#but if i had unwavering faith in an afterlife

[gay-dorito-dust]

⚠️A little drabble with slight Season 2 spoilers for AIB. ⚠️ this was shit.

“You had every opportunity to be rid of me and yet here I still breath, has my usefulness to you not ran out yet after all this time? Had there not been a time where you could’ve easily disposed of me?” You asked Chishiya as you dragged your bleeding form -curtesy of the king of spades- to mark your final resting place beside him, back pressed up against the car; too tired to accompany Arisu and Usagi to the final game but your faith in them was unwavering. They’ve came this far so it stood to reason that they could put an end to all this. You’ve all lost too much to meet your end here; despite how tragic that sounded, it was a befitting end. To die at the end of the game.

Freedom is almost within reach now and all you could do was reminisce on your time in the Borderlands as time etched away slower then usual. For you the more notable moments took place at The Beach; the once warm safe haven that turned into a nightmarish hellscape right to the very end as it burned down in a blaze of fierce flames. You met Chishiya and Kuina there during a period of your life where you’ve seen one too many of your friends die during the games; Even gotten betrayed by one or two during the more morally tolling ones, which forced your hand into killing them so that you may survive in their stead.

So your willingness to befriend or ally yourself with someone else were slim to none. At the time you didn’t care if you lived when participating in the games, so much so that it made you more reckless and daring during them. Which in retrospect was the dumbest shit you’ve ever done; thinking that the consequences don’t extend to you after your dead because they do and the games like to remind every participant of that. So when you did meet Chishiya and Kuina, you knew what they’re game was almost immediately.

They weren’t here to make friends and neither were you, which was why when one day they did approach you that you were immediately on high alert, hand reaching for the knife that you kept after removing it from the cold hand of a dead man you came across before reaching the massive mansion of party goers. They extended their hand in ‘friendship’ but you shut it down as you stared at them dead in the eyes and told them, “don’t think I don’t know what game your playing at because I ain’t willing in becoming an meat shield for either of you to hide behind when things get too rough. Find some other gullible bastard and quit bothering me.” Before leaving the pair in the hallway as you went to prepare for another game.

Another memory you remember so fondly was when after you had gotten hurt from a game, instead of going back to the cars that would lead you back to The Beach, you slunk your way into an alleyway to die, your position was very much the same as the one you were in currently, back pressed against the brick wall and waiting death to take you far away from this desolate hellhole. Just when you had closed your eyes in acceptance, a voice called out to you and it wasn’t belonging to an angel; It was Chishiya. “What’re you doing?” He asked, however you knew that he could care less for the reason, he just wanted to get a reaction out of you for his own entertainment.

“Waiting to die so I can be as far away from you as possible.” You replied, not bothering to opening your eyes to him.

“That’s a little dramatic don’t you think?” He responds, leaning against the wall as his eyes examine the wounds you received as his brows furrowed but not out of worry.

“Doesn’t matter, all that does is the fact that soon I’ll be free from all this pain and will never have to participate in another game as I cross over into the afterlife.” You stood to your reasoning with steadfast loyalty.

“Dramatic and selfish,” Chishiya said as he ventured forth into the alleyway and knelt so that he was in front of you, getting a better look at your injuries. He didn’t have the best view from where he was standing previously and decided that closer examination was needed. So he kept the conversation going without easing any suspicion within you as you ‘awaited death’ as you so kindly put it. “Your wounds aren’t that severe, they’re deep but the only everlasting thing they’ve leave is a scar at most.” He deduced as you opened your eyes to glare at him. “Now get up before the cars leave us behind and we’re presumed dead.” Chishiya then stood up, offered out his hand for you to take.

You begrudgingly took his hand as he then hauled you off of the floor and began to help you hobble back to the cars that took you back to The Beach, where Kuina was waiting in the lobby for him and subsequently you as she took you off of his hands and aided in getting you to Ann for medical attention. Luckily the additional days added to your visa allowed you to make a full recovery for the next game.

The rest were blurred chaos of varying degrees and the only face that you could clearly make out of that mess was Chishiya’s and his voice, cool under pressure, guiding you to clearing your hectic mind and silence the unnecessary noise that would’ve inevitably have you killed. Even when you weren’t accompanying him in certain games, his presence was with always with you that soon before you allowed yourself to be swept away with everyone else and their growing anxieties, you would clear away their screeching voices and allow yourself to let the answer come to you rather then hopelessly chase it.

“You’re right, I did have opportune moments where I could be rid of you in order to save myself but for some reason, I just let them keep slipping through my fingers. Every time. At first I was wondering if I had let this place force me into a moment of weakness. I was left perplexed and questioning everything when all but soon enough I found my answer.” Chishiya said calmly for a guy who had just gotten shot. Twice. “What was it?” You asked him, awaiting him to finish the sentence on baited breath. “I got attached.” He finally answered glancing over to gauge your reaction like he always did. Which was a habit of his that you’ve only began to take notice as of just recently. He never did once glance at anyone else other then you when he wanted to know how his words affected someone.

Chishiya knew how he made people feel but for some reason he put more effort into knowing how you felt about his words, his actions, everything. It was weird, he even did this back at the beach but when you asked Kuina about this, her answer didn’t make any sense to you. “He’s grown attached to you.” She said but you could only scoff at such ridiculousness, “he only cares about what I came give him. Face it Kuina, Chishiya would rather throw me under the bus then ever admit it to my face that he’s attached.”

You stared at him as though he had grown a second head all the while he rested his head on your shoulder, “what’re your plans after we get out of here?” He changed the subjected, already knowing how you felt about him, he always knew and deep down he believed that you did too and that’s why you didn’t say anything in response. “I don’t know, I’ve worn myself down by just trying to survive and outlive others that I haven’t given it all that much thought.” You admitted to him in a moment of vulnerability, “but I wouldn’t mind it if we went through the unknown together.” You added, resting your head on top of Chishiya’s.

“Is that so?” He asks with a slight air to his tone as though he found all this funny but his hand reached for your own, you tensed at how cold you’ve both become in such a short amount of time that you were starting to actually face your own mortality. It was scary but for Chishiya; you’d brave anything. “Only if you want to of course, wouldn’t want to deter the great Chishiya Shuntaro from better things.” You added as to make light of your situation but faulted when you felt him starting to weigh heavily against your side. “Chishiya?” You said softly. “That sounds nice,” he finally spoke after a moment of silence but his voice was a lot quieter then before, “see you on the other side.” He added as the blimp belonging to the Queen of Hearts finally came down in the form of fiery rain before everything became black.

You awoke in a hospital with no memory of how you got here. Lost and afraid you almost called out in a state of panic when is voice, cool and collected, reached out to you. Silencing the unnecessary noise within. “Your finally awake.”

#alice in borderland x reader #alice in borderland imagines #alice in borderland imagine #alice in borderland x you #alice in borderland fic #alice in borderland fanfic #aib fic #aib fanfic #aib imagine #aib x you #aib imagines #aib x reader #chishiya shuntaro x reader #chishiya shuntaro imagines #chishiya shuntaro x you #chishiya shuntaro imagine #chishiya shuntaro fic #chishiya shuntaro fanfic #chishiya x reader #chishiya x you #chishiya imagines #chishiya imagine #chishiya fic #chishiya fanfic

[sxs-kav]

I saw Frozen Empire, so obviously I have to talk about it. Spoilers ahead.

Also disclaimer that these are my personal feelings, so if we disagree that's okay too!

So, overall I would rate the movie as good. Not my all time favorite in the franchise, I think that will always go to the original, but I enjoyed it. The story could have used a little work in some parts, but hey, nothing is perfect.

Favorite part of this whole movie: one Dr. Raymond Stantz, hands down. He is so cute as an old man-child whose enthusiasm hasn't waned the least bit over the years. Honestly, in Afterlife he seemed like he'd become cynical, but here his true nature really rang through. And I adore him being a mentor for Phoebe and the other younger characters, while also getting into mischief with them. That little sparkle in his eye when Phoebe asks "Aren't you retired?" No, Ray is never retired, he will always be ready to suit up.

I also loved in the police station when Phoebe was standing up to Dickless Peck, Ray had this face like he was so proud, like he could see Egon in her, memories of him saying "YOUR MOTHER!" 😆

The other thing I liked about the movie was the expansion of the Ghostbusters as a business, with the research lab. First off, I love that Winston, the one who didn't even believe in ghosts when he was hired, is now almost like the CEO of the company. But also, it opens up more possibilities for this new era and allows for more playing with the world building. Though I feel like it was a wasted opportunity to put in some easter eggs for TRGB. Unless the ghosts featured were in the (*shudder*) Q5 episodes, I didn't recognize any of them from the show. Then again, I guess they're newer ghosts so that wouldn't make sense, but maybe they could have been similar kinds of ghosts. Just as a small reference.

Other favorite parts include:

-The near-lesbian romance between Phoebe and Melody

-Ray smuggling the Mini Pufts from Oklahoma (because of course he would)

-Also just the Mini Pufts in general (why are they so violent?)

-The way Ray's face lit up when Peter came to the firehouse

-Peter being proud that Ray quit smoking

-Peter's unwavering faith that Ray's idea is good and will work, and saying they all trust him

-The library ghost (did they never go back to get her???)

-Gary saying the words to the theme song

-Janine in uniform!

-Slimer eating the pizza with the posesser ghost in it

Now, onto the areas that I felt were not as strong. First of all, I found it wild that Phoebe was being ousted by everyone without any kind of fight. She's the one that started the whole thing up again, she's got the passion, she's got the brains, she's got the glasses and the curls! Her mom says a grand total of NOTHING to defend her in Peck's office, and they all just accept that she can't be a Ghostbuster anymore. Yeah, they don't want to get sued, but it's just weird to me that they don't even seem like they feel that terrible that she got benched. Callie and Trevor are very callous about the whole thing. Only Gary seems like he gives a shit, and he's not even her dad. The way Phoebe's benching ended wasn't all that satisfying either. It would have been nice for the other three to maybe struggle a little without her, realize they need her to balance the team, and try to find a way to get her back. Winston was really the one that got Peck off their backs in the end, no thanks to anyone else (also, I'm pretty sure in that scene, someone in the crowd yells 'dickless' 😆).

Side note, I really don't like Callie's character that much. I think she's self-centered and doesn't seem to care about the kids' feelings unless the situation becomes dire. Maybe she does deep down, but mostly her attitude about everything stinks. Idk, I wouldn't care if she wasn't in the movie at all.

Anyway, back to the plot. I liked the idea of Phoebe's plotline. I wish they'd gone all the way and had her and Melody kiss, I really thought that was coming when she separated from her body. But I have an issue about that particular moment. The decision to suddenly put herself in the chamber like that seemed to come out of nowhere, at least I thought so. They made it like Melody was supposed to be the one tricking her into doing it, but she really never said anything to convince her. Phoebe just decided on her own to try it. I know she mentioned a couple of times wondering what it would feel like to be a ghost, but it wasn't a strong enough buildup to such a risky move. Honestly, when she asked Ray about him wanting to be a ghost, coupled with Winston saying Ray was going to get himself killed, I thought they were foreshadowing killing Ray (and thank God they didn't!).

