#but im just a person! who deserves friendship like that! and i havent been able to accept that until very recently

[pan-annigans]

Jay x Nya: best ship!!!

Zane x Pixal: they are soulmates and no one can say otherwise.

Kai x Skylor: the two of them balance each other well, plus seeing Kai get all lovey-dovey around Skylor is just cute.

Lloyd x Akita: Akita likes Lloyd for himself and isn’t interested in his status as the Green Ninja, she just might be the one person he could be with without having to worry about keeping up appearances.

Cole x Vania: they’re just great together (as lovers or as friends), their dynamic is sweet and both admire and encourage each other with just simple honest words.

hi!! thank you so much!

I'm going to post art for all of these, along with a few of my thoughts on the ships that have been sent to me. Just for funsies :)

Fun fact, I used to hate Jaya. I thought it was really forced in the canon, and Jay's really obsessive behavior that is the catalyst for all of the events in Skybound always really bothered me? But tumblr has completely turned me around on this ship. They have their moments in canon, but in fanon they're really wonderful. thanks tumblr <3

these two...... 🥺they are really good i will admit. I'm a big fan of glaciershipping myself and I tend to prefer it over pixane, but these two are so lovely to each other and i totally see the appeal. I just wish pixal wasn't so sidelined in the canon fr what were they doing with her character??? let her be around more often let her and zane be sweet together. please smh

SKYLOR ALSO HAS NOTHING TO DO MOST OF THE TIME-- honestly this show sidelines like all of its female characters so hard. but these two are great toooo theyre sweeeet 😊 i just wish skylor was used for more than cameos. i like that she's the only one that can consistently shake kai's ego it's a great dynamic

lloyd and akita!! i'm gonna be so real with you guys i forget about akita so often ;v; which is a shame... i give her the award for most sidelined female character because she existed for half a season. but she and lloyd are sweet! I don't tend to ship lloyd with anyone personally, but i do love that they meet under the circumstances of "lloyd is in a world where his name and status mean nothing so he has no pressure to perform". it's a fantastic break for him. holy shit he deserves it

im gonna be so honest with all of you um. i actually. havent seen MotM yet. i was in the middle of my rewatch, and i got up to the point i stopped, right before MotM, and then Netflix changed their watch policies. and then of course i got busy

but from what i've seen of these two in fanon they seem alright! I usually prefer them in other wlw or mlm ships because of ONE ninjago vine compliation thing i saw with the two of them as this one tiktok and i've never been able to think of them as a couple since then. But they seem like they have a lovely friendship, whether that ends up turning to romance or not!

Thank you so much for sending me an ask, this was a lot of fun and I got to draw a lot of characters that I've never drawn before! To those of you who have sent me asks and reblogs and comments on the original post, I will be working through all of them in chronological order from when I received them in my activity tab :)

#ninjago #lego ninjago #nya smith #nya jiang #jay walker #zane julien #pixal borg #kai smith #kai jiang #skylor chen #akita #ninjago akita #lloyd garmadon #cole brookstone #vania #ninjago vania #jaya #pixane #kailor #llokita #hollyshipping #conia #vanillacakeshipping #jay x nya #zane x pixal #kai x skylor #lloyd x akita #cole x vania #I THINK THATS ALL THE SHIP TAGS OUF #a certified pan original

[egotisticalmachine]

its very strange looking back at my childhood and seeing how it affects me in the present day. i was placed on a pedestal above my peers, so it was hard to feel like an equal to any of them, subconsciously. i moved houses constantly, so i came to expect that my friendships would be brief, and i didnt get to develop the ability to form deep lasting connections. at first i had to deal with the pain of being ripped away from my friends, but then i learned to view all my friendships as temporary from the very start. i didnt expect any of them to last. even once my family settled down for a while, and i had the means to stay in contact with friends who went to different schools from me, i must have already missed that critical window of development. and then i moved some more. only now in my early 20s have i started to possibly, maybe put down roots in a location, and even that feels uncertain. i do think all that moving around had a part in my development of NPD, specifically in the way my interpersonal relationships tend to be shallower than they should be. they can still be very intense, but thats heavily influenced by how much attention the other person gives me - and especially when one person gives me much more attention than everyone else, its far too easy for me to ignore everyone but them, just seeking that attention. and in the end i still tend to discard people more easily than other people are able to do so. i think its been a very self-focused approach to interpersonal relationships, but i literally didnt get the chance to learn any other way to build relationships. being selfish has been a survival mechanism to avoid the pain of how many people ive been separated from. its been protecting me from a lot of pain.

i think that all is leading me to treasure these recent friendships even more, though. i havent known any connections like these, but now i have people in my life who im learning the intricacies of, who are learning the intricacies of me. they know me far better than most people do, because they made it very very very abundantly clear that they were safe people to be open with. they give me hope for humanity. i care enough to notice the details about them that make them unique, beyond the surface. i notice when theyve been gone and worry about them, and i dont think its just because i miss their attention, but because of the people they are. they give me a lot of hope for humanity and for the future and for myself. they help remind me that im a human being like the rest of them, and they make me feel cared about, in their own unique ways of expressing care. they are incredibly fucking important to me, to the point that im tearing up a little typing this. i dont want to lose them. theyre my people, my safe people, my family, my loved ones, my friends. with some of them it feels like losing them would be akin to having a limb hacked off. with others, that closeness is still developing, but it feels like theyre getting to that point as well. i dont feel that way about most people. i dont usually care this much. i am very grateful to care this much - its scary, but im so glad. honestly i dont know how i ended up so lucky that i managed to meet them all, or what i could have possibly done to deserve them, but im not going to argue.

[petorahs]

i'm just gonna: ☀️ anon. There.

Anyway: I can see where you're coming from and like I said it has been forever since I played the Answer and I don't /hate/ it. But I guess I always had an issue with Yukari, because she seemed to me needlessly mean to others sometimes? Like she was right and others are wrong so its fine if she can be mean? But that is just what I /remember/. And while yeah, characters are allowed to be mean and not perfect and allways kind, especially female characters, because GOD FORBID women do anything- it also doesn't mean I have to LIKE her. I guess it's because to me Yukari felt like someone who would unironically call someone having fun "cringe", which for me personally is a dealbreaker. But Persona ALWAYS had this issue with having the male bestie be the buttmonkey of jokes, some kind of pervert and dunked on by the other characters and Junpei is still having it the best?? (Yosuke, Ryuji, you boys deserved so so much better).

In any case, I guess I couldnt give her as much leeway or credit because her personality didn't really mesh with me. But now being older I also think that it is BECAUSE of the writing. Persona Games have all extremely low points and extreme high points. The entire first palace is great in persona 5, Persona 4s social links with the Dojima family are really gripping and persona 3 is still one of my faves because it just came at the very right time in my life. (Who would've thought that a game about DEATH as its core theme would SAVE me.) But the writing is not always very consistent and the characters really suffer for it, usually for very stupid reasons like """""humor""""". I guess I am just trying to say that I get what you mean, but Yukari is just not my fave so I guess it is easier for me to lose patience. Like there are characters I'd go to war for in the persona series, so its easier for me to see the GOOD writing aspects, while others might greatly dislike them and therefore have a far easier time seeing the writing from more negative perspectives.

But your analysis has really given me some food for thought. I will definitely try to pay it more attention on a replay!

Oh ONE MORE THING!!!

It always felt like Yukari was pushed as a sort of "main love interest" which always kinda felt off to me when persona games do that. maybe its because i am gay and therefore see myself more representated by same sex couples/queer couples, maybe its because the persona developers believe men and women cant just be friends it always has to be something romantic, maybe its because the romantic writing always seemed forced and reliant on little events like in a romance shoujo manga- idk, but that was also something that rubbed me the wrong way. But that has been issues in P3-P5 throughout. And i feel like p3 got it the worst??? At least in later games you could opt for just a friendship even tho the writing still made it APPARENT THAT THE GIRLS ARE IN LOVE WITH YOU SPECIAL BOY!!! Sorry Yukari, that's not really your fault, thats a systemic fault.

yoo valid as hell though i get wym. if the character isnt for you then they arent for you and again, im not here to convince you otherwise of anything!

when you say it like that i can see why yukari's a bit of a mixed bag. i still like her tho she kinda a baddie and as a guy i like when girls are kinda mean to me so agree to disagree

ah yes the persona lovers arcana girl suffering from pushed "main love interest" syndrome.. i havent played any other aside from p3 and p5 but i heard rise gets worse. but like you said it is a systemic fault. to be real with you none of the romance options in p3 really enticed me despite 3 being hailed as ""the best dating sim"" out of all three modern games. maybe i just need to play portable. or be able to romance ryoji as makoto lmaoo (i saw a screenshot with ryoji saying he'd like you regardless of gender and. 😭 thanks for nothing i guess atlus?)

hard agree on the persona series as a whole having a tendency of doing something really good but then!!........ not. sticking the landing at all. theres so much to be said about it god these games are a hot mess on average its funny. as much as i adooore it, p3's pacing was so ass that i got severe tonal whiplash on oct 4. couldnt even begin to grieve cause i was so shocked

if you ever replay the answer (which. godspeed to you thats a whole grindfest i wouldnt wish on my worse enemy) i hope youre able to have fun and find new things about it to like! overall we can agree that its good so theres that. talk to you soon o7

#ans #aishi.txt #yukari takeba #persona 3 #persona 3 fes #p3 #p3p #god i love talking about p3. or anything persona right now #please send me more asks about persona #or persona characters #the answer #☀️ anon #cute btw #hope you have a great day <3 #wait realized i didnt really answer but i adore ryuji's writing. junpei close second. havent played 4 but i think yosuke is uhm. #bro got the drive i guess...... cant really say anything since i havent played but his internalized homophobia kinda ticks me off a bit #that being said it will always be my moral obligation to like and rt souyo art for my friend who likes p4 #like according to bun yosuke's alright and i believe them #ryuji solos in terms of bro bestie homie types though. #in my humble opinion

[screamingay]

realized today that i feel a kind of love i thought i wasn't capable of feeling for most of my life until now..

