#but i still haven't grasped that anyone reads these posts LOL

[nostalgicatsea]

5-fic self-rec!

Thanks for tagging me for this, @oluka (and the last line thing too except I had to pass on that one because I haven't written anything in a while other than the last excerpt I posted on here 😅).

Except for "Apricity," which is near and dear to my heart despite how much I itch to edit it (a constant issue I have with things I write), I went with some of my favorites that have flown under the radar.

Hm...this ended up more of a "hey, good job, me" post than a "I'm trying to find what's compelling about these fics to rec them" post. Oh well.

In order of publication:

Apricity (616 Steve/Tony, T, 1.5k)

My first fic on AO3! My first Steve/Tony fic! And somehow it was 616 instead of MCU. I love dark Steve, but I'm particular with how exactly he's unhinged and this is how I like him. Even-keeled despite being off his rocker. Rational in his own head. Soured on the world, but in a way that pushes who he is to the extremes so his core is still visible even if it's mottled with rot. And, of course, obsessed with Tony. I also like the tempo of this; I used to have a good grasp on tempo, but I feel like I've lost that a bit over the years.

Unraveled (Warrior (2011) gen fic, G, 1k)

Since it's a movie that doesn't have a lot of fanworks for it and it's a gen fic to boot, barely anyone has read this, but I don't care because it was written for a friend, @luxover. I love writing little stories to gift friends. If you haven't watched Warrior, watch it! Brutal tearjerker about a broken family and broken men and one of the few good sports movies out there. No, you don't need to know anything about MMA to enjoy it. I don't.

Okay, I should talk about this ficlet. I'm fond of this one because it's so different from my usual writing. It's stream-of-consciousness and entirely voice-driven like someone sat you down in Brendan's head and he's talking and talking even if he naturally isn't saying of this out loud. Because he and his brother Tommy are emotionally constipated; even if they love each other a lot, they don't know how to reach out to each other. They don't know if they're wanted. This also has one of my favorite last lines I've ever written. GUT PUNCH, if I do say so myself. ONE-TWO HIT, K.O. Sums up every layer of their relationship.

Hidden Declaration (Brad/Ray (Generation Kill), T, 728 words)

Another gift for a friend (the same friend)! Brad/Ray and MCU Steve/Tony share some similarities despite being drastically different, so is it any surprise I liked these two unhinged idiots? I never open for fic prompts, but this was when I was on a roll and then I got scared because lux asked for this. I never wrote for Gen Kill, I read maybe 3 GK fics in my life, and Ray is one of those characters who are impossible to write well imo (to be honest, I also feel the same way about Brad though the difficulty is subtler). He's an unusual guy with a very particular way of speaking.

And somehow this flowed out of me quickly. It's not without its flaws, but it was so different from what I usually write and how I do that it was really fun to write this! Very dialogue-heavy too which isn't what I'm known for. And the crassest (also...some language that's not okay as a warning, but if you know GK, it comes with the territory) and most sexual (it's still not very sexual lol) out of my fics. I think I captured how much they're best friends and they're so comfortable in each other's presence well. Plus I put a little wink for my friend at the end and it's one of the few times I like being indulgent with my writing. Also, tattoo fics are a trope and I guess this counts as my one tattoo fic though it's not an AU and there's no actual tattooing involved.

A Long, Final Rest Among the Stars (MCU Tony-centric/Nebula & Tony gen fic, G, 2.7k)

My tribute to best boy Tony, my first and ultimate love (along with Steve, of course) along with an expansion of the lovely bits of Nebula and Tony's tender friendship that we got to see in IW which I adored. They share a lot in common.

Writing this made me so sad because I felt like I was preparing to say goodbye to Tony. It made me reminisce about how it all started, and everything came full circle. His past is his present. Tony's trapped on a dark spaceship injured and far, far away from home. Tony's trapped in a dark cave injured and far, far away from home. There's a kind spirit with him, and even if they try to keep him alive, he's a dead man walking. But he's also come a long way from the man he used to be. I'M REALLY PROUD OF HIM, OKAY? I LOVE HIM.

The Burning of Flowers (616 Steve/Tony, G, 1.2k)

I secretly really, really wish more people read this fic. I wanted to write a Hanahaki AU for a while, but I couldn't figure out what I'd do that would feel fresh and then I came up with this subversion of sorts. Hanahaki AUs usually involve someone pining for their love and refusing to let go of it because it means so much to them. I thought I'd write about someone who doesn't have it—and simultaneously wants and doesn't want it—and wishes ill on the person he loves by hoping their love has it. And what better era to situate it than Hickmanvengers? You don't need to know Hickmanvengers to enjoy it, though.

I'm extremely proud of this one because it's one of the best fics I've written if I'm allowed to toot my own horn for a sec! Please let me because it's so rare for me to feel like I don't want to rip apart chunks of my fics and sew them back whole again, new and improved. I think this is one of my most complete fics in that way; I can probably tweak it, but I'm satisfied with nearly all of it if not all of it.

Anyway, I was in a slump and then suddenly the old magic returned and I slipped back into the writing style I used to have back in the mid-2010s except better. I could actually see that I've developed as a writer even if I'm still learning. But the atmosphere, the sensory lines, and the rhythm returned. I like the pace of this a lot and feel like it follows Steve's relentless rage, much like the unmoored, slower pace of "Apricity" reminds me of a colder Steve who never fully woke up from the ice.

Tagging @kiyaar, @meidui, @sineala, @whenas-in-silks, @sabrecmc, @magicasen, and two artists (rec your art!<3): @kappamairi & @massivespacewren

#me: i have no fears #me: what if people don't like these fics and that's why they're underrated #one (1) fear....except kdfjksafjalfjla i don't really care because i enjoyed writing these and that's what's important! #i don't care if i'm embarrassing myself because maybe i should take a break on getting annoyed at myself when it comes to writing #and pat myself on the back for doing the best i could at the time and still liking these now #okay i need to sleep soon bye

[zoobus]

Types of manga on the all time bestseller list, grouped by how surprising I found their various rankings:

Completely expected

00s shounen that became the face of anime. They might be good, they might be bad, but you know who they are.

Post-2010 popular action shounen you may or may not have read but you've definitely heard of. Globalization and the increased cultural acceptance of anime mean lots of recent record breakers. I just found a Spy x Family surprise toy at Five Below.

Rumiko Takahashi

80s coming-of-age baseball romcom in what we might call a "soft retro Rumiko Takahashi art style" because none of these are known outside of Japan. Their super high placement only seems bizarre if you haven't been a weeb your whole life

Old classics (astro boy, rose of Versailles)

Horny classics (much of the lowest tier)

90s or older gag comedy built on dudes contorting their faces like silly putty

Silly little kid adventures

80s sports manga that starts off realistic but gradually descends into madness to raise the stakes

Sports manga that doesn't start realistic and there's no way any of these moves are legal but the characters are all passionate cute boys

Cooking manga that only me and Japan know about. Cooking Papa should be even higher.

Pleasantly surprised

Horrible violent delinquents beat the fuck out of each other to determine who's the Worst. Cover is a sneering teen in a gakuran with a slick pompadour if it's near the 80s or shaved if closer to the 00s

Horrible violent delinquents beat the fuck out of each other but it's funny. Be glad it was made back then because "lol couldn't make this today" is something you'll think often

Realistic slice of life depiction of Just Some Guy

Vagabound? What are you doing up here?

