#but im either sleep deprived or falling into a dark space | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

liv-laugh-die · 3 years

Text

||Admiring|| 💖Miya Osamu x Gn!reader

trope: strangers meeting in the park (ik its random bear with me😭)

warnings: its not proofread all the way through (im sorry im tired), so theres probably grammatical errors or typos but other than that none

genre: fluff pretty much just sappy stuff

pairing/s: osamu x gn!reader

wc: about 2.5k

a/n: oh my god idk where i came up with this but i think its cute so :p i hope you enjoy!!

You stared at your blank computer screen, hope of finishing your assignment before its due date at midnight slowly vanishing.

The clock on your desk read 11:27pm, the green lines wavering in your vision as your eyes slowly drooped, trying to drag you into the depths of slumber. You wanted to sleep, you really did, but you knew there was no way you could give up writing your essay, even now, knowing you weren’t going to submit it on time, because you would stress too much about it if you didn’t at least try to complete it before the due date.

Pushing yourself away from your desk, your chair squeaking against the floor ever so slightly in your dead silent dorm room, you tried to think of some excuse that your professor might believe. You doubted there was anything you could think of, but hey, your professor was better than what your roommates’ had mentioned theirs being, and you were grateful for that. Maybe you could tell him that you were exhausted from working extra hours at your job since you had had to cover your coworker’s shift and that’s why you couldn’t complete your essay on time? Or, maybe you could get away with a simple “I was lacking interest in the material, and couldn’t understand anything, and I didn’t ask for help because I knew that you are such a busy man trying to do so many things at once. Another hopeless near college drop-out wasn’t something I thought you needed on your hands.”

....Maybe not the latter.

You sighed, running a hand through your tangled hair, practically feeling it screaming at you to wash it. You barely had time in the mornings to take showers anymore, and when you took them at night, you never had the strength to wash your hair, always knowing that putting a hat on overtop or throwing on your hoodie would make it seem fine on the outside, and that was good enough for you. As long as you looked at least decent and somewhat presentable.

Your dorm room was fairly small, like every other one, but the lack of furniture made it seem larger than the rest. Nothing more than you and your roommate’s joint desk, the mini fridge in the corner, and the beds filled the space. You almost tripped over your backpack lying next to the bunk bed pushed up against the wall, falling to what would’ve been inches away from your roommate’s sleeping body.

In an attempt not to disturb them, you tiptoed through the room, stepping over the occasional heap of clothes or homework, until you reached the bathroom. You fumbled over the door knob before almost tumbling into the small space. Glancing in the mirror, you didn’t fail to notice your messy hair, the dark circles tracing beneath your eyes, or the way you looked like you were seconds away from passing out. The sound of running water rang in your ears as you turned on the sink faucet, cupping your hands together and bringing your face down to meet them, rubbing the cold water all over you in an attempt to keep you awake for just a few moments longer.

Your eyes returned back to the mirror as you sighed at your dripping wet face. There was no way possible you were going to finish your assignment on time. You knew it, your roommate knew it before they passed out, and you had noticed your professor’s wary glance this morning in class as a sign that he knew it too.

An idea sprang into your head, part of you dreading the optimism that seemed to seep through your brain slowly. You didn’t feel like being energetic right now.

---an hour later---

You weren’t exactly sure how, when, or why you decided it would be a good idea to take a shower (you did end up washing your hair, thank god), get your things together in your bag, and head to the off-campus coffee shop (since the one on-campus had already closed), but you found yourself with a warm cup of coffee in hand as you exited the shop, the cold midnight air enveloping you in an unwelcome embrace.

You shivered. The only thing your spontaneous brain had forgotten had to have been your jacket, the one thing your normal brain would’ve remembered if it weren’t already past midnight and if you weren’t majorly sleep-deprived.

You most certainly weren’t done with your essay yet, nor was there any possible way for you to finish it on time since it was now approximately thirteen minutes past the due time, but you let yourself breathe for now.

There weren’t many people out at this hour, and it made the usual busy city streets seemed like a ghost town. There were a few restaurants still open as you strolled along the sidewalk, their lights responsible for illuminating more than half the area in front of you. You passed by an onigiri shop your friend had recommended to you, but you just weren’t that hungry. Most nights, you’d kill for a midnight snack, but your single shot of espresso coffee was satisfying your needs for now.

You decided to head to the park after seeing a rabbit hop its way across the vacant street and into the bushes in that direction. The fresh air was nice and cool against your dry and croaky lungs, and your ears needed a different sound than that of you miserably attempting to touch type quickly, your fingers rapping against the keyboard with vigor.

A stream nearby flowed softly, the dripping of the water against the rocks complimenting the noise of the crickets chirping in sync just downstream. Your footsteps cut through the grass slowly, not bothering to follow the stone path. The park was a nice change of scenery. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d been here by yourself in peace, it was always you and your rambunctious friends who ran through every now and then just to see the dogs running through the sprinklers, or the occasional poor cat whose owner dragged them out into the daylight for exercise. This was peaceful, though, and you appreciated that.

A few more rabbits crossed your path, giving you that wide-eyed, side glance before darting off into the darkness, outside the reach of the lampposts emitting light. The sound of the stream soon faded out as you continued to walk through the park, sipping your coffee every so often. The warmth from your cup was soon dying out, and you figured you’d have to start walking back to your university sooner or later. Maybe you could crash at your friend’s house who lived just off campus, though you had forgotten your phone back at your dorm and had no alarm, no laptop to complete your work, and no contact with anyone else who might worry where you’d be. You had really no choice but to trek back to your dorm in the darkness, cutting your peaceful visit to the park short.

You let yourself have a few more minutes of stress free relaxing as you sat down on a bench just before the ground let out into a downhill slope overlooking the rest of the city below. The trees around you swayed in the breeze, and for a moment, you thought it was the wind talking, and not an actual human being who had somehow made his way beside you without gathering your attention.

“Didn’t think anyone else would be up at this hour,” the stranger mumbled. You glanced up, almost startled that, indeed, someone else was actually awake and strolling through the park.

The boy couldn’t have been much older than you were, maybe the same age. He had his hands stuffed in his jacket pockets, the wind tousled his dark hair ever so slightly, and the moonlight played along, illuminating his face just so you could actually see how gorgeous he was.

You cleared your throat, averting your eyes back to the ground as you shifted over, creating more space on the bench in case he wanted to sit down beside you. “I decided to actually take care of myself for once and give myself some time to breathe before facing the wrath of my professor tomorrow when he finds out I didn’t turn in my essay on time.” You let out a low, breathy chuckle, not exactly sure of what would happen next.

The guy sat down on the bench next to you, though he made sure to give you some personal space, which you were grateful for. He laughed along with you a bit, and you could tell just from his tone just how tired he really was.

You gave him a side glance, raising an eyebrow. “So, what the stressful thing that brought you here in the middle of the night?”

He smiled half-heartedly, eyes trained on the moon. “Work stuff. Jus’ been busy, I guess.” He shrugged.

You waited for him to continue on, but he stayed silent. You didn’t complain, though. Wasn’t your whole reason for coming out here in the dead of the night for some quiet? Plus, it wasn’t awkward either. You were comfortable sitting next to this stranger.

“What do you do for work?” You waited a little longer than necessary to ask, but he didn’t seem to mind the long pause.

“I own a restaurant a few blocks away. I love the job, it’s just tiring havin’ to deal with rude customers like my brother who won’t get the hint and get out sometimes. I got into an argument with him earlier today and he just wouldn’t shut it.” He rolled his eyes and took his hands out of his pockets, making eye contact with you as he went on about his day, and you couldn’t help but smile at his passion. “The guy thinks he can just walk in when I’m working with a new employee and just act like he runs the place! Quite stupid if you ask me. Such a jerk, he is. Thinkin’ about just banning him from the place, really.”

You snorted. “He really bugs you that much, huh?”

The guy smirked at your laugh, admiring it, though you would never had guess that was what flashed across his face in a million years. He nodded. “Yeah, ‘course I love ‘im ‘cause he’s my twin and my best friend, but he really knows how to annoy the hell outta me.” He shrugged. “Maybe I’ll just get a sign in the window that says “no shirt, no shoes, no service” and cross it out and write my brother’s name instead,” he reasoned, and the pondering look in his eyes made you wonder if he was actually considering the idea.

You smiled. “You’re funny.”

“You say that like ya weren’t expectin’ it.”

A laugh made its way out your lips. “Well, when you’re approached by a stranger in the middle of the night you sort of expect the worst.”

The guy glanced off in the distance, away from you, furrowing his eyebrows. “Sorry, didn’t think of that comin’ off that way.” He shrugged a shoulder. “Guess it’s a good thing I’m funny then, and not some creep, eh?”

You nodded, the smile on your face not fading as he changed topics.

“So, what’s your essay on? Any way I can help ya finish it?”

You shook your head dismissively. “Oh, no. It was due thirty minutes ago.” You quickly explained the topic you were writing about in class before getting side tracked. “My professor had said he would allow it to be turned in the next morning, but I doubt he actually meant it.”

He smiled a wide grin, making butterflies flutter in your stomach. “You go to the university nearby, right?”

You nodded in confirmation, raising an eyebrow. “If I’ve got any luck, there’s a chance you go there too?”

He laughed a little, shaking his head. “Nah, I don’t, sorry. I’ve visited campus a few times because some of my friends go there, but I just usually focus on work.”

His gaze was tilted upwards towards the sky, and you couldn’t help but admire how the exhaustion still shone in his eyes, but somehow that same passion gleamed there too just mentioning what he did for a living. You wished you were that passionate about something that would actually support you financially in the future and make you happy.

When he glanced back at you, you were still taking his essence in, and he made a look of confusion. “What?”

You shook your head, chuckling. “Nothing. I just admire that you can dedicate yourself to something and make it seem so easy.” He looked at you, interested to hear what you had to say, even though you were sure you couldn’t be the first person to tell him this. “I haven’t even known you for more than ten minutes and I can already tell you’re passionate about what you do and if you’re stressed about it, it must mean you’re dedicated to seeing your work through, and that’s more than enough to admire and appreciate, especially when that can be so difficult sometimes.” You finished your short tangent, looking back up at him to see him staring intently at you, seemingly in awe of what you’d just said. You felt a blush creep onto your face as you quickly blurted out, “Sorry- I didn’t mean to be so straightforward and weird like that- I sound like some crazy secret admirer or something...”

The crickets chirped in the silence between the two of you, and it felt like it would never end.

“Y’know, I wouldn’t mind havin’ a secret admirer. I mean, wouldn’t be so secret, but...” You saw the smile creep up onto his face. “It’s nice being appreciated. Nobody really tells me that kind o’ stuff, so... thanks, I guess.”

The heat on your cheeks didn’t go away by any means, but you grew more comfortable with it as you mumbled, “Maybe I wouldn’t mind admiring you.”

Now, it was the boy’s turn to blush, and you smiled at how his cheeks grew redder with every passing second, and how his subtle grin spoke a thousand words he didn’t need to say.

“Miya Osamu.” The boy’s hand came into your view as he extended it for you to shake. “I own Onigiri Miya across from the grocery outlet.”

You smirked, grasping his hand in yours as you said, “L/N Y/N. I own an official license for being a horrible driver and an ID that proves I’m a sleep-deprived college student and that’s about it.”

He laughed, shaking your hand and standing up, letting go too soon for your liking.

Because for some weird reason, his hand felt right in yours.

Osamu said a quick goodbye, mentioning something about how he should get going and how you should get some sleep before he disappeared down the stone path back into the darkness.

You stood up not too long after he’d left, your coffee now entirely cold as you plopped the half full cup into the trash can on your walk back to your dorm, not needing the pathetic warmth anymore. Your heart was beating fast and the feeling of Osamu’s hand resting in yours lingered on your palm, and that kept you warm enough.

Maybe you’d be visiting that onigiri place your friend recommended to you a little sooner than you’d originally planned, and maybe more often than you would’ve expected.

#osamu miya x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fluff #hq fluff #hq #miya osamu #osamu #osamu x reader #oml i actually like this #ahhhh its cute #since when have i been motivated #i hope this doesnt flop *sob*

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kittykat-creations · 3 years

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Character Blogs; evening June 26, 2021

I don't have the energy to write this into a fic so here's just the roleplay itself. Credit to @antifreeze-dot-exe for writing Max

Max isn't even undressed yet before David enters the shower building. "Max? What are you doing in here? It's bedtime."

"Nunya business, shithead."

"You should be in your tent, Max."

"Fuck off."

David shakes his head. "Are you feeling alright, Max?"

What is this? A police investigation? I said fuck off."

David frowns. "If you need a shower, you can have a short one. But you need to be back in your tent soon."

Max flips him off and storms over to the showers, mumbling obscenities under his breath.

"Ten minutes, Max!" David calls. "Then I'll be back to send you to bed!"

"Kiss my ass, David!" Max calls after him as he flips on the shower and sits on the bench between the two curtains.

-----

"Max!" David calls when he enters the building. "Time to get to bed!"

