#but if he really is going to stick to these concepts then i'm fully supportive
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Ok ok ok I'm very new to the human kink thing but I'm wondering if there's some kind of planar effect associated with it??? Like I can just imagine the idea of star elves and other eldarin who come from the feywild and spent their whole lives being so immersed in magic that if they ever encounter a non-spellcaster human for the first time it's just like wow. this mf has zero magic about them. I wonder if it's a strange sensation, like noise cancelling headphones, and that lack of magical energy might feel relieving or sexual for them. Idk if it's exactly dnd canon but I've always imagined magic aligned entities to be able to sense magic like a buzzing in the air, so a lack of that buzzing would be entirely wild for them. Either way, magical radio silence = sexual exploration for eldarin and I fully support it
(also I love love loveeeee your work and your dnd theories and fun inquiries have led me to learn so much more cool lore and it's shaped some of my interspecies interactions in-game as a DM so tysm for everything you do 💜💜)
Wait really? I inspired some of your moments as a dm? Omfg please tell me I'd love to listen if you're willing to share <33. Thank you so much for the praise!
Also I love your theory! I hold similar ideas, that concept is too cool to pass on.
I've seen one similar to its concept in a game called "Echos of the Fey"
So elves in this game, average elves not just eladrin, are all born with magic. Because all magic comes from the fey and all elves share a connection to it.
Humans can learn magic too by using the hammer method and seeing what sticks on the wall, but they can never connect to the fey.
And the fey is exactly like you described. It allows to elves to effortlessly connect to each other, feel and sense each other's presence before seeing each other. It allows parents to feel when their children die and allows lovers to sense when their elf partner is in danger.
Elves can share their emotions through the fey too, they don't need to use words or explain things. They can let the other person feel exactly what they're feeling.
It was described as a constant song, a different melody from each elf in the sanctuary they all lived in. Going on at all times. And sure one elf can supress their own song but they can't stop hearing others'.
You can also speak words into the other person's mind using the fey. If they give you permission to dive deeper into their soul, you can even tell if they're lying about something or being honest.
But again, all of this only applies if the two people are elves. Even sorcerer humans wouldn't be able to feel it or connect to the fey.
It's also why elves seem cold or detached to humans, they are so used to the fey and the immediate connection and trust it gives them in other elves, that they don't bother to learn how to properly express their emotions with words or facial expressions. As a society, their inner personal relationships are always reliant on the fey.
In that game, one elf does move to a human settlement and he describes it as radio silence. That sometimes when he's around so many elves, he wonders if his ideas are truly his own or simply from other elves through the fey.
That being near humans gives him more individuality, forces him to work hard to establish trust with someone rather then immediately earn it. To learn to express his emotions rather than assume the other person can feel them.
It is radio silence. There is no music except for the ones humans deliberately play with their instruments. Even then, anyone can misinterpret its meaning with no definitive answer.
In that game, there are no other races besides humans and elves. And no sub-races for elves, they're all high elves.
But that theory still holds up if we integrate it to dnd! With some adjustments. It explains why elves are so reclusive, why they prefer the company of other elves over other races, and why two elf strangers seem to almost click immediately.
The fey is a constant overstimulatation, like getting constant ads in a video. Some elves learn to tone it out while others are so fed up with it that they'd rather lose their own magic than stay connected to it.
Which is why those ones would move to human cities, would prefer the company of humans and find joy at how expressive they are, at the long trials each friendship has in order to earn their trust.
For once their mind is clear, no meddling fey making them feel other's emotions or hear their thoughts. Only their own thoughts in their brain, everything they feel is truly their own.
Except when another elf is nearby.
But again, each elf can choose to suppress their own presence in they fey, just not others'. So, I like to think that elves in human cities came to a collective agreement to supress their own presence in the fey to not bother each other, also to not make the humans feel left out.
Anyway, exposition over, time to talk about the actual kink.
So remember that dog drawing contest meme? This one?
Where, yes, the second drawing was so beautiful and amazing, but the first place one held an undeniable charm to it.
I think that's how eladrins and star elves view humans.
Ofwjofwjofjwks now hear me out!
They're so used to everyone around them brimming with magic, for other fey creatures' appearance to change drastically through the season, wearing the ocean waves aa a dress or growing a cherry blossom tree as hair.
Imagine a human in comparison, how simple and plain we would be, how utterly new and adorable in their views.
Simplicity has its merits, if done right then it can be as beautiful as complexity if not more.
A human, devoid of any magic and only wearing their own body and clothes as decoration, would be beyond this world for elves and eladrins, literally.
There is another game i played that had human wizards talking about the fey world and the dangers of it, i don't remember its name.
But the main reason why humans were told to avoid the fey world and never go there, is because their souls shine bright like a beacon amidst it.
Every person and creature in the fey world knows magic beyond our comprehension, and all of them know how to hide their souls and lock it. Like installing anitmalware and a firewall on a computer with proxy to prevent tracking.
Humans are the boomers who uninstall system 32.
Our souls are just up for grabs, literally on a silver plate for any fey who comes waltzing in and tricks us into some verbal contract. We have no magic to detect them or to prevent them.
Humans don't last in the fey realm, everyone wants them. Even the most talented wizards who live there, never stay for long or always take a break every now and then.
You are literally the lighthouse, siren and mist amidst the fey sea.
To an elf who is tried of the magical noise, you're like a comfort blanket. Warm and makes them ignore the world outside.
They're beyond infatuated with how much you steal all of their brain's attention, focus all of their scattered thoughts on you or the simplest of things.
How you express your joy with laughter, how you spent time cooking a meal, how tears collect down your face when you cry, how you tap your feet or click your tongue.
Primal life in its purest forms, the most bare form a soul could ever take.
You're the most simple shape, and for that, you are loved, adored for how much you hold. How easily you adapt, a white light containing a rainbow inside.
Humans fit anywhere and everywhere, even in places they're not supposed to. They still tried and will keep trying forever, that's why they keep stepping to the fey realm and keep attempting on befriending the elves or building houses there.
It's hard not to be blinded by their light, let it outshine everything else around them.
In a sexual context, I think elves and eladrins would be so used to magical sex or soul connections that with a human they get to experience having their soul grounded into earth.
The simplest touch of fingertips trailing up their skin, the silence except for the occasional gasps and groans of the human. For the first time their own moans are so clear to their pointy ears, they're forced to drown into their own emotions and melt into the bed.
And the humans seduction and pleasure somehow clicks with every single race, somehow surpasses so many cultural barriers. Experiencing pure pleasure with all the small awkwardness and discomforts, being acutely aware of the pillow under their head or the drumming of their heartbeat.
It's how humans don't need magic to thrive, have fun or give pleasure. How these things are second nature to them, you could strip them of all of their fancy science and magic and even then they'll still find a new way to climb up.
That's the human condition That's the human spirit, to care in the face of uncaring world. To love despite your own limitations, to be kind to something you can never understand.
Every wizard who has ever lived in the fey realm speaks of it fondly, like an old friend. Despite the countless attempts on their life, despite the times they almost lost their mind. Humans see beauty in everything, dangerous or soft.
And they infect others with their softness, make the elves and eladrins addicted to their comfortable silence. So much that they wonder how did they ever live before in the constant noise and buzzing.
Humans are like a vacation you go to when the polluted cities start to drain your soul, they're the fresh water running rivers through the dandelions filled fields.
And so many long to live there, to abandon their apartments and start over there. But they're afraid to steal the humans' light from them, to infect them with their magic and poison the waters.
So only a few go down there at a time, for a vacation length to an eladrin is akin to a lifetime to a human.
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Tagged in a writers ask game by the lovely @justanothervariant!! Ty bestie, i love talking abt my fics 😅💕
Rules: Go to your published works on AO3 and list the first and last fics you published there, a fic for a fandom/ship you've only written for once, your favourite fic in the fandom/ship with the most works, the fic you wish more people read, the fic you agonised over the most, the fic that sprang fully-formed from your mind with minimal effort, and a work you are proud of—for whatever reason. <3
First Fic Published: Future, Present, Past, a post-canon canon- divergence (say that 10x fast) VegasPete fic where they've been raising Venice with no knowledge of his family's past. This fic is my baby, and even though there's things I look back on that I'd change (not nearly enough Pete POV!) anyone who's read or commented on it is truly so dear to me. Venice is something that can be so personal 😌
Last Fic Published: Wedding Night 😳 listennnn I've been in my breeding era and it's not changing anytime soon. Summer break = late night horny writing hours, I don't make the rules.
One-Time Only: High and Low is my one and only BigKinn fic and it'll probably stay that way 😅 I love the angst potential, but writing the smut was such a challenge. The whole time, I was like "is this any good??" Luckily it got a lot of wonderful feedback that I'm so grateful for and I really enjoyed writing from Big's perspective!
Favorite VegasPete Fic: Oh my god, this is really hard to choose!! Especially when most of my writing is for them 😅 BUT 3 a.m. is one of my favorite fics that I've written overall, and especially for VegasPete. Writing the nightmare of Vegas dreaming that he kills Pete in the safehouse was so fun and I feel like this fic really solidified my love for angst. Vegas' panic attack and his conversation with Macau are also near and dear to my heart. This is one of the fics that I reread regularly.
Fic I Wish More People Read: Haunted by the Thought of You is a fic that I loved writing and really enjoy, but for whatever reason it just didn't get a lot of traction! I love ghosts and all things spooky, and the concept of Vegas being haunted by Tawan was just so delicious, especially when I dug into Buddhism and ghosts. If you're interested, I highly recommend checking it out 💕
Fic I Agonized Over: Pete Pray Love is my post-canon long fic and I've been struggling to get it finished. I've written, and re-written, and cut chapters, and contemplated giving up; it's been a whole process. I'm determined to stick with it (and am actually working on the final chapter right now) but I'm so grateful to the people who have supported it from the beginning and continue to engage with it!!!
Fully-Formed Fic: The first chapter of Great Expectations came to me in a horny vision; I had no idea it would spawn into a 30k longfic that's changed directions at least twice. Looking back, it could have used a bit of polish (and perhaps some lube), but ultimately it's a horny, angsty good time and I wouldn't have it any other way 😆
Fic I'm Proud Of: Playing for Keeps is so, so dear to me; I was absolutely overwhelmed by the feedback and it reinforced the feeling I had that I'd touched on something really special about love and family while writing it. This fic completely took hold of me - I wrote 10k over the course of 9 days and it occupied all my waking thoughts. The intimacy between Vegas and Pete felt really special; it's some of my favorite smut I've written purely because of how tender it is. There's something about letting someone into your life after years of closing yourself off... *cries* I could literally talk about this fic forever, it's a problem, and this is why it's getting it's own little universe bc their story is demanding to be told!!!