#it's friendship what i mean is friendship dhskfhdkdb #but like the kind of friendship where u can talk abt ur sex lives casually and have a good time just eating lunch in a parked car together #i guess we've had that for a while and i have it with all 3 of them but i dont get to spend a day with them one on one often #and i guess ive never been able to accept that we had that kind of love until today #ive always said everyone should be a little bit in love w their friends but i dont think i realized just what it means to be in love w ur #best friend AS just a best friend until today #it's not some kind of crush it's just that she's smart and pretty and funny and has good taste in music and im so lucky shes my friend!!!!! #in high school i really took it to heart that romantic love was the highest form of love and i still yearn for that constantly of course #but it also led me to see friendship as somehow less valuable and also less attainable bc im a big scary dyke who cant just have friends #without making it weird or falling in love or whatever #but im just a person! who deserves friendship like that! and i havent been able to accept that until very recently #it's v nice to be finally be comfortable w my besties 🥺 #personal

[alfredolover119]

I looooove your zukka rec lists! I recently became Avatar-obsessed, never got a chance to watch it as a kid and only just got through it all! I was wondering if you'd consider doing a specifically angst rec list? I love fluffy zukka everything, but sometimes you just gotta have your heart ripped out of your chest and put back in after being thoroughly blended.

thank you! i relate heavily to “recently became Avatar-obsessed” haha. as for the angst list, i sure can try! warning: all of these have happy endings because im a crybaby who can’t read unhappy endings. also, p much all of the fics in the completed section were featured on my other lists but this is specifically the ANGSTY ones >:^)

angsty zukka wips

first, most obviously, feels like we only go backwards by @oldpotatoe

-currently at 102k with 19/27 chapters posted; rated teen

-the amnesia fic. the amnesia fic. the amnesia fic. you know. i haven’t actually read it yet because, as previously mentioned, i’m a crybaby and am waiting for it to finish up but, from my understanding, this fic will murder you in a dark alleyway with no remorse. if u like zukka angst, you’ve probably already read this, but just in case!

An injury leaves Sokka with amnesia. His last memory is of the failed invasion, of leaving his father behind in enemy territory on the Day of Black Sun. Of hopelessness. Rage. // But then he wakes up, and the war is over. Suddenly, he must come to terms with the fact that years have passed, and that he's somehow the Southern Water Tribe Ambassador to the Fire Nation. He is also supposedly friends with banished-Prince-turned-Fire-Lord Zuko, of all people. Close friends.

Yeah, nah.

and i’ll do anything you say (if you say it with your hands) by @goldrushzukka

-currently 38k with 6/8 chapters posted; rated mature

-holy shit. holy SHIT. modern au based on the “my cat likes my fuckbuddy and i am falling in love” trope(?). maybe it’s just because of how the last chapter ended, but oh my god. this one made me cry. made me want to commit violence. when it’s not angsty as hell, it’s pretty funny, but holy shit. ao3 user nebulastucky please.

It’s supposed to be a one night stand. Pick up some guy at a bar, barely remember his name and never learn anything real about him, send him packing in the morning with a thanks for the ride and a cup of coffee to-go. That’s how it’s supposed to go. // But then it’s the best sex Sokka has ever had, and he thinks he’ll hate himself if he never gets to have it again.

Violet Blossoms and Celestial Objects by @hollypunkers

-currently 15k with 2/? posted. rated teen.

-this is the sequel to blue (an angsty, zukka rewrite of book 2-- go read it if u havent!)! !! this is a book 3 rewrite. only two chapters in and mrs hollypunkers is really abusing the miscommunication tag, as zukka writers seem to enjoy doing. im excited to see how the world and story develops with the changes to the story! you should be too!! its very good! obviously spoilers for blue lmao

Having sided with the Avatar in Ba Sing Se, Zuko not only must navigate his new relationship with Sokka but returning to the Fire Nation as a banished enemy. His own journey of self discovery and personal growth must now coexist alongside the personal struggles of every other member of the Gaang as together they blaze a treacherous path toward an unsure victory against Zuko's own father and nation.

breakable heaven by @fruitysokka

-currently 71k with 9/11 chapters posted. rated teen

-swt ambassador zuko! soon to be chief sokka! fake dating ur best friend to get out of an arranged marriage! what could go wrong!!! i also haven’t read this one ((see: i’m a crybaby who is being hurt by too many zukka wips already)), but it has been hanging out in my marked for later for months. from what i understand, this fic has: angst.

With his twenty-first birthday looming just around the corner, the Southern Water Tribe Elders have decided that Sokka, next in line to be Chief, needs to get married. Sokka does not want that, but he does need to get them off his back until he can figure his way out of it. What better way to do that than to pretend to date his best friend (and newly minted Ambassador to the Southern Water Tribe) Zuko? // Seriously, this is a foolproof plan. Maybe one of Sokka's best. Absolutely nothing can go wrong.

angsty zukka fics (completed!)

(i’ll put these in wc order)

lighthouse beam by @incorrectzukka

-7k, rated g

-a modern college au!! zuko’s inner-monologue is very angsty in this fic. typical zuko. also per usual, theyre both fucking dorks. they sort themselves out in the end, but not before The Angst. zuko is semi-deaf in this fic and also he has a bit of internalized homophobia.

Sokka’s breathtakingly beautiful and he’s smart and makes other people laugh. Zuko has a half-burnt face and a deaf ear. It’s not rocket science. // Or, Zuko falls in love with the boy in his Philosophy class.

This Isn’t My Idea of Fun by @khaleeseas

-9k, explicit

-moon spirit/nwt prince!sokka, no war to be found here! admittedly this isnt THAT angsty but like. the angst IS present. zuko is still the prince. a lovely childhood friends (though they hated each other for a minute haha) to lovers story. 

If you asked Zuko, he and Azula saw far too much of Chief Hakoda of the Northern Water Tribe’s children growing up. It wasn’t until they were older, and Azula pointed out that - duh - their families were trying to set them all up, that he realized why. // He was told by his mother to be polite. These people were their friends and allies, and though their nations were as different as they came, harmony between nations was the most important thing. // It wasn’t his fault the Chief’s children were so annoying.

put your lips close to mine (as long as they don’t touch) by @celestialceci

-9k, teen

-modern au! zuko and sokka are college roommates. zuko goes to spend the summer with sokka. again,, not really that angsty but-- its there!! the detail and feeling of Home in this story make me happy. zuko is insecure as hell here too. if ur into that. 

Zuko hates his home. He likes college alright, but he likes Sokka even better, his assigned roommate turned best friend. Spending the summer with Sokka will be fun, a welcome change of pace he desperately wants. It probably won't awaken anything in him... right?

the thing about dancing by anodymalion

-9k, teen

-yes. this one right here officer. it makes my heart ache. also trans sokka! which is cool. but the zuko angst in this one. hurts me. not so much relationship angst as it is zuko learning he deserves happiness angst. i’m sure u know The Type.

The first time a attendant spills Zuko’s tea and doesn’t immediately fall to her knees, begging the Fire Lord’s forgiveness, it is not anger but a resounding warmth that fills his chest.

i could (never) give you peace by @zukkababey

-10k, mature

-OUCH. OUCH OUCH OUCH. boys please learn to communicate im begging u. also zuko.. zuko, dude. as the tags of the fic say, hes “really going through it” in this one. YOUCH. post-canon.

Zuko almost said it. He almost said the words I think I’m in love with you, but he choked them back down at the last second. // Zuko would never be able to be what Sokka wanted. They might have needed each other during the summer, when two boys with too much weight on their shoulders found comfort in each other in the only way they knew how. // But now Zuko was Fire Lord, and Sokka was leaving.

this love burns so yellow (becoming orange and in its time, exploding) by @meliebee 

-18k, teen, major character death 

-i lied. THIS is the one, officer. found family.. good mai and zuko and toph friendships.. . ozai escapes prison and tries to overthrow zuko. OBVIOUSLY angst ensues. poor boy. he Does heal in this but it gets worse before it gets better. angst angst angst angst.

Ten months after Zuko is crowned at seventeen, he faces his first coup.

Anything for You by beersforqueers

-23k, explicit

-istg. this is probably one of my favorite zukka fics. its PAINFUL. modern au where theyre broken up but sokka hasnt told his family yet so zuko goes home with him for kataang wedding. a bit smutty, but the plot oh my god ohgm y fuvk. made me cry the first time i read it. (see: crybaby!me) insert that one picture of the horse with the caption PAIN. 

In which Sokka and Zuko have broken up but Sokka hasn't told his family yet. So when Katara and Aang's wedding weekend rolls around and he doesn't want to break Gran-Gran's heart, he asks Zuko to pretend to be his boyfriend for one last weekend. // Things don't go as planned.

Moving Mountains by @thefangirlingdead

-64k, mature

-so. when i read this the first time it was in one sitting. soulmate au set within canon era / the comics, to an extent. soulmates can hear each others thoughts. i will happily say this is slowburn, jesus christ. champagne without the cham. 

Soulmates are chosen by the spirits and can hear each other’s thoughts. Sokka thinks it’s cheesy and dumb. Zuko thinks it’s poetic justice that he doesn’t have one because he doesn’t deserve it. Cruel irony is finding out that the prince of the Fire Nation (and the person currently hunting you) is your soulmate.

In the Soft Light by @voidcenturyscholar and @romancedawning

-83k, teen, graphic depictions of violence

-moon spirit!sokka living in the northern water tribe. zuko is sent to the northern water tribe as a cultural liaison. iroh is the fire lord but while he is away taking care of lu ten after his injury ozai steps up. i cannot express how many emotions this fic made me feel. background yuetara. i would almost say found family?? but. anyway. plenty of angst to spare here with a healthy dose of enemies to friends to lovers.

As the newly appointed cultural liaison to Northern Water Tribe, Zuko is the first Fire Nation Citizen to step foot inside the city's walls in nearly a century. He's determined to prove himself—to the Fire Lord and to his father—even if the Water Tribe's spirit-touched prince seems to want nothing to do with him.

