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doberbutts · 28 days

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The other thing I liked about Being Human (US) is that the core cast are all incredibly flawed and damaged people who still love each other at their core and genuinely want things to work even though they make spectacularly stupid choices at times along the way.

Aiden is incredibly easy to trigger due to his laundry list of past and present issues and when he's triggered he doesn't shut down or go quiet. He gets ANGRY. He gets *violent*. There was a joke between my friend and I when we watched over the summer and holidays that he was a big fan of using neck snaps to solve his problems but was startlingly bad at dealing with the fallout except by continuing to kill people to cover up his problems. When he fights with Josh he gets personal, he's so combative and confrontational, and he wears that prickly exterior whenever someone sees through the stone mask and pokes at a fleshy bit a little too hard.

But we also see Aiden break down and cry. We see him sobbing uncontrollably as he loses control again and again and again. Every time he manages to scrape together a bit of happiness before either he or someone else fucks it all up and it blows up in his face. He wants to stop. He doesn't want to hurt people anymore. And he can't figure out how to do it because it's like hurting people and driving them away or killing them is the only thing he really knows how to do.

So many times while watching I would yell "talk to your fucking friends asshole" and he would continue to either shut them out or get close but lose his nerve halfway through and remain silent. He wanted that connection very badly and simply couldn't make it happen. The few times he did open up to Josh or Sally he was well received, which I think was really a bright point in the writing because it showed the audience that the problem was that Aiden couldn't figure out how to be vulnerable due to [redacted plot things] rather than because his friends were jerks.

And overall I think that balanced well with Sally, who's various exploits *also* usually blew up in her face, and Josh, who oscillates wildly between "sad and more than a little afraid of himself" and "picks weird hills to die on because it's literally the only way he manages to feel any amount of control in his life". Josh and Sally both frequently vent about things to Aiden, but he almost never reciprocated until pretty close to the end of the series. He hides things from them, he dodges questions, he finds convenient excuses to not talk about stuff, even when they prod and pry to get something out of him.

He only explains after things hit the fan and everything goes to shit. Usually, because his friends have been there to catch him when he falls, and he has to tell them *something* about why there's so much blood on his hands (sometimes literally) yet again. And they get mad at him, but ultimately they forgive him, because fuck, a werewolf and a ghost aren't really in any place to judge now are they. Even then, it's not usually the whole truth.

(And it's interesting, in the what-if scenario where they weren't there to catch him as he fell, just how bad things got)

But then he's afraid he's going to lose Josh, and he's afraid he's going to lose Sally, and he's afraid he's going to die, and he goes to Josh, and he says "I'm scared, and I don't know what to do".

And Josh stops, and realizes that Aiden has never asked him for help, not really, and has never actually been vulnerable with him, and has always worn the brave and stoic face even as things are melting down at catastrophic levels. And he says, I'm here.

Aiden is such a bad victim and he makes some real stinkers of bad choices along the way but they make sense for his character once you learn about all the shit that's happened since he became a vampire and how fucked up things got for him before he realized he needed out. And he backslides and he backslides and he backslides but he keeps trying because what's the point if he doesn't at least try.

Anyway the hill I will die on is that this show would have done numbers on tumblr if it came out slightly later. Ah well.

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yandereloversworld · 1 year

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Platonic Yandere sundrop x gn! Reader

Trigger Warning: infantilisation, mention of abusive family, panic attacks, kidnapping

English is my second language, so I'm sorry for any mistakes that you may find in this text.

___

You were a staff member at Freddy Fazbear's Mega Pizzaplex and even though you were not working anywhere near the daycare you've had a very stressful week, which resulted in you having constant panic attacks, which would hit you at the most random of times. So, whenever you had one of those, you made it a habit to hide in the empty daycare until you calmed down enough to continue with your work.

Thankfully you were working at night where there were no children at the daycare. You didn't want to imagine the desaster, and embarrassment, it would cause if anyone would find you in your current state: impossibly red eyes with tears rolling down your face, while cradling yourself in a hidden corner of the daycare, trying to get your heavy breathing back under control, while trying at the same time to be as quiet as possible as to not allert any other staff that may decide to pass by.

While there wasn't much staff needed during the night, when the Pizzaplex was closed, there was an increase due to some technical problems with the animatronics. You were not sure what these technical problems were, but decided to ignore it for just now.

"Hello~? Are you okay little one? What are you doing here at this time?"

Wonderful. You wanted to sink in the ground. Why now? Now, when you still hadn't calmed down enough? You felt how your breathing started to increase again and knew that it just got worse. You slowly looked up, hoping that whoever found you would leave you be as soon as they knew what was going on with you, only to be surprised to find Sundrop, one of the two daycare attendants looming over you while looking at you with his signature smile, which slowly sunk and instead turned into a panicked Expression.

"Oh!! Are you crying?! DON'T CRY LITTLE ONE!! You wanna play Something? Playing makes everyone happy!! Or- maybe finger painting?!" You could now clearly hear the panic in his voice, and how desperately he tried to help you, sinking down to yor level, grabbing you and holding you safely against his cold, metallic chest.

While it wasn't really comfortable getting pressed against an animatronic's cold body, it felt surprisingly safe and calming to be held in a tight embrace by someone else. Before you knew it you had calmed yourself down enough to leave the embrace. Slowly trying to crawl out of his arms you realized, that his grip on you was slowly starting become a little too tight and that you couldn't get out. So instead you tried to convince the yellow animatronic to loose his hold on you. Reluctantly he did as you asked and let go of you, even though hesitant, as if he didn't really want to do so.

After a while of the two of you just sitting there, sundrop waiting for you to say Something, and you trying to think of a way of getting out of this awkward Situation, he asked you in a worried tone: "So little one... Why were you crying so much? Did you hurt yourself somewhere?" His words became faster towards the end, and he looked like he was ready to jump at you and run with you to the next available staff member any moment now.

You, on the other hand, were considering your options: On the one hand you could lie and tell him you were injured, which would probably result in him getting you out of the daycare, which would result in you leaving this awkward Situation faster as if you just told him what was bothering you. On the other hand you didn't want to let your coworkers see you with still very much red eyes, and a few drying tears, carried around the whole Pizzaplex by a panicked daycare animatronic. Plus, maybe talking with someone about your problems might help you with getting it off of your system.

Having made your decision you start venting your problems to him. How you had problems with your abusive family, how you left them only for them to find you and demand to live with you since you now had a good-paying job and how the money just wasn't enough for feeding your whole family AND you which resulted in you having not eaten in several days. How they still beated you up over every minor mistake you did and even if you weren't responsible and how you just couldn't leave them, since you couldn't stop working all of a sudden and they somehow befriended your landlord, resulting in him telling them whenever you tried something like leaving.

Sundrop listened unexpectedly calm during your whole monolog, especially for an animatronic that was known by the staff for acting hyperactive and unable to sit still for even a moment. When you finished, all he said was: "You're not going back to them! You're staying here where I know that You're safe!! If I had known how terrible it is outside the daycare I would have never let you leave all the times when you were here!! But everything is okay now, because papa sun and uncle moon are here now and we are going to take GOOD care of you!! Isn't that wonderful? You're here now with your true family!!! We are going to have so much FUN here together!!"

You just stared horrified and weirded out at the daycare attendant in whom you found comfort in only moments ago. With an awkward and bad feeling you tried to explain to him that you had to leave now, but he wasn't having any of that and instead just grabbed you and held you like a toddler while happily making his way to the main part of the daycare.