Objectively knew of its popularity but still shocked by it

Visceral, anatomically unusual 80s-90s manga about muscular men committing increasingly bizarre acts of violence on each other. Always a favorite with 2000s gammer sites obsessed with proving their hobbies' manliness and those who liked posting contextless pages to freak people out. I don't have a problem with this so much as I can't grasp how stuff like Baki the Grappler isn't hyper niche.

Kid detectives. Another example of the "I already knew this was insanely popular but I'm not sure why" genre except unlike Baki the Grappler, I've read Conan and Kindaichi Files.

The first shojo appearance for miles, Boys Over Flowers. Did these books come with opium dusted on that shit or what

Unpleasantly surprised

Mediocre shonen you kind of knew was popular simply because the title popped a lot but YOU'VE never heard anyone talk about it, you're pretty sure you've never met a fan, and all the anime forums you wasted your time on wouldn't even bother insulting it, it was so low on the radar

All the big shojo names are lower than you'd think

Why is DEATH NOTE lower than the fucking SLIME ISEKAI?!?

Futari Ecchi 👎👎👎

[wordsonamission]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thanks so much for tagging me in this, @acetonitril! Sorry for the delay, but I wanted to really think out my answers.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

12 currently! This is my first year actually posting fics and I'm happy with my progress.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

118,159! There's a chance I'll get another fic finished soon, too . . . And maybe I'll be able to sneak in something short and smutty before the end of the year.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

All I've published is Top Gun. I'm not going to be surprised if I end up writing soapghost for the COD games. Y'all have some superb writers and artists that keep drawing me in. Historically, I started some small 00Q and Destiel stuff back in ye olde golden days. There's a dramione fic from on my old computer from years back that was like 30k before I stopped.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Kissed By The Sun

Falling Into Place

A Safe Place to Land

Running on Empty

Spare

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! If someone was kind enough to make the effort to leave a comment, I want to make sure that they know I saw it and that I appreciate them for letting me know what they think. I don't generally reply the same day, but I try to reply within a couple of days. I love hearing what readers think and I hope that me engaging back only encourages more comments

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hmmm I have a couple. Mission Report is a whole pile of angst just as a concept. It's short and sad all the way through imo. Spare ends on a really big cliffhanger which can be read as sad; a character is left in a really fragile medical state. Snow Day is so sweet but then the end is just a gut-punch. You could say that I like to temper fluff and steamy stuff with sadness and angst.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

If the ending isn't sad, it's usually pretty happy. Or at least hopeful. I think I'll give happiest ending award to A Cookie Conundrum. It's so silly and light, no angst.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

None that I've ever seen. But I'm still new and I write safe fics as far as subject and pairings.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yeah lol. I'm still getting used to writing it. What kind? Pretty standard MLM fic smut. I'd like to write harder edged stuff in the future, but right now it tends to be really loving stuff.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I haven't. That's not something I'm super into as a reader or as a writer. Never say never - it'll only take the right combo to get me going I'm sure, but it hasn't happened yet.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I've seen. That is a worry of mine.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No. I'm still new and I don't see that Top Gun has a lot of fics that get translated (I could be very wrong and missing out)

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No I haven't.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

All time ever favorite? Yeesh. Uhhhhh I'll cop out and say that I enjoy a similar dynamic to my favorites - they're highly competent in their field but often less confidant about romance, there's a degree of imbalance in the relationship (rank, age gap, experience, etc), and I'm an absolute sucker for a character that doesn't let anyone else emotionally close who lets That Guy in.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I don't think I'm going to finish any of the old fic I mentioned, like from years ago. If I pick up those fandoms and pairings again, I'll start over.

16. What are your writing strengths?

God I don't know. I consider myself someone with a good grasp on grammar and how things Should be written as far as that goes (please go ahead and point out all of my mistakes, I know they're everywhere) which helps with readability. Comments repeatedly point out that even my smut is very tender and emotional. I tend to write characters affirming each other and being very giving lovers. I'm sure that says nothing about me as a person. I really like to dig into missing scenes to expand the emotional complexity of the canon story.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Knowing when and how to end a story. One of those writing posts that go around here mentioned going back a couple of paragraphs when you get stuck, which has been so true for me. But endings are still so hard. Writing sex is still weird, too, and I can get stuck on a single scene for days. Coming up with titles is also so, so hard. Occasionally one will appear and I'll run with it, but usually it's one of the last things done before I post. I'm really not happy with the titles for my Ace Week fics.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Do you mean including characters speaking a different language and writing their dialogue in that language? A block of text in another language is rough on a reader and there's not really a good work around. Asterisks to the bottom of the page don't work on A03.

If I want a reader to know what a character is saying, I'd make note of the language change and use italics in dialogue but otherwise write normally. If the characters are in a situation where I DON'T want them or the reader to understand, then I'd type the language in italics.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I've written what I would now call fanfic off and on my whole life. When I was seven, I wrote a horribly indulgent self-insert fic of me joining the characters of one of my favorite book series (Pony Pals) for an adventure. In middle school, before the publication of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, I wrote my own version. I think I filled like two notebooks. I wonder if it's still around somewhere - I had some good ideas, some that were better than canon ended up imo

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Running on Empty! I loved it as one chapter but I really enjoy the whole story as it turned out in three. The only big thing I might change is tweaking the emotions Maverick feels after he and Ice finally get together. But that story flowed so well while writing and I really loved the world that I created with their families and especially Lisa and Jason for Slider. Plus I feel like that fic really addresses some of the trauma that Maverick went through and how he wasn't getting the support he needed in the OG movie.

That went long! Thanks again to @acetonitril for tagging me in this. I'm sure everyone else has already chimed in, but feel free to jump in if not. These are some great questions!

#wordsonamission writes

[peachyloveswriting]

Questions concerning this post

Hi, I posted a sneak peak of something I'm working on, the link is in the title but if you don't see it here you go.

(the post)

If anyone has any questions concerning the fic don't be scared to drop by my ask box or message me, I don't mind answering your questions. That aside I actually want to discuss something different. It's come to my attention that a few people are interested in the fic and would like to read it so I'm making a public announcement about it. I'll be addressing a few other things as well including about the fic so if ur interested u know what to do.

I'll be talking about:

The new fic + my disappearance

The Yancy fic + why I stopped working on it and what's in store

What's going on now

The fic is unfinished, I'm still in the process of writing it. I haven't really told anyone about it because I feel like if I told others I might not finish it. So I won't be giving away many details about it (I'm sorry for those that were hoping lol) I stopped posting because I was working on this story day and night, I wanted it to be perfect and I still do. I've been working on the book for about two months, and during this time school started back up. I've been working on it every moment I get the chance and I'm really proud of how far I've gotten. The book is currently 95k words and part 1 has a confirmed 27 chapters. This is by far the biggest thing I have ever worked on the and most important project to me. I can't wait for when I finish it and I'm able to post it for everyone to see and I hope your as excited as I am.

