#but i'm not going to try to invalidate others excitement

[always---wrong]

Okay, so I wanted to discuss the situation with Alastor, his canonical sexuality, and fans.

I have seen the two sides alot.

So one side ships Al with numerous characters and sees this as casual fun.

And the other thinks this is disrespectful cause he is ace, or Aroace.

(I believe that he is Aroace. His va said so, his character has shown no interest in romance, and Viv may have confirmed it at some point)

Now, I am sex repulsed ace and I'm aro. And I have strong opinions. Alastor is my favorite character in Hazbin Hotel, he is also the FIRST confirmed ace character I've seen. (This doesn't include subtly implied characters) Because Al is the first and I care for him he is very important to me.

My opinion is really mixed because on one side it's; yeah, it is a fandom, and fandoms ship. It's what they do. Its also kind a rude to judge someone for their favorite pairings and stuff, in my opinion.

On the other side though I'm hurt. I am a queer person with basically no rep. And I hadn't realized how upset I was by this until I saw discourse over this character. I had FORGOTTEN that it was possible to have confirmed canonical ace characters. I had gotten so used to that just being a head cannon. And not only just an ace character but also an Aroace character. And not just that but a seemingly non sex favorable ace character. I would even argue he is sex repulsed.

My real problem with all this is:

Yes, I KNOW ace characters can have sex. But do you know who else can? Literally every single allosexual character. I KNOW aros can date. But you know who else can? Everyone else. The appeal of ACTUALLY having characters with the same sexuality as me is that they would be like me. Cause I and other aces like me never, ever get stories like that. So many times in media I would be enjoying a character who had shown NO interest in sex/romance and would suddenly be partnered up with another just for the heck of it. This has happened SO many times it's not even funny. It's incredibly frustrating.

So, the point I'm trying to make is that; YES, there are aces who have sex. HOWEVER, a large number of us do not. And it's like everyone forgets that. Your not writing Alastor having sex with Angel cause your showing the vast spectrum of asexuality. Your most likely writing it cause it's sex between two hot characters. It's simply maddening.

(One thing I wanted to say was, despite the fact that Al is ace i don't think it's bad to find him attractive. He is very pleasing to look at so I understand allos finding him hot. However I'm not sure where I stand with people sexualizing him. I think I'm leaning towards, 'please don't do it'.)

Now, the worst thing though is when I'm looking for content to enjoy. When I found out Al was canonically ace I was so happy and excited. I'm pretty sure this situation wouldn't make me nearly as frustrated if it weren't for the overwhelming amount of sexual content for Al. Some would be fine. I could just scroll past it if this were the case. But it is not. Content for Al is MOSTLY sexual. That's why I don't believe people when they keep saying they aren't invalidating aces because almost every time I go looking for a fic I have to scroll for HOURS just to find few non ship fics.

I can't even use the Asexual Alastor tag because all that does is bring me to a bunch of fics where the author is like 'he's ace trust me,' then proceeds to write smut.

Why can't I even use a tag made for aces without being drowned in smut. It's so frustrating! Like I'm getting to a point where I wish the authors would stop using the tag and openly admit they made him not ace for the story. Like I know your trying to not throw away his canonical sexuality but I mean at this point I think it'd be better if you did. And if someone is going to write sex favorable ace Al then please leave it to the aces. I trust us to at least weave it into his character instead of stating it and acting like it's there when it's not.

So basically: I don't mind if you ship him, just don't say he's ace or Aroace if your neither of those in ship/smut content. I'm sick of trying to find content that isn't sex/romance in Aroace tags!

I don't want to judge people for liking a ship. But I'm really tired.

ON A DIFFERENT NOTE, I would love to see content with Al and Lucifer. Like them hating each other to like frenemies. It would be so funny.

Anyone have any platonic content with Al and the rest of the cast???

#aroace #alastor #hazbin hotel #asexual #aromantic #fandom

[vile-bestia]

why mizu is, in fact, not cis

Everyone is very angry at everyone about how to see or not see Mizu’s identity; being unable to shut up, and having fixated on the show a bit, i’m excited to finally join my first to-the-death-tumblr-discourse-battle.

I'm going to use mostly he/him for Mizu, but please read the premise below. Read the colored strings of text 😭

The main argument for Mizu being a woman is that which has as its basis the fact that cross-dressing is for Mizu an external need: for one, it is a need for protection from patriarchal bonds; secondly, it is a need for independence - Akemi’s story is one of independence as well, of feminine independence, and we have more than one woman pursuing such thing; we could go on with an analysis of brothels as a feminine space, but, alas - and thirdly, it is a need of obligation: Mizu needs to maintain the masculine identity in order to attain the object of his vow. 

I find, however, that while the argument stands as perfectly sound (and as canon) it isn’t exhaustive enough of the layered experience of gender in BES.

The trans coding is simply undeniable to me, whether it was intentional or not. I do not mean to say that Mizu is a binary trans man; that would be an approach as reductionist as confirming she is exclusively a woman. However, I find that some behaviours of Mizu’s are coded as dysphoric reactions.

Most of my justifications for this reasoning come from episodes 2, 5 and 8.

In episode 2,

Ringo is vowing to never reveal Mizu’s secret: “I’ll never tell anybody you’re a g-“; and as soon as he’s about to say girl, Mizu is just as ready to slice his throat. Mizu being worried about someone else hearing or witnessing the interaction doesn’t seem completely plausible to me: they’re alone in snowy woods, and, most likely, Mizu wouldn’t have confirmed time and again how readily he’d kill Ringo. 

Then comes episode 5,

which is in my opinion the most layered and the most exhaustive in regards to Mizu’s experience of gender, especially regarding his experience of the feminine. First and foremost, it tells the ultimate teaching: that gender isn’t but a performance, just as the gender roles are portrayed through theatre in the episode. As for the dysphoric reaction, it's the whole thing. Mizu is miserable even when we suppose that the marriage could be a relatively happy time. That's another reason why I suppose the puppet theatre tells Mizu's internal sense of self as well (see paragraph 4).

(And, about gender being performative, see how kabuki theatre was born in the Edo period and how, before being banned from acting, women cross-dressed to play male characters, and men cross-dressed to play female characters. See “professional transvestites” trained to be prostitutes, Kagema being trained from a young age to „act" like members of the other sex; see how by the beginning of the 18th century AFAB sex workers would try to figure out a way to set themselves apart from wakashu, creating an entirely new space for female crossdressers in the adult entertainment sphere; see ukiyo-e representations - chigo monogatari and yukiyo-zoshi literature; stories by Ihara Saikaku that are full of "transgender behaviours" and more)

Back to ep 5:

1. Theme of performance

The theme of performance, which also is the one of Mizu performing femininity for Mikio (in function of the well-being of Mizu’s mother), but being at once unable to suppress masculinity as the only space in which Mizu seems to be comfortable: e.g., it’s a little detail, but Mizu’s only good in the kitchen when cutting vegetables, because comfortable with blades, certainly not with cooking; again Mizu having to perform femininity is when he does makeup to “make-up”, to soften Mikio’s spirit, who feels invalidated by Mizu’s masculinity when it starts to interfere with his pride, and such other details; I even thought of the sword as a symbol for “learned” masculinity: the first time this thought occurred was when it was characterized by sensuality in the scene where the spouses spar: “Unsheathe it. Let me see your blade;” and I interpreted it as masculinity being the only space that allows intimacy as well; then comes the time where Mizu learns he does not need a sword to fight, meaning to me that she can embody masculinity without having to prove it to others. And then comes the reforging of the sword’s meteorite to include “impurities”, and the rite that Mizu performs. I assume that “a sword too pure” is the symbol of, again, learned hypermasculinity to appease patriarchal expectations, and is too pure because it’s Mizu rejecting part of himself, trying to exclude all “impurities”, whether they are being half white, or being half woman. Taigen himself is the one to tell Mizu he can fight without a sword (ep 7, but done in ep 3 or 4 and ep 6 already), and then the situation starts to bear sexual tension, which I directly link to the sensual connotation of the sparring cited earlier up. Possibly, this particular situation could also mean acceptance of Mizu's lack of a native "sword".

2. Gender roles

But a more sound consideration is (i would like to hope so) the one about the whole marriage being told through puppets, and the puppets themselves. While they are different characters, first of all we see an inversion of gender in the roles: at first Mizu is the Ronin because he performs a masculine role of protection, an “active” role; then, Mizu’s role is reversed in function of his marriage. We see Mizu surrendering (forcibly, being manipulated) to femininity as soon as his mother guilt-trips him into marrying, and the ronin puppet assumes a submissive pose, long before the role reversal.

