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#but i'm starting to change my mind
nightmaretour · 9 months
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Anti-technology people who insist they're not ableist crack me up. What about people who rely on machines to breathe, eat, keep their heart functioning, or otherwise stay alive? "Well not that technology, obviously!" Ok what about AAC users, people who use hearing aids, or otherwise use technology to interact with the world in ways they otherwise couldn't? "Not that technology, obviously." Okay, my mobile phone is my memory, my sense of time, my sense of direction when I get lost, my ability to contact someone when I need help. It is my personal freedom because without it I would need full time care and supervision. But yes, that technology, right?
I hate how technology is made and utilised under capitalism as much as the next guy, but to pretend that technology doesn't greatly improve the lives of countless people, or even allow them to continue being alive, is to be willfully ignorant to the existence of disabled people. A world without technology is a world where a lot of disabled people don't get to survive. Capitalism is the problem, not the technology. Technology can (and should) exist just fine without capitalism.
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beesinspades · 1 year
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buddy daddies really gave us canonical queerplatonic partnership rep.....thank you so much I could cry ;a;
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a2zillustration · 1 month
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seance · 24 days
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THE MUSKETEERS 10TH ANNIVERSARY REWATCH / fave episodes [2/?] ↳ SEASON 1, EPISODE 4 / the good soldier
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uncanny-tranny · 5 months
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I love you smile lines and worry lines and grey and white hair and wrinkles and purple spiderweb veins and the process of aging and living in a body that is standing the test of times. I love you experiences that make you wiser and stories that make you laugh, and every little process that happens to get to the point where you have so many memories because you have the fortune to be here and be so radiant
#positivity#pro aging#also i hate you 'anti aging' scams that capitalize on fear of aging. death by 1000000 papercuts for ye#saw a hair video where they restored the salt-and-pepper colour in an older clients hair and it looked SO GOOD at the end#i love when people throw in the towel and embrace their aging however that looks#it isn't productive to shame people who are ashamed of aging and i just want to. celebrate aging#in a world that simultaneously venerates youth and adulthood and hates BOTH you need to find some sense of freedom#as a Young Adult(tm) please please PLEASE older folks seeing this/following me know that i look up to you#older folks i need you to know that your worth NEVER diminished when you added a new number on your birthday cake#and your body and mind and soul NEVER lost worth because it started to creak a little at the joints#and i might be wrong about this because i'm still young but it can be SO tempted to miss your youth when you feel like...#...you've somehow LOST part of yourself by growing older. and so much of aging is about change and some things don't stay the same...#...and that IS scary and i will never once fault somebody for that. but please don't fall into the trap that because you've aged that...#...you somehow have forever lost fundamental pieces of Who You Are and you could never come back from that...#...for your own sake and sanity you deserve to find comfort and solice and understanding in who you still are...#...because you are still - at the core - the same. you can never take this away from yourself#and i know this might ring hollow because i just don't get what it's like to be older#but i have looked at my elders and felt awe at their age and their experiences#and i know what that is like and it's awesome. i just wish more older people knew that so many of us look at you with awe...#...and - if you can believe it - some of us ENVY your age or experiences or even body#i'm watching an 'older' content creator (older by internet standards 🙄) and i envy him for how eventful his life was#i envy that he experienced a different world - one that i have only heard about from my dad because i was too young to remember it#and i admire this person for their wisdom and thoughts because they've come from his experiences living in a Different World#it's that type of stuff that makes me unafraid to keep on living#inspired by following somebody like. twice my age posting about their excitement abiut growing older and !!!!!!! YEAHHHHHH#didn't realize they were closer to my dad's age but that's so cool???????????
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seyaryminamoto · 26 days
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Fic-to-Art #38: Ozai carries Azula to the physicians' wing
This has been done for A WHILE now, but I didn't post it because the past days have been chaotic and not just on a personal level. For one thing, I really wasn't eager to drop this when people were losing their shit massively over the liveaction and its recontextualization of Azula and Ozai's dynamics, I didn't look forward to releasing this just to be told that whatever I've done in my story is somehow wrong, sooooooooo... that held me back, for a few days.