Ty again to Variant for the tag 💖 I'm tagging @saturnskyline, @wisteria-daydreamer, @transwegath, @xhangkyuns and ofc anyone else who wants to participate ✨✨
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Hello! Just popping in about that Mikoto fic 👀
It was all really cool, I loved the emotional punch that it packed. I was crying over Bokukoto trying to work through so much new information, trying to find comfort in the idea of Orekoto, calling out to him -- only to reject the thought just as quickly... And given everything we see in Double now, it’s extra fitting that he’s shown wearing himself out and not really using any healthy methods of relaxing rip
I loved the mirror as their contact point!! Both as a callback to the mv visuals, but just a really cool idea in general! Like, obviously they’d only see “themselves” when looking in a mirror, so it’s awesome to see the concept executed so literally >:0
OUGH Orekoto’s view of the world is so painful, but given his origins it makes so much sense. I feel like it’s common to see interpretations of him where he’s full of drive and aggression and motivation to fight back against the world (that’s how I took him until reading this lol), so I really enjoyed the more realistic perspective that he’s just fed up with everything. He’s not fighting because he wants to stick it to ‘em, he’s just fighting to hang on and make it through each day in a world that’s beating him down ;---;
There’s such a painful, ironic loneliness. Both feel so isolated despite having someone else so close. Bokukoto is afraid of the others staying away from him, and Orekoto is afraid of Bokukoto leaving him. Bokukoto wants someone to rely on, Orekoto wants someone to rely on him, but neither one is making it easy for the other!! >:'( I thought you did such a cool job of driving home that feeling of deep loneliness while simultaneously keeping up the tone that there was someone else nearby, connected.
I was curious, did Mikoto get to see MeMe? Or was he hearing the “other voice” in general?
Ah sorry this got a bit long but I thought the fic was really nice!!
I did have a lot of fun writing the Mikoto fic and playing with the broader interpretations of Mikoto's character.
There are little nods to my own interpretation of his character here and there. That comes about in the subtle tiredness and disdain towards the way the world is in the second part. Along with the begrudging acceptance that it may always be that way regardless of what an individual does.
personally I've always considered the space in MeMe to be Mikoto's mental space. A representation of his own mentality and way of handling things. Hence why it's so destroyed but serene in a way. Far less frantic than what we see displayed in Double. I think there are a few things in Double that support the idea that in MeMe we're seeing Mikoto's space while in Double we see John's.
Not even taking into consideration Deco's statement after the videos release. So, I worked with that sort of impression in mind. To give this idea of Ore (John) trying to meet Mikoto where he was at in a way. Yet, still not really being capable of fully understanding. I wanted it to give off this feeling of I'm here to support you even if your actions don't make sense to me and mine may not make sense to you.
A theme that's incredibly difficult to convey. It did become easier to convey when considering that regardless of who did what they both held the same understanding that things couldn't have continued the way they were going for one reason or another.
Since I did write this fic before Double released I'm glad to see it aligned with some of the things presented. Though there are certain lines that give a clearer impression of the events that if I had them then probably wouldn't have changed much but certainly would have been helpful.
Such as,
" “He’s a liar”, you said, and made me out to be a scoundrel, why?"
Since, if Double is from John's perspective which it seems to be for the most part with Mikoto coming in at certain parts. Similar to how MeMe seems to have been from Mikoto's perspective with John coming in for other parts. This line is more than likely referring back to Mikoto's line within MeMe of,
"All those ridiculous accusations."
As "He's a liar" is put in quotation marks and most of the lyrics put into quotation marks within the prisoners songs seem to be something that prisoner have said in regards to the situation that put them here.
All of Mikoto's quoted lyrics would be
MeMe
"I"
"Me"
"Goodnight"
Double
“No, I need to do more…”
"Savior"
and
"He's a liar"
Goodnight and Goodmorning is used prominently throughout Double to transition between perspectives. Which have been neatly broken into a daytime part and a nightime one.
Something that becomes more interesting when one considers Mikoto's previous statements and the fact that MeMe the song that Mikoto is given onus of in Double-
As John takes onus of double singing,
"I don’t remember a thing, it couldn’t be helped, I’m DOUBLE (MeMe)."
MeMe is put in parerntheses not only highlightinhg yhe differences in songs but the fact that they are still one and the same to an extent. The tone of Double is also lighter than the previous one where Mikoto proper is shown to use more growling and screams.
Even shown to pant and hyperventalate at points similarly to how he does in the first voice drama. These sort of noises do break into Double at very interesting and indicative parts in my opinion. However, they're far from the main focus now.
Couple that with the fact that MeMe takes place at night with no daytime parts at all along with this answer Mikoto gave trial one,
Q.20 Are you more of a morning person or a night person?
Mikoto: I used to be basically nocturnal. Recently though I’ve been falling asleep pretty early.
Everything that occurred prior really lent itself well for Double to use lighting to play around with the concept of time and subtly transition from between one point to another.
As though showing the front and the back of the situation all at once.
Yet, it really made it difficult to not have that when writing a fic for Mikoto.
So, while writing those my main concern was not falling too into what I believed people wanted to see based on wider fandom interpretations of his character and instead subtlely highlight the intricacies that made me like Mikoto as a character.
A lot of which on Mikoto's end was that feeling of loneliness, fear of being stuck with oneself, and the fear being of being wrong in someway or viewed as wrong that MeMe gave off. Something I feel was properly expanded on through Double.
This is also why most of the songs I chose to listen to while writing them were heavily centered around loneliness, longing and to an extent the creation that can only be found from destroying ones present reality.
Something that is displayed in a more aggressive way in MeMe and Mikoto's first cover being Monopoisoner. I feel it's also visualized well through the state of Mikoto's inner world in MeMe. Because even though it looks in disrepair there's a peace and orde to it. That really embodies the concept of demolishing a wall to see the sky.
Throughout Double there are signs of Mikoto everywhere but in MeMe there aren't really many signs of John. Even when facing himself in the mirror. Something that was taking as though it could it was the other through yet through new information comes off as Mikoto being fearful of facing himself and his own actions.
So, I really had a difficult time interpretting the other as angry or agressive and leant more into tired and fed up as a result. Admittedly he can be angry and aggressive like anyone can but I wanted to explore where that anger and defensiveness would come from.
I also used the mirror as a contact point for this reason as well. I thought it was a subtle way to highlight that through not fully reflecting on himself Mikoto can't recognize the other as well. It also was a good way of playing on the idea of them seeing eye to eye being as simple as looking into the mirror.
Since again even if they aren't in full agreement they both seem to want Mikoto to be told he was right for what he did and be forgiven. For the audience to admit that they made a mistake and neither of them are the sort of person others have claimed they are. Something that has remained consistent through trials.
I'm really glad the characterizations can still sort of hold up even after Double's release though I personally see some areas where I could have done better.
Especially since the staff does such a great job of differentiating between the two of them visually in Double.
Even though I rushed writing it I was very conscious about introducing a reason behind their behavior instead of vilifying one more than the other. YetI still wanted to display Mikoto's distrust and upset at this turn of events as a valid response. So, I wonder if I made him come off more sympathetic in comparison to the other.
On Mikoto's side I really wanted to highlight and extrapolate on these lines in particular,
"Why, hey why, I’m nowhere to be found."
"I’m probably not to blame."
"It’s probably nothing."
Really home in on that feeling of being so close to knowing something but being so afraid of the truth one pulls away from it out of self preservation.
Yet, with the other I really wanted to focus more on the external pressures and since of wrongness in regards to the situation they were in. Along with the disdain one would rightfully feel for being blamed for everything that was going wrong. Double really did give me a lot more nuance to chew on when it came to them.
There's so much to analyze when it comes to it still but I am very happy you liked the fic and the feelings were properly conveyed.
In terms to this question. I may not have fully understood it so please forgive me,
I was curious, did Mikoto get to see MeMe? Or was he hearing the “other voice” in general?
I said earlier I think the space from MeMe is Mikoto's one and having John there was in a way me implying they were meeting Mikoto where he was at.
My perception was,
The space in MeMe = Mikoto's Space
The space in Double = John's space
So, I believe Mikoto would be able to see it himself but be incapable of finding John in it. That's just my angsty interpretation of the,
"Why, hey why, I’m nowhere to be found."
Line. Since after a while I grew quite fond of the interpretation MeMe kind of being Mikoto looking for the other and having this discussion with the other. As Milgram is full of double meanings. I'd just interpretted for example this line,
"Please tell me it’s a mistake, that’s it’s a lie. That I’m right, I’ll forgive you If you tell me now."
As not only being directed at the audience but the other (John) as well.
Though that's just how i enjoy looking at it. Ah, this response is probably longer than you were expecting. But yeah that's mostly all of the thoughts that went into writing it and how I feel about it after Double's release.
So, in regards to your question in Mikoto's part where he was hearing the voices and the other speaks for a bit it was more so as though he spaced out for a moment. He didn't really see the space himself. While at the beginning of the others they were just hanging out there to feel closer to Mikoto in a way. Hope that makes sense.
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Hello! Im so sorry to bother but i just got back into Lost again and charlie has given me brainrot especially Trans Charlie and i was wondering if you had any specific hc or things like that? I really love Hurleys and Charlies friendship and i always feel when he finds out he's not only super supportive but also super chill
oh gosh! you're not a bother at all!
i do have specific trans charlie HCs and i never get to talk about this so thank you!