Max pulls the waistband of his pants back up over the cuts and shuts off the shower. "Yeah ok, whatever."

David doesn't notice the blood soaking through Max's jeans as he's walking Max back, but Neil does. "Max? Why is your hip bleeding?"

"Fuck off," he growls out. He pulls the blankets over his head.

Neil shrinks back, a little shocked at Max's attitude. "A-are you ok?"

"I said FUCK OFF!"

Neil flinches, whimpering a bit. "C-can we at least... get it- get it cleaned up?" He asks quietly.

"Why the fuck would I do it in the first place if I wanted it cleaned up, Neil?"

"We usually clean it so it doesn't get worse."

"Well maybe I want to get worse." Max rolls over. "Just go to bed, Neil."

"...I-I need my blanket, then... If you- if you want me to sleep in my own cot..." Neil isn't sure what else to do.

"Here," Max stands and tosses the blanket at him. "Just take the whole bed, I'm not sleeping tonight anyway." He starts to walk outside the tent.

Max is only walking around the woods for about ten minutes before Neil gets David and goes out to find him, because Neil is scared Max might do something worse.

"LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE, YOU WHORES!"

"Max, that's not very nice!" David says.

"Max, please!" Neil runs over to him. "Seriously, please, y-youre scaring me."

Max staggers away from them, tripping over a branch in the process. "F-FUCK OFF."

"No! Fuck, Max! I don't want to lose you!"

Max scoots away and sobs. "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!"

Neil is crying too and sits down a couple feet from Max. "I love you, Max, I-I can't... I can't lose you..."

"Bullshit."

"It's not bullshit, asshole!"

Max crawls away from the two and sobs. "I-I h-hate you both! G-get away from me!"

"Im not ri-isking it, M-Max."

"I ha-HATE you j-just let me DIE! Fu-fuck OFF!"

"No! I'm not gonna lose you, Max!"

Max curls in on himself and rips out pieces of his hair.

"Max," David speaks softly, "I know you're upset right now, but I can't let you stay out here alone. For your own safety."

"Fuck y-you!"

"I know. Now we can either stay out here with you, or you can come back to the mess hall if you really want to be alone."

Max scrambles back farther. Blood is soaking through his pant leg, making the already dark material just a little bit darker. He whimpers. "Ju-just let me d-die..."

"I can't let that happen, Max."

Neil sniffs, wiping at his eyes, which are still pretty wet.

"P-please..." Max begs.

David shakes his head. "Come on, let's get you back to camp," he says softly. Max shakes his head. He decides that he is going to sit here until both of them get tired and leave him there to die.

"Yes, Max."

"I-I'll st-stay out here..." Neil says quietly.

"Fuck off..." Max's voice is small.

"N-no..."

Max lays down on the dirt and leaves, scratching at his hands and face. Neil carefully reaches over to try and hold Max's hands. Max snatches them away and rocks back and forth.

"Are you sure you'll be ok...?"

"Fuck off, David, I got it," Neil mumbles. He's just not leaving Max.

"Leave me alone Leave me alone. Leave me alone-" Max chants over and over again. The scratching has gotten more frantic and he's hyperventilating.

"I-I can... give you some space, ok?" Neil suggests. "Somewhere you can't see me?"

"JUST LET ME FUCKING KILL MYSELF!" Max wails.

"Not gonna do that."

Max goes back to ripping his hair out. "No more no more no more..."

"...I know... I know, I'm sorry..." Neil winces a little. "...ca-an you try breathing with me? Please?" Max shakes his head and cries out. "I'm trying, Max, I really am..."

"Please... no more..." He looks pathetic, like a petulant child who's pitching a fit. The only difference between the two is that a small child wouldn't have blood soaking through trousers and running down their face.

"No more what?"

Max weakly gestures all around.

Neil sighs a little. "I can't let you... do that, Max... I love you, I promise I do. But maybe there's some way to... take a break? If you don't feel like sleeping, maybe... Maybe I could build you another sensory deprivation tank." Max shudders, but otherwise stays quiet. "Is that a no...?"

Neil tries to think of other solutions. Max stares off into space, most likely dissociating from the whole situation.

"I'm not sure what else could mimic... taking a break."

Tears are running silently down Max's face, mixing with blood and mucus. Neil notices and hesitates, slowly crawling over, but still not making contact. "Max...?"

Max doesn't respond, only shudders quietly.

"Mm..." Neil picks at the skin around his nails. "I'm... I'm going to get a first aid kit and something to clean you up with, ok?"

Max startles and looks over at Neil sluggishly. "...hm?"

"Getting a first aid kid.'

...first aid kit... for... for the blood... "...oh."

"You'll be ok?" Neil asks.

Max struggles to comprehend what Neil is saying to him. "...be ok...?"

"Be ok?" Neil repeats gently. "For now?"

Be ok... Neil is asking him if he will be ok. Max nods shakily.

"Ok... I'll be quick, promise." Neil doesn't actually go too far. He stops just before he can't see Max anymore and texts Nikki to bring the first aid kid.

Max is completely dissociated. The time it takes for Neil to walk away and text Nikki feels both like a second and a million years. He's floating around in his own mind, far away from camp, far away from Neil, and far away from his own suicidal intentions.

Neil is back ten minutes later, and gently moves Max to sit up, if he can. He leans heavily against Neil and stares off into space. "...hm?"

"It's ok," Neil says softly. He leans Max against a tree and starts by cleaning up his face. Max stares at Neil's knee as he cleans his face.

"...be ok..." he repeats, hanging onto little shreds of reality.

"Be ok," Neil repeats quietly. When he's done cleaning up the scratches, he gently kisses Max's forehead. "Can I do your hip now?"

...hip? ...do... hip...? "...hm?"

"Clean your hip," Neil repeats.

...clean your hip... oh... "...ok."

Neil nods and carefully moves to clean up Max's hip.

"...be ok..." Max whispers, letting Neil clean his cuts.

"It'll be ok," Neil agrees softly.

...it will? Max grabs onto Neil's shirt weakly. "Oh..."

"Yeah, you'll be ok..." Neil runs a hand through his hair. "We'll be ok..."

"Be ok..." Max croaks out, reality slowly seeping back into his consciousness.

"Be ok..."

Max whimpers as the weight of his own intentions falls back squarely onto his shoulders. "...so sorry..."

"It's alright... Y-you didn't mean it..."

"...wanna go home..."

"Yeah, yeah let's get back to camp, ok?"

Max nods. "Be ok..."

Neil helps him stand up. "Be ok."

Max collapses against Neil's chest and staggers with him back to camp.

Max sleeps restlessly throughout the night. Neil barely sleeps, and eventually stays awake after 4:00 am and crochets to pass the time.

#camp camp #max cc #neil cc #maxneil #depression tw #self harm tw #suicide attempt tw #suicide tw #character blogs

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wthzoe · 4 years

Text

chapter 5 - don't let it bring you down

"but don't let it bring you down and turn your face into a frown"

series masterlist - here

previous | next

a/n: wrote this right after i posted chap 4 and it's already 4 am 😃 im still not sleepy rip. so as i said, ive been writing the whole night so i don't know if this chapter makes sense sksksks

Kuroo had a volleyball game coming up in two weeks which made him busy after school. He hadn’t been able to pick up the triplets from daycare and look after them. As for you, he only saw you in the mornings and briefly during classes as they had volleyball practice even during class hours. To say he misses you is an understatement. He even went as far as setting the picture he secretly took of you as his lock screen wallpaper so that you were the first thing he sees when he turns on his phone. He made sure to be careful as to not let a stranger who doesn’t know of your circumstances see it.

Akaashi approached Kuroo who was sitting on the floor with his head tilted back. The curly haired male handed him a bottle of water before sitting down next to the bed haired one.

“Bokuto and I could feel how much you miss (Y/N) from a mile away.” Akaashi bluntly stated.

“Really, now.” Kuroo replied, too tired and (Y/N)-deprived to think of a snarky reply. He chugged down the water Akaashi gave him and stood up to leave. “Well, I’m going first.”

“We’ll be going, too.”

With that, all three of them went back to their respective homes. Upon arriving home, Kuroo went straight into the bathroom to shower in able to go straight to bed. Stepping out of the shower topless while drying his hair off with a towel, he fishes his gym bag for his phone only to be met with anything other than the said device. He felt his heart race. Just when he had something to hide in there, he just had to lose his phone. He poured out the contents of his bag into his bed and he felt the fatigue in his body leave him.

Meanwhile back in the university, a student who had business in the gym saw a phone light up. She picks up the phone and turn it on to try to identify the owner. The lock screen was a photo of a woman carrying what seems like a two-year old baby. She takes a closer look and was finally able to identify that it was you.

Back home you were doing your homework when you hear a series of knocks on your door. Opening it, you were met with Kuroo looking quite jittery and pale. You furrow your brows before asking him what was wrong.

“I, uh. Can you do me a favor? My phone’s missing and I’m pretty sure the location’s on.”

“Oh, sure, sure. Come in. Do you want some water?”

“I’m fine but thanks anyway.”

The two of you work together to locate his phone and he was so relieved to find out that it was just in the university, most likely in the gym. Then he remembered what he had set as his lock screen a few days ago. He quickly thanked you then rushed to pick his phone up, silently praying that no one saw his wallpaper. He didn’t think that you’d be ashamed of your sons, but then you didn’t really seem like you intended to tell people you’re not close to seeing as people usually don’t have anything nice to say. He wanted to respect that decision of yours but because of him losing his phone you might have a hard time. When he got to the university his phone was at the lost and found which only means that someone had seen his lock screen. Fuck.

The next day rolled around and you were in Kuroo’s backseat with the triplets as usual. The two of you drop them off at the daycare and when you went back to his car, he seemed paler than before. He was also tapping the stirring wheel repeatedly, something he does when something is bothering him.

“Tetsu,” the way he flinched at the sound of your voice had you even more worried. “Are you okay?”

He debated whether he should tell you what he’d done. If by chance someone did see it and the news had spread, it’d be his fault and there was a big chance that this would be the last time you’d talk to him. However, he didn’t want to keep it from you and wait before you find out yourself. He sighed, here goes.

“Listen, (Y/N). I just want to say that I’m sorry in advance,” your brows furrowed, heart beating faster. “Why don’t you go grab my phone then turn it on.”

You do as he says, eyes widening at the candid photo of you and Masao. It was surprising, but you didn’t get what was making him so troubled.

“Remember when I left that behind at uni last night?” He glanced at you to check your reaction. Your expression remained confused. “I got it from the lost and found. So, that being said… it’s highly likely that someone saw that lock screen.”

It took you a few more seconds to get what he was saying and then, oh. Oh. You got it. There’s a big chance that at this very second, people would be talking about you and your sons. You didn’t know whether to laugh or what. It was like high school all over again. You were sure of one thing, though. You were scared. Scared of having to walk through the hallways with all eyes on you, hearing their whispers. The disgust and disappointment evident in the way they looked at you.

Your silence made Kuroo even more tense. He couldn’t read your expression from the little glances he’s taking as he drives. You carefully place his phone back where it was before speaking.

“Oh.” You reply shortly. Tears were starting to pool around your eyes and you were sure your voice would break if you speak. You didn’t want Kuroo to see you being weak and worry so you turn your head away from him. He took this as a sign that you were indeed mad at him, his heart broke thinking about how he ruined everything between the two of you.

When you arrived you quickly stepped out of the car and walked ahead. Usually, Kuroo would open the door for you then you’d walk together, but of course, today would be different. Maybe even the following days, weeks, months, years. Who knows? All Kuroo knew was that he fucked up and he’d driven you away from him.

You wiped away your tears before entering the building. Just as you’d suspected, almost everyone was looking at you weird and whispering amongst themselves. You were even able to hear one of the few things they said.

“I heard that the child looked like it was already at least two, that means…”

You clenched your fists and carried on. When you entered the classroom, you were surprised to see people sitting down in their respective seats quietly. Too quietly. You expected the classroom to be the place where there’d be more people talking about you. It still didn’t change the fact, however, that some others have their eyes on you.

“Mornin’, (Y/N)!” Bokuto greeted. You smiled back at him curtly. Akaashi was looking at you with worry but you didn’t notice as you immediately sink into your seat.

Classes dragged on longer than it used to and lunch became unbearable as you decided not to join your three friends. Instead, you lock yourself in a bathroom stall, head tilted back as you try to stop your tears from falling. You thought you’d be safe there but you were proved to be wrong when at least four girls entered, gossiping about ‘that freshie who already has a child.’

‘Please, let this day end already.’ You thought.

When the classes were finally over, you went straight home instead of at work, wanting nothing else but to wrap yourself in your blanket and cry yourself to sleep. You didn’t even realize that you haven’t picked up the triplets from the daycare when you’d fallen asleep.

Kuroo was staring at your number on his phone, debating whether to call you or give you space. When he was about to turn his phone off and shove it into his gym bag, he felt it vibrate. However, instead of your name popping up like he hoped, it was an unknown number.

“Hello?”

