#but in truth the copying and inspiration went both ways

[you-have-a-metal-arm]

Drunk Confession

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 2.3k

Trope: Friends to Lovers

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol

Summary: Bucky gets drunk and confesses to you

Author’s Note: Please do not copy or translate my work. English is not my first language, so please understand grammar or spelling mistakes. This fic was inspired by the song, Drunk Text by Henry Moodie. I appreciate every feedback! Thank you for reading!

Since Bucky joined the Avengers, you and Bucky have been friends for eternity. The two of you hit it off when you met, and considering Bucky a quiet person, as soon as the two of you you started opening up, Steve couldn’t be more surprised. You two would flirt whenever you had a chance, but both of you were scared to admit the feelings that were so obvious to the other team members. You and Bucky would be on missions together, fighting for each other’s lives, caring about each other’s safety more than anything. After successful missions, Tony would have a party, inviting nearly half the population of New York. As everyone leaves, and the team is the only member left, they would have small games like Truth or Dare, Seven Minutes in Heaven, and so much more, leaving Tony to wonder if he’s dealing with a bunch of seventeen-year-olds.

This mission was one of the last missions the team had to deal with at the Main base of Hydra located in Russia. The mission was over quicker than Tony’s plan, leaving everyone more time to relax.

When everyone returned to the compound, Tony decided to have a party just for the Avengers. He informed the members to wear something casual. Some left for their rooms, and some went to the medic to get superficial wounds patched up.

“Let’s get drunk!!!!!!!!!!”
 Peter shouted since it was his first party where he could legally be drinking. Tony looked deadly into Peter’s eyes, warning him to act like an adult, leaving Natasha to smirk. You weren’t feeling good and remembered that Bucky usually did not enjoy staying out at parties, where he is forced to socialize; you thought the two of you would be having a movie night in your room, but you were wrong. Bucky wanted to stay and drink, so you decided to go back to your room and sleep early, but as soon as you were about to leave, Bucky grabbed your wrist.

“Stay.. Please”

He told you with his puppy eyes looking at you, and you couldn’t say no. So you silently sat down next to him, where he held your hand and absent-mindedly drew circles on the back of your hand.

“Just get a room, the two of you! We have a teenager in this room.”

Teased Sam, earning a dramatic eye roll from Bucky and Peter.

“I’m not a teenager, look! I drink! I’m an adult now.”
 Peter told Sam, showing him the bottle he had in his hands.

“Says who doesn’t even have facial hair.”

Muttered Tony. Steve and Sam were cracking up, and Peter was left annoyed.

Bucky never enjoyed drinking. Well, one, he couldn’t get drunk from his serum, and two, even if he did get drunk in some way, the hangover he had the next day and the blimming headache would remind him of the bloody chair. But for some reason, Bucky was drinking the Asgardian beer Thor brought as a present. You were worried for his sake by tomorrow, so you constantly whispered to him to stop drinking, but he wouldn’t listen.

“I just have a lot in my mind, Y/N… So just let me drink. I know the consequences ”

Bucky told you to calm you down as you were worrying too much.

“You can tell me what’s in your mind; don’t bottle them up just with alcohol.”

Bucky shook his head and drank up bottles of beer and strong whiskey. Realizing you had no power to stop him from drinking, you decided to let him be and have his way of controlling his stress.

You talked with Nat as Wanda and Vision left to go to bed. You then realize that it is already two o’clock in the morning. No one seemed to be leaving soon, so you just continued the chat with Natasha and Clint, hearing about Clint’s family and Natasha’s sister. As the conversation continued, your eyes started to feel so heavy that you decided to head back to the room. As you were trying to leave, Sam called you out.

“Y/N, cyborg is too drunk to return to his room alone. Steve’s too drunk, and obviously, I’m too terrified if I ‘invade his privacy.’”

Sam mentioned sarcastically, and you nodded. You remembered Bucky hated people entering his room, even when it was just for help, and you were the only exception in the team.

You excused the both of you, nearly carrying Bucky back to his room.

“Bucky, you’re too drunk!!! I told you to stop drinking.”

You scolded Bucky, but he just widely smiled at you.

“What are you smiling at, mister?”

“You.”

He replied so simply yet in a flirty way that made you blush.

While he was rambling stupid stuff, you had already carried him to his room and tucked him into bed. He grabbed your wrist when you were about to get him a glass of water to wake him up.

“Y/N? Did I ever tell you I’m in love with you?”

Your eyes widened. You developed a crush on Bucky for about five months now, but you were too terrified to tell him your feelings and get rejected to lose a best friend, so you had to hide your feelings deep down. But Bucky confessing his feelings to you while he’s half asleep? Your head was running miles an hour, but Bucky’s voice stopped you from overthinking.

“I’m madly in love with you, Y/N. Maybe I fell for you the moment I shook your hands, or… when you came into my room with cookies at 4 am when I woke up from a terrible nightmare, or even when you threw yourself in front of me to protect me from a gunshot, only to get yourself hurt. I think about you all the time; I think about you while eating lunch, I think about you before I go to sleep, and I think about you as soon as I wake up; you might think this is creepy, but I want to be with you, and I’m too scared if you’d find me too broken, that you’d find a reason to leave. I wanna have you so bad…”

You held his hands and kissed his forehead. You kept telling yourself;

‘He’s drunk, he’s drunk, he’s drunk’

“Buckaroo, you’re too drunk. Let’s get you to bed and talk about this in the morning, Okay?”

Bucky nodded and let go of your hand.

“Now let me go get you a glass of water. It will make you feel better a bit.”

You went to the kitchen, made a glass of water, and returned to his bed, but you couldn’t find him anywhere.

“Buck? Bucky, where are you?”

You turned on the lights and saw Bucky sitting on the couch, playing random chords on his guitar. As Bucky had therapy sessions, he was recommended to learn an instrument or make a hobby unrelated to fighting, and he decided to learn the guitar. Having YouTube, he could learn guitar in his room without anyone knowing. But sometimes he would play some chords and sing you some songs.

“Y/N, come here. I’m not drunk.”

Bucky’s voice sounded calm, which made you wonder if he wasn’t drunk. He wasn’t slurring anymore, and his eyes seemed more alert than a while ago. You followed his instructions and sat down beside him, and he started singing a song.

I wish I was who you drunk texted at midnight

Wish I was the reason you stay up ’til 3

And you can’t fall asleep

Waiting for me to reply

I wish I was more than just someone you walk by

Wish I wasn’t scared to be honest and open

Instead of just hoping

You’d feel what I’m feeling inside

Oh, and here we go again

Destroy myself to keep a friend

Hiding away, ‘cause I was afraid you’d say no

I wonder if I cross your mind

Half as much as you do mine

If I tell you the truth

What will I lose I don’t know

I wish I’d sent you that drunk text at midnight

I was just sacred it would ruin our friedship

But I really meant it

I wonder how you would reply

Bucky finished singing. He sang the last verse, nearly asleep, and as soon as the song finished, he fell asleep on the couch. You were left flabbergasted, feeling an undescribable feeling in your stomach. But you noticed if Bucky spent the night like this, he’d probably be in misery in the morning, so you decided to take the guitar away and at least make him comfy on the couch, with cushions and blankets. As you lifted his head to put the blanket below him, he brought you down and nuzzled into your neck. You were surprised and tried to get out of his grip, but he pulled you closer as you tried to escape, sending shivers down your spine. You fell asleep in his arms, and it was cozier than you thought.

You woke up earlier than Bucky and decided to make him breakfast because you knew he’d have a massive hangover when he woke up, so you prepared to create him a bowl of oatmeal with sliced banana and chicken noodle soup just in case.

Soon, you heard Bucky tossing and turning around the couch, and soon, you saw him wake up. He looked exhausted, with his hair all over the place. He frowned as he looked around his room, but as his eyes landed on you, his frown turned into a colossal smile.

‘See? He doesn’t remember a thing; he was just drunk. Let’s get over it.’

You thought to yourself.

“Good morning, Bucky; you were so drunk yesterday, like really drunk. I was scared you’d blow up.”

“Good thing I didn’t.”

“I warned you not to drink that much! You hate drinking, Buck!”

You warned him, and he nodded. You offered him a glass of water to save him from his misery. You were about to return to the kitchen to finish the food, but Bucky pinned you.

“You said we’d discuss it today.”

You tried to put on a normal face, acting as if you didn’t remember anything from yesterday.

"What?"

You questioned innocently as Bucky was about to pour his heart into you.

"I'm in love with you. Can you be my girlfriend? I was in love with you forever. And I was scared I'd lose you. I... I love you so much."

You were utterly dumbfounded. Words left your mouth. You thought it was the alcohol speaking, not himself, but as you see him all sober up, you realize it was him all along. As he confessed his feelings to you, the space between you was filled with silence, and the few seconds felt like a million years of them.

You were in shock and internally screaming from joy, and Bucky was so nervous not hearing a word from your mouth. He started overthinking, worrying if he had just lost his best friend, just from his stupid emotions that he couldn’t help but keep to himself.

"I- If you don't wanna be with me, it's totally fine. I respect your decision. And- and if you want me out of your life, I will walk out of it. And if you, if you hate me, you can, and- and... I'm sorry for ruining everything like this. I shouldn't have said that. I'm so sorry. You can leave if you like, I won't bother you with my stupid jokes, I won't sing you weird songs, I won’t keep you awake at night from nightmares, and- and”

He was rambling, and you stopped him with a deep kiss. As your lips crashed with his, his eyes widened and pushed you away in shock.

"What was that? Why did you kiss me? Just to rub it in that I'd never have you?"

You loved seeing him so nervous in front of you. The Bucky that everyone in the compound knew was a man with no emotions who was always stiff and private, but seeing him in this state made you smile. He looked so adorable. He was so adorable that it made you question how he could be a deadly assassin.

"To show you I love you too idiot."

You replied, hoping it would stop him from wandering in his thoughts that were running miles an hour. Bucky was momentarily speechless and pulled you in for another deep kiss.

“Does this mean you’re mine?”

Bucky asked while he pulled you in closer and nuzzled into your neck.

“Yes, idiot I’m yours. I’ve always been yours.”

You told him in between kisses. His tongue entered your mouth, and your tongues moved in sync.

“God, this is the best day of my life. I’ll never let you go Y/N”

He whispered.

Bucky was on top of you, and he started to kiss your neck, leaving a trail down to your clavicle. You whimpered and loved every single second of it.

“Don’t you smell something burning, doll?”

Bucky asked, and you realized the chicken noodle soup you left on the fire.

“Oh shit.”

You ran back to the kitchen, and Bucky followed you and hugged you from behind, snuggling into your neck as he absorbed your scent.

“You made something for me, sweetheart?”
 “I did, ‘cause I know how much you hate headaches, and I wanted to soothe it for a bit. I wanted to make you feel better.”

“You want me to make me feel better? But you already are, baby.”

Bucky told you with a cheeky grin and offered to get food in the common-kitchen. You went downstairs together, having hands in hands, interlocking your fingers. Bucky’s face looked better than ever, and Tony gave you death glares as he silently asked you what happened overnight. You just smiled at him.

“Since when did cyborg wake up with a grin after a heavy drinking session?”
 Sam asked, but Steve poked him when he caught on to what was happening. Steve gave Bucky a knowing glare.

“Maybe I like alcohol,”
 Bucky whispered as you were having breakfast. Your spine shivered again, and you had butterflies in your stomach again. You realized that you weren’t just in love with him, you were in fact, madly, in love with him.

Thank you for reading!!

#bucky #bucky angst #bucky barnes #bucky fanfic #bucky fic #bucky fluff #bucky imagine #bucky x female reader #bucky x reader #bucky x y/n #mcu fanfiction #mcu #marvel mcu #mcu imagine #mcu fandom #mcu x reader #mcu rp #marvel #the avengers #avengers x reader #avengers x y/n #avengers x platonic reader #sam wilson #steve rogers #natasha romanoff #clint barton #fanfic #fanfiction #oneshot #bucky x you

[fandomscompilation]

Black roses (Kaz Brekker x Reader)

Fandom: Six of Crows

Pairing: slight Kaz Brekker x Reader

Warnings: mentions of cheating (?)

A/N: Hi everyone! I'm so sorry for not posting for so long and not continuing on the two series I had going on. I lost inspiration for both works, seeing them as a copy of the show and not my own work. But no worries, I'm back to writing and plan on letting new parts out soon! But in the meantime enjoy a little one shot and maybe there'll be more to come during the wait! Let me know what you think and remember my requests are open 🫶🏻

Gif is not mine!

Once a month pigeons flocked to the Crow Club, even Ketterdams citizens went to play The Pure Luck. The game was led by a young woman. Her shuffling didn't allow anyone to count the cards, for she had her own chaotic ways. Some believed even she didn't know what would be dealt. Others believed she was so deciving that nobody suspected anything. But no matter the rumors and theories people still crowded her table.

The thing was not everyone was allowed to play at her table. She chose those that could sit down and have a chance at luck. She lured people in with her charm. Her easygoing nature allowing players to relax and enjoy their night. The table was always full of jokes, banter and laughter. It was a sight to see.

"It seems you're out of money, Sir." The girl smiled at the man across from her. There were only three players left. It was their last chance at winning and this man was desperate to have his money back at least.

"Two cards." He said throwing them to her for a change. She looked to the table before meeting his gaze again.

"Two secrets. Are you willing to pay the prize?" Her innocent voice reached his ears and after a small huff the man nodded to the cards thrown. She shuffled her cards quickly and put down the first one.

Nothing escaped her eyes. He was sweating, his lips twitched almost unnoticeably. But she trained herself to notice those minimalistic changes. After all he was playing her game now.

"Still a chance to back down, sir." He met her eyes only to nod again.

"The second one." He said looking at her hands. She shuffled the deck again and put down another card. The man frowned before showing his cards. He lost.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner. Congratulations Mrs. Frederick, you can collect your special prize at the bar." They all shook hands before she led the man to the back room.

