#but i’m still feeling a bit meh about fandom life here on tumblr
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If and when the magical tether binding Ty to ghost Livvy, breaks, Thule Livvy might step in to fill the void. This is going to be heartbreaking and reassuring at the same time.
#cassandra clare#the shadowhunter chronicles#the wicked powers#ty blackthorn#livvy blackthorn#ghost livvy#thule livvy#i’m back for a bit i suppose#but i’m still feeling a bit meh about fandom life here on tumblr
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Customer Service Solidarity: Why I Don’t Complain About Julian Fellowes
This post is happening because it's 9 pm on what is effectively my Tuesday. That means I've had two days of packing groceries for people and three days left. The good news is that it's been a good week as far as serving entitled brats who are old enough to be my parents. But our store is super busy, with generally 400 to 1000 people walking through the door per hour, having a 1% annoying customers rate is ............ still a lot of people.
Not as much as 1% of roughly 1 million customers, though, which is what Julian Fellowes has to put up with. Which leads to days that go like this -
- Work -
Me: *finishes packing groceries the way 90% of customers like it packed* There you go! Have a nice day!
Customer: *hasn't said boo to me the whole transaction. Now pushes their cart just far enough out of the way for me to hear when they say - in a slightly raised voice* Well, I guess I'm just going to have to repack everything myself because she doesn't know how to pack groceries!
Me: *bites my tongue hard enough to pierce it to keep from turning around and saying that at least I know how to ask for things I want, be it 'please pack this way' or even 'please let me pack my own groceries' rather than being an entitled, microagressive asshat*
- Home -
Me: FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Time to relax! I could sure go in for some fluff. What ya' got for me, Ao3?
Fanfic Writer: Okay, so, here's my story which is what really should have happened in the show that I had to write myself because Julian Fellowes doesn't know how to write a story!
Me: .............or maybe I'll do something fun, like going to clean the toilet.
I don't complain about Julian Fellowes.
I don't complain about what he did or did not do with the show.
I could. There are certainly bits that make me go 'meh' or 'wtf happened there?'
I just don't.
This has lead to, among other things, one time being accused of being 'besties' wtih JF or even being JF in disguise....because script writers have nothing to do but comment on other people's fanfiction. This was no one I talk to on tumblr, but still. It happened.
And why did it happen? Why do I so steadfastly refuse to complain about the upper class, cys, heterosexual white guy who made so many mistakes and poor decision when writing the show I love? The guy who so many people assure me is a homophobic hater of the working class? The guy who ruthlessly robbed my favorite character of the development/relationship/witty dialogue/etc. he deserved?
Because after a day of dealing with shitty, entitled customers, the last thing I want to do is be someone else's shitty, entitled customer!
And no, I don't care that Julian Fellowes lives in England and isn't there to hear me whisper to the person shopping with me "Do you see that? She put the frozen broccoli on top of the ground beef! What is she thinking?"
He will never know if I slap in some two second, no brain cell answer like "She must have never packed groceries a day in her life!" that lets me feel superior rather than applying logic and coming to the conclusion of "Actually, she's worked here long enough to know that most people like their cold stuff packed together and would rather than the frozen broccoli (packaged in two individual bags inside another bag) on top of the ground beef (wrapped in plastic wrap and then placed in a plastic bag) than risk having e coli burgers for dinner!"
I do not care that he won't know I'm defending him because ultimately, it's not even about him. It's about me and the kind of person I want to be, and
I.
Do.
Not.
Want.
To.
Be.
That.
Customer.
So yeah, I look at my "Um, that made no sense?" moments and think of all the practical, non-judgy reasons it might have happened, ranging from 'well, it made sense at first, but the editors cut it' to 'he was on a deadline, fighting writer's block, and then WOOPS! He had bronchitis and couldn't make it pretty by time to film" rather than assigning him motives like "He was trying to make this character look incompetent because he doesn't love them."
If Rob decides he doesn't want to do any more Downton again ever and please kill off Thomas to make sure of it, I will not spend *calculates* Let's see...2012/2013 to 2020...say seven years looking at Lord Fellowes and screaming "HOW COULD YOU STOP CARRYING MY FAVORITE PRODUCT? Don't you know how wonderful it was? Everyone I know agrees hat it was the best thing ever! Everyone! You're losing a lot of money, not carrying it anymore! I should go shop somewhere else in protest!"
I won't, because every job I've ever had is customer service, every job I ever will have is customer service, because every job out there is customer service of some sort of another, and I respect my fellow customer service people, be they nobodies flipping burgers in McDonald’s, or big names writing stories to make my life a little more bearable.
I want to be the person who looks at the imperfections and still feels it more important to say “Thank you for continuing to work during this pandemic” or “Wow, that’s a nice packing job!” and then pushes the cart five feet before moving the eggs to where I like them because HEY! I didn’t say where I liked my eggs!
And maybe I’m over identifying with the man. Maybe the fact that this fandom has really driven home the fact that my former dream job of being a professional writer is just another form of retail is making me more tolerant than I should be. I don’t care, because at least I’m at least trying to think of someone else rather than insisting the world revolves around me and my needs.
So thank you, Julian Fellowes, for getting to the point where either the hamburger buns have to go on top of the eggs or the eggs have to go on top of the hamburger buns and figuring out that the eggs weigh more. I appreciate it, even if the bananas are probably a bit bruised because you almost dropped them.
#downton abbey#customer service#customer service solidarity#why i don't complain#be the change you want to see in the world#creator appreciation#julian fellowes#yes it's bedtime#yes i'm cranky#but this has been building for awhile#years actually#and it's just time
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My thoughts on the acotar fandom
First of all i would like to say that this are my opinions, my thoughts, my experiences and my views of the fandom, you’re free to disagree.
Secondly ,English isn’t my first language so i apologize for any mistakes.
My experience with acotar bagan at the end of 2020. With the pandemic and lots of other things going on in my life, my anxiety (something i wasn’t aware i had, but that I’m now thankfully treating) was at an all time high. So as an attempt to control that horrible feeling i turned to my place of comfort: books.
I really just wanted to distract myself and since i had already read TOG and enjoyed it, i decided to go for another of SJM books, so i picked ACOTAR.
If I’m being honest before quarantine i wouldn’t have read acotar, I’m not a big romance reader, but at the time, the books provided great escapism which was just what i needed.
I didn’t really like the first book, Feyre was boring, Tamlin was bland, Rhysand was really problematic and the plot was just MEH, but i didn’t care, i craved something to distract me from what i was going trough, and Acotar provided that. Besides there was one character that really stood out for me, Nesta, and i wanted to know more about her, so i read on.
I continued with the books and finished the entire series in a week, and after it my opinions hadnt really changed much. Feyre was still boring to me, Rhys was very idolized and i hated it, the inner circle was fine, the other characters weren’t really there so i didn’t really care, and the plot was still dull. The series had its moments, of course, but it still wasn’t something i would have treasure as i do other books, it was just fun times and a need to really not think about other stuff. However ,i dont why, Nesta really resonated with me. Even though the other characters hated her, and she was a bitch, she was very entertaining to read and she had very good chemistry with Cassian which i really enjoyed, so when i found out the next book was going to be about them, paired with the fact that i really didn’t want to acknowledge my reality, i became obsessed.
I pre ordered ACOSF, i was constantly checking new updates on the book, i even bought tickets for one of the online tours, and for the first time in my life I joined tumblr.
I had never being involved in a Fandom before, so i wasn’t really sure how it worked. Before, the most contact i had with it was seeing beautiful fan art on Pinterest. So when i first came here i was a bit lost. I started following the tags and discovered lots of brilliant content. Amazing fan art, very fun, interesting theories, entire pages dedicated to the characters and Fan fiction, (which i was never fan of before, i tried once once on whattpad and it wasn’t my thing). You people are very talented. All of this helped me cope with my ACOSF obsession and by association my anxiety. I’m really greatful for it, luckily I’m at a much better place now. Big part of my process has been to be a bit more open about my interests even my guilty pleasure ones, as i consider the Acotar series to be. Just some fairy smut, with weird, sometimes questionable, sexy characters. That’s what the acotar series means to me, something of comfort which now holds a very special place in my heart, and a big reason for it have been the fanfic writers, the artists, the theorists and many other people who are constantly just adding more fun and enjoyment to the fandom by sharing their love for the books. Which is amazing!!
Now i have to address the toxicity that became prominent after ACOSF came out: The ship wars
Before i continue, i would like to clarify that you can ship whatever you want. If you like gwynriel, elriel or elucien is totally fine. Just don’t degrade other people for liking something different, or something that “interferes” with your ship. It’s ridiculous how some people are attacking each other, threatening each other, reducing the characters, and overall making up a narrative just for the sake of their ship. And it sucks because it takes away from the good parts of this fandom, the parts of the fandom that have made me want to be involve in this platform.
In conclusion, lets celebrate the books, that doesn’t mean we can’t criticize them, I know there are many critiques to be made about them, but just enjoy doing it !!! And just remember this is just a book we can go around threatening others for people that don’t exist, or at all for that matter.
That’s all!
#acotar#acomaf#acowar#acofas#acosf#nesta#nesta archeron#cassian#azriel#gwyn acotar#emerie#elain archeron
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Fandom and Fanfiction Galore
Ship It by Britta Lundin
Aaaaaalrighty...so this was written almost 3 years ago hot out of ClexaCon 2018 and it is...an interesting one. I had and still very much have feelings about this book. Would I write my thoughts the exact same way today as I did back then...probably not! So enjoy this bit of a pre-pandemic pre-a-whole-bunch-of-other-personal-stuff-y’all-don’t-need-to-know-about me talking about a book I still don’t really know how I feel about! Enjoy!
This was another book I found because of the Queering YA panel at ClexaCon 2018. Being able to talk to Britta at the booth after the panel was awesome, because you could tell talking with her that she was a true fan. She knew what being surrounded by fandom was like and it made me pretty excited to read the book.
Unicorn Rating:
Blurb: Living in the environment of fandom can be an insane experience in both good and bad ways. This book delivered a unique experience and look into fandom culture that was surreal to read about outside of fanfiction and tumblr.
Disclaimer: I will try my best to not spoil anything from the book, but my book loving rambles may give more away than a traditional review. Here we go! Ramble time!
Review:
I would say overall this book felt a little weird for me. I didn’t absolutely love it but I also didn’t particularly dislike it. It fell in a very ‘meh’ place for me, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have good things to say about it, they are just slightly confusing things.
The plot was actually one of the things I liked the most about it. Even though it was a crazy unrealistic plot, it helped capture the absolute lunacy of being a member of fandom culture perfectly. Sometimes being a fan is a simple life of surfing Tumblr and liking posts but sometimes the craziest things happen and change your life forever. In this case the reader is swept up in this craziness with Claire and the unrealistic aspect of it all made it feel more realistic as counterintuitive as that sounds. That is what the fandom experience can feel like at times, everything makes so little sense it actually circles back around to making sense, but enough about that...time for some character rambles.
Now we have two perspectives explored in this book. That of Claire, the fangirl, and Forest, the actor who has never had to deal with fangirls before. Let’s start with Claire. I am of two minds on her. Part of me really doesn’t like her, mostly because she is a person that in real life I probably wouldn’t spend time around and, as I’ve stated in a previous review, I have a hard time separating myself from characters and remembering that they are only teenagers. Multiple times I actually physically facepalmed, while reading a hardback book! That isn’t easy to do, but I did it, because she was doing things that just seemed so illogical from my perspective. But I am an adult, so of course I have a completely different perspective than a teen who is away from home and feeling a little out of control for a plethora of reasons. Now the other part of me really liked her, strangely enough for those exact same reasons, she was so real that I went full ‘Mom’ mode and wanted to sit her down and have a talk about what she was going through before she did something she was going to regret. Even if I found the character to be unlikeable the fact I was still on her side and wanted to help her really shows the depth that was written into her.
Now moving on to Forest. Oh, Forest. He was a character that I was very intrigued by at first because his was a perspective I, as a fangirl myself, had never seen in a book before, but damn if he didn’t make it so hard to like him. Some of the things he said and did made me want to throttle him. I could excuse some of the stuff Clarie did because of her age and the craziness of everything going on around her, but Forest is an adult and should know better. He would improve and his actions would start to win me over, but then he would overreact to something and make me want to put on my throttlin’ gloves again. I felt like that Tyra Banks ‘I was rooting for you!’ reaction gif while I was reading this multiple times. Again, though, there were parts that I was glad Forest called Claire out on her actions when it was called for, but overall they both needed an intervention to have them sit down and just chill for five seconds.
I actually genuinely liked a majority of the side characters in this as well. I actually have less of the weird mental confusion when it comes to the side characters. Rico was cute and great around the fans. Jamie was a total asshat but he was written to be that way to foil Claire in her mission to make ‘Smokeheart’ cannon. One of my favorite scenes in the whole book was actually between Claire and the social media consultant, whose name I totally remember and am just choosing not to put in because I think that’ll be all avant garde...okay fine I forgot her name and I am not digging the book out to find it. Anyway...I can’t really go into detail about the scene because, you know, spoilers but it was so well done in the context of the story.
Now for the last big character I want to speak on, the love interest, Tess. Now I really liked Tess and even understood how she wanted to keep her nerdy hobbies a secret from her small town friends. I was lucky that I grew up in a family and a circle of friends that let me embrace my passions no matter how off-the-wall they may seem to others. Tess obviously didn’t have that kind of support but she was still so passionate just privately. I will say though, ironically given the title of the book, I don’t ship it. Tess and Claire definitely share an instant attraction and the chemistry is there but they have so much growing to do before they are anywhere close to having an actual healthy functional relationship. Maybe if we saw more of them it would feel more compelling but it just wasn’t for me.
