#but ill stop here for now

[inkskinned]

something bad happened to you, and you died, and you came back wrong.

not wrong all the way. the little ways. you forget important dates, stopped going out with friends. it's harder to make you smile. you're apathetic towards things you used to love, afraid of places you used to go to cheer up. quieter. flinching. different.

you came back for love. you're still here for love. what pulled you back was a brightness so loud that even death couldn't outshout it. death heard the call and smiled at you and said okay. go home. somebody is waiting for you.

but you came back different. like lot's wife; you've turned into salt. you used to chirp through life in hops and skips; but now you lose skin just standing up. you have to move slower, skimming across this world without-touching-it. most things feel dull - until they're suddenly all-too-much. life, and being alive just rushes up and over you and you get hopelessly crushed.

you try to explain it to them: it is ugly, but this is what you are, now. the huge golden hoop of your halo now a little bronze ring. you are still watering your plants and wearing the same clothes. after all, you worked hard to come home. this life; so odd and off-color, now that you are wrong.

but they waited for you - it's just that they wanted the "you" that happened before this. the "you" that could sing in the show and hug people tight and look at a blade without breaking down to cry. the you with a smile in pictures. god, holyshit, it's like looking at a completely different person, isn't it. that other-you; the one they actually wanted.

you are the consolation prize. you are the body that forgot the ghost. you are the memory of the bad thing, and the death after; like you are wearing that memory as a banner. you are a fragment, an assembly. simulacrum. you don't make eye contact in mirrors, afraid the light will glance off and your true nature will flash back at you.

you hear them talk about it in their hushed, desperate whispers. sometimes they even admit it to your face; harsh and violent, acid thrown at christmas dinner. god, can you just fucking be normal again. you do not remember what normal is. you had to climb so far to get back here; you are far too exhausted. you want to open the glass door of your heart and show all the gears. can you help resolve whatever got messed up?

you try so, so hard. you came back for them. because you believed they would love you, even when you were so horribly broken. because you believed they would be patient. because you believed unconditional meant "without exception." you cannot do things the same way. you just get tired too quickly these days.

you want to put them on a couch and pour them the tea with hands that shake more than they remember. you want to line them up and draw them a map of where you have had to wander. you want to show every bruise in a backsplash; the little helpless ant of your soul carrying all that weight, over and over. you want to say: yes! it is different! but i did it for love!

you want to say: "i'm not the same, but i'm yours and i'm here. can that be enough?"

#this is very obviously about my battle with #ptsd #but i think it's also like a pretty apt metaphor for a lot of things like setting boundaries or going to therapy or choosing recovery #i was thinking about the 'comes back wrong' trope and i was like. oh no i have feelings about this bc i have mental illness #and once i stopped masking - i was WRONG. i was different #here's the good news: i am now INNUNDATED with love. fucking swimming in it. excelling at it. the people who stayed #learned my new self. my new different body and how i am different but i am trying. they have held me so tightly #and my life no longer feels quiet. it is not based in my suffering. it feels like i have been growing a tree in my chest #and now it is flowering. #it is so lovely to be surrounded by people who have said - oh! you cut off so many branches i was worried you weren't the same. but now... #... this is just a new you. and i love you. and i love that you're different and happy. #(but yeah also im nb so i was absolutely influenced by Trans things)

[u3pxx]

can i show you guys an old oc of mine her name is reina (she/he) and he is a retired villain and also he loves her superhero wife a lot

#butch woman save me ... butch woman pl #i dont really make ocs bc i get bored making stories of my own (thats really sad i know dfghdj) but i do LOVEEE designing characters #she used to be a boy oc but now i just transed her gender god bless ASKSKS #the thing was he's like this robotics expert supervillian whatever #and her wife (rosie) is the superhero who always tries to stop her #i never really knew what their story would be about bc i was just here for the character concepts lollll #i also drew rosie with this one but i wasnt satisfied with how her design looks :^( #ill share her here if i redesign her in a way that i think looks good in the future asksksk <3 #sunnysidedraws #den's ocs tag #described #id in alt text #ocs #original character

[moeblob]

What if I straight up didn't explain myself? What if I just said trust me on this? Would you?

