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redgalaxyarts · 2 years

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Friends- Sugawara x Reader

Synopsis: (MxF) Volleyball tryouts for your college are near and you had been a setter in your previous school but are a little rusty at it still, so you ask the best setter you know for pointers, your brother's best friend, Koshi Sugawara

Warnings: Heavy smut, degradation, oral (m/f), praise, slight age gap, choking, language, creampie, bruising, spanking, hair tugging, spit, fluff.

(Will be long, bear with me.)

A/N: I'm so sorry with how long this took me to write, I lost motivation halfway through then got it back. Also, the ending isn't exactly how I wanted to finish it but it's 2:20 AM right now and I'm beyond too tired to rewrite it. Also if you see any typos let me know so I can fix them, this is not previewed so I'm sorry for any mistakes.

It has been ages since you've stepped into a gym, the last time being when you had your Volleyball awards for the last time of your third year. You take a big whiff of the air around you and breathe out slowly and deeply, relishing in the smell of fresh, new, leather volleyballs coming into the start of the new season.

Even though you've never been in your school's gym yet, your feet somehow know their way to the back near the locker rooms and stop right in front of the tryout list. You grab the black pen hanging from a white rope thumb-tacked onto the corkboard and sign your name on the list with your preferred position next to it; setter.

You've heard rumors that your school's previous setter had to drop out of school, and they didn't have a replacement, which left the position wide open for you to steal. You used to be the setter on the Karasuno's female team, and you were quite good, but it's been two years out of practice and you knew you'd need to shape up again before tryouts.

Once you leave the gym, you drop off your aide ID in the front office where you have your last period, community services, which is basically a freebie class as it's just volunteer work, but regardless it was one of your favorites, and you head back to the parking lot to find your car and drive back to your apartment.

You pull into your parking spot a little after 4pm and head into your place. Most people would describe it as quaint, but that was fine with you because it was yours, and it was affordable. The moment you set your things down on your nightstand, you pull out your phone and dial your brother's number.

"Hey y/n."

"Hey Asahi how's it going?"

"Not too bad, I'm just working on some new designs for the season."

"Oh cool, send me a pic of them I wanna see."

"Ha, when I'm done with the first outfit I will."

"Good, anyways I have a favor to ask."

"Anything, what is it?"

"Well, I had signed up for volleyball tryouts today an-

"Oh wow, that's great! I was wondering if you'd pursue it again."

"Yeah, thanks! Anyways I wrote my name down for the setter position and I was wondering if you'd be able to help me with that."

"2 things, you're already a fantastic setter, and I was the Ace. Don't know the first thing about setting."

"No, I know, I was going to ask if you'd give me Suga's number. He told me if I needed to practice to call him and he'd always be down to help."

"Oh! Yeah, I can send you his number."

"Great, thanks Asahi!"

"No worries, love ya, and remember to save me a seat for your first game."

"Love ya too and thanks."

You hang up the phone and get the notification Asahi sent you and click on it to add the number to your contacts. Once you save it, you dial the number and hope someone picks up.

"Hello this is Mr.Sugawara, may I ask who's calling?"

The gentle, yet velvety voice from the man sends a once familiar tingle to between your legs and you stifle it as you remember why you called him in the first place.

"Mr.Sugawara huh? That's what you like being called now."

"Excuse me?"

"I remember how fond of it you were when I used to call you Muffin."

"Hah, oh it's you, hi y/n."

"Hi Muffin, how are you?"

"Good, and how about you butterfly?"

"I'm fantastic now that I'm talking to you. Uh but speaking of Butterflies, I actually have a favor."

"Hm?"

"Would you be down for helping me practice being a setter?'

"Aren't you one already?"

"Was, now I'm back and I'm about 2 years out of practice so I need help."

"Well in that case I'll help. Where are we meeting?"

"Not sure yet, I don't have access to the gym after school hours."

"No worries, I'll send you the address to my place, I have a community gym."

"Great, would Saturday afternoon be okay?"

"Tomorrow?"

"Yeah."

"Sure, I have to finish grading paperwork but I'll talk to you soon."

You both say your goodbyes and hang up. A smile beams on your face from his acceptance and you head off to your kitchen to eat your dinner and head to bed to start the day tomorrow.

You wake up at 8am sharp and do your daily routine of skincare, teeth, hair, and makeup. After doing it all you make your bed and finish packing up a go-bag for the gym later and throw in your pair of volleyball shoes, before you place them in the bag you glaze over the black velvet and smile brightly at the thought of you getting to wear them again. You also throw in your knee pads and head out to your normal breakfast place, the cafe near your house.

A few hours pass and you and Suga are ready to meet. You input the address into maps and head off. When you arrive, the first thing you notice is the large keypad in front of the very large and intricate black iron gate protecting the housing community. You input the numbers he had given you and driven around the bend and pull into a parking lot to which you assume is the gym. You exit the car and grab your bag and things and head into the front doors where you're greeted by somebody.

"Hello, welcome to Errice Park Gym, may I see your community ID?"

"Sorry?" You ask the woman with a tilt of your head.

"Apologies, but only members with community IDs may access the gym?"

"Okay, how may I get one?" You ask the lady while leaning your elbows on the desk. You have to hold back a scoff from how uptight all this seems and from the way she is eyeing you.

"Do you live here miss?"

"No, I don't"

"Unfortunately our services are only avail-"

She gets cut off by the large and wonderfully manicured hand that had been placed on the countertop in the commotion.

"She is my guest, ID 352."

"Of course Mr.Sugawara my apologies." She turns to look at you, the look on your face is a mix of flustered and amazed at the same time. "Enjoy your visit." She bows her head to you and Suga nods his head towards the hallway he came from and beckons you to follow.

"Wow, Koshi I didn't think you'd made this much money being a teacher to live in a place like this."

"Perks of being a private school teacher." He says with a rub of his neck.

You take in the features you haven't seen in a few years now. He still has his iconic gray hair and mole with the piercing brown eyes that have always made you swoon, but his physique and prowess have gotten more large and defined than you remember, and it isn't a bad thing. You trail your eyes down from walking behind him and notice his ass has gotten bigger too, doesn't help that he's already in a pair of gym shorts that hug his form perfectly...and the thighs, you have to practically wipe the drool from your lip.

You've never been good at hiding your thoughts about Koshi, he knows it and just about everyone else too, but neither of you have acted on it, for reasons mostly due to him. So, you reluctantly push all your flirtatious comments aside and try to focus on why you are here.

After catching up and making small talk while walking through various hallways, Koshi leads you to a far back door which leads to an even bigger area with no one else inside of it, and itself is a community volleyball court.

"Holy shit this place has everything."

"Mm, just about."

He closes the door behind you guys and walks you over to a few bleachers set up on the side and you set your things down.

"It's good to see you again Butterfly, you look great."

"Thanks, Muffin you do too."

You both smile at each other before he chuckles and pulls you into a hug, which lasts longer than expected. You pull away and tuck hair away from your face.

"I was surprised you called, I didn't realize you kept my number."

"I got it from my brother."

"Oh, how's Asahi doing?"

"Really good actually, his clothing line is really taking off." You talk with high praise of your brother.

"Amazing, I'm proud of him. We haven't talked as much as I'd like but I've missed him."

"Me too."

"I've missed you too."

"Oh.."

Your breath feels shallow as you suck in some air from the look he gives you as you notice him trailing your body. He smiles as he does, with his normal boyish charm but you can't help but feel some other sense behind it.

Not wanting to drag on, you and Koshi decide to get on with it and start. He shows you the locker room to change and after you come back out, you both do stretches and begin.

Unfortunately for you, you are way more out of practice than you realize. Koshi starts off slow for you, throwing you serves you should be able to easily set but everything is off; your form, your fingertip placement, your focus, it's just not there. You lost count of how many balls have bounced out of bounds or how many net shots you've set, it's honestly embarrassing.

After this last set, you groan and squat down to the floor and throw your head back in frustration. Suga shakes his head and chuckles and sits next to you.

"Well, to be blunt, you kinda suck." Suga says poking fun at you.

"Yeah, I know." You groan again and throw yourself backward and land with a small thunk of your head hitting the polished wood of the court. You rub the back of your head with your fingertips and hear a snort come from Suga.

You feel soft fingertips rub your bare thigh above the knee as Suga's voice tries to comfort you.

"Hey now, you're just out of practice it's okay."

"I know but I shouldn't be that bad."

"It happens, and that's why I'm here."

He squeezes your leg delicately and you turn your head to look at him as he looks at you. You both smile at each other and he squeezes your thigh again.

"You're cute."

You get immediately flustered and look up and away from him.

You hear him giggle before he pats your leg and reaches a hand out to help you up. You take it and pop up before he holds onto your lower back to stabilize you while you stand.

"Let's do some more exercises okay? Then well call it a day and come back tomorrow."

"Okay."

You follow Suga into the middle of the court and stand in front of him as he instructs you which exercises to do to better your form, he also goes into explaining how they'll help. So far you've done lunges, jumping jacks, toe touches, and now you're onto squats.

"You can do better than that Butterfly."

He says pointing to your high squat and mocks at it.

"My thighs hurt." You whine.

"The burn means it's working." He smiles at you and you stick your tongue out in return. "Come on, seriously I know you can go lower. "

"No, I can't" You tease.

"Yes you can," he teases back. "Be good and get your ass low." His voice changes from playful to husky in a heartbeat. It gives you whiplash and you can't help but feel a tingle in your core. You gulp but as much as you try you can't seem to get lower.

"Let's go Y/n." He says stepping closer to you in that same husky tone.

"I'm trying."

"Not hard enough."

You roll your eyes and it doesn't go unnoticed. You feel two strong grips on your thighs right before the hem of your spandex and you lock eyes with his. The normal gaze of flirtation and comfort is replaced by seriousness and hunger? His eyes stay locked with your as you feel his hands push down on your thighs adding weight and you feel your calves and hamstrings almost give out. You grit your teeth and clench your hips where your hands rest but you never break eye contact. When you get to an acceptable squat for Suga, he looks down where his hands are and slowly pulls away.

"Good girl, I knew you could do it." He practically whispers the first part but you catch it as you shakily stand up from your squat.

You can tell that your core is instantly flooded from those words and the way his gaze held yours. You try to subtly adjust yourself by squeezing your thighs together but unbeknownst to you, Suga catches it.

Neither of you acknowledge what was said and start gathering your belongings and cleaning up your mess. After the both of you finish, you begin chatting like nothing had happened.

You two say your goodbyes and give hugs before parting ways as you agree to meet again here tomorrow at the same time. You hide your eagerness to go home and shower and relax and practically speed back.

The next morning comes and you had a rather specific wet dream about your tutor. You couldn't stop dreaming about his hands on your thighs and his words of praise next to your ear, the way his fingertips felt on your thighs. It was unbearable not being able to feel it in person last night.

This morning went by rather quickly as you do your normal routine and change into an acceptable outfit and you made it to the gym rather quick. Suga was waiting for you in the front lounge this time to avoid the concierge, and you both made it back to the same empty court you were in yesterday.

"Hey butterfly, how'd you sleep?"

He asks smiling at you at his smile reaches his eyes as he hugs you and helps grab your bag. His adorable mole catches your eyes in the process.

You think back to the wet dreams you had and throw your hair into a bun to get ut out of your face and you blush as a particular scene you remember comes to mind.

"Oh, uh, I slept well."

"That's good. Did you have any good dreams? I had a few that were really nice."

He says giving you a sly wink and a smirk.

"Actually no, rather uneventful." You lie, trying to avoid looking him in the eyes.

He chuckles as he sets your bag on the bench and takes off his black gym jacket and sets it next to your bag. You gulp as you see him stretch his arms over his head and watch as his shoulders pop and muscles ripple from the stretch and you have to lick your lips at the sudden dehydration you're feeling.

"Wow, you've gotten hotter since the last time I saw you."

"You saw me yesterday."

"Yes, but you weren't showing your amazing arms yesterday. Instantly hotter." You say with a wave of your hand over his body and he just shakes his head and smiles.

"Uh-huh, come on let's stretch first."

You both begin doing the same stretches as yesterday and a few new ones you decided to throw in that you remembered from high school. The final one you do is a toe touch but you just can't seem to stretch all the way down from the cramp in your lower back and Suga takes notice. He gets up from his butterfly squat and walks up behind you and very gingerly grabs your hips, his fingertips barely ghosting under the waistband of your spandex shorts. You inhale a sharp breath when you feel his pelvis against your ass and can't help but bite your lip as you realize what he's doing. He places a hand on the small of your back and pushes you down.

"Suga, what are you doing?" You say flirtily.

"Just trying to help you stretch, you seemed stiff is all."

He says while pulling away. Before he does, you grab his wrist and place it back on your hip.

"No don't, it's helping."

You say turning your neck and smirking at him as he grinds his pelvis into you more and pushes you further down till you reach your toes and hear a pop come from your back and he pulls away with a little disappointment to you. You groan and stand back up and notice Suga has moved a few steps away from you now. A short look of confusion crosses your face but you decide to ignore it for now and grab a ball to begin practicing.

The practice goes by quick with no other distractions and surprisingly no mess-ups from you. You've always been a quick learner so there's been a definite improvement since yesterday. When the session ends, you walk over to the bench to grab your bag to change but Suga's voice catches you before you walk away.

"Hey butterfly, do you have plans later?"

He asks before sipping from his bottle. Your eyes catch a single drop of water slide out from the corner of his mouth and roll down his face to his neck, down to his collarbones, and into his shirt. You've never been more jealous of water in your life.

"Not really, I was just gonna go home and clean."

"Would you like to go out for dinner with me?"

He says topping off the bottle and wiping his forehead with a rag to get rid of the sweat.

"Sure, any particular reason why?" You ask while taking off your shoes to change into sandals to let your feet air out.

"No particular reason, just as friends. Two grown friends catching up."

You chuckle at his tone and nod your head in agreement.

"Oh, of course, my mistake. Just let me know where we are going and I'll be there around 7, that okay?"

"Yeah, I'll text it to you."

You finish getting ready to leave and head out into the parking lot together but before you get into your car, Suga slides his hand underneath your arm and stops you.

"It's entirely up to you, but you should wear something you can move around in, like a skirt or dress or something. They have a dance floor there and I just want you to be prepared you know?"

"Thanks for the heads up Muffin."

"Of course, wouldn't want you to be unprepared in case we decide to dance together or anything." His voice drops an octave as he squeezes your arm tighter before smiling and letting you go.

You make it home quickly and shower and lounge around in your towel for a while as you have a couple hours to spare. You decide to clean your house, make some lunch and pay some bills until you're supposed to get ready to leave and you get dressed and entirely ready and head to the location Suga sent you. You put it into your maps and chuckle when you realize he just sent you his address as the location is only a few buildings away from the gym.

You arrive at his place exactly at 7 and knock on the door and wait for him to answer. You can hear various noises coming from inside and then hear some loud banging noise followed by a few expletives and giggle to yourself before the door opens and Suga stands there with a smile.

He's wearing slim-fitting slacks with a loose t-shirt that shows his arms and his hair is neatly brushed like normal and you can't catch exactly where it's coming from but a slight aroma of vanilla catches your interest.

"Hi, muffin."

"Hi, butterfly."

He sidesteps and lets you into his place before you slide off your shoes and place them on the shoe holder next to his door and set your purse and things on the side table. You turn around and see him lock the door before he turns to you and you catch him eyeing you up and down and takes you into a hug. His hands wander a little low but you don't mind it.

"So, the place has a dancefloor huh?"

"Yeah, in the bedroom, hopefully, we'll see it later."

You chuckle at his forwardness and shake your head as he leads you to his kitchen and you slide onto one of the barstools in front of his countertop.

"Thirsty?" He asks you as he slides a glass of wine towards you.

"I am, but how do you know I'm of age? One of the last times I saw you I was only 17." You say joking around.

"Considering that I'm 4 years older and that was also 4 years ago, I'm sure you are by now."

"Oh, that's right, congrats on making it to 25 muffin." You raise your glass to toast to him and he watches you over his glass as your throat bobs to take in the full shute of wine. You wipe your lip with your thumb and suck off the liquid while staring right at Suga.

He coughs and diverts his attention away from you and to his stove.

"Uhm, hungry? I made a chicken alfredo dish."

"Sounds really good, I'll take a plate."

He makes the plates and you both move to his kitchen table and sit across from each other and dig into the food. The two of you catch up with small talk and discover new interests each other has that neither didn't have before. You talk about new movies and things, which then leads to you both laughing as you reminisce over past memories of when he and Asahi were in school together and all the times he'd come over.

"I remember one of the first games you had that you won and you'd look so cute with that smile on your rosy cheeks. I remember how proud your brother was of you." Suga says while finishing up the last bite of his pasta.

"I remember that day too. You know the reason we won was that I took your advice."

"What advice was that?"

"To make sure my team doesn't see any emotion on my face other than determination. You also told me to keep a close watch on the team and get a view of how they're playing and play to their strengths."

"Good advice."

"Yeah, it really was."

There's a short pause between the two of you. You don't know if he remembers or if you should bring it up but you decide to just say fuck it and do it.

"Koshi, do you remember what else you told me that day?"

Suga is caught off guard as you use his actual name. Hearing it fall from your lips makes him want to hear it over and over again.

"No? What else did I say?"

"That was also the day you found out I didn't have my first kiss. You told me that you'd be more than willing to be my first." You chuckle at the memories of teenage you. "I can't believe I was actually going to take you up on that offer within the next couple of days but then Asahi told me you moved away so I never could."

You didn't notice Suga move from his chair, you didn't notice him walking towards you, and you didn't notice him stand behind your chair as it was all happening so soon. The first thing you felt was his hand brush your hair away from your neck, the next thing you felt was his lips kiss your bare flesh. You feel the chair pull out from the table and you see Suga move to stand in front of you. He blocks you into the chair with his arms on either side of you and his hands tightly grasping the arms of the chair. Your mouth runs dry as you see the look of pure hunger he gives you.

"I don't think you understand just how hard I am right now."

You look down to see but before you can he lifts your chin back up to his eyes with his two fingers.

"I didn't tell you to look away from me butterfly. I'm going to kiss you now, and if you don't want this as bad as I do, so help me God stop me now before I can't control myself and rip your clothes off."

Gulp.

You look up at Suga through your eyelashes, and your look is laced with desperation and that's all it takes for him to break control and slam his lips into yours.

His lips feel like pure bliss. They're perfectly smooth and plump enough, just like you'd imagine they'd be. His tongue dances with yours and you can feel each other smile into the kiss as it leads deeper and deeper. His hands retract from the arms of the chair as he sinks down to his knees and drags your face closer to his by twining his fingers into your hair and tugging on them while biting your bottom lip. You both moan into the kiss. The heat radiating off of both of you starts to cause you to feel hot and needy to remove your clothes. Suga seems to notice and he pulls away from your lips and moves to drape kisses all along your collarbone, leaving a few large hickies in the process. He carefully dances his fingertips to under plunge neckline of your shirt and tugs it open to reveal your bare breasts.

"Fuck your tits are gorgeous."

You chuckle as he looks like a pubescent boy looking at boobies for the first time.

"Thank you, baby."

He licks his thumb before rubbing your nipple with it and you can feel it pebble and get hard and let out some whimpers once he pinches it. His tongue laps over your whole breast before he takes the nipple into his mouth and sucks. Your back arches off the chair and your legs slightly spasm.

"Dirty girl, you like your nipples sucked on huh?"

"Yes sir, especially when you do it, it feels so good." You breathe out.

He nibbles on your nipple and bites it with his teeth and tugs before you wince from the pain and he blows and kisses on it to make it feel better. He makes sure to spend an equal amount of time on each breast before moving back up to lock lips with you.

As much as you want him to ravage you, you've been dying to know what he tastes like for years. You break away from the kiss with a moan and he slightly whimpers when you pull away and don't kiss him back. Confusion crosses his face as you push his butt against the table before the confusion is replaced with pure lust as he sees you crouch down onto your knees, letting your butt rest on your heels, and seeing your hands reach out to palm him through his pants.

His eyes squeeze shut when he feels you palm his dick from his boxers.

"Y/n, warning you now, if you suck my dick I will fuck that pretty little face of yours so hard."

You just smirk up at him through your eyelashes and pull him the rest of the way out. You marvel at his beautifully trimmed pubes that rest nicely above his dick and smile to yourself at how giddy you're feeling for getting to suck his dick.

You lick your lips and open your mouth wide enough to fit around his tip which spills a slow moan from his mouth. You notice his palms grip the edge of the table to the point of his knuckles turning pale the moment you swish your tongue around his tip and over his slit. You can tell he's trying to hold back so you decide to ramp it up by extending your jaw more and sucking in a breath before hollowing out your cheeks and taking all of him down your throat to where you feel him behind your tongue. You gage and your eyes prickle with tears but you don't give up when you hear him mutter a "fuck" under his breath. He opens his eyes and you lock yours with his and that's all it takes for him to lose it.

He releases the table and grips your hair into the messiest of ponytails and tugs before pulling you completely off of him before shoving himself all the way back into your mouth. You gag, and you gag hard but you don't care, it feels so damn good in your mouth and the noises he is making you've never heard before. You reach down to touch yourself but all movements stop and you hear him reprimand you in the slightest whisper.

"Babygirl, I didn't say you could touch yourself. If your fingers even graze your pussy I will bend you over this table and smack your ass till it's black and blue."

You can't speak but you nod your head vigorously in agreement and gulp, with his dick still inside your mouth. Spit is pooling out of the corners of your lips, you probably look so filthy and you actually become a little jealous of Suga for not being able to see yourself like this.