My disappearance and the fic isn't the only thing I want to talk about, I also want to bring up the Yancy fic for those who are curious. If you don't know what the Yancy fic is, it's a story I started two months ago and never finished. Sadly I do not know if I'll finish it and I apologize heavily for that. The reason I stopped working on was I was having an extremely hard time figuring out how I actually wanted the story to go. I don't know Yancy's character well enough to write something that huge, I was way in over my head and I knew I was falling out of my obsession with Markiplier I shouldn't have started it to begin with. I apologize to everyone who was waiting for the next chapter, don't get your hopes up but if I get motivation I'll finish it. I'm sorry.

After deciding to take a small "break" from the Yancy fic I started losing interest in the Markiplier cinematic universe; I still love the characters and everything my obsession just isn't as strong and that's why I fell of the wagon. After that, I started looking for something else to attach to but nothing new was catching my interest so I resorted back to my old obsession with the batfam. The last time I was in this fandom I was about nine years old and now I'm 17, it's amazing lol. But jokes aside my Batman phase is what started my writing career and to think I'm coming back to it now that I'm so much better makes me happy especially since my mental health was at an ATL before I grasped it again.

I hope that my Yancy enjoyers will forgive me and the rest of your I'll stay for my rollercoaster of obsessions, love you all. Don't be afraid to ask em stuff in my inbox, I'm always happy to chat.

[scoups4lyfe]

Lmao hi! I always love your live blogging so much and I dont want to sound rude but I love how you collectively lost your mind sometimes lmao. But same tho. Its only ep 18 and someone close to the main cast already die. So I think it would just continue downhill from here.

Ah also, Idk if you active on Twitter but rumour has it that Kagerou gonna make an appearance again (well mostly bc the actor may or may not spoil it lmao) so I hope Kagerou would smack Olteca sksksksk.

Anyway, love your blog and the memes (nah bc like, how diligent are you making meme while live blogging? Thats really amazing). Thank you for your hard work and dont forget to rest up ✨

0whhhh ू(ʚ̴̶̷́ .̠ ʚ̴̶̷̥̀ ू) thnnnnx so much anon

'I don't want to sound rude'

brooooo. ahahahaha *SMOOCH* you didn't sound rude AT ALL <33333. This was sooooo nice <33333, made me smile :))

And also --- to all the other potential anons or idk anyone I guess LOL; y'all don't gotta worry about sounding rude

like, it has no effect on me.

So don't cha worry about antagonizing me <3333 in fact..

I WANT y'all to antagonize me. Just makes me more >:DD pOWERFUL.

To give you some visual imagery of my personality, for better grounds of interaction, I made this CHART:

Now, 'what does this even mean?' You might be askin.

WELL. I'm the clown emoji. Both of them.

(Also I put Banjo and Sento on here cause I'm similar to them both in different ways. Like Sento, I'm a freak that has genius qualities-but only at very certain specific things, all other times just imagine Banjou Ryuga when thinking of me cause--- headass we're almost exactly the same person LOL!)

The only fool on this chart I'd never put in my 'reminds me of myself :))' journal would be Ikki <33. The only similar trait we have is himbo jock energy. But I just wanted him on this chart LOL!

Me and George are similar in that 🤝🤝 we're both freak-bastards; but unlike George I'm a gremlin (like Oltecca <333) instead of a King LOL!

BACK TO ANON

(lol) I do NOT have a twitter. My chat friends Nacho and J have placed bets to when I'll finally make an account and just finish fully falling straight into depravity. (Not that I"m callin' twitter users depraved, but if *I* was a twitter user I would be depraved. Is the thing.)

(Imagine: GEORGE, and/or OLTECCA cause on twitter I'd be a mix of the two.)

And damn I would nOT be surprised if Kageoru pops in LOL!! I was always waiting for Daiji's other shoe to drop, and that subtle

ominious-ass

smile Daiji had on his face while lookin at Ikki's crisped unconscious body haunts me.

Now, would he smack Oltecca? You never kno with that guy. I would be UN-surprised if instead of fighting him he gave that stupid squid a kiss on the lips. Why? Because Kagerou and Oltecca are two sides of the same coin 😛😛.

and THANKS man ;~~~~; aGAIN for liking my dumb asf jokes LOL!!

Nacho linked me a seXy website that makes creating and editing memes as easy as stealing candy from a baby, except you steal the baby too. It's just that easy. Besides, if I didn't make them in theee moment, while I'm thinking of it--

I would and wILL literally forget, because

(I guess Takamichi also could've been put on the graph....LOL)

.....like that dumb <3 ass I have the mind of a bird. If I can't see it, I won't even think of it.

xxxxxxx annon <333. (๑❛ ▿ ◠๑ )

#reading this #was so cute #haha rlly said 'dont wanna be rude' and then said the nicest things ever #so funny #man even if u werE rude it wouldn't matter #cause I caN'T fkING rEAD lol #<3333 #i'd apologize for the long post #but i still haven't grasped that anyone reads these posts LOL #every character on the chart (except Ikki) is similar to me in one way or another. lmaOOO #I wouldn't even tHINK of putting myself on the 'meow meow' scale #but ngl 2021 hit me like s TRuCK ahahaha #I lost a lot of weight.....like 10 lbs in a WEEK literally I was weighing myself around the time #because my diet had to change #according to the doctor...I am allergic to fkING eVerythiNG. #can't eat wheat #can't eat peanuts #can't eat eggs #diary products were ALREADy off the table #but damn #eGGS??? fk meeee man #living gluten free and egg/milk free in america is equivalent to #eating dirt every day for nutrients #as they would rather serve you dirt than food #and you'd sooner find options in the dirt than in a store or restaurant #so fking MEOW MEOW to me lOL #even went to the ER and everything :DD #kronthescoup #revice spoilers #ikki why is ur demon so cringe

[ashesandhackles]

if you're still doing the character ask meme, then regulus and lucius malfoy? i really liked your answers so far btw, even the crack/silly ones!

I am glad you are enjoying the crack/ silly ones xD

• favourite thing about them

Regulus: the grandiose "fuck you" letter to Voldemort.

Lucius: That he is our antagonist for both Chamber of Secrets & Prisoner of Azkaban and he is comically defeated in both? He is the Embodiment of Evil Rich People who exploit the system, positioned as against well meaning commoner Arthur in CoS + Hagrid in POA. Both Ginny and Buckbeak escape his machinations, thanks to our pesky kid protagonists.

• least favourite thing about them

Regulus: This is less about Regulus but more about the reading "Regulus was kind to Kreacher therefore Kreacher is loyal"? If you grow up in a household that likes to cut off their slaves' heads and put it up as decoration, you are going to absorb fucked up, dehumanising attitude towards house elves. It makes more sense to read both Regulus and Sirius's responses to Kreacher as a manifestation of their relationship with the Black family, where both of these privileged teenagers cannot fully grasp the power dynamic between themselves and the family servant. Regulus's issue with Voldemort is less about Voldemort leaving Kreacher the house elf to die, and more about Voldemort exploiting and throwing away a sentient being that represents the "Most Noble and Most Ancient House of Black". Voldemort disrespected the Black family by doing that, and that is what Regulus cannot abide by. Kreacher is loyal to Regulus because Regulus displayed values Walburga cherishes, "proper wizarding pride" and Regulus was good to him as an extension of the family. Harry in turn gains confidence and trust of Kreacher by validating and respecting Kreacher's core value of feelings of loyalty to Black family, and not out of "kindness" (which Hermione repeatedly displays and gets rejected for).