You just were confused and horriefied. What was HAPPENING to you? What would your life be like from now on?

___

So, how was it? I hope you liked this small piece of yandere Sundrop and if your currious on how sun and moon are going to be like, just ask me for a part two or headcannons or anything really and I start writing.

#yandere sundrop #yandere fnaf #yandere fnaf security breach #platonic yandere #platonic #yandere #sundrop #gn!reader

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pasta-in-the-pudding · 1 month

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Can you do a Insecure!Jeff the killer x reader??

-⭐

ℕ𝕠 𝕟𝕖𝕖𝕕 𝕥𝕠 𝕡𝕦𝕥 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕖𝕩𝕔𝕝𝕒𝕞𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟 𝕡𝕠𝕚𝕟𝕥, 𝕁𝕖𝕗𝕗 𝕓𝕖𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕚𝕟𝕤𝕖𝕔𝕦𝕣𝕖 𝕚𝕤 𝕡𝕣𝕖𝕥𝕥𝕪 𝕞𝕦𝕔𝕙 𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟 <///𝟛

ℂ𝕣𝕖𝕕𝕚𝕥𝕤 𝕥𝕠 𝕕𝕚𝕧𝕚𝕕𝕖𝕣 𝕘𝕠 𝕥𝕠 @𝕒𝕟𝕚𝕞𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕕𝕘𝕝𝕚𝕥𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕘𝕣𝕒𝕡𝕙𝕚𝕔𝕤-𝕟-𝕞𝕠𝕣𝕖!! 𝔾𝕠 𝕗𝕠𝕝𝕝𝕠𝕨 𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕞 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕤𝕦𝕡𝕡𝕠𝕣𝕥 𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕚𝕣 𝕨𝕠𝕣𝕜!

𝕋𝕙𝕒𝕟𝕜 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕤𝕠 𝕞𝕦𝕔𝕙 𝕗𝕠𝕣 𝕣𝕖𝕢𝕦𝕖𝕤𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕘!!

Insecure Jeff The Killer

Jeff is insecure about a lot tbh

His looks, his mental problems, his physical health problems, his personality

Basically everything

But it's not like it's super bad all the time

Most of the time, he's actually really confident in himself

"omg im so beautiful everyone loves me sm i'm so perfect"

Stages of how he handles insecurity depends on a lot of things

It depends on who he's around, what triggered the feeling, and his environment

At his best, he will just become a little more quiet than usual and shy away from people

At his worst, he can be completely covered head to toe, and if anyone looks at him for too long he could lash out into a fight (verbal or physical)

Once he gets to that point though, there's not really much you can do to help, you just have to let him ride it out and come out of his shell on his own time

You can however, help prevent his insecurities from getting to that point

His most common triggers are: people saying anything negative about his looks, mirrors if he's having a bad day, and sometimes even if you mention someone else that is visually appealing to you

It'll start out slow, and barely noticeable

He'll talk less and less, and try to back out of any conversations

When it starts to amp up, he will put on a face mask to cover his scars

If you see him do this, let him know how beautiful you think he is, and give him lots of extra kisses

After this, he will put on some sunglasses to cover his burn scars around his eyes

Once he's done this, he will likely put his hood up too

At this point, it's starting to get really bad

The best way to help him is to take him somewhere spacious, yet private

And if you do that, he will slowly begin to remove his coverings

It goes twice as fast if you just sit and hold him, allow him to vent his frustrations to you

However, if you don't manage to catch any of the signs that he is beginning to spiral, then god help you

Jeff already has explosive anger issues, but his insecurity on top of that makes his mental state like a five year old with a loaded gun

You will think everything is fine, when all of a sudden you hear a loud "BANG" and the sound of Jeff yelling at someone

When you and other residents rush over to see what's happening, he will be in a full on fight with the poor soul that looked at him for too long

He won't stop on his own until said person is dead, because in his brain, they have something against him specifically and the threat needs to be eliminated

It will take Tim, E.J and Brian to finally pull him off of the person and get him away

E.J goes to take care of the person that was beat up and the other two carry him to a solitary room where he will be locked in until he calms down

Not even you are allowed to go in when his mental state is this fragile, because while he does love you more than anything, he's in a blacked out sort of state and won't recognize that you're just trying to help

Once you are allowed to see him though, he will either cling onto you for dear life, rambling about how stupid he is and how he should've just backed off

Or alternatively, he will completely self isolate from everyone, not allowing anyone to get too close

And if anyone does get close, he punches the nearest wall as a "warning" and storms off

Moral of the story, make sure to stroke his ego every now and then so we don't end up with dead residents

#creepypasta #slender mansion #creepypasta x y/n #creepypasta x you #creepypasta x female reader #jeff the killer #jeffery woods #jeff the killer x reader #jeff the killer headcanons #jeff the killer creepypasta #jeff the killer x y/n #jeff the killer x you #jeff woods #⭐ anon

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poohsources · 8 months

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Hello, I hope this is okay to send here. I wasn't sure of another place to ask for advice. I apologize in advance if this is a bother.

Do you have any advice on getting out of the comparison trap and feeling rejected? I've had my blog around for a few months now and I've been doing my best to engage, but I get pushed to the side a lot. I know the comparison trap is ridiculous too, but a lot of the people I follow have high activity and I'm feeling dumb things, like the rejection and feeling lonely. I'm trying to break out of these thoughts, but it's been pretty hard.

Even if you don't have any advice, do you have some encouraging/positive words to share? I could use some kind of pick-me-up, if you can.

hi there! first off, no message is ever a bother to me. you can always send me whatever you want — after all, i'm here to help with whatever you need. even if you just need to vent to someone, i'm always all ears ( i may not always be able to answer immediately, but if you need someone to listen i'm here ).

as someone who has a tendency to perfection and compares herself to others a lot, i know only too well where you are coming from. what helps me is to take a step back and try to look at it from a more "distant" perspective. try to be proud of the things you do. maybe there's a certain thread or ongoing plot you're really excited about; something you feel greatly accomplished in. doesn't even have to be related to tumblr or writing — sometimes how we currently feel in our life can have a big influence on how we feel about being here. so if there's something going on in your life that makes you happy, take strength from that.

another thing, which admittedly, is easier said than done, is not to let it get to you too much. try to avoid what triggers these feelings ( if you know what it is ) and be appreciative of what you do have. there'll always be people others gravitate towards more but that's okay because in the same vein, there will be people that gravitate towards you. honestly, comparing yourself to others lies in our human nature, and more often than not it is linked to our own insecurities. but trying to overcome them by learning to love yourself for your skills can be one step forward.

roleplaying can be hard, especially because it's an evolving space where it can feel like things and people are moving on at different speeds at all times. but just know that many of us struggle with the same thing, we're all here to have fun and do what we love while writing silly things about characters we like with people who enjoy doing the same.

just remember that there's only one you and that there'll always be people who will love you for that. you will have your own personal spin on a character that no one else has and that alone is something to feel proud about.

