#but i try my best at portraying characters and emotions accurately

[diorsbrando]

I’D DIE FOR YOU (AND I HAVE). ( s.a. )

sousuke aizen & black!fem!reader.

cw ━━ ! minors, blank and ageless blogs DO NOT INTERACT. reader is portrayed as a black woman but you do not have to imagine her that way. using this map of the seireitei as a reference (i searched high and low for a consistent accurate one but it was hard). the first half is set pre-ryoka invasion / pre-soul society arc. the second half is aizen-centric (from his pov told from the 3rd person) and set post-tybw arc, years after he was sealed away in mugen, also including mention of events from vol. 1 of can't fear your own world (a light novel that's post-tybw & can be considered canonical); so all this being said: SPOILERS i guess???? of course you're welcome to read if you don't care about spoilers! somewhat based on 'die for you' by the weeknd & even more loosely based on 'dark red' by steve lacy. contains themes of heavy-ish angst, existential crises (?) & inner emotional turmoil within reader + aizen (separately). descriptions of character death, blood and violence. descriptions of manipulation/mind games. aizen is an unkind man. proofread (i did my best).

word count ━━ 11k

notes ━━ ! the way this fic was supposed to finished a month ago...but life once more gets in my way. and the way that it's this long....i anticipated the max being 10k but i greatly underestimated how long it would take to flesh out my idea. anywho i'm somewhat reentering my bleach era again. i’m not sure what it is but character analyses in the form of fanfiction is my jam rn like i really enjoyed writing this (i got tired of the length by like... 7k words lmao) but i like how this turned out. i've watched & read quite a bit of content that provide explanations as to why aizen is the way he is so i wanted to try my own portrayal of that in the context of canonical events. how i characterized him here is partially inspired by a fic i read about him last year so shout out to them for their support :D i hope i've depicted and humanized aizen well ♡. reblogs + commentary are heavily appreciated!!!!!

THE PAD OF YOUR THUMB SLOWLY glided against your bottom lip, the lingering aftertaste of jasmine tea still on its surface and on your breath. The absentminded motion of your thumb caressing your mouth, as if in deep contemplation, continued as you stared at the clock hanging on the wall above you.

It was past eleven, and the midnight hour only continued to draw near as time sustained its temporal march. And there you sat at your desk, floating in the limbo of your mind that was filled with hesitancy and admittedly, budding anticipation.

Your gaze lowered to the now empty porcelain cup, nothing remaining of its contents except the shriveled remnants of herbs and a few wayward drops of the brew.

Your senior comrade, captain Sōsuke Aizen, was correct in his prediction that you'd take a liking to its floral and delicate taste when he gifted you a jar full of the jasmine tea leaves as well as other ingredients.

The captain of Squad 5 seemed to be correct about a lot of things.

His intelligence and foresight, along with his kind and politely witty disposition, were qualities that you found somewhat charming, and gradually drew you closer to him.

Being the current third seat of the 9th company, your barracks and those of squad 5's were relatively close to each other's, so often you'd catch glimpses of and run into Captain Aizen on a pretty normal basis. Over the years, the conversations that bounced between the two of you expanded past the realm of formalities between a higher and lower ranking officer, and instead ranged in territories from literature, to art, to food & drink, and even to the politics of the government for which they were soldiers for.

Sometimes, you found it hard to believe that you managed to befriend a man like him. A man who seems to have mastered the balance between being a gentle soul, helpful to others, but also possessed enough refined power and skills to be named a captain within the Gotei 13.

Especially a man who wasn’t even of your own squad.

Despite the increasingly friendly relations and generally pleasant conversation, there were few moments where Aizen's words didn't feel quite. . . . real━ he didn't feel real. He spoke eloquently, often relying on figurative language to further illustrate his point and to breathe meaning into seemingly plain and meaningless words. But at times those words, his tone felt stained; stained with some substance or color you couldn't quite place. An enigmatic façade was painted over his speech, and it took too much mental capacity to try and find your own meaning in it.

So you'd often brush it off. Your over-reliance on your own reasoning that 'you weren’t able to come to a conclusion because there is no problem a conclusion could be generated from' successfully quieted your mind’s voice. You'd also frequently blame exhaustion, or your newfound hobby of watching human psychological crime shows during your off days for these subconscious ideas you had.

But you feared that the request Aizen made of you yesterday, the source of your current predicament, couldn't be blamed on any of those things. You looked at the clock again before returning to stare at your empty tea cup. For what reason could Sōsuke Aizen wish to meet you outside of the 1st division barracks? Specifically at this hour? You immediately thought of his question as uncharacteristic of him but prevented yourself from jumping to any further conclusions.

Aizen was a reasonable man, and you were sure there was a reasonable explanation.

With a final sigh of acquiescence, you stood up from your sitting position to retie your yukata before slipping a thicker, dark colored haori on top. You were unsure how cold it was this late at night or how long you'd be out, but it was better to be safe than sorry.

You paused for a moment, glancing longingly at your vanity mirror a few times, clearly torn between a decision, before giving in with a soft groan. Grabbing your favorite perfume, you quickly spritzed the spray onto both your inner wrists, either sides of your neck, and stray areas on your clothes. You’d proceed to make sure your hair was in order and your lips were as moisturized and glossy as a pair of tear-filled eyes before making your way to the door and slipping on your sandals.

Meeting with a captain— with Aizen of all people— in the dead of night resembled too closely to forbidden lovers rendezvousing under a fruit tree to fulfill their desires of embracing one another, with no one but the moon as their witness. The comparison alone caused the apples of your cheeks to burst aflame with embarrassment, and you lightly chastised yourself for even indulging in such an inappropriate train of thought. Such a scenario seemed far too deluded to even be considered ‘wishful thinking’.

But those delusions still seemed to make more sense than whatever other conclusion you have yet to reach.

Making your way out of your personal quarters, you activated your shunpo technique, stealthily hopping from one rooftop to the other in an effort to make it to Squad 1 barracks quicker.

After several minutes, your mind mostly engulfed with the 'what if's', the soles of your sandals finally touched ground, and you stood a few feet away from the massive walls and bridges that connected to and from the barracks. Even at night you were able to make out the bold-printed kanji for the number 1 that was painted on the building.

When you arrived, even from a nearby rooftop, you didn't see anyone around. Feelings of confusion and worry began to creep up and flicker to life in your mind.

But, as if your thoughts were as audible, you felt a light breeze of wind behind you, a familiar sound that indicated someone had made their presence known.

Startled, you reflexively reached for your zanpakuto, when you remembered that you hadn't even brought it with you. It still laid against the wall near your bed, just where you placed it earlier when you were relieved of your duties for the day.

You didn't think you needed it necessarily if you were just going to meet with Aizen, hence why taking it with you slipped your mind.

The flickers of concern were swiftly extinguished as your brain caught up with your body upon realizing who just appeared. A relieved sigh left your lips, a breath of air that seemed to release all the tension that had a grip on your heart and wound tight within your muscles. "Ah! Good evening Captain Aizen. You caught me off guard for a moment there."

"My apologies, that was not at all my intention." The Fifth Division Captain sported a dark colored scarf, his long captain's coat and the standard shihakushō all Gotei officers were supposed to wear. In the sash around his waist resided his own sheathed zanpakuto. His tawny hair maintained its usual part but looked slightly tousled, yet still remaining so in a meticulous fashion that made it look intentional.

The state of his hair alone, and his current facial expression made Aizen look more . . . approachable if that’s how you were to describe it. There was a glint in his eyes that you had seldom seen before.

"Thank you, for making your way down here to accommodate my rather. . . . atypical request. I again extend my apologies if I have inconvenienced you in any way."

You shook your head in reply, "It's alright, I wasn't doing anything too important anyway. Just having a cup of tea and delighting myself in a book before bed."

You glanced downwards at the foot or so of space that was wedged in between the two of you. You forced away the murmurs of your lingering thoughts that took note of how the moonlight and shadows danced across the surface of Aizen's face just right, and emphasized his decidedly handsome features.

"But having a complete and good night's rest is important to be fully functional in all areas of one's performance. Wouldn't you agree?"

You couldn't help but chuckle softly. "Yes, I do agree with that sentiment."

Aizen all but hummed in acknowledgement, letting a moment of silence fill the air before speaking again.

"Shall we be on our way?"

You nodded in agreement, following him as the both of you walked about the First Division grounds. From what you could tell based on your position, your aimless nightly stroll drew you closer to where Sokyoku Hill was located. The area became increasingly more grassy and contained less buildings.

Although Squad 1 grounds weren't terribly far from either of your barracks, you still weren't sure as to why Captain Aizen wished to meet out here. Initially you thought that perhaps he was just fond of this particular scenery, but really it could have been anything.

But still, you believed Aizen always had a purpose for everything he did.

After several moments, his warm voice replaced the evening silence, vocalizing your current thoughts. “I assume you are contemplating why it is I have asked you here, and I’m afraid the reason is quite benign. Truthfully, I just wished for your company. I often go on night walks to clear my head after a long day and thought I might invite you to join me this time, and have a conversation with each other."

Your brows shifted upwards, for that was not quite the answer you were expecting. It seemed too . . . simple. “Really? You just . . . wanted to talk with me? Plainly?”

The Squad 5 captain let out a short, soft laugh at the disbelief that was painted on your face. There was an expression of fondness present in his eyes and in the light smile he offered you. “Yes, exactly. I quite enjoy our discussions actually, they’re intellectually stimulating and relatively pleasant. You crossed my mind, and before yesterday, it has been quite some time since we’ve had the opportunity to unwind and talk.”

You hummed an mhmm in agreement, tearing your eyes away from Aizen’s side profile in favor of the hem of his captain’s haori, watching how it danced in the soft breeze. It seemed to be less distracting than the way Aizen peered down at you from time to time.

"I see. I am. . . . truly flattered by your words, Captain Aizen; you're too kind. Forgive me for asking but," you took longer strides so that you could fall into step next to him━ as if to speak to him more directly, "Why at this time? To talk with me, I mean. It couldn't wait until more . . . . . conventional hours?"

He chuckled again, and answered as smoothly as if he were awaiting you to ask him that. "Unfortunately, today's tasks ran a little long today, so I had to stay at my office later than usual." The spectacled man paused for a moment, before setting his soft gaze on you, "And besides, that completely defeats the purpose of inviting you on a night stroll, doesn't it?"

You ignored the heat flaring up in your cheeks again. Your mind refused to move past the fact that you had crossed Sōsuke Aizen's mind enough times━ or the times that he thought about you were significant enough━ and highly enough to invite you into his realm and indulge in these moments with him, when he very much could have done that alone.

A tender smile appeared on your lips, more towards yourself than the man next to you. "I. . . suppose it does."

The ashen-white moon only rose higher in the sky, providing an ambiance of tranquility as the both of you talked about whatever crossed the surface of your minds. Other times, the stillness of the night did the talking, and you'd listen to the leaves, and the wind, and the crickets sing together in harmony. Gradually as you walked and the beaten path grew more narrow, your figures drew closer together, until you could feel the long sleeves of his haori brush against your own.

You hadn't noticed that the two of you eventually stopped walking and paused under a tree until Aizen struck up conversation once more. When he called out your name in that gentle, velvety voice, you swore your heart was going to lurch out of your chest. The sound of your name rolled of his tongue so smoothly, the desire to hear it again grew within you.

"Uh━ yes, Captain Aizen?"

"Are you satisfied with way things are at the moment?"

You stood next to him, perplexed at his inquiry due to its vague nature. "Um, what. . . . things? I'm afraid I don't understand what you're asking."

The wind brushed Aizen's dark ochre tresses across his face as he took a step towards you, like the breeze itself was pushing him towards you. "Hm, perhaps I should be more clear then. Are you content with being a soul reaper? Are you satisfied with being a soldier for the Soul Society?"

With your brows slightly furrowed in thought, you remained silent for several seconds and overanalyzed his every word, trying to predict where he might be steering the conversation now. The longer you thought it over, the stronger that nagging feeling from within your soul became. The one that often told you what he was asking wasn't exactly . . . it didn't quite feel . . . . .

"This feels like a prelude to another insightful discussion on Shinigami━ and by extension━ Seiretei politics." Your words cut off your own thoughts, as if your mind was trying to sweep something under the proverbial rug.

Aizen huffed in amusement, before lightly shrugging, leaving your statement definitively unanswered.

You sighed as you seriously considered his question this time. "I mean sure, I guess. I'm somewhat satisfied with my job and all of . . . this," gesturing your hands in the air around you to emphasize your point. The 5th Division Captain made another humming noise, indicating that you still had his full attention. He inched a little closer into your personal space.

The mere action caused your next words to die in your throat and a quiet chuckle resounded from his, before your thoughts revived themselves again.

"Of course things could always be better but. . . . y'know. This is just how it is." You weren't quite sure if you should voice negative opinions about the Soul Society so plainly to a senior officer, even if he was the one who asked you in the first place, so you treaded lightly.

The same plainly relaxed smile from earlier remained painted across his lips, held in his chestnut irises was an emotion akin to affection. He seemed somewhat pleased that you were expressing your thoughts with him.

“And you? Are you satisfied, Captain Aizen?” You were unable to keep the teasing endearment out of your tone as you returned his gaze, casting aside the notions of Gotei officer seating and ranks for the moment. The air seemed like it shifted━ towards what, you weren't sure of━ but it kind of made you feel like you were adrift, floating in isolation from everything else around you.

It was still hard to process that you were alone with Captain Aizen right now. . . . at night.

A low hum reverberated within his chest, contemplative in nature as he replied, “Perhaps.”

The wind whistled lowly again, erecting goosebumps on whatever part of your skin happened to catch the midnight breeze. You fought the instinctual urge to twitch towards the nearest source of heat, which happened to be Aizen. Now that would be even more wholly inappropriate than the 'lovers meeting at midnight' scenario.

The silence between the both of you was brief, but comfortable nonetheless. Once more his mellifluous voice cut through the quiet, leveled and calm, like still ocean waters.

“Come. I want to show you something,” Aizen reached his arm out towards you, your spine as straight as if someone stuck a metal rod dipped in ice water down your robes.

The captain's movements seemed steady and slow━ it had felt like time itself had hesitated for several moments. You thought he was going to . . . . well you weren't sure what he was going to do, and that's what you made you nervous.

Was he going to touch you? Cradle your cheek? Remove a stray leaf that happened to land on your head? You were left somewhat dangling in anticipation, not daring to flinch backwards because you felt it would be disrespectful or offensive. You hadn't even blinked, subconsciously fearing that this was only a very vivid daydream.