Then? The AI-Tumblr deal started to be talked about and I may or may not have freaked out about that too. Sooo... this is the first glazed and nightshaded piece of my creation, as consequence. The original, clean and proper version is available in my Patreon. Is this me being a dick to Tumblr-only people? Unfortunately, it very much isn't, I'm not trying to say that if you want the best iterations of my art, you should pay me for it... this is squarely, entirely, at staff/the CEO's feet. Obviously, there's the insecure side of me that goes "what makes you think they'd steal YOUR art when there are so many better artists out there!" but ultimately? AI is about taking everything en masse. It isn't a matter of developing a criteria about who makes the better art... it's just taking EVERYTHING and trying to repurpose it in whatever twisted way it needs to. Therefore? I think my choice is more of a matter of caution than anything else. Once AI bullshit dies out (and I really hope it does), we may just return to the same level of quality across all my accounts. For now, it is what it is.
ANYWAY! Point is this artwork is very much what my Patrons happened to vote for this month, a very shocking scene where Ozai reacted in the least foreseen way to Azula being attacked. Azula's confusion/terror comes from a place of not knowing what to do and being powerless to stop her father even if she doesn't feel comfortable with his help... but for once, Ozai isn't making a dreadful choice that will only devastate his daughter. He's actually worried about her health... and feeling genuine guilt over what landed her in the situation where she was in danger in the first place. Yes. I like me my complex Ozai who finally learned actions have consequences. He bores me to death otherwise :') if anyone STILL doesn't know that this whole situation is Gladiator-specific, then I shall clarify fully: this is artwork based on my fic. It's about a story that has been developing these characters for ALMOST ELEVEN YEARS now. It has nothing to do with whatever's going on in canon or in the liveaction, the scene in question was written almost two years ago and the artwork proposed and voted for several days before the liveaction aired. Ergo: there is no connection between this and that. Nor am I saying through this piece that Ozai is a good father. He is not. He can still be an interesting character to work with on a narrative level anyway :')
Alright. With that out of the way, hope you guys like this piece! The big one I haven't posted is ALSO finished, also glazed and nightshaded, but I think I might just end up posting it on the 26th if I don't have time to do anything big for our eleventh anniversary... yep, I'm so busy I don't even have a huge project in mind this time. Also? I have a lot to write and I'm finally happily writing it, and I would like to continue doing that...
Anyway! If you would like to be part of the creative process behind this piece, as well as see it in its proper, OG, less color-bleeding clunky version? A $1 Patreon pledge gives you the chance to join in suggesting prompts, voting for them and reading Gladiator snippets 6 days before a new chapter is released!
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2hoothoots · 10 months
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i was having a chuckle to myself last night about Gristol, and how his plans are basically:
Restore Ford Cruller's memory
Find Maligula
???
Profit
but then... of course they are, right? this is Gristol we're talking about. Fatherland Follies drives home again and again that he's still operating on a child's logic, a warped and reductive version of the world that he never bothered to grow out of. both of his memory vaults center on the images of his childhood, this idealized version of the past that he clings to no matter what. and that's still how he remembers Maligula, too - as this saviour figure, who rushes in to help him when he's in trouble.
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[ID: Two slides from Gristol's memory vault, Glory to Grulovia! Left: Gristol clings to Maligula's back as she summons waves to sweep away his assailants. Right: Gristol and Maligula waving from a balcony as the people cheer. Gzar Theodore brandishes a dagger in the background.]
like so much else, Maligula represents a return to this idyllic childhood - to the peace and simplicity of his youth, when he was free from worries and responsibilities. in his mind, he doesn't need to make any further plans - once Maligula's back, everything will go back to normal. Maligula will make everything better.
...is what i thought, but then i remembered this line:
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[Screenshot source. ID: Gristol, in Truman's body, bows on his hands and knees in front of the newly-awaked Maligula. The caption reads: "Yes, High Priestess! I am here to correct the mistakes made by my father!"]
and that's kind of interesting, right?
to be clear: this happens directly after Maligula sees Helmut-in-Gristol's-body, and recognises him. her line before this is:
"Little Gzesaravich! Have you come to pay for your father's sins?"
my first thought was that Gristol hadn't expected to still be in Truman's body by the time he managed to find Maligula, and this was him trying to placate her and buy some time until he could explain the situation. but watching the cutscene back, that's clearly not what's happening here. Gristol is answering as himself, and his response of throwing himself to his knees before her is, as far as i can tell, genuine.
so what is going on here?
