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whumpering-heights · 2 years

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Waking Nightmare, pt.1: The First Encounter

[A/N: Okay listen. I know I have WIPs. But I do not control when inspiration strikes. This originally started as an AU for something, but it got so out of hand, Im making it an orginal series. (It's sooo far removed from the original, I built it from the ground up.) This series will be set in a kinda eldritch horror universe. Masterlist will be linked by the next installment.

CWs: gun threat, gunshot wound, cannibalism mention, body horror, monster whumpee, parental abuse, brief starvation mention

The creature was chasing a dream.

Because of what he was, he could cross the veil between realms in his sleep, and roam about in people’s nightmares. They didn’t always start as bad dreams, but they changed into one as soon as he’d appear.

A while back, he had stumbled into a strange set of dreams. He wasn't sure when, exactly, time was so very hard to keep track of. But he had stumbled through the usual nightly terrors that plagued humans in this realm. And that's when he saw him: the man who smelled like him.

The creature could smell his own blood, and that of others. His and Mother's were similar, but not completely. There was Something Else there, and as soon as he had entered the man’s dream, he’d recognized it. He would go to rest, hoping and wishing that he could get linked up with the peculiar man again.

It had been a long time since he had been curious. His life was fairly straightforward: listen to Mother, breach the veil for her and bring back humans for her, eat when she allows it. Any deviation from this only resulted in getting shot by humans, if he was lucky. If he wasn’t, if he failed, Mother would get upset. The mere thought of that caused a pang of pain in his gut, and he almost turned back right there.

But the man would not leave his thoughts. Would he smell the same outside of his dreams, as well? Or would he just be another sack of meat? The creature pressed his wrist against his snout and sniffed. Mother was in his blood, which calmed him. And that Something Else spurred him forward.

Just a quick visit. Time was so solid in the other realm, he could be in and out before Mother even noticed. She hadn’t told him to hunt yet, she was smart, she knew when and where he’d be safe. But he had to risk it, just once. There was just enough of him left to be curious, and not enough to truly understand how scared he was supposed to be.

As he closed his eyes and breached the veil with a gasp, he debated what skin to use. He settled on his favorite: the boy he had once been. He didn’t remember when he had once looked human; it was so long ago and he had been so small. But the shapeshifter could feel the difference between faces that were his and ones that weren’t.

Any form that wasn’t his stalking, many-mouthed default was difficult to maintain, the shape becoming fluid the second he was distracted. But if he wanted to move about without getting shot, he had to blend in.

So he clamped one claw over his maw and tried to keep in the growls of pain as his bones shifted. Familiar faces like his own were the quickest, but that didn’t mean they didn’t hurt. His voicebox made a cracking noise as it shifted within him, and his suppressed howls became higher in pitch and less gravely.

In the end, his face was that of a young man, with large, haunted eyes with black pupils that seemed to soak in the light, rather than reflect it. He didn’t think he had ever been human at this age, yet the mask fit so much better than others; it had to be his. He was gaunt, had trouble pushing down the urge to walk on all fours, and wore a completely blank face, but it was his best shot at fitting in.

He sniffed the air, trying to find his prey. Wait no, he didn’t want to hunt the Something Else man. At least, he didn’t think he did. Because if he ate him, the strange blood would be gone, and he would just be Mother. So no eating, today. Unfortunately. Maybe someone else, later.

He tried to smell the air again. There! It was so very faint, but now that he knew what he was looking for, it was unmistakable. Drool formed in his mouth, and he tried to remind himself that this wasn’t a hunt for food. No matter how long it had been since he had last eaten, he should not devour his target today.

Sniffing the air, he followed the trail. It was very faded, so he was surprised when the source was closer than he thought.

It wasn’t the man. It was someone he recognized, though: the blonde man with glasses had appeared in several Something Else’s nightmares. Usually, he was hurt or trapped. Must be someone important to him, then. His blood was distinctive and separate, so then why could the creature still smell the trail on him?

He tried to follow the man walking down the street from a distance. Not making a sound, which was hard on just two legs, he tried to get a closer whiff. Was it the big black woolen coat? It seemed like the trail was wafting from it, though the smell was muted. Follow the coat, find the prey? The man paused, and so did the creature. He was still a good few steps away, and he was wearing his human face. He wouldn't suspect anything, right? He recovered and continued walking. If he passed the coat, he would just take another face and trail him again. The man glanced over his shoulder. Instead of the expected neutrality, his smell suddenly turned sharp. His eyes were wide, adrenaline in the air, causing the creature to step in a lower stance by reflex.

Why did the coat guy react that way? Had he messed up his disguise somehow? No, it was his own old face, those were so easy to maintain, as long as he didn’t get scared.

The man with glasses turned around, the air positively vibrating with his anger and fear, despite his calm face.

“Hello there. Ray doesn’t have any living relatives, so might I ask why you have his face?”

There was a question, but there were too many words for the creature to understand what he meant beyond his suspicious tone. His hand went inside his coat, and the creature’s brain switched off in a second.

Gun. He was found, and a Gunperson from the agency was going to yell and shoot and try to take his prey. He shook off his disguise to fight, roaring through the pain of his bones snapping into place. Sure enough, the man was carrying one of those square barreled guns with special bullets that could hurt beings like him. Luckily, because normal bullets don’t hurt him properly, these guns were just a bit slower. A few extra seconds was all he needed. He was able to dodge the first bullet, just barely, and charged forward. His claws dug tracks in the sidewalk, and his needle-mouthed maw opened wide to snap at the firing arm.

But the man was fast. The creature screeched in pain as the bullet shot clean through the side of his stomach. He fell on the concrete, his shriek of pain racketing off the buildings.

Come on, he had worse. It was just flesh. Get up, catch the prey, fetch it for Mother- a knee pressed between his shoulder blades, pressing his face into the blood-splattered ground. The gun pressed against the back of his head and clicked in warning. Even with his eyes frenzied with instinct, the creature understood: the man could fire the second he wanted to. He froze, a low whine in his throat.

He didn’t understand why the man hadn’t shot yet. He could very clearly taste the anger coming off him in waves. Did he play games, just as Mother liked to? He didn’t know humans could be the player, too. He had never been the prize, and he didn't like it much. The barrel of the gun pressed against his head until it hurt.

“That’ll teach you to steal my boyfriend’s face.” The man said through gritted teeth, and he aimed the gun at a better angle.

The creature whimpered, and tried to shape his vocal cords into a shape that could speak. In his hurry, it came out raspy and barely comprehensible.

“No, mine! Mine, face, it’s mine!’

The man didn’t shoot yet, which he counted as a win. The gun didn’t move a millimeter, though.

“So, what, did you go to summer school? I didn’t know you lot could speak.”

He seemed caught off guard. His voice had just the slightest hint of hesitation, or maybe curiosity.

When the creature looked human, they were kinder. That is, they didn’t shoot him on sight or scream and run away. So, while keeping his claws flat on the concrete, he started to shift back. But as soon as he started, the pistol whip made his skull ring with pain.

“Don’t you dare wear his face again.”

The creature went back to his default form, and tried to make his voice sound more human, at least. Words were hard: Mother didn’t let him speak a lot, and humans mostly screamed at him. So most of his words came from visiting dreams. He frantically racked his brain for the right ones to pick. His voice sounded human, despite his oversized jaw not being shaped for it. He was monotone, as he never understood how to do that properly.

“I come for Something Else in my blood. No Mother. I smell it, on your coat. I didn’t even want to eat, just to see.”

The man took a second to digest his words.

“That person you call: ”mother”... That must be Morgan. Is that who you’ve been stealing people for?”

“Yes! Yes, not now. I didn’t go for eat or for fetch. Now I am secret, here.” He pointed a finger and sushed, not brave enough to move his hand to his face while the gun was still pressed to his throbbing head.

“So, let me get this straight,” asked the man, “You can speak, which we didn’t think was possible. You also seem to actually understand me. Which... hurts my brain, to be honest. You’re not here to serve your.. Creator, or whatever you call her. You went here by your own accord?”

“Accord? Word, I don’t have it.”

“Let me put it this way. Would she be happy you are here?”

“No, no no no no. Angry, pain, I go fast back before she knows.”

“Right. And what about the coat? What does Ray have to do with it? Why steal his face?”

The creature didn’t emote often, but he found a frown form on his face.

“No, mine! Didn’t steal. Before, before the change, I was small, look like that. The coat smells like me, but also not. The Something Else, in my blood.”

He was a little out of breath. These were the most words he had ever spoken. He was feeling lightheaded. Though, that could also be the bullet wound that was still spilling black, viscous blood on the pavement.

The man was silent for a very long time. Sometimes, he would re-aim the gun a bit, causing the creature to shudder, but he never pulled the trigger. By the time he spoke again, the creature was starting to feel like he might faint.

“Rebecca Morgan... Well, what's left of her... The being you call ‘mother’. She... She isn’t your literal mother, is she?”

“Is. She made me.”

“And you’re saying you used to look human?”

“Long ago. She remade me, then. Bigger, sharper, this. I can change my flesh. But I have a human face, too. It’s mine, not stealed.”

Then, at last, something changed in the grip on the gun. It trembled. The man took a deep breath. The creature couldn’t take the opportunity to strike back: everything was starting to get fuzzy around the edges. He felt the man fumble for something with his free hand, and a second later he was calling someone.

“Hey, darling. I sound weird? Well. That ex of yours who disappeared into the Other Realm? Yeah, her. Did you guys use protection?” A beat of silence, and a bitter tone to the man’s next question.

“Are you sure about that?”

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duketectivecomics · 4 years

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You might've answered this already and I just didn't find it, but one thing that always perplexed me about Duke was how old he was in comparison to the other Batkids. It's obvious he's younger than Dick and Babs, and I pretty sure he's younger than Jason and Cass, and older than Damian, but I cannot tell if he's meant to be Tim and Steph's ages, younger, or older. Could you help me?

You’re all kinds of good here, anon!!! I answered a similar ask abt the Order of Adoption but didn’t dive into specific ages on that post BECAUSE well they didn’t ask lmaooo but ALSO:

Comic ages are very fluid usually! While Years™️ might pass in the canon proper, or while time seems to slow to a crawl, having a character’s age outright stated is something that occurs very rarely for most characters, if at all!

Because it’s always much easier to have a floating age range to work and play around in! It’s easier to keep a character Perpetually 12 or 16 or 25 or mid-40s or- you get the idea. SO, with that in mind. Let’s do our Best to Break Down What Age Duke Might Be Currently A N D how it might interact with the Other Batkids!

(Warning for a Very Long Post, lots of issue citations, and a LOT of comics terminology regarding specific runs/events/continunity. I’m gonna try to keep it as clear/concise as possible ofc but plz keep these things in mind! If you’re not at least marginally familiar with Bat-Comics, you might find yourself feeling a little lost here!)

So from the Zero Year arc we see a common Trend that plays out pretty consistently with Batfam comics: a Life-Changing Event Occuring while the protag is Young™️.

(Batman (2011) #30)

With how Duke is drawn in these particular issues, and given the trends of the past, I’d place him in the 8-12 range. The historic precedent being ofc that that is the same range that canon usually places both Bruce and Dick at for their Tragedies™; the more benign reason being that he... just very much Looks to be drawn in that Range. He’s very clearly an Older/Prepubescent child here.

Fast Forward to his Next Appearance in the Endgame arc and-

(Batman (2011) #37)

He’s definitely older! He’s wiser! And he’s giving Batman a fistbump lmao. Again, no strict age given here BUT, since they condensed each Robin to a Year or Two tops with Bruce (its n52 and its fucked up is what it is), we can assume it’s been at least 4-5 since Zero Year (which would mean if we go off the age range I proposed for that year, then theoretically he could be anywhere from 12-16 here, and I think that tracks pretty well. Not Perfectly and Certainly Not so well with Pre52 continuity ofc, but I’ll talk about that later!)

In We Are Robin, while its not stated Directly In The Text, it IS given as an Informational Tidbit that Duke is 16 (specifically this can be found at the end of issue #4)! (Sweet sweet canon confirmation FINALLY)

We know that WAR takes place Fairly Soon after Endgame (almost immediately, give or take a month or two given that Duke’s been placed in a few foster homes at this point and has racked up Quite A File) now, again id like to remind y’all that while this is a NICE starting point to have, keep in mind that comics are fluid and this may be retconned slightly/ignored in later stories bc Keeping Duke 16-ish is in DC’s Best Interest at the moment. (Having Relatable Teen Characters afterall is a Good Marketing strategy™️. And the longer they can Keep them Young, the Better)

With that in mind let’s take a moment to Highlight the fact that Duke and Damian have crossed paths at this point AND the storylines that have occurred during this year that were meant to be in conjunction with one another!