#answered questions.#pooh helps.#( i feel like this post is kinda all over the place but i still hope this helps a little at least )

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eclaire-went-bam · 5 days

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i'm gonna post this here bcs initially i posted it to cf on instagram but frankly i have too many cfs who don't know i'm Disordered™ in this way LMAO

this isn't a super emotional vent & shouldn't have any triggers However it is a super annoyed one

i think i try too often to be "silly" scary & mean & Obviously i don't Actually Try to be either of those, i just like being annoying. i find i do this automatically with "friends" who aren't an ep — if everyone else leaves and i'm stuck with just an ep, i suddenly act like a normal person again LMAO

but anyways point is: in this act, i act really stupid on purpose. i act like a cartoon character. i'm a creature of Show✨. i often make subtle jokes abt murder & stuff that'd probably be seen as angsty teenager cringe. i tease people in a very well-meaning but annoying way. this is my persona that has been established in these circles. i want to make it clear, people do not get offended when i'm like this & when they do i make sure to ask about it & apologise bcs that's ~Healthy~ & at the end of the day they usually seem to really enjoy the way i act (some ppl actually seem to enjoy the attention from teasingly psychoanalysing them A Bit Too Much haha)

but SOMETIMES someone takes the act a bit too seriously?? thinking i'm actually Trying to be mean or threatening or whatevs??? & goes "ur gonna have to try harder than that!! it's not working!!!!" and i'm like okaaaayyyyy big boy

& then i actually do what they say & suddenly it hits a wound a bit too deep. just one single sentence.

this just happened 2 days ago & i get it but idk maybe don't get too proud when it's clear it's just fun&games (the same fun&games as Always) & then get shocked.

frankly, i will not feel bad

& i often don't even realise what is “too far” (it's either probably the autism or the low empathy + egocentrism = i wouldn't be hurt if someone said it to me, so why would others?) most times so maybe don't make it a competition bcz then my narc brain Will compete & then try to make me feel bad abt it

me when i'm in friend groups where i constantly intentionally do & say things so everyone thinks i'm stupid & then i act like i'm not for once ;;;

listen. i may not feel guilty for my actions. i may even think you're Unwise for making your ticks so obvious & then proceeding to act like they aren't. however i would greatly appreciate it if you didn't make it some competition that you can't be scared or offended when you very clearly Can Be, you just think you can't be by me bcs you think a cute little afab like wittle ole me is incapable. & then it all gets soooo awkward afterwards even when i try to apologise but they keep going on abt how it was Too Far and That Hurt & when they finally stop they're just awkwardly quiet until they leave

i can understand getting competitive like this & doing whatever necessary to "win" is not a healthy trait & is probably a result of x y & z npd stuff & yes i did feel very ugly when they started belittling me out of Nowhere but idkkk right now i'm just annoyedddd

usually if someone gets like that i have an ep w/ me who knows i'm a narc i can dm to tell them what i Wanted to say & they can laugh w me (sometimes just acting stupid with others but in the know with an ep makes the feeling go away without actually needing to risk doing anything toxic) but they weren't there this time </222

#npd vent #cluster b #cluster b things #npd #narcissistic personality disorder #bpd #borderline personality disorder #-> i dont have these but this might be a general cluster b shared experience kinda thing idk #hpd #histrionic personality disorder #aspd #antisocial personality disorder #long post #idk maybe

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lumine-no-hikari · 1 month

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Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #85

I've decided that today is a video game day. Specifically, I've decided that it is a Salt and Sanctuary day. I haven't played it in forever, and something about the weather today kind of makes me want to.

It's like that for me, sometimes, for whatever reason. The angle of the sunlight, the kinds of scents on the breeze or in the house, the relative humidity, the way the wind sounds as it moves… for whatever reason, when these things align in juuuuust the right way, I want to play certain video games. So for example, in the winter, the combination of the scent of the dust in the heater vents plus the scent of fresh clementines makes me want to play Fallout 3. Other combinations make me want to play Terraria, or Valheim, or Skyrim. I'm not really sure why this is the case.

Like I said before, I like to run around in this game world as Julian Devorak, from a game called The Arcana. It truly is a perfect little spot to stick him in. Julian is associated with crows, salt, plague, gold, booze, seafaring ships, and just a little bit of masochism. He's basically the epitome of the phrase "running with scissors", which is extra great, because in this game, a giant-ass pair of scissors is literally my weapon of choice, hahahaha! 🤣

His story is done and over with, and while it's wonderful because I know he's safe and happy in the end, it also means I don't get to see him anymore in any new scenarios. So sometimes, I try to recreate him in places he might like, and run around with him there. The world of Salt and Sanctuary is dangerous and scary, but don't worry - I am good at this game, and I hardly ever fall in combat anymore; he's in good hands, I promise.

That said though, I'm probably very rusty, because it has been a long time since last I've played with any kind of consistency. But I'll stream it today anyway, just in case you or anyone else wants to watch.

twitch_live

And, just in case you want to see what sorts of shenanigans I was once capable of when I wasn't rusty, here:

youtube

…I wish you were here. Just for a day, I wish you were here. I think maybe you could become good at a game like this. Or maybe, given everything you've been through before, you might find a game like this to be a bit too triggering and scary? I dunno; maybe Undertale or Deltarune would be more your speed. I can ask you about it, but it's not as though you can answer me, because given the nature of reality, it's not as though my question will ever reach you, will it? 😔

In Julian's story, he gets to have a happy ending because I get to be present as the main character and make choices that teach him that he is lovable and worthy, which influences the choices that he makes. If you treat him kindly and as though he is someone who matters and who deserves to feel good about himself, he turns away from his self-destructive and self-sacrificing tendencies in favor of better ones. Of course, if you don't make kind and loving choices with him, he will get a bad ending instead. I've never seen the bad ending with him, though. I don't think I want to.

You know? Even for the main antagonist, Lucio… he does a great many evil, horrible things many of which are arguably FAR worse than anything you've ever done, and for FAR flimsier reasons; in some timelines, his "eggs" are indeed "well and truly scrambled" (thank you for this phrase, @freelanceexorcist; I think it's gonna be one of my new favorites, hahaha~! 🤩), but if you make choices where you treat him as though he is worthy of compassion, he turns himself around, and he makes better, kinder, gentler, and more loving choices as you teach him that making mistakes and taking accountability for those mistakes doesn't mean that he is unlovable or unable to shift his life in a different direction. My choices made a difference in that fictional world because I could reach it, even if only in an abstract sense.

…You can't even begin to imagine what I would give up if it meant that I could reach you, even if just for a moment. Though I am aware of how it would likely end for me (you are VERY good at unaliving things with that blade of yours), I feel like trying is worth the risk. Besides, what else am I gonna do while derping around on this mossy wet rock that I call "home" anyway, aside from continue to endure the disgust that society at large seems to have for the nature of my existence? Maybe I can make a few people smile along the way, but in the grand scheme of things, I am insignificant - nothing more than an ephemeral blip in the sands of time; here one moment and gone the next, faster than the blink of an eye.

If I tried to reach you and failed in the most spectacularly permanent way, at least I'd have an opportunity for a short nap before the next time I'm cycled into a physical body, right? And hey, maybe it could even be the case that my next meat-mech isn't fundamentally flawed on a genetic level next time around; having proper connective tissue, eyes that actually work, and motor neurons that actually do their job properly would be REALLY FREAKING NICE, ya know?