3. A note:

it yet does not seem to me like the role reversal is, so to say, complete: even after the reversal, the narrator tells details about the ronin that are actually details about Mizu, e.g. when the two marry, and despite the positions of the puppets match the ones of the spouses, it is said that the ronin's loyalty is no more turned towards his "path of revenge," (Mizu's) "but to his bride" - in the perspective explained below, perhaps Mizu's own femininity. Also, i find Mizu might perceive Mikio as the bride, and himself as the husband - as an argument it can't stand alone, or it would bare no strength, but I will use it in correlation with the other points made, until now and later, to argue that Mizu thinks of himself as a guy.

4. Performance of Mizu's sides, assimilable to when she has the vision of killing his white side, shortly before facing the four fangs or whatever their name was

This, and one more tiny detail, bring me to think that not only do we talk about external roles, but about Mizu’s self-perception. I'm referring to when it is said that “for the first time in many years, the ronin felt the storm rage inside him.” The storm is a symbol belonging to Mizu (literally it occurs in the first 2 minutes of the episode), and it is explicit that it isn’t something that happens for the first time, but rather returns. By this point, the gender roles were reversed, and yet it seems to me like it isn’t anymore about the marriage itself, but rather about Mizu’s hatred for and slaughtering of his own femininity, and, of course, the experience of betrayal; with his family (especially his mother, see below), and with his femininity, which wasn’t enough to keep him comfortable or Mikio on his side. (...betrayal which is also about mizu himself betraying akemi, i'd add. Mizu is justified here, but it's important to note the parallels between the two timelines i guess?)

5. That random ass baby

There is, at a certain point, a situation of peace, which I think is represented when one of the puppets is holding a blue baby (supposedly a little ronin) in its arms. I want to suppose that the baby represents newborn love between Mizu and Mikio, before it all fell apart. But the love itself is a masculine love, as we see that it is based on masculine exchanges (fighting, doing fieldwork, taming horses, riding together, whatever) and, it seems to me, assimilable to homosexuality between samurai, which was widespread (insert something about Taigen here). Also Mikio wanted to marry a bro lmao. Aside from that, on the level of Mizu’s self-perception, it might represent comfortableness, a sort of congruence, or, rather, a compromise, that Mizu is able to live in, between natural masculinity and performed femininity - opening up to show vulnerability, love fragile as a creature that cannot defend itself, innocent, naive, trusting. 

6. About Mizu’s mother.

The puppet used for Mizu’s mother before the role reversal is the same that is supposedly used for Mizu after, but I latch onto a detail: the pattern on the puppet’s kimono is the same as the (real life) Mother’s kimono (see for example minute 12:30). I support this by noting the more obvious parallel between the blue worn by Mizu and the blue of the Ronin puppet, but at the same time I'm forced to note that after a certain point the mother has her own puppet. In any case, I see the mother and the feminine puppet wearing the same kimono as being about femininity, and about the mother’s betrayal of her child, rather than about Mizu herself. For one, manipulating him into marrying and abandoning the vow. But also we learn (ep 8) that the woman isn’t Mizu’s mother at all. One could discuss the reliability of Fowler’s statement, but I feel there are more clues regarding the mother’s betrayal: the episode starts with the Ronin, who feels the storm rage inside him at the killing of his lord (Mizu’s actual mother, perhaps) by the hands of a clan whose crest was the Phoenix (which I suppose are the white men, and the curse of whiteness for Mizu). I’ve thought about the four white men dealing guns (Fowler), flesh, opium (and I’m not sure what role “Violet” has in this, but I think they're the opium dealer), and thought that if Mizu’s “mother” was a substitute, the opium she smokes could point to Mizu’s potential father, perhaps even at the surrogate mother keeping contact, and at the surrogate’s betrayal at the same time. But it’s also true I watched the show while stoned, so I would dismiss this.

7. Onryo (note: characteristic in kabuki)

When the birth of the vengeful spirit occurs, I see very well how plausible it is to say that, actually, the rage that Mizu feels is feminine rage, and I agree with that. Mizu’s femininity is his rage, it is heavily related to the mother-daughter relationship, despite the fact that at a certain point the mother has her own puppet. At the same time, however, it is to me the result of the slaughtering of the performed femininity needed to respect the obligation (we remember the wedding was also to ensure the “surrogate” mother safety, especially financial, as well as to keep Mizu bound), just as accepting you’re able to fight with any tool puts an end to the compensatory movement by which you’re trying to prove masculinity to an observer (which, say, Taigen does as well, wanting to prove to Mizu he can beat him - plus, Taigen himself is the one to reassure Mizu on the complete unimportance of it, see how I read the sword symbol a few paragraphs earlier).

In this perspective, the "dye washing away from her kimono" to me means two things: that being what he is is inevitable, and that the feminine rage sets in; Mizu tries to make up for being a "demon", but in the end rejects the obligation towards his husband, and towards her mother; the pattern is not the same anymore, and Mizu is somehow more like his own person, returning on the path of vengeance, strengthened by the feminine, as the reforged sword will be strengthened by the very ritualistic yaki-ire.

--

Episode 8,

I feel, speaks instead for itself,  for the dysphoric reaction is to me extremely clear. Reacting that way to being called a Miss is not a cisgender reaction. You’ll tell me: it’s not a dysphoric reaction! It’s a reaction of disgust to being fetishized for being a woman! And that’s plausible, supported by the “you just keep getting better,” with clear sexual implication, except I think that is also a fundamental trans experience and one cannot limit the way they read the scene to an exclusively feminine experience.

In conclusion,

I don’t think it might be all boiled down Mizu being a masc woman, because of the trans coding. Mizu thinks of himself as a guy. If not a guy, not a woman either. You’ll tell me: “Of course she does, because she’s grown up that way; she was forced to sustain the lie to preserve her life! It's a matter of conditioning!” And while it is true that the initial context points towards crossdressing, and not inherent feelings of gender non conformity or transgenderism, I feel that if Mizu really felt like a woman, he wouldn’t have such exaggerated reactions, and I don’t think they come from his temperament either. And it is disproved that conditioning someone to have a different sexuality or gender identity works in any way - I doubt Edo period Japan or a particular protagonist would make an exception. "But Mizu herself tells Mikio she didn't want to be a man, she had to be one!" Yes, because it is true. But it points to crossdressing. If it were aimed to explain the whole of Mizu's experience of gender in her self, it would invalidate the entirety of episode 5.

In any case, even in situations where he couldn’t be discovered, Mizu does not allow feminine terms or titles, or tries as best to stop them from happening; plus, it’s rather obvious how difficult the relationship with his body is. 

While, once again, reading Mizu as a binary trans man is not enough, I feel like reading him as cisgender isn’t, either. As if, in any case, the feminine experience and the transmasculine one didn’t overlap in many aspects, also during the most tumultuous parts of transition, if pursued.

What is funniest above all is that the whole discourse is substantially useless. The layers of the show open to an infinite variety of interpretations, none of them fundamentally wrong. Mizu’s just quite literally Mizu. It’s a queer unlabeled thing and that’s it. If you take the Lacanian concept of the Real as the hole, properly uninteligible, surrounded by the Symbolic, you'll find that "Queer" is exquisitely representative of the Real, and therefore every label (the Symbolic) is reductive of the perceived experience (indeed the Real). The fundamental lesson about gender that you can derive from the show is that gender is a performative construct. What it pushes you to do is deconstruct your principles, especially if you are queer, since we are all entrapped in the modern western white need for strict labelling; that’s where this whole debate comes from, and it is, once again, pointless.

So, instead making fun of other people because of a set of pronouns, perhaps it would be better to imagine that more options can cohabit together, or that there is no need to label at all. Also be careful about accusing others of a complete lack of media literacy - you should thoroughly examine yours first.

Interesting articles i guess:

--

Algoso, Teresa A. "'Thoughts on Hermaphroditism': Miyatake Gaikotsu and the Convergence of the Sexes in Taishō Japan." The Journal of Asian Studies 65, no. 3 (2006): 555–573. Algoso, Teresa A. "Not Suitable as a Man? Conscription, Masculinity, and Hermaphroditism in Early Twentieth-Century Japan." Chap. 11 In Recreating Japanese Men, edited by Sabine Frühstück and Anne Walthall. Berkeley: University of California Press, 2011, 241–261. Mostow, Joshua S. “The Gender of Wakashu and the Grammar of Desire.” In Gender and Power in the Japanese Visual Field, edited by Joshua S. Mostow, Norman Bryson, and Maribeth Graybill. Honolulu: University of Hawai’i Press 2003, 49–70.

taken from this post asking about transgender men in the edo period: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/comments/p6x4jk/comment/h9ttgv4/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

As a final unrelated note, I haven’t seen anyone praise the MASTERFUL sound design 

bye 🪳🪳🪳🪳🪳

#blue eye samurai #bes #mizu blue eye samurai #queer #queer coding #trans coding #mizu #media analysis #mizu gender #mizu trans man #mizu transgender #in this essay i will #mizu trans #mizu bes #nonbinary #genderqueer #transgender character

[badchoicesworld]

Hello hello :)

I hope you're having a good day!