It was just a small storage converted into lookalike office. One desk, two chairs. "Two secrets sir."

The night life at the club continued while the two talked. For anyone from the outside it was a regular occurrence, but for those that knew it was crucial. For the girl was not a normal dealer of cards. Each month she would collect secrets and unbeknownst to others she'd then meet with Dirtyhands himself.

When he entered his office she was already in front of his desk, shuffling her black deck of cards. He circled the desk and took his sit while she kept her eyes on the cards.

"He's been having an affair, three years." Her soft voice filled the silence. He only hummed starting at his own work. "It started after him and his wife couldn't start a family. So he found someone else. A man."

"And why is it important?" He asked making her put down the cards.

"Because he works at the Ravkan embassy and he got the job thanks to his father." She put down her deck and leaned back in her chair. "If one would learn of his meetings and accidentally send one of Ravkan's aristocracy to see, then his father would learn the truth and take away his position."

"Why would one open a seat at their embassy?" Kaz asked meeting her eyes. She smiled lightly with a plan already made.

"He had an ultimatum. If he marries then the job is his. But-" She leaned in closer to him. "he has a younger brother. One that enjoys life and could be easily manipulated. He would fit in just well in our city."

"And what about Mrs. Frederick?" Brekker asked going back to his work. She shrugged going back to her shuffling.

"Her son is getting divorced due to him falling in love with another woman. One that works at one of the clubs." She said lightly but still risked a glance at him. And she was right to do so, cause his jaw twitched.

"Really?" Kaz drawled scribbling even harder now.

"Well, he's head over heels for her. Mrs. Frederick said he plans on bringing her flowers tomorrow for it's the day he'll be legally divorced." She wasn't ignorant enough to not realise it was her, who the man loved. But she also knew his nature. The man was known to have affairs and to think with his manhood more than his brain.

"Not an important secret." Brekker said before sending her off. She went straight to her room, just one floor lower and sleep soon caught up to her.

The next day she spend on the Crow Club's floor. She didn't deal that night, but she still played few games and talked with frequent visitors. People loved her company for she gave them a sense of calm and security in a twisted place.

It was noon when Mrs. Frederick son, Joseph, entered the Club. He was in a formal attire with a bouquet of red roses in his hand. The Crows watched how he scanned the floors and his face broke out into a wide smile upon noticing Y/N. She was enjoying her drink with Inej and Jesper during one of the rare quiet moments.

"I hope I'm not interrupting." The man said stopping only a step away from her. She twisted her body to face him and gave a light smile.

"Of course not. Are you looking for someone?" She questioned softly and as innocent as she could. After her talk with his mother she hoped he would not approach her in the open, but she was wrong yet again.

"I'm actually here for you." He said still smiling oblivious to her discomfort. "And those are for you too." Joseph handed her the bouquet.

She looked from his face to the flowers. The bouquet looked quiet expensive for a city like Ketterdam. But no matter the prize she didn't want to give the man false hope if she accepted the gift. She was aware of his affection but for her he was only a player at her table, a man with secrets she could use.

"That's really kind of you, Joseph." She started lightly and breathed deeply. But before she could decline a cane met his elbow making Joseph retract his arm.

"Red roses, really?" Kaz drowled glaring at the flowers like they had pricked him already.

"I'm sorry?" The man frowned straightening up. The three Crows looked between the both of them in shock and confusion. Kaz Brekker was acting possessive and it was not a daily occurrence.

"You talk about your affection openly and yet you don't know that Y/N prefers black flowers." He said already sporting a look of a winner. He was confident in his knowledge about the girl and her likes.

"Why would the colour matter? It's about the gesture." Joseph argued looking back to Y/N in hopes of continuing their conversation. But yet again Brekker spoke up.

"I was trying to be nice. If you won't stop harassing one of my workers I will remove you from my Club." His words were now spoke in the harsh tone that was associated with one and only Dirtyhands.

"You have no right to do that." The man huffed going back to smile at Y/N. "She wants me here." The silence that followed was full of tension. Both man turned to look at her in expectation. Either she'd make Joseph be removed or accept his gift and let whatever this was continue. Her eyes went from the roses to Kaz who calmly met her gaze.

"I'm not a fan of red." Her soft voice broke the silence. Joseph tightened his jaw in anger, while Kaz gave a slight smirk. In moments few Dregs had the man removed while the Crows watched.

"Enjoy the rest of your evening, we've got a job tomorrow." Brekker said heading back to his office. They sat confused before Y/N sprang to her feet and ran after him.

She barged into his office just to have him waiting with two glasses of wine. He was not a fan of wine. Neither did he like flowers in his office, but there, on the side of his desk was a bouquet of black roses. They eyes met only for a moment. But it was enough to make her sit down in front of him and enjoy the drink in silence, while he worked and she smelled the flowers.

#fanfiction #writing #fanfic #kaz dirtyhands brekker #kaz brekker x reader #requests are open #six of crows

[captainsophiestark]

Bird Strike

Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Reader

Masterlist - Join My Taglist!

Written for my Year of Olympians and part of a bigger challenge being run by @yearofcreation2023​ which I’m finally catching back up on! It features a ton of other awesome creators and runs all year, so go check it out!

Fandom: Top Gun

Prompt: Apollo; light, the sun, truth, inspiration, medicine, healing

Summary: A bird strikes brings Hangman down and leads to confessions from him and Rooster's sister.

Word Count: 1,825

Category: Angst, Fluff

Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.

"Alright, you're all good Bob. Just take it easy on your wrist for a little while, and you should heal up just fine."

"Thanks," said Bob, giving me a smile as he hopped off my exam table. Life was never boring as Top Gun's chief medical officer, but thankfully today I hadn't had to deal with any serious injuries. Just a slightly sprained wrist from a little too much dog fight football.

"Sure thing." I headed for the door with Bob, since I didn't have anyone else waiting for medical attention. Jake Seresin, the most arrogant pilot at Top Gun (except maybe Mav), was currently up flying, and since I didn't have any pressing work to attend to I wanted to listen in on how he was doing.

"Hey!" Bradley, my older brother, waved as soon as he saw me and Bob enter the room. A few aviators were gathered around, listening to the comms between pilots still in the air. "You missed my run."

"Oh no, I'm so sad. How will I ever recover?"

Bradley just rolled his eyes at me as I sidled up next to him beside the radio. I could hear Jake's voice, strategizing with his wingman and tracking the instructor's positions. I tuned in, imagining I could see his plane as it flew across the sky.

"So you're in here listening carefully to the radio for Seresin but not your brother?"

"Shut up," I said, shoving him back much harder than necessary. I wasn't sure if he knew that he'd found some truth in terms of my feelings for Jake, but I never wanted him to know. "I heal injuries for a living, and I'm just as skilled at causing injuries."

"Don't you have some kind of oath to do no harm?"

"You're my exception."

I gave him a fake sweet smile as he narrowed his eyes at me. He opened his mouth, probably to make a bad attempt at a comeback, but he stopped short at the sounds of distress coming from the radio.

"Hangman, watch out!"

"Bird strike, bird strike!"

My heart stopped in my chest. The room went dead silent, everyone freezing and all conversation coming to a stop as we listened to the radio.

"Hangman to Tower, Hangman to Tower. I need to come in for an immediate emergency landing."

"Copy. Just stay calm, we've got the runway open for you."

"Alright. I'm coming around."

The silence stretched on, hanging over the room like a heavy blanket. I twisted my fingers, fidgeting, trying to dispel the nervous energy. He was going to be fine. He had to be.

I saw Bradley glancing at me out of the corner of my eye, but I ignored him. I kept my eyes and attention glued on the radio. I wasn't sure if I wanted the silence to end or not, but I didn't get a choice as the radio crackled to life again.

"Tower, it's no good, I'm losing speed and altitude too fast. I'm gonna have to eject."

I felt like I'd been hit by a train. Wordlessly, I reached out one hand, and Bradley quickly took it. He stood tall and strong beside me, his face clouded while my world spiraled out of control. This could not be happening.

"He's gonna be fine," Bradley muttered. I barely heard him. It sounded like we were underwater, and the room had started to spin.

Bradley and I had lost our dad this way, when the canopy to his fighter jet didn't detach the way it was supposed to. We'd both been pretty young, but I swear I remembered every awful moment of our mother coming to break the news, of Mav explaining just what had happened and how sorry he was with tears in his eyes. When Bradley had decided to follow our dad's path into becoming a pilot, my number one nightmare had been losing him the same way. Now I might be forced to live that reality with Jake instead.

The silence stretched on as Bradley and I stood, shoulder to shoulder, waiting with everyone else in the room. A moment later, I heard Mav's voice over the radio.

"Canopy looked good and I saw a chute."

Mav continued to call out his position for Jake's recovery team, but I barely heard it as relief crashed like a wave through my ears. I wouldn't be completely relieved until he walked through the door, but at least it sounded like he was going to be just fine.

"It's okay," Bradley muttered, pulling me into a quick hug and mumbling into my hair. "It's okay."

I nodded, still feeling a little shaky as I gave him a quick hug before pulling back.

"I need to get to my exam room. Even if he's perfectly healthy, he's gonna need a checkup to make sure nothing's wrong."

"Do you want me to come with you?"

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to force myself to calm down a little. I shook my head.

"That's alright. I'm okay."

Bradley didn't look totally convinced, but I managed to shake him anyway with a promise to call him if I needed him. I focused on taking deep breaths and trying to calm myself down for the walk back to my exam room. It sort of worked, although I literally paced the room waiting for Jake to be brought in. When I finally heard shuffling outside the door, I quickly crossed the room and flung it open.

"I told you, I'm fine!"

Jake stood in the hallway on his own two feet, wrestling with one of the men who'd brought him in. The guy didn't budge despite Jake's protest, but I decided to step in before things could escalate.

"Jake, get in the exam room."

His head snapped up to face me, but despite his momentary surprise, he didn't back down.

"I'm gonna tell you the same thing I told them, I'm fine. I don't need an exam-"

"You ejected from your plane. You might be walking, but that's no grantee you don't have an injury just waiting to show itself once the adrenaline fades. So come on. The less you fight it, the sooner you can leave and go do whatever it is you want to do so badly."

He fixed me with a look, but I just crossed my arms and stared right back. Finally, once he realized I wasn't going to back down, he sighed.

"Fine. But if I miss somebody shooting Maverick down, I'm gonna be pissed."

I resisted the urge to reply as Jake walked past me, and I followed him into the exam room. My brain still didn't completely believe he was sitting here, in front of me, apparently completely healthy. The adrenaline dump made my hands shake a little as I checked Jake's heartrate and went through a few more basic checks.

"Are you sure you don't feel any pain?" I asked while I worked. I'd already asked him twice before, but I wanted to keep checking in case his answer changed, especially as any potential shock wore off.

"For the third time, yes. Quit hovering already."

I stepped back, hands on my hips as I fixed Jake with a look. He seemed to be perfectly happy and relaxed in the wake of his dangerous adventure, but I was still wrestling with the thought that my worst nightmare almost came true, so I wasn't in the mood to be gentle.

"Jake, it is my job to check you out and make sure you're not injured with something that's going to come back to bite you the second you're out the door. So sit still, stop complaining, and let me do my job!"

"...Since when do you care so much?"

"Excuse me?"

"Not about your job, but... about me. You seem like you care a lot. I thought you hated me for all the shit I give your brother."

I sighed. "No. I mean, sure, sometimes it's annoying and sometimes it's a little over the line, but... no. I don't hate you, Jake."

He didn't really respond, which left me to finish my exam without resistance. Thankfully, he was perfectly healthy, not a scratch on him. Still, that didn't stop my hands from shaking as I lowered my stethoscope. I started to pull away, but Jake caught my hand and stopped me.

"Hey, you're shaking." I closed my eyes and let out a long breath. I'd done so well hiding it until now. "What's wrong?"

I opened my eyes to find Jake staring at me, his bright blue eyes full of unusual concern. I sighed.

"You know mine and Bradley's history, Jake. I lost my dad to the same thing that landed you here today. I've spent every single day since Bradley joined the navy terrified that I would lose him the same way, and then when I heard you on the radio, dropping out of the sky and being forced to eject..." I took a deep breath, steeling myself, and then looking back at Jake. "I've had feelings for you for a little while now, Seresin, but when I heard that call? I just about had a heart attack at the thought of losing you."

Jake huffed a little, disbelieving laugh, then tugged me closer to him. My heart stuttered in my chest as Jake grinned.

"I've had feelings for you for a while now, too," he said. A smile pulled its way onto my face, but a moment later, Jake's expression sobered. "Although I have to warn you, sweetheart, if we do something about those feelings... you're not gonna be any less relaxed going about your day since I'm going to be up in the air all the time."

I sighed and closed my eyes, leaning in to rest my head against Jake's forehead. He still held my hand tight, giving it a little reassuring squeeze.

"I know," I finally said. "But... I'm willing to take that risk. It's worth it to me. And it's not like I wouldn't be worried about you anyway."

Jake pulled away, the grin firmly back in place as he looked at me. "I'm glad I'm worth it to you."

Without another word, he leaned back in, this time for a kiss that I'd thought about more than once (and apparently so had he). We stayed that way for a long time, savoring the moment and each other as my hands wandered over Jake's shoulders, reassuring myself that this was real. He was okay, and now we were both better than okay.

When we finally pulled apart, Jake still had that ridiculous cocky grin on his face as he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me tighter to his chest.

"Your brother is gonna hate this," he said gleefully. I just laughed and lightly smacked his chest. He was right, my brother was going to hate this, but Bradley would just have to deal with it. Now that I had Jake, I didn't plan to let him go any time soon.

****************

Everything Taglist: @rosecentury

Top Gun Taglist: @elenavampire21

#year of creation 2023 #top gun #top gun maverick #jake hangman seresin #top gun fanfiction #top gun imagine #top gun oneshot #top gun maverick fanfiction #hangman #jake hangman seresin x reader #jake seresin x reader #jake hangman seresin fanfiction #bradley rooster bradshaw #bradshaw!reader #top gun maverick oneshot #top gun maverick imagine #medic!reader #hangman x reader #hangman fanfiction #pete maverick mitchell

[blackswaneuroparedux]

Tall and tan and young and lovely The girl from Ipanema goes walking and When she passes, each one she passes goes, ‘ah'”

The Girl from Ipanema

The girl from Ipanema is dead. Or rather the one who gave her voice to it died, Astrud Gilberto.