They also hint at Phoebe specifically being the one that needs to be used but why? Anyone could have been tricked into the chamber and been controlled by Garaka for the chanting.

But moving on from that, the other issue I have is with the firemaster. He was a little too good at controling the fire after what, a couple of hours of practice? I think the character could still work, he could still be a quirky weird guy, but I think I would have made him more of a reluctant inheritor of his grandma's powers. Maybe he struggles with it at first and he figures he can sell the artifacts to Ray to get rid of the responsibility. Then later he can finally accept his fate to help beat Garaka when he starts believing in himself.

Those are the only major parts that I felt could have been tweaked. Besides that, I would have loved to see Slimer and Ray get a moment, just as a nod to their friendship in the show, but I guess they want to stick to one continuity. Of all the things they could have referenced from the show, though, it had to be the Junior GB 😆 It was just a throwaway line, but still, I don't want to remember they were a thing.

Tl;dr, the movie was good and there were a lot of parts I really enjoyed. For the parts that were weak, I'm confident there will be another in the future, so hopefully they'll keep improving.

Also, who the hell voted for Peck to be mayor? I bet he rigged the election.

#ghostbusters #frozen empire #peter venkman #ray stantz #egon spengler #winston zeddemore #phoebe spengler #janine melnitz

[anarchyincarnate]

A sinners fate

Pairing; Dainsleif X Amab!reader

C/w; Slight spoilers for 2.6 archon quest, ooc! Dainsleif [probably], lovemaking, biting, praises, Author not knowing how to fucking write dialogue, cheesiness?, Semi-public sex?, Dacrophilia

Finding themselves inside the eerily quiet chasm, the sounds of clashing stones filled their ears. It was a miracle none of the acolytes noticed their absence from the temple, sneaking off to search gems inside Liyue's main mine.

A heavy grunt brought them out of their daydreaming, listening in to the familiar voice of a certain bough keeper.

"Halfdan, I wish you a peaceful transition into the afterlife, Old friend..." He mumbled, raising his hand to brush up his sweat damped hair. The smell of Creator's cologne hit his nose. A gentle scent of the ocean and freshly picked Cecilias.

Turning his head around, he came face to face with Creator. The latter perched atop a small boulder, examining a piece of Archaic Stone they hold between their fingertips.

"Hello to you too, Dainsleif." their bored tone caught his attention. His pupils constricted slightly, taking in the blue glow that covered their entire being.

He noticed the small gem on their belt, similar to the vanquishing torch Traveler brought to help explore the chasm.

"Creator, what are you doing here?" He asked the god in front of him. Despite his distaste towards the Divine, He can never actively show his hatred towards them. Perhaps he saw how you truly wish the twins were reunited with one another, perhaps he felt the genuine pity and anger that boiled from their very core when they learned about the tragedy that befell Khaenri'ah? He's not entirely sure. They stayed silent at his question.

"C'mere." They ordered, placing the now polished gemstone into their pocket. He obeyed, making his way towards them, their eyes noticing the slight limp he had.

"The shaking and screams I heard were horrific to say the least. May those who have perished today be rebirthed into a world without cruelty." He couldn't believe his ears, did it deceive him? You. A deity above all, wished for a new chance to the sinners who died?

"Your honor, Why...?"

"hmm? What do you mean?" They arched their brow up, noticing the bough keeper placing his head onto their lap. Dainsleif looked exhausted, the curse and aftermath of the incident took a large toll on his body. Their hand intertwined with his, rubbing the abyssal blue knuckles.

"Why... Are you wishing for a new life to us sinners? We were cursed for living a life away from worshipping you." They noticed a small tear peeking through his eyelids.

"I'm not mad at that, quite the contrary in fact. Khaenri'ah was the symbol of unwavering humanity, having faith that they can survive without submitting themselves to the Divine. Unchained to lies Celestia pour into the minds of others, standing tall and proud on their own." They marvelled at how different Khaenri'ah was. It's a shame that those who survived having everything taken away from them, turned into a monster, something that doesn't resemble human.

"I'm proud of your people. I'm proud of every single one of you who fought with all your might against those who try to destroy the empire." They complemented, wiping away the small tears running down his cheeks.

"Allow me to show you my gratitude, okay? Consider it my thank you for your bravery."

----------------------------------------------------------

The red mark on his collarbone was one of many. Painting the blue and pale body of Khaenri'ah's twilight sword, they brushed their lips against his shoulder, nibbling at the rough and marked skin.

Their hands expertly guided him through his orgasm. The thick and red cockhead of his poured globs of sticky cum onto the ground.

Long have his clothes shed off his built body. The two entangled in the others warm grasp, not denying their carnal desires that swirl inside their bellies.

Dainsleif wanted more, yet he can't bring himself to voice his needs, feeling bad about wanting more from a deity he never once believed in. A part of him trembles over the fact that you were kind. Kind to a sinner like him, a man who shouldn't be near you, guilty over his people's action towards your status.

"Let your voice out, Dain. Let me hear you."

Their whisper flood into his ears, hands tenderly twist and play with his nipple. The other wrapped itself onto his shaft, slowly stroking the fairly large appendage while their mouth busied themselves with his own.

Tounges entangled, dancing inside the wet cavern if his, struggling to breathe in the thin air around them.

"It's amazing how much you've gone through, I can't imagine how traumatic it must've been," a whimper escaped his mouth. They stared into his galactic blue eyes with such sincerity, it's hard for him to keep his composure.

Tears fall down his cheeks, with them gently kissing it away. He felt overwhelmed by the tender love they gave him.

"C-Creator-! W-Why are you doing this with me-e!? I've committed so many crimes against you-! I do not deserve your kind--NESS~!" He screamed out, as clear ropes of cum spewed out of his cock.

His face flushed red, expression faltered, leaving behind the face of a touch starved man. Chuckling at his expression, they couldn't help but coo at him.

"You do deserve this, all of this. The crimes you've committed against me are miniscule compared to what I've done in the past." They said, moving him slightly so that his body is facing them.

"If you call yourself a sinner, then I'm a Devil by your standard." They giggled out, thick cock slowly pushing into the blonde man.

He moaned, hands wrapping themselves on their back, the claw slightly digging into their skin. He knows he shouldn't hold them quite hard, but with their soothing kisses on his shoulder, and the stinging yet bearable stretch inside him he couldn't help wanting to hold them close.

Once they bottomed out, they sighed in relief, rubbing small circles into his hips, trying to distract him from the pain. They know their big, Childe himself said it, so they try to make sure they aren't overwhelming him.

"Shh, it's alright, it's okay... You do not need to be insecure with me, you can let it all out."

And so, he did. Slowly, they move his hips up and down, bringing pleasure to them both, with how full he felt, he quickly finished.

Translucent cum sprayed their abdomen, with them chuckling at him. Luckily they were close as well, and with a few thrusts, they spilled their cum inside him.

Dainsleif felt calm for the first time in five centuries, he felt safe caged inside their strong arms. Traveler did tell him stories about sparring sessions you two would have behind Zhongli's back, knowing well that The Archon forbade you from wielding a weapon.

They say it's for Creator's safety, that they can just protect them and that there's no need for them to wield it.

Dainsleif knows how suffocating it must be for you, he pitied you, and so, he planned the keep you here with him for the time being...

#genshin sagau #sub genshin #genshin impact cult au #sagau smut #dainsleif smut #genshin

[altorav]

What do you think of Composer!Shiki?

Could be an interesting idea. Shiki's MBTI type is ENFJ, meaning she's a Fe-dominant person who values group harmony and in general people-oriented. Her MBTI type is also the type you'd find in benevolent gods, which would make her a far-cry to the two known composers we've seen in canon who both seem to be distant and had little regard to human lives. It might depend on what happens, but if Shiki ever willingly took the composer's throne it'd be driven by her faith and love towards humanity....at first. I think she'd do her duties with sorting out the afterlife just fine, and if the higher plane tried to nudge her into erasing her domain she'd likely fight tooth and nail to go against them.

Also, a very fun scenario, our Composer!Josh visits an alternate world where Shiki is the composer of Shibuya, there she runs things rather differently from his own, and unlike him who often felt like losing faith in humanity every now and then, he immediately took a liking in her because she's just so unwavering in her own faith to her own people even after repeated attempts from the Higher Plane that her city is better off erased. He finds her a good company to spar a debate with regarding the nature of humanity, and goes to her every now and then to test out his knowledge and gain more insights from his opposite.

#asks

[majachee]

What are your favorite songs that describe your OCs?

OKAY THIS TOOK A WHILE TO ANSWER CUZ I HAD TO... REALLY THINK ON IT.

And like... I'm gonna do specific OCs and the overall story (that I'm consistently rewriting and all the lore I posted so far is outdated so I gotta DELETE-) rq so uh

:^)

First things first! I really do genuinely associate Helvegen and Voluspa by Wardruna with the first three major arcs of the story, essentially the Ragnarök/Norse mythos focused arc and the two introductory arcs leading up to it.

Helvegen translates to Path to Hel, one of the major afterlifes in Norse mythos. While many people interpret it as akin to Hell due to similar naming conventions, but it's much more akin to Asphodel from Greco-Roman mythology! It resembles every day life for mortals and it's where you go if you don't die in battle and go to Fólkvangr or Valhalla. Hel is also where Baldr's soul goes after he is accidentally slain by his twin Hoðr, and where the messenger Hermoðr goes to plead with Hela for Baldr's return.

The song, to me, is about loyalty and accepting one's death, with one of the lyrics being "I will follow you over the Bridge of Gjöll with my song." and another being "You will be free from the binds that bind you/you are free from the binds that bound you."

Other lyrics that stick out to me are; "Day's end or beginning/Only the Raven knows when I'll fall" - it's just MMMMMM. The song also ends with an old poem about death (which was also quoted in GoW:R and when that happened I SCREAMED) and just... AUYUGH.

The third arc of the story is focused on the prophecy of Ragnarök and how Odin and Loki are abusing others to warp the prophecy to their own individual advantages after Fimbulwinter swept through the lands early. Leading up to the eventual reveal in arc 4 regarding the concept of Fate as they know it. Remember when I said the Fates were kind of distant/uninvolved? That's not the case anymore :)) wink wink.

As for the song Voluspa? It's based on the best known poem from the Poetic Edda of the same name (Völuspá) that goes over the creation of the world, its end, and rebirth. So, really, I'm taking someone singing a poem about Norse mythology and applying it to my Norse mythos OCs. But like... the way it's performed gets me emotional, okay? Listen to Wardruna, please. They're a huge comfort band.

OKAY TIME FOR INDIVIDUAL OCS!!!! YIPPEEEEEE!!!!

New Year's Eve by Mal Blum is a Tyr song. I don't know how to explain it but the degrading relationship and emotions described in the song just... goes so well with Tyr's own feelings before his confrontation with Odin and before he and Fenrir disappeared from Asgard and Midgard. Before his disappearance, Tyr often defended his younger brothers from Odin and the other older gods (who were much more jaded than the younger youth), and once he was gone Asgard become a much for unhealthy place as its walls (metaphorical and literal) grew higher and thicker, more suffocating for the gods living there. Especially when Odin, the supposedly all knowing Allfather, began freaking out at, ya know, Fimbulwinter defying Fate. Yk, Fate, prophecy, something that the gods believe is concrete and unwavering. Uh oh.