tw: references to trans/homo/biphobia both external and internal. and trans subject matters like transition, dysphoria, surgeries etc
there are many many words under here. so many :)
charlie realised he's trans when he was 5, that is to say, he realised he's a boy pretty much as soon as the concept of Boy could take root in his mind. picture 5 year old charlie walking into the kitchen and loudly announcing "i'm NOT a girl, i'm a BOY" to his parents and liam
the reaction is mostly amusement. liam laughs because he's 7. but yeah i do think his family assumed this was like, a tomboy phase that charlie would grow out of with time. but were still very cool with it. simon notes "i have two boys now ^_^", and megan offers to cut charlie's hair, which he happily accepts, he hated looking like a girl
over time it's clearly not a phase but the notion of charlie = boy, son, brother becomes second nature to the pace family. liam gets in the habit of calling charlie "baby brother" so he doesn't accidently call him his sister and that nickname sticks forever
so basically charlie's family is not transphobic. like i imagine the worse you'd get from these three is ignorant/well meaning comments. (and yes, simon was more bothered by charlie being a musician than him being trans. bless your strange heart, papa pace)
any bigotry charlie suffered in life, both from being trans and bi, was mainly from school and people he met outside of home (like, nasty groupies for example). i imagine he received slurs that typically apply to sapphic people. because his schoolmates assumed he was a butch lesbian. i can see charlie wishing they'd call him the right nasty words
charlie has a vicious combination of confidence and insecurity so theres bursts of "yeah i'm a bloke, i'm bi, what of it" and other times deep internal shame. and he's catholic too so that adds to the uh oh soup. i mention him being bi because i feel that adds to his guilt, like this notion of "even if i'd stayed a girl, i'd still be doing something wrong. i'd still be wrong"
and i think this shame and insecurity ties into his promiscuity, because he has this desperate need to be desired and validated. people wanting him, taking pleasure from him, gives charlie a sense of self worth. same with his need to be useful and have attention, etc, basically all that fucked up charlie jazz (...or punk rock, as it were)
ahem, heh, didn't mean to go down that road but writing meta about charlie is such an easy well for me to fall into. it's a rich tapestry
in regards to hurley. 2004 was a different time (gosh that feels weird to say) but i don't think its out of character to imagine hurley is cool with it. he doesn't fully, like, get it but he's like "that's great, dude" and that reaction is always a relief to get. hurley is the cis straight friend we all deserve. i think there are lost characters who would be weirded out by this or needed it explained to them but hurley is [thumbs up]
okay now an assortment of trans charlie headcanons/notes
teenaged charlie had the whole slouching in baggy shirts thing going on (making him look rather grunge). as soon as it was legal for him to get top surgery, he had it, he hated those things. so he had it done at 18, so by the time of LOST, twas 10 years ago and thus i imagine his scars are almost totally faded. you'd have to get real close and if you did you'd notice they're a tad janky because like, charlie was a poor street busker from manchester, he had to go for a really cheap option but hey it got the job done
he did try wearing a binder (i say binder, it was bandages) but he stopped because it was fucking up his ability to sing. it suits charlie that he'd put his musical ability over his physical well being. so most of the time that he had tits he made do with sports bras
side note: age 12 to 16 charlie was in The Worst Mood Ever. teen charlie makes adult charlie seem composed and rational. just a hormonal mess of anger, rebellion, poor posture, dysphoria, sexual discovery, messy greasy red streaked hair, FUCK THE SYSTEM THE WORLD ISN'T FAIR I HATE EVERYONE. with periods as a cherry on top. i just wanted to put the image of teen charlie in your head. i'm just being condescending for funsies, cuz pouty grumpy charlie is cute, but he really did have a lot to be upset about. teen years were rough for charlie, is what i'm saying, his main sources of joy being music, [redacted] and the few friends he had (liam and the other two members of driveshaft). oh and sweet food
but i digress
he has not had bottom surgery. if you asked him why he'd joke "what and give up multiple orgasms?" but the real reason is that charlie has very powerful drive to become a father one day and part of that desire includes with his own. body. so he's kept all the parts needed for that Just In Case. and yes, doing that would majorly trigger his dysphoria but people aren't always rational, charlie least of all. he's a barrel of conflicting emotions. he has good days and bad days in regards to his lower anatomy
charlie takes T patches. i chose these for practical reasons because he's on an island for 3 months. he wears them under his arm and claire assumes they're nicotine patches until she knows charlie is trans. he's wearing each patch for 3 days or more days instead of 1 day like he's supposed to, in order to make 'em last. charlie is clearly an already moody person, but man the concept that charlie is having hormonal issues too really adds to it
and thats something that i really love about my trans charlie headcanon is that i can think of so many canon things that make it make sense. like, the baby brother thing but also
physically: charlie is short, looks rather different to his brother (rounder face) and is hippier than the average cis man. and also charlie has a tendency to puff out his chest (going the opposite of his terrible slouch days cuz now he's titless babey). these are just aspects of dom that happen to work out well for this
story wise: in the show we only see charlie as a child and a grown adult, as such making it easy to fill in first puberty pre transition teenaged charlie off screen. he's possibly 18 in that desmond flashback so cutting it a tad close but i imagine he's had hormonal arrangements for himself since he was 16. and hormones really are fucking magic. also artistic licence, because at the end of the day i am still talking about somebody played a (presumably) cis guy actor
personality: well, besides the aforementioned hormonal mood swings. okay, the stuff i'm gonna say about charlie is not how i see all trans men. i just think being trans ties into certain aspects of charlie's manner. i mentioned before his desperate need for validation, to be useful, to be loved. charlie is really overcompensate-y, he's trying too hard All The Time, one could see that as him like overperforming masculinity. look, charlie has issues, and its clear as day he really really wants to slot himself into the role of husband, father, provider, protector. not inherently a bad thing and certainly not inherently a trans man thing buuut i think it fits. ties into the idea that most of his life charlie has felt the need to constantly prove himself, and that includes things like: a good musician, a good catholic, somebody who can take care of people he loves, being even worthy of love and. being a Real Man. all wrapped up in one confusing mess of a psyche
nah, i got more, still going. furthermore, i don't think charlie being trans is the only reason he's insecure (a rich tapestry) but what if one of many reasons charlie has his nasty jealousy issues with claire is that he thinks so little of himself that he's deeply afraid claire will leave him for a "Real Man". toxic masculinity hurts us all bro. and its not even like charlie is some kind of hypermasculine dudebro or anything like that (he wears nail polish and eyeliner for one thing. he's punk rock) but some odd harmful attitudes come out in subtler ways
to be clear i don't think charlie doubts he is a man but the human mind can be a total fucktruck and i'll say it again: charlie is insecure
anyways. charlie doesn't have a deadname, he was born charlie and he will die charlie. and another neat thing is that theres nothing in the show to suggest that charlie is a variation on charles. he is simply charlie. his middle name "hieronymus" was added by him though, obviously
he had a dildo/strap on packed with him but it was lost to sea during the crash. rip charlie's cock [plays off key flute version of my heart will go on]
he's not out to the wider public. basically in my version of ~canon~ the only people who know are his family, claire and uhh, well, the dozens upon dozens of people he's slept with (charlie's desire to keep this secret vs charlie's rampant desperate lust: the latter always wins). you would think rumours would spread and you're right! but charlie also spreads rumours, sneaky boy. yeah, i heard that the bass player of driveshaft has a big thick cock. a friend of a friend told me, trust me
basically trashy cringe inducing english tabloids have had some things to say about our dear charlie. which only serves to make the concept seem more unbelievable and silly to people. which, as backhanded as that sounds, works for charlie!
i realised i hadn't mentioned this yet: claire is very cool with this. charlie had never been so nervous to come out to somebody in all his life, because he loves claire so much, but once she understood what charlie was telling her (different time, claire didn't know that trans men existed), she rolled with situation. claire's a sweet girl, she's grown up uninformed about queer stuff (and she's bi but thought she was straight until kate) so i imagine her saying some not quite right things but she doesn't have a bigoted bone in her tiny body
and claire never betrays charlie's trust and keeps his secret forever (yeah at least 50 groupies know charlie's trans but thats not the point. it's the principle of the thing)
so yeah. there's defo more, if i like got into more specific scenarios, but thats the gist of what comes to mind and it was still quite a lot, so! thank you for your time
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BK swap AU- the Event Notes
Omori spoilers ahead! (Why are you looking for AUs before knowing the original? /nm)
I assume most people looking for AUs already know what the base story is, right? (Exception of my friend, but I'm trying to steer them away from the bigger spoiler-y ones, heh") Because I'm thinking about the recital, and I really don't think Kel would do what Basil did, y'know?
So, I'm a little Stumped- Just venting/posting ideas, I guess.
Kel wouldn't hide the body. No hesitation. He might support Sunny or not, but he wouldn't jump straight to Forge a Suicide.
(Babil-Plush's idea of Kel just grabbing Sunny and running is appealing, tbh, but 1) I don't wanna steal, 2) A huge point of my interpretation of this AU concept is Kel actually sticking with Sunny, and 3) I kinda wanna have Kel freak out. Will explain more in later point)
Honestly, I kind of want to make it so Kel doesn't actually know the full truth.
Like, he'd sneak off to record Sunny and Mari's practice- "You always record the pregame!" or something- and catches the tail end of the argument and Mari falling. But he doesn't catch the actual argument on camera. The audio is saved, but not any visuals.
So the truth segment would be Kel and Sunny working together through their own memories to fully recall What Happened. Like the original has Sunny figuring it out. (A bit more obviously supernatural, with dream sharing: IDK if that would go down well tho...)
(Re:Kel Freak Out) If Kel doesn't see the fight, then I think he'd get freaked and accidentally freak Sunny out more. Like, Kel runs in, sees Mari on the ground bleeding, Sunny trying to wake her up, and starts panicking. (I.E: "Sunny, what happened?! Why is Mari- What- Oh god, what happened? Is she okay? Sunny?!") Even if the questions are fair/normal, I could see Sunny hearing this as something like "What did you do?!" and hearing Kel as angry.
From there, its all a blur- Someone calls an ambulance, and Mari is confirmed Dead (At least for now. Maybe it could be comatose or severely impaired, or any other of the 'Mari Lives But Still Suffers' AUs, but idk if Sunny would repress as hard if she survived.)
I have more thoughts about RW events, but I gotta go- So I'll try to mention them later. Please feel free to give me ideas or critique the ones I have! Dankeschön!
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Okay so you said you needed more Neil hcs so I've volunteered as tribute to info dump on you if that's cool? *Disclaimer some of these hcs have been adopted from other tumblrinos who also fixate on the effective chaos that is Briggs*
1) SOMEHOW Neil always loses his shirts in the laundry. They always end up in someone else's drawers despite the fact that his taste in fashion is atrocious *ahem* unique and eclectic (and frankly I love him for it) - side note, I wish they were included in the anime but as an animation student I 100% understand why they didn't and I'm obligated to support the animators' rights to not want to blind themselves (sorry Neil but your manga shirts would be the bane of an animator's existence)
2) A flavour of ADHD. I feel like he hyperfixates on automail and that's why he's so darn good at it. Might also explain why he ended up at Briggs, Amestris' punishment post, as I doubt other commanders have much patience
3) Tagging on from number 2, he can probably make automail out of anything. Want a blender attachment? Give him 3 days, he'll get one working. Will it be effective against Drachman soldiers? Probably not? Will every engineer at the fort marvel at the fact that it works? Probably. Would it be the embodiment of complete and utter chaos, and therefore drive Val mad? Absolutely.
4) Very much follow your vibes about him being the talkiest/generally happy of the doctors there - he just has a very chill, happy-go-lucky vibe. I mean the amount of times I've replayed him leaving the Elric's in the prison cell like "take it up with the General", the absolute swagger this man has
5) Very much agree that he's an automail mechanic but medical adjacent. If Winry and Pinako can do automail surgery you bet your buck so can he. Side note, I didn't fully realise until recently that he's probably gone through the same basic training as all the other soldiers, I always figured that the doctors at Briggs worked for the military but weren't necessarily in it because of their lack of uniform. But then when Ed asked to be let out, he straightens up to attention with the rest and is just like "Not allowed to do that, sorry". This realisation got me into the thought of wtf would he look like in uniform but that's a topic for another day.
6) Pretty sure he's a smoker. But when he's inside (especially when on duty) I guess he uses a toothpick/stick as a texture thing?
7) Not necessarily a headcanon, but his surname is FLINT. He's got red hair and his surname is FLINT. The anime also doesn't do his hair colour justice - in the few first pages that get coloured, his hair is much brighter
Also I feel the need to show you my favourite manga panel of him which I've title "naptime" for the lolz - but seriously, of all the people to be shown collapsed during the promised day? I love that it's them with their overpriced coffee
YES *PLEASE* info dump on me, I love these HCs!!
1) I've read the manga but I never noticed his shirts omg 😭 Neil is an absolute mess. Now I have the picture of Val finding Neil's shirts in his closet and absolutely losing his mind (I mean Neil would eventually run out of shirts. Does he then get someone else's stuff??)
2) I love this. Briggs taking anyone who isn't welcomed at other command centers is my fav concept about them. He must've lost his mind when he first came there and was ALLOWED to go wild and fixate on his automails.
3) PLEASE THIS IS SO ACCURATE Val would hate it, even more when the most craziest automails always work in the end. Val and Patricia coming into the meds room in the morning to find Neil making an all nighter bc he wanted a back massage automail 😭
4) He really is the absolute swagger. He's the coolest and most chill person at Briggs and everyone knows it.