The Girl From Ipanema was originally titled ‘Menina que Passa’ (‘The Girl Who Passes By’) and set to be featured in a musical comedy entitled Dirigivel.It was written in 1962 by Antônio Carlos Jobim with Portuguese lyrics by Vinícius de Moraes. The inspiration for the song came from a young woman, Heloísa Eneida Menezes Paes Pinto who lived in Montenegro Street in Ipanema. The 17 year old Heloísa would be noticed walking past the Veloso bar-café as part of her daily routine, and one day going about her normal business she caught the attention of the composers. Leaving an impression of youth and grace, to Moraes and Jobim she became the girl from Ipanema. The popularity of the song would elevate the teenager to celebrity status, and in the years that followed would be known as Helô Pinheiro a model and successful businesswoman. 

Under the spell of bossa nova, the great Stan Getz teamed up with Brazilian guitarist João Gilberto to record, primarily, the songs of Antônio Carlos Jobim. The resulting album, Getz/Gilberto was released in 1964 became a million seller and one of the most famous jazz albums of all time. The success of the album was arguably down to the track ‘The Girl From Ipanema’ which came out as a 45rpm single. It was sung by Astrud Gilberto, it went on to sell more than five million copies worldwide.

During the recording session for the album that took place on 18 and 19 March, 1963 it was decided that a version with lyrics in English would be a good idea. Norman Gimbel was on hand to write the English lyrics, and ‘Garota de Ipanema’ quickly became ‘The Girl From Ipanema’.  There was just one problem: no one available with a good enough command of the language to sing the song in English. That was, apart from João’s wife Astrud who had come along to the studio.

Although she had never recorded professionally before, she was an experienced vocalist having sung on stage with her husband and what followed catapulted the 22 year-old singer to worldwide fame. She laid down vocals for the track, as well as another song – ‘Corcovado (Quiet Nights of Quiet Stars)’. Getz, Gilberto and producer Creed Taylor quickly realised they had something special, with her gentle voice, almost a quiet whisper, a perfect fit for the song and for Getz’s warm yet light toned tenor playing.

The astronomical success of the single ensured good sales for the full album too, and Stan Getz is said to have been remuneration handsomely for his work. However, whilst the success of the song may have helped launch Astrud’s career, she did not benefit financially. She was reportedly paid just $120 which was the standard rate for her contribution - although the saxophonist was apparently insistent that she should be paid nothing.

In her own words, she was manipulated by “wolves posing as sheep”. Both Getz and Creed Taylor claimed credit for the discovery, with the singer later commenting: “in fact, nothing is further from the truth. I guess it made them look important to have been the one that had the ‘wisdom’ to recognise potential in my singing… I can’t help but feel annoyed that they resorted to lying.”

As a result of the way the song was credited for royalties, Astrud Gilberto received indeed received no additional financial remuneration for her contribution. The injustice continues when it transpires that her husband at the time (they divorced a short time afterwards in 1964) received a 5-figure amount via royalties while Getz, securing the largest amount, is rumoured to have bought a mansion with his share that amounted to nearly $1 million. The injustice and inequality of the music business may have reared its ugly head – unfortunately just one of many such instances - but the music that came from the session has left us with a timeless gem. Today it is reportedly the second most recorded pop song of all time after the Beatles’ ‘Yesterday’.

The Girl from Ipanema would be her only major hit - though it crept back into the UK chart in 1984 as bossa nova flourished again, popularised by Everything But the Girl, Sade and others - but she retained a fandom for a series of subsequent solo albums on the jazz label Verve, beginning with 1965’s The Astrud Gilberto Album. She also recorded with Chet Baker, and continued to tour until 2002. In 2008 she was given a lifetime achievement award by the Latin Grammys.

Video: is Astrud Gilberto performing "The Girl from Ipanema" in 1964 with Stan Getz on tenor sax, Gary Burton on vibraphone, Gene Cherico on bass, and Joe Hunt on drums.

RIP Astrud Gilberto (1940 - 2023)

#astrud gilberto #gilberto #quote #stan getz #bossa nova #music #jazz #girl from ipanema #brazil #brazilian #singer #song #culture

[babyrdie]

I gave my Patroclus curly hair and, as a fellow member of the "naturally curly hair" club, I wondered what it would be like to come back from the fight with some parts covered in blood. Really, in Patroclus' place, I would look forward to a bath at the same time as I would regret in advance the amount of time I would spend just on my hair (and in his case, a beard too). That's why he looks so sulky here lol

Armor

I remembered that Achilles' second armor (the one made by Hephaestus) was highly described, but I didn't remember the first one. So I went back to the scene where Patroclus wears it (Book XVI) to get a clue and there is a description, although short: the breastplate was made of bronze and had stars, the ankle cnemides were adorned with silver, the helmet had a horse's plume and the shield was huge. It's mentioned that Patroclus also took a bronze sword with silver ornaments, but I cannot say whether it belonged to Achilles as well. The Iliad clearly says that although Achilles is primarily a spear user, Patroclus did not take his ash spear with him because of the Achaeans only Achilles could lift it (it was a gift from Chiron to Peleus). As you may have noticed, this still leaves a lot of detail out, so the rest I made up from imagination.

I'll make it clear now that none of the armors in my drawing really matches Mycenaean times, they're more like "resembling" Mycenaean times. But in my defense: I've never seen anyone use the Mycenaean armor design when drawing the Trojan War characters either! In theory, it would look like this (although obviously we consider that this piece is old and has already been greatly altered by external conditions until it was found):

Dendra armor. See here.

So I tried to improvise to still get something close to the things I found, but that's it: I still doubt that my drawing is accurate, so let's use artistic freedom.

I was a little inspired by this vase, taking the Mycenaean tunic from it and the clothes decorated with fringes. Another site has attempts at reconstructing Mycenaean armor, which is convenient. Even more convenient is that the site indicates by name who is wearing whose armor (it also has Agamemnon, Odysseus, Diomedes, Hector and others from armies instead of specific characters). There are two versions for Achilles, but both are Hephaestus' armor, so neither is what I was looking for. I used a little of each for inspiration.

However, I still simplified the design instead of copying the reconstruction because I'm not much for drawing very detailed things. I'll probably change it more often, since here I only managed to draw the chest part due to the framing and the pose. And because it's after a battle, not even the helmet is present. So, I didn't do the entire armor design all at once, but rather "chopped it up". Result: I can't guarantee that I will keep what I already have because I don't know if it will be harmonious with the rest when I design it.

As for Achilles' hairstyle…well, truth be told! I've seen male characters being represented with a bun, as is the case with Apollo, but there is a catch: these representations of Apollo do not follow the Mycenaean period! From the Mycenaean period, you can tell that men had long hair, but I imagine by that they mean something more like at most chest length (average, at least). But my Achilles has hair so long it almost goes down to his butt. As a bonus, it's voluminous! It's a very impractical amount of hair, it can't be left loose. I could make a ponytail like Patroclus' (there's even a representation of Achilles with a ponytail), but I think with that size it wouldn't be enough because it's still easy to get in the way, so a bun and an accessory that helps move the bangs away. Of course, this would conflict with the helmet, but that's precisely why it's a low bun. From the images I saw, this part of the head was uncovered.

As for Patroclus, we have no description of an armor he wears other than Achilles' as far as I can remember. In other words, his armor had to be entirely invented, but I still used the same sources to get an idea of how to do it. I admit that I considered doing something generic for him, with the internal justification that he's neither a prince nor a king, so it wouldn't be so unrealistic and I would save time on this drawing too! But then I thought to myself if it would make sense with Achilles' character to not find a way to put Patroclus in a good armor and I came to the conclusion that it wouldn't make sense, so here we are. It took some work, but I'll tell myself that my man Patroclus deserves his non-generic armor too. And since he also has long bangs, I also had to add something to keep it out of his sight.

#tagamemnon #IK #patrochilles #the iliad #epic cycle #patroclus #achilles #achillesxpatroclus #patroclusxachilles #greek mythology #digital art

[unluckyhoneybee]

Me? (Daniel Ricciardo)

Your son finds a picture of Danny. Fluff.

Note: my hormones want me to give Danny a son. Sorry. It's Dad Danny hours. Inspired in this.

Short but sweet.

"Joey, where are you?" I walked around the house trying to find the toddler. He had been silent for way too long and that could only mean mischief.

Opening the office's door, I looked inside. Daniel was on the PC checking some data from last race. His headphones were on, but he saw the movement and looked at me.

"Hi baby" He smiled and pulled his headphones down. "Everything okay?"

"I can't find that little rascal of yours" I said smiling.

"He was on his room"

"Already checked."

Then, you heard a noise.

"There he is" Daniel said smiling.

I rolled my eyes and walked to our bedroom. I found Joey in the floor surrounded by photos. The noise must had been the box falling from its place in the wardrobe.

I observed him for a while. He was gently checking the photos and comparing them. He took one and gasped. On his face appeared the cutest smile, so similar to Danny's. It made me smile too.

"Joey?"

He looked at me. He knew he shouldn't had taken the box without help. But I wasn't angry. It was cute seeing him checking the photos. They were mine and Dan's, from all the years we had been together, from when we were kids...

"What are you doing, honey?"

He showed me the picture in his hand. It was Danny with a pair of headphones on and a smile. He hasn't changed a bit.

I sat with Joey.

"You know who is he?"

He nodded slowly looking at the photo on his chubby hands.

"Me?"

I gasped a bit and I smile formed on my face.

"Okay, let me take a look"

Joey gave me photo and I put it right next to his face.

"Can you put that smile?"

He smiled like Danny on the photo and I chuckled. It was amazing. He was just a carbon copy of his dad.

"It's me, mum?"

"No baby, it's dad"

"Dad? No, it's me."

"Yeah, baby. It's dad. Do you want to go and ask him?"

Joey nodded eagerly and got up, giving me a helping hand.

"Thank you"

We went to Danny's office and he knocked softly.

"Come in!"

I opened the door and Joey pushed it.

"Hi dad"

"Hi buddy" Danny smiled.

"I found something."

"What did you found?"

Daniel pushed his chair back and made space, then patted his thighs and Joey ran to him. Daniel help him climb on his legs and kissed his head. I walked to them with the picture in my hand.

"Joey, tell dad who this boy is"

Daniel smiled and looked at Joey, who looked at his eyes and said: "Me"

Daniel laughed hard.

"You?"

Joey nodded and Dan took the photo. Then put it next to Joey's face and laughed again, pure joy on his eyes.

"OMG! It's copy and paste!"

I laughed. Joey, seeing both of his parents laughing, laughed too.

"Joey, baby, this kid is me! Look!" Daniel put the headphones on and mimicked himself on the picture. "See?"

"It's not me?"

"No baby. This was dad so many years ago" I told him.

"Really? Dad was this small? He is super tall now" He told me ignoring completely Dan's presence.

"Mhm. He was so so small. We can ask Granny when she calls later, okay?"

"I will only believe Granny"

Daniel and I laughed. Joey was still looking at the picture and then at his dad, trying to figure if we where saying the truth.

"He really looks like me."

"Yeah, you can't deny he is your son" I smiled running my hand through Joey's black curls.

"Yeah. I hope little princess here looks more like you. She would be beautiful." His big hand went to the side of my belly, where the other Mini Ricciardo was kicking hard. I covered it with mine and smile.

"I would be happy anyways. Joey will be the most handsome boy when he gets older"

"I'm handsome now, mum"

Daniel barked a laugh.

"And that's Daniel Ricciardo's eldest son!" He exclaimed.

#daniel ricciardo #Dr #Fic #Short fic #F1 #Fluff #dad!driver

[jacksgreysays]

Fake Fic Summaries 30/?, the Gotta Complete The Set edition (2023-02-27)

The Theories of Uncertain Presents

Naruto knows that one day he’ll go back home and reunite with his teammates, the only family he’s ever had, but until then he’ll try to find himself.

Literally.

He probably shouldn’t have done shadow clone jutsu so close to an unfamiliar seal.

Okay, I felt like I was dogging on Naruto in the bleak primadonna AU and I’ve been reading a lot of DoS fic which, understandably, focuses more on Shikako and Sasuke doing ANBU shenanigans — more specifically the In a Definite Place at a Definite Time ‘verse and all of it’s spin offs/permutations/inspired by, etc. In which Shikako and Sasuke end up in Warring Clans Era and sort of complicate and encourage peace between the Uchiha and Senju depending on which fics you read, lol.

In particular, I read The Results of Non-Future’s Past by Aryia_Lexi_Sevorus which is where the title of this fake fic comes from, and which resolves the time travel issue with Shikako reverse engineering the memory sharing aspect of the shadow clone jutsu such that there are two version of Sasuke and Shikako, one who stay in the past, and one who receive their memories and don’t set off the seal to begin with. Aryia_Lexi_Sevorus’ fic is about Kakashi joining them. It’s very heartwarming.

But then my brain went… HOW DOES NARUTO JOIN THEM? Because how sad would it be for the Lucky Sevens to only be partially complete T_T

On the one hand, of course it would be LOGICAL if it just occurred when he returns after his training trip and did what Kakashi did to join them, but that’s SO LONG and it’s not like Naruto doesn’t ALSO encounter strange things when he’s on his own, and it WAS an Uzumaki seal plus shadow clones (his specialty) that sends the others’ memories back.