Because Prior to Endgame, Damian had Died! And just a year (in real, meat-space time) before We Are Robin, he was resurrected and had begun his “Year of Atonement” in the Robin: Son of Batman maxiseries. Midway through both this series and WAR (and, we can assume, midway thru this “Year” for Damian) the Robin War begins/ends and we see at least one major Moment between these two boys who will soon call one another brothers:

(Robin War #2)

Given that R:SoB is followed up VERY quickly by Teen Titans Rebirth (in which Damian celebrates his 13th birthday), we can conclude that Damian would be 12 during this time (well, 12 and 1/2 to play it safe lmao). That being said, this Confirms about a 4yr gap between Duke and Damian! (One Batkid down at least! but he’s the key to the others so put a pin in him!)

As We Are Robin draws to its conclusion, DC was releasing another arc that would eventually flow into the Rebirth Era, by the end of which, Bruce would approach Duke with an Idea (which involves Bruce becoming Dukes temporary guardian & as he states Many Times “Trying Something New” with Duke).

And thus the Rebirth Era begins, and Duke began his Year of training (most directly encapsulated by the Cursed Wheel arc in the All-Star Batman run:

(All-Star Batman #1 (back-up story))

Bruce introduces Duke to a training regimen that Alfred has named “the Cursed Wheel”. It encompasses all the training Bruce and the other bats have undergone and condenses it down into color-coordinated segments that will take Duke a Year to Complete.

It can be assumed that by the End of this Year Duke will somehow miraculously still be 16, despite, again, an entire ass year passing.

There’s one story that takes place mid-year in All-Star Batman, and the Cursed Wheel is meant to be capped off by Duke’s first Official Day as the Signal (in the titular Batman & the Signal ofc) BUT, near as I can tell after this story, Dukes age is not brought up again. So until they DO bring it up either in Batman & the Outsiders or whatever future run Duke becomes involved in, we can assume DC will be working with the idea that he’s meant to be in that 16-18 range from here on out (ie still a minor).

But, dear anon, you might be saying “okay, that’s cool, but how does that relate to my question abt how he falls in with the other Bats?” You’ll have to be a little patient with me here, but I think I may have cracked the code!

Keep in mind I’m gonna be addressing both the Post-Crisis to Flashpoint Continuity (ie mid-80s to 2010 in comics history) and the N52-slash-Rebirth Era (2010-Today). Its generally agreed by fandom and DC alike that these points of rebooting &/or Major Events constitute the era of “Modern” comics, and that everything from the 80s-on might more or less be canon on some level, even if not All of it is.

(Plus, most of fandom usually likes to borrow elements from both eras and much more rarely from stories before it, SO-)

Lets do a quick rundown of how everyone who’s Closer to Duke’s Age, Relates to each other first, age-wise:

Given that Jason was 15 when he died, in A Lonely Place of Dying its established that Bruce had become increasingly reckless since his death, and by the end of the story, Tim has stepped in to fill Robin’s shoes (he states that he’s 13 during this story btw). Pretty soon after, Stephanie Brown is introduced & established to be about a year older than Tim (wish I could pin-point a specific issue BUT, i unfortunately haven’t read any Tim OR Steph-involved comics that predate No Man’s Land... Besides the aforementioned Lonely Place and Young Justice technically, but im working on remedying that soon!)

NOW, during the No Man’s Land event, Cassandra is introduced, and pretty soon into her Batgirl run, its revealed that she’s around the same age as Jason (or at least how old he Would Have Been, had he not died.) Now, given that Jay has an August bday and Cass has a January one, fandom sometimes likes to play around with the idea of one being older than the other (OR even speculating/placing them in an AU as twins/siblings, given that Lady Shiva (Cass’ mom) was a Possible Candidate to be Jason’s biological mother but that’s a Whole Other Thing i wont get into here.)

The point being, Cass, in this era of comics, IS slightly older than Tim and Steph. At Tim’s start as Robin, their ages could either line up like: Tim-13, Steph-14, Cass-15 (being a few months ‘behind’ Jay), then Jason at 15/16 (depending on how soon Tim filled the role after Jay died in April) OR Jason-15/16, Cass-16/17 (in this case she’d be a few months ‘ahead’ now instead)

So brief detour to talk New 52, however! Because Tim, Steph & Cass all got switched around from where DC originally left them prior to the reboot! Now I haven’t read much of them in this era, other than Batman & Robin: Eternal, so my Understanding of their current ages is Spotty at Best. The general consensus seems to be that while before N52, Stephanie had been attending her first year of College (& doing VERY WELL i might add), with the reboot she was set back a few years alongside Tim to a vague Late-Teen state (so 16-18-ish, instead of a Very Clearly Established 18/19). Cass is probably the worst off for this reboot, given that B&R:E basically constitutes her new origin for the new continuity, and does nothing to confirm her age (all I really know is that she’s a Vague Late-Teen too... Probably? Maybe?), given how much they infantilize her, and subsequently how fandom in turn has taken to infantilizing her too, theres a semi-popular fanon that places her Younger that Tim and Steph. And I, for one, propose that we ignore that bc its Weak Sauce my dudes.

Some fans chose to ignore N52 continuity due to this vagueness, and will stick to the ages established before the N52/Rebirth reboots. But its something to keep in mind regardless bc we’re all obviously going to pull from what’s most familiar to us!

But WHERE could we place Duke with regards to them, then? Because them being “Late Teens” is certainly much too vague to work with!

This is Where Damian is the key!

Because Damian is one of those rare exceptions to the Reboot Rule. His story flowed almost seamlessly over from before to after. While he was made a Robin at the age of 10, he continued to grow and learn even after the universe was being rewritten to suit the whims of DC editorial.

If we choose to ignore how everyone else’s ages and origins were swapped around, and stick with the growth that was presented before the reboot, then we can draw some interesting conclusions!

Firstly, though Stephanie also had Died and subsequently Returned, she hadn’t lost much, if any time, from the Ordeal. At the start of her Batgirl run, she is enrolled at a Gotham university and making headway with a more firm foot in the Batfamily (even to the point that she and Damian spend a few issues bonding. At this point in time, Damian is definitely 11, and again, Steph can be assumed to be 18/19 during the course of her run. We’ll assume 18 for clarity’s sake.)

So, then when Damian is 11, now our line up is as Follows:

Dami - 11, Steph - 18, Tim - 17, Cass 19-21 (the range depending again, if you subscribe to Cass being either older/younger than Jason).

WHICH MEANS, If during Robin War Damian is 12 (and a half) THEN We’ve got an age line-up that Potentially looks Like This:

Dami -12(and 1/2), Duke - 16, Tim - 18, Steph - 19, Cass - 20-22 (And Obvsly Jason, Babs & Dick at their varying Older Ages than everyone here)

and im just now realizing i Didnt include Harper in this line-up, but thats bc she’d also throw a big wrench in all this. I’d personally throw her in with being Steph’s age, but I’m pretty sure she was supposed to be either that, or between Steph and Cass (again, since its N52, i believe Cass was/is assumed to be Younger than Steph, but that contradicts the assumed following of pre52 canon that we have for the above line-up, obvsly, and so we ignore that lmao)

All this to say, however, that canon and fandom is what you make of it, and if you want to wiggle these ages around a little, you’re more than allowed! God Knows i usually like to skew the Tim-Steph-Cass age group to be a tad older than this in my own fic writing, and I like to have Duke start as a Robin at 14/15 instead of 16, but that’s just bc I like the dynamic potential it could bring with them being Definitively Older that him, and thus in a more secure place to be Mentoring him right alongside Bruce & the others.

But you might see these age ranges and want to do something Different (say, making Tim, Steph, Cass, & Duke all the Same Age at 17 instead! And that very well tracks with how current comics kinda looks right now!) and you’re absolutely valid to do so! Because again, comic character’s ages are meant to be fluid, not fixed!

And at the end of the day, its all about wanting to see these teen heroes kick serious ass haha

#duke thomas #guest starring:#batfamily #damian wayne #tim drake #stephanie brown #cassandra cain #randywrites #randys meta #meta #asked and answered #anonymous asks #this was A LOT and i tried to throw some humor where i could #but uhhhh yeah!!! i hope this helps anon!!!#also just realizing its TWO AM WHERE DID THE TIME GO #ah well. Worth It

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wcstlcys · 4 years

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( IMOGEN POOTS. THIRTY. CIS-FEMALE. SHE/HER. ) in texas, FRANCINE WOLFF is more commonly known as FRANKIE. they’ve been living in stratford for THIRTY YEARS and currently a PARAMEDIC. some say they are AMORAL & MEEK but i’m more inclined to believe those that say they’re UNPREDICTABLE & BENEVOLENT. if you walk by their house, you can sometimes hear UNDER THE GRAVEYARD by OZZY OSBOURNE playing from their window. ( trembling hands , blood stained uniform , torn up medical books , chipped nail polish )

[ BLOOD, DRUGS, DRUG ABUSE & ADDICTION, OVERDOSE TRIGGER WARNINGS ]

basics.

* goes by frankie – will cry if you call her francine

* panromantic / pansexual

* has a fairly nasty pill habit

* horror movie fanatic

* has a fairly nasty pill habit

* frankie is one of the only members of her family who did not choose a career within the police department

* major family issues

* very obscure sense of morals, mostly just wants to help people even if that means breaking the law

about.

✘ frankie has spent her entire life in stratford, for no other reason that she does not know where else to go. generations of her family have grown up here and never left – so why should she ?? she feels as if she’s stuck and should simply remain.

✘ with her father and grandfather being both deputies within the sheriffs department, along with her siblings as well, frankie has always felt pressured by their reputation. especially with their very much outspoken hatred towards the gangs within town. perhaps it was her rebilious phase settling in, but she found herself drawn towards those groups. outlaws of any kind, really. anything that screamed the entire opposite of her family.

✘ frankie’s interest in medicine comes from an unusual source. she’s had a strange fascination with blood and violence from a young age. something about it simply just attracts her and she can’t particularly place a finger on it. in fact, the interest bothers her quite greatly at times. she tries her best to ignore it and tries to place it into a practical sense. which is why she chose to go into the field of EMS, she could fuel her obsession without anyone batting an eye, and at the same time she could help people.

✘ while frankie is a paramedic, she’s an incredibly corrupt one. a lot of her patients end up being criminals, a lot of the time in trouble with the law or hold the potential to be in some sort of trouble. she’s helped people escape custody at the hospital numerous times, failed to report things she should to the police, smuggle out medications and supplies from the hospital, and everything in between. she neither views her actions as right or wrong, she’s simply just helping out people when she can.

✘ a lot of her paramedic work also happens off duty, where she’s called into sketchy situations because people can’t go to the hospital in fear of being caught or questioned by the police. she can no longer keep track of the amount of times she’s had to stitch up someone in a poorly lit room with limited supplies at her disposable. but she does it every time, without question.

✘ [ DRUG TRIGGER WARNING ] while on the outside, frankie seems to handle her job just fine, more times than not she had to self-medicate in order to keep her nerves in check. she witnesses a lot of tragedy, death and grief in her lifetime and she has to keep her composure somehow. she refuses to believe she has an addiction, and for those who are aware of it she simply denies it all. her addiction has caused a near constant tremble in her hands, only disappearing when she’s hyper focused on her work. it’s a characteristic she tries to ignore, and shrugs her shoulders when pointed out.

✘ [ OVERDOSE TRIGGER WARNING ] unfortunately , after a particularly bad incident, frankie accidentally overdosed and landed herself in hospital for a short stint of time. her father, not wanting to have any shame or question directed towards his family, managed to keep the whole thing under wraps. a few people are aware of what happened, but for some reason of the other keep quiet about it. especially the person who found her [ yall im sorry but potential connection bye ] she took a brief break from her job whilst she was recovering, and for a lot of people her short disappearance is left unanswered. since the overdose she’s been sort of sober if you can even call it that. she’s been trying to keep things under control but ya gal ain’t so good at that.

✘ when she’s not doing EMS work, both on and off-duty, you’ll probably find her at a club or bar of some sort trying to wind down. it’s not so much about the drinking, she just likes to party and dance whenever she gets the chance. she’s pretty busy most of the time, and ends up taking a lot of night shifts, so partying isnt something she gets to do all the time. she can be quite shy sometimes so she needs a bit of a party setting in order to let loose and have some fun. is that troubling ?? maybe so, but she chooses to ignore it.

✘ horror movie fanatic. are we surprised ?? you’ll often find frankie locked up in her house, horror movies playing in the background. it keeps her sane and she would very much appreciate it if you don’t mention it. she finds it a little embarrassing sometimes. she’s very shy ALRIGHT.