#fe warriors three hopes #mercedes von martritz #miklan anschutz gautier #we really only need to clarify this is STRICTLY warriors miklan and i think ive already condemned myself but i accept it #i am very sorry but the person i usually would talk to about rare pairs has been a bit busy so i couldnt go to them to get it out that way #so art is the only way i have you have to understand its not my fault (its my fault) #did you guys know i reset the azure gleam map three times before googling the chapter where he dies to try and save him #no i dont think he deserves to be pardoned for what hes done but i liked that w3h gave him a small chance to be better FOR HIMSELF #no i dont think he should simply be forgiven for everything he did but i do like that he was given humanity and how #he was still not a good guy but damn you guys i think about that npc sometimes #who says that they admired him becoming something despite being a criminal bc if miklan can do it whats stopping them from being better ? #like that npc stuck with me a while ok #just ......... there are a lot of thoughts here that i dont think many of you care to read even in tags so ill stop now #i will say the canvas is saved as speed run to cancellation lesgo

[haunted-xander]

Started this months ago but procrastinated hard bc I didn't want to draw backgrounds </3

#there was another page to this but i had to cut it out bc of image limit </3 #anyway. finding out how to express urself through clothes is a part of every teenagers life and i imagine itd be particularly hard for ryne #given the Identity Issues shes had for so long #gaias gonna help tho. shes good at this stuff. ryne just isnt sure what she wants yet #also ik ryne has accepted the oracle of light title #when theyre discussing the oracle of light stuff here its more like. the duty thats been associated with it for so long #and the memories of the minfilias in-between ryne & the OG minfilia #like its not 'the oracle of light ryne' now its 'ryne the oracle of light' yk #like her identity as the oracle is secondary to her own personal identity #her role as the oracke is not what defines her. it is a part of her but its not what she IS yk. does that make sense #anyway. enough rambling ill never stop if i continue #ryne waters #gaia #rynegaia #gaiaryne #not necessarily but I SAY SO SO IT IS #final fantasy #final fantasy 14 #final fantasy xiv #ff14 #ffxiv #art #my art #xanders art #digital art #fan art #xander being insane about ryne #as always

[lavenoon]

He's been waiting for a chance to use that line himself

@naffeclipse everything in my brain is bounty hunter, even the self care

*self insert Aster is not a girl (he/she) *og detective au by sunnys-aesthetic

#post let luce #dcamv #bloodstain fool #menace4menace #my art #ive been having a time #creation juice has been running low but this has been on my mind for two days now #now excuse me ill be whisked away for rest time #everything is too many spoons #imma stop here before this turns into an accidental vent oop #wheres my bounty hunter to be selfish for me idk how to do prioritize myself

[thestipguy]

jusr realized i forgot to tag south park in my last post haha ooooopps

#stan marsh #stan x pip #pip x stan #sp stip #stip #south park #damien thorn #talk about peak wing man #pip pirrip #pip pirrup #sp stan #sp pip #is there a thing as too many hashtags here #ill stop now

[lovesickeros]

☆ the dove

{☆} characters tsaritsa {☆} notes cult au, imposter au, drabble, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings violence, blood {☆} word count 0.7k

Her hands are weapons, forged in a tragedy as much as a war of ash and blood that seeps into the earth and rots it from within. To them, however, she is salvation. Her hands are a kindness, not a threat. She sees it in their puffy, red eyes just brimming with tears, their fragile body so delicate and weak is still remains marred by wounds new and old – the gold still stains their skin, even long after it had been washed away.

She has seen it all – and she takes the injured dove beneath her wing with the sickly sweet promise that someday she shall mend its broken wings and teach it to fly again.

And in their stupor, they do not see her clip their wings.

It is for the best.

The wolves still salivate below the nest, waiting for her little dove to fall again – no, she shall not send her little bird to fly when it will just fall into their waiting maws once again.

This..this one is hers, she has decided.

Her little bird who dreams of the sky and the woman who clips their wings..what a tragic pair they must make, she thinks.

Not for her, of course. Yet not to them, either, unaware of the way she grounds them and keeps the key to their cage tightly in her fist.

"Tsaritsa?" The soft, meek lilt of the little bird draws her from her reverie, and she smiles – all teeth and little else, wolfish and predatory.

Yet the bird sees nothing but love in the sharp points of her canines.

As it was meant to be.

"Yes, little bird?"

She coos in honeyed tones, brushing her cold, cold hands against their skin, reveling in the way they shiver and shake beneath the ever present chill in her very bones. They do not fear the claws that ghost across their skin, and the smile they offer that illuminates their eyes like stars only proves her right – she wants to devour them whole. To see the stars in their eyes burn out beneath her teeth, their golden blood burn upon her tongue and down her throat.

"You promised to take me to the gardens today, remember?"