“Ah, Sir Kuroo! I’m the triplets’ teacher. Ms. (Y/N) hasn’t come to pick the boys up. I know it’s only been twenty minutes but Ms. (Y/N) is never late unless she calls to say so. She wouldn’t answer her phone either. I was hoping you could check up on her.”

He felt his heart beating faster. “O-okay. I’ll pick the boys up on the way as well. Thank you for calling me.”

“Okay, I’ll have the boys ready. Have a safe drive, sir.”

The call ended and Kuroo slung his gym bag on his shoulder. He turned to Bokuto and Akaashi who were also taking a break from practice.

“Guys, I’m going ahead. The triplets’ teacher called, apparently they haven’t been picked up yet and (Y/N)’s not answering her phone. Cover for me.” He didn’t even wait for their response when he practically sprinted to his car.

When he picked up the boys, they were staring at him with a curious look on their faces. Kuroo wasn’t able to pay mind to it as he couldn’t stop thinking about you. After the three were safely seated in their car seats, they drove to where you worked but alas, you weren’t there. Your boss explained that you didn’t come in that day and that usually you’d call when you weren’t coming in. This didn’t make Kuroo feel any better at all. The only place he knows to check was your apartment.

Back at your apartment you’d just woken up, panicking when you saw that it’s already dark out. You tried to recall if you even picked up the boys. When you remembered that you didn’t, you sprung up. Muttering a string of ‘oh shit’s, you run out of your room. You were about to open the door when someone from the other side beat you to it. Kuroo was standing in front of you, hands on the triplets’ shared stroller. Without a word, you grab the stroller from him and slammed the door on him. You were 100% sure that there were clear traces of the breakdown you had earlier so in fear of having Kuroo see you in that state, you had no choice but to cold heartedly slam the door on him.

Once again, Kuroo Tetsurou’s heart broke.

#kuroo x reader #kuroo imagine #kuroo imagines #kuroo tetsuro x reader #kuroo tetsuro imagines #kuroo tetsuro imagine #kuroo tetsurou x reader #kuroo tetsurou imagine #kuroo tetsurou imagines #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu scenario #haikyuu au #haikyuu #with a smile series

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doux-ciel · 3 years

Text

Silent night

Summary: New York is known as a loud city, music blaring, people talking, this is the city that never sleeps. All Eira wanted was some peace and quiet on Christmas Eve in her Brooklyn residence. A couple with their newborn baby who live upstairs are anything but silent. As Eira will soon find out it won’t be a Silent Night.

A/N: Hello, since Halloween is over im bringing you Christmas in November. Enjoy ⛄️

11:28 p.m. December 24th.

The snow flurries fall lightly on the window seal of the old building in the city of Brooklyn, New York. The forecast hadn’t called for snow for at least 2 days after Christmas but miracles can happen.

As the snow starts to settle on the icy ground Eira, the elderly woman downstairs prayed for a miracle to happen.

That the snow didn’t stick.

That her family members would stop calling.

That the baby upstairs would stop wailing.

But alas none of her prayers go answered, as she grabs her cane and walks over to the window. Eira observes the snow sticking, she still hears her phone ringing and her ears are damn near ringing because of the baby upstairs.

Eira enjoyed her silence, ever since she became a widow it has been pretty quiet in the 1 bedroom apartment lately. Her late husband used to love Christmas, she could see him now. Trying his best to decorate the house up with everything that had to do with Christmas. Bringing out the record player and putting on one of his favorite songs. ‘Once I have you’ by the Originals. Dragging Eira out of her favorite chair in the living room and having them dance until 12 a.m. or until his knees started to get tired and he has to sit down.

A small smile appears on Eira’s face for a brief moment, thinking of the memories of her life before the sickness, before the sadness, before the heartbreak of losing her first and only husband. It was quickly replaced by a frown, and it never seemed to go away now that the signs of new life have appeared in the apartment above her; with the constant crying and arguing.

Living in New York, the term living on top of one another is true, and you hear everything that goes on in the building no matter how much you try to drown out the noise.

She has seen the young couple outside of the building, mostly for a brief moment. If she happened to go outside to water her plants or if they had both come back from getting groceries, there was a brief hello and that was it. Nothing more, nothing less.

That was the way Eira liked it.

No small talk.

No “how are you doing today?”

None of it.

They just minded their business and kept it moving.

Now Eira feels like she knows them more than they know her; the constant bickering, fighting, and now that a second child has been added into their growing family there will be no more silent nights.

Eira is now in her bathroom putting a lukewarm wash cloth on her aging skin, she feels the warm air circulate into the small confined space from the vent in the ceiling. She also hears the noise of the couple upstairs.

11:36 p.m. December 24th

“Shhh Moogie-bear” Hollyn coos at the crying baby in her arms. Pulling her shirt down to expose to her chest, desperately trying to get her son to latch. The 4 week old newborn had nursed 45 minutes prior but Hollyn knew it wasn’t enough and he hasn’t stopped crying since.

“Just please stop crying so mama can go to sleep” Hollyn sighs in frustration at the wailing baby in her arms. She was currently in the master bedroom, sitting in the rocking chair that resided in the corner of the bedroom.

Her husband Carsten came emerging from their eldest child’s room, with their sleeping 5 year old daughter in his arms.

“You want me to just make him a bottle?” He says calmly, knowing to tread carefully on the subject of feeding because he knows that’s Hollyn only wants to exclusively breastfeed.

Hollyn shakes her head no, the skin around her eyes are swollen and she instantly starts crying again. Her voice evident of frustration mixed with exhaustion. “I can feed my baby Carsten...just put her back to bed and try to wrap the rest of the presents.”

Kissing his teeth Carsten obliges and puts his daughter back in bed, but as he is finishing up wrapping the presents for his family he stops. Taking matters into his own hands he makes a bottle for his son and sets it on the counter.

After wrapping the presents, Carsten grabs the bottle and follows the crying that is made from his son and his wife into the bedroom once again. As he steps in the room, his son is now screaming and flailing his head around; as Hollyn is trying her hardest to get him closer to her chest.

He snaps, “He doesn’t want to nurse Hollyn, just let me feed our son!”

“No! I’m made to do this Carsten!” Hollyn pinches her eyes shut and shrieks.

Carsten’s voice is now increasing in volume, he sets the bottle down on the nightstand and squats down in front of the rocking chair; getting down to her level. “So now you want our son to starve and scream because your ego as a mother won’t let him use a bottle?”

Hollyn looks at him in silence, the only thing that is heard in the room is the crying of their son. Carsten can tell he messed up and he messed up bad.

“Hollyn” He places a hand on her exposed thigh but he feels her body tense up from his touch.

Looking up at Carsten, Hollyn parts her lips to say something, but then quickly pulls her lips back into her mouth. She places a kiss on the wet cheek of her son and places Noel in Carsten’s arms, walking out of the room without a single word.

They both knew it would be hard but they didn’t think their 6th year of marriage turn out like this. The newborn, their oldest child who still requires a lot of attention, the apartment with all of its cracked walls and broken doors, most importantly the sleep deprivation. They are both lucky enough to have PTO saved up for the first couple of weeks to bond with their son but it’s safe to say they both feel like they need a break from all of it.

Hollyn was in the kitchen trying to calm her nerves down with a cup of warm milk. Wiping away her tears she looks into their living room, a huge Christmas tree in the middle of the room and presents piled underneath.

All she wished for was a bit of peace and quiet.

And she got it.

It only lasted for 10 minutes.

After Carsten gave Baby Noel his bottle, he went right back to fussing/crying. The young couple didn’t know what to do, They had no plans of a silent night this Christmas Eve and they prayed that something...anything would get their child to rest.

11:45 p.m. December 24th

‘It just never seemed to end’ Eira thought as she tried to close her eyes to go to sleep. As she layed on her queen sized mattress. The bed felt empty, it felt cold, she felt lonely.

With the baby crying upstairs she knew she was never alone.

As she lay in her bedroom on Christmas Eve she saw the green and red lights flashing lights from one of the apartments across the street, even if she didn’t celebrate Christmas this year she still felt the spirit all around her. It made the darkness that is in her heart a little brighter.

She knew what she had to do.

Putting on a housecoat and her slippers she grabs her cane and goes into the hall closet, most of it is filled with old linens and some of her husbands old clothes. She spots the old record players and pulls it out.

The apartment is filled with the sound of Sam Cooke ‘It’s all right’

It's all right

Honey it's all right

Long as I know, long as I know that you love me

Baby, it's all right

When an argument would occur, whenever a nasty word was said. Whenever tensions were high in the house.

This was the song her husband would play.

This was the song that made her feel better.

Snapping her fingers, Eira starts to do a little dance in the hallway.

As she walks past the mirror, she tucks her long grey hair behind her ear and smiles at her reflection.

She knew without him, Christmas would be all right.

11:56 p.m. December 24th

The music from down below seems to get louder and louder as every second came and went.

Carsten had came into the living room, giving Hollyn a look. Both of them knew that the woman downstairs never made a bunch of noise and they definitely knew for sure that she never played music either.

Finally after many attempts to ge their youngest to stop crying, they hear the doorbell.

They knew family wouldn’t be over for the holidays so it surprised them both. Carsten cautiously approached the door while Hollyn was right behind him, baby in her arms.

As they opened the front door, they notice her long gray hair. The dazzling fresh snow appeared on her head like a halo, like a Christmas angel.

As the infants cries grew louder, Eira asks a simple question.

“Can I come in?”

Carsten turns his head looking at his wife for approval, she slowly nods and as Eira enters she is snapping her fingers and humming, ‘it’s all right’

This Christmas was going to be different.

This is going to be a Christmas to remember.

#writeblr #my writing #black writers #writers #writing #poc author #creative writing #aesthetic #creative #poc #christmas #oneshot #black love #black art #my art #art #writers on tumblr #romance #drama

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iphoenixrising · 5 years

Text

Welp, it’s @commanderrice‘s birthday, and since babe sent a thing that almost killed me (this thing), we’re just going to have something short ;)

And it’s been–

A good fucking night.

Tim’s 21st birthday had been celebrated with a gala at Wayne Enterprises with posturing and posing, wining and dining the elite in Gotham when he really should have been playing beer pong somewhere with vomit on his shirt.

Still, afterwards, he gets to relax at the Manor, flop down on his favorite couch in the first floor entertainment room, tie pulled apart, and just be.

Dami had already come in to ruffle his hair and demand he get sleep, Drake. You aren’t getting any younger, and we are on tomorrow night.

Bring my cane, Baby Bat.

Tt. Bring it yourself. We shall play rooftop tag to warm up your old bones.

It was nice that his room upstairs was made up with some of his random tech scattered around on the desktop and bookshelves. The Minecraft sheets under the big comforter have been washed and probably smell like heaven.

He takes a minute to deliberate the gloriousness of clean sheets and pajamas the right kind of worn upstairs in the bottom right-hand drawer versus staying right in this couch, sunk in perfectly.

His wake-up call is B, Jay, and Dick finding him, carrying a bottle of something expensive and dark.

For the next few hours, the three of them are in the kitchen with Alfred, sitting around the island on barstools until their asses go numb and standing to get circulation back gets harder and harder the more the bottle goes dry.

It’s really just a replay of some of his best (and worst) moments since he got the cape.

“And that,” Jay tries to wheeze out, “that daft asshole got hit by his own fucking trap. Timmer is just standing–standing there like. ‘Thought this was s’ppose ta be a fight er some shit? Like, this is how the Riddler rolls?”

Bruce legit snort laughs, and that just makes shit more hilarious.

At some point they’re all in old sweats and t-shirts, swapped around enough times that B’s Green Arrow symbol is completely cool while Tim’s got the one with the quote from Little Women. Jason apparently doesn’t notice how the Gotham Knights one is pulling at his shoulders while Dick has one for Lucky Charms with the autograph from Dr. Fate.

There’s absolutely no place else he’d rather be.

But Bruce and Alfred finally call it quits when there’s only the smallest bit left in the bottom, and Dick has to make sure the toilet in the downstairs bathroom is still wobbling because that? Could be a problem in the morning.

So it’s left to him and Jay, arms over each other’s shoulders to hold one another on the barstools as much as it is because Jay’s really a sap at heart.

And maybe Tim is too because he has to drain the bottom of his tumbler before telling (his) the second Robin how happy he is for them. They’re good for each other, and dammit, they both deserve the utter best.

Which turns in to a ramble on Dick’s absolutely amazing characteristics–

(It’s only a teensy bit bittersweet because he totally knows how amazing they both are)ˆ

“S’riously, Timmers, date a guy who says things like “Drive save” “text me when you’re home safe” “Choke me harder” “I can’t wait to see you” “I’m proud of you.” You know, that sort of sappy shit.”

He’s obviously hammered, but still, there’s something hitting him right in the brain pan. “Mmm, something in there doesn’t quite fit in with ‘sappy.’ What was that third one again?”

“I can’t wait to see you.” “Back-up.” “Drive safe?” “Nope, that’s not it.”

Jay is apparently a little drunk by the toothy smile and flailing hands that are probably some kind of, I tried gesture.