That Midnight Sky by @zukkababey

-103k, teen

-now now now. tms... modern college au where sokka agrees to tutor zuko in physics because zuko has to maintain straight a’s and physics is just not doing it for him. so. thats cool but THEN azula moves in, randomly, with zuko. to hide the fact that sokka is tutoring zuko, they fake date! what could go wrong!! the mutual pining in here combined with the angst... wonderful, tasty. everyone read it rn. also SLOWBURN 

In Zuko’s strict family, needing a tutor is just about the worst thing you could do. Failing a class, however, is even worse. The only rational solution? Take up Aang on his offer to find him a physics tutor and have Sokka—beautiful, smart, handsome Sokka—tutor him in secret. // When Azula’s arrival threatens to reveal Zuko’s secret, it’s up to Sokka to convince her this definitely isn’t what it looks like. See, he’s actually… Zuko’s… boyfriend? // Hmm. There’s no way this could get complicated, right?

#zukka #zuko #sokka #angst #zukka angst #atla #avatar: the last airbender #fic recs #zukka fic recs

[kurtanaaa]

hey guys.

so ive been thinking a lot lately about how busy ive been and how little ive been able to be on tumblr and how much of my time it takes when i do bother to look at it. at this point, its become more of a chore to look at my dash than something fun - not because the content isnt fantastic, but because i feel like i have to, even though i have other things i need to be doing. also, my mental state is deteriorating rapidly and i need fewer focus points at the moment.

so after a lot of deliberation, i think im gonna be leaving tumble for. a good while. not forever, but a solid chunk of time. maybe ill figure out how to manage my time at uni better and ill feel stable enough to enjoy it here again. but in the event that i dont come back for a long time, i want u guys to know that you have all brought me so much joy. this account and this fanbase have made me so incredibly happy and given me a place to talk about something that i really enjoyed with people i just think are the greatest. seriously, the amount that i chatter about my "glee mutuals" to my girlfriend is insane. you all mean a lot to me and im so grateful for all of you. i know i havent been interacting a whole lot in the past little while, but i miss it so much and you all really made a stupid idiot bitch rlly happy

i loved running this account and i still love glee, so its entirely possible that ill still post fic or come poking around to check in on you guys. but for now, this platform just feels like a chore and i dont want to associate you guys with that.

pls, if you have like... snapchat or instagram or something and ur a mutual/mutual in law who has chatted with me in the past, and would be comfortable sharing, please please please message me because i value your friendships so much. i really really do. i wish i knew you all in person so we could chatter about things together and so i could give you all such big hugs.

u guys are wonderful people. you all deserve so much, and i hope that while i was here i was able to contribute to the safe space and happiness that you all gave to me.

sorry im being overly dramatic about this u guys just mean a lot to me lol ok ily guys pls keep doing the things that make you happy. love, rae rae 💓💗💕💘💕💓💘💖💗💖💓💘💓

#this was actually a rlly hard decision to make bc i dont WANT TO and i rlly do miss you guys so much #but i feel so horrible that im never on and never interacting and it feels like an obligation and it shouldnt be. it should be fun #i dont want you guys to be an obligation i want to come back when i have time to really enjoy it here again #i love you all very much im serious. i have made so many friends here and i know im gonna be back #rae talks #not glee #important

[anakinthetrashking]

BnHA One-Shot Fic Recs (pt1)

Making some fic-rec posts has been on my to-do list for a while and I’m finally doing it, yay! Currently I have 6 word doc pages full of just BnHA recs. So I’m splitting them up by length and completion, so first up is (part one of) one-shots! Let’s go!!!

Lets start with some classic Izuku and DadMight!

Pictures, Posters and Tender Beauty by ProPinkist (tumblr: @dazais-guardian-angel ) Rating: G    Category: Gen   ~4,400 words Summary: Izuku has virtually every All Might-themed item out there, and prides himself on all of it, as Toshinori is well aware. However, somehow, the boy still decided that there was something vital missing. This is fluffy and very cute. No one truly appreciates All Might as much as Izuku does, but 1A comes close. All Might deserves all the love, and this fic truly provides!!!

Dear Mr. All Might by QuizzicalCrow (tumblr: @quizzicalcrow​ ) Rating: G   Category: Gen   ~5,000 words Summary: As the #1 hero for decades, All Might has collected a lot of fan mail over the years. Toshinori tracks down a series of letters that only now, years later, does he appreciate for their significance.  I always love the thought of All Might looking through his fan mail, even if he can’t get to all of it. This was a wonderful glimpse into that AND it was made to be so, so personal and sweet. Go have some heart-healing fluff.

Growing Pains by LordofLies (tumblr: @theangelofchildren ) Rating: G   Category: Gen    ~5,900 words Summary: Izuku finds himself changed by his encounter with the Hero Killer, but changes of a more physical kind are in store for him as he begins to truly accept One for All as his own. Once, he would have been thrilled to look more like All Might, but now those connections are as much a source of anxiety as they are of pride.Or, Izuku wakes up one morning and sees the world through different eyes. Izuku having anxiety and Toshi being there to help him through it and calm him down? Sign me UP. Its also a pretty cool take on how One for All is able to change things about it’s holder. Could this happen in cannon? Who knows.... Regardless, it was a great read!

I’ll Carry You Home by Renesvetta Rating: G   Category: Gen   ~2,700 words Summary: While training with All Might, it wasn’t uncommon for Izuku to be so exhausted at the end of the day that he unwittingly fell asleep without regard for where he was. It consequently became part of All Might’s routine to help his young protégé home. During that time, Izuku may have let loose more than one sleepy confession towards his mentor.  Yes, it is as adorable as it sounds. Its tagged with “self indulgent Dad Might fluff” which is both accurate and appreciated. In other words: Superb you funky little writer!

Simple Gifts by QuizzicalCrow Rating: G    Category: Gen   ~6,700 words Summary: One year ago, Izuku received the greatest gift he could ever imagine. Now he’s determined to return the favor for the one responsible for it all with a gift of his own.  First off, I love the idea of Izuku and Toshi quietly celebrating the anniversary of passing on OfA from All Might to Izuku. Even just taking the day to hang out with each other. It’s a really precious idea. But there’s not just fluff! Izuku finds himself in a fight, again. (cool villain quirk, too!) I love all of the small details that are in this fic (and in Crow’s other works, too!) anyway its exciting AND very heartwarming, so go read it!!!

Affectionate by Sevi007 (tumblr: @sevi007 ) Rating: G   Category: Gen   ~2,600 words Summary: Toshinori starts to show affection very easily around his students. The  reactions he gets for that are not quite the ones he had anticipated - well, not all of them, at least.  Toshi is LOVED, APPRECIATED, and 1A feels like HOME. how many times can i say “cute” and “heartwarming” on this post?? bc these are some amazing writers, whom I adore, and their writing makes my heart WARM. AND. FUZZY. i mean, even just the first few paragraphs of this one just, really sets the scene of what i like to believe the 1A dorm is (on a good day, lol). its a really nice read, so go treat yo’ self by reading it.

paint me in trust by dinomight Rating: G   Category: Gen   ~6,400 words Summary: The first mark Izuku gets is a slight brush of green across his temple. It’s the soft touch of a mother holding her son for the first time. Inko has one to match, the same shade of green staining the tips of her fingers. Hers is more noticeable; Izuku’s tends to blend into his hairline. He loves it anyways. He has to. It’s the only soulmate mark he has. (Or: how Izuku goes from just green to a rainbow, UA-style.)  Ok, so this fic sort of plays off the idea of soulmates, and does not fit in with soulmates in the usual form of the trope. First off its completely platonic. Its categorized as Gen and sticks to that. Also it doesn’t seem to be as obligatory and permanent as you would think it would be. It seems to be more of the universe telling you who has the possibility of being important in your life. I really really loved this, it was so adorable and gives you that sweet, sweet Izuku angst, before healing your heart with the power of friendship and found family!!!

The Die Has Been Cast by ChiwiTheKiwi (tumblr: @chiwithekiwi​ ) Rating: G   Category: Gen   ~5,400 words Summary: “There’s something about that kid you aren’t telling me, isn’t there?”When no answer meets him, Shouta tries again.“You know something about Midoriya’s quirk that you haven’t shared with me. Is that right?”(Or: A canon "What If" surrounding the latest manga events and focusing on Aizawa finally making a connection.) First off, this fic has spoilers for the manga, so dont read unless you’re past chp212! I loooooooove OfA reveal fics, especially when it’s Aizawa that finds out. He deserves to know!!! its kind of important!!!! This fic chooses a great moment to work off of, and does a great job with Aizawa’s character. I really enjoyed it and couldn’t keep myself from going back and reading it just now LOL

These last two are actually two-shots, but it makes it an even 10! also Izuku and dadmight, so we can continue the theme here...