Hey, Sephiroth? I don't know what sorts of stories in other realities that you might have access to from your spot at the Edge of Creation. But I hope that you'll take the time to examine some of the ones that are available in my world. I think you'd find a lot of them to be relatable as well as hopeful, because your circumstances aren't as unique as you think they are. You really aren't alone. I promise you that you're not alone. I promise you that you can belong anywhere you choose, no matter what form you take, no matter the composition of your body, no matter how horrible the memories you carry are, and no matter what conditioning you received during the course of your existence. You can belong. You can belong with people who don't have a rigid definition of what it means to be a "correct" human. So please try, okay? Please don't give up - not yet - not while there are still so many things you haven't done, and so people out here cheering for you to become whole and well again. You can do it; of course you can do it, because I am doing it, and you're a lot (a LOT!!!) stronger and smarter than I am. I believe in you.

Anyhoot. I made myself some tea and drank it. Here's a picture of how it looked; maybe you'll like the way the milk swirls in the jar:

I think it's time for me to Salt some Sanctuaries. Swing by and check it out if you have the time, ability, and inclination. And if not, that's okay too. There's absolutely no pressure.

I love you and I'll write again tomorrow. Please stay safe.

Your friend, Lumine

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thistlecatfics · 1 year

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I mean, *someone* has to ask you about Andromeda for the hp character therapy ask, right? Maybe after a few different 'milestones' in what we know of her life? (Loving these btw! <3)

Doshu!! I hope you know I’m answering these instead of working on a fic I’m gifting you lol.

Omg Andromeda.

So I really hate working with parents haha so I’m going to pick two pre-mother times and try not to totally lose myself in my answers

Just after she runs away -

I could see this going one of two ways-

First, the transition is just extremely overwhelming, and therapy is just focused on her adjustment to the muggle world. (definitely billing this as an adjustment disorder lol.) we’d do grounding skills, space for venting, validating her feelings around inadequacy when she doesn’t understand things and also utilizing a strength based approach focused on utilizing her strengths to adapt.

Also - assessing for alcohol use disorder, harm reduction around that, nonjudgmental support, potentially some motivational interviewing though it’s not so much my vibe, doing a lot of skill building in early sobriety to cope with the sheer amount of bad feelings she now has to endure

OR - she’s one of those people for whom as soon as they get out of their family (or any other abusive situation), they just need to verbally get it out. Each session would just be venting about a different family memory without a lot of feeling associated (beyond protective anger). She doesn’t want to talk about this stuff with Ted or with anyone else so therapy is that space.

In either case, I’d hope she’d stick to therapy long-term and actually get into the emotions behind those memories. (After she takes a break to have a baby - then it’s just more coping skills and venting time.)

Validating that she can still love her sisters (and Sirius), and that’s ok.

I headcanon her (obviously) as experiencing sexual abuse from both Cygnus and Bellatrix, and I would (totally not projecting here!) imagine it takes 5+ years for her to admit that in therapy. We spend a lot of time with just nonjudgmental support and then potentially doing EMDR with the core beliefs of I’m defective. (Young child Tonks is actually a major trigger, and that's a big reason she starts talking about it and feels moved to process it.)

Or, she’s a teenager and she’s sort of quietly acting out/breaking down and she’s made to go to therapy. (would her family ever make her go to therapy? Lol it’s a game of pretend.)

She does not trust me. Ever. Every adult is a potential spy of her parents, especially if they’re being paid by them.

We just do coping skills work, and she vents about schoolwork and academic pressure, and I think she’s not actually absorbing anything until one week she casually mentions she used 5 senses when she was overwhelmed and it “helped a bit” and then transitions quickly to talking about her potions essay. (I leave the session and do a little happy dance I’m so thrilled that she utilized something from therapy.)

(When I learn she ran away from her family because it's a public scandal, I’m over the moon and need to process my intense counter transference in supervision so I don't do something inappropriate like send her a congratulations/I'm so proud of you letter.)

Oops lost myself in the answers haha. no one is surprised.

#andromeda black #andromeda tonks #hp characters in therapy

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void-writing · 2 years

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I was in chapter 5 and I was like, somebody needs to tell Bruce or Batman to change his rule about metas. What about metas that are born in Gotham or have no other choice than to be there? Shouldn't they be allowed to stay if they want or need to? They're probably living in fear of the Bats. Then you tell here that the Bats will get powers and I'm cackling. Sorry Bats but you know the rules. No metas in Gotham!

Lol. Honestly, I'm choosing to think about Batman's "no metas in Gotham" rule as something that's really not a rule, but just something he said early on in his career in the heat of a moment that got taken as a rule. My interpretation of this is that Batman doesn't have a gripe with metas being in Gotham because they can crop up anywhere and have as much a right to live in Gotham as anyone else, but he dislikes it when he doesn't know who's meta and who isn't in Gotham.

It's why in chapter 2 I mentioned that the Bat Computer has a database for known metas in Gotham and a separate one for suspected metas. Batman likes to know things so he can plan for them and metas are often a variable that's hard to predict because every one is different. Goons with guns and other weapons are things Batman can deal with fairly easily, but a meta ability is a wild card whether the meta is a consenting party or not. It's a bit like knowing about medical history in an emergency. EMTs need to know allergies and existing medical conditions patients have so that they don't trigger one by mistake and know to look for things that might. The main difference is that a meta ability can have potentially disastrous consequences for everyone around them (depending on the ability, of course).

Though, since this is the DCU we're talking about, it's a bit more complicated because mind control and other forms of manipulation exist and being a meta in Gotham can be very dangerous for the meta. My knowledge of the DCU is fairly broad and spotty, but I imagine that it's fairly common for people with meta abilities to be pressured into heroics or villainy either deliberately or passively.

So the way I'm choosing to think about it is that most people think that Batman doesn't want metas in Gotham because of some vented frustration that got taken as a moral stance a long time ago, but in actuality, Gotham has a fairly robust meta population. Because think about it: most people believe that if you're a meta in Gotham and Batman finds out, he'll kick you out or something. In truth, he'll just ask about what you can do, what you intend to do (if anything), and provide resources for maintaining your ability as discreetly as possible and prevent that information from being leaked to harmful people. So really, any meta that's been in Gotham for a while knows that Batman has their back. He helps them stay hidden, because often the metas that choose to live in Gotham are ones who just want to be left alone to live their lives and what better place to blend in than the city with the hero who everyone thinks dislikes metas?

In summary, with regards to Change in Management, Batman's "no metas in Gotham" rule isn't actually a rule or something he himself believes, but something that he might have said a long time ago in frustration (likely to Superman for whatever reason) that took on a life of its own as an assumed policy of his. Instead of tackling the messy business trying to dispel that belief, Batman instead turned it into a smokescreen for metas who live in Gotham to get some goddamn peace by allowing them to essentially hide in plain sight.

Batman isn't ICE. He's an emergency responder on steroids who just wants to know if he needs to account for someone with laser eyes or some shit.

(sorry if that seems aggressive. im not ''yelling'' at anyone, just emphasizing my point)

#void answers #dc #dc x dp #my writing #batman #change in management #though the whole 'no metas in gotham' '''rule''' is definitely going to be challenged when the bats start sprouting powers #of course it kind of already was challenged when duke became the signal but whatever #people THINK that gotham's meta population is really tiny but it actually makes up almost a fourth lol (at least in CiM)

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ed-recovery-affirmations · 2 months

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Hey! Uh, I've been struggling with ED since my childhood, and I think I have it somewhat under control at this point (I'm 22), but the thoughts tend to get a lot worse real fast when I notice any kind of change happening to my body and/or when I'm stressed and/or feel disconnected from my body. Either I've put on some weight lately or I'm just bloated due to being stressed to hell and back and getting very little sleep in the past week (both due to a death in the family), the reason doesn't really matter because all my brain sees is that my cheekbones aren't as prominent as usual and my body doesn't seem as petite.