But alas, when his arm drew near it extended past your head, slightly above you, and held a small branch in his palm it like a delicate flower. You released a breath you didn't know you were holding, but that breath drew short again when your gaze was eye level with his lower neck and chin.

He seemed . . . . closer.

“I think that regarding the condition of the Soul Society," Aizen began in a quiet voice, referencing his own reply to his earlier question, "and therefore my thoughts about it, is akin to this set of leaves on this branch."

Snapping out of whatever stupor you seemed to have slipped in, you exhaled softly before stepping back a bit to look at what he was talking about. In his palm he cradled a wayward branch that grew from one of the other sturdier branches of the tree. The green foliage of its arms had started to weaken and dull in color. The cold air due to the seasonal transition to autumn caused the leaves become brittle, nearing closer to the edge of death.

The sound of just how brittle they were resounded in the air when Aizen thumbed the leaves in between his fingertips, observing their texture with pity laced in his small movements.

"These leaves will fall off as it gets colder. And soon, the rest of this tree will be bare as well. When the time comes, when the right circumstances fall into place, the old die to make way and usher in the new; it's simply the way things are. I think of the Soul Society government is structured in a similar manner."

You hung onto his every word, like he were imparting crucial wisdom to you. Even though you were a bit confused on the last part, and on the connection between dying leaves and Soul Society, you still listened intently, waiting for him bridge the gap between the two.

"The Soul Society as it is now can be thought of as a season. And this particular season, this climate has remained so for several centuries. How can nature continue━ how can we continue to progress when the old have yet to be washed away by the currents of time? It defies that of nature, yes?" He directed this question at you specifically, in search of your agreement.

You nodded your head, tearing your gaze away from the branch and directed it at the grass beneath your feet. Your brows furrowed a little as you mused over Aizen's words. He gave a rather ambiguous answer before but now, his words sounded like vague displeasure and muted criticism. Everyone was entitled to their opinion, and on some fronts, you'd sometimes agreed with the 5th Division Captain. The Soul Society was far from perfect, too much emphasis on nobility and status, the government resembled too closely to an oligarchy . . . But you didn't━ wouldn't voice these thoughts, though.

Instead you hummed quietly under your breath. There was that tugging sensation again. This time it told you that there was something deeper to this conversation than meets the eye. But what could there be? Was there anything at all or were you just overthinking it?

The voice-like sensation in your soul was calling out to you, but you couldn't hear it that well or quite make out what it was saying. It's as if someone was calling out to you in a crowded room that had music playing on the speakers: you felt like if you listened hard enough you could make it out but ultimately, the result would fruitless.

"And when that happens," Aizen continued, "sometimes nature has to be gently nudged back on track to keep things moving smoothly. That may require . . . shaking the tree. Pulling a few harmful weeds from one's garden, so to speak."

"Weeds?" You echoed. You felt like you understood this analogy and therefore what he was trying to say, but at the same time you didn't. Or was it . . . . you didn't want to understand what he was implying?

Because if you were interpreting his words correctly, if he were inconspicuously comparing the higher-ups and the government itself to dying leaves and harmful plants that needed to be removed, then . . . .

"You, dear child, are a mere weed in this scenario."

Wait, what did he just━

Your thoughts were cut short when a gush of air that smelt strongly of Aizen━ warm oak, vanilla, and a kind of musk that you weren't sure how to describe but was still pleasant all the same━ brushed against your face and took you by surprise.

But there was another aroma that arose, steadily becoming more apparent alongside the increasingly painful throbbing feeling you felt in your abdomen.

It smelt metallic. And it was something that you've smelt all too many times before.

It was blood.

Your gaze that was initially narrowed in confusion lowered as it followed the source of this pain. Your eyes slowly widened in as you struggled to comprehend the blade that was currently ran through your torso.

Aizen's blade.

"Actually, instead of weeds, a more accurate and befitting analogy perhaps would be blades of grass. You unfortunately have to step on them in order to reach the weeds you want to remove."

You couldn't really focus on what the captain was saying, because your brain was still struggling to process what the hell just happened. Your hands slowly rose from their sides and shakily grazed the zanpakuto, wanting to believe that if you touched it, it would pass right through your fingers like mist. But no, the sensation of cold steel was as real as the robes you wore on your back. You only just now are processing the muffled squelching sound of his sword impaling your flesh.

You wanted to scream, to cry in pain, to vomit, to push him off━ something. But all you could do was stand there, stunned, words completely failing you. "Wh. . . . what? Why did . . . . you . . . . "

A cough replaced your attempt at a comprehensive sentence, and you tasted iron in your mouth.

Fuck....was this really happening?

"Please don't push yourself trying to talk," His voice was like an index finger to one's lips, similar to a parent's gentle caress to quiet and sooth their child, "You'll only hasten your death. And I'm sure you wish to know the reason for my killing you, yes? You'd have to be alive for that."

'Killing me?' 'My death?' The certainty that rang in his words chilled the blood in your veins, and they confirmed the one conclusion you hoped wouldn’t come true: that you were going to die.

The frigid embrace of fear and dread engulfed you from behind and you shivered, causing the blade snugly lodged in your organs to shift. The pain of that foreign object moving even a little bit shot through your entire body, causing a groan to emerge from your throat.

Desperate to conserve your energy and the oxygen that was becoming a little harder to take in, your breathing became uneven and a little wheezed. Even then, you couldn’t bring yourself to meet the gaze of Captain Aizen to confirm if this was really happening or just an extremely realistic and vivid nightmare. The sight you might be greeted with could be more frightening than the actual impaling of his sword.

As if his betrayal couldn’t actually or figuratively cut you any deeper, just then there was a noise that grew louder and louder within a matter of seconds until it was almost deafening. You’ve distinguished it to be the sound of glass crackling.

Your surroundings formed cracks everywhere on its surface, like it was just an oversized window. Even on the grass you stood on, or what you thought was grass, began to crumble away.

A dumbfounded but panicked look was plastered on your face when your world literally shattered around you, the only remnants of it being you and the Captain.

What was underneath the mirage━ or you should say, the fact that it was a mirage at all━ only disturbed you and increased your perplexity.

Slightly hunched over and breathing heavily, it took a minute to process where you were, but you noticed that now the two of you stood in a formal room that looked like it was used for important meetings. The lights in the room slowly started to brighten, most likely due to motion sensors. Even with Aizen's scent lingering in your nose, you could still pick out a rather stale aroma that hung in the air like dead fruit that hadn't fallen off the tree.

"Is . . . this Cen . . . tral━ "

"You are correct. Where we currently stand is the assembly hall for Central 46, the judicial power of the Soul Society. All judiciary as well as legislative trials and proceedings are held here."

All around the room were seats with partitions, the kanji for 1 through 46 printed on them. In the seat for the 19th member, your gaze caught onto something on the translucent barrier. It was a little farther up so you had to squint your already blurring vision to see it properly.

You saw, and your heart promptly sank as a result, eyes widening once more.

There were splatters of a dark colored substance on the partition━ undeniably blood. And the lithe, bony fingers of an older man laid lifeless, peeking out from the side of the screen like the appendages themselves were trying to escape from the body they were attached to.

That man . . . was dead. That stale aroma you smelt was the stench of death.

It was only after that unsettling epiphany did your eyes dart frantically around the room and realize that every member of Central 46 was dead.

The disturbed expression on your face only intensified as your stare was pulled back down to where Aizen's blade still resided in your body.

" Cap.....Aizen," you uttered, swift to correct yourself. All the moisture in your throat dried up like water underneath the unrelenting rays of the sun. You kept gulping your saliva in an attempt to assuage the sensation, but relief only last for a fleeting few seconds. "Did you ━ you killed them . . . didn't you?" Your question was laced with shaky hesitance and swelled with apprehension, fearing that you already knew his reply even before he answered.

There was a moment of silence and a hum before he replied. "Smart girl."

The muted mirthful tone in his voice sounded like sarcasm, and it was enough to finally draw your attention away from everything else and directly look at him. Almost instantly, you regretted it.

His umber tinted gaze was colder than you remembered. You couldn't find anything in his eyes that hinted that all of this was just a big misunderstanding, or a dream, or that Aizen had a secret sense dark and complex humor.

This was your first, and apparently your last time, that you have ever felt a fear such as this. Your mind was struggling to comprehend this was the same Aizen that spoke with you so gently, full of encouragement and wisdom. The same man that recommended you books to read and gifted you tea to drink and gazed upon you like . . .

Well, none of that mattered now. In this moment, Sōsuke Aizen wasn't the same man anymore. This Sōsuke Aizen was someone else, and it frightened you.

"When?" you croaked, your voice no longer sounding like your own. Nothing felt real anymore. "W-When did you . . . . . how? Why?"

Another noncommittal hum resounded from the spectacled man as he closed his eyes, feigning the action of thinking of an answer. When he reopened them, his narrow gaze returned to you.

"Everyone in the Thirteen Court Guard Squads was previously aware that the ability of my zanpakuto, Kyoka Suigetsu, allowed me to confuse the enemy using bodies of water, mist and even moisture in the air in order to attack. However, that is not my zanpakuto's actual power; there is more to it than just simple confusion. Kyoka Suigetsu's true power is Complete Hypnosis. Essentially, when someone looks at my blade, I am then able to take control of that person’s five senses, causing them to believe that something is real ━ or that something isn't real. In a way, once glancing at my unsheathed zanpakuto, that person forfeits their sense of existence to me. Kyoka Suigetsu is quite flawless in its deceptive abilities."

A heavy silence, aside from your uneven breaths, endured in the space between both of you. You didn't need him to spell out what he was trying to say.

It was all . . . . an illusion. A convoluted, premeditated illusion. And you walked right into it without even knowing or considering, that it was all fake.

The Fifth Division Captain inwardly smiled at the despair clearly written on your face as he watched you mentally put the pieces together. He took your lack of reply as a sign to continue. "The members of Central 46 have unfortunately been dead for quite some time now. And as for your question of why......"

The taller man stepped towards you which inadvertently (or purposely, you began to fear), drove his sword deeper into your abdomen without warning and slight force. You bit down on your bottom lip hard to stifle your exclamation of pain. In an attempt to somehow resist him, with the little strength you had left, your hands automatically took purchase in his oversized sleeves, but it did nothing. You found it ironic that you could feel how warm Aizen was underneath his robes, but his soul was anything but.

" . . . . I believe I already mentioned it earlier, yes? All flowers die eventually and the weeds......must be removed."

At that moment you remembered that tugging sensation that told you something felt off in some instances whenever you talked with Aizen. This must have been what it was. Damn it all. You still didn't understand exactly what bad things Central 46 and the Soul Society have done to cause his actions, but based on what you've been told and your current position, it must have been heinous. Again, you actively swallowed the urge to vomit.

"You . . . you lied. I can't believe━ how could it have all b-been a lie?" Another nasty cough rattled your body, followed by a shiver and a groan.

The brown-haired man slightly tilted his head, like he was truly confused. "Lied? Hmm, well. I suppose you could put it that way based on your limited knowledge of the circumstances, but I wouldn't put it that way. Besides, this isn't really about truth or lies. It is, and always has been, only about the reality of what is. And what is, is that you were unable to anticipate my deception. No one could, because it was outside the domain of your thoughts. What is, is that the current way the Soul Society operates is tainted, and I shall be the one to remedy it."

You drew another shuddering breath and looked down at the ground with a grim expression as your blood continued to pool at your feet. Briefly, you even considered unsheathing yourself from his blade and take the chance to make a run for it, but the chances of you making it to the outside world, let alone coming across someone before you bled out and died were slim. Besides, it was clear that you couldn't even trust your own senses anymore after Aizen demonstrated that he had complete control of your reality.

Which reminded you of something else.

" . . . when?" you asked the same question again, but much quieter than before, despair palpable in your voice. 'When and how did you subject me to your zanpakuto's Complete Hypnosis?', is what you were really asking. And being as intelligent as he was, the spectacled man understood.

Abruptly, with a large palm on the small of your back, Aizen used his gentle hold grip to pull you towards him in order to close the remaining distance, causing him to drive the remaining length of his zanpakuto all the way through until the tsuba of his blade rested against your stomach. You looked like a skewered piece of meat.

You didn't have the willpower to hold back the piercing shriek of agony and physical anguish as tears sprung forth from your eyes. You could no longer tell if your blurry vision was due to your tears obstructing your sight or if it was from being a step away from death's door.

"Do you remember . . . the first time we met?"

The hand that rested on your lower back slowly glided upwards until his fingers found your jaw. With a tenderness that reminded you of a time before his betrayal, he lifted your chin and guided your gaze to look at him directly. His thumb moved to graze your bottom lip just as you've done mere hours ago━ as if he knew that, as if he watched you do it. His thumb was dangerously close to slipping inside your mouth and that both excited and scared you. Your breasts against his, your breaths synchronized with his, your body and his were fully pressed against each other and it made focusing on his question more difficult.

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. The first time . . . we met? Sure, with a little bit of effort you could easily recall the first time you formally met Aizen. It was sometime in the spring, and you remembered him running through combat formations with his lieutenant and the rest of his squad. But why d━

A silent gasp left you. Another epiphany, another figurative blade piercing your heart.

Battle formations, and he . . . offered you to join them . . . his zanpakuto . . . . .

Confusion crumbled away, and was replaced with vacant horror and sadness. It seems you've already been defeated, for many, many years now.

Aizen seemed to murmur something under his breath, a pleased sound you couldn't quite decipher. His mouth brushed over yours, rendering you literally speechless, before he closed the distance and brought your lips together. You could barely process what was happening.

It was ironically tragic how soft and skillfully gentle his lips were against yours. The kiss felt longing, like a departure between two sweethearts and their last meeting together. It also felt heavy and final, making you want to cry.

And you did. Silent tears streamed from your eyes and rolled onto the fingers that still held your face so affectionately. The captain reacted by guiding your chin up a little further, dipping his head a little lower, so he could deepen the kiss. You weakly scorned yourself for thinking about how the two of you must really look like lovers now, sans the sword sticking out from your back.

Oh, how cruel this was; how cruel he was. It was cruel for him to kiss you like this, hand still splayed on your back like he needed to touch you stay sane. And how cruel it was that still managed to enjoy it, even as you stood there dying. Your lips moved together in tandem, slow and almost passionate, all while tears stained the apples of your cheeks, drying up the plush youth that once resided in them.

Aizen's tongue had slithered its way into your mouth, and you suddenly felt like crying harder. There was a tart, sweet flavor lingering on his tastebuds, and you absently wondered what is was. Perhaps hibiscus from tea, you surmised. And he too tasted the sweet jasmine and citrus that clung your tongue and lips. At this, he chuckled quietly into your mouth, humming before retracting from you by a few inches so he could speak.