So my final thoughts on this book are just...a little discombobulated. Part of me was really happy to read a book that portrayed a part of my life that is so hard to put into words at times. I have never been a rabid fangirl, but after Lexa’s death I had to try and explain my utter devastation to people who just didn’t understand why a fictional character mattered to me so much. This book captures at least a layer of the fandom experience in a way that I’ve never seen before. The problem I have in the end though is how problematic everything that happens was, and then the ending just felt so sudden. We didn’t see any of the characters address their issues on the page. I hope this review made some coherent sense, because this book still doesn’t really make sense even in my brain, but I need to wrap this up now.
Queer Wrap-up: Okay, so, for our rep we have a questioning main character who definitely has some queer tendencies, but overall her realizing her feelings took such a back seat to her mission to make a fictional ship cannon on a show that was already filmed it took away from the rep as a whole. It just felt like the focus was so split that the actual rep gets lost in the pages. There is no argument by the end of the book that Claire is queer, which earns the three unicorns on that alone, but some of the tropes that played parts in the book were just so cringey that I couldn’t rationalize giving it more than that. Even with a couple side characters who were revealed to also be queer they weren’t enough to cover for the less stellar parts of this book.
Links:
Britta Lundin’s Website
TheStorygraph
Amazon
Okay, so if you couldn’t tell by that train wreck of a review this book just confused me. It kept me just interested enough to pick it back up after I’d put it down, but also wasn’t that bad. It lives in a weird oxymoronic vortex in my brain that honestly gives me a headache if I focus on it too much. There were aspects of this book that I did genuinely like but it all gets swirled together with the parts that made me put it down and need to take a break. If any of you want to discuss those more spoiler-filled aspects please send an ask and I’ll welcome you into the cyclical nature of whatever this book is doing in my brain. And as always if you want to read this but don’t want to spend the money without knowing for sure you are going to like it, go to your local library. You’d be surprised what they have on their shelves just waiting to be discovered. Trust me, I’m a lesbrarian.
#ship it#britta lundin#queer girl#ya fiction#resident lesbrarian#this whole thing is a bit of a time capsule#i wrote this soooo long ago#man weird#still agree with it though
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hi sorry if this has already been asked somewhere but im was wondering if you had any tips on how to get the best experience without having to pay ?
Hi there! Don’t worry, this question hasn’t been asked before, and I am honestly super flattered that you value my opinion enough to ask it ☺️ I’m not sure how helpful my tips will be because I don’t exactly consider myself an expert in this, but here are some things that came to mind! I’ve gone into quite a bit of detail, but if you want a quicker overview, just stick to the bold headings. Also, if any of the people reading this have good tips of their own, please lmk! I’m always learning new things about how to do this too 💕
1. This one’s a bit obvious, but still – take the opportunities that the game gives you to earn free diamonds. That means watching the bonus ads every day (5 diamonds/day), playing through chapters as often as you can (including replaying old books if there are no new releases – 2 diamonds/chapter), and watching ads at the end of book chapters for an extra diamond. Obviously, all this is a bit of a balancing act – you want to be playing Choices often enough to build up your diamonds, but not so often that it takes over your life and makes you feel frustrated, because what’s the point of it if it’s not fun anymore, y’know? So I’ve always been careful not to overdo it. Even if all you do is watch the bonus ads every day, that’s 35 diamonds/week – basically, one big diamond scene a week – which is honestly not too shabby.
2. At any one time, only play 1-2 books that you’re really invested in, and try to supplement that with another 2-3 books that you’re not really invested in or are replaying just for diamonds. As tempting as it can be to rush through every good-looking book in the app all at once, that just leads to a situation where a) you’re trying to divide your free keys between waaay too many releases, and b) there are so many demands on you for diamonds, you never get to consistently spend them on anything. So I personally think it’s best to only read a couple of good books at once, and instead of marathoning them, break them up with chapters from less-good books – this builds up your diamond stash for spending on the good books. Which leads into my next point:
3. Don’t zip through books too fast – even if most of the chapters are already released, spreading them out helps you earn more diamonds for them in the meantime. I’m really lucky to have been playing Choices for so long that almost all the books were presented to me in weekly release format – if I downloaded the app for the first time today, and saw all the fully-released books on there, I feel like I would be way too overwhelmed to play. So I reckon that, even if a book isn’t technically a weekly release for you, make it a weekly release! You might decide to play all the books you’re really invested in on a particular day when you have more free time – say, a Sunday. Then, you have Monday-Saturday every week to earn diamonds for those books, and something to look forward to at the end of it all. As for what you do with those diamonds:
4. Be smart about what you spend diamonds on. There are a couple of different components to this tip – it involves things like a) figuring out which types of purchases are worth diamonds in general, b) figuring out which types of purchases you want to prioritise in certain books, and c) planning ahead before you start playing a book chapter about where you might want to spend diamonds. To address each of those things one-by-one:
a) Figure out which types of purchases are worth diamonds in general. Off the top of my head, there are 6 main types of diamond purchases in Choices: ‘friendly’ scenes with LIs (12-25 diamonds), ‘steamy’ scenes with LIs (25-30 diamonds), scenes with your whole friendship group, collectible items (e.g. the tapestry pieces in Bloodbound, the clues in Veil of Secrets, etc.), outfits, and pets. Your mileage may vary a lot on which of these are most important to you, so take my opinions with a grain of salt. But my general advice would be to i) prioritise group scenes above LI scenes, ii) prioritise ‘friendly’ LI scenes above ‘steamy’ LI scenes, iii) avoid collectibles, and iv) go for outfits and pets only if you really like the look of them. This advice is based on the fact that, firstly, I think you get a better experience of immersion in a book if you know a bit about all the characters around MC, rather than just about one LI; secondly, ‘friendly’ LI scenes tend to tell you more about the LI than ‘steamy’ scenes, which are often 80-90% copied-and-pasted erotica despite being more expensive; thirdly, collectibles are a massive drain on diamond stores, and almost always unlock quite short, generic scenes that it’s easy to find on Tumblr or YouTube; and fourthly, both outfits and pets don’t do much except appear in the story at key moments, which can be a really nice touch but is still only needed in moderation. Of course, there are exceptions to these rules, and you might find that those exceptions are sometimes book-specific. Which leads me to Part B of this point:
b) Figure out which types of purchases you want to prioritise in certain books. It’s all well and good for me to say that group scenes are usually better than LI scenes, but when I’m playing a book with an amazing LI but a pretty meh supporting cast (*cough cough* Myra Dixon carries Baby Bump on her shoulders *cough cough*), I obviously may need to adjust my spending habits slightly. Moreover, by focusing all your diamond spending on just one main thing per book – like Myra’s romance in Baby Bump, or the party’s side-quests in Blades of Light and Shadow, or the posse in Queen B – I think you end up with a much better playing experience, because you feel like you’re seeing at least one facet of the story in-depth instead of getting a patchy surface view of lots of different facets. For the most part, the purchases you prioritise in a book can mostly depend on personal taste, but there are a few books where some background knowledge might be helpful in the decision. Four things that I think are worth flagging are that i) the ‘competition books’ (America’s Most Eligible, Queen B, Hot Couture) do require regular outfit purchases to win, although winning isn’t that much better an experience than being runner-up; ii) Veil of Secrets and Nightbound are two books where it’s worth saving 30-35 diamonds for the final chapter, because your MC is forced to leave the small-town setting if you don’t; iii) Across the Void is a book that frequently invites you to spend diamonds to save characters’ lives, but their death arcs are honestly much better-written and more sensible than their survival arcs; and iv) the It Lives series is the only one where characters can die due to an accumulation of choices you make throughout the story, so maybe it’s worth keeping some diamonds in reserve for that one. Which just leaves us with one more sub-point:
c) Plan ahead before you start playing a book chapter about where you might want to spend diamonds. I want to take this opportunity to thank whichever people in the fandom maintain the Choices wiki, because oh my gosh, they are lifesavers. For the last year or so, my response whenever a new Choices chapter is released has been to wait a few hours, Google ‘[book name] choices’, open the wiki result, and skim through to check how many diamond choices are available & how much they cost. Because all the wiki includes are the possible responses to every choice presented – it doesn’t even state the wording of the choice itself – this is a relatively spoiler-free technique that helps a lot with big picture planning. For example, you might decide not to buy an early group scene because there’s a nicer-sounding LI scene later on, and come to think of it, you should replay a few more chapters of another book first to save up the diamonds for that scene. If you don’t mind encountering just a few more spoilers before you play the chapter, you can also scout out its diamond scenes in more detail by searching the relevant book or character tags on Tumblr, or by looking for a chapter stream on YouTube. You may decide that you don’t need to buy a diamond scene if you’ve already seen it played through by someone else, or alternatively, you may decide whether or not to buy a diamond scene based on how good it looks in an existing playthrough – in either case, these techniques can help you thoughtfully ration out the diamonds you have, instead of being caught off-guard whenever a diamond choice comes up.
5. On the subject of the Choices wiki, it’s also a great way to maximise your success in books without using diamonds. Whenever there’s a ‘right’ option to a choice that gives you a better outcome later in the chapter, that’s indicated in the wiki. So with a bit of pre-reading of the wiki before you play the chapter, and/or with the wiki open on a separate screen as you play, you can get the best outcome without having to buy that outfit or bonus scene that promised you ‘an advantage.’ Obviously, your mileage may vary on whether this method is actually worth it, or whether it takes all the fun out of Choices by ‘cheating’ at the gaming aspect. I personally view Choices as more of an interactive story app than a game I’m trying to beat, so I have no issue with this method, but opinions may differ and that’s okay.
6. If you’re really feeling like a lack of diamonds is limiting your playing experience, it may be best to start out with ‘cheaper’ books until you have more diamonds stored up. In this case, I’m using ‘cheaper’ to mean books where there are fewer diamond scenes, where diamond scenes are less expensive, and/or where diamond scenes don’t play as big a role in the plot. It can be hard to identify which books fit this bill, but as a general rule, it’s more likely to be the earlier-released ones or less-popular ones. Some which I’d recommend are the first few books of the Freshman series, the #LoveHacks series, the High School Story series, the Perfect Match series, Most Wanted, The Heist: Monaco, Wishful Thinking, Bachelorette Party, and The Royal Masquerade.
7. Finally, a really quick tip for making the most out of free keys – keys are used up as soon as you start a book chapter, and refresh ~every 3 hours. This means that, even if you don’t have time to play chapters every 3 hours, you should try to open the app roughly that often and just click to unlock a chapter. When you finally have time to play, you’ll have a whole lot of chapters ready to go plus another two refreshed keys, and you can power through them at whatever speed you need to fit in them into your break time or to earn diamonds for an upcoming release. Once again, this is a tip that may need to be practised in moderation, because you don’t want to be constantly interrupting your life to load up an app on your phone. But even if you just log in and unlock chapters every 6 hours, or every 12 hours, that’s still 2-4 extra chapters ready for you at the end of the day plus your two free keys.
I think that’s about all for my tips! Thanks for reading, and I hope it helped at least a bit ❤️
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Here are my thoughts on the whole supernatural thingy:
(Spoilers for spn and she-ra i guess)
I don't know if I'm happy for it even existing, if I'm mad at the writers for not doing it sooner, if I'm mad at myself for being slightly pleased that the bare minimum exists when we clearly deserve so much more.
But mostly I think I'm just annoyed and angry. My devotion to the fandom and the show died many years ago and now I just casually read something here and there about the show. Even though I watched 9 seasons non-stop and was a very dedicated Destiel shipper.(and yes Carry on my wayward song is still great and now I can associate it with the actual developed gay couple of Carry on - Rainbow Rowell) So, when I heard "Destiel is Canon" it felt like I never left seeing how excited I was. Then, I was surprised. I felt like it came out of fucking nowhere. And very late at that. I go watch the rest show. Surprise surprise it did come out of nowhere. I had a hard time processing it. And now Imma lay down my reasoning behind being mad even though no one actually gives a shit.
First, right out of the gate, what pisses me off is the lack of actual build up. Yes, the fans have been calling it for years. But the fans were also searching for breadcrumbs due to a lack of representation. Fans were projecting and trying to find subtext. I was one of them. Never there was explicit enough reasons to canonically think they were a thing or would ever become one. And now the writers went there and gave us a feeling of false vindication by saying "you were right all along, we were dropping hints" when it has certainly not been the case. I doubt (like rly rly doubt) that their intention when writing spn back then was to make destiel a thing. They hadn't even planned for half the shit that went down but y'all want me to believe destiel of all things was the exception? Meh. But even if I'm being really generous and giving them the benefit of the doubt, it still stands that they could have done it a long long time ago. Which takes me to the second reason why I'm mad.
The timing is ridiculously convenient for the writers. The show has been running for FIFTEEN years, it has FIFTEEN seasons and they choose the third to last episode to make it happen? And then HE DIES AND IS SENT TO MEGA HELL after confesssing his gay feelings??? With only two more episodes left, I'll let you wager on how much of actual destiel we'll get. That is, if Dean EVER reciprocates, because it was not explicit at all.(c'mon Jensen, you can do better than that) The dying thing is a massive problem, but not as much as when it happens. Because this is still supernatural and everyone has died and come back to life at least five hundred thousand times before. They could have kept the scene as it was, only a few seasons before. Then we'd actually have decent moments of consequence to the confession, conflict, build up to an actual romantic relationship if they did not mean for it to be one sided, dean confronting his feelings and all that jazz. But no, we get the bare minimum and after this the show ends if people are upset about it, they will no longer have to deal with that shit.
Even though they knew destiel was immensely popular in the fandom for AGES, it seems that now that some popular lgbtq+ couples/shows have arisen and have been received (mostly) positively, they wanted to jump in the band wagon, but not so much that it would anger their straight prejudiced viewers. Cw shows, huh? It's like we're doing it, but we're not committing to it. And if you don't like it, we have already milked everything from you anyways, cause y'know the show is ending in a couple of weeks. AND WHAT IS WORSE. If Destiel didn't happen, I don't think it would be a Sherlock case where something feels off and weird and the lack of it feels forced. Since Dean has been stablished since the beginning as liking women and all indication of otherwise can fall under plausible deniability and fans reading too much into it, I don't really think they would receive big amounts backlash for not doing it or be criticized for it. Fans really have resigned themselves years ago that Destiel wouldn't ever happen. And if they are doing it just to avoid backlash is bad, but if not, then why? To make the show relevant again by trending Destiel? To play on the popularity of the ship? Idk and Idc. They can have the bestest of intentions, but it was done poorly. And now, since the lack of build up is a problem, it - and it reallly pains me to say this - feels forced/aka censored. (I hate myself right now for saying this aaaaaaaaaaaaaa).
It is not good representation. (And seeing as my tumblr is basically she-ra focused, I'm anticipating people saying that that also happens in she-ra. But when the show has never shied away from representation, good casual represation, like having two dads, two moms, a married lesbian couple, a non-binary character amongst other things, I can't find it in me to say it does not have good representation. And the characters only getting together at the end fits their development and personality. And we had a whole season to develop them coming to terms with loving the person who's supposed to be your enemy, but was once your best friend and now fights alongside you and you now realized you love. Supernatural feels like fucking pandering.)
However, it is kinda maybe sorta representation still. And - that depends on how they play it out on the next two episodes - I don't feel it is particularly damaging(except the mega hell thibgy, but again, it is spn); It was not advertised as an lgbtq+ show nor used the couple to promote their season, so yeah kay fine, I'm still gonna laugh at ya.
So, having already had a weak spot for Destiel in the first place, I can't stop feeling a bit happy that at least Cas fessed up and we might get something. It can't be used as a example of great representation, but I'm not mad the ship exists. I'm just really really mad at how it was done.(not only because y'know, I'm queer, but also because the fans and the couple deserve better.)
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fic ask post: 2, 5, 24, 35!
Damn, I love it when fellow writers stop by. (Seriously folks, if the letters “TLOU” mean anything to you, go and check out @ehefic 's stuff.)
All right then. I’ve had half a bottle of wine and I’m feeling... truthy. Here goes.
2. How do you spend your time when it comes to fanfiction? Are you primarily a fic reader, writer, or a perfect 50/50 split of both?
This is where I get to admit that I’m terrible at fandom. These days, my ratio is 1%/99%. Always be writing.
I kind of hate this because I feel like an asshole. I have a “TO READ” list a fucking mile long. I want to support my writer friends. But I also have limited time and a burning desire to get my own words out on the page.
(It doesn’t help that I’m a bit of an idea/verbiage sponge, who lives in terror of inadvertently ripping off someone else’s plot/clever turn of phrase, etc. I know there’s nothing original under the sun, but I still worry. So I really don’t like reading while I’ve got WIPs cooking.)
5. What are your fanfic pet peeves? Do they have a huge effect on whether or not you decide to read something?
HAHA yes. Burly detective syndrome (when writers refer to characters by descriptors such as “the blonde”, “the brunette“, “the doctor”) makes me nope right out of a story. And it’s everywhere in fanfic. (It’s extremely easy to fix, too: use your characters’ names or their pronouns. Stop worrying about overuse or repetition. You’re fine. It’s fine. Your readers won’t notice.)
24. What’s a trope that you’d like to never hear about as long as you live, let alone write?
A/B/O and g!p, in equal measures. (No shade if that’s your jam, it just ain’t mine.)
35. How much has writing fic changed your life?
Eight years ago, I would have said writing fic changed my life in a bad way. I let the balance of it get all wrong. (I’m a Libra, such things matter.)
These days, I guess I’m feeling a bit meh about it.
I’m glad fic got me into writing fiction. I’m glad fic brought me some friendships, a few of which I’ve somehow managed to keep going like embers. I’m glad fic made me create this tumblr, because interacting with folks here has often been the highlight of my day.
But, but, but... sometimes I wonder what the fuck I’m doing spending all this time writing fic for a few thousand hits and a handful of feedback. (I’ve turned off my stats on AO3 via skins to keep my sanity, or I would have quit writing AC:O shit long ago.)
Sometimes I wonder if I should stop faffing about and put my effort into writing an original piece of historical fiction instead.
I wonder and wonder and wonder, and then I finish my drink, and go to bed, and wake up the next day eager to work on fic. It’s the circle of life.
[fic writer ask game]
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get to know me more!
@funyasm tagged me and I’m bored after writing my chapter, so here it is!
✨ what do you prefer to be called name wise?
My name’s Sophie. My friends call me Spencou or Spence. We met on a Role-Playing game forum where I played a character named Spencer. We’re used to call each other by our characters’ names and nicknames, most of the time. My brother calls me Sis’.
✨ when is your birthday?
15th november 1993.
✨ where do you live?
Paris, France.
✨ three things you are doing right now?
I’m watching an episode of AT4W on youtube, scrolling on Tumblr and I’m drinking a coffee.
✨ four fandoms that have piqued your interest right now?
Definitely It and especially Eddie Kaspbrak and the ship Reddie. I’m kinda obsessed right now, writing fanfic, reading fanfic, daydreaming about it and all.
I just played the Last of Us 2 and I’m currently watching a let’s play from my favorite youtubers, Mari and Stacy from Geek Remix. I’ll probably read a few fics as well.
The tv show Barry (HBO) is a definite special interest for me. I’m probably going to watch it all once again real soon and I’m planning on writing a fanfic or two in the future. I’m dying for the third season to come.
Finally, I’m probably going to be super into The Umbrella Academy once again, when the second season will be released. I’m just really into Vanya, Klaus and Allison and I can’t wait to see more of them.
✨ how is the pandemic treating you?
None of the people I know have been contaminated, so I’m lucky about that. I’m not quarantined anymore, back to work, and the transition is not easy.
I feel like I’m more openly autistic than I used to be and that I can’t stand the rest of the world for a long period of time. I’ve experienced multiple meltdowns and shutdowns and I have real difficulties to socialize with most people or to focus on my work.
I feel incredibly naked and vulnerable whenever I’m leaving my flat without my mask on, so I think that’s definitely something I’m gonna have to work on in the future.
Leaving Paris and meeting my folks for my mother’s wedding, I found myself surrounded by people who mostly didn’t care about the virus, kissing each other on the cheek in true french fashion to say hello, hugging, not wearing a mask, not respecting any kind of social distance.
I was quickly overwhelmed by all of that, plus the noise, and I had to isolate myself in my parents’ car, sobbing hysterically and willing to suffer in a overheated car if it meant having a bit of peace.
There are definitely going to be long-term consequences. I can only hope that my physical health will remain okay, though.
✨ song you can’t stop listening right now?
Keep On by Sasha Sloan. I just really love the lyrics and the message.
✨ recommend a movie.
Whenever I have to think of a movie to recommend, Frank by Lenny Abrahamson is the first one that comes to my mind. This movie is an obsession for me since the first time I watched it and I often find myself watching it again and again. Despite its heavy subjects, it’s definitely a comfort movie for me.
Too often, movies featuring mentally ill characters will aim for the characters to “get better”, which doesn’t mean for them to find healthy ways to cope with their issues, but usually for them to look more “neurotypical-like”, if you know what I mean. Frank doesn’t go that way at all. On the contrary, it pushes the viewer to empathize with the main characters and to understand their point of view, their way of being.
It’s so incredibly comforting to watch a movie featuring mental illness realistic and not romanticized and to have the movie say “you’re different and you have issues, but you’ll find your tribe someday and be able to find your own happiness, even if it’s unconventional by society’s standards”.
I don’t know, I just have so much feelings about this movie. Plus the music slaps, the humor is hilarious (kudos to the random French guy who can perfectly understand English but refuses to utter a single word if it’s not in French) and the actors are truly on point (I can only salute Domnhall Gleeson, among everyone else who is also worthy of praise, because he definitely managed to make me hate his character in a way I almost never hated a character before).
Watch it!
✨ how old are you?
I’m 26 years old.
✨ school, university, occupation, other?
I used to be a librarian, but I couldn’t find a stable job in this field, so I passed an entrance examination and I’m now working in the tax administration. Yeah, not really glamorous, but it pays the bills and I’m accommodated for my disability, so it helps.
✨ do you prefer hot or cold?
Definitely cold. When I was a kid, I used to swim in mountain lakes, at temperatures close to 13° celsius, and I still take my showers mostly cold. I can’t stand heat, I get headaches very easily when it’s sunny and I’m getting confused easily whenever it’s too hot. I recently had a nosebleed at work so intense that I found myself spitting blood (it went better once I got a fan, making the temperature bearable).
✨ name one fact others may not know about you.
I used to be allergic to my own sweat when I was around 18, until my early twenties. Whenever I was doing a mild physical effort or getting stressed out, I would get hives and itchy skin rash all over my whole freaking body, which was so exhausting that I would fall asleep immediately as soon as the rash was gone.
It disappeared as suddenly as it appeared, without me ever doing something about it. I still don’t know why I experienced that and if I’m going to experience that ever again. I hope not.
✨ are you shy?
My autism makes social interactions complicated, but I’d say I’m mostly impaired by my social anxiety and the various traumas I’m dealing with daily.
Traumas I got after having been bullied pretty badly by kids and teachers during my school years, my stepfather being borderline abusive and different traumatic experiences, including my childhood crush dying from a ski accident when I was 15 or so (and me never being able to tell him that I loved him) and people betraying me so many times that I can’t even recall every little thing.
As a result, I find myself doubting constantly that I’m worthy of love, affection and respect and I often wonder when I’ll do or say the “wrong” thing that will cause me to lose everyone I care about. I also have a hard time knowing who I am and, as a result, allowing everyone to know who I am as well.
I often don’t know what to say and will find myself keeping my mouth shut, even on topics I’m knowledgeable about, because I’m scared of people shutting me down, among other things. My friends make it easier for me to talk about things I like and all, but I’m still heavily doubting myself.
I try to challenge myself regularly. I’ll force myself to take part in events that are taxing or that are forcing me to perform in front of people. That’s how I found myself taking part in the casting part of the french equivalent of “American Idol” (I merely met the pre-judges, but I did manage to sing my whole song in front of them). I needed to prove to myself that I could do it.
✨ do you have any preferred pronouns?
I’m using she/her, but I don’t mind people using they/them to talk about me if they don’t want to be gender-specific.
✨ any pet peeves?
I hate how people can freely and openly be homophobic, racist, ableist, transphobic, sexist and so on, but as soon as I open my mouth to let them know that what they said/did wasn’t appropriate, I’m labelled as one of those “hysterical feminists” or a “party pooper”. s/ Sorry if your antisemitic joke isn’t making me laugh, my “dear” colleague... /s
I hate whenever people infantilize me, especially my mom. She’s still keeping an eye on my bank account, despite me telling her that I didn’t want her to do so again and again. I don’t dare to block her out, because I’m scared of her emotional reaction.
I hate the ugliest parts of fandom, notably the obsession with “who’s topping / who’s bottoming” whenever there’s a gay pairing or the racism / ableism / transphobia / homophobia I’ve witnessed again and again.
I don’t dare to engage in the Last of Us 2 fandom because of that and the way some people describe the character of Abby (a very muscular woman), focusing on her physical appearance and calling her awful names (being downright transphobic when they thought that she was the transgender character that Naughty Dog announced there would be in their game).
✨ what’s your favorite “dere” type?
I had to google it, because aside from Yandere and Tsundere, I didn’t know a thing about it. I guess you could say I’m a Dandere (someone who is quiet and asocial. They are afraid to talk, fearing that what they say will get them in trouble.).
My favorite type is Kuudere though, when it comes to anime in particular (someone who is calm and collected on the outside, and never panics. They show little emotion, and in extreme cases are completely emotionless, but may be hiding their true emotions. They tend to be leaders who are always in charge of a situation.).
My favorite anime character, Kiyotaka Ayanokōji from the anime Classroom of the elite, is the most extreme case I can think about. He’s completely expressionless for most of the anime, talks with a very dull voice and it’s impossible to know what he’s thinking about at all times or what’s his overall plan. His hidden depth makes him all the more fascinating. He managed to keep me interested in a mostly meh anime.
✨ rate your life 1-10. 1 being really crappy and 10 being the best you could ever be.
It’s a bit hard, but somewhere around 5 or 6? I went through tons of crap in my life but I’m still here and able to live on my own, even if my quality of life isn’t all that good. I live with nearly daily suicidal thoughts since I was a teenager and have to compose with my meltdowns and anxiety attacks as well. I feel “other” most of the time and I can’t relate to most people I’m meeting and interacting with, which can sometimes feel very lonely.
On the other hand, I have wonderful friends who are willing to put up with my trauma crap and are overall amazing to talk to and be around. I have a cat I love dearly. They’re the reason why I’m still alive to this day, giving me a reason to say fuck off to my suicidal thoughts.
✨ what’s your main blog?
My main blog is Ladyautie and is about autism. I have another blog, reddie-4-more, focusing on the It movies and Eddie Kaspbrak and Richie Tozier.
✨ is there anything you think people need to know about you before becoming friends with you?
So, uh, don’t be weirded out by the kind of things I can tell you about my past. Even if it seems a lot, all of it is definitely true.
For example, I was almost kidnapped when I was around 8 or 9 by a random guy, while I was camping with my father.
My father and my paternal grandmother actually kidnapped me and my brother when I was around two and I stayed with him until the social workers determined that my mother had to raise us again because our well-being and overall life were threatened.
Lots of events of my life seem far-fetched or out of a movie / a book or something and I had people telling me that I must be lying or that I’m over-exaggerating, something that always hurts deeply.
I’m terribly awkward and more or less openly autistic, so you’re definitely going to notice something different about me. I can’t change for you and I’m not willing to hide my traits only to make you feel more comfortable about frequenting me, so if you can’t handle my socially anxious and disabled ass, then just leave.
I need people to actually tell me what they think or feel. I’m very “first degree” and I’m pretty bad at guessing what people are thinking about. Don’t be afraid to be frank.
Finally, never, and I mean never, infantilize me. I’m a 26 years old woman. I’m not a kid.I’m fine with my friends offering to help or making sure that I’m okay or so, but never assume that I don’t understand something and don’t force your help on me if I say that I’m okay.
That’s it, those who want to take part in this exercise, don’t hesitate!
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THE POST FINALE HENRY DANGER OPINIONS TAG:
Hey party people! Sorry I’ve been a bit out of the loop. Due to what’s going on in the world, adulting sorta got in the way and I have to DVR the final episode. No one tagged me, but I just wanted to add my two cents since this is officially the end and this is a really cute tag.
1. Who was your overall favorite member of Team Danger and why?
Charlotte hands down. She was brilliant, sassy and just a great friend to Henry no matter what. She’s one of the main reasons why I decided to tune into the show. I saw a lot of myself in her. I was once that little smart black girl that no one listened too. But it’s okay though, but that GLOW UP is real! I know from experience lol.
2. Who was your favorite non-team danger character and why?
Y'all know I love Fran the security guard. She should’ve gotten more air time. I just think she’s hilarious! I’d loved to see her try to wrestle a dolphin any day!
3. Who was your favorite villain and why?
Dr. Minyak & Nurse Cohort. I just gotta respect his hustle. Other than Rex and Rick Twitler, I feel like he’s the only everyday villain who always came close to defeating Captain Man & Kid Danger. He always had unique plans; from capturing and brain-altering Charlotte to taking Piper and the man fan hostage, he was always creative. Plus I love his little temper tantrums he sometimes throws.
4. What were your top five favorite Henry Danger episodes of all time and why?
1) All time Fav would go to The Great Cactus Con. From the dopeyness of how everyone can do a backflip instead of Ray. How Charlotte gets to show off her fashion design skills. How Piper unofficially works with Team Danger. Plus I love the cute romantic bit between Jasper and Patina. 2) Rumblr- That whole episode was just comedy gold for me. They should’ve brought Kyle back for the finale and had him show up at kid danger’s funeral 3) I dream of Danger - Its Char’s episode. I like how it alluded to Charlotte’s dream might come true but it doesn’t. However, I don’t like how they just moved on like the episode never happened even when Jasper thinks that char likes him. 4) Flabber Gassed- I love that char got to show off her fighting skills and how happy Jasper was to be a superhero. 5) Holey Moley- I straight up die for laughter every time I see that episode. I love how Henry kept saying, “oh look, a downside.” I feel like that episode would have been a sketch on All That or the Amanda Show. It just felt like good ole Nickelodeon comedy.
5. What were your top five least favorite Henry Danger episodes of all time and why?
1) Henry’s Birthday- Call me a diva, but if anyone treated me like that on my birthday, the party is OVER! 2) Captain Makini (I think that's what it’s called). Sorry, I'm not really a fan of Frankie Grande and though he was great for the musical, I really don’t think he needed a second episode. 3) Meet Cute Crush- I’m sorry, anything involving Piper is just physical and emotionally draining. All that girl does is yell. Thank u, next. 4) Sick & Wired- Because I got sick and tired of Ray’s shenanigans. 5) JAM Session- Now Piper isn’t my favorite character, but how that girl was manipulated all over a bet was just stupid and disrespectful.
6. What was your favorite running gag and why?
1) Fran’s line, “There’s only one in the whole world, and we got it!” Swellview must be a fun, mysterious place that always gets amazing things lol. 2) When everyone says “Click” before hanging up their phone. I find it funny because I’m pretty sure the kids had never owned a flip phone in their lives.
7. What was your favorite one-off throw away gag and why?
When shwoz referenced his song from the musical when he said, “Science, science, science, I’ve said this already.” I think he said this in Theranos boot. And also the grammar fights and how grammar rules don’t apply to Charlotte lol.
8. What episode, which character and which duo made you laugh the most?
I think Holey Moley & Rumblr both made me laugh the most. Those were great episodes. Jasper would have to be the funniest. That boy says the darndest things lol. Hensper. Because of how Henry loved Jasper’s mustache and wanted to get one too. And when Jasper and Henry were both “Dude. Bro. Dude. Bro. DUDE!” Over the Patina situation and Charlotte had to break them up.
9. What episode, which character and which duo made you the most emotional?
I think it was Second episode of the finale episodes, when Henry was freaking out at the end because he was alone and Rex had sent Ray A Million and one years into the past. The fact that he literally had to think like all of his friends because obviously that’s what he was used to, everyone being there to help figure out a plan and keep swellview safe. And the fact that for that moment he was kid danger and all alone was really scary for him.
10. How would you rank each season from 1 to 5, one being the best and five being the worst?
I would rank season 5 as 1. It overall had great episodes and delved into different genres and fun tv and movie tropes. It made it a joy to watch, though some episodes leading towards the end didn’t quite catch me. Season 4 would be like a high 4 but not exactly a 5. Season 3 was sorta Meh to me. So maybe a #. Season 2 would be a 4 and season 1 would be like a 4 because it was a the beginning to a great show and was still working out the kinks a bit.
11. Who was your favorite duo in the show (romantic or non-romantic)?
Chenry 100%. The friendship that those two have is great! Now I must say, I hate that Nick was still posting about them on their youtube page for clout knowing that it wasn’t gonna happen. I felt like they did that just so people would watch the final episodes. I was gonna watch regardless, but really Nick? Really?
12. What was your favorite Henry and Ray moment/episode?
The bro song! Plus I love that it kept getting referenced after the musical as well.
13. What was your favorite Chenry moment/episode?
When Char was controlling Henry in flabber gassed, she made him jump up and down while clapping! I love that even shwoz joined in too lol. And when Henry was concerned about her after she ate bad meat from the auto snacker.
14. What was your favorite Hensper moment/episode?
The mustache scene from Grand Theft Otto, “dude if I had one, I’d be Man Danger!”
15. What was your favorite Chensper moment/episode?
This also kinda includes Ray but when they were all stealing Joss Ross’s gift from her birthday party and they were just casually leaving. And how Jasper kept saying, “It’s not stealing if it’s from a criminal.” Plus I like the episode when Hen and Char have to pretend to date just to see if Jasper would keep their secret. The boy poured a whole bowl of pees down his shirt lmaoooo!!
16. If you could go back and change one element of the show, what would it be?
Have Ray grow up and stop fawning over Henry’s mom. It was just plain creepy! Oh and put some respect on my girl Charlotte’s name.
17. If you could say one thing to each main character in the pilot, what would it be?
Life isn’t always about one day getting a statue, (I’m looking at YOU Captain Man). Crime-fighting is fun and being a sidekick could literally every kid’s dream. But don’t forget to be a kid. Hangout with your friends, go to school, go on dates. Do the whole growing up thing. But at the end of the day, you have to do what’s best for you.
18. If you could say one thing to each main character in the finale, what would it be?
Thank you for sharing your lives with me and I am so so sooo proud of you all!
19. Were you satisfied with the finale? What part was your favorite and what part was your least favorite?
Honestly, I think it was okay for what it was. My fav part was when Jasper literally had to carry Char out of the mancave because she refused to leave Henry behind. I love that they decided to stick together. They did leave a lot of storylines open. I thought Joss Moss would be revealed as the real Mob boss. I thought Rick Twitler would regain his memory. Where the heck is Gooch? Caitlin? Chenry (for obvious reasons). I'm just spitballing here. Was it good? Yes. could it have been better? Hell yes.
20. What would your ideal Henry danger spin off look like?
Charlotte and Henry have powers and Jasper can fight! Dystopia. That was the spin-off that I wanted! I don’t really care about the new kids as much. They’re college-aged too? Just imagine the shenanigans they would get into! But we need to kick the Charlotte hating writer off the staff though. Can The CW pick this show up?
21. Where do you personally see the characters 10 years from now? What are they doing, who are they with, where are they in their lives - what do you think happened to them? Most importantly, are they happy?
I honestly haven’t thought about it. But I believe no matter what they do or where they may end up, they will be happy. They’ll probably always be a team.
22. What was your favorite part of the show and why did it initially draw you in?
It became an escape from my normal adult life. (I’m saying like I’m old. I’m only 23.) I randomly flipped it on one day, I can't remember what episode it was, but from then on, I was hooked. I used to watch it a while back, but I fell off, but at that moment on time, it was easy for me to fall right back into it.
23. What was your favourite part of the fandom and why did it initially draw you in?
The friends I’ve made, the people have met! They are the best out of all the fandoms I’m a part of. I’ve been on tumblr for years and never had I have a group of people be so nice, supportive and just incorporate me into things. I love you guys so much!
24. Describe your overall emotions/feelings regarding the show being over and the show in general, looking back on it as a whole, with one quote from the show.
It’s a bittersweet feeling. I hate to see it go. But all good things must come to an end. But I guess there’s nothing better to say than, “Feels Good.”
25. If you were able to add one scene in the finale, what would you add?
I don’t know honestly. Maybe we could have seen him reunite with his friends and family. Especially Charlotte and Jasper, Afterall, they probably thought that their best friend was dead for all they knew.
26. Favorite outfit/hair style?
Charlotte’s Date outfit with Jack Swagger. Sis was rockin that romper. Also when Jasper and Charlotte were helper bunnies! Those outfits were hilarious and cute.
27.Least favorite character?
I'm sorry but Piper. She was worse than the whole annoying little sister trope. I swear all ash did was yell through most of the seasons and then they gave this chick a driver’s license, I mean what?? Plus i think her reaction to finding out Henry was kid danger was better in Broken Armed and Dangerous, than in twisted sister.
28. What is question you would like to ask the writers/ producers?
Im tagging @adorkable-blackgirl @chenoahchantel
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Came across this on Tumblr a few days ago, it amused me for a couple of hours or more, filling it in, while watching QI.
Fandom Questions
1. What was the first fandom you got involved in?
Star Trek: Voyager, I suppose at least for reading. Started writing with Stargate SG-1.
2. What is your latest fandom?
I dip in and out of lots of fandoms on and off, the most recent ‘pick up’ is Ballam from Eastenders, I don’t watch soaps, but Robron and Ballam both appear a good bit on my tumblr, so I eventually gave in to checking them out via fic and youtube – thank god for youtube, lol! I still don’t watch soaps, but I watch those storylines!
3. What is the best fandom you’ve ever been involved in?
Gosh, that’s... actually no that’s really easy. Primeval. For anyone not familiar, it’s a ‘silly little dinosaur show’ produced in the UK. It had 4 short seasons, with a somewhat revolving main cast – although they managed to keep 3 of them through all 4 seasons – but the fandom was/is amazing. I made life long friends through the fandom and even though I don’t write much any more I still read some and still talk with those people.
4. Do you regret getting involved in any fandoms?
I would say no. I can’t say every fandom has always been amazing – ship wars anyone! – but mostly fandom has been a very positive experience in my life.
5. Which fandoms have your written fanfiction for?
How long have you got... in genuinely no particular order (basically as they came to me) Stargate SG-1, Stargate Atlantis, Star Trek (TNG, DS9, Voy, Ent & Reboot Movies), Marvel, Kingsman, Person of Interest, Due South, Quantum Leap, Firefly, Buffy/Angel verse, Harry Potter, The Sentinel, Torchwood(/Doctor Who), Hawaii Five-0, Shadowhunters, Sherlock, Primeval, Emmerdale (Robron), NCIS, CSI (Vegas, NY & Miami), White Collar, Empire Records, Bull, Diagnosis Murder, MacGyver (the original), 1-800-Missing, CHAOS, Without a Trace, M*A*S*H, Charmed, Queer as Folk (US), Will & Grace, Bring it On, Nash Bridges, Magnificent 7 (TV series), House, Babylon 5 – I think I got them all... a few of those were one time only deals, but a lot of them have more (anywhere from 2-52 (or more still!) ranging from 100 word drabbles, to thousands of words – hey I’ve been writing fic for 21 years... you tend to amass a lot of fandoms...
6. List your OTP from each fandom you’ve been involved in.
Oh geez, here we go, lol! Okay...
Stargate SG-1: Jack O’Neill/Daniel Jackson
Stargate Atlantis: Rodney McKay/John Sheppard
Star Trek: Elim Garak/Julian Bashir, Chakotay/Tom Paris, Jonathan Archer/Malcolm Reed, James Kirk/Spock – I don’t particularly have an ‘otp’ in TNG, the couple I’ve written were Picard/Data, I’ve also dabbled reading Data/Gordi)
Marvel: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Kingsman: Harry Hart/Eggsy Unwin
Person of Interest: Harold Finch/John Reese
Due South: Benton Fraser/Ray K
Quantum Leap: Sam/Al
Firefly: Malcolm Reynolds/Simon Tam
Buffy/Angel Verse: Buffy/Giles, Angel/Spike, Xander/Spike, Willow/Tara
Harry Potter: Harry/Draco, Harry/Hermione, Harry/Hermione/Draco
The Sentinel: Jim/Blair
Torchwood: Jack/Ianto
Hawaii Five-O: Steve/Danno
Shadowhunters: Magnus/Alec
Sherlock: Sherlock/John, Mycroft/Lestrade
Primeval: Nick Cutter/Stephen Hart, James Lester/Hilary Becker
Emmerdale: Robert Sugden/Aaron Dingle
NCIS: Gibbs/DiNozzo
CSI: Nick Stokes/David Hodges, Mac/Danny, Horatio/Speed
White Collar: Neal/Peter/Elizabeth
Empire Records: Joe/Lucas
Bull: Benny/Jason
Diagnosis Murder: Steve/Jesse
I’ve left a few out where I don’t have particular OTPs
7. List your NoTPs from each fandom you’ve been in.
Here we go again... lol!
Stargate SG-1: Jack/Sam, I just... no. I’ve read a few where it’s a background or secondary pairing, but it always makes me wince a bit. I’ve read a few with Sam/Daniel as a secondary pairing that didn’t make me react that way and I’ve read Sam with other characters, but Jack/Sam just is a nope for me.
Stargate Atlantis: McKay/Keller – no, just no. that was horrible. She treated him like... awfully, trying to change him to suit her, just... no.
Marvel: Contentious, but Tony/Pepper, also Peter Parker/Tony Stark. Maybe because I saw the movies before I ever looked at the comics, but meh.
Due South: Benton Fraser/Ray V – again, contentious, but honestly I think Ray V was kind of a shit friend to Fraser.
Firefly: Anything with Jayne. No really, I just can not stand the character. I spent most of the series wanting to punch him in the face and sometimes you get characters you love to hate, but I just hated him.
Buffy/Angel Verse: Buffy/Spike, Willow/Kennedy
Harry Potter: Ron/Hermione, Ron/Harry, Harry/Ginny... basically, Ron and Ginny should just be loveless hermits who live by themselves. Ok, no, that isn’t fair... but as much as Ron was Harry’s first friend, he was selfish and bitter and Ginny/Harry just... never sat right with me. Ron literally says she spent ‘all summer talking about’ Harry, when she’d met him for all of three seconds. She didn’t know him. It always felt like she fell more in love with the *idea* of Harry Potter, than Harry Potter himself.
Sherlock: Sherlock/Molly, he’d eat her for breakfast. Serious, she’d never survive him.
Primeval: Oliver Leek and anyway. Arg. Creepy little dude is creepy and evil.
NCIS: Ziva/DiNozzo – ugh, just no.
Again, I’ve left out ones where I don’t have particular NoTPs
8. How did you get involved in your latest fandom?
Tumblr, god damned bitches posting gifs of pretty boys falling in love, roped me in!
9. What are the best things about your current fandom?
I dabble in several fandoms at once... but if we go by ‘most recently picked up’ as ‘current’ we’re talking Ballum, which hey, it’s always fun to have an actual canon pairing be my OTP, that’s rare for me, lol.
10. Is there a fandom you read fic from but don’t write in?
Well (so far) I haven’t written any Ballum. (I say so far, because I’m a realist, lol). I rarely read in fandoms and not end up writing in them at some point. Although I have probably dabbled in a few I’ve not written for, but if I read it with any sort of consistency, I mostly end up writing it. I am weak!
Ship Questions for your Current Fandom
11. Who is your current OTP?
Okay, so that list above, just basically go with that. While I do drop in and hour of fandoms and some I certainly read in more than others, I do tend to go back to fandoms... If we were talking about what I’m mostly focused on writing atm... Steve/Tony, Mycroft/Lestrade, Harry/Draco and Robron are ones I’m currently working on most.
12. Who is your current OT3?
I’m not currently writing anything that’s OT3 with any real focus. I have a couple of Neal/Peter/Elizabeth WiPs that I will at some point finish, but they aren’t a big focus just now. I did recently read a fabulous Neal/Peter/Elizabeth fic that’s been on my tbr list for ages.
13. Any NoTPs?
Just... see above, lol!
14. Go on, who are your BroTPs?
Harry Hart/Merlin, those two are Bro’s until the end and I will fight you on this. Also, Eggsy/Roxy! OMG they are such a BroTP! And Tony/Pepper/Rhodey – I may no like Tony/Pepper as a pairing, but I love them as best friends and of course, our Rhodes, because again, I will fight you on this, they are awesome and Tony needs his best friends!
15. Is there an obscure ship which you love?
I’m not sure there is. I suppose I’ve read a few fics for some random pairings over the years, but nothing that’s made me really ship-ship them. I like Clint Barton/Bucky Barnes, after seeing it as a secondary pairing in a Steve/Tony fic, but I’ve seen that pop up a few times since, so maybe it won’t stay obscure for long!
16. Are their any popular ships in your fandom which you dislike?
Jack/Sam, Tony/Pepper, Ron/Hermione, Harry/Ginny, Buffy/Spike – they all seem to be het pairings, oops. But I am mostly a slash fic reader/writer, so I suppose that’s not too surprising.
17. Who was your first OTP and are they still your favourite?
Jack/Daniel from Stargate SG-1. I still love them. I still read them, although it has been a while since I’ve written them on their own (I have got some SG-1/SGA x-overs where they feature)
18. What ship have you written the most about?
I’m genuinely not sure... without going and counting (and I’m not going any counting!) I’d guess Jack/Daniel, McKay/Sheppard, Jack/Ianto and Steve/Danno.
19. Is there a ship which you wished you could get behind, but you just don’t feel them?
No, not that I can think off. I either like it or not. I do occasionally feel bad for not reading a fic if it’s an author I really like, but I don’t read that fandom or pairing, but nothing specific.
20. Any ships which you surprised yourself by liking?
Robron and Ballum, lol. I do not do soaps!
Author Questions
21. What was the first fanfic you ever wrote?
Stargate SG-1, Jack/Daniel, a story called The Dare, The Disaster, The Almost Happy Ending, And The Very Happy Ending – it was awful. Don’t go looking, lol!
22. Is there anything you regret writing?
Don’t we all? No, I wouldn’t specifically say so. There are certainly fics, especially older ones, I wish I could have written better, but nothing I’d go, ugh I should never have done that.
23. Name a fic you’ve written that you’re especially fond of & explain why you like it.
Uh... honestly that’s really hard. I... um... yeah, I don’t know, really. I wrote a nice little flower one in POI that I felt worked rather beautifully. The Language of Flowers. An I wrote an SGA fic for NaNo a few years ago, called A Different Life, but it’s not online, because I didn’t finish it yet and I knew I wasn’t going to finish it any time soon, so I didn’t feel it was fair to leave it up unfinished (there is a reason I don’t read WiP fics and I don’t post them either, because I know how much I hate unfinished WiPs)
Edit: After writing this I reminded myself of a POI fic I wrote called Hours of Separation – It’s a Harold/John break up story that I always intended to write a sequel too where I ‘fixed’ them, but I just couldn’t do it. I broke them a little too well. But I really love it actually.
24. What fic do you desperately need to rewrite or edit?
The afore mentioned A Different Life needs to be edited and finished, lol! Also a Primeval fic with the working title Crypt Keeper (don’t ask) that I worked myself into a bit of a corner on and I figure out how to fix it, but I haven’t done it yet, so it’s still needs fixing and finishing, lol!
25. What’s your most popular fanfic?
I haven’t the foggiest.
26. How do you come up with your fanfic titles?
Sometimes, really easily, a quote, a line from the fic, a song title... other times it’s like pulling teeth, hence working titles on things like ‘crypt keeper’ which is a reference to one scene near the very start and has no actual hint of the plot, lol!
27. What do you hate more: Coming up with titles or writing summaries?
Oh the titles. Summaries you can just copy a few lines from the fic if you are desperate, if you had to post ‘untitled mcshep fic #67’ people would get cranky, lol, hell I’d get cranky!
28. If someone were to draw a piece of fanart for your story, which story would it be and what would the picture be of?
Oh... I... huh. I mean who wouldn’t love fanart for their stories? Any of them honestly! But if I had to choose just one... I guess something in my Animal Instinct verse, which is Primeval (although I always intended to write other fandoms in the verse) where some people transform into animals, based on their ‘spirit animal’ and some art of the characters with their spirit animal form would be awesome.
29. Do you have a beta reader? Why/Why not?
Sometimes, look if you’ve read this far, you know I write in a lot of fandoms, lol. In some fandoms it’s easier than others to find beta readers. Also, sometimes if it’s just something short, I won’t bother. But I do try for my longer fics.
30. What inspires you to write?
That old adage, if you want to read it, sometimes you just have to write it? Spite? Boredom? Honestly sometimes I just have ideas I have to get out of my brain and it’s write or go mad(der)
31. What’s the nicest thing someone has ever said about your writing?
That it inspired them to write something.
32. Do you listen to music when you write or does music inspire you? If so, which band or genre of music does it for you?
Sometimes, sometimes I find it distracting when writing because I end up singing along and forgetting what I’m writing, lol! I do sometimes get inspiration from songs, I guess mostly from the lyrics, but no particular band or genre – although I listen to a lot of country music!
33. Do you write oneshots, multi-chapter fics or huuuuuge epics?
Little from column a, little from column b... littler still from column c...
34. What’s the word count on your longest fic?
Around 60k, I think.
35. Do you write drabbles? If so, what do you normally write them about?
I have. Primeval had/has a week drabble challenge, mostly when I’ve written drabbles it’s been for a challenge, with a specific prompt.
36. What’s your favourite genre to write?
Uh... I mean, my fandoms really span the genres, but I guess sci-fi or crime are probably my favourites.
37. First person or third person - what do you write in and why?
Third mostly, I have occasionally written in first person, if it felt like the fic needed it.
38. Do you use established canon characters or do you create OCs?
Little from column a, little from column b... it depends on the fandom and the story. Sometimes you just need more characters, mostly they are minor roles, I don’t tend to write much established character/oc fic
39. What is your greatest strength as a writer?
Ability to convince myself people will want to read it, lol! No actually to be honest, I love to know people read and like my stuff, but I gave up a long time ago on trying to ‘please’ people with what I write. I write what I want to read.
40. What do you struggle the most with in your writing?
Focus. The problem with 21 years of fandom history, is well... 21 years of fandom history. A lot of fandoms, a lot of pairings and as I say, I never really ‘leave’ a fandom, I just drop in and out and sometimes that means I’ll write on something consistently for weeks or months and then end up getting distracted by another fandom again and not touch it for weeks or months again. Hence, I don’t post WiP fics, because I know I’m easily distracted and don’t want anyone to suffer my lack of focus but me.
Fanfiction Questions
41. List and link to 5 fanfics you are currently reading:
I don’t read WiP fics, so yeah... but 5 I’ve recently read in different fandoms that I’ve really enjoyed
Turns Out, I Have a Rose Garden by betheflame (Steve Rogers/Tony Stark)
Lucky by china_shop (Neal Caffery/Peter Burke/Elizabeth Burke)
Colors by Quesarasara (Sherlock/John)
Betrayal by Blackghost7 (Gibbs/DiNozzo)
Matchmaker (Part 1 of the Marmalade Series) by HastaLux, Mottlemoth (Mycroft Holmes/Greg Lestrade)
42. List and link to 5 fanfiction authors who are amazing:
See now this is hard, because... ahh so many...
FredBassett – Primeval author, her Stephen/Ryan series is epic and brilliant and endless
https://archiveofourown.org/users/fredbassett/pseuds/fredbassett
Keira Marcos – I know other people will have said her, I don’t care. I love all her stuff, across all the fandoms she writes in
http://keiramarcos.com/
theapplepielifestyle – her Steve/Tony is amazing. Hands down some of the best I’ve ever read. I will fight you on this.
https://archiveofourown.org/users/theappleppielifestyle/pseuds/theappleppielifestyle
JillyJames – her Tony DiNozzo is a real life grown up... exactly as he should be considered given he’s a goddamn federal agent!
https://jillyjames.com/
missbecky – I’ve read pretty much all her Steve/Tony and Harry/Eggsy and it’s awesome.
https://archiveofourown.org/users/missbecky
Honestly, I could have listed so many more, but, I’m being good!
43. Is there anyone in your fandom who really inspires you?
Everyone. The thing is, fandom at it’s best is like crack, the more you get, the more you want. The writing, the gifs, the art... it feeds you and makes you want to make more of it, because more of it needs to exist and if that means you need to do it yourself, so be it!
44. What ship do you feel needs more attention?
ALL OF THEM!
45. What is your all time favourite fanfic?
Oh hell no, not even, I can not. It took me an hour to narrow down 5 authors, I can not narrow down one fanfic!
46. If someone was to read one of your fanfics, which fic would you recommend to them and why?
I mean, it depends on what they like... probably the Hour of Separation I mentioned above, if they like the fandom/pairing, or my Animal Instinct stuff.
47. Archive Of Our Own, Fanfiction.net or Tumblr - where do you prefer to post and why?
Archive of our Own. I haven’t touched ff.net in *years* since they started getting super restrictive about what you could post. I do occasionally post stuff to tumblr, but mostly I now post to AO3. I did have my own site and I’ve yet to upload a lot of stuff to AO3 – one of these... months... that will be a project – but it’s amazing. Seriously, having been in fandom 20+ years, going from having to search all over a million different places and now it’s all in one place, where we’re honestly, spoiled and protected. The kids now have no idea how crazy impossible that once seemed.
48. Do you leave reviews when you read fanfiction? Why/Why not?
Yes, but not as often as I should. I love AO3s kudos button, so I can sort of say ‘hey I enjoyed this’ without having to comment, because I sort of hate leaving comments just going ‘hey I enjoyed this’ because I always feel like I should say more, like, oh I enjoyed this specific thing, which yes is an unnecessary hang-up, but there ya go.
49. Do you care if people comment/reblog your writing? Why/why not?
Of course it’s nice to get comments, kudos, reblogs etc. I’m not as attached to them now as I was when I was younger, because I learned along the way that it was more important that I like what I’m writing than that other people do, but it’s still nice to know that something I’ve created is enjoyed.
50. How did you get into reading and/or writing fanfiction?
I went looking for Star Trek Voyager stuff online, pics etc, waaaaaaay back when! And I came across fanfiction entirely by accident... and I read some – het stuff mostly, then I started watching Stargate SG-1, went looking for fanfiction for that, but was not on board with Jack/Sam, found Jack/Daniel went ‘huh really? That’s weird’ read it... and yeah... 21 years later... lol!
51. Rant or Gush about one thing you love or hate in the world of fanfiction! Go!
Ship Wars. No seriously, just don’t. Like, who the actual fuck cares. I like my ship, you like your ship. I don’t care if it’s canon or not. I don’t care if it’s popular or not. I don’t read my NoTPs, but I’d never dream of telling someone else not too. Yes I think they are terrible, bad, no good pairings, but that’s *my* opinion. Don’t try to change my mind and I won’t try to change yours. I avoid them like the actual plague. If someone starts that shit around me, I will shut it right down. You are a dick. Go to Jail. Do not pass Go. Do not collect £200.
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reaction post typed while watching SPN 15x04 “Atomic Monsters”
in which Jensen’s directing blows my mind a little bit?? holy shit. also Dean is only eating phallic things... and the writer in me is reeling. SOMEONE TELL ME THAT WAS JENSEN SINGING THAT SONG PLEASE
--
07:01pm
mostly what i wanna do right now is eat and watch queer eye buuuut i guess i should watch this first. hopefully it’s fun?? i do not want my heart ripped out or to be squicked right now
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07:04
oh no........ becky
i like her as a character but ew ew ew all of her life choices and the way she treats sam
fingers crossed for character development
PLEASE DON’T DIE
i mean .....i don’t LIKE her but still
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07:08
i can’t tell if the audio on my video file is fucked up or whether there’s supposed to be a voiceover here while dean’s shooting people while wearing a very nice beard
because it’s very much drowned out
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07:10
oh hey benny
soooo this is some kind of au fic maybe
-
i uh.... fully expected dean to kiss benny right then
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07:13
definitely a voiceover drowned out on purpose
vaguely heard “title” as the titlecard came up
okay, interesting
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07:15
DEAN GOT VEGGIE BACON
yee
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sam: YOU GOTTA STOP CALLING YOURSELF THE MEAT MAN, IT DOESN’T MEAN WHAT YOU THINK IT MEANS
OHHHHH SAMMY No i think he knows exactly what it means, and what it sounds like
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dean: yeah it does
TOLD YOU. bi baby
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07:18
real bacon
DEAN YOU VEGETABLE-HATING ASSHOLE
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07:22
dean and his flask this season..... guess he’s gone back to quiet alcoholism
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07:23
wow........ becky has not aged a DAY
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07:27
becky: they just sit around and do laundry and talk
okay NOW i relate to becky
thank youuuu davy perez for letting her grow and recognize her awful awful awful mistakes
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chuck: eeeeeeh, people like monsters
becky: meh
HELL YEAH
i mean i love monster stories but i love laundry more
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07:29
there’s a tall cas doll in becky’s bookshelf, yay~
which.... honestly looks like a white tennis ball on a roll of paper with wings attached but still
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07:33
cas is gone and dean is eating SO MUCH
> meat man bacon (textual penis euphemism)
> pretzels (twisted, salty rather than sweet, metaphor for Not Straight)
> alcohol (DESPAIR)
> hot dog (phallic)
-
i can’t put screenshots on my posts anymore bc tumblr sucks BUT
as dean’s sitting with the hot dog, in the shot that contains sam, there’s BISEXUAL BICYCLES
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07:40
sam holds a hyponeedle behind his back
i’m wondering if they’d become a little out of character if chuck is writing them again
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07:42
i’d say the orchid is significant
there’s a pink one in the house of the dad/mom/son, and the speech-making cheerleader mentioned ghost orchids
edit: nah
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07:44
aww there’s a lil cas pop figure thingy!!! yay team free will!!!
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07:45
chuck: fan..fic. it’s not really the same
becky: writing’s writing!!
YES BECKY
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07:52
becky: no-one even mentions cas
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS BECKY
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07:54
flashback to the son biting the girl’s neck, the music kind of halfway there
the directing of this is fascinating
like a music video, it’s ethereal
and... you know when you hear JUST enough of a good chord from a song but you don’t hear the rest and it’s like MMM but just an inch away from satisfying but not in a bad way?? like breathing in a meal you’re not going to eat. like walking past a bakery and not going inside. you want it but you can’t have it, IT TEASES
AND I JUST LOOKED UP THE DIRECTOR AND IT’S JENSEN
WOW. OKAY DUDE 3000 KUDOS TO YOU
this isn’t a tv show, it’s art. like. he just made art. wow
wowow
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there are SO MANY LAYERS HERe, particularly in the audio
the kid talking, chuck’s voiceover, the music in the truck, the heartbeat and roaring sound effects, the kid and the girl breathing and grunting in the flashback
it’s like... sensory overload but at the same time it’s delicious
.....you know what?? this scene is beyond incredible, because not only is is beautiful for what it is, but also for what it represents
because i was just thinking that this feeling, this blast and blur of ALL THE THINGS ALL AT ONCE AT THE APEX OF EMOTION feels exactly like the part where i’m writing a story and everything’s happening so fast and i gotta type AS THINGS ARE HAPPENING and words just flood from my fingertips and my heart is pounding and the world no longer exists, i’m kind of out of my body but no longer have a body
and
like
that’s literally what’s happening. all of this. is chuck writing in that exact moment, unresponsive to becky, WRITING THINGS INTO EXISTENCE
i told my family a while ago, there are some stories only a Writer can write. when they write about being a Writer and you can tell it’s so personal and would be related to the most by other writers. and davy perez has done exactly this here, with becky being us, the fandom, but then there’s THIS
that flood of Everything All At Once is illustrated PERFECTLY, not just in the text, but the way jensen obviously understood the feeling and illustrated it in such a way that i didn’t even remember the layer of this story where chuck’s writing until i was all “hey this feels like that writer thing” and IT’S EXACTLY THAT
this is mind-blowing a little bit??? i really really love this
goddamn
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08:09
ooooooh a vampire trying to save the winchesters from humans
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08:11
.....who’s singing this song? kind of?? sounds like jensen???
it’s probably not jensen but 100% chance he picked the song
that long note as the girl’s taken out on the stretcher. oh man it REALLY sounds like jensen
....i listened again and....... the word “SOUnds”
no, yeah, that’s jensen. the way he kind of hurls a big note up through his chest yet it comes out soft with just that teeeeny touch of huskiness?? that’s gotta be jensen
if it’s not jensen i’ll be v surprised. might be a friend of his maybe. but there’s a personal connection there definitely
edit: NO IT HAS TO BE JENSEN. IT IS RIGHT??? SOMEONE TELL ME IT IS
*misha at jibcon voice* we get a tingly feeling when we hear it so we know it’s you
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08:17
becky: it’s AWFUL. HOPELESS. you can’t do this to the fans
i can’t tell if that textual awareness combined with my dread about the upcoming ending of the show makes me glad the writers understand, or worried that they understand but are gonna give us a dark, hopeless ending anyway
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08:20
did the voiceover just say “bexy becky”
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08:23
dean: now that chuck’s gone... we are..... finally free
oh no baby
oh no
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08:26
laughing bc the ending was just “next to him sit dean and sam bobbleheads”
the end
guess it’s kind of a cause-and-effect thing. chuck types, they wobble
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OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MAN
at least becky’s not dead right?? at least according to chuck talking about her family
CHUCK IS THE ABSOLUTE WORST.
i’m so glad becky is a stable, healthily creative human who obeys consent now and is repulsed by what she did to sam
i probably don’t need to say it again but the directing in this was phenomenal, if highly unusual compared to other episodes. there was a lot of... force in it? actually now i think it about it, it had jensen’s energy. smooth and flowing with smacks of Hell Yeah and some twangs of discomfort thrown in.
also dean’s food was phallic, fight me
i think the bicycles thing probably meant less than the food did, jensen’s way more straightforward with his dick jokes. like, if he’s gonna be gay, he goes for it, doesn’t hide it in the background. someone else put those bicycles there, and he was probably like “ok sure”.
(also? dean’s “nice beaver” quip, followed by the fact that THE PERSON INSIDE THE BEAVER FURSUIT IS A GUY)
i bet i’m gonna get on tumblr after this and someone’s gonna be like “hey here’s the song that was in this episode and yeah it’s off jensen’s new album”
i’m interested to see where this story goes next. but also WOW, i’m not into the fact chuck is manipulating the storyline again and the winchesters aren’t aware of it. curious flip regarding consent issues, with chuck and becky. now chuck’s the violator and becky’s the voice of reason
anyway this was 10/10, and i’m happy to report that after i got past the scene with the red lights in the bunker, and made it to the brothers eating bacon, i’d completely forgotten i wanted to be watching something else and began to fully enjoy this episode~ yay
#spn spoilers#15x04#atomic monsters#season 15#Elmie watches things#spn#post of postiness#Jensen singing#???#director!Jensen
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hiya! i really, really hope things get better for you soon. if you ever want to talk about it, just know that i'm here ♡ i know what you mean about tumblr being a safe haven. looking back, i think i came back here bc i was going through a really rough patch (existential crisis do that to you) and even after all this time, i still find comfort in the chaos that is this website. it's become some sort of refuge where i can be silly and speak into the void about the things that make me happy. (1/6)
hello marina! <3 thanks to tumblr for the reveal haha :D i'll post this to keep the whole thing in one place
apart from ouat, i used to be really into glee. i stopped watching ouat after s5 and the later seasons of glee were a real roller coaster. but i was so happy in both fandoms. i mostly kept to my tiny bubble but i did meet so many lovely people. and the fact that i'll probably never know what's become of most of them will always hurt a bit. but yeah, life goes on and one can only hope that they're happy, wherever they are. ah, this got sappy haha. what other fandoms were you in before? (2/6)
my mind keeps drifting these days, too, and the fact that summer makes me feel super drained isn't helping at all. but YES, YESSSSS, i'm definitely up for a buddy reading. that may help us beat our reading slump! we can read "if we were villains" or we can choose any other book you may be interested in, of course! speaking of naomi novik, i started reading "spinning silver" a while ago after hearing great things from a friend of mine. (3/6)
i don't think i picked it at the right time, but god, the writing was so atmospheric and raw. i'll definitely go back to it one day, i love retellings. also, i hadn't even thought about the colors of the covers, what a cool coincidence! black and gold will always be one of my favorite combos. there's something so magical and kingly about it, right? the collector's edition for crooked kingdom is black and gold, too, and i couldn't stop staring at it the day it came in the mail hahaha. (4/6)
see, i'm incredibly intrigued about nikolai. i need to know more about him. that's one of the main reasons why i want to read the shadow and bone trilogy, actually. if i manage to get out of this terrible slump, i think i'll jump back into the grishaverse and give the trilogy a go. in the meantime, could netflix please give us a trailer or some promo pics? i need something, anything! (5/6)
ahh, tumblr won't allow me to send any more questions for at least an hour because i exceeded the ask limit. but i just needed to send one last message, so i'll just come off anon, i guess hahaha. anyway, feel free to write as much as you want!! as you can see, my messages just keep getting longer and longer. aaah, i'm so sorry. but what can i say, i love letters too! (6/6)
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ah, thank you for good wishes <3 i don't want to burden you too much with my life problems and tbh it doesn't really get easier no matter how many times i talk about it, i will most certainly end up crying again if i start thinking about it too much again. i’ve been living with this terrible feeling of uncertainty about the future for a year now (because the thing will happen, the question is how soon) and it feels like i’m always at the verge tears, one word, one thought and i break. ugh, now i’m being weirdly vague akfdjhg sorry >< but i hope you managed to get through your rough patch! if you need to vent about anything, you know where to find me!
oh, i'm actually rewatching glee right now! i was so into it in high school but stopped watching at some point. last fall i needed a pick-me-up show to pass a few weeks of alone evenings so i randomly decided to rewatch glee and this time to watch the whole thing till the end. i think i'm at the start of s4 now. i mostly only listen to the episodes while cooking :D
other than ouat i think i only actively participated in doctor who fandom. for other things i was just a lurker/rebloger... then i got into animanga (mostly into this one baseball manga?? i literally didn't know the rules of baseball back then. don't ask why i like it so much, i don't understand it myself haha, i just accept it) and made a sideblog for that which i started using more than the main blog so i made a separate account and came here only from time to time
YAY we can agree on ‘if we were villains’!! i’ve been considering ‘the priory of the orange tree’ from samantha shannon recently but it’s definitely too long for a slump mood. ah, naomi novik has polish roots and i remember uprooted was based on polish folklore, it was nice to see elements of the tales from my country in the story. i wonder if her other books have that as well. and oh my, i envy you the collector's edition of crooked kingdom! i own the duology but in the basic covers, i love them lots anyway. what are your other fav covers on your bookshelf? and i hope i didn't oversell nikolai, would be bad now if you read the books now and were meh about him ahaha, fingers crossed!
if you like writing letters to strangers, there's this cool app called 'slowly'. you’re matched with a stranger from somewhere in the world and you can write each other letters. the letter takes time to arrive to the recipient according to the distance between the countries where both people live. i used it a bit when i was stuck at home and wanted to feel connected to the world c:
idk how we should keep this going :D does fanmail still exist on tumblr? if u have ideas let me know hah. have a good night x
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A story behind a story
I have never wrote 100,000 words of anything in my life and 9 months ago when I first sat down to write Villain: Redux I definitely did NOT anticipate the length it would reach by the end of Part I.