Some Unspoken Thing by LittleKy Rating: G   Category: Gen   ~7,900 words (2chps) Green, Toshinori has always thought, is the color of life anew.(Or: It's time for Yagi Toshinori to finally accept that he has a son, now, in all but blood. It's time for Midoriya Hisashi to accept that as well.) YES ALL MIGHT! ADMIT THAT IZUKU IS YOUR SON! great portrayal of the characters and really hits the nail on the head for DadMight. and Izuku in this story is just the smallest green floof that you wish to give a hug. NEVER MIND ALL MIGHT, YOU TOOK TOO LONG SO IZUKU IS MY SON NOW AND IM NOT GIVING HIM BACK ( no but seriously i want to hug this fic its so cute TTuTT )

LAST BUT NOT LEAST! I See You by BirdAntlers (tumblr: @aarymk )

Rating: G   Category: Gen   ~15,400 words (2chps) Midoriya Izuku is a quirkless child, blind from birth. Yagi Toshinori is the most powerful man in the world, loved by millions. They could not be more different, and yet their loneliness is the same.   (From a pair of AU posts on Tumblr that got way out of hand; I wanted to put it here because it turned into more of a fic than a "what-if." Basically a vessel for me to vomit as much Dadmight as I can.) Hey, you! Yeah! You! Do you want to cry? Do you want to start sobbing in a public space?? Do you just want to be destroyed with words and be left there kneeling at the feet of a writer who has torn out your heart and stomped on it before they gently wipe the tears from your face? Yeah?? y oU Wan NA D IE??? READ THIS AND GET REKT.  you’ll thank me later

(under the cut is just me rambling, i kept all the important stuff up here, ur welcome)

Now that the actual recs are over I can rant here- look i really tried to slim my recs down, but i have almost 300 bnha fics bookmarked,some of them are “to read” or theyre in progress, etc but i managed to get this list sorta slimmed down? a little?(to only 58!!!) but as i was gathering this post together it felt like i dont have very many Dadmight recs on that list??? but i havent rechecked all the other fics i was just going through the oneshots. i... kinda read a lot more fics with AIzawa in it instead. it be that way. DadMight content is SO GOOD. but my fav is aizawa im sorryyyyy anyway i have another SEVENteeN oneshots to put in rec posts and that does NOT include the mulitchapter and friikin series and stuff... and like i said this is aaaaaaallllllllllllllll BnHA. batfam fic posts will come after, and then star wars, and then maybe star trek? we’ll see. i have a very specific taste in ST fics and that is Tarsus IV whump. which. i have not read in a while. when they say “that trope came from ST” for sooooooo many tropes, you WISH other fandoms had tarsus as a trope, holy crap it is TOP TIER angst fodder. if you love to write/read whump, angst, and h/c i would HIGHLY recommend that you take a bit of time and explore the content and stories there. heck maybe i will make a ficrec post for just tarsus angst. ok.

my INTENTION is to edit these posts later with little links to the other fic rec lists so that itll be easier to find. but., its me, so itll either happen in painful detail or not at all

asdjkdgh its 2:30am and i need to sleep and not be rambling incoherently again I WILL SAVE THIS AS A DRAFT. 

#Ani's Fic Recs #fic recs #fic rec list #bnha fanfic #midoriya izuku #dadmight #all might #yagi toshinori #bnha #mha #mha fanfic #fic rec #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #toshinori yagi #izuku midoriya #deku #ani can talk? #fandom #anime #text post

[ddarker-dreams]

Online Love. Yan Shigaraki x Reader [Part 5]

Shigaraki has never had a full grasp on understanding others.

It’s never presented itself as an issue before, due to his unique lifestyle that doesn’t require him to rely upon others to the same extent most do. He doesn’t need to bend himself to the will of others. If anything, people need to mold themselves to his liking. 

There’s no place for coquettish remarks and hidden agendas for the people around Shigaraki. He wouldn’t care for it, and they’d be cut off without a second thought. 

So where do you fit into that? 

He doesn’t know himself. The black and white relationships that stay in neat, understandable boxes for him are all but wrecked by your presence. Where his underlings bite their tongue and present themselves to his liking, you feel no obligation to do the same.

You live as you please, speaking to him as you please. The rules he’s used to don’t apply to you, you don’t even know they exist in the first place. If anyone acted as you did towards Shigaraki, they’d undoubtedly be killed for it. 

There’s a fondness that’s reserved solely for you. 

Even so, he can’t help but feel aggravated at how you’ve been treating him lately. The past three days have been a miserable stretch, his mood taking a turn for the worst. Not due to anything you’ve said to him, no, but because of the opposite.

You haven’t messaged him in seventy-two hours. 

This has never happened before, in the entire time he has known you. In the past three days you’ve not logged onto any of your games, responded to his messages, or uploaded on social media. He’s aware of the fact that you’re physically fine -- a bit of stalking ensured that nothing had happened to you.

A part of him almost wishes that was the case, so he could make sense of it. It would be undoubtedly easier to digest the situation, and he could get you out of the situation with ease.

But the aspect of the unknown is what troubles him the most. His mind wonders pathetically, grasping at any straws to make sense of why you’ve been living your life normally; just without him. 

Staring at his monitor in the dim light of his room, Shigaraki grimaces at the blinking cursor in front of him. Coarse fingers hover over the keyboard, wanting so desperately to seek you out; but unsure of how to go about it. He wants to demand an explanation. 

Were you really able to live your life peacefully without him? Did Shigaraki delude himself of the symbiotic relationship he once believed you two shared? 

His teeth ache from the hours spent grinding together, neck raw from constant scratching. Sleep has all but evaded him, as he spent hours painfully waiting for you to come back to him. For things to go back into the routine he was used to. 

Your absence serves as a reminder of how much he needs you. 

Narrowing his bloodshot eyes, he abruptly stands from his trash covered desk and stalks over towards the door. How dare you ignore him, how dare you treat him like this! Did he mean nothing to you all along? Have you just been waiting for the chance to cut him off, having been secretly disgusted by him all along?

Fury masks over any secret feelings of hurt, Shigaraki intent on demanding Kurogiri to warp him over to you. He’d get an explanation one way or another. Even if he had to pry it from you. Staying idle any longer would surely be the death of him.

Before he opens the door, he hears the custom alert. The one that he had set for you, so he could always know when you were messaging him. 

Shigaraki’s mind goes blank as he goes back over to his computer. He wonders if it was imagined, only to be disproved by a message from you on his screen.

From: [First] 2:06 AM

hello tomo-kun

That... that’s it? Mouth slightly agape from confusion, Shigaraki’s mind races with countless responses. Ranging from cruel words directed at you for ignoring him for so long, to inquiring about what even caused it in the first place. But none of them are typed out as he delivers an equally mundane response. 

To: [First] 2:06 AM

Hey

Anyone else would’ve been facing the wrath of hell right now, but Shigaraki manages to contain himself. Knowing that you haven’t forgotten about him or discarded him was enough to momentarily distract him from his previous rage. Biting his finger nails that were already short from countless hours of similar activity, he awaits your response. 

From: [First] 2:10 AM 

i’m sorry that i haven’t been around... 

From: [First] 2:11 AM

i’ve been having kinda a bad time lately with some stuff. but if it’s okay with you can we play some comp? i kinda just wanna take my mind off it. if you’re not busy that is 

It isn’t concern that he feels, but an undying curiosity. If something major had happened to you, like a death of a loved one, he would’ve known about it by now. What could’ve happened that upset you this much that he wasn’t alerted about? 

Shigaraki silently ponders to himself. Maybe he needs better scouts. 

To: [First] 2:12 AM 

Whatever you want, idm

An immediate response. 

From: [First] 2:12 AM

thank u, i appreciate it

From: [First] 2:13 AM

aaa i feel so dumb. im sorry im sure i worried you. i just havent been in the mood to talk to anyone. its nothing like crazy or anything im fine, just some life stuff 

Shigaraki’s never been the best at comforting people, as it’s a task that he’s never been given. He can barely take care of himself, much less anyone else. But in situations like this, he feels you’re supposed to offer something. Only for you would he stretch himself in this way.

To: [First] 2:15 AM 

What happened 

It might seem like a lackluster response, but to anyone who knows Shigaraki it would come as a surprise. People’s personal affairs have never interested him in the slightest, but you’re a unique case. 

From: [First] 2:16 AM

wellllll its kinda stupid but ig it doesnt hurt to tell you lmao 

From: [First] 2:17 AM

ive... ive had a crush on this guy for a long time. we’ve known one another for a few years, stuff like that. anyways i worked up the courage to ask him out and he got upset at me. saying stuff like im ruining our friendship. it was just really bad, and ever since then ive been on auto pilot 

The word crush hits him like a ton of bricks. He’s incapable of focusing on anything else in that moment, as time all but comes to a stop. His breathing uneven, and hands shaky; he sits back from the light of his screen. Disgust isn’t the right word for it, it doesn’t begin to describe the barrage of emotions he’s experiencing. 

You liked someone. You liked someone that isn’t him. 

Even if he actually wanted to, he couldn’t fake a decent response to your message. All along he’s been under the impression that you may return his feelings. That all the little gestures meant you treasure him on the same level he does you, and that you would one day be his. 

Hours spent daydreaming of you sweetly confessing to him come to mind, as his vision goes red. 

It doesn’t matter how. He’s going to find out who this cesspool of human waste is, he’s going to savor tearing each limb from their body and take pleasure in his screams of agony. Shigaraki will take care of this individual personally, wanting them to suffer in the same way he has. 

There isn’t any way you could like someone else. This all has to be a joke, a cruel prank with an eventual punchline. There’s no other way to make sense of it. No one else could be even remotely deserving of your affections other than him, and no one will ever have them if he could do anything about it.

He will figure out what to do with you and your betrayal later. For now, only this apple of your eye has his attention. Countless cruel ideas flood his thoughts like a tidal wave, a malicious grin breaking out onto his face. 

Shigaraki will make them pay.

#shigaraki tomura #tomura shiragaki #tomura shigaraki #shigaraki tomura imagine #tomura x reader #yandere #yandere x reader #yandere imagine #bnha #bnha imagines #bnha imagine #bnha x reader #yandere bnha #my hero academia #my hero academia imagine #yandere my hero academia #my stuff

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

im mostly just seeking advice and to spill all my thoughts somewhere if thats okay.

okay so, ive had this friend for a while (2 years) and our friendship has been a bit rocky i guess. they're very rude but excuse it with "oh no its okay im just joking its a lighthearted rude" but it still ends up hurting my feelings and they know this. most of our issues come from them saying something really rude and me getting upset about it and then the friend going "its just a joke" (semi relevant- im autistic, they know this, they know i actively struggle with tone and conveying words). anytime i try to bring up a problem, they get defensive and it kinda goes "hey, you did this and it upset me and id like you to apologize" and they respond "ok yeah but you literally didnt tell me you were upset before so its not my fault" (even tho its pretty clear i was uncomfortable) and just blaming me and ugh. im very tired of it because this has happened enough times to where i can basically guess correctly on all the excuses and blaming they put in anytime i bring up anything. other friends of mine have told me that i should just drop them as a friend, but i still care about them. this really irritates me but theyre also a close friend. im mostly struggling with the thought of "is this something worth trying to fix ? or should i just step away for a while" theyve been aware of their problems mostly since like the day i met them and its just frustrating they havent changed but i dont think theyre an awful person. sorry for rambling, i just needed to get all of this out lol i hope this made sense. i hope anyone who sees this has a good day :) -fawn

Hi Fawn,

I'm sorry to hear your friend isn't treating you well!! You deserve to surround yourself with people who lift you up and treat you well.