May I request Hobie and Spider-Noir with a s/o who cries a lot?

Not only out of sadness, but out of everything. They're happy? They cry. They're frustrated? They cry. It's just their body's natural reaction to any intense emotion. Even like, if they're listening to a song that itches their brain just right, boom, tears (talking of personal experience, me? Absolutely.)

I'm just kinda insecure about my crying habits lol, I need reassurance. (I cried to System Of A Down and Slipknot, send help)

Thank you and sending lotsa love :)

hobie brown and spider-noir with an s/o that cries a lot !

ok, first i wanna stress that you should never feel insecure about your natural bodily functions- ever. crying is completely natural and a normal way to express any type of feeling, so i hope you gain a little confidence in your ability to feel so strongly :] it’s a beautiful thing

second, you should check out demon slayer in you haven’t, there’s this character that always cries at everything and he’s the strongest ! gyomei my love

third, these are kinda short and i’m very sorry, i struggled w noir

separate scenarios

warnings: crying ?? insecurity ?

pairing: hobie brown x gn!reader, spider-noir x gn!reader

requests: refer to this bad boy

★⋆ ⋆☆⋆ ☠︎︎ ⋆☆⋆⋆★✧

i bet hobie’s one of them guys that gives out great advice about mental health or just in general and doesn’t take his own advice

he’s too cool to cry, he claims

but suddenly it’s not cool for everyone else to NOT cry

also uses common sense and figures that crying is a completely natural reaction when you feel any type of emotion, won’t be embarrassed by you if you start bawling your eyes out in public if you happen to feel happy to be spending time together

he just smiles and rubs your back, shaking his head but in a playful way since this is a common occurrence

does one of those side hug things where he hooks his arm around your neck and squeezes you to his side a few times, talking about “let it out”

it’s nice in a way, he knows that you’re crying cause you’re happy to be spending time with him

he’s close buddies with pav who i can also see crying at a lot of things, man’s not judgemental

and he can of course understand crying at sad things ! if you two are kicked back one day and you’re violently bawling at a movie that’s meant to be a tear jerker, he’s not gonna shame you

he’s probably thinking about how accomplished the movie directors must be/feel while simultaneously shaming the big company who produced it

it’s nothing new and he’d rather not address it directly by asking you each time if you’re okay when you cry, he imagined it would get irritating and make you feel like it’s wrong

so he probably does something to show he’s there, an arm around your shoulder, maybe he ruffles your hair or something if you’re excited crying (i do this w my special interests, there’s no shame)

overall, hobie just wants you to feel comfortable enough to cry at all- this stuff should be normalised after all, no reason to even justify it to begin with

he may even encourage you to cry, get it out your system

he definitely understands frustrated crying, i imagine he’s a man who’s had his fair share of frustrations and sometimes crying is the only way to cope

if it bothers you so much, he might try introducing you to other coping mechanisms that he personally does

encourages you to get into music, play an instrument, do something spontaneous with your appearance

if he ever catches you crying over one of his own creations, the man’s floored with this appreciation

the last fucking thing he’ll do is ever make you feel guilty for crying, he’s having none of that and he’ll silently scowl in such disgust at the people that do

it’s not cool to shame peoples emotions, no invalidation here

if he’s in the right mood and you’re crying for something, happily he might just hype you up honestly

go bestie go, cry your eyes out

noir

someone else who sees nothing wrong with crying- he admittedly associates it most with grief so definitively panics the first few times he sees you crying at anything

but explain how crying is your response to everything and he’ll relax

he’s probably envious of your ability to feel so strongly about everything, since he struggles to feel a thing

the man literally lets matches burn to his fingertips out of hopes of feeling anything

that being said, he doesn’t want you to think like you now get to feel ungrateful for your tendencies to cry at everything since he envies it- crying is still taxing as fuck and you’re entitled to your own functions, he just wished he could take a page or two from your book

nine times outta ten he will probably assume each time that you’re crying out of sadness, he’s horrible at reading the room

it’s a pretty instant reaction from him to ask what’s wrong and assume the worst, man’s is instantly ready to start a fight if you’re crying for something bad that’s happened

makes a really big deal out of hugging you and dramatically wrapping his coat around you before suspiciously listing all of your enemies

he’s more of a “cheer up, sport” kinda guy and is a lot more insistent about talking to him about your feelings

partly because he want to understand the feelings, mostly because he wants to help you

probably cites some old 30’s techniques on how to make your face less puffy after crying if it bothers you- a really bizarre remedy

he’s also heard some more modern techniques, like chewing gum when cutting onions

he assumes that works for crying as a whole

happy crying takes him some time to wrap around his head, but he’ll get it

it’s a little surprising to him at first that you cry at every little thing, but that’s okay

he cant imagine that he’ll ever get over that initial surprise, seeing you cry at all immediately catches his attention - he’ll eventually stop assuming it’s bad, but he does attempt to comfort you each time without fail

you could be crying in such joy and he’ll fail to read the room, strokes your head while talking to you like you’re a dog that’s just had their paw stepped on

thinks he’s helping an incredible amount, has a small ego boost when he does successfully comfort you

he really does embrace it instead of trying to avoid it, which he imagined would be arrogant anyway

he’s envious, overall

good for you for being so in touch with your emotions

★⋆ ⋆☆⋆ ☠︎︎ ⋆☆⋆⋆★✧

IM SORRY THIS KINDA SUCKS IM BAD AT CRYING

#across the spiderverse #spider man: across the spider verse #imagine #oneshot #headcanon #ask #hobie brown #atsv hobie #hobie spiderverse #hobie brown x gn!reader #hobie x gn!reader #gn reader #spider noir #spider noir x reader #spider ​noir x gn!reader

[dana-chan-the-control-brain]

See, here's the thing, I am onboard with SolarxMoon. Their dynamic is the cutest within the Tsams/Tlaes that I have enjoyed. What I am not onboard, as an AroAce, is when you and your friends use your A-specs cards as some sort of gotcha. Yes, some A-specs can date either romantically or qpr, and they are used against us A-specs that are romance/sex-repulsed as some sort of invalidation of who we are. We are all too familiar with: "Well, this A-specs person dates. What's stopping you? You have no excuse." and "I like shipping and I'm A-specs, so..."

You and your friends got to understand why the way you worded things made you three seem aphobic to your own community. Adding on, celebrating that Moon is now questioning was another questionable move on your guys' part. A lot of A-specs Tsams fans found comfort in him being AroAce and being the representation for a group who has little to no representation at all in any sort of media. Imagine how it felt seeing people of your own community being happy that the one thing we had as a community is now being erased.

Just because you're part of the minority group doesn't mean you can't be -phobic to that very same group. Tons upon tons of LGBTQA+ infighting has proven this.

Okay.

I tried to go to bed.

But I couldn't after I got this message.

It got me really tossing and turning and thinking, truthfully.

So, maybe I haven't made myself clear in my initial posts.

But I am not saying or using A-spec cards as a "gotcha"

That is not my intention so let me make it abundantly clear what I am trying to say.

Solar and Moon are not real.

Even if Moon was ace, I would ship them Queerplatonically, and I still do right now.

I believe limiting characters on how they can be shipped is Acephobic. Because you are limiting options and narrowing the box of what the ace spectrum can be.

My experiences are not others experiences.

The reason why I personally was excited about Moon being questioning, is because my sexuality is very fluid.

I have identified as Bisexual, Queer, Dyke, Questioning, Demisexual, Grey and Fag.

As of now, I am experimenting with the term aroace and it seems to fit me for now. Will I change it in a few years? Perhaps. I'm not even sure on how much aroace I am. Probably more demi or grey spectrum.

But a fictional character, expressing need to change their sexual orientation because of differing circumstances, means a great deal to me. Because back then, folks thought 'the gays' we're just all 'born this way' or there is something wrong with us.

That if you were gay or ace or lesbian you were born that way and it's concrete and nothing you can do or say will say that.

Unless they literally beat or fucked it out of you. Which is just awful btw.

Nowadays, people experimenting with sexuality and labels is far more common.

To see it in characters in a silly little youtube show like Moon, and Lunar makes me really happy.

It tells me "yes you can change your mind. You can be whatever you want to be."

So when I say "I am on the ace spectrum and I ship this"

What I actually mean is:

"They are fictional characters and you are flexible to portray them in any level of ace that you want that you personally identify with. Because they are not real. They can be whatever level of ace you want."

I am allowing every single ace to express Moon at the level of aceness they feel comfortable with. Because he is not real. Where he lies on the spectrum is entirely up to you. Your fanart. Your fanworks.

Now. Did you need all my sexual identity history to know that.