✘ if you call her francine she might just cry. she hates it. only her family calls her that. if you’re special she MIGHT accept fran in a pinch but she always introduces herself as frankie. francine is reserved for family and legal documents alright.

wanted connections.:

✘ BLACKMAIL: [ OPEN ] someone who has gained the knowledge of her corrupted ways and is using it as a means to exploit her. whether it’s because they dislike her, they need information, or they are simply malicious and want to use it against her for their own needs and wishes. please for the love of god torture frankie goodbye

✘ FIRST LOVE / FIRST HEARTBREAK: [ OPEN ] because i am a hopeless romantic and also love angst, i demand some cute yet tragic love for frankie. am i lame and going to suggest it be a biker ?? maybe so, but i’m honestly down for civilians as well, whatever works out best !! i see this as someone she’s known for a good chunk of her life and the relationship may have been and off again and on again type of scenario. i also imagine they’re in the know of all her corrupt behavior within the EMS. idk man gimme angst so i can cRY

✘ EXES: [ OPEN ] even after her first heartbreak i imagine she’s dated around here and there. lots of opportunities for messy relationships with her busy work schedule and all the shady stuff she does on the sidelines.

✘ BEST FRIENDS / RIDE OR DIES: [ OPEN ] these would be the people she loves with her whole heart. she would do absolutely anything for them and literally commit crimes and risk her job for them. these could be childhood friends or simply friends she’s met along the way, even through her work ! especially her off-duty work

✘ FRIENDSHIPS: frankie needs friends ok pls she can be so sweet and loving and i just want her to drown everyone in platonic love and kisses

✘ HOOKUPS / FWBS: [ OPEN ] listen…ya gal has needs. she has a very busy schedule and doesnt have a lot of time to date. she needs to let off some steam alright ok cool

✘ PATIENTS / WORK RELATED [ OPEN ]: frankie opens up her services to a lot of people. sometimes she gets paid, other times she’s just owed a favour – but most of the time she simply just does it to help out. i imagine a lot of these connections would be affiliated with the gangs. she’s very much neutral to both sides and tries to help out whenever she can.

✘ WORK CONNECTIONS [ OPEN ]: police, fire department, hospital workers PLEASE come give frankie some love cus i imagine they’d interact a lot based off of their careers.

ok SO this is all i can think of right now but i am ofc open to a lot more connections and i REALLY wanna plot with all of yall and snatch up those connections.

#rideintro.#rideintro #yeeting these again bye #also i had to use that gif bc i love it

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unproduciblesmackdown · 4 years

Text

here’s the matter of fact text post re: i guess i achieved the goal of an intermittent thing i’d do where i’d try to find anyone online talking about the ‘weird’ experience i have with masturbation which is, inherently, not exciting or anything but it’s like, even if i just Know of course it’s not just me, i want to like, hear someone else talk about anything similar ever, b/c so far it’s just a text post i saw once and can’t ever rediscover and someone talking about their experience that stems from an inapplicable physical trauma so....Yay, seeing as it’s been years i’ve been like “seriously though” lmao

i was like Lol @ myself b/c i was like “man after i try for like 30 sec to crank it it a) doesn’t go anywhere hardly and b) i lose interest Way fast and it’s like mildly annoying” and so i thought about that post that’s like [me after sex: well that was a waste of my goddamn time. anyway back to speedrunning] but that’s me after a halfhearted attempt to masturbate and not really getting anything out of it anyways lmaoo like. it’s okay or i wouldn’t even bother fairly regularly but also it tends to end with like, me going off on a distracted tangent for even a moment and it can just hit an absolute brick wall like okay i don’t even have the Interest in continuing with this anymore like i might’ve had before starting like Well That Was A Waste Of My Goddamn Time Anyway Back To [whatever it is that i do]

and then like either that same night or the next my dreams had the audacity to get deeply uncomfortable for no reason like. all i do is have Anxiety Dream Themes thrown together where like. for example as i write this, two nights ago i had a dream segment about “i’m on vacation at the beach” but it was all Anxiety b/c it’ll all be about how i can hardly visit said beach coz i keep getting sidetracked at the hotel or w/e while i’m Trying to visit it while i still can, and last night i had the same Theme but trying and failing to ride roller coasters (which i Enjoy irl) and like, the beach one in particular recurs not Too infrequently lmao where i’m surprised by the rarity of something like “you’re at the beach and it’s fun” lol.......i don’t have anything i’d call a nightmare too often but Anxiety / a somewhat threatening/worrisome situation is like, fairly constant lol, with some occasionally more neutral stuff and a really rare Fun Dream but anyways it was still Bizarre that my dreams pitched me “you’re Someone who i guess is dating this abstract Partner and the scenario is you feel obligated to have sex with them” and it was weird like, woke up the next day like “why did my brain drag me through this deeply unpleasant dream situation” like. not totally unheard of for my dreams to touch on a Scene ft. sex and/or physical intimacy and even on occasion it’ll be an “i’m (or whoever i am as a maybe semi-abstract First Person camera character lol maybe ft. some particular concept attached to the ‘role’) having some sexual encounter and it’s Fine or enjoyable” but it’s generally fleeting As Per Usual Dream Structure and it’s like why was this one that sucked like, particularly dragged out by those usual dream standard’s, come on

anyways so going “haha i’m living the Waste Of My Goddamn Time thing” and “well thank you to my own brain for a bizarre and unpleasant experience while i’m just trying to be passed tf out” i was like “let’s look up again why not only can i not seem to orgasm but also like even expecting a way lower level of stimulation still Disappoints sometime like why do i bother” and yeah after first going the “does anyone Never manage to Not slam into a brick wall / basically completely lose interest all at once or practically all at once even and it all goes back to zero even if you started at like maybe a 1 or 1.5 and sometimes it happens with going down a random mental track” route i interestingly got some cis guys going “yeah hate when that happens on occasion” but yeah by now i had of course given up on “can i come at this from an [experiencing sensory input and processing from an autistic angle] angle” like. idk still interested in that of course lmao but god is searching for it a bit exhausting. but yeah after i threw in an [-erectile] search modifier i got was like oh a result on a site about asexuality re: masturbation, why didn’t i think of That angle. idk but here we are

informative stuff but the comments section where people who wanted to read an [about: masturbation] on a site About asexuality were talking about their experiences was like. i had mentioned how it was Enlightening that one person said I Do Not Enjoy Orgasms lol like i have not really heard that angle vs “you might not enjoy sexual stimulation” and/or “you might not be able to orgasm” but not you Can orgasm but you Might Not Even Like It Really like. the person said yes they got the Peak Of Intense Pleasure out of the orgasm but not so much any kind of afterglow and felt like they get dropped back to where they were before even trying to masturbate (aka. square zero again lol) and just yeah outright mentioned Not Enjoying it and another person replied like Yep it’s like that for me too.........already i’m like man i don’t even approach anywhere near an orgasm Ever but man would not be surprised if, even if i theoretically was capable of the physical experience, it would be the same as this way lower level Waste Of My Goddamn Time deal lol.......it’s Hilarious too that like. say “being at all in the mood to try to spank it” is a Square/Level 1, i feel like yeah most of the time i’m only getting this shit going to a 1.5, maybe a 2 or 2.5 if we’re on fire......very very very rarely have i been like “hey that was like, a 3 or some shit, damn” and honestly it’s not like oh so that ruled and is motivation to continue b/c like. the Surprise of it throws me off and it’s not necessarily that Great a surprise, more just like, jeez, idk, it feels like A Bit Much that basically registers as Tension where i’m hardly encouraged to keep it up like, makes me wonder if that’s a Sensory Processing Thing aka how sometimes i try to get any more in depth info on the logistics of Experiencing Sexual Stimulation re: also being autistic and the variety of ways that can unfold (i do know that like. the Sensory thing apparently can sure be a factor in either direction, i.e. might cause some ppl to really not enjoy sexual stimulation Or to like, super enjoy it. allistic ppl who might realize “thinking sex is awesome” is “”normal,”” brilliant.....like u didnt also “realize” that stims like fidget cubes and weighted blankets can be enjoyed “”normally”” like. still having a diff experience here and shut it) and i remember one time i was like “c’est la vie i will purchase a vibrator (and i got a second, external one as some deal going on)” and it was just a No Go b/c. it didn’t feel “bad” in that it was not necessarily like, yep here’s some sexual stimulation, but it was like, overwhelming in a Not Good way, yet also not physically painful, and i realize vibrators are made w/ different intensities and i definitely got Mildest ones so it wasn’t that

anyways like yeah #tbt to a time i really gave it a go (vibrator-less) for truly just short of two solid hours......plenty of that was me at Square Zero and getting back to level 1 alone (aka like. feeling Any positive response at all lmao) was kind of an achievement and maybe there was some 1.5 or 2 in there but it wasn’t like i felt that motivated and Just Keeping At It was not necessarily helping so. that was a waste of my goddamn time

can’t really remember what i was doing differently the last time i kicked things up to maybe a solid 2-3 Zone for truly like One Moment lol.....think i was just getting a little more hands on (since usually a spike in intensity makes me go “[?? / !!] whoa :/” and i lose Any momentum and/or “progress”) and that spike in intensity made me go [?? / !!] Whoa :/ and it didn’t matter, just got back to zero as always, and it’s not like these “Achievements” are “Enlightening” where i’m then like wow everyone’s right, really Trying with this shit pays off like lol. i still make a cursory effort but really just to burn off that Level 1-ness if anything like. kinda like “yeah neat here we go” but like. probably literally a minute or two later it’s like well Anyways.......another fun detail is that it’s not Always like “oh i got off on some mental sidetrack and losing focus = losing like All of even this low level of arousal and im back at zero” like, i might be in the middle of things and Lose Interest even while i’m currently experiencing a nonzero level of “yep this is some sexual stimulation” lol but it’s just like smh Whatever @ it......like, on the one hand the Tension of the stimulation gets in its own way, but if i entirely lose that then it’s like well okay this isn’t gonna go anywhere, may as well stop

so anyhow here’s the Particular Comment where i was like “wow this is so similar to #me that i guess i’ve finally found Someone Talking About It* (*however it goes for me)”

i can’t say i’ve done the Holding My Breath thing on Purpose but now sometimes i do notice i do it (and have probably Been doing it) lol like oh there i went and Exhaled in a [was holding my breath] way lol coz like they say there with the Loss Of Any Tension and the Square Zero (Not Even Square One) thing like yeah lmao. and very same with the Five Minutes Max thing b/c yeah it really can be even less than One Minute sometimes before it’s like yeah square zero or just i lose enough interest anyways, getting bored like they say, ugh like it’s a brief description obviously lmao but i’m like god well there it is i guess, the [i know it’s not Just Me experiencing this like this but i’d still fucking like to find anyone else actually talking about it] account For Once Finally, thanks for putting it out there, Disappointed and a lil bored

naturally there are also ppl in the comments talking about how masturbation is an enjoyable thing for them and particular tips there but like it is Hilarious to me how a) some people orgasm easily or like. orgasm if they put effort into masturbation lmaooo like fucking imagine. and b) idk it’s like well i’m sure i’ve made hundreds of attempts and not even any Near Misses, it is simply like, not happening and c) yet at the same time Like This Commenter it’s like “well is there just another way of doing it i somehow haven’t hit on” like naturally i have to wonder like well idk maybe it’d be diff with a sexual partner b/c yknow, the same stimulation from Someone Else vs Yourself, and yet d) ha ha of course i haven’t had sex which people Don’t think of as Not A Joke lmao i referred to this fact abt myself with some casual humor to someone and my temper flared up when that was later taken as a Cue for someone who is not me to jokingly reference it (by Temper Flaring i mean i got annoyed enough to go Do Not Do That e.g. the post that’s like “[asserts one boundary] i’m not a people pleaser anymore i’m actually a huge cunt now”) and i probably shouldn’t feel like i have to “justify” this as well somehow other people have probably tried to Make A Move re: me but i have not been into it like well, what if nobody had ever been Interested that i knew of, that would be fine too, but. i am aware that ppl think of this as a joke still lmao, and i have to say that. im already doing letters like a) b) c) aren’t i but whatever, starting over a) well i haven’t had All the opportunity in the world as i have at various points (but basically continuously) for various reasons been pretty isolated and b) idk i have not had all these signs that point to me wanting to have sex with people exactly lmao but it’s like, c) even if i go “well maybe there’s Exceptions out there or Situations That Will Be Conducively Different Than The Limited Range Of Ones I’ve Had So Far” it’s like, okay, i could still just continue to feel “nah :/” re: any “opportunity” that ever presents itself or whatever. it is all very abstract for me anyways, so it’s like, whatever. but i’m also not the most Glad to discuss it b/c idk a lot of this stuff i know is like A Joke including how i’m still simmering with resentment from a year ago or more over some Tweet i saw trying to dunk a meme about how asexuals are Anti-Psychology like, that’s an entire Other Essay there but needless to say for one thing i just pre-resent people hearing “could being autistic factor into the particular experience i have losing interest / arousal so easily (and inevitably as it’s big time primary anorgasmia around here)” and going “aha that makes sense b/c being ace means there’s something Dysfunctional going on cuz Lbr and bieng autistic means being a Fucked Up version of an allistic person and your autistacity is going to fuck up things about you which ought to function properly” like well that feeds right into itself in a loop and i hate it. and i know the whole “hehe someone who hasn’t had sex is a loser” thing is way engrained in there lmao ppl throw that punchline out all the time and like, idk, see the (i’m autistic) thing like it’s not like this is an unprecedented concept or the only front on which im like “i Know this is a thing ppl negatively judge in general but i also Know i do not buy into that or feel bad about it” like i do not personally consider myself cringe and fail for not having had sex ever and do not consider that Premise that someone is a joke for it to be true re: anyone but at the same time i know that this whole Awareness that people are shitty about it is frustrating to me lol. plus i think it is getting into the Entire Thing where concepts as broad as Maturity and Humanity At Its Most Complex And Worthwhile are considered intrinsically linked to romance and sex, which is something that i am somewhat self-conscious of being aromantic and [having never had sex and it could well be that i will not ever have sex even if The Opportunity(tm) is there] and i know it is frustrating to me b/c sometimes when i start to even talk about “i have not had sex yes im aware this is like (spit take) what a nerd, Sure” b/c i will easily cry out of frustration like 5 seconds in lol. which i cry easily enough but Usually getting teared up b/c i feel Hyped Up / Enthusiasm for something lmfao.......anyways plenty of tangents to go down here but my point is shoutout to the other person for also never orgasming and just being bored with masturbation if anything