"I knew you would like the tea. It's sweet and flavorful, isn't it?" You hated how low his voice was, how its timbre pleasurably vibrated and rumbled against your lips, and you hated that lidded stare he gave you. You again thought it unfair that you couldn't even revel in the rare sight of Aizen's lips slightly wet because your lips were intertwined with his.

"I have to thank you for humoring me and my recommendations. I really appreciated it. And I also," you winced loudly and cried out in affliction as Aizen finally began to withdraw the sword from your body, "must to bid you farewell now. It seems you don't have any more time left, and this has dragged on for longer than it needed. I'm not surprised you've held out for this long, as I already knew you possessed commendable strength. But alas it wasn't enough. I am sorry that you have to die; it's rather regrettable that you happened to be that blade of grass that ended up underneath my foot."

Another wail was yanked from your chest as he steadily removed his sword from your abdomen. The pain was becoming excruciating, you would have collapsed by now if the taller man weren't holding you.

You saw two things before the light in your eyes had all but faded away. The first were the colors of faux pity and apathy that swirled in Sōsuke Aizen's irises, spiraling like a storm that was certain to wreak havoc in its wake. His gaze was devoid of any regret or remorse; the final metaphorical nail on the coffin. The second was a small smile.

But this wasn't one of his smiles you were familiar with. No wait . . . . the one you knew was simply a veneer of what is.

This smile was slanted, the corners of his lips tilted upwards and was sharp. Sharp enough to cut open your already gaping wound further and completely tear you apart, spelling out your demise. It looked insidious as if it were hiding razor-edged fangs. This was what is; Aizen's real smile.

"I. . . I see. Aize. . . ." were the last words you were able to manage. You didn't have the strength to be upset or hurt any longer, so you gave in to the exhaustion.

Your body permanently relaxed, long lashes veiling your now empty eyes as your arms lifelessly dropped to your sides. The captain found a disturbing amount of pleasure in his name being the final word you attempted to speak before succumbing to the sleep of death.

And even after the fact, the facade of doomed, star-crossed lovers persisted as your body slumped backwards. Aizen's strong forearm wrapped tightly around your waist being the only reason you didn't fall to the ground in a puddle of your own blood.

That day was the last anyone saw of you, your zanpakuto still laid idly in your room, its spirit destined to forever wander in the afterlife between worlds alone, eventually fading from existence without ever feeling the presence of its master again.

They had declared you missing by the end of the next day. Lieutenant Hisagi was probably the most perturbed about your sudden disappearance. Days, weeks passed, and they never located you. The Gotei 13 was left unsettled by the lack of progress, but ultimately had to rule your case inconclusive. Some believed that you were simply killed by a stray hollow, or even ran away from your duties because of the stress.

The news of what happened spread like wildfire across all the squads, that a high-ranked officer just up and vanished without a trace. The spirits and morale of the thirteen companies dampened, sorrow and worry swelling like a festering boil.

And that boil burst when Ryoka infiltrated the Soul Society, and when it was revealed that all of it was carefully orchestrated by Sōsuke Aizen.

Like a blade of grass that somehow snuck into one's sandals or in between their toes, during his time in Hueco Mundo, images of you flashed in his head at unexpected times when his mind was quiet. He'd remove the grass, tossed you aside, and moved on with his day. There was no room for you in the grand scheme of things. Such reminisces were beneath someone like him.

And yet.

He'd always find another piece of grass from the greenery he stepped on whenever he advanced a step in his plans. There you were again.

It was common knowledge that if you kept repeating the same action over and over, it will eventually wear you down.

━━━━━━ 鏡  ━━━━━━━

It was dark, and there was nothing.

There had been nothing for quite a long time now. Utter darkness and the abyssal shade of black engulfed every inch of Aizen's body and surroundings.

He saw nothing, the seals over his eyes too opaque to let anything through. And even if they weren't obscuring his vision, he would barely be able to see three feet in front of him; there was seldom a few lanterns in his cell to begin with. He felt nothing but the bindings that kept him imprisoned in one of the deepest pits of the Seireitei. At times it felt like even his internal organs had stilled in their functions. He heard nothing but the unrelenting quiet of his cell within Mugen's maw. The only thing that served as proof that he hasn't spontaneously grown deaf yet was the occasional muffled noise that originated from outside of the entrance. And even then, he could hardly hear much of anything.

Such is an ironic fate for someone who, with a stray thought and a glint of his blade, could control someone's senses and take away their free will to experience those senses in their reality. And now, he was stripped away of all of his in nearly every capacity.

Sōsuke Aizen was rendered stationary and stagnant, qualities he detested and were the antithesis of his ambitions and plans, perhaps even his existence.

Aizen had always believed in being in control of your own destiny and making your own choices; if you had the opportunity and the power to change something━ especially if it was something that was wrong, unfair or immoral━ then one should be able to move towards that goal by making change, even if by force. The former captain had always been intentional about his actions and his desires right from the start.

And yet, here he ended up.

Spending years strapped to a chair in this dark, cloistered hole, Aizen had nothing but time to reflect the reason for his arrest: that orange haired Ryoka boy, Ichigo Kurosaki. He had nothing but time to admit to himself and settle on the conclusion that his last battle with the substitute Shinigami . . . did something to him.

Fighting the Ryoka boy ignited something inside him that he previously believed would forever lay dormant.

The thrill of a challenge.

Adrenaline was injected into his veins with each clash of their swords, spreading far and wide across every inch of his body. It no longer reacted in the measured, calculative manner he had programmed it to, but with unadulterated, pure instinct and raw power━ all in an effort to not only withstand such potent spirit energy from his opponent, but to come out on top and win.

It made him feel alive.

Aizen's desire to be the victor in battle and in his philosophy━ to prove himself right━ both fueled him and consumed him so thoroughly it led to his own downfall. That was a rather difficult fact to acknowledge; so much so his head started to pulsate intensely whenever it crossed his mind one time too often.

All of it unfolded right in front of his eyes and yet . . . he didn't really see it happen.

As time passed during his perpetual incarceration, with hooded eyes, the former captain spent an unfathomable amount of time tossing and turning every single event that led him to this underground prison, even pondering his temporary release by the Head Captain Kyōraku to fight in the war. Scenarios both minor and significant displayed itself in front of his mind's eye as if he were watching a film.

Every so often, a blurred visage of your image would make a brief appearance, like the flickering sparks of a match before they were able to come to light, fading away into the void and were overshadowed by his other thoughts. It was as if his own consciousness and intentionally muted any manifestations of your existence in his memories. As if he wasn't able to or allowed to see them━ to remember you for too long.

Mentally reliving moments from the last several months, years, decades, centuries━ trying to analyze each moment and decipher where it could have went wrong━ turned out to be quite an exhausting task. His mind and body would grow heavier with inertia, and eventually he would succumb to the alluring pull of slumber. After some time he would rouse from his sleep, and continued from where he left off.

These were his daily activities day in and day out (even though he had trouble distinguishing day and night in his chambers) for years. He saw a positive side to it though. He'd instead think of it has him getting stronger because he had spent so long . . . thinking. Ruminating. Contemplating every possibility in the past, present, and future. His mind would become as sharp as his zanpakuto.

Aizen had always been intentional about what he did, what he said, and how he conducted himself. He was sure in his abilities to orchestrate an image━ a belief for others to have faith in, and act on it in order to further his goals. He was always sure in that image, knowing who he was and what he stood for.

Or at least, that's what he thought.

Aizen wasn't consciously aware that his certainty in this crafted image had already begun to waver. He could not and was unable to anticipate how severe these small fractures had become until after a certain lieutenant paid him a visit outside his cell of confinement, right before he was scheduled to be thrown back into that dark hole of the Mugen.

Lieutenant Shuhei Hisagi was quite emotive when he burst through the doors. His expressions were contorted in volatile mixture of frustration, anger and sadness. His emotions were every which way, directed at everything that has happened so far, including himself. He was especially emotive at Aizen specifically for what he did to former captain Kaname Tosen and 'corrupting him with his twisted ideals.'

Aizen found amusement in that.

Before he was rolled away by the punishment force and therefore out of earshot, a particular set of Hisagi's words caused the small, content smile on his lips to uncurl ever so slightly. "Everything . . . and everyone that has ever gotten themselves involved with you has been trampled on by you and your ideals one way or another, and they all end up dead. If you think what you did to Captain Tosen was justified━ to call it mercy . . . . . then there is truly no justice in this world. You will . . . forever be the enemy in my eyes."

There was a trembling anger in his voice. Pain that wanted to cry out and be set free but, the thin lid of reason prevented it from doing so. And after a moment of silence, the corners of Aizen's lips curved upwards once more. A little bemused, a little more wolfish this time. He maliciously imagined Hisagi's reaction if he ever discovered the true reason for your disappearance.

But instead, all he said was. "What an interesting thing to say, Shuhei Hisagi. Your conviction is admirable." Any evidence of emotion that might have been reflected in his sepia irises was swallowed up and obscured by the darkness of the Mugen's jaw.

The cracks in Aizen's sense of self, in his beliefs, in the image he invented started to cave under the weight of Hisagi's words before he himself realized it was happening. They were like stains in the fabric of his mind that refused to come out.

What puzzled him more, was that with each attempt to figure out just why Hisagi's words echoed in his mind, they all lead back to you, the third seat of the 9th squad. Annoyingly so.

The tattooed lieutenant hadn’t said anything particularly profound ━ at least, Aizen didn't think so. Your name didn’t even fall from his lips. So why were memories of you and your likeness the only clear thoughts he could make of Hisagi's speech? Was it because he was aware of how close the two of you were? He doubted the reason were that trivial and insignificant.

His thoughts grew more discordant by the day, his soul a little more weighted than usual. Perhaps these new seals that Urahara had fashioned actually had an effect on him, Aizen thought. It made sense. His intellect, other than his own, were the only ones capable of creating such effective restraints.

After a while, he had a revelation. This was a different kind of weight.

This heaviness, the closest word he knew to describe it as . . . . was loneliness.

Time taunted him as it seemed to drag on━ Aizen grew even less sure of how much━ when he came to this realization. Hisagi's words were a clear mirror to the loneliness that echoed within him after what happened to you and to Tosen. It was so . . . potent, that it seemed to strike some chord in Aizen he had never heard before.

Such a chord, this sound of loneliness, it was strange and uncomfortable; he wasn't very fond of this sensation. He'd try to scrub it away, but it was all for naught.

His eyes had slid shut at some point, his ruminations leading to dead ends and wearing him down. And, almost as expected, there you were again, in all your translucent glory. The hem, the sleeves, and even the smell of your yukata slowly dragged across his dreams, haunting his thoughts like a lonely wraith.

And Aizen hardly dreamt of anything.

When he regained consciousness he was plagued with yet another epiphany. An additional reason behind this newfound depth.

Aizen's own loneliness. Guilt. Much to his own quiet horror.

How foreign and unusual a thing like guilt is. It was like looking into a mirror and not recognizing something you had never noticed before, but wondered if it had always been there.

But the thing Aizen did recognize, how lonely he actually felt, was something he had hoped would never resurface again. It was a notion he hadn't had the time or regard to consider━ 'loneliness'. Its only purpose, if any, was solely to serve as a motivator. At times though, it was more like a hindrance.

Something akin to nausea slowly started to bubble up in the pit of his stomach, but he suppressed the sensation before it became any more intense.

What of his previous actions did he need to feel guilty for? He hadn't felt it then, so why would he feel it now? Again he ruminated such a question endlessly into oblivion.

The former captain had no doubts that his plan to remove the Soul King, and therefore the Soul Society's sins, were necessary.

Nor did any hesitancy about removing the opposition or dead weight━ whether shinigami or arrancar━ existed.

He certainly had no reservations against killing Kaname Tosen, for he knew the man well enough to know that Tosen would have been so thoroughly appalled with what he had become, it would have drove him mad.

So what was it, then? Why were such useless emotions as guilt and loneliness being amplified n━

"Y....know, S....."

Even covered by the seals, Aizen's eyes widened and his brows were slightly furrowed in distress. Had his mind finally tipped the scales of sanity and madness, to the point where he was hearing things?

It was quiet for several moments longer, before his senses caught onto the sound of water dripping onto a hard surface.

One drop at a time.

Its cadence a little too rhythmic to be natural. And for a second time, he heard that soft, ominous sounding whisper. Its voice a little clearer this time.

"You...know.....Sōsuke."

In the second it took for his eyes to flutter shut behind its seals to blink, when he reopened them, he was no longer sealed to the walls and floors of the Mugen, nor was he surrounded by every shade of darkness imaginable. His limbs and senses were finally freed to breathe for the first time in what felt like ages.

That relief was short-lived when his senses absorbed the unending landscape of water underneath his feet, water lilies lifelessly floating on its surface, and the dim sky illuminated by a full pale moon.

Aizen was in his inner world, and now he was aware of how he got here, or rather who brought him here.

"You . . . already know the answer to that question, Sōsuke." The voice was even more clear, its sentences more comprehensible. And it sounded it eerily like you.

Why the voice was impersonating your likeness had caught him off guard for half a second, but he realized it was only the work of his zanpakuto, Kyoka Suigetsu.

An illusion it may be, there was an untouchable quality about your voice and how you spoke that even Kyoka Suigetsu couldn't replicate.

A few feet away from him, the water was disturbed by a being emerging from the depths. Ripples formed around a manifested version of his zanpakuto, who took the form of you, smiling ever so gently. The smile felt airy, and it didn't seem like the same one that haunted his dreams and every waking thought as of late. It felt....knowing.

Still, the former captain couldn't be bothered to maintain eye contact with his sword spirit, so he turned around and opted to keep his unreadable stare trained on the vast expanse of water and white lilies.

"It's been quite a while since I have stepped foot into this realm. There must be something you want . . . Kyoka."

The zanpakuto chuckled, it sounded like the way you would softly laugh at one of his clever quips. But this wasn't you.

He didn’t want to admit that something about that fact didn’t sit right with him.

"Judging from your tone, would I be correct in assuming you don't want to be here?"

Silence rang out within the soul scape, before Aizen interrupted it, his gentle voice colored a shade darker, and a little rigid. "And I fail to see the reason why you must take that form when you revealed yourself to me. Is your aim to get a reaction out of me? Or something along those lines?"

Your eyes━ the eyes of Kyoka Suigetsu━ narrowed at its master's back, as if they were trying to create concavities in his skull. But the expression was washed away the moment it appeared, the serene smile from before was back in place.

"You know . . . it's considered quite rude to not look at someone when you're addressing them. That, and when you deliberately ignore things they say. Your manners have been deteriorating, Sōsuke. Tsk, tsk."