Probably not.

But I had to let this all out here. Because I'm tired.

If this makes me Acephobic by saying that sexuality is flexible and labels can be changed and so can levels of the spectrum with experience.....

Then...

I don't know man.

I'm tired.

#personal #sexuality is flexible

[pinkandpurple360]

Trash Anon here:

I kind of feel bad for Stella's voice actor because how she describes Stella long before season 2 was announced that Stella had her own baggage and being a complex character in her own right only for that not to happen. Though this made me think of something:

Was Stella originally supposed to be completely different from the one we have now? Was there an outline for season 2 that was planned before Viv threw it away because it didn't fit her 'idea' of the show going forward and the reason Brandon stepped back from writing due to knowing that his idea of the show was pushed aside for this Wattpad fanfiction bullshit.

I'm only pounding none of this could not be true but now I wish we lived in a world where Brandon was the show runner and not Viv.

Absolutely, she rewrote season two, and probably the rest of the entire story, for her newfound otp. And the best she can do to sell it as romance is to have them abuse each other comedically and reference the stolitz non canon Instagrams via the horse hoody and blitzo saying “he comments on my photos”

They don’t deserve Georgie Leahy she’s just a doll. I guarantee whatever character they had planned before Viv came up with the stolas show was great. She’s an extremely talented LA showgirl, a VA, comedian, not to mention sweetheart to all the Stella fans. Only for her character to be reduced to the hate sink of the entire fandom. And you know how some stans go so far that they can’t separate a VA from a character, she’s probably received at least one nasty comment or message towards her, which makes me so sad for her. Little known fact that she and Brandon have done countless comic skits together and are friends. So…that’s weird. And it’s making me really excited for a Stella and Blitzo interaction. Ironically, the two characters are very similar.

It was around when Viv claims Brandon “handed (her) the reins” that the shows writing went from dark comedy with an occasional sad moment, to absolute utter “stolas is an uwu baby victim who is always correct and right and perfect” crap. And she started projecting onto him heavily, even though she really doesn’t seem like him.

They had to retcon everything, practically every single character, to make way for Stolas’ sob story. Stella is cardboard, Octavia is just impulsive and needs to cut her dad slack, fizz and Loona shill stolas constantly, Moxxie oh god Moxxie completely serves and revered stolas, and acts as his obedient minion always saying “yes your highness, of course your highness” Millie is there too I guess.

It’s clear as day, in LooLoo Land we have a heartbroken enraged woman. Her feelings aren’t invalidated, Stolas is too callous and spineless to even apologise properly, which is his flaw, and Octavia is more on her mothers side than his. As anyone would be.

In Stolas’ apology, he tried to say that he hasn’t been honest, that they weren’t in love, that she has always been (some type of quality that he doesn’t like). And it was always a two sided bickering between two people who aren’t afraid of each other, and didn’t always hate each other. Outside of the balcony scene in s2e1 this dynamic is the same. Only every word stolas says is taken as gospel.

Now he says “I’d be sorry if I’d hurt you but we both know I didn’t do that” which is gaslighting plain as day. When she hires an assassin, she says she wants the “cheating prick” dead. And in Western Energy it’s proven that this was an act of blind rage. She wasn’t thinking about the imp, or the money, only the betrayal and embarrassment. But having her throw a silly party (big fucking deal) and trying to slap him (bad thing she did, but isn’t it funny how stolas almost being slapped is awful with a full orchestral soundtrack, but moxxie and Millie almost dying trying to cover stolas’ ass is no biggie?) and stolas violating women, abusing and murdering imps, isn’t his fault. They brought it on themselves right?

#helluva boss #Stella

[pokenimagines]

I'm so excited for this event! Can I request “Mushrooms belong on everything and your opinion is invalid.” with Arven please? He's a cook right? I bet this would be hilarious~

Event Information | Prompts List 

SFW Arven: Mushroom Maniac

"Are you seriously putting mushrooms on your strawberry and cream sandwich?" Arven said with a look of disgust. You paused as you looked over at him with a smirk.

“Mushrooms belong on everything and your opinion is invalid.” You commented, placing the puffball mushroom slices on top of the strawberries. You knew it was gross; you weren't an idiot. Arven didn't know that though, and the look of disgust crossing his face was only fueling you.

"That's wrong on so many levels." He shook his head in disappointment. You snickered, grabbing the top piece of the bread and putting it on top. You then sliced it in half and offered him some.

"Don't knock it till you try it." You said, urging him to take the sandwich from you.

"I'd rather actually die then try that." He said, his face scrunching up as you pushed it closer to him.

"Come on, taste it. It's delightfully mushroomy." You couldn't help the snicker leaving you.

"You try it first." Arven said and you huffed. You brought the disgusting creation and took a big bite of it. The cream managed to disguise the taste just enough that you could tolerate it. You made sure to keep your face neutral before smiling and wiping the small amount of cream that got on your cheek off.

"Delicious and mushroomy. Your turn." You said, handing him the other half again. Arven groaned, taking it and then he took a big bite. He paused before turning around and spitting it out.

"That's disgusting." he groaned, hating the taste. They definitely didn't go together, no matter what you said.

"I know." You comment, taking another bite.

"...You knew?!"

•❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅• Thank you for reading! Please click on the links above if you want more information on the event or the prompts. Fun fact? Did you know we have a discord server? We have a brand new RP starting today as well! We have an announcement post about it, but you could also just go to the server and see for yourself!

#Pokemon Scarvio #Pokemon Scarlet #Pokemon Violet #Pokemon Scarlet and Violet #Pokemon Scarlet and Violet x Reader #Pokemon Scarlet x Reader #Pokemon Violet x Reader #Pokemon Scarvio x Reader #Arven x Reader #Arven #Pokemon Arven #Reader x Arven #Arven Fic #Arven Fanfic #Pokemon Arven x Reader

[nightcolorz]

I'm so sorry I don't mean to be rude or coming for you or anything but can I ask a question? Didn't you have a post about gender recently and you said the amc iwtv show was about gay MEN? So why are you tagging Louis art with female terms? Again, I'm so sorry, I just don't understand and I think I'm probably missing something. I'm trying to learn more about gender things but it's very confusing for me. Thank you for your time 💚

dont apologize anon ur not being rude! I'm not rlly sure how to explain this, I'm gonna try my best 😭 so sorry if this is only more confusing. At least the way I see it, AMC iwtv and the tvc books handle gender very differently. Tvc vampires r described as not rlly having genders bcus of there vampirism and lack of alignment with humanity and mortal concepts of the gender binary. The way Anne rice saw it was since their genitals no longer work they r no longer male or female and so since they r so disconnected from the societal expectations around gender along with this bcus of how gender roles r always changing and vampires r outside of time, they r essentially gender neutral. The amc show (at least of now) doesn't seem to be going this route, although it does play around with gender norms and stuff, the vampires do seem to be cis men essentially (obvs ppl can have there head cannons and my read doesn't invalidate any trans reads of AMC iwtv that exist). But since they do just have cis normative sex with each other, vampirism doesn't rlly change there sexualities or gender expression, and they do identify and present gender the way gay men would, I don't see the amc vamps as particularly gender less the way the tvc vamps r. I made a post about this B4 that summarizes my thoughts much better then this or the post ur referring to (which was kinda crap which is why I deleted it 😭).

But anyways, I call Louis she/her pronouns on art (specifically Kate @loelett art love u babe) bcus Kate and I rlly like this aspect of the books, and since we talk about the gender fluidity in tvc a lot we've started using she he and they pronouns interchangeably for the vamps (mostly Louis cus Louis is Kate's fav character so we talk about him the most lol). When I call Louis she/her pronouns or feminine terms it's not cuz I see him as a woman or perceive him as particularly feminine, it's more cuz I see him as genderless so using any pronouns for him is natural to me. I usually call Louis she her when I'm especially excited about him 😭 idk maybe bcus of the cultural association with she/her + feminity and softness/loveliness and affection (like the way u call a boat she/her y'know? Or a beloved car), or maybe bcus most of my close loved ones r women so using she her is natural when it comes to compliments and affectionate terms for me. Anyways I hope this makes sense or clears things up, tbh I am very surprised that ppl I'm not friends with even perceive my blog at all sometimes so I never considered how I may have been confusing ppl 😭

#Tvc #Asks

[crystalelemental]

"karnilla74: If anything, the Clefable thing makes Lillie be the one who comes across a childish. Like, why was she against it evolving? It's not even hers."

So! I talked to my wife about this, and everything I'm about to say is from her. But I think that's really it. It's not entirely that Lusamine is a different character that's bothersome. It's how that impacts Lillie.