So what if he did it in reverse? (Konoha’s #1 most unpredictable ninja, lol)

As in, Naruto is out training somewhere (maybe Jiraiya’s busy doing spymaster stuff or he’s just being irresponsible, who knows) but he does shadow clone—as per usual when he’s solo training—in a place he shouldn’t ie where there is a similar Uzumaki time travel seal. But instead of making a shadow clone, he makes Schroedinger’s copies of himself one for the present and one for the past. Both of them are the real him because both of them are also the shadow clone. This is basically Everything, Everywhere, All At Once rules: either all of them are real or none of them are real, there’s no “truer” versions of yourself. But we’re dealing with two anyways… although the EEAAT comparison may come back up again.

Anyways, we would follow travelled-to-the-past!Naruto’s POV to the Warring Clans Era where he maybe even encounters the Uzumaki who made the original seal. And, weirdly enough, I almost feel like—in a similar way that his method to get there is opposite to the others—he doesn’t have that many problems integrating with the Uzumaki, and once he figures out what’s happening he just straight up tells the Uzumaki the truth.

And they believe him. Because they’re the Uzumaki. (And, also, if the person making the seal was there then they have an idea of what it could do. In addition, there’s probably a chakra sensor who can absolutely confirm that Naruto is in fact an Uzumaki. And thirdly, even if the Kyuubi chakra freaks them out, I’m assuming the jinchuuriki is Mito’s seal, and I feel like the Uzumaki would recognize her handiwork)

He’s an Uzumaki who gets to discover what the Uzumaki were like! He gets to discover family! He has a clan! All of my Uzushio Feels™!

So it’s more of a “discovering his heritage” fic than a “high stakes undercover don’t mess up the timeline” thing that his teammates are going through, but that’s kind of what the Uzumaki are like. Also, it would be funny if it’s happening at the same time as Sasuke and Shikako’s situation, which would explain where the heck Mito is the whole time considering I think she’s mentioned to already be married to Hashirama but is very rarely in any of the various fic. Like, she went back to Uzushio for a quick errand and then Naruto showed up. They might assume that Naruto is Mito’s descendant anyway considering 1) he doesn’t know his parents’ names, only that he is an Uzumaki from Konoha and 2) the jinchuuriki seal on his belly is probably her style

She’ll go back once she figures out this new Uzumaki situation and lets him enjoy being an Uzumaki in Uzushio.

And at some point Mito is like… I’m going to bring my new little brother to Konoha and Team Seven just does the Spiderman pointing meme before group hugging, absolutely baffling everyone else witnessing. Well, probably not Mito, because she already knows he’s from the future. Although I suppose she’d be baffled by the fact that his teammates are also back in time.

To prevent it from being ENTIRELY fluff, I would probably throw in the fact that, since his situation is extremely different from Sasuke and Shikako, that each time he does shadow clone in either the Warring Clans Era or the Present both versions of him get the memory feedback. So if WCE!Naruto does a shadow clone, both WCE!Naruto AND Present!Naruto will received that shadow clone’s memories—because, again, both are the real Naruto. Which means, eventually, this will be very useful for information passing back and forth once he gets back to Konoha and can confer with his teammates, but for right now if probably very bewildering and alarming. Especially for Present!Naruto who is just getting hit with memories of time traveling and meeting other Uzumaki?

Although, now that I’ve typed it out, obviously that means Present!Naruto can send information back to WCE!Naruto. And obviously Present!Naruto will tell Jiraiya what’s happening, so at some point Jiraiya’s gotta confess that he’s known who Naruto’s parents are the whole time and I guess what I’m saying is—again, in a similarly everything is opposite of his teammates—Naruto’s drama/stress happens in the present not the WCE.

I mostly just wanted Naruto to be included in the time traveling thing and also the Spiderman pointing meme with Team Seven, lol.

#jacksgreyson #dreaming of sunshine #fake fic summaries #brainstorm #fanfiction #naruto uzumaki #mito uzumaki #jiraiya

[moonsfantasyworld]

An au idea i made purely for indulgment and shiping

i admit

a good part of this is inspired in other aus i've seen around, which, i hope the og creators have no issue with- this is my own version of a shadow milk who managed to stop himself from being fully corrupted + a version of my oc where she didnt take the decision to fully change herself to escape her past

im too lazy to draw designs right now so i'll do this another time

also copy pasting this from a server where i talked about it

----

the name of the au would be something like ''right cookie, right time'' (FIGHT ME)

something something, shadow milk is able to stop himself from corruption in time from realising it was related to his soul jam, the witches still take it from him but he is tasked with looking over and making sure the next holder doesnt follows the path of the beasts

a little before corruption he was able to get inside the city of wizards and got as many scrolls and books as he could since he is a big book worm, (im part of the team that thinks shadow milk was the founder of the blueberry yougurt academy and that blueberry yougurt/milk cookie was his old name), something something he finds berry's papers and fionds his way into getting her out himself out of curiosity

imagine his face at seeing such a pretty kind yet scared girl infront of him after being free after so long

fell in love in sight, berry took a bit, but fell for him too not too long after

berry would keep her name, no reason in changing it, so she would still be called cosmos here!

both then became very important holders of history and protectors of knowladge, cosmos still having an interest in the dream realm and taking part in it

shadow milk still has little scares of what he almost becomes, but does his best to not let it get to him

. . . also they once found a baby that they adopted

the baby was pure vanilla :] cosmos went full momma mode, and so did shadow milk but also he just knew he was the right one for the soul jam of truth if anyone has any questions please feel free to ask!

#shadow milk cookie #SM (cosmos) cookie #cookie run kingdom #oc x canon #berry milk (sm duo) #fan oc #fanart #drawing #reblogs appreciated #reblogs encouraged

[daz4i]

Not to be a toxic skk shipper on main but PLEASEEE EXPLAIN THE SKK CLASSPECTS IM BEGGING

sure thing! :D I'm on mobile so it may not be the most organized thing tho hehe sorry.

so lemme start with the aspects:

from the start i knew dazai had to be void. i think the emptiness that doesn't leave him is a defining thing abt him, and i think his current self would be happy to utilize it to help, somehow, if he could. void is also about secrets and hidden information, mystery and uncertainty, which dazai is quite full of, I'd say, both inside and out. he seems to be comfortable in that element tbh

chuuya's aspect was smth i considered for a bit; the other options i thought of were rage (bc that's quite literally how arahabaki works, chaos and destruction) or time, an aspect that means you're gonna witness a looooot of death and lose most people close to you. which. well. *motions towards sb*

however!!!! i went with blood, bc it's all about bonds, unity, pacts, and i think this is a big defining thing about chuuya - his loyalty, and his need for bonds and friendship. i think going by his personality and motivations is better than going by his powers (bc that's kinda boring) or backstory (bc that's soooo sad)

now, onto classes:

this time let's start with chuuya bc we're on a roll.

"A Heir is one who Changes/Manipulates their Aspect and through their Aspect. Also, may become their Aspect."

an heir of blood doesn't directly manipulate the people they have a bond with, rather inspiring them and leading them (which, as we've seen during cannibalism, chuuya can definitely do. also he wouldn't become an executive with people in his charge if he couldn't do this lol). in turn, they will become stronger from their bonds and feel more secure when they have people to rely on, which, given how chuuya stayed with the mafia all this time, i think it's safe to say that's the case with him hehe.

ok now it's dazai time

to put it simply. a seer sees the future lol (or rather, will invite knowledge, to put it more fancily). but it's through their aspect, somehow - for example, in the original comic, rose sees the best course of action to take (as her aspect is all about luck), and terezi sees all possible outcomes to a situation (and her aspect is about thoughts and decisions)

so, a seer of void will have knowledge of secrets and mysteries, and things others may not be aware of or want to bring to light. i think this is perfect for dazai tbh, and how he gets info in shady ways or figures things out due to his dark past

unlike other seers, a seer of void would do better with not knowing all the details, which, given how s5e11 went, it seems dazai is relatively comfortable with in his current state.

at the same time, a seer of void will not be satisfied with what they're told is the truth, and may be distrustful and try to figure out what's really going on (see: dazai's suspicion of ango during the dark era). in addition, they will have their own view of the world which. not to get into analysis through nlh and comparisons to yozo. BUT- *i get pulled off the stage by a large hooked cane*

also lemme copy a thing from a post i found and used as reference rn. "If the Seer of Void is not careful, they could become cynical and pessimistic - apathetic and dismissive." hmmm reminds me of the younger self of a certain someone (tbh this one's true abt all void players lol). also "They wouldn’t allow themself to remain under the oppressive boot of a leader, especially a leader who thinks they know what is best for the Seer of Void" HMMM REMINDS ME OF THE CONCLUSION TO A CERTAIN BACKSTORY LIGHT NOVEL

bonus for how that works for them as a team, so we can sort of get into the shipping part too:

so, a seer of void will be the planner. obviously. they will notice if something is Off about the situation, and figure out a way to get out of it if needed. they won't have a problem relying on their teammate(s), and these are great news when their teammate is an heir of blood who will bring out the best of that bond between them! heirs are particularly powerful, so being backed by a good planner who will cover their blind spots will make them a powerful duo 😌

hope you enjoyed and that this wasn't complete gibberish! 🫡 i am no expert in classpecting so this may not be the most accurate take ever but i did my best ✨️

#also sorry it took me over an hour to reply akdlflglh i type slow on mobile + had to rush to the shelter twice in the middle. #dan rambles

[lucreziaq2001]

•TV show: "Criminal minds".

•Content warnings: A teenage girl's death, a mother losing her only child, a son losing his mom at a very young age, both of them still missing the girl, mentions of electroshock and the marks it left on people, the possibility of the girl having died because of it and the hospital staff having gotten rid of her body, the girl wanting her mom to take her home and the mother being unable to because of something her daughter's boyfriend had decided, the girl trying to run away from the hospital but being unable to, the girl being considered mentally ill because she is gay, her having cheated on her boyfriend and her mother at first thinking they were doing the right thing for her child, but now feeling guilty about leaving her.

•Some of the lines are almost the same that are in a scene of the "Cold case" episode this story is inspired by. I did modify them a bit, though. I didn't just copy and paste them.

•I'm sorry if Emily and her mother are out of character. I just thought it made sense for the story to make them the way they are in this chapter.

•Tags: @lex13cm, @golden1u5t, @avis-writeshq, @rynwritesreid, @chrrysgirl, @amerrymango, @marie-sworld, @iluvreid, @babygirl-garcia, @hugyourlungs, @strangermoonlove.

The bridge to Heaven

Chapter 15: A mother's guilt

Two days later, as soon as the retirement home the woman lived in was opened to visitors for the day, around 10 am, David and his wife went to visit Elizabeth Prentiss.

Part of them didn't want to bother Emily's mother again by bringing memories related to the death of her only child to light, but they knew they had to do it if they wanted Elizabeth to know the truth and Emily to get justice.

When they arrived in Elizabeth's bedroom, they found the woman sitting on the sofa next to her bed, with her grandson Declan next to her.

Although he was over 40 years old and also a father by that time, the man was crying desperately, while his grandmother held him in her arms.

"I know she cheated on him, but it was just a kiss, nothing more. Why did Dad have to send Mom to that place? I want my mom" Dave and Erin heard him say through his tears, and their hearts broke for that man who inside, was partly still a small child hoping his mother would come home.

"It wasn't about the kiss, Declan. There was a lot more to that situation. Your mum wasn't sick, but at the time she was believed to be. I'm very sorry" Elizabeth tried to explain, great sadness evident in her voice.

Then, when she looked up and saw Erin and David, she let her grandson cry some more for a few minutes, then she asked him to leave the room while she talked to the writer and his wife.

"We know what happened to Emily" David told her as soon as Declan had left the room "Not the whole story, but most of it. Why did you agree to send your daughter to Brockview?".

"I thought I was doing the best thing for Emily, but when I went to visit her a week after her hospitalization, I realized that wasn't the case" Elizabeth explained "As soon as she saw me, my daughter started screaming and crying, begging me to take her back home. She wanted to come back to me, but Dr. Kearns wouldn't let me take her away. Apparently, Ian had asked him to give only him the chance to get Emily out of there".

"And how long did she stay there?" David asked her.

"Seventeen days, then she died" Elizabeth replied through the tears that were now running down her cheeks "She had tried to escape a couple of times, it seems. Once they caught her and brought her back, the other time she gave up herself. She was probably afraid that I would agree with Ian and send her back to that place. That's why she didn't come to me".

Instinctively, without even thinking about what she was doing, Erin took the woman's hand and squeezed it.

She was a mother too and although she didn't believe she could have been capable of sending one of her children to such a place, she empathized with Elizabeth Prentiss a little and had compassion for her.

She couldn't even imagine what it was like to live with that guilt for all those years.

"Thank you for your help, Mrs Prentiss" Dave then told her, before saying goodbye to Elizabeth and leaving the room with his wife.

"They gave her that dress at the hospital" was the first thing Erin said to her husband when they got to their car "The electroshock explains the marks on her temples".

"During that therapy something went wrong and Emily died, and then the nurses got rid of her body" David responded, thinking he had finally found the solution to that case.

Unfortunately, however, even if only slightly, he and his wife were still off track.

[thescarletgarden1990]

I posted 3,945 times in 2022

81 posts created (2%)

3,864 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@loekas

@songofthewinterrose

@shi-saa

@fatui-harbingers

@adecila

I tagged 473 of my posts in 2022

#scarlet has mail - 25 posts

#sanremo 2022 - 22 posts

#my fics - 21 posts

#eurovision - 21 posts

#sanremo - 21 posts

#esc 2022 - 19 posts

#tomakeitbeautifultolive - 17 posts

#dracula daily - 16 posts

#anon - 16 posts

#25 aprile - 16 posts

Longest Tag: 125 characters

#it's hard for me to pinpoint the change but holy fuck my mom's more open-minded than half gen-z tiktokers like wtf went wrong

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Yo guys, Achille Lauro has been around and like that for even longer than Måneskin. I will even sustain my opinion that his Me Ne Frego at Sanremo 2019 paved the way for Måneskin's victory with Zitti e Buoni at Sanremo 2021, and, consequently, at Eurovision. Have some fucking respect, he's not copying Måneskin and he is not Måneskin's cheap version.