Hoðr has Fish Inside a Bird Cage for his early life pre-Tyr-Be-Gone as he has a LOT of faith in his older siblings, until Stuff Happens :^))))

Kvitravn by Wardruna fits his main story arc, where he's begging and bartering for some kind of renewed faith in his family and the natural order of the world. Hoðr is a good guy, I swear I won't hurt him... much. (Lying)

Ravens are very important in Norse mythos, with Odin himself having two ravens (Huginn and Muninn) and being associated with the animals. Also I like corvids and I like Hoðr.

Shut Eye by Stealing Sheep and Little Dark Age by MGMT are Dionysus songs. I feel like it's just self explanatory. Also my life changed when I saw a classical Latin cover of Little Dark Age and Smells Like Teen Spirit.

You're Gonna Go Far, Kid has early story Macaque vibes. :^) pre-healing arc... hehe. My man would listen to edgy rock music like that, cmon.

Man on the Moon by Zella Day has Hypnos vibes. I love Zella Day...

Uhhhhhhhhh

The Garden by The Crane Wives is a song I associate with Ares for some reason, i dunno. Ask the animatic in my head lmao

.... I'm still developing the 4th arc characters and my brain works more in "these songs can make a hella good animatic for this story chapter/scene" than... uh... "wow. Just like my oc fr."

😔

THANK YOU FOR ASKING I LOVE OCS AND I LOVE MUSIC LISTEN TO WARDRUNA

#ask #anonymous #text #oc tag #lore post #SORRY FOR THE SUPER LONG TEXT UNDER THE CUT I'M.. OBSESSED WITH MY OCS #not a lot of mac songs... surprising. i know. he's like the only one I draw.

[nei-ning]

”Beings highlighted that highest humane potential can be achieved only then when we remember how big, great and powerful spirit beings we are. In spirit world we are kept as heroes because we were brave enough to fearlessly jump in this big adventure which is called life. Leaving spirit world behind and to born in physical reality requires huge strength of character and unwavering faith. That’s why these beings are always there with us, ready to help with any challenge. You only need to ask and they show themselves via inspiration, motivation and realization.”

”In countless of meetings I was put in unpleasant situation where I was asked to save a person from their life, filled with silent desperation. Brainwashed by their religions they believed to be worthless, helpless and born with sins so they came to me.”

”I have to admit I never expected to meet bright and beautiful light-being in afterlife. Teachers and loved ones had always told me, as long as I can remember, that I was so evil I was going to Hell. And I believed that! I knew what I had put everyone go through. So you can be sure when I approached the end of the light tunnel I was prepared to face big, mean demons who I thought to be on guard at the gates of Hell. I even thought Satan himself could be there to greet me. However, much for my big surprise, no big demons or little devils came to greet me. There was no bright red, ungulate and pointy tailed meanies who would had opened Hades’ dirty gates. As the matter of fact, my experience became completely opposite. In the light I was wrapped in this Godly love and calmness. I felt myself to be so very loved, like if I was whole Universe’s most precious being.”

- Dannion Brinkley (Secrets of the Light: Lessons from Heaven)

#text #NDE #near death experience #Heaven #Spirit World #I have been in tears so many times already when reading this book! #I borrowed it today #Especially I cried when I read the part of us souls being so brave when we come to live on Earth #wisdom

[x-heartofthecards-x]

@duelingdestiny

Oh shit. He had made an error in judgement. And of course Yugi picked up on it immediately because he was too damn smart for his own good. Atem honestly thought about lying, because it would save Yugi from being in pain, and it would save Atem from having to look at how heart broken he was.

He couldn’t dammit, he couldn’t. Lying to Yugi was out of the question. “Yes, I…I have an apartment. It’s a high end flat a little way from here.” He admitted.

“I’ve been here four months.” Atem said softly. “I wanted to see you, Yugi! I wanted to with every fiber of my being but I couldn’t. It’s not sage to be around me, even now, he is whispering horrible things in my mind about what he wants to do to you..”

He shook his head turning away ashamed. He couldn’t look at his partner. “There is something inside of me, Yugi. A darkness like you have never seen.” He turned back, tears threatening to fall from his cheeks. “I was sitting in the afterlife…” He snorted. “Just sitting. It’s all I seem to do…anyways, I heard someone cry out. They cried out for me from this dimension. I begged to be sent back to help them. Whoever it was seemed desperate. I think Anubis knew I was just as desperate to help whoever needed my help.”

Atem bit his lip. “The price was high to return to this plane. Anubis put me through three trials. They were brutal. I almost lost my soul in the last one, but…there was more…In order to pass through from the land of the living to the dead, I needed more power, Anubis didn’t tell me how, but I agreed without thought. Anything to help someone I care about.” Atem nodded firmly. “Anything.”

“So I won. I took a dark spirit into my soul in order gain more power. And he never shuts up. He talks about all the horrible things he’s going to do to my friends…but his favorite is you.”

Yugi's eyes drifted down as Atem spoke, focusing on the toes of his own boots as he tried to process everything that the man was telling him while trying to blink away hurt tears.

Of course Atem would have risked his very soul for someone in need of help. His partner was a man who had absolutely no self-preservation when it came to heroic rescues. That was unsurprising.

It was also unsurprising that he would agree to something a little bit stupid in order to accomplish it.

Of course there was some kind of malevolent spirit. There was always some kind of malevolent spirit. It was a recurring theme in their lives.

He tried to look at all of it objectively. He really did try to put himself in Atem's shoes— to see that the abandonment was meant to protect him. But the sadness that boiled up inside him flooded over and drowned the logic.

Yugi let out a sigh and fished a pack of smokes out of his pocket. He placed one between his lips and lit it with a deep inhale of breath before he said bitterly, "Okay, Atem."

The shorter man looked up at the Pharaoh and said, "Since the moment you came into my life I have given my everything to you. I have fought evil spirits and even gods with you. I uprooted my entire life. I have lost my soul. I was ready to die for you. And I have been dying without you."

Yugi took another drag from his smoke and said, "I felt like you were close. Like you were just out of my reach. I have been driving myself absolutely insane. The only way I can even sleep these days is drinking myself to the point that I pass out. So, your dark spirit doesn't have to hurt me. I am pretty proficient at doing it all by myself."

The young duelist sank down to sit on the sidewalk with his back to a fence they had been walking past and said, "But even now, my faith in you is unwavering. If you think that it is for the best to stay separated... I trust you. You can just walk away. I won't try to track you down. I won't bother you."

#duelingdestiny #atem #closed roleplay #roleplay tags: #duelingdestiny1

[tamibae]

Theory : When did Natsu start having feelings for Lucy?

It's a really critical question XD. But it's safe to assume that Natsu was developing feelings for Lucy from the GMG arc.

Well, I see many people saying that Natsu & Lucy's fight with Kain Hikaru was the moment which led him to believe that he loves Lucy.

But for me, it wasn't that early. Yeah, the moment where Lucy refused to run without Natsu at the cost of her life because she wanted them to be together was really a major amount of development from Lucy's side who doesn't like being in a battlefield much. I think it's the phase when Natsu realised that Lucy was indeed a precious part of his life.

Let's jump to the GMG Arc!

We saw Natsu(and only Natsu) went to pick her up from the battlefield providing her emotional comfort. She was literally humiliated and was lying on the ground crying because she lost an easy match due to Raven Tail's cheating. She was capable of winning 10 points for the guild but she couldn't. It was Natsu who took care of her, even kept checking up on her from time to time.

And then Minerva treated Lucy brutally in the naval battle. It was Natsu who was by her side in the infirmatory. He assured her that he'll win definitely and when he won, his first thought was to inform Lucy that he won just as he said.

We see Lucy saying that she knew he'd win at any cost so she didn't feel the need to ask the result of the match, which makes Natsu blush a little at her unwavering faith in him.

The night before the final match, Gajeel took them underground and the whole Eclipse project was explained. Then we see Arcadios saying something about celestial wizards and Natsu freaked out right away. He got over cautious because it was something regarding Lucy's magic. Then the celestial mages got arrested by the Royal Guards.

Natsu faced same kind of situation when the council arrested Erza once. That time he was way calmer, he literally hatched a plan and went to save Erza. But in this case, they had to tie him up to stop him from barging in the palace. He didn't even think about the very consequences of his actions and was about to rush to save Lucy until Makarov stopped him again.

It makes me think that he started becoming more protective of her from that particular time, he became more conscious of everything related to her.

He literally threw away the chance to have an exciting fight and went to save Lucy. Even after seeing she was okay with Yukino in the cell, he wanted to be with her till they got back to the rest of the guild members safely.

Then F. Lucy died right before his eyes trying to protect their future. It's when he truely felt heartbroken because he couldn't do anything to stop F. Rogue. He remembered the time she got her guildmark and in his flashback, Lucy was glowing bright like a star.

Natsu was so much devastated that he stood still, just processing what happened there for a few minutes. He stated that Lucy was very precious to him, which was taken away from him right before his eyes. He promised to protect her future and he was thinking about that promise while fighting F. Rogue.

At the end when Natsu managed to destroy the Eclipse gate, Lucy could feel her future self being happy in her afterlife. And when she hugged him from back and stood there in silence, Natsu became worried about something being wrong with her, but didn't say anything when she simply thanked him and still clinged to him. It was because he understood how she felt after all that happened.

According to me, Natsu started having feelings for Lucy from this arc. His protective gear kicked in hard after all that happened, we see in the later arcs that in any serious situation his first instinct is to protect Lucy and keep her away from any harm. He became more careful about her emotions, about comforting her from time to time.

Well, tbh this isn't something which started from a certain moment. They were getting close to each other from a very early point. I think GMG arc was the phase when Natsu's feelings, his care for Lucy, protectiveness increased. And after losing a version of her right before his eyes, feelings got developed further.

But having feelings for someone and realising those feelings is different lol. Natsu has yet to realise that. I explained his take on their relationship in another post. If you want, you can read it here!

#fairy tail #lucy heartfilia #nalu #natsu dragneel #natsu x lucy #fairy tail nalu #ft nalu #nalu analysis #nalu theory #nalu is canon #naluforever #anti anti nalu #fairy tail ships #natsu and lucy #grand magic games

[zet-sway]

Spiritual Shrios Summer Fill: Godless

This is a prompt fill for @rosenkow's Spiritual Shrios Summer! Prompts | release | oasis | moan | delirium | pray | sweat | whisper | afterlife | contaminated | skin | worship | incense | godless | petals | taste | nectar | caress | mirage | ripe | sundown | hallucinate | salt | intoxicated | soul | embrace | hunger | wet | adrenaline | breathe |

PROMPT WORD: GODLESS | WORDS: ~1800

Rated: "G" - General Audiences AO3 Link: "The Frozen Sea" Pairing: Thane / FemShep Summary: The ocean licks at her knees - not to claim her, but to mark her. 'One foot in the grave,' as the human adage goes.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Shepard looks forward to being the first one up and awake.