I keep thinking that if I have a square figure (I don't know if it's true, but in my mind whenever I put on weight it all goes to my waist and nowhere else and makes me look like a square instead of a hour glass), I can no longer wear feminine clothes and that they will look awful on me and everyone will laugh at me.

I was also raised with the idea that my body is one of the few things I have going for me and that there is a "right" way for a body to be, and that "correct" way is 90-60-90 proportions, so when I feel like I'm getting more squarish I also start thinking "Nobody will ever love me if they see me naked like this. They will think 'Oh. That looked way more ok dressed up. I don't want a rectangle for a partner, a woman is supposed to have killer curves and a thigh gap and be skinny with a completely flat stomach. What IS that? I'm out.' and they'll leave me and they'll tell everyone and then everyone will laugh at me whenever I go outside."

I think that my problems also tend to get worse when someone shows interest in me? Last year I had to break up with a guy because I relapsed when we started dating and it got worse and worse the longer our relationship lasted. When I am alone and nobody expects to see my body and I don't have to look at my body, I think it's generally better. But I am starting to date again now and I thought it would be fine because they also struggle with ED, so I thought that I wouldn't worry as much because I'd know that they know what it's like and I wouldn't feel like I have to perform some sort of ultra-skinny ultra-hourglass standard, but I guess that is not true. Because along with everything above I very much do feel like I need to be ultra-skinny and ultra-hourglass for them and am terrified of them possibly wanting to see me naked, especially so because as I said I have noticed a minor change in my body and now I'm convinced it's a huge change and a bad one. I haven't told them about any of this tho because I know that it's a deranged thing to think.

I'm honestly not sure about what I need/want from you. I guess any kind of affirmation or advice would be nice. And I'm sorry that this got so long.

Hi, anon, that's quite a vent you have there! I can tell you've been struggling with this stuff for quite some time. While I am choosing to answer this ask, I would like to put a gentle reminder not to put specific numbers, like weights, body measurements, calorie counts etc in posts as this can sometimes be triggering to others.

So my advice to you may be hard to follow, because of course you're going to want to body-check yourself if your body size has been seen as your best accomplishment, but constant body-checking is a compulsive behavior common in restrictive EDs. I would recommend you refrain from weighing yourself, and only look in the mirror as much as you need to brush your teeth, wash your face, check hair, makeup, clothes etc. If you catch yourself scrutinizing your appearance for weight changes, try to catch yourself. Ask yourself what you need to do in order to redirect to a healthier line of thinking. You identify that you have been taught to see your greatest worth in your body. Perhaps you could take this time to affirm to yourself your worth in other areas, or engage in an activity away from mirrors that helps you connect with yourself. That way you can be reconnected with a sense of your true worth. Don't be discouraged if it's hard at first, these things take time.

You especially need to practice giving yourself grace at times like these, when you are highly stressed out. Bodies change in life and that is a natural phenomenon, not a moral failing. Bodies are especially prone to change during these times of high stress. But you are a living human being who's recently had a loss in the family. You deserve gentleness and time to grieve, not pressure to make your body stay palatable during hard times.

Maybe it could be a good idea to step back from the idea of dating for a bit of time while you reconnect with yourself and your sense of worth. It's hard, I know, but I hope that one day you are able to find someone who you trust enough that you can have honest conversations about this, ideally prior to any bedroom activities. Someone you can talk to about what you need to feel worthy and desired by them. Someone will put effort into doing what you need them to do. There are so many people with different bodies in this world, some single, some in relationships, some in queerplatonic partnerships, but so many different people are finding out ways they can be loved in their bodies, and I hope you can be one of them. It will take time and practice and setbacks, so stay patient with yourself.

I also hope that you one day are able to build such confidence and respect for yourself that you would loudly kick anyone out of your bedroom who dared to tell you they disliked something about your body.

It's true, you can't always trust the influences around you to give you a healthy perspective on your worth outside your body shape. It sounds like that's something you've experienced in your life. Not everybody is going to be a positive influence, so it's up to you to be your own primary positive influence and look within yourself for points of personal worth when you start hear people bringing up your body.

Oh, and I recommend you keep writing. Sometimes it just helps to get it all out, and even gets some stuff processed in your head!

#ed cw #body checking #body image #self worth #self care #healing

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craycraybluejay · 3 months

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That last anon was uhhhhh very weird and mean to you. It's kinda funny how they use the word "symptoms"... Ah yes, symptoms. The one thing about illness that is completely under control of the ill. Their arguments were pretty garbage. Like saying that a cancer patient is economically abusive for requiring a lot of money for treatment.

Very weird of them, kinda think they were venting some trauma inappropriately and holding you responsible for some fucking reason.

-🦫

the funny thing is i too have trauma and yet don't attack random internet strangers over it lmao

but yeah it was so fucking out of nowhere. I *think* I can guess which post of mine ticked them off but the post was literally agreeing with them. With the fact that Cluster B Disorders are literally classified and diagnosed by unstable, toxic, and often abusive interpersonal patterns of behaviour. Same way any mental disorder is diagnosed; by a PATTERN OF BEHAVIOUR. And apparently they took that to mean that I think ADHD or something has the same symptoms as for example NPD even though I said literally the opposite. There is a reason we have these classifications and I know ALL TOO WELL what that anon was talking about regarding their trauma. But like. I'm not their therapist yk? It did actually tug at my heartstrings a bit because I do have a soft spot for rage fits out of misplaced Fear and whatnot about people not believing what happened to you and why. But like. Still deeply inappropriate. I'm not even mad at the anon really and I don't want to make fun of them either. I just hope they can get the help and support they need and maybe stay away from triggering themselves online before they're ready to calmly and accurately interpret posts and conversations about trauma-related topics.

In fact I myself stay far the fuck away from certain trauma triggers online even though I know I have a lot of light to shed on how it happens because it just isn't good for me. I will truly and legitimately block someone with even a blog colour theme that brings things back or a post even mentioning something that reminds me of what happened. Anon needs to take steps to heal with a private and stable support network and avoid triggers no matter how tempted they are to seek them out, because I know what that's like and it is actually very common with ptsd and c-ptsd. A lot of times people will consciously or subconsciously seek out triggers trying to find some sort of closure or vent their feelings; but all that giving into that urge does most of the time is make it harder to heal.

Mental illness symptoms being controllable is... a complicated subject. You CAN control them actually, at least some of them. For example I'm on the schizo spectrum. I cannot prevent hallucinations when they happen but I can have a plan of action so I don't freak anyone out or hurt anyone. Someone with NPD may have some kind of Ego Moment where they feel the need to assert that they are superior when they feel inferior but knowing about their disorder can actively decide not to do something potentially hurtful in the heat of the moment. Just like with physical illness, symptoms are manageable. Lots of physical ailments you cannot cure, but you can manage symptoms. Like the flu. You can't just. Unget the flu or "cure" it. Most of the time it passes on its own as long as you stay healthy. But what can you do? Treat and prevent symptoms. You can control symptoms and it is, unfortunately, your responsibility unless you are under someone else's care to control your own symptoms. If you are constantly ill and there is no cure, you must seek medicine if you want to feel better. If you have a mental illness and you find yourself struggling with yourself or others, you must seek support and figure out how to control and minimize the symptoms if you want to feel better. No one is obligated to be healthy but at the same time, you are responsible for your health no matter how unfair it is. Even if someone else injures you, they can pay settlement for hospital bills but YOU have to be the one to take meds and get treated. Same with mental illness. Mental illness literally cannot be your fault; it is usually genetic or from trauma. Guess what? It's still unfortunately your Responsibility to manage. A lot of people get stuck on where to place blame and expect the responsibility to go where they put the blame. But blame can go anywhere or nowhere and you will still be responsible for fixing what is wrong. The fact that I anger easy is not my FAULT. But it IS my responsibility to find safe and healthy ways to deal with that anger. Just because I'm not the one who made me angry does not give me the right to hit someone or start screaming my head off. Anyone who places too much weight on blame and treats symptoms as inevitable and unchangeable is liable to neglecting their responsibility to care for themselves.