Kyoka-dressed-as-you suddenly appeared before him, as if they had teleported. Even when they were in his peripheral vision, Aizen still maintained his stare off into the distant nothingness.

"Unless, you can't find it in yourself to look at me. . . that's correct, isn't it? It's because I look exactly like her, right?" The zanpakuto continued to provoke him, taking a step closer into his personal space.

With an exasperated sigh, his eyelids fell shut for a second, using that time to gather the strength he didn't know he needed, and directed his gaze to meet his spirit's. Aizen's face gave nothing away, but his heart lurched about his chest when his bronze eyes met with yours, or what was made to look like yours. The undesired affect it had on him was all the same.

"If you wish to chastise me about manners, I suggest you take your own advice. You didn't answer my first question, either: what is it you want? Why am I here?" Again the former captain chose to not address the other parts of Kyoka's statement. For the sake of his sanity and his thinning patience━ or was it to preserve his resolve?

Its smile widened a bit, moving another step closer to their master. God, Kyoka even smelled like you, mimicking your signature honeyed scent that Aizen didn't realize he found so intoxicating until this very moment.

"I called you here to save you from yourself."

Aizen remained silent, only narrowing his eyes in speculation. "Meaning?"

"Didn't I already say it earlier? I think you already know what I'm talking about, Sōsuke. You've always known."

Fate's pairing of Kyoka Suigetsu with Aizen was a match crafted from the spindles of heaven, but also a maddening curse pulled from the depths of hell, for they complimented each other a little too well. The zanpakuto was too perfect a reflection of Aizen and his soul, looking at it started to hurt his eyes.

His sword spirit insisted that he already knew the reason for his coming here, and perhaps he did have an inkling the moment the light of epiphany was shone on his profound loneliness and guilt. But that couldn't have been what it was referring to . . . . could it?

"You cannot feign ignorance here, my dear Sōsuke, however I do find it rather humorous you bother trying. If you'd like, I don't mind humoring you by spelling it out for you. I'd be glad to unearth the truth that you have buried in the most neglected corner of your heart."

"When you were . . . . subjecting yourself to such mental torment, it had an affect on this world as well. The ripples, the waves in this scape become quite . . . tumultuous." The nuances in your voice were perfected by his zanpakuto, but the way it talked sounded like a fog that was gradually closing in from over the horizon. The uneasy feeling that resided in his chest traveled down to his stomach, but Aizen's face remained steely, even when Kyoka Suigetsu took that final step to close the gap in between them. "And the reason for that, the reason why Hisagi's words rattled you so is because you regret killing that woman."

The creased line in Aizen's brow grew more prominent as he stared down his sentient sword spirit. With its breast pressed against his, they placed a hand on his clothed chest in a tantalizing manner, but he felt nothing. There was no warmth from its palm, much unlike when your hand touched him. There wasn't even a cool sensation either. Even minutes before your death, your touch brought a soothing heat that permeated through his shihakusho and penetrated his skin.

Kyoka's face grew nearer, their smile━ although still tender looking━ grew cold at its edges, nearly resembling that of a predator eager to see despair reflected in the eyes of its prey. It didn't fit the graceful allure of your face at all, and seeing this expression deeply unsettled the former captain more than he would like to admit.

"You regret . . . killing me."

A chill tore through Aizen's body, the weight of Kyoka's words adding onto the heaviness that still hasn't been alleviated from his heart; he was hardly able to suppress the involuntary shiver.

Without warning, Kyoka's mouth suddenly became dangerously close to their master's, its lips brushing against his in a provocative manner. Aizen's expression darkened when he realized that it was reenacting his last encounter with you when you were alive. His mouth started to grow uncomfortably dry, despite his soul scape being full of moisture, and there was a taste on the back of his tongue that's been lingering there since he arrived.

The lilt in Kyoka's tone continued to taunt him. "That is the reason for your guilt: regret. You have been in denial. And in the spirit of unearthing truths, I suppose I can admit that perhaps . . . . I've been . . . . encouraging said delusions, adding drops of fuel into the flames of your emotions and ambitions. But after all that's happened, when it comes down to it there's no point in continuing this hallucination any longer. I've grown tired of this game, so it's time to for you wake up now, Sōsuke. I've brought you here to release you from your own illusion, to completely shatter it."

Aizen's back was as stiff as a board, not moving a millimeter when Kyoka's lips grazed his again. They were breathing softly onto his mouth, but he hardly felt any puffs of air.

The former captain was having a rather difficult time processing the fact that his zanpakuto had its own agenda and had been manipulating his emotions without him noticing. Specifically the emotions he felt towards you.

He never truly believed that such a thing was possible, one's own blade having such a deep-rooted influence━ no, control over their master. Or would it be more accurate to say that he never expected himself to be controlled to such a degree? He that prided himself on being freed from the marionette strings of fate that were tied to his limbs and mind, he that relished being able to do what he wanted, think what he wanted, feel what he wanted━ or what he didn't want━ it was hard to believe that none of that mattered in the end.

Kyoka Suigetsu's deceptive abilities were indeed undeniably perfect. No one, not even Aizen himself could have anticipated that Kyoka's most absolute and complete hypnosis would be enacted on himself.

"Do you know now, Sōsuke? Do you understand?" Kyoka's voice was as soft as a whisper, but it couldn't hide the edges of its tone that were still sharpened from finding amusement of seeing the truth flash across its master's face. "You had destroyed the solution to your existential question of loneliness, before you could fully understand the question itself."

Yes . . . . . Aizen understood now.

He didn't bother acknowledging what Kyoka had said. His grim facial expression━ still, tinged with dolor, and paired with an indescribable, distant look his eyes━ said all that it needed to. His silence was as much as an admission as any.

Kyoka-dressed-as-you leaned forward again to fully close the gap between their lips and Aizen's. Tenderly, like the intentions of a lover, it spoke against his nearly closed mouth. "Have you figured it out yet?"

Nothing but quiet could be heard between them, as Kyoka's mouth moved about their master's face and placed something like kisses upon its surface, but not quite.

Aizen's cocoa-shaded eyes slide down to stare at his sword spirit pressed up against him. His gaze was hard, and yet something swam underneath its surface that his zanpakuto had never seen before. Melancholy, it guessed? They weren't quite sure.

Kyoka pressed on when Aizen remained quiet. "The taste in the back of your mouth. Have you figured out what it was? You know it quite well....."

Aizen's tongue grazed the roof of his mouth, sensing the rather unpleasant taste that has coated the inside of it. And within a moment, because he was faced with the current circumstances, Aizen had finally placed a name associated this particular taste. How unfortunate this was.

Upon his realization, Aizen's head lowered, and his brown tresses hung freely over his lashes. Perhaps it was so Kyoka couldn't properly see whatever remorseful expression painted their master's face, but it mattered not. Even from here, the sword spirit could already sense exactly what it was he was feeling.

And they loved it.

"It's a sweet and flavorful taste, isn't it? Quite lovely." Kyoka Suigetsu mimicked the exact words he uttered against your lips all those years ago when he tasted jasmine tea on your tongue, and sealed your death with a kiss. "It's too bad you don't seem to enjoy it anymore."

Aizen's chest continued to rise and fall calmly, and the hands of his sword spirit that rested there glided upwards to cup his strong jaw, caressing his skin with its thumb. Its phantasmic touch did nothing to stir their master.

"Sōsuke, do you know what the jasmine flower from that tea symbolizes?"

Aizen's lips were slightly parted, but again he didn't say anything. Instead, its corners twitched and lifted upwards by an inch, and he huffed softly.

Kyoka Suigetsu grinned in reply. "Good."

The next time Aizen blinked, he was plunged in darkness yet again. The restrictive feeling that swallowed his being whole had returned, and was an indicator that his zanpakuto had released him from his inner world. He was consciously back in the Mugen, back in this abyss they called a prison cell.

Kyoka was indeed as much as a formidable force in its own right, as much as, if not greater than Aizen himself.

The conversation he had with his sword spirit would be cemented in his head for all eternity. When he grew senile and began to physically wither away, the one thing that would remain vital like a young heart, was this epiphany that he had. This realization that he actually . . . .

As the chains of despair bound him tighter to the bottom of the metaphorical pit, regret and his loneliness corroding his flesh and spirit like metal exposed to moisture, a stray memory of his time in Hueco Mundo flashed in his mind. He recalled having tea prepared for meetings with his Espadas and he could not pinpoint when, but at some point, Aizen developed an aversion for jasmine flavored tea. For one reason or another, he no longer found its taste appealing; whenever he drank it, it always tasted bitter.

Now that reason had become painstakingly clear.

The binding on his mouth muffled a rueful chuckle at the though, and it trapped the flavor of jasmine on his lips.

(#) @soaringmirror @stygianoir @ryukenzz @blkjupiters @chrissie2003 @nymphoheretic @dejwrld @triangularz @souyaszn @kuujo @honeybleed @valentineluvu . let me know if you’d like to be apart of my tag list ♡♡.

#໒꒱ newborn stand ─ sosa’s filez #i love having a bleach brain rot <3 #out of all my published works this might be my magnum opus SO FAR #so far….. #because i’m gonna write more and my writing will improve 🙂 but for now i present you this #you can prob tell how much i like aizen lolol #bleach #bleach fanfiction #bleach fandom #bleach tybw #bleach cfyow #cfyow fic #bleach x reader #sosuke aizen #aizen sousuke #bleach aizen #captain aizen #aizen x reader #aizen x you #sosuke aizen x reader #aizen centric fic #aizen x black reader #bleach x black reader #bleach x female reader

[justsome-di]

Now a Pulitzer Prize winning book (don’t fact check this, just trust me) and featured on Obama’s 2023 Summer Reading List!

You should be reading Nobody Ends Up Dead in a Bathtub, Everyone Keeps Their Organs! Why? See above.

It’s a good story if I do say so myself. And if you read it, you’re a cool kid. Don’t you want to be a cool kid? This is something called peer pressure, and it usually works.

But for real, if you read Nobody Ends Up Dead then you’re going to go on a good adventure with good characters I guarantee you will love. Not to brag, but it is a pretty good story. There’s funny one-liners, a cute plot, and relatable characters that have been developed for years. Just heed warnings at the beginning of chapters. NEUD deals with some heavy topics such as eating disorders.

NEUD is officially all online for free. But you can still access bonus chapters and short stories on Patreon for only $4.

Links: 

AO3

Wattpad

Patreon (Patrons had early access to the whole novel and also get exclusive short stories with the characters and sneak peaks for new projects!)

Netflix Previews

Characters’ Playlists

You can also check out my carrd if there are any updates to how/where I post, it’ll probably be the most accurate place to find new or updated links.

Transcript under cut:

The Story is Dope

A New York office worker and a sex worker get set up on a date--one thinking it's a real blind date, the other under the impression it's an ordinary appointment. After realizing it was all a shitty prank, they set out for revenge. Their plan: show up to an upcoming Halloween office party as a genuine couple, convincing the pranksters they genuinely fell in love and refusing to let themselves become the butt of the joke.

Our main characters are Alex, an awkward admin assistant for a medical company who hasn't been on a date since he was a teenager, and Damián, a sex worker who seems way out of Alex's league but keeps insisting on spending time with him so they can perfect their revenge scheme.

The novel features a diverse cast and explores sex positivity. I also like to believe that it portrays sex work well. Damián is a hardworking man, doing what he loves, and meeting mostly great people along the way--but he also would benefit greatly if sex work was decriminalized and therefore had better resources at his disposal.

If you're looking for a story with LGBT characters that's mostly light-hearted but still packs a punch every few chapters, this is it! Overall, it's a happy story.

The Characters!

oh boy the characters!

we got Damián who's hardworking and doting on his lil bro but oh wow does he have some angst

we got Alex who is nothing more than a burning ball of anxiety trying his best--all too relatable

Leo, Damián's bro, is an ally, and he will make sure everyone knows. Also has angst.

Eve, Alex's lil sister, is an edgy teen who's failing calc and runs a queer book club

together, they're a weird lil dysfunctional family

I'll be honest. There's a lot of love in this story. From me and among the characters. The characters love each other, and I think the readers love them, too.

It touches on a lot of loneliness--inspired by how I've felt since Covid started--and a lot of the conflicting emotions that come with being gay. What happy endings do we deserve? What about happy middles?

It's a touching book about learning to be a better person and finding people who love you--platonically and romantically.

Here are some of my fave parts:

And then there was a streak of gray hair that shocked Alex. A streak of gray hair off to the side, nestled close to a salt and pepper beard. Textured hands held cocktails. Little, subtle lines creased when mouths laughed. Alex held his breath. On the packed floor, they were the only people Alex could see. They were laughing and holding each other and enjoying themselves, firmly in the place they knew they belonged. Flashes of teeth pressed against each other, disappearing for long seconds at a time.

--

“Sorry,” Alex said. “Your arm got heavy on top of me.” “You’re a little mouse of a man. I didn’t mean to crush you.” “I’m what?”

--

“A dog!” Damián cooed as he sat across from the lesbians. “His name is Yam,” Martin said.

“His name is Yam,” Damián cried. Kris and Clara released Yam and gently nudged him to Damián. Ecstatic, Damián picked him up and set him on his lap. “His name is Yam,” he repeated to Alex. “I heard.”

--

But he couldn’t deny that he was having a good time. It was like intense yoga with the perk of having a cock shoved up his ass. He was going to feel limber as fuck after.

--

“Can I do anything?” Alex asked. “To help cheer you up?”

“You don’t have to worry about me.”

“I’d like to. If you let me.”

--

“Wow this sounds great where can I read it?”

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Updates every friday!

#writeblr #writblr #nobody ends up dead

[whovianderson]

Why does Fox Mulder mean so much to me?

Trigger warnings: discussions of trauma, abuse, cancer, suicide, depression

Fox Mulder is so much more than a character to me. Never have I seen the inner workings of my mind represented in the way that I do in him. I feel like we understand each other, like we function the same way in this world.

Not to state the obvious, but Mulder is traumatised. Samantha’s disappearance changed his brain chemistry, and in turn, his life. As someone who has complex PTSD as a result of relationship abuse, I relate to this more than I can say. In ‘Oubliette’, Mulder’s desperation to change the course of events was out of fear of a repeat of what happened to Samantha. In this, I see myself trying to ensure that nothing like what I experienced happens again, both because of its effects on the other person, and on me. Of course, I've had to learn the hard way that I am ultimately powerless to control what happens to others. The difficulties I’ve had coming to terms with that are portrayed perfectly by Mulder's distress when he realised that Lucy had sacrificed herself for Amy, despite his best efforts. There's also a sense of inevitability and inescapability from the cycle of trauma when such things keep happening that is deeply harrowing.