and also to the people who were like “i can have / have had orgasms but i don’t actually enjoy it” like considering the way that [not like i experience anything even close to an orgasm but there is sometimes An Increase in arousal achieved, either a tiny raise in the Level or on occasion a bit of a kick which is mostly like “whoa tf chill out”] is overall Underwhelming even if there is Any enjoyment in it and the whole Back To Square Zero (Not Even Square One) thing re: the entire lack of afterglow they mention and it’s like well that kinda feels like parallel experiences here lmao. which tbh is like. makes me care even less with like Humorous Annoyance at the fact that ppl are out here simply able to have orgasms and to have access to that just by like yep here i go masturbating lmaooo like okay

anyways idk how to Conclude this lmfao. Fun Fact i have hc’s about how winston billions who is autistic experiences sexual stimulation (he gets the Really Enjoys It kind of sensory processing time here lol) but i suppose the easiest simplest one to explain is the “remember the Tayston Crying Sex drawing, the idea is that things can be kinda overwhelming while still being Good if it’s handled right by his partner (or himself ig lol) and he can tear up as sort of an overflow thing” like well you probably already knew that was connected to the broader whole of Winston Billions Autistic Hc’s but in case you didn’t: it is

#me and ''Disappointed and a lil bored'' out here #round of applause from me to me....like the time i stumbled across the Source Media for some preview i remembered from a blockbuster vhs #like 20 yrs ago or whatever like ''am i making this sort of Distinctive memory up or modifying one to hell and back / combining them'' like #no i was not but it sure took me a While to mostly coincidentally find it via watching a list on youtube of like. partially Lost or just rly #obscure niche shit....it'd been a preview for a pc game for an ye olde disney series i'd never heard of in my life #anyways the point is it'd been something *i'd* been searching around for intermittently for a good while and managed to find and it was like #hooray but also i realize it's hardly relevant to like. much of anyone else but oh well good for me

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core-crystal · 4 years

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Ok so as a baby adult in the making, i need help and you are very approachable. How do i put together a good resume. Also in terms what are some things i really need to know. So far im doing way more research into how im supposed to apply for jobs and health insurance/ how to file taxes then I really assumed I would. Im not very financially independent and cant really afford collage, or to live on my own for that matter. How do i do adult things, im floundering and just panicking.

So for resumes, it’s best to keep a living resume as you work. I think you mentioned the other day that you haven’t really worked before/don’t have past job experience, I think what I included for mine at that point was an education section listing where I was currently going to school and what my running GPA was at the time. In another section any programs I was in (I was in JROTC, marching band, and national honors society at the time), and then a section for my current skills. I’m a little bad at like... explaining resume advice but these links are pretty accurate in explaining and giving decent examples for when you don’t have a lot of present experience!

The thing about resumes is that you want to have, as I said before, a living document keeping track of your qualifications as they come and go. When you get a job, pull up your resume document and mark down the job title, employer, and date, as well as at minimum a brief description of what you do and your direct supervisor’s name. (I’d also recommend keeping a note of that supervisor’s contact information--when you apply to a new job later, sometimes they’ll want to be able to call your past employers to see what you’re about) When you leave that job, add the date you left. Do this for EVERY job. Also do this for any volunteer experiences you may take part in. Make sure you have at least two backups of this living doc up to date and saved in different locations at all times. You’ll thank me later.

When you go to apply to a new job, don’t just print off your living resume doc. Open a brand new document, maybe pick a nice resume style off the word templates (if it looks fun, I’d advise against it--in general, you want a neat, sleek-looking design), have your living resume doc open in the background, and transcribe the relevant information over and rewrite your objective statement to suit the new position. For the time being until you get more experience, you’ll want to include all your work experience, but later down the line, your position at the ice cream shop won’t look that impressive among other jobs, so you’ll have to choose to leave it off then. You should NOT keep a physical copy of your resume on hand, because each resume should be different depending on the job.

For actually applying, check online to see if the place you’re applying to has online applications! If they do, do it there. If they don’t, put on something nice but not too nice, walk in to the location, and ask whether they’re hiring/if you can get a job application. Often they’ll tell you if there’s some special circumstances like, oh you should bring this back to this specific place in the store, but usually, it’s enough to hand it in to a cashier and they’ll know who to bring it to!

Before you get a job interview, practice confident body language and a confident tone. Things like making sure you have a good posture, sitting with your hands folded a certain way, making eye contact even though it sucks and makes you wanna die, etc.. I can’t find the post, but askamanager has helpful resources to actually find and land a job!

I try to craft a solid worksona for job interviews. Basically, you find a balance between the kind of worker they’re looking to hire (for a cashier job: friendly, can hold a conversation, maybe a bit traditional) and still showing that you have, like, an actual personality. And make sure you prepare for the job interview. Askamanager has an article on that, too. It’ll help, trust me.

I don’t know much about health insurance, so I can’t in good conscience advise you there! But taxes are fairly easy, if a little anxiety-inducing. Use a program like turbotax, but do NOT pay for it. The free version works perfectly fine for filing taxes. If something you do, like working or going to school, affects your tax filing, they will almost always send you a tax form with all of the information you’ll need. If you’re not sent a tax form for something, it’s safe to assume that you don’t need to file taxes on it (in my experience). Keep track of any educational spending or major life changes throughout the year anyway. For example, I have to buy textbooks for school. I have to keep track of, and report, how much I spend on those textbooks on my taxes, otherwise I might miss out on a tax break for them. If you get a scholarship for college, write it down. Your college will give you a form that has that information, but write it down anyway. Keep it in a notebook or spreadsheet on a secure computer or using a cloud service like OneDrive. For the most part, though, doing taxes with TurboTax is as simple as reading the form you were given and putting information in boxes.

The company that owns TurboTax also has a program called Mint! It allows you to link your bank accounts and lets you easily budget, track your spending, and even allows you free checks of your credit score that won’t negatively impact your score. I get an update once a month on my credit score and what factors are impacting it how.

Speaking of, once you’re old enough, you’re going to want to start building your credit. What I recommend doing is taking out a credit card, only using it for a specific thing, and then paying it right away. For example, when you have a car, using your credit card to buy gas and then immediately paying that gas purchase off. This will let you build up credit so that later, you can take out loans with lower interest rates and are more likely to be approved for loans.

This is getting a bit long-winded, so I’m going to say one more thing and then call the post for the time being! I think it’s really important to remember that most people don’t know what they’re doing either. I mean it. I helped at least two of my friends’ parents do their taxes this year. Everyone’s just kind of muddling through all this big important adult stuff and pretending they know what they’re doing, but it’s okay to google things you don’t know the answer to, ask questions, and be confused. In some cases, it’s deliberately confusing. Fake it ‘till you make it and kick some ass. I know you can.

#answered asks #aviel-the-trans-bucket

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all-hail-the-witcher · 5 years

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pov pov pov pov pov

alright so three months ago at around this time I was like “lol let’s make a tumblr” and now 359 followers, some questionable friendships, and 8 chapters of spies later, here we are.

so like thanks and stuff for following this trash pile

and now I bring you arguably one one of my most iconic fics and fizz’s personal favorite: What Are You Hiding told from Albert’s pov

better known as: “imma Walgreens that shit” 2.0

________

ship: ralbert

genre: angst

warnings: Albert is a stupid boi, brief hospitals, aftermath of being stabbed

word count: 1003

editing: heckity heck naw

_________

Albert Dasilva had always been kinda reckless. He was one of those people who just didn’t care about his overall health. To date, his stupidest stunt had been when he performed an entire show of The Nutcracker, complete with the Russian solo, and passed out during bows because he had the flu.

This one though had the potential to top that.

He wasn’t quite sure how he had gotten stabbed. But between one minute and the next There was blood pouring out of his shirt.

He was, however, sure of how he had gotten to Walgreens. He had caught the bus and ridden three blocks to the nearest one, only getting a few strange looks from the passengers.

Standing now in the - very dirty - bathroom, dabbing at his very large and still bleeding wound while trying not to pass out, Albert had to admit that this might not be his finest moment. But hey, it was just a scratch and he would be fine. At least, as long as he could hide it from Race.

All plans of that flew out the window as he stumbled out of the store.

“Hey! Albie!” a voice called out.

Albert turned around, internally groaning when his eyes landed on Race. Why did his boyfriend have a magic sense to show up when he was least wanted?

“Hey Racer,” he said once Race was within earshot.

“Whatcha doing?” Race asked.

“Oh I was just, you know…” Albert gestured vaguely to the store behind him, holding back a wince when he lifted his arms.

“No, I don’t know,” Race laughed as fell into step with Albert. “You heading home?”

“Yeah.” Albert stumbled slightly over a crack in the sidewalk, quickly righting himself. He snuck a glance at Race. Maybe he hadn’t seen.

“I’m going that direction too, I’ll walk you back,” Race offered, much to Albert’s dismay.

“No, no, it’s fine,” Albert waved Race off and nearly fell into the building he was walking next to, catching himself at the last minute. Silently, he cursed himself for not wrapping the wound tighter.

Race frowned and gave Albert a once over, but said nothing. “No, I can walk you, it’s no problem,” Race assured him. “Don't need my widdle baby getting huwt in this big bad city.”

Albert rolled his eyes but didn't protest, he knew it was useless with Race.

The two of them made idle conversation for several blocks until Albert stumbled again, this time actually falling against a mailbox and breathing heavily for a second before attempting to right himself. But, he could tell that there was no escaping it now. All of his strength had drained from him and he felt weaker than when he had passed out onstage, if that were even possible. Maybe he should have used a little more anisceptic...

Race stopped in his tracks, staring at him. “That's the third time you've stumbled in the last 10 minutes,” he said accusingly. “What's going on? Are you sick?”

“No,” Albert sighed, reaching up to run his fingers through his hair. The bottom of his shirt rode up slightly and he quickly lowered his hand, but the damage was done.

Race’s eyes widened. “Are those bandages under your shirt?” He looked scared, and Albert wanted to tell him that it was just a scratch, but he didn’t think Race would appreciate that.

“Um, maybe….?” Albert tried to push himself up again but only succeeded in sliding further down the mailbox. He accepted his defeat and groaned slightly.

Race was at his side in a second. “Hey, hey, it’s okay, it’s okay,” he soothed. “What happened?” Albert almost laughed, even after all his ridiculous stunts, Race still managed to be there for him.

“Not sure,” Albert winced as Race lifted the hem of his tshirt. “One second I was walking and the next a guy had a knife in my side.” He looked away on impulse, not wanting to see Race’s facial expression.

“Someone stabbed you?” Race whispered apprehensively.

“Y-yeah,” Albert stammered. He could feel his eyes beginning to close. That probably wasn’t a good sign.

In one swift motion, Race scooped Albert up into his arms and held him tightly against his chest. He had him pressed so close that Albert could hear his accelerated heart beat. He wanted to tell him to calm down, that it wasn’t anything huge and he would be fine, but his mouth felt as though it were stuffed with cotton.

The last thing he heard before he drifted off was Race’s pleading voice.

“Hang in there, Albie. I’m gonna get you help.”

•••

Albert assumed he was in a hospital. He could make out a faint beeping noise and the pain was less now. He had tried to open his eyes several minutes ago, but the brightness had given him a headache so he closed them.

But hey, he was alive, so it couldn’t be too bad, right?

He heard the door open softly and footsteps walking uncertainty towards him. Then, someone sank down on the edge of his bed and gently traced his hand through his hair. “Don't do that to me again,” Race whispered. “Don't scare me like that.”