Lucius: I mean, there is so much to dislike, one doesn't know where to begin lol ... I guess that he escapes jail time post canon?

• favourite line

Regulus: "It was I who discovered your secret" - look at the amount of pride in this sentence. He was most probably an arrogant little shit like his brother.

Lucius: i can't think of anything from the books, so I am going to go with Jason Isaac's delivery of "I don't know" when Ralph Fiennes' Voldemort asks him, "how do you live with yourself Lucius?"

• broTP

Regulus: Sirius. Sirius clearly displays some complicated feelings about him. Given that his brother was a Death Eater and his parents were not, the difference in feelings and criticism of his brother vs his parents is very telling - "stupid idiot". Something he calls James in the same book. Regulus's room is also left untouched while Sirius spends an entire summer throwing out everything related to the Black family, again a very telling sign.

BroTP: Snape, I guess? Sirius calls him Lucius' lapdog, which can be read multiple ways but it is clearly suggesting that, in Sirius' eyes, young Snape was a bit of a try hard with Lucius. Snape has pretty complicated feelings about Malfoys, as the sorting memory implies that Lucius sort of took him under his wing and in adulthood takes on the task of protecting Draco.

• OTP

Regulus: we get nothing in canon, so I don't know. I know Jegulus is a popular ship, but it always felt like Prongsfoot-lite to me.

Lucius: Narcissa.

• nOTP

Regulus: Kreacher. Yes this cursed content exists.

Lucius: haven't thought about this much. Anyone other than Narcissa perhaps is a nOTP? The dude is not great.

• random headcanon

Regulus: adopting @mrs-stubby-boardman hc of him being a good painter.

Lucius: Ginny got to punch him once at a Ministry party for slipping Tom Riddle's diary. She punched him for a completely unrelated remark/shenanigans, but they both know what it is really for.

• unpopular opinion

Regulus: probably died a blood supremacist still. His disillusionment with Voldemort was personal.

Lucius: I mean this should be obvious to anyone reading the books but it keeps showing up in fanon often enough that this is a unpopular opinion - he didn't abuse Draco. He spoiled him.

• songs I associate with them

Regulus: my gift of Silence - Blackfield

Lucius: for the minor antagonist/villainy vibes

• favourite picture of them

Regulus: This one. Stunning.

Lucius: This OT3 vibe with Narcissa and Snape.

#asks #regulus black

[txemrn]

The Picture Show

Book: TNA

Rating: fluffy; smidge of sensuality, smidge of angst

Word count: exactly 2000

A/N: Oof! I wanted to participate in wacky drabbles #102 this week, but long story short, the week got away from me, and I am painfully late in posting! That's okay, though! It's going up anyway, and I'm sure they won't mind me using their prompt (prompt will be in bold)! Huge thanks to @kat-tia801 for brainstorming this fic with me, and thank you to @chemist-ana for pre-reading (and convincing me it wasn't dumb lol). As always, these characters belong to our friends at Pixelberry (also, Caroline is the name I've given Sam's first wife; even though we know her real name now, old habits die hard... wow, pun not intended!).

***

A crisp, cool breeze manifests a gentle oasis for the gathered movie-goer crowd on the humid city street. Waiting in line to purchase tickets for their impromptu date night, Brynn casually ties a knot in the front of her knit band tee, exposing a thin strip of her Tuscany-sun-kissed skin. Finger-combing her almond waves, she tosses her careless strands into a perfectly teased bun to enjoy the reprieve from the stifling August heat.

“You’re making this too easy for me.” The familiar, smoky whisper sends a pleasure-filled jolt down Brynn’s spine as his breathy chuckles tickle her ear. His fingertips pad across her midriff, tucking his sizable hand into the front of her jeans. His other hand cups around her head as he presses his plump pout to the sensitive spots of her neck. “So, what’ll it be tonight: Melissa McCarthy telling jokes for two hours or scary paranormal demons?”

“The difference being?” Brynn jokes, pulling Sam’s hand out of her pants, lacing her fingers with his.

“Touché,” he chuckles, hiding a wide grin. Their lips meet together for a simple kiss just as the ticket booth attendant motions for them to approach. After collecting their tickets for the latest horror flick, the young couple approach the concession counter. “Wanna share a popcorn?”

Brynn’s eyes light up as she eagerly nods her head. “And gummy worms, please!”

“You are just as bad as the boys--”

“What does that mean?” Brynn jovially pinches Sam, aiming for his chest.

“Let’s just say that gummy worms were never on the weekly grocery list until you came around,” he smirks, raising an eyebrow while guarding his nipples.

“See? I improved your life in more ways than one,” Brynn quips.

Sam lets out a hearty laugh, pulling Brynn’s body closer to his. “Mmmm--” he kisses one side of her neck, “--so many--” he kisses the other side of her neck, his hand grazing the curve of her ass, “--different--” he suddenly squeezes hard, making Brynn yelp, “--ways--” he captures her lips in a hungry kiss.

A clearing of a throat abruptly interrupts the moment. “‘Scuse me, but did you want butter on your popcorn, sir?” Sam’s cheeks burn red as Brynn chuckles through a nod. “That’ll be twenty-eight eighty-one.”

Sam quickly double-takes as he pulls out his wallet. “I’m sorry,” he grins politely, “did you say almost thirty dollars? For popcorn and gummy worms?”

“And your wife wanted a large Coke Zero.”

Brynn smiles brightly as she dramatically slurps on a straw. “Yes, husband, your wife wanted a large Coke Zero,” she sardonically mimics the concession worker, batting her eyes innocently.

Sam lowers his voice. “For thirty dollars?”

“Actually for twenty-eight eighty-one,” the teenage attendant corrects.

“You’ll have to excuse him,” Brynn pats Sam’s chest, winking at him endearingly before turning her attention to the cashier. “He hasn’t been to the movies since de Blasio took office.”

The attendant gives a confused look. “Who?”

Brynn stifles a laugh. “Exactly.” She looks warmly up at Sam as he boops her on the nose, grinning smugly at her. She puts her hand in his hand that is holding his wallet. “I’ve got this, old man.”

“Absolutely not.” Sam pulls his hand away from hers. “What kind of gentleman do you take me for?”

“Sam, it’s not a big deal,” she reaches for his wallet. “You are always paying. Let me do this tonight. My treat.” He quickly snatches his wallet, lifting it above her head while shaking his head. “Samuel!” she titters, stretching to grab his wallet. “Why are you being so difficult? Put that away.”

“Brynn, c’mon, there are people waiting--”

“Exactly. Let me pay.” She pushes her petite body in front of Sam’s as she reaches for her own wallet. “Here, sir,” she motions to the cashier as she begins to pull out two twenty-dollar bills.