#symptoms is specifically the one thing in illness you CAN control anon #usually not without help #and not ALL symptoms can be controlled-- specifically internal ones #i.e: you cannot control the internal symptom of envy but you can control the external symptom of breaking someone's things in a fit of rage #anon response #anyway #i hope my prev anon gets well needed support and takes some time off the web #and i hope that we all can take a little more responsibility #there are many things in life that are not our fault that we are responsible for #your life itself is not your fault and you are responsible for it once you reach age of majority #and in some ways sooner than that #your eating disorder because you were bullied? not your fault whatsoever #you are STILL responsible for getting help though #it isn't fair but it's the truth #i think a lot of people need to go back to the basics; responsibility; self-control; politeness; respect #we don't just need to teach this to children. we need for everyone to be taught again and again basic skills for how to interact with #with yourself and relationships and larger society

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n4talia-chaparro · 11 months

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Another question about the Krupp dummy: Does it haunt Krupp? Or is it like the Elf On A Shelf and just appears wherever?

Either one would be entertaining honestly

🫀|| ꒷꒦︶🧠︶︶꒷꒦︶∪∪︶꒷꒦︶︶🧠︶꒷꒦ ||🫀

Oh boy...speaking of it I kinda made some little fact about the dummy I guess..soo...uhhhh...

TW/TRIGGER WARNING: Mention of murder, etc cuz idfk what else to put.

꒷꒦︶︶︶꒷꒦︶∪∪︶꒷꒦︶︶︶꒷꒦

Well, it doesn't haunt Krupp anymore like it used to, because of that Krupp is the owner of his dummy. Even tho I'm not sure if Melvinborg was the one who brought it or Krupp himself.

However, the Krupp dummy moves and talks by itself as I said. Not only it would appear everywhere like an "Elf on a shelf" thing. He or it can attack the leaving hell out of someone and jumpscare the victim WHOEVER TOUCHES THE DUMMY WITHOUT PERMISSION.

and speaking of moving and stuff, its eyes can glow through the dark; you see remember when I said Krupp upgraded it and made it idk. Little different I think? Yeah, this is what I meant by this. Its eyes can glow brighter to see and detect ANYTHING.

Krupp's idea was to upgrade his dummy and change him a bit so he doesn't have to carry it all the time. And do you wanna know what's more cringy and disturbing? Him or it being a monitor inside of a dummy...

Yeah you see Krupp knows how to make inventions and things so he decided to build a mini robo-animatronic and try to insert that inside of the dummy but then he realized why does it need mental and robotic parts when he can also place organs inside to make it feel REAL. Yeeaahh....to make a long story short he killed a student for the first time....(and keep in mind it was one of Mr. Rected's students), Krupp wasn't sure where to hide the body until he decided to grab the victim's organs and connect them inside the dummy. Making sure that each organ is glued or connected properly and waited until it stops having a gross smell. Later on, he then used the electricity to give it energy (obviously it has the robot inside of it.) And stitched some parts of it. Fuck

🦷|| ꒷꒦︶🫁︶︶꒷꒦︶∪∪︶꒷꒦︶︶🫁︶꒷꒦ ||🦷

🫁|| ꒷꒦︶🦴︶︶꒷꒦︶∪∪︶꒷꒦︶︶🦴︶꒷꒦ ||🫁

•| The dummy was also used to supervise Melvin, just like a nanny cam except it has to spy on Melvin and see what he's doing and it can ALSO record anything (conversation, audio, etc). Because if Melvin does something fish behind his dad figure (Krupp), or sneaks things without his permission the dummy will make use to catch the kid in the act.

[AND FEW LITTLE POINTS ABOUT IT]

* It was originally used to torment Melvin if he keeps ignoring his demands. After few months he then decided to give it to Melvin so he doesn't feel lonely whenever Krupp goes to find his other victims. The dummy slowly became Melvin's comforting dummy cuz all the dummy does is talk randomly by itself and moves. [SPECIALLY BECAUSE THE DUMMY LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE KRUPP/ABUSIVE FATHER FIGURE]. Melvin would also take him everywhere in his backpack, doing a playdate with it and venting to it, not knowing it can record a personal vent and possibly the man himself is listening to it.🗿

* This little fella knows how to walk. No joke...it DOES. All thanks to the electricity he kinda started to learn new things (?)

꒷꒦︶︶︶꒷꒦︶∪∪︶꒷꒦︶︶︶꒷꒦

•| It's eyes can change from green to red. The red is supposed to represent the warning sign to the person who tries to carry it or get closer to it. If the victim tries to pick it up, the dummy will likely bite them and rip the skin off with its teeth. Mostly strangling them with a lasso or jumpscaring them. (Who knows seriously)

•| The dummy MUST ALWAYS be inside of its own box or somewhere hidden to not let it escape from its place. It would sneak out and sit somewhere like it does.

꒷꒦︶︶︶꒷꒦︶∪∪︶꒷꒦︶︶︶꒷꒦

[Took inspiration from the "Tattle Turtle 200", child's plays, maybe some silly-ass abandoned animatronic as a reference to convince that together. Pls don't play the fnaf theme I'm begging you-]

So uhh yeah...hopefully I don't scare no one in here cuz half of the info was supposed to describe how sick gp!Krupp can be in this AU- yikes..😬

#captain underpants #the epic tales of captain underpants #captain underpants au #cu tbgdotgp au #gp!krupp #benjamin krupp #melvin sneedly #tw organs #tw mention of killing #tw death #answered asks #au ask blog #asks #cu au #asked and answered #answered questions

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oh-mother-fucket · 20 days

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WELCOME TO UHHH THE CLOWN CAR

-> the owner of this blog is a system! and some of the fictives in this system have their own blogs! they'll be listed at the bottom of this post, along with some of the sideblogs that are run by the host.

ABOUT ME:

I love to collect pronouns! My current favorite pair are it/its, but it's okay to refer to me with binary pronouns, they/them pronouns, neopronouns, or nounself pronouns!

I go by a few names, all related to the characters I kin! My names, in order of most preffered, include:

>>Davekansprite >>Fefetasprite >>Sheriff >>Sollux >>Tricky >>Peril

My system is called the Bullets in a BB Gun! You can refer to us collectively as BB if that's too much of a mouthful.

I have dyslexia! While I do absolutely exaggerate it in a lot of my posts, it still does very much affect the speed at which I write as I have to do a lot of spell-checking. Please be patient with me!

I often overreact to things, so please keep that in mind! If I ghost you, it's probably because you or something else has sent me into a spiral and I'm trying to distract myself/discuss it with a trusted friend. I am currently seeking therapy for this, so hopefully it won't be a forever problem!