Anime Lillie is delightful and I love her. Her big hangup is she can't touch Pokemon, due to a trauma she can't remember. Faba opened an Ultra Wormhole to bring out a beast for Lusamine to see (without her orders), and the Nihilego that came through grabbed Lillie and tried to take her into the wormhole. Silvally saved her, but the entire experience got blocked out and she's left with a fear of contact from Pokemon. Good stuff! That's actually pretty interesting.

Her relationship with Lusamine, however, is obnoxious. Because it's exactly what it sounds like: it paints Lillie as actually being childish.

The Clefairy thing is up for interpretation. Lusamine says "I was the one raising it," but it's not entirely clear if it's hers or just the family Pokemon. Lillie has it in their old photo, so it might be like a pet dog and like...okay you can't evolve the family dog but like trading it for a different breed you liked better that the kids didn't. That kind of neglect. But the rest? Lusamine will excitedly proclaim how proud she is of her baby girl, and Lillie gets huffy because "Mom, you're embarrassing me, I'm not a child!" Lusamine gets pulled into business calls, and Lillie snaps that Lusamine must not care about her, which is understandable from the child's perspective but also the plot of like every family-focused movie from the 90s.

But the way the anime frames things does tend to point to Lillie being in the wrong, or at least being over-dramatic about it. It at least never invalidates her feelings on the matter, but it sure doesn't take them seriously. Like, the episode with the Ditto? Lillie's getting irritated with her mom for not spending time with them herself and being busy with work, as literally everyone around her is like "Wow Lillie, your mom is so cool," and ending on this kind of knowing look like "See? Isn't she being a good mom still? Aren't you being too harsh?" That is a huge 180 from the games' presentation of Lillie.

To make matters worse, the callouts that are referenced in that other post? Don't matter. I haven't reached the episode, but we know Lillie's going to have her callout toward Lusamine when they get back to Ultra Space. Guaranteed. And it won't have a fraction of the weight of the callout in the games, because Lillie has been doing this the entire time. As much as the anime keeps trying to tell Lillie it's her responsibility to talk to her mom about how she's feeling, going so far as to even have Burnet pass on that advice, she already does. Lillie has been telling her mother how she feels constantly. I don't like being treated like a kid, I don't like that you're spending all your time working. It's not point for point in those words, but Lillie is very clear even as she's snappy about it. Don't treat me like a kid and call me your baby in front of my friends. Don't bother calling me if you're going to work the whole time instead of talk. Lillie is very clear, but the anime wants to treat it like this is just missed communication because Lillie hasn't made herself known. And it's...jarring.

(my words now) Because it all comes back to making Lusamine more palatable. That's all this is about. A bunch of dudebros got really excited about her design being conventionally pretty, and when she was shown to just be intense and abuse with little redeeming about her, got mad she wasn't their waifu. So you get USUM turning down the evil and pivoting more directly into "grieving widower trying to protect her kids," and the anime going for quirky playful childish Lusamine whose flaws are so tame it's literally the plot of every show and movie for kids that tries to show a strained parent/child dynamic. It's the most flaccid, easily-digestible interpretation you can provide. It risks nothing, and as a result, says nothing. But also has the audacity to present this in a way where Lillie's...kinda just in the wrong. And literally everyone knows it. Because even children are aware that work is a priority, and that not having money means things get worse. Lillie's not unaware of this either. If pressed, she gives the usual "I know she's really busy and her work is important, I just wish" etc etc. She knows. And it's presented that way because anything more extreme makes Lusamine unlikable, or at least un-waifuable. And from the marketing perspective, that's just as bad.

I bitch about USUM every time it comes up, but I can't deny its success at roping that demographic in. People really do just want to be presented with a lady character that's, at worst, misdirected. Anything beyond that is bad writing and she's just horrible for its own sake, no need to delve into this any further no sir. It's just a shame that writers so rarely present us with well-written and dynamic female characters, but at least we have a few goods ones in these completely generic, likeable girls whose worst flaw is being slightly misguided or too immature (This is sarcasm, I hate fandom).

#karnilla74 #lusamine #lillie

[nothing0fnothing]

heyo! i would just like to apologise on behalf of the NPD community for the idiots that are frothing at the mouth trying to claim that narc abuse isn't real. yeah, we get it, pwNPD ≠ abusive. doesnt mean you get to dictate how victims should view their trauma, much less make it seem invalid. pwNPD make things so much worse if they aren't grounded! do they seriously think pwNPD are cute little bunnies who just want validation? i myself am a pwNPD, and it is soo cringe omfg. all this so-called npd positivity sickens me. you're convincing pwNPD that their problematic attention-seeking behaviour is acceptable. if pre-aware me saw all those posts, i would've never sought to change my behaviour and seek a healthier source of supply. i admit, i was abusive. no BS. i literally took pleasure in others being scared of me, to the point i would bully my own sister to tears and gaslit her into thinking it was her fault. i was fucking 10. i needed that slap on the face to finally realise this was not how i was supposed to be. i got my help, i got the support i need, i'm trying to be a better person. now thats the type of positivity we need. i dont want people telling me that 'i just want to be acknowledged'. no, wanting to be acknowledged is normal. my desire was unhealthy and violent. i needed someone to beat me up and tell me not everything about me and that i shouldn't want to beat someone up for doing something better than me. Thanks for listening to my TedTalk! 😊 - 🩹

A super well considered and realistic view of what it means to be a narcissistic abuse denier and its roots in anti therapy/anti recovery rhetoric from the POV of a person who actually has NPD.

You're very right, to be a pwNPD and to argue that victims and survivors shouldn't have a community based on their shared experience of abuse because you feel personally victimised by the conversation is trying to dictate our recovery to us. It's attempting to invalidate our experience and its hella indicative of real life abusive behavior.

Thank you for sharing personal details of your own experience with NPD. I know it's hard, I know it's not fun for you and I'm sorry your safe spaces have been hijacked by wannabes and fakers pretending that to have this disorder is cool and edgy. You don't feel cool and edgy for having this disorder, because it's a real mental illness that effects your life daily, not a quirk you get to take off when you close the app and go into your life.

Support is out there for people with NPD or people who suspect they have it. It's not as fun or exciting to get help than it is to run a edgy tumblr blog that perpetuates further abuse and stigmatises people with NPD, but our mental health is our responsibility, and anti recovery and anti treatment narcissistic abuse denial blogs are just perpetrating further harm and stigma. The people who beleive in it will never get better, and it's sad, but you didn't fall into believing the narrative that NPD is untreatable. You got help though it was hard and you learned to be better.

I don't condone violence to correct bad behaviour, I don't think you needed to be hit to learn better. The desire to do better and be a good person is in all of us, and I hope you know that the decent human being you are today is thanks to your own hard work, your commitment to consistency in therapy, your strength to understand your disorder, not the time you were hit to learn better.

Thank you for your support, plaster emoji, I really appreciate it. Your Ted talk was an incredible read and I'd be pleased to hear from you again 💕

#narcissistic abuse #narcissistic personality disorder awareness #narcissism positivity #narcissism awareness #surviving narcissism #actually npd #npd awareness #narcissistic abuse is real #narcissism is not npd #therapy #mental health support

[traceyshortfilm]

Last night I had a conversation with a couple of friends, trying to explain to them how I've been wondering for several months now if I'm asexual. I felt like I had to explain every single reason why I do and they kept telling things like "maybe you just haven't found the right partner" , "maybe there are still some (other) things you could do in bed which don't involve penetration..." Or asking me Qs like: "but do you still masturbate, right?" And they didn't understand that aces can also masturbate.

The main question here is... Do you think I should continue getting myself into situations I know for sure are uncomfortable for me? Just for the sake of "finding out if I'm really ace". I think they're just invalidating my speech tbh. Maybe they don't believe in asexuality????

I'm so sorry that your friends weren't very understanding. I find that a lot of allosexual people see asexuality as a "problem"/"less fulfilling experience" and offer their perspective on fixing said "problem" or trying to find solutions to it. However - these "solutions" are made for allosexual people, not aces. Because your friends inherently see their personal experience as "correct", they may try and steer you in the direction that they, as allos, would find solutions in - "others things in bed without penetration" etc etc. I try not to assume any harm is meant by this, as it seems more like ignorance than maliciousness, but I also don't know your friend-group & dynamics. I totally feel your frustration in having to explain yourself, and have people always "devil's-advocate" you in conversation. I also pondered for many years whether I was ace or not, and had frustrating conversations as well.