“No. Brynn!” Sam loops his arm in front of Brynn’s body, shielding her from pulling her money out. “Stop that!” He turns to the concession attendant. “Here, take my card--”

Brynn swats at Sam's hand, accidentally knocking his wallet out of his grasp, the contents of the billfold dumping out onto the counter. Brynn cups her mouth, laughing at an irritated Sam who is taking a large deep breath, pinching the bridge of his nose. She quickly hands her money to the attendant before turning her attention to Sam. “C’mon, let’s get this cleaned up--”

And suddenly, there it was, splayed out for both Sam and Brynn to see together: a picture of Sam’s late wife. In the nude.

Sam quickly snatches the picture up as well as his cards and cash, hoping Brynn didn't notice. When he looks back up, Brynn is already giving their tickets to the attendant to be admitted into the theater.

She noticed.

“Brynn--”

“I--I think I’m gonna need some more napkins,” she nervously interrupts, an out-of-breath pant to her voice.

“Ma’am? There are napkins inside," helpfully offered a worker.

“Oh,” Brynn appears defeated, refusing to look at Sam. “I’ll go grab our seats then,” she offers, power-walking away from her boyfriend.

“Brynn? Brynn?” His voice carries over the bustling hallway, but she doesn’t slow down. Once in the theater, Brynn anxiously stumbles in the low-lighting, picking out seats. Catching up to her, Sam’s hands kindly grip her shoulders. “Brynn. Please. Talk to me.”

She cordially smiles at him. “Talk about what?” She sits down, nervously pawing to open her bag of gummy worms.

Sam steals the bag of candy from Brynn. “Are you seriously going to pretend that didn’t just happen?”

“Pretend that what didn’t just happen--”

Putting his hands on his hips, he raises his voice. “You seeing my wife’s tits.” With the sudden cascade of snickers and gasps from fellow patrons turning to stare, Brynn grabs Sam’s arm, yanking him down into his seat.

Sam leans over, whispering into Brynn’s ear. “Please, let’s just talk about this--”

“There’s nothing to talk about, Sam,” her eyes stare intently at the large white screen.

“You’re mad.”

“I’m not mad.” Brynn begins wringing her hands as her foot nervously bounces. “I just,” she sighs before becoming quiet, her voice audibly shaking, “I--I didn’t know. I mean--damnit, Sam, you keep a photo of her in your wallet?”

“Of my wife?" He enunciates, making Brynn feel foolish. "Is that wrong of me?”

“No,” Brynn’s lower lip begins to tremble, “yes? I--I don’t know, Sam. I don’t know what I’m supposed to think right now. I figured you'd have a picture of her. Just with, uh, I mean. She would be, um--"

"Clothed?" Sam smirks.

Brynn gradually looks into Sam's eyes, but finds herself abruptly avoiding his gaze as questions flood her mind. Why would he be keeping a nude photo of his late wife? How often does he look at it? Is that even her business to know? To care?

The house lights turn down as the roar of advertisements brightly flood the screen. Brynn rests her chin in her hand, fighting tears. Even though the excitement of the music and vivid colors enthralls the audience, Brynn is a million miles away. She feels completely confused as to how to feel about this situation. Was she even allowed to be upset about this? Why couldn’t things just be simple for once in their relationship?

“Brynn?” Sam beckons for her from the clouds, bringing her back to reality. He lifts up the armrest between them. Wrapping an arm around her shoulders, he pulls her into his chest, peppering her hair with kisses.

As the movie ends, Sam and Brynn remain silent, making their exit to the streets of New York. After a few blocks, Sam stops, sensing Brynn’s heightened emotions. He can tell she’s still bothered by what happened before the movie.

He sighs heavily. “Let’s talk about it.”

Brynn lets go of his hand, scoffing, spinning around to see if anyone was watching. After a few moments of silence, she can feel the heat budding in her cheeks. She crosses her arms, and while staring at Sam, she lets out an inaudible ‘okay’.

With sincerity in his voice, Sam locks eyes with Brynn. "I honestly haven't looked at that picture in months. I completely forgot that I even had it. But--” he hesitates for a second, choosing his words wisely, “--throwing it away seems like the wrong thing to do."

"Caroline* and I didn't have sex until our wedding night." Brynn's eyebrows furrow before her eyes widen in shock. Sam continues. "She wanted to wait until marriage, especially given," he takes a deep breath, "my past--which you know about." Brynn nods. "But then the night before our wedding,” a smile blossoms across his face in remembrance, “she gifted me this wallet. With this picture. She said it was her promise to me--her all to me. I know you see a nude picture. But,” he sighs nervously as his eyes glaze with tears, “it’s always been so much more than that.”

Brynn considers his words, a warm smile growing on her face. She finally holds out her hand, for Sam to take. “Let’s go home.”

The next night, Brynn did bedtime alone with the boys. The penthouse had been fairly quiet throughout the day, even after Sam came home late from work. There is still an awkwardness in the air, and even though Brynn and Sam weren’t angry with each other, they also didn’t know what to say.

Closing the twin’s bedroom door, Brynn quietly tiptoes to the home office in her robe, knowing Sam is lost in his paperwork. She cautiously knocks on the door. After a few moments, the door whips open, Sam grabbing Brynn and jerking her inside.

“Since when do we knock on doors, babe?” Sam sits back into his leather tufted chair, pulling Brynn onto his lap, endearingly rubbing circles on her lower back.

“I--I wasn’t sure if you were busy, or--or if you--”

Sam holds his hand over her mouth, a smile growing across his face. “You know better.” He grabs her hand, kissing the back of it. “Now, what’s going on?”

Brynn coyly looks up at Sam, clearly nervous to ask her next question. “Can I see your wallet?”

Sam’s face falls, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “Why?”

“I want to see it.”

Sam can’t bring his attention to Brynn. He never removed that photo of his first wife, nor did he know how Brynn was currently feeling about the nude picture. All he does know is he better pull out his wallet. And start praying for mercy.

Brynn stands up, circling around Sam’s office chair. Sam reaches in his back pocket, pulling out the wallet. Brynn wraps her arms around his shoulders, brushing her nose against his ear. “Open it,” she commands with a sensual, husky tone.

Sam dutifully opens his wallet to the plastic picture holder. His cheeks begin to swelter with pink growing down his neck. He can feel a queasiness growing in his gut as he lays it out for Brynn to see.

“Aren’t you going to look?”

“Brynn?” He throws off her arms, becoming irritated. “What kind of game--?”

And that’s when he sees it: a picture of his stunning girlfriend, carefully photographed in the nude with her hands posing perfectly across her assets.

Sam’s eyes quickly dart around the room, finding Brynn locking the door and uncinching her robe. Letting the fabric pool on the floor, she straddles her naked body across his lap, his hands unable to resist.

Brynn grabs the wallet, pulling out the nude photos of herself and Sam’s first wife. “This may have been her promise to you, and you can keep it for as long as you want,” Brynn pulls out her photo, handing it to Sam. "But, this. This is my promise to you, Sam Dalton." She leans over, stealing his breath with a fervent kiss. “I love you.”

Cupping her cheek, Sam’s eyes gather tears as he looks admirably at his new forever. “I love you, too.”