Her pearly, sharpened fangs peer out beneath her lips as she grins wider, unnerving to all but the little bird who sees not the wolf but the wool it wears, her hands finding their place upon their shoulders as she whispers into their ear.

She will guide her little bird where they cannot go, where their clipped wings cannot take them.

She will give them that bittersweet taste of freedom and then watch them try to catch the stars..

Just to drag them back down to earth where they belong.

"Of course, Creator – I am a woman of my word, am I not?"

Such sickly sweet lies come to her with ease – she lies and she lies and they do not see past the woolen cloak of the wolf until its jaw has snapped around its throat and its blood has painted the world a shimmering gold.

She will delight in that, too.

"If I may be so bold, Creator, you have been distant lately..have you grown tired of me already?"

Her words were as sharp as a blade, yet as dull as a rock, as sweet as they were dangerous. Like watching a mouse trap luring in its prey, she would snap it shut as soon as the little bird strayed too close.

"No! No, that's not..you've just been busy lately, I didn't want to intrude."

They remind her so much of a rabbit in those moments, and she so badly wants to know what would happen if she just took a small, insignificant bite..yet she restrains herself with a far too wide smile, her jaw clenched so hard she almost thinks they will hear it creak.

"Intrude? You could ever hardly intrude, Creator – what is mine is yours. Though, perhaps I shall have to lock you in my room to ensure you compensate me for depriving me of your presence."

In just a few short words, she snares the rabbit – her little bird, her Creator. They will see nothing but the sickly sweet lure of her smile, letting out a pretty laugh of their own as they press closer, like a bird wandering into the open maw of the beast lying in wait.

"As long as it has a nice view, I suppose I won't mind."

They jest, but she does not. And oh, how easy it is to ensnare an unsuspecting prey.

"Of course, Creator – just for you."

It won't be long until her little bird returns to its gilded cage, now. Permanently.

It is better that way.

#sagau #genshin sagau #self aware genshin #genshin impact sagau #self aware genshin impact #fic tag #tsaritsa #imposter au #another absolutely normal tsaritsa post. this fic is kinda old i just forgor 2 post it um #hope shes so fucked up in game she makes dottore look like a saint its getting a little 2 nice around here #give me morally reprehensible women #also here 2 remind everyone im still tsaritsa ceo /j #carrying her 2 fans on my back fr /j #no one gets her like i do............ #the inherit tragedy of loving a woman who has rid herself of the ability to love........... #the tragedy of a woman who had only ever loved rejecting it now. even her people have fallen out of love with her #theres smth 2 be said abt cryo being the element of the archon of love but if i start talking abt her i wont stop #anyway she kisses women. girlkisser (canon) #shes so lesbian #anyway thats it thats the ted talk ill be back next monday /j

[modernbaseball]

Fighting off both the sickness and the fear, Frodo gripped Sam's hand.

Then as he stood, darkness about him and a blackness of despair and anger in his heart. it seemed to him that he saw a light: a light in his mind, almost unbearably bright at first, as a sun-ray to the eyes of one long hidden in a windowless pit. Then the light became colour: green, gold, silver, white.

#by FAR my favorite chapter in the two towers #well. maybe if i thought about it some more id change my mind but it feels like its my favorite #i ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. i liked making this piece it went thru a lot of changes and at times i was like omg this will be awesome #and now its like. well i wont be negative. now its finished so hooray #i fucking NEVER use color theres a folder of trial and error behind this one lol. lets say the hue changer helped me a lot here #ONE THING I DO STILL LIKE IS MY STING REDESIGN #sorry to be a hater but i dont love the movie sting i think it should be cuter. sorry. #ok ill stop. ill stop #lotr #lord of the rings #lord of the rings fanart #sam gamgee #frodo baggins #jellybeans #samfrodo #if youre on mobile zoom in to my sting handle. i think its pretty cool alright

[skitskatdacat63]

2023 Las Vegas Grand Prix - Qualifiying - Fernando Alonso

#half asleep making these istg #yayyyy p9? idk ig i expected him to do better #old man asleep at the wheel whats new 😴 #he was very quick w this interview i wonder if he was eager to get to bed #i certainly am rn #f1 #formula 1 #fernando alonso #2023 las vegas gp #(i wish i could atop feeling insecure abt my gifs. i do it for fun.) #(of course i want them to look somewhat good but i get a bit ill over it) #(there was somw drama on here at some point that made me want to completely stop posting then ngl) #(cause like what is the point if im not as good as others ig :/ this is kinda vague posting but it made me so uncomfortable) #(as i said. i do it for fun in quick time bcs yay jsut wanna post smth i found cute) #(but ever sincce that thing happened its just made me extremely self critical and insecure abt posting) #(idk why im saying this. kinda repressing the urge tk be like 'SRY THESE ARE TERRIBLE. YEAH.') #(i need to sleep. but i often feel like this literally every time i post now bcs some people get on their high horse and ruin people's fun) #(iykyk ig. its smth bothering me lately. but i hate to act so morose. but i still feel bad abt the quality sometimes. i guess.) #we do a little bit of f1