Dick manages to wander back in, and looks enough together that Tim is actually wondering if he imagined a half-full bottle that started out the night. “What are we talking about?” With a lean-down and drunk kiss on the face, something so fucking adorable.

Tim makes kissy noises at them, leaning an elbow on the island so he can hold himself up. “Oh nothing, I just found out that you’re a closeted freak between the sheets, Dick.”

It’s not humanly possible for someone not to get whiplash when they spin around that fast:

“JASON. I left you alone for ten minutes–”

But a move like that takes space and momentum. They’re vigilantes. They know all about it.

Which makes it even worse when he gets caught on Dick’s flailing hand, Jason loses his balance because of the fast move, and Dick completely overcompensated, and all three of them are on the ground.

He happens to land in the middle, ass in Jason’s fucking lap, and Dick sprawled all over him.

The second hand gives three ticks.

And the three of them are laughing so hard, Tim is really starting to get worried he might either piss himself or pull a fucking muscle because Jason fucking snorts this time and off they go again.

Dick might actually hyperventilate and Jay gives up on everything. The three of them flopping around Wayne Manor’s kitchen floor at ass o’clock.

Hands down, this is living right here.

When they finally calm it the hell down and it looks very much like time for bed, Tim really doesn’t focus on how Dick is literally pinning him against the front of Jay’s body or how warm they both are. Nope, he’s going to live for this moment, drag his weary ass to bed, and probably make a promise to never drink again (which will probably be broken in Titan’s Tower at some undetermined future date).

When he’s about to start shoving himself free, Jay’s arm around his chest gets a little tight.

“I mean, whadda ya expect, Dickie? If Timmy’s interested, he’s gonna wanna know what he’s getting in bed, y’ feel me?”

Dick’s eyes are twinkling blue, his grin utterly unrepentant, “you’re honestly going to bring this up while we’re all sleep deprived and sloshed? I thought we’d wait to ask him out when all of us are sober.”

“Ain’t no time like the present,” Jay counters, craning his neck to look down. “Baby Bird might actually take us seriously if we ask ‘im now.”

“Ask him out?”

He’s dreaming. He’s already passed out somewhere drooling on his pillow. This? This is like BEST BIRTHDAY FUCKING EVER kind of dream.

“Mmhm,” Dick leans up to sloppily nose against his face, “but not tonight. We’re going upstairs to pass the hell out. We’ll be miserable together with the hangover. Tomorrow, we’re going to ask you out, and you are going to say yes.”

“Can–can I just say yes right now?”

“Not ‘till ya hear this asshole sawing logs, Timmy.” Leave it to Jason to haul all of them on their feet and untangle him from Dick’s octopus hold. “C’mon, gotta make you motherfuckers get up the stairs without breaking yer fool necks.”

It takes some fumbling and falling around, but for Tim Drake’s 21st Birthday, he gets the middle of the bed and two vigilantes wrapped around him.

But if he’s a very good vigilante, he might get the same thing again next year.

#happy birthday babe!#drabble #dcu #dc comics #dick grayson #Jason Todd #bruce wayne #alfred pennyworth #damian wayne #based on that text post #my fic #my drabble #hints of #dickjaytim

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nightmaretyrantvantas · 5 years

Text

Sleepless nights and a shift in character developments- A homestuck au strider story

I wrote this during a bout of insomnia(partially caused by excitement) and I couldnt stop thinking about it

@turing-tested This comes from one of the MANY things I babbled about this character, so if you see this you might recognize it.

Im going to post more about this character soon its just alot to compile for one post-at least 5 years worth or development and passion so bear with me please

Note before reading : This is in the best put terms, an au epilogue i made before homestuck even finished, and the only thing accurate to any current epilogues is the canon kids ages.

This is long and gets a bit dark and emotional and angsty but I promise it has a happier ending. It also glosses over some heavier themes like mentions and brief discussions of nonspecified eating disorders, so if that makes you uncomfortable you can skip this

enjoy

whrrz….whrzz…..whrrzz….

The damn clock ticking was endless. The figure tossed and turned restlessly on the bed, kicking and pulling up the cotton sheets as they ceiling fan lazily spun uncaringly from above. After another bout of struggling for comfort there was a glance at the nearby digital clock

2:45 a.m

“Goddammit……”

With a angry groan the girl fell heavily onto her back and dragged her hands down her face, staring up at the ceiling with exhaustion. This just kept happened to her, ever since she and all her friends and people she gave any shits about crashed here in a new world. No matter what she did she could never get a full nights sleep, plagued by either ruthless insomnia or vicious night terrors. Pick your poison a night. It didnt matter what the 19 year old did really, nothing eased it. And so she stared at the bedroom ceiling and the spinning fan hopelessly before she finally dragged herself up into a sitting position, head hung low. Even with moonlight streaming in blue light things felt too dark. So one tired Dian Strider fumbled her hand around the room and turned on tv on the other side of the room, wincing and squinting as its bright changing light filled her room. She glanced back at the clock and grimaced at the two minutes that had passed. Then she shut her eyes and listened, muting the tv. The apartment was quiet….too quiet…

Her eyes snapped back open, a new look of anxiety crossing her face.

“ Hes not back yet….its Wednesday…hes late…” She shook her head and looked at the wall by her bed, at the pinned up pages of scribbles hanging there contently

WEDNESDAY : RETURNS BY 1 AM

Now she as on her feet and pacing around on fragile boned legs, absently gnawing on the scarred knuckle of her index finger. Her thoughts drifted and tumbled through her sleep deprived brain worriedly, though she wouldnt admit it aloud just yet.

Dirk wasnt home yet. He shouldve been home by now. But hes not….is he?

She stopped and looked at her bedroom door, unlocked and fully capable of opening and revealing the knowledge she wanted to know, all outside her little space.

But could she handle opening it?

With a new look of tired firmness she padded barefoot across the carpet and opened her door as silently as she could. If he WAS back she didnt want to wake him up. And there it is illuminated by the light in her room and the gently dim moonlight from the staircase and hallway window : Dirk’s bedroom door, firmly closed. She took a few light steps and Dia was now in front of it, hand grazing the doorknob as doubts made her pause. Sure, she had been living with him for almost 5 months now, and sure he had been more than welcoming and generous in his…weird stoic and socially avoident tendencies and eccentricities. Dia couldn look passed those, who was a shattered and violently anti social and mistrusting girl to judge the man who gave her and her little brother a roof to sleep under and a home to call their own when he had absolutely no obligation to? The answer was she wasnt anyone to judge him.

Not after he let her take on his last name to ease some of the trauma.

But were they really close enough to give her the right to just….turn the knob and open his door as if she was really family?

‘ Yes. we…we are? God i dont really know…But Hal gave me an ok to do so if I needed to talk or got too anxious…he said Dirk doesnt mind me leaning on him a little…so…this should be fine…to just peek in and see if hes in there…even if hes not asleep…I can just make some excuse about…fuck…anything…’ With a metaphorical slap to the face and a small huff of “ Just do it already dia stop being a pansy its just Dirk” she tightened her grip with more false confidence and turned it, slowly pushing it open just enough to poke her head in…

Just to find it empty.

She blinked and her shoulders slumped in disappointment. He wasnt there, which mean he just…probably wasnt home yet.

So she re shut the door without venturing further and walked over to the stairs that led down to the first floor and front of the apartment and ended up slumped across one of the sturdy steps, glaring at the wall upset and exhausted….so exhausted that her eyes fell without her realizing…letting her drift into an uneasy sleep….

And fell straight into a unrelenting nightmare.

She was forced out of it by the sound of something slamming downstairs followed by a thump she didnt register. Because she was sitting straight up shaking violently and tearing up, fingers digging painfully into her arms as she hugged herself, breathing too fast. She looked around like a cornered animal until she was able to calm down a little, her surroundings settling back into her mind. But that slam…

Dia was on her feet gasping for breath a little as she stumbled down the rest of the stairs and out into the living room, tripping on her own two feet in her panic. She felt so small and alone and alone was the one thing she didnt want to be for a little while–

And all the spinning in her head stopped when she saw him.

He was sprawled out not all that gracefully on the beat up grey couch, one of his arms hanging off as his legs dangled over the arm. His blonde hair, much lighter than hers was a damp mess of spikes from being outside in the misty rain of before dawn that plastered against his forehead and into his uncovered, shut eyes. On his hand against his chest were his sharp shades, a dim and fading red glow slowly going out on them, a clear indicating Hal was asleep. She watched his chest rise and fall rhythmically and deeply, indicating he was already fast asleep. She figured it was from the past couple all nighters he’d pulled, between work his own projects and his nightly outings. Dia watched him sleep for a few moments then quietly walked over to his side, noting the familiar bags of insomnia under his eyes even in the dim lighting Silently she sighed and walked over to another chair in the room and grabbed a two blankets off it, a soft knitted one Dave left here from someone she was had met two times now named Rose and a thicker fabric quilt thing Dirk’s had since before she arrived, mentioned by Hal to have been a apartment warming present from friends named Jane and Roxy. She carried them over to him and with a wobbly stance and some struggling to not wake him or Hal up draped the quilt over his body, making sure it wasnt awkwardly on him.

Then Dia wrapped the knitted blanket around herself and plopped down on the floor next to his side, facing him and watched over him for awhile.

It wasnt anything special or life changing to her at first. She just…her brain was in a dark place and right now, The man before her was a very real and very present and constant reminder of the good in her situation. She was out of that hellscape, she was free.

She was safe and in a better place. Next to him the these early hours of the morning on the living room floor nothing bad from her past could hurt her or reach her. And that was all she needed.

So Dia made herself more comfortable and leaned on the couch in the space next to his chest and side and leaned her head against the quilt covered space until it barely, just barely pressed up against said bodily area as her body curled and folded into a comfortable spot doing so and her tired clementine eyes drowsily watched the movement of his breathing and the distant tick of a far off clock until she didnt even notice herself falling fast asleep at his side, nightmareless for the first time in months.

‘ Dirk…dirk wake up already.’

‘Dirk I know you can still hear me, wake up’

It was irritatingly bright with the morning sun when Dirk finally pried his eyes open, squinting up in pain at the ceiling. God was he fucking regretting passing out on the couch right now. So he quietly unfolded his only small salvation from the light and slid the shades over his orange eyes, blinking the exhaustion from them after with a yawn.

‘ nngh….Hal buddy you on already?’ He got an immediate, if not amused answer that made him practically imagine the body motion and expression that shouldve accompanied it. He couldnt help but smile a little and crack his neck in an attempt to ease the stiffness….god he needed a new damn couch.

‘ Dirk…dirk look down.’ He quirked an eyebrow but didnt even get a chance to ask

Because he moved his hanging arm and brushed against another solid mass that made him look down anyway.

He didnt dare move for a few moments when he saw Dia curled up beside him on the floor, his hand having brushed against the slim girl’s too bony arm. But didnt wake up, only shifted slightly as her head burrowed into his side a bit, looking more relaxed than he’d ever really seen her.

‘ When did she…?’

‘ I am not sure. she was already there asleep when I first started up this morning. I can only assume shes been there since we got home.’ He dragged a hand through his hair as he looked over her and carefully moved his arm so he didnt wake her up.

Dirk decided not to sit up or move from the couch yet either.

‘ She almost looks happy…’

“ Yeah… I know. Too bad she doesnt always look like this…’ There was a silence between them and Dirk sighed through his nose.

‘…im going to make breakfast.’ Was the only thing Dirk finally said before carefully getting up and heading to the kitchen. ‘ Oh? Thats a first for you…you normally skip breakfast.’ Dirk didnt respond right away, scavenging the simple, cluttered kitchen for anything to cook and scrunching his nose a little when he wasnt really finding anything.

‘ Dirk you KNOW there hasnt been any grocery restocking since you started your latest project…’ He groaned and pressed his forehead against the freezer door and stayed quiet for another moment, gears in his head turning and things lining up in his head. Hal didnt try prodding him too much for an answer. He knew the human too well by now, Dirk was working something out in his head. And on top of that he had barely been awake maybe twenty minutes after a total of maybe four or five hours of sleep, doing three all nighters before that. So Hal wasnt quick to call Dirk all to responsive lately.

Maybe he should contact Jane after all to get him into a healthier…well…anything.

“ ….I really didnt want to go outside this early…but if the kid will be asleep for awhile…hmm…”

‘ Hmm what?’ The blonde shook his head a little and rubbing an eye with the palm of his hand as if forcing the drowsiness away.

“ Hey Hal….mind messaging Dave for me and asking when he’s planning to come back home from Karkat’s this week?” ‘…alright Dirk I am, anything else?’ Hal asked, a bit sympathetic at the exhaustion in his voice. He knew Dirk didnt like to bother Dave with too much, especially when the younger strider stayed with them specifically to make sure Dirk took care of himself. He wanted him to live his own damn life without worrying about him, and so didnt ask him when he was coming back or how long he’d stay.

“…yeah. Ask him if its today and if he could possibly grab some groceries on his way home…” There was a silence but Hal told him he would and Dirk’s shoulders slumped when they got the reply that Dave would show up in about a half hour, and asking for a general list or if he should just wing it.