“I’m sorry,” Albert mumbled, reaching his hand up to grab Races, keeping his eyes closed. He could only imagine what Race had gone through the last few hours.

He felt Race kiss his hand gently. “Its okay,” he whispered. “You can rest now, I'm not going anywhere.” Albert felt his insides melt at the softness of Race’s voice. After all his stupid stunts, he was still there.

Albert blinked open his eyes halfway to look at his very concerned boyfriend. Bright lights be damned, he needed to reassure Race of his undying affection. “I love you, you know that?” he whispered. “I don't say it enough.”

Albert saw tears begin to pool in Race’s eyes and he squeezed his hand gently and managed a small painful smirk before closing his eyes again.

“I love you too.”

_________

my blog has become a giant Walgreens ad they should really sponsor me

feedback is always appreciated hmu to be in the tag list

tag list

@fairly-awkward-trashcan@well-the-kids-do-too@racetrackcook@bouncyscreamingnewsboys@ughwaitwhat@aw-jus-let-em-spook@ben-cook-can-cook@the-woild-is-my-what-now@elmer-s-s0cks@voice-foundshoe-lost@galaxy-trees13@stopthe-presses@ridin-in-style@pinecovewoods@imjusttheoutgoingsidekick @i-got-no-clue-what-im-doing@bencookisagod@be-more-chill-evan-hansen@hellasoulless@stellar-alpaca@saxoph-ella@smolcanadiankid@disney-princess-sized@the-newsies-justice-for-zas-blog@insane-tomato@so-up-rolls-a-riot-van@spot-conlon-king-of-brooklyn@have-we-got-news-for-you@thatfancyclam@myidkwhatmynameisblog@legoflambwrites@that-one-newskid@not-a-scab@albertdasillva@entschuldigung-bitches@thebroadwayaesthetic@tea-and-theater@thomasbeingspooky

#saphie scribbles #‘imma Walgreens that shit #ahhh al is me #twitch can vouch #heh #albert dasilva #Racetrack Higgins #I can hear fizz screaming all the way down here #welp

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the-little-red-noodle · 6 years

Text

10/11/18 7:47

okay, lets talk.

Ive had an emotional 24 hours. I’ve been anxious, i’ve been insecure, i’ve been angry and sad and hurt and manic and crazy and i need to get it out so i can fucking cleanse and move into my weekend.

It started with spencer, what like, 2 nights ago now? i dont remember when it was, but i was getting insecure and noticing how i was affecting him. it was yesterday, cuz it was wednesday. i was insecure and didnt want him to leave my room and i think i really stressed him out because i just wanted him to stay and say the things i wanted to hear, but that isnt reality. he cant read my mind, he cant know what i need to hear, thats why i need to communicate and not just suck into myself and away from him, but i didnt want to do that because i didnt want to be crazy, but then i got crazy and i made him kinda late because he dropped by at 3:30 and only expected to stay till 4 but he left at 6:27 as i needed to go to my 6:30 lab.. so i feel bad but i just agh i couldnt let him leave when i didnt feel good..

i didnt feel good because we talked about politics. he got me going on the wage gap, so i got heated talking about the misconceptions and he was (respectfully) arguing with me because he is suuupperrrr super liberal, very very left, very socialist, and he’s a politics major, so he’s well versed and i get that going in, but i also wanted to share my side because im fairly moderate; i dont believe in a lot of feminist rhetoric, or the wage gap stuff. i read the study, and it bothers me that people misuse the statistics to say that women get paid less for the same job, because that is NOT what the study found. The point was that women take different kinds of jobs than men and tend to work less hours and have less education and qualifications. THAT is the ‘feminist’ issue, not paying women less for the same job because thats illegal and cant happen.

Heres the thing. I know there are sexist issues in our society. i know that it is harder for women than it is for men. but frankly, i feel better ignoring it as much as i can. i feel like if we keep telling women than they shouldnt be scientists because its a man job, or that society tells women that they need a leg up, because then we start believing it and internalizing and thinking we are less than men. i feel like if we just stopped talking about it, i wouldnt know that there was a gender discrepancy and id feel totally normal getting into stem. i dont want to feel like im some anomaly. and frankly yes, i notice sometimes. i notice the gender divide in stem. of fucking course i see it. i know that there are men in my neuroscience lab who think i dont know shit. im not blind, i know the STEM field is misogynistic. i know it is. but i dont like to subscribe to the feminist thing that im so held down and its because im a woman. but thats just me

anyway, my babe is very liberal and he was listening of course but also making sure i knew that the problems im ignoring are still there, which i appreciate but i also get kinda irritated with hyper liberal men because it sounds kinda guilty? like listening to a straight white man say that straight white men are the problem, annoys me. like yes thats true, but also ugh its annoying. i hate the men shame that feminism encourages.

so we kinda went back and forth for a while, which like, good that we can have real conversations, and politics is something that will inevitably come up, but as the conversation went on, i started getting insecure and anxious because confrontation scares me. not that he was really even confronting me? like spencer is such a sweet man, he’s gentle and kind and supportive and so sweet to me, and i know politics is literally his thing, and im glad that he’s super liberal as opposed to the other end. cuz like ya i am a queer woman and im glad that he seems like a strong advocate for minority groups like that, so like im glad, but i also started to feel like he was frustrated with me for like being ill informed.

heres the thang tho, im not really ill informed. ive done my research, i watch the news, and im a big fan of shoe0nhead which admittedly is very moderate bias media, but its content i agree with. and i was telling him that im fairly moderate, and he was like ya i can tell, and i was like and politics isnt really my thing, and he was like ya i can tell. but i didnt mean that like i didnt understand politics, i meant it as like i try not to really get into the conversation (partially because of sarah lawrence)

no wait i did tell him that. i told him how involved i was in social justice stuff in new york, that i literally led the anti Trump protest in NYC after he was elected. and when i told him that, he got all dreamy eyed like it was so attractive that his girlfriend was an activist, which is cute n whatever, cuz everything he does is cute..

the point is, that after this conversation i was insecure because i felt like he would be mad at me (he wasn’t) or that he would hate me (he doesn’t). and i know that logically of course, but still... ugh idk, the conversation just got me riled up and then he had to leave town for the whole weekend and i was feeling like we wouldnt have enough time to resolve it

but he kept saying everything was fine, that he wasn’t mad, that he might disagree, but still loves me duh. and i know he meant it, but u know when you get in your head and youre like shit i said too much, and now he will never look at me the same because we slightly disagree about politics, like my moms dating a republican and they reallllyyy disagree on politics, like i will be fine! whats yer issue self?

but ya so i just felt insecure, and i know he was trying to comfort me even tho i didnt let on thaaat much that i was hurting. i feel like when people i love get confrontational with me (which again, he wasn’t) i get upset and my heart feels heavy and it hurts and i want them to leave and i would have just ended our hangout because we both had places to be and whatever we’ll deal with it later, but i knew he was leaving tonight and was gunna be busy and we couldnt deal with it so i was scared and when my attachment feels insecure, i get SO insecure. hahahaaaa i was thinking this relationship would be any different? gurl.

but heres the thing, he is.. he’s fine. he doesnt think anything is wrong and he’s still my sweet pea boyfriend. and i know that now, because i did get to say goodbye in a good re-establishing way tonight.

i knew he was leaving after his class at 6:30 tonight and i was nervous because i knew he was gunna be busy with packing up and everything.

i ran into him walking to class and we were fine and kissy and cute and i love him but as we were parting i was like can i say goodbye before you leave, but i dont think he heard me cuz he didnt really respond because we were diverging and he was giving me his sweet boy eyes with an outstretched arm as we parted and i was like shit im still insecurrrreeee

so i texted him during the first class like “hey i meant cant i say goodbye before you hit the road but sounds like yer gunna be busy so have a great weekend baby i love you!” and i meant it, i wanted to end on a good note but then he didnt respond all day, and my anxiety was mounting and i spent the rest of today in my room doing nothing but stressing about him. stressing about a boy, nothing new for me.

but eventually i got really tired and took a real nap, i had accepted that i wouldnt see him again.. sad.. i woke up at like 7:15 and i was like hmm let me see if his car is still here, ya know, cuz im crazy. i went downstairs to fill up my water bottle and his car was still in the parking lot. so ya know, i text him, cuz im crazy. and i was like drive safe babe <3 and then as i got back to my room there he was outside my door with bags in his arm to pack up his car and i was so effing relieved to see him. we hugged and kissed and he seemed genuinely happy to see me and i was so happy to get to have a moment with him before he left.

i walked him down to his car, and filled up his water bottle for him and once everything was in his car, he just kissed me.. and i know im a hopeless romantic, but i was so happy to just kiss him and feel his lips smiling and feel his arms around me and hear him giggle and be adorable..

my heart still hurts, but it’s different now. my heart hurts because I miss him. i already miss him even though he only just left. he’ll be gone until monday night and i might not even see him then because he’ll be exhausted, which is fair. but now im sad because ill just miss him. i know he’ll be camping and among friends and nerding out on his larping camp vacation is fresno. of course ill miss him.. because i love him..

as we were kissing by his car i was like be safe (cuz his larping thing is basically nerd war with foam weapons) and he was like “yeah i will, cant wait to see you when i get back”, and i was like yeah babe ill be here to patch you back together when you get back, and he kinda laughed at me and was like “i dont think that’ll be your intention when i get back” implying that ill probably just want to rough him up immediately when i see him like i usually do. which made me really really happy to hear cuz it was like acknowleding that everythings still good and we’re still crazy about each other and we’ll just want to fuck as soon as he’s home which is sweet to me, like to me thats such a sweet sentiment. and i just got so happy that he in his own way reminded me that like we’re still on a good track, and we’re still happy, and he still loves me, ya know?

and also as we were hugging and kissing i started scratching his back how he likes and he sorta moaned and was like “ugh im really gunna miss this.. like im gunna miss you of course, but im gunna miss your back scratches” and that made me happy..

he just makes me happy.. i really love him and i’m really grateful that i got to have this brief reconnection with him before he left town till monday.. 4 days without him is gunna suck, but i know he’s gunna be busy and probably not have service and be off the grid so we won’t talk unless he reaches out. but i will manage. he managed for 4 days while i was camping, so i can manage while he is nerd camping

omigod that reminds me how much i love him, again. he’s nerd camping. ugh i adore him

he was like babe you gotta come next time so we can get drunk and fight together and he was all smiley like he really wants to show me off at his nerd event which is so sweet.. and as he walked me back to the dorm entrance cuz i forgot my key, he called me his girlfriend, and even though its small, its something.. i’ll take it.

i needed that brief little reconnection. the next 4 days i will have to detox. i have events planned like every day, so i’ll be fine. im gunna see my friends tomorrow and saturday night and i have chapter on sunday and should probably spend some time alone writing and detoxing and getting back to myself and feeling independent.

i want time to shower and braid my hair and brush my teeth and feed my body good food and watch youtube and write. i need to stay writing. i need to keep journaling because i know how much it helps me. i need to get my emotions out and analyze why the things that upset me get to me. whats the root of the problem and how to get through it. i need that.

i was and still am so frustrated with myself that i got so insecure over one political conversation with spencer. like... thats a problem, ya know?

and at least now that he’s out of town for the whole weekend, i dont really have an excuse for being anxious about seeing him? cuz he just drops by and i never know when cuz he doesnt text me first. like literally tonight as we were kissing outside my room he was like i came by earlier but you werent home, and i was like oh shit i was taking a nap and i slept through him coming to visit me :(( which is like oh my god that would have been so sad if i didnt get to see him on his way out because i was literally asleep!

his dropping by, while its the cutest ever because it just like him wanting to see me, its also kind of stressful because i never know when its gunna happen, so whenever im home, im kind of anxious because he could drop in at any second, and of course i get happy when he does because then i get to see my baby, but alsoooooo it means i cant really indulge in my personal space because it could be interupted at any moment, and as i found out tonight, i cant take naps because then i could miss him :(

thats probably something we should discuss at some point, because it creates anxiety for me that is related to spencer, and i want to eliminate any bad vibes from my relationship

relationship.. he’s my boyfriend.. ohmigod wuuuuuuut im still shocked that he wanted to boo me up this much.. he’s so sweet and cute and nerdy ugh

i love him.. i need to get over this dumb insecurity that comes from mild confrontation? that wasnt even confrontation??

so lets remember the things to look forward to about this relationship

he loves me. he claims me proudly as his girlfriend. he wants to bring me to belegarth events, even this day one in san diego where he’d bring me home and introduce me to his home friends which is pretty huge.. he’s sweet, he likes spending time with me and he drops by frequently and stays for hours.. we’re good, and i know i sound crazy needing to convince myself, but thats because i dont want to bug him to validate me, especially not when he has this big event that he’s so excited for. and i want him to be excited for his event and feel secure with me, because of course i love him and want to be with him.