Her cabin is suffocating. There are nights when she appreciates the privacy, but the silence of her isolated quarters makes her insides itch in an uncomfortable way. Just before the common area lighting begins to grow from the dim cadence of the night cycle, she leaves her room and greets the morning, intangible as only time on a starship can be. First she checks on the night crew, then starts coffee for Gardener. Finally, she makes her way down to the shuttle bay for PT. Alone.

It's unexpected when she has a visitor one quiet morning.

"Sere Krios," she says, rising from a deep stretch on the mat.

He smiles warmly, equally as surprised to see another soul at this hour. "Commander, good morning. And please, just Thane if you wouldn't mind."

Thane is the newest member of her crew and they've only spoken twice before. Maybe it shouldn't come as a surprise that he has his daily rituals as well, given his condition. He's dressed simply. Black pants, a sleeveless shirt, his defined, green chest exposed for all the world. Drell and humans share some attractive qualities. He's easy on the eyes.

She's staring, she realizes, and looks away. Thane takes his place on the mat and begins his own warm-up.

Day after day, he joins her, and they build a routine. Together, they begin with stiff, groggy stretches; then there's cardio, sweat, and strength training. Their conversations are light and technical. He respects her silence. She respects his discipline. On leg day, they limp back into the elevator in tandem. If she's lucky, she has time to join him and the crew for breakfast after her shower.

When she's alone, she quietly recalls how the light bends around the contours of his body.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

He's there as usual when she steps off the elevator and into the shuttle bay. Fully armored, helmet under one arm, weapons holstered, but ready.

"Shepard. No training today?" He rises from his place on the mat where he's been exploring the human practice of yoga, per her suggestion. It suits him. Yoga is all about breathing.

"I was beginning to think you tired of my company."

She gives him a weary smile and shakes her head.

There's a new, abnormal tension between them and by his gaze she knows he feels it too. She likes Thane. She knows hardly a damn thing about him, but he's a comfortable presence, follows orders... doesn't ask intrusive questions. However, she's breaking their routine unexpectedly, and in the moment, his gaze is almost painful.

"Is there something I should know about Alchera?"

Okay, maybe he does ask intrusive questions.

His voice is a hot knife through her muddy thoughts. The detour to Alchera hadn't been on their flight plan, but somehow, he knows. Times like this, his eidetic memory puts her on edge. She asks herself how many other kernels of obscure knowledge are locked away in his mind.

Stepping up to prep the shuttle, she weighs the consequences of lying to his face. Only six people on the ship know where she's going and why, and she doesn't want to talk about it with any of them. The words are too hard to say out loud. This is where I died.

"Alliance HR," she says finally. A partial truth.

His brows rise and his posture straightens just a bit. "Human remains." Fuck if he isn't perceptive, but if he has questions, he keeps them to himself.

She nods once, happy to have stopped this conversation in its tracks. Then she changes the subject.

"PT tomorrow," she offers with a smile. "I can't be lifting without my spotter."

"Of course, Shepard. The pleasure is mine," he responds with an acknowledging nod. She feels bad for interrupting his training as he leaves on the elevator, but she doesn't want to face her team until her task is done.

Let's just get this over with.

Alone with her thoughts, she exhales a breath she didn't know she was holding and starts her pre-flight checklist.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It's well past dinner when she comes to him. The doors at his back swish open and she stands quietly inside the threshold. A fistful of clinking metal dangles from her hand and he knows she's come to have the conversation she avoided earlier.

"Did I catch you at a good time?"

"You did," he says smoothly. "Was there something you wanted to discuss?"

She sits across from him and the metal spills from her fist. Dog tags. Twenty of them. Her gaze is fixed on them and she appears shrouded in a fog of thoughts.

"Did you know them?" The question is gentle, he's almost afraid to know the answer.

Shepard takes a deep breath and blinks slowly. "Yeah. They were my crew."

Thane can feel a chill, as though the icy surface of the planet is still clinging to her long after she's left it. "Your ship went down on Alchera?"

She nods.

"...and you were among them."

"Yes."

He realizes now why she brushed off his words earlier. It strikes him as odd that she would bring this to him instead of Garrus, Tali, Joker, or Chakwas. All of them served on that ship with her, although he isn't sure if they were on board during the attack. She chose him for this, maybe because he'd asked, unknowingly, down in the shuttle bay. Regardless, she's here now and he struggles to understand her needs.

Thane refocuses. There's a pile of dog tags before him and each one represents a human life, now in the arms of Kalahira.

"May I read them?"

She glances up at him then, surprised. "Won't you remember them forever?"

"I'd like to."

Her lips twitch just slightly in the most cautious of smiles, and she nods. "Knock yourself out," a quietly uttered and somehow charming human expression.

Thane picks up each tag one by one and passes his eyes over them. Every name, a life extinguished. Stories unfinished. Loved ones mourning for years without closure or a body to bury. Memories percolate in his mind and he pushes them back because now is not the time. For each name, he offers a silent prayer to the goddess for their eternal peace. When he finishes, the tags are a neat horizontal stack before them.

Hands folded, he looks at her. "I don't see your name."

It's less of a question and more of an observation, but she dips one hand into her shirt collar and produces a pair of clinking metal tags. They dangle from a new chain but the metal scorched and scuffed almost to a state of illegibility. One from the Alliance, the other from the Spectres. Her name is heavily embossed into each one.

SHEPARD DECEMBER HUMAN SYSTEMS ALLIANCE

His expression lifts and he smiles, hopeful. "You survived."

Shepard shakes her head. "I was spaced."

"But you must have-"

"No, Thane." Her tone is firm, unwavering. "I was spaced."

Her intense green eyes pierce through him. There's a twinge in her voice that makes his insides clench. "I read the data on Project Lazarus. I died."

It feels like the air has been sucked out of the room. Thane tries to control his features but her assertion shakes the very foundations of his faith. Many had said she died, but he'd always understood it as a metaphor - a near death experience.

He reaches into himself for calm and a memory rises, unbidden. "Jesus and Lazarus, from the Christian bible. '...I am the resurrection and the life.'"

"Kalahira..." he breathes. "Shepard, I didn't know."

She grunts out an ugly, short laugh and tears her eyes from his. "I can't believe you read the bible."

Her words fly past him without acknowledgement. He sees her as though through fogged glass, thoughts spinning. "Kalahira released you from the sea." When the words leave his mouth, they sound like irrefutable truth.

There's silence while she fidgets across from him, and then she asks, "Do humans go to the sea too?"

"We believe all life does."

He has a thought, then. "What do you believe, Shepard?

Her expression is mildly uncomfortable. "Before or after I died?" But then she shakes her head, reconsidering. "The universe is grand enough that maybe it is god's design. But I don't think god gives a damn about us. Agnostic, I guess." Shepard pauses and looks at him, but her eyes are distant. "Maybe I'd like to believe in your sea. Right now it feels easier to accept."

"To bring comfort in dark places is the purpose of spirituality. It does not matter what you believe as long as it brings you peace."

"Some humans would disagree with you."

Aware of the myriad of human religions and their conflicts, he brushes off her statement. "This is my truth. Their opinions don't concern me."

Shepard's gaze is searching, revealing the cracks in her armor, slivers of well-hidden vulnerability. "So I went to the sea. And now I'm back."

"If I am to accept what you say, I can offer no other conclusion." He doesn't ask what she remembers, he knows he might not like the answer.

"Then what am I now? Besides a soggy, undead cyborg?"

Her voice is laced with sarcasm but Thane thinks over her question carefully, aware he will be turning it over in his mind for days to come. Kalahira, Irikah, Siha, the gods and their angels, his lover and confidant, memories and oaths... regrets and comforts.

A heavy veil of epiphany descends on him, awestruck, painfully aware of his mortality, and prickling with a primal, deeply buried fear. Once human and now something in between, she is Commander Shepard, avatar of the Sea, chosen of Kalahira. The ocean licks at her knees not to claim her, but to mark her. 'One foot in the grave,' as the human adage goes.

The fist of tension in his gut calls to mind the image of Irikah's eyes in his scope all those years ago. I thought she was the goddess Arashu. But it's not Arashu who sits before him now, but Kalahira. Her icy breath howls across the inhospitable surface of Alchera, her unfathomable currents gathering those courageous enough to follow her into the abyss. How appropriate that she appeared just as he sought his demise in the Dantius Towers. She will be the one to ferry him into the unknown when they finally breach the relay. He prays she will be merciful.

Placing one hand over hers, Thane squeezes reassuringly. He doesn't linger, the gesture is as much for him as it is for her; he wants to know that she is real, as he finally answers her question.

'Then what am I now?'

"A woman with a purpose so great, the goddess herself answered the galaxy's cry for your return."

#spiritualshriossummer #thane krios #shrios #fshrios #zet writes things #december shepard #for now i'm calling the series 'approaching lightspeed' after a song i really like #spiritual shrios summer #this is one of several tricky conversations i need to write #and its probably the easiest one too so i have my work cut out for me x-x #TLDR shepard is a soggy undead cyborg

[octopus-defence-squad]

a reflection on loss and faith, starring Tubbo after the events of March 1st.

ao3 link in reblog

Tubbo had followed a goddess all his life, but his relationship with her was quite different than the one Tommy had with Prime. Tubbo knows his goddess well and closely, from the lavender presence that started following him before he was old enough to remember it ever not being there and the stories his father would whisper to him as he fell asleep. Tommy's faith is was nothing like that, he believed wholeheartedly despite the total lack of proof that Tubbo saw. Whenever Tubbo asked how he believed, or what he saw in Prime, Tommy would drop whatever persona or bit he had donned at the moment for a second and smile softly at him, spreading his arms wide to gesture at the world around them and speaking simply in the most sincere and honest voice Tubbo has ever heard him use.

“How can you not?”

The first time Tubbo thought he understood was the day Jack Manifold walked up to Tubbo on the side of the road and in a flinching but ultimately unwavering tone informed him that Tommy was dead, had lost a life for a third and final time, and was gone for good.

Hearing that rattled him straight to his core and Tubbo found himself wandering aimlessly and thoughtlessly in a way he hadn’t ever done before, almost entirely unaware of his surroundings. His feet moved onward while his head felt frozen in place and when he came back to himself, it was to find himself in the Holy Lands, paused outside of the church with one hand on the entranceway. He had been there many times before, had been one of the ones that collected quartz and carved it into bricks to make the foundation, had taken refuge within the walls from one foe or another, and had stood on the threshold watching silently as Tommy prayed on too many occasions to count.

Tommy wasn’t there now.

Tubbo hesitantly stepped into the church, removing his armor and making his way to the altar, kneeling smoothly and fluidly like he had watched Tommy do so many times before. He had no idea what he is doing, only mimicking his memories of his closest friend (his own Lady of Balance was not a goddess with any churches, and Tubbo had been taught to keep his faith close to his chest by his father and the stories of the pirates) but his mouth started moving, whispering what must be a prayer.