***

Tags: @ao719 @charlotteg234 @chemist-ana @choiceskatie @forallthatitsworth @jessiembruno @kat-tia801 @khoicesbyk @lovelyladyk88 @lucy-268 @neotericthemis @nestledonthaveone @phoenixrising308 @sfb123 @shannonwrote @shewillreadyou @taniasethi @thefrenchiemama

#the nanny affair #the nanny affair book 2 #m!sam dalton x mc #sam dalton x mc #choices sam dalton #choices fandom #choices fanfiction #choices tna #sam dalton

[glittergelpenstudies]

How I take notes

For me, note taking is a bit of a lengthy process since it involves several steps, but it does aid me a lot in my studies as it really helps me retain the information from my lectures, so I thought I'd share my technique in case anyone is interested 📝

The Cornell method

So I have been using the Cornell note taking system for about a year, and I absolutely love it. For those of you not familiar with the technique, you basically split the page into a larger main note taking section, a margin for annotations, and a section at the bottom where you summarise the page, as shown below:

I like to split my note taking process into three smaller processes - Note taking before class, in class, and outside of class.

Before class

Make notes from the professor's Powerpoint presentation. In this step, I just pretty much straight up copy the bullet points from the Powerpoint presentation. This is done in the "notes" section of my notebook page in black ink (for the most part). Headers and vocabulary are highlighted and I might make little diagrams to visualise the topic. Don't worry about making your notes Aesthetic™ - You're doing this for your own understanding, not to gain anybody's approval. Copying the professor's Powerpoint beforehand makes it so that I have ready-made notes before the lecture has started and gives a grasp of what will be covered by the professor. At this point, you don't actually need to understand the material, since it will be explained during the lecture, but I usually process it at least a little bit while writing it down in my notes, which at least gives me a shallow understanding. If I have any questions on anything in particular in the presentation, I note it down in the margin in green ink and then see if the question's answered during the lecture.

In class

Listen and add details. A nice aspect of having ready-made notes is that it's a lot easier to follow the lecture, since you don't have to stress over writing down everything that's said. Instead, I just look out for details or explanations that weren't given in the Powerpoint presentation and write these in the margin of my notes in pencil (I like using pencil because it's easy to erase if I make any mistakes). This gives me a moderate to good understanding of the topic depending on how complicated it is and how much I zone out in class lol.

After class

Finish filling in the gaps. This is where I might read complementary chapters in whatever textbook I have or look up the answer for any unanswered questions related to the topic. Everything added in this phase is added to the margin of my notes or on sticky notes if there's not enough room in the margin.

Make summary questions. This step, I prefer doing at most 24 h after the lecture, while the information still is fresh in my memory, but that might not always be possible with deadlines and preparations for other lectures getting in the way. Anyway, for this step, you should read through each page of your lecture notes and formulate questions that can be used to sum up the most important information on each page. I usually write these in the margin or on small post-it notes in red ink. At this point, you should be getting a pretty solid grasp of the topic and understand everything you've gone over.

Summarise! I like performing this step during weekends since I then don't have to prepare any new lecture notes. This is where you use the summary section at the bottom of the page to summarise each page of your notes using the summary questions you've formulated. I usually answer the summary questions in full sentences in the form of bullet points. I always write my summaries in red and green ink. This step is great for memorisation, since I find that having to recall the answer to a question makes it even easier to recall later.

Bonus tip

Keep a lecture notebook. If you haven't had time to prepare notes beforehand, or if you run out of margin space in class, keep an extra lecture notebook with you where you can scribble that information that isn't available in the professor's presentation. You can later add this information to your nicer, more organised notes after class.

This might not be the most original note taking method, but it's definitely my favourite and I really recommend it 🌼

#study tips #original post

[tenacityblitz]

all the numbers u haven't done

roleplaying habits questions.

1. what’s a grammar rule you find yourself breaking or ignoring a lot?

Offhand I can’t really think of anything?? English is my first language so I don’t knowingly break any grammar rules anyway. Unless possible excessive use of commas counts bc I use commas a lot.

2. are there any languages besides english in which you think you could comfortably roleplay?

Unless Gibberish counts bc I learned that stupid crack language back when I was a kid but good lord I would not have the patience to actually type out a reply like that. 

3. how often do you reach for a synonym dictionary when writing? how about mentally?

Sometimes but not too frequently. Depends on how flowery I’m trying to write something or if I’m thinking of a word but I don’t like the first descriptive word that came to mind for what I’m trying to express.

4. how often do you need to translate your own or the other’s writing with a dictionary or google when writing and reading replies?

Never tbh. Especially since I don’t RP in any other languages, all my RP partners have a good enough grasp on English that I can always tell what they were at least trying to say in their reply.

5. do you listen to music while your write?

I used to need music playing in the background to help me focus on doing drafts, but nowadays I need more silence than anything to help focus and produce what I think is a quality response to a longer thread. Short one or two liner things idc what’s in the background. 

6. do you have ideal writing circumstances when you can do a lot of drafts or tackle really long ones very easily?

I can fluctuate with when I best write. Typically I write better at night when the house is quiet and any noise happening in the house is a noise I make, but I’ve had writing inspiration hit me at any time of the day before.

7. are you a morning, day, evening, or night writer?

Bold of you to assume I’m awake during morning hours that don’t include 5 AM bc I’m still awake haha. When I’m not swamped with commissions to do I typically write better during the day or at night when I’m the only person awake in the house and I don’t have any outside distractions from a person IRL.

8. how does tiredness affect your writing?

Not overly so sometimes, I know there’ve been times in the past where I powered through replies even though I wanted to go to bed just because I was riding the motivation train and I didn’t want to lose it and not get to those last replies for who knows how long. But on Discord at least I often have reply to Discord threads be one of the last things I do before I go to sleep so I go to bed knowing I don’t owe anyone a reply on there.

9. have you ever written a serious reply intoxicated?

Not a serious reply anyway. I’ve been on the dashboard before while intoxicated (ColossalCon East was a prime example haha) but I’ve never really RP’d while that intoxicated

10. how much do you proof-read as you are writing vs. proof-read at the end?

I’ll proof read as I go but also give it one last read before I actually hit publish.

11. when you are writing a reply, how much ahead in the thread do you plan?

Entirely depends on the thread. I could write it on the fly or I could have days to think about it from external factors keeping me from getting to the reply as soon as it comes back to me.

12. is there ever been a time when you’ve had to drop a roleplaying partner because you’ve found their writing style exhausting?

Yes actually, gather round for RP horror storytime haha. Flash back to 2013 while I was still in the Black Butler fandom. I stupidly decided to give writing Sebastian a try at the request of a Ciel I’d made friends with (probably through my old Alois or Lizzie blog). She was a nice enough girl, close enough to my age so she seemed plenty mature, and had been what I thought was a good enough writer to warrant trying my hand at a muse I wouldn’t have otherwise thought to try. Legit within days of me making the Sebastian blog she was getting super clingy in her IC posts making Ciel a whiny baby missing Sebastian, would try and guilt me in IC posts to get on and write with her, and I dealt with it for about two weeks before I deleted Sebastian’s blog without warning and deleted the girl off Skype. To this day it’s the only blog I think I’ve ever consciously deleted.

13. does writing roleplay things in public spaces make you uncomfortable?