59 notes - Posted May 12, 2022

#4

Me: stomping my feet, crying and pouting because my fave fics aren't updated.

My own wips:

89 notes - Posted August 17, 2022

#3

Foreign Affairs | Chapter 2: Relations with the Queen

Plotted and written with @tomakeitbeautifultolive​​ ❤

Without hesitation, he grabbed it from her hands and put it to his lips. He shut his eyes, savouring the cool cream as it flowed into his mouth. Gods, Dany thought, just look at him. In a way, he was a sorry sight. In another, though… she found his compromised state almost suggestive. There was a slight sheen of perspiration on his smooth skin. With his eyes closed, she could really appreciate his thick lashes and the way the spice plumped up his lips. There was a furrow to his brow, an expression somewhere between pleasure and pain, that seemed to make her mind wander…

He opened his eyes and mused, “Who, in their right mind, would enjoy that?”

She considered the question, and all the safe ways she could answer. Instead, she simply said: “Lovers.”

Jon blinked.

She smirked. “The heat, they say, inspires passion…”

He just looked at her, blankly—as if merely acknowledging passion, as an idea, was forbidden. Daenerys frowned. That damned vow. But for all Jon’s mouth couldn’t say, his eyes spoke the truth— they were conflicted with both longing and guilt.

“I can taste it,” he finally said. “The sweetness. I’m almost tempted to take another.”

She raised her brows, lifting the tray once more for Jon. As he indulged in a second bite of cake, she commented, “I wasn’t sure you were temptable.”

He held her gaze as he chewed, perhaps mulling over her words. She watched his mouth as he swallowed, his tongue flitting out to lick the jam from his lips. How they must burn, she thought. Sweat began to bead his brow, nose, and cheeks—but if he still suffered from the heat, she could no longer tell.

“Neither was I,” he said.

101 notes - Posted June 17, 2022

#2

Foreign Affairs | Chapter 1: An Ambassador’s Appeal

Plotted and written with @tomakeitbeautifultolive​ ❤

“I believe the queen means to entertain a wealthy merchant tonight,” Tyrion explained, gesturing at their suddenly lavish surroundings.

“From Qarth,” Jon said.

“That’s quite a lucky guess.”

“I overheard,” he admitted. “The queen mentioned something about a Qartheen dress.”

“I see.” A familiar, almost mischievous smirk grew on Tyrion’s face, then. “Are you very familiar with Qartheen customs, Lord Commander?”

Jon shrugged.

Tyrion let out a chuckle. “I daresay its fashion, in particular, is most unique.”

Yet Jon wondered, how exceptional could it be? By now, he had seen all manner of gowns. No doubt, the queen would look every bit as magnificent as her manner of address, but—

The thought died in his head as the Queen finally made her entrance. All the air left his lungs at once. He could hardly breathe, hardly believe what was currently bared to his eyes, quite literally.

110 notes - Posted April 20, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Diversity wins! The fascist that just won the elections will be the first female premier of Italy! 🥳

149 notes - Posted September 25, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[princessbettina]

Vampire Love-Legacies-Sebastian x OC reader: Chapter 5: "Tell Your Tale”

Summary of episode: Just when things are starting to get good with everyone at the Salvatore School, things take a giant turn when a secret eating monster appears, going after Kenzie due to her secret that not everyone knows about. Meanwhile, the truth about Sebastian is still on the table as Kenzie desperately tries to discover that secret too.

(A/N: I want it to be noted that this not, I repeat NOT a remake or copy of the actual Legacies season 2 episode 6, "It Will All Be Painfully Clear Soon Enough" This story / chapter is inspired and based around that episode, but is not a remake of the episode. I promise! Thank you and enjoy the read :) )

*

The day after a school dance is kind of weird to get used to because it's the exciting thing that everyone had gotten ready for at the beginning of the start of the school year and now that it's over, what do we have to get excited for now?

I hope something soon. I found myself walking out of my bedroom dorm with Lizzie as we were walking to our classes for the day.

The atmosphere was filled with other students chit chatting with each other as they walked to their classes too. Lizzie and I are walking down the school's staircase and are now on the main floor of the school/ main lobby.

"I still don't know or understand what happened with that strange encounter with Sebastain last night, nor why it happened. Was it his way of showing me that he's secretly dangerous or not being truthful with me? I can't put my finger on it, Liz" I explained to my best friend how I was feeling about what happened last night after the school dance with Sebastain.

Lizzie looked at me and smirked. "No, yeah that was super fishy what he did. But I say, don't worry about it, Kenz. I'm sure it was just a move he wanted to do to show you how bad he used to be. Besides, I thought you liked bad boys." Lizzie said jokingly as she lightly pushed my shoulder.

I giggled at her and started blushing a little. I nodded my head in agreement after what she said and the two of us proceeded to walk to our classes.

*

Surprisingly, the school day came and went and now it's the evening and I'm walking back to my bedroom dorm and saw both of my twin sisters.

It seemed like they were talking about something and when they saw me, I paused as I walked into the room, just stepping through the door frame.

They looked over at me and Lizzie walked over to me with a worried look on her face. "Kenzie. Something bad is happening. MG and Kaleb are out right now trying to set a trap for Sebastian" I widened my eyes and was shocked.

Why would my two close friends go out and do that to the person who I want to be my boyfriend? That's so mean.

Not fair at all.

I was going to say something in response but Joise began to talk again. "We don't know why they decided to do that, sis. MG and Kaleb seemed to be in a rush when they told Lizzie and I,and we couldn't stop them. I'm so sorry, Kenzie."

Josie was on one side of my shoulder and Lizzie was on my other shoulder and they both came in and hugged me which I accepted and started to think of an idea.

"It's okay you guys. I promise. It'll be good. I just have the plan to do it" I said to them as I broke the hug and grabbed a few things that I needed for my nightly outing, things to keep me safe just in case because you never know.

Lizzie and Josie were confused as to what I was doing. "Kenz? What are you doing?" Josie asked curiously.

I looked at her as I placed the strap of my bag on my shoulder and gripped onto it. "To stop MG and Kaleb from hurting my potential future boyfriend."

Lizzie widened her eyes and tried to stop me by gently placing her hand on my shoulder. "Kenzie, I don't think you should do that. It's way too dangerous. Maybe you shouldn't. I'm sure Sebastain will be okay."

"I one hundred percent agree with everything that our other twin sister said, Lizzie's right" Josie chimed in and I started to get frustrated.

I shook my head and looked down at the ground and placed my hands on my temples for a second and then looked back up at my twin sisters.

"And what if Sebastian's not okay after what MG and Kaleb might do to him? I don't want to risk it. I'm doing this to save and protect him and I'm also doing it for love and to protect our love too. Something I know you both would save, especially you Liz!" I softly smiled at her and then turned around to face the opened door and walked out of the bedroom and quickly ran out of the Salvatore school and into the woods where both MG and Kaleb were headed, thanks to the trusty vampire hearing I have. That's how I was able to track those two.

Don't worry, Seb! You're safe I promise.

*

It was now close to being dark outside and it made it even creepier while about to enter the woods. The sky was a dark blue mixed with black color and soft street lights echoed on top of the creepy forest a little bit which kind of helped make it less scary but still it was a forest and they are always scary.

Anyways, I continued to sneakily follow behind MG and Kaleb and try to put a stop to what they're doing. Apparently, Kaleb's sister, Kym was in town for the week and wanted to help with her older brother and MG's plan on catching Sebastian.

She was the bait in their little experiment. She had this old fashioned dress that had a hood attached to it, making it look like she was little red riding hood. I hid off to the side a little as I watched Kym walk forward a little bit and low and behold Sebastain was quick to notice her and quickly walked at a fast pace behind her, almost as if he was going to feed off of her.

Seb no! Don't!!!

The closer he got to Kym, he became more and more of a dangerous vampire. His breathing quickened as his eyes glowed from the red bloody effects that appeared in his eyes and face and quickly right after that his fangs appeared.

His pace quickened and he growled softly when he got even closer to Kym. She still hadn't noticed that Sebastian was on her heels only until she turned around at the last second when Sebastian was about to dive right in and bite her.

Without warning, Kym sprayed Sebastian with some sort of spray and I could tell it hurt after hearing his reaction. I widened my eyes and gasped after seeing what just happened.

I started to get up from my crouching position but didn't want to blow my cover just yet. I continued to watch.

Sebastian on the other hand, groaned from the pain and covered his eyes with his hand as he stepped away from Kym a little.

"Oh, my eyes! What is this sorcery?"

Kym smirked as she watched what just happened to Sebastian. She was quick to respond.

"It's something like pepper spray, I think"

Sebastian kept groaning and I wanted to run in and save the day but I still didn't see both MG or Kaleb and I'm sure they were close.

Kym smiled more. "It's cool right?" She asked Sebastian but he didn't pay attention to her because he was almost blinded so no, Kym!

Not cool at all!!!

*

Just then, out of nowhere MG and Kaleb came storming in at vamp speed and were able to attack Sebastian while he was down/ distracted.

The two quickly pushed him into a tree and held him as their hostage. Sebastian tried to fight back by pushing MG away from him as Kaleb was still holding his other arm, trying to keep Sebastain from escaping.

All of a sudden, MG was able to push Sebastian back into the tree again and looked back at Kym who was still watching from afar as Kaleb kept his eyes on Sebastian, making sure he didn't try and escape again.

"You did great, Kym!" After hearing that, Kym smiled at MG and bowed quickly. That's when I decided that it was time for me to crash this little experiment.

"See! I told you this would work!" MG said to Kaleb as the two looked at each other. I used my vamp speed and whooshed right in next to Kym.

"What would work, MG?" I asked as I crept in. Kym turned to the side and gasped when she saw me. MG was quick to turn around and faced me as soon as I entered.

"Kenzie? What are you doing here?" To my surprise, it looked like Sebastian was happy to see me because he seemed a little bit more calm after I arrived at the scene.

My heart was racing super fast and I could feel the blushing coming along but I couldn't get distracted now. I set my focus on MG and answered his question.

"Stopping you three from hurting or potentially killing Sebastian. He did nothing wrong, you guys. You better let him go before I really have to start getting aggressive". MG shook his head in disagreement to what I said and continued to hold Sebastian, along with Kaleb.

Kym took a couple steps over to me. She told me that her brother and MG were trying to reer Sebastian into their trick to capture him and to fully see if he's lying or telling the truth about not being a dangerous vampire anymore.

Wow! Really MG? Really Kaleb? What is with everyone not trusting Sebastian and not believing him except me? I widened my eyes and became mad at my two supernatural friends. I couldn't believe that they would do such a thing like that to me.

I was going to say something but my ears were drawn to Sebastian as he began to talk more to MG and Kaleb. "Unhand me, you turnips. I only had one drink." His voice was filled with anger, and annoyance.

I also must admit that Sebastain does have one groovy and hot raspy voice when he's upset. Wait what? Oh my gosh not me getting distracted! Oopsies.

"Yeah, I bet you did. We just so happen to know that the drink's name was Wade." Kaleb fired back to Sebastian as he continued to hold on to him more, not letting him escape. MG nodded his head in agreement and I walked closer to the three, mainly to step closer to Sebastian.

"I did not even kill your precious Wayne you speak of. Now unhand me before I..." I had to interrupt Sebastian. I know, I know and I'm sorry.

"Wait! You didn't kill Wade, Sebastian?" I asked curiously as I saw MG and Kaleb turn their heads around to face me still while keeping Sebastain hostage.

Sebastian relaxed when he heard my voice and shook his head no.

"Okay. If you didn't kill him, then can you explain what you were doing sneaking around the party hall last night? Remember our little encounter?" I asked in a soft tone and raised my eyebrow in a curious way.

Sebastian smirked at me when he saw the look of curiosity on face. Cue the blushing again haha! Sebastian was going to explain but Kaleb rudely knocked him out by aggressively snapping his head, causing Sebastian to fall to the floor. I widened my eyes and gasped after seeing what just happened.

"Oh my gosh! Kaleb?! Why the heck did you just do that?" I snapped at Kaleb for a moment. He didn't seem fazed or bothered by my question.

*

After watching and letting Sebastian fall to the ground, both MG and Kaleb turned around and faced Kym and I.

Kym was also confused why her brother and MG did that to Sebastian. Kaleb wiped his hands a few times while shaking his head. He then looked over at MG.

"Go grab Sebastian and take him to Dr. Saltzman's office. It's usually pretty empty at night so no one should be there when he wakes up." I immediately ran over to where Sebastian was and knelt down to him as I gently rested my hand on his upper arm and tried to see if he was still awake or not.

He was just knocked out and still alive, thank goodness. I then turned my attention back to MG and Kaleb while still kneeling down by Sebastian.

"And by you, you mean me. I'll take Sebastian back to my father's office. I have easy access considering I'm one of my dad's daughters. You can help me carry him of course". Kym smiled softly at me and agreed to help me.

Surprisingly, MG and Kaleb were also on board and agreed to help me carry Sebastian. I think I scared them and hey it's all good because that's my speciality tee hee :) :)

*

When the four of us made it safely to my father's office back at the school while carrying Sebastian, MG and Kaleb tied him up with metal handcuff chains around his hands while still being out from what Kaleb did to him earlier, keeping him from doing anything suspicious or dangerous.

I didn't understand why they did that but they just insisted on doing that, must have still been scared that Sebastian's dangerous when he's clearly not. I shook my head and told them that I would be right back.

I walked out of my father's office and into the hallway where I was greeted by Hope, Lizzie, and Landon. They somehow found out about what was going on with Sebastian and everyone and wanted to know more.

I told them that Sebastian's in my dad's office and that I'll be right back, I needed to grab something from the kitchen. They agreed and went inside the office and waited for me to come back.

Okay, don't judge! I went into the kitchen because I was hungry and wanted to eat something, so I made myself a sandwich and when I was done making it, I turned around to leave the kitchen and head back to where Sebastian and everyone else were and out of nowhere this black shadow figure appeared and was revealed to be a monster.