[inkskinned]

maybe i'm a bitch but if i hear you go out of your way to judge someone's weight, i immediately lose trust in you & will probably forever find you a little unbearable . yes also the little floating bar over my head will start reading [hostile]. this is natural and u caused it.

#IF you do the therapy to stop being an asshole and make a POINT of being like #''i used to be a jerk about this but now i'm not'' #..... we can reevaluate .... #btw i hope this doesn't need explanation and everyone can be normal on this post #and not be like #what if i am a DOCTOR and i was aSKED #like we all know what i'm referring to here #you're like in target and lizzo is playing in the background and they're like #DID YOU NOTICE THAT LIZZO IS FAT? #or ur on instagram and like some dude's comment is like #NICE ART BUT WHY ARENT YOU THIN #like .... okay we get it. we get it . go to sleep . go to therapy. bye. #ALSO BTW i am in recovery for an ED and im saying this AS someone with Brain Problems #pls do not clown on this and be like ''actually i'm allowed to be rude and judgemental'' #no u aren't. none of us are. having an ED is not a pass for being a fucking dick #it can make you ACT like a dick. that isn't something you should be proud of or seek to continue #hence.... therapy!!!!!!!! #i know it's kind of controversial to say it but frankly i don't believe in infantilizing mental illness #by being like ''oh they can't help themselves'' #bc that kind of thinking is .... unbelievably toxic lmafo #you might not be able to control your split-second thoughts/judgements #i have ocd i understand #but like. . . .. you know #we both know #this post is not about ''u blurted something u regret'' #this post is about. THAT GUY

[todayisafridaynight]

#rgg #ryu ga gotoku #yakuza series #ryu ga gotoku 7 #yakuza like a dragon #yakuza 7 #like a neko #masumi arakawa #ichiban kasuga #jo sawashiro #masato technically also here but. lol. he just a scribble #snap sketches #sorry everyone i literally rewrote the entirety of y7 in my brain to be warrior cats #and now i cant stop. mental illness real #i was just gonna do quick ara and ichis to warm up but then i couldnt stop #I FORCED myself to stop cause then i wouldve accidentally made a comic. with cats. kms !!!!!!!!! #anyway stop reading im gonna be a sicko #i just think the 'arakawa family' should be a group of rogue cats opposed to any proper clan cats #except yk. Clan Cats will go to them if they need a job done because theyre so Off The Radar #we're going to ignore ichi looking like brambleclaw like we just have to move on from that. his fur's naturally curly at least </3 #arakawa still legally has to get his hand/paw mutilated saving ichi. except its probably worse in this universe since It The Whole Paw #finger cutting isnt exactly a THING so he crushed it. whether it was by a car or rocks falling i havent decided yet #i just know Its Fucked Now. he can put it down for like A SECOND but he really can't do anything with it #it reminds me of my baby boy drew lol.. he broke his front legs before we adopted him #so now i just imagine arakawa has really good balance as a result #usually i make their cat breeds based off their hair length/style but arakawa legally had to be a maine coon to me #i always think of maine coons as being really elegant. plus that long fur makes me think of a big coat heuheu #Also Yeah x2 ichi still legally has to Almost die. and jo still has to drag him to Another rogue camp #i was gonna draw nanba cat too but.. i HAD to stop.. i cannot do this all day i have THINGS TO DO #i feel like instead of being a Particularly Large cat jo just has longer legs and a longer tail... lanky as hell still lol...