Dirk said to just wing it. He wasnt picky right now.

Dia hadnt woken up by the time Dirk pulled on a decently cleaner shirt and his shoes, though she had shifted somewhat. He was a little relieved, she’d been sleeping worse than him recently and any rest was good rest. Yeah…it was was all he concluded as he slipped outside into the bright sunlight and sat on the stoop step that led into the apartment, absently gazing over the city lost in thought.

“ Yo Dirk.” He glanced down to see Dave coming up the steps in casual clothing, face mostly neutral as he carried up two big bags of food. Dirk saw the slightly furrowed brows and the way his mouth tugged down in concern and heaved a sigh, standing and walking down to take one of the bags.

“ Gotta be quiet when you go in, the kid’s fast asleep in the living room and I kinda want her to stay that way. Where’s Derik?” Dave shrugged as he followed him up.

“ He was video calling Jay when Hal pestered me, so I left him be and came alone.” He got a nod as they walked in, Dave raising an eyebrow seeing Dia on the floor but not voicing the question.

Dirk probably didnt move her so she’d sleep longer. He knew she had issues with being touched.

Though when they entered the kitchen his eyebrows furrowed again.

“ Dirk when was the last time you cleaned the damn apartment? You’ve got shit lying everywhere again it wasnt like this when I was here last.” The older man shrugged as he shoved junky clutter out of the way and replaced it with the bag of food, not exactly wanting to answer. The knight sighed and resisted any urges to smack the other person he considered family. Because goddamn was it hard to resist when he was falling back into bad habits and going back on months of progress being made.

“ You know what? Dont worry about it Dirk. I’ll help you pick up later or something since I’m here. Lets just get all the food put away and make something to eat, because damn am I starved and Im sure she will be too once she actually wakes up.” Dirk mumbled an agreement and started putting things away and setting stuff up to cook…something, anything.

“ So…what is with the sudden desire to make breakfast? Hal and I usually have to force you not to skip it.” Dave wasnt really expecting an answer, To be honest neither was Hal at that point. Dirk was clearly in a more antisocial mood and that was fine really, but the silence was making the shorter blonde…twitchy. Maybe he just wasnt used to it anymore, when he considered half the time he stayed with Karkat further out of the city in a house that was distinctly more…energetic with two teenagers running around living with them. He had thought having Dia here might break him out of that but she could be just as bad as he was honestly, a sometimes too perfect match in their isolation habits.

He was thinking about it so much he almost missed Dirk’s reply, turning towards him blinking.

“ Wait wha–” “ I said I’m not doing it for me…im making food for Dia.” There was a moment of a much more fragile silence and dirk pulled off Hal and set him on the counter, gripping it with both hands as he stared tiredly at the wall and cabinets in front of him, his eyes a bit distant as if he was seeing something else entirely Dave couldnt. He sighed heavily and continued with a low tone that sounded like he was trying to stay neutral, unemotional about it.

“ She doesnt eat enough. Coming from me already is a big deal but, I…Im almost positive she has some sort of eating disorder Dave. One she just wont tell me about. But I see the signs of it all over her. The underweight, the fragility of her whole body, the fatigue, the way she tries to avoid eating as much as possible, the way she hides herself away after meals…but I cant push her either because well fuck. What place do I have to really say anything? I’m not blood related, I’ve only known her about 5 months and ive barely tried to get to know her that much or get close to her but she’s grown on me a little and im worried one of these days her insomnia and her lack of eating are going to do her off right under my nose and there’ll be no one to blame but myself for not looking out for her enough. Like fuck,” His nails scrapped along the counter as his fingers curled in frustration. “ Im a goddamn wreck half the time and she’s almost worse than me and I just…I dont even know. The kid deserves better than that? She probably deserves alot better than staying up at night waiting and worrying when I’m going to get home and falling asleep on the goddamn floor and–maybe…maybe I should’ve had Roxy or Jane take her instead. Or even Jake. Somewhere where’d she’d-she’d get help for her issues, not a place to let them fester.” The air was heavy as he finished, his shoulders slumped in defeat and his head hung as if it had become too much to stay up on its own, eyes screwed close in a frustrated kind of pain. Dave was a little speechless, he knew Dirk felt a little responsible for Dia and part of that mightve been from himself but…He didnt know.

He shouldve known though.

“ Dirk…Jesus Dirk why didnt you mention any of this sooner? If you’ve been so worried you could just tell me and I’d help you.” He moved closer and put a hand on his shoulder, pushing up his shades and leaning over to try to look the older man in the eyes.

“ Dirk cmon dont shut me out now after that damn word vomit of you actually opening up. You are not shutting down on me, hell no. You opened your own floodgates and we’re going to swim through what the fuck you released together and work this out because clearly help is needed right now. If it wasnt you wouldnt have asked me to come back out of nowhere, and we wouldnt be having an emotional brotherly moment in the middle of your shitty kitchen at nine in the goddamn morning with the kid you’re clearly worried about dead asleep on your living room floor. So, lets talk ok?” With another tired sigh Dirk nodded as they kept cooking, neither noticing the thin figure slip away upstairs to shower.

After Dave left things were awkward. The two sat at Dirk’s kinda crappy dining table with a non microwaved meal in front of them both poking at it in silence. By the time they both decided they were done the house apartment felt delicate and tense. But regardless Dia holed up in her room for the rest of the evening to prepare for another fitful night and around ten Dirk pulled on his shoes and headed out.

Dia checked the clocked a couple hours later, noting tiredly that it was only ten past midnight. So she simply rolled over to face the wall and shut her eyes, trying to shut off her brain. It almost worked too…

Click.

Her eyes snapped open and she lifted her head to look towards the door briefly confused, almost assuming she was hearing things. She glanced at the clock again. 12:13 am. She rubbed her eyes and slowly sat up.

“ No way…I heard him leave at ten…and he usually doesnt come back until at least two on thursday…” She listened for a moment to make sure, and sure enough there was the sound of shuffling downstairs, slowly coming up the stairs. When she heard Dirk’s bedroom door open she got up and shuffled over to her own peeking out of her door to see his back. Before she could stop herself she made a noise to announce her presence and Dirk paused, looking back at her. There was a moment where they both stared at each other as she briefly panicked at the fact she started this conversation.

“ y..you’re back pretty early tonight…” She almost visibly cringed at herself as he gave a small shrug.

“ Didnt feel like being out for long tonight…besides, keeps some anxieties down if im not gone too late.” She stood up straighter and looked up at him stunned. He…he came home early…so she wouldnt worry? Her mind flashed to the morning before and something warm filled her chest. She nodded and murmured that she appreciated it and swore she saw a smile on his face before he continued into his room.

“ Hey um…” She saw him pause again and she took a nervous breath. She wasnt used to this, but…

“ I um…im not that picky when it comes to food…but I dont mind spicy foods, as long as its not deathly spicy. I’m also willing to try most things put out for me to eat at least once…so I’ll at least try to eat most meals…” She glanced back up to see him nod, a small smile now clear on his face.

“ Alright kiddo, I’ll keep that in mind. Try to go to bed before sunrise.” She nodded back and slipped back into her room, somehow feeling a little lighter.

The next couple weeks after that were different for them both. At first it was hard to describe, but things were less stiff so to say. They both came out of theyre rooms more for meals together and…just talked. The talks were awkward as hell at first, but the more they did the more she looked forward to meal time, and the less she dreaded eating. Even though she struggled to open up to the older man she could still find things to talk about. At some point she started cooking again, which she hadn’t done since she took care of her little brother, over five months ago. Dia started when she noticed Dirk skipping meals, lost in his work.So…she started making things and leaving them for him with a reminder to eat. And once his portion was gone she ended up eating what was left for herself, the portion being enough to not make her feel too guilty most nights.

But things were on a better track, Hal pointed out as much one night as Dirk slipped back into the apartment as the clock read 1:00 am. Dirk raised an eyebrow and got a bit of a half smile. “ oh yeah? You really think so huh?”

‘ Yes I do actually. You havent noticed? She’s opening up to us both more than she has in months.’ Dirk nodded with a hum as he made his way to the stairs, listening to hear if Dia was moving about and noticed it was quiet. Maybe for once she managed to fall asleep.

‘ You know, you two are alot alike, at least with your issues and and some of your traumas.’ Dirk paused halfway up the stairs and tilted his head as he thought about it, not exactly responding. But Hal continued on.

‘ I think at this point, the best course of action for you both would be for you two to try having a deeper conversation. It would benefit you both greatly to try discussing and sympathizing over your similar issues. At the very least it would help you both open up more, something we both know is very needed in this apartment.’ He…couldnt really argue with that one.

“ Ya know what? fuck it why not. I’m not going to push her too much but…I’ll give it a shot.”

And he did. When he saw her at breakfast he motioned for her to listen and took a deep breath through his nose, preparing for the worst. He vividly remembered how she could lash out when she felt cornered or afraid, and that was the last thing he wanted.

So he tried as gently as he could, following some of Hal’s advice and the advice of Rose who he’d talked about this with much earlier in the morning for ideas to approach the subject…delicately. He even vaguely put some of his smaller issues on the table first, made them vulnerable which made Hal rather proud of him for.

“ Look Dia…I get it ok? I get the not wanting to talk to anyone about it and the need to be strong and unbreakable. But I also know how that can fuck you up even more. It has for me for years…and…I’ve lost trust with close friends because of it. I did things I still dont forgive myself for trying to bottle it up.” She listened and nodded. Then Dia looked down and touched one of her scarred knuckles and took a deep breath. Then she looked up with an expression he hadnt seen before, it was tired and sad and vulnerable. Suddenly she looked like her age, a broken and exhausted 19 year old who’d been suffering on her own for too long, and he watched her shoulders droop as she spoke as if a weight was starting to lift off them.

“ I…I-I have alot wrong with me Dirk…maybe too much to be fixed…so much you may not want to bother with me if you knew everything…I’m…Im beyond screwed up and I cant even eat anymore without trying to loss the nonexistent weight it brings…I…I’ve done too much I dont deserve this I dont…” She trailed off and Dirk reached out and hesitantly, understandingly placed his hand on her wrist, making her look him in the eyes.

“ Why dont we start by just being screwed up together kid? You arent alone in it anymore…and about the eating, we can work on that first and get you started on recovery however you need it. But lets start small and see how we survive it.” She smiled a little and nodded, relaxing.

“ Yeah, ok.”

A few nights later Dia was tossing and turning again after waking up from another nightmareThis time a light rain drummed on the roof from a small passing storm. She looked at the clock and glared at the two am glaring back at her before sitting up and pulling on her hoodie. Maybe…

She got up and walked over to her door and stepped out, looking at Dirk’s door and expecting him to be out. But what she saw instead was a soft light coming from under the door, signifying he was still home and awake. With a deep breath she walked over and raised her hand to knock, only to pause and stare at the wood. She started doubting her right to interrupt him when their last talk flashed to mind. He had opened up to her a little and she had done the same, they had shared a moment and she felt…closer to him. She didnt feel like a burden as much.

So with more confidence than she had she grabbed the handle and turned it, letting the light wash over her warmly as she gazed at his back, sitting at his desk across the room making something. She only hesitated for a moment before her body relaxed and she smiled a little, taking a step in.

“ H-hey Dirk…I cant sleep…do you mind if I hang in here for awhile?”

She shut the door behind her when she saw him smile while declaring she can have his bed since he’ll be up awhile longer.

She fell into a peaceful sleep that night, feeling safe and at home.