I understand the hesitancy of cutting off a close friend. But most people you meet aren't meant to be in your life forever. I'm a firm believer everyone you meet is there to teach you something. In this case, I think this friend is teaching you that you don't like to be treated in a "I'm being mean but it's a joooooke" kind of way. And that's fine!! I also hate when people act like that!!

I'm glad to see you're able to speak up for yourself, that's a wonderful skill to have. Unfortunately, your friend does not wish to change to ensure you're feeling safe and comfortable.

When you tell them something upsets you, and they counter with "well you didn't tell me", you can just say "I'm telling you now. Please stop, I don't appreciate the way you talk about me and I'm telling you to stop it." If they don't listen, please please PLEASE reconsider them as a friend!!! 2 years is not that long to be friends, you've spent time and energy trying to be their friend when all they do is act badly and not listen to you.

If you don't want it to be dramatic, just slowly cut them off. Stop answering their messages quickly (or at all), leave them on read, don't make plans, don't engage with them basically. If they ask why, just tell them you're busy. Or you can say it's because of their continued actions towards you.

Whatever you decide, please remember you don't deserve to be spoken to rudely or condescendingly.

Hopefully this helps!!

Mod Soul

#trauma talks #mod soul #fawn

[otterplusharchive]

its time for another one of my half awake rambles about love and the universe so sorry if any of this is worded weird or doesnt make sense but anyway something that ive struggled with a huge amount in the past has been feeling like people i love dont love me as much as i love them or that people always like other people around them more than they like me but honestly working thru that has made me realize that like.... for one.. no one is going around ranking their friends or ranking the people in their life literally the only person ive ever known who ever told me that she was ranking her friends was a horrible person who traumatized me like.. im not waking up in the morning and thinking "oh i like this person more than i like this person" like thats just not.. idk thats just not how i think most people go about human connections..

this morning i was honestly thinking about how i missed a friend who i havent been able to talk to for like all of this year and thinking about how he is and hoping that hes doing well and laughing to myself about things we used to joke about.

and what im getting at with that is like i havent talked to this friend for most of this year but he still has a special place in my heart and i still love him and care about him. there is no leader board ranking in my heart of whos number one and whos on the bottom, and whenever ive been feeling unloved or unwanted ive been trying to remind myself of that.

like jusy because im not talking to someone every second of every day doesnt mean i dont care about them or vice versa theres sooo many countless times where ill see something or do something and ill think of someone i know fondly because it reminds me of them and i might not message them to tell them that i thought of them with it (because im still working thru feeling annoying jdsj) but that love is still real and still there and its not a competition!!! its not a competition!

and yknow what even if someone did care about someone else more or did love someone else more those are their feelings and theyre allowed to feel them and i cant control that (& shouldnt want to control anyones feelings) and im not entitled to their feelings and it would be ok if someone liked someone else more than me because that doesnt negate or erase our friendship and doesnt negate or erase how we like each other because its different relationships between different people so of course the dynamic and feelings are going to be different!

anyway! your friends and loved ones are not ranking you love is not a competition and the people in your life do in fact care about you even when its hard to remember that but also if the people in ur life arent treating u well and are actively being hurtful to u then pls remember that u deserve better than that and you deserve to feel loved and appreciated. anyway if u read all of this ily go get some water

#long post #i think maybe im on mobile so just in case

[qyu-inactive]

MY THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS ABOUT OUTTAKES 16-18.5 BECAUSE I HAVE SO MANY

We have been blessed with 3.5 glorious new parts to the wonderful Losty Aone/ Mountain Man Series by the wonderful, amazing, awe-inspiring @shhhlikeme and i am emotional and have many many feelings about it all.

Outtake 16 

I love that we got to see this from the reeader’s point of view, it was nice to see our losty y/n and see how their feeling. It was a nice break from feeling sad about Aone’s broken heart.

This part made me laugh ahaha

After dating and breaking up with him, Aone had females constantly approaching him. A/N: Not constantly but it felt that way for you ofc lol

the jealously😂, the Author’s note too like “it wasnt like that at all” 😂 this emotional person (y/n) is just  blowing up the situation. 

and then this:

In other words: They want what you had. 

i mean of course they would, Aone is the sweetest boy but only to someone he loves. Aone’s heart is too strong to let waver to someone knew so quick

This whole outtake all i could think about was that Y/n really needs to get back with her mountain man, first they want to break up so Aone finds someone new but then doesnt want him to find someone new. Like cleary y/n is not being honest with herself or Aone. 

When they went to the library, ahhh y/n really just imagining the worst scnenarios in their head😂

“Oh,” your stomach flipped. “He looks so cute.” You put on a 🥺 face when you noticed how utterly adorable a standing Takanobu looked

🥺🥺🥺 Aone is always such a cutie, and y/n really broke this man’s heart😭 I know it was insecurites but still. These two are so in love but just wont get back together. 

The outfit y/n is wearing😍 you always pick these really cute and sexy outfits and I appreciate y/ns confidence and style but it is not me 😂😂 but Aone thirsting over his girl tho, i would dress up like that if it meant getting looked by Aone like that 😂

I love Aone’s plan, like he is such a sweetheart and he’s making me all soft at all his effort to win his girl back🥺🥺

This outtake really gave up all the feels y/n is feeling with breaking up with Aone and I am enjoing it 😂. At the same time though I just want these to love birds to get back together ahhhhh. 

One of the things I really love about this story is how strong the friendship is and how we see the outside characters really show how much they care. A lot of stories (like shojou, oh man you dont know how much shoujo manga ive read haha) just sideline their friends after the start talking to their love interest or they dont even have friends at all in the whole story. I really enjoyed seeing Katana be a voice of reason in our losty’s life. And of course the K_nji’s being our boy Aone’s best friends. 

Outtake 17

okay we starting with the real friends the K_nji’s warning our boy Aone about the situation. I love them and how much they care 😂. They can be dumbasses but still, I appreciate their effort. 

The University—our University— sent her a uniform that’s a size or two too small.

Does this mean they’re going to the same university? or am I reading too much into it? It might have been mentioned before but I cant remember off the top of my head. Also Aone really living his best life and his worst life rn 😂😂  like he gets to see his girl in a super tight cheer leading uniform and spend one on one time with her but he cant do anything about his desires. His confidence tho haha  “I’ve seen Y/N in a cheerleading uniform before” not like this you havent😏 

Aone Takanobu can truly say—if he could speak—that he will never even question Futakuchi again.

Again I just really love their friendship, parts like this really get me 😂😂😂

When y/n took out Aone’s jacket automatically🥺🥺 my hearttttt, and how long Aone’s jacket is on them🥺🥺 this whole part made me so softtt. Like imagine wearing his jacket🥺🥺 it would be so comfy and warm. 

There are so many golden lines I loved from this part, but Aone’s spank bank is just a phrase I wasnt expectng to read but it is gold. Im sure his bank is full and loaded😂

Then some random gross guy comes up to y/n, like the audacity of this guy.

He had such a disgusting grin on his face

🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮 this guy can back offfff. 

I really love when Aone comes in to protect the reader🥺🥺 he’s not the iron wall for nothing too. 

Your knight has arrived. Your ex-knight. ☹️

and then you go and hurt me again😭😭

I really wanted Aone to just kick a dude in the chest, like step the fuck off 😂😂. 

“Take one more step toward her.” Aone growled in the smoothest voice.

“I dare you.” Aone added, for good measure.

Im absolutely swooning, Aoneeeeee🥺🥺🥺. And the fact that he wanted the reader to come with him so she wouldnt get anyone bothering her😭😭 he’s such a gentlemen. No one bothers Aone’s girl whose not his girl at the moment, especially guys who arent wanted

now onto the fun part of this outtake😏 I wasn’t expecting to see texts but it was definitely a nice addtion!! Our poor Aone soo horny and sweet, I dont know if the dead squirrels worked hahaha. 

but he couldn’t help but wonder how he was going to edit all of this together in the time frame he promised he would with only one hand.

this went over my head when i read it the first time omg😂😂😂 Im sure Aone can do it, he’s a very capable man. This whole section had me laughing but also feeling slightly bad for Aone, again his poor horny heart right now is conflicted but very much fed. Im glad he was able to get a break, I dont think his length could wait (im not used to using subtle language hahaha) anyway this whole part was fun to read. 

Aone bit his juicy bottom lip,

I legit bit my lip just before reading this part😂

Outtake 18 & 18.5

Now we’re hitting the climax!! (after Aone just hit his climax and is about to hit again😗)

—who imo really should return to their own homes now but would rather not—

I mean do these two even have their own homes anymore😂, theyre basically apart of the Aone family now. Family who also understand when to leave their horny pal alone for time being. 

OKAY ONTO THE IMPORTANT PART!!! AHHHHHHHH. 

“Aone-senpai, do you even have snapchat?!”

“Obviously not.” Kenji answered for his friend, being snappy.

“WELL HE SHOULD GET IT BECAUSE I SAW—“

Did Kanji see Y/N and Takeru?????? I also cant believe I learnt Takeru was a third year from this series, I always thought he was a second year for some reason. I think cos he was ennoshita’s rival. not important rn lmao

“—because Aone-senpai is jacking off again. It makes you feel lighter, and happier—so that’s why,”

this boy, there are some things you just shouldnt say out loud. Some things can be left unsaid (not like im blunt with my friends sometimes haha but still) 

When Kenji had found out about why y/n dumped Aone😭😭😭😭 I’m glad he found out earlier then Aone, I wouldnt have wanted him to yell at the reader again.