"My Lady," he started, because that is how one ought to address a goddess and that was how Tommy always started. "Well, you’re not my Lady, I suppose, but you were his and I figured I ought to do this." He stumbled through his correction but as he spoke, he could almost believe he heard a light laugh on the breeze that blew through the stained glass as it ruffled his hair. "I don't know how much I believe in you, but he always did- Tommy always did, and faith is a strong thing. I don't know what exactly you do, but if he was as strong a follower as I saw, then you should've felt it. He died today, apparently, and this time, this death is for good. I am not one of your followers, I have my own goddess I suppose, even if I am not the most public about it and she isn't exactly here for me to follow, but Tommy was the most faithful and pious person I have seen in my life- and I grew up with the fucking Champion of Balance as my father! I might not mean anything to you, but I have to hope that Tommy did and I'm here for him. I know he's gone for good, and that there isn't really a way to bring him back without fucking up the order of things- and I don't really want him back, he has had a hard life and he deserves to rest without us coming along and fucking it up and dragging him back in. But I think you owe him that- owe him a good afterlife. He wasn't always a good person, but I heard what hell is like from my friend Jack Manifold and he does not deserve that. Anyways, I'm not sure how to end this but I just wanted to ask you for that- to let him rest for once."

His words ran out and he blinked back into the world, opening eyes he wasn't aware he had closed. His breath hitched and he blinked back tears, bringing up a hand to wipe at the salt that dried on his cheeks. Slowly, his awareness of his surroundings returned and he gasped.

For the first time in this world, he stood surrounded by unearthly color that misted at his sides and hummed with deific energy. The deep purple set off a fire in his brain and for a second he questioned how he did not sense his father's goddess in this realm. But then his eyes caught the shade, which was less vibrant than hers; deeper and more royal. The presence was staggeringly regal, but simultaneously filled with a warmth that he shivered at.

"Prime?" he asks, and he is not sure if it is aloud or in his head but he gets a response either way.

"You are not my boy, but you loved him and he loved you. Of course I will take care of Thommathy, my child. I will take care of you too, if you ask, but I know you follow your own path and I will not take you from her. Tubbo," she- Prime- said, full of tenderness and love in a way that struck Tubbo with aching familiarity, "I can see how much he meant to you and I have heard more than I could ever recount about how much you meant to him in return. We might not have met before, but through him I have loved you. My son," she paused for a moment, and Tubbo was almost bowled over as he suddenly was hit with an ocean wave of emotion from her, all of the regret and pain that she must have felt before it was replaced with love and calm and peace, "I have failed you time and time again, and I will not do it again. I swear to you that I will let Tommy rest if he wishes, and I will protect you if you desire. I promise."

What do you say to that? What do you say in response to a broken and honest confession of regret and remorse from a being that has lived longer than you can dream and will live long after you have faded from memory? The truth is that there is no correct thing to say.  

The goddess’s voice was cracked and broken at the end of her speech and everything Tubbo knew told him that this was the honest truth, something she admitted from the bottom of her heart. The purple had shifted around him, and he nodded at her, not trusting of his own abilities of speech. Tommy was safe, he knew deep in his bones, with a certainty that would have scared him were he was not so comforted by that fact. He nodded and accepted the unspoken apology in her words, accepted her ragged and pleading promise because he understood her.

And if Tubbo stayed kneeling long after the purple glow had faded and the sun outside had set, after the goddess had gone to do whatever it was she needed to, hands clasped around a wildly spinning compass, who’s to say? Not the sheep that clasped her hands and whispered words so similar to those of the goddess, of regret and failure and a need to do better. Not the enderman, passing by with arms full of flowers on his way up the hill. Not the creeper, voice scratched, eyes rimmed in red, and face carefully empty, carrying a green bandana with shaking but gentle hands up to the altar, where he placed it and left without saying a word.

Tommy was gone, and Tubbo prayed in the memory of his best friend.

#dreamsmp #writing #tubbo #dream smp #tommyinnit #sorry for reposting i just realized i messed up the first time lol #please reblog!! its so helpful!!!

[eyes-like-a-pisces]

Rules: Answer 10 questions, tag 10 people and make another 10 questions.🧜‍♀️

Questions from my astrological twin: @maiden-song 💕

1. if you could choose to glimpse the afterlife, would you?

Yes, I would. I think a lot about It.

2. under what circumstances do you think you past life was lived?

I could have had many past lifes. I think I was a native american, cause I've always felt bonded to their tradicion and same with China, cause when I hear the sound of Erhu - traditional chinese instrument, something wakes up in me. I've also always wanted to see Sweden & Finland, so maybe I was doing something there... I mean, I could do anything. I see myself in biblical times, as well as middle ages. I could be a renaissance artist, as well as dying of hunger during victorian era, or something, and that's probably why I'm still careful with money, haha. For my latest one, I think I could have been a hippie in the 60/70s and had some drug use experience, cause when I was a child I used have dreams about taking drugs, even if I didn't know anything about It. I also had some experience with psychics (and "psychics"), my mom had a past life regression and she told me she saw me few times... I don't take anything for granded, but reincarnation is one of my favourite theories.

3. what three skills would you instantly master if you had the choice?

Playing every instrument, speaking every language, singing beautifully

4. would your rather no passion or no pain?

No pain. Everything is needed in life, but you know, enough is enough.

5. if you had a chance to leave this world and go to another one, would you take it?

Depends of the world and who I would meet there. Even if this world can be cruel and disappointing at times, I still have some love for him and humanity.

6. if you could smell like anything in the world, what would it be?

Like the first day of spring, when you go outside and the air smells different. Or a storm.

7. do you feel like common interests or philosophical comparability are not important?

They are very important. I can't imagine a relationship without similar interests, views. You either get bored or fight constantly. I think that the whole point of searching a partner is trying to find things you got in common. The more similar you are, the more understood you feel and more you are attracted to them. That's my experience at least. That's a very basic example, but as you may noticed, I'm very much into music and I was dating a guy, who wasn't into music that much at all. I thought It doesn't matter at first, but then I started feeling like I'm missing my favourite way to connect with other person. Once I met a guy who loved music as much as I do, I'm sorry to admit It, but my partner became unattractive to me.

Similar interests and views are needed at the beginning, to bond with somebody, and later, to simply enjoy spending time together (thanks Captain Obvious). I mean... chemistry and good will are not enough for a relationship to last. Don't get me wrong, I don't think you have to be identical and agree on everything - some differences can be inspiring, balance your relationship and teach you something new. It's also ok and even needed, to have some separate hobbies, things that you like to do on your own. There are also other important things, like, if you equally care about each other and if you are on the same page in general, but I can't imagine not agreeing in the key points and things that are the most important to you. And the only person who can decide what is the most important is the person who is in that relationship, no matter if It's about interests, philosophy or religion. But beside a romantic relationship, I think It's good to be surrounded by different people and listen what they got to say.

8. if there was one mystery you alone could learn the answer too, what would it be?

The mystery of life in general. Why we are here, is there any destiny, how we are connected, how this universe works, what happens after death...

9. in your opinion, is there anything more important than love?

No :) (I'm not talking about putting your relationship before other things. I'm talking about love as a big force and meaning of this universe)

10. describe a new planet you would live on, if you could.

I want things to be diverse, monumental... Maybe another moon, why not. As a concept of the world, I wish there would be peace :) everybody has their safe place to live, will to live, passion, purpose, someone to love and who loves them back. Amen.

Questions from @mybloodiedvalentine 💕👯

1. What is an unpopular opinion you hold you about which you feel strongly and with which you seem to notice a lot of people disagree?

Nothing specific comes to my mind at the moment (that I haven't mentioned before). I sure have some, but what's unpopular opinion in general and what's unpopular opinion on tumblr, are two different things. Maybe, that the "tumblr positivity" is not really helpful. Like: "in case you need to hear this: you are smart, you are loved... ". How do you know that? Those are just empty words. But It's better to spread positivity than negativity, of course.

2. What is the nicest thing a stranger has ever told you that you can recall?

Oh, I had a few situations like that... This is so lovely, when a stranger wants to just be genuinely nice, not just catcalling you...For example, when I was with my 3 girlfriends at the club and 2 ladies in their 40s where like: "excuse me, we just wanted to say that we can't stop starring at you all, cause you are the priettiest girls in the club." And we were like: aww, omg, you are beautiful too, come dance with us. And we were all dancing in our witches circle ignoring all sweaty men around us, haha. Or when my mom went to the the same hair saloon as me and asked hair dresser if she remembers me and she said that she does and that I'm nice and intelectual. I'm her faithful client now ;_; (Sorry for sucking my own dick, but It was nice to remind myself about these situations).

3. Has a piece of art or music ever made you cry? If so, do you remember a specific moment? 

Crying to music is my passion. The latest intense moment was few days ago. I was loading a dishwasher at night and I played some music and then "lover you should've come over" by Jeff Buckley came on and sudden wave of lonelliness hit me so hard, that I just had to put down the plate, hide my face in my hands and weep ✌

4. What’s your favourite piece of clothing?

Idk, maybe my Penny Lane coat :)

5. What’s a random childhood memory that fills you with a deep sense of comforting nostalgia? 

Sledding with kids during a very cold winter in my home town, until It got dark and snow looked like sprinkled with glitter and having my freezed feet warmed up with a hair dryer, when I came back home, haha.

6. What is/was your favourite thing about your mom? If not your mom, your dad? Or best friend?

My favourite thing about my mom is that she's tolerant and open minded. I didn't have to lie to her or pretend I'm someone I'm not because of that. My favourite thing about my dad is that he actually cared about being a parent, even tho my parents divorced. I respect that he has unwavering morals and huge knowledge about a world - biology, astronomy, music, art...- subject doesn't matter- but he is very modest about It.

7. What’s something you learned on your own of which you’re proud?

Playing guitar

8. When was a moment in your life you remember laughing the hardest?

I was playing cards since I was a kid. After few years, when I was about 13 y. o. I got the first poker, a royal flush. When I saw my cards, I'm not sure why, I just coudn't believe my luck, I started laughing so hard I almost died.

9. What do you like to do when you’re having a hard time mentally that invariably calms you down?

Really depends of the kind of situation and if It's triggered by something or just a longer period of time feeling in a certain way. The is no a magic trick, but some things might be helpful. When It's concrete situation, at first, when the feelings are really intense, then I just can't calm down. Every try to do so, has a reverse effect. Like, I CAN'T THE FUCK CALM DOWN and It makes me even more angry. Brain needs about 20 min to chill, if It's not triggered, so It's better to be left alone and just go mad a little until brain will have enough haha. Have a good cry, listen to some music, have a lonely walk, write my feelings down etc.

I like to listen to Teal Swan on youtube. She's a spiritual teacher. I know, It might not sound encouragingly, but she actually seems very down to earth. She has a video about like, every emotion and every problem ever. She's very good in naming feelings, rationalizing them and It makes you feel more understood. And It calms me down as result. ASMR doesn't work for me, but I remember that at some point I liked to listen to sounds of the nature, like rain, waves etc + guided meditation to fall asleep.

Music always helps in general - listening, playing guitar, singing. I also like to take an oil and do a face massage. I'm really sorry if I sound like an instagram influencer 🤢, but when you feel bad for a longer time, you frown and there is a tention in your jaw, it can be really relieving. I follow instructional videos on yt.