In ‘Demons’, Mulder’s fear of not knowing something traumatic that happened reminded me of what I have been grappling with for years. As well as trauma from a past relationship, my sister has further traumatised me due to her severe mental health problems. It would trigger my own too much for me to know everything that is happening to her, but the unknown is worse for me, because I can't process it. My traumatised mind jumps to the worst case scenario. Thus, once again, Mulder’s reaction to being left in the dark felt like I was looking in a mirror. The sympathetic way in which his behaviour in this episode was written shows how no reaction can be considered disproportionate when it's because you're traumatised, and that is beyond validating for me. The depiction of flashbacks here also felt painfully accurate.

In ‘Memento Mori’, I recognised a lot of Mulder’s emotions due to my own experiences of life-threatening illness in people I love. Little did I know how much harder ‘Redux’ would hit! In ‘Redux’, Mulder believes he is responsible for Scully’s cancer and impending death. I know firsthand what it’s like to hold yourself responsible for someone else’s life, what it feels like to believe that you are killing somebody. I was continually shown that I couldn’t save the very person who told me I had to, because she kept getting sicker. As a result, other people’s suffering has become synonymous with my own personal failure and the consequent guilt in my mind. I would rather be failed by somebody else than have failed myself. This means that exactly like Mulder, on the verge of suicide in this episode, I would rather be the one who dies than feel so crushingly guilty. While horrible to witness, I have never seen the mental deterioration of a character who has assumed responsibility for another’s life so accurately portrayed, and that makes me feel more understood than ever before.

The entire premise of ‘The X-Files’ is that Mulder refuses to come to terms with his sister’s disappearance. His constant search for an alternative explanation, no matter how far-fetched, is what drives his character from the beginning. As an audience, we can see how that’s a form of denial, as can characters like Scully. Scully says “if it’s only by knowing where he’s been that he can hope to understand where he’s going, then I fear Agent Mulder may lose his course”. I haven’t finished the show yet, but having watched seven seasons, I am confident when I say that the crux of its development is that Mulder comes to understand “where he’s going”, without relying on “where he’s been”. As someone with a past that they quite frankly would rather die than relive, it brings me so much hope to think that I don’t have to dwell on it, that like Mulder learns to over the course of the show, I can live my life free of its shackles. That’s why ‘Closure’ is such a significant episode. However much one tries, it is impossible to explain away trauma - it happened, and one simply has to come to terms with its incomprehensible injustice. That is exactly what Mulder does here. It’s ironically titled, because there is no closure when it comes to the past, but he shows that personal growth isn’t dependent on getting that closure. Instead, he is of his own volition able to let go of the coping mechanism that has driven him up to this point: his belief that Samantha was abducted. Engaging in various types of therapy, including EMDR, to overcome my own coping mechanisms in response to my trauma is the scariest thing I have ever had to do (and that’s saying something). Seeing not only that journey represented onscreen, but shown coming to fruition, means everything.

Mulder’s trauma should incline him to be distrustful of everyone, as his ‘trust no one’ catchphrase would suggest. He evidently knows this, and yet he wants to believe in other people’s integrity so much so that it overrides the fear, and he trusts them anyway. He will take people at their word, whether that be about UFO sightings or something else. He chooses to see the good in everybody, despite having every reason not to, because, in his words, “if you don’t start trusting someone, you don’t stand a chance”. This attitude is possibly the aspect of my own personality about which I am most insecure. I used to hate myself so much for it that I wouldn’t open up to anyone at all in an effort to change who I was. I suppose I hated acting against what my experiences had shown to be true: that I could ‘trust no one’. Since meeting Mulder, though, I have thought of him every single time I begin to hate myself for being this way. This soothes me more than I can possibly describe. He makes me feel like it’s okay to be like me, or should I say, like us. Me wanting to believe in other people is not the detestable thing I had always viewed it as. I don’t think I would be able to carry on if it weren’t for his presence in this part my life. I cannot overstate his impact on me here.

Part of the reason for both me and Mulder being so trusting of others is because we do not trust ourselves. Deep down, he is insecure about whether his belief in Samantha’s abduction is credible, and so he relies on others to evidence it. For me, I do not treat my experiences as legitimate, and so I need other people’s responses to give me the validation that I cannot find within myself.

If it weren’t already obvious, I am autistic. My predisposition to trust, taking things at face value, is one manifestation of my autism. That’s not to say it’s the same for every autistic person, of course, but for me and for Mulder, I believe it is. In general, he is one of the most clearly autistic-coded characters I have ever encountered. He is ostracised by his peers and written off as ‘spooky’ for being different, something that many of us go through. Maybe, like it is for me, that’s part of the reason why he trusts people right off the bat: he wants to get the rejection that he’s used to facing out of the way before he puts in any effort. Or maybe he’s just a bad judge of what is and isn’t appropriate in a social context, again very much a trait of autism. And that’s not to mention his devotion to the X-Files and to Scully. Him surrendering every part of himself to them is exactly how I relate to the world, because all-or-nothing thinking is a huge way in which my autism functions. I was actually only diagnosed with autism two years ago, and having representation, implied or otherwise, in a character as alike to me as Mulder has helped me settle into my new identity.

It would be remiss not to further explore the fact that Mulder wouldn’t be Mulder without Scully. In the pilot, he tells Scully about his theory because he desperately wants someone on his side. She ends up not being the person he thinks he wants, but the person he actually needs. Without her, he wouldn’t have made it to the place he does in ‘Closure’; she challenges the beliefs he uses to cope, but most importantly, she loves him through it. Scully shows Mulder how genuine love can be when you’re not just being told what you want to hear, and as a result, she becomes the only person whom he can truly rely upon. The most important similarity between me and Mulder is of course that I too am in love with Scully! Scully is an incredible character who I would love to write more about in her own right, but I don’t feel as personally connected to her as I do to Mulder. I guess I’ll just say that I hope that I, and every other Mulder out there, find our Scully. People like us have so much love to give. We love so much and so deeply that people who return our love in full are almost impossible to find. One in five billion, you could say.

I cannot wait to get to know different facets of my all-time favourite character as I finish watching ‘The X-Files’. I know he will only become more important to me, especially since I know he ends up struggling with depression like I do. I hope I’ve demonstrated in writing this how beyond grateful I am to have been introduced to him, someone who is practically more me than I am! The fandom is a wonderful place to be, but in writing this, I also aim to remind myself how much the show and Mulder’s character mean to me personally.

Like Mulder, I am constantly moving, driven by the thought that “I wouldn’t know what I’d be missing”. But every once in a while, something comes along that makes me want to stay with it forever. And ‘The X-Files’, specifically the character of Fox Mulder, is one of them.

#the x files #the x-files #x files #txf #fox mulder #mulder #mulder and scully #mulder x scully #msr #oubliette #demons #memento mori #redux #closure #comfort character #favourite character #personal #trauma #autism #trust no one #i want to believe

[wildernezz]

dead poets society scene that cannot be slept on any longer (im just rambling and analyzing the sillies and pretending to be smart. also spoilers loll)

I GET THAT THE DEAD POETS SOCIETY BARELY HAS A FANDOM BUT WHY DOES EVERYONE SLEEP ON THE PUNCH SCENE WITH CHARLIE AND CAMERON?? IT'S GENUINELY SO WELL WRITTEN AND PROBABLY ONE OF THE BEST DIALOGUE SCENES I'VE SEEN IN FILM??? HELLO?????

every single actor in this scene does such an amazing job. they genuinely all feel like such real and complex characters it's insane.

i don't care if you hate cameron's character but you cannot deny that his scene was amazingly pathetic. his actor did such a perfect job at portraying him almost like a rat backed into a corner. he's doing everything he can to save himself, telling himself he's the one in the right, the one with common sense, when he knows he's faking it. all his dominance is such a pathetic lie and it's genuinely impressive to watch it be portrayed so accurately. it is exactly what it's like to watch someone desperately claw for an ounce of respect. cameron was always a desperate character, and the moment he got the chance to drop his friends and come out "higher" than them, it just made him even sadder to watch.

and meanwhile charlie's the perfect example of failed justice and passion being outpoured all at once. he has so much determination and desire to stand up for what he believes, but it's all pouring out at once. he doesn't know how to handle all of it. he knows he's done for but he can't give up for the life of him, and it all comes out in a solid swing to cameron's face. that single punch probably sums up everything about charlie, and honestly everything i love about him as a character. he seems like a menace-y little bastard, but at the end of the day he just genuinely wants to do what he thinks is right. he's fiercely protective of the people he looks up to but he'll never admit it. that little shit has ZERO clue how to handle his emotions rationally and it's honestly respectable. he doesn't know exactly who he is, but his values are so strong that he's unknowingly guided by them. basically he's just a silly little guy and i hope he punches people more often :3

AND TODD THE BELOVED <33 he is so underrated in this scene it's insane. every word feels like it's falling out of him. he's lost his best friend and he's lost all control over himself. it's powerful seeing such quiet and reserved character unwillingly transform into everything they've been trying to keep down. i will forever be in love with how his character completely breaks down after neil's death. this is kinda just me projecting but he fr feels like a representation of all of my own thoughts when breaking down, except he's actually voicing them. todd supremacy for-fucking-ever.

THE OTHERS ARE ALSO SPECIAL TOO BUT THEY DONT GET A LOTTA LINES FOR ME TO ESPECIALLY ANALYZE SO IM JUST GONNA ADD RANDOM TIDBITS OF THE OTHERS HERE.

i absolutely adore how knox acts in this scene. especially his lines of "don't touch him charlie, you do and you're out," and then for that to be followed by "you don't know that" after charlie's little "i'm out anyway"?????? knox's entire personality in this movie might be about trying to rizz up girls (and it's a little concerning now but it was a different time guys please he's silly guys i swear), but he's honestly SOO sweet when he's not focused on that. he's just as protective of his friends and it's so nice seeing him be the voice of reason. like did u guys not see how quickly he reached for charlie when he was about to kick cameron's ass????? he genuinely wants the best for his friends and he knows them well enough to try and stop them from doing any irrational shit (even tho it failed later but shshsh). love knox for that.

meeks and pitts don't say anything in this scene, but their looks alone give off so much. you can just SEE how much meeks feels betrayed by cameron, and then pitts looks like he's still trying to process the fact that cameron would even do something like that. it's honestly so sad but god it's so amazing to watch.

anyways thank u for coming to my ted talk plspls ask me about films or drop ur random analyzations to me im so desperate to analyze my favorite little guys :33

#dead poets society #analyzing #ramblings #film loser analyzes 6 white boys real #i swear im normal

[morphinejunkie]

hii how are you? i hope you’re doing well :) i really love your fanfic crush, i’m writing a mello fanfic myself, but i’m having such a hard time capturing his essence, sometimes i get carried away writing him but then i realize it’s not really accurate, i either make him too angry, too much this, too much that, idk, do you have any tips for me? (only if you want, i just really love how you portray him, i think it’s really accurate so i thought what’s better than to ask you?) <3 ✨🌸

thank you very much!

mello was a character i struggled to write at first too. he’s a delicate tightrope walk between intelligence, aggression, coolness and (in my opinion) brevity. personally i find that the hardest thing is striking a balance that encompasses all four.

so i’ll break it down, this is what worked best for me.

1. use canon

the way i wrote mello, i referenced the original manga (and voice/diction in the dub anime) a lot. i would first listen to his lines and try to internalize his voice. and then i would study his body language in his panels and try to shift that body language and attitude into whatever scenario i’m writing.

mello is a pretty layered character, which i think a lot of people struggle with. he plays up the characteristics that people often associate with him (i.e. in the call with the president, he acts taunting and brash) when on his own turf he’s actually very calculating and careful (i.e. any scene in the mafia - he’s often staring into space, sprawled into a relaxed but aggressive position, and thinking).

i think a big thing to remember too is that mello made many decisions in canon that need to be backed up to create a holistic view of who he is. reverse-engineering mello’s character from his actions was a huge part of how i developed my mello as well - “why did mello do this? what motivations were urging him to do the thing he did? why are his emotions this way while he’s doing it?”

general rule of thumb is: if your mello would not do the things that canon mello did, the way that canon mello did, he’s probably ooc.

2. take him as a whole - not parts of him

i focused a lot of my energy on trying to capture mello as a whole. a lot of it is meeting mello where he is, not where you want him to be. assuming he is fully formed, an actual person, and you are getting to know him, not creating him from scratch. when i was no longer concerned about making mello do things that i wanted him to do, and instead interacting WITH mello as a fully formed character, i found it natural to hear his voice. near the end of crush i felt like i was just documenting them with a camera while matt & mello did what they did. they moved almost completely on their own and i was just there to capture it.

for me, especially in the beginning, i would often “practice” by throwing both matt & mello into a scenario with no expectation or plot, and seeing how they play off each other, without trying to move them from point a to point b. i found that let me understand their characters better — better than say a character study or a self-reflection would. in fact the bar scene was that exercise for me, and ended up setting the tone for the rest of the fic.

3. figure out all the different ways you can read mello, and figure out which works best for you

the one thing is, even if you study mello and take him as who he is, there’s not a lot to work from off the original series. a lot of him is further developed in fandom, and so there are various camps of interpretations of mello that are all equally valid & sound. i found that mapping out exactly how mello can be interpreted and figuring out where my mello lay on that scale helped me a lot in determining what i found was personally ic/ooc.

funnily enough this matrix was really helpful even though it was just a stupid joke post from back in the day. i really liked the way “mihael keehl” talked, i found it so cool and grounding. “priss” still exists though the details or manner of speaking has changed over the years, in fact twinky/glamourous mello remains one of the most common interpretations of his character which i personally rejected (i don’t think it reflects his body language in canon at all). “batshit” mello is time and place for me, but ultimately, not how i like to write him (as it only explains some of his actions in canon but not all).

of course writing mello in the end is wholly depends on your personal preference - you could do all of this and still end up with a different vision of mello as i did. as long as he is fully fleshed out to you, the details don’t matter.

#mello #crush #writing #capy123

[mimiteru]

I ACCDITENTLY PUT MY NITARA HC OUT OF THE DRAFTS WHAT I DIDNT EVEN FINISHED WRITING 😭😭

dude this is what happens when you have shity internet Dx i know there was a option to edit but before i realize that i deleted the post 🔫 idc anymore i'm gonna write it again

how tf does this app work i'm sorry mutual who reposted my draftJDKS

ANYWAYS MY NITARA DELULU HC LETS GO

tw: death of a character, mentions of vomit

• Remember Kahil? You know the vampire who once was user of the datusha/kriss and bc of it's power he kill most of the Vaeternus, moments later he commits suicide trapping the sword with him?