Anyone that can do that, be so selfless—is good enough for his best friend.

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

“I can tell its her because that’s your sweater she’s wearing. Right? It says Takanobu on the back, and I remember seeing Y/N steal it out of your bag after practice once.”

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺these parts really just made me soft. like the fact that y/n still had the jacket and wanted to wear it out. and the absolute coincedence that they were in the same cinema as Aone. 

“Y/N.—Sh-She-She is wearing my attire. What does that mean?”

Yeah, big guy.

Yeah, you have a chance.

Y/N still has a little….tiny bit of feelings for you

YES YES YES FINALLY , I wanted to cry here😭😭 AND THEN KENJI CONFIRMED IT ALL AND AONE THE MAN WENT AND TRIED TO GET HIS GIRL. THIS REALLY IS THE DRAMATIC PART IN THE MOVIE. AND THEN THIS [redacted] TAKERU CAME AND AHHHHH 

(Aone would know that face, he only saw it everyday he’s looked in the mirror for the past 3 years)

Absolutely dead. All hope—gone.

You make me happy and then just rip out my heart like 2 minutes later. I was going from crying happy tears to sad tears in like a heartbeat. 

ALSO YOU DONT KNOW HOW UPSET I WAS WHEN I GOT TO THE END OF PART 18 I DIDNT REALISE THERE WAS 18.5 AND WAS AFRAID THAT THIS WAS IT AHHHHHH. I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO PLAY WITH MY FEELINGS THEN JUST LEAVE. 

“I’m worried about you.” She finished, looking more serious than you’ve ever seen her.

y/n really has some good friends with her🥺

uhhh then Takeru comes in, I dont really hate him but no one stands in between our losties love, they deserve each other and no one can stand between them. 

“But, tonight, if you need a shoulder to cry on, I’m just one theatre over… Okay? I have a pretty comfortable shoulder, so just text me.”

Okay this was pretty nice of Takeru, like cheesy but at least he cares and isnt staring at y/n like a peace of meat he wants to devour...

You sent it. Received a response within seconds saying he was on his way.

This boy, hes got a good heart but this isn’t your story bud, im sorry.

There! Kenji-san and Koganagewa-san, two males who were looking at you and Takeru as if you two were the villains in the movie that just popped out of the screen.

if this doesnt go well these two seem like they’re going to fight y/n outside the cinema😭😂 I couldnt imagine getting death stares from the K_njis especially after hurting Aone basically twice now.

Finding HIM was all that mattered.

OKAY THIS WHOLE PART, LIKE YES GO GET YOUR MAN PLEASE. LIKE Y/N CANT JUST LEAVE THIS RIGHT HERE LIKE THIS. 

white hair visible only because his head was down, forehead kissing the steering wheel, his shoulders vibrating slightly because he is crying. It’s him.

I cant take anymore sad Aone😭😭 He needs the biggest hug and his girl to be his girl again. He has gone through so much.

“Kenji-san, please leave me—““Not Justin Bieber look-alike!”

I cant with the Justin Bieber look-alike. 😂😂

Im just going to talk about my feelings for this part, but the whole confesson. I felt like crying, i feel like crying now reading it😭 it was just so beautiful. Like y/n explaing everything and saying Aone is the only man she’ll ever love. Throughout the series we really go to understand Aone’s feelings so deeply and how passionate he is but we didnt really get to see how y/n felt as much so reading this made me happy for Aone for the fact that his girl loves him as much as he loves her. They really were lost for each other, lost with out each other, but together they were 

Found.

okay maybe im tearing up now😭😭

One more marathon to go and our happy couple can live happily. The fact that this story is nearly over is a little sad but I’m happy our losties found each other. Im thinking since the next parts will be the last I’ll talk about overall themes I liked and my favourite moments as well. 

#shhhlikeme #Losty Aone #Losty mountain man series #this took longer then i expected but i can finally post it!!!!

[dans-queer-ass]

im leaving tumblr (for good)

hi everyone

its been a while huh? sorry that i havent been active much... ive been doing a lot of thinking and have come to a decision.

its time for me to leave my blog

i started my blog 2 years ago and was so in love with this community and the phandom. i made amazing friends and gained so many supporters. i got the love and help that i needed when i was in a dark time in my life. ive been through so much with this blog, so much happiness, controversy, friendships, heartbreaks, joy, and love. so seriously, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

but, despite everything, its time for me to go. im almost completely stable mentally and no longer need this distraction or the love and support. i have people irl that are supporting me now and i need to be able to be there for them too.

some thank yous:

number one: thank you to those who have stuck by me, especially those that were here when i was @/heterophibic-daniel lmao.

number two: my mutuals. you are all so amazing. im so happy that i was able to see some of you grow and give you support. and im super thankful for all the support and love that you all have given me. yall have been a light in my life that i will never forget and never not be thankful for

number three: my lovely followers. thank you for believing in me. thank you for supporting me. that you for liking my shitposts and supporting my edits and gifs. thank you for making my hobby something real that other people could see and enjoy. thank you for all the love over the last 2 years

number four: the phandom as a whole. the phandom has such a welcoming feeling to it, i dont know what i would have done if i didnt have it. i was able to explore things with this fandom and gain friends and i couldnt be happier for that

number five: thank you for giving me a safe space. here, i was able to explore who i was and what i wanted. i had a creative outlet where i could make edits and gifs and just fuck around. i was able to vent and recieve support and love and advice. i was able to come to my blog and smile. thank you for that

before i go, ive gotta give a shoutout to some amazing people. these people have supported me for a while and that i seriously look up to. they have amazing content and deserve so much love and support so please follow them:

@phanniephobic @mlmhowell @danslawdegree @dansleftthigh @dans-cringe-card @unorthodoxsavvy @dnpsuck @cakephil @catsanddnp @amazignphil @enchantingwlw @neondnp @scifiphan @uppercase-disgrace @youabsolutespoon @char-arts-occasionally @yourethebestthingiveseen and so many more people that i follow

my blog will stay public so please continue to roam around it and check out the people that i follow.

i will be active for a few days to check my messages and wrap everything up.

if you want to keep up with me, i will have all of my social medias in my bio as well as at the end of this post.

thank you all, i love you so fucking much. you all mean the world to me and im sorry that i have to go but its for the best. please dont worry about me bc im doing great. i have an amazing girlfriend, wonderful friends, good medications, healthy support, and all the good jazz lol.

peace out everybody ✌️

•ways to keep in touch with me (please feel free to message me on any of these!! i would love it so much to talk to yall):

—instagram: @/oliviagrace_makeup (mutuals, if you would like my personal instagram to keep in touch, please message me and let me know and ill send it your way!!)

—twitter: @/blargyshnoop

—snapchat: @/absolute-spork

—discord: oli grace #8566 (i dont currently have a surver but may in the future)

#please reblog to spread the word :) #i love all of you so much #thanks for the support #peace out guys ✌️ #og ig #olivia talks a lot #important #dnp #dans-queer-ass

[lilacprincessofrecovery]

Friends in Dark Places

Dean x friend

Dean and Sam had finished their latest hunt which meant either going to a bar to get wasted and laid not always in the same order OR hiding in the bunker watching tv drinking beer from the local corner side convenient gas station or the local drug store when they need to get to extra band aids and alcohol when Sam was feeling like it would be safer than just running any  dirty ol’ germy beer from God knows where, all over their wounds and Dean needed a razor and/or snacks or some things like that and both would head back to the bunker. This time Dean went on his own to the gas station this time. He was out of pies and snacks. Dean needed his pie.

During this particular hunt there wasnt any stitches involved so no rubbing alcohol needed. He was thinking as he walked around of what to do about the vampire that Sam and he had forgotten to kill out of the coven they just uncovered. Three lives were lost in crossfire. He hated himself for it. 

This man named Dean Michael Winchester (shocking middle name) had never really done much but save the world or his family and innocents. He felt guilt over everyone he lost though. He would drink and try to forget. He was Always chasing a new monster or an easy monster that he had known by then. He never had time enough for himself. He had beautiful glossy hazel eyes, blonde hair, small amount of freckles on his face and had the body of a model nicely aged like a fine wine or cheese! You didn’t really care for wine OR cheese but you didn’t care for either. You just found this man attractive easily in his mid to late. thirties. along the you were watching him too long and dedicated brother and to those few he considered friends, he was loyal but would kill for. Both men had been through and TO Hell and back, been possessed by demons and angels and Lucifer himself and met the grand writer of all the scenes in the world, God. 

You realized you’d been staring too long when he glanced over your way. You pretended to look for a nonexistent earring. Then he went to check out at the register. You got up and acted like nothing was wrong and hurriedly grabbed your things and shuffled out of the store to your car. You saw the man get in a black 67 impala. An old car but it was running good. It was also aged nicely. Like a fine wine too. You tripped over a bike as you were about to enter your car and you looked up and to your embarrassment there was a hand that offered you help with your own goodies from the gas station that had previously been putting stuff in the vintage car. You looked up at the man. “I am Dean. What’s your name? I saw you watching me. You know in the store… and before… the bike that just tripped you….” “I wasn’t looking at you.” She smiled soft and blushes. He shook his head and grinned. “Alright, do i have a sign on my back again? Cuz i swear my brother is gonna get it!” He tried to wipe off the back of his jacket and you smile and say “No… No… just don’t see many people like you around here.” Dean arched a brow crossing his arms, “I’ve been here for years.” You took your bag he held and shook his hand. “I’m y/n…” He looked at your piercing (e/c) eyes and smiles a charismatic Dean Winchester smile, with the charm and all.

 “You made me forget why i even came here in the first place,” Dean lies. He didn’t want to remember the faces of those lives lost. He liked looking at you.  You made him feel safe. Instant friendship, even though you both met just now. 