"Good girl, good fucking girl."

He says before he slams his cock hard down your throat again. His head slowly falls backwards as his hands tighten in your hair and bobs your head faster and faster, not even taking the time to slow down or care about the makeup running down your face from your tears. You're enjoying being face fucked a little too much.

His hips are thrusting sloppier and he's loosened his grip but he still is relentless with your mouth and it makes you so desperately wonder what he'll be like when he's actually inside of you. His moans are becoming sporadic and you can barely make out his sentence warning you he's gonna come but you don't care and just brace yourself for when he does. Wanting to help him more, you reach a hand up and cup his balls while using the other to stroke his shaft with your mouth and he moans out too many expletives to count from the tingles throughout his body. His hips come to a stop and you can feel the warm, salty load fall down your throat. You make sure to take it all before shutting your eyes and swallowing it all, making sure he gets a good view of it, and he helps you stand back up and kisses you so passionately.

"Fuck, your mouth is dangerous."

"Thanks."

You say with a smile and giggle. He kisses you once more before you both stop and turn your heads to the countertop where his phone is ringing.

"Fuck it, I want you right now."

"No, Suga it could be important, it's okay. I'm going to get some water and wipe down anyways."

"Okay, I'll be quick sweetheart."

He kisses your lips slowly before quickly diving down and giving the top of your bare breast a quick kiss which makes you giggle.

You both separate and go into different rooms for your business. You head off down the hallway into the first door on the right and turn on the light and walk to the sink.

You grab some toilet paper and spit whatever remains of the cum in your mouth, into the paper and throw it in the trash. You then turn on the faucet and cup your hands to grab some water and you take a few slurps before swishing it around and spitting it out down the drain. You wash your hands good before using a rag to fix whatever makeup has smudged on your face and smile at yourself in the mirror when you see the ring of love bites around your breasts and how good your nipples look while swollen.

You shut off the bathroom lights and close the door behind you and walk back into the dining room where you left Suga. On the walk there you fixed your shirt as the intimacy has worn off a little and you started to feel awkward having your tits out and nothing else. You step in the room and see Suga has fixed himself as well and he's cleaning up dishes.

"You need some help baby?"

You ask while moving to stand to his side and help him.

"No, its-I'm alright I got it."

He says rather quick and moves from you to finish grabbing the dishes and placing them in the sink.

"You okay Koshi?" You ask concerned at his sudden attitude change. "Bad phone call?"

"Uhm, no, it was a good one it just...was your brother calling."

"Oh...oh.."

"Yeah, it was nice to hear from him but it made me feel like shit to betray his trust like that. I'm sorry y/n but can I walk you out?"

He says slowly turning towards you with an extremely downturned smile.

"What?" You ask stunned. "Koshi, what trust? You want me to leave? I'm so confused."

"It's nothing, it's fine. Look I just need a moment to process what had happened and it's getting late and I don't want you to get be late for class tomorrow."

"Oh..yeah..right, of course."

You don't say another word and quietly grab all of your things and walk over to the door to slip on your shoes. Suga is quiet the whole time too but he still walks over to the door with you while holding your phone for you.

"Are we-Can we still meet up for practice tomorrow? My tryouts are at the end of the week."

You ask him without meeting his eyes.

"Yeah, of course, I wouldn't bail on you like that. I'm sorry it's just th-

"Stop," You raise a hand up to his chest and smile. "It's alright Koshi, just stop before it gets worse. Goodnight and thanks for the lovely dinner tonight."

"You're welcome, thanks for being a great friend and guest."

Friend, that word pings your heart and makes it teeter-totter inside of your chest, almost like it might fall straight out of it.

You don't say anything more and just brave a smile and head out before getting back into your car, pulling out, and storming home.

In all honesty, the trip from Suga's house to yours shouldn't have taken you an hour but it did. A normal ten-minute drive turned into an hour from you having to pull over more than a few times from having to deal with the overflow of emotions coursing through you. You also had to stop yourself a couple times from turning back around and giving him an earful but you decided to let it go. In actuality, you weren't even mad, you weren't sad, you weren't even regretful over what happened you were just utterly confused the whole time. However, you decided to stop racking your brain trying to figure it out and gave up once you pulled into your parking spot and walked home into your living room.

You dropped your stuff off into where they belong and you make your way to your room and strip off all your clothes before throwing them into the hamper and heading to the en suite to take a shower and disregard the whole experience.

Friend.

The word brings such a bitter and useless taste to your mouth when you heard it fall from Sugas lips. That word, you thought of it the whole time you were in the shower, and you scrubbed your body so hard to try and get the "friendzone" off of you.

The shower stops and you step out and dry off before not even bothering to change and head to bed naked and plug in your phone, set an alarm for tomorrow, and shut off the lights and fall into an anxious sleep.

The morning comes too soon at the detriment of the bags under your eyes. You snap your alarm off and rub your temples before stretching and getting out of bed. You quickly get dressed and back your go bags for school and practice afterward and finish all your necessities of getting ready and you head to class bright and early.

Your classes run through quicker than normal and now comes the part you were trying to postpone doing, seeing Suga.

Hesitantly, you send a text to Suga making sure it's still on and he replies with a thumbs up before you shut off your phone and head to the gym.

The ride was brutal due to the thoughts running laps in your head. Conflicting memories of last night combine together and now thoughts of further rejection pierce your brain and you can't deal with it. You arrive at the gym and try to shake off the thoughts but they don't budge. So you do the only thing you know how to do to get rid of the bad thoughts, you confront what's making them happen.

You shut off your car and grab your keys and phone, not even paying a second mind to your bags in the backseat. You walk into the gym and just give a side-eye to the receptionist and strut straight back to the gym and push the double doors open with a flourish.

You're about to start yelling at Suga to give him your two cents but notice the gym is empty. You look around confused but then get a notification on your phone and see that he sent you a text saying he's still at his house and running late.

You walk out the same way you came in, get back in your car, and drive to his apartment before stopping, getting out, and knocking on his door.

"Hey, I was just about to head out."

Suga says as he opens the door.

You walk in without saying a word and place your shoes and things into a bin next to his front door and turn around to talk to him as he closes his door.

"Y/N?"

"What the hell Suga?"

"I'm sorry?"

"Last night, what you said. What happened when you called my brother, what did he or you say? What trust did you break last night?"

You ask while placing your hands on your hips.

He drops his head before wiping his face and walking towards the dining room as he talks to you.

"Nothing, honest. He didn't even know you were here he was just calling to catch up and stuff."

"So why push me out all of a sudden? What trust Suga??"

"Damnit, y/n the trust of a dude and not going after his best friend's little sister. That kind of trust."

"Seriously Koshi? I get what you mean by that but we are adults now and as far as I know, Asahi has never had any ill feelings about us being close or being together."

"No, I know but it's an unspoken rule type of thing."

"Koshi that's bullshit, if that was true then you wouldn't have invited me on a date here in the first place."

"It was just supposed to be as friends."

Vomit, the word makes you want to vomit.

"There's that word again. Friends, Koshi, really?"

You move closer to the kitchen table and towards him. You look up at him and a smile comprised of lust and anger stretches onto your face.

"Friends don't grind on each other during Volleyball practice. Friends don't tell other friends to wear skirts for easy access. Friends don't kiss and swap spit on this very chair. Friends don't get down on their knees, push you up against this table and blow you till you're busting a load down their throat."

You take a breath and swallow while you notice the tension in the room and him walking closer to you with a determined look on his face.

"Tell me how we're just friends, after all that Muffin."

You say the nickname as a jab at him, with both of you knowing damn well either of the nicknames were what you used to flirt with each other.

He moved closer into your personal space, chests only inches apart but neither of you moving to touch the other quite yet.

"You're right butterfly, we're not just friends. Because during your whole little rant, I couldn't stop thinking about how I want to break this table by fucking you on it."

Gulp.

"What's stopping you?"

"Absolutely nothing."

The tension wire snaps and the moment it does you both are on each other like dogs to a bone. Your tongues mesh with each others in perfect sync. You don't know where your hands are at this point, all you know is they're stripping off every piece of clothing each other is wearing. The second everything is off of your bodies, Suga picks you up and gently places your ass against the cold wood of the dining table, and gets down onto his knees.

You're about to protest but the moment you feel his warm, wet tongue lapping in between your folds like a man starved, all knowledge of how to speak completely dissolves from your brain. All you managed to say is a jumble of "don't stop" and "fuck that feels so good", but in all honesty it sound like baby babbling. Your hands knot into the grey locks of the hungry man underneath you and you tug as hard as you can when he nips at your clit and your legs, embarrassingly, start to spasm already.

"Ho, God, fuck."

You moan out.

His tongue swirls endless circles around your clit and he sucks and bites and blows at your clit, leaving you speechless. It's not until you feel two fingers prod at your hole that you really start to shake. You crave him so much, even your pussy practically pulls in his fingers as he rests them there against the hole. He starts out with slow, shallow pumps before he speeds up the pace of his tongue and fingers and goes knuckle deep inside of you drawing out the most guttural moans you've ever made.

You've never had your legs spasm so much from oral before. You feel your core start to tighten and flex and you feel the sweat form on your brow and upper lip as your hair falls out around you from the thrashing of your body at the pleasure. Your hand tugs harder and you're worried you might be hurting him, but if you are he absolutely doesn't mind it. Your mouth runs dry and the dam breaks once you feel him scissor you while being knuckle deep in your pussy. Your orgasm echoes through the house as you shake around him and as his delicious tongue helps you through it all.

"What a good fucking girl cumming for me like that. I'm so proud of you baby."

"Holy fu- fuck. Th-thank you baby."

You just barely speak as you pant to try and calm down, but not for long when you feel him place one last kiss on your pussy before standing up and trace kisses from your hips all the way up to your breasts, showing each endless love, and moving to your lips and letting you taste yourself all over his face.

"You taste yourself right? Taste how fucking delicious you are."

He says while opening your mouth forcefully and spitting into it, which is then followed by you smiling as you swallow it and show him. He laughs so lustfully before wiping the corner of your mouth and placing the two fingers he used in you into your mouth and chokes you with them. You gag and gulp after swirling your tongue around them and when he pulls away he uses those fingers to open you up again before leaning you back down onto the table and stepping closer to line himself up with you.

"Are you on the pill? Want me to grab a condom?"

"Yeah I am, and no, I want to feel all of you."

He agrees with a kiss and bite of your lip and neck before he takes his hand and pumps himself a few times and spits in his hand and rubs his cock before using his other hand to open your lips and he teases your clit with the head of his dick and you both moan at the feeling.

"Fuuck stop it baby I want you so bad."

"I know baby girl, just be patient for me."

He chuckles as he feels you squirm under him when his tip hits a sensitive part of your clit and he uses an arm to hold you down and distract you before he lines up and slowly stretches you out, letting you adjust slowly.

"Holy fuck."

You both say in unison, but with different breaths, as you both feel the pleasure of finally being connected together. He slowly starts to rock his hips into yours and bottoms out inside of you while letting your pussy adjust, and when he thinks you have he pulls out and slams back into you. Your body and the table jerk as he does and you wrap your arms around his shoulders as he has both hands around your head and is looking into your eyes as he fucks you.

It's pure ecstasy. The two of you, this position, its everything you've wanted. All the years of pining after your brother's best friend. All the repressed feelings you've had for him. All the times relationships or one-night-stands couldn't do it for you cause all you thought about was how it would be if your childhood crush, the man you loved, was the one doing it to you. And now you know. Now you know just how blissful it all truly feels. It's better than you imagined.

His hips are pistoning into yours at a ridiculous pace and you start to feel a burn from your legs being spread wide open but you don't care. It feels too amazing to quit. Moans never stopped flowing from either of your lips and his fingertips burn holes straight into your skin from how tight he's gripping you, like you might fly away if he stops. Without missing a beat, he switches positions by gripping the back of your thighs and pushing them into your chest to where your ears kiss your knees and you see your feet shaking in the air at an unbelievable pace from how he's fucking you. This position makes it impossible to not cum. You feel the familiar tightening and spasms and pants as you're being drawn closer and closer and you can tell he is too as his pants have become more sporadic. He bends down and pushes your thighs further into you, going deeper, and kisses your lips and smiles before whispering in your ear.

"Your cunt feels so fucking good wrapped around my cock baby girl. You're doing so good at taking all of me that I'm about to cum in that pretty pussy of yours."

"Ohhhh.....fu-fuck Koshi baby please."

"Yeah, baby? You want me to fill that beautiful hole of yours? You wanna get filled with my kids? Become a mommy, is that what you want? My kids?"

What he's lacking in breaths, he's making up for in confidence, and it's driving you crazy. You just about cum from his words right there.

"Yes baby fuck, fuck Koshi baby I want you to make me a mommy so bad. Fill me up baby, I wanna be filled by you so badly."

You whimper and whine and he loses it.

Koshi slams harder and faster and your vision goes white as the last thrust had you seeing stars. Your orgasm absolutely wrecks you as you cum around him and you can feel his cock release inside you and fill you to the brim with his cum.

He stays inside of you, letting the cum fall from around his cock in you and he slowly drops your legs to not hurt you and he leans down to place an endless amount of kisses all over your lips and face. You hear a few words like "beautiful" and "thank you" but they all go in one ear and out the other as you calm down but the one you hone in on is the words "love".

"Y/n, baby did you hear me?"

"No I didn't, what?"

"I said I love you, I don't know to what extent or how long I have but I just remember how much I cared for you when we were younger and it all came rushing back. I love you, baby."

Tears threaten to spill but you hold them back.

"Oh Koshi, I love you too."

You both kiss each other deeply and he pulls away and both of you whine when he pulls out of you and you feel the cum drip out of your hole and Koshi growls to himself at the sight before going and grabbing a wet rag to wipe you down.

He comes back a few seconds later and wipes you down while giving you kisses in the process and discarding the rag somewhere and picking you up gently and walks you back to his bedroom and gently place you down onto the mattress and cuddles up next to you.

You both whisper sweet nothings to each other before finally dozing off and enjoying the beautifulness that is sleep.

XXXXXX

"COME ON! Y/N, YOU GOT THIS BABY!"

You hear your boyfriend yell to you from the bleachers while you're playing your match. You hear the rest of your family yell along in unison with him, even your brother, in cheer for you to keep your morale up.

It's your final match before nationals. Your team managed to beat every team you've battled against and everyone's trying their best but this match is neck and neck-literally. You've never been so short-necked with a team before but this college is good. Your team is only one point ahead, and you only need one more point to win this whole thing and make it to nationals. It all comes down to this moment, this volley.

You focus back on the game and notice the ball ahead coming for the net, the player in front of you tosses the ball high in the air for the spiker to hit, and they do, but not before it's being received back to them by your other teammates. You hear various calls of "got it!' and "Mine!" but the blood rushing to your ears entirely drowns out everything when you realize this is up to you, to set the perfect ball for your Ace to hit and win the game. No pressure.

You think back to the first training session with Suga all those months ago. You're so thankful that he picked up that phone the one day you called. You're thankful for it all and everything that happened afterward.

The overwhelming emotion of joy surges through you and you finally spot the perfect shot, the perfect opportunity.

"Azumane, Y/n, It's yours and open!"

Your captain yells to you as she bumped the ball towards you. You remain quiet and get into position and hone in on the ball. You turn and see your Ace making her way closer, and closer, and closer, and- NOW!

You set the ball into the air and watch as time slows as you see her hand connect with the ball.

Time stops.

And when it resumes, chaos ensues.

The crowd erupts into thunderous cheers and the buzzer rings to declare a winning team, yours!

Your teammates go wild, some fall to their knees and kiss their hands, some jump up and down into each other's arms, some run to their significant others, but you remain still. You take in what happened till it finally hits you that you won, you did it.

You scream out in victory with your hands above your head and you cry tears you've held in all day.

You feel two strong arms wrap around you and look to see your boyfriend with the widest smile on his face squeeze you and kiss you all over in awe.

Even though no words are said, you both understand everything.

You kiss each other and pull away as your team calls you other to celebrate and you join them but not before sneaking one last kiss to your boyfriend.

"Thank you for being a good coach, Muffin."

You wink and walk away.

"Anytime, Butterfly."

86 notes · View notes

sharkboygirlish · 3 years

Text

Messy.

ONE-SHOT

Word count: 2793

Disclaimer: One piece and all it’s characters belong to Eiichiro Oda, I just like to write about them.

Warning: None

Rating: T (i guess?? there’s cursing)

Author’s Note: Whale, this is the first fanfic I’ve posted on the interwebs since high school so please keep that in mind, lol. I do plan to finish it sooner than later so check back in a few days if you want to read the rest, sorry I don’t have it all done right now. At long last it it FINISHED.

Feel free to tell me what u think! Unless it’s mean, then I ask that u keep those thoughts in ur noggin because I’m just writing these for fun not for grades.

Without further ado, here ya go.

Author’s Note pt 2: So i didn’t end up going the smut route like I originally planned, but I think it worked out better bc this one got nice and Emotional.

Summary: Zoro really shouldn’t agree to be Nami’s drinking partner if he wanted to keep their friendship from getting... Complicated.

__________________________________________

The moon was floating high in the night sky when Nami wandered onto the deck, unable to sleep even after a few hours of sketching.

She wanted company – specifically, she wanted the company of the crew’s resident alcoholic. It only took a few minutes to find him on the lawn deck with his back against a tree and his eye closed. ‘How typical.’

Nami smiled a small, excited smile as she strode over to him and squatted between his parted legs. An unconscious sigh left her nose as she swept her gaze up and down his face. She caught herself thinking, ‘He really is easy on the eyes isn’t he.’ ....again.

Who was she kidding? She’d been thinking the same thing every time she looked his way lately.

Two years ago she’d been able to keep the immature crush she had on him locked tightly away but somehow - it had gotten out and was slowly consuming her entire being.

Nami hoped he hadn’t noticed how often she invited him to drink with her because she didn’t think she could handle being rejected. So she settled for spending time alone with him whenever and however she could.

“Hey, moss-head,” the navigator said finally, leaning in to squint at him, “Are you asleep?”

He had literally just settled down for a nice cat nap when the navigator appeared suddenly to interrupt him. ‘Damn. What the hell did she want now?’

Instead of answering, Zoro chose to ignore her and pretend like he was deep asleep. ‘Why won’t she go bother someone else?’

Nami started prodding his cheek with one finger to rouse him if he really was sleeping, ”Zorooo wake up, I wanna drink,” she whined and his eyelid opened instantly.

‘Why’s she so damn pretty..’ was the first thought he had when he realized that she was a lot closer than he’d anticipated.

He mentally chastised himself after, trying to remind his id that Nami had never once indicated that she wanted to be anything other than friends and he should respect that.

But… There was no harm in looking from time to time was there? And she was pretty. She’d always been... ‘Oh for fuck’s sake, now he sounded like Sanji. He needed to get a grip.’

“Helloooooo,” Nami waved her hand in Zoro’s face until he snapped back to reality and snatched her wrist up, pulling it away. He scowled but it wasn’t deep, and now he was refusing to look her in the eye. “What was that about, huh Zoro?”

“Nothing.” The swordsman replied perhaps a little too quickly to avoid suspicion, “Thought I heard a noise, doesn’t matter – oi, didn’t you want to do something?”

He couldn’t remember what exactly it was. He’d been so distracted by the way her bangs framed her face and sometimes got caught in her eyelashes—’Damnit! He was doing it again.’

Nami smirked again but didn’t press the subject anymore. She’d do that later once they started drinking. “Weren’t you listening to me? You’re so rude, maybe I should find someone else to share my booze with.”

Was it a good idea to go drink with Nami when he kept catching himself thinking about feelings that he’d been suppressing for the last two years? Probably not…

But he couldn’t just decline an opportunity to get buzzed. ‘And... Maybe he wanted to get buzzed with Nami, specifically.’

Zoro scoffed, mostly at himself. “Quit playing games, damnit, do you want me to drink with you or not?”

“You’re so stubborn,” The navigator teased with a pleased smile that made his heart beat unevenly, “I could care less if you join me, but you’re not allowed to come unless you say you’ll be nice.”

“Nami. I am older than you, quit treating me like a fucking child or I swear-”

“That’s no way to talk to a lady who’s getting you drunk for free, Roronoa Zoro. If you can’t be nice then I’ll just add the cost of everything you drink to your debt and-”

Zoro didn’t have time to ruminate over the way hearing her say his full name made him shiver because he had to shut her up before she did charge him.

“Okay, okay. I’ll be... nice.” He hissed through gritted teeth and her answering giggle made his pulse flutter. He had to fight to keep himself from smiling. ‘What the hell was going on with him tonight? Was he sick?’

“Good boy,” she turned and started walking towards the Sunny’s aquarium bar, glancing back over her shoulder to make sure he was coming.

“Don’t push your luck, woman.” Zoro snarled to mask his confusion over the sudden need to touch her that he felt scratching at the back of his head. He really shouldn’t agree to be Nami’s drinking partner if he wanted to keep their friendship from getting... Complicated.

He knew it, but he followed her up the stairs all the same.

* * *

“Why d’you always want to drink with me anyway, witch?” Skeptical of her intentions, his narrowed eye fixed itself on Nami as she approached him holding two maroon tinted bottles. She offered one to him and he accepted it – but he didn’t let his guard down yet.

Zoro lowered his gaze to check the label out, whistling long and low when he read 23% alcohol per volume. A couple puzzle pieces clicked together in his head ‘Oh, that’s why. Because if she tried to drink this with anyone else they’d pass out after two glasses.’