Not really? I wouldn’t be crazy about a stranger reading over my shoulder while I was writing bc that’s just weird, but I’ve gone to Starbucks or one of the local malls before on my off days (back when I was still at my last job) and I’d do RP stuff there just to get out of the house.

14. how often do you need to change the icon in your reply while or after writing the reply?

Typically I don’t put in icons until I’m done writing the reply unless I go into the reply knowing exactly which one I want to use, or think of a good one while I’m writing it out.

15. do you first get in the “zone” when writing, or do you start writing and “enter” it that way?

Nowadays I just start writing and then get into the zone after I get the first reply done. Discord replies I can chug out any time of day without difficulty, but for whatever reason Tumblr I have to be in the right mindset for. 

16. what is your biggest obstacle to writing every day, if time doesn’t count?

Back when I was at my last job, it would be getting a lot of writing muse while I was busy at work and unable to get on my own laptop or sneak onto Tumblr on an office computer and at least type out the bulk of a reply (yes I was employee of the month many times haha), and by the time I was able to get to my own computer or be safe enough to get on a work computer, that writing muse would be gone.

17. what’s your inbox count currently? what did you do to get it so high/low?

Right now I have 15 IC asks. I won’t lie, two of them are from last years Valentine’s Day bc I was away at Katsucon at the time of receiving them and by the time I got home I still just never got around to answering the asks, but I didn’t want to delete them either so I just kept them for posterity. Some are from this past Christmas that I was terrible and haven’t answered yet bc I’ve been so swamped with commissions, some are from other random meme’s I’ve reblogged and gotten an ask or two for and also just never got around to. I’m horrible at replying to asks most of the time and I know it but I always appreciate whenever people take the time to send me an IC one.

18. how many drafts is a paralysing amount?

I’d guess I’d say over 15 like para thread replies would make me be like -insert meme song- ‘how could this happen to meeeee’. I’m not quite at that point yet but I’ll get there eventually if I’m not careful lol.

19. if you are writing a wrong reply that’s not working out, do you save what you have to be continued at another date, or do you scrap it and rewrite?

Usually I would just draft what I have and go back to it. I can’t remember the last time I scrapepd an unfinished draft and completely rewrote it.

20. longest reply you’ve ever writen on mobile?

N/A because I don’t do replies on mobile. I’ll send asks on mobile but I never reply to actual IC things while on my phone unless it’s something stupid and cracky or one-liner-ish.

21. does the total amount of threads you have going on matter to you, or just how many you owe?

Doesn’t really matter. I can have one thread with one person, I could have five threads with one person. @shinvcho is an example of the latter lol

22. what’s your thought process when you format? any unspoken rules you follow?

I’ve kept to the same formatting for years and years tbh. I’m too lazy to do excessive formatting beyond italicizing and/or bolding specific words for emphasis and spacing out the start of a new paragraph. Anything more than that to me is just tedious and unnecessary; I don’t want to make it difficult for my partners to read.

23. how does your follower count affect your mood?

Anyone who says they don’t appreciate or enjoy even a small spike in followers is a liar, because we live in an age where validation is held in high regard and it feels good to get the validation of seeing more people enjoy what we do on our blogs enough to put us on their dashboards. But it also doesn’t really matter to me when I lose followers because I have a mutual checker so I can unfollow a mutual back if they did so first so I don’t feel uncomfy still following someone who no longer wanted me on their dash lol.

#ooc #THIS IS WHY I QUESTIONED HOW MUCH U ACTUALLY LOVE ME I HAD TO DO BASICALLY ALL OF THEM LOL #creturae

[the-sapphire-general]

My Thoughts and Feelings About Sephiroth (Part 3)

Well I did say I would make a third part if I had more in mind about Sephiroth. And much to my surprise, there is more! So here it is! Parts 1 and 2 can be found here so you can keep up just in case I mention anything from those posts:

My Thoughts and Feelings About Sephiroth (Part 1)

My Thoughts and Feelings About Sephiroth (Part 2)

Now this one will be a little different because I will include more about the portrayals I've seen throughout the Internet, my own opinions about them, and my own portrayal. Plus I will include the essay I wrote about him for one of my college courses and I might say random things about Sephiroth that I will discuss. 

First will be the portrayals of Sephiroth I have noticed throughout the Internet. I will not attack any of these or offend anyone who has these headcanons. I respect everybody's headcanons, and it's a good thing too because being a jerk to anyone who has portrayals that are different from yours is stupid and a waste of time. I have friends whose portrayals are varied, and we don't fight over how Sephiroth should act. Love them, hate them, be neutral to them, just as long as you handle this in a mature manner. 

Now I have mentioned the portrayal of Sephiroth where he's unnaturally hypersexual in part 1, so I will not go into detail about it anymore. It's already been done. Another one I will not discuss again is the mindless killing machine portrayal (mentioned in part 2). To those who do or like these portrayals, I dislike them but I will respect your choice.

Now for the portrayals. The ones I really enjoy are the ones for his Crisis Core self (or pre-Nibelheim if you want to put it that way). As I have stated before, I can relate to his past personality, so I really like a lot of the headcanons. Picturing him, say, struggling to socialize, not knowing much of certain things (i.e. video games), spending time with friends, basically being human is heartwarming for me. I take it a lot of people like CC Sephiroth, and who wouldn't? There was this one story where Sephiroth took a liking to lemon drops, which is one thing I added to my own headcanon page on my blog. I found it rather sweet and cute. That's like me but with chocolate. I love chocolate. And then there's one where he has no idea what a sitcom is due to his sheltered upbringing, and it was pretty amusing to picture Genesis and Angeal trying to explain it to him as they watched TV. There are many others that I don't think I can list since there are so many of them, and for a lot of them, I like them. There's some that I don't, but that's just my personal opinion.

Now for the Sephiroth we all know after the Nibelheim Incident. Man, I'm beginning to remember what I've read. It's hard for me to find some portrayals that I like because the ones I've seen so far were unsettling. Sephiroth being a sadistic rapist is one of the worst ones I've seen so far. Not as in the stories are poorly written or something like that but for me, it's one of my least favorite portrayals. I get that he lost his mind, but I believe he wouldn't go that far. I wouldn't go that far with my own portrayal because it just makes me feel uncomfortable. Just thinking about it makes me uneasy.

I confess that I don't know my limits when it comes to portraying Sephiroth. For a long time, I've been trying to grasp his evil demeanor and I still hesitate to go further and struggle to get inside his head sometimes. So I don't know how far I can go with dark, twisted, cruel scenarios, but rape is one of my limits. I won't reveal the user, but I was recently asked if I could do necrophilia. When I got the question, I was speechless. That's another one of my limits. I really can't imagine Sephiroth being...intimate with a corpse. Much to my relief, they respected my opinion. And I like that. People should respect others because everyone has limits and if I have to force myself to write Sephiroth doing rape, acting all creepily intimate around Jenova, asphyxiation (as in the kink), or something that I don't see him doing, I won't enjoy the roleplays at all. I used to wish I could please everybody, but that's an impossible goal and I should keep in mind about what I want and don't want to do. Again, I don't know my limits too well, so if anyone wants to RP with me on my Sephiroth blog and it involves something that you're not sure if I accept or not, please message me. I'll try to get out of my comfort zone, but please respect my limits. If I don't do certain things, there are other Sephiroth blogs out there. It's simple and it will prevent pointless drama.