~3 weeks later~

Dean and you spent a lot of time together. He was afraid to tell you about his hunting lifestyle. Everyone he told got hurt. Especially women. You kept pressing him to go to his house and asking ‘Why haven’t you taken me to your place?’ Eventually Dean tells you, “I think being at your place makes things less complicated.” You started thinking of all the things he would be hiding from you. He was your best friend. Why would he hide anything from you? You stopped contacting him and thats when he had Sam come with him to go check on you. He was afraid someone had kidnapped you, someone had found out about his new friend. You are a great person and the best friend he had ever had.

You started crying in your hallway floor. You felt worthless. You wonder what YOU had done wrong. You wished you could make a friendship without it going horribly or scaring him away. Someone who cared. You thought that was Dean, apparently not.  

Sam knocked on the door and then dean put his hands in his pockets. He was going to tell you about his secret about hunting. He knew it was time. He knew you deserved no secrets. 

You got up and answered the door and slowly turned to sit on the couch. “Dean.” Sam smiled and introduced himself to you. “Im dean's younger brother. Nice to meet you.” You tilted your head and looked at dean. “I thought you didn't want me to see anything about your life.” Dean shook his head. “I was wrong.” He sat on the couch as you wiped your eyes. “It was all a bunch of crap. You are a good friend. I haven't made many in the past decade.” He laughed to himself. “I like hanging out with you.” “You dont think im too young or childish or stupid or…” Dean shook his head. “Nope. Not one bit.” You nodded your head looking at your hands thinking. 

“y/n you didn’t do anything. You got it? It’s me who had been keeping secrets of who i am. You were out and open with me from the beginning…” She tilted her head. “What are….” “Shhhh…. Ok. My brother and I are hunters.” “Its ok just dont invite ME.” Sam ran a hand through his hair. “No…. i dont think you get it… we hunt demons and angels and ghosts, wendigos. You name it. We’ve fought it. Hey you have made my brother happy. Thanks.” 

Dean kneeled next to you and took your hands and looked up to your eyes from the floor you on the couch. “Is it real dean? You dont have to lie to me.” Dean nods. “Its real sweetheart. Ever since we were born. And we live in a bunker thats why you havent been able to come over. Thats why i dont want you to be worried or wanna come over. I think we just need to go over there right now and know that you are awesome!” Dean winked. He quickly hugged you. “We both worried each other bat shit crazy. But thats what friends do. Make each other wanna jump off some cliffs together. We’ve both had our demons.”

You had always told him everything about your past and you loved spending time with him. Now you knew about his as more weeks go on you both learned more and more about each other. Best friend award.

for my sister.

[drabblesanddreams]

Moon- Dazai Osamu (1/3)

Hey yall! Im back for another imagine. Im on vacation again so i havent had time to write lmfao. But im always a slut for dazai content and since his bday is in a few days i was like why not, yall know he my fav boy:)) I was also thinking of maybe making a series off this imagine mafia!dazai x reader but im not sure if im ready for a series just yet! 

Part 2      Part 3

tw: none

summary: You reflect on your time with mafia!dazai 

Word count: 973 

You still remembered it. The day Dazai Osamu had left the Port Mafia.

Of course, why wouldn’t you remember? You had such repressed feelings for the man for several years, ever since you both met at the tender age of 14 and 12 respectively. What was originally a childish crush towards the ex-mafia member grew over the years into something that was deeper.

It scared you so much that you always dismissed the thought of your feelings towards the brunette. Besides, Dazai Osamu is so much more complex then you would make him out to be, so much that concepts such as love were lost upon him. Anyone who thought he was that ordinary or that simple was a fool. 

Dazai was simply above those all around him; his high level of intelligence ensured that. You had never met anyone that smart before, or whose mind worked almost cruelly against those around him. 

To you, that intelligence was both a curse as well as a blessing. A curse because he could easily predict the actions of those around him as if they were his pawns under his manipulation. That only widened the gap between you two as you always felt naked beneath his watchful eye. 

It had almost been the downfall of your friendship with him years ago when you were the centerpiece of his little game. But it was also a blessing in the way it managed to astound you. Being able to observe his mind at work always astounded you and left you awed as if you were a child.

You were witness to his sadistic and cruel nature that shone through his carefully crafted mask more often than not.

 A darkness that wasn’t so comprehensible that it terrified you from time to time. A man that became an executive at 16, a man who would pull the trigger without a second of hesitation, whose mind operated solely on logistics, it seemed as if he was more machine than man.

But just like any other human, he wasn’t a man of complete darkness. You had seen his soft side, the genuine rare version of him that was saved selectively for the few people he held close to his heart. 

The silly comments that he made toward Odasaku was a fine example of it. One had to listen closely to the underlying tones of his mindless chatter to be able to pick out the genuine concern or affection laced throughout his words. 

So, when Oda died, it had become the final straw for Dazai. A man who so deeply detested the Port Mafia was finally leaving the Port Mafia.

You understood It, you really did, perhaps it was healthier for him to be away from constant destruction and death. He deserved it after all, but that didn’t make his wordless departure ache any less.

The night he departed was the same night he came to you, back then you hadn’t understood his unusual behavior at all. Normally it was him that did all the talking, but this time it was you who filled up the conversation with mindless chatter, unaware of Odasaku’s death. 

You had caught a bad cold that prevented you from working at your best, so you had stayed inside all day, the first sign of company finally within arms reach.

 All the while he had been staring at you with a gaze that was unreadable as his antics. If you wanted to decipher Dazai, you’d spend your whole life trying.

When morning arrived, he had disappeared as he usually did when he stayed at your place.  You later left the comfort of your apartment that day and quickly realized something was off around the Mafia headquarters. 

Chuuya had approached you wordlessly and when he told you what occurred the night before you blanched considerably. Spacing out, all you could think of was that Chuuya was lying. The feeling of nausea washed over you, as well as an unfamiliar sense of pain. 

Your friend was dead and the person you loved was gone. 

What occurred only confirmed your feelings for the brunette which only amplified the hurt you were feeling.

A moment after, Chuuya had said something else to you nonchalantly, his words falling on deaf ears. You could only stare wordlessly at him, he seemed so unbothered which just made you angry. 

Perhaps Chuuya’s reaction was the right way to go, you knew he was affected by what occurred as well though was too proud to let anyone know. A lack of reaction was what was appropriate to survive in the Port-Mafia, but you were one to feel everything too deeply.

You knew you were never made fit for the mafia; you were always too emotional which hindered your ability to perform sometimes. 

Killing people was also against your very nature, each of the few souls you had taken always left you in an intense distraught state. 

For a person so drenched in the light, it was a wonder how you fell for someone encased in the darkness.

Regardless of that day, you went four additional years without seeing him. Time had certainly dulled the pain.

You had changed as well; your kind nature couldn’t survive the port mafia any longer and your apathy grew with time. But what you hadn’t expected was that he changed as well.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You were staring wordlessly, open-mouthed and most likely a fool while at it. He had certainly grown taller; the curly tendrils of hair still fell over his forehead. The black coat he had always adorned was replaced by a familiar looking brown trench coat. Your heart fluttered for a moment before the mixture of negative emotions replaced it. If he was shocked as well, he didn’t show it. Instead, he dipped his head slightly, smirking,

“Hello, (Y/n)”

#bsd #bsd imagines #bsd imagine #bsd x reader #bungou stray dogs #bungou stray dogs x reader #bungou stray dogs imagine #Dazai Osamu #dazai x reader #dazai osamu x reader #dazai osamu imagine

[bma-2020]