This monster wore an all black ensemble with a black top hat and cape. He also had a tree-like face with a pointed and curved nose and his eyes were darker than the sky at night. It was really weird and creepy. I widened my eyes and backed up a little after seeing the monster in front of me.

"Oh crap!" I said out loud and continued to stay still and before I knew it the monster made a snarling noise and grabbed me by the neck with its hand and slowly pulled me forward as it's arm turned into slime.

I couldn't help myself but to scream, hoping someone would hear me. Out of nowhere, I heard a stabbing/ slicing noise and saw that the monster's arm was in two pieces. I quickly looked over and saw that it was Josie.

I smiled at her and then grabbed onto my neck for a minute, trying to let myself breathe again and then quickly ran out of the room with Josie holding my hand. The two of us quickly ran back into our dad's office and slammed the door closed and locked it, causing everyone to look at us and to even wake Sebastian up.

Josie and I still guarded the door and Lizzie quickly ran over to the two of us.

*

"Are you two okay? What's going on?" She asked and I looked at her worried eyes. I told her that a monster is on the loose again and for some reason it's after me and I have no idea why.

Hope came over and pointed to a black candle that she lit and explained that it's used to protect us from the monsters. I thought that was a huge relief and started to relax.

Joise and I moved away from the door and sat down in the chairs again in our dad's office. Of course, I sat down in my dad's chair again so I could be closer to Sebsatian.

"We need to figure out why the monster is coming after you, Kenzie!" Hope said and we all started looking in a bunch of books for possible answers.

MG and Kym were looking through a book together and I noticed that MG was vamp speed reading and Kym got super into that.

After talking about how cool being a vampire is, they somehow found out what the name of the monster is. Me, Lizzie, Josie, Hope, Kaleb and Landon gathered around both MG and Kym and looked at the book that they were looking in and explained that apparently the monster's called a Croatoan and it hunts people keeping secrets.

What secret do I have? The only one isn't even a secret at all and that's me wanting to make it official with Sebastian.

Everyone should know that by now. It was also revealed by Kym that this croatan can be summoned by powerful witches. I may be a witch and vampire but I'm not that powerful. Who could have summoned this?

"The witch's name was Cassandra. I would love to tell you all more about her, my dear turnips, only if you agree to let me go from these chains." Sebastian spoke softly as he woke and looked over at me and the others.

I smiled softly at him as Lizzie and Josie giggled after hearing Sebastian call them turnips. "Hey! For the last time we're not vegetables." MG said in annoyance.

I gently placed my hand on MG's shoulder and he turned his head to me. "Don't mind him, it's okay. And I think we should listen to him."

MG rolled his eyes and took a deep breath and then agreed to go with Sebastian's plan. That made me really happy.

Sebastian explained that Cassandra was out to find who was killing everyone in the village where Sebastian and her lived in many decades ago, making it hunt those who were/ are keeping secrets.

Hence why it's after me now. Just peachy!

"That's not good! How are we going to kill it? I'm sure it won't help that Cassandra's dead and won't be able to get rid of it. She's the only one who summoned it, which means she's the only one who can destroy it." I panicked a little but remained as calm as I could.

"I don't understand why I can't remember more. I vividly remember being deeply in love with Cassandra. Had she known that it was me who was attacking the townspeople, I believe she would have done things differently." Sebastian explained even more.

I looked at him, listening to everything that he was saying, along with everyone else in the room too. MG couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Maybe you should have been honest with your lady, instead of hiding from her and acting like another version of Dracula." I looked back at MG and rolled my eyes at him while shaking my head in annoyance.

*

Just then, Sebastian used his vamp speed and got super close to MG but this version of Sebastian was different. His eyes and face had a bloody effect in his eyes and face and his fangs shot out.

The clanging noise that the chains made after Sebastian shot up made me jump a little, as did everyone too. Lizzie comforted me by resting her hand on my shoulder for a second as we listened and watched the encounter between MG and Sebastian.

"A lesson in being honest about a woman one fancies is not what I had in mind, especially coming from you, Milton. I don't need to take lessons from you." I used my vamp speed to get in the middle between the two young men and try and separate them before something bad could happen.

MG stepped back as I walked Sebastain back to where he was."Are you okay, Seb? What was that about?" I whispered to him and I heard MG apologize which made me and Sebastian look back at him and Sebastian silently shook his head and apologized too.

"Why don't we try a mind spell to try and retrieve your memory of all this, Seb?" Everyone agreed on trying that and I then proceeded to gently place my hand on Sebstian's arm by kneeling down next to him and did a spell which made my hand and the area around him turn a glowing red.

Sebastian closed his eyes as I did the spell and I could feel everyone else in the room carefully watching me. A few minutes later, I finished the spell and waited for a response from Sebastian.

Lizzie walked over to me and kneeled down next to me after I finished the spell and smiled softly at me. "Are you okay, Kenzie?" I smiled back at her and nodded my head.

"Yeah, I think so. I'm not sure if the spell I did worked or not." My best friend was about to say something but then Sebastian opened his eyes and began to talk. Hearing his voice, I whipped my head around to face him, and listen to him tell the rest of his experience.

"I remember now. I am now able to see the whole story. Cassandra was the last lover that I had and she wanted to protect me from everything. When she found out who was attacking the townspeople, she summoned something far worse, something that would seek out and find those keeping lies in the town, keeping them from finding me. I know she loved me though."

"Which caused the Croatoan to go ham. Wiped everyone out." Kym chimed in with a soft tone of voice. Sebastian nodded his head and continued talking.

"Yes, that's right. After I found out what Cassandra was plotting, I tried to stop her. By this time I knew that she was keeping my secret. I was afraid that she'd become a target. So, she put me into a deep sleep. To keep me safe. By this time, all I could do was watch her get attacked by the Croatoan and unable to help her as I watched her die right in front of me."Sebastian concluded as I watched a tear drop fall from his face.

I couldn't believe everything that he told us. It was heartbreaking and it broke my heart seeing him tear up like that. I gently wiped away his tears as he relaxed in my hand/ at my touch.

"I am so sorry that happened, Seb. You didn't deserve that and I promise that won't ever happen again." I spoke softly to him as I started to tear up.

Lizzie and then Josie both comforted me by hugging me from my shoulders as Sebastian wiped away my tears too, which made me feel a lot calmer.

"This necklace was Cassandra's. Mackenzie, I want you to wear it so you have protection from whatever comes your way and that the same fate doesn't fall upon you. Please, Mackenzie?" Sebastian took off this necklace that he wore around his neck and handed it to me.

I looked at it for a moment as did everyone else in the room and then I looked at Sebastian and nodded my head and put the necklace on.

A sigh of relief could be heard from him as the two of us shared a hug which led into a big group hug from everyone else in the room.

*

Lizzie, Hope, and I traveled to the school's gym for whatever reason, I don't really know. Maybe to hide from the Crotaton that's still on the loose.

Which meant that Josie, Landon, MG, Kym, Kaleb, and Sebastian stayed right where they were in my dad's office.

"What do you mean Josie has a crush on Landon too, Lizzie?" Hope questioned as Lizzie chuckled to herself.

"Oh, relax. I'm sure it's a little crush. Besides, she'll fall out of it soon I'm sure. And it's not like I'm going to tell him or anything." The two stopped walking to face each other and Lizzie then turned around to face me and I put my finger to my mouth and walked to the gym doors and whispered to them.

"Will you two please quiet down! There's still a monster on the loose, remember?"As I continued to close the doors, all of a sudden this arm appeared on the door, causing me to scream a bit and run away towards the door and to my best friend and Hope.

The two of them gasped and Lizzie wrapped her around me as protection. "Uhm, nevermind. You two be as loud as you want because we are so screwed right now!"

The monster opened the gym doors and it was revealed to be the Croatoan. He stood tall and showed dominance while standing in front of the doors, blocking the entrance.

"It feeds on secrets, right? So let me have all of them right here, right now." Hope confidently said which made Lizzie chuckle to herself.

"I prefer to save my own dignity and not die without it." I raised my eyebrow and then furrowed my eyebrows after hearing what she said and then looked over at Hope.

"Okay, fine. I'll start." Hope mentioned as the three of us started to walk backwards into the gym as the Croatoan followed us inside.

"Lizzie, I stole your precious pink butterfly clip when we were kids."

My best friend gasped. "I loved that clip, Hope!"

"Also, for about a week, I had a crush on Josie when we were 14." Hope also mentioned. Hearing that was new news to me. Lizzie was quick to respond while having annoyance in her voice.

"Oh my gosh, can you already tell that the two of you are never happening? Give that one up, Hope" The two of them got distracted bickering with each other that it took them to bump into one of the gym equipment things to have them snap out of it and focus on right now.

The three of us looked around at each other and then back to the Croatoan. "Uhm, Liz, Hope? Focus." I snapped my fingers softly at them.

The Croatoan was getting closer to us and it was Lizzie's turn to spill her beans. "Okay, uhm. I siphoned you to cheat on your finals, I accidentally turned your pet hamster invisible..." Hope widened her eyes and questioned everything that Lizzie said.

I was surprised to hear all of those things too. "And I actually think you're cool, Hope!" Lizzie admitted with pain in her voice.

Just then, the Croatoan moved his cape out of the way and showed the eating trap that was his stomach which had these big long octopus arms at the ends and what looked like jaws.

As this was happening, the Croatoan made a screeching noise and continued to get closer to us. I widened my eyes.

"I don't think it's working you guys. It's not going to stop until it knows the truth, the secret that I've been keeping: That I have a crush on Sebastian and that I want to be with him." I admittedly said out loud.

Hope then asked to see the necklace that Sebastian gave me and I nodded my head and took it off my neck and handed it to her. She held it out infront of her in her hands, blocking the Croatoan to get any closer and proceeded to do a spell with the necklace.

"Finis habentis maleificia." and within a blink of an eye, the Croatoan died and was never to be seen again. Watching the monster die took a weight off of my shoulders. I hugged Hope as she hugged me back.

"Thank you, Hope! I couldn't have said my secret if it wasn't without you and my family." I said while looking at Lizzie too. The three of us shared a group hug and then went back to see everyone back in Lizzie's and I's dad's office.

We caught everyone up to date on what happened and told them the Croatoan was gone for good.

*

Later that night, Lizzie, MG, and I met up in the gym from earlier. The lights were off but it was still bright enough to see everyone who was in the room. We were just chit chatting about different stuff.

"Well, now that the Croatoan is gone, that must mean that we're okay and safe."I mentioned as I smiled softly at Lizzie and MG. They nodded their heads.

" For now at least. There's probably going to be another monster here but until then I think we're okay." Lizzie added as both me and MG agreed with her.

"This means no more secrets, right you two?" I asked and then felt my heart flutter and my face heat up from the blushing that appeared on my face.

"That sounds pretty reasonable to me, Mackenzie," Sebastian said confidently as I gave my full attention to him, as did MG and Lizzie.

I then began to panic a little bit. I widened my eyes a little and covered my mouth with my hand. "Oh my gosh! Am I having another episode or am I actually seeing Sebastian for good this time?"

You see, for some reason my mind thought it would be a good idea to play a trick on me and make me question everything I knew about Sebastian. Even though I know that Sebastian is real.

Remember everything that happened earlier and yesterday? Lizzie gently held my hand and MG got up from where he was sitting, and stood next to Sebastian.

I raised my eyebrow at him. "Wait, you can actually and fully see him, MG?" I asked and MG nodded his head in agreement.

"Everyone can see him, Kenzie. There's something I need to tell you." I looked at him and nodded.

"Go ahead, MG. Tell your tale. I'm listening." I encouraged him to tell me as Lizzie and Sebastian both listened to what MG was going to tell me.

I had no idea what to expect from him. What was he going to tell me? My mind desperately needed those questions.

"Okay, the truth is, all this time I made it look like you were having a psychotic break and pretended that Sebastian wasn't real when he has always been real this entire time. I did it to protect you because I wasn't sure what effect Sebastian would have on you and I didn't want you to be in any danger whatsoever. I am so sorry, Kenzie." MG concluded as he looked down at the floor and then back to me.

Hearing everything that MG said made me feel a whole bunch of emotions. Endless cycle of thoughts ran through my mind, processing everything that I was hearing.

This was going to be a long rest of my evening. This adventure is not over yet.

Strap yourself in and prepare yourself for what's next.

-End of episode story 5 :) 

I’m absolutely loving how I wrote this and also really proud of my writing with this and honestly it was really fun to write and I hope you all enjoy it. I’ll see you in the next one :) 

#Legacies #legacies fanfiction #sebastian legacies #sizzie #lizzie saltzman #hope mikaelson #thomas doherty

[linernotesandseasons]

My 23 Favorite Albums of 2023

Well… It’s 2024! Here we are. Here are my 23 favorite albums from 2023. Here is a lot of rambly, super personal & emotional writing about why & how I love every one of these albums. 2023 was a harder year personally, so a lot of these albums (and especially my writing about them) leans heavier & sadder, but I’ll try to explain the brightness in my writing. I have been making this end of the year favorites list every year since 2012, so this is the 13th annual! Every year I fall deeper in love with music. 2023 marked my first full year working in marketing for music venues full time. 2023 also marked my first full year of being single since like 2001. So like, since when I was in my early teens! Over 20 years ago! Lots of growth and lots of change. I went to 162 live shows this year! 162! I saw over half of these artists live in 2023! These albums were all life saving & life giving to me, in ways that I am still coming to understand. Thanks to my friends for reading, and to all the artists for creating, I won’t forget any of these albums. Without further ado, in no particular order (unless you know the English alphabet) here are my 23 (or 30-I actually included one bonus album-cuz The National released two albums-and 6 bonus EPs!) favorite albums of 2023!