“Would you believe that I just like hanging out with you?” Though her tone was teasing she was actually being genuine, she had a lot of fun with him whenever they went out.

“No–“ He paused when Nami kicked him in the shin hard enough to make him swear. Reaching down with his free hand he rubbed the sore patch of skin and glared daggers at his crewmate. “What the fuck was that for?!”

“You said you’d be nice, Zoro! So be nice or I’ll charge you a hundred thousand beris for that bottle.” Nami uncorked hers but waited to hand the corkscrew over until he behaved himself. The look he was giving her would probably frighten a small child but she didn’t flinch.

‘This was his choice.’ He reminded himself. Of his own free will he chose to get drunk with Nami instead of napping, and that meant dealing with her bossiness no matter how much he loathed it. ‘Sometimes he just wanted to grab her by the shoulders and make her shut up, there were better things her mouth could be doing anyway-‘

“Why do you keep staring at me like that, do I have a zit or something?”

Zoro sat up so fast that he banged his shoulder on the underside of the countertop. ‘What the hell was that? What the hell was wrong with him?’ He hadn’t even opened the damn bottle and he was already making himself look like an idiot.

“No,” the swordsman grumbled, wracking his brain for a believable excuse, “Just thinking about how I’ll owe you money even after I’m dead if you keep charging me for bullshit.” That made her laugh and Zoro cursed himself for how much he liked hearing it. “Don’t see how it’s funny for me, witch.”

Nami let him take the corkscrew from her, eyes crinkled with amusement while he opened his bottle. “You’ll just have to stay alive until you pay me back in full, I guess!” She trilled before taking a long, heavy drink from hers.

“Yeah?” Zoro snorted before mimicking her and downing about half of the wine in the container. It tasted disgusting, which he’d expected, but that didn’t make the bitter aftertaste any less miserable. His nose wrinkled slightly as he set the bottle down. “I bet even if I did try to pay you off you’d find a way to charge me more.”

“You make me sound so heartless,” the navigator batted her eyelashes innocently, pretending to look hurt, “Why would I ever do such a thing?”

“Hah.” He scoffed before chugging some more wine and failing to keep track of how much he was drinking each time. “Because you want to keep me on a leash since I don’t throw myself at you like that dumbass cook.”

An impish smirk crawled it’s way onto Nami’s face that made him immediately regret what he’d just said. ‘Fuck. Damnit!’

“So…” She began slowly, savoring every second that the swordsman spent avoiding direct eye contact with her, “You admit that you are one of my lap dogs?”

A muscle in his jaw flexed and he stopped drinking for one second to grunt, “That’s not what I said.”

“That’s what I heard!” Chimed Nami as she rose from her seat, stepping over to Zoro and tracing a finger under his jaw while he drained the last few drops of liquid. “I should get you a collar, so people know who to bring you to when you get lost.”

Normally he would have snapped at her for poking fun at his sense, or lack thereof, direction but he wasn’t listening to her. She’d come close enough for him to pick up her scent and maybe it was the alcohol intensifying his feelings, but it was suffocating him in a good way.

He loved the way she smelled. Tangerines from her soaps mixed with salty seawater and traces of sunscreen. A hint of orange blossom, but only when she was close to him like this.

Zoro inhaled deeply through his nose and, without realizing it, his expression melted into something affectionate and gentle. ‘In two years she’d changed in so many different ways… but she still smelled the same. She still smelled like home.’

* * *

“What are you thinking about, Zoro?” Her voice void of it’s usual teasing tone, Nami’s curiosity was piqued by his sudden shift in demeanor. He looked soft and peaceful, like he didn’t have anything to worry about. She wanted to know why.

‘Ah, fuck.’ What was he supposed to tell her? That he was thinking about how good she smelled? ‘Yeah right.’ Zoro was quiet for a while, mulling over his words until he came up with an explanation that didn’t sound as creepy – but also wasn’t a lie.

“I guess..” he finally murmured, his gaze shifting to meet hers, “It’s just been a while and… I was thinking about how nice it feels to be back here, with everyone…” a brief pause then he added, “I missed you guys.” ‘Look at him being all gushy and emotional, this wine really was something else.’ Zoro reached to brush his fingertips by her temple, catching a stray lock of hair and tucking it behind her ear, “I missed you.”

When had Zoro ever been this honest with her about the way he felt? Never was the answer, but now he seemed to trust her well enough to know she wouldn’t spill his secrets. Nami took his face in both of her hands, surprising him, and pulled his head down so she could kiss his forehead. “I missed you too, Zoro.”

Something about hearing her say that she’d missed him too broke a dam in his chest that he’d been trying to keep together for two years. Hormoness flooded through his bloodstream quicker than Zoro could even process them and before he knew it he was practically throwing his arms around Nami’s waist and crushing her against his chest.

“Nami—” he pressed his face into her neck to hide the tears that he couldn’t hold back anymore. Sober he might have cared about losing it like this around her but she was here and… ‘He just – needed to hold her.’ Hold her and smell her and feel how real she was because she had almost been taken from him.

‘He’d barely begun to process what he had been through on Thriller Bark when they were attacked in Sabaody. If he tried to think back on it his memories would get hazy and his bones would ache from their very cores. He knew what had happened but it’s like his brain was protecting him from understanding how close to death he’d come. Then – to be torn away from the people he loved with all of his heart? Who he had just nearly killed himself to protect?

It had ripped him apart and rubbed salt into every wound. And it fucking hurt. The same kind of pain he felt when he saw Kuina dead on the floor of their dojo. He was scared, he was furious, he was devastated – all over again but this time it was so much worse. So, so much worse.

That was why he had trained so hard over the last two years. Because he couldn’t bear the grief that came with loving them so deeply – so he got stronger. And stronger. And stronger. No matter the cost to his body, he would become powerful enough to defeat anyone who crossed them. Then… He would never have to feel the agony that he did when he first woke up on Kuraigana Island ever again.

Taking on all of Luffy’s suffering in Thriller Bark had been the most physically painful experience of his entire life – but that was nothing compared to how much it hurt to think that his friends were gone forever, that he hadn’t been able to protect them.

Training made it easy not to think about what had happened -- but now he was home, and they were safe - and he was realizing just how close he’d come to losing all of them. At once. And he could do nothing to stop it.’

Startled by him grabbing her, Nami was prepared to give the pirate a good smack if he was getting handsy but… He started trembling. ‘Was he not feeling well?’ Her mouth opened to form the question then stopped. His breathing hitched while his entire body jerked and she realized…

‘Zoro was crying.’

Roronoa Zoro, who prided himself on his strength, was sobbing wretchedly into her neck. ‘He must have been holding this in since Sabaody.’ Nami’s heart ached for him and his stupid pride that forced him to torture himself instead of letting him cry like he needed to. She’d been expecting him to crash at some point, how couldn’t he? Even someone as strong as Zoro was still a human being.

One of her arms cradled his head while the other wound round his shoulders, her fingers combing gently through his hair. “Oh you sweet, sweet boy…” she spoke in the tone that Bellemere used to use when Nami and Nojiko were frightened by a passing thunderstorm. It always calmed her, maybe it would calm Zoro, too.

‘Quit fucking crying you loser you’re supposed to be a man.’ But he couldn’t, he literally could not stop because he was trying to. “I wasn’t strong enough,” his voice quivered at the edges and he hated it. ‘He was definitely never going to drink this kind of wine again ever. Not if it turned him into a blubbering mess like this every time.’

“Shhh, no. No. Don’t you dare try to blame yourself for what happened. Hey, look at me.” Nami urged his head off her shoulder and cupped his face in both of her palms, “None of us were strong enough, okay? Not even Luffy.” Each tear that fell she tenderly swept away with the pad of her thumb. The corner of her mouth turned up as she assured him, “But we are strong enough now. We can take care of each other. Nothing is ever going to tear us apart again, Zoro.”

‘She was right. Of course, she was right. He needed to have faith in his crewmates and his captain. They could do anything as long as they had each other.’ His breathing slowly evened out as he focused on anchoring himself back to reality. He wasn’t in Sabaody or Kuraigana – he was on the Sunny. In the bar, with Nami who had grown so much since he last saw her. The look in his eye softened like it had before his breakdown.

“You’re staring at me again, Zoro.” The navigator teased, her hands falling to rest on his shoulders. He hadn’t let go of her yet but she didn’t mind, he could hold on to her for as long as he needed.

A ghost of his usual smirk passed across his face. “Sorry, Nami…” Zoro took a little risk by leaning in to press a chaste but lingering kiss to her cheek, then traced a path with the edge of his nose to her ear, murmuring, “Wine makes me a little… Messy.”

#zona #zonami #zoro x nami #zona one-shots #zoro nami fanfiction #zonalove #zoro x nami fanfic

75 notes · View notes

halfmoon-writes · 3 years

Text

『"𝕙𝕪𝕡𝕠𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕥𝕚𝕔𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕪 𝕤𝕡𝕖𝕒𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕘, 𝕚𝕗 𝕤𝕠𝕞𝕖𝕠𝕟𝕖 𝕨𝕖𝕣𝕖 𝕥𝕠 𝕔𝕙𝕒𝕤𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕒 𝕜𝕟𝕚𝕗𝕖 𝕒𝕥 𝟛 𝕒𝕞, 𝕨𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕨𝕠𝕦𝕝𝕕 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕕𝕠?"』

✉ 𝚖𝚘𝚗𝚍𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚍𝚝 𝚎𝚍𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 ✉ 𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚎: 𝚖𝚘𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚗!𝚊𝚞, 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚒𝚜 𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚊 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚘𝚔𝚊𝚢 𝚕𝚖𝚊𝚘 𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐(𝚜): 𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚠𝚎𝚊𝚙𝚘𝚗𝚛𝚢, 𝚋𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚍, 𝚜𝚖𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚜𝚞𝚐𝚐𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖𝚎, 𝚕𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚜𝚠𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 (𝚕𝚎𝚝 𝚖𝚎 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚒𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝚒 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚒𝚗𝚙𝚞𝚝) 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜(𝚜): 𝚍𝚒𝚕𝚞𝚌, 𝚔𝚊𝚎𝚢𝚊, 𝚟𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒, 𝚊𝚕𝚋𝚎𝚍𝚘

☾ diluc

➥ he's probably still in his office at the time, sipping his nth coffee for the night as he glances the paperwork in his desk. mans a busy businessman.

➥ then, his phone rings. he would scowl at the sound then look at the clock. it was 3 am, who would call him at this time?

➥ when he saw your name on the caller, he'd sigh. 'what are they up to this time?' he thought, then pressing the green button.

➥ strong winds and rapid footsteps could be heard from his phone and he grew worried. he let out a small "hello?"

➥ "diluc! baby! love of my life, hi!" you answered, your voice was breathy, as if you've been running for a long time. "what are you doing at this hour, and why is it so loud?" he asked.

➥ he could hear you let out a laugh. your pace didn't falter at all as you let out a small squeak. "hypothetically speaking, if someone were to chase you with a knife at 3 am, what would you do?" you questioned.

➥ his slouched state became tense as he stood upright, phone pressing between his cheeks and shoulder as he hurriedly wear his coat. "run away. where are you right now?" he asked, grabbing his car keys and immediately exiting his workplace.

➥ "my brain is panicking right now I have no idea where I am." you informed, then laughed. he doesn't know why you could laugh at a situation like this, but it felt reassuring to know you're not overly panicking to the point where you couldn't even get help.

➥ "elzier, tend to my workplace while I'm gone. I won't be long." he said as he ran towards the garage. "could you stay on the line with me?" he asked.

➥ "yeah, yeah definitely," you said, taking a deep breath. "my breathing might sound unsightly though, hope you don't mind. I've been running for a while." you took another breath again.

➥ "that's fine. all that matters is that you're safe." he said. by the sound of the slight shuffle in your line (minus the breathing), it seemed like you are currently hiding, or relaxing.

➥ "did you lose them?" he asked. "uhh I think ye—" all of the sudden, you went silent. he wanted to ask if you're okay, but he was scared that he would've alerted the person in finding you.

➥ so, he waited. he was currently on his way to the supermarket you normally visit at an ungodly hour, in hopes that you would be somewhere near there. not too long after, he heard the sound of something hitting the concrete. hard.

➥ "(y/n)! are you okay?!" he yelled out. there wasn't any answer given other than the sound of ruffling and he was anxious to wait for your reply.

➥ "hi! I managed to escape death's grip and kick him in the fucking balls!" you shouted, your breathing still erratic. he let out a sigh of relief.

➥ "that's great. do you know where you're located now?" he asked. "uhh... oh, look! it's the gas station near the statue of barbatos!" you said. "good job. now, stay there. I'll go get you."

➥ "yes, please." once he arrived, he noticed you waving at him with a smile, as if you weren't in a near-death situation. he wondered what he's gonna do with you.

➥ as soon as he arrived, he immediately engulf you in his arms. "I was really worried." he said. you let out a laugh, hugging him back. "yeah, I was too. worried for that guy because he definitely won't be having kids." he sighed at your response, but laugh nonetheless, placing a kiss at your forehead.

➥ "let's go home. and you're not going to the supermarket at these hours anymore."

☾ kaeya

➥ let's face it. this man would be sleeping at this hour. but he's a light sleeper, so he would wake up the moment he heard his phone rings.

➥ he groans at the noise, rubbing his eyes and check the caller id, then back to the clock.

➥ what in the actual ever loving- it was 3 am, why are you calling him at this hour?

➥ he picked up your call and was about to make a sly remark about how you must've missed him, but the words were stuck on his tongue when he heard the sound of your heavy breathing.

➥ "you good?" he asked.

➥ "hey, bubs. nope. not at all." you said. "hypothetically speaking, if someone were to chase you with a knife at 3 am, what would you do?"

➥ the way that this man stood straight up. his sleepiness dissipate immediately. "you're joking." he said, well, more like convinced himself. this was the only time that he was hoping you were pranking him.

➥ there was a long silence on the line, then the sound of your footsteps, from light tiptoes to full-on sprinting. he grew panicked. taking the nearest piece of clothing and pants with him.

➥ "stay on the line. I'm coming to get you." when he said, that he heard a laugh from you and he really thought that you were pranking him, but it wasn't. "I don't even know where I am, how on earth are you gonna find me?"

➥ he stopped doing whatever he was doing at the moment, before continuing and grabbing his keys and drove off with his motorcycle (use your helmets!), his phone snuffed inside his helmet. "you're probably not that far off. I'll try to find you. meanwhile, stay on the line." he demanded.

➥ "yes, captain." if it was any other situation, he would've laugh at the nickname, but he couldn't. god, he was so scared at what might happen to you if he wasn't fast enough.

➥ the constant sound of you taking a long breath before continuing to run makes him very anxious. all of the sudden, he heard you scream in pain.

➥ "(y/n)! hey, hey (y/n)! what happened?!" the grip on the handlebar tightened. there was nothing but the sound of something stumbling around, then the sound of a loud groaning could be heard.

➥ "(y/n)...?" he called out one more time. "yes, yes I'm here." you let out another laugh. "well, now I know where I am now. it's a few blocks across diluc's bar." you said.

➥ you're breathing pretty heavily and he was really concerned about that, increasing up the speed to get to you. he spotted you sitting down near a pole and you waved at him.

➥ his eyes widened at your red hand, clutching the side of your shoulder. putting down his helmet, he rushed to your aid to examine the wound. "hey, you found me." you joked.

➥ he didn't answer, instead pressing the wound to stop the bleeding. "it's pretty deep." he answered. "just like you last night." you retort. he couldn't help but let out a laugh at your comment.

➥ "yeah? and I'll do it again."

☾ venti

➥ venti had a variety of activities he'd do at an ungodly hour. it could range from making new music or trying to summon a demon. either way, he'll probably still be awake doing random shit.

➥ the sound of lyre could be heard at his place, strumming softly with him humming along. it was peaceful, until it was broken by the sound of his phone ringing.

➥ he raised a brow at it, but picked it up without seeing the caller. "hello?" he greeted. his greeting was met by the sound of wind blowing harshly, as if someone was running.

➥ he released the phone and checked the caller. to his surprise, it was you. "(y/n)? wha-" "hey, venti!" your voice called out, mixed with pants and heavy breathing.

➥ "hypothetically speaking, if someone were to chase you with a knife at 3 am, what would you do?" at the question, he stopped moving.

➥ "...are you serious?" he asked. you laughed at his reaction. "'course not! I'm joking!" you said. "no, you're not." "no, I'm not. please help."

➥ I don't think venti's the type of person to have a car since his tiny legs too short to reach em so-- public bus it is.

➥ immediately, he rushed out of his home and ran towards the nearest bus. luckily for him, the bus was just on its way to leave. "where are you?" he asked.

➥ "uhh... hang on. I'm- AAH--" you shrieked. venti panicked at the sound of your scream. "(y/n)!" "HAH! I managed to outrun them. sucks for them for not being to able to have children now." you said with a laugh.

➥ venti's just relieved to hear you were still okay. "oh, how convenient! there's a bus stop ahead." you said. "that is convenient. stay there, I'll get you." he said.

➥ his eyes trailed at each stop the bus did and when he finally spotted your form, he asked the driver to stop then hopped down, immediately sprinting to you.

➥ "were you hurt?" he asked. "nah. damn, I know I've said that I wanna die a lot of times, but I wasn't ready yet." you said, catching your breath.

➥ venti laughed at your response then pulled you to a tight hug. "let's get you home, then."

☾ albedo

➥ he would probably either drawing, or doing some experiments, mostly the former.

➥ he'd have his phone playing one of those live jazz songs on youtube. he'd prefer to listen to live since it has no advertisement to bother his focus.

➥ while listening to the song and sketching your face by memory, the sound of his phone stopped, replaced by a ringing.

➥ he'd get a bit annoyed, but his previous emotion turned to worry when he saw the caller id. it was 3 in the morning, what on earth were you doing?

➥ "hello, (y/n), is everything alright?" he'd asked. he heard a loud crash from the other line, the sound of something falling at the ground, then followed by the sound of what seemed to be your phone slammed down.

➥ "(y/n)?" he'd ask one more time. in front of his bed was a coat neatly placed on the hanger and he was more than ready to just bolt towards your location.

➥ he'd heard grunts and shuffling for a few times, before he heard your voice. "hey, prince. sorry, was I bothering you?" mans was worried that he couldn't even bring himself to say yes.

➥ "forget about that. what were you doing?" he asked. he heard you let out a nervous laugh. "well, hypothetically speaking, if someone were to chase you with a knife at 3 am, what would you do?"

➥ albedo was someone aloof that doesn't really show emotions a lot, but the emotion of fear was evident on his face. "run and find a safe spot. I'll get to you. are you somewhere near the place where we would buy art supplies?" he asked, his voice calm and collected, a complete contrast to how he's feeling right now.

➥ "uhh... oh, yes! I can see the light from here." you answered. "good. go inside. the owner should recognise your face, go ask them for help." he suggested. he grabbed his coat and car keys and speed up towards said location.

➥ "alright, thank you." "don't hang up." he reminded. before he could hear your response, the sound of your scream could be heard. his car nearly crashed to a nearby tree at your voice, but he regained composure and continued to made his way to you.

➥ "(y/n)! talk to me! what happened?!" he asked frantically. there was a lot of stumbling sounds followed by your voice saying 'get off of me you fuck!' then a loud 'thud' was heard.

➥ "hey, hey I'm alright. still alive." you said. he took note that you sounded more breathy than before. "I'm inside. the person doesn't seemed to be following me though." you informed.

➥ "that's good. I'm only 2 minutes away. wait for me." he said. once he was there, he immediately went to you, eyes widened slightly at your bleeding form.

➥ that's why you screamed. he took off his coat and covered the bleeding area. the owner was nowhere to be seen, but he returned shortly, bringing a glass of water and a med kit, not surprised to see that albedo was there.

➥ albedo thanked the owner then tend to your wounds for a while. afterwards, he gave thanks to the owner again as he supported your wounded body on his.

➥ once the both of you reached his car, he placed his forehead against yours, one hand on your cheek, the other or your arm, supporting your form. "don't ever scare me like that again."

I honestly have no idea how to use Tumblr but it seemed fun.

#genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #diluc x reader #kaeya x reader #venti x reader #albedo x reader #genshin impact headcanons

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stormjay0 · 4 years

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Xisuma and Xelqua

I was thinking about how Grian used to be an admin (Wynncraft) and we’ve ended up here so... ficlet time!

As nights went on Hermitcraft, this was one of the quieter ones. Many of the hermits had gone to bed (Bdubs having been asleep for hours), with only a few still awake tinkering at some redstone project or growing vines for a build. The lights in the shopping district had gone dark, one by one, as shops closed up for the night amidst the smell of newly laid grass. The diamonds hanging from the trees caught the light of a star here and there, but most of the movement in the cowmercial district had long since died down.

A flickering window blinked in the distance. Any passerby who found it worth taking another look would see that the flicker came from a cozy flame dancing in the glass confines of a lantern, resting on a desk. The window in question was a small opening looking out into the thick jungle, just large enough for someone to rest on the sill and watch the parrots. It was also over 100 blocks off the ground.

The flame began to die out, flickering slowly and sadly downwards, only to spring up again as if given a shot of espresso. Or a shot of coal, in this case, because the admin who refueled it wouldn’t be caught dead with coffee. A strong black tea was another thing altogether.

Xisuma sighed and leaned back in his chair. Rubbing his eyes, he checked the time for the first time in a few hours. One in the morning wasn’t bad, he reasoned, and turned back to his work. Earlier today, he had relocated some administrative panels to this room in his jungle base, the least concrete-y of them. He silently thanked his past self; working on admin duties was at least 50% less fun on the concrete floor. His helmet lay switched off on the cozier, carpeted floor of the preferred room.

The panels themselves were resting between a desk and the wall behind it, propped up by their sturdy bedrock stands. Xisuma didn’t often think about that rare material that his panels were made of; many high-level admins required hardware (literally hard-ware) of that caliber, and though bedrock was almost impossible to obtain, it was well worth it for the administrative abilities of the panels.

Tonight was not a night for appreciating the panels, however; in fact, X was beginning to question if his work tonight was worth it in the first place. He was trying a particularly frustrating string of commands, as he was only halfway sure of how to accomplish the work he was trying to do.

Xisuma briefly stretched his neck and back, cracked his knuckles, and tried another combination. The usual [ERROR: Action not recognized] message appeared in urgent red over his screens, and he let out a short breath and considered hitting the panels in a last-ditch effort.

He didn’t have the chance to hit the panels, though, because another object hit a different panel very nearby- a Grian-shaped figure slammed into the window beside him at top speed.

X, not even surprised, slid open the glass and looked down. There was a thin ledge about five blocks below, and as Xisuma had expected, a heap of elytra wings and red sweater was sprawled atop it. He chuckled, shaking his head incredulously, and grabbed a water bucket so Grian could swim up the stream.

“Do I even want to ask what you’re doing up?”

Xisuma passed Grian a cup of chamomile tea, which the red-sweatered man immediately dumped 6 sugar packets into, cancelling out the calming chamomile effect.

“Well, you see, I was simply minding my own business over at Grumbot when I saw a light on over here- knew it was you immediately, definitely didn’t think there was a giant firefly hiding in the jungle.” Grian took a gulp of his tea. “Anyways, you’re up, and I’m up, so I may as well talk to you, Eck-sai-zooma.”

X rolled his eyes playfully at the mispronunciation. “Alright, but why were you at the Grumbot? That thing’s broken, ain’t it?”

“He was lonely!” Grian protested. “I wanted to visit my robot son.”

Xisuma raised an eyebrow.

“Aaaand I might’ve left a shulker box full of wool there.” Grian shrugged. “But it was a whole box!”

He looked around the room that he had crash-landed into and noticed the administrative panels. “You’re not working, are you, X? At this hour?”

Xisuma turned to look at the panels, still glowing red with error text. He sighed, and moved to switch them off. “I was working on a personal project, but you’re here, and I really need to take a break anyway.”

His finger was on the off switch when Grian spoke up. “Hey, I know how to fix this. It’s a perception chain, right? You just gotta-” He typed in a string of commands deftly with his head tilted sideways. “There! Got it!”

Xisuma stared at the message that had just popped up on the screen, glowing green. [Action approved. Enter commands to continue chain.] He turned back to look at Grian, who was now trying to hang his elytra upside-down from the ceiling.

“How’d you do that?”

Without turning around, Grian replied, “Oh, it was pretty easy! Just entered some combos that you hadn’t tried. The keywords on these change wayyy too often.”

Xisuma stared at Grian, looked back at the panels, and looked back at Grian. After a moment, he collected his thoughts enough to ask again.

“No, how did you know what to do? I’ve been an admin for years and even I couldn’t figure it out.” X was surprised that his question came out so calmly, when his brain was currently a mess of ‘HOW DID HE DO THAT’ and ‘WHAT THE HECK’.

“Oh!” Grian turned around, smiling sheepishly. “I don’t think I ever told you- I’m sure it was on my list, right after fixing that chest monster- I used to be an admin!”

He dropped to the floor, legs crossed, and took another swig of tea. “I used to moderate a server called Wynncraft. We had all kinds of people, but not like Hermitcraft- they came and went, played and left. Some came back, some didn’t, but everyone had a great time!”

He wrinkled his nose. “Or, they better have at least, I spent a long time on those maps.”

“Anyways, we had a ton of quests, and loot, and all that stuff! It was a pretty cool place. You learn a lot about being an admin when you have to mod ghosts.” Grian grinned. “Hah! Those were pretty terrifying.”

Xisuma was even more dumbstruck, but didn’t show it. Ghosts? No wonder Grian had known how to fix his problem- he was somehow experienced in some of the most complicated areas of administrating?

Grian leaned over to look at a different panel as Xisuma’s mouth moved silently, trying to think of something to say. The smaller man lightly tapped a thread of commands and looked up at X.

“What’re you trying to do with these? This looks like a ban bypass. Did you accidentally ban someone?” His eyes grew wide. “If you did we need to fix it right now! Which hermit was it?”

Xisuma collected himself and sat down by Grian. “No, it’s- it wasn’t unintentional.” He stared at the wall. “I banned him on purpose.”

Grian was halfway to asking X who it was when he saw the look on his face. Xisuma looked stoic and almost sad, gazing off into the distance. Grian turned back to the panels, and read the commands on them thoroughly. The former admin recognized most of the threads, but some of them, covered in error messages, weren’t commands he knew that worked. After a minute, he realized what Xisuma was trying to do. The actions entered seemed to be working towards an uncoded goal- the objective being to see someone in another dimension. Specifically, the void under the end islands. X wanted to see someone who had been banned and sent into the void.

Grian may not have known why, but he did know how to help. He began typing in another string of commands, the sound of which brought X back to reality. He leaned over Grian’s shoulder as Grian continued to type, talking as he went.

“The problem you had needed a bit of a workaround. I think the issue was in the way you went about it. See, to see the person, you can’t just open a window into where they are, you need to bring them here. Or at least a part of them, or- here, I’ll just show you.” He stopped typing and turned to Xisuma as the screen flashed the message [Enter administrative ID to give permissions.] “You’ve gotta enter me into your system so it lets me do this. Username should be Xelqua.”

X, distracted, looked at Grian after a minute. “Xelqua?”

“Old username. It’s what they called me when I got my administrative license.”

“Ah.” X reached for the panels. /permit user [Xelqua] }access_all

Grian finished up the last of the commands and held his finger over the enter key. “Ready to see whoever this is?”

Xisuma took a deep breath and didn’t respond.

Grian took that as a yes, and clicked the final button, looking anticipatorily at the spot where he had entered the coordinates for arrival.

Nothing happened for a moment. Then, the lantern dimmed of its own accord, and a fuzzy shape that looked a lot like Xisuma began to materialise in the center of the room. As the image became clearer, the person it showed did so too. Their face was just as shocked as Grian’s.

Xisuma’s face, however, was misty. He looked quietly at the projection now standing in his base.

“Hi, Ex.”

#grian #xisuma #xelqua #evil x #evil xisuma #xisumavoid #grianmc #hermitcraft #hermitblr #minecraft #mineblr #fanfic #hermitcraft fanfic #hermitcraft fic #hermitcraft fanfiction #my writing #xisuma and xelqua

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jungshookz · 4 years

Note

OMG UNI YOONGI TALKING TO LISA TO MAKE OC JEALOUS BUT Y/N GETS A LIDDOL UPSET BC LISA'S SO PRETTY AND SO PLAN BACKFIRES AND YOONGI IS LIKE OHNO

➺ pairing; min yoongi x reader

➺ genre; uni!yoongiverse!!!!! if u want to read something that’ll make your heart happy then you just struck gold

➺ wordcount: 6.4k

➺ summary; yoongi’s plan to make you jealous doesn’t go exactly as he’d expected.

➺ what to expect; “i’m y/n y/l/n, my student ID is 10120200, and today i will be discussing the neurobiology behind the complicated mask of romantic attraction.”

➺ optional reading: not necessary but feel free to read some other drabbles from the uni!yoongiverse!

➺ note; okay so thiS was originally how y/n and yoongi got together in the first place but before i had a chance to finish it i ended up writing that christmas mistletoe drabble instead!!! but i still wanted to share this version with u guys :-) also i am the worst at finding the source for gifs but i found it off here!! and the info used in this drabble is from this website!! ok i’m shutting up now happy reading!!!

»»————-　♡　————-««

yoongi is not used to this

and by this he means you

and by you he means he doesn’t understand why you don’t seem to be as into him as much as he’s into you and it’s weird because (not to toot his own horn or anything) he thinks he’s preTTy good at wrapping people around his dainty pinky finger and it just doesn’t seem to be working with you!!

did that sentence even make any sense??

does anything even make any sense anymore????

“-i guess, to answer your question, i don’t really know what to do which is weird because i’m usually pretty confident with everything that i do. you know?” yoongi sighs and shakes his head

the cashier blinks owlishly at him

all she asked him was ‘how are you doing today?’

“so… are you going to order anything or…?

yoongi clears his throat before turning to glance at the very long line of impatient university students wanting their daily fix of caffeine

see????

look what you’ve doNE TO HIM

you’ve broken him and he doesn’t know how to fix himself!!

“…one medium iced vanilla cold brew, please.”

yoongi stares blankly into space as he slurps up the remainder of his coffee

he shakes the cup around a little and the ice rattles inside

“good morning!”

yoongi looks up and nods in acknowledgement as lisa plops down next to him

anyone who’s said that you can’t be friends with your ex obviously didn’t have a meaningful relationship with them

because yoongi and lisa are doing just fine!

they take a history course together

he didn’t actually knoW they were in the same class until he was (very) late to class one day and the only seat left was next to her and he thought that if he didn’t sit next to her the next class that that would open up a whole can of worms that he definitely did noT want to open up (“how come you’re not sitting with me anymore? is it because we used to have sex and now you can’t look me in the eye without thinking about how you broke up with me and your reason was ‘i don’t know, i just feel like we’re… not a great couple’?”)

but the point is

they get along great!

they don’t hang out outside of class but they get along inside of class which is what matters

“shit, did you happen to get the notes from the last slide? i missed some of the last bullet points-“ lisa grabs yoongi’s notebook and huffs when she sees that all he has on this page are some half-assed notes and a lot of doodles “you are of no use to me.”

“it’s all part of my charm, baby.” yoongi sighs and leans back against the squeaky seat

“i have no idea what i saw in you in the first place.” lisa mumbles to herself as returns her attention to the screen

“oh, babe… you’re making me blush!” yoongi coos before giving her a little punch on the shoulder

“you’re making me want to jump off a cliff- and don’t touCH me-“

and all of a sudden

it hits him

he knows what to do to get you to talk to him!!

he’s spent the last forty minutes of class thinking about your cuTe face and how he’s going to get closer to you but something about what lisa said just inspired him

actually it had nothing to do with what lisa said

it had more to do with her presence and her subtle reminder that they used to date

he needs a catalyst of some kind

he needs to.,.,., to catalyse yoU!

(he learned that word from chemistry but he’s not sure if he’s using it correctly he’ll have to fact-check that with u)

yoongi nudges lisa’s side and she scowls before nudging him back harder

“oW- cut it out-“ yoongi grumbles and swats at her hand

“you started it-“

“will you just shut up-“

“yoU shut up-“

“i need your help with something.” yoongi hisses as he begins to scribble the plan down on his notebook so that lisa can read it instead of him having to whisper it to her in its entirety

he’s not very useful to her but she’s about to be very useful to him

he now knows exactly what to do

>:-)

“if you keep bouncing your leg like that i won’t hesitate to slice it off with this flimsy wooden pathetic excuse of a knife.” jimin leans over to poke the tip of the dull knife into your forearm and you huff before whacking his hand away

“i can’t help it, you knoW i get jumpy when i’m nervous.”

god

you feel itchy

is it hot in here??

or is it just you??

hopefully your armpits aren’t sweaty

nothing kills the mood more than swampy pits

am i right ladies

“y/n, you know he likes you back-“

“no, actually, i don’t know that.” you shake your head before leaning over to peek at the entrance of the cafeteria doors again “he’s never explicitly stated that he likes me back so i can’t just go around-“

“he doesn’t need to tell you! he- he literally spooned you in the middle of class aND he made me give up being your partner for the presentation so that he could be your partner instead.” jimin raises a brow when you look back at him

“…and your point is?”

he groans quietly and rolls his eyes

how can someone so smart be so stupid at the same time

here’s what’s happening

you think you’re finally going to do something about your feelings for yoongi (gross)

and the thing is, you actually weren’t planning on doing anything today because you like to plan things out in advance but somehoW jimin convinced you that this would be a good idea

anyways

you’re going to ask yoongi if he’d like to join you (and jimin) for lunch!

it’s not a big step but at least it’s somEthing

and it’s not like asking him to sit with you at lunch is you professing your undying love for him

it’s just lunch!

maybe if you’re lucky, when he sits down next to you, you can scooch in closer so that the side of your leg is touching the side of his leg

and if you’re extra lucky, maybe he won’t move away from you when you do that

:’)

you perk up when you see yoongi step into the cafeteria and your heart skips a beat when the two of you make eye contact for a brief second before he’s looking away and joining the line

alrighty

that’s your cue!

“alright-“ you slide out of the booth and wipe your clammy hands on the back of your jeans “wish me luck!”

jimin shoots you a thumbs up before reaching over to steal one of the watermelon cubes out of your fruit cup

okay

this’ll be fine

you’ll be greAt

all you have to do is ask yoongi if he wants to come and sit with you

…but you can’t just ask him without saying hi

so say hi first

you know what

you should’ve practiced this in your head before getting up and leaving the safety of the table

but now it’s too late to turn back because you’re already halfway to yoongi and you can’t just tuRn back because you know he saw you and he’s going to think it’s weird if you stopped and whipped around halfway through your somewhat confident stride towards him

damnit

daMNIT

okAY what are you going to say??

hi yoongi… how are you?

nO no that’s oddly polite

hi yoongi… what are you going to order?

nope not that either

hi yoongi… chemistry, am i right? how are your slides for the presentation coming along? i noticed some of your facts were a bit broad so i made some comments on the side to help-

??? hoW do you steer the conversation from there?? NERD

hi yoongi… what’s up with the meatloaf here?? what’s in this mystery meat?? i guess that’s why they call it a mystery! hAh

…ok that one was just weird

and just as you’re a couple feet away from yoongi, that’s when you notice that he’s not alone

nope

because he’s engaging in what looks like vEry friendly conversation with another girl

“yoongi, cut it out, you dweeb!” she giggles before giving his arm a gentle slap (her hand lingers on his arm for a good three!!! seconds) and yoongi raises his hands in defence

???????

who is this stranger??

who is this stranger and why is she touching yoongi like she’s noT a stranger???

and why isn’t yoongi acting like she’s a stranger???

“what?? i’m just saying!!”

he turns his head slightly and the two of you make eye contact yet agaIn

your eyes widen in panic

oh god

well now you definitely can’t ask him to sit with you at lunch

not when he’s talking to a literal godDESS

god!!! look at her!!!!

her hair is so long and silky and she has that whole ‘is she sexy or is she cute’ vibe going on and woW that eyeliner is impeccable

you look like you have raccoon eyes compared to her eye makeup

…you look like a raccoon compared to her

he’s obviously going to sit with her!!!!!!!

mission abort

MISSION ABORT

you immediately swerve and head towards the vending machine

okay

that didn’t go toO badly right

was your swerve smooth?

hopefully it seemed like it was a natural movement to suddenly make a JAGGED turn to the right

you know what

this is a sign

you and yoongi are not supposed to be a thing and that was a sign directly from God himself

you feel your face heating up a little when another realisation hits you

you thought yoongi liked you back and it seems that he doesn’t… and even if he did like you back, you waited too long to do something about it and he’s obviously moved on

suRe, you’ve been going around saying that you’re pretty sure yoongi doesn’t like you back and it’s not a big deal because it’s expected, why would he like me? but you only kept saying that because you wanted it to be wrong

you wanted yoongi to prove you wrong

and he moved on because you were taking too frickin long to decide what you wanted to do with him

…and you didn’t even bring any change with you so you can’t even get a bag of chips to make you feel beTTER

“i… i’m sorry, but what the hell was that?” jimin snorts as soon as you take a seat at the table and you clear your throat before shrugging

“an effort was made… and… the result came out inconclusive! so… it’s whatever.”

jimin leans over to the side a little to peek past you at yoongi who just wrapped an arm around whatever-her-name-is’ shoulders

and then he notices yoongi glancing back a little in your direction

…fascinating.

“y/n…” jimin sighs as he sets his fork down, “yoongi likes you. you know he does. everyone knows he does! you’d have to be blind to noT see how into each other you two are.”

“you’re just saying that because you’re my friend.” you sulk as you slump against your arm

“i’m saying that because it’s true, you idiot.” jimin frowns and reaches over to give the top of your head a pat, “use that big brain of yours and think about it!”

okay fine

you’ll use your stupid big brain to think about stupid yoongi and your stupid crush on him

the other week in class you were pretty bummed out because you had forgotten to bring your snack with you and you were looking forward to it all day (you slathered some strawberry jam on some crackers and made little sandwiches) and after you briefly mentioned it to yoongi (after he asked u ‘what’s a saD girl like u doing in a sad place like this’) he went quiet for a second or two before picking up his backpack and leavinG the lab

and you were very confused because class was literally starting and he just walked out like it was no big deal

you were about to get up and chase after him to bring him back but once the professor started the lecture you were pretty much bolted down to your stool

when he came back ten minutes later (thankfully the professor was playing a video for the class so yoongi was able to sneak in without being noticed) you were very surprised when he plopped a crumpled up wad of napkins(??) in front of you

“thank you for the… garbage?” you whisper as you use the back of your pencil to poke at it

“open it up.” yoongi points to the top of it and- oH okay it’s like a little parcel of some kind

it just looked like garbage to you

you reach over to unwrap the parcel and your brows knit together when you-

oOh!!!!! oh!!!!!! crackers!!!! cracker sandwiches with strawberry jam oozing out the sides!!!!!!

“have i ever told you about how much the lunch ladies love me?” yoongi grins and wiggles his eyebrows before pushing the crackers closer to you “bon appétit, m’lady.”

you perk up a little and jimin looks over at you in interest

wait a second

if yoongi didn’t like you back then he probably wouldn’t have gone out of his way just to get you a couple crackers and jam

what else has he done?

in class he always leans over to doodle on your notebook and even when you tell him to cut it out he never does

but is that flirting?

how about when he compliments your scrunchies or your socks or little things like that?

is that flirting or is that just him being nice???

okay

what about this one

how about when he walks you to class and insists you give him a kiss on the cheek as payment?

you immediately shoot straight up from the table and jimin jumps in surprise

jesus chriSt

he didn’t sign up to sit with a jack-in-the-box today

“yoongi likes me!” you gasp and jimin resists the urge to roll his eyes

“look who finally came to their senses-“

yoongi likes you!!

a lot

like a LOT

and you like yoongi a lot too!!!!

so you have no idea why you’re acting the way that you are

part of it is because he’s being kind of flirty with someone else but the other part of it is…

it’s just that you have no idea why every time he brings up the question of ‘so… what are we?’ you immediately panic and sputter out some lame excuse about how you have some work to catch up on but i’ll catch you later!!

oh god

the smile drops from your face

do you have commitment issues??? is that it??

“is it working? do you think it’s working?” yoongi forces a smile on his face to make it seem like he’s still very interested in what lisa is saying and she peeks over his shoulder before shaking her head

“i think your plan was a failure from the start anD i think we should’ve gone with my plan if you really wanted to make her jealous-“

“i’m not gonna make out with you in front of y/n-“

“well, she’s not even paying attention to us anymore. her back’s facing us.”

yoongi whips around so fast that he nearly gives himself whiplash and his shoulders droop when he realises that lisa’s right

damnit

he really thought his plan was going to work!! he thought it was foolproof!!!

obviously not because here he is

looking like a grade A foOL

“you sure you’re okay?” jimin nudges your arm as the two of you throw out your scraps and wrappers

after your whole ‘yoongi likes me!!!’ moment, you were pretty happy for like 3 seconds and then you started spiralling into a whole self-pity ‘i might have commitment issues’ thing which eventually led you back to ‘yoongi could never like someone like me… no wonder he’s off eating lunch with someone else…’ and jimin was fully ready to rip his hair out

one step forward and a miLLion steps back

anyways

you were pretty quiet for the remainder of lunch which wasn’t a huge surprise because you dO have the tendency to get a little mopey when things don’t go your way (but in your defense, who wouldn’t get mopey??)

like one time when you were assigned the topic of comparing and contrasting influential leaders during the WWI era for a history essay when you were really hoping to be assigned the topic of the impact of propaganda

you were so bummed out that you basically just leaned on jimin for the entire period of lunch without saying anything

and now it looks like it’s happening again!!!

you know what

you can’t go in circles like this for the rest of your life

this time you’re not just being mopey and pitying yourself

this time you think you’re actually going to do something about the issue (juSt like how you should’ve gone to your prof to fight for that propaganda essay)

you feel ridiculous!!

you can’t go on beating yourself up over something that you can kiNd of control!!!

you know that you wanna be with yoongi officially

you know that there’s a mutual attraction between the two of you

and most importantly you want to be able to call him your boyfriend and not just a classmate that you sometimes flirt with and all-the-times fantasise about holding hands with

you’re finally ready to sit him down and tell him you definitely like him and that you definitely want to be with him and you are noT about to let him slip away this easily!!

seeing him with someone else lit a fire under your ass

…and you know exactly how you’re going to handle this.

to say the least

yoongi is.,,.,..,

concerned

very, very concerned

he hasn’t spoken to you in like three days and he’s pretty sure you’re avoiding him

and he knows this because the other day after you came out of class and saw him standing there waiting for you (like he usually does) you immediately diverted your gaze and attempted to hide behind a bunch of people before disappearing down the opposite end of the hallway

and then when he walked into class to go and sit next to you like he always does he was very surprised to see that jimin had reclaimed his spot next to you

…and if those aren’t signs of you avoiding him/being upset with him he doesn’t know what is!!

if anything he thought the whole lisa plan was going to get you all riled up and jealous which was something that he will openly admit to vEry much wanting to see because let’s be real seeing someone get jealous is always a little hot

but instead it seemed to have upset you and possibly hurt your feelings which was the complete opposite of what yoongi wanted and now he doesn’t know what to DO

usually he’s the one that does the avoiding! whenever he gets into little riffs with girls (most of the time they’re upset about him not texting and/or calling back which he admits is his fault and he could’ve handled those situations more maturely but that’s not the point) all he has to do is like smile at them in class and they immediately forgive him because he has a greAt smile

also usually it’s other people who are trying to make him jealous!!! so it’s pretty weird that hE was the one trying to make someone jealous!!!

he doesn’t like the taste of his own medicine

it’s bitter and he can’t get it out of his mouth

he-

yoongi jumps when his phone buzzes in his back pocket

from: nerdzilla [1:58pm] - Yoongi, can you come to lecture hall A in the maple building right now?

huh

okay

it looks like you’re no longer avoiding him which he supposes is a good sign

…but nothing good can ever happen in a lecture hall

“there you are! i was worried you got lost.” you smile lightly as yoongi steps into the lecture hall looking very out of place

“what’s… uh, what’s going on?” yoongi raises a brow as he makes his way down the steps

“take a seat and it’ll all make sense soon.” you gesture for him to sit near the front before turning to make sure everything’s hooked up and ready to go

yoongi lets out a sigh as he plops down in one of the seats

a moment of silence goes by before he decides that he should probably be the first one to speak up and at least trY to smooth things over

but before he even opens his mouth you’ve already dimmed the lights in the auditorium anD attached a mini microphone to your sweater

you clear your throat before stepping forward a little bit

“i’m y/n y/l/n, my student number is 10120200, and today i will be discussing the neurobiology behind the complicated mask of romantic attraction.” you swallow your nerves after introducing the presentation before clicking to the next slide

what in the world

what is happening

yoongi looks around at the empty auditorium before looking back at you

he still doesn’t know if you’re mad or upset or mupset and if this is just how you process your emotions but maybe he’ll just sit back and relax for now

“now, in order to understand brain chemistry, we need to understand the different chemicals that are involved in the process of romantic attraction. there are four hormones that are important when it comes to understanding love - cortisol, dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin. we’ve actually discussed these hormones in class, so if i, say, asked you what cortisol is, you would say…” you trail off and turn to face yoongi and he immediately straightens up

he didn’t think he’d be teSted during whatever the hell this is but okay

you reviewed all of these terms with him for the last quiz so you’d be more than disappointed if he’d already forgotten about them

“if you asked me what cortisol was, i would say…” yoongi narrows his eyes slightly before pursing his lips

why is he sweating all of a sudden

he’s nervous

why does he feel like he’s in cLASS

this ain’t right!!! this was a trick!!!!

“cortisol.” yoongi mumbles as his fingers drum anxiously against his kneecap, “court-isol… courting a mate… courting someone can be stressful- ooh, cortisol is the steroid that is released when we’re stressed!” yoongi claps his hands together and grins widely when you nod proudly before turning back to look at the slide

hAH

he’s still got it

“so, in short - cortisol is a stress hormone, dopamine seeks out pleasure, norepinephrine makes you highly excitable, and serotonin is a mood stabiliser. when you’ve got a crush on someone, your serotonin drops as your cortisol levels increase, which then makes your brain pump out dopamine, which produces norepinephrine.” you turn to look at yoongi to make sure he’s still paying attention and he now looks moRe lost than he was before “do you get it?”

“i… can you repeat that? but in a completely different way? and with different words? significantly easier, simpler words?”

“i mean… i thought i’d already explained it in pretty simple terms-“

“in whAT universe was that simple???”

“okay, what about this- basically, when you’re in the process of falling for someone, all of the hormones that make you anxious and energetic are super duper high while the one that keeps you stable is super duper low.”

“thank you. you should know by now that you have to explain things to me like that.” yoongi snorts before leaning back against the chair and kicking his legs back up and flicking his wrist “alright, you have my permission to carry on.”

you roll your eyes playfully before turning back to face the screen

“there are approximately twenty commonly-reported thoughts, feelings, and behaviours that are associated with falling in love, but in the interest of time, i’m just going to be covering three.”

yoongi (bless his heart) is still trying to figure out what the point of all of this is but is struggling a little because he’s also trying to focus on this presentation of your at the same time

meanwhile, you’re pretty close to pissing yourself on stage because you’ve never confessed your feelings for anyone before and you hate that you can’t decipher the meaning behind yoongi’s poker face

is he playing along??? is he just letting you go through with this presentation even though he already knows what you’re hinting at???

or is he actually confused and has nO idea what he’s doing here??? does he think you’re wasting his precious time????

“number one: intrusive thinking.” you interrupt your internal ramble as you switch to the next slide, “when we’re in the process of falling for someone, our levels of serotonin drop significantly.” you pause and whip around to face yoongi, "remind me again what serotonin is?”

yoongi’s eyes widen slightly

uh-oh

he’s being put on the spot agaIN??

god

is it too late to drop out of this class?????

“uh… can i get a pass on this one?”

you frown

u literally just said what serotonin was like three seconds ago

he’s so bad at listening!!!! no wonder he needs your help all the time!!!

“serotonin is a mood stabilizer, so it makes you feel…“

“calm!!! and in control!!! and- and stabilized!!” yoongi spRings up from his seat with a raised hand before bouncing up and down

“there we go.” you smile lightly when yoongi gives himself a pat on the back

he’s so cute when he’s proud of himself :-(

“anyways - serotonin stops the triggering of obsessive-compulsive behaviour. however, when the level of dopamine is larger than the level of serotonin, that means you don’t have as much control over your obsessive thoughts and behaviours, which is why when you… have a crush on someone, they’re on your mind all the time.” you clear your throat when you feel a little tickle at the back of your throat

it’s almost like your body is rejecting the idea of u telling yoongi u like him and trying to tell you to sTOP STOP STOP but it’s waaaay too late to stop now

“you find yourself checking your phone all the time to see if they texted you back. when you get an assignment back, your first thought isn’t ‘hey, i did a good job!’ like it usually is, and instead it’s ‘hey, i wonder if they did a good job too!’. they’re the first thing you think about when you wake up and the last thing you think about before you fall asleep. and it’s… weird, having this person take up so much space in your mind, it’s like… thinking about not thinking about them makes you think about them even more?”

“…thinking about not thinking about them makes you… ah, okay, i understand. got it!” yoongi shoots you a uncharacteristically dorky double thumbs up and you can’t help but snort

“number two: a change in priorities.” you click to the next slide

maybe it’s a good thing that yoongi hasn’t caught on yet

you’re actually starting to enjoy giving this presentation even if it’s not for marks and doesn’t count towards any of your grades whatsoever

“the active hormone in this case would be dopamine. which is…?” you turn to look at yoongi and the smile immediately drops from his face

have you not learned that he is incapable of answering questions on the spot like this???

“dopamine… makes you… feel dope. therefore… dopamine… is… it makes you feel… good…”

okay you’re going to be here all afternoon if you keep picking on yoongi like this

“how about you just…sit back and relax?” you offer yoongi a sheepish smile, “i promise i won’t ask you any more questions.”

yoongi’s shoulders visibly droop and he lets out a breath of relief before leaning back against the seat

thank GOD because he’s really not sure how much more information he can pull out of his ass

“so, dopamine makes you seek out pleasure-“

“which is basically what i said-“

“as i implied earlier, a spike in dopamine is involved with having intrusive thoughts. a change in priorities has a lot to do with this spike, because you’ll try pretty much anything to get to the reward that can bring you pleasure - obviously this reward i’m talking about is the person i’m crushing- i- i mean, the person that you- the person that one has a crush on.” you stammer before reaching up to scratch the back of your neck

ooh boy

we’re falling off the rails a little here

yoongi raises a brow

he’s never seen you get so twitchy before

especially not when you’re giving presentations because you literally live laugh loVE to give presentations

last week you showed him a presentation of all the things you ate over the weekend and it was actually surprisingly informative and entertaining

“um… so… right! a change in priorities. for example, even if you hated something like skateboarding - and i’m talking really, reaLLy hated - you might suddenly be super cool with giving it a go!” you shrug before unconsciously brushing your fingers over your scratched up elbows that resulted from yoongi trying to teach you how to skateboard a couple weeks ago

yoongi’s brows knit together in deep thought as the gears click-click-click away in his head

why are you giving this presentation in the first place? what’s the whole purpose of it? why this subject in particular? how come no one else is here with-

yoongi perks up in his seat when it hits him

suddenly every single detail about this peculiar situation rushes over him like a tidal wave

…the neurobiology behind the complicated mask of romantic attraction…

…what is cortisol?? cortisol is a stress hormone that is released when ur courting a mate…

…’hey, i wonder if they did a good job!’ instead of ’hey, i did a good job!’…

…really, really hate skateboarding… suddenly willing to give it a go…

“-and finally, having an intense increase in energy!” yoongi snaps out of his whirlpool of thoughts when you suddenly clap your hands together, “dopamine - which, hopefully you’ll remember increases when you feel desire and arousal for someone - produces norepinephrine, which is the hormone associated with feelings of excessive energy and restlessness!”

you start pacing around on the stage with your hands on your hips

“like, usually you have a pretty good sleep schedule of 9pm to 7am, but suddenly, all because of this person, you suddenly have the ability to stay up for the entire night thinking about him a-and his stupid face and the fact that he has you wrapped around his pinky finger and somEhow you’re still able to survive the next day without crashing and burning!”

a smirk slowly begins to form at yoongi’s lips when he finally processes what exactly is happening

maybe his lisa plan worked after all

you like him

this is you telling him that you like him and you know what he has to give you a little more credit for using your skills to your advantage

look at you and your cute little ‘i love you’ presentation!!!!

adorable!!!!

just as he’s about to get up and interrupt your vEry passionate rant about how important it is to get a solid eight hours of sleep a night, the projector suddenly glitches and the screen goes black

“one night, i only got like three hours of sleep but what i’m tryINg to say is that-“ your neck nearly snaps from how quickly your head whips around when the screen flickers to black

oh shooT

out of all the times for the damn projector to glitch!!!!!

just as you were about to reach your conclusion!!!!!

fRICK

“sorry, give me a second.” you hold a finger up before jogging over to the little desk where your laptop is

this is why you hate all this bluetooth apple TV nonsense

the projectors always disconnect at the worst times

it’s just not a reliable way to present something!!

it takes a couple seconds for the projector to catch up to your laptop but when you see the concluding slide pop up on the screen you let out a sigh of relief

maybe you should stop talking about your sleep schedule and just jump straight into the conclusion because you honestly don’t even know what you’re talking about anymore

see!!!! look what yoongi’s done to you!!!!!

you’re usually very good at improvising presentations and now you’re just shooting blanks!!!

whatever

just present your danG conclusion and get this over with u dummy

“in conclusion, the neurobiological process behind romantic attraction is quite evident wh- oh!”

the moment you whip around you don’t even get a chance to be surprised at the fact that yoongi is standing right behind you because the next thing you know he’s pulling you in for a kiss

as soon as his lips press against yours, your mind immediately goes blank and all you can hear is pure white noise (which you’re pretty sure is just your laptop fan whirring because it’s about to run out of battery)

yoongi reaches up to take your chin in between his thumb and pointer finger before tilting his head slightly to deepen the kiss when your hands suddenly grip at his hoodie

at first he wasn’t just going to throw himself at you like this but honestly you guys have played this game for far too long

and he’s wanted to kiss u for so long

unsurprisingly, you’re the first one who pulls away (yoongi would 110% spend the rest of the day making out with you on stage if it were up to him) and yoongi swipes his tongue over his bottom lip when he sees how flushed your cheeks have gotten and how swollen your lips are

all that from a little bit of kissing?

…goD that’s so frickin cute

“you-“ your voice cracks slightly and he can’t help but grin because it hits him that the only thing that can make you stutter like this is hiM- “i wasn’t- i wasn’t done with- with my conclusion.” you whisper

wha-

huh

okay

out of all the responses in the world he definitely wasn’t expecting that

well, that’s not true

as he’s mentioned before, you are very passionate about your presentations so maybe he should’ve expected this

“oh! uh, yeah, i’m sorry-“ yoongi quickly takes a step back and raises his hands in defence “sorry. what were you saying?”

you turn away so that your back faces yoongi and you mouth a silent ‘oH MY GOD-‘ to yourself

oh my god

oh my GOD!!!!!

oh myg od????

omg

like u literally don’t know what else to say besides oh my god

no thoughts head empty

“in conclusion, the neurobiological process behind romantic attraction is quite evident when i’m talking about the way that i feel… about… well, about you.” you spin back around to face yoongi and feel your heart skip a beat when he smiles widely before bursting into laughter

what the-

why is he laughing??????

that was supposed to be a sweet moment????

that was supposed to be the part in the movie where the audience goes ‘awww’!!!!!!

so what the heLL is he hee-hawing aboUT

“i’m sorry, i just-“ yoongi covers a hand over his mouth and lets out a snort, “i cannot believe how much i like you-“

“oh, well, great! that makes me feel sO good about myself-“ you feel your face grow red as you throw your hands up in the air

“no, no, not like that! i-“ yoongi wipes a tear from his eye as he makes his way towards you, “you… you’re a dork, y/n y/l/n. you know that?”

“…every time you open your mouth to speak i begin to like you less and less-“

“you’re the biggest dork on this planet and i am so, utterly, obsessed with you.”

…to be honest that was like an insult and a compliment wrapped into one so you’re not quite sure how to interpret it buT-

“so you… like me back?” your stomach flutters when yoongi places his hands on your waist to pull you in

“of course i like you back!” he reaches up to flick your forehead and you immediately let out a yelp, “god, i thought you were supposed to the smarter one out of the two of us-!“

he pauses to give u a little kiss on your forehead because he might have flicked u harder than intended

“and can i just say… i love it when you talk nerdy to me.”

“oh, god, get awaY from me-“ you immediately let out a groan before rolling your eyes

he’s so annOYING

“aw, come on! what’s the matter?” yoongi laughs when you shove him off and turn away from him “i’m hot for teacher-“ he growls playfully as he grabs your hips from behind before pulling you back in towards him

“you are the absolute worsT-“ you whine as you feel your back bump against his front

his arms slink around your waist as he props his chin up on your shoulder “i don’t know about you but mY serotonin levels are like, bouncing off the walls right now-“

“that doesn’t even make any sense, yoongi! it’s like you weren’t even paying attention to anything i was saying at aLL-“

“sure i was! i paid enough attention to know about how much you loooOooOOVe mE-“

and for the record

yoongi will be more than happy to attend any of your future presentations if it means he gets to kiss you at the end of each one

:-)

help me help you make your wishes come tru (aka send me a request)

requested drabbles masterlist

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presumenothing · 4 years

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FMAB: Daughter of the Dusk – Chapter 8: A Gunshot Through Hope

(A little late, but here’s my non-fic contribution to the fandom in honour of FMA day! The game is quite long overall, so this covers just the first part, which I figured people might be curious about since it ties up the cliffhanger from Prince of the Dawn. Not sure if I’ll do the rest of the game yet, but in the meantime – enjoy this chapter!)

Daughter of the Dusk is the sequel to Prince of the Dawn, which covers Chapters 1-7 of the story, and has a English-subbed playthrough by EnvyPlays (which you should watch first before reading on, obviously). I don’t have either game, so this summary is based on this playthrough by チキンオレ, starting from video 9 in the playlist.

The game is set before the Briggs arc, and picks up directly from where the previous one ended: at the Amestris-Aerugo peace treaty signing ceremony in Central City, with Bradley and Prince Claudio shaking hands onstage. Ed spots Scar in the audience, but he vanishes before Ed can give pursuit.

Meanwhile, up on the radio tower, Hawkeye prepares to snipe Claudio (on Bradley’s orders) with Black Hayate by her side. She takes out her pocketbook to check the ceremony map, and a photo of the team falls out, leading to this moment as she looks at the photo…

HAWKEYE: [silently] I pull this trigger of my own will. [aloud, at Hayate’s worried expression] It’s alright. [aims the rifle at Claudio as he begins his speech] The Hawk’s Eye does not miss. Goodbye, Colonel.

[sound of gunshot, cut to black]

[flashback to before the signing ceremony]

CHAPTER 8: A GUNSHOT THROUGH HOPE

NARRATOR: Central City gladly welcomed “Envoy of Peace” Prince Claudio, whose arrival marked the end of a long war. But the gunshot that rang out at the climax of the festivities – the peace treaty signing ceremony – abruptly turned the celebratory cheers to screams. The beginning can be traced back to several hours before the fated time……

FUHRER’S OFFICE: Envy leaves to bring Hawkeye to the sniper spot. Greed arrives. Bradley assigns him to bring Hawkeye’s rifle from the armoury (G: “How could a sniper forget her rifle?” B: “She couldn’t carry it and get past security.”), and gives him an ID for a weapons dealer so he can get in.

[player character: Greed]

CENTRAL COMMAND - RECEPTION: Greed bluffs his way past (G: Lying is against my creed, but I did promise to do this…), mainly because it turns out Bradley informed them beforehand of his arrival.

CENTRAL COMMAND - ARMOURY 2: Greed notices something odd about a large box, but dismisses it as his imagination, and takes the rifle. Bradley appears, having “coincidentally” passed by. Greed realises this was a test. (B: “This is a tactic that will shake the nation. Who knew if ‘the prince’ would make a racket.”) Bradley then reveals Greed’s next task – blowing up the sniper spot after the deed is done, to erase the evidence and silence Hawkeye.

[PC: Mustang, who is implied to have been hiding in the box Greed noticed]

Mustang thinks about what he overheard – the assassination and silencing of Hawkeye afterwards. (M: “My instinct was spot on, to have picked this as the meeting place! [beat] Time is running out. ……I’ll have to cancel my date. Hang in there.”) He heads out to search for the sniper spot.

CENTRAL COMMAND - LOBBY: A soldier tells Mustang that Hawkeye has gone out, and someone at the entrance might know where she was headed.

At the entrance, best boy™️ Black Hayate barks and proceeds to tug Mustang’s uniform. (M: “What’re you doing! I don’t have time to play with you now…" BH: [growls] M: “Ow ow ow! Let go! [beat] Fine, I’ll follow you! Lead me to where your master is……")

Mustang spots Envy in the city, and deduces that Hawkeye is somewhere nearby. He arrives at the train depot, followed swiftly by Ed looking for Hayate (this scene was seen from Ed’s POV in the previous game, at 13:20 of Part 18). Mustang decides to return Hayate and make Ed leave so they won’t get caught up in this. He reflects on how Hawkeye has been given nothing but tasks opposite to him ever since Claudio arrived, likely because the higher-ups wanted to separate them so he wouldn’t find out about the assassination plan… which didn’t work out, clearly. Hawkeye then arrives (their confrontation was also previously seen from Hawkeye’s POV, at 7:08 of Part 19).

[PC: Fuery]

Fuery wrings his hands over having lost sight of Mustang, Ed, and Hayate. He decides to track down Mustang since something about him had looked off, by asking around if anyone’s seen him.

ENTERTAINMENT DISTRICT: Fuery runs into Vanessa, who is Peak Angry at Mustang for passing by without noticing her at all. She says that he’d headed towards the abandoned factory.

[PC: Mustang]

ABANDONED FACTORY: Fuery finally finds Mustang, who asks what he’s doing here. (F: “Please stop saying such stand-offish things. Something happened, right, Colonel?” M: “You’re no longer under my command. Whatever I do has nothing to do with you.” F: “It does! I’m worried of my own accord!” M: “One after another… I really did get some strong-willed subordinates, huh.”) Scar then appears out of… seemingly nowhere, causing Mustang to dimiss Fuery over his protests, telling him to contact Breda and Falman. Scar and Mustang both declare they don’t have time for this. Scar activates his disintegration alchemy, but Mustang makes a smokescreen with flame alchemy and runs off.

[Time left until the fated moment – 00:59:59]

Having explained the situation to Falman, Breda, and Fuery, Mustang tells them it’s not too late to return to their posts, but of course they reject this offhand. Mustang then says that he’s going to meet Claudio and try to stop the signing ceremony somehow.

[Time left until the fated moment – 00:51:28]

Mustang asks Claudio to not appear at the ceremony, as he is being targeted. Claudio says he was prepared for the danger all along, and a mini-game follows where you have to choose dialogue that will convince him. Mustang says that it’s a plot by rebels within the military (another option says it’s by mysterious aliens, lol) with a sniper known to be a crack shot, though he claims their identity is still under investigation. Claudio then asks the real reason why he’s so determined to stop this, since it might even endanger his standing in the military, and Mustang answers that it’s out of his personal wish of peace. In the end, Claudio declares that he still won’t stop the ceremony just to protect his own life, but he will bear Mustang’s words in mind. Mustang acknowledges this determination, and says that he will do everything he can to foil the plot.

[Time left until the fated moment – 00:32:23]

[PC: Fuery]

Fuery sneaks into the communication room to eavesdrop on transmissions from Bradley’s allies to Hawkeye. After some false alarms (including a report of a woman being detained for carrying a rifle-shaped object and blunt weapon, who turns out to be Winry with automail case and spanner), he catches an exchange between Envy and Hawkeye, and finds out the sniper spot is outside the ceremony area and informs the rest. An emergency report then comes in about an intruder at the back door – it’s Scar.

[PC: Scar]

Scar barges in and destroys things while… monologuing darkly about various things, including his comrades and “that man”. (I’ll be honest, I do not like this Ishvalan terrorist subplot at all so I paid about zero attention to it.) He leaves. Falman and Breda arrive under the pretext of providing backup.

[Time left until the fated moment – 00:24:45]

[PC: Falman]

Falman and Breda head towards the watchtower to look for Hawkeye’s sniper spot. Just to be on the safe side, Falman memorises a guard assignment map of the ceremony area, which turns out useful when a suspicious soldier gives them a literal pop quiz to prove they’re really here as backup. Falman aces it, and Breda sneaks off while he proceeds to distract the soldier… with a long, long, long monologue on the founding of Amestris. Which continues even as the screen fades to black. Who ever said history wasn’t useful?

[Time left until the fated moment – 00:15:22]

[PC: Breda]

Breda sneaks up to the watchtower, and spots Hawkeye through a telescope, at her sniper spot atop the radio tower. He’s then discovered, but manages to send word to Mustang before he’s knocked out.

[Time left until the fated moment – 00:04:48]

[PC: Mustang]

Mustang hears Breda’s message but can’t get any further response from him, and rushes off. Fuery also radios in to warn that Bradley has ordered Mustang’s arrest, saying not to reply before he’s seemingly arrested too. Mustang is then surrounded, but spots a certain gremlin.

[Time left until the fated moment – 00:03:11]

[PC: Ed]

Unsurprisingly, Ed is furious, and proceeds to furiously kick ass via alchemy. Mustang warns him about the plot before leaving. (M: “The Hawk’s Eye is aiming for the stage. She’s being used by them. I don’t want to ask anything of you, but–” E: “Leave it to me.” M: “You’re not surprised? ……so you already noticed.” E: “No. I didn’t know until now.” M: [shrugs with excessive sass])

Other soldiers try to stop Ed, on account of him being Mustang’s ally, leading to an entertaining obstacle course as he dashes towards the stage. (E: “Hah, as if they could keep up with me! [beat] …wait, this isn’t the time for that!”)

We’re now back to the start, at the moment where Claudio begins his speech. From offstage, Ed spots a flash from the radio tower. He rushes forward to tackle Claudio down and gets shot……… on his automail, so it’s all fine!

It gets much less fine a moment later, when the radio tower blows up. Hawkeye pulls Hayate into a hug, trying to shield him as the tower falls onto them, but the entire thing goes up in flames just in time, metal and all. Stunned, Hawkeye turns around amidst the drifting ashes to see none other than…

MUSTANG: Sorry I kept you waiting. You ended up bearing all this alone. HAWKEYE: I chose this myself. MUSTANG: You were trying to protect us, weren’t you? Leave the rest to me. [Hawkeye inhales sharply] Protection is my job. HAWKEYE: Understood.

Meanwhile, back at the ceremony:

AL: Brother! ELENA: Brother! WINRY: Ed! AL: [silently] “Brother”!? Elena definitely said that just now……!

ED: That was close. CLAUDIO: …time to change plans. We’ll retreat for now. [leaves] ED: What was that about……?

There’s a bit more aftermath: Scar talks with another Ishvalan, Envy chews Greed out for letting Hawkeye escape (until Father bitches them out for sibling quarrels), and Bradley says he’ll release Mustang’s team.

We cut to Mustang and Breda right outside the ceremony area:

ED: Is everyone okay!? BREDA: Everyone was let off without censure. Sergeant Fuery, Officer Falman, and Lieutenant Hawkeye are fine too. MUSTANG: “In recognition of heroic actions to save the prince’s life”, apparently. ED: And what about the ceasefire treaty? MUSTANG: It’s taking everything we have just to handle the fallout. About the treaty, or the prince… none of it has been decided. ED: That prince……

AL: [narrating] The prince’s life was saved with Brother’s involvement. It seems that the Fuhrer and his allies had planned from the start to worsen the war by killing the prince. Unaware of all this, Prince Claudio remains in this country, and is said to be hoping to start over on the treaty. But there’s something I’m far more bothered by–

[flashback to Elena shouting “Brother!”]

AL: The word Elena shouted while looking at Prince Claudio… and yet, I wasn’t able to ask her anything. Because it felt like Elena would vanish somewhere, if I did ask……

To be continued.

And last but not least… the trailer for the next chapter!

WINRY: Oh no, it’s terrible! There’s been a case! A locked-room murder! The name of the case is “The Murder of Colonel Roy Mustang”! ED: So you died without achieving your goal… go to your sleep in peace, Colonel. ROY: Hold it right there! I’m still alive! WINRY: I’ll solve this case for sure! I definitely will! Next time, on FMAB: Daughter of the Dusk, Chapter 9 – Automail Mechanic Winry Rockbell’s Splendid Casebook! ROY: Like I said, stop progressing the story however you like! [gets elbowed(??) by Winry] WINRY: Well then, who’s the culprit!?

#fullmetal alchemist #fullmetal alchemist brotherhood #fma #fmab #fma wii #prince of the dawn #daughter of the dusk #fma daughter of dusk #what the heck IS the tag for the game #mine #fma translation #long post #i hope this is a somewhat readable format at least #it was the best i could do within limits of tumblr formatting without making it ridiculously long #ANYWAY YEAH these games do get quite ridiculous at times but i enjoyed watching em more than i expected #especially this part because mustang team shenanigans are always yes #(and also the last part of prince of dawn because riza)#also it's telling that the one line i got seriously stuck on was ed's in the next chap trailer #unsubbed audio will be the actual death of me basically

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calliope-love-corner · 3 years

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Insomnia

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

"Up late again, are we?"

I nearly jump out of my skin at the sudden unexpected voice. Never a dull day in this house.

"CHRIST, Annabelle, you have GOT to stop doing that!" I scold the silhouette against my dark bedroom window, clutching my blankets in tight balled fists, heart pounding. I'd bolted upright from where I'd been comfortably laying down in my bed, a position I had held for the past several hours. I held my phone close to my chest, where it had once hung loosely in my hands, bright screen angled down to my face. Annabelle gave a low, amused chuckle, and folded her arms, leaning on the windowsil.

"Mm. Don't you have an early shift tomorrow?" She asked coyly, ignoring my protests. My heart finally steadying itself, I rub my eyes, trying to adjust them to the dark of my bedroom. She was right- I had to go in at 8 tomorrow- or today, rather, as it was already just past 2am.

"Don't YOU have something to do other than sneak into my room at night!?" I huff, only really half annoyed at her. This wasn't the first time she seemed to pop up out of nowhere. "Seriously, how did you even get IN here?"

I saw her dark outline shrug. "Oh, you know. Dark apartment, bright screen, quiet footsteps. I can just slip right in, and most of the time, you're too preoccupied to notice."

Fair enough. How she got into my apartment in the first place I suppose ill never know, but I guess a girl's gotta have her secrets. I sigh.

"Whatever. Just. Keep the spiders out of here right now."

"Awe, why?" She prods, adding just enough whine to her tone to make her seem a little bit genuinely disappointed. I know her better than that, though, and she knows that she can't play me that easy. She probably already is playing me, though, in some roundabout way. There was something about the web- their girls always knew how to play the long game, and I was always just along for the ride.

"You don't even know they're there! Too dark to see, and ignorance is bliss, is it not?"

I nervously look around in the darkness, trying to scout any sign of hairy legs or scuttling movement. "I think it's the not knowing that's the worst part, honestly."

"If you insist. Fine, I'll leave your room spider-free. For now."

I could almost hear her wink. I let myself relax a little- as much as one can around someone notorious for their manipulation skills. She'd ways been kind to me, though, and even if at the beginning id been extra-cautious about sniffing out ulterior motives, her presence had become sort of a routine for me. I'd let my guard down. I was playing a dangerous game, and I knew that, and part of me was just waiting for the day she decided she'd gotten what she needed from me and betrayed me. Until then, though, she was just too damn charming.

"Thanks. I guess." I purse my lips, well aware that not setting a horde of spiders loose in someone's bedroom was the bare minimum requirement for politeness. Annabelle laughed again.

"You're funny. So, what's keeping you up, then?" She moves to sit down at the edge of my bed, tucking her retro skirt under her legs as she set her slender form on the mattress. Her weight was barely enough to shift the bed at all. I scoot away, either to give her room to sit, or to put a little more space between her and I. I could not confidently tell you which one. I set my phone down on my pillow and crossed my legs.

"Dunno. Can't sleep, don't want to? Something like that." I tuck my legs up, resting my chin on my knees. "I guess I probably could, but I've been taking a lot of benadryl lately, and it'll make me lag in the morning."

"Oh, well, that's nothing one of your fancy energy drinks can't fix, no?"

"I guess not. I mean, ill be tired no matter what, and a monster will always get me going, but I sorta have to get out of bed in the first place to drink one."

"And that's the hardest part then, isn't it."

"Mm."

This is far too mundane for her to want to really talk about. I wonder why she's really here.

"Guess you have a choice to make, then. Wait 'till you get tired naturally, which could take ages, knowing you- or make yourself sleep and face the consequences in the morning."

I flop back down onto my mountain of pillows, and grumble. "I'm shit at decisions. No matter how simple."

Annabelle laughed again, sweet and genuine and low in her throat. I smile a little. "It's true. You can never make up your mind, can you? Always have to stop and think."

"Mm," I agree. "If you asked me who I would save if my mom and my best friend were hanging off the edge of a cliff, I think I'd just fucking throw myself off."

Another laugh from my visitor. I feel proud of myself for amusing her, a reminder of my place in nearly every friend group I've ever been in as 'the funny one' since as long as I can remember. It feels good to make people laugh.

"So hard on yourself today." She poses the thought in a way that's more fond and inquisitive than accusatory. "Why?"

I crack my knuckles one at a time absentmindedly. "Well, I'm still switching over my medication, so I've felt pretty weird all day. Spacey. More dissociative than usual."

"Oh?"

"Mm. Mirrors have been especially unkind to me today." I continue. "The caffeine probably didn't help either. It's been all spiraling thoughts and impulse ideas and such since I woke up, really."

"Is that so?"

"Yeah. I was feeling fine last week though. Parents want me to wait until I'm all switched over before asking to go back on my 20-dose in the morning, but I think I've already decided that's what I wanna do."

I glance over at her sharp brown eyes, that look almost burgundy in just the right light. They're quite freaky, really. Now that my vision has adjusted to the dark, I see her intently looking down at me, as if hung on every word I say.

"Also," I start, realizing how long I've gone on for. "You are FAR too good at making me talk."

"Hah," she smiles. "Maybe consider: you just talk a lot?"

"True. Never been good at shutting up."

"Or maybe I just like listening! Who's to say?" She gives a coy shrug. I squint at her, the traces of a grin tugging at my lips.

"Who's to say." I repeat with a sort of finality, finding myself enamored with the moment. The moment of pause between her next speaking point seems to stretch on for hours before she finally makes the call to break the silence.

"You know," she starts, with that voice of hers that I could never seem to tune out. "I've not really minded our chats lately, really! You're very funny."

"First of all, I know," I accept the compliment. "Second of all, you minded before?"

I'm not exactly hurt by the revelation, per se, more surprised that she's even acknowledged a change in her out attitude out loud. If her attitude has changed at all. I'm not stupid- I know what the web does. I know I can never truly, wholly believe anything she says. But I can choose to try, if just for now.

"Sure," she shrugs. "Most of the time, when I talk to people- especially any of you assistants, good lord- it's busywork. Chores to do, to check off the list. But lately, I've found myself looking forward to our visits. Isn't that strange?"

Always turning things into a question for me to answer. Always trying to get something more out of me. Information, my thoughts. She needs to know how I feel. What I'm feeling now, how I felt earlier, how I'll feel later, how I feel about her. I'm a puzzle piece. I'm a pawn in a big, web-infested game of chess, but my heart still skips a beat when she tells me she actually sort of likes spending time with me, even if she is lying. She probably is.

I decide not to give her the satisfaction of telling her how I feel with this one.

"Personally, I think I'd look forward to them a lot more if you didn't scare the absolute shit out of me every fuckin' time."

She laughs again. "Oh, come on, now. I have to do something to keep in interesting, right? Have to keep you on your toes somehow. If you expect me, I become SIGNIFIFANTLY less scary."

That was true enough. I really didn't mind the occasional jumpscare, to be honest. It did keep things interesting as she said.

"Whatever." I roll my eyes in mock annoyance. She stands up, straightens out her skirt, and folds her arms neatly behind her back.

"Well, I suppose i should get going, then. Don't want to keep you up too long." She smiles.

"What, that's it for tonight? Where's the pizazz, the charm, that signature web flare?"

Annabelle chuckles. "Afraid so, darling. And you know very well that the web works more in subtlety than any other power." She strolls lazily over to the side of the bed. I watch her carefully with my hands folded behind my head.

"Wouldn't exactly call giant fucked up spiders all that subtle."

"Everyone's a critic, I suppose. But a literal fly on the wall seems a little too obvious, no?"

"Touche."

She huffs a final little laugh, and chances a carefully manicured hand to the side of my head, brushing a bit of hair off of my face. I hold completely and utterly still, biting down hard on my cheek. As she pulls away with an elegantly devious smile across her face, a few silver wisps of cobweb trail behind, woven messily into my curls at her touch. I let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding, and annabelle rests her hands daintily in front of her.

"Don't get too comfortable, love. Lest you forget we feed on fear?"

I swallow hard, and cannot find a response in time. Annabelle has already started out the door.

"You really should sleep, you know. Big day tomorrow."

This snaps me out of my frozen state. "Wait, what?" I call after her, the sound of her heels clicking through my apartment getting fainter as she leaves. I just KNOW she's smiling like the devious bastard she is. "What's tomorrow?? It's just Wednesday???"

The door clicks open, and then shut. She's gone.

"You're a real cryptic bitch sometimes!" I yell after her in vain, rolling over onto my side. I bring a hand to my forehead and grasp at the loose tendrils of web, combing them out of my hair and flicking them aside. I close my eyes, and soon enough, I am fast asleep.

#trapped in my head🗯#fictional other #f/o #selfshipping #selfship #tma selfship #all part of the master plan 🕷💐🕸#a little bit of writing for my insomnia. it worked too!! im quite tired after writing this #thanks annabelle♡♡

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suncityblues · 3 years

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No Do Overs

Dean/Cas + Sam 6k words https://archiveofourown.org/works/28034862

Sam and Dean end up renting a house just outside Saint Cloud, Minnesota. It’s a single storey brick building with a little fireplace and a big backyard. Two bedrooms, two bathrooms, a kitchen. A living room with enough space for a couch, a tv, and a bookshelf. Ugly yellow-tan walls and blue checkered tablecloths, Bob Ross knock offs and seashell art.

It reminds them a bit of the motel rooms they had grown up in. Uniformal and familiar in some ways, a clean slate in others.

“Cozy,” Dean says sarcastically on their first walk through. “Hah, yeah,” Sam agrees with a huffy laugh, trying to disentangle himself from a low hanging seashell themed windchime.

Six months later they’re still living there. One closet is filled with weapons and other hunter ephemera, and there are sigils and protective warding where they need to be, but from the outside everything looks exactly the same. They’re just two adult brothers and a shaggy dog living in a house that looks like it was decorated by their grandma. Sam’s talked about maybe getting a plant or putting up the free calendar they got with their purchase from the dog food store but doesn’t seem to ever get around to it, and Dean doesn’t even pretend to settle in. As cliche as it sounds, when push comes to shove neither of them really know how to make a house into a home.

But they’re trying.

They’re trying because everything they did, every hurt and every loss they suffered, they did to get to this place. And never in a million years did they think they’d get this far, or feel this free, and it’s not an easy adjustment. There’s a loss there too, the dream they’d held on to for so long is real, and has gutters that need to be cleaned, and a dog that needs to be walked, and now they have to make up new things to hope for.

And, they’re trying for Jack. Because Jack brought everything back, and everyone, to make them happy. To give them the life they wanted. Sam and Dean know they don’t owe Jack anything but they want to give him something. In some roundabout way they want to make him proud.

They hear through the grapevine that Jack brought Castiel back first. That it was Cas who scooped everyone who wanted to be scooped out of heaven and popped them back into existence outside the bunker, but the angel doesn’t stick around. He’s not at the big spontaneous party that ensues, and he doesn’t show up in the weeks afterward where everyone hangs around the bunker getting their bearings and planning out their new lives.

Most people courteously pretend to not pick up on how cranky this makes Dean, or how often he checks his phone. Except for Bobby who tells him he’s a dumbass in a way that somehow sounds apologetic, and Charlie who gives him a lopsided smile every time they’re in the same room. It makes Dean feel overly seen which he’s not sure he’s ready for, even though he knows they love him, so he’s grateful when people start to go their separate ways. Though there is, of course, an active group chat and almost daily phone calls.

In a dream Jack had pulled them each aside and told them this is it. No do-overs this time. This world is really real, and they’re going to grow old or die trying. Then, just like that, he’s off to his big home renovation in the sky, with a placid smile and a “catch ya later.” It gives everyone a lot to think about, and a very bizarre and specific feeling of knowing God’s phone number.

Sam and Dean decide to leave the bunker, and retire. Maybe temporarily, or maybe permanently, they’re not sure. They collectively decide they need a break, at the very least, and they’ll figure the rest of it out from there. They don’t say it out loud but they don’t need to after so many years: they want to know what the world can look like without the constant pressing fear of death, or their father, or great cosmic importance.

The first house they find with a sweet elderly landlord who accepts suspect money orders and doesn’t do background checks is in St. Cloud. Eileen stays with them for a few weeks and then realizes she can’t do it, domesticity is not the thing she hoped it would be, and returns to the bunker. It makes Sam sad, and a little sullen, but he understands and doesn’t fault her for leaving.

Dean doesn’t bring it up.

—

Sam decides to get a day job to distract himself, and reliably pay their bills without having to scam credit cards or hustle pool anymore. His fake ID says Sam Westen.

Sam Westen has a business degree from a Canadian college no one’s ever heard of and works in insurance billing for the local hospital. He wouldn’t call them friends but his coworkers are pleasant. Not too nosey about why he doesn’t have an accent, or why he lives with his brother at the age of thirty nine.

When they do ask conversationally about how he came to move there, he considers lying and saying his great aunt left them the house when she passed, but he knows from experience these communities are small enough that little lies can come back to bite him in the ass so instead he says, “We’re both trying to get back on our feet after breakups.” In some ways it’s true, and Sam is actually a little relieved to not be making it up.

Finding things in common with his coworkers, or anyone really, is a challenge but he doesn’t hate hearing about the friendly ER nurse’s kid or breakroom speculation about whether or not it’ll snow, as much as he expected he would. One day it sneaks up on him that he can see himself moving forward, and maybe making a life here. St. Cloud is as good as anywhere, really.

He worries he’s compartmentalizing too much though, but he’s not sure how else to adjust to a world that’s not ending imminently. He’s never had to think about global warming before, or a 401K, but he’s doing his best.

—

Dean, on the other hand, prefers to mope.

At night when everything is quiet he can hear the distant sound of cars on the highway from his bed and sometimes it gets too much for him and he’ll take off. Only for a day or two, and always with a note left for Sam on the table or stuck to the fridge. He could text or say something but he’s afraid Sam might try and stop him, or talk to him about his feelings.

Dean’s not stupid, he’s noticed how Sam’s brow furrows at him when he thinks Dean can’t see. They know each other better than anyone else, and Dean can sense there’s only so much time before Sam’s patience runs out and they have a fight or a drunken heart-to-heart or both. Dean’s trying to stretch the remaining time out for as long as he can.

When he leaves, he drives aimlessly. Music loud, just him and the road, like how it used to be in that narrow space before everything happened when Sam was in school and his father had cut him loose. It was lonely at times but the grip of the steering wheel made him feel safe and like he had a purpose, like he was doing things for a reason rather than just wasting time or avoiding his problems, and in a way it still does, so he always comes back to the car, and to the aimless driving.

He figures that if he had been given a different life he still would have wanted to spend it on the road. Maybe he would have been a trucker. Or a door to door salesman, charming lonely housewives into buying vacuum cleaners all over the nation. He knows it’s dangerous to dream about what the past could have been, that it just reminds him that he’s pushing forty-two years old and has no idea what to do with himself, but does it anyway. The other thing about aimless driving is that it has this way of bringing up buried thoughts and forcing Dean to process them, especially when he doesn’t want to.

He tends to think about the same couple of things on repeat. How at this age people are supposed to have families. A kid, a job, something, something. It’s an old wound for him, and he’s gotten tired of rubbing salt in it but there was a time when he wanted a normal life so badly it hurt to even think about. And now, with the possibility laid out for the taking he’s hesitant to pick it up, and that sucks too. He thinks he might be a little jealous of Eileen, figuring out what she truly wanted so quickly and then acting on it. Then he thinks about Lisa, but only for a moment.

He wishes he could become a new, different person. Someone who knows who they want to be, and how to not hurt everyone around him. Because, god, he is so fucking sick of being Dean Winchester.

And, he wishes Castiel would just pick up his goddamn cellphone.

Dean looks through the mirror at the back seat more often than he should, and especially when this line of thinking wiggles its way into his brain. He doesn’t find anything there, doesn’t expect to, but keeps looking anyway.

Dean’s seen glimpses of Castiel mentioned in the group chat, and it’s a relief. Apparently he talks to Charlie sometimes, but only in dreams and only on rare occasions. He’s not much for answering phones or prayers, but according to her seems okay, maybe a little busy helping Jack. She very deliberately mentions that heaven seems to have a minimal interference policy these days, but wants to know if Cas has appeared to anyone in person in a while. Anyone at all.

Dean doesn’t know how to read into the situation. He’s not sure if Cas is avoiding him because he has to, or because he wants to, or because he thinks Dean doesn’t want to see him. For a brief moment Dean had let himself believe that their communication problems were over, now that Cas had come back from the empty. Now that feelings had been spoken out loud, and finally put into concrete terms. Love. Romantic, explicit love. That maybe there was a happy ending for Dean Winchester, somewhere out there. But now he doesn’t know, and isn’t sure if he ever will, not if Cas keeps avoiding him. It doesn’t feel too good to think about.

When his mood starts to take this particular downturn Dean usually finds a bar, hustles pool to pay his tab and drinks for a while to clear his mind. If he gets too drunk he’ll find a motel, or crash in the Impala even though these days it makes his back ache like hell.

But, he’s still the same handsome, charming Dean Winchester and people come on to him often but he can’t bring himself to go home with any of them these days. Sometimes it’s because he’s too old for them. Sometimes it’s because they’re too drunk. When he can’t think of an excuse he slips out the door when they’re in the bathroom. Dick move, he knows.

He likes the steady hum of human interaction, and the freedom of never seeing these people after this night, but that’s it.

Except.

One night, at a biker bar in Lincoln, Nebraska Dean gets whiskey drunk. Feeling chaotic and sad and self destructive he says to the bartender, “I lost someone I loved recently, and I don’t think he’s ever coming back. And I’m pretty sure it’s my own damn fault for feeling like that. But, fuck, I wish he’d come back.”

He’s never said the words out loud like that before. It sobers him up immediately, because he’s in mixed company and who knows what kind of assholes are hanging around looking for a fight. Dean would have left right then and there if the bartender didn’t give him a beer and a shot on the house.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” the bartender had said, and Dean knew he meant it. He was tall but not as tall as Dean, and tan, and thick lipped. Dark blue eyes, a bit of stubble. Terribly similar but not quite right. Still, Dean ended up staying until he was the only one left and halfway blacked out. At the end of the night the bartender had given him a pity handjob in the men’s room and then told him to head out so he could close up.

“But, hey, don’t drive tonight, okay?” he’d said, and that was that.

Before Dean passes out in the Impala he wonders if maybe he reminded the bartender of someone he’d lost, too.

—

Time keeps passing.

They’ve been in the house for nine months. It’s the dead of winter in Minnesota and everyday is somehow colder than the last one.

Sam has a girlfriend now. Her name is Mia, she’s blonde and wirey, has a seven year old kid named Leo and a deadbeat ex named Jonah. She’s a little damaged and rough around the edges but hard working, and smart. An ER nurse with a dark sense of humor, but under it all it’s easy to tell she’s an optimist, even when she has no reason to be. Dean likes her very much, and is happy for Sam.

But, Sam starts spending more time away from the house, and from Dean. It makes Dean feel like one of his organs is missing sometimes, but he resolves to get used to it, for Sammy’s sake.

Sam still gives him sad, searching looks when Dean comes back from a stint on the road, but says nothing. Dean pretends not to notice. They still haven’t had their fight, but the tension is palpable between them.

Dean thinks about getting a job but never follows through. He picks up smoking because, why not, he doesn’t have to keep himself in top hunting shape anymore, then quits. It’s too cold to hang around outside and it makes his lungs feel like shit, besides.

He gains healthy weight, and his cheeks look less hollowed out. He jogs with the dog and lifts weights to pass the time and somehow feels stronger than he used to be, but not as quick. He starts to feel like he’s inhabiting a stranger’s body, instead of his own, and doesn’t like that either.

Occasionally, Sam will gently suggest that Dean go out and meet someone. Download an app, maybe. Try and reach out again to… he never quite finishes the sentence. Sam intentionally doesn’t mention gender and the unspoken encouragement sits heavy and weird between them. Sam’s known for a long time and doesn’t care. He guesses everyone in his life knows, at this point. Dean’s tried to be subtle, with other men, with how he looked at Cas sometimes but it’s hard to keep things like that from the people who love you.

Still, it’s an uncomfortable subject to broach for the brothers, not because of the bisexuality thing but because it requires a level of emotional honesty and vulnerability neither of them have much experience with.

Sam just wants his big brother to be happy, to find someone, and to have something, anything to look forward to. Dean’s had that black mark on his heart his whole life, and Sam doesn’t think he can grieve Dean even one more time, or go through the rest of his life without his big brother to talk to. Not now.

It makes Dean feel guilty, like he’s hurting Sam by not being happy, because Sam is struggling too and worrying about Dean is just another issue on top of a mountain of issues. Besides, Dean is so, so tired of making Sam worry.

But he keeps up his disappearing act. He thinks it would probably be worse for them both if he didn’t.

—

Then, somewhere on the road between La Crosse and Dubuque, Dean sees a man in a trenchcoat standing under a streetlight. Dean stops the car but when he does a double take the man is gone.

It’s dark and Dean is tired so he tells himself he’s seeing things, and continues driving. He does not let himself hope.

—

It keeps happening though.

Small glimpses here and there. In a gas station in Boise, a dive bar in Pecatonica. Never in his car, which Dean is oddly grateful for, if only because he thinks he might be so irritated that he swerves off the road. But it pisses him off, all the same.

Because if Cas is going to come back like nothing happened and start acting like some kind of guardian angel, Dean is not going to play ball.

About a month in, Dean gets fed up and decides to pray. Just a simple: “Where are you?”

He gets nothing back. Life continues as normal. Dean can’t stop himself from feeling a little annoyed about it.

—

Then one day there he is. Poof. Just like that.

The microwave clock says 5:45 AM, and Dean is stumbling in after a long night. The grey-blue of early morning light comes in through the windows and there’s snow falling outside for the fourth day in a row. Castiel is sitting at the kitchen table, waiting patiently in the half-dark.

“Hello Dean,” he says.

Dean pauses, blinks slowly, and then silently walks past the angel and goes into his room to sleep. He thinks he can hear an irritated huff on his way out. Good.

About two hours later Sam shakes him awake.

“Cas is home” He says excitedly. Dean rolls out of bed. Reminds himself to make fun of Sam at a later date.

—

Something strange is happening in Altoona, Pennsylvania.

People are disappearing for days at a time, then reappearing as though nothing happened. The last thing any of them can remember is a flash of bright light over the Mill Run River. Claire is there checking it out and Castiel had been keeping an eye on her, and recently started providing an assist when needed. They’ve hit a dead end with their research.

“Claire suggested I come and ask you, I know you’re not in the game per se anymore but—“

“Aliens?” Sam cuts him off, incredulous. Dean can almost see the gears clicking together inside his brother’s head. “This isn’t the frickin X-files,” Dean kvetches. He’s still mad at Cas but he’s interested in the case, in solving the mystery, and he can’t seem to muster up the energy to make a big deal right now. He hates to admit it but seeing Cas alive and well in front of him replaces most of his anger with relief. Dean wishes dearly that he could reach out and touch him.

Cas nods slowly. “Claire’s been looking into it, but can’t seem to find any relevant patterns. I thought you two might know something.”

Dean puts on a pot of coffee while Sam gets his laptop.

No one says anything about Castiel disappearing on them for almost an entire year, or asks why he decided to show up in person for something that could have easily been a phone call, or even why Claire never thought to tell anyone Cas was spending time with her. But Sam is watching them both with a kind of intensity that makes Dean think he might get a sunburn on the back of his head from the heat of it. Cas doesn’t seem to notice.

The best explanation they can come up with is a Spooklight. A soul trapped searching for a lost lover. Relatively harmless, a standard salt and burn once they locate the bones.

“Huh,” Sam says after he reads the definition out loud. If Dean didn’t know better he’d think his brother sounded a little smug.

Castiel thanks them and then he’s gone. In the distance Dean hears the clink of the seashell wind chimes on the front porch.

“Huh,” Sam says again, this time in Dean’s direction, “I thought there’d be more yelling.”

Dean ignores him and gets himself a breakfast beer, while Sam texts the group chat.

—

Castiel returns occasionally after that, usually with questions about a hunt he could probably answer himself. He’s been keeping an eye on Claire it seems, keeping her safe, though he knows he should just let things take their course like he’s supposed to. But he has some Claire-related guilt to work through, and it’s not like he has to follow any rules in heaven anymore, anyway. He is God’s dad, after all.

At some point Sam asks why Castiel stayed away for so long, and Cas replies simply, “I had thought you might like some time to adjust.” Sam gets a little huffy, but makes Cas promise not to do it again. They are both studiously avoiding Dean’s direction when they talk.

Later, Sam speculates to Dean that Castiel is in the same boat as they are: not fully able to accept everything is over. And, maybe a little bored.

Sam has said “I wish he’d just come home, and stay here,” so many times and in such a pointed way that it makes Dean want to hit him or break something.

More recently, Cas has come by just to say hello, but only ever when Sam is home. Because Sam had specifically asked him to, and Castiel doesn’t like saying no to his friends. They’ll watch TV or talk about Sam’s coworkers and sometimes Castiel will talk about a particularly interesting hunt he’d helped Claire with, and then stop himself, and ask if it’s okay to continue. Both Winchesters listen with rapt attention, and always ask for more details. Cas has met Mia and they get along, he’s even babysat Leo so Sam and her can go to an R rated movie. Mia’s never asked Dean to babysit. When Dean finds out he’s not jealous but he is something.

Dean finds himself staying around the house more in case Cas stops by while he’s out. He goes a whole month without leaving, a record for him. He can tell Sam’s noticed, and is pleased. They still haven’t had their fight.

Castiel continues to pop up in the corner of Dean’s eye from time to time when he’s out, until one day Dean gets fed up and yells “Knock it off!” To a very confused Buffalo Wild Wings employee.

Dean has to tip extra to make up for it and mentally adds it to Cas’ tab. He thinks it’s around a million billion dollars now.

—

It’s early spring, and still unbearably cold outside.

Dean now owns a pair of sturdy waterproof boots that are fuzzy on the inside. They’re so warm that he doesn’t even care that they’re ridiculous and girly. If he’s got to shovel and salt the walkway for the third time that week, he’ll be damned if he’s going to do it with cold feet.

Dean could pretend to be surprised when Castiel pops into existence on their front porch but there’s no point. Almost nothing surprises him, and hasn’t for a long time.

“Dean” Castiel says grimly, “I apologize if I offended you.”

It takes Dean a moment to even remember what Cas is talking about.

“Is this about Buffalo Wild Wings, man?” He asks. He keeps his tone light, like an exasperated joke.

Castiel nods. “Yes.”

Dean exhales loudly through his nose.

“I’ve been keeping an eye on you, to make sure you were adjusting well, but I didn’t realize I was being so… conspicuous,” Cas continues with a head tilt.

Dean doesn’t think this is completely true, Cas can become an invisible wave of celestial intent on a whim but Dean doesn’t want to argue about it.

“It’s whatever, Cas, but you know you can just text me if you want to check in, right?” Dean says carefully, “We’re, ah, we’re friends.” Then, with emphasis, “We’re family.” He knows those aren’t the words he wants to say, and feels a sharp pang at the unhappy look on Cas’ face when he repeats Dean with a nod, “Friends.” But Dean doesn’t know what else to call them. It’s been almost a year of radio silence.

He still wants to get mad, he wants to yell and and throw things and ask Cas what the fuck happened back then, to please just spell out how he feels, but the truth is, Dean’s not sure he’s brave enough to hear the answer. You don’t avoid someone for a year for no reason and it’s all kind of a headache.

Dean realizes belatedly that this is the first time Cas has come to visit when Sam isn’t around to referee. He stands in the snow and wants to tell Cas to stay and watch an old movie with him but can’t seem to find the words so he just keeps shoveling. He thinks about putting his arm around Cas. He thinks about leaning over and kissing him during the closing credits. Then, he feels stupid and embarrassed. He doesn’t need to look up to know Castiel is gone.

About forty five minutes later Dean takes off for the first time in a long while. He forgets to leave Sam a note and wakes up in Minot to five missed calls.

Just another fuckup for Dean to add to his ever growing list of fuckups.

—

Castiel stays away for a few weeks after that, and Dean can’t help himself from taking it out on innocent bystanders. Usually it’s Sam, sometimes it’s dinner plates, other times it’s Jim Beam.

When he finally reappears in the kitchen it’s as smooth a landing as it always is, but Cas seems a little off kilter. When Sam asks about it, Cas brushes him off. Sam doesn’t press the issue, and instead asks about how Claire is doing.

Dean is cooking some eggplant recipe Sam printed out from the internet and pretends not to be listening as intently to their conversation as he is.

Mia and Leo are on their way over for dinner and Dean has the sinking realization he’s been lured into a trap. Cas would never say no to doing a favor for Sam, even if it’s just to pretend to eat during a family dinner. Dean has no excuse. He really should have known something was up when Sam told him to double the recipe and he can’t believe he’s stuck cooking dinner for his own trap. Typical.

Dean gets a beer from the fridge to drink while he cooks.

“Hey, Cas” he says on his way. He cautiously pats Cas on the shoulder.

“Hello, Dean” Castiel replies.

—

Dinner isn’t as awkward as Dean had expected.

Mia tells a grizzly story about an ER case involving a wood chipper and a truckload of watermelons which enthralls Dean. Castiel covers Leo’s ears while she tells it, but nods along, fascinated. Sam’s heard the story before but enjoys the company, and he keeps looking hopefully between Dean and Castiel. Dean pretends not to notice, but some part of him wants to chuck a fork at Sam’s head.

After dinner they eat a fudgy cake Mia had brought and watch a movie about a gruff-yet-socially-inept detective trying to solve his wife’s murder. It’s boring, and Dean’s seen this kind of movie a million times before so he gets a beer and takes it outside to drink. The weather is finally warm enough that the snow’s melted into sloppy mud but cold enough that Dean needs to wear a jacket.

Still, it’s nice to not be stuck inside all the time anymore. Dean thinks he’s officially over midwestern winters.

He’s not surprised when Cas joins him. He has a beer in his hand too, which Dean knows is actually for him. Just keeping up appearances for the unsuspecting humans, as Castiel likes to do, but he’s forgotten to pretend to need a coat. Dean doesn’t bother telling him to get one since Mia is so busy snuggling into Sam’s side that she probably didn’t notice anything.

They sit on the back porch in silence for a while, watching the stars.

After a moment Castiel says, “You know, Dean, I heard your prayer. I’m sorry I didn’t come. I wasn’t sure if you...” he trails off.

“What, in the car?” Dean asks. “That was nothing, no big” he shakes it off like it didn’t put him in a bad mood for a week afterwards.

”In the bar” Castiel corrects, “In Lincoln.”

”Oh,” is all Dean can muster. He’s a little embarrassed Cas saw that but doesn’t let it show.

They’re quiet again, then Cas turns towards him. He starts to say something but Dean shakes his head and Castiel stops.

Dean drinks a few more beers, and then sneaks two fingers of whiskey while Sam walks Mia to her car. Castiel stays by Dean’s side. It feels like old times. They shoot the shit, and Cas even laughs at Dean’s jokes. Dean didn’t realize how much he missed the sound.

Maybe it’s the alcohol or maybe it’s the late hour, but Dean falls asleep with his head on Cas’ shoulder. He wakes up a few hours later hungover and sour mouthed but warm, unnaturally so. Castiel is still next to him. He smiles benevolently down at Dean. Dean smiles back.

He acts on autopilot and presses a chaste good-morning kiss to Cas’ lips, like he always wanted to do. Because this world is real now, and maybe he can do that. Just once, so he knows what it feels like.

Then Castiel disappears, and Dean falls out of the chair.

—

Dean can tell Sam’s disappointed in him when Dean says he fell asleep outside.

“That’s it?” Sam asks “You just fell asleep?” He cocks his head, “Nothing else happened?” “Nope,” Dean confirms, tensely. He hates this conversation deeply. “Oh. Cas didn’t say goodbye, so I thought maybe—“

Sam’s trying to tiptoe around Dean’s own hang ups. Dean can tell he’s really trying.

Dean’s head is pounding as he gets himself a cup of coffee, takes a sip, then says fuck it and pours a bit of whiskey in it too. Hair of the dog and all that.

Sam huffs.

“You’re forty-two years old, Dean Winchester” he snaps. Dean knew this fight was a long time coming, and is honestly relieved it’s finally bubbled to the surface, but the difference between them right now is especially stark. Dean is unemployed, hungover, wearing yesterday’s clothes and drinking in the morning. Sam is ready for work, having already gone for a jog and showered. Dean can smell Sam’s fancy shower scrub from a few feet away. Sandal wood.

Sam gets up and grabs his work bag, says “When are you ever going to grow up, Dean?” But doesn’t wait for an answer. Not like Dean would have one anyway.

Dean pours a little more whiskey into his coffee while he watches Sam pull out of the driveway in his used Ford. He thinks to text Castiel and apologize but then decides not to. He feels like a tool who is ruining everything all the time and totally incapable of changing, and he doesn’t know how to properly convey that in text form without sounding needy or unhinged.

Instead, Dean jerks off in the shower, gets dressed, and writes Sam a note. Then he gets in the Impala and takes off.

He makes it halfway to Bemidji before he breaks down and prays. He stops to piss on the side of the road in some no-name stretch of forest between Bakus and Akeley and when he gets back in the car Cas is there waiting for him in the passenger seat.

“Took you long enough,” Dean teases as he pulls back onto the road, but it’s an act and they both know it. “Dean.” Cas says his name like it’s a warning. Dean knows Cas might bail out at any moment, so he stops kidding around.

It helps Dean to have his eyes on the road while he’s talking. It settles him down, and it’s easier to say what he wants to say without having to make eye contact.

It still takes him a moment to compose himself.

“I’m sorry” he says, “for yesterday, I didn’t mean to upset you. And I don’t want you to disappear on me, on us, again.”

Cas is quiet. They don’t say anything for a long time. And then, sadly: “I was trying to be your friend Dean. I was trying to be family. Friends don’t kiss each other. But I wanted to kiss you, so I thought maybe...”

On a whim Dean turns and starts driving towards Grand Forks. Some lame joke about friends with benefits being totally valid bounces around in his brain but he doesn’t say it. When it becomes clear Castiel isn’t going to say anything else, Dean sighs.

“Listen, Cas, I’m bad at this. You know I’m bad at this. Talking. Feelings. All of it. But,” Dean doesn’t have to look over to make sure Cas is still there but does anyway, “I want to try. With you. For real. If you want.”

Dean can feel Castiel’s stare on him for a long time. He gets nervous so he goes on.

“And. And I wish I had told you how I felt years ago, I wish I had had the chance to-to make you happy,” Dean is glad he’s able to look at the road and not Castiel, “But, fuck, why didn’t you come back?”

“I’m sorry, Dean” Castiel relies, cautiously, “I should have. I thought maybe you wouldn’t want to see me, and I was afraid, but I know now that was stupid.” A bitter pause, “I tried to give you space, to let you move on. And, Dean, you were supposed to move on, and forget me, and be happy.”

Dean’s not sure what to make of that, and doesn’t want Cas to disappear out of the car on him so he reaches over and grabs Cas’ hand in his. It’s warm.

The words don’t come easy so he hopes Cas hears the prayer: I could never, ever be happy if I didn’t have you here.

They keep driving in silence for a long time until Cas says: “Pull over there”, and points at a sign for a roadside diner just off the next exit, “I want French fries.”

This, Dean knows, is bullshit but he does what he’s told.

They eat French fries and drink stale coffee and talk.

On the way back to the car, Dean pushes Castiel up against the side of the Impala and kisses him and doesn’t care who sees. Castiel kisses back this time. Dean feels the happiest he has in a long, long time.

—

It’s the very end of summer and Mia is moving into the brick house with the little fireplace and the big backyard. She’s insisting on painting the walls, and getting rid of the seashell art. She keeps the Bob Ross knockoffs though, says she finds them calming after a stressful work day.

Leo is moving into Dean’s old room.

Sam bought a fold out couch for whenever Dean is back in town, and when they save up he promises they’ll move into a house with a guest room just for him. And Cas. And the dog.

Dean pats him on the shoulder. In exchange, Dean promises to check in with Sam every day, and call if they ever need help with anything. Dean plans to, and misses Sam already but knows it’s time.

Even after two years, everything Dean owns can fit in three duffel bags, one for clothes, and two for weapons. He puts them in the trunk of the Impala and looks up at the house one more time, then gets in. Cas is waiting for him in the passenger seat.

“Where to?” Dean asks. “Anywhere,” Cas replies.

And, so, Dean drives off aimlessly.

#destiel #fic #supernatural #dean winchester/castiel #My fic #spn #i’m going to cross post some of my fics to tumblr today fyi

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maryellencarter · 4 years

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Queer asks copied from @corelliaxdreaming :

1. Is your family accepting? -- Hah. No. My bio-family is not accepting at allllll, so I went and got myself an internet family instead.

2. What is your sexuality? -- Weird. The strongest part of my identity is Aromantic. I seem to be pretty much allosexual, maybe bisexual; most of the people I find myself attracted to are men within a fairly specific category (physically fit to muscular, at least as competent as me, kind, and often a bit dorky; I also have a weakness for clever hands and sexy voices), but the women I'm attracted to cover a much broader range of appearances and personalities. I fall pretty much in the category of the one Tumblr post that said something like "Being bisexual means you're attracted to three specific fictional men and all women", even though the attraction to men... feels... more attraction-y? I'm still really struggling to figure that difference out.

3. What is your gender identity? -- Sort of genderfluid, sort of genderqueer, sort of maybe agnostically agender? I used to ID really strongly as a trans man, and then after a year or so of being accepted, I found myself turning female. I bounced back and forth for a lot of years but seem to have settled down at a point where it doesn't especially matter to me most of the time. Which is a lot more comfortable than hurtling around to different points on the gender spectrum without warning.

4. Favorite color? -- Blue. Royal blue, mostly. That really deep sky blue you get sometimes during the fall. A bunch of really bright colors.

5. When did you find out your sexuality? -- Oh, it's been a process. For a long time I identified as asexual. It took me years to figure out I was actually romance-repulsed, and more years to figure out I had any attraction to women. I'm still sort of confused by that part. Like I mostly just want to look at them being pretty, but I also definitely want to look at their boobs? Maybe touch some boobs? I'm honestly not sure.

6. What do you wish you could tell your past self? -- Oh lord. Sexuality and gender wise? I'm not sure young me could have been hurried along the process of self discovery. I'd really like to tell her she was being abused and gaslighted and that she needed to take her great-aunt's offer of a free ride and major in geology *before* she broke her health, and maybe also tell her she needed a CPAP machine, but she might just think I was a temptation of the Devil. Also I'm not sure if the CPAP machine was an option before Obamacare. Or the psych meds she needed, either.

7. Have you changed labels since realizing you were queer? -- Oh yeah, all over the place. Asexual, trans, genderqueer, biromantic (for about a week), aromantic allosexual bisexual maybe pansexual... some people apparently even count PCOS as an intersex condition, since I have a lot more beard and chest hair than is normal for perisex women, to the point that I always have to explain to a new doctor that I'm not in fact on testosterone, my body just does that. I've never quite felt right claiming the intersex label, but I've tried on a lot of others. I think my header may still say "queer on every conceivable axis".

8. How was your day? -- Um. I got stuck wandering Cracked.com for most of it. Then I drove up to check out my pulmonologist's office, which doesn't *say* they're closed for the pandemic, so I guess I'll go up again on Thursday and poke them about whether my appointment still exists. Then I went and wandered around a very large very dead mall on that side of town, hatched a bunch of pokeymans, then came home and ate some split pea soup.

9. Do you have any queer friends irl? -- I don't have *any* friends irl, and it's kicking my ass. I have like one or two coworkers I could hypothetically hang out with outside of work if we weren't so all-fired busy. But if we're talking "friends I have seen irl at some point", I'm pretty sure they're all queer. They might also be limited to @tigerkat24 and one other person who doesn't use Tumblr, I'm not sure.

10. What's your favorite hobby? -- Probably knitting. It's soft and squishy and brightly colored, and it can be as brainless or as complex as I could possibly want.

11. Who's the best queer icon in your opinion? -- I honestly don't have an opinion. I've always been too far outside the community to figure out whomst the options were.

12. Which pride flags do you like the most design / color wise? -- Pansexual. I'd probably have a lot more pride merch if I IDed as pan, but it just never feels like it fits quite right.

13. Do you wish you could change any pride flags? -- YES. The aro flag is the exact same colors as the agender flag, just in a different arrangement, and it pisses me off because you can't distinguish aro merch from agender merch unless it's specifically flag shaped / has the stripe arrangement. I liked the yellow/orange/green/black aro flag, I found it much more cheerful, but apparently it was too similar to something Rastafarian. But you can't find alloaro flag merch at *all*, even though it has the green and yellow, which I like.

14. Are you openly out? -- Can't really help it, since I legally changed my name to a distinctively masculine one back in the day, and I do not remotely pass as male. So anybody who both sees or hears me and knows my legal name, knows there's *something* queerish going on. (I go by a gender neutral name these days, but haven't yet been arsed to change it legally because it's an entire hassle and a half.)

15. Are you comfortable with yourself? -- Mneh. I'm not *un*comfortable with my gender and sexuality, particularly. Sometimes I wish I could pass as male, sometimes I wish I could have cute cleavage. Sometimes I tie myself in knots with my feelings about women.

16. Do you experience dysphoria? -- I used to, very strongly. It hasn't been very aggressive lately.

17. Bottom, top, or verse? -- *shrugs* I guess I'd be a switch or "verse" because I'm down for whatever.

18. Are you femme, butch, or neither? -- I swing wildly between wishing to present Extremely Butch in a lumberjack style, which is impractical in the Southwest, or wishing to present Extremely Femme but being unable to do so, and tying myself in knots over the inability. (I can't wear femmey shoes due to my stupid feet, I can't have pierced ears as they get infected and the one pair of nice lightweight handcrafted earrings I paid $50 for is gone with the rest of my shit, I'm too lorge to find any nice dresses or be able to like try on prom dresses and stuff, I have a tendency to break jewelry as I'm extremely rough on my possessions... etc.) In practice my gender presentation is Fat Slob. :P

19. Do you bind? -- Not technically, but I do wear cheap sports bras which tend to flatten rather than lift or shape.

20. Do you shave? -- Only by necessity. I shave my face when I remember, because my beard looks extremely douchey and rather like pubes. Occasionally I shave my cleavage if I'm trying to present femmey. I pretty much never shave anything else unless the hair is getting Smelly.

21. If you could date anyone you wanted, who would it be? -- Um. Good question. The thing is, I am fairly strongly romance-repulsed, but I do want and enjoy queerplatonic relationships, so I would draw a distinction here between "dating" someone and being "in a relationship" with them.

22. Are you in a relationship? -- Yes, in fact.

23. Describe your partner. -- @camshaft22 . Um. She's very much the Hobbie to my Wes. She's very snarky and dies a lot and I love her very much.

24. Have you ever dated anyone of the same gender? -- Given that we're both genderfluid, I would say I'm in a relationship with someone of the same gender, yes.

25. Dated anyone of another gender? -- I've never dated or been in a relationship with anyone else, so I guess the answer is no.

26. Tell me a random fact about yourself! -- I always use this one, but I once lived in four different states (mostly non-contiguous) within a calendar month.

27. Do you own any pride flags / merch? -- No. I used to have a whole-ass collection that I added to every Pride, and then I lost all my damn shit and haven't had the heart to start looking again. Well, I have a rainbow necklace Kat sent me which is pretty nice. Can't wear it till my damn sunburn heals, though. :P

28. Have you ever been to a pride parade? -- Yes, when I lived in Bisbee. They have quite an excellent Pride which draws people from as far off as Denver.

29. Any advice to someone who isn't out or is exploring themselves? -- Take your time. It's okay if things change. You don't have to solve yourself all at once. It's more important to find people who will accept whoever you turn out to be.

30. Pineapple on pizza? -- I've honestly never tried it. Part of me feels like I should, in order to develop an opinion, and part of me feels like I'm just as happy being outside of that particular debate.

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charredbrie · 4 years

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Kurobas Valentine’s Day Event 2020 Day 2: MuraMido

Yup, it’s painfully obvious who is my favorite character but then again, Murasakibara x Midorima is my precious second love OTP. The sexual tension is so painfully obvious and I just have to write something about them <3 Once again, thank you @vanilla-daydreams and @theuglycrybaby for this event.

Day 2 Prompt: Pillow/Are you wearing my shirt?

Title: Valentines’ Day Hitch (Established Relationship)

Summary: For Midorima’s lucky item on the 14th, only Murasakibara can help him.

Word count: 2, 712 words

Rating: T

Midorima Shintarou is, by all means, a normal type of person. He lives by the saying “Man proposes. God disposes.” He has a loving family, a team that he has come to trust and respect, and he has great (?) friends? That last statement doesn’t really sound right. He knows about his tsundere attitude so whenever Takao teases him about it, he just gets all defensive just because.

And lastly, he has been in a long time relationship with one moron that goes by the name of Murasakibara Atsushi from way back their middle school time. Why does he mention that giant now, must you ask? It is because today, Oha Asa has this horoscope special that from the 12th of February until the 14th. Instead of giving you the reading for a day, they have decided to give out your luck for three days straight in preparation for this unscrupulous day called Valentines’.

For Cancers like him, the first two days are a breeze. He’s in the third and first place respectively. The lucky item for today, as he ranks third is a scented candle and he has already obtained it. For tomorrow, his lucky item is an oversized shirt. He knows that he is already set for tomorrow because he has some of Murasakibara’s shirts, in fact.

But for the third day, that is when his demise will come. Out of all the things in the world, Oha Asa has to choose a life-sized mauibo pillow to be his lucky item for the 14th. And to put an icing to the cake, he has to rank dead last.

And he only knows one person who has it because he knows for a fact that it is a limited edition supply. After all, he is the one who gifted that to that candy-loving fool that he calls his boyfriend.

He groans painfully as he adjusts his glasses. His class is coming to an end and he has his basketball practice to focus on. He just makes his resolve that he will deal with his lucky item for the third day later. After all, he knows that Murasakibara is just one call away even if they are far away from each other.

Their club activity has come to an end and as usual, he is sitting peacefully on the rickshaw while carefully clutching his lucky item for the day on his left hand with Takao pulling it because it’s unbelievable how someone can be so dreadfully horrible at janken pon.

“Hah..h-how did you…hah..still beat me at..hah..janken pon..h-hah..when Scorpio ranked first today?!” He hears Takao complains. Sometimes, it gives him great joy when he sees Takao struggling with pulling the rickshaw. He can at least get back at him for all those times that the hawk-eyed boy mercilessly teases him for every little thing. In spite of everything though, he still holds Takao as one of his closest friends.

He pulls up his glasses with his free hand and mutters, “Yes, it is true that Scorpios rank first, in fact. However, you don’t have your lucky item which is honey.”

“Well…hah…whatever, Shin-chan….hah…and why are you not lighting your…hah…lucky item…it’s lavender-scented..right?..hah….I need to…calm..down..haaah..”

Shintarou clicks his tongue but lights the scented candle nonetheless. Instantly, he is embraced with the magnificent scent of the lavender, and it reminds him of his giant fool. He specifically chooses this scent when he goes lucky item hunting for the fact that it reminds him of Murasakibara, because believe it or not, the purple giant actually smells like lavender and candy all the time and it always calms him whenever he wants to seek some serenity when he badly needs it.

-x-

When Takao drops him home, they both say their goodbyes. As he entered his house, he says his greeting and goes up to his room. Breathlessly, he pulls out his phone from his pocket and presses the keyboard 1 for his speed dial. After seven rings, the other line is picked up. Suddenly, he breathes a sigh of relief when he hears the childish voice.

“‘Lo, Mido-chin~”, Atsushi greets.

“Murasakibara, how many times do I have to tell you to properly greet someone when answering your phone?!”

“Eh? It’s a pain and ‘sides, it’s just you.”

Shintarou feels a vein suddenly pops up and tries veeeery hard not to yell at Murasakibara. He counts until 10 to placate himself before speaking again.

“Do you...still have that..maiubo pillow that I gave...you?” He asks hesitantly.

He heard the purple head shuffles a little on the other line and says, “‘Course, Mido-chin. I have it with me here in Akita. Why?”

He blushes a bit and thank the heavens that he is alone in his room, “W-Would you mind if I borrow it? It’s my lucky item on the 14th, in fact.”

He hears Murasakibara chuckle on the other line much to his annoyance. “Don’t laugh, fool!”

“Ne, Mido-chin, I can totally imagine you carrying my life-sized pillow all day. “

“S-Shut up!”

“Okay, I’ll lend it to you but I have a condition.”

“Oh, Murasakibara, you’re playing a game with me. Fine then. What do you want?”

“Hm, you’ll know when you get it. Good night, Mido-chin~”

He can’t help but sigh in frustration but accepts his fate for being stuck with this moron. “Remind me again why I am still with you?”

“‘Cause your tsundere self loves me, Mido-chin~”

And that is the last straw, “Die, Murasakibara.”

He hangs up his phone and throws it on his bed. He sighs in frustration. Whatever Murasakibara is planning, Shintarou is sure as Oha Asa that he’ll be the receiving end of it.

-x-

February 14th comes and Shintarou is really afraid for his life. It’s not that he’s afraid of dying but it has been tried and tested that with terrible luck comes to a lot of misfortune for him. And he hasn’t heard anything from Murasakibara since yesterday. He’s a little bit, just really a little bit concerned that the boy has died. And thus, Shintarou tries his very best to be as cautious as possible for today. He even goes as far as carrying his two previous lucky items (scented candle and an oversized shirt) in his bag because he has a strong lingering feeling that those three days that Oha Asa has predicted might be somehow connected.

It is a blessing in disguised that Shutoku High has their school fair today and classes will end early. Also, as much as he hates to admit it, he is relatively glad that there is no basketball practice today because they are also using the gym for the fair. And so, once all the classes have ended, he tries to slip out of their classroom without Takao noticing him because knowing his friend, he will just drag him to go around the fair and honestly, he just wants to stay at home to avoid any unnecessary circumstance that may befall on him today.

But alas, Shintarou almost curses Takao’s hawkeye if not for it being so useful in a basketball game as he instantly corners him and drags him to go around with him. He grunts in a displeased manner but the imbecile just laughs at him. Knowing that he has no escape, he just goes with Takao since being the reliable friend that he is, he will surely enjoy it. As they are going around, a stall carrying different flavors of Nerunernerune catches his attention. He stops in front of it and looks over the booth. Takao looks at him then to the Nerunernerune then back at him again. Takao gives him a sly smile as he understands the situation and tells him, “Shin-chan, if you’re planning to buy some, staring at it with a killer intent isn’t gonna do anything.”

He blushes instantly as he fixes his glasses to act as a cover for his blushing face, “S-Shut up, Takao!”

“Are you gonna give it to Murasakibara? That’s so unsexy, Shin-chan. It’s Valentines’ today so you should give him chocolates.”

“And how in the world gives you an idea in your insufferable brain that I’m gonna give him chocolates today?”

Takao pouts as he rolls his eyes and says, “Duh, Valentines’. And you guys are together.”

“Tsk.”

Ignoring the man with a screw loose, he begrudgingly moves closer to the booth and takes two each of every flavor that they have. He knows that this is Murasakibara’s favorite candy and he has kept on complaining to him before that it’s been getting hard to get it since only a few shops will sell it. He smiles inwardly knowing that the purple head will be happy. Chocolates, be damned. Murasakibara only needs candies and snacks.

While he is paying, his phone vibrated in his pocket. He takes his change first the fishes out his phone, answering it without looking at who the caller is.

“Hello?”

“Mido-chin where are you? I’m here in front of your school. Come out right now, hurry. I’m hungry.”

Shintarou removes his phone from his ear and gapes at his phone while looking intently at the caller id. It is indeed Murasakibara.

“What are you doing here in Tokyo?! Don’t you have school?!”

“Eh, Mido-chin says he needs my pillow so I deliver it in person.”

“That’s an irresponsible excuse, Atsushi.” He hears Murasakibara gulps on the other line because he, calling the taller boy with his given name without stuttering means that he’s really pissed.

“Sorry, Mido-chin...”

“Are you by the entrance?”

“Yeah.”

“Don’t move there, I’m coming.”

After he hangs up, he looks at Takao and he nods in understanding. He says his farewell to him and heads straight to the gate. If not for his glasses, he won’t be able to see the tall figure that is passed their school walls as he is nearing the entrance. He taps his shoulder as he turns and a lazy smile creeps on his face. Shintarou can’t help but smile though, not because he’s happy to see the boy after 2 weeks (although it’s one of the reasons) but because he looks ridiculous while clutching the life-sized mauibo pillow on his right arm.

“Mido-chin!” Murasakibara runs closer to him as greets him. Shintarou really wants to hug him but he strains himself because of the fact that he’s still mad at the purple head for missing classes just so he can deliver his lucky item.

Instead, he folds his arms over his chest and looks sharply at him. “So? Why did you suddenly decide that delivering my lucky item is, in fact, more important than you attending your class?”

Murasakibara scratches his head, “Don’t worry, Mido-chin. It’s our foundation day today so we don’t have any classes.”

Shintarou looks at him intently to see if he’s lying. However, he sees no sign of lying and begrudgingly accepted his excuse. “Okay, you are forgiven..for now, in fact.”

“Yay~ here, Mido-chin.” He hands him the life-sized maiubo pillow and he finally let out a deep breath that he is holding since the clock has struck at 12 midnight earlier.

He can feel his blood suddenly pumps to his face as he takes Murasakibara’s arm to lead him to the nearest park, where no eyes are looking at them. When they arrive at the park, he hands him the plastic that he is carrying. The purple head just looks at it with curiousness as he signals him to take it. Finally, when he opens it, his purple irises shine with happiness as takes out one Nerunerunerune candy. “Mido-chin…these are for me? Your Valentines’ gift?”

He stutters as he becomes beet red, “F-Fool, i-it’s not because it’s Valentines’ day that I am giving you those…it’s not even chocolate, in fact.”

Murasakibara chuckles as he pats his head, “Fine, thank you, Mido-chin. So for my condition….”

Oh. Oh. I totally forgot about that. And there’s no way that he’s gonna admit that to his company. He shows his displeased face which Murasakibara just ignores. “For now, let’s go to my house, it’s near.”

-x-

When they reach the Murasakibara’s residence, both boys are greeted by Murasakibara’s mother who is currently fixing food on the table with two sets. Shintarou almost raises his eyebrows in question if not for Mama-chin coming close to greet them.

“Hi, Mama-chin.” Murasakibara greets and hugs his mother as Shintarou follows, “Hello, M-Mama-ch-chin.” Murasakibara actually forces him to call his mother, Mama-chin. At first, Shintarou is against the idea but when the said lady is the one who insists, who is he to defy the elder.

“Hey, boys. Atsu-chin, you’re right in time. I already set the table and the food for you and Shintarou-kun. You’re gonna stay here for tonight, right?”

Shintarou whips his head at Murasakibara in shock who just happily answers his mother excitedly a yes. He seriously wants to throw a pineapple at him right there and then.

“Alright. I’m going to tend to the garden. Enjoy your food boys.” They both say their thanks and as soon as Mama-chin is out of sight, he pulls Murasakibara’s ear and angrily asks him. “Murasakibara! What is the meaning of this?!” The taller boy jerks away from him as he nurses his reddening ear. “Eh, Mido-chin…this is the condition that I thought about.”

“What kind of condition is this?!”

“Course, you have to be my human pillow since you’re borrowing mine. I can’t even sleep without it.”

Shintarou feels his whole body goes rigid and his face too hot to even retort. When he doesn’t answer for a few seconds, Murasakibara speaks, “Mido-chin, are you thinking something perverted? You’re red all over.”

“S-shut up.”

“Hehe, don’t worry. I just miss Mido-chin. I just want to cuddle with you.” He finally looks up beneath his bangs to his boyfriend and sees the longing expression on his face. Sighing in resignation, he leans his shoulder to his boyfriend’s strong body and says, “Fine. You win, in fact. I’ll just call my parents so they know where I am.” He is then rewarded with a sparkling expression on his boyfriend’s face.

Omake

Atsushi is lounging on his bed while eating potato chips as he is waiting for Mido-chin to finish showering. He is really happy that Mido-chin actually agrees to stay over although he has to get Mama-chin’s help, he is actually happy that it works. To be honest. he has been planning on doing this, he just doesn’t find the time to do so. That’s why it is a good timing that his school’s foundation day is on the 14th. At least, he has a reason to ditch school without missing his classes because he knows that Mido-chin doesn’t like it when he does that. He looks up as he hears his door creaks open and he has actually loosened his grip on his potato chips as he sees the Midorima Shintarou wearing his bear shirt and it looks oversized on him even though he is wearing his training shorts and he can’t help but think that he looks so adorable. He looks like a ripened strawberry with his face so red and adds the fact that he has green hair. Mido-chin slowly moves towards his bed and sits on the farthest corner far from him, his eyes never leaving him. Is this what they call a boyfriend shirt?

“W-What are you s-staring at, you moron?”

“Are you wearing my shirt, Mido-chin?”

Once again, Mido-chin fixes his glasses again to hide his reddening face. He’s been doing that a lot since they have seen each other earlier. “Y-yes, this is the only shirt that I h-have on me. This was my lucky item from yesterday, in fact..and it’s actually your fault for not telling me so I could come prepared.” He just smiles happily, thinking all the while that Mido-chin is such a tsundere. But whatever, that tsundere attitude is what makes him unique.

“Hmm, well then, come here, Shintarou-chin, I need my human pillow now. I’m tired and I want to sleep.” He pats the empty space on his bed to signal him to come closer to him. But instead of Mido-chin’s warm body, his face is suddenly smacked with his life-sized maiubo pillow with Mido-chin saying,

“DIE, MURASAKIBARA.”

NOTES: This is actually the first time I write Midorima and I have tried my best to make him in character as much as possible. Honestly, he is kinda hard to write but I’ve had my fun on this prompt. Hope you guys like it. I really just wanna spread more MuraMido just because they’re so underrated as a pair.

Thank you for reading <3

Also, now in Ao3

#knbvdaychallenge2020 #muramido #murasakibara x midorima #Murasakibara Atsushi #Midorima Shintarou #Takao Kazunari #takao is midorin's bff #long distance relationship #established relationship #tsun tsun midorin #knb fanfic #headcanon #prompt #fanfic

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