Typically, if people have to *wonder * if they are something, 9 times out of 10 they are . Yes, it's perfectly normal for people to wonder things, and even allos at some point in their life might have wondered if they were ace. But the difference here is that you have pondered on this for months. You have had time to think about your experience and usually when people suspect they are ace, they never do so flippantly. If sexual attraction has never come naturally or easy to you, I think you very well may be ace. If asexual is the label that best aligns with how you feel, then you are asexual! I want you to know there is nothing wrong with using a label that fits you now, even if it changes later. Some lucky people find their label that perfectly describes them, and it never changes. But a lot of people go through a journey to find their truth & community. And that is a good thing! If you feel you are asexual, then you are. No one should invalidate that. You know yourself best and know your experience best. We have a video on our channel "How Can I Know If I'm Ace" - very simply put - if you don't typically experience sexual attraction, you are on the asexual spectrum, and by learning more about asexuality, can find the label that best fits you". Also, I'm not sure how open your friends are to learning about it, but they could do well to watch our Asexuality 101 series hahah!

Please don't put yourself in any uncomfortable situations - you know yourself better than anyone and you don't need to "find out" if you're "really asexual" or if "other alternatives" will work for you. Listen to your mind, body & spirit, and if your first reaction to situations is not excitement & attraction, then please don't force yourself to do anything. Your first reaction, your gut reaction is almost always right.

I know it's easier said than done, especially when coming from people whose opinions you hold in regard, but please don't let your friends make you think that: "yOu cAnT kNoCk iT tiLL yOu tRy iT". That's not true. I grew up around a lot of people who were experiencing sexual attraction & sexual feelings long before they ever had sex for the first time. So if they were able to know that they'd want & enjoy sex before trying it, how is you knowing you wouldn't want it before trying it any less valid? It's not.

I hope that in future conversations, your friends support you as any good friends would. Please know you always have community here in the asexual community and that you're not alone.

Long story short, if you feel asexual, then you really are asexual!

Sending so much love, care & support, thank you for sharing your story with me <3

#asks #asexuality #asexual #community #anon ask #lgbtqia #asexual community #acepride #asexual pride

[lavenoon]

Ahhh, I keep thinking of Double rejection Hatchling Robin and while I was doing the dishes my brain made a scenario in which after a while Dawn and Dusk have been visiting the lab where they now work way more often (which isn't necessarily often, excuses to do so would probably be pretty sparse, but for the top agents it's unusually often enough), so Sun is waiting in the outer room (or maybe even just outside) and overhears one of the technicians asking Robin how in the world they managed to befriend the grumpiest agents, and at first Robin wants to make a joke about being able to engineer situations to their liking, but then they pause, remembering the words that affected them so much in Dawn's initial snap, and with a sigh Robin responds they aren't friends really. Just understanding how to work better with each other is all.

The post in question, because it's been a couple days!

Below this are 2251 words. Enjoy <3

"which isn't necessarily often" - true, but I've decided Eclipse gets to indirectly save the day once again. Dawn already mentioned him, and saw that Robin recognizes the name, so the boys just. Start showing up at the lab, sneakily hidden away blueprints and flimsy excuses as they ask "Hey, Horizon sent us this, but it's uhhh not making sense to us and we wondered if you maybe knew?" or simple little repairs that they used to do at home they now specifically request Robin to do because "they're the only one we trust to put in the effort we expect"

This all of course after Dusk had his moment of apology, too - he stays on lookout, checking the lab for a day or two before he catches Robin on shift, asking them to talk. They're much more apprehensive, even after Dawn's apology, due to him being the "final nail" in their little coffin for their joy, and being asked by the star agent you know as grouchy at best to go somewhere more private to talk?

But they do take their break then, wary as they are, and Dusk ushers them not to a completely secluded place, but rather... The lobby, with just a few chairs and worn couches serving as a communal space, vending machines for drinks and snacks not too far away either. It's empty around this time of night though, so perfect, actually. There's multiple break areas like this on the different floors, and Robin wonders if he chose the one with the most escape routes on purpose. For whose comfort they aren't quite sure, because Dusk doesn't look particularly happy about the situation either

There's one or two agents passing through the entrance doors and startling at the sight of lab tech who looks supremely uncomfortable and star agent with a metaphorical storm cloud over his head, seated on a small couch together, and Robin almost considers fleeing the awkwardness. But then...

"Did it heal alright?"

"... I'm not an invalid. I stopped field work because I'm obviously not suited for it."

It's quite unfair that he looks so pained, so genuine when they're the one who had their excitement crushed.

"You are, though. I - I was scared, I let you get hurt, and instead of just being angry at myself I took that out on you. Dawn told me, about the lights. I'm sorry I didn't notice, I'm sorry you got hurt because of me, and I'm sorry I said things that aren't even true in the heat of the moment."

It's a lot. A lot he feels sorry for, but Robin is stuck on one thing.

"You're not taking the credit for my stab wound."

"What?"

"You're not taking credit for my stab wound. You were half the room away, and busy with your own fight."

Dusk is kind of - almost offended, really? He's trying to apologize, and they tell him he shouldn't?

"I told myself I'd watch out for you -"

"Which one is it, then?"

Still angry, Robin interrupts him. He falls silent, because he sees there's more to the superficial anger. They expect an answer he doesn't know how to give, because he doesn't understand the question. Robin elaborates without prompting, after waiting in vain for a few heavy moments.

"Which one is it. Am I actually a decent field agent, or am I the idiot who needs a babysitter?"

Oh. Oh.

That's an easy one, then.

"You're a good field agent who I didn't want to see hurt."

Robin looks away then, ducking their head, and it's also then that Dusk realizes that like this, he can actually see their whole face. He decides he likes that, even if the reason isn't ideal.

But one step at a time - and this was the first. After that the boys start showing up under the pretense of above mentioned scenarios, and Robin does humor them. They don't ask why the boys seem so insistent on making amends, their confidence still just barely existent.

It's after leaving from one of those impromptu visits that another lab tech asks Robin in a hushed voice about their peculiar friendships with the grumpy star agents - most field agents don't even wanna work with them, so how did they get so close?

Robin first cracks a smile, a spark of their old enthusiasm breaking through, but then it falls.

"We're, uh, not friends. I don't think - I mean, I'm barely - I don't know. They did make the 'not friends' part clear though."

However, dear Dawn was still on his way out - and it seems that both that lab tech and Robin either forgot or weren't aware that they're equipped with sensors for auditory input more sensitive than human ears. He clicks the door shut softly, hopefully not alerting the two inside, and leaves for his office.

Not that he gets any paperwork done. Instead, he keeps thinking about what Robin said, and wonders just why it bothers him so much. Objectively, he wasn't wrong back then, even if it was harsher than necessary and irrelevant to the conversation. They're secret agents, they shouldn't be friends, even the continued visits are already toeing the line of what is appropriate and what isn't. It makes him think just why they stick to the rules so much.

"That's lonely."

It is.

He goes home, and shoots Eclipse a text, too - something harmless, but brotherly snarky, like "Hope you didn't set the lab on fire today. Wait, amendment. Hope you didn't set the lab on fire too often today." (Eclipse, far away, is certainly surprised, and maybe confused - but he jumps on the chance to make fun of his brother right back. Not too much though, just in case. It's rare enough that one of them is the one to initiate a conversation.)

With the next switch, Sun asks Moon point blank - are they trying to befriend Robin? Moon, confused, forever soft, replies with "Aren't we already friends?"

Leads to a very awkward moment when Sun has to explain that welllll, he might have made things even harder for the two of them. He only escapes Moon's throttling on account of sharing a body.

But they hatch a plan, and promptly set it into motion.

The next time Dusk catches Robin, he asks them, obviously enough to earn him a curious look but innocent enough to get an honest reply, "Would you like to work in the field again?"

"I don't know. I guess? Maybe some day again? Pretty sure the higher ups are already getting annoyed by me, anyway - shouldn't draw even more negative attention by asking to switch again."

Dusk just hums, eyes narrowing just slightly at their back at the rather unfortunate discrepancy between reality and their perception. If their plan didn't cover it, he would address it right then and there.

Like this, he redirects back towards their current work with a smooth "Testing these out in the field is quite fun, I think you should try it some time." He gets a full happy infodump on the newest gadget they're working on, and he's glad that their spark is growing again. Both Sun and him will do their best to keep it that way.

Following that, they both start namedropping Robin in reports, slyly suggesting their ideas are inspired by first hand field experience, and the "perhaps they should earn more" is strongly implied.

Dawn in particular, still the more talkative of the two, lets their name slip a few times when directly talking to a supervisor, often in the same "breath" as complaining about there not being anyone who gets his method ("well, except Robin. They at least could keep up - too bad they switched to the labs.")

All the while the two continue their visits, subtly building up their confidence again and laying the groundwork for an actual friendship. They'll need to ask, but they want to have the "gift" ready for that.

The supervisors do catch on. Robin gets a private summon (and shakes like a leaf the entire way to their specific supervisor's office, only to freeze at there being two supervisors - hello again, Agent River). They don't suffer for long - the offer is direct. There's been interest in switching them back over to field work, back under River's supervision and specifically to work in partner missions with Dusk and Dawn. They could work solo missions or stay in the lab during the time between those, a dual domain focus isn't unheard of.