[mythtiide]

its new years and my drawing ability has just completely exploded .. but we ball anyways

#signalis #its just me and my ugly sketches against the world.. #anyways #remember when i said i was gonna draw the ‘intresting and peculiar’ tweet as falkeler #? #well now it exists #very low effort i just needed it down on paper it wouldnt stop haunting me #i do really like the way i drew falkes expression here #something that i struggle a lot with is drawing different expressions … i really need to work on that tbh #a disheveled looking falke #falke tonking two plushies of her and adler together #theyre kissing :D #dragon adler for the new year (cause its the year of the dragon) #and a knight falke who was supposed to go with the silly vibe of adlers onsie but just ended up being a real knight #LOL #IDK maybe ill make a fantsy au put of it who knows #anyways thays it for meow #myth.sketches #myth.art #suggestive

[steinwayandhissons]

lately ive been obsessed with the fact that when alex sings on stage, he can never keep his eyes open for more than a few seconds at a time, and even then they’re half-lidded

#alex turner #arctic monkeys #it’s like even after all these years and all the performances they’ve done and done again he still can’t bear to look at the crowd #how he always said he hated being the centre of attention and here he is at the pinnacle of his career at the height of scrutiny #it’s like there’s still a part of him that’s questioning his own fame and overwhelming superstardom #pretending like they’re still playing in intimate sheffield pubs and not to sold out stadium tours and festivals with tens of thousands #of fans #it feels like there’s a sort of celestial veil between him and his audience that also comes across in his stage antics #why seeing him perform live whether in person or on the screen feels sort of surreal and mystical #like the music comes first and he just follows wherever it goes #anyways im rambling ill stop now

[backbeatbugs]

my beatles now and then mv is done finally! i wasnt able to upload it straight to tumblr cuz its such a big video sorry D: hope you enjoy it :]

#i kinda. hate it AJFHJKSFJA ive starred at it too long i think #my video #ill probably upload a few more videos on here eventually ive got a few in my vault #its not a groundbreaking video i just wanted smth more sentimental to fit the song! thats all :D #i used the blank spaces to let the clips breathe btw its very intentional #anyone else think that ringos drumming at the beginning sound like a clock ticking? me too #ok time to stop rambling HERE IT IS GOODBYE forever... #the beatles #now and then #Youtube #mine

[axollungz]

can we pleeeease bring back this "NDRV3 r the kids of the surviving cast" au thing i'm such a sucker for it here are some of my personal headcanons

#danganronopa #ndrv3 #sondam #komahina #nagito komaeda #hajime hinata #my art #pls ask me more about this #i have an entire like tree for each of the kids and their relations #not featured here kaede is also a sondam kid and kiyos sister but i didnt draw her cuz im lazy and also i dont want ppl making creepy comme #taro is also kokichis brother #okay ill stop rambling in the tags now

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

helloooo my dearest darling listeners, i am back on my soapbox to regale you all with the marvelous things i witnessed/experienced on my Whimsical As Fuck™️ three hour drive today. not necessarily in order <3

some cute does with bigass floppy ears / very sweet waitress who called me "hon" and put the most tasty looking crepes on my table / a pair of hawks divebombing a golden eagle / a kite (the bird) / a flock of magpies / some GORGEOUS scenery / a rainbow / lovely rain sprinklings / MORE gorgeous scenery, i mean what the fuck / fields of purple/orange/red tipped bushes / a meadow of buttercup-yellow very tall grass, in which many picturesque trees stood / lots of fluffy, adorable, tasty cows / a large herd of likely-feral horses with a wonderful variety of patterns & colors / the fluffiest husky ever / the juxtaposition of cold wind through an open window + warm sunlight / the most stunning snow-coated mountain of whites and blues in the sun, wreathed in clouds / no seriously some really fucking Gorgeous scenery, i was near tears with some of it

#i am feeling. Better Than I Have In A While #you know! last night i was very unhappy that i would have to do this drive! #but after my 2 hour doze in the ihop parking lot #and a nice breakfast of crepes and tea w/ my book #i was feeling better and decided Fuck It. im gonna make myself enjoy this drive #im gonna take my goddamn time and really absorb my surroundings #by fuck i will stop at a rest stop and take a walk! and i did all of it! #life is actually worth it! glad to have continuous confirmation of that #its so nice to drive and actually see things #beautiful landscapes... wildlife... Geography... #instead of just Flat. Scrub. Brown. More Scrub. Dirt. Dead Scrub aka Tumbleweed. Boring Brown Hills. No Weather. #i can go outside the clouds are Full and the air is Fresh and birds are Singing and i am Alive #absolutely unprompted #i expect the feeling of realness to fade soon but i will enjoy it while it lasts! #and maybe if i feel it often enough it will outlast the disconnect! #now i think i am going to treat myself to a pork bun i just bought & get one of the nice beers from the garage #ive Earned It! #you all treat yourself to something you like as well. we have all earned it simply by existing! #you're here today! Yippee! indulge! #im feeling so fucking whimsical today... ill go work on setting up my extra monitor and figuring out how the fuck that works! #my mic has already arrived! i have hope that i will do a test stream Soon!