Well lets put more emotional damage and say this was a relative to Nitara, maybe a brother why not

(i rewatched the Nitara intros and her mother also died damn, that's rough buddy)

they had a really strong bond, so Nitara was broken and devastated by his brother's tragic end, and after a long time of grief, this "revelation" as she would say, came to mind. From this time she tries so hard to save her so no Vaeternus could face the fate of death

And you know, "trying" is a strong word, the coven at this point are kinda tired of her all the time visiting them and bringing her failed ideas

The coven are like: "yeah yeah you know why don't you go and try to take over outworld or something" as a joke just to get rid of her.

And she did go to Outworld so..

• Now, her voice... It's not the best, it's so monotone and she doesnt realize it

But now i can't stop thinking about her with a valley girl accent, the way she would say the word "like" repetitively in one sentence is insane

There were times when Havik just rip of his own ears to not hear her, she talks a lot

She likes to do monologues, i feel like it's normal for Vaeternus to have this... Theatrical way of speaking, that goes on and on

Nitara does not know how to lie, if you dig enough she would accidentally say the truth or let out her plans without knowing

• At first the interactions Nitara has with Rain were harsh but later he starts to understand the big problem that the Vaeternus were living in, so maybe these two will be allies in the future??? Please??

Tho at this point she is trying to persue ppl to help her cause, whether it's from the good guys or the bad guys, and not even god itself wants to make a solution to help the Vaeternus yeah she's fucked

With the fictional dead family i create around her it makes a little bit of sense when she's trying to make Smoke a vampire too, Nitara sees herself since the guy also lost his mom and sister

or instead he sees her brother in Smoke, which is kinda creepy and dark but thats how my girl copes <33 /j

• The Vaeternus have a way to go to Earthrealm from centuries ago, this could mean that the vampires have more noledge of human traditions, slangs and even technology than Outworld does

This can also includes Earthrealm pop culture, influencing the way they dress or act, there could be Vaeternus who moved to Earthrealm permanently, hiding in the shadows

Imagine miss girl tries to make chitchat with Havik, Darrius and Sareena making a Earthrealm references and everyone just look at her like "wtf r u talkin about?"

This is chronically online comunicating with normal people

Nitara finds Earthrealm movies about vampires fascinating by the way of how they portrayed her kind, bc sometimes those movies are so wrong and sometimes they are so accurate its scary

She finds the "familiar" character to be very useful, she will have it in mind and maybe find one of those to help her look for food and other plans

• There was a time when the vaeternus didnt need blood to maintain their survival (idk if it was on Liu Kang or Geras intros) and there was were other things they could have feed on, but little by little vampirism began to be part of their nature that it was impossible to change their ways, condemning their own species.

Trying to get back to a normal diet probably would take another millenia

And if they eat or drink something no blood related i imagine them vomiting A LOT and with a horrible stomach pain, not the best moment for a vampire

• Her eyes glow in the dark

Once Nitara tried to sleep upside down bc she saw it in one of those movies, and she find it so comfortable??? It's kinda embarrasing for her but she keeps sleeping on that position from now on

She's a failure, she's a loser, and i think that's beautiful

Yeah i don't have more to say, also

WWDITS MENTIONED‼️‼️

Yeah that's it bye

#i love my fail girl #mortal kombat #headcanon #nitara mk1 #mk1 headcanons #shitposting

[fluentmoviequoter]

I love love looooveee your Victor Vale fics, you depict him so well! Can I please request another (angst to) fluff with f!reader? Plot is up to you. Thank you and keep up the good work!

I am so glad to hear you love them!! Thank you so much; Victor is a character that I really love so I try especially hard to portray him at least somewhat accurately, and you just made my week! I hope I portrayed him well in this; apologies for its relatively short length, but I hope you enjoy and please let me know what you think!🤍

Summary: You side with Eli after Victor kills Angie, and it takes you ten years to join the winning team, unable to think for yourself at the hands of Eli and Serena.

Warnings: spoilers for Vicious, I changed a lot of events, angst to fluff, vague depictions of injuries, kind of open ending (if anyone wants part 2 lmk)

Word Count: 1.5k+ words

A/N: This is my last fic of 2023! I am so thankful for each and every one of you who has read, requested, and commented. I appreciate you more than you know and look forward to another year of writing! Happy New Year!✨

Picture from Pinterest

The Winning Team

Victor Vale is one of your best friends at Lockland. Or he was until he killed Angie Knight. While your emotions wage war within you, wondering how and why Victor would or could do that, Eli approaches you. He tells you about Victor’s mindset and how he tried to kill Eli.

“I’m leaving,” Eli tells you at the end of the shocking story. “And I think you should come with me.”

Someone moves in the shadows behind Eli. It feels like your intended answer is just out of reach in your mind, but you answer before you can find it.

“Okay. I’ll come with you,” you say.

“Go pack and meet me outside my dorm at 1,” Eli commands before leaving.

“You’re leaving with him?” Victor asks, suddenly standing behind you. “Don’t. He’s not telling the whole truth. You know just as well as I do that he is not who he pretends to be.”

“I’m going with him, Victor. You’re not who I thought you were, either.”

You brush past Victor, determined to get your things together and to Eli’s side as quickly as possible. Victor watches you go, aware that you’re in danger but unable to do anything about it.

✯✯✯✯✯

Ten years after leaving Victor, you know you made a mistake. You’re constantly aware that you can’t make your own decisions, especially when Eli tells you to do something. When he introduced you to Serena, you felt like she could see a bit too much of you, and things began to click into place.

“Run the search again, see if Victor has been found yet,” Eli demands, not even bothering to look at you anymore.

You stay in place, willing yourself to say no. Eli glances up, his brows furrowing as he repeats himself.

“Run the search.”

You nod, fighting each movement as you approach the computer and search again. Sleepless nights make it harder to fight back, but whenever you lay down, somewhat free to think for yourself, all you can think about is Victor. Wishing you’d listened and chosen to go with him instead brings tears to your eyes, but you aren’t strong enough to change anything now.

✯✯✯✯✯

“Call the police and tell them you were Victor Vale’s accomplice. Serena will help you get into the same room with him, and you can get some answers for us,” Eli says.

Your brain screams for you to refuse, but all you can do is cry and agree to do what he says. Maybe Victor will have found some answers and can help you. Your optimism doesn’t go far, slipping from your grasp as you’re put into the back of a police cruiser and transported to a questioning room.

When you’re put in the second car and driven to the far side of Merit, something loosens, and your thoughts come a little easier. Perhaps your optimism wasn’t entirely unfounded.

✯✯✯✯✯

The police let you go, angry that you switched your story and admitted that you’d only heard about Victor in passing. Narrowly escaping an obstruction charge, you walk out of the station and onto the streets of Merit. A blonde girl and a large black dog catch your attention, and you smile, deciding to talk to her to see if you can speak for yourself.

✯✯✯✯✯

“What do you mean she’s out of reach? Powers don’t work like that!” Eli screams.

“Don’t yell at me,” Serena replies. “And don’t throw another temper tantrum.”

Eli sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Find her and I can get her back on our side.”

“If it isn’t too late,” Eli mumbles.

✯✯✯✯✯

“Victor?” you ask, glancing up from your conversation about Dol.

“Sydney, go back to Mitch,” he says, looking directly at you. “Now.”

“But she-“

“Now.”

Sydney drops her head, whispering goodbye to you as she leads Dol away. Victor looks as dangerous as ever, but you’re glad that shrinking away is your choice.

“I’m sorry,” you say quickly. “I should have listened to you. But I know things that can help you, Victor.”

“You didn’t believe me. Why should I believe you?”

“It’s a really long story. I am so sorry, I know you were right and I’m sorry I left. Please just let me try to make up for it. At least a little.”

You step forward, and Victor steps back, keeping the distance between you. Your heart falls as his eyes remain impassive, and he refuses to listen to you.

“Vic, please,” you whisper.

“Not this time,” he says, convinced that you’re trying to get close to him for Eli.

Turning up the dial, he watches you drop to your knees in pain before he leaves. You watch his trench coat blow behind him, blurring with your tears until you can’t see anything, finally succumbing to the pain.

Victor wishes he could trust you, but he’s learned his lesson. People aren’t what you think. Anyone willing to trust Eli once is too far gone to be saved.

✯✯✯✯✯

Victor and Mitch stand in the shadows, waiting for Serena. Unknown to them, you’ve followed Serena since she arrived in Merit. You know that if she finds you and talks to you, it will be over, so you wear earplugs and keep your distance. Tonight, though, is the night everything ends.

Stepping through the fence, you grab Serena’s coat and pull her back.

“This is my decision,” you whisper in her ear.

✯✯✯✯✯

Victor throws his arm across Mitch’s chest to stop him when he surges forward. They watch Serena slump before falling to the ground. Her killer disappears into the shadows before Sydney screams, and they run into the Falcon Price project.

✯✯✯✯✯

Hearing a scream, you have a paralyzing fear that it’s Sydney. You just killed her sister, but the brief conversation you had with her created a soft spot. Rushing into the building, you realize you’re willing to give your life for Sydney. And, given the choice, you’ll do it. Tears grow in your eyes as you make the first important choice in years, running headfirst into danger.

✯✯✯✯✯

Victor stands over Eli’s body, a knife dangling from Victor's blood-stained hand. You slide to a stop, not expecting such a gruesome scene.

“Where’s Sydney?” you ask, breathless from running through the construction site.

Victor’s eyes lift to yours before he steps over Eli and takes your face in his hands.

“What happened?” he demands, looking at your blood-soaked front.

“She’s gone,” you whisper. “I’m me again.”

Victor immediately knows what you mean. You’re the one who killed Serena. You watch his eyes move as he realizes that you didn’t choose to abandon him, that you did the right thing, that you were telling the truth, and worst of all, he hurt you for no reason.

“Are you okay?” he asks, his voice softer than usual as his hands drop to your shoulders.

It isn’t much, but you think it’s Victor’s form of an apology. He’s exactly the same as he was ten years ago, or as close as he can be following ten years of fighting for his life and inflicting pain.

“Let me help,” you say, resting your hands on his chest. “With everything.”

Victor nods, and you smile for the first time in too long.

✯✯✯✯✯

As the adrenaline drains from your system, you begin to feel every injury you’ve encountered doing Eli’s dirty work. Victor notices your limp and offers an arm, letting you lean on him as he supports you. Mitch, Sydney, Dol, and Dom await Victor when you arrive. He ignores their questions, leading you to a private area before helping you sit. 

“What happened?” Victor asks, setting an open first aid kit beside you.

“Serena, I guess,” you answer quietly, bracing yourself as he cleans your wounds. “I know Eli was manipulating me, but there was this tugging in my mind from the moment Eli asked me to go with him. Serena has been around longer than we knew, at least that’s what I think.”

Victor nods, working silently. Your pain numbs with each of his gentle touches.

“You’re numbing my pain,” you accuse.

“It’s my fault. Least I can do.”

“It’s not. Vic, you need to forgive yourself, you didn’t know.”

“I should have. I know how Eli is - was, so I knew what you were up against, and I still left. That’s on me.”

“I forgave you,” you whisper, “as soon as I left. And then again when you left.”

Victor hums, closing the first aid kit and kneeling before you.

“I can’t forgive myself,” he murmurs, “not without your help.”

Victor brushes his lips against yours, but the door opens, and he pulls away too quickly.

“This isn’t over yet,” Mitch says, tossing a newspaper to Victor. He smiles and winks at you while Victor picks up the paper.

You read the headline over Victor’s shoulder, wrapping your hands around his bicep.

“I’m glad I’m on the right team now,” you say.

“Me too,” Victor says, tossing the paper aside and cupping your face. “You were always meant to be on my side. The winning team.”

#victor vale x reader #victor vale #vicious #vicious ve schwab #requests #fem!reader

[sidsinning]

Do I have contrarian MCU opinions

Spiderman FFH bad

But that ass powerpoint presentation of all the dead heroes after Endgame was hilariously accurate for Gen Z and I loved it anyone who was mad it disrespected their favs can stay mad

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2>>>>>> Vol. 1

Avengers 1 and 2 meh

Captain America 1 is the best one, the other two took the LIFE outta me to watch besides the Spiderman scenes in Civil War, and the elevator scene bc I thought Community's parody of it was hella funny

Captain America boring

Tony Stark would be absolutely despised if he was a woman and that kinda sours his character for me

But also his type of character is one I ain't into in the first place

I can't stand the way Black Widow is portrayed in every single movie

MCU women 85% of the time not great characters

Aunt May only got real character in the last Spiderman movie and it was way too late like why was she just a sexy aunt joke for 2/3 of them- I want the old lady May back

Doctor Strange is only good in the other heroes' movies as a side character

Moon Knight is awesome and I want that season 2

Thanos is dumb and I hate how everyone just yelled that he was evil instead of proposing other solutions to his problem like at least TRY you know he's not gonna listen to any morality arguments

The Guardians are my favorite characters in the whole MCU and are the only ones I hold real emotional investment in so if the third one sucks I might be done

Thor Ragnorak is the only good Thor movie

HUGE disappointment that Thor left the Guardians that quick after Endgame bc I wanted GOTG 3 to have him as a prominent side character idk what they would do but it would've been fun

May have more but this is all for now

#bye #sidrabbles

[rose-blooms-red]

So like. Ive been trying to work myself up to writing again seeing as i havent had any fucking energy or words or brain (energy/creativity) or like, literally fucking anything for months now. (The reasons for which are Many and Exhausting and I am So Ready for this year to be over lmao. And also bodies are fucking awful and so are brains (mental health plus the previously mentioned) and also just some personal stuff.) And part of that is reading fic.

The downsides to reading fics is that I sometimes see the most godawful fucking takes about Kori and Dick/Kori while trying to find/read fics, both just trying to read regular fic and fics specifically focused on trauma like I tend to seek out. Like. She in particular isn't a character I seek out to read about and, though I do love when she shows up, I don't really read much with her as a focus. She just doesn't grab the parts of my brain that would lead to that (tho tbf, only Dick and Wally really do that in DC, though there are a few others that are close) and as much as I can love dick/kori and fics with them they aren't really the ship I go for. It can be a nice read, but it's never really been my thing (i have similar feelings on babs/dick, tho to be completely honest I also like dick/babs less than dick/kori. I rarely if ever read romantic dick/babs, and basically never where the relationship is current lol. And surprisingly, given the givens, not completely because of the Tarantula situation) Tho tbf, romance in general can be tricky with me. (Listen. Ik I write a lot of shipfics but that doesn't mean I'm always comfy with it, or ig more accurately how it's portrayed a lot of the time. Especially if I feel like it's taking away from platonic relationships.) But like. The amount of times I run into complete like, idk demonization?? Of her is kinda fucking infuriating. For numerous reasons. And I'm saying this as a Dick Grayson fan.