10:53pm i keep taking breaks from the journaling, i get distracted really easy, watching youtube and texting people.. trying to be social, its hard for me. also trying to bury my spencer texts, just cuz i know im crazy and i want to try to not think about him..

do i go walk down to the cooler to get food? or should i just subside on whatevers in my fridge.. also i really should fill up my tank.. and calculate the gas so my friends can reimburse me.. sigh

anyway, i think im feeling mostly better after yesterday. like obviously im still gunna think about it, and ill always worry if spencers as invested as me, but i gotta take it with the context that he was the one who pursued me and crushed on me from day one and wanted to date me and wanted to be exclusive with me and wanted to call me his girlfriend.. he says he loves me and he comes to visit me all the time and spends his free time with me.. he’s a sweet pea and i shouldnt be insecure about it

and not to be cryptic, but what am i even worried about? part of me was reluctant to even get into a relationship, and was supposed to be single and focusing on myself and if anything, dating women. i accidentally caught feels for an amazingly sweet nerd man, and believe me im happy about it. i love spending time with spencer and loving on him. but to be cryptic for just a second.. worst case scenario? he’s just not interested anymore and we break up. sooo? ya that would suck, and i would be heartbroken, but i would also be okay because i have good friends and the whole point of breaking up with ryan was to be single.. so..

anyway, i should probably wrap up this journal entry cuz its long and all over the place

omigod he just texted me

aww he’s letting me know that he got to his thing safely and he loves me

seeee he’s a sweet bean, yall are fine, can you chill now? he’s so into you and you dont need to be insecure about this right now

and wow i sound crazy writing this much, i’ve literally been writing for hours. i know i need to journal more, and this is literally just stream of consciousness for hours and hours.. alright, ima end here and do hw maybe..

stay grateful. stay happy. life is good, you are blessed. friends are good. boyfriend is good. school is good for now kinda haha but i need to stay positive! yes i have bad days, yes i have low points, yes i get insecure and sad and upset and lonely. but i am so very lucky to be alive and to be surrounded by support and love and to feel and give love freely. i am lucky to have found friends i can trust. i am lucky to still have my close friends from beyond this year of oxy. i am beyond lucky to have an incredible man in my life. and also its halloween season which means lots of fun family stuff and so many fun parties on and off campus and looking forward to showing off my jessica rabbit costume and seeing spencers cowboy beebop costume and just drooling over each other ^-^

it is going to be a great rest of this month, and after this is november, which means thanksgiving and family stuff, and better fall weather hopefully and that means getting spencer to wear more sweaters.. mmmph and then after that is december which means holiday season, and more family stuff, and of course, finding a time to see spencer and be cozy and watch christmas movies and again, get him into more sweaters.. mmmmmmmph yes babe

there is so much to look forward to!! events and planning christmas presents for people omigod im gunna start that note on my phone, theres so much to do!! cuz i also have so many new great friends for this holiday season which means more presents for people which im always excited about :) and getting to watch my puppy grow up and see my family and take in the quality time together <3

i am loved. i am blessed. i am grateful. i want to spread love and positive vibes and happiness and love! so much love :)

okay. that’s all for tonight. shower, brush teeth, go to sleep. take care of yourself. LOVE

#samiswriting

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movietvtechgeeks · 7 years

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Latest story from https://movietvtechgeeks.com/im-playing-now-table-top-racing-animal-boxing-far-cry-4-still/

What I'm Playing Now: Table Top Racing, Animal Boxing and Far Cry 4 still

This week, I hit the tracks with Table Top Racing: World Tour on the PS4, got the hell out of Kyrat by finishing Far Cry 4 (spoiler warning), and wrapped my hands to strike with Animal Boxing on the DS. Let’s take a look at what I’m playing now! Table Top Racing: World Tour I don’t play very many racing games (Mario Kart and Modnation Racers being the recent exceptions), but for whatever reason, I had the urge to do so this week. I thought about placing an order for Mario Kart on the Wii U, until I saw Table Top Racing sitting in my digital PS4 collection (it was free with PS Plus some time ago). Given that it was already on the console and that there would likely be enough players to find online matches (because the game was free for a while), I dove into Table op Racing, starting first with the cup missions. Once I found my bearings and remembered how to properly control an in-game car (Far Cry 4’s over-simplified one-stick control scheme was still messing me up), I quickly found that Table Top Racing is an awesome and imaginative title. Admittedly, there isn’t really much room for racing games to further revolutionize their content; whatever innovations and improvements barbecue, the fact remains that vehicles or persons of some kind will need to try and reach a specific point faster than their opponents. With this considered, logic indicates that racing-game developers would simply focus their creative efforts on improving fun. Although I’ve once again not been particularly close to the genre, it doesn’t look like many games do this (instead focusing on features and layered depth). Table Top Racing, however, does. Sure, the controls boasted by the title are solid, and similarly to the way that it doesn’t “drift” too far from traditional mechanics in this sense, the power-ups in the game are also pretty normal. Where Table Top Racing really shines is in its stages, which create an undeniably impressive quality of character and atmosphere. During my relatively limited time with Table Top Racing, I cruised through a fancy barbeque setting, the bedroom of a run-of-the-mill 80s child, a well-stocked sushi restaurant, and an auto factory, amongst others. Each of these stages is littered with cool and eye-catching decorations and items (Simon Says in the bedroom, the waving cat in the sushi restaurant, etc.), and the attention to detail is remarkable. These immersive environments—which make watching the road and other drivers a challenge—are what push Table Top Racing above the competition. Despite playing only a few online matches (partially because everyone else is so damned good), the multiplayer functions of Table Top Racing worked well, for the most part. The fun within the title can be easily found by players, as can its lesson to the industry: you’re not going to break any new ground with a racing game, so you might as well focus solely on making it enjoyable to play. Far Cry 4 I wrote extensively about Far Cry 4 last week, so I’ll try and keep the following final impressions brief. It should be noted that it DOES CONTAIN SPOILERS. I don’t know what Ubisoft was thinking when they created such infuriating story characters, allowed them to trample all over the player (defying logic and reason in the process), and then didn’t bother to include any revenge path. I chose to kill Amita only because I assumed she’d be an issue in the future, and I was hoping to overthrow and execute Sabal with as little trouble as possible (I was nearly certain that Ubisoft was going to include one of these missions at the end). The two went from being fundamentally split on core issues to ordering the main character around and saying the dumbest, most nonsensical dribble in imaginable. This same sensation, in my opinion, was found in the game as whole—especially during the last third (that jail sequence was awful). Sure, with the crazy and deceiving ending, Far Cry 4 was different than many other titles. But it leaves the player (or this player) feeling so unsatisfied, confused, and frustrated that it’s not worth the shock value Different doesn’t always mean better, especially when the components that need to be switched-up—the missions, healing style, controls, activities, and much more—are the same as always. Animal Boxing When I purchased Animal Boxing for next to nothing from Best Buy’s used game sale a while back, I admittedly didn’t expect much. I was intrigued by a game that seemed crazy and relatively obscure. Its low price of roughly $2 was also appealing. Much to my surprise, Animal Boxing is actually fairly good! The story is predictably weak and not even worth mentioning, but you get to play as a human and compete in the Sweet Science against all kinds of animals. In the bronze cup, I faced the likes of a chicken, chipmunk, lizard, and another couple animals I can’t quite remember. Like its core concept, the gameplay found within AB is unique. I was very skeptical at first, but to play, you turn the DS completely upside down. Then you use the touch screen to select your strikes. Throwing straight punches (simply tap), hooks (slide towards the target from either side), or an uppercut (slide vertically) is very responsive and straightforward. Believe it or not, the tap-based gameplay feels excellent like this. In fact, it’s hard to imagine playing any other way; using the touchpad with the system situated normally would be cramped, given the frequency with which strikes (taps) must be utilized. The top screen also displays some imagery when the system is upside down, and the control pad is used to block punches and dodge left or right. If you’ve ever had the urge to try and outbox a chicken, I wholeheartedly recommend Animal Boxing. It’s not the best game ever, but if you play with an open mind, you’ll find a lot to enjoy—especially for the price. Purchases Because I complain so much about my backlog, I figured that I’d add a feature to each “What I’m Playing Now” piece that highlights my video game purchases for the week, to demonstrate the essentially indestructible force that I’m forced to tackle whenever I sit down to play a game—something much more powerful than in-game enemies and multiplayer opponents. Mass Effect 3: Special Edition on the Wii U—$6.17 Shipped Because I have a free month of Walmart’s Shipping Pass until the end of August, I went ahead and ordered Mass Effect 3 on the Wii U. I’ve only played the first two games, I don’t use my Wii U enough, and this version received pretty impressive reviews. The free shipping and low price also helped. Motor Storm: Arctic Edge, Socom Tactical Strike, and Syphon Filter: Logan’s Shadow on the PSP—$9 Shipped (Total) I was on the fence with this purchase because I don’t play the PSP very much anymore, but the free shipping, low prices, and new condition sealed the deal for me. I ended up getting all three of the Sony-developed games for around $9 shipped ($2.81 each and tax). It might be a while before I tackle them, but this price was too good to pass up. Brothers on the Xbox One—$5.30 Shipped I don’t know much about it, but Brothers has always looked appealing. I missed the game a while back during a Microsoft Store sale, but this is roughly the same price it was available for there. Next week, I’ll play through Ether One on the PS4 and some other games which I haven’t quite selected yet. I can’t believe No Man’s Sky is almost here (while I’m excited about the game, the basis of my disbelief is mainly the fact that it’s already August), and I’ll be playing that upon release as well. Enjoy the games!

Movie TV Tech Geeks News

#Animal Boxing #Far Cry #Featured #Gaming #Nintendo #PS4 #Xbox One S3

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thespanglydragon · 7 years

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a brief (not at all brief) update on my life until the next time I remember i have this blog and need to sort out my thoughts:

i got a 1st in my first project of the year. I find out my dissertation and second project marks next week, and if they’re both in the high 60s i might be able to graduate with a 1st overall. Which is scary, because if I could then I will feel really disappointed if i dont manage it. I cant tell how to deal with that... but a 2:1 is awesome and would be fitting. I expect that mark, I dont know if I expect a 1st.

I’m fairly stressed in a preemptive way because of all of the work I need to be doing soon, I’m learning lots of things in these projects that I wish I’d learned last year (which I didnt learn because instead I was trying to direct a project which was another learning curve. I wish I had more time to fit in what I’m learning now, cause I wish I knew it now to make my input into my current projects all it could be). Another 6 months of this course would have done me well.

The boy I like, I’m constantly between ‘hes cute and nice’ and ‘hes a friend’ because he is both - i’ve gotten to know him better and i like that regardless of whatever my romantic feelings are. I’m still not 100%, and it’s a crush, but I’m happy not doing anything much about it. I take the opportunity to spend more time with him, but I also do that more with my close friends anyway because I think i’m feeling that soon, once we graduate, we’ll all split off and I love these guys so much in such a gentle friendly way.

I’m feeling really good about having a crush because... for once, even though I’ve always been ‘im happy not doing anything about it’, it’s not preventing me from being the best I can be. I’m not avoiding him or feeling weird around him at all, if anything it’s making me feel more confident about myself because it just feels very nice and my life is culminating right now into a place where I feel good about myself and my friends, where I could go with my career, and having a crush is a part of life that is enjoyable, and i’m happy and surprised that i’m more confident around him than I ever was before I liked him (since we’ve been friends for almost 2 years).

That said, I’m annoyed because I’d told people a few months ago I liked him, but now another person gave away the game to another friend and it’s not something I want to go around. I know full well how I feel about him but that doesnt mean I want other people to know, mainly because of that first issue - I’m happy with him as a friend, and I dont want to disrupt that friendship because people find out and try to either force a situation, or let him know which could very easily disrupt a normal friendship. I’m getting to the point where I just want people to shut up about anything involving me and relationships - because there are also people who still bring up my ex being like ‘oh how’s he’ ‘oh what about ryan’ or making comments implying theres something there when there isn’t. Leave it. I’ve gotten over it, he has too, it was almost 2 years ago now, I dont see him much but you guys see him a lot because the friends group has gone that way. Just allow us to exist as people who arent involved in each others lives beyond being on the same course and having similar friends circles. It really pisses me off.

However, I definitely dont help this point because I’ve developed a habit of being ruthlessly truthful as a defense mechanism, specifically about feelings. I think I got to the point where being totally accepting of my feelings, and not hiding that (in fact letting people know) about them was a good thing I got into when I was getting out of depression, cause I could accept any emotion I had at the time and do something about it, and was very unapologetic if people expressed any kind of intrigue. I used it when I was younger and depressed as a way to try to give blame to other people by making them feel guilty, but it turned into just not letting me blame myself for the illness. Growing out of that kind of means now, I’m overly happy to share my feelings or secrets, when in reality I dont really want people in on the situation. I’m slowly trying to learn about .... emotional modesty? I dont need people to know everything I’ve ever felt, I dont need to tell my every hearts desire or secret. I think acknowledging that is part of me feeling much better about myself and my life in general that’s been happening over the past year - I dont feel like I need other people’s validation to be happy (which is something that plagued me in first year). But I just need to get out of the habit of being so wanting of attention in that way. I’m good as I am, people do like me, I have awesome friends who love me, I dont need some kind of extra quirk or something that will make me interesting.