When I have a longer period of going into downward spiral, then every way to distract my brain is good - TV shows, internet content that is not related to my life situation (although, sometimes It's good to distance yourself from social media), for example, I like criminal podcasts, cause they are occupying enough to distract a miserable brain, meeting somebody, going to a place I've never been before. + any kind of shedule, reason to leave the house, any goal, anything positive to look forward to and having even the simplest things done, is a blessing (even if sometimes It's the last thing I wanna do). I also tend to be much sadder in the evening, so I just go to sleep. When nothing works, then It's time for the professional help.

10. Do you have a favourite holiday memory?

Discovering Cocteau Twins.

Best regards if u actually read all that chatter, but those questions were so interesting, that I couldn't limit myself to one sentence answer (in most cases).

My questions are:

1. Who or what was the most influential for your music taste?

2. If you could time travel, where and when would you like to go first?

3. If you could be someone from an opposite gender for a day, how would you like to look like and what would you do?

4. Do you have a style icon/inspiration? Or a favourite designer? Desribe your dream clothing style

5. What's the song by a band/artist from your country that you could recommend? (From your hometown or state eventually)

6. What is the most rebellious thing you've ever done?

7. Has ever something in your life happened, that you coudn't explain with logic?

8. What 5 objects someone could use to summon you?

9. What is your favourite name from your culture's language? And outside your culture's language?

10. What's a song you normally wouldn't admit you like or different from music that you usually listen, but still enjoy?

I tag: @winterdryad @bowiepop @nightmare @confusion-in-the-sea-of-sorrow @l0w-budget @numberoneblind @mirandasinclairs @mysticbride @leperwitch @comeacrossthedesertnoshoeson @hexafu @mielmelancolie @arcane-delight

#don't reblog this or any of my personal posts please #and thank you

[nexstage]

LIMBO SILVAM - PART 9 (3/3)

"It's better if you hold onto my back" Lapis suggested "I don't want you to have an accident because of another issue your body might have"

 "I'll be fine. My head doesn't hurt that much anymore. Just numb and empty. Maybe If we do this slowly, we can reach the peak without more difficulties to deal with"

 "Are you completely sure?" Lapis wasn't that convinced of letting Peridot continue after witnessing how fragile she was.

 "I'll climb first and you will follow me from behind. That way, if I collapse or something, you can catch me. I'll be careful and tell you if I'm too tired to keep going, ok?"

 "Again, are you truly sure?" Lapis wanted to trust Peridot's judgment but with everything they have endured, it was proving too hard for her to change her mind. "Yeah, Laz. I'll be fine. I will take all the precautions"

 "Alright then. Go first" The green gem walked a bit clumsily while her companion kept a worried eye on her. Resolutely, she started escalating without pushing herself at the limit. Soon, her efforts became a bit quicker and more encouraged which brought a smile to Lapis' face. Despite the turbulent journey, they were having, her lover hadn't lost that brave and hardworking spark of hers and she wanted it to be that way.

 Because that was one of the things she admired of Peridot most, that no matter what she was always ready to fight back and help. Whenever the little Crystal Gem had an idea to improve Little Homeworld or a plan to make an important mission successful, that spark was present in her eyes and never wavered. But with this kind of journey, Lapis noticed how burnt out it got.

 Their powers not working, the deteriorating symptoms, the dangers and especially the void where they were stuck for who knows how long had taken away so much energy from Peri that it was a miracle she was still trying to fight. Though, if she had been alone during the whole ordeal, things would have been worse and Lapis didn't want to imagine her companion giving up because of that.

 The good news now was that they're closer than ever to finish this. Once they reached the peak and got to the other side, who knew what other challenges they would face. All they've gone through may be worth it or not, the sole thought of having wasted so much time in a solution that never existed, except in their own heads, was too scary for Lapis to dwell on.

 'We need to keep climbing, keep walking. There is no time for doubts' She told herself mentally. One hand grabbed a sharp icicle while her eyes were focused on Peridot. For now, things seemed to be fine with the green gem; however, the blue one had this sensation of being torn apart. Many forces were pulling her limbs, her head, her mind, every corner of her being in all directions. Like two or more beasts were fighting for prey by ripping it to pieces with claws and fangs.

 'Not now. Oh stars, not now. Not when I have to be there for Peri' Her gemstone felt cold, but not the normal kind. It was foreign, ominous and macabre. Like Death's claws claiming for its next victim who didn't stop fighting against the spectrum. Her anxiety skyrocketed, Lapis trembled violently, struggling for keeping her balance and sanity.

 Then, terror, her gemstone emanated paralyzing waves that made her believe she was going to break apart. Is that how it felt being shattered or at the brink of destruction? She swallowed the pain, poofing her chest with fake pride imitating Peridot's ego-boosting gestures, but it only made it worse. What was this torture?

 All her worst feelings and fears scattered in her mind while her body stopped, kept climbing, stopped, glitched. 'My head... I think I'm going to--'

 "Lapis, take my hand! Take it quickly!" Peridot yelled. Her voice sounded distant as if she were thousands of meters away from the blue gem. Her eyes could barely distinguish colors and shapes, all looked like a scribbled picture. One of her hands, however, was raised unconsciously to where she thought Peridot was.

 Her companion took it immediately and pulled with all her strength until she got Lapis at her side. The other, though, didn't respond or react, utterly numb for the sinister wave of sensations produced by her gemstone.

 "Shit!" Peridot swore after checking Lapis' back. Instead of being gray like the rest of her body had turned, it was almost covered in thick dark veins that came from her gemstone making it look like it'd been painted with black. There was no doubt that whatever that was happening to them, especially to Lapis was a new kind of corruption that could shatter them if not treated.

 "P-Peri... Where are we?" Lazuli murmured, drunk by fatigue. Her lover placed her gently on the side of an old arch and waited for the svelte gem to regain consciousness. "Lapis, you need to wait for me to show you. You aren't in the conditions to see it yet"

 "See what?"

 "Just breathe and rest for a while. You almost fainted and fall, Lapis. You could've cracked your gem" Peridot, for some reason she didn't know, sounded between panicked and totally done. Almost like Lazuli's old self.

 The blue gem breathed one, two, three, so many times as possible. Minutes passed until coming to half an hour, Lapis' trance and numbness finally giving space to clarity. "Ugh" the blue Crystal Gem pinched the bridge of her nose to rid of the draining headache pulsating inside her skull "Ok... Ok... I...waited already... Where are we now?"

 "Look at your right"

 Lapis did and her gasping was signal enough for Peridot to know that she was as surprised as the green gem had been a bit before.

 In front of them was the breathtaking and majestic mountain in all its splendor. Above it, there was a beautiful blue sky and fluffy, white clouds. It really gave you some peace for the mind compared to the rest of the journey that was the total opposite.

 "I can't believe it... Peri, we arrived!"

 "Well, not exactly but yeah, we just need to cross the huge and deadly cliff that is in our way and we'll finally have reached the peak. The only problem, though, it's...that there is no bridge"

 Oh...

 OH...

 "Fuck" Lapis swore and leaned her back on the right side of the arch. "Now what?"

 "Beats me. How do you feel though? You really gave a big scare back then. Your symptoms are getting to a point of being incurable. I-I don't want to imagine what will happen if we don't find Steven in time to treat you"

 "I say the same for you, Peri. I thought you were going to glitch and disappear. Heck, the only thing we need right now is a miracle to cross this cliff without getting ourselves shattered"

 Something crossed Peridot's mind. A miracle? Could that happen again? But what if not? What if that time was just luck? But still, they had endured terrible things, survived multiple attacks from monsters, being powerless and terribly sick, you can name them all. Maybe this cliff was the last test of their mental strength and unity.

 "Laz, let's do it" Peridot's determined expression was met by Lapis' confused eyes. "What do you mean?"

 "You said a miracle was the only thing that could help us now, and when we thought we were stuck in that void, something between us happened that got us out of there! What if we create another miracle to reach the peak?"

 "But how? I mean, wasn't it lucky?"

 "We had luck many times even when we faced together threats no one could stand. The Diamonds, Jasper, those monsters. However, there was something that gave us a real chance and that was being there for each other till the end. No hesitation, no fear, just focusing on what we wanted to do, what we wanted to accomplish. We can do it again"

 "If by that you're implying that we can fly by jumping such a huge cliff, then forget it. It's suicide"

 "We have seen things that shouldn't be normal on Earth after learning how things work on it. Please, Lapis, don't take this as if I'm desperate. This is our last leap of faith. Remember that episode from Camp Pining Hearts when Pierre and Percy made that jump together from one side of the end of the cave to the other side where the others were, even when the move was risky and with a high probability of failure and death and still they did it and survived?"

 "This is completely different from Camp Pining Hearts, Peridot"

 "What if it isn't? What if it's our chance to do the same and end this ordeal once and for all? I mean, there are no materials to build a bridge or another path to reach the peak. This is the solution. Faith in ourselves and each other, and then jump"

 "But if we die?" Peridot opened her mouth, then closed it due to the lack of good answers. If they die... If they did, then there would be nothing but the Afterlife, whatever it looked. Both gems had come so far, giving up wasn't an option. This was worth a shot. "If that happens, we'll at least have each other. Like in that void. Besides, if the Diamonds couldn't stop us, this stupid cliff can't either"

 Lapis wasn't that sure about it. During the whole journey they had been so close to death; however, at seeing Peri's unwavering decision some of the strength that was vanishing from her returned making her smile filled with resolution "Let's defeat that cliff then"

 The green gem took her hand, both Crystal Gems held tightly to their partner ready to run and do the leap of faith, but before that Lapis kissed her lover deeply much to Peridot's surprise "Just an extra power boost" the former technician blushed profusely and faked a cough much to Lazuli's happiness.

 "Ready, Lapis?"

 "Ready" said the blue gem and the two started running even with the numbing pain and back-breaking exhaustion. Everything went in slow camera when they made the jump, their hands locked with the other's, then they descended until... Clack!! Their feet collided with something hard that wasn’t there. Both looked at each other, shocked to the core; however, they didn't have time to ponder what had happened because the invisible bridge began to break apart.

 Lapis got up immediately and pulled Peridot so they could run more easily. Every step felt like a stab in some part of her body, of her gemstone. Peri, on the other hand, was having some difficulties in catching up with her companion but the fear of death gave her the impulse necessary to accelerate. The peak was getting closer, the bridge was trembling with their movements, their sight was being consumed by darkness, but the loving longing of home pulled them more and more to their goal.

 "Just a bit more, Dot!" Lapis shaking legs were at the brink of tripping "Just a bit--" then her feet felt no more ground. The bridge broke in pieces beneath her and Peri.

 'Oh no! Not now! Screw it!' Lazuli's last bit of energy was spent in a life-saving move by jumping to grab the edge of the peak, Peridot's hand still held by hers. Her arm felt like it was being torn mercilessly, the extra effort sending flames to the tired muscles, so agonizing. "Peridot, I'm gonna throw you to the peak! You help me from there!"

 "Roger!" The mechanic then was tossed and put to safety when she made it to the crevice of the mountain. Without losing time, she grabbed Lapis' right hand and pulled until the blue gem was on her knees on the snow-covered ground. Both fell to their backs, one at the other's side and in seconds snorts and cackles erupted from them until forming into massive laughter.