End

Tadaaaa, this took a long while to write but I hope it was worth the wait! And I hope you guys like it!

taglist

@phantommoonpeople @turing-tested

#My writing #homestuck #Homestuck AU #homestuck oc #dirk strider #dave strider #dirk fanfiction #homestuck fanfic #long fic #hal strider #karkat mention

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hobimysun-shine · 5 years

Text

bts as billie eilish songs

I love both artist so much because they are so diverse, so driven and in love with their art, so here’s what my mind created at 2am when i actually gotta study for an exam, but anyhow, enjoy

Jeon Jungkook - Ocean eyes

“Can't stop thinking of your diamond mind Careful creature Made friends with time”

- color scheme: Venice lavender; purple rain; valor blue

- grey clouds, quiet ocean, salty air, cold sand, bare feet, long sweater, careful wind, watery eyes,

- angelic, naive, trusting, incapable of stopping emotions

- a feel of uncertainty for the future, because you still have so much to experience in life, it’s hard to know who to trust, where to go and what your tears mean, who you should give them to

- young love, pain

- it basically speaks of someone who is impressed by another human - love based on instinct and intuition, when you’re young you just feel things, even if you don’t know where these emotions come from (jungkook-namjoon relationship) ;

- trusting someone by the feeling you get around them, without being able to trust your common sense,

- have you seen jungkook’s beautiful, ocean, doe eyes ?? (if not, then wth you doin’ with your life))

Park Jimin - idontwannabeyouanymore

“I just wish you could feel what you say Show, never tell But I know you too well Got a mood that you wish you could sell

Tell the mirror what you know she's heard before I don't wanna be you anymore”

- color scheme: pale smoke; scotch mist; apple blossom

- cold air, morning dew, raindrops at the bottom of your window, the fabric softener your mom uses to wash your sheets, soft breathing on the side of your neck, white mirrors

- self-persuasion, self-critique, inner conflict, serenity, content, libra’s aesthetic approach

- if you have listened to lie and looked at the lyrics, you know why i chose this song for jimin

- you basically get the feeling that the person is speaking to himself in this song, trying to find an answer, as to why he puts himself through all these hardships, when he could break free from this vacuum of perfectionism he created for himself

- let’s be real, we all know what jimin had to go through and maybe is still going through with being too harsh on himself, with his body image and his appearance on stage, i hope he is doing well now and is content with himself, cause he is a 100/10 and we all love him so much

Kim Taehyung - hostage; my boy

“I wanna be alone Alone with you - does that make sense? I wanna steal your soul”

“ My boy's an ugly crier but he's such a pretty liar”

- color scheme: concord purple; red wine; aurum gold

- big windows, night sky, city view, studio apartment, dark walls, smell of acrylic paint, ripped jeans with that paint splattered on them, acoustic guitars on the walls, quiet jazz music, film paper smoke, deep laughter, strong arms around your waist

- artistic freedom, no fear of judgement, mutual understanding, chest butterflies, assurance, hope, soulmates, in tune with your emotions, who cares if the world doesn’t get us, we get us

- hostage just reminds me of two people, who connect on a soul level so much, that what happens is their love turns into mutual engagement, similar to keeping each other as hostages in their hearts, however i wanted to turn the meaning of that song less toxic for taehyung,,

- i believe that if there’s a member that would want to connect with people in such level as the song suggests, it would be taehyung

- as for my boy, idk it just gives me a similar base line as in singularity, and i don’t know it’s just probably my fave song of billie and i feel like it is just taehyung’s vibe when i listen to it

Jung Hoseok - bellyache

“ Everything I do the way I wear my noose Like a necklace I wanna make 'em scared like I could be anywhere Like I'm wreck-less

I lost my mind I don't mind “

- color scheme: marigold yellow; apricot orange; candy red

- summer heat, tan skin, blushed cheeks, endless roads, loose shirts, scratched knees, rich kids away from home, one backpack and a shiny red ford convertible from your bf’s dad’s garage, loud music, lips, swollen from kissing, night fireworks

- fed up with everything, escape from reality, that one summer you will never forget, vibrant love, point of no return, rhythm, gut intuition, boldness

- i don’t know exactly either, it’s just these are the connections i make when i hear this song, and all of that screams hobi to me (aries moon)

- also am i the only one who imagines he would make a killer dance routine to that song (but again he could probably dance to a water drops going down a pipe, so,,)

Namjoon - bury a friend; copycat

“What do you want from me? Why don't you run from me? What are you wondering? What do you know? Why aren't you scared of me? Why do you care for me? When we all fall asleep, where do we go? “

“ Perfect murder, take your aim I don't belong to anyone, but everybody knows my name”

- color scheme: pearl river; silver fox, steel wood

- empty stage, burning projectors slowly being turned off, microphone heavy in your hand, as the words that went though it start to make sense, sweaty hair, footsteps echoing in the vast space, feeling of falling down, unexpected, but comforting hug, security, the calming scent of someone you know in this new environment, tears of fear and excitement at the same time, new life, new beginning

- words said out loud, revenge, mixed feeling of content and fast approaching emptiness, always racing thoughts, insomnia, trying to fill a void, searching for an overall meaning,

- so bury a friend is just has all these questions man. they remind me of rm’s mind. i feel like all of them are things he had already asked himself, or themes he implies in his songs too

- copycat is for namjoon swiftly leading a group that got a ton of criticism in the beginning and is still getting hate, but regardless he manages to stay on top, write what he feels, be a real artist and throw everything people said about bts failing back at their faces

Min Yoongi - lovely ; you should see me in a crown

“Oh, I hope some day I'll make it out of here Even if it takes all night or a hundred years Need a place to hide, but I can't find one near Wanna feel alive, outside I can't fight my fear”

“ You should see me in a crown I'm gonna run this nothing town Watch me make 'em bow One by one by, one”

- color scheme: marble white; smoke ember; royal silver;

- dark room, cold hands, shaky breath, unable to look at each other’s eyes, fear of the outside and the inside, pocket money, long fingers pressing the out-of-tune piano keys, weary smiles, small steps

(....)

steady hands, marble walls, scent of freshly printed documents, looking through a box of old photo albums your mom sent, turning the pages a larger hand stops you from flipping the next page, two teenagers than look awfully like you two are staring back fearfully, low chuckles, eyes full of love

- strong minds, growth, stability, strength, control, prosperity, hard work, passion, ambition

- lovely is in here because i feel like it portrays struggles with mental health and depression very well. you feel trapped and you feel like there is no one else who understands your personal hell and you are the only one who has to find a way for yourself to get out of that place. yoongi has been in such places before as we’ve heard from him and his lyrics, so i though lovely represents his struggles when he was younger

- you should see me in a crown. literally that’s all i can say, he worked for his success and he got it and he deserves it and he is killing it right now

- yall don’t know the amount of respect i got for this man and everything he has been through and i feel like these two songs portray his lowest and his highest in life and take account every struggle along the way and how he truly deserves everything he has right now

Kim Seokjin - when the party’s over

“ Don't you know I'm no good for you I've learned to lose you, can't afford to

Don't you know too much already I'll only hurt you if you let me

Quiet when I'm coming home and I'm on my own I could lie, say I like it like that, like it like that”

- color scheme: night snow, onyx black, muddy grey

- smell of liquor, messy steps, blurred vision, flood of thoughts, the darkest time of the night, dried streams of tears on your cheeks, your boyfriend’s hand quietly holding yours, but them you have to split ways, walking alone on the dead street, cold wind air hitting your face, but you find comfort in it, you reach home, but you can’t seem to go in; so you sit on the sidewalk, looking down; you hear distant steps; he sits down in the snow next to you; the sky slowly, but surely becomes lighter

- quiet sadness, deeper understanding of the world, human relationships seem harder, yet simpler, timeless feeling, a sense of maturity

- this song is just a masterpiece. hear me out, i don’t think i would understand this song as well as i do now, if i have listened to it a few years back. I would have been like “oh yeah it’s sad”

-But like. no. It’s not just sad. It’s a song that shows so much maturity and experience with life that first of all, idk how billie is so young and is able to create music like that. Second of all i don’t think anyone else of bts would fit better to it, than jin

- people tend to overlook his deeper emotions because he tends to distract from them, he always acts “silly” and tells jokes, but i feel like in songs like epiphany and awake we can see that jin really sees the world and his abilities from a much more mature point of view than other members. And i get the same vibe from billie’s song, so i feel like it would fit best for jin.

So actually this was way longer than i planned, but yeah, this is just strictly my opinion and it was just an idea i had at 3am now, as i said, hope it’s fun to read :))

im off to bed, because i’m so sleep deprived i will start hearing colors soon

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pwjins · 7 years

Text

just neighbor things

summary: your new apartment life starts out rather bad, but luckily, your odd friendship with your new neighbor helps keep both yours and his life just a little bit more manageable. member: seongwoo genre: fluff?? neighbor!au??? a/n: i literally have no idea what im doing i’m so sorry insp. by these au prompts!!

congrats

You just got kicked out of your parents’ house

And now you’re trying to haul 50 pounds of stuff into your new and kind of shitty apartment

But as a 3rd year college student with a questionable major

Who has no idea what the fuck they’re doing

This was a pretty good start for you

The rent for the apartment was pretty cheap considering it was small

But anything you could afford with your half assed part time job at the local supermarket was good enough for you

You finally lugged the last of your boxes into your apartment, letting out a heavy breath

Instead of throwing yourself on the floor and rewarding yourself with a nap

You figured you should be a good new neigbor in the apartment complex

So you showered and freshened up, making yourself look less sleep-deprived and somewhat presentable

You rushed out your door and knocked on the door of the apartment to the left of yours

You were hopeful to make some new friends in the complex and get along with your neighbors

Since you’d be living here for a while

However, your hopes went down the drain when you heard the sound multiple cats screeching behind the door

And angry footsteps moving forward and swinging the door open

Which probably would’ve hit you in the face if you didn’t step back

You were faced with an elderly woman, holding a chubby cat in her arms that looked as pissed as she was

Still, you decided to be confident and move on, greeting her with, “hi! my name’s Y/N! i just moved–”

Before you could even finish your introduction she glared at you with her angry old woman eyes and cut you off

“new neighbor? ANOTHER kid?”

You were unable to even respond to her as she kept annoyedly complaning about something like “noisy kids” and “don’t know what they’re doing” and “no decency”

The second she finished her thoughts, she shut the door

Without even greeting you, leaving you alone in the hallway

“nice to meet you too i guess” you mumbled

Okay, so not a great start

But hey you still had your other neighbor to greet who hopefully wasn’t an ass

With new high hopes, you knocked on the door a couple times, waited for a minute or two

But there was no response

You decided to knock a few more times aaaaaand still no response

Giving up, you figured that your neighbor was either dead, asleep, or out of the house

You really hoped it wasn’t the first one

As you were about to turn and head back to your apartment

A voice a couple feet down the hall called out to you

“hey, what’re you in front of my apartment for?” they said, sounding slightly annoyed

You stiffly turned around, not wanting to make yet another bad first impression

You were expecting another angry person to be yelling at you

Boy oh boy you were SO wrong

The second you turned around and faced the person, you swear your heart probably stopped

Oh my god he’s hot

You were faced with a tall guy, subtle dark circles underneath his eyes and a family size bag of hot cheetos in his arms like it was his firstborn son

But oh man did he rock that sleep deprived look

He was probably around the same age as you, college student you assumed

You struggled to get your words out, only managing to sputter, “uhh i’m y/n! i’m your new neighbor?”

He raised an eyebrow, looking at you up and down and completely iGNORED YOU

Before unlocking his apartment door and disappearing inside without saying another word to you

Good job, y/n, first day in and you’ve pissed off both neighbors

He might’ve been cute

But that didn’t mean anything if he was as much of an asshole as the elderly cat woman next door

You sighed and decided to wave the white flag for the day, retreating back into your apartment to rest

Your place wasn’t exactly super well furnished

So at most right now, you had a crappy mattress, some blankets, and your best friend, the coffee maker

But you just had to deal with it until you unpacked everything else so you crashed on your mattress

And scrolled through your social media until you knocked out

As if your first day/night in your new place couldn’t get worse

You heard some loud and rapid knocking at your door, waking you up from your sleep

It was dark inside your apartment and outside the window too

So you pulled out your phone to see what time it was, squinting at your bright screen in the dark

3:17AM

Literally who the fuck was bothering you at 3am

You groaned and threw your blankets off the mattress and got up to head towards the incessant knocking

When you finally got to the door, you threw it open to see the dumbass trying to bother you

“i’m tired what do you wan–” you grumbled, unable to finish your sentence when you saw once again

Your undeniably good looking neighbor from earlier who didn’t look too sober at the moment

He looked pretty disheveled at the moment, but still damn

His brown hair looked slightly messy and he wore a plain t shirt over black jeans, and the three cute little moles on his cheek caught your attention

Before you could even ask if he was okay because he clearly did not look like it

He immediately fell against the doorframe, leaning and holding onto it as to not fall over

And he began rambling endlessly without even giving you a second to comprehend what he was trying to say

“hi i know it’s like 3am i’m so soryr but i’m just really tired and really drunk right now and i dont’ know WHERE my keys are and the old lady next door scares me with her gardening shears so please hav mercy on me and let me crash for the night plus you’re pretty and i know we just met but i think i like you so hi hey how’s it going”

And with that, he fell asleep against the doorframe

what the fuck

One part of you just wanted to leave him there and go back to sleep

But then another part of you didn’t want to be sued for abandoning a helplessly sleep deprived guy

So you tugged him forward so that his body fell over your shoulders and you dragged his RIDICULOUSLY HEAVY BODY into your apartment

jesus christ i just wanted to sleep

You didn’t have any couch or chair to lie him down in

Nor did you have the strength or patience to lug him all the way to your mattress

So you decided just to leave him on the floor by the kitchen and threw a blanket over him

You mentally pat yourself on the back for being a good citizen of the world and crawled back into bed

Right as you were about to fall asleep again, loud snoring began to echo through the apartment

You sighed in regret, contemplating if bringing him in was even a good idea

But you just ignored it and pulled your pillow over your ears and finally got to sleep

The next morning, you tiptoed into the kitchen pouring out some cereal into two bowls and making yourself a mug of black coffee

As you waited for the water to boil, you walked over to the sleeping body in your living room

You squatted down in front of him and nudged his shoulders lightly

He didn’t budge at all so you started nudging him harder, basically almost shaking his shoulders till he started moving

His eyes finally cracked open and he began stretching his arms a bit before sitting up and rubbing his eyes

He looked around your apartment which was stilled filled with boxes and tons of junk lying around

Poor guy looked so confused until he saw you sitting in front of him

“well this doesn’t look like my apartment”