in Fatherland Follies, there's this line in the ride narration that stuck out to me:
"Why didn't the Gzar help Maligula in her time of need? No one knows, but historians agree - it is Gzar Theodore's biggest failure."
other lines mention Gzar Theodore's "mistake", and it's wording Gristol himself echoes in the screencap above. evidently, he believes that his father abandoned Maligula, leaving her to her fate at the hands of the Psychonauts, and it was that mistake that lead to them being driven out of the country - that mistake which he seeks to correct. maybe he even feels like he has a debt to repay to her for his family turning their backs on her all those years ago.
the 'High Priestess' thing, though - that's kinda weird, and threw me for a loop the first time i played the game. it took me until my second playthrough to connect the dots, and remember how the room in the Lady Luctopus - Gristol's room - was full of Delugionist scribblings and symbols.
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[Screenshot source. ID: left, the walls of the hidden backroom in Gristol's hotel suite, covered in scrawlings of eyeballs and Maligula's name. Right, the pinboard from the hidden backroom. On its surface are photographs and newspaper clippings connected by pieces of string.]
i mean, look at this stuff! he had a whole conspiracy board and everything!
we learn very little about the Delugionists and their beliefs as a whole during the game, but i think drawing the connection here suggests two important things. one: that Gristol was in deep with this stuff. i don't know how he linked up with them - maybe via old family connections, or just good old-fashioned digging (we know he's skilled at worming his way into peoples' good graces, after all) - but it seems likely that he's begun to internalise their ideas, maybe even warping his own memories of events. and two: the Delugionists themselves are, if you'll pardon the pun, pretty far off the deep end.
like... i understand why PN2 didn't go heavy on the "mass-murderer cult worship" aspect of things, in the end, but man this is such a tantalising glimpse into the wider mythos around Maligula. Gristol is proud and haughty and thinks himself above everyone else; the fact that his first reaction seeing Maligula is to throw himself to the ground at her feet says so much about the way he's come to see her. he's not just trying to bring back Maligula, his childhood bodyguard. he's trying to bring back Maligula, the High Priestess of the deluge, the semi-mythical figure whose supporters believe even death couldn't stop. he doesn't even flinch at the way she confronts him, and maybe it's because he's bought in so completely to this deified figurehead, this idea of Maligula; more a living force of nature than a person. and it all comes back to the same place: an abdication of responsibility, not just to the person who protected him when he was little but to this avatar of floods and destruction. Maligula will make everything better.
i'd write more about my thoughts on the Delugionists but that'd be taking a hard turn into speculation, and this is already kind of long and rambling so i'd better end it here. but what an unexpected and evocative line, right? it's some of the only stuff we have to go off of regarding the Delugionists as a whole, but i think it does such a good job of hinting at the wider story - at teasing another layer to the mythos surrounding Maligula, one whose ripples we see throughout the game but which never quite breaches the surface.
#psychonauts#psychonauts 2#bored waiting at the airport so you get more psychonauts meta from me#the delugionists have been on my mind recently (because i Might Just have an upcoming au lorepost about them and also cults are fun)#so tossing my thoughts up here because people seemed to like the last few times i did this#and also it's my blog and i like to talk :)#related vent i HATE drafting posts in the tumblr editor because if you hit crtl+z to try and undo a formatting change#it deletes like half the post you just typed out#(yes i did it again while i was writing this. yes i'm still salty. why do i even bother)#what else... this is just becoming a disconnected thoughts dump#but if you've seen my posts you knew what you were signing up for when you hit the button to expand the post tags#there's new art coming hopefully this weekend if i can get it finished! it's more mermaid au designs#i'm two and a half weeks late for mermay but it turns out starting a new job and moving house doesn't leave you with a ton of free time#but that's okay it's never too late for mermaids#omg and artfight's coming up next month too! geez#i gotta make refsheets for the fsau trio because i would LOVE to get art of them#and this year i don't have a thesis to crunch on so i might actually have time to participate#oh and then in august i'm having top surgery! will make a proper announcement post for it at some point#i say 'announcement'. it's just a life update but it's nice to share#i'm super excited about it :)#i might end up blogging the process and recovery but obviously it won't be going here lol. i'd put it on my main#idk if anyone would find it useful but when i first started looking into surgery i had like very little idea about the whole process#and it's only through joining a bunch of online support/discussion groups that i managed to find more info and resources#so hey it might be useful to share? we'll see#our flight doesn't land for another fifty minutes so now i'm just writing in the tags because i'm bored#alright i'll proofread this and then post it when i land and have signal again. peace out yall hope your pride month is going well
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something about being called 'darling girl' by Alex Blake...