5) I thought about this too!!! I think it would be important for Olivier that they went through the most basic military training so they would be able to protect themselves? Briggs is a dangerous place and they can't always place a soldier near them in case something happens.
6) Oh yes that makes sense!
7) Thanks for the tip, I'll look into it! Yes he looks only vaguely ginger in the anime.
Tbh I that panel fits to them out of context like this, I feel like these two can be quite dramatic (or they like acting like it). AND THE OVERPRICED COFFEE AGDSKSHA I wonder if it is a normal concept there or of they just started it to mess with Ed (and to get his precious state alchemist wage)
These were really interesting and helpful, thanks a lot 🙏
#these validated some thoughts I had about interactions between the doctor trio#Neil and Casther would be so chaotic together#neil flint#always feel free to info fump on me i love reading other ppls specific Briggs thoughts
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Ready or Not by Cara Bastone
"A surprise pregnancy leads to even more life-changing revelations in this heartfelt, slow-burn, friends-to-lovers romance of found family and unexpected love."
Eve Hatch is surprised when a one night stand with a stranger leads to an unexpected pregnancy. She had previously been fairly neutral about having kids and certainly wasn't ready for one at the moment while working an ok but not great job at her dream company. Someone who very much wants kids is her married best friend Willa, who has been trying to get pregnant for a long time. Eve surprises everyone (Willa, Willa's human equivalent of a golden retriever brother Shep, and baby daddy Ethan) by deciding to "keep being pregnant." The story follows Eve's pregnancy as her relationships with Willa and Shep change. Willa struggles with the idea that her ambivalent friend is pregnant before her, while Shep majorly steps up to support Eve. Meanwhile, Eve tries to navigate keeping Ethan in the loop while figuring out if he will stick around and be a father to this baby.
Things I normally don’t like:
Books where the main character gets pregnant
Books where the main character has two potential love interests
Slow burn romance
Friends to lovers
To say that I was shocked that this is my first 5 star book of the year is putting it mildly. You may be wondering why I even picked up this book in the first place, given all of these things I listed are pretty much in the book's summary. That reason is the author, Cara Bastone. I adored her story "Seatmate", which is an Audible exclusive, i.e., I can no longer listen to it since cancelling my membership :( When I saw that she had a new book coming out, I figured I would at least give it a shot. I am so glad that I did.
Bastone does an excellent job of making you feel what her characters are feeling. I could feel Eve's growing feelings for Shep as the story progressed. I could feel her hurt and frustration when people reacted in a negative way to her pregnancy. I felt everything and loved every minute.
Bastone also does a remarkable job of making you like all of the characters without sugarcoating faults. Some of the characters make bad or selfish decisions. But these characters also learn from these mistakes and are accountable for them. Willa, for example, is the first person Eve tells about the pregnancy and she has a bad reaction. Eve rightly feels frustrated with this reaction. Willa eventually apologizes and it feels like an honest apology. Ethan spends the book waffling about whether he wants to be in the baby's life. He has a "good" reason for it, but I found that I never fully trusted him, because Eve didn't either. There's only one character who is actually labeled a "bad guy", but he's only in one scene.
The book doesn't fully reach a love triangle (or the two possible love interests trope that people call love triangles), Eve is pretty clear from the beginning that she doesn't really see a romantic future with Ethan. But I appreciated the intricacies of how Eve, Shep, and Ethan were still intertwined, given that Eve is having Ethan's baby but Shep is always going to be around.
My issue with slow-burns is that I typically am not invested enough in the rest of the story to patiently wait for the romance to occur. I enjoyed going on the journey with Eve, so I didn't mind waiting, and it made the romance all the better.
My beef with friends to lovers is that I had too many close male friends growing up, so the concept of the trope just feels awkward to me. This one had the benefit of also being "best friend's brother", which I am more on board with.
Shep was such a good male lead. I'm partial to the golden retriever love interest (I have one of my own) and am disappointed that grumpy seems to be having a moment. I was happy to see Shep be devoted, caring, and just a good guy.
I've never had a baby, but the pregnancy journey that Eve takes feels very real. The author initially thought of the idea for the book when she was about to have her first child and then finished it while pregnant with her second. I imagine a lot of the story comes from the author's experience.
I'm so happy that I gave this book a chance. I highly recommend.
5 stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
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U know what i'm really worried about? That because move was such a big hit he wants to try and make want like the son of move or another upgraded version of move. I just want you to have fun baby♡
#he worries so much#and i feel like the day of the release he wont be even sleeping#and i so so so hope people will make it as hype as move#if not more#but if he really is going to stick to these concepts then i'm fully supportive#i love you
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tea party
Summary: Steve and Sam are as good as men get, so of course, they’re willing to indulge Bucky’s daughter in a tea party.
Warning(s): fluff, allusions to death
Author's Note: Hi, so, my post about Bucky having a weird daughter kinda blew up last night. I received a ton of support for the concept and as a result this fic finally got finished. I'm calling this series "weird little barnes" and I plan to write more for it, especially if this one does well. Hope y'all enjoy. <3
Word Count: 791
masterlist / ao3
“Daddy, Uncle Steve, Mr. Sam, will you have a tea party with me?” Winnie Barnes asks with a shy gap-toothed smile.
Steve and Sam are over at Bucky’s place to hang out, on a rare Saturday when there’s no world-saving to be done. Bucky had mostly stepped away from field work in order to raise Winnie, but Steve and Sam were still full-on Avengers. As a result they didn’t get to spend a lot of quality time with the younger Barnes. And Steve and Sam are as good as men get, so of course, they’re willing to indulge Bucky’s daughter in a tea party. Steve remembers similar antics from Bucky’s younger sisters, and Sam remembers Sarah and her friends wanting to do far worse to him than give him a tiara and make him drink water out of fake china.
The three men nod and Winnie jumps up and down, before ordering them to follow her into her playroom.
In the middle of the room is a round children’s sized table, already set with teacups and saucers. A teddy bear and a doll occupy two of the six available child-sized seats.
“Uncle Steve sits here,” Winnie said, directing him to a chair between a teddy bear and a doll.
“And Sam goes here,” She points at the seat on the other side of the doll. Sam obliges.
“And Daddy, you go here.” She tugs on her father’s metal arm and pulls him to the seat between Sam and her chair, on the other side of the teddy bear.
The furniture is comically small for them, the table too short to rise above their knees and the chair seats incapable of fully holding even one of their adult butt cheeks. Sam and Bucky look especially ridiculous from their assigned seats next to each other, their legs pressed up against each other. The situation is only worsened when Winnie distributes accessories. She places a plastic tiara on Bucky’s head, and then proceeds to hand Sam a flower crown. Then Winnie gives Steve a sparkly pink cowboy hat, which turns his cheeks a similar shade of pink. The men had never been more grateful for the absence of Natasha Romanoff (or, horrifyingly, Tony Stark).
After they’re seated and dressed for the occasion, Winnie goes around the table with her little teapot, taking care to pour equally small portions of water into each cup (including the teddy bear’s). The men all thank her politely for their tea, taking careful sips. Steve even sticks his pinkie out.
Winnie returns to her seat and beams at them.After a few moments of comfortably silent tea-sipping, Bucky turns to his daughter.
“This is really good, Win. What’s your secret?”
Winnie smiles big again, that same childlike joy bursting forth like sunlight.
“Arsenic,” she replies.
Steve spits his water all over Sam.
Bucky begins to cough. His flesh hand shoots up to his throat, rubbing over his trachea. His eyes go comically wide, writhing and loudly gasping for air. The writhing tips the precarious balance of his tiny chair, and he falls (the admittedly short distance) to the floor on his back. His mouth hangs open, gasping for air, a mischievous curve at the corner of his lips. He writhes on the floor, legs outstretched behind Sam and eyes trained on his young daughter. Bucky’s metal fingers reach out towards Winnie, his entire body tense with the effort of this desperate attempt to reach his daughter. His fingers hover in the air, right over the edge of the table, before the metal meets the plastic with a dull thunk and Bucky sags on the floor.
Winnie jumps from her chair, clapping and giggling. She kicks Bucky with the toe of her light up sneaker, but he remains unresponsive.
Steve stares at Bucky, and then up at Sam. Sam stares back.
What the hell.
They both turn their heads to Winnie. She flits her gaze between them, cocking an expectant eyebrow.
Steve looks to Sam again. Sam looks back.
Steve lets out an embarrassingly fake-sounding cough. His fist comes up to hit his chest, almost mechanically. Sam coughs too, louder. Both men look at Winnie, who rolls her eyes and flicks her wrist in a “keep going” motion.
They slide from their chairs slowly, their faces plastered with bewildered expressions as their knees hit the carpeted floor. Steve angles himself onto his back, before letting out one more half-hearted cough and lolling his head to the side.
Winnie surveys the corpses of her father and his friends.
“Daddy died the best,” she concludes.
Bucky opens one eye and sticks his tongue out at her, sending Winnie into a fit of giggles.
Sam recommends a child counselor on the way out.
#dad!bucky#bucky fluff#bucky barnes fanfiction#my writng#dad bucky barnes#parent bucky barnes#bucky barnes x daughter!oc#dilf bucky#bucky fic#bucky fanfic#weird little barnes
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Ok i was talking about this with a friend and i think it's an important topic that has to be addressed in the octopath community:
Alfyn and Therion's dynamic.
I know most of the people in this fandom like alfion!! I do too. And it is because I care so much about them that I'm writing this and I consider it key to enjoy their chemistry together at their best.
Octopath Traveler presents interesting themes and small similarities between their stories, like the whole color scheme thing with Darius and Alfyn and Miguel and Therion being thieves, so I can see why people (like me) are drawn to this relationship in particular. It presents conflicts you are invested in.
But I feel like it's relevant to not water things down.
I think Therion is the most abused out of both of them. The way he learns about trust with Cordelia, a character that shouldn't have been handled with this importance that she has, at all, is downright offensive writing and a really incompetent way to have Therion learn about breaking out of the cycle of abuse (he could have easily learned it with Gareth by sparing him, giving him a chance again: a foil that reflects Therion back then, before the fall, but alas, that scene didn't happen. It could still work if it didn't happen, though, but his murder wasn't explored at all beyond Gareth just being another soulless enemy and i'm very angry about it still.)
I think Darius's ending was a good way to close the story off though: as an abuse victim it gave me so much comfort to see him get his comeuppance by being killed by his own men, and not by Therion. Therion isn't really shown to be fond of battle in the game's dialogue (his english voice lines and tone, on the other hand, are so bad at representing him), he only does it because he's forced to in his story and in the gameplay for self defense. He's not like Miguel. So if you made Therion be the one killing Darius, that would go against his whole character, against his whole morals. He never wanted revenge.
Darius deserved to die. But Therion did not deserve to have his old partner's blood in his hands.
I feel like a thing overlooked by the fandom too for some reason is the fact that Therion is portrayed as a brownskinned man (though with reaaaaally ashy pigmentation 🤨) in concept art. The illustrations where he's on whitewash him: which i also feel like isn't talked enough about in the community. Sometimes I draw him either brown or albino for that reason, but most people do portray Therion as brownskinned.