If you have the slightest suspicion that something you write to me might be taken the wrong way-- add a tone tag! You don't have to add tone tags to all your posts, but if you're talking to me i'd prefer you to use tone tags when appropriate!

I suck at communication, and I'm currently trying to work on that! Don't be afraid to drop a dm if you want to chat. Bear in mind, though, I have a lot of anxiety and it may take a little while for me to work up the courage to respond to someone I don't know too well!

TAGS YOU MIGHT LIKE:

#==> <- my talk tag! all my original posts are tagged with this. #> davekansprite: write fanfiction <- my fandom writing tag! contains my fanfics and headcanons #> davekansprite: post your art <- my art tag!

TAGS YOU MIGHT WANT TO BLOCK:

#> davekansprite: rant. <- this is my ranting/venting tag, and it may have triggering content in it. i never post any need-to-know information, and some rants may be deleted after posting. #suggestive <- used for nsfw/nsfw-adjacent posts. mostly joke posts, if I ever seriously want to make/reblog serious nsfw content I'll make a seperate blog for it.

OTHER TAGS:

#> davekansprite: post a heads up <- a tag that you should probably pay attention to! i use this when i have something important to announce!

FICTIVE-RUN BLOGS:

Tricky's Blog: @clown--posting

OTHER BLOGS:

@system-owned-and-operated <- homestuck kin help account!

@a-really-shitty-crossover-fic <- work in progress! multifandom!

@posting-from-project-nexus <- madness combat roleplay blog!

@tinkerer-posting <- my in-character oc blog!

@q-bert-posting <- my in-character bert blog!

#pinned post #==>#> davekansprite: post a heads up

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snow-system-wol · 2 months

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Okay, there's a bit of a canon divergence that's been built into Snowverse from the very beginning.

For context, I'm going to put a very Low-Detail description of what happened onto this blog (since the fic explaining this is much dicier.) Still tw for implied SA and CSA.

(A bit of a disclaimer: I DO prefer not to expose S'ria to terrible things outside of canon during MSQ, that's already bad enough. However, this incident comes from a vent fic from someone else in the system -- that created two of S'ria's alters and led to S'ria becoming the SIOC he is now. Communal agreement that this stays canon because technically it came first.)

The divergence is that they never find the artist washed up on the beach and still don't have a way into the city. After a few weeks of Alphinaud and S'ria feeling like they're wasting each other's time, a request goes out for a dancer/bit of eye candy and the alter Rose snaps up the opportunity before anyone can think twice.

Rose quickly gets in over her head with their patron and retraumatizes the system

Menphina realizes S'ria will probably figure out what happened when he returns and she tells Alphinaud about the system so that he'll be better prepared

(Alphinaud does end up offering to sketch Dulia Chai in exchange for information on the city and their bond exists later same as canon)

S'ria returns to front around the point they leave the city, doesn't have memories of Eulmore but he can figure it out

Trying to sort through that mess triggered enough of a "making connections" avalanche to dump a bunch of childhood memories into his lap. While he already knew on some level, he was unprepared to remember any of that and has a bit of a two-day-long mental breakdown.

#snow-system #ffxiv-oc #ffxiv-reactions #s'ria 🌸❄️#let's just. clarify this mess real quick in a way that's less painful than the fic

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merge-conflict · 3 months

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Since you asked twice: 4, 61, & 66 for the fic writer asks :>

Heheh :3 (questions here)

4. Where do you find inspiration for new ideas?

I ask myself questions. The scope and number of questions depends on the idea. Am I looking to complete a next scene? Why don't I know what the character will do next? Do they need to make a decision, or does something need to motivation to move past an obstacle? Is their struggle internal or external at this moment? Are they at full capacity or are they tired or hurt and more likely to mess up or do something impulsive?

For fic ideas it's just that but broader. Usually I get a snippet of a scene or inspiration from some outside source- either my own life or some other story. Maybe I just think that two characters should meet, or be put in a situation where they have to fight. Maybe Johnny should punch Valentine in the face. Then I just work backwards from there- what kind of pressure would cause them to be angry at each other? If they have an argument can it be exacerbated by some vulnerability or just because they're having a bad day? Because something else happened and now they're on a hair trigger? What would cause them to fight instead of just walk away? And then just sort of reverse engineering the situation from there. It fails a fair amount of the time, but asking the questions themselves helps flesh things out to make it easier to work out ideas for those characters or any characters, so there's never anything lost through brainstorming.

Also honestly sometimes when I can't think of anything or I'm frustrated and want to vent or cry about it... I'll give myself a weird objective. Try a new POV. Keep it a certain length. Change tense. Write about someone without ever saying their name. It also doesn't always work, but concentrating on some new kind of goal often gets me out of the pit I've been languishing in even when it fails.

61. Why do you continue writing fics?

I love doing it, and also I can't really control my brain when it comes up with stories. So they're going to be in my head anyway, and writing them down helps me develop them and enjoy them even more. Obviously I do love and enjoy the community part of writing fanfiction, and getting feedback and engagement. (Love it. Crave it. Don't we all?) But ultimately I just love doing character studies, and constructing scenes and making things. Sometimes I "write" for hours and get very little done but I really enjoy that time, and if that ever changed I wouldn't do it.

66. How do you deal with writing pressure (ie. pressure to update, negative comments, deadlines, etc.)?

I don't think any of those things worry me too much. I do feel bad for not updating regularly sometimes but I hardly do anything regularly. I could keep a habit for 3 months and drop it in 2 days for something new. If I don't like something I'm hitting the bricks. Honestly the biggest struggle I have is that period of time just before and just after sharing a story- it's like as soon as I hit post my self-confidence dives, and by that time I've usually reviewed my own writing so many times that it just looks like garbage. Similar to saying a word over and over until it becomes meaningless and annoying? It's kind of the worst. So far the only solution I've found is to leverage my adhd and distract myself until I'm out of the danger zone. I've also found the more I do it the easier it gets, like exposure therapy. The anxiety poison damage from posting gets a little less now that I know "How It Works (tm)".

I do often get stuck on something (a scene, etc.) but my writing process is really messy and so I will leverage having multiple projects and just sort of tool around through them until I find something I can make progress on. If I have motivation I have to follow it or I'll never do anything so just going with the flow and not getting too hung up on doing things In Order or finishing my writing veggies before my writing dessert. Having little to no executive function means that there are some things that I can't do without spending extra spoons and I'm alright with some comfortable chaos.

#ask game #not getting any feedback is more damaging to me than a negative comment #I haven't had pointed negative comments but I've had some people with backhanded compliments or just rude #I usually have to defend my work to people who are invested in making it go away #it's a form of enrichment. at least someone is reading my beautiful PDF so to speak #but to think something I made just gets no reaction at all is much more anxiety inducing #thus that initial Bad Brain I think #i'd rather have a debate with someone then launch my ship directly into the abyss y'know? I respect not everyone feels exactly the same way #but I do assume most folks also hate the No Engagement black hole. being ignored or overlooked is the ultimate ego destroyer lol

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imhereforscm · 1 year

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"This man"

Genre: comfort

Pairing: myself × Scorpio (self insert)

Warnings: daddy issues, family problems

A/N: Here I am with yet another self insert 😅 This one is something I wrote some months ago and due to something that happened today, I had to go back and read it again. I found this piece being really helpful for me and I wanted to publish it, because 1) it might help other people too 2) I kinda wanted to vent. (Although what happened today was far worse than what is written here, with an iconic line of my father "I don't want anything to do with her" towards me). Also, I've said this before and I'll say it again: Request anything you want! You're not triggering me at all and I'm being honest!