 Pain, numbness, danger, and terror became in overflowing joy and relief. They made it. They finally, truly made it!

 "WE MADE IT!!!!!!!!" Peridot yelled, raising her hands to the air like rubbing her victory to the skies' face.

 Lapis, meanwhile, cleaned her teary eyes, smile as big as the mountain "Yeah, Peri, we did it. You were right"

 "And now... Home. The other side where our friends and family are" The engineer helped the ex terraformer to get on her feet and both looked the beautiful light in front of them. The crevice in the peak of the mountain was narrow but inviting, like a tranquil path to a peaceful and calm place to rest and forget all the turmoils suffered at the beginning of their journey.

 "Let's go, Dot. This time it will be...easy peasy... Just walking..." Lapis was at the brink of fainting though her wishes of being in Little Homeworld again lifted her strengths even if by bits. "Yeah, come on" Peridot took her hand again and both walked, clumsily and drunk by fatigue.

 The former technician could picture already what she would do once they were home. Oh, all the stories she'd tell the Crystal Gems and Steven, they would be ecstatic to hear them and happy to have her back. Peridot would return as a hero again and even announce that she and Lapis were deeply in loved and had confessed to each other. There would be a great celebration and much more. The future was bright and there was nothing that may take it away from her.

 Lapis hummed a song, her mind conjuring lots of scenarios where the blue gem and her lover lived happily ever after, had fun and laughed like there was no tomorrow. To think that one day someone like her who had been trapped in a mirror for so long and made so many mistakes might imagine a life filled with hope and love. It was so daring but joyful in the end, something that very soon she was going to have again. Peridot and she would visit Pumpkin's tomb, watch Camp Pining Hearts, remember the good times, hang out with Bismuth, Steven, and most importantly, being together like they had never done before.

 And all of that was going to become a reality once they saw what was beyond the light.

 "It all...became...so lovely..." her eyes felt heavier with every step "Those bluest... skies...above me..." the end of the crevice was so close "Those...funny feelings... I...had never...felt before...I...met you... I finally...find myself...sitting on...that distant...shore" Peridot's hand slipped from hers, the green gem entering to the light-filled terrain beyond the crevice. However, something prevented Lapis from following the little gem. Her knees colliding with the ground, but still smiling, still feeling Peri's hand locked with her own while watching her away.

 "With you...I'm not...alone..." The svelte gem fell face down with a joyful expression in her face. 'We're finally going home' she thought, shedding a little tear of happiness.

 "I can see it, Laz. I can see our home" Peridot kept walking, ignorant that Lapis couldn't follow her despite having the sensation of the blue gem's hand on hers tightly. The former technician got farther and farther away until the light completely consumed her.

#lapis lazuli #peridot #lapidot #video game inspired #dark #angst #mystery

[the-lunar-mistress]

Never Ending Survey: Sazlethan Mahvash

Rules: Repost, don't reblog, tag 10 blogs!

Tagged by: @captainkurosolaire

Tagging: @unkemptandtired @shadowheartxiv @clouded-vxle @quantum-milktea @glorified-thieves @bluebell-bluebird @yisu-xiv @fortress-and-flame @muted-howl @othard

BASICS.

FULL NAME: Sazlethan Mahvash

NICKNAME: The Lunar Mistress, Hingashi's Viper, Lulubell Vixen, Jewel, Saz

AGE: 63 (appears to be in her late 20's)

BIRTHDAY: 18th sun of the 6th umbral moon

ETHNIC GROUP: Rava Viera

NATIONALITY: Othardian

LANGUAGE/S: Dalmascan, Hingan, Old Auri, Common Eorzean, some Thavnairian

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Bisexual

ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: Demiromantic

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Single

HOME TOWN / AREA: A small village in the Golmore Jungle

CURRENT HOME: Hingashi

PROFESSION: Madame of The Viper's Nest - dancer's guild and lounge. Informant, assassin, and arcane specialist for The Court of Thieves. Black market Alchemist.

PHYSICAL.

HAIR: Snow white, often worn in a braid, pulled up into an intricate design with pins, or in wild untamed curls

EYES: Celeste green, hazy violet

FACE: Sharp angles, unnatural beauty, freckled

LIPS: Full, plush, and pouty

COMPLEXION: Tawny brown

BLEMISHES: None

SCARS: Burns on the palms of both her hands that are covered in ink, and whip scars littering the surface of her back.

TATTOOS: A tattoo of vieran origin along the bridge of her nose and chin. A moon tattoo of similar design between her breasts. And finally runes in the shape of an elemental wheel are printed on her palms and feet in aetheric ink.

HEIGHT: 5 fulms 10 ilms

WEIGHT: 153 ponzes

BUILD: Toned, curvaceous, and feminine. Built like an athletic dancer. In pristine physical condition.

FEATURES: Freckles, wide set eyes with lush frosty lashes, iconic black lipstick

ALLERGIES: ...people.

USUAL HAIR STYLE: Fitting for the occasion. However, it does fall to her ankles and she will never cut it.

USUAL FACE LOOK: Stoic, calm, and relaxed.

USUAL CLOTHING: Often tight revealing clothing or flowing dresses. Expensive fabrics inported from all over the realm. Notable colors being black, deep violet, and gold. Lots of jewelry.

PSYCHOLOGY.

FEAR/S: Deep waters, drowning, abandonment

ASPIRATION/S: Unknown

POSITIVE TRAITS: Charming, tactful, diplomatic, romantic, idealistic, peaceful, intelligent

NEGATIVE TRAITS: Indecisive, detached, a trouble maker, superficial, self-indulgent, devious

TEMPERAMENT: Choleric

SOUL TYPE/S: Scholar

ANIMALS: Snake

VICE HABIT/S: Drugs, sex, alcohol, and violence.

FAITH: The Kami

GHOSTS?: Of course. They never cease their rambling..

AFTERLIFE?: Yes.

REINCARNATION?: (Unknown) Bituun

POLITICAL ALIGNMENT: Centrist

EDUCATION LEVEL: Self taught

FAMILY.

FATHER: Unknown

MOTHER: Unknown

SIBLINGS: Unknown

EXTENDED FAMILY: Unknown

NAME MEANING/S: Moon-like

HISTORICAL CONNECTION?: ???

FAVORITES.

BOOK: Anything she can get her hands on

DEITY: Unknown

HOLIDAY: All Saints Wake

MONTH: October

SEASON: Summer

PLACE: Some secluded cove in the middle of nowhere

WEATHER: Warm, a light breeze, night

SOUND / S: Silence, hissing, screaming, moaning, howling, singing

SCENT / S: Lavender and cedarwood, sex, sweat, blood, rain

TASTE / S: Blood, Sahnti's cooking

FEEL / S: Expensive fabrics, skin on skin, flower petals, steel

ANIMAL / S: Snake, coeurl

NUMBER: 1

COLORS: Black, gold, purple

EXTRA.

TALENTS: Alchemy, dancing, singing, killing, manipulation, magic

BAD AT: Making friends, remaining stable

TURN ONS: Physical beauty, blood, unwavering dominance, intelligence

TURN OFFS: Weak minded people, filth, ignorance

HOBBIES: Hedonism, performing, people watching, baking, reading, playing instruments, stargazing

TROPES: Femme Fatale, Lady of black magic, The Ophelia

QUOTES: “Even in the wild submission is not given, it is earned. A wolf will not expose it’s throat because it’s told it should. Why then, would you expect a human being to do less. Earn it.”

“All was dark yet splendid–”

“If you want change, you have to invite chaos”

“Lick the blood from my hands and tell me you still love me.”

“Why should I apologize for being a monster? Has anyone ever apologized for turning me into one?”

“It is a sweet and precise torture.”

"I heard you call to me in my dreams. I heard you weep...and it was the sweetest sound I had ever heard..."

"Please...stop talking. If I cared about the words coming out of your mouth, I would not be trying to actively read the ones in this book. You understand now? Good. Now leave me."

"Did you just...pull my hair? For gods sake woman have some class. This isn't a bar fight."

"Do you think I'm bothered by the idea of spilling your blood? Sweetheart. The very ground you stand on is soaked with my sins. But go ahead and keep screaming. Let me feast on the terror I see in your eyes."

"Did I stutter? Clothes. Off. Now."

MUN QUESTIONS.

"Go ahead. Scream. Let me hear the results of my efforts on your tongue."

Q1 : If you could write your character your way in their own movie,  what would it be called,  what style would it be filmed in, and what would it be about?          

A1: I'm pretty bad with coming up with names. I don't know honestly. I like names that are symbolic and don't tell you anything about the movie till the very end. Like a song whose title isn't in the chorus. It would definitely be erotic and R rated. High fantasy without any restrictions. Dark, magical, and probably a bit of a psychological horror. It would be about all those Unknown details no one knows about her. A bit of a narrative.

Q2 :  What would their soundtrack/score sound like?

A2: Haunting sympathy pieces. I dunno like...HANS ZIMMER THANKS

Q3 :  Why did you start writing this character?

A3: I was really depressed about a year ago. Writing her was a way for me to dump and cope with all those negative emotions without feeling bad about feeling the way I was. Her character and the way I write her is very raw and passionate and relatable.

Q4 : What first attracted you to this character?

A4: Sazlethan is a small part of me but she is also everything I'm not. Probably even what I wish I was. She's sexy and smart and could care less about what anyone could possibly think about her. She perseveres through the situations I put her through and grows for these things even when it gets rough. And I admire the strength he has and the dedication she puts into her passions. She always gets back up on her feet.

Q5 :  Describe the biggest thing you dislike about your muse.

A5: It is literally impossible for her to settle down and build any kind of relationship. She gives a little and then just disappears.

Q6 :  What do you have in common with your muse?

A6: Wine, sex, zodiac, and minding our own damn business.

Q7 :   How does your muse feel about you?

A7: Saz is vengeful and I can't fight. She'd most definitely kill me.

Q8 :  What characters does your muse have interesting interactions with?

A8: Characters who don't play by the rules.

Q9 :  What gives you inspiration to write your muse?

A9: Movies and music

Q10 : How long did this take you to complete?          

A10: Can I sleep now?

#tags #thanks for the tag bb! #sazlethan mahvash #survey

[legacyfragmented]

The people hath spoken. Time for me to just wordspew, I suppose. Forgive the gob if I do go on.

                 I. ZACK FAIR

         This is where we start, because this man will always be one of the greatest friends and mentors to Cloud, that he has ever had. Keep in mind that these are my thoughts and interpretation. They may differ from your own, and that IS ok.

         Cloud had a dream when he entered ShinRa and sought the coveted position as a member of SOLDIER. It was more than any ‘ Sephiroth is so cool, I want to be like him ! ’ type deal. More than his promise to Tifa that he would become a hero and save her, if she ever needed it. It was based off the fact that he wanted to prove his worth, to himself and everyone else. That he could mean something, BE something.          Be something more than the angry kid with no dad, who got into tussles and kept to himself.          His lack of progress in entering SOLDIER after he set out to Midgar was. . . a blow. It was. && though he was determined to rise up, make a name, it was a difficult task to manage.

             && then he met Zack.