“no shit it isn’t” you replied

“i think you’ve got things backwards, first you wake me up at 3am drunk as hell, crash in my living room, eat my cereal, and i don’t even know your name yet” you said

He struggled to stifle a laugh as you got up to hand him a good ol bowl of Fruit loops and a fork

He accepted the bowl but held up the fork with an eyebrow raised at you

“look i just moved in and i can’t find my spoons so you’re just gonna have to eat with a fork” you shrugged, shoving fruit loops down your throat

“funny because my apartment has all spoons but i can’t find my forks,” he laughed, “the name’s seongwoo, ong seongwoo, but you can just call me ong”

You smiled at his humorous personality– he was definitely growing on you

“y/n, but maybe you would’ve know that already if you didn’t oh so gracefull ignore me yesterday,” you chuckled

“Yeah, sorry about that, running on 2 hours of sleep and hot cheetos can make a guy moody sometimes” he responded

And so began your long morning of eating cereal and talking with your new neighbor, seongwoo

You learned that he was a year older than you and went to college about 15 minutes away from yours

He used to live on the on-campus dorms but got evicted by his roommates after his 2nd year for being too noisy

And apparently the person that used to live your apartment before you came was some middle-aged man that would steal his coupons from the mailbox

So he was relieved that that DEMON was finally gone

His other neighbor was yet another old lady who was overly obsessed with her plants and would try to cut him with her shears if he got too close

The two of you bonded over complaining about old cat lady and old plant lady, laughing over your encounters with them

After demolishing your box of fruit loops and talking all morning, you asked, “hey since i basically housed and fed you for the last 8 hours, can you like please help me unpack”

He happily agreed and you both spent the rest of that afternoon unpacking the boxes and uncluttering the apartment

While you would unload the rest of the plates and bowls into your lower cabinets

seongwoo would be putting away the cups and mugs onto the higher shelves that you couldn’t reach

Finally you had some chairs and other furniture to fill the space so that you weren’t eating on the floor or with forks all the time

You finished unpacking nearly all of the boxes, leaving some in the closet for another day to handle

After you guys finished, you exchanged numbers in case you guys needed something in the future

“if you need anything or need to drunk crash at my place whenever you lose your keys, just knock really loudly,” he laughed, heading out the door and back into his own apartment

Turned out his keys were under the mat the entire time

After that incident, you guys just started depending on each other for a lot of things

Because you guys were basically each other’s only friend in a building of angry elderly women

If you ever needed something from a tall shelf and couldn’t get it, you’d just knock violently on the wall for seongwoo to hear on the other side

If the landlord was inspecting rooms to make sure they weren’t being trashed

You’d help seongwoo hide all of his junk in the closet to make his apartment at least look clean

So that he wouldn’t get evicted from ANOTHER place

Whenever you’d forget to bring one of your textbooks to class, seongwoo had your spare key and was only one text away

Would drive all the way to your school just to drop it off so you didn’t fail chemistry

And of course there were nights where you’d both go out to drink together just for fun and it didn’t matter whose apartment you both crashed in

As long as you could at least get in to one of them

Yeah both of you tend to forget your keys a lot LOL

Studying for your midterms and having a mental breakdown?

No prob, seongwoo’s got you

He’d come over with a bag of hot cheetos, a 6-pack of dr. pepper, and popsicle he bought from some ghetto vendor down the street

“i heard you slamming your head against your textbook from across the wall so i thought i’d come help”

Whenever he was sick of his job at his college’s campus cafe and wanted to go home, you’d call his phone and act like you were his dying relative

So his boss would let him go home early

And MOVIE NIGHTS

Every friday you guys have a ritual where you alternate between crashing at each other’s place and watching a movie until you both fall asleep

To cool off from the stress of being poor, tired students

But sometimes you guys argue over what movies you want to watch

Or what you guys eat as a snack

“bitch you picked the movie last week now give me the remote before i feed your house keys to the neighbor’s cat”

BUT IN THE END YOU GUYS ALWAYS HELP EACH OTHER OUT

Like you could knock on his door at 2AM just to rant

And he would let you in and feed you stale poptarts until you calmed down

Or you guys will do face masks together and do some EXTREME pore cleansing while watching reality tv shows

The only thing you guys can’t depend on each other for though is food

One time you barged into seongwoo’s place and begged, “i’m out of food please help i really can’t adult today”

And he’d laugh at you and say, “you know the funny thing about this is that you ACTUALLY think i can cook,” as he pulls out ramen cups out of his cupboard

and oh boy y’all are just really cute n friendly neighbors that help each other out

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prplzorua · 7 years

Text

Clingy

It had been a very weird week. There was nothing going on really, everything was very chill and Virgil found it a tad bit confusing. Not in a bad way, mind you but in a peculiarly calm way? Videos had already been uploaded and Thomas was taking a well deserved break. After he took a long nap, the host opted to just lounge around the house, something Anxiety was very content with, especially since Joan and Talyn would pop in every now and again. The only problem with this was that it left the emo in a...buzz?. The weird buzzing feeling wasn't bad just odd. It reminded him of that feeling that comes right before you fall asleep. Just the thought of it made him yawn. Absolutely refusing to waste a good opportunity for a nap, that and not wanting to fall on his face, Virgil moved to lay on the couch in the common area. Placing on his headphones and closing his eyes, the dark side drifted off to sleep. ----- It didn't take long for Logan and Patton to walk into the commons. Pat of course was the first one to spot the sleeping persona. Gingerly he moved next to the tired trait and gently shook his arm. Anxiety's eyes opened a smidge. "Hey kiddo know that a nap sounds nice right about now, but wouldn't it be more comfortable for you to sleep in your bed rather than the couch?" Virgil didn't reply instead, he streched out his arms and made some sleepy grabby hand motions. Patton of course was all to happy to comply, the emo was always clingy when he was sleepy. Dad smiled as he began helping the younger up, in a half lean-half standing position. The half awake side wobbled a bit before simply wrapping his arms around the Father's waist in a hug. "D'aaw" Pat gave the younger a pat on the head. "Come on let's get you to bed, right Logan?" Apparently Anxiety didn't realize Logic was there until Morality had mentioned him. Slowly the youngest trait turned to the teacher with half lidded eyes and stretched out his hand. He managed to grip the Logical side's watch, holding onto it firmly as he dragged him towards himself and Patton. Logan of course tried to back away but unfortunately failed, as tired as he was, Virgil was rather strong. The emo successfully dragged the trio into a group hug-well, he dragged them together, Patton was the one who wrapped his arms around the two. "Aww, group hugs are the best!" Smiled the Father all giddy like. Logan rolled his eyes fondly, his cheeks were currently a small tinge of red. "Yes, I suppose they are", he murmured distractedly as he stared entrancedley at Patton, they were still hugging. "Yep, an' now *yawn* Princey owes me fifty dollars" Both Parent and Teacher jumped after hearing a small camera shutter sound. Turning they saw (a still sleepy) Virgil off to the side and on his stairs with his phone still in the pose of taking the picture. Both 'adults' were very confused as to how the youngest trait managed to escape them so easily. "How...how did you, do that-?" Stuttered Logic shocked. Patton's face was easily mimicking that of his counter part. The dark personality smirked clicking finger guns before heading up the stairs. Patton and Logan just blinked. After a moment Dad sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "You know, sometimes I wonder about that boy" Logic pushed his glasses up. "I believe this is what happens when he gets too sleep deprived" "Probably Teach", shrugged Patton as he moved to sit on the couch, "you up for some Office re-runs?" "Sure" ---- It was late into the evening when Patton called them down for dinner. Logan was the only one who came down. Roman was off questing so the Father didn't expect him to show up but Virgil couldn't possibly still be asleep, right? Popping into the younger's room with a knock, the Parental was surprised to find that Anxiety was not in his room. Frowning he checked with Thomas. The host was absent-mindedly watching TV, Virgil was nowhere to be found. Now worried if the youngest had, for some reason, deemed it necessary to 'duck' out again, Patton quickly grabbed Logan and went to look for Roman. This way all three of them could go find Virgil. ----- Virgil couldn't sleep, he had managed to drift off for a couple minutes on the couch but now he just wasn't able to slip into unconsciousness. Sighing he got up and headed to the one place that made him feel calm. It was a small cove like area in Roman's Kingdom. It was always nice and quiet, he was pretty sure it was inspired by 'How to Train Your Dragon' but he digressed. He found his usual "seat" a small space between large thick leaved trees. There were four things about this spot that always made him comfortable. There was a tree on the left, a tree on the right and a tree further back making a surprisingly straight triangle. Here's were it got better, just before the "back tree" as he called it, was a stump, it was smooth flat and decently round, perfect for sitting on. And with him sitting there he could easily and comfortably lean his back on well, 'the back tree'. His spot was just perfect, no rain could get in because all the thick leaves were huge and angled downwards and away from the stump. It wasn't too dark, nor to bright and the air was always fresh, especially when it rained, which coincidentally, it was now. Sitting down on the stump and leaning back on the tree, Virgil relaxed to the sight, sounds and smells of the rain. ---- Patton had all to easily found Roman, he was in the midst of saving a Princess from a Dragon. At the sight of his two-not three-counterparts Princey moved faster. The Dragon didn't even see it coming and soon ducking, rolling and dodging meant Prince ended up with a beheaded fire breathing reptile. Even Logan was impressed with the tact and skill the Royal used. With the Princess saved and sent on her way home via Roman's horse. The Royal joined his two elder personas and set off to find Virgil. ---- He was startled out of a light doze when something brushed against his fingers. Eyes snapping open Anxiety bit back a curse only to see that it was a harmless, though slightly wet rabbit sniffing his fingers. A rare warm smile graced his lips as he reached down to stroke the fluffy creature. It let him pet it for a few times before hopping over and sitting on his shoe covered feet, seemingly quite content. Virgil chuckled and let the rabbit be, it was warm and his toes were getting cold anyway. He leaned back again only to realize that there was more than just a rabbit with him. There was a mother duck and her ducklings, a couple toads, a tortoise of all things and two deer, a mother and a fawn. All trying to get out of the rain and his spot was apparantly very good for that. He stayed quiet, happy that the creatures trusted him enough to come close. He was about to close his eyes again, when from out of his peripherals he saw something getting tossed by the wind. The next thing he knew, something small and wet had crashed onto his chest. Frowning he looked into his lap to see the wet and shivering mess that was a bluebird. The creature had pretty little green eyes and one very dark feather that may have very well been navy blue. Gently Anxiety picked up the shaking creature and helped dry it off using his hoodie sleeves. All the other animals seemed intent on staring at him during the process but for once he didn't mind the attention. By the time he finished the little bird was a little puff ball. Laughing, he gently smoothed down the creature's feathers and it chirped out a thank you before fluttering to his shoulder and nuzziling his cheek. He held out a finger and the blue bird perched on it. "You're one of Roman's birds aren't you?" He received and affirmative chirp. "Hmm, *yawn* I wonder what he's up to..." The bird didn't respond this time, not that it mattered to him, all he knew was that he was warm and the smell of the rain was making him sleepy. He barely noticed when the bird flew off his finger, his eyes had already slipped closed. ---- The blind search hadn't gone on for long when the trio was stopped...by a blue bird? Logan was utterly confused as to why this little creature was chirping at them, well more accurately chirping at Roman. "It says that 'the dark one' wants to know what I'm doing" translated Prince with a frown. "The Dark one as in a Witch or Virgil?" Asked Patton with a quirked brow. "I don't know, let me ask" "Roman I highly doubt a bird is going to tell us where-" "It says that 'the dark one' looks like us, im willing to bet it's Virgil, let's follow it" With that Roman took off, Patton following. "Right behind you kiddo!" Logan rolled his eyes, thoroughly questioning his mental state to be following a bird. ---- "Shh, don't wake him" "Don't disturb the animals either" "Well we have to get to him somehow" Virgil opened a bleary eye at hearing voices. Dad was the first to notice, nudging his elbow onto Prince's side, he tilted his head, gesturing to the youngest. "Ro, he's up, go get him" As much as the Royal wanted to grumble, this was his Kingdom, the animals were less likely to attack him for moving their new ward. Gently he moved towards the sleepy emo and removed the rabbit from off his feet. Virgil, still very much half-actually less than that-awake, streched out his hands and made grabby hand motions at Roman. The Prince smiled and easily picked him up bridal style, the emo happily curled onto his chest and drifted off. Roman bit back a chuckle, Virgil was always clingy when he was tired. ----- Tag list: @anxietyandlogic @thebrightsun @trashsinsunrelenting @randomslasher @pretty-mr-sanders @the-sanders-sides @pippa-frost @k9cat @notallpotatoesarefrenchfries @tssanderssidestrash @thuriweaver anyone who wants to be tagged let me know and if I accidentally tagged you and you want off the list, tell me, I was Falling asleep with the tag list so I probs put peeps on here that didn't ask ^^' SRRY BOUT THAT

#sanders sides #sleepy Virgil #fic #my fic #he tired

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kinetic-elaboration · 7 years

Note

Prompt 84 "im dying" clarke saying it to bellamy

Bellarke, Canon-verse future fic, ~1,100 words

For the prompt, “I’m dying” from this list.

