppl who saw trent's expression at the end there, and like. Knew.
like to be clear i am aware that at this point trent being gay is, at best, subtext + fanon. its incredibly beloved subtext, but its entirely possible that it could get blown out of the water in the coming episodes. but within the reading of trent being a gay man, seeing colin in that terrifying moment of exposure + vulnerability... that look says So much. its fear, its worry, its an instinctive protective response. its helplessness, its shame from feeling powerlessness, its the grim certainty that comes from knowing just how much is at stake.
(cw: discussion of homophobia + discrimination below. its long. i very much rambled.)
bc the thing that i personally keep coming back to is like. everyone on the team is colin's friend - his family, even, according to the themes of the show. the show is literally about the team + staff working together to break down their toxic/unhealthy behaviours and build up a culture of trust + respect. that's why i think it's so significant that while isaac is the one to use the word gay pejoratively, he's also the one checking in on colin when he gets moved to the bench. he's arguably colin's closest friend at the club! and that's not enough. the fact that the richmond club is made up of demonstrably good and well-intentioned people isn't enough.
don't get me wrong, its fucking terrifying + awful being closeted around ppl who are ACTIVELY bigoted and cruel and who u KNOW would be nothing less than awful to if u were out. but the uncertainty of being around people you love, and not knowing what would happen if you told them? of never truly being sure of your place in the dynamic, since there's always that risk hanging over your head? its exhausting, and terrifying.
because what if they aren't accepting? even avoiding the worst case scenario where his bosses (the coaches, higgins, rebecca - hell, even keely) don't outright cut his career short, he's obviously extremely aware of how being on the outs with the team could lead to his life being made miserable. he was harassing nate himself! and, again, putting aside the (very real! he's a football player! he spends half of his time in a locker room!!!) threat of physical violence, we JUST saw how quickly a member of the team can be shunned + labelled as an outsider (and in the context of this arc, i rlly don't think its a coincedence that trent, specifically, was the one to experience that treatment). and that's without even getting STARTED on the absolute nightmare britain's press + papparazi would be if they put a target on his back (the show has spared no gory detail for their treatment of rebecca + ted, after all).
this is the type of weight colin's been carrying around for the past three seasons. and trent, in that split second before he looked away and continued walking, must've felt it all right along with him. colin works for the fucking premier league in fucking britain. it's harder to think of a workplace LESS hospitable to anything other than the most cishetero, toxic, hyper conformist displays of masculinity.
and that's what fucking GETS me abt the reading where trent is gay! because in the exact same moment where trent would be feeling such a sudden sense of connection + solidarity w colin (you are not alone!!! im here too! i see you! i know you!), there comes the crushing weight of wanting to protect him, and not knowing if you can. trent may be a notoriously incisive + unflinching reporter, but w/ all of his power + armour stripped away now that he's no longer with the independent, it's damningly obvious that trent doesn't have anything close to real power at richmond. if they wanted to make colin's life hell, what could he really do to stop them? again: they're fucking footballers. he's only even allowed at the club on ted's word, a word which could presumably be revoked at any time.
i just. the fear. the guilt. the shame. and above all, the desperate, heart aching need to keep another member of the community safe, even with the odds so blatantly stacked against you both.
and like. idk. to me that is the point of this scene. i think whether you've been in trent's position, or colin's, or neither, the vast majority of us went through a very similar emotional journey when we saw colin exposed like that. love -> fear -> protectiveness. and its an urge so strong, ppl are (lightheartedly, for the most part) threatening the Literal Writers of the show! like, the fact that rn there are SO many people out there tweeting + liveblogging and threatening trent, threatening isaac, threatening the WRITERS - threatening literally anyone and everyone over the CHANCE that any of them will hurt colin/out him/expose him to homophobia in any way? like, yes, colin isn't real. but i'd like to hope that that solidarity is.
and just to be clear, ted lasso is ultimately a comedy show. while it has never shied away from frankly portraying dark subject matter, i don't think this story will have an unhappy ending. but if this arc comes with any takeaway at all, i just really fucking hope that its about how that solidarity is what we all need to embrace + run towards, rather than try and stifle. and that colin is fully + unconditionally supported by his community, whoever that may be.
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