Which brings me to the next point: Alfyn isn't Therion's savior, and making him that is, indeed, racist, since Alfyn is a white man. I trust we know about the concept of white saviorism enough to know this is a problem. The thing with Alfyn and Therion's dynamic is that it's more complex than one saving the other. Each of their characters have their own agency and don't need to be saved, at all. Their mutual support is needed, of course, but they're not fully dependent on it. Human relationships are more complex than that.
Which brings me to my next point:
Therion and agency, and the doctor/patient situation.
As I stated before, I feel like Therion is the most abused out of both of them. I've read far too many fics where the plot is that Therion is dependent on Alfyn's medicines and treatment which is what brings them together and things develop into romance.
That's weirdo shit, and here's why: it robs Therion of his agency by making him fully dependent on a man he doesn't know, there's a significant power imbalance where the brown/albino man is on the lower end of the stick, and it goes against all code of ethics. You know what else has the same problems? Professor/student relationships, though those tend to have a very significant age gap too.
Alfyn would never fall in love with one of his patients canonically, and I don't know what makes people believe that. He's not a creep.
If you can't come up with not-creepy situations, follow canon. Make Alfyn steal from the Ravuses, he would definitely support the poor from Bolderfall and would understand the motivations of a thief against the most powerful people in a town where class differences are obvious to the eye. Make Therion follow the kindness he still has in his heart by supporting an apothecary who needs to save a little girl.
The potential is there. Just don't be creepy or weird about it. Let's enjoy a very interesting romantic chemistry between two men in a healthy way, because never does the game make it creepy.
Thank you for reading this, and I hope my points were understood!
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some trans Jeff thoughts:
he realized he was trans in elementary school and just went fuck it I'll just start introducing myself as Jeffery and see if anyone decides to stop me (as we know, jeff winger can get away with almost anything)
he got top surgery the second he could afford it (around the same time he started at his law firm), and probably bribed someone to keep it a secret
"I'm jeff winger and i would rather look at myself naked than the women I sleep with" are the words of a man proud of his transition
he's really insecure about his fashion sense, which is why he mostly dresses like the douchey guys at his firm in the start of the show, he thought you can't go wrong with the sleazy lawyer look
he will never admit it but he feels super good about the dean hitting on him, because the dean is a (cis) guy, acknowledging that Jeff is more manly than him
i think he starts out stealth and comes out to everyone one by one, probably starting with abed because he knows abed won't judge him and will probably just see it as an interesting backstory.
abed just says it's cool and maybe worth a prequel exploring Jeff's transition, and jeff asks him to predict how all of the members of the group will react to him coming out.
abed's predictions:
britta will be over-the-top supportive and do a ton of research about trans history, probably put together a slideshow just to prove how progressive she is, and jeff will be a little bit weirded out, but also touched that she did all that for him, though he would never let her know that
shirley will be confused, because she doesn't know how someone she trusts and knows so well could be part of a group she was raised to hate, but ultimately realizes that there's nothing actually against the lgbtq people in the bible, and, as a cool character development arch, starts to advocate against use of the bible to justify bigotry
troy will just think it over and decide that Jeff's physique and coolness are even awesomer knowing how much work he'd had to put in to be like that, and respects Jeff's manliness even more
annie will give him a hug, say something sweet about how she'll always love him, and worry about his health, because even she read somewhere that taking testosterone makes you more likely to have a heart attack, jeff will explain that the risk is still only as high a cis guy, and she'll be the one to always remind him to take his shots
peirce will say at best say "jeff winger used to be a chick?" and at worst call him a slur, either way there's sure to be a lot of misgendering from him, and pestering to know Jeff's deadname (needless to say, Jeff just doesn't tell peirce)
the whole group goes out of their way to keep their beach trips a secret from pierce (the girls don't want him there anyways, he's too liable to be creepy) even though jeff knows that even if pierce saw his scars, all he would have to do is make up a story about some childhood accident and pierce would never question it
sorry this ended up being super long. can I hear some of your headcanons for him?
YES ALL THIS!!! yes yes i’m fully accepting this as canon oh my god
i’m about to type a whole ass ESSAY at midnight because i have been DYING to talk about this for months ajfdksljk,,, this is going to be obscenely long and i might end up adding even more to it as i continue to rewatch the show because there is truly no shortage of trans jeff content (especially when you’re trans and see transness in every little thing ajdkslfkjs)
spoiler warning for literally everything about this show under the cut <3
i 100% agree, i feel like he realized he was trans super young, especially since in the show we see him as a little kid a couple of times.
like look at little jeff with the oversized sweatshirt and little ponytail!! that’s childhood trans fashion. not to be dramatic but part of me thinks that jeff’s dad left before he fully came out to his family (which gives him even more angst about it, because until that one Thanksgiving episode, he’s never able to prove to his dad that he’s a better man), but part of me thinks that his dad left after he came out (which adds that spicy i-should-have-stayed-in-the-closet guilt that he has to work through).
either way, because his dad wasn’t there, he had to base his concept of masculinity on something else, which was becoming a lawyer!! there’s some line that’s like “after the dust and divorce papers were settled the only man i looked up to was [the lawyer guy]”. like, replacing your father figure in your mind with the concept of “a job where you can talk your way in and out of anything and distort other people’s concept of reality”? that’s trans.
and the fucking THANKSGIVING EPISODE... i struggle to watch it without crying hehe <3 yeowch! the dichotomy of willy jr. being the “wrong” kind of man because he’s “too soft” but jeff also not being enough despite adhering to all the social standards of masculinity... fuck!! this whole scene of him telling his dad “i am Not well adjusted” and talking about how he gave himself an “appendix surgery scar” when he was a kid and he still keeps the get-well-soon letters from his classmates under his bed? oh my god. the implication of people loving him not despite his scars but because of them?? trans. i can’t think about this episode for too long or i’ll start yelling.
OH and this scene? where he talks about how his mom got him a girl costume for halloween?? and everyone said “what a cute little girl” and after a few houses he stopped correcting them?? and “once the shame and the fear wore off, i was just glad they thought i was pretty”?? THAT’S TRANS... the man needs validation oh my god... and then in all the halloween episodes we see he has these ultra-masculine costumes (a cowboy, David Beckham, one of the fast and furious guys even though he never watched the movies, a boxer with his DAD’S boxing gloves... god) costumes are about becoming something else and he always chooses to be hypermasculine and that is trans.
THE PHYSICAL EDUCATION EPISODE!!!!!!! being uncomfortable during P.E. is a queer experience. period. but him being specifically uncomfortable in the clothes someone else is assigning to him? trans. “are we gonna talk about clothes like a girl? or use tapered sticks to hit balls around a cushioned mat like a man?” TRANS. and him eventually stripping in public? celebration of transness. and the fact that he eventually becomes comfortable in both the uniform and his own style!! trans!! god i love this episode.
AND AND AND!!! the gay dean coming out episode!!! where it’s the three of them discussing the best way for the dean to come out as gay despite not entirely identifying with that label!! so we have both frankie and the dean who are sort of ambiguously queer, and jeff who’s a stealth trans man who’s probably only out to only the study group at this point. this scene where the dean and jeff have this like eyebrow communication while frankie is talking is just so cute. queer-to-queer communication. “I am so curious” “oh?” “intellectually.” “oh...” ajfdksljfk this scene just screams high school GSA to me and i love it so much.
and SPEAKING of the dean!! i totally see you on that. i feel like jeff has some internalized homophobia/biphobia (like he’d throw punches over someone else, but when it comes to himself he has a lot of shame). and also seeing the dean so confident in all his different outfits/costumes has a weird affect on him bc it’s like “okay, the dean, a cis guy, can do that, but i as a trans guy could Not because that’s Breaking the Rules”. which, like, throwback to the halloween thing. of course there’s no right way to be masculine, but mr. winger does not know that.
another thing!! the episode where their emails get leaked? that includes his emails with his therapist. fuck!! he was outed to the whole world in that episode!! no wonder he was so fucking angry!! this whole episode (and really any time he mentions his therapist) is so interesting when you think about them as a person he talks to about his transition. OH which adds to the thing with the dean!! “and you told your therapist you wanted to be alone this weekend” and “not you jeff, i know you’ll be visiting your dad” ”I told you to stop reading my emails”. luckily his study group has his back and just makes fun of him for emailing astronauts lmao
and WHO can forget “they’re giving out an award for most handsome young man!!!!” what else is there to say about this line besides: he’s trans. you know he didn’t get awarded enough for being a handsome young man when he was a kid, and no amount of compliments when he’s fully-grown can really make up for that. some people crash a kid’s bar mitzvah to cope with the fact that they struggled to be seen as themselves when they were a teenager <3
also his weird relationship with pierce? where he kind of hates him (understandably lmao) but at times has this almost-friends-almost-father-son relationship with him? especially in this episode where he’s forced to bond with him and ends up having a good time by accident (at a barber shop no less, the perfect place to Be A Man with your Man Friend). idk what to say about him besides the fact that pierce says his mom wanted a girl when he was born and made him dress like a girl (and his middle name is anastasia!) so if they’re gonna do any bonding over transness it’s gonna be that.
okay one last thing and then i’ll shut up for the night. this episode kills me (and almost kills jeff hahahahelpi’mcrying). it’s a very Trans thing to not be able to visualize your future self, it just is. growing up trans at the time he did? i don’t know what kind of future he saw for himself, but i’m so happy that he ended up with a group of friends who became his family and love him the way they all do. i’m so emotional over this asshole it’s ridiculous.
in conclusion:
they’re trans, your honor <3
#community#jeff winger#trans jeff winger#GOD i'm gonna make a video essay about it if nobody stops me#yall know that youtube channel AreTheyGay? i want to be that but AreTheyTrans#the videos would just b like... jeff community. neo the matrix. bill and ted bill and ted. audrey little shop of horrors. jo little women.#maybe i should start that youtube channel sjdfklsj#thank you for prompting me to talk about this because i think about it twice a day#i might end up reblogging this and just adding different responses jeff has had to casually homophobic/transphobic things that happen#in the show#like the episode that last photo is from when the dean is like#'spring transfer student dance isn't rolling off the tongue so we're calling it The Tr@nny Dance!' 'much more greendale.'#OH AND ACCIDENTALLY KILLING PIERCE'S DAD!!! HOW DID I NOT MENTION THAT EARLIER SJFKLSJ#'you LITERALLY killed a father!' 'well not MINE dummy!!'#alright i need to do my homework now ajfklsdjfl
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BOYFRIEND!YANGYANG
includes:
♡ before the relationship
♡ becoming comfortable/humour
♡ relationships with other members
♡ jealousy/pda/flirting
♡ disagreements
♡ dates/texting/social media
♡ languages/"i love you"
masterlist
enjoy!
wc: 2.4k (i may have gone a bit overboard with this, you can tell yangyang is my bias lol)
♡ before the relationship ♡
imagine a best friends to lovers concept with yangyang 🥺
you'd been close friends with him since high school
and you spent the majority of your time with him
tbh you were bound to fall for each other
you'd watched yangyang grow from a cringey little thirteen year old into the yangyang we all know and love today
likewise, yangyang had a crush on you for yearssss
but he was always too scared to tell you how he felt because he didn't want to ruin the friendship
it would take lots and lots of convincing from the wayv members to actually tell you how he feels
he's so nervous before he tells you that he chickens out
and when ten and kun find out he didn't tell you they literally scream at yangyang
"JUST TELL THEM HOW YOU FEEL MAN"
finally, FINALLY yangyang just spits it out and tells you he likes you
you don't even hear what he says at first because he's speaking way too fast and mumbling at the same time
and he refuses to say it again
but when you finally realise what he said you laugh
because you've had a crush on him for ages too!
and yangyang is really shocked
and annoyed that he spent so much time worrying about your response when you actually felt the same way
lowkey annoyed that you didn't tell him first but it's okay, he gets over it quickly when you decide to become a couple
♡ becoming comfortable/humour♡
i think the way yangyang acts around you would change after you start dating
because he's never had a serious relationship before and the kid doesn't really know how to act
so he's really nervous and lowkey awkward at first
like "since we're dating we hold hands now?"