2023 Favorites Playlist

AMERICAN TRAPPIST   /   Poison Reverse

In 2023, I took countless walks through my beloved Cheesman Park here in Denver, CO. I walked at sunrise, at sunset, in summer afternoons & on winter nights. On many of those walks I cried, and on some I listened to music. Most of the albums on this list were companions on my Cheesman Park walks at some point during the year. One of my deepest companions was the new album Poison Reverse from one of my all-time favorite bands American Trappist. The songs on this album contain hard, deep, inspiring truths & they have helped me immensely on the early steps of my personal journey to believing that things can get better. I spent a lot of conversations with friends new & old talking about how fucked the world is and if we believed things could get better. That idea, both personally for myself (and big picture for the world) was at the heart of much of my brain gardening over the last year. Do I truly believe that I can get better? And do I truly believe the world can get better? I’ll come back to this idea a few times across the next 23 albums, but first, let's do a shallow deep dive into why Poison Reverse & American Trappist mean so much to me!

It feels comforting to start this list with this album. Out of the 12 years I’ve been making this list, this is the 5th (!) time I’ve written about a Joe Michelini album! Michelini fronted New Jersey folk-punk rockers River CIty Extension during the peak of the stomp clap folk revival in the early-mid aughts. At times an 8 piece mini-orchestra, RCE released two of my fav records of all time with 2010’s The Unmistakable Man and 2012’s Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Your Anger, both of which are regrettably not on spotify anymore. When they broke up in 2015, Michelini began releasing music under the American Trappist moniker and has since released four of my favorite albums of the last eight years! I called 2016’s American Trappist “angsty & heartfelt, religious & romantic!” 2018’s Tentanda Via “Springsteen-y boardwalk rock & roll!” and 2020’s The Gate “a goddamn dark, noisy masterpiece!” You can also read about the handmade, super personal Anthology Mixtape I made for myself during early Covid 2020, and the New Red Shoelaces Mixtape I traded Joe for an advance copy of The Gate! Safe to say, I have a long, growing & evolving history with these songs, but let’s talk about Poison Reverse!

Album opener “Split Horizon” brings back all the early 2000s indie vibes, a brooding acoustic riff and 2.5 minutes of Michelini quietly intention setting “Far from the edge I’m lost, taking my necklace off / making a pact with loss to never be whole / closer to death again, willing myself back in, begging for punishment / & I wanna grow old someday, giving myself away / I won’t make the same mistakes back on the ground.” From there “Seg Fault” explodes into an epic Michelini guitar solo at 1:55 and wakes up some demons. From the psychobilly punk of ”What Did You Wish For” to the raucous, queer energy of “Lipstick” it’s apparent that this is another American Trappist classic. In their journey to finding themselves, Michelini has dealt with things as a queer, non-binary artist that I have not dealt with. Their writing explores those things fragilely, gently & majestically on Poison Reverse. Michelini opens up not only their deeper thoughts & emotions but also their physicality; unafraid to examine their physical body, its growth, its changes, what remains & what fades. This is a landmark album in their discography. A lighthouse, a beacon, a “weird, little candle.” Album centerpiece, obvious personal favorite, and song of the year contender “Temple Song'' is the flame & heartbeat. Michelini talked about this song on its release explaining “I will say by some cosmic arrangement beyond my understanding, from time to time, I have been guided to a little light, and in the best of times have possessed that light & protected that light. Let me share that with you now: a weird, little candle that won’t burn forever, but maybe enough to serve as a reminder until the next time you find rest.”

These are songs about finding yourself. About how to care for past wounds and move forward. About trying to know the truest, deepest, best version of you. About how to allow growth & change to take you in new directions. These are songs you can sing back in the mirror when you’re scared of what’s coming and you doubt your purpose. Poison Reverse is unsure of the future, but sure of the strategies and work required to get there. When Michelini was asked about the meaning of the breathtaking cover art (and album in general) they explained “To me, it is new growth in the darkness. It is dawn. It is hope… A few years ago my therapist asked me what I would have to say to my younger self and I was crying so much in the session that I couldn’t respond, but when I sat down to think about it later and drafted an e-mail to her, I wrote: ‘If you don’t believe in the potential for things to get better, nothing that comes next will be worth it.’”

“I’m still alive and I wanna dive in / It’s not enough surviving, I wanna break the spell / I’m gonna kiss the memory in the darkest part of me / I’m gonna leave the light on for everybody else…”

*

ANGIE MCMAHON   /   Light, Dark, Light Again

There is a point about halfway through Angie McMahon’s once-in-a-lifetime, masterpiece sophomore album, in the driving “Divine Fault Line” where she lifts up her head and sings directly at me over a steady guitar strum “I’m learning to love my skin, I’m learning to dive right in” she encourages me as if she knows exactly what I’m afraid to hear. “I think it’s time to sweep the eggshells clean” she continues, as I’m doing the dishes, or meal prepping in my kitchen, or cleaning my bathroom, and I cock my head and listen (like really listen) “I’m starting to dance again” Angie sings with an increasing carefree confidence “I’m using my hands again” In these 35 seconds I can see the sunrise. I can feel the Spring coming. I believe that I can change. That these days or weeks or months or years of darkness will pass. That when you’re “all fucked up and wanting to die” that maybe God is just a divine fault line and that “when you got no water left in the well” maybe that’s just “the place where breaking out begins.” 

Angie McMahon’s lyrics are my favorite of the year. If you asked me to pick my personal favorite album of the year, I would say Light, Dark, Light Again. In fact “Divine Fault Line’ is literally like my 7th favorite song on this album! There are at least five songs on Light that are contenders for my song of the year. Lyric snippets worthy of tattoos & late-night prayers, lines that I will return to until the day I die. 

Opening track “Saturn Returning” finds McMahon singing (as she sings many of her songs here) hair down, staring into a mirror, face to face with herself, with her growth, her survival, her story. The same way that I often chose to listen to this album in 2023. Staring in my own mirror, facing myself, my growth, my survival, my story. What begins as a simple, repeating piano riff, quickly swells to a swirling epic ballad, McMahon spitting one liners like “I’m gonna dance everyday till I’m old” and “I’m gonna love every inch of this body, the limbs that are writing each day of this story” and finally “i just wanna be wide awake when I’m 40” Holy fucking shit Angie. “Saturn” is over as quickly as it begins, surrendering its keys to the universe, 2 minutes and 44 seconds of a storm rushing through, setting the tone for an album that is as emotionally challenging as it is inspiring. These are songs about growing up, songs about youthful drunk kisses, feeling caught in older, more constraining relationships, songs exploring the real shit. Secret personal fav “Exploding” rides another steady, explosive guitar to a burning outro, singing along with McMahon wailing “I hope I am always exploding!” If good songwriting is about making up words and rhymes, then “supernoving” is a gamechanger. This collection of songs also happens to be brought to life by some of my favorite musicians and producers. Brad Cook is probably my all time favorite producer, and it’s hard not to listen to the enchanting “Staying Down Low” without hearing Canadian super-sad-star Leif Vollebekk (see ya in 2024 Leif?!) and not think of his & Angie’s whistling, duet version of her “If You Call” that soundtracked so many of my Summer nights in 2021 & 22. For all the aching, end-of-the-world emptiness on Light, there are friends, familiar faces & familiar voices. 

There are two songs on Light that I especially, deeply, deeply love, songs that will stay with me for a long time; so I want to close by talking about sister songs “Letting Go” and “Making It Through.” The twin mission statements of Light, one an uptempo, driving indie rocker; one a swirling, piano, power-emo ballad. “Letting Go” paints a picture of a dark time (“six months lying on my living room floor / sick, then well, then sick some more”) but it speaks of the growth that happens in those times (“I might be prouder of me than I ever have been”) and the catch, the hardest thing for those of us like me & Angie… The power of letting go. How to do it “without my claws scratching the surfaces.” When Angie finally repeats the closing line over & over, louder & louder, increasingly more violent & unhinged at the end of the song, it always feels like she is holding me by the shoulders and shaking me, looking me directly in my face and admonishing me “It’s OK, it’s OK, make mistakes… MAKE MISTAKES!” In a year of making mistakes, letting go, feeling my claws scratching the surfaces, and wasting time; what a comfort to talk to someone about “closing some doors, hoping to open more down the line.” This song is a force, and an all time, lifetime fucking favorite. 

Finally, at the end of the record, lies the secret to all of this. The hope, the story, the thing that gets you up out of bed. The first time I heard a snippet of this song, back in October, 10 days before the album came out, Angie posted a quick video of her playing it on a little keyboard saying it contained the mantra that made it all make sense… light, dark, light again. I remember watching tentatively and then dropping my phone almost instantly, sobbing on my bed, thinking of everyone I love, thinking of my place in the world, thinking of how to love better, how to be better… how to survive. How to make it through. There will be years for fighting, there will be years for making a difference. This year for me, was about just making it through. So I kneel late at night and early every morning, waking up with a view of the moon, and I say the same prayer that Angie sings as the album closes “Time is supposed to run out. Sun is supposed to go down. Like your mood, like your power, like your battery. Rise, fall, rise. Life, death, life again. Sky, ground, sky. Day, night, day again. Light, dark, light again. Light, dark, light again…” Thank you for this album Angie. I truly, truly love it. Light, dark… Light again.

“& when I grow up, I wanna be like a tree / & change with the seasons, helping people breathe / but all I’ve achieved lately / is making it through / just making it through… / I froze on the spot where you left me / to hold everything still worth protecting / I know now at the end of the ending / that just making it through is the lesson / just making it through…”

*

BECCA MANCARI   /   Left Hand

There is a centerpiece lyrical idea running like a river through Becca Mancari’s magically enchanting third album Left Hand. Stated most simply on the magnificent “Don’t Close Your Eyes” Becca pleads with us “Don’t close your eyes. Are you ready? Only get one life. Wake up, it’s right here. Are you ready?” When you dig deep into most of the albums on this list honestly, that idea is running underneath all of my favorite writing. It is the idea of life & love. How, in order to live your truest, best life, you need to do the inner work to love yourself. The work that Becca is describing is very specific to the queer experience, and Left Hand is full of songs about coming out, and being true to yourself. It is glowingly apparent that Becca has done & is doing that life-changing work, and encouraging us all (queer or not) to do the same. You can hear it on the desperate title track, a statement “Wake up. Love yourself. Be honest.” and a plea “I want to live. I want you to live too.” Or in the epic, swirling album closer “To Love The Earth” where they quietly & defiantly declare “I wanna live right here, right now. Wanna let go of the past.” Clearly these thoughts are too important to ignore, and Becca strikes me as the kind of friend who skips small talk for the real, important shit. 

Speaking of friends, Left Hand is an album made with friends & for friends! In the midst of their “love yourself” work, Becca chose to co-produce and play the album with their good friends. Becca plays many of the instruments (guitar, synth, bass, drums, vibraphone, OP-1 & piano!) and recruits friends to give the album a cohesive, brooding, indie pop-rock authenticity. Masterfully crafted instrumentals, calming drum machines, layered synths, cascading chimes, commanded by Becca’s singular voice, at times shallow & quiet, growing strong & urgent, leading the songs through rises & falls. The Brittany Howard assisted groovy opener “Don’t Worry” is a powerful love song to & for their queer community. Becca encourages & pushes a friend or a lover to “Give me all you got, I can handle it.” They see them slipping, running out of time; but they’re not leaving “Go & take your time, I’ll be right here” Becca comforts. Then louder, more final “Don’t even worry, I’ve got you.” From there, “Homesick Honeybee” opens with fluttering synths and the sweetest voicemail message from Becca’s grandfather. The song builds on itself until closing with stabs of roaring, grungy guitar. Radio single “Over and Over” is a huge queer pop anthem. The earworm chorus sticky & sweet “There is something to the feeling, head hanging out of the window, being ok that we don’t know / & we can have it like we used to, over & over & over & over again / we were invincible, do you remember that feeling?...” While much of Left Hand rides similar uplifting pop vibes, the moodier, darker moments are some of the most powerful. Ultimately (as with all the albums on this years’ list) it is Becca’s writing that cements Left Hand as a coming-of-age classic, lines of poetry that I will surely recite to myself for years & years to come.

We were lucky enough to host Becca at Lost Lake (one of the venues I work for!) on Halloween night. It was that night, celebrating these songs with Becca live, that I finally, fully realized how special they are. Becca’s presence is warm & energetic, like an old friend, and I felt deeply how real & important these songs are to them. How in Becca’s openness to share pieces of themself, their work and their journey, they are encouraging me to do the same. Through the gifts of sharing & listening, I know Becca deeper, feel the things they care about, and am inspired by their courage & vision. I cry often at live music, usually in a cathartic, very good kind of way haha, and all I could think on Halloween night was how special this bond is. How lucky I am to get to know people through songs, and how grateful I am for people like Becca sharing themselves. Being true, being good, working hard, digging deep, being strong. The encouragement & empowerment I feel after listening to Left Hand, is similar to what I get from talking to my best friends. I feel motivated to keep doing the hard work. To keep trying to better love myself and be the best version of myself. Left Hand is the sort of masterpiece that I will return to when I need that encouragement. To check in with Becca and their songs and to catch up. Left Hand is a career defining record for an artist on the verge of breaking out. Left Hand is also one of my new best friends. 

“We’re here and then we’re just not, what a magical thing…”

*

BLACK BELT EAGLE SCOUT   /   The Land, The Water, The Sky

The songs on Black Belt Eagle Scout’s third album, the perfectly titled The Land, The Water, The Sky, echo back screams from the planet she sings so passionately about. Screams of beauty, rage, agony, destruction, despair, magnificence, majesty, peace & power. When I wrote about the first two Black Belt Eagle Scout albums, 2018’s Mother of My Children and 2019’s At the Party With My Brown Friends, I talked about Katherine Paul’s incredible writing & playing, about how those albums made for such great driving music (a very important genre in my own head!) but also how culturally important those albums were in their time & place. How important it is for us to listen to (and heed the warnings) of queer, indigenous songwriting. The Land, The Water, The Sky is no different. A searing statement on the scary state of our planet, yet filled with tender explorations of Paul’s mental health & familial bonds. Paul is equally skilled writing cinematic, widescreen, sprawling epics about the vastness of the earth and its many mysteries, or small, gentle tales about how to take care of yourself. How to quiet your mind. How to love yourself. For my money, she is also the best guitarist in rock & roll right now.  