Okiedok here’s the delio. I have a list of all the blogs from the last six months who’s actively either responded to a meme i sent, responded to a message ive sent, replied to something regarding mally herself, has actually written with me, written a starter for me from my liking a starter call, has at least liked a starter i wrote for them to awknowedge it exists, all that jazz, i have a lot of open field so it’s not just a possible tumblr didnt let them no option anymore, because i send memes to everyone who posts them that i see. I reply to most peoples ooc posts. I like most starter calls I pass by. I try my darndest to actually interact bc i know how it feels to be ignored and its… i’ve been called one before so i’m using the word, thats fluffing cunty behavior, and honestly if you complain about not being interacted with but never even try when i try with you, ya being cunty, end of. I gotta list. That list only entails Mally because she’s who I care about the most. I’m probably gonna start instilling a new rule in all my blogs that if you ignore Mally and/or Darcy( @tasedandconfused ), since I would say they’re my two main blogs tho darcy gets ignored even more than mally does, probably bc i denied canon and left it entirely we know fandom hates that, if either of them is ignored then… Ya out of luck, I’m gonna unfollow you. I’m debating soft blocking everyone who ignored me on both of them but I don’t want to like be mean and deny the chance to eventually try again but at the same time i shouldnt feel bad for taking a stand and saying this is bullsheet, idk my anxiety says im awful for giving a fluff about myself but also i should give a fluff about myself probably, ive nearly died in the last three months, my brain almost exploded, i just had three root canals on one corner of my face, i have to potentially get surgery on my inner ear which i cant even afford, i dont got time to deal with only being used for like smut memes or like as a resource blog or utter bs like that, i dont got time for it. So new rules here. 1: If Mally or Darcy are not acknowledged, written with, responded to, viewed as more than just their fluffing bodies? ya dropped, im unfollowing, potentially soft blocking, which means blocking and unblocking for those not in the know, on all accounts I follow you on. Every single one. I know most of my muses are on sideblogs but despite not being able to send memes from sideblogs you can block people from sideblogs fun fact, i will do that if i have to. 2: I’m gonna be posting SCs, PCs, memes, etc. I like and respond to plotting calls, starter calls, i send memes, all of that. If I don’t get any response within.. I’m giving one week for people who don’t run on a queue and a month and a half to people on a queue based system, if i dont get anything within that time like at least an im being like ‘its posted’ or ‘its queued i wanted to let you know in case tumblrs a fluffbutt’ (i do this sometimes if i dont get even just a like on the starters i post so i at least know people saw it since i know tumblrs bs, i wait until the day they’re active to do so in case theyre busy yknow) basically i need acknowledgment at all. No you can’t claim this is abt follower count bc when you unfollow someone they inevitably unfollow you too, thats gonna drop my following, not as quickly as soft blocking would but i wanna be fair i guess, which leads to: 3: I’m basing this on your activity too, like if i like a think and you’re gone for a month after that its fine, im not gonna unfollow you unless you never come back or youre online and posting others just not mine because that tells me youre specifically ignoring me and im gonna drop you for that end of. I’m done with the bullsheet im done w the dillish behavior, i love friendship but if im giving and never receiving thats extremely one way and not gonna work. I check through my follow list weekly and i go back about five-10 pages on someones feed before i unfollow them to see their actual activity and see if theyre here or if its a q so. I’m thorough basically. 4: You dont have to be active with me on all your blogs, i mean i’d prefer it but thats hard as fluff so essentially if you have like five blogs and are just like trying w me on two or three thats fine. Ten blogs, four or five with at least a plot formed is cool. Multis just one muse is all I’d need. I’m not gonna unfollow the blogs youre not writing w me on if you at least write w me on some. Again, specifically Mally and/or Darcy. If you ignore both of them, we’re done. I havent been active on darcy because of being ignored and its a huge butt mess and im just tired i wanna use my babies, you don’t get to have my ‘better’ muses like i know a lot of ppl only follow me for my boys or my villains, you don’t get them if you ignore my baby. But, there is a limit there too. 5: If you never respond to a meme or thread even once with Mally or Darcy, or post a starter, i reply, its never replied to again after a month, I’m unfollowing and/or soft blocking for that too. Bc that means youre just raising my hopes to fluff with me or get someone else and honestly, youre even more cunty than than the people just flat out ignoring me if you do that. And this isnt a specific person, this is five of the people actually on my list. Yes, my list is also annotated with specifics again I was very thorough on this yesterday, I hyperfixated I’ll admit it, I’m in a fluffing depressionary bubble and being told to get over it because people want something they dont deserve to have to. I am a believer that people deserve good things but if youre purposefully being cunty… no you dont. 6: No I’m not releasing my list, maybe I will and I’ll omit the urls because I don’t want people being buttholes to each other too but otherwise, yall not seeing it im not giving a callout because… really thats just unnecessary here. I don’t think yall are toxic people or something i just think yall are unintentionally being cunty. And no I don’t mean everyone that follows me i mean the ppl that add up to what i’ve documented so far and fit the bill of butthat that i’ve shown, its behaviors yall gotta check before ya wreck. Yes there will be some people who have priority, everyone has those people, I write w kathryn on other platforms since she doesnt go on here as often but when Kathryn returns from war here (if she does cause she also agrees most ppl on this platform are cunty, i feel really bad saying that word so often but im gonna keep doing it i recently deleted an ask saying I was a huge cunt for not sending someone smut memes when I didn’t even follow them or know they existed so, again the travesty of this place is nutballers) same with owly, alex is here too, my most active partners are always going to be priority because theyre the ones who show the most interest and the most care. I understand that with others as well which is why I have the timeframe set up, because I want to be as open and shizz as possible while atill being firm i guess. I don’t want to have extreme double standards like its impossible for double standards not to exist at least a little bit but I want to avoid a golden chest full of them I guess. 7: I don’t have a seven rn, this was an even number and it bothered me. Seven is nust my warning that I’m bittery writing this on mobile so formatting is not real but i tried my dandest to make this look like something people might actually mind. I dont want to be butty, i dont want to be awful, i dont want to start drama or have drama but that shizz comes around anyways so i might as well make my space as okay for me as i can cause im supposed to avoid stress so my brain doesnt almost explode again, like again i almost fluffing died i dont need ppl fake being my friend or anything, i want stuff to be real and clear. I want to be happy to be on here again and have fun like i used to since my health is plummetting and I’m not allowed to go outside near plants by myself anymore because i welt up. I have plants outside my work place and im surrounded by chemicals all day long I’m welted from here to new york constantly and never comfortable in my own skin because of it and constantly see people online acting like these actual real problems are pretentious because ‘its an excuse’ when, im a fluffing sagittarius, do you know how much i want to magically be a millionaire so i can pay for friends and my own medical stuff and go on traveling and adventures, be outside probably not camping bc as a pagan i know thats a death sentence but like be outside, lay on grass, go back to swimming because i used to swim competitively and due to health reasons i can barely even go in a pool anymore because theres too much sunlight which, bit plot twist i know, im fluffing allergic to vitamin D and the rays of the sun, so go figure, attempts to be healthy kill me more, i also cant eat most plants and am constantly dying from just eating food, they dont know whats wrong with me. i cant fix it by going ve/gan for a month inf act i tried and it almost made my heart stop thanks society. These arent excuses these are the lives of disabled and diseased and to a lesser but still very real point, ethnic lives every fluffing day. This is real shit and its murder and online and gaming? It may be all I have soon since I can’t just go out and make new friends cause, again, I’d fluffing die. I get sick going to the mall or the movie theater, I miss theme parks so much but have to minimize it to weeks i dont have work so i dont get fired for having a welt while working in the beauty industry. I may have to get a degree online and change my field entirely because of my illness that nobody understands. People even make fun of it constantly online and I wish I could just drop online entirely because of how unbelievably ableist the entirety of the world is, i wish i could drop humans in general for their ableism, but i cant. I don’t have choices in most cases, but throwing away people who maybe purposefully maybe unintentionally thats why i’m giving you this warning and will be repeating this warning for awhile, this is where i have choice. I have to use what little choice I have in life while I can since everytime i go to movies or a concert or a theme park i almost die because of not having an immune system that functions or being in certain air qualities pr being near plants or unclean people, I may not have much time and I gotta do whats best for what little mental health I have, and if that means dropping people i care about and really want to write with and do things with but who ignore me then, i guess so be it.

#out. #illness cw #health cw #food mention #ive been writing this since noon and its now two pm so this is great #i’s usually put this under a read more but... maybe most people dont deserve a read more rn lol #their behavior will keep being awful if its not pointed out to them so #im done im gonna go welt up from hugging my cat and cry for a bit because i feel mean

[troubledsome-mind]

June 10th 2020

so yesterday was my really close friends birthday and they ghosted me i guess i can actually say that now, anyway, i wrote this for them in april and basically every year i’d send them a birthday card but since they ghosted me i wont be sending them their virtual birthday card cause of quarantine, anyway, this is what i wrote, i just feel like this should be seen by someone, at LEAST so here it is i guess.

“To be fair, i wrote this in early April as a joke cause of quarantine and the way this shit is looking now, it looks like you'll be celebrating your birthing in quarantine too .. sort of i guess, since you're essential and all .. Point is, bars should’ve been open, everything should have been .. Any who, Last year i said you weren't gonna get another one but the reality is, its because i thought i wouldn't be able to tell you things you didn't already know, so i thought instead of trying to word things differently i want to change it up this time and make it a different one since you wont be able to get a birthday card this year .. hey i guess you really wont be getting a technical birthday card .. SO here's the difference, normally i'd tell you how amazing of a person you are and blah blah blah, this time im going to force you to read the shit you never wanted to hear, for example .. it might get sad .. MIGHT, but idunno HOW sensitive you still might be. Let’s go back to three yrs ago, i wont way too into detail with this one, i dont want to trigger some shit, but this was my freshman yr and this was the time of you were considering some heavy shit and well it lead to you thinking i was giving you pitty compliments and well it led back to this memory that i tried to tell you but you weren't listening to me

I don't know if you remember the time we first hung out, we were on the highway on our way home in the back of your brothers car, the windows were down and our hair was going everywhere & i was so defeated that i just sat there while you tried your best to tame yours, i turned to you and you turned to me and you had the biggest smile on your face and i mean, it was the best fucking smile i’ve ever seen on someone, especially you and for some reason you just refuse to believe it. since we hung out once a year, i tried my best to crack a shitty joke cause for some reason you like the worst jokes i had BUT i must say, they may be the worst to me but at least i get to see, just for a second, that same smile i saw on that highway and its definitely worth it, every, single. time. Here's something else you've said, i just can not believe you said that’s, that i dont credit you, and when you said that i saw that as a stupid ass thing to say because why do you want to be credited for? and the more i thought about it i realized that i sounded like my dad, i dont see what exactly it is you want to be credited for if im being honest, but i can say i apologize, considering i made you feel that way, its definitely my fault that i allowed myself to not be as reassuring i guess? clearly there’s some shit i havent credited you for since thats how you feel, i mean what isnt there to thank you for, like the time i first had a break down and just about ready to cut you and everyone else off with no reason and talked me through it, or my favorite, the time i texted you when i was at a party and i stepped out for one second cause i wanted to talk to you plus i got bored and it was hot from all the smoke but then you though i was “too intoxicated” and then you were this defensive friend and wanted to know if i can could take me home before your curfew and i felt bad and lied that was too intoxicated and i thought, what the hell i get to see you for a sec and i appreciated you a lot for that one, it showed a lot of good in you and idk man, idk why you thought i wouldn't remember to tell you what i said the night of that day, but i’ll say it again SINCE i did say it again the next morning cause you thought i was just “drunk texting“ you and i’d just regret saying it to you in the morning, it was never a regret to say you’re a true friend, you’re the best person i’ve ever met and that im forever grateful for you and idk what i did to deserve you and i still dont, but im so happy to spend another with you even though we’re quarantined, but the day we do get to meet up again, we’re going to make it one hell of a day, love you bro, here’s to an always and forever friendship happy fucking birthday ❤️”

im not gonna lie, this shit hurts to look at, i gotta look at this shit and know that, that day wont be coming any time soon for their personal reasons and well i just hope they had a great birthday yesterday, i hope they celebrated it with their loved ones and just they had a great day overall, i wish nothing but the best for them, i guess is the complete end of them for me, i can happily end it like this from my side of the end.

#friends #complicated #ghosted #out of the loop #growing #grow #close friends #thinking #questioning