"i want to but what if my hands are sweaty or y/n doesn't want to"
and you're like "just hold my hand, dummy"
eventually he gets used to being affectionate towards you
and when he does, he's so adorable!
lots and lots of cuddles
yangyang is kind of clingy with you
imagine him pestering you to give him attention while you're trying to work lol
laying his head on your shoulder and tickling you to distract you
once he fully reprises his role as your boyfriend, he turns into the loud, teasing yangyang we all know and love
you know he's totally comfortable with you when he walks into your house singing at the top of his lungs, not caring who is home with you
i love yangyang but he totally gives off dumb bitch energy
like it's so endearing but he can be so so stupid sometimes
even he's said that he doesn't think before speaking most of the time
so half the conversations you guys have are very weird and/or questionable
but very entertaining and make you love him even more
an example would be when he likes to talk about the future he's imagined with you
like he's talking about the type of wedding he wants with you and what he wants to name your kids (eleven because they're gonna be better than ten lol)
and you've never really thought that far ahead in the future
but it's really cute that he's imagined a future with you
and it just makes you love him even more
yangyang has pretty good banter with you
he likes to joke around with you and tease!! the!! shit!! out!! of!! you!!
"i found a picture of you when you were ten years old! you look like you're wearing a potato sack!"
"i can't believe i'm dating someone with no style"
"yangyang i was ten"
"clearly nothing has changed"
"no don't hit me i'm kidding!"
but it's all in good fun
i really like yangyang's humour and find it super funny when he teases the older members of wayv
and just because you're dating him, don't expect him to go easy on you lol
i feel like yangyang needs a lot of love
so you better be having lots and lots of cuddle sessions with him
ones where he's the big spoon are always nice because he feels like he is protecting you
but occasionally he will let you be the big spoon
not very often though because he gets babied enough as it is by ten and kun
imagine watching a movie with yangyang while you're curled up under a blanket in his arms
and he's making quiet comments about the movie
and you have to tell him to stop commenting on every single thing but it's secretly making you really sleepy
and you can feel his heart racing through his sweater omg
♡ relationship with other members ♡
wayv were so happy when you and yangyang finally got together
they always had a feeling you'd end up dating
because you'd been close friends for so long and they could always see it happening, you know?
they are kind of devastated because it means their son is growing up :'(
and ten likes to remind yangyang that even though he's in a relationship he will always be ten's baby
wayv are scared of you and yangyang when you're together though
because you feed off of each others humour really well
so wayv know they're in for massive roasting sessions every time you come over to the dorm
because you ignite this spark in yangyang that makes him want to tease his geges mercilessly, even more than usual
but it's okay because in a rare show of solidarity they can all band together to tease you
so it's literally you and yangyang versus kun, ten, winwin, lucas, xiaojun, and hendery
but in the end wayv really like you and love how well you treat yangyang
they're not worried about him because they know you'll be a positive and supportive part of his life
♡ jealousy/pda/flirting ♡
i think, simply because yangyang is young and hasn't had relationships before, he would get jealous quite easily
he's not possessive per se, but he would prefer that you pay attention to him rather than someone else
even when you're paying too much attention to one of the other members of wayv he starts to feel jealous
and he feels really guilty because he knows you're just being friendly
but he can't help feeling left out
so while you're talking to the other member he'll come over and wrap you in a silent hug or something
just to remind you that he's your boyfriend and he deserves your attention too
if a random person was flirting with you, i think he would just watch on silently
like he would be getting more annoyed as seconds passed, but he also wouldn't do anything to put a stop to it
he'd want to see how you dealt with it yourself
and if you were acting as what he perceives to be a little too friendly he'd probably give you the silent treatment for awhile
but it wouldn't last long because he struggles to not pay you attention
because he really likes you hehe ;)
yangyang's not very keen on pda
he prefers to steal sneaky kisses when nobody's looking
like if you're watching a movie at wayv's dorm he'll kiss you when he thinks the others are distracted
for him it's the excitement of knowing someone could see you being all cute together
and knowing the others could tease him about it if they saw
but seeing how far he can take it before they realise you're basically making out on the couch lol
i also think yangyang is part of the wayv shameless flirter line along with hendery, ten, and lucas
but he's more lowkey about it
he says some really cheesy line and has a shit eating grin on his face
and then a second later he's like "ew why did i say that, that's so cringey omg"
he's not super romantic sorry guys
so in that sense he doesn't flirt often
but when he does it's really bad lol
but your favourite thing to do is flirt with yangyang
because he gets all shy and doesn't know what to say
and he tries to respond but ends up burying his quickly reddening face in his hands
it's even funnier when you do it in front of the rest of wayv
can you imagine a blushing, embarrassed yangyang trying not to show the rest of his members how affected by your flirting he is?
they would eat that shit up
since yangyang is usually so cocky and the one teasing them, they love to tease him when he's all shy and blushing
wayv literally cheer you when you flirt with yangyang in front of them LOL
"YEAH GET IT YANGYANG!!!"
LMAOOO
♡ disagreements? ♡
i think you and yangyang would have small disagreements fairly often
just because he's kind of stubborn?
it would never lead to an argument or anything serious
just irks you a bit
the only think you've really had an argument about is one time when you felt he was being too immature
you'd said something like "i feel like i'm dating a child, can you act serious for a single second?"
and it's lowkey a pet peeve of yangyang's to be compared to a child because it's a little emasculating for him
so you really hurt his feelings by saying you felt like you were dating a child
because that's just his personality, he's not trying to act immature, but he's so used to being the maknae of wayv that that's just him
and so you didn't talk for a few days
but eventually you realised you'd been insensitive and apologised
yangyang accepted your apology and you've made sure to love him for how he is rather than point out things you don't like
and let's be honest, there's nothing more fun that spending an afternoon fooling around with yangyang, forgetting all your responsibilities and stresses
♡ dates/texting/social media ♡
sorry everyone but i think yangyang is kind of lazy when it comes to dates
like i said before he's definitely not the most romantic member (not when kun and xiaojun are in the same group lol)
so he prefers to spend time with you around the dorm
like having movie dates or he might take you to do something fun like go to a fair
or even takes you down to a court to play basketball lol
but you're just happy you get to spend time with your boyfriend
he used to put in a lot of effort
but one time he tried to cook you dinner despite not knowing how to cook and i'm not kidding when i say he nearly burned down the dorm
and since then kun banned him from cooking so yangyang sticks to more relaxed, low effort dates lol
because yangyang's a clingy boyfriend he misses you heaps when he goes away
so expect heaps of texts from him asking you how you're going
but also lots of random ones about things he's doing
literally a minute by minute rundown of his day, as it's happening
"omg ten accidentally put shampoo in his hair instead of gel"
"i switched the shampoo and gel around, don't tell him"
"okay somehow ten found out"
"he's attacking me now"
"this is child abuse, call cps"
"okay i survived"
also he doesn't really like calling, he prefers texting you
and he doesn't mind not hearing your voice because he's gonna see you in twenty minutes anyway
he doesn't send good morning/good night texts
instead he sends selfies
like, selfies every few hours
selfies of him, selfies with other members
also selfies with his pets bella, louis, and leon
you don't know why he sends them but you're not complaining at all because your boyfriend is very attractive and he knows it
around 40% of his instagram posts are you/selfies with you
don't get me wrong, yangyang loves you and thinks you're instagram-worthy
but manz is feeling himself over on his insta and would just naturally post more pictures of himself than you
when you go through his feed there's actually heaps of pictures with you
but they're surrounded by lots of himself so it makes it look like he doesn't post you
solely comments emojis like "🧍♂️🚗💨" "👩🤏🧑🦲" and "🕳👨🦽" on your selfies because that's his humour
he doesn't want to be that boyfriend that's like "😍😍" on every post
but will hype you up in private text messages like "WHO ALLOWED YOU TO LOOK THAT GOOD" "OMG"
♡ languages/"i love you" ♡
yangyang prefers to speak to you in english or chinese (mandarin)
he also wouldn't mind german
his german isn't perfect but he knows he needs to keep speaking it to retain the language
if you spoke another language, he'd put in effort to learn it but i don't think he'd get very far
so he'd just end up speaking to you in a mixed mess of english and chinese
yangyang likes to teach you things though
like basketball, video games etc
it boosts his ego and makes him feel all mushy that he's teaching his partner stuff
so i think he would rather help you learn english/mandarin/german rather than learn a language himself
(partly because he's lazy and partly because he speaks so many already)
i think yangyang would be the first one to say "i love you"
he's been wanting to say it for ages but he's too nervous
he knows you like him back but he worries that saying "i love you" might scare you off
even though he literally talks about your future kids #yangyanglogic
you were laying with him on his bed in the wayv dorm
and he was like "do you wanna know a secret"
thinking, "what sort of bullshit is yangyang gonna say now lol" you said sure
and he was like "i think i love you"
"you THINK?"
and yangyang panics and is like "no i do love you, i just didn't want to make the mood weird"
you just laugh at the absurdity of his statement and cuddle closer to him
"you're funny yangyang, i love you too"
AHHHHHHHH i'm gonna go cry myself to sleep because this is so cute
lol just kidding but seriously i love yangyang so much
can you imagine him being your boyfriend?
he's so inexperienced and feels like he's making heaps of mistakes but he's really cute
🥺 anyways
stan wayv please hoes
other members: kun | ten | winwin | lucas | xiaojun | hendery
© 0606-hyuck 2021. All Rights Reserved.
#neowritingsnet#nct#nct 2020#wayv#nct imagine#nct scenario#wayv imagine#wayv scenario#wayv as your boyfriends#yangyang#yangyang nct#nct yangyang#yangyang wayv#wayv yangyang#yangyang x reader#liu yangyang#hellabts
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Going off a different ask you answered: Would you ever write Tim/Jack? Or do you have ideas about them? Its so messed up and hot and yet so little fics out there
Yesss. I actually have half a fic written that I've really been meaning to go finish up one of these days! It's a little bit of "you look just like your mother," a large bit of Tim coping poorly, and ultimately a hurt/comfort piece.