My portrayal for Sephiroth is close to his canon self but mixed with his CC side and my own headcanons. I try to stay close to canon as I write, and I silently read what I wrote and then read it out loud while picturing Sephiroth saying it. If what I wrote doesn't work, I revise them until they sound like Sephiroth. It's still not easy because I'm still struggling with his dark, insane, cruel self, the villain everyone knows and loves. One thing is certain is I do try my best to make him more human but still maintaining his character. I can't make him too human or else that ruins his cold and distant qualities, like making him fall madly in love with someone or bawling his eyes out. Now I haven't seen these examples anywhere, so I'm just throwing in random hypothetical headcanons here. The point is I do try my best not to make him too kind, soft, patient, you know, real nice or else that's not really Sephiroth. Lol But I also don't make him relentlessly cruel to the max 24/7. Both extremes aren't portrayals I like, so I am tackling middle ground. It's possible, and if others don't like my portrayal, that's fine, but they shouldn't judge me for it.

Since I'm discussing my own portrayal, I might as well explain other things about it. Let's see, he has interests outside of trying to destroy/conquer the world and messing with Cloud. My character is a loyal follower. Her profile isn't on my blog but her name is Maybelle Rose, and she's Sephiroth's love interest. Speaking of this, I make Sephiroth a bit of a Tsundere towards others, not necessarily involving romance like with Maybelle. He doesn't act like a stereotypical Tsundere, but he's a very, very subtle version. 

Romance. Now this is something that might piss off so many, but I can picture him in a relationship. No, I'm not talking about Crisis Core Sephiroth. I mean post-CC. Say what you want, but I can see it. If done well, it can work. I don't like following the stereotype that villains are incapable of love. Some villains can truly be incapable of love, but not ALL villains. It's not mandatory. A friend of mine claims that Sephiroth is bland. Now I completely disagree with his opinion, but it did give me confidence in pursing romance regarding Sephiroth. Heroes are written as human beings, why not do the same for villains? That's what makes characters compelling, it makes them real. That's what I'm basically trying to do with Sephiroth, and as challenging as it may be at times and despite people probably going against this idea as they read this, I'll do it. My blog now allows shippings. Yes, I now accept shippings. I used to not accept them, but I changed my mind. My reasons are shown in my rant here:

Sephiroth Fandom Rant

Okay I know I said I wouldn't mention the hypersexual Sephiroth portrayal, but I might as well. If he were in a romantic relationship, he wouldn't be like that. Sephiroth doesn't get horny around everyone. Seriously, he's not a sex-obsessed maniac. Sephiroth is a private man with dignity and he would never act extremely sexual, let alone sexual in general. He would be intimate with his significant other, but it would be in a normal level and he would be intimate in private. And I must add that my portrayal does involve Sephiroth having kinks, but he's not sex-obsessed like I said. He has self-control and he keeps things private. 

Now for the next thing. I wrote this essay over two years ago, and apparently I kept it after all this time. Lol Yes I wrote an essay about Sephiroth, back when I was still somewhat of a new fan. The assignment was to do a paper on a criminal, real or fictional, and diagnose them with specific personality disorders. However, it didn't mean that they HAD to have any of these disorders. We just had to show the instructor that we understood the material we have learned during class. Take a look at my essay here:

Essay on Sephiroth

Fun fact: My other choice for this assignment was Gaston from Beauty and the Beast. XD But Sephiroth was a better candidate and I was able to write more about him than I could have ever done about Gaston. Schizoid Personality Disorder and Antisocial Personality Disorder were two of the ten types of personality disorders that came close to Sephiroth's behavior. I don't consider either of these disorders as my personal headcanons for him. I honestly never did despite Schizoid PD being pretty close. And much to my shock, my instructor liked my paper and I wound up getting an A! I never got an A on any papers, so it felt amazing to finally get a grade that was higher than a C.

Speaking of psychology, one headcanon that's somewhere online is that Sephiroth has autism. Well, it is possible because I have a friend who is autistic, but during my research on this condition, I don't see Sephiroth as autistic. Sure some of his traits do seem to resemble signs and symptoms, but speculation isn't considered a confirmation that he has autism. He might have it but I would rather have Square Enix confirm it if he really is autistic. On another note, I do understand why they headcanon him as autistic. They relate to Sephiroth because some of his traits remind them of themselves. I get that and if they think he's autistic, that's okay with me. This headcanon is also given to Papyrus from Undertale and Pearl and Peridot from Steven Universe, so I'm familiar with this. Even L from Death Note is believed to be autistic. To be honest, I kind of believe it regarding L. That's just my opinion, though.

Tangent aside, courtesy of a friend, I am more intrigued by Sephiroth in a new level. Aside from his appearance and personality, his intelligence, the way he thinks has me curious. Yes I have been trying to get into his head to improve my portrayal, and I think I found a strategy. If I want to portray and act like Sephiroth, I have to think like him...in less destructive ways, might I add. Lol I may not be an expert as Sephiroth yet, but I'll get there. I've come this far on my blog, and I'm not throwing it all away. 

Speaking of my Sephiroth blog, besides that it would be fun and such, I created my own blog because I wanted to express my passion for him. He's one of my role models that made me stronger and I just really admire him. And like I said, I knew I could connect with other fans. Sure, there's a toxic side of the fandom, but that won't stop me. I did feel offended several days ago, as mentioned in my rant, but I'm fine now. In addition to my reasons, I didn't start the blog for fame. Popularity isn't really a big deal for me, I just want to show everyone how much of a Sephiroth fan I am in creative ways. Besides, I found the thought of portraying Sephiroth a fun challenge considering he's my opposite, and he pretty much started my fascination for villains. I also made friends thanks to the blog, one of them being my best friend here on Tumblr. :)

Now to finish this post with one more thing. When I was still a new Sephiroth fan, I confess that I tried to redeem him. Of course it was a difficult task to do for a story, and I admit I was determined to do it. However, as I kept going, I slowly realized doing this implied I didn't like him the way he is, the villain he is widely known as instead of what he used to be before discovering his origins. So I drifted away from redemption and focused on Sephiroth on who he is without changing him. Today, I love Sephiroth for who he is, cruel, cold, calculating, everything. Why change a character you're supposed to love? You wouldn't do that to a real-life partner, or anyone in general. Sephiroth wouldn't have liked me for trying to make him turn a new leaf. Lol So I never pursued redemption for him again. It was too hard anyway. It's like trying to redeem the Joker! That's how hard it was for me. So screw that mind-numbing task, Sephiroth should remain as the badass villain I have grown to love.

Well, this is it. For real this time! Lol This is my final part of the "My Thoughts and Feelings About Sephiroth" posts. I said everything I had to say about Sephiroth as I included all my thoughts, feelings, etcetera. I'm out of things to say about him, so no fourth post! XD If I ever have more Sephiroth-related comments that comes to mind, I'll just make small posts. Will I make more long posts like these? Perhaps. I had fun writing these posts. Maybe I can tackle other topics, or maybe talk about another character in detail. Well, see ya!

#sephiroth #final fantasy 7 #part 3