Musically, The Land wastes no time, opening track and song-of-the-year contender “My Blood Runs Through This Land” squalls from 0:01 into a monstrous guitar wall that builds and burns behind delicately measured vocals, an absolute showstopper of grungy, shoegaze-y, post rock, with a solo that could cause a rockslide. As with their first two albums, Paul plays all the guitar AND drums (while also adding keys, mellotron, vibraphone, omnichord & organ!) and (as with Becca Mancari -see above!) co-produces. She brings in collaborators for understated, orchestral strings, PNW legend Phil Elverum of Mount Eerie & The Microphones fame, and her parents even sing on the gorgeous “Spaces.” This album SOUNDS HUGE! Like an avalanche, like a thunderstorm, like a wildfire. Paul’s writing has always had an environmental bent, the kind of detail-oriented, time & place writing that makes a good listener actually feel why the protection of the land is important to her. It is the way I feel when I’m in wild places, when I force my racing thoughts to be quiet, when I listen to the trees & the wind & the hills & the animals. A joined chorus of anguish, an upwelling of desire to remain. To stay safely untouched, to continue through time as always, steadfast & serene, changing only with the seasons. How could something in such distress remain so peaceful? 

Although Paul is very deeply connected to their native PNW, I can hear in these songs all the places I love and have spent time in, as well as majestic, mysterious places that I watch on National Geographic & Planet Earth, ones that I can only hope to see someday. From my beloved creeks careening & crisscrossing the Colorado mountains, to the Amazon rainforest in Brazil, the skeleton coast dunes of Namibia, the wild, remote deserts of Siberia, the green rolling hills leading to the exquisite coastline of Northern California, deserts, lakes, oceans, mountains & trees. The magic in Paul’s writing is how she can make us feel these things, these huge abstract, wild places; while still making the songs intimate, filled with details of an important life. Waking up, touching rocks in the river, watching out a car window, a phone call, a kiss, a skinny dip, a good cry & a deep laugh. Like many of the artists on this list, we were lucky enough to host Black Belt Eagle Scout at Lost Lake last June. A rescheduled show from one that was postponed due to a (ha!) epic, late-spring, Colorado snowstorm. Seeing Katherine live was like watching a superstar. They were warm, friendly, and the music was emotional & powerful. Hands down one of my favorite shows of the year. I’ll be listening to The Land, The Water, The Sky on road trips for years to come! Long live Black Belt Eagle Scout. 

“Slow, important love / it keeps me alive / you wanted a second chance at life / well… you’re alive / you hear your heart beating / you walk under the trees / I was only seventeen / I was only seventy / the land, the water, the sky…”

*

FUST   /   Genevieve

If you’ve followed this list for the last 10 years, you know that I write A LOT about North Carolina bands and the albums & songs & connections I have with that state. I’ll talk about that more when I write about Kym Register (the deepest example of my fav “North Carolina sound”!) but this year, Asheville based “supergroup” Fust is the latest iteration of a specific North Carolina vibe that I can’t help but love. The songwriting project of Aaron Dowdy (who’s actually from Virginia ha!) Fust’s second full length album swells with the kind of yearning, hopeful, achy, pedal steel folk, alt country & americana songs that can soundtrack any backroad mountain drive, from Colorado to Carolina & California! My favorite moments include when “Violent Jubilee” rises up on layered electric guitar throbs and becomes a true road trip anthem with Dowdy cutting loose belting creakily “I like driving with the odometer busted, when I know the stars are gonna fall any minute! & I’m ready to burn up with it!” Or the bittersweet sadness in the struggling marriage/relationship commitments lamented on “Rockfort Bay” when Dowdy confides to his partner that he wants “a small life” and wants them both to “Do their best tonight, I’m praying we do not fight, I’m thinking we’ll be alright.” but also the creeping, darker secret that Dowdy admits halfheartedly “I’ve got a bad feeling, I’m never gonna change…”

These strong, nuanced lyrical themes across Genevieve set it apart from any old folk-americana album you might hear on a Spotify playlist, and in my mind, it’s almost a concept album of sorts. Themes of marriage & divorce, friendship & commitment. Themes of searching, restlessness & unsettledness. Themes of domestic contentment and what to do when you & the person you love want different things and have different goals in life. On the resigned “Open Water” Dowdy reveals longingly that despite all his restlessness, what he really wants is “a little old home to call my own / Where I like the wallpaper and what the sun’s done to it.” or in the Indigo De Souza (more on her in a sec obv!) assisted “Town in Decline” where he rejoices in a warm house, cooking, watching the news & cleaning the gutters, singing “I’ll bring candles, we can celebrate, the paper plates are fine!” There are also people all over the record, Genevieve of course (a fictional character according to Dowdy) John & Angel, Sarah Lee, Jimmy, Sam, sisters, brothers, neighbors, the whole damn band! There are also the real life collaborators in the Fust circle of music that I love, Indigo of course, drummer Avery Sullivan, Jake Lenderman and Xandy Chelmis from Wednesday (a record that I also loved but not on this list!) Courtney Werner from North Carolina legends Magic Tuber String Band, and all brought together on the production side by one of my all time fav producers Alex Farrar (Hurray For The Riff Raff, Tre Burt, Indigo, Wednesday etc…) Musically this album contains all the little evocative elements of North Carolina that I’m in love with. 

The mission statement, gut punch of the album is one of my favorite sad songs of the year. The accurately titled “A Clown Like Me” is a languid, ranging, late afternoon-into-dusk heartbreaker. There are enough clues in Dowdy’s small details & big ideas that I think I know deeply what this song is about, but I feel it more than any other song on the record. In a year where I started coming to grips with my own life decisions costing me actual, real things, and my carelessness hurting actual real relationships & people, this one hurts. This is an aching anthem for how to move forward. How to have open & honest conversations about it. How to walk & talk & make plans big & small. How to rebuild and try to make the deepest kind of friends. The awkwardness, the hardness, the checking in on family members & friends. The ache of loss and the bright, dull sting of a future alone or together. My fault I fear. There is still light shining through the kitchen window and the Winter is long. You should park on 4th. Seventh Ave stretches out forever and iced coffee tastes good even when it’s cold outside. How are your parents? I don’t know what I want. My family is good, things are changing, but good. Nieces, nephews, new job? Oh, your sister’s worried. How’s Sam? I’ve been trying really hard too, but feel like treading water, getting tired. I thought you’d want what I want. This song plays hard on the place that I knew you were dark. I was just trying to tell you how proud I am. I’m in awe and regret everything. My fault I fear. The sun goes down, the light slants differently when you’re not around. We don’t know how to do this but we are doing it anyway. Songs like this are hard but necessary. I feel heard & seen. I am listening & learning. Growing & moving forward. I feel that this hardness will never really go away. 

“It feels good to be a part of a greater kind of looking / gonna be a searcher for the rest of my days…”

*

GENESIS OWUSU   /   Struggler

“Sometimes it feels like there’s an old man waiting in the sky, just to fuck my life up.” begins the driving “The Old Man” on Genesis Owusu’s breathtaking sophomore album Struggler. He refers to this non-benevolent God all across the album, the title track crashes with the refrain “better run, there’s a God, and He’s coming for me!” and in “Stay Blessed” Owusu is just “a roach that a God is coming after.” Owusu has said that his alter ego “the roach” that appears in every song on this concept album, also represents humankind, fighting against the struggles daily life throws at us, surviving day-to-day, just getting up, “putting our ties on, and keep truckin!” He says the “God” that just won’t leave the poor roach alone (could that be the God of the bible?!) represents "these huge, unrelenting, uncontrollable forces that, by every logical means, should have crushed us a long time ago.” Lyrically, this concept is repeated over & over again across the album, almost every song references the struggle between the roach & god. But the music… the music of Struggler is where Owusu comes alive and breathes life into his epic narrative! From the first 30 seconds of the frenetic, electric opening track “Leaving The Light” I knew this one was gonna be special. Dance pop, synthwave, pop rap, breakbeat, funk jazz, disco & neo soul, part Bloc Party, part Jean Dawson, part Prince. It’s all splattered across Struggler, upbeat & relentless, danceable & underground-y, vibrant & all out wild. In a year where I continued to lean into lyrics, this is one of the albums on this list (add Kumo 99, Paris Texas, Sofia Kourtesis & Y La Bamba) where I can confidently say I like the music more than the lyrics, 

The first time I saw Genesis Owusu was at the magical Treefort Music Festival in 2022. It was a late night set at the Shrine and Owusu’s stage presence was incredible, from the dark, theater-influenced “black dog” opening half, to the celebratory dance party that had everyone in Boise sweating, it was my favorite set of the festival!  I told everyone about Genesis, and riding a scooter home at 3AM along the Boise River, I knew I had found a lifelong musical friend. Owusu brought that same energy to little old Globe Hall back in November, playing one of my favorite shows of last year. For the sold-outest of crowds, Owusu commanded the stage all by himself, dancing, singing, taking to the crowd to start a pit and sing along with fans. Owusu is one of those “you have to see him live” kind of talents. Born in Ghana, raised in Australia, Owusu is creating his career with a singular voice. Staying true to himself, shapeshifting, crawling, dancing, roaching, running, crashing, and always in the end… getting up again.

“Feeling like Gregor Samsa / a bug in the cog of a grey-walled cancer / I’m tryna break free with a penciled stanza / so are we human or are we dancer?...”

*

INDIGO DE SOUZA   /   All of This Will End

When Indigo De Souza released her incredible third album All of This Will End in late April, I listened to about 30 seconds of the first track, the innocently poppy, burning 2 minutes of “Time Back” and realized that this album was going to be one of my favorites, but also REALLY hard for me to listen to. Like she did on Any Shape You Take (one of my favorite albums of 2021) De Souza holds nothing back, making the most soul baring, life questioning indie rock album of 2023. When I wrote about Shape back in 2021, I called it a truly great emo album and said it made me feel like a teenager again. With this album, I feel like I am growing up alongside & with Indigo. Despite all the heartwreck that she’s singing openly about, she manages to grin & bear it, to see some lightness. “We’re gonna love again on the other side / when you come home I will begin again” she smiles through tears on “Time Back.” When she’s calling off work on the catchy, upbeat “Parking Lot” she laments “I’m not sure what’s wrong with me, but it’s probably just hard to be a person feeling anything / I’m a growing girl my ups & downs are natural” and at the end she concludes “maybe I’ll always be just a little bit sad.” She unpacks trauma and abuse in real time on the raging “You Can Be Mean” slyly admonishing “I’d like to think you got a heart and your dad was just an asshole growing up / but I don’t see you trying that hard to be better than he is.” and the fuzzed out, rocking grunge & bloodcurdling screams of “Wasting Your Time” & “Always'' are heavier shit than any album on this list. Like she has mastered in her blossoming career, De Souza continually balances the darkest darkness with the sweetest light, whether musically (“Losing” masks it’s aching longing with De Souza’s friendly, lilting vocals and a gentle, rolling guitar) or lyrically (“The Water” quickly came my favorite skinny dip song and soundtracked many river & creek hangs throughout my summer). The honest autobiography of Indigo’s writing lets me in on her secrets & growth, and I feel like I’ve known her through this chapter of her life. 

As I’ve sought out new friends this year (my first year of being truly single since I was kid) I’ve been drawn to people who want to talk about things the way that De Souza does in her songs. People who know the world is ending. People who struggle with their place in all of it. People who don’t feel like they fit in, but face it anyway. De Souza mixes an everyday “conversations with coworkers” vibe, with a deep, deep restlessness. The kind of unsettledness that makes her either the most fun at parties, or the kind of person that runs & hides. At the center of the album sits the title track. A mission statement & a bleak revelation, but one that could be looked at in many different lights. De Souza realizes that no matter how hard you try at all the things shes writing about, sometimes none of it matters and all of this will end anyway. She faces her deepest fears & inadequacies, forgiving herself and coming out singing “I’m only loving, only moving through and trying my best / sometimes it’s not enough but I’m still real and I forgive” 

This self-gentleness & self-forgiveness shines through especially bright on the gorgeous album closing ballad “Younger & Dumber.” Go watch the music video for this one, it’s incredible! I looped this song on repeat one night last Summer at Cheesman Park (“having an experience”!) sitting at the columns and watching a roller skater perform a routine that I SWEAR was made for “Younger & Dumber.” As the song picks up, pedal steel whining and De Souza’s voice rising fiercely with the second chorus, my anonymous roller-skater spun faster in the sunset “Sometimes I just don’t wanna be alone & it’s not cause I’m lonely” De Souza confides “It’s just cause I get so tired of filling the space all around me / & the love I feel is so powerful…” It’s here, on the brink of the end of the album, that De Souza changes the words to how powerful this love they feel is. On the printed lyrics in my CD copy they say “I’ll meet you anywhere.” This is of course a powerful, romantic statement. A commitment of love. But when De Souza sings the song on the album, they don’t say they’ll meet someone anywhere. They say that the love they feel is so powerful “it can take you anywhere.” This is self love. This is an open future. The freedom to let love take you anywhere. To love others truly, you must first love yourself. You must first admit to past mistakes, to know that “when I was younger / younger & dumber / I didn’t know better…”

As with many of the musicians I love and follow online, I feel super connected to Indigo through her social media. I’ve read a lot about “parasocial” relationships, and I’m always careful with how invested I get, but as I’ve referenced countless times in these reviews, following & connecting with artists, specifically their lyrics, has completely changed my life direction over the last 10-15 years. But when I see someone like Indigo struggling, posting openly & honestly about her struggles, I want to reach through the vastness and tell her it’s gonna be ok. That she is loved, that she is incredible, that her work is valid, important & essential. To help her in some way. In that feeling & that moment, I realize… Indigo is reaching through the vastness to tell me the same thing. Her work, her songs, her music, her lyrics, are carrying me. She is reminding me that I am loved. That life is hard but I am incredible. My passions & my work are important. The greatest gift, the deepest magic. Time travel, teleportation, