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addictedtostorytelling · 3 months

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i'm enjoying an opposite of echoes SO MUCH (i'm with the crew that loves gsr as parents, i don't care what canon says, they'd be excellent at it) and it got me to thinking... what do you think could have happened if sara got pregnant like way earlier in the relationship? maybe early or mid-season 6... do you think they could deal with it a little like in your fic? because i really think you've nailed the characters there. just throwing thoughts around here! love your blog and your fics ❤

hi, anon!

thank you for your kind words! i'm so glad you're enjoying the story so far. truly, it means a lot. ❤

re: your question:

i do have an old post that speculates more broadly on what might have happened had sara gotten pregnant during her and grissom's secret dating phase, which you can read here, if you're interested.

if you're interested in an answer that is a bit more s6-centric, i put it under the "keep reading."

in theory, there is a way to tell a believable and compelling story in which grissom and sara experience an unplanned pregnancy sometime during the course of s6, decide they want to keep the baby, and then live happily ever after.

probably multiple ways, in fact.

it’d just be a matter of applying the right types of pressure to the situation and to the characters themselves; knowing what buttons to push with them, as it were.

that said, i think that due to some of the constraints on them (both internal and external to their relationship) during the s6 timeline, the likelihood for that kind of outcome is probably much lower than it would be at a later point in their history, and the types of pressure you’d have to apply to get them to make the initial decision to go forward with the pregnancy would have to be very, very specific.

my reasons for saying so are manifold.

for one thing, though we don’t know exactly when grissom and sara officially start dating, we can say that during the course of s6 their relationship is still fairly new and speculate that that newness might make them both somewhat reluctant to rock the proverbial boat, particularly doing something as life-altering as choosing to have a child together.

though of course they have known each other and been in love since 1998, by early to mid-s6 (i.e., mid-2005 to early 2006), they have probably only been a couple for a few weeks or months at most, depending on when in late s5 or early s6 they actually get together; certainly, no longer than one calendar year (and only then if they begin dating during the events of episode 05x13 “nesting dolls” and find out sara is pregnant sometime around the events of episode 06x14 “killer”).

and, yes, even so early on in the game, they are both individually sure the other person is “the one” and know they want to spend the rest of their lives together, true.

but, all the same, they also still aren’t 100% convinced the other person is as “all in” as they are themselves.

it’s the kind of deal where they’re both sitting there thinking, “i'd marry her/him tomorrow if s/he asked, but i'm not going to say so right now because we just started dating and i don’t want to freak her/him out.”

though both of them secretly “long for more,” neither one of them wants to tip their hands too much and risk scaring the other person off.

they both are dying to know if the other person sees a long-term future for them but are too afraid to ask. they both want to say "i love you and want to be with you for the rest of my life" but are too scared to speak the words.

—and the thing is, discussing the prospect of having a baby together would make all of those unasked questions and unmade declarations between them unavoidable in a way that’s daunting to even think about.

then add on the facts that they also may or may not actually be living together at this point—again, we don’t know exactly when they officially move in to the same apartment/condo—and that regardless of anything else, they are most definitely not yet “out at work” as a couple at this time, and you very much have a recipe not only for them both to be extremely nervous about the prospect of potential parenthood in itself but also to be gun-shy in open discussions with each other regarding their feelings on the matter, fearing to upset what is still a fairly fledgling thing between them.

if sara finds out she’s pregnant without grissom also knowing, she will then be faced with the dilemma of whether or not she should tell him. while on the one hand, one can imagine she’ll want to be honest (because she loves him and wants his input), on the other hand, one can also imagine just how terrified she might be to give him the news—particularly if, as i suspect is the case, they have to this point never broached the topic of possibly having children with each other before.

she’ll probably have some very real concerns about how he might react, what he’ll want to do, and what might possibly happen if their desires are at odds. her deep-seated fear of rejection will almost surely rear its head.

so in some versions of this story? she might opt not to tell him at all.

she might decide it would be better not to upset their delicate status quo and instead to just quietly get an abortion on her own (especially if it were still very early in the pregnancy and she could do so using medication).

she might feel guilty about doing so, not in terms of the abortion aspect itself (her behavior in episode 06x06 “secrets and flies” strongly suggests she is pro-choice) but in terms of keeping secrets from the man she loves. she might feel poorly about herself for not trusting him enough to tell him and/or for unilaterally making a decision that concerns them both.

however, even if she does ultimately tell him or if he somehow finds out the news without her telling him herself—like, say she passes out due to low blood sugar (which is something that sometimes can happen in early pregnancy) and he ends up going with her to the er and is, at her insistence, there holding her hand when the doctor shares the results of her bloodwork—she still might be reluctant to give voice to her true feelings for fear of alienating him, and he might be the same way on his end of things.

even if they do finally have that difficult conversation, they both might refrain from saying what exactly they want, dancing around the issue and being way too deferent to each other to actually explore their true desires. their decision might therefore ultimately end up being more of a nondecision (i.e., they might terminate the pregnancy by default just because neither one of them is willing to discuss any alternatives, though they might want to).

of course, even if they do manage to say what they want, what they want might not ultimately be to go forward with the pregnancy anyhow.

the grissom and sara of canon remain childless throughout their whole courtship and marriage—and because we never see any kind of infertility or failed adoption storyline with them, i tend to believe they do so by choice.

for any number of reasons, grissom and sara might not want children—and that decision on their parts might not change, even in a situation where they were to experience an "oops" pregnancy.

there are lots of couples in the world who never have children and live very happily that way, and show canon certainly proves that grissom and sara could be one of them.

but even if they're more on the fence about the possibility of becoming parents (or are at least open to considering it), they still might not choose to do so in the end due to their circumstance.

i set up the accidentsverse au version of s8 to give them every possible inducement to choose to have a baby, making the choice as feasible for them as it could probably ever possibly be.

the grissom and sara of that story have already been together as a committed couple and living together for about two and a half years and have overcome some not insubstantial challenges together by that point (e.g., grissom's sabbatical and sara's abduction). not only are they “out” as a couple at work and married (which gives them a lot of leeway in terms of what they're "allowed" to do), but their work situation itself has been modified so grissom is no longer sara’s boss and also now splits his supervisory duties with catherine (meaning he is able to maintain a much healthier and more reasonable work-life balance than he ever has before). moreover, sara has been going to therapy and has been taking an antidepressant ever since her abduction at the end of s7, so while her mental health is still very much a “work in progress,” she feels a lot more stable than she ever had in years past. she also feels comfortable asking for help because she knows what kinds of resources and supports are available to her.

all of these factors contribute to their decision to have a baby in that story world—as does, frankly, the fact that they’ve just gotten married, not because they have any moral or social compunctions about whether or not their child is born “in wedlock” but because a) they're so fucking happy at the moment that they feel like they can take on the world, and, b) knowing they recently made another kind of public, lifetime commitment to each other helps reassure them that they can also make this one, as well.

of course, things are very different for grissom and sara in canon s6.

as discussed above, not only are they still fairly new to being in a committed relationship with each other, but they also may not live together or may not have been living together for very long. they’re not “out” at work as a couple, they don't have the same legal protections that they would as a married couple, grissom is still technically sara’s boss, and sara—though happier than she’s ever been, just on account of being with grissom—most likely isn’t receiving any kind of mental health treatment (and hasn’t since her mandated peap sessions during s5).

so given all of these factors, it’s very possible that upon discovering sara’s pregnancy, the grissom and sara of s6 might decide against having the baby, either in a “we’re just not there yet right now (but maybe someday)” kind of way or else in a “we’re never going to have children” one.

and, honestly, to me? this option seems like the most likely one at this point in their history.

ninety-nine times out of one-hundred, i think they’d choose not to have a baby so early on in their relationship—and especially because i tend to believe neither one of them has ever aspired to parenthood previously.

i can imagine some versions of this story that are angsty—again, not because grissom and sara have moral compunctions against abortion but because they might both very much be “in their own heads” about the situation, each one fearing they were, due to their own inadequacies and hang-ups, depriving the other one of something they might secretly want.

however, i can also imagine versions of this story where this experience actually has a positive influence on their relationship—where though they choose not to go forward with the pregnancy, they support each other throughout the ordeal and do end up managing to really communicate, despite their initial trepidations, eventually coming out stronger as a couple because they do.

maybe they might even decide that though they’re not ready to have a baby at the moment, they might revisit the possibility at a later date (after they finally “go public” with their relationship).

of course.

just as i can imagine scenarios where they choose not to go forward with the pregnancy, i can also imagine ones where they do. as stated above, though i think it’s unlikely grissom and sara would opt to have a kid during s6, “unlikely” doesn’t mean “impossible.”

some version of this story exists—one time out of one-hundred—where they decide to go for it.

it’s just that the story conditions would have to be calibrated just right in order to get them there.

timing would be key.

to my mind, the longer they’d been a couple before they realized sara was pregnant, the more likely they’d be to even entertain the possibility of “hey, maybe we could do this—.”

so early s6? (like, say, in a situation where after the events of episodes 05x24 and 05x25 "grave danger," pts. i and ii, they were both so freaked out by what had happened that they threw caution to the wind and had passionate, unprotected sex, and a few weeks later, during what was still technically the hiatus between s5 and s6, sara missed a period?) less of a chance they choose to have the baby then; still just waaaaaaay too early.

but mid- or late s6? (like, say, after all of the flirting and eye sex at the end of episode 06x22 "time of your death," they go home and have real sex and end up, unbeknownst to them, breaking a condom, and a few weeks later, during the events of episode 06x24 "way to go," sara is feeling a little under the weather and thinks she might be anemic, so while they're at the hospital waiting for brass to come out of surgery, she flags down a nurse—maybe tina—and asks her to do a quick blood draw, only to get back some unexpected news?) maybe, possibly they might.

likewise, the likelihood of them deciding to have the baby would increase if they were already living together once that positive test came through.

if they’d already cleared one major life-change hurdle together, then i tend to suppose the fact that they had would boost their confidence that they could potentially clear another (even if said hurdle were a very tall and imposing one, like potential parenthood).

the fact of them living together would also make it more likely that sara would either be compelled to confess to grissom that she was pregnant or that he would somehow find out through environmental means otherwise (e.g., because he realized he wasn’t seeing tampons in the garbage at a time when she should be having her period or he found one of the pregnancy tests she picked up at the drugstore hidden in the bathroom sink cupboard or because he witnessed her having morning sickness or because her ob/gyn called and left a message on their answering machine telling her her bloodwork results were in and she should call back asap, etc.).

their cohabitation also might help them just in terms of “imagining future logistics”—i.e., being able to muse about stuff like where they might put a crib or picturing how it might look to have a highchair in their kitchen; thinking about coming home to each other and their kid.

of course, beyond just timing and logistics, a lot would also come down to the them of it all.

when the news first came out, they each would have to respond to each other in such a way that it was clear the door was not closed.

they wouldn’t necessarily have to be like “yes! i want to do this! let’s have a baby!” from the moment they found out sara was pregnant, mind you, but they would each have to demonstrate to the other that they weren’t entirely opposed to the idea, either. there would have to be some sense of possibility; a lingering well, maybe— hanging in the air between them.

they’d also have to make clear to the other person that either answer was safe.

sara would have to feel like grissom wouldn’t resent her if she didn’t want to have the baby. she would also have to feel like he wouldn’t feel “baby trapped” if she did. more so, she would have be certain he was committed to her and their relationship and not just acting out of some a misplaced sense of gentlemanly obligation or antiquated social responsibility; she would have to feel like he wanted to actually be with her, whether she were to become the mother of his child or not.

meanwhile, grissom would have to be convinced that sara wouldn’t feel deprived if he couldn’t give her the “picket fence, 2.5 kids, and a dog” life that maybe a younger man might be able to; that she would be content maintaining their current lifestyle, even if it meant they might never have children. he would also have to feel like if they did decide to go forward with the pregnancy, it would be something she really, truly wanted to do and she didn’t feel as if he were pressuring her into anything. (he would hate nothing more than to make her feel like she wasn’t enough for him, just by herself.) equally or even more important would be his sense of security regarding sara’s acceptance of him as he is; he’d have to really believe she knew what she was getting with him, in terms of what kind of partner and parent he could be at her side going forward.

they would both have to say the right things at the right moments.

for example, though he might be tempted to, it would probably be for the best if grissom didn’t immediately propose to sara as soon as he learned she was pregnant, as he wouldn’t want to make her think his sudden rush toward commitment had more to do with an impulse to “make an honest woman of her” than with an actual desire to be with her forever, on his part.

they’d also have to allow themselves to be vulnerable in ways beyond anything they’d ever done before, talking through the fears and doubts and hopes and aspirations they carried, both individually and as a couple.

and inevitably, they would come upon some difficult conversations, particularly regarding their work situation.

having a baby together would necessitate them “coming out” at work as a couple, and they would need to be realistic about the risks of so doing.

in canon s7/s8, their punishment for flagrantly breaking department rules and maintaining a secret personal relationship for 2+ years is tantamount to a slap on the wrist.

yes, sara is compelled to switch shifts, but, honestly, they’re lucky neither one of them gets fired (and that none of their previous case convictions are overturned).

in a situation where they would have to come forward and admit that grissom, as a supervisor, had gotten sara, as his subordinate, pregnant, they might not walk away so unscathed.

my sense is that in canon, sara nearly being murdered in the line of duty somewhat shields her and grissom from more serious fallout for their professional transgressions.

she ends up in the hospital, fighting for her life, and then she and grissom fuck off for 4+ months afterward, taking an extended medical leave. once they both get back to work, enough time has already passed (and they have both suffered enough) that ecklie and the lvpd overlords probably don’t feel quite as compelled to “bring down the hammer” on them as they might have done otherwise.

everyone has more or less moved on.

but in a situation where grissom and sara had to self-report their relationship—and sara’s pregnancy—at a much earlier date, they wouldn’t be possessed of that same kind of “victim status” to elicit the pity and leniency of the department higherups.

sara might be somewhat protected because the pregnancy discrimination act of 1978 would make the department reluctant to fire her (as they would fear she could counter with a potentially costly wrongful termination lawsuit).

however, grissom would be more open to scrutiny.

and while in the past his professional reputation and unique skillset as one of the premiere forensic entomologists in the country have always insulated him from serious disciplinary action and/or termination, in this case, even his impeccable credentials might not be enough to save him.

a fifty year-old male employer getting his thirty-five year-old female employee pregnant despite department policy forbidding sexual and romantic relationships between members of the same forensics team just isn’t a good look for the lvpd.

it's difficult to account for.

grissom might end up losing his job over it.

and grissom and sara are both smart enough to realize such is the case.

they’re also both smart enough to realize that even if neither one of them is fired, they might still be forced to switch to different forensics teams and/or that their team members might be very upset with them (to the point where they might possibly lose friendships over the issue).

they'd probably have to have multiple long, hard talks about what they’d do in worst-case scenarios.

(for example, if grissom gets fired, should sara also quit? should they just move someplace else and try to start fresh once the baby comes?)

ultimately, they’d have to come to the determination they still wanted to go forward with the pregnancy, no matter what professional ramifications they might face for so doing.

from there, they’d also have to talk about the timing of making their announcement.

of course, early pregnancy is a risky time, so they probably wouldn’t want to jump the gun, revealing the truth too soon, in case something were to go wrong. however, they also couldn’t afford to wait too long to fess up or else they might run the risk of being found out before they were ready—a turn of events which could potentially result in worse consequences for them than if they’d come forward with the information of their own volitions.

accidentsverse sara can’t even keep her pregnancy a secret for a week once she knows about it, on account of her awful morning sickness. if the sara of this au faced a similar situation, she and grissom would probably be compelled to approach ecklie much sooner than they might like.

the whole decision-making process here would be a minefield, but i can imagine ways they could navigate it and arrive at the conclusion they wanted to have this baby enough that they were willing to assume all of the risks and suffer whatever professional consequences might come along from them so doing.

getting from the point of “holy shit, we’re terrified! but is this maybe something we want to do?” to “yes, absolutely, it is!” would be no small challenge, but if they were both gentle enough with each other and themselves, brave enough to ask and answer difficult questions, realistic about the challenges, hopeful about the possibilities, and genuinely in love with the idea of bringing a child into the world and raising it together, then maybe there are some versions of this story where s6 ends with a different iteration of the famous bathrobe scene in episode 06x24 “way to go”—one where instead of kneeling on the floor, sara’s lying on the bed beside grissom, and his hand is on her belly, and rather than saying she’s not ready to say goodbye, what she tells him is she can’t wait until they finally get to say hello.

it would be the kind of au that would take a lot of finesse to write in such a way that it would truly work, but as flannery o’connor says, you can do anything in fiction that you can “get away with,” and i think there’s a way one could get away with this storyline.

you’d just have to do so very carefully.

anyway.

thanks for the question! please feel welcome to send another any time.

#answered #anon #asks: csi #**#my meta #meta: csi #meta: gsr #hypothetical scenario #gb #let's talk shop #csiverse

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thesherrinfordfacility · 1 month

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Hi - no, not a bot, yes, I know this is middle school drama, still sending this message to everyone on the real real love server because I want to let people know that it was made in bad faith/ expressly to bait people into saying bad opinions so that a group of 6 or 7 people can make fun of them. It's got its own hidden channel for this purpose. there are screenshots of it on fakefakelove. You can decide to do with this information what you will.

i was aware that it was going on.

i won't pretend it's the completely moral thing to do, but i do understand having a very closed gc/server to rant and vent about shit, i think that's entirely human. but the bit that gets me personally about this is that this is a server dedicated to a specific fic, and that fic is incredibly good. it's very well written in all senses, its deliciously complicated and bending, and i remember saying back along that ng has his work cut out for him. it is that good, and it was frankly my favourite wip since the first couple of chapters.

it's therefore no surprise at all when other people - fans - then want to engage with it, discuss it, make fanwork of it, and theorise about it. i thought initially, when the server was created, that it was a lush idea, meant genuinely and with sincerity, and i definitely had joining it on my to-do list. when you create any work, good or not (subjectively speaking, but immaterial regardless!), you shouldn't expect people to come into said server, or onto your ao3 comments, and start shitting on it; but afaik and seen, that hasn't been happening.

what has happened, it seems, is exactly as you've said; people have joined this server and started expressing general hcs or thoughts, and/or wanting to express personality and wanting to get to know people/show parts of themselves, and are being privately humiliated for it. people of all different backgrounds and origins, different neurodiversities and genders and sexualities, have come together to want to express their admiration to the author for their fic. i'd guessed that the overwhelming majority of people that have joined that server have done so in good faith, and... been rewarded by being humiliated and laughed at by a small clique of others. and, as it may turn out, that was the whole point of the server in the first place.

now again, back to my point; that private channel is - in isolation - not the worst, most reprehensible thing here... not imo anyway. having a channel for you and your friends to rant and vent, in private, is one thing. but a) it probably would have been more prudent and wiser to make sure that whoever is in that channel is comfortable with whatever is going on, and b) it's, imo, the part where they seemingly bait people with questions, then take that privately and bitch about it, that turns it from understandable to deplorable.

id hazard that the vast majority of the people that joined have done so in good faith, hoping to connect over a stellar fic. afaik, some of those people may have found out about the channel, and not been bothered about what's being said about them, but i know of others that have been really upset by it. imo, there is a pretty substantial line between venting about shit you see in the fandom, and bullying - and this has crossed it.

the bit that tickled me especially is that these are the rules for the server. including this private channel attached to the server:

🤷‍♀️

furthermore - and to me this is crucial - do not send ANY level of hate or shit-piling on the author. it will not do anything, it will not resolve anything, and it will just sink you to the same level as this kinda shit that's been going on. anyone i know that is doing so will be blocked. ive ummed and erred over sharing this, but i think people in the server already, or thinking of joining - if they're not aware already- ought to be aware of this before joining and engaging in it.)

(for anyone else reading - please know i have the asker's permission to post this with their url; they are aware it will be public. i am sharing this info (and my take on it, albeit not asked for obviously) so others can make the fully-informed decision to avoid or exit the server etc if they feel that is the best course of action for them. this ask will not be tagged beyond '#ask'.

edit: this ask will also be made unrebloggable.

#ask

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dredshirtroberts · 3 days

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as usual, interactions with my family (benign and in fact only the bare minimum of an interaction) have caused me to have Complex Feelings.

my grandpa's got cancer. this isn't news, it's just a fact and has been a fact since 2016. Pancreatic cancer that has metastasized outside of his pancreas (specifically in his lungs - it's damn lucky it's slow growing and he's a contrarian by nature). He is no longer doing chemotherapy about it, but he's part of a very small percentage of people who survive more than 6 years with it. so. You know. there's that.

He's doing well, all things considered. Again, it's slow growing cancer, he's somehow lucked out with it. I'll know we're close to the end when he stops wanting to get out in his boat and go fishing. Or stops working on the boat in general. I'm very fortunate to have known all of my grandparents for my whole life so far - even if some of them ended up being major bigots apparently. oh well, when you've got 6 you're allowed a couple duds.

My grandpa and grandma are trying very hard to love me. They've adjusted to the name once i mentioned "hey, literally no one i am still talking to calls me my old name anymore, i know i said it was okay to use in the transition stage but i honestly forget to answer to it, would you mind?" and then they immediately went for the change. they still struggle with my pronouns but like. grandpa's got cancer, i'm not going to fuss at him for using she or her for me (especially during a season where like. i am more girl right now, whether i like it or not lol. it's...complicated). I'll correct grandma later down the line if I gotta but like.

they both just assume i'm one of those Strange Lesbians and like, i'm not not one of those, it's just not what i told them when i came out. so like. it's complicated.

I... cannot get over how much they were emphasizing how happy i sound now. Grandma even mentioned it in her note in the card i got sent for my birthday. I mean it's true, i am very happy up here. I'm happier than i ever have been, in fact. I have never been this well off mentally before.

it sucks a little that they like. didn't understand how very deeply unhappy i was before now. that they have to hear it now, how very different i am when i am excited and enthusiastic and looking forward to an actual future for once.

it sucks a lot that i don't feel comfortable sharing more with them, that i don't feel like i can reach out and request comfort or assurance from them. It sucks a lot that they're not the only ones that I feel like this about in my biofamily.

I didn't know I didn't trust any of them until i found people I do trust. until i found people i know i can rely on when things are bad even if only to be in the bad with me so i'm not alone.

the birthday call and card were both somewhat of a response to my update email - one so that grandma could double check to make sure the address would receive mail so i would get my card, and two so that we could catch up a little.

We didn't discuss my health issues at all. the questions i had about our family's medical history, I didn't get any of that information from them. I could have asked. Should have. Forgot. Could probably call them back and bring it up but...

well. Grandpa's got cancer. I don't want him worrying about my heart. or my bones. or my pain. he doesn't know me that well, after all. it would be an unnecessary burden to him. Especially since all of that information was in my email, and they never actually confirmed they got it, outside of me reminding them that the address was in the email - and then the card got to me.

so they got the email. they have it. they have chosen not to respond with any useful information. Just like my aunt on that side. just like my sister.

just like my mom would have, if i'd sent it to her.

at least i know she comes by it honest.

like. bright sides: money for my birthday hell yeah that's a lot of money to buy weed with (i will likely end up using it for bills mainly, but. still). grandpa's still doing okay (desperate to get back out on the water with his fishin pole) and like. i think we're all in a place mentally where we're just. accepting of the inevitable. which like, not fun, but of the pre-grief options, i'll take it. Grandma sounds like she's doing alright and it's getting warm out so she's going to be able to garden which will help her feel even better probably. i don't have to cut off yet another section of my biofamily at this point, which is always a nice thing to not have to do (i won't lie...they are on thin ice, i'm just... delaying things because, well. grandpa's got cancer. wouldn't you?)

i...am allowed to not deal with people who stress me out and make me anxious, even if their genetics did contribute to my existence (and especially if they didn't) but... well. grandpa's got cancer. and he's always been a bit of a dick. he's actually mellowed out a lot, and well. they stress me out but it's... very different from my mom (their daughter). so. they get to be on the same boat as my aunt (their other daughter) and my sister. i won't do it yet, but. well. i might do in the future. it depends on them.

i hope i don't gotta carve out more of my biofamily in order to have peace. i'd like to keep some blood connection to that side of the family in my circle. i just might need to cast a wider net and involve people i really don't know all that well into it. no time like the present to start building new relationshps with folks, right?

anyway i'll go back to trying hard not to focus on the background planning for what i'm going to have to be ready for when funerals start happening.

#heads up i talk about my grandpa's cancer dx from 8 years ago and the way my brain has been dealing with that for that same time period #i'm cool about it but like i know it's a sensative thing for others so just be aware #also as usual a cw for my family being mentioned in general #i'm glad they know i'm happy now and they know what that sounds like #and that they're glad i am happy #are the important things i guess

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inkykeiji · 3 years

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Clari, can you tell us more about poison!keigo??

ooooh hehehe sure!! what would you like to know???

#like his favourite ice cream flavour???#LMAO I'M KIDDING #kind of #but i'd love to discuss him if you've got some specific questions!!!#nothing that spoils the fic tho!! <33 #because ofc you're going to see more of him in part two and part three #and his personality will reveal itself more then <3 #but yes send in any questions u have!!!!#i hope ur having a swell wednesday anon!!!#sending health + love your way!! please stay safe n hydrated out there!!#inky.bb #clari gets mail

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class1akids · 3 years

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the thing with the series right now, is that im getting major mixed signals.

personally i get the people who are saying this is going a bit too smoothly and deku will hit a roadblock soon. because that's the way i feel too. deku's general appearance rn feels unsettling and unnatural to me at least, so im waiting for the moment where something is gonna give and everyone else will be re-introduced. im down for that.

but at the same time, it feels kind of disingenuous, because deku's not really doing it alone is he? he's got his ghost buddies that are at no real risk of injury and pretty much all think positively of him. they're all good people helping him grow and helping him do the right thing. on top of that he's got the top 3 heroes AND all might shadowing him. can that really be called doing it alone? it's not like deku ran away and is homeless, it's not like the vestiges are some shady figures tempting him to do questionable shit. nope, he's just training "solo" while still relying on teamwork albeit indirectly (shindou's attack against muscular). deku hasn't gone dark or edgy or lost his mind. he seems a bit sadder and more serious, definitely traumatized from everything in the war, but he is still smiling, and his mindset seems fine, if a little heavy leaning into the chosen one role.

we hope the narrative will eventually frame deku ditching his friends as wrong, but it's at most a shitty friend move, not a life altering mistake, not when he does still have support. we hope his focus on doing things solo will be framed as a flaw, but it would feel disingenuous since he's not doing things solo. he's just ditched his old support system for a new one, and the reason it feels so frustrating for me is that you've got this huge cast of already developed characters i care about being seemingly "replaced" (even if temporarily) by a new cast of characters (half of whom introduced in what we assume is near-endgame) with in comparison paper thin personalities that all fall into a slightly different brand of good boy.

maybe horikoshi will somehow get me to care about banjou and whoever four was beyond a surface level "oh im cool with him being on screen" but i'll still feel bad because it would mean splitting up the panel time between even more characters in an already huge cast, and eating up everyone else's moments.

maybe this could have worked if the other users had some more spice in their personalities, provided more conflict for izuku. but they don't. they're all nice and they're all love him. which isn't bad. it's just a bit boring. it's like those harry potter fanfics i used to write as a 12 year old where voldemort never existed and everyone was just happy.

and it's very telling that number 2 created such a big buzz in the fandom specifically because he reminds us of a certain someone down to the way he kicks down doors. it's almost like the moment a character with a certain personality shows up we all get excited because we see the potential for conflict and intriguing storyline. and it's not bakugou's appearance that facilitates this (i guarantee reactions would be similar even if 2 kept his personality while looking nothing like baku. the appearance is just the bonus) but rather his character. i know he's gonna provide more narrative struggle and therefore growth for deku than someone like banjou is. disagreement drives a story forward.

and that circles back to my main problem with the current arc. it's not that i hate deku or think he's boring. i just prefer his interactions with other characters and want to see him around people that will actually challenge him. the reason i like having bakugou around deku is that he provides important balance. that's why i found him entertaining in the ofa tea times. the moment he joined he started pushing them. deku and all might had been pussyfooting around each other a lot and bakugou comes in and instantly challenges them, brings a worldview to the table that's uniquely his and that contradicts both deku and all might. he brings conflict. bootleg not bakugou does that too, but even this in a subdued manner (apparently yoichi just had to flirt with him a little and he was down). whereas everyone else is just the happy circle of good person trademarked flowerchildren who can all respect each other's opinions. WHERE IS THE SPICE?

perhaps if i was more invested in deku's character or the fight level up aspect of the story i'd be more down for this. but as we are now i just read every chapter and think "... ok". i was discussing it with my brother yesterday aswell, and he agreed that there's gotta be some more spice to the ofa plot than this. it was such an interesting power at first with so much potential for mystery and intrigue. i liked it even after sixquirks popped up because i liked deku unlocking backwhip. horikoshi did a fantastic job with that scene and i could feel for izuku's frustration at being seemingly put back to square one with a volatile power after watching him struggle so much with getting it under control the first time.

but then the charm was lost because everything started going way too smoothly and all the windows for possible conflict were being rapidly shut, from the possibility of evil/unwilling users to the dilemma of giving that type of power to a kid in the first place.

just idk. sorry this got so long i just have a lot of feelings lmao 😭 i hope ill end up eating my words and that hori actually has something great planned that ive missed the clues for but well, i don't have high hopes.

I fully agree. This covers all my frustration points that I have voiced before.

And exactly the fact that he’s teamed up with ghost friends and top 3 is what makes this so frustrating. He REPLACED his friends. In order to protect them, he just ditched them, and I wouldn’t care if we would get the UA scenes in parallel, but we are not getting anything.

They just POOF disappeared from the story, and with the MC being seemingly on track, we have no clue when we would see them next. And what’s worse, it feels like they don’t matter in this post-war world. Not to the story, not to Deku, not to All Might, not to anyone.

And yeah, maybe it will lead to something, but that doesn’t change the fact that the pacing is horrible, the OFA development is insultingly dumb and there is just no sense of accomplishment.

Deku gets like candy powers and abilities that other characters GRIND years for. Bakugou’s first updrade in hundreds of chapters was this new explosion speed boost that he earned by sacrificing his life and before we even get to see it in a fight, it already looks like a rusty old car compared to Deku’s full-extra flying batmobile.

Even if we cut back to the students, their abilities will just feel too pedestrian and overshadowed by Deku. Which is why I’m losing hope that we’d see them fight ever again or get any role or development other than whatever group battle is planned for them in the end. And of course a few extra panels for the main kids.

#bnha critical #i'm glad to see so many people being frustrated #i'm not glad that the story is going the way it is #because that sucks #but at least we see the problems and talk about them #c1a asks

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0606-hyuck · 3 years

Text

BOYFRIEND!HENDERY

includes:

♡ before the relationship

♡ becoming comfortable/humour

♡ relationships with other members

♡ jealousy/pda/flirting

♡ disagreements

♡ dates/texting/social media

♡ languages/"i love you"

masterlist

enjoy!

wc: 1.7k

♡ before the relationship ♡

hendery had noticed you hung out in a spot he went to reguarly

the first few times he saw you he would simply admire you from a distance

and then he realised how creepy that was and decided to actually go up and talk to you

on the inside he was quite nervous, but on the outside he conveyed an air of confidence that you liked

so of course you gave him your number

and soon you were hanging out all the time

you quickly realise that hendery is...something lol

but not it a bad way

you never know what sort of shit you and hendery are going to get into, he's so unpredictable

he confessed to you first

let's be honest, he developed a crush on you really quick

but he was still nervous to admit his feelings for you, even though it was obvious you liked him back

one of the only times you've seen him so shy and nervous lol

he bought you a bouquet of flowers and took you out to lunch and confessed to you there

he was really worried you'd turn him down so he was kinda surprised when you said yes to him being your boyfriend

♡ becoming comfortable/humour ♡

nothing much changed when you started dating

he had always been his crazy self around you anyway

but he became more cuddly and affectionate towards you which was cute

randomly comes up and smothers you in kisses when you're not even doing anything

LOVES back hugs!!

imagine hendery coming up behind you and wrapping his hands around your waist while he buries his face in the crook of your neck

omg i'm in tears

speaking of tears, hendery has you crying with laughter daily

let's all admit it now, homie is hilarious

he literally went to a comedy/acting school???

so ofc he's going to be effortlessly making you smile all the time

in my opinion he has the best banter and loves to joke around with you

nothing is off-limits for him

he catches on to your jokes really quickly and is super witty so you have so many long running inside jokes with him

a little bit uncomfortable when you're crying so instead of reassuring you he tries his best to make you laugh to take your mind off your problems

the definition of 3am thoughts

"water is wet, don't fight me on this y/n"

makes you question both the world and your sanity at random times

he's actually really smart though so his 3am questions are both entertaining and convincing

feels the need to fill in silence with his own voice all the time

even if you're cuddling with him

can go like 2 mins without talking

and then suddenly his mouth is by your ear and he's asking you whether you believe in a specific conspiracy theory

it's kind of soothing though

just lying in hendery's arms, listening to him argue his points about something while you slowly doze off

♡ relationship with other members ♡

he was really keen to introduce you to the other members of wayv

because you're an important part of his life and so are they

luckily they all accepted you really quickly

and for once hendery is the one being teased because he's in a relationship

"oh my god hendery is so fuckin whipped for you!" "disgusting"

but hendery doesn't care because hell yeah! he is whipped for you! he isn't embarrassed at all

you deserve to be showed off and loved bby

wayv eventually stops with the teasing when they realise they're not going to get a reaction out of hendery

and they don't even blink an eye when you come over to the dorms

also yangyang specifically really likes you because you humour his teasing and jokes

and since you're dating hendery you're basically an older sister to yangyang

♡ jealousy/pda/flirting ♡

hendery LOVES to flirt with you

sometimes he says really greasy pick up lines to you

other times he's sooo romantic

he will also tell you how much he loves you anywhere

literally praises for days

he especially loves flirting with you in front of the rest of wayv

he's so shameless lol

sometimes the other members can't even stand being in the same room as you and hendery because he's so whipped for you

and it's strange for them to see him flirting nonstop lmaoo

and he absolutely loves it when you flirt back

like it makes his heart race so fast

but your flirting also just boosts his ego and confidence

i just feel like he'd be a really good (but cheesy) flirter

and when you flirt back he's like "aww that's cute you're trying" but he loves being praised too

ugh someone just tell hendery how amazing he is and how much he's loved please

i can't see hendery getting jealous at all

if wayv is jokingly hitting on you he'd probably join in (unless you were uncomfortable ofc) because he loves praising you and making you blush

even if it was a stranger he'd find it amusing they were trying to flirt with you

"good try pal but y/n is not going to get with you"

he usually doesn't interfere either unless you really feel uncomfortable because he knows you won't flirt back

hendery trust you so much that it doesn't even cross his mind you'd ever cheat on him or hurt him that way

and if you did cheat you'd absolutely break his heart and i would be legally obligated to hit you over the head with a baseball bat multiple times

but you never would because you love hendery too much to ever lose him

for some reason i can see hendery not being phased by pda?

he's doesn't hesitate to kiss you in public and hold your hand and give you back hugs and cute shit like that

because mans knows how lucky he is to be with you and is so proud to be your boyfriend

so ofc he's going to show you off at any opportunity

♡ disagreements? ♡

idk what you guys would have disagreements about

because his relationship with you is the first serious one he's ever had

so he tries his absolute best to be the perfect boyfriend

and he's not far off it tbh

always thinking of you and things you'd like

he just puts so much effort into the relationship

and the second he accidentally upsets you or does something you don't like he's on his knees begging for forgiveness

and you're like "hendery, baby, it's not even that serious. you got the wrong flavour of ice cream but i'm not even upset" lol

♡ dates/texting/social media ♡

dates with hendery are always so thought out and fun

he remembers little things you've said in passing that you like

so if you said "oh i prefer fun, active things" he'd make sure your next date includes lots of opportunities to run around and get close to you

he's just down for whatever makes you happiest because the most important thing for him is seeing you smile :)

when he's away homeboy misses you so much he has no idea what to do with himself

constantly moans to wayv how much he misses you

rings you every night after he's finished his schedule to tell you about his day and listen to yours

usually you're the one listening to hendery talk but it's okay because you like to listen to him and he makes sure to ask you if he's boring you (which he never is)

there's no specific time he texts you during the day

he's not really the type to send good morning/good night texts unless you were already texting

however he randomly sends you pictures of his pets, louis, leon, and bella lol

and we're talking super zoomed in photos or him holding their ears/tails/paws in a funny position

basically 90% of his social media is you/selfies with you

he already posts selfies heaps so he doesn't mind adding you into the mix

as we've previously discussed he's not worried about showing you off

so he's not on that "i can't post my partner on insta" bullshit

it may seem sweet that hendery posts pics of you heaps but be warned

he does not care if you are pulling an embarrassing face in the pictures

in fact that makes him want to post it even more lol

you're constantly on his instagram stories too

he has a habit of randomly photoshopping his and your faces onto other people and then posting that??

don't ask me why but he finds it hilarious and totally normal to do that, so he does

he also likes leaving funny comments on your own posts

and he definitely sends your own posts to you in a text saying something like "I JUST DROPPED MY KIMCHI YOU LOOK SO GORGEOUS"

your hype man

♡ languages/"i love you" ♡

hendery prefers to talk to you in chinese (cantonese/mandarin)

but he'll also learn english or korean for you since he has the basics down and friends to help him practice

any other language he will struggle through to learn because he want to make you happy

hendery is the first one to say "i love you"

he's so in love with you that he probably says it after like a month of dating

so you're a little bit shocked but you can tell he really means it

and he'd be kind of shy about it because he knows it's a bit soon to be saying stuff like that

but he really wants you to know how he feels about you

because he's never felt this way about anyone and his love and affection for you is literally bursting from him

aww

i honestly don't know much about hendery

except he's an absolute sweetie and would 110% be the best boyfriend ever

if i could choose anyone out of wayv to be my boyfriend i'd definitely choose hendery

because i know my feelings are gonna be validated and i'm going to feel loved 24/7 and also peeing myself with laughter

anyway only people with big dick energy stan wayv

so if you have a big dick, stream kick back 😜

#neowritingsnet #nct #nct 2020 #wayv #nct scenario #nct imagine #wayv scenario #wayv imagine #wayv as your boyfriends #hendery #hendery nct #nct hendery #wayv hendery #hendery wayv #hendery x reader #hellabts #huang guanheng

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syubub · 3 years

Text

2021 Reading for BTS and the collective!!

Wow wow wow! I didn't disappear or get dragged away by a demon. No no, I just got thrust into unexpected shadow work and I now have an unhealthy obsession with sea shanties and a love of pasta.

I had this idea planned to be early in January but that didn't pan out so I'm doing it now. I have another yoongi reading in the works and another fun thing coming soon as well!!

I promise I won't bore you to death any longer but I hope you've all been doing well!!

Disclaimer: This is for entertainment purposes only and not to be taken as fact.

If this message doesn't apply, let it fly!

Cool cool cool.

Let's get it.

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Oki. I first want to say that this I gonna be long lol. I did a meditation and gathered some little pieces of things y'all might need to hear and then I pulled cards for every month. The fountain tarot deck is the cards for us, the collective, and the rider-waite cards are for bts. It'll make more sense when I add picks and stuff. I did a little extra card pull for yoongi for the month of May too :) I'll make sure to type out all the cards in text so you know what they are (the pics are kinda wack.) I also used my pendulum to ask if there was a bts related event for every month and that's at the bottom. It's just to take in the possible energy for the month and something that could result from that energy!

LETTUCE BEGIN (hehe)

Starting with the section for the channeled messages. I want to reiterate that this was collective so if it doesn't resonate with you, the message might not be for you! Use your intuition.

(Enough talking. Damn)

So. As I said this was through meditation and connecting to the big column tree thing (I told my cousin about the tree/pillar and they were like,, "so basically a big energy dildo in the æther?" .... I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT. h e l p m e) and asking if there was any messages or advice that needed to be delivered and it was... intresting?

Things came fragmented. So there was little messages like, "Its gonna be okay" and "things are changing for everyone" and "open your eyes if you want to see" (that's sassy.) There was one particular thing that was confusing me though. Straight up it was just "flower" on repeat and like a really bad picture of a flower? Like you could tell what it was but it was bad quality. Anyway, I was like "okay. Kindly shut the fuck up. Pls." And I wrote down flower, pink flower and rose. Sooo.... idk but there you go.

More messages were things like, "the block isn't in your head", "try calling forth that which you seek" and... February. Possibly there is specific (very very very loose) connection to the 10th-19th? I'm not to sure what or why but I'd say maybe look out for opportunities on these days and also maybe external events.

Continuing with dates. In the last this 21 and January 21 came up. It came up again but with 2 messages. So first, either 21st is a day where something is put into motion (possibly private or public) or announced and the second was "add them together dumbass" that's not very kind but 3. Again this has been discussed too but but but... maybe a signal of a third mixtape 👀 (not necessarily on the 21st per say but possibly in March? I'm really not sure).

Oki. I got side tracked like I always do and started thinking about tattoos and stuff and I really want koo to have a peony tattoo. I feel it in my BONES. It would suit him so well. and as I was thinking about tattoos I heard, "don't be surprised if yoongi gets/shows a tattoo this year" ??? What the fuck? I think maybe they messing with me but now I have hopes and I don't want them to be crushed and thrown to the wind :(

Back to normal stuff, "the theme is growth" I think that fits very well with the reading. "Blue might be a lucky color" self explanatory. It might be lucky. "Start practicing grounding and centering" this was LOUD. This will help you in how you react to events in the future. Really do practice this if you haven't.

This is where it gets a little weird. So, I got a message that said "start living as if you never existed." I am not a 100% sure what this means but I think I have a pretty good guess. I hate to make it sound weird like this but by sort of focusing on something that is so hard to comprehend (because our brains can't comprehend not existing very well) you kinda break the 4th wall? Like in Deadpool when he addresses the audience and is aware that he is a character played by Ryan Reynolds? anyway, focusing on something that seemingly impossible you kind of accidentally open up the floodgates for a lot of other things. I would say if you are not in the right headspace to do this don't do it but it can be a powerful way to break up the monotony of reality. The theory that everything happens simultaneously bc time isn't a linear progression events blah blah we are energy blah blah the multiverse blah blah.. Theres so so so so so so so so so much about this and how it applies to things that I could probably write you 10+ dictionaries worth of material but for the sake of simplicity and not wanting to write a novel right now, I will continue. The main lesson is to start challenging your perception of the world around you. Ask why and why and why and why. Essentially seeing cracks in the matrix. Pulling your head out of your cosmic ass, realizing that rose you're smelling is actually daffodil ect. It's not supposed to bring you fear but just kinda encouraging you to question all the things that you perceive as given truths.

I tried to make that sound cohesive but really it's such a big concept that I can't really wrap it up all nice and neat.

Oki. May and March are also important times.

Listen to your intuition and try not to take everything so seriously. I'm not saying to check out and go squat in the Himalayas but it's important to find joy in the now. Life is already tough enough so don't forget to watch a silly show that you like or change your hair to a style you've never tried, wear makeup in a very loud way. Just have fun and don't worry so much about things that you can't control. Listen to yourself and your intuition.

Well that was all over the place. Let's get on to the actual tarot part now.

For the record, the pictures are right to left.

January for the collective

We have the empress, the sun, 7 of swords and a fortune that says "act well your part; there the honor lies"

Hmm. Ngl I was a little confused to see the empress and the sun for January... I mean it hasn't been great. So I pulled clarity card 7 of swords. The 7 of swords is all about betrayal. It's about the deception and and actively getting away with things. This is people lying, cheating, sneaking and the works.

This makes much more sense!! The Sun card is usually about joy and success and happiness but in this case I see it as illuminating the betrayal. It's shining light on the deception and keeps the spotlight there. Its also an energetic card so I think that shows passion for uncovering the truth.

With the empress card too I think January is all about getting creative in all forms. Creative ways to protest, to mourn, to celebrate, to connect. Also taking in the abundance that we DO have. The beauty that surrounds us. I like to think of aphrodite energy for this. Its not just love and passion and creativity but is also asserting yourself and having strong passion for what you love and fighting for it. Did you know aphrodite was also called upon in ancient Greece in times of war? She was honored as a goddess of war but still a goddess of love, the sea, fertility ect. What I'm trying to say is that being a creative and "feminine" energy is in no way weak. Sometimes the most powerful things come from this energy. Love aggressively with good intentions. The point is that you should take whatever you're feeling and translate it into something creative or something you care about. The fact that covid is still a thing really sucks but take any rage, hurt, sadness, joy, love whatever and use that shit to make something amazing. Bake bread and punch the fuck out of it, paint your frustration, play hopscotch in higheels while you listen to heavy metal. You get the point.

Now January for BTS!!

We have the death card. (I only pulled one card bc I have things planned from this)

January has been... strange? To say the least.

This card can be a lot of things for them. I think this points to more maturity in their music? Like they've finally ditched the "shiny kpop boy band" label and are being taken seriously in the west. I also think that they're going through a musical/concept transformation~ I think it also signified the change in plans bc of the Grammys perhaps they had things planned an that fell through so they were forced to rapidly change plan/course.

For January: possible mixtape or announcement.

February for the collective

We have 8 of coins reverse and hanged man reverse.

The 8 of pentacles reverse talks a lot about self improvement. Doing that good good inner work and self care. Working on developing parts of you that you've maybe neglected. It's also learning how to work with how you are instead of wishing you weren't the way you are. If you have a therapist its a great time to maybe ask for any extra tips that you can practice daily to help you even more. Maybe exploring more into insecurities relating to finance or jobs or your passions. If you don't have a therapist but you have the means to get one I always highly recommend. You don't have to have "problems" to see a therapist. Everyone could use a non biased point of view that is literally trained to help you be you best self. If you can't get therapy, I get it. Shits tough rn but there's still things we can do to better ourselves like Journaling and reading therapy blogs or self help books (not the taky shit) or trying a hobby you fell out of touch with. There's also a lot of places where you can get therapy promise on the internet. Most importantly, better yourself in the way that you need. Take time in February to take notice of what you want to improve upon. The 8 of coins reversed does come with the warning not to get stuck in perfectionism. Go easy on yourself and if you find yourself getting frustrated when working on projects, try to take a step back and practice whatever it is in a fun way and then come back to it later

Hanged man reverse talks about knowing that you need to chill but you don't. You'll need too. Maybe you'll find yourself swept up in work and tasks and you're over whelmed and know you need to stop and catch your breath but you resist. Why? Well, perhaps you're trying to ignore reality by filling the empty spaces with things and stuff so you don't have to face what's bothering you. Not wise. Take time for yourself. There's also the flips side where people are just kinda stuck.. creative block. Maybe you want something to turn out one way and it just isn't, so your stuck and frustrated and can't move past it. Let go of your expectation of how it should be and let it be what it is. Go with the flow and maybe you'll see a new way to overcome your problem. You'll eventually get that break through that you need! The theme of February is about self improvement. Listen to yourself.

February for BTS

We have judgment.

Hehe yeah. This card is about rebirth and the inner calling. Letting go of the old to step into the new version of you. This is also a very spiritual card lol. This can talk about a new decision that you have to trust your gut on. This is a very significant card that screams comeback to me. It also can talk about sharing your struggles with a group of people and that to me sounds comeback ish. Maybe this will be an announcement in February, maybe they'll be working on it idk but this is ultimate comeback energy so I hope they utilize this for a big group project!!

February: possible BTS comeback (even my pendulum knows)

March for the collective

The chariot and justice

This plays directly off of February! With the chariot you're taking the self improvement that you've done and putting it to action! Now is the time to act on the dreams and passions that you have don't wait and hope for the best. March is about action and standing in your power.

Justice card is cause and effect and truth. What you do will have consequences good or bad. Not doing anything also has consequences. Cease the moment and make the best of it. You'll be taking responsibility for what you do. You start a business? Now you have the responsibility of running it and you get the credit. Stuff like that. Stand by your decisions with conviction and trust yourself.

There's also the side of justice that talks about bringing justice. If you've been wronged, you'll be brought justice if you stand up for yourself.

We also carry the continuous lesson of learning what we truly believe and challenge those beliefs!

March for BTS

Oki we have the hermit and the 6 of pentacles reverse.

Well... let's start with the 6 of pentacles reverse. This can really talk about being so generous and giving to everyone else that you forget about yourself. I think that maybe they might be over exerting themselves and giving so much that they're exhausted physically and emotionally as well. I think too, they take on so much of our pain like its their own? Idk but this would be a good time to do a large scale fan project to show them a little extra love!

With the hermit card it talks about a self introspection so they could be looking inward as a team and kinda evaluating their bond.

I also see this as maybe being alone as in they maybe can't physically go to the grammys? Or maybe they had been planning the rescheduled concerts and they had to be pushed back even further? Things like that. Regardless this signals re thinking/reevaluating the goals that they have and considering what direction to go in!

March: possible mixtape or solo project?

April for the collective

We have 6 of coins and 3 of cups reverse.

Let's start with the 6 of coins. It's about sharing. It can be about charity so sharing money via donation but also giving time, effort, energy to people as well. Giving knowledge is good too! It's an all round exchange. Maybe someone lends you money or you lend money to someone. It's give and take. It's a two way street. It's also a card of balanced finance. So money stuff should be looking promising around this time (for you U.S people this could point to more stimulus help as well)

And for the 3 of cups reversed... I see this as reopening of places and people struggling to find the balance. So think people who've been in lockdown celebrating by throwing a big party... yikes. This card reminds that we should be mindful of the long-term consequences that come with our actions.. maybe also people that are experiencing fear of being in public places now. This is only one facet though. Bc I think this also means in general, missing being with friends and having a renewed relationship because you've really realized how important it is to have these people that mean so much to you in your life. Don't forget that you have people that love you and want the best for you. Call them when you feel alone.

April for BTS

The heirophant

Mhmm. This one kinda gives me vibes that they'll be mentoring people? Idk but I see them more as the heirophant teaching what they've learned/ know to help guide others. HOWEVER this could also be them taking a new task under their belt. Learning something new. Since this is as a group reading I assume that this talks about the group as a whole. This card is also very tradition oriented so maybe they are taking lessons that are connected to traditional Korean culture? Maybe its for RUN or maybe its to incorporate into music and preformance. Think bts mma preformance but all of them learning together? Idk, it's just a thought (maybe wishful thinking). It also talks about seeking counseling so maybe they'll do yoongis idea from the most recent RUN.

This can also be them embracing this kind of leadership/ status.

April: I got nothing. It does feel like something though

May for the collective

Five of cups and queen of cups reversed

Five of cups is disappointment, regret and self pity. Now honestly this to me looks like possibly a tightening of restrictions yet again. Regardless of the situation that this is talking about, the best thing you can do is not wallow in the bullshit. You scrape yourself off the pavement and move foward. You'll need forgiveness of yourself and others and that if shit isn't going your way, you need to pull your head out of your ass and look around bc there's options out there. It's like drowning in a kiddie pool. Just stand up, dude. The water is like 5 inches.

Queen of cups reversed talks about self love and self care. It's more of that look inwards energy. Think about really taking care of yourself. May might be emotionally draining so you need to be ready to take care of you! Part of self care is making sure that your boundaries are well enforced.

Be on the look out for codependent behaviors. Check in with yourself.

The queen of cups is very intuitive and having it in reverse can talk about you not taking enough time to listen to it. Make an effort to meditate for like 5 minutes a day at least. Do something to let yourself connect to your intuition and higher self.

May for BTS

9 of pentacles

This about enjoying the fruits of your labor and absolute abundance and luxury. This could talk about them rolling in the dough after signing a new partnership or having a concert or something if the sort. This could also be a time where we see them buying new things like houses, cars and rings (lol) but also this could be them doing a very high production value project! Also namjoon and his bonsai army are thriving in this time!

May: possible concert or scheduled concert event. Activity of some kind.

Yoongi interlude

I asked for one card to give me an idea of what the mystical May 13th really is. I got: the star, 2 of cups, 4 of wands, the world and the sun.

Guys. I can't with this. 2 of cups is a card of union, romance, soulmate. 4 of wands is celebration, joy, homecoming, bliss. The world is completion and the sun is happiness, joy, marriage, enlightenment.

I've said it a billion times but that's some soulmate shit. So soft so cute and May will be eventful for his personal life.

June for the collective

Death and the heirophant reversed.

Wow wow wow death is transformation and a new chapter so a new way of life and something new/ different that changes how we see things. Again this could be relating to new covid things and new policies and stuff like that but also new as in new to all of us. Groundbreaking perhaps?

The heirophant reversed talks about teaching yourself. Being your own teacher and making your own path. This might be spiritual or otherwise. Challange what the world wants from you and instead listen to what you truly want bc you don't need anyone's approval. Continue to ask questions about why things are the way that they are.

June for BTS

Page of pentacles

Oki oki page of pentacles means a new creative venture and manifestation. Maybe something that they've been wanting for a while finally comes to fruition. This might be the start of a new project that they haven't done before or something cross genre? Idk but its a really good sign of being motivated for a new endeavor and manifesting any projects that they've ever wanted to do. Love this promising energy!!

June: idk

July for the collective

10 of swords and 9 of cups reversed.

10 of swords signals a painful ending. Also deceit. Its a necessary end to a long battle. The only thing you can do is control how you react in these situations. You just kinda gotta surrender into the pain and know that it's temporary. Take time to reflect on what happened and why and how it will help you grow.

The 9 of cups reversed talks about valuing stuff and material things over emotions and spiritual things. This can be talking about society in general, that we are becoming more aware to the fact that there is often more value placed on ephemeral items rather than humanity as a whole. This also can be talking about coming to the realization that we've been working so hard towards... something we don't really care about simply because we were told that it's what you do.

If you want something different to happen you have to put in effort. You can't be sitting in front of a water fountain being like, "damn. I'm thirsty. I really really want water so why isn't it in my mouth yet?" Like?? Hello? You have to take the first step, my dude.

Certainly don't try to do anything that would cost you finatial security or health.

You have the potential to find happiness within yourself. So try looking inside instead of looking outward.

July for BTS

4 of swords.

This is about rest and relaxation!

Taking time to meditate and take some time to look at what you've done objectively. Ots like the hermit in a way but much more focused on resting and relaxing so you can come back stronger and with better direction. Maybe they'll take a break for a couple days but I really see it as them reassessing options. Especially if July goes how I think it will. Maybe they'll film something like In The Soop again? Maybe we'll see bon voyage type thing? Idk. But it could be something kinda out of the spotlight? Maybe something more healing?

July: maybe something?? I'm not sure but it seems like something might be in store.

August for the collective

5 of coins and the wheel of fortune

Well let's see. 5 of pentacles talks about isolation and a negative mindset. This talks about falling on hard times but its a temporary set back. This energy can be talking about falling on hard times emotionally as well. In the card it shows a woman outside of a church shivering and cold but she's too busy thinking about all that she's lost that she doesn't notice the warm church that she could step into for shelter.

But then with he wheel of fortune that talks about fate/destiny, opportunity and luck so maybe this is a necessary loss so that a new door can open. This does kinda tie in with July as well. The end of something is painful but it's often a necessary thing. Might be a bit uncomfy but that's how things change. Again I see this maybe hinting more towards society but none the less it's definitely a theme for August to have doors closing and new ones opening so be on the lookout for that.

August for BTS

The devil.

Now don't fret. The devil talks a lot about choice. Most notably the choice between instant gratification and and something more substantial and the devil leans towards indulgence. It also has a lot to do with the shadow side. This could talk about ~scandal~ sure, but I think its more of a time where you become aware of negative patterns and you shine a light on that part you've ignored. On a much lighter note this card talks also about an incredible bond between people. It can be unhealthy if not given space or boundaries. Listen to pied piper and come back to me.

I also REALLY REALLY REALLY hope that this card points to this: sexuality. The boys have always been pretty pg when it comes to the topic of sex and embracing sexuality so I really do hope to see something more daring and grown up and exploring a tastefully sexy concept. On the same vain as sexuality this card also talks about kinks and stuff like that so don't be surprised if we get more outfits like fake love Era bondage harnesses.

August: ???

September for the collective

We have the world and 10 of wands reversed.

The 10 of wands reversed talks about carrying burden. Doing extra work and taking on more responsibility. Doing everything by yourself and carrying this heavy load alone will get you burnt out quicker than anything. You might be taking on too much and you'll need to prioritize what you really need to focus on. I also think there will just be a lot happening in September for a lot of people. It's a lot of working hard because you know it's good work or because it's what's right. This could be social responsibility that's placed on you or work responsibility. For whatever reason this burden isn't something you want to share with others because you think its yours alone to deal with. It's not though bc you'll figure out eventually that if it hurts so much you'll find a way to lessen the burden. 10 in tarot is all about the completion of a cycle and going through the wands cycle is hard work because for anything to be made of passion, you need to put the work behind it. The burden isn't forever, the heavy work load will lighten but this is you seeing things out. It's a good thing!

Especially considering this is paired with with world. The world is all about completion and that's what you're doing here is finding completion. You are seeing things out until the end but you just need to learn to give up some responsibility, lessen your burden.

This also talks about hard work being put into wider social spheres as well. Things like the vaccines becoming more widespread through the whole globe or at least better planing and infrastructures not related to covid. Things are looking up!

September for BTS

Knight of swords reverse

This bad boi is restless energy. It's being so pent up that you're ready to burst and you really want to take action but you can't because something is keeping you from taking that action. Again I do think this is kinda covid related in regards to touring bc if they do tour in 2021 its gonna look a lot different. This energy can be a bit impulsive and directionless so I think maybe they'll channel this into album material something? I'm not really sure tbh. I'm suprised this energy didn't show up earlier because it almost seems inevitable.

September: no clue

October for the collective

Ten of coins and the star reverse.

Welp let's start with the 10 of coins. Its about wealth, financial security, and long term success so this is a pretty prosperous time. This talks about the obvious monetary wealth and material wealth but also an abundance of opportunities. So this is definitely a good time to enjoy whatever consistency you have. This energy is really really abundant in the career space as well. So October could be very prosperous in the job field and you'll have likely found what it is you really want and could be successful at. This could be the actual act or just the idea. This is could also talk about investing in something for your future, this could be time or money.

With the star reversed it can talk about a loss of faith and a disconnection. This often points to feeling like you've just been forgotten or left out. Like the universe doesn't give a shit about you and left you out to die. Things might seem unfair but always try to look for the lesson that you can take from the experience. Seeing the 10 of coins and the star makes me think that a lot of people have kinda lost faith in their manifestations and also just in the concept of not living in a state of need. Especially if you see other people doing well and you've been trying so fucking hard but you haven't gotten a break. I know we hate to hear it but this can serve as a test of faith. Or rather an opportunity to get your shit in line and take a second to breath. Do something good for yourself and then continue on. This star in reverse serves to show you what no longer sparks joy and helps you find what does and what that initial spark was in the first place. Helps you get back to the original vision/ spark.

October for BTS

5 of pentacles reverse.

This signals the end of difficult times and getting that groove back. The last month was restless energy with no where to go but this month that energy is certainly put to good use. They might be figuring out what has been missing In their lives and starting to rectify that. They are definitely reminded that material wealth doesn't bring spiritual or emotional wealth. Might be also feeling a bit alienated too.

October: something is likely but idk

November for collective

Six of swords reversed and the moon.

Transition and change is prevalent. The 6 of swords is about leaving behind the familiar. Maune this is leaving a job, a new change in the status quo, leaving a relationship ect. The thing you have to keep in mind is just how amazing this is in terms of what it will do. It will alow growth!! And bring clarity!! Thos can also be societal as well, something being left behind in favor of something new. It's letting go and reflecting so that you can move foward.

This is strengthened by the moon card. The moon card is the subconscious and all the things that come with it. The anxiety, the illusion, the uncertainty. You'll want to deal with whatever emotions come up. The moon can signify a confusing time where things aren't what they seem to be. That's the illusions so you'll have rely more on intuition at a time like this. Your dreams might hold significance in this time as well. Listen to your guides and your own guidance because it will help you understand more than you did before this journey began. Using moon cycles to your advantage in November might really help you!!

November for BTS

7 of wands

Challenge and competition. People are envious of bts. We know this. But people will be challenging them for what they've gained: music industry domination. This might co.e in the way that people will spread vicious rumors in attempt to disenfanchise or possibly it will be a fair fight. It could also be a challenge/ battle for some other aspect that involves legal matters.

My best guess though is good old competition. Bts has proven again and again that they will continue to do what they do how they do but they will not be trampled over. In the best way this could renew some of that spirit in friendly competition. They will tear eachothers throats out for a pack of ramen so maybe a bit of competition will be good for them. It keeps life intresting.

November: nothin

December for the collective

Two of cups and the emperor!

Let's start off with the emperor card talks about stability and order. It can also signify being the "breadwinner" so its a good sign that you'll kinda be on top of your shit. The emperor is also an amazing leader so you might find yourself taking on a leadership role too! This is very organized energy that works very smoothly!

two of cups is such a lovely way to end out the year! It's love and partnership and attraction so if you aren't in a relationship by this time you might meet someone who strikes your fancy!! On a none romantic relationship note though, this card is also great for business partnership bc it signifies that you're on the same page and have the same goals in mind!

It's harmonious relationships and trust between them!! Love love love this energy so much! Cups are the suit of emotions and this card is so promising.

If you are in a relationship, this can talk about "falling in love all over again" like you're just reminded of how good they are.

December for BTS

Queen of cups

Intuition, creativity and emotional stability. They're using intuition to guide their moves foward with emotional maturity. They are in a place of knowing what they want and why. This would be a good time to work on an album or a book or to release them. The queen of cups is like the friend that you can tell absolutely anything and somehow they have a helpful answer. This card is really calm and it can also talk about subconscious thoughts.

I think that bts is maybe making more of a conscious effort to make sure that what they do is just as emotionally fulfilling for them as it is for us! They might be kinda pondering the future at this time and considering if this is what fills their emotional cup!

December: possibly a thing?

Now these cards are the vibe of the year and some advice.

For the collective (on the left)

Three of swords and judgment reverse.

The fortune says "accept the challenges, so that you may feel the exhilaration of victory"

The 3 of swords is about disappointment and hurt and heartbreak. It's about the emotional release that we all need when shit gets tough. Don't pretend to be strong. If you need to cry, fucking cry. This year is about letting go of expectations and do what you have to do to release so you can move foward and not have these things pile up.

You have to make an effort to not let yourself take on what other people think of you. You aren't defined by what some asshole says. You define yourself.

Judgment reverse is about self doubt and ignoring your path. It's being stagnant and being harsh on yourself. This year has a focus on building yourself up and noticing when you are not. Bring light to the things that are holding you back without harsh judgment for yourself. You can't beat yourself up. If you make a bad decision you know not to make it again. Take accountability and move on.

The oracle card is inner temple.

Seriously all the focus of this year is in self improvement and dear god, please take time to work on yourself spiritually!!! Everything you want to know is there if you take the time to listen. This should be a place where you feel safe and welcome. It definitely should not feel like something you HAVE to do.

For BTS

10 of swords and page of swords

The fortune says "you create your own stage. The audience is waiting" (how tje fuck?? This is the perfect fortune)

The 10 of swords is a painful but necessary end. This is accepting the current situation. They maintain focus for 2021 for them is adapting and keeping their spirits up.

With the page of swords it talks about new ideas and that kind of creativity. It's also a lot about communication so I really think that they'll be figuring out new ways to connect and new projects that will be prosperous.

The oracle card is Pleiades

This is what we talk about all the time. Bts has helped so many people want to be better and do better. They are uplifting humanity and giving people a sense if belonging. Bts finds you when you need them most 💜💜💜

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Wow I had to write this up over 2 days bc this was so fucking long. I need a nap. Idk if I'll proof read this before I post it so don't hate me for the mistakes (honestly, there's like 10,000 spelling and grammar mistakes in my other posts too 🙃)

I hope you guys enjoyed it and maybe this will be helpful to to have a forecast of some possible energy for you to look out for!!

Also bts bc I love them. I have another bts 2021 reading I'll do soon too!