I got a wonderful gift fic last year that is primarily Bruce/Tim, but includes references to Jack/Tim that just really set Tim up to be further fucked over by this new father figure, and that is a banger of a concept. And I ALSO love the reverse take where Bruce is a good person who's horrified by the whole thing, and extra distraught that he never realized this was happening to his Robin all those years.
Ideassss. I think the fanon idea that Tim's parents were super cold and always negligent can be fun to read, but I want to try to tap into Jack's canon personality and their relationship here.
Jack who preys on Tim very young, back when Tim's parents were still traveling all the time, and Tim is just happy for the attention.
Jack who only starts preying on Tim after Janet dies and he decides to stay home more, and Tim is caught between desperately wanting that promise of his dad sticking around and simultaneously wishing, for the first time, he would go away.
Jack leveraging Tim's secrets and disappearances from the time he was Robin to keep laying on the guilt and disappointment and "if you really loved me, you would at least do this for me," and all that shitty manipulation.
Or Jack and his anger issues snapping and regularly turning the abuse more violent, physically hurting or threatening Tim. Tim who is Robin, and has dealt with way scary guys than that without breaking a sweat, but can't conceive of fighting his dad.
Jack's dislike and lowkey jealousy of Bruce combining with some heavy projection to make him certain Bruce is also fucking his son/trying to, whether or not that's remotely true. Possessiveness.
(I cannot come up with an in-character way for either of them to share, but Bruce being like yeah I am fucking your son, and there's nothing you can do about it. He likes me better. I'm going to prove it by fucking him in front of you.)
Tim's abuse being fully contained at home, and him leaning even harder into the Robin/Tim Drake separation that he already does, because his Robin life is great and wonderful and without these problems! That span of time when Jack forces him to quit being the worst time ever.
Steph and Tim bonding over their shitty dads and csa ;-;
Alternately, Tim always being there to listen to her and offer support, and never mentioning his own problems, and when it finally comes out he's like "??? why would that be relevant. it's completely different. my dad is not a supervillain and therefore everything's fine."
Jack not dating Dana now because Tim is the only wife-figure he needs :)
Or Jack still dating and marrying Dana, and Tim is just the dirty little secret.
I believe in Dana Winters as the best parent Tim has ever had despite not actually being his parent, and just you wait I will turn this into a sweet healing and bonding opportunity for them. Tim Wayne is out, Tim Winters is in.
uhhh something something dirty dadson fic
#you know when i started typing here i didn't think i had that many ideas and figured it would be a vaguely disappointing reply on that fron#perhaps i underestimated myself#7ask
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Whoop Whoop next chapter is in!
Lil guy belongs to @toastraccoon
Cel sighed as he buried his face into his knees. He was currently trying to come to terms with the fact that he had just developed a crush on his new friend...if he could even call Mari a new friend at this point.
They had been traveling together for two years after all.
Cel groaned grabbing the attention of Mari, they turned around, looking at Cel in concern
"You okay buddy?" They asked as they jumped out of the open Google Chrome tab and onto the taskbar.
They cringed slightly as another twinge of pain shot up their back and it was Cels turn to frown in concern.
"Mari-"
"It's fine, it doesn't hurt that much, I'm okay" Mari shrugged, cringing again as the movement jostled their injury.
Cels concerned frown deepened at that. "Mari it's been a week and your injury is still just as bad as it was when you first got it!" Cel stated firmly, Mari shrunk slightly at that, looking up at Cel a look of realisation falling upon their face.
"But...I took a healing potion" they whispered, now eyeing Cel worriedly.
"Well it didn't work!" Cel snapped
"It worked for you didn't it!?!" Mari snapped back and they both went silent for a few moments.
Cel thought back to the last time he had taken a Minecraft healing potion...when he and Mari had first met. Cel had been in pretty bad shape and whilst the small bits of code damage had been healed by the potion, the largest injury had remained until eventually it had "healed" on its own.
Well that’s what Cel had believed, until the injury had flared up again during that attack the day he and Mari were kidnapped.
"...yeah, it worked for the small ones" Cel shuffled awkwardly as Maris' concerned look deepened "the large one on my back stayed there for about a week...I thought it had healed too but...it started hurting again...it was small at first but...it got worse..." Cel whispered, lowering his voice at that last bit as guilt began eating away at his throat.
Mari looked at Cel in shock, opening their mouth to speak when they seemingly decided against it.
"Okay" Mari put their hands up in defeat "let's see what the internet says about this" they turned around and jumped a mile as their eyes landed upon the small green stick standing in front of them.
"GAH! AHuh-" They doubled over in pain as the injury was jostled once again. Cel jumped up and quickly made his way over, grabbing Maris arm as they began to lean too far left for Cels liking.
"Oh gosh! Sorry I didn't mean to startle ya!" Lil guy began eyeing Mari nervously as they began leaning heavily on Cel, much to their dismay "are they okay?" His eyes moved over to Cel as he asked the question.
"No...they're not" Cel sighed looking at his now struggling to stand friend in concern "They were attacked by a powerful stick last week...just after we first met you...and...and they've been having back pain ever since..." Cel finished now looking over at Lil Guy;
Lil Guy shuffled nervously, a guilty expression written across his face.
"Yeah, I should probably apologise for that" Cel gave him a confused look, but remained silent, letting Lil Guy continue.
"I heard you both getting attacked...I did try to help you but uh...the group knocked me out before I could get you out...I've been worrying about you two all week...and rightly so" Lil Guys nervous look moved over to the still tensed up Mari "Mari looks like their suffering from a bad case of code damage..." The small stick began making his way around the duo.
"You don't have to apologize for that...it was three v one-" Cel smiled reassuringly "besides you're here now...you can help Mari now, can't you?..." Cel shuffled awkwardly, worried he was being too forceful.
Though Lil Guys' content smile quickly chased those worries away "yeah...I'm here now" He began pulling off his oversized backpack as Cels gaze returned to Mari.
Cel looked between the two for a while before realising the medic would probably need some help reaching Maris wound if they remained in their current position.
"Mari?" Cel looked up at Mari, they looked over at Cel slowly. Cel could practically see the pain written over their face and his heart ached at it, but he needed to do this in order for them to get the help they needed.
"Mari, could you sit down please...Lil Guy needs to be able to reach your back" Cel asked gently, Maris' pained look deepened for a few moments before they slowly began trying to lower themselves to the floor.
Cel supported Mari on their journey to the floor until they had both made it to their destination.
A few moments of Lil Guy rummaging in his bag later and he had pulled out what he would need. Cel looked over in curiosity as Lil Guy unscrewed the lid off of a small pot and began applying the thick cream like substance onto Maris' injury.
Mari hissed and tensed up even more as the substance hit their skin, in response Cel grabbed Maris hand and began muttering soft words of comfort as the hiss slowly turned into soft whimpers.
Lil Guy watched this out of the corner of his eye and smiled playfully.
"So, how long have you two been together then?" Lil guy chuckled as Cel sputtered, caught off guard by the healers question.
He opened his mouth to explain when Mari beat him to it;
"We've been together for two years now" Mari stated as casually as they could considering their current physical state.
Cels face went red as they stared at Mari in shock. "M-Mari I don't think you understand what Lil Guy is saying" Cel blurted out the confusing feelings attacking his mind full force as his lovestruck mind tried to convince itself that Mari had actually meant those words.
Whilst his more realistic thinking mind kept yelling at him that it wasn't possible seeing the time frame Mari had just stated.
Mari stared at Cel in confusion for a few moments. before they could open their mouth to reply however a new wave of pain caused them to tense up again.
Without hesitation Cel quietly began rubbing Maris hand. Lil Guy chuckled lightly at that and Cel looked back up at them sharply, blush still evident on his face. Lil Guy chuckled again before going back to treating Mari.
A few moments later and Lil Guy was done covering Maris injury in cream, he put the container back into his pack, before pulling out a bandage.
"This'll help keep the cream from rubbing off" Lil Guy muttered as he began wrapping the bandage around Maris torso.
Cel continued to hold onto Maris hands, not noticing that Mari had relaxed significantly since the back rubbing had stopped, still trying to fully come to terms with his own emotions.
Mari didn't seem to notice either, still wanting to find out how they had misunderstood Lil Guys question.
"Hey Lil Guy?" Mari asked as said stick secured the bandage into place.
"Yeah?" Lil Guy replied, still focused on the bandage.
"What did you mean when you said me and Cel were together?" Lil Guy paused, looking thoughtful for a few moments, trying to figure out the best way to explain this concept to Mari.
"Mari do you know what love is?"
It was Maris turn to look thoughtful.
"I...kind of?...I know there are different kinds, I just" Maris face fell slightly "I don't know how they feel yet...I...I think I know what the friendship kind feels like, because that's what I feel about Cel...but I'm still not entirely sure"
Cel had only been half listening to the conversation as he continued to softly play with Maris hand.
His frown deepened slightly as he heard Mari refer to him as a friend. His frown deepened even more as he shook the disappointed feeling away.
Mari needed a friend, they could only handle a friend right now.
You don't even completely understand what you're feeling, calm down-
Lil Guy nodded, quietly thinking the new information over as they finished wrapping Maris torso and packed the remaining bandages away.
"Alright, all done!" He chirped, ignoring the bewildered look he got from Cel as the subject was suddenly changed.
"Now all you need is rest and..." Lil Guy looked outside of the desktop window, the user was currently not there, but that didn't mean they wouldn't return any time soon.
"...this isn't really the safest place to do so...but don't worry, I know a place" Lil Guy got up, pulling his oversized backpack onto his back as he did so.
Mari tried to follow Lil Guys lead, but ended up almost falling over again as Cel was still holding onto their hand and Maris back was still rather sore.
Cel quickly let go and steadied his friend, gently helping Mari stand fully back onto their feet.
Mari smiled at Cel gratefully and Cel had to push down another wave of the unwanted emotion only managing a half smile in response.
Cel slowly helped Mari into the tab just as Lil Guy had finished typing in the URL. He checked if the duo were there before pressing the search button, the page loaded and all that was there was a black screen, a brown wooden door sitting just in the middle of it.
The duo began eyeing the door nervously. Yes they trusted Lil Guy more than the sticks that had previously attacked them. But having only just learnt the sticks name, it was fair to say that they were both a bit hesitant.
Sensing this Lil Guys smile turned warm "Hey, it's okay" He quickly jumped off the search bar and walked towards the door "I'll go in first, if that'll make you guys feel better" He smiled pulling out a key and unlocking the door.
Cel still looked incredibly hesitant, but after seeing the comforting smile Lil Guy was giving them, he relaxed a little. "It's alright, we'll go" Mari smiled back, grabbing Cels hand and walking towards the door.
Cel looked up at Mari, he was still hesitant to go into the door, but he also trusted Mari too much to say so.
So he allowed himself to be dragged through.
If anything went wrong they'd still be together...right?
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The Falcon & The Winter Soldier - TV Review
5/1/21 ***spoilers***
Created by Malcomb Spellman, directed by Kari Skogland
Out of all the announced Disney+ MCU shows, The Falcon and the Winter Soldier seemed to be the most out of left field. Two sidekicks from the later 2 Captain America movies pair up and get their own show? What made their bormance so special? I mean, I like them well enough, but what is it that warrants a show? With all of it now said and done, this show is not what I expected, in a good way, but I can't say it lived up to its own potential. It brings up a lot of controversial subjects--stuff I really found interesting and progressive, but it doesn't fully commit. That being said, I'm glad it exists, and it takes many steps in the right direction.
6 months after Avengers Endgame, Sam Wilson (Anthony Mackie) and Bucky Barnes (Sebastian Stan) are returning to every day life, and the problems that come along with it. Bucky in particular is attending strict therapy to repair mental damage from decades of being Hydra's Winter Soldier. Sam is working with his sister and her boating shrimp business. As it turns out, the Avengers didn't technically receive a salary. Strange beings who they worked with, and i assumed Tony Stark or government funding supported the Avengers. Who built their base, made their suits, equipment, and how have the Avengers gotten by so far? The idea is brought up, but the show never comes around and fully explores this interesting point.
The Falcon the the Winter Soldier is only 6 episodes long, compared to WandaVision at 8. I feel like this show needed to be as longer for the numerous ideas it brings up and doesn't have time to flesh out. The main conflict of this series is the fight against the Flag Smashers. A revolutionary group, they want to return the world to what it was during the "blip." They want a worldwide policy of nations without borders. This is a really cool concept and something I could get behind, but yet again it's an interesting idea that is never sufficiently fleshed out. What (according to the Flash Smashers) was so great about the state of the world during the blip? What did nations do around the world that makes the Flag Smashers want to return to the way of life? Did people receive more finances and property? Did socialism thrive? None of this is ever expanded upon.
I also didn't care much for Karli Morgenthau, the leader of the Flag Smashers. Apparently their whole side story had to be changed last minute due to the covid-19 pandemic, and their inconsistent dialog and motivation shows this fact. I never bought actress Erin Kellyman as a revolutionary which thousands of people would follow and kill for, nor did I buy her as a juiced-up super soldier. The best character to come out of this show is John Walker as the government approved new Captain America. Wyatt Russell plays the character extremely well, and it's engaging to see a villain which so easily could have been one-dimensional develop into a more rounded person. He did however get a stupid small redemption in the final episode, but this "good guy" moment is wedged between him brutally killing an unarmed person in public, and joining what looks to be a "Dark Avengers" squad. For a show with progressive ideas, John Walker killing a civilian in a fit of rage should have been a point of no return.
My favorite aspect of The Falcon & the Winter Solider are the racial aspects it brings up. Finally we have a big mainstream company and mainstream show directly making light of the unfair bias and poorer treatment of minorities, especially black men. To see it happen even to an Avenger (Sam) was really cool, and fourth-wall breaking. Sam also discovers a man named Izayah who was a test subject, along with other black men, for the original super soldier serum in WWII. Izayah's mistreatment and his disenfranchised view of the United States is some of the best stuff in the entire show. Everything is all about living up to the legacy of Steve Rogers, but Izayah thinks no black man should even want to bear the stars and stripes. I hope this trend continues as it hangs a lampshade on something broad entertainment should address.
The action and cinematography also evoke my favorite corner of the MCU: everything directed by the Russo Brothers. The fight choreography is visceral without having to be flashy or larger than life (until the end). It was also great to see Sam Wilson reject the shield at the beginning of the show, thinking he would never live up to the mantle. His humility and growth throughout the show is also some of the best stuff to see. He truly is a man of the people, and the next best person besides Steve Rogers who truly can be and deserves to be the new Captain America. Zemo (Daniel Bruhl) also reemerges from Captain America: Civil War, but his character is totally retconned into being a Baron (comics accurate) with huge amounts of wealth and resources. I didn't like his character as much as I did in Civil War, as an everyday soldier tearing the Avengers apart is more compelling than a rich and powerful supervillain doing the same thing. He also had a dumb moment where he wore his purple ski mask for literally one action scene (less than a minute or two) and took it off never to be seen again.
Sharon Carter also makes an appearance, but I don't think the character, nor her twist being the Power Broker meant anything to me. It could be this show going a bit too far with its story threads. Carter has never been a charismatic character to me, and I'm wondering how they'll keep her interesting in the MCU going forward. She is the icing on the cake for too numerous and too weak of villains in this series. I also didn't think it was consistent of honorable of her character to go down a bad path especially knowing the lineage of Peggy Carter. I'm curious where this aspect of the story will go, but I'm not holding my breath. I wish this show cut out some of its threads in order to focus on some of its very good core ideas, especially only at 6 episodes.
The Falcon & The Winter Soldier has a lot of interesting ideas and brings up a lot of important ideas. I didn't expect this show to be critical of racial treatment, police brutality, and government overreach. To eventually see Sam evolve into the new Captain America and believing it down to the atom is the best thing to witness about this story. Bucky gets the short end of the stick, and while he does go through healing, I wish he had more great action or dialog scenes. The Falcon & the Winter soldier sets up future stuff, as the MCU does best. Sharon Carter might be some kind of bad guy going forward, the Dark Avengers seem to be forming, and Sam Wilson as Captain America may go on to lead a new generation of Avengers. The show is far from perfect, and sadly doesn't commit to some of its best ideas. I would watch another season, but hope it would have a slightly sharper script.
7/10
#the falcon and the winter soldier#winter soldier#bucky#sam wilson#captain america#MCU#mcu phase 4#black falcon#anthony mackie#disney#=w=
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I'm Allie: A Biography Summarized
Hey all!
My name is Alyssa, but call me Allie, let's drop the formalitiles already; we're all friends here right?When I was a kid, I always had a thing for creating new realities in my head. Now some would call this "lying", but I just think those people are close minded. As a kid, I really liked to tell stories, I mean, who didn't?! Everyone would be tuned in to your every detail, actually listening (and hopefully enjoying) the tale you spun for them. I remember the first story I ever told (only because it went so badly). I was about 6 or 7 years old and someone asked if anyone had a scary story to tell. I did not, but I was determined to tell one anyway. It was a story of a man who woke to find his whole town abandoned. Long story short, his friends played a prank on him. I know what you're thinking... not clever or scary in the slightest, but I was 8 give me a break! Everyone groned, no one liked it, but I thought, "ya know what? I kinda like telling stories." and thus the writer in me was born.
Fast forward to 2008, Step-Up 2: The Streets had just come out. I LOVED THAT MOVIE. I mean taught myself every dance and learned every line kinda love for that movie (I'll challenge anyone to a dance off). So at the ripe age of 10, I wrote my first movie. It was called Step-Up 3: The Masquerade and it was fantasic (for a 10 year old. Give me some credit). For some unknown reason, Touchstone didn't pick it up (they missed out BIG TIME), but I kept on writing. I wrote a couple of short stories and entered into competitions. I got discouraged over the years and thought, "maybe writing just isn't for me." I loved it, but it seemed like no one else liked my work as much as I did. So I changed paths.
When I was in high school, I wanted to go into international relations. I figured it would be really fun and rewarding to work with companies in different nations and try to help them breach the communicational gap. All was fine and dandy until I met my high school drama teacher, Mr. Wells. Mr. Wells had that contagious type of passion (I hope every student, regardless of subject, finds a teacher like him). We had a section where we had to write a play and I thought, "I already wrote a movie so this will be a piece of cake!". It was not. I worked for weeks on that play and turned up to class with a pile of crap. The frothy diarrhea icing on that cake was having it performed by my classmates that day so I could fully bask in the embarrasment that was my 14 page crapfest. After seeing my AWFUL play actually performed I thought, "I can do better." and so I did.
Junior year of high school we had a student-directed play festival. Of the 20-something years this festival had been going, no one entered in an original script, so I decided to enter this play festival with my new creation, a play titled, "Take a Number, Please". It was about a man who walked into a the ER with a head injury who's asked to take a number by the nurse at reception. Throughout the play, many other patients walk in with trivial injuries (a woman had lipstick on her tooth which she couldn't get off, another swallowed a bug), but the nurse lets them go through to see the doctor immediately. Turns out, the man who came in first is a patient at the hospital who periodically wanders down to the ER and complains of a head injury because he has amnesia and all of the other people walking into the ER are just in his head. Not a novel concept by any means, but it was mine and I treated it like my baby. The first night of the festival, my play was a hit. I had parents coming up to me saying how much they enjoyed my play, but the most rewarding part was hearing people laugh at my jokes and "awww" at the struggles of the characters I created. It was the highlight of my high school days, no doubt. This lit a fire under my ass.
Freshman year of college I had designated myself as a communication major, but one of the electives I signed up for was a scriptwriting class. It was the first time I really got to explore my writing and I loved every second of it. This was the year I really got to express my hidden side. A side that was a little bit dark and twisted. I wrote a play called, "Psychomachia" which boils down to "battle of spirits" or "soul war" (but Psychomachia sounded way cooler). It was about a girl who was struggling with two halves of herself, a light side and a dark side. Both my classmates and my professor loved this piece and, I'm not gonna lie, so did I. This piece was the first true expression of how I felt at the time and I cherished every second of writing it. Then I let others get to me...
"There's no money in writing." "You can't make a living off creative writing." I believed it. I figured I'd put my time into a career where I could support myself after graduation, so I stopped writing. I changed my goal back to international relations. I figured if I loved it once, I could love it again. Oh how wrong I was. I took a political science class and fell asleep as soon as the professor started talking (no dig on Prof Edwards, he was great). So I changed my goal, once again, to public relations with the hopes of becoming a social media manager, but I wasn't thrilled about it. I had no passion for it, I just figured it would give me a solid income to live on.
Spring semester of my Junior year I took a communication course called, "Gaming and Avatars". The course talked about how we can communicate all sorts of ideas through video games. This course was utterly illuminating for me. Not only did I meet my significant other in this class (shout out to my guy, KN, you know who you are), but I found my new love as well, communicating.... THROUGH VIDEO GAMES. What a crazy idea, right?! I could connect two things I absolutely loved doing... and get paid for it?? Who knew?!
So there I was, about to graduate college and questioning every decision I made in my undergrad. At this point I knew, without a doubt, that I wanted to write for video games. The problem was getting my foot in the door. I contacted countless game studios and sent my resume hoping and praying someone would give me a chance. Every studio I applied to would look at my resume and respond (if they responded at all), "We don't have any PR positions available." and I would tell them that what I really wanted to do was write. They would usually stop responding after that. So I enrolled in a master's program for creative writing hoping that it would give me some credibility in the field. But I felt like I was behind. I felt like I started late because I didn't study writing during my undergrad.
So I worked my ass off and built my portfolio. I wrote short film scripts, scripts for a web series, and I even made a game. During this time I still applied to game studios. I would send them whatever script I was working on or my game, but still no dice, until...
June 30th, 2020 (yes, I saved the date, judge me if you want). I got my first commision to write for the fantastically brilliant Rise Eterna. I was nervous and second guessing if I was really cut out for this, but there was no time to consider it; I am a game writer.
So there it is. Thanks for sticking around. I know this post was a journey, but now you know a little bit about me.
Stay tuned for more blog posts in the future (the won't be as long, I pinky swear)! Also check out my website, because I post blog content there first.
Write on,
Allie
#writer#game writing#narrative design#video games#bio#introducing myself#freelance#freelancewriters#freelance writing#blog
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