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mitamicah · 4 months
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Not me brainstorming ideas for my post op tattoo (context) like I'd contact the tattoo artist tomorrow and not in a 1,5 year or more
This was where my inspiration took me today I guess :'D
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mattodore · 6 months
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there's something about the way you are that makes me… ♪
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As a professional in the field with DID, do you find the current amount and/or type of representation online to be a help or hindrance to furthering the understanding of CDDs for other mental health professionals?
Definitely not a help. I would say it ranges from a scale of not impactful to harmful. On one end of the scale, most of the DID therapists I know are not even remotely connected to DID Tiktok, tumblr, YouTube, etc., so a lot of them have no idea what the online representation is even like right now. I would say this is particularly true for clinicians who have been in the field for a long time. It's just like...so far off their radars. They already know what DID is like because they've worked with DID clients for so long and have learned about DID not only from those clients, but from conferences, trainings, consultations with people who have been in the field for even longer, etc. So for those people, they're so grounded in their knowledge of complex dissociative disorders that the current online representation wouldn't impact them one way or another aside from maybe making them roll their eyes or chuckle at some of it. OR it might alarm them for the reasons I will move into next...
On the other end of the scale, I think the amount and type of online representation right now is a significant hindrance to furthering the understanding of CDDs for mental health professionals. Particularly with TikTok. For a lot of therapists, they haven't received any specialized training in dissociation, so they might be experiencing "DID" for the first time in the form of young clients who show up saying that they have DID because of what they've seen on TikTok or YouTube. It's already a very popular topic of conversation in therapist circles that there has been an absolute flood of self-diagnosed clients from TikTok showing up to therapy in recent years. And it's not good! Therapists are talking about trends in self-diagnoses, which largely includes teens and young adults self-diagnosing with DID, BPD, NPD, ASPD, ADHD, or autism. For some of these things, like autism, I'm like cool you do you! Autism is a social identity and a culture and a community; you get to decide if that identity/label fits for you. For DID and these highly stigmatized personality disorders...the feeling is like...why are y'all putting on these labels like it's some kind of diagnosis Olympics?
But anyway, this flood has made many therapists very wary of clients who show up saying they have DID. It has made therapists a lot more skeptical and also a lot more uncertain about what DID really looks like, since it's getting mixed up in all of these strange representations of splitting nonstop fictional introjects from new media or introjects of their favorite YouTube streamer. This is very bad for people who truly are suffering from the impacts of having a complex dissociative disorder! It's very hard for us to get good care already, and very hard to find therapists who are knowledgeable these disorders. The fact that TikTok and related social media have turned DID into something trendy and something "desirable" in the hierarchy of "most severe diagnoses that I could get in order to validate my experiences" is VERY BAD! And it's even worse for people with DID who have RAMCOA histories and polyfragmented systems. The TikTokification of DID has made it even harder for these folks to be taken seriously.
It's a really weird experience because I've gone from feeling nervous about disclosing my DID to other mental health clinicians because of stigma and misinformation (like thinking that DID is this really dramatic thing like the movies show and that you can't possibly be stable enough with DID to be a good therapist), to being nervous because I'm like...will they think I'm like these kids from TikTok? Will they think I'm just self-diagnosing? Will they take me seriously at all? Will they think I'm just following this trend? So yeah, I guess my point is that I don't think the current type and amount of "representation" is good for helping professionals understand DID. I'm ALL for lived experience educating and I love doing that kind of work in my professional communities, but not all sharing of lived experience is beneficial.
Tl;dr DID TikTok has made the journey to educate more therapists about DID a lot harder and I'm salty about it.