Hope you guys are happy and well 💜

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years

Text

Caleb & Janis

Caleb: quantos dos meus telefonemas você não vai responder? Janis: 🤔 Caleb: me diga que você está segura e eu vou parar de ligar para você, é fácil Janis: you think if I was in mild peril, I'd find the time to send you an emoji Caleb: knowing you, yeah Janis: proving once again how little you know me, father Caleb: none of this is funny or clever, do you know that? Janis: 💔 Janis: as long as it is, that was the deal was it Janis: try harder from here on out, I assure you Caleb: you are breaking your mother's heart so I wish you would Janis: 🙄 Caleb: this is what I mean Caleb: how is that a response to what I just said Janis: how's, 'even if that were true, I don't care', work for you then Caleb: it doesn't work Caleb: none of this works Janis: that's unfortunate for you Janis: probably should've listened before hitting 10 though Caleb: we aren't talking about my failings we're talking about you running away again Janis: same diff, eh padre Caleb: no Caleb: you chose to do this Caleb: & every response you've given me since then Janis: what we all choose, in the end Janis: better than what you're offering Caleb: what would you like me to do differently? Caleb: I could listen to your grandmother & send you to Brazil or you could give me an answer to a question Janis: ha, go on then Janis: why not form a panel of failed parents Janis: maybe you'll get it down for your grandkids, eh Caleb: I've made mistakes and I'm trying to learn from them Caleb: that's all I'm trying to get you to do Janis: fat lot of good that does her Janis: or any of us Janis: so no, you're alright Caleb: I did everything I could for her Caleb: & all of you Janis: well it's not good enough Janis: is it Caleb: I know that Janis: then fuck off Janis: I don't need or want your failed attempts Janis: or hers Caleb: I'm still your dad Caleb: so I can't Caleb: & I didn't when she wanted me to either Janis: yeah that pat on the back is well deserved Caleb: this anger isn't going to fuel you forever Caleb: it also can't Janis: watch me Janis: you reckon either of you is owed any forgiveness Janis: nah Janis: not from me Caleb: I'm not asking for your forgiveness Caleb: I'm asking you to stop putting yourself into unsafe situations Janis: send me Brazil then Janis: how long 'fore I'm dead in some favela Janis: 👍 class parenting, send 'em off, let them be fucked up out of sight Caleb: I'm doing my best Caleb: that's all I've ever done Janis: and what Janis: I don't owe you shit in return Janis: that's bare minimum and you fucked that up Caleb: I'm sorry Caleb: but you being right about what a bad dad I am doesn't mean you know everything or you can do as you please Caleb: the bare minimum you're meant to do is tell us where you are Janis: why, so you can do fuck all about it Janis: in a crack house be home when I need funds Caleb: because you're a child Caleb: maybe when you aren't you'll be bothered that your words have consequences Janis: never concerned you before Janis: 🤞 for you Caleb: it concerns me constantly Janis: what a drag Janis: probably shouldn't have had the kids Caleb: it's what I signed up for when I did have you all Janis: stop complaining to me then? Janis: love that new approach though Janis: guilt your kids for being born Caleb: you believe this is me complaining? Caleb: if you feel guilty because I care about you, you shouldn't Janis: I believe it annoys me all the same Janis: whatever this Janis: new failed attempt is Caleb: everything I do annoys you Caleb: you want me to hold onto that? Janis: whatever works for you Janis: I couldn't care less Caleb: the more you say it, the less power it has Janis: 💔 Janis: backatcha, man Caleb: just tell me or your ma where you are Janis: why Caleb: I've told you why Janis: no you haven't Janis: as per Janis: lots of chatting, saying fuck all Caleb: you're a child & it's the least we ask of you Janis: ha Janis: no then Caleb: so be it Caleb: I'll come looking for you then Janis: your idea of a hobby, not mine Janis: not like you're any good at it so excuse me for not trembling in my boots Caleb: that isn't the reaction I want Caleb: so it's all good with me when you don't Janis: well isn't that lovely Janis: so chill and so cool, phased by nothing Janis: amazed you could muster the energy to cry at her funeral Caleb: she was my daughter & I miss her every day Caleb: I hope being deliberately hurtful makes you feel better about things Janis: 👍 Janis: convincing Janis: so easy to miss, isn't it Janis: much easier than parenting Caleb: I did everything I could for her Caleb: I've already told you that Caleb: I'm sorry that isn't convincing you but it's the truth Janis: I'm sure you did Janis: like I said, fat lot of good it was Janis: doesn't matter how hard you tried, you failed Janis: get over it Caleb: yeah, I did fail Caleb: I'll never get over that Janis: yeah, again Janis: easy this bit Caleb: no, it isn't Janis: that's fucking tragic Janis: 😂 Caleb: You know where I am when you're ready to come home Caleb: Unless I find you before then Caleb: Please let your boyfriend know his dad has been to ours looking for him Janis: Whatever Janis: I don't plan on talking to you when I have to come back Caleb: you never plan on talking to me Caleb: talk to your mother Janis: ha, fuck off Janis: I'd sooner die Caleb: She'd love to hear you say that Janis: pass the message on if you're so inclined Caleb: I won't Janis: she'll have to stay 💔 then won't she Caleb: it appears so, yeah Caleb: that much is true of all of us Janis: awh, sad times Janis: sure there's someone 'round who don't know enough about you all yet Janis: get that last dose of sympathy Caleb: how little you think of me Caleb: I obviously should send you to spend some time with your grandmother, you'd be in good company Janis: glad you're catching on Janis: 'cept you lack the ability to send me anywhere Caleb: it isn't an illusive thread, Janis Caleb: you speak up loud & clear Caleb: I lack the ability to keep you here either, so what do I have to lose Janis: someone has to Janis: and only another kid Janis: not like that seems to bother you Janis: plenty more, oh wait, not really these days Caleb: if only you were educated on what you were speaking so loudly about Caleb: it doesn't seem to bother me because you don't wish to see that Janis: you're not the failed child prodigy, that shit ain't gonna fly Janis: but go off if you wanna bring up this families inability to communicate as if that ain't on you too 😂 Caleb: I'm here now trying to communicate with you Janis: where? Caleb: all you want to do is discuss how much of a failure I am as if it's never possible to do better Janis: and all you're doing is trying to tell me what to do Janis: too late, on both counts Janis: you're only doing that because school and Jimmys's dad are onto you Caleb: I'm doing it because I care about you & I'm worried Caleb: It hasn't been that long since the last time you left Caleb: I'm telling you to come home because it's not too late for you Caleb: nothing bad has happened Caleb: but you can't keep doing this & expecting that it won't Janis: oh so 'cos I'm not on hard drugs, I've got nothing to complain about Janis: ha Janis: A+ as usual Caleb: You can complain about anything you want, running away isn't the way to lodge it Caleb: It won't solve anything Janis: neither will you Janis: I have no interest telling you anything Janis: you've said it yourself and I knew it before you did Janis: you're useless Caleb: you don't have to tell me Caleb: there's plenty of people you can talk to Janis: no, there isn't Janis: the only person I can talk to is here Janis: so you see, I don't need you Janis: any of you Caleb: we still need you Caleb: you're still a part of this family Caleb: you always will be Caleb: you can't run from that Janis: life's unfair, ain't it Janis: give her more to cry about Caleb: life is what you make it Caleb: & we'll all be with you wherever you go Janis: sure, hippie Janis: then why'd you choose to make such a mess of yours? Caleb: I made mistakes Caleb: your dad is human, sorry you ever had to learn that, but that's the way it is Janis: I've never thought of you as anything more, don't flatter yourself Janis: 9 of 'em, right Janis: 10 if you count ma, 11 if you count getting back with her Janis: how much bad karma is that 🤔 Caleb: none of those things are what I'm counting as my mistakes Caleb: & I know what you think of me Caleb: like I said, you make yourself very clear Janis: you should try it Janis: people might respect you more Caleb: I've got enough bad karma coming my way without being hurtful for the sake of it Janis: 💔 Caleb: my heart's already broken so I won't worry about who may or may not respect me Janis: if you were worried, about anything, but respect specifically, then we wouldn't be here Caleb: if we're going to talk about possible what ifs that could have avoided us being here, I'll need to sit down & get more comfortable Janis: hardly Janis: it's simple Janis: if Edie had respected you as any kind of a father figure, she wouldn't have had to do what she did Janis: or, even easier, if Drew had of respected you as a person, he wouldn't have knocked up your missus Janis: crisis truly adverted Janis: but no Caleb: and now you don't & you're going to keep doing this Janis: this has nothing to do with you Janis: again, don't flatter yourself Caleb: if you say so Caleb: I love you Caleb: be safe Janis: are you serious Janis: you think you're remotely on my radar Caleb: apparently not Janis: you're so Janis: passive Janis: you may as well not be there Caleb: we can't both be aggressive Janis: you're incapable Caleb: no, I not Caleb: I choose not Janis: it's pathetic Janis: do you know what it's like to have a dad who you know couldn't stand up for you Caleb: I didn't have a dad so yeah Janis: better than a useless one Caleb: that's what you think Caleb: I would have preferred one who tried & was there Janis: well, this isn't about you Janis: shocking, I know Janis: if you weren't here, then she wouldn't have anything to complain about Janis: and you wouldn't get to harp on about how hard you tried as if you're fooling any of us Janis: we were there Janis: you did fuck all Caleb: you were there so you know that's not true Caleb: it's what you want to believe so you can blame me for what happened Janis: it is your fault Janis: and hers Janis: you don't get to exempt yourself 'cos he looks worse on paper Janis: you did nothing, nothing of use, you never have Caleb: it was an accident, it wasn't anyone's fault that she died Caleb: & everything can came before, what does blame even matter, it's not going to change anything or fix it Caleb: you can put it on me or your mother or Drew or Edie herself Caleb: it's not that simple & it's not going to make you feel any better Janis: oh that's nice for you Janis: who cares who's to blame Janis: she's only dead Janis: we'll all live and let live, can't change the past Janis: bullshit Janis: you're the one without a fucking clue Janis: it's not about me feeling better, it's about all of you feeling as bad as you should Janis: but you never fucking will so fuck the lot of you Caleb: nothing you've said or done can make me feel any worse Caleb: there's no worse pain than this, her death Caleb: you don't have a clue if you think otherwise Caleb: but we do all still have to live, somehow Caleb: so holding onto all of this is what's bullshit Caleb: you have to let it go, one day, you'll need to Janis: wow, great inspirational speech Janis: what parenting book did you rip that from Janis: you let go before she was gone Janis: that's facts Janis: I don't have to do jackshit you say Caleb: I never let go for a second Caleb: & I won't of you Caleb: so like I said, I love you, be safe Caleb: there's nothing more to say Janis: drop dead Caleb: one day Janis: helpful as always Caleb: I can only help you if you let me Janis: no, you can help me by dropping dead Caleb: that wouldn't help Janis: it would Caleb: how? Janis: wouldn't have to deal with you Janis: and what use are you alive Janis: we've already established you ain't Janis: mean of income, at best Caleb: there'd be someone to take my place though Caleb: you're not free simply because you're free of me Caleb: people still care Janis: know she's got history but bit low Janis: give yourself some credit Janis: she lasted this long without cheating on you Janis: again Caleb: don't talk about your ma like that Caleb: you weren't there for any of that & since you only believe what you want to for the things you witnessed Caleb: there's no room for you to speak on this Janis: say what I want Janis: especially as it's true Janis: know what they say, how you get 'em is how you'll lose 'em Caleb: I don't have to be here to listen to you Janis: ha Janis: then fuck off Janis: go on Janis: you can pretend you've been a parent Caleb: tchau 💚 Caleb: come home soon for your own sake Caleb: you should be in school Janis: tell me, how many of your children finished school? Janis: 😂 Janis: you're a fucking joke Caleb: have a good laugh & I'll see you soon Janis: no, you won't Caleb: how many times have I heard that from you? Caleb: as many as you've done this Caleb: if this is the exception, I'll believe it when it happens Janis: wow, so mature Janis: mock me for not ending up dead Janis: A++ Janis: this is why we all come to you Caleb: I'm acknowledging that you're a child with no means of supporting yourself & nowhere to go Caleb: that's what I mean when I say I know you'll be back home Caleb: everything is life or death with you Janis: love that Janis: hold that over us with the guilt of being born Janis: real old school Janis: because it is, and don't fucking challenge me, you'll be the only one to regret it Caleb: I'm holding nothing over you, you're weighing yourself down because you want to believe that's what I'm doing or saying Caleb: there's no challenge being issued either, I have no desire to see you prove anything of the sort Janis: no, what I want, is for you to fuck off Janis: you're a cunt, regardless of what I want or need Caleb: so let me go Caleb: I've said goodbye twice Janis: who's stopping you Janis: not me Janis: you're the one out here trying to best a 'child' by your own admission Janis: you self-righteous loser Caleb: you keep talking Caleb: so it is you Janis: to tell you to die Janis: it's not an invitation for conversation Janis: you are that desperate but come on Caleb: yeah it is Caleb: if you didn't want to keep this going, you'd stop Janis: no, I want you to know how much I hate you Janis: you're under the illusion you deserve sympathy Janis: and you need to know you deserve this, and everything else you've got Caleb: I knew all of that before this conversation began Janis: bye then Janis: ✌ Caleb: 💚

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