"Want an apple?" I asked, looking over at Scorpio laying beside me in my bed, the black covers draped across his body.

"Mhm." He hid his face in the pillow up to his nose, but the rosé adoring his ears gave him away. "Make it into one of... Those." His beautiful eyes narrowed and he casted his gaze somewhere else.

"I know." I leaned over and pressed a kiss to his temple, his soft hair grazing my lips and cheeks. I got up and yawned, still half asleep even though morning was far gone by now.

I walked by my desk and on top of a stack of book, my phone caught my attention. Its screen lit up and a series of letters formed a very familiar and dear nickname.

I smiled and picked up the phone, unplugging it from its charger as I did so. I dragged my thumb across the smooth screen and the visual button followed, answering the call.

I brought it to my ear and spoke, my voice still a little hoarse, since I hadn't spoken much yet. "Hi, mom." I said, my lips naturally forming a smile.

But it soon shattered and I felt as if my vision had darkened, my surroundings turning to cool, pale colours. "Hey, Vicky."

I swallowed thickly, my mouth drying at the sound of the voice that only sparked hatred in me.

"Vicky?"

"Is it about mom?" My tone was flat and monotonous, not slightly close to the sweet one from earlier.

"No, I just wanted to hear your voice."

I hanged up. With my hand holding the phone tightly, I placed it back down on the stack of books and placed my palms on the desk.

"Who was it?" Scorpio spoke from the bed.

I didn't respond. I closed my eyes and sighed through my nose. Anger, hate, sadness. All the terrible feelings tumbled out and I bit on my lip, trying to do something with my uncomfortable self.

I heard the bedsheets shuffling and then footsteps, which gradually came closer. Gentle fingers touched my shoulder and they momentarily froze.

Scorpio was not the best one in the field of comfort, but he wanted to help and I knew. His intentions were kind at heart, he just didn't know in which way to express them.

I didn't need to explain anything. He knew everything just by our faint contact earlier. He probably knew me better than my own self thanks to his power.

His hand rested on my shoulder and stayed steel for a while. He was still unsure of what to do, but I appreciated even his little awkward attempts.

The screen of my phone lit up again and this time, there was nothing under disguise. My... This man was trying to reach me, but this time he didn't use my mom's phone. He didn't try to disguise anything anymore. My heart tightened at the sight. I didn't want him. I didn't want anything from him in my life. I hated him. He abandoned me when I needed him most and treated my mother like nothing. He's arrogant and has never once admitted to a single mistake of his. Funny how he would tell I'm self centred, yet that's what he does himself. It was always easy for him to push the blame onto someone else.

Scorpio grabbed my right shoulder and pulled me, turning me around, so I would not longer face the desk. He wrapped a hand around my waist and hugged me close and I instinctively buried my face into his chest.

The feeling of his bare skin against my face was comforting and his scent enveloped me like a blanket, bringing me to tranquility and safety.

He placed a hand on my head and hesitantly, his fingertips started caressing my hair, which were a little messy.

I closed my eyes and hugged him back, allowing myself to forget about my phone. Maybe it was still showing this man's name. Maybe it wasn't. I didn't care to find out.

Scorpio's chin rested on top of my head and I heard him breathe. He hummed softly and began to rock me gently in his arms.

The vibrations of his humming and the beating of his heart joined their hands and sang in sync from within his chest and sternum.

I felt my mascles calming down and all the fearfully intense negativity from earlier had faded into a cloud of smoke, the dust of it being blown away by the wind.

Scorpio remained silent the entire time. He didn't really trust his vocal cords at this moment. They always got him in trouble and that was the last thing he desired right now. His hands went under my thighs and he picked me up with ease.

With my hands wrapped around his nape and my nose nuzzled into the base of his neck, he walked to the bed and he laid me down on it.

He got beside me and pulled me close, seemingly trying to be as gentle as possible. He tugged on the black blanket and covered us with it.

Underneath the covers we could see each other faintly by the limited light that slid in through the open end above our heads so we could breathe.

Both of our heads were laid on the same pillow and his lips were inches from mine. "I love you."

I smiled and reached out to run my fingers through his ebony hair. "I love you too." I moved my head forwards a little, our lips touching sweetly. "So much."

Between the darkness and the faint light, I could see his tiny smile spreading across his lips. "Vicky..." He spoke in a whisper, as if telling a secret just for the two of us.

"Yeah?" I breathed out the word.

He remained silent for a while, before finally speaking. "Nothing." Air left his nose, making a sound and his smile grew broader, his cheeks pushing at his eyes. "I just like the way your name feels when I say it."

#scm #star crossed myth #fanfic scm #scm fanfic #scm scorpio

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mxdarling · 2 years

Text

[Yandere type]

•❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅• •❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅•

ೃ⁀➷: summary: yuu's yandere type

ೃ⁀➷: Word count: 428

ೃ⁀➷: Reference/Inspiration: N/A

[note:] If there is anything else triggering here that I didn’t list in the warnings section, please tell me. I don’t condone this type of behavior, this is merely just for entertaining purposes and some sort of coping mechanism for me. If you continue to read beyond this point, ignoring my warnings, I am not responsible for your actions from here on out.

[Warnings:] manipulation, guilt-tripping, violence, yandere behavior, implied bullying, mentions of burning someone.

[GN reader]

♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ :Yuu;

✉ - [Manipulative, controlling, protective type.]

➮ It's a little difficult to write yuu as a yandere, since they don't have a solid personality in the game. But I think yuu would be protective over you, even if you do have magic. Being one of the few people yuu considers family comes with it's perks. Along with grim, yuu doesn't particularly like when someone steals your attention but lets it slide for the most part since they know you'll come back to them. Usually would try to stop grim from trying to burn the poor little nrc student but if someone tries to hurt, insult, or bully yuu's friend... They might just let them burn...

➮ Due to being magicless, yuu can't really protect you, so they use grim as a weapon to anyone to dare hurt, insult, or bully you. Yuu knows that grim has quite the attachment to them so they tend to use it a little too much. Making promises and compromise to make grim to their bidding but most of the time they'll let him do what he wants. Depending if you have magic or not, yuu will use slightly different tactics. For example if you do have magic, yuu will create this image of a magicless prefect who needs help, and will occasionally use guilt-tripping on you to make you do what they want. If you don't have magic, yuu will still make this image of a magicless prefect who needs help but won't use it as much as guilt-tripping, will guilt-trip you into letting you help them or vice versa let them help you since we're both magicless people might as well help each other, after all that's what friends do, right?

➮ Yuu can be a little blunt at times, but not to the point it would be considered rude. Yuu is just blunt when there is no need for sugarcoating. Just like grim, yuu craves for your praises and attention, it just feels so nice being acknowledge for what they are capable of. Unlike grim though, yuu won't cause trouble to get your attention, instead they will work for it, such as helping you study, help you with your homework, letting you vent, stuff like that. Like grim, yuu can be quite playful at times. Poking fun at grim for example, so expect some little teasing here and there. There is a chance that grim and yuu will team up and tease you. Will step in and stop grim if the teasing goes a little too far. Can have you crying because of what they said to you, no?

•❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅• •❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅•

[a/n; I'm so sorry, I didn't know what else to write for yuu o(TヘTo)]

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