Oh, and my parents got a new puppy!!!! and i went to an AWESOME harry potter quiz with alcoholic (and delicious) butterbeer that was waaaaaay better than the stuff you get at the studios tbh, me and my sisters and co came 15th out of about 50 which isn’t bad considering some of the rounds were so hard I’m amazed people actually got any answers (such as naming the specific scene a short clip of music was from - and they were obscure like ‘the first time the staircase moves in the first film’ but not when they go into the out of bounds corridor etc)

I’ve also gotten into a routine (something I’m sure 16 year old me would attack me for) of being in uni by 10 (soon to turn to 9), staying tile 8 each night, doing work, not letting myself have facebook on my main computer screen, and i’m really... enjoying it? Posting my collaboration work on the group each evening to recieve feedback. We had two media weeks (bit like reading weeks) where I was in every day, and now lessons have started back again I’m getting annoyed cause I cant do as much work as usual because lectures are getting in the way! I’m really liking it! It’s really nice to feel because the routine is making me feel better, sleep better, not so much eat better cause I’d rather cook for lunch than spend but ehh, but it’s just nice to feel like I’m now someone who can work in this kind of ‘working life’ routine, I will actually fit in and enjoy office work if it’s like my uni work life now (I’m not the only one spending days in our uni room doing work rather than staying at home - a core group of us are agreeing that separating home life and uni life is definitely beneficial to our work and keeping on track, and that being a good feeling rather than feeling like a chore). It’s nice to experience learning that, rather than having that idea forced on young people as it sometimes seems to be (ending up with people who isolate themselves and are unhappy and dont know why, because they’ve not learnt to have a working life balance) I dont know, everything’s really good right now, I actually feel like I want a career in this, I am enjoying my work, I’m doing well at uni, I have lovely friends, I cant get over how lovely and yet calm my life is. It’s like everything is happening in my life with this tinge of yellowy sunlight, bad things may happen but overall, my life is good and regular and I have aims and there are things that could be better, but that’s good because i can work to get them.

#.personal.#this is odd. it's just clearing and solidifying my thoughts which is nice #it's good to see it written and have a plan

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uniblogyear2semester2 · 6 years

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The beginning – week 1

Another great start to a new semester in game design prototyping, again juan took the lecture and set us off on a very quick journey to a new destination on the course.

This semester we are to create a 3rd person game with a very lenient brief meaning we can base the game off of anything we wanted really in terms of themes and dynamics.

At the end of the first lecture juan told us to split off into pairs and come up with a 2-minute pitch idea for a story and so me and paddy split off into our partnership and started coming up with ideas for the coming presentation next week.

Immediately I already had an idea as I had my mind set on a theme and story for a while.

I wanted to create a medieval fantasy adventure game with a different post-apocalyptic theme embedded within it and so I started to ponder more thoughts into that and coming up with a good story and plot for it as well as exploring the lore.

Over the course of the next week I had come up with an idea which I absolutely loved and so did paddy, he was on-board. The idea came to be “The Blight”, I have created a brief description of the blight to give a little context.

“The story is set 5 years after the war where a great tragedy befell one kingdom turning it into the blight. The blight, slowly devouring the world birthing creatures of nightmare and demon spawn from its dark magical essence. The story follows Elias Lycian, a renowned ranger tasked with protecting the borders of the Bree kingdom from the blight and its many evils.

Elias accompanied by his 4 legged companion, Sphax are to watch the borderlands of the kingdom and protect it from the inevitable approaching death that the blight brings forth.”

Now that is just a very brief description of the idea that I have and I will go into more detail on the idea if it gets chosen next week as a project to work on for the semester so fingers crossed.

Week 2

So it was presentation day today and we absolutely smashed it, paddy left the talking to me and was designated PowerPoint clicker. Luckily my idea was chosen which I am very happy about. We managed to get six people who wanted to work on our idea but despite that me and the lads all still wanted to work with each other just like previous projects as for some reason we seem to work very well together despite being friends although this time around we have the addition of Ryan so in total there are myself as the narrative director, programmer and assistant artist. Toby is the project lead as he is better at the managerial tasks than I am. Paddy and Brad as our artists again and as well as Ryan who is also an artist and a very good modeller.

The workload this week for myself is to construct a one page game design document to outline the concept of the game, the mechanics, gameplay and other important elements.

After having completed the GDD I’m very happy with the amount of detail that I put into it and I’m very certain that the group will be too, this is a very important piece as it is the base foundation for the group to work on. Im happy with the amount if detail that we put into it though I am looking forward to the extended GDD where I have more space to write about the idea.

Week 3

Me and the group had a scrum meeting today and all decided what it was we were going to do this week and we looked over everything we did last week and I was impressed with Ryans wolf I must say was quite impressive especially at this stage. Paddy’s art work was good and brad made a basic log cabin for us to work with. In terms of workload this week for me I was tasked with working on an environment piece as well as some character development. The environment is a piece where Elias is stood at his post looking into the blight and at the black figure staring back at him. Im really happy with the outcome of the piece although I want to go back over it at a later stage and add more detail and the same for the character sketches that I am working on. I still feel as though we need to be producing more work as a group at this point and so next week I think we all need to have a talk about where its going.

Week 4

This week I happened to miss juans lecture due to a personal matter but none the less I managed to reconvene with the group outside of class and get to grounds with what the ball plan was.

For me this week I had to create the start of the alpha prototype level and I already knew what I had in mind, I knew it would be tough as I haven’t used the unity level design features for quite some time but I got back into swing of things fairly quickly.

The level would coincide with the story as the section of the level that I have built is the hill side where the rangers live in the log cabin which overlooks the blight and is the border that they have to protect, obviously I am not able to make a full border for the kingdom but I started on a specific section overlooking the forest and village which is my plan anyway.

This week I managed to complete a good section of the map, which was just the borderlands, hillside and cabin. Ill insert the images I too below. Due to it being the alpha stages I used very basic textures to provide some depth for the player to appreciate. The cabin and all of the assets are still very basic but in a few more weeks it will look much better. In terms of narrative this will be the first level in which the ranger, Elias who the player will control is tracking a demon that managed to cross the border and venture into the kingdom towards the village which I have yet to create. We are quite a fair way away from using any combat features yet but hopefully soon we will see some action.

We are using a place holder character model for now also until the artists make our own, the group as of now are working very poorly for the most part, everyone is very demotivated but im hoping that will change around soon. I need to work on the story a little more at some point but I think next week I will continue with the level and hopefully have something more presentable and fully fledged although I think one of the main priorities is to actually have gameplay rather than a level as juan said. That Is something myself and the group need to realise as the alpha testing stages are coming up quickly. Im very happy with the work I have done this week, I would have liked to have had more of our own models and assets to play with but unfortunately we aren’t there yet so I did what I could with what I had. The level itself I think looks nice. It still needs a lot of work of course but I want to have a finished alpha level by next week so I will be keeping updates on how the next sprint goes but all in all im happy with the work I put in, though I always feel I could do more and so I will try and better myself each time.

Week 5

This week was more of a semi productive week, as I mentioned in my last post I was aiming to have more work done on the alpha level for the game, im really enjoying the level design at the minute. Unfortunately my laptop decided to break half way through the week which set me back quite a lot and so it wasn’t until the day before the deadline that I was able to actually continue with the work when it was back up and running. I mapped out the rest of the level world for the most part, there is still a great deal to be done but for the alpha I think it will be okay. I added a very small settlement with brads new cabin variants in a circle formation down at the bottom of the map at the base of a rough mountain formation.

I added a few more forests around the world too but the only problem is that if I add too many the game will really lag due to the high poly count of each tree. I then went around and start to change the terrain a little more to add more variation from the flat plain, I also added a few place holder textures into the world also.

One thing I really wanted to focus on was a water fall but I am not yet skilled enough to actually use the particle effect system effectively and so I managed to make a river and I am going to leave the waterfall for now. The water I used for the river was also a place holder texture object but it is very effective for what we need at this stage.

The main struggle for our group at the minute is motivation, everyone is still doing the bare minimum and its putting us behind massively, there’s no passion this semester for some reason and it is very frustrating. I really do want to make an amazing game and I know that we can if we apply ourselves.

The upcoming code for the game will be very difficult to actually accomplish and it will require many hours of watching tutorials to figure out how to actually make it work, we need enemy AI’s, player health, damage calculation, sword and bow combat, the enemy attack function and a lot more, there is a lot to do but there are only two programmers and we aren’t the most experienced by any means so this is going to be a big struggle to accomplish but I think we might just manage it.

Overall im happy with the work that I produced though I wish I had more time to do more and to a higher professional standard.

Week 6

This week was a very slow week and very little was accomplished despite my hours of effort due to my skill level now being high enough.

My task for the week was to figure out a way to make combat within the game and use various scripts to make this combat work effectively. I spent roughly 9 + hours watching videos and trying to figure out combat for the game but I just couldn’t do it, either the type of combat wasn’t correct for the 3rd person camera or the scripts would clash with the character within our game. After spinning my wheels for so long I decided to go with another approach. None of the methods I had tried worked so I started to watched a tutorial series from scratch on a personal scene in unity until I had some solid combat working. I had to create a new, different type of 3rd person controller and followed along as well as I could. This camera was a point and click camera without the use of WASD for movement though if required I think I would be able to implement that in to the script.

The series is very long and the combat doesn’t come into it until about two thirds of the way through but I don’t want to miss anything out. The game mainly focuses on the use of an interactive script which all of the other scripts reference so they use everything within that script. I think this script will be derived into the combat script eventually. I have started somewhat creating an inventory system for the game which is very confusing but I’m following along the best I can and making it my own as I do.

I think I will be sticking with this work for the coming weeks but I think I need to look back at the story at some point to see how that it coming along and how we can reference it into the game and make it an immersive experience.

Week 7 – following the events of the 27th of march

Unfortunately, I was met with some events which would really off road my progress in the group more than I would’ve liked. On my birthday the 27th of march I went out to celebrate with some friends and a group of people decided to start some trouble which ultimately resulted in me breaking my leg and so from this I was forced to move back home leaving all of my work station in my accommodation barren for a few weeks. Due to this the amount of work I was able to put in was limited as keeping track of everyone and with everyone was extremely hard as I prefer to communicate and sort things out in person and due to me not being able to I found it very hard to adapt.

I found this whole thing extremely frustrating as I put in a great deal of effort into the game and the narrative and level building side of things and to make matters worse my laptop broke again and that took me a fair while to get it repaired and once it was repaired it wouldn’t let me unity game function properly and so I was no longer able to have an input in the game which wasn’t the end of the world, I could still help with the managerial tasks such as presentations, game design documents and story etc.

Luckily, I had already built the game world and it only needed a few extra tweaks which I believe toby added. I managed to get to call Toby 3 times per week and he tried to keep me up to date on what everyone was doing and how things were going and so my input at this point was more verbal than physical to the group but we managed with what we could.

Week 10

This week we had external testing or the group did and unfortunately I wasn’t able to be there due to my current circumstance which Is extremely annoying in all honesty, you put so much effort into the game and the story for the game and then I cant even access the game on unity and am unable to get to Salford to view the testing session but despite all of that I rang toby as soon as he was finished and he told me everything went find, he sent me over a copy of the external testing notes and we went over and I gave him all the feedback and aid I could on how we could improve the game based upon what the others had said.

All in all though it looks very positive so far, the game itself looks really nice and runs really nice. The features are coming along nicely apart from the combat doesn’t seem to be working and in all honesty I don’t think myself or anyone else in the group is able to achieve the level of combat that we want but none the less I spent many hours doing so when I was back at uni but never came to a successful conclusion.

So for this week I mainly went back over all the work we had done that I could access and made some rough adjustments and touch ups to refine everything and helped out with looking over the feedback we received about the game. I am very happy with everything so far and the changes I have made and I look forward to seeing where the game ends up in the future.

Week 11

Okay so this week I really enjoyed and I don’t really know why. Long story short I had to start on the game design document for the blight, now the game design document is a much bigger and more detailed version of the one page game design document and therefore requires much more attention to detail.

I once again referred back to the work I did for the GDD on the game escape from north korea just to give me a nod in the right direction and im really glad I looked back over it as it gave me a great idea on what else I needed to include and many other aspects that I could improve on, for example the north korea game was very bare bones compared to what I had planned for this one and although I cant complete all of the sections there are still a great deal of sections for me to complete especially from the narrative stand point.