Now that it is done though I feel like I can talk about it. Well not really the story but the story behind the story?
A very lengthy and personal author's note for Part I: Remote Control
How I started writing again:
My relationship with my writing was non existent for years. I honestly went through a very long drought where I felt like everything I created just sucked so bad and I had zero motivation for creating shit. I would talk with my therapist or my wife and friends about feeling so out of touch with my creative side and feeling pretty lost without it. Really, I pretty much felt like it was dead forever. I eventually started a personal journal again... And little drabbles here and there would come to mind... It felt alright but meh.
"What did you enjoy about writing that you still feel is missing?" I was asked.
Ffffffuck me I dont know. Writing as a teen and in my early twenties wasn't something I ever thought about even when I did it every damn day of my life. I guess I missed having that ongoing plot in the back of my head that I could escape to whenever life was lame. Daydreaming crazy stories as a kid was just my favorite past time and writing went with it. But I just didnt have any more stories in my head. Nothing new or exciting enough at least.
Anyways. January was my dads bday. 2019 and that year my dad asked for something. Now my dad isn't one to ask for gifts. No, normally he is extremely frustrating and expects everyone to read his mind while saying "I dont care" yet if his gifts dont meet his secretive expectations he gets all butthurt and emo and says that nobody knows him. Ok but January 2019 he asks me to write him something.
"What? A story? A poem? A birthday card?"
"I dont care just write me something."
Typical. "I dont care." Yeah right. What the hell does he expect from me jeez....
My dad was the OG storyteller in my life- real shit or bullshit- he could spin a crazy story like no one else. My uncles and his friends would sit around smoking and drinking and listening to one wild tale after the next. He could entertain people for HOURS just with the shit he’d say. I always thought he'd make a brilliant stand up comedian but my dad would just laugh at the idea.
So for his gift I figured I'd retell one of his personal wild tales - his first encounter with a mountain lion at 12 during a hunting trip with my late great uncle Joe who was his adoptive father figure. Honestly my dad was always so incredibly descriptive and I heard that tale about a bazillion times growing up, and even though he hadnt shared it in probably 15+ years, it was easy to recall. I could just close my eyes and see it clear as day. I stayed loyal to his story but I used my own words. It really surprised me how easy I found those words though. Writing had been such an impossible challenge for so long yet when I finished the short story I had written 12 pages in a single afternoon and I was shocked but in a good way. It was his story so I was pretty sure he would like it. He's got a pretty big ego lol.
I typed it up on the typewriter my dad had gotten me back when I was a teen and serious about becoming a "real writer." I figured he would appreciate that. I gave him the story on his birthday. He didnt read it right away. We went to the backyard and the two of us shared a joint and while I started chasing the dogs in the yard for a bit I saw he finally picked the story up.
And when he finished he started crying. Which is always weird when it's your dad right? He isn't one to cry easily. Last time I saw tears in his eyes was three years prior at my wedding but even that wasnt like this. He told me "You need to write again. You need to try."
But I still felt like I couldn't. I never really thought I was good at it anyway. Sure, people told me they liked my writing and it meant a lot that my dad was moved so much by my short story that I started to believe “hey maybe I can write,” but... I dunno. I had a rough idea for an original novel that I sat down with later that month and tried to work out... But it just felt forced and uninteresting. It wasnt a story my mind could just escape to effortlessly. The passion just wasnt there.
After a while my wife suggested to me "Well when you retold your dad's story that was easier right? Maybe you should retell another story that you love."
And so in August 2019 I sat down and wrote what would eventually become the scarring scene for Villain: Redux
Part I: Remote Control
I spent the rest of August, September and October slowly falling back into my old world of Villain. I reread both Villain and VillainE for the first time in yeeeeeears. What. A. Trip.
So much stood out to me that was like "Ok young me, I see where you were going but this could be so much better." I made my list of what I liked and what I wanted to change.. Constructed my outline and then I just went for it.
Halloween night that year was spent finishing my first draft of chapter 1. It was still in Buttercup's limited POV. I liked it OK enough but I wondered if it would be improved if I tried third person instead. I said "fuck it why not" and went for it again but in third person, adding the beginning history of Townsville and then the opening scene with Mojo.
When I finished it I was pretty amused with it and I found myself just starting right away on chapter 2 and adding even more details to my overall outline- it became a trilogy. It was flowing SO easy and for once writing didnt feel like some forced chore I was performing.
The entire time though I debated whether or not to share any of it. I didn't think anyone would read it. But personally, I was falling in love with my new rendition and I really didn't want to stop writing it. So once again I said "fuck it why not" and I started this tumblr to start documenting my new commitment to rewriting Villain for good. I edited the first chapter and uploaded it a couple days before Thanksgiving.
And the support I got from readers honestly made me cry haha... I really really thought the story would go unnoticed. After all, when I first started writing for the PpG fandom it was always an uphill battle and 90 percent of my first reviews were just flames and criticism. The original Villain really took a while to gain much of a readership and even though it had its moment of somewhat popularity in the fandom, that moment came after it was completed.
A brief glance at the PpG section on FFnet showed me that things really hadnt changed- still 99 percent PpGxRrB romances. Man, it just seemed so unfair. I freaking love this show and TBH I will never understand the fandom's fixation on those damn Rowdyruffs. Whatever. It is what it is. But because of that and because I hadnt been an active writer in the fandom for like a decade I really thought I'd be lucky to get one review.
And I did! On the first day! And I was PUMPED lol. Then over the next couple of days I got more and most from names I recognized from the past! I was so touched by some of the things you guys said, you will have no idea what those first 7 reviews meant to me. And of course the reviews to follow throughout the next chapters only continued to motivate me further.
And now I'm done with Part I. Jeez what a freaking journey. I feel like I've learned a lot though and I hope that the story only improves from here.
Today, this story invades my subconscious more than I would like to admit. But. It is so nice to have an exciting story to escape to once more. And I feel like I can say that my creative drive is finally restored again which feels amazing. Who knew it would be this rewrite of all things to do it.
So yeah. I owe the biggest thanks to my readers (the reviewers especially), my wife, and of course my dad. I know we are just at the beginning of this story, but personally I just feel like I've accomplished more than I could've imagined already... like I said... 100,000 words is something I’ve never done before lol. And I cant wait to share the rest of the story with everyone.
Anyways that’s my long soppy backstory on how I decided to rewrite Villain. Thanks for reading. :)
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12, 19, 29
Hello and thank you for asking :) This took ages, I’m very sorry! I spent the day at the seaside (what a great idea when it’s -2°C outside) and then we went to an Italian restaurant with an extensive wine list, whoops :D Bear with me!
12. List a few of your favorite AUs.
A few? Oh dear… :D There are so many! I have answered similar questions before, I think, so I’m not going to mention my usual favourites and I’ll try to only list fics that are completely AU, not canon-divergent/still set within the or crossing over to the Holby City Hospital setting. And multi chapter fics only, to further narrow it down. Still, there is a very good chance that I read this tomorrow and think “oooh, how could I forget [fic]?!”, because I’m doing this off the top of my head.
Disclaimer: it is very possible that I never commented on any of these, because I’m an idiot who never knows what to say, then goes ‘oh, I’ll comment later’ - and then never does. Still, they are definite favourites.
War of the Wyvern - A restaurant AU - what’s not to love? Plus, I love a good Enemies to Lovers trope and I’m a sucker for catty idiot!Serena
Wild West Wolfe - the whole idea is so far out there (lol) and I really don’t know how this works so well, but it does
concerto for two (hopeless hearts just passing through) and Per Augusta ad Augusta (including all of the respective spin-offs) - Because apparently I like teacher AUs. A lot.
it is always in the darkness that the stars start to appear - I mean… a Harry Potter AU with Minerva McGonagall as one of the main characters. It’s not surprising that this one made the list, is it? :D
And I have to include two WIPs that I love very much:
Notting Hill - even though Bat sort of ruined the movie for me, because it is so much better with Bernie and Serena as the protagonists?! ;)
to gaze at you, from afar (i sigh, i sigh, i sigh) - photographer!Serena? model!Bernie? yes please! And a fic that is tagged ‘A Burn of Some Sort of Speed’ is already a winner in my book.
And a non-Berena one:
Raven’s Honour - a non-magical AU Harry Potter fic set in an All-Girls Boarding School in the 1920s. It is written like an epistolary novel from an OC’s POV (both things I’m normally a bit meh about) and I’m breaking my own rules here, because this is a 10k one-shot, not a multi chapter fic. But it’s so good?! I was prompted to re-read this when redvines and a few others (bat? wonko? flimflam? who else?) started a discussion on Chalet School, St. Clare’s and the likes in September (I think?).
19. How many fics do you think you’ve read before?
Oof. I couldn’t possibly say. Thousands!
29. When you find an author you like, do you follow them?
If they are on tumblr, I do. I rarely subscribe to authors on ao3, because a) I sometimes forget the feature exists, and b) I have a separate email address for fandom-related things that I don’t check frequently outside of events like bss or scrub in, so alerts via email don’t really work for me 😬 But I spend so much time on ao3 that it’s kind of hard to miss updates anyway (let’s ignore that I’m currently very far behind when it comes to reading all the great new fics that came out of bss and berena advent this year 😱)
ETA: it would make my fandom-life much easier, though, if tumblr let me like/comment on fanworks and send asks w/ my fandom sideblog rather than my main blog, because I feel like that’s a bit confusing sometimes 🙄
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Obi-Wan Kenobi, Ahsoka Tano, annnnnnnd Luke Skywalker
Probs gonna be a long post since I Cannot Shut Up, so here we go!
OBI WAN (see look I told you this was gonna be long)
How I feel about them: HELLO HI YES I LOVE HIM A NORMAL AMOUNT. Okay okay, besides the fact that he is Very Nice To Look At (c’mon, I must, I have EYES), I genuinely love Obi Wan because he wants to be a good person so, so badly, and he’s always ALWAYS trying to be better because he doesn’t believe he already is a good person. His life is a literal living hellhole and he doesn’t crumple under all of that tragedy like literally everyone else does, he takes a moment, puts a cheeky smile back on his face, and gets back up and keeps going. He can be a hypocrite, he tends to look over things he really shouldn’t or gets the wrong idea about things and just shuts off what he doesn’t want to deal with, he’s overconfident and a little snobby and petty and a bit of an asshole, and he makes mistakes because he is human, and I love him for all of those flaws because if he was perfect, I wouldn’t like him as much. He’s funny and reckless and would literally die before letting anything he cared about get hurt, he wants to do everything at once so he can help everyone and he literally gives all of himself to a cause because he cares and y’all, he is the most distinguished disaster I have ever come across and he deserves peace and rest and loved ones who don’t die in his arms or betray him and he’s one of the most brilliant fighters I have ever seen and he just draws you in. You can’t help but want to watch him.
Romantic ships: I will love him and Anakin together past my dying breaths; they’re soulmates. I can also enjoy seeing him with Quinlan or Ventress, and of course Satine.
Non-Romantic OTPs: Anakin again, I just love them and will take them any way I can get. Also Cody, Cody is great. And Ahsoka-- especially post-Order 66 (c’mon Kenobi movie don’t let me down now). And Padmé! Ugh, I’m mad TCW refused to let us see the Obi/Pads friendship the movies promised us they had.
Unpopular Opinion: Two big ones. First, that Anakin is the most important person in his life. I can’t see it any other way, and I know other people would disagree. Second, that he’s a good person and ALSO kinda a jerk. He’s one of the most popular figures in this fandom with the most mercurial fanbase. I’d say a good 85% adore him, but then the 15% who don’t hate him with a burning passion. Seriously, it’s like to these people Palpatine was a better Master to Anakin than he was, jeez-- I’m digressing. Anyway, it’s like in retaliation, the other 85% have put him up on a pedestal as someone who’s done no wrong whatsoever. And here I am in the middle like, I love him to hell and back and always will, he’s legit one of my favorite characters, but he isn’t perfect. Like I said, it’s hard for me to like perfect characters with no flaws. So yea, I guess that’s it.