I was torn between taking this not at all literally (like “I just went on a long run and now I’m dying!”) and utterly literally, and went for something n between. Rest assured that no one dies in this fic.

On AO3.

Bellamy’sdaily routine has long involved stopping by medical in the afternoon to seeClarke. But only for the last week has his wife been a patient, instead of oneof the doctors just getting off shift.

He’smore than familiar, by now, with the sick, the wounded, the hopeless, thedying. Years on the ground, years in the Guard, have given him macabreexperience. He’s gotten pretty good at knowing what to say in almost everycircumstance. But not this one.

“Hey,”he greets her, pulling a chair over and coming to site down by her bedside.They reach for each other’s hands on instinct. He judges by the strength of hergrasp how well she’s feeling: weak today, but holding on. Clarke is a fighter; thisis what she does.

“Hey,”she echoes. Her face is pale, a light sheen of sweat across her cheeks andbrow, and her hair is pulled back in a messy braid that someone who’s no goodwith hair must have helped her with. His fingers itch to fix it. Maybe latershe’ll let him. But she smiles anyway when she sees him and tries to sit up.

Theyhave this argument, wordless now, every time he comes to visit. She wants toforce herself up, scrambling with the heel of her free hand for purchaseagainst the sheets, and he wants her to conserve her energy, to stay safe rightwhere she is.

Today,he wins, but he doesn’t always.

Clarkesettles back against the pillows with a put-out sigh and rolls her gaze up tothe ceiling. “Fine, fine,” she murmurs. But she’s up again in anothersecond, not of her own volition this time, coughing violently, fitfully.Bellamy holds her hand through it, his other arm around her, keeping her steadyuntil she can regain her breath, soothing her with wordless murmurs until she’scalm.

Hewaits a few more moments, then asks, “How are you feeling?” whichmight be a dumb question, everything considered. But he asks it every day. It’sanother part of their new routine.

Sheshrugs and tries to smile. “Like yesterday. Maybe a little worse. Tell meabout your day.”

AllClarke ever wants to hear about is his day, his work, the village, theirfriends: life outside medical, life beyond her small life. When she’s healthy,Clarke keeps her fingers in everything. She keeps up with every aspect ofArkadian life, with the Council (even though she’s not a member), with theschool (even though she has no children), with farming, with engineering, withthe Guard. It’s not that she’s a control freak, even though she is, and sheknows it well enough to laugh about it by now, but because after years beingconstricted by responsibility and by necessity, she can finally let theboundless curiosity she carries within her free.

Shecan finally love Earth, purely and truly.

SoBellamy tells her about the latest gossip and the latest debates and about allof the unimportant, minute details of his day. Anything to make her feel likeshe was with him, instead of in bed, stuck, waiting.

Shecloses her eyes while she listens, and eventually, not even sure if she’s stillawake, his words falter into silence. He just sits next to her, hand still inher hand, watching the faint twitching of her eyes beneath her eyelids and therise and fall of her chest.

“Bellamy?”

Hervoice, quieter than a whisper, a little ragged at the edges but still gentleand soft, startles him from a precarious line of thought.

Heleans in a little closer. “I’m still here.”

“Iknow.”

Hereyes flutter open again, and she stares up at him, a dark and serious expressionclouding her face.

“Ineed to tell you something.”

Hepulls his chair closer still and leans all the way over her, poised for thesharing of secrets. They’ve shared so many. Fears, confessions. Earlydeclarations of love. Vulnerabilities that no one else could even guess.

Clarkerolls over onto her side, curled up onto herself, and holds his hand in both ofher hands now. “Bellamy,” she says again, “I’m dying.”

Hejust shakes his head. “No. You’re not. You’re just sick with something—”

“Wedon’t know what. Everything the Earth’s thrown at us—is it so hard to believeit’s something deadly?”

“Yes.It’s very hard to believe, so don't—”

“Justlisten to me.”

Hefalls silent, huffs out a short breath through his nose, and tilts down hishead. He stares at the edge of her bed and at a bit of the floor, which feelsunbearably distant even though he can feel it beneath his feet. They might aswell be floating. His head feels light, his body mere illusion.

“Ican feel it. I’m dying.”

Hedoesn’t try to argue with her anymore. It’s no use. He doesn’t believe it,won’t believe it until she takes her final breath or maybe even after, butClarke is stubborn and she’ll argue with him right to her grave, or his. Whenshe feels better, he thinks, she’ll drop this absurdity. They didn’t surviveyears of hunger, deprivation, war, betrayal, years of the savagery of space andEarth, for either of them to be felled by something little worse than the flu.

Later,when she falls asleep, he slowly gets to his feet again. Stretches out his soreand cramped up limbs. For another long moment, he stares down at her, watchesher restless sleep and pushes down the guilt he always feels at leaving her,even for a few hours, even for a moment.

Jacksonis coming on shift as he reaches the door, and Bellamy stops him for a momentwith one hand to his arm. “Tell me the truth,” he says, outright,because to hell with pleasantries: “how’s she doing? Is she going to makeit?”

“Didshe tell you she thinks she won’t?” Jackson asks in return, pausingmid-motion as he puts on his medical coat. Bellamy doesn’t answer, butsomething stony and closed off in his face is all the response Jackson needs.He pulls his other arm through its sleeve and says, “Doctors make theworst patients, Bellamy. I wouldn’t give up hope yet. It’s far too early totell.”

Bellamyglances back over his shoulder, as Clarke, in her sleep, twists and turns overto her other side. She’s so restless, he thinks, fighting back the fever evennow.

That’show he knows that Jackson’s right. He won’t abandon hope until she does. And nomatter what she says, she hasn’t yet.

#bellarke #bellarke fanfiction #bellamy blake #clarke griffin #the 100 #my writing #mine #answers #anonymous

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theradioghost · 7 years

Text

my-inside-out-thoughts replied to your post “one day when i’m sleep deprived and emotional ill post my essay on why...”

Please

as it happens im sleep deprived and emotional tonight, so you know what? looks like im triple posting

(be advised that this is 1500 words of ramble that starts too personal and ends too pretentious, but god damn, guys, I love Mick Mercury, and here is why:)

so most of the reason im audio drama and Noir Garbage (tm) is that about age 15, when I was severely depressed and so deep in my anxiety I literally went weeks at a time without talking to people, one of my coping mechanisms was old radio serials. mostly noir, specifically Chandler adaptations, Yours Truly Johnny Dollar, Broadway Is My Beat, Dragnet, and Boston Blackie (also Gunsmoke but my deep and abiding love for Matt Dillon is a different post). I felt like the world was falling apart for me personally and also on a global scale, and the world of noir made a weird kind of sense to me at the time? you had these characters who were the only people who seemed to see that the world was Shit, that it was Bad, that innocent people were getting hurt, that everyone was alone and especially them. noir detectives were my emo phase, is what I’m saying.

except they did something? the world was mean and out to get them and they kept fighting anyway, week after week (thanks, weekly serial format), and they lost, and it sucked, but even when there’s literally no suggestion that they’re doing it out of a sense of hope, those characters kept going. that made sense to me, at the time, as a kind of heroism. that sort of deep-down, dark, burning need to keep standing up against the big, bad world, even when it did absolutely nothing, because someone had to. that was an idea that got me through a lot of bad days.

(this is also why terry pratchett’s Watch books mean so much to me, but again: another essay entirely.)

so it was really, really cool at first to find the penumbra, because here it was – everything I’d ever felt, every part of myself I’d ever seen in that shit I ate up as a scared kid, and it was explicit and deliberate, and on top of that it embraced the things about me that old noir never would, I could see myself in it as a queer girl, too, and on top of all that it was in space

(I love the Penumbra so much, you guys,)

and then I got to The Day That Wouldn’t Die, and I cried, because I was wrong

noir privileges the narrator’s viewpoint. you get those infamous first-person monologues, the jaded detective who is, as I said, the only person who sees the world as it really is – dark, and mean, and merciless. and of course, I assumed that the Penumbra was the same way, because that’s certainly what Juno thinks is the case. but it’s not. It’s not at all. because Juno is wrong about his world, and Mick Mercury is the proof.

because the other thing about noir is that it’s expressionistic – in other words, because of that pesky first person, the outside world comes to resemble the narrator’s inner world. we see Hyperion City through Juno’s eyes. and Juno isn’t a reliable narrator. Juno is depressed and depression is a fucking liar. Juno’s wrong. or at least, Juno isn’t entirely right.

Mick Mercury grew up in the same awful, awful place that Juno did, and he didn’t even get to leave it. he’s been poor and in debt his whole life. it doesn’t sound much like he gets along too well with his dad. he had a childhood just as terrible and at least one best friend who beat up on him. but what else do we know about Mick? well, we know that Dark Matters didn’t need a plan to specifically lure Juno into their scenario. it’s apparently a safe bet that if you give Mick Mercury money for drinks, he’s gonna invite his best friend. (and juno will come, too.) And he didn’t do it for the anniversary, either; he did it because he cares about Juno and worries about him and wants to spend time with him.

(strike one against the worldview of juno “I am a bad person and Alone” steel; Mick has seen him at his worst and loves him very, very much.)

also, mick has been actively worrying about juno??? (same.) he immediately compliments juno’s shitty stuff and he means it? he’s always, always sincere. and furthermore, he’s fucking terrified the whole episode. Juno’s a hardened ex-cop who gets shot at regularly and Sasha is a badass secret agent. Mick is not these things! Mick puts rollerblades on dogs! He’s also being physically and emotionally tortured with one of the worst days of his life. He gets shot, almost loses a leg in the tubes, then gets dragged off underwater by a nightmare monster version of himself and concussed, all this time terrified of monsters – and he tries to convince them to leave him and save themselves. When juno does this, it is, tbqh, very much wrapped up in juno’s hurting and Issues. Mick’s doing it out of love and bravery and he inspires the same thing in his friends, too.

And after all of this??? this awful, awful day?? His immediate first priority is going straight back to his original goal: Is Juno okay? Make Juno talk to someone about not being okay. And Juno throws some pretty horrible stuff at him, too, and his response is to give?? Some really good advice, honestly. And sure, we know that Mick’s memories of their childhood aren’t exactly accurate, but why does that mean that Juno’s are? Mick struggles with metaphors and with other people’s emotions in conversation. Mick’s goofy and kind and cares about others and sees the good in things and people. But the thing is, that doesn’t make him naïve, or foolish, or wrong. he turns out to be wise and insightful enough to surprise juno there, doesn’t he? Mick himself is proof that there is good, real good, to see in people in Hyperion City.

Juno came out of Oldtown traumatized and Sasha came out hard and Mick didn’t get out at all and this is still what he’s like.

despite everything he’s been through Mick is selfless, caring, sincere, resilient, hopeful. And furthermore, he doesn’t just be these things. Because Mick Mercury is first and foremost a storyteller. Mick has hopes and dreams of better things, and Mick sees better things in the world already around him, and all he does is share that with others. Mick makes kids dream. Mick gives Juno hope. Mick Mercury tells stories that he believes in so deeply that they become true – stories about monsters, yeah, but also stories about good people. Mick believes so much in a better world that he’s already living there. It becomes real around him.

And after Mick, so much else became apparent to me – mainly Nureyev. Nureyev, who I was so sure was going to pull a true Femme/Homme Fatale and vanish again or break Juno’s heart or ultimately thwart him – that’s what that archetype does! But Nureyev isn’t an homme fatale. He’s been through unfathomable pain, had his moral compass severely screwed up by his weird criminal dad and his upbringing on a hell planet where every crime gets the same absolute punishment, and he still thinks the universe is a beautiful place. He decides, on his own, that Mars needs saving. He falls in love with people and with places – really, really, deeply in love. He sees so much in the universe that’s worthwhile that he’s running through it nonstop trying to see and love every bit of it that he possibly can. Mick and Peter look at the same world Juno does and see something very, very different, and Juno’s not wrong when he sees pain, when he sees injustice, when he sees cruel people and moral indifference, and there are reasons why that’s the world that he sees, but that doesn’t mean it’s the whole and only truth.

I love Mick Mercury because he made me realize that Juno Steel doesn’t live in a noir universe at all. he just lives inside of a very, very noir Juno Steel. And I feel like I’m fifteen again, I feel like Juno Steel at fifteen, hearing hopes that the world can be better. that it already is. and just because there are still days (because now especially, there are days) when I look at the world and the whole thing seems so totally, irretrievably, impossibly dark doesn’t mean that’s true. There are good things out there, good things inside us, shining cities and constellations and love, even if it’s hard to see them right now. and when we can, we tell the stories. and when we can’t, we listen to someone else tell them to us. and we keep telling em till we get there.

#my-inside-out-thoughts #monotreme monologue #the penumbra podcast #listen this is terrible but also listen: i cry about bartholomew 'mick' 'king of the freeway' mercury on a daily basis #the grandest hotel this side of nowhere #Bobbie Is A Mess All Over Her Blog

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