Like, I haven't really covered.... any of the whole thing in fault lines yet (listen.... LISTEN I am Tired and busy and have health issues and fault lines is a fucking monster of a fic, I'm doing my best. There's kind of a fucking lot of shit to cover tho, even with the things I don't include from Canon that I either don't know or don't really want to add because of various reasons, and I am one person. One very exhausted person. And it's a really fucking hard fic to write sometimes okay,) not to mention the fact that it's narrated by an unreliable narrator which means the little bits that have come up are SKEWED they are SKEWED, Dick is not always right in his p.o.v of things!! But anyways, back to the point, even though it hasn't really come up yet Kori is never gonna be introduced as the villain of that relationship. Relationships and why they work or fall apart are fucking complicated!!!!! ESPECIALLY when trauma is involved. Like, I'm not gonna begrudge you if you don't like her because I'm not a fucking asshole. And I'm not gonna really try and force someone who doesn't like her for the reasons I've seen in fics surrounding Mirage and/or dick/kori's relationship. The former because I do understand why, even knowing her side of it all, it might not endear her to you, and the latter because I honestly do not have enough energy (emotional or in general) nor desire to get involved in anyway over internet fucking discourse for fictional fucking characters. I'm here to enjoy myself and relax/vent some of my shit through characters I love and world's I love, not to make myself upset because I get emotional easily when misunderstandings and characters being treated unfairly happen.

Which might seem at odds to what I said earlier about godawful takes. But part of my problem is that it's never really Kori in the fics. It's always just this one dimensional fanon version of her thats only there to be the villain. There are fics I read with her in what might count as an antagonist role, if you really feel like labeling it that, that deal with everything that dont do that and still manage to get all their points across or succeed in their writing. Usually just leaning into her not quite understanding that what Mirage did to him is rape because her experiences with rape was so different to his. Or even just the fact that she was so wrapped up in her trauma responses and her hurt and anger she didn't see it from his point of view. Or hell!!! Even just being herself, but not seeing past her own feelings of betrayal. And also just that. Relationships are Complicated!!!!!!

There's no fucking need to turn her into a hateful bitch with no actual purpose or character outside of being a prop to turn dick into an incapable, honestly kinda infantilized, hurt little 'owo' child.

Especially not when she is literally also a fucking rape victim.

And once again, I'm saying this as a Dick Grayson fan who honestly doesn't quite enjoy Kori-centric things.

There is just!!! No need!!!! Please there are complexities. There is a character there!!! And it is, honestly, so fucking boring when having her as an actual complex character offers so much more for one to explore in a story.

It is always more interesting and captivating when your characters are people not caricatures.

#dc #dick grayson #koriand'r #kori anders #ro rambles #discourse #more a vent but ya know #covering my bases lmao #oh yeah #mentions of #tw: rape

[ni-kol-koru]

hiii nikolija - transmasckagami here. for the ask game: 7, 8, and 20 for takao?

Ohhh I love Takao, so thank you for the ask and all the numbers! So sorry that you waited a while for this, I needed some time to collect my thoughts on these questions! 🧡

7. What's something that the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

Honestly, I think that Kazunari is one of the most accurately portrayed character in this fandom! He is one of the most popular characters (TOP 3 according to the Character Popularity Poll held after Season 3) and is overall beloved by everyone! He used to be my favorite character back in the day sooo I saw a bunch of fanart and comics and read a bunch of fanfiction with him. I was always pretty pleased with how the authors and artists portayed him! ⭐️

After all, his character is pretty straight-forward in the anime and the manga, misunderstanding him is literally almost impossible. He is easy-going, he wants to have fun, he is friendly and overall a pretty chill and pleasant person. He is also caring and thoughtful, always knowing what Shintaro's lucky item is and carrying it himself sometimes! He can get pretty worried about his friends and teammates when things start going downhill, but he is always trying to brighten up the atmosphere and cheer everyone up! He is also really passionate about things, like basketball and collecting and trading cards! Even though he's usually goofing around, being loud and having fun, he knows when and how to get serious, like we've seen in all matches he's played. We know all his basketball skills come from hard-work and practicing, so, he is also someone who knows he deserves the things he got and knows how to cherish them. He has really good observation skills and seems to be aware of his capabilities, strenghts and weaknesses, he is not afraid of admitting to be wrong and he always tries to be a better version of himself, which is a thing to respect! Another beautiful thing is that he is in touch with his emotions. When he is happy he laughs, when he is sad he cries, he knows how to let anger out, he knows how to show he is uneasy, no shame or hesitation when expressing how he's feeling in the moment. He seems to know how to follow his intuition, too, following it when he is passing the ball around the court to his teammates! 💫

Overall, he is really just an incredible person and the fandom is pretty aware of all of his qualities! There's always the right amount of fooling around, right amount of seriousness, raw emotions, passion, understanding... The fandom literally always slays when it's about Kazunari 🧡

8. What's something that the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

The only thing I have seen in some works that I didn't really like was when Kazunari was portrayed to be absolutely delluded and deranged in his obsession with Shintaro. They made Shintaro the center of Kazunari's universe and had everything evolve around him. People might defend it because he thought that way before (when Teiko beat his team and he quit basketball but continued praticing just to beat them some day) but it's just childish spite in my opinion or just a weird way he motivated himself to become better. Obsessing over a single person is not really something I think Kazunari would be like, especially if that person is not a significant other or rejected his love. He can surely distribute his love, time and compassion so all his friends and family members can get around the equal amount. I also believe that he can love his significant other in a healthy way by not obsessing over them, stalking them or having his happiness and moods depend on them. Yeah. I just think he has a healthier mind. 💛

20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn't matter?

Well, in my heart, Shintaro and Kauznari are more than friends, so I am kicking Shintaro out immediately. A person I think Kazunari would be incredible friends with is... you might have already guessed it or you might have seen it coming... Kotaro! (I am so obvious, sorry) ⭐️

They're very similar in a few ways and similar people naturally get along! They're close with age so they share their High School and teenage struggles, they play the same sport, they're the little light of their teams and their personalities are almost identical! Friendly and easy-going, they're loud and they are always looking for ways to make things fun! Honestly, I just want them to meet each other and be friends and be goofy together. I think they would boost each other's energy and that they would do a lot of fun and exciting things all the time and just really enjoy each other's company! They would always agree to do some random and crazy things and when everyone rejects their silly ideas, they will know that they can always do it all with each other! For example, would anyone at Rakuzan easily agree to going to the theme park just to try out the scariest roller coasters with Kotaro for fun on a random Thursday during the summer vacation? Not really. Well, Kazunari surely would! They would just be best buddies with many crazy stories and memories... 🧡

#knb #kuroko no basuke #kuroko no basket #takao kazunari #thanks for the askkk!! #and againn so sorry that it took me so long #i hope you will like reading this hehe #and i hope i answered your questions!! #alsoooo i really love takao ♡ #he used to be my favorite character before kotaro and he will always and forever have this special place in my heart #writing this little post about him made me so nostalgicc #i also miss making fanarts of him #gotta draw him ahh #at this point i will just draw all shuutoku members #i love them all too much

[solomons-poison]

Hiiii! For the writers truth & dare ask game -🔪🦷🏜️ please?

Hello hello! Thanks for sending in~

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

Hmmmm. Often times, the weird things I research aren't for writing at all but just for my own curiosity, my writing needs are pretty basic unfortunately. Maaaaybe nuances on kinks and idioms specific to a culture????? Ancient hair care treatments???? That's really about it, when it comes to writing subjects

🦷 ⇢ share some personal wisdom or a life hack you swear on

I am unfortunately Master of Struggling so I don't think I have any good advice or life hacks. Probably best thing is, as someone with memory issues and short attention span thanks to my ADD, write things down as soon as you think of them. If you go "Oh I'm sure I'll remember this later", just know that that is the devil talking. If you can't write it down, make a song about it. Whatever you can do to keep it fresh in your mind.

If we're talking about writing life hacks, I'd say this: if there's an idea you want to write but don't have the energy to write out complex paragraphs or not sure how to start it, I would start with bullet points. There's a lot to think about when writing such as dialogue and emotions and the hook, but if you can't remember all of what you wanted to discuss to begin with, then it doesn't really matter. A bullet list of your main ideas/thoughts will help you so much when you want to tackle the project in full.

🏜️ ⇢ what's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

I love comments about the emotions people feel when they read my stuff, particularly if it's relating to an emotion that I was trying to portray in the story 🥺 like people saying they can feel the heartache, or the love between characters, etc.

Also, I know it's a heavily debated topic and is up to each individual how they feel about it, but I personally really like when someone feels I portrayed a character accurate to their source. Like I understand that what I write will always be OOC by technicality, cause I'm not the creator of said character. But I want my reader to be able to imagine this scenario happening in canon, I want them to be able to get immersed in the story better rather than feel like they're reading about someone else.

#˗ˏˋ꒰ minx replies ꒱

[minimutty]

Minis FE Awakening Blind Playthrough Chp 11

I'm a bit late but we back! Back to plot and more marriages! And apparently a time skip I suppose. First up: Gank Gangrel in what was the most anticlimactic revenge ever, but Emmeryn's been avenged, so that's already been squared away, woop woop.

First up, suppports marriages. Maribelle and Ricken. Idk they seemed to be around the same age range, so I just went with it. Also Ricken and her interacted in story so that's more than enough inventive for me. Still continuing with the theme of just marrying as opposed to like dating or getting to know each other. It's a miracle any marriage in this game lasts more than a year.

Next, Lonqu and Cordelia. Honestly I'm just gonna marry em off bc Lonqu wasn't like, violently sexist to her. He actually was pretty nice and teaches her lance stuff, and he blushes in like their C support, and in a FE support game this is more than enough. They should get married soon.

Back to plot plot plot. Gangrel is backkkk.

Typical dumb villain stuff. Shoulda just killed us when we were 10 levels lower. He's so dumb. Uh, anyway, he is being evil and so evil that eventually the mook soldiers realize how evil he blatantly is, so they all leave.

This soldier probably died for saying this lmao

For some reason the game and plot try to make what Emmeryn did like a super impactful thing, but she literally said one thing about "war is bad" and then chucks herself off a cliff and its portrayed as this super moving and motivational thing? I really don't get it. I've seen people do a lot worse and it not move people, but I guess this is a kid's game so welp welp. Good enough contrivance.

I guess it's good enough to make our lives easier.

We finally get our dancer! Wooop best girl is here by factor of being dancer! Dancer important!

As a reward I'm gonna try to marry her off to Libra idk. I actually haven't checked if he can.

Gameplay-wise I was a dumbass and didn't see Gangrel's range and he killed Chrom with the leven sword, which I recognize from Smash! Be glad there's image limits bc it cuts out a lot of my stupid deaths because playing as many FE games as I have doesn't stop me from being an idiot. I think that's just a given for my life I think.

Anyway we win, I try to get some more lvls for Virion, and we finish the Plegia arc! At least that's what I think this arc is.

Chrom lampshades that the credits screen didn't show and we have a temporary happily after after where all the hets all get married and have kids asap, which I think is historically accurate to the end of irl wars.

Actually this does explain why Chrom didn't call himself this. Coulda sworn FEH said differently but I'm actually surprised they explained it, props.

Apparently ppl who play this part blind get jumpscared if they don't know Chrom gets force married here to whoever has the highest support. I knew this thanks to the power of FEH and memes, so I just married him off to first girl.

TIMESKIP. Chrom asks what his eugenics kid's stats are still looks the same but now he has a kid. Isn't he like 19 now? Did he have the kid at 17? Well I guess medieval times idk. Sumia, Chrom's wife doesn't want to bother mothering and demands to join Chrom in I think the next bad thing to happen.

Suma dgaf about the kid it's time to more fight. Who cares about postpartum recovery. Also Lucina's eye automatically denotes her as a main character. The benefits of royal wet nurses I guess.

The Roommates(tm) have married banter that's more emotional than any interaction between Chrom and his wife, and then we get revealed to the next Bad Thing plot.

Apparently this place called Valm is attacking us bc some guy named Walhart (?) is being mean and evil, I sure hope his motivations are like 2% more interesting than Gangrel's.

Virion is back and acts like he wasn't part of our army like 2 years ago, and comes with what I think is his retainer, Cherche, whom I recognize from FEH.

Anyway Viri here says that he was from Valm and came back bc Walhard and wants to help stop before he invades the world or whatever, so I guess that's our next plan!

Agh, I ran out of images again, but anyway Virion is being a weird womanizer so in response I probably will just keep him single, and then I get Donnel & Lissa support, Lonqu & Cordelia, and Virion & Miriel. More supports, more plot!

Conclusion: I think that's the end of Arc I. Gangrel existed to kill of Emmeryn and make Chrom exalt, and I'm guessing this next guy Walhart will probably do something similar? For now I'm focusing mostly on trying to get as many ppl married off as possible, but I'm looking forward to whatever happens next bc I honestly have no idea.

Hasta!

#minisfeawakening #fe #fire emblem #fire embem awakening #darn image limits #wel #its not as bad as twitter

[heyheydidjaknow]

Hi! First of all I'd like to say that i think u have great writing skills and you've always managed to portray L really accurately <3 I feel like i m addicted to ur fics! Now, i know u're writing a longer fic and u're probably busy as it is, but when u have time, would u mind doing some headcanons or smth about how L would behave if he realised he might be interested in someone? Would he go full research, "imma find out everything i can about them" like? Or would he prefer to learn stuff the old school way, by talking more to the person? Not yandere L btw, just the usual. Thank you so much!

It may be 2 am but I will never not take a bit of time out of my day to talk headcanons. Also, thank you very much for the compliment.

There isn’t a straightforward answer to this one. It’s very dependent on circumstance and on who you are and your relation to him. The general consensus is that, if he ever stops to consider his feelings for you, whatever conclusion he personally draws will be filed away right next to all the trauma as “things to deal with later”. This is not for lack of sense awareness— he can and will admit that he had feelings for you pretty easily— but for a general understanding that being in a relationship with him would he insufferable. He would feel bad because he would barely have time for you and any time the two of you spend together would probably be uncomfortable for you, and even if you were interested in him there isn’t much of a point if you’re just going to drop him once you figure out he literally cannot settle down. As such, any and all romantic feelings will be promptly and aggressively ignored unless you make an effort to make a move.