For me one of the most important areas in any game document is the context and concept overview of the game as this is what people first read and need to know about your game, luckily I gave this quite a lot of thought when I created the one page document and so I had a great starting point to follow.

The game overview was split into 5 sections:

· Game concept

· Genre

· Target audience

· Game flow summary

· Look and feel

For me this section of the document is the most interesting and the most fun to talk about and explain. It is also the most relevant section for me to explain as im the one who came up with the game idea and story itself so I think im qualified enough to talk about it.

This section took me a good while as I wanted to make sure that I got all of the information down that was necessary and really gave our game justice. Though it’s a very mundane task going through each individual point I still had to do it.

When it came to the target audience section I was able to get down some detailed information because I referenced back to the testing session we did or that the group did and looked at if the people who played it particularly the ones who fit the demographic of our target audience enjoyed it, this gave me very good insight when it came to explain the target audience and why we think that they would like it.

For the next section of the document I had to talk about the Gameplay and mechanics which in my opinion is probably the most boring to explain as we want to talk about what the game is, not how it works but even so I had to complete the following sections.

· Gameplay

· Game progression

· Mission/challenge structure

· Puzzle structure

· Objectives

· Mechanics

· Physics

· Movement in the game

· Objects

· Actions

· Combat

· Economy

· Screen Flow

As you can see there are many different points that make up the gameplay and mechanics section and so this did take me a while as I found it harder to explain the more technical side of the game as a pose to the story and conceptual side but even so I managed to get through it.

Now even though there are many points here, not all of them apply to our game in particular, these are just template points to discuss but even so I had to talk about why we did or did not choose to include that certain point. I know in our game we don’t have an economy system and so I explained why that was instead of just leaving it out.

One thing I wish that out game had was a working combat system as I feel that this is a very key thing most games should have but even though we don’t I explained what we do have instead. Even though the combat system does not work I still think that the story out shines this aspect which is something I’m happy about.

For this week that is everything I managed to complete as it took me a while to go back over and check through everything making sure I hit all of the relative points that needed to be explained. Next week I am to complete the further sections of the GDD.

If I could go back and change anything which I probably will is the content within the mechanics section as I feel that this was the weakest part for me to talk about and due to it being one of the most important parts I think it deserves to be revisited.

Week 12

As I said in last weeks post this week I was continuing on with game design document and have rounded it up to a very nice conclusion for the parts that I was assigned. Before I started the sections for this week I firstly went back and took another look over the mechanics section for the game as I don’t feel I did it justice in my first draft. I find it hard to explain these sorts of things in a good detailed technical manner and so I referenced a little bit more and later came to something that I consider a good level and just for a further piece of mind I asked toby to go over and look at the parts I wasn’t sure about to see if there’s anything that he would add.

The sections that I went through this week were very fun to talk about and just seemed to flow, I still referenced my older work in order to have a direction on where to go but less was needed this time around.

The first point that I had to talk about was the Story, Setting and Character section and the points are as follows:

· Story and narrative

· General look and feel of the world

· Areas of the world

· Characters

As I said earlier I found this section extremely enjoyable and easier to talk about as the narrative story and world building side of a game is my niche and what I love to do and so discussing these parts was a breeze but none the less I checked over it many of times to ensure that I applied the greatest level of detail that I could.

My favourite sub points to discuss were the story and narrative and the characters as these are two of the main focus points of the game and are also things I spent hours coming up with and developing way before the game was even in prototyping stages.

The last section which I started on but did not finish was the Levels section. The reason I did not finish this is because toby has a better understanding of this section and so he wanted to go over it himself.

Overall I’m really happy with the amount of work that I put into this section and I would struggle to go back over and change anything.

Week 14

This weeks work load was a shorter one as we are nearing the deadline date and all I had to do was complete the relative slides on the presentation and because I am unable to be there I gave toby some notes and things to talk about in my stead. I gave a brief summary on the slides and the things to talk about and I think the group will do a very good job

Week15

Well this week I heard back from the group and they said that the presentation went okay but not as well as expected which is slightly disappointing but I cannot judge as I wasn’t even there to help them out which is extremely frustrating as I put the effort in but am unable to actually show the game I’m passionate about off.

Now we are closing in on the deadline I had to fill out the peer assessment form and so I thought I might just explain what it was that I actually put down for the members and why that is.

Firstly, we can start with Toby, now Toby has been extremely good this semester as leader, right from the start me and him got on the same page about the game and worked very well together and even though the game was my idea I thought it best to let him lead because he is far better at coordinating a team than I am and though at first he was reluctant he accepted and has shown his true colours which I thought to be true at the start, a great leader.

Though toby at times did lack passion and enthusiasm due to other team members not putting the effort it he can be excused as we are all guilty of this, when few people are actually putting the effort in it is hard to stay on that path knowing that others do not share the same passion. Toby this semester was very god with the game making side of things, he took over where I had to leave off, once my laptop broke and I had to go home due to my injury he created some great work within the blight and has made a great job all on his own.

This Is a great accolade as he was the only person for the most part who actually had any input making the game in unity especially when I wasn’t there to help him, no one else wanted to give unity a try and me and toby are expert programmers by any means but he still did extremely well while being at his current skill level.

Secondly, we have Paddy, now I was going to put Paddy, Brad and Ryan under the same category as they all worked at the same level but I thought I may as well individualise it.

Paddy is great artist when it comes to conceptual work on paper but when it came to making digital assets in the game he was very reluctant and so for many weeks just made drawings on paper, yes they were great drawings but after a few weeks in we required digital assets and we had minimal to none which set us back. He like Brad and Ryan didn’t contribute to unity and instead left it to me and toby and so at this point we had three people on the art side of things and no one to really help out with the game and so that’s why I built the game world in the first place.

Paddy sometimes struggled with deadline meeting but the work that he did hand in was to a good level.

Thirdly we had Brad and now much like Paddy he is a great artist but more on the modelling and graphics side of things and I must say he is very good and was able to construct some good low poly models in the prototyping section of the game but even so he lacked enthusiasm as well as passion for the project. Brad mate almost every deadline but when he did the work he provided was the bare minimum which really frustrated me because I know he’s a very good modeller but didn’t want to go further than he had to.

Once again brad never wanted to use unity and left that to me and toby again slowing the process, it was toby who had to import all of the assets into unity whereas the others could have helped to speed up the process but they didn’t.

Overall Brad was a good modeller but didn’t go further than he needed to and never offered to help out in other areas.

Lastly, we have Ryan and now Ryan is very talented with maya and model making but never put much effort in, he produced a very low poly wolf and animated it to some extent within the first week which I thought to be outstanding at the time but then just sort of dropped off the grid and just created a very basic model character throughout the project and didn’t do much else, he never offered to do any more work than he had to and met the bare minimum requirements just like the other artists but the work that he did do was to a good level none the less I just know that if he wanted to he could have done much more.

Disclaimer: due to my laptop breaking i lost many screenshots of the step by step workload i went through and so this is why my blog is lacking in images and evidence but i inserted what i could find.

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alanajacksontx · 6 years

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A beginner’s guide to display advertising

If you are a business looking to dive into display advertising, it can be overwhelming.

In an increasingly digital world, where everybody’s eyes are glued to a screen, most advertising can seem like white noise. So you want to make sure you’re designing and promoting worthwhile ads in a proper venue.

Here we’ll go over some simple best practices for creating a display ad: how to decide where to advertise, and what type of advertising you want to pursue. You can reach out to websites directly and do the dirty work yourself, or you can also utilize a marketing network to manage your marketing.

Lastly, you want to make sure that you are spending your dollars wisely, so you’ll need to measure the impact of your campaign.

What are the main types of display advertising?

Display advertising is a bit of a blanket term because it covers just about any visual advertisement on a website. However, this broad category can be divided up into a few main types:

Site placement advertising: This is when a marketer/advertiser chooses the site they would like to advertise on.

Contextual advertising: This is when you advertise your product or service on a website with similar content. IE- promoting wedding dresses on a honeymoon destination website.

Remarketing advertising: These ads appear when a user has already been to your website. A service uses cookies to track the visit, and then your ad would appear on another website they visit, and ideally this causes the user to return to your website. This would be done through a marketing network like Google Display Network (more on that later).

Display ad standards

When it comes to digital advertising, there are standards that both advertisers and publishers must adhere to.

The Interactive Advertising Bureau (IAB) is an organization that provides insight on industry standards for digital media. In its display ad guidelines, the IAB states that display ads should be “distinguishable from normal web page content and the ad unit must have clearly defined borders and not confused with normal web content”.

They also recommend flexible ad sizing, meaning the ad units are defined by aspect ratios that can adjust based on the screen size the user is viewing. In their guide to ad sizes, Google lists top performing ad sizes as 300×350 (medium rectangle), 336×280 (large rectangle), 728×90 (leaderboard), 300×600 (half page), and 320×100 (large mobile banner).

Display ad creation best practices

When working on design it is important to create ads that are unique and clearly identify your goal, here are some simple practices for creation.

Make sure you are relevant

Ads need to be relevant to your audience as well as your main objective. You want to entice a viewer, not annoy them.

If you are using contextual display advertising, your ad is already on a website with similar content to your product. When a user clicks on your ad, it’s important that it leads to a corresponding landing page, not just your main website.

For instance, if the viewer clicks on a banner ad for a Valentine’s Day sale, you should have this link to a stand-alone landing page that focuses on that topic, not your main ecommerce site.

Keep mobile in mind

Display ads were originally geared towards a desktop user, and mobile users were considered second. However tides have turned and that has flipped around.

According to recent eMarketer research 70.5% of all display ads in the US are mobile. Meaning depending on the audience you are trying to target, you may want to create ads with mobile-viewing in mind first.

Compelling, concise, clear design

Google Marketing advises to use the “3 C’s” when it comes to creating display ads: compelling, concise, clear. You want your ad to stand out by using eye-catching design, with a clear call to action button (CTA).

Use high resolution images. Display ads can be very compact, so your pitch and CTA need to be brief. Lastly, your marketing goal needs to be clear, only advertise one message- sign up now, check out our holiday sale, etc. You want to avoid overloading your viewer.

How to start display ad marketing

With site placement advertising you can directly approach a website or publisher on your own. This could work for a small local business that knows its market.

For instance, if you are an event planning company, you could approach your local chamber of commerce about advertising on their website. However, depending on your digital marketing goals, it might be better to work with a third-party service.

Here are three popular options:

Google Display Network

This is the display ad arm of Google AdWords. Google Display Network offers over 2 million websites that your ad can appear on. It also promotes ads across other platforms like apps and mobile-based programs.

They use contextual and remarketing advertising to target your audience. Their guidelines can be somewhat strict to adhere to, but this is one of the largest audiences you will be able to reach, all with the backing of Google. AdWords also offers deep analysis of your campaign’s performance.

Facebook Audience Network

With over 1 billion users worldwide, Facebook offers a huge audience for digital marketing. Their ads not only appear on Facebook, but other high traffic apps and sites. If you are already using Facebook advertising for your business page, transitioning to using the audience network is fairly simple, their advertising guidelines are the same.

Media.net

This allows you to display ads on the Yahoo! Bing Network, which may not be as large as it once was (or as Google’s), but they claim that they reach 46 million unique searchers who aren’t using Google.

Measure your results

However you chose to display advertise, you need to track your ad performance. What is your marketing goal, and is your digital campaign getting you there?

Hubspot recommends tracking the following KPIs:

New site visitors: How many new visits after launching the campaign

Engagement: Time spent on your site, page views, bounce rate

Number of conversions

If you are individually managing your display advertising, you can request this info from your publishing website, or track where traffic is coming from on your landing pages.

If you are using a service like Google Display Network you can download analytic reports and use their tools to monitor conversion tracking.

Is it worth it?

Display advertising can help you reach a targeted customer base, drive engagement, and get users to your site. Navigating this type of digital marketing can be complicated. The click-through rate on display ads hovers around 0.07% worldwide, which often scares marketers away.

Yet in spite of this, display advertising is continuing to grow. A recent IAB study found that display ads grew 13.1% in 2017 (compared to search ads at just 12.8%). If you have a measurable goal for your campaign, create compelling ads, and you keep track of results you can see a high ROI in a short amount of time.

If you found this guide useful, don’t miss our other beginner’s guides to search marketing and advertising:

Google AdWords: The Beginner’s Guide

PPC 101: Eight tips to get started with paid search

How to get started with Facebook advertising: A step-by-step guide

A search marketer’s guide to using paid social media

Amanda DiSilvestro is a writer for No Risk SEO, an all-in-one reporting platform for agencies. You can connect with Amanda on Twitter and LinkedIn, or check out her content services at amandadisilvestro.com.

from IM Tips And Tricks https://searchenginewatch.com/2018/02/14/a-beginners-guide-to-display-advertising/ from Rising Phoenix SEO https://risingphxseo.tumblr.com/post/170870428465

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