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bugsbenefit · 2 months
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all i'll say about Noah's video is that i think it's weird people are calling it a "bad apology", because it's not even an apology video. the only thing he says is that his opinions have been misconstrued and that he doesn't want people to die, which, yeah, he already said before. there's no sorry, from the video alone you wouldn't even know if he's aware of what he did that made people turn on him so fast in the first place
i know the norm nowadays is to call any response to an issue/a situation an "apology" but sometimes it's just a statement, which is what this is. if he was genuinely "apologizing" he'd have to address the actual things he did, like keep misinformation up, even after it's been disproven and worst of all the "zionism is sexy" thing. what he's doing is just cautious backpeddling by saying everyone got him wrong. just a pretty obvious pr nothing-statement sadly
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onewholivesinloops · 8 months
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so much of what sells battler to me as a character is the tohya reveal at the end of ep8 bc it gives his characterization throughout the vn a whole new layer and the recontextualization level is on an equal level as that of yasu and shkanontrice
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teatimeatwinterpalace · 2 months
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Like it or not, the one who saved and modernized the monarchy was King George V, not king Edward VII, and this is an undisputed fact that all historians would agree with. After all, It was during the reign of King George V that 13 European Monarchies crumbled to the ground while the british monarchy survived. And it survived because of George V, because of his leadership, his modern statesmanship, his will to embrace and encourage changes, his popularity and the respect that his nation had for him, while he led his country to victory during WW1. He was the FIRST Monarch that brought monarchy close to people, hence why he was nicknamed the People's Monarch or the Citizen Monarch. George reigned during the most difficult times in the history of monarchy and of mankind, but he managed to save his monarchy and to modernize it, setting the path for a Constitutional Modern Monarch*. Your bias cannot change it, because facts dont give a damn about your opinions. A pity that you cannot uplift Edward VII without bringing George down. George wasnt dull, he was quite the character. He was genuine, funny, reproachable, a lover of books and cinema, and most importantly he was a SERIOUS LEADER, who acted exactly as a modern head of state is suppsed to act. Oh and he was a FAITHFUL Husband, he was devoted to his wife and loyal to her throughout their entire marriage. Something that can never be said of Edward VII who was unfaithful and over-indulgent in everything ( Im sure his mistresses would have preferred Handsome George though). If being faithful and family-oriented makes a man dull, than give me dull everyday. Queen Alexandra would've been happy to have married a man like George who never embarrassed and humiliated his wife
Oh my, where does this come from? lmao. Tbh, I deserve this kind of message when it's about Wilhelm. I'm totally biased regarding this rascally young fop (Alexander III said it first!). Badmouthing him is one of my favourite pastime. But George, come on! I never been too harsh with him? EXCEPT, perhaps, when it comes down to the Romanovs, but what can I say? When you don't have a backbone, you really don't…
Yet, I'm a tad puzzled by your message because we are talking about George V right? The one who in April 1905 hadn't seen his children for three months. The one who used to shout at his second son "Get it out" when the poor soul was suffering from stammer. The one who in 1917, while on a stroll in the grounds of Sandringham complained to Nora Wigram that his children always avoided him. Nora retelling this story in one of her letters to her parents said how Mary, David and Bertie became "quite cheerful & entirely flippant, writing their names in the snow" when George and Mary had gone home on said stroll. However, do you know who was ACTUALLY a good father? his cousin *whispering* Nicky.
Faithful yes but let me remind you that their marriage was far from smooth sailing. They lived seperately for months on end. You also must have forgotten the countless letters from George trying to apologise for shutting down, being rude or cold towards May. + May's letters complaining on how he would shut her out. The man was unable to articulate his feelings which led to endless misunderstanding. May who once wrote to George while in Paris : "I quite understand about yr not wishing to come to Paris & am not angry, I only thought it wd be nice change as I find life in general very dull- unless one has a change sometimes." She had wanted him to join her but had received a rebuff instead. May who wrote to his brother in 1900 while she was stuck in the gloomy York Cottage: "It is so dull here & I feel very low & depressed tho' Im pretty well on the whole" (alright she was pregnant at that time, but guess where George was?… out shooting birds).
Led his country to victory during WW1? Hmmm, you really mean George V who was described in 1918 by the Viscount Esher in those terms: "he seems virtually a recluse, steadily devoting himself to good purposes and little works of a good kind, but with not conspicuousness, no assertiveness of the King's position." / "making himself a nonentity" ? While May wrote on 19 november 1916 to her son David about the hospital visits: "They are "assomant" (tiresome) & I dislike them more than words can describe!" and then proceeded to explain how much she enjoyed her shopping trips at Goode's.