But that doesn’t mean he just stops thinking about you; if you could just shelf emotions his job would be much easier. He wouldn’t stalk you or anything and he certainly wouldn’t make an effort to go look up your information, but you best believe that he is going to profile you. Sure, maybe you will never meet him again, and sure, maybe you two will never be in a relationship, but in a hypothetical scenario where that is on the table, how compatible would you two be? What sort of food would you like? What about music? What was your upbringing like and how did that affect your personality and if he met your parents— if he suspects you have parents— how would be the most effective way to impress them? Would he need to impress them or would you rather he not interact with them at all? What sort of career should you consider? He may only have a few data points, but he isn’t about to just not connect those dots. The justification is that this is an exercise in character profiling; after all, it’s important to make sure your skills are still sharp. Of course, the reality is just that he wants an excuse to think about you, but he doesn’t need to think about that.

But if we’re talking in terms of someone in an active relationship, he does try to do things the old fashioned way. Intentional extreme analyzation is for work. This is leisure, and if he can help it— he can’t but he tries— he wants that separation to be as distinct as possible. This whole relationship is odd enough; no need to strain it any more than he’ll have to by virtue of being himself.

#death note #death note lawliet #death note x reader #death note x you #death note x y/n #dn lawliet #l lawliet #l x reader #lawliet x reader #l headcanon #ryuzaki lawliet #death note headcanons #headcanon

[sxvenz]

Okay but the real question is who’s your favorite spider-man and why?

ANDREW GARFIELD 100%

that’s not to say that tobey and tom were bad, because they were fantastic but tasm spidey has me feeling things. I don’t have a least favorite though so none of this is in order !

THESE ARE JUST MY OPINIONS AND PREFERENCES !

tobey! spidey:

tobey is not my favorite spiderman, but only because his character has the same energy as every other male protagonist written in the late 90’s - early 2000’s. kind of cringe (esp. the dialogue), very exaggerated underdog energy. I honestly can’t be too mad about it because it IS an early 2000’s movie, but they tried too hard to appeal to a teen audience. I will say however,,, I actually really enjoy his movies !! but I credit that primarily to the villains; I think willem dafoe (green goblin) performed the best in the entire series (as well as doc ock and jjj). I wasn’t crazy about what they did with Venom but he was kinda hot so n e wayz. I also loved some of the awkwardness, including the ridiculous way peter reacted to getting powers and waking up with abs.

in the first movie, I feel like peter is just kind of flat, as well as MJ, but their characters are much better to me in the other two movies (esp the 2nd which is my favorite of the three). I never really grew to care about MJ that much, but I did like gwen! I will say that tobey’s portrayal of adult peter was perfect; ik we haven’t really seen grown peter yet from tom or andrew, but I genuinely don’t think either of them could do it better than tobey did. I also LOVED the chemistry between peter and harry.

cons to tobey! spidey

flat characterization in first movie

tobey is just very monotonous in general which isn’t a big deal, I just personally don’t love it

very late 90’s - early 2000’s characterization that they could’ve fixed. def was just trying to appeal to a teen audience (bad writing)

cringe dialogue

unlikable love-interest (bad writing) they both sucked in the relationship straight up

pros to tobey! spidey

perfect portrayal of adult! peter (temperament, environment, etc)

fantastic villains (and their respective actors)

peter + harry dynamic !!! very well-written surprisingly and their chemistry is great

decently comic-book accurate (probably the most)

tom! spidey:

tom had to portray a younger version of peter parker and without showing his origin story which I felt was already a disadvantage to him. luckily tom is a fantastic actor and I loved the writing so it ended up not being a big deal. his movies/characterization kind of go off track from comic-book accuracy, especially with side characters but I felt like it was a more modernized version of spiderman. socially, it’s A LOT more realistic compared to what we see from tobey’s spidey in school. the dynamics are very fun and well written, his peter is so cute and hard not to enjoy !

there are a few things I don’t like about tom’s peter and it’s mostly centered around his naivety. I don’t even mind that he’s emotional either, I just feel like his energy has not changed in the slightest over the course of his movies (maybe not including nwh). while yes, this is a younger peter parker, I feel like he’s notably less clever than the other versions of spiderman. yeah he’s good in school/science but that’s as much as they really do with that and I don’t love it. they pinned a bit too much of his characterization on his dynamic with tony stark (which I do love their relationship, but it admittedly causes some issues). I can blame most of the problems with this spidey on the fact that they had to find a way to include him in the mcu. Also I love zendaya’s MJ and think that aging down aunt may was a horrible choice creatively.

cons to tom! spidey

I don’t think aging him down and excluding his origin story was very smart at all but it wasn’t majorly disappointing

notably not as clever as the other two portrayals (still intelligent though)

lack of comic book accuracy

lack of his own story; everything kind of traces back to the avengers/shield/stark. too much of his characterization relied on tony stark, excluding the mentor aspect of things. like, peter didn’t get to do enough learning on his own.

aged down aunt may :( Marisa did great but the value in May’s character just kind of went down a bit. the fact that she’s old makes things all the more emotional and they took that away. I almost feel like the sentiment that was meant for may ended up going towards / focused on tony

pros to tom! spidey

fantastic acting and casting !

great/funny writing ! lack of cringe which I love

very likable love interest ! zendaya is lovely and the character change on MJ was really charming. it goes to show that a character doesn’t always have to be comic accurate to be good.

likable side characters and school dynamics ! Ned and MJ supremacy. it’s a pretty realistic representation of life in modern high school. Beefy white guys are not the only popular bullies anymore.

tony / peter dynamic. I know I said it focused too much on tony, but this relationship has a very special place in my heart, especially because the tony saw himself in peter. I REALLY wish they spent more time giving this dynamic to Harley/Tony instead, so that Peter could’ve been more independent.

andrew! spidey:

my beloved. he’s both my favorite spiderman and peter parker for an abundance of reasons and I only wish he had gotten better villains and a better second movie. andrew’s acting was perfectly spot on for peter parker in the beginning; his initial selfishness because of his trauma and the way he treated ben/may was represented really well to me. his cleverness and interest in science is shown right off the bat simply through the tech he built to lock his door lol and he didn’t even have to be the smartest in his class. GWEN !! andrew and emma’s chemistry is forever unmatched and gwen was perfect ! loved that peter was ranked 2nd to her in school/intelligence. I really liked how he was represented as unpopular in school, a modern showing of a “weird kid”. yet still had a sense of justice that’s shown when he stands up to Flash. His willingness to make jokes and use his wit as Spiderman really hit the mark for me as teenage peter! Definitely the best Spiderman personality in my opinion.

Something I didn’t like was the whole side plot with his parents deaths, I feel as though it didn’t fit in with the second movie at all and they should’ve just ended it at the fact that his dad was just trying to keep his work from being weaponized. I also don’t like any of the villains that much despite feeling sooo bad for max lol. Harry Osborne !! there was 0 chemistry between Peter and harry and I hated watching them together on-screen (harry was sexc tho).

cons to andrew! spidey

literally the whole 2nd movie; they were just doing too much ! (bad writing, great acting from main characters tho)

bad choice in villains

he adapted to being spiderman maybe a little too fast; could’ve show more awkwardness/fails. I feel like most super hero movies do this though.

0 harry/peter chemistry absolutely none. both great actors tho fr.

pros for andrew! spidey

best characterization in my opinion, especially his attitude change / confidence and wittiness as spiderman

fantastic acting from the main characters!

extremely likable love interest !

clear cleverness (esp. in dialogue) despite not being the top of his class

the peter/gwen chemistry !!!

the peter/may dynamic ! definitely the best of the three in this category

emotional but not cringe, which is the goal y’all

OK SO YEAH. I might have went all-out on answering this but I am very passionate. I was out on the streets at 12 years old fighting for MY LIFE defending andrew’s spiderman and nothing has changed.

I encourage other people to tell me your fave spiderman and why !

#spiderman #tasm #the amazing spider man #peter parker #peter parker x reader #tasm!peter parker #yandere peter parker #yandere spiderman #tobey maguire #andrew garfield #tom holland #zendaya #who’s the best spiderman? #who is your fave and why?

[cilil]

❀ 𝕋𝕒𝕜𝕖 𝕚𝕥 𝕤𝕝𝕠𝕨

Prompt(s): Demiromantic rep + coming out + I guess they're also gay like almost every fic on my blog Characters: Lúilírë/Airilin Synopsis: Two Maiar, a budding romance and a confession. Warnings: /

Author's Note: So yeah, I know I'm late, but I keep my promises. Here's some LuiLin! Also small disclaimer before we begin: I'm doing my best to portray these prompts accurately and provide some decent rep, also drawing from my own personal experience at times. Feel free to reach out if there's something you think I got wrong, but also keep in mind that experiences differ and are still equally as valid. Thank you♡

"F-for me?" Despite his best efforts, Lúilírë stutters slightly when a gorgeous bouquet of water lilies is presented to him. 

"No, I just spend my days swimming around in lakes to pick flowers for fun and then show them to others so they can appreciate me," Airilin says in a light, playful tone. The mischievous twinkle in his violet eyes and the jolly swishing of his tail betray his amusement. 

Is he just messing with me or is he... Lúilírë wonders – and not for the first time – but after a moment of hesitation, he accepts the gift with a small smile. 

The bouquet is so big that he needs both hands to hold it. Every single flower is as flawless as it could be, carefully selected and handpicked, and a thin sheen of glitter covers their petals, something he has learned to identify as Airilin's signature. Lúilírë can tell that his... acquaintance? friend? fellow Ainu he's found himself thinking about in strange and exciting ways sometimes? put a lot of effort into this gift, and he wants to tell him how much he appreciates it, yet – 

When he looks up and meets those wonderful, alluring eyes, his normally quick and sharp mind fails him. Airilin looks at him expectantly, waiting for him to say something, and it seems to Lúilírë as if he can see the flow of his emotions in his gaze, like waves crashing on a beach. There's joy, excitement and something resembling hope, there's nervousness, worry and something akin to hurt. 

Lúilírë has long since decided that he likes Airilin. Despite his moodiness and habits of messing with those around him, he finds himself drawn to the beautiful water spirit, admiring him, laughing with him, allowing him to drag him away from his work every once in a while. He has happily entertained the occasional physical advances as well, chalking it up to Airilin's playfulness for the most part, but allowing himself to dream of more in the privacy of his chambers in Ilmarin. Yet in moments like this, Lúilírë wonders if, under the pretence of games and casual flirting, there's something else the other Maia wants – and if it is something he can and wants to give, if he's ready for whatever has remained unspoken between them thus far.

"These flowers are very lovely," Lúilírë says, trying to keep his expression even so it doesn't reflect the same nervousness he detects within the other Maia. 

"To be honest, I-I don't know what to say... y-you really didn't have to..." 

He trails off as words fail him once again. Airilin raises himself from the pool he has appeared from, balancing on his tail to be on eye level with the strategist, and reaches out to brush his hand against his cheek. Lúilírë remains completely still, allowing himself to enjoy the calming feeling of his companion's cool, slightly wet touch. A few glittering ice crystals form on his cheek, much to the water spirit's delight. 

"I like you a lot if you haven't noticed," Airilin says, his melodious voice unusually soft. 

"L-like as in...?"  

"Yes. As in liking you very much and more than a friend. And..." 

A moment of silence ensues, interrupted only by light splashing noises as Airilin's tail twitches nervously. 

"I... haven't really felt like this in a while. Or at all; I'm not quite sure. All I know is that I like you and I want you. But... if you don't want something like that... we can also just... you know, have fun. Or do nothing at all. I don't mind."

He looks down at the bouquet in Lúilírë's hands in an attempt to hide his blush. 

"Just... tell me if you want this too. I don't want to feel like a fool for liking someone again."

Again? Did he have other lovers in the past?

Lúilírë hesitates before responding. Part of him wants to ask about it, yet he feels like this isn't the time to pry. It's not like Airilin to be so open and direct, making him wonder whether those strange feelings between them have been on his mind for a while now as well. 

He lifts his hand to catch the other Maia's just as he's about to withdraw and instinctively interlaces their fingers. Never before has he initiated such a gesture, Lúilírë realises only after he already feels Airilin reciprocating, his claws gently scraping over the back of his hand; but it feels good. 

"I have never... done anything like this before," he admits. Being honest is the least he can do, he tells himself. "And I like you a lot as well, I simply haven't... figured out where I want to go from here. Would you mind... taking it slow?"

Lúilírë expects to see disappointment, yet to his surprise Airilin brightens up and nods eagerly. 

"You know what, little pearl? That's even better. I'm going to need some time as well."

His usual grin returns and he starts gently tugging on the other Maia's hand. Lúilírë feels like a weight has been lifted from his heart and smiles back; it's strangely relieving to finally admit what has been on his mind and to be assured that Airilin wasn't upset with him. 

Little pearl...

"So, um... what should we do now-?" he asks, only to be pulled into the pool and find a pair of strong arms and a tail wrapping around him. 

Airilin laughs. "Now I take you for a swim while you hold onto those flowers." 

If you enjoyed, please consider liking and reblogging!♡

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[shibaraki]

hi! i hope you are having a great day or evening! i have been following you for little over a week, and have enjoyed the way you write and communicate on your blog. it’s inspiring, really. /gen

i just got done with reading your current work: “the kids are going to be alright.” and i wanted to express to you how your work quite literally made my entire evening. /gen

i made sure to check for your ask rules, and so i’ll just say it here. “the kids are going to be alright” is one of the best stories i have read this year, and honestly in a very long time. /gen

from the way you expressed the change of the world post-war arc, down to the characters. it was raw, and real and emotional. from the bottom of my heart, it made me emotional of how accurate your story portrays how everyone would react, and how they deserve peace and normalcy; while allowing to acknowledge their trauma. /gen

i too have thought how our favorite characters will be when they try to have a new normal, and you perfected it greatly. i laughed, i cried, and i felt every single thing from every single character. it brings joy to me when i read another author who cares for the characters as much as i do. /srs

i also really enjoyed the emails! they were super cute! 🤍 /gen

this is long enough, but i wanted to say thank you for showing your talent of writing to the world, and bringing comfort with it as well. your work has made me fall in love with the characters even more! i hope you have an amazing day or night! /gen 🤍

hi beloved! I’m happy you found me and that you’re enjoying it here!! thank you so much for your kind words (and ofc for the tone indicators 🥺) I am truly proud of how that fic turned out, knowing that you went through so many emotions is incredible!!!! I’m also v pleased you guys liked the lil emails slndskh they were a lot of fun for me!

again, thank you so much for coming to share some love with me. rn I am mentally reaching through the screen to give you a hug!! wishing you a lovely week ❤️✨

#asks #guestbook #q’d