Something I wish would happen/had happened with them in canon: MORE OBIKIN MOMENTS BECAUSE I’M NEEDY. Ok but in reality, there’s a couple things, most I’m discovering have to do with female characters. I wish he hadn’t faked his death when Ahsoka was there. I get why Anakin had to be there to witness it, otherwise he wouldn’t believe it, but Obes, my dude, there was no reason why you had to (further) traumatize a sixteen year old over this. She really did not need to have you die in her arms, you of all people know how shitty that feels. I also want to know why he didn’t speak up (or if he did and we didn’t see it) at Ahsoka’s trial. Was he being punished for Mandalore? Going off of that, I wish we actually got to see him mourn Satine for more than 0.5 seconds of him looking sad after she died and then it literally never being brought up again (I’m looking at you here, Season 7, give me SOMETHING). I’d also like to see him having some sort of meaningful interaction with Leia that would make her naming her only child after him make more sense (I actually have a really good penpals style idea about this, but I don’t know if I’d be able to write it before the Kenobi show comes out and josses it). Also, I heard that the original Twin Suns episode of Rebels was supposed to have Kanan going to Tatooine with Ezra, and I really would like to see a Kanan/Obi Wan interaction, it just sounds like so much potential for angsty goodness!!! ;_;
AHSOKA
How I feel about them: My brave, brave girl! She was what got me into the prequels in general, if you can believe it (wow, my star wars watching order is just WEIRD), I had to know more about her after seeing literally one glimpse of her in Rebels and then saw the Tumblr fandom explode. She’s enduring and snarky and clever and a total badass and I adore how we got to see her grow from a spunky little kid into a shining, confident young woman who I’d follow anywhere. Anyway, I love her and god did she deserve so much BETTER FROM EVERYTHING. HER LIFE SUCKED TOO AND SHE TOLD LIFE TO FUCK OFF AND KEPT GOING.
Romantic ships: I adore her and Kaeden Larte from the Ahsoka novel and you can pry my headcanon that they’re still together up to the Sequel trilogy out of my cold dead hands. Also Barriss Offee (WHY DO ALL MY STAR WARS SHIPS HAVE A PATTERN? CAN WE NOT BE BETRAYING EACH OTHER FOR FIVE SECONDS PLEASE). Also Riyo Chuchi, that was really cute!!!
Non-Romantic OTP’s: Snips n’ Skyguy all the way!!!! But also argh, I adore Ahsoka and Rex and everything about them and Season 7 is going to KILL ME. I also love seeing Ahsoka and Padmé interact, and I really do like the little bits we see of her and Obi Wan and I want MORE of them >:(
Unpopular Opinion: This is gonna sound weird since I just said that seeing Ahsoka in Rebels was what got me into TCW and the prequels, but I really didn’t like her characterization in Rebels all that much after I went back and saw her in TCW. I know she grew up and was traumatized and matured, but Rebels!Ahsoka just seemed a bit too severe, a bit too peaceful (she’s always been a firebrand), a bit too quiet. Yea she grew, but I feel like the environment she grew up in wouldn’t foster the personality change she got in Rebels. She was a bit of a hot mess in TCW, and the Ahsoka novel kinda showed more of that personality in an older version of her and felt more right than what we got in Rebels.
Something I wish would happen/had happened with them in canon: A GROUP HUG WITH ANAKIN AND OBI WAN IN SEASON 7, PREFERABLY HER PICKING THEM BOTH UP LEGEND OF KORRA STYLE. Ok but really there’s a LOT of things. First, that she never liked Lux Bonteri. I’m sorry, I’m petty. He just reminds me way too much of my IRL friend’s stupidass boyfriend who I Do Not Like and I never got what Ahsoka actually saw in him ;p Second is that I did not like how Ezra saved her in Rebels. It’s a grumpy point for me because I certainly like how she managed to outlive the entire Order that kicked her out, it’s poetic, and if they did have Vader kill her I’d still be grumpy because it would be just another Prequel era woman who got killed off because she wasn’t in the OT while the males all find some way to be alive despite not being in the OT. HOWEVER, you will never convince me that Kanan wasn’t the one who deserved that time-travel fixit. Kanan had a family-- a CHILD, who he left behind. Kanan had a future, and a story point that was just left unfinished and unsatisfying for me and other fans, if what I’ve heard was right. As much as it would annoy me, Ahsoka dying facing Vader makes sense from a narrative point because it would follow the path that Vader destroys everyone he ever loved until he meets Luke. Kanan’s death felt sudden and forced, and the fact that they had the audacity to use his death to be like “oh no Kanan had to die and become a Spirit Wolf solely to tell Ezra he needed to bring AHSOKA back”, come on. Rebels didn’t establish Ahsoka and Kanan having any sort of meaningful relationship, it makes no sense for that to be his final wish, so it just feels a LOT like favoritism on Filoni’s part. So yea, I don’t know what I wanted to save Ahsoka because I did want her alive, but it definitely shouldn’t have been at the expense of Kanan. Meh. Ok, but on a happier note, I really wanna see Anakin’s ghost on Endor reuniting with her again cuz that would be sweet and make me cry. I also wanna see Ahsoka interacting with Obi Wan on Tatooine in the new show because please it would be perfect, she’s already met Leia, now she can meet Luke! Also, if we could actually see her find Ezra, that would be very nice, thank you.
LUKE
How I feel about this character: Luke Skywalker is one of the bravest, most kindest men in the galaxy. He’s not the stereotypical macho hero, he’s goofy and he whines and sulks and he makes dumb jokes and he rushes right into things, but he’s determined as all hell and once he loves you, he’s never letting go. He wants to fix everything! He has so many ideas! He’s so bright and you can’t help but fall in love with his smile and his sparkling eyes and you want all his dreams and plans (because he has so, so many of them) to come true, and he will make them come true, because he is stubborn like both of his parents before him. He worked through the discovery of his beloved father being a monster, and not only did he love him despite that, he did the unthinkable and BROUGHT HIM BACK. LUKE BROUGHT ANAKIN HOME BECAUSE HE LOVED AND BELIEVED IN HIM AND HE WAS STRONG ENOUGH TO DO IT. I just wish he had gotten the happy ending his parents never did (and that he had had for 40 years before it was ripped away whoops I got salt on this haha).
Romantic ships: Complicated. I think he would be really cute with Ezra if they ever actually met; their personalities would mesh nicely and I think they’d make a great team! However, I don’t really ship him with anyone else, and me the ace again is projecting major aro/ace vibes onto him because I can *blows raspberry*
Non-Romantic OTP: BROT3 WITH HAN AND LEIA!!!! FOREVER AND ALWAYS!!!!!!!! Y’all but they literally saved the galaxy together, and Luke and Leia love each other so much they knew there was a connection from the very beginning and always supported each other and the BEST space siblings, argh that forehead kiss was my favorite part of The Last Jedi I cry but I also love the chaotic dumbass duo that is Han and Luke and how they’d legit die for each other and have each others’ backs. And, Luke and R2 will always always make my heart melt because these guys are the best team! And Chewie, cannot forget Chewie, Chewie loves his stupid blonde little brother. Ya know what, I’ll also add in Rey for the pure potentiality of what could have been.
Unpopular Opinion: Well it’s certainly not unpopular to anyone I talk to, but Lucasfilms disagrees with me, so I’m gonna put forth that I don’t care WHAT the explanation is, I could never ever ever see Luke even thinking about murdering his nephew in his sleep, not just a “slip up”, not “only for a second”, no. Yes, people can change in thirty years, and I’ve begrudgingly accepted a lot of his actions in TLJ, but not that one. Luke would NEVER. A more unpopular one I have would be that he’s not as much of a “innocent cinnamon roll” as fandom makes him out to be. We see from the beginning of Episode 4 that Luke has the Skywalker temper and he’s a bit on the rude side, even though to me that seems a little more like issues with a filter that he works on developing throughout the OT. But yeah, people tend to declaw him a bit and forget this is the same sarcastic, snarky guy that can and will happily kick the ass of basically anyone who he can’t talk his way out of trouble with (in this, he is very much Obi Wan’s apprentice).
Something I wish would happen/had happened with them in canon: LET HIM APPEAR TO REY WITH ANAKIN’S FORCE GHOST 2K19!!! PLEASE JJ I BEG YOU YOU LITERALLY NAMED THE MOVIE AFTER THEM. Also, please just let him take an active role in Episode 9. I understand it’s about the new protagonists, but please do not include the Sequel Trilogy in the “Skywalker Saga” if you’re just gonna sideline him the entire time. If he couldn’t have his original happy ending, please let him be happy at the end of all of this.
#i’m proud of myself i could have added a LOT more sequel salt in Luke’s section than i did you’re welcome#i also will go off completely unprompted over the IRL friend’s stupidass boyfriend and almost did#so be very thankful i showed restraint xD#our only ho#snip snap#twin sun
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I tried to write a tag post last night but I had too many and it got cut off and my head hurt so I just deleted it but the tl;dr is I finally finished the candy route of the epilogues it was a lot more depressing than I thought it was gonna be
long aimless ramble under the cut
like, idk back when it was new I remember some folks saying it was like as syrupy as the route name would imply and so I inferred it was gonna get real trickstery and then it never did? I think it was about page 20/41 that I realized that it wasn’t gonna go down like that. I didn’t get very far when it was new because I still had some bitter feelings because of meat and the whole tone was just really alienating for some reason. I’ve left the tab open and pinned this whole time, and over the few couple months i’d been reading a page here and there when the mood would strike me, and it would still be just as bizarre as I’d left it, so i’d stop.
Last night I was just in the right mood for something crack and stupid and decided to brace for that kinda vibe and just finish it. Partially because I’m a bit curious about whatever the hell is going on with homestuck2 and want the context, and also because I still had at the bottom of my emails a few ao3 notices about some people’s reaction fic to the epilogues that I wanted to be able to have context for, Especially FRIENDFICTION by oxfordroulette, which already sounded conceptually hilarious, like most things she writes are.
But yeah, going in I expected it to feel like shitty hello kitty bandaid on some wounds that probably need stitches, but the whole vibe just felt super depressing and bleak. Not even just the john parts, all of them. The whole time I was absently thinking of that jane line about dirk’s detective pony edit, how it was cathartic in all the worst ways, and I could relate to that sentiment.
and while I was typing my post last night, I was also thinking about that pbs youtube think channel that was my first introduction to homestuck, and how they compared it to this novel Ulysses, because it was also just real long and on some level a chore to get through. I don’t remember my exact train of thought that got me there to that video again, but I watched the video again just now to try and remember why and:
a) lmao that novel is only 265k words, granted it’s like real dense words, some of which the author made up
b) wow would I even have got to this point in my life if I hadn’t found that channel and watched that video? it was sept 2012 and I remember starting homestuck a month later, getting caught up by thanksgiving, and idr the connecting reasons but I ended up seeking out fan art on DA, which led to me seeing fanfic on DA, and then to ao3 and tumblr, and by the time my birthday rolled around that january I was waiting outside in the cold for the lecture hall to open up just SUPER JAZZED because the serendipity gospels updated. Like, that fall and winter was a real swan dive into a different phase of my life that, if it hasn’t ended yet, sure lasted a long while. The only other medias that have held my attention so long and so consistently have been also fun garbage world of warcraft, and totally not garbage avatar the last airbender and discworld.
c) I keep having this ephemeral thought that I keep wanting to put here, but as soon as I think it I end up on a tangent thought and promptly forget it. Idk, I guess just feeling kinda nostalgic for 2012-14 era homestuck fandom.
meh, anyway this was supposed to be about candy, but like usual i got sidetracked. thinking about other things. but yeah this morning now that my head wasn’t hurting I read those upd8 fics that were languishing in my emails, and they were certainly a lot of fun. I keep feeling like I need to ascribe worth to it, like were those fics worth having powered through the epilogues, and I don’t quite know where this thought is coming from. I feel like I am pretty good at dropping medias as soon as they stop being enjoyable for me, and I guess my feelings about the epilogues are just kinda complicated. Like, maybe I should have just tapped out and moved on, but there’s still parts of the fandom that hold my interest which I guess make it not so simple. I still want to know what’s gonna happen next, but I guess my initial bitterness at it not living up to my expectations at that time just, appropriately, put homestuck on hiatus for myself.
I’m lowkey reminded that after terry pratchett died, I finally got my hands on the science of discworld books, but I have never read them, because then after I do, there will really be nothing left, and I guess the idea that there’s still something left on the horizon is a small comfort, it’s not over yet. but there’s probably no reason to hold back on homestuck because last night I was also thinking of post about how hussie has shown that he sucks at endings, and has realized that he doesn’t have to work out how to do a satisfying ending if he just never lets it end.
I really wish tumblr didn’t eat the last 5 tags on the post I made last night because now that i’m more awake and in less head pain, trying to rewrite the post has quadrupled its length, and while I think I hit most of my original thoughts, it certainly got away from me too. really wish I could remember what I wanted to put down at c).
#Why am I rambling#sorry any mobile users cursed to have this be on your dash rn#and if you're on desktop this is just me thinking on a page#trying to remember my probably much better put last night thoughts down#unless you're just DESPERATE to read me not knowing what the heck I think about things#you're better off scrolling past this#homestuck
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