Robin, overwhelmed, asks for some time to think - and gets a night to sleep on it. They return to their shift, and have a couple hours to collect themself before Dawn stops by, later in the afternoon. He doesn't know about the offer rattling in their brain, and is thoroughly confused (and worried about) the contemplative look they regard him with while obviously zoning out. When he snaps them out of it, they turn their back to him, and he's just a tad jittery at the thought that they purposefully hide their expression from him. They do sound awfully neutral.

"Got the offer to switch back to field work again earlier."

"Oh?"

"Yup."

"Do you... want to take it?"

"Specifically. To work with Dusk and you. You wouldn't happen to have something to do with that?"

Ah, so the supervisors already snitched. He stops fidgeting then, shoulders dropping to a more comfortable level as he grins.

"We only did what we consider 'giving credit where credit is due'. Whatever the supervisors happened to do with that information is out of our hands."

They glare at him then, but there's not as much fire in it as when he first saw them again, far from it.

"Why?"

"Because you're a good agent, and we want to be friends."

Hello, number one thing Robin did not expect to hear today!

They start spluttering, very close to a cartoonish double take.

"But - you said -"

Dawn is still a peacock, and can fake confidence like a pro.

"Well, I think I should be allowed to change my mind. Are you seriously going to hold me to something I said months ago, when I was an idiot?"

That gets them. They blink, and then just start laughing, clinging to the lab counter just a little to steady themself.

"You're still an idiot. Did you seriously set this up just to ask me to be friends?"

Dawn's reply is sober, matter of factly.

"Well, no. We also genuinely miss working with you, because friends or not, you are the only one capable of understanding our method and keeping up with us."

That sobers them up, too. They study him for a moment, but there's nothing in his expression hinting towards any doubt. This confidence isn't faked.

Robin does choose a dual focus. They love seeing room for improvement right in the field, and then getting to work on said improvement themself.

The three grow pretty comfortable with each other, the boys even willing to talk about bits and pieces of their personal life. Mostly Eclipse, really, still addressing him as Horizon though. They did (and do) make an effort to initiate conversations more with their brother, so they have a lot of shenanigans to share. Eclipse knows about Robin, too, and often enough teases his brothers for their thinly veiled crush. Sun and Moon do deny it, but well...

One day, after one complaint over the boys' current landlord too many, Robin jokingly offers that they just move in with them, but gets a genuine "yes" back. Do shrug the surprise off though to confirm, because why not, actually? ... Though wouldn't the higher ups mind?

So they stage an accidental reveal for Sun and Y/N at a specific store's ~special~ sale they both were interested in. They're very apologetic when immediately admitting that to Agent River, and she isn't paid enough to care that much so she lets it slide.

She definitely isn't paid enough to call them out on the change of address just a few short weeks later, and so she looks away. They're already a well-oiled team by then, Robin despite their limited exposure in the field soon joining Dusk and Dawn in reputation.

They all feel very clever when they enjoy their new domestic life together, seamlessly slotting into something more than just neighbors, because they're already friends. They're in each other's places constantly, and none of them would ever think of complaining. The boys worked very hard to get where they are, and know very well to cherish that after their rocky starts.

(They're the timeline that at some point has one of them just look at the other, somehow entangled in the most natural cuddle, doing something entirely normal for them, and ask "Hey, are we a couple? Is this a couple thing? Because I wouldn't mind if it's a couple thing. Would love that, actually. But also no hard feelings if not." and get a very blunt "Oh no yea I'd love that too." back. Third party gets updated during the next switch, and is also horribly blasé about it. Not much changes, except maybe a few more kisses. They were definitely already besties who nuzzle <3

#answer let luce #chaotikanvas #accidentally undercover #au alt timeline #hatchling au #I had to stop there sorry if it seems abrupt I was just. This already is out of control FHDJSK #takes three days to answer and then it's just the most boring confession scene ever FGDHSJ #but it's okay I promise it's worth it <3 #yeets this into the wild

[popchoc]

24 You want me to beat her up?

Leyren :)

Lauren Bloom & Leyla Shinwari, New Amsterdam

24: You Want Me To Beat Her Up?

****************************************************

As she walks through the long hospital corridor, Leyla is so lost in thought that she doesn't notice Lauren coming towards her until she almost bumps into her. Yet the real reason for her exclamation lays in what comes next: the act of Lauren grabbing her by her scrubs and pulling her straight into the nearest supply room.

"Lauren, what the—"

Her words get muffled by her girlfriend's lips though, and by the time they break apart she can't remember her own question.

"Hi," Lauren whispers, her forehead still resting against Leyla's.

"Hi," Leyla answers softly.

Lauren smiles at her, smitten and excited. "I'm sorry for the hijack, I uhm... I got hit by a wave of missing you. I just had to find you."

"Well, you did," Leyla returns her smile - however, without its usual sparkle. And when she tells Lauren she missed her too, it comes with the wrong kind of sigh.

Backing away, Lauren looks at her, her eyes now narrow and worried.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing," Leyla answers, a little too fast. "Just kiss me again."

She leans in, not waiting for any response, but when she’s about to reconnect their lips, Lauren turns her face away - making her grumble in frustration... before trying again.

Trying and failing.

"Ley- Leyla, no. No!" Lauren ducks from her embrace. "I mean, yes, I'm all for kissing the hell out of you, but not now. Not..."

"Not what?"

"Not when you're upset. Come on, talk to me. Did I do anything?"

Leyla takes a deep breath, averting her eyes for a moment, then shakes her head - her lips pressed together, as if to say: this is all you're getting. But for Lauren, it’s enough.

"Oh no," she cries out, "It's those shitheads, isn't it? They're still giving you a hard time? Even after they got all that new equipment?!" 

"Well... yeah," Leyla shrugs, almost apologetically. "But it's... it's alright. They got me a bit grumpy just now, but I can deal with them, really. It's mostly Roxana anyway, the others aren't that bad."

Lauren stares at her with darkened eyes. "Sounds like one too many for me. I'm telling you, she's not—"

"Lauren, don’t! We talked about this. No privileges. No special treatments."

This time it’s Lauren’s turn to shake her head, firm and determined. 

"Oh, but I'm not your boss right now. This is me being your girlfriend. And as such, I'm not okay with any of this." Squaring her shoulders, she rolls up her sleeves. "Seriously, you want me to beat her up?"

There’s no doubt she’s serious. But to Leyla, that fact alone makes her burst with uncontrollable laughter. Which causes Lauren to look at her indignantly.

"Hey," she exclaims, "I mean it!"

"I know," Leyla hiccups, trying to catch her breath, "That's what makes it even better."

Crossing her arms, Lauren tilts her head. "You think I can't take her down?"

"Oh baby," Leyla grins, hardly able to keep from more giggling, "Please don't make me answer that!"

As expected, Lauren opens her mouth to object. Yet Leyla promptly pinning her to the wall kind of invalidates every argument she has. Besides, there are only so many times she can reject those lips, and talking while kissing has never been her strongest suit.

And so the case is rested, and - with things heating up - quickly forgotten.

That is until they are about to enter the real world again.

"You really would though, wouldn't you?" Leyla breaks their comfy post-sex silence, peering through her lashes as she adjusts her ponytail. "Kick her ass if I asked you to?"

It’s the easiest question Lauren can think of. Smoothing her lab coat, she steps close to her girl again and pecks her temple. "Don't you know it yet?" she smiles passionately, "I would do anything for you."

****************************************************

3k Celebration Prompts (closed)

#writing prompts #fanfiction #lauren bloom #leyla shinwari #lauren x leyla #leyren #new amsterdam #you can consider this a missing scene between 4.02 and 4.03 :)

[angria]

I guess an okay week? Better than last week at least. Actually looks like a good week based on the amount of positives I came up with?

Had two good sessions this week, discussing dating and A. Some attachment feelings since T is away next week, but feel distracted by all the stuff with A. Meh, probably will feel it more next week.

Was able to find three people to interview for my survey project, which was stressing me out because, based on my research topic, I needed to find one teacher who works at a school that does not have a GSA and that is not an easy find in my area, even at religious schools. (Which is a really good thing, but not for my project). A friend connected me with her friend who works at a diocesan Catholic school...ultra conservative 🙄 Now just need to write my final paper and done with this class!

Painted my nails lavender purple again...loving this color. And still trying to wear lipstick more. Self-conscious feelings really flare and trying to work through it.

Had a Vestry meeting last Tuesday evening and felt a little more connected with others. A couple people checked in with me, so that felt nice.

Tonight is one of St. P's Lenten church dinners, which I'm excited for. I always look forward to the dinner series each year. It attracts a small group of regulars, sharing dinner and a discussion topic.

Was able to see my friend, whose wedding is in two weeks (!!!) I was just happy to see her for dinner beforehand, even though she is super busy with classes and wedding prep. We hadn't seen each other since New Year's.

Ordered my Easter outfit...a pastel pink midi dress with a waist tie (idk, the whole needing a new dress for Easter church service is still in my head from growing up). Hoping it fits okay. Probably will wear it to my friend's rehearsal dinner as well with my bridesmaid heels.

Idk if this is a positive, but trying really hard not to make snap judgments about others or getting irritated easily, considering I'm in school for social work 😂 Or at least catching myself when I make them because also trying not to invalidate my own feelings. Like being more understanding that people are reacting based on whatever is going on in their life or what is coming up for them in the interaction, not a directed personal attack on me.

#the weekly positives #angriadm

[blackjackkent]

OK, on closer inspection, I think the Ominous Portal from the last post is actually the way out of this area. There's a closed door on the far side of the room which triggered an autosave when Hector got close.

And he is here. Alone. By himself.

This is fiiiiiiine.

Passing through the door gives us a few more loot chests, openable with the Sorcerous Sundries basement key we found earlier, and leads to another door labeled with a plaque that says "Restricted Area."

Really hoping this restricted area contains the Karsus book we're looking for and not, like, an aboleth.

*gulp*

The door, interestingly, is not labeled "Door" but "*Ramazith*" (asterisks included).

It's fine. It's all fine. Totally fine. Hector, you know that saying about curiosity and the cat?

OK, no disintegration, just another room with three more doors. These three are labeled *Elminster*, *Silverhand*, and *Karsus* respectively.

This meandering maze of rooms with the black fog-of-war abyss all around feels very reminiscent of some of the dungeons in BG2 (like the planar sphere). XD

The Karsus door sounds promising for the book we're looking for but let's go with Elminster door first because we like Elminster and hopefully that's not the disintegration room.

Hector's VA sounds very impatient about this but the truth is that, while I am busy snarking over here, he's definitely super excited to be digging around in the tunnels under the tower looking for this secret hidden lore. This is where history nerd and adventurer come together in a beautiful combination that is probably going to get him killed.

This place is hella trapped by the way. Luckily Hector is our lockpicker and trapbreaker so he's not doing too terribly at navigating this place by himself.

Unfortunately, the Elminster and Karsus doors give the notification "Target is Invalid" when I try to lockpick them, and they're not smashable targets. The Silverhand door appears to take us into another area entirely. So I'm assuming we need to go through the Silverhand door and find a key that will open the others?

-----

Oh dear this is a massive maze.

Four doors now - Abjuration, Transmutation, Illusion, and Evocation. Also more traps.

Going through Evocation puts us on top of a panel which, if we step off we get shot with ice crystals. Four more doors there - Foresight, Invulnerability, Gate, and Wish.

I wrote a whole puzzle pondering bit here and then I realized that only Wish is an actual door; the others shunt us back to previous rooms. Going through Wish gives us this room:

Aha. I bet this opens the Elminster room, and there's another sequence that opens the Karsus room.

Progress.

The Elminster vault has two chests and a display case on pedestals. The chests are just loot. The display case has another book!

Aha. This would be more excited if we still had The Necromancy of Thay, but we'll look anyway.

Honestly I think Hector's just as glad that he got rid of it, but do we at least still get loot for reading this book?

Nope! ^_^

OK, let's keep moving and try and find the Karsus book before Hector expires down here.

Silverhand -> Abjuration -> Silver gets us to the lever that opens the Karsus vault. It has quite a bit of loot:

The note, entitled "Magus Be Warned":

Luckily, Hector is not driven by hubris, just by a curiosity bordering on the maniacal (and sometimes by pure panic).

And now... the moment itself - the book we've been looking for. The Annals of Karsus. Hopefully we can also bring it with us to show Gale.

Eeeeenteresting.

Is the Orb the thing in Gale's chest?

The reward, a "Scroll of Dethrone", is a fairly scary-sounding spell:

And we were indeed able to pick it up to bring with us!

Sweet. Let's GTFO of here and get back to camp.

#bjk plays baldur's gate 3 #hector carlisle #that was more of an adventure than i expected

[theduchessofnaxos]

Warning: extremely bitchy rant. But my feelings are hurt and I want to be a jerk about it.

So there's this trans girl in my class (trans is relevant I swear) who's been very eager to make friends and whatnot because she's joining the program. And I was raised to make friends with people Because It's The Nice Thing To Do, which means I get physically uncomfortable rejecting friendship even if the person irritates me. Which she does, because she's VERY high energy and also really focused on the "we're both trans!" thing, while I am very low energy and honestly would rather limit discussion of my transness to "oh yeah i have an appointment" and similar, because it bores me.

All of which is to say, I agreed to join a Discord channel she set up with the other trans people she knows (because she wants to collect the transes like Pokemon) and hoo boy was this a mistake. I knew it was a mistake, but told myself to quit being antisocial and misanthropic, it's good to have community and shit. I should have listened to my gut and turned down the annoying chick.

I've looked at it twice and I've already seen a comment about "muscular women > muscular cis guys" (why specify cis? Are trans men women to these people???) And today, when I posted about developing acne and how I'm excited because it means the T is working, the response from the only other transmasc was "oh, my skin got clearer on T" which prompted someone else to respond with "that means it's biologically right for you!" So, guess T isn't right for the guy who just reported his excitement over acne then? Great, thanks, I can really see why people seek community.

I don't want to be the guy who "doesn't like the community" because those guys suck. But Jesus Christ, if this is the trans community around here I'm significantly better off with the cis people who are just happy for me instead of saying weird shit.

I can and will be ignoring the Discord, but I've no idea how I'm going to handle the classmate. She'll get weird about it if I'm too distant (she repeatedly apologized for accepting a ride home from someone else, after I repeatedly said it was fine because... obviously.) But I don't want to hang out with her at all because all this weird obnoxious shit I'm suddenly dealing with stems from her. (She was also the culprit in the really fucking annoying episode of "you're totally more masculine after two days on T, which is something you should be excited to hear because obviously someone like you can't possibly feel confident in his masculinity already!")

Ugh. I blame my preschool teacher mother and her "be a leader by befriending people!" bullshit. I'm sure it makes me a better person and whatnot, but trying to be a good person currently has me subjecting myself to a "friendship" that's putting me in invalidating and hurtful situations and I think I probably deserve better than that.

#I'm aware that I'm being an absolute jackass right now but I'm pissed off and dreading the next several years because of these people #two of my actual friends who treat me normal are leaving after this year #which means I'll need to either make more friends or get stuck with the trans people #And I just will not enjoy this program anymore if my social interaction is coming from Ms. Hyperfocused on My Transness #and her friends who hate my entire historical field and the people who study it #I'd get stuck talking about nothing but being trans with people who invalidate my experience of it without a thought.

[happi-tree]

i have two oakworthy wips rn. the first one takes place in the 2 weeks the teens spent in the void going back home because hermie defo didn't want to process his feelings about finding out he was adopted so my fic is (i'm just gonna ramble to u about my fics now) my fic is normal waking up on the cat bus and seeing that hermie is still awake and clearly really shaken up about it and hurt/comfort ensuws 😍😍😍 ane my other oakworthy wip is based off a lyric from i/me/myself: "all identities are equally invalid. don't you think that there's a chance that you could live without it?" and it's hermie trying to convince norm (and himself) that he doesn't need to figure out who he is because it doesn't matter in the long run since he's getting by playing different roles fit for the situation hfdiidjejdciodkri29r9e9ro

OOOOOOOOOH I LOVE THESE!!!

Also I did see that you posted the first one and I read it last night 🥰🥰🥰 It was really lovely and I'm always a sucker for people tying Hermie's shapeshifting abilities into his mental/emotional state it's soooo tasty to me. Also like the moment where he looks at Normal and both of his eyes turn hazel was SO sweet to me (not 100% sure if it was intended to be this way, but I interpreted it as Normal's eyes are hazel and when Hermie recognizes he's there it grounds him for a very brief moment and it's reflected in his eyes which is. So. Ashkdvfkhdvfkhasvffvs 🥺🥺🥺)

And the second one sounds REALLY cool, too! I really like exploring Hermie's identity issues and I think it's so real that Hermie wouldn't want the added pressure of figuring out Exactly Who He Is on top of. Well *gestures at all of season 2 thus far*. Very excited to give it a read!!!

Also sorry I didn't get to answering this earlier I was preeeeeetty busy with irl stuff last night 😅 Hope you're having a good day, lovebird!!! <3

#thanks for the ask cookies!!! #last night and this morning were. VERY chaotic for me adhdbgfhkdfvs. happi? partying on a friday night??? more likely than you'd think!!! #but YES the oakworthies... love them to death and i adore how you write them <333 #asks #cookies-over-yonder #dndads #fic #oakworthy