I'm teasing because OF COURSE I think George V was a good ruler and perhaps he was the kind of ruler the country needed at that time. He was a great arbitrator and was able to adapt and change despite having conservative views and being very much uneducated. How he dealt with the Irish question is a stellar example! He was an ordinary man who disliked society and suffered from bouts of depression. There is a sentence that struck me in Ridley's book which in my opinion sums up George : "He was a man of disconnected feelings".
I could write PAGES about Bertie's shortcomings and how his shenanigans damaged the monarchy. Yet he was a gifted ruler, very much in tune with his time.
So I guess anon, it comes down to... preference. If you are more into shooting birds and collecting stamps, you do you! I, on the contrary, have a soft spot for cosmopolitan kings with a string of scandals.
Now if you'd excuse me, I'm off painting the town red with Bertie!
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taruruchi · 1 month
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"Do you know this story?"
"Of course I do! This is my favorite story in the history of ever! When the prince was willing to give up his life of luxury for the waitress, and the waitress was willing to break their deal because she realized her dream would be incomplete without him... It gets me every single time. Just— the way he's looking at her!"
"You're right. He looks absolutely love-struck."
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Happy birthday, Azul <3
#i gotta post this before 3 mins ends so i'll just edit later and add my rambles#☆ taruchi's drawings 🖌#twisted wonderland#azul ashengrotto#twst oc#*rubs hands together* time for post post ramblings#First of all I started this like one or two days ago and had to kind of speed run so I'm proud I got it done before 3#Bc technically Azul's bday didn't end yet bc it didn't end in the en server#Second why did I choose that picture#I'm obsessed and I have a problem#That's my favorite movie ever. Like. Of course I'm using it#Third I was originally gonna make them both look at the painting#Then I changed it to Taru looking at him#Then I changed it to vice versa because something something I had a reason but I forgot#OH BECAUSE IN THE VOICE LINE HE HAS A LINE THAT WAS LIKE “Your eyes look so bright” bc we were looking at a painting#So I was like OH. OH OPPORTUNITY MY MIND IS CLEAR and now she's excited abt the painting#And he's looking at her supposedly in a similar way that naveen is looking at tiana#FOURTH what is Taru holding#Shell. She's holding a shell which is his gift#Not the shell but what's inside it. And what's inside it?#...... <3#I'll leave that to imagination#But I was also trying to make it similar to how naveen has the nut(?) with the ring he was gonna give#. I am noticing a flaw in the drawing so I'm gonna stop looking at it#I'm sane about them#Them being both couples#Very normal about them#I actually had quite a bit of fun drawing this#I missed drawing and writing for them... Feels nice to do it again 🫶#I think that's it and this is apparently my last tag so uh jsbdjdnd if you read all that ty and ily <3
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da-proti-toku-grem · 3 months
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venting in the tags again bc i'm literally shaking right now wtf
#god i hate it so much#my exams start on monday and i'm not even halfway through everything i need to know for my first exam#i've had all the holidays to study but i just can't concentrate on anything#i've been in my room all day every day (except the days i spent w family like christmas and new year ofc)#and seemingly i'm studying all day#my family thinks i spend all day studying#but the only thing i'm capable of doing most of the time is stare at the things i have to do w/o having any idea of wtf i'm doing#my brain won't shut tf up and telling me stuff that i know are not true#but i just can't#i feel like i've been having an anxiety attack non stop since this monday#not very bad most of the time but it doesn't really stop yk?#and i feel like i have a weight on my chest that i can't really take off#i've been going to therapy and we've come to the conclusion that the cause of my anxiety overall are my studies#(not counting my social anxiety that's been getting worse every day to the point that i don't even want to go out with my best friends)#which doesn't really surprise me but it's just Too Much#i just want to drop everything but since idk what i'd do if i quit this career i chose to do my exams#bc maybe they are useful if i do change my path#but i just can't find it in me to focus and study because my mind is racing all the time#i just want to lie down and cry but i don't even have the strength to do that#i just feel so weak and miserable ever since i started uni and every day it gets worse and worse#my mind just screams at me saying#'stop complaining all the time. no one cares. everyone goes through stuff like that. you're no different. stfu and study like everyone does'#and i know i could do it if i tried but i just can't#why tf is it so difficult to be normal and do what i'm supposed to do for once ffs....#venting#maca speaks
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