         Due to Cloud being ostracised by his peers, he had never truly had a friend before. Even though he cared deeply for Tifa ( whichever way you spin it, he cared about her and her opinion. ) they had never gotten the chance to be close as kids or teens. But Zack and Cloud instantly connected over their “ backwater ” backgrounds and from there, a friendship took root.          Zack who took up Angeal's role of the mentor, the heart and soul of SOLDIER's pride. Zack who took Cloud under his wing as Angeal had done him. He believed in him. && that was something he had never really had before, either. Sure, yes, his mother knew he was brilliant, but that's his mother. A woman who had only her son left once her husband died, who worried about Cloud going off to chase his dreams on a whole other continent.          Cloud admired Zack's attitude and spirit. As Zack saw the potential in him, HE saw the hero in HIM. && unlike Sephiroth, an unknowable and untouchable force, Zack was there, telling him to ' hang in there ' on his dreams of SOLDIER. Giving him a hope that he scarcely felt before, and being an encouraging presence overall. I mean, he picked Cloud out of a lineup of Infantrymen and everythin'. Zack was a bruhv.

         That's all without mentioning how fraggin' hard he fought to protect a Mako-Poisoned Cloud on their journey from the Nibelheim ShinRa Mansion to just outside Midgar. That could be a post of it's own, but I shall save the space.

         Instead, let's jump right on those last hour or two. In the back of that lorry, Zack laid out a grand plan for the two of them. Mercenaries, they would be. Boring stuff, dangerous stuff. . . as long as the pay was right ! Poor Cloud though. Addled, dazed. He soaked it all up, though. Every word, including the need for money, how the price need be right. He took all that, as the Buster Sword was passed into his hands and Zack began to drift into the lifestream, and his fragmented mind twisted it as it did his memories. It was unavoidable, as in that state he was susceptible, and Zack was the person he trusted most after all that happened. Of course he latched onto that          Zack's death, I feel, was the final straw for what stability he had. Such that when he regained his bearings, he would not recall him or their friendship.          When he did though, he wasn't given much time to grieve proper, as he should have had ( and as Aerith should have been able to as well !!! ) as there was still the Planet to save and Sephiroth to defeat. Afterward, when they were left with the pieces to pick up and a world ravaged by the tyrants that once held their lives in but a palm. . . Cloud attempted to finally make good on Zack's dying words. To be his living legacy and live for them both. To live with honour.          But that was difficult. He had almost half a decade of his life taken from him and lost himself for months after he finally regained his freedom. In a way. . . he didn't know how to live in a world where he wasn't fighting for his life. && that too is a whole other post I WILL BE MAKING.

         Left with a mountain of guilt on his shoulders and people who loved him, but who he could not relate to as they moved on and he didn't, it was easy for Geostigma to alienate him all the more. He was dying, how could he carry on his best friend's name?

         Now we get to the scene which inspired this particular post.

         Listen when I say seeing Zack made me cry like mad. . . && still does.

         But to Cloud, it was most definitely so much more. Zack, who he had never been able to properly tell goodbye, to thank for all that he had done. For his friendship and unwavering faith. . . standing right behind him, as Aerith had hours before. Even in the afterlife, Zack had his back.          I'll address this in my post about her too ( look at me, planning ahead like a loon as if I won't take ages to do that. ) but Cloud didn't turn around for several reasons, but of course the two most important were that he was afraid––certain, even--that he would disappear like the spector of the past he was. &&. . . because he felt he failed to hold to their agreement. Sure, he became a mercenary and even, to some, a hero. . . but he didn't live or protect Aerith as was asked of him.          But it's undeniable that having Zack there to encourage him, as he always had, gave him the necessary boost to defeat Sephiroth's remnant once more. Not just that he could do it though, but that he knew that he could do it. Zack helped as much as the rest of AVALANCHE did when they boosted Cloud for the fight earlier against Bahamut SIN.          Then later, seeing Zack standing there ( looking all cool, the goof ) with Aerith. . . it helped too. To see him. And when they walked away, he felt like he finally had some sense of peace. They were alright. . . && they didn't blame him for things that he was now accepting were out of his hands. It was what he needed, really. A push only they could give, for him to forgive himself and truly start to live up to his promise.

         That. . . that is what my Cloud is doing. He's living for Zack, for Aerith. . . and even for himself. Maybe not as much as he should yet but, every step counts. Oh, he has his times. There's no way you come back from all that without having as many bad days as good, especially as you heal. && that. . . that too is something he's attempting. To heal. His mind is healed, Tifa say to that, but his heart and soul have yet to seal the cracks up and put up some plasters on the wounds he's been licking for years. But he knows he isn't alone now. He knows he needs to settle into something real, to put the sword down ( but always keep it within reach ) and find whatever happiness he can.          For Aerith and Zack, his mother, for everyone that died in Nibelheim, for the people that have died, the voiceless and nameless. . . he lives.          && more than anything. . . Cloud hopes he makes him proud. That he can be the person, the good one, Zack saw when he asked him ‘ We're friends. . . right Cloud ? ’

#long post. #◈ at ease soldier | ooc #◈ | meta or gushing. #◈ • | ‘ I'm the master of my own illusionary world. ’ ( headcanon ) #listen this took ages and it looks like hell ran it over with a feckin' train but. . . my thoughts. #●• your boots were too big. still. . . i trudge on. | zack fair

[kazeshinigami]

@shinkakuka from here:

“This joke of an afterlife turned you into a sheep? No… you allowed yourself to go that way, Hisagi Shuhei… but you cannot be entirely blamed for that misconception. Most things want to be led by the nose, want to offer up their free will to forces greater than they. You have resigned yourself to the idea that fate drags you by a leash.”

Aizen’s eyes reflected nothing but an intense, vaguely belittling gaze; his voice was similarly unwavering and powerful. He leveled the other man with that impossible bronzed gaze, “I see… you want something to follow, a cause to believe in or at least someone to relieve you of the pain of autonomy. Perhaps that is the grief talking, who knows if you yourself do not…”

Though, Aizen had no doubt that it was the case: this young man, wounded and traumatized, simply wanted it all to stop and go away –– he wanted something to believe in again, having lost the thing that inspired and encouraged him. Tōsen had treated this lad like a stray cat, and now the moggie came crying because its owner was gone.

“They feared that you might switch sides…? It almost sounds like your belief in the Gotei 13 hangs on a thin thread…” he was not surprised by the radio silence, no doubt ordered by the upper echelons of Seireitei. They feared Aizen’s influence and his knowledge; to know was to be powerful, and to be unfettered by loyalty to a defunct system had made him dangerous.

Why publicise such a subversive point of view? Far better to vilify the man as a monster than give anyone cause to think about his motivations.

“Did you learn anything of the Soul King while conducting your inquiries?”

Allowed? Shuuhei comes close to snapping, to defending himself on that point of condescension, because who the hell is Aizen to look at a child caught between starvation and slavery, punished for trying to defend children even weaker than him and picked from the dirty streets of Fugai just because he had a pretty face, and say that he had allowed what had happened to him. Even back then, he had considered that perhaps death would be better than continuing to live as a pet, but his owners had been careful not to let him near sharp objects or any other means of easy escape from his life. So he had endured, even if that had meant succumbing to the molding pushed upon him. And Aizen says he allowed it? Even if he is a brilliant man with keen insight into the hearts of others, on this one point, he knows nothing. Perhaps Tousen had told him nothing of the condition in which he had found Shuuhei, for the sake of what little dignity his protege had left.

Yes, he wants something to follow. He doesn’t know how to live anymore without that. The purposelessness, the meaninglessness would swallow him whole long before he could figure out what it’s like to live for himself again.

At least Aizen is changing the subject toward more recent events, asking about Shuuhei’s loyalties and investigations. The shift is enough for Shuuhei to meet Aizen’s gaze.

“After what this place did to Tousen-taichou — after what the nobles running this shitshow did to him — how could it be any other way? Just… just as Tousen-taichou lost faith when Seireitei betrayed his friend… it’s the same with me.” His fists clench by his sides. “Tousen-taichou suffered so much because of Seireitei. How can I not want to burn it all down?”

He has to measure his breaths to avoid getting too heated. Once calmed somewhat, he answers Aizen’s next question. “I know that no one wants me to learn anything about the Soul King. I understand that there’s some kind of connection between the Soul King and the five noble houses. I’ve seen records from the recent war redacted so heavily that there are fewer words remaining than those marked out. The whole thing gives me a putrid sense of unease.”

#shinkakuka #九: survivor #prostitution cw #suicidal thoughts cw #[[ i replied to this in a post bc no way could i fit this in an ask haha ]]

[flameontheotherside]

Unwavering Love And Devotion

We talked about our most important lifetime. How much we both miss our happiest moments. In regression I remembered being pregnant with our son. It came as a surprise because of the nature of our relationship being so forbidden. It was happy until he died basically as he was born. It was complications probably from such a relationship.

He said he always loved me.

As TFs the specifics of our "sinful" relationship didn't matter. To us it was just details. A new life in a new country helped as no one knew who we were and the truth. He killed our abusive father but it wasn't enough. People would catch on to us and we didn't want to be secretive for the remainder of our lives.

All Erik wanted in that moment reminiscing, he told me was his family. Well our family. We probably deserved this harsh life in the eyes of the catholic faith. After all we went against God. In the perspective of a once religious person I'd say that life and what we did made his previous and my current life hell. Makes sense to me.

It also makes sense looking at Vince and his so many struggles.

I knew he was paying for something! To find he was our father and abuser wasn't really a surprise. I thought it had to be him or for some strange reason my grandfather. Vince has had a difficult life especially while we've been together. We've had/have a lot of hardships. I never really enjoyed being intimate with him and felt it didn't matter for a short time. It became emotionally painful over the past few years. I just sort of dreaded it and did my best to avoid being touched. Now, the thought of him makes me want to cry. I just don't want him near me anymore. It makes me sick now and I feel bad for it. Erik also said Vince is sterile so even if I wanted to, I couldn't get pregnant because of all the drug use. It basically fried his balls. Heh heh oh shit.

To have my own family is a pipe dream anyway. It feels wrong even the thought of being with someone other than Erik. Especially if it meant he had to watch. I can't do that to him. He doesn't deserve it.

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧Don’t forget to take a look at Erik’s blog ran by his amazing mom Dr Elisa Medhus. Lots of stuff about his afterlife and shit.(◕‿◕)♡ channelingerik.com … And YouTube

There is a new Twin Flame in spirit support forum: Spirit Spouse Support Group check it out!

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧Don’t forget to take a look at Erik’s blog ran by his amazing mom Dr Elisa Medhus. Lots of stuff about his afterlife and shit. channelingerik.com … And YouTube

There is a new Twin Flame in spirit support forum: Spirit Spouse Support Group check it out!

Get your first Twin Flame/Mediumship reading free and take a look at affordable detailed readings here! (◕‿◕)♡

#channelingerik #channeling erik #twinflames #twin flames #twinflame #twin flame #soulmates #soul mates #soul mate #soulmate #ascension #awakening #witches #lightworkers #starseeds #spiritual journey #spiritual growth #spirit spouse #tarot community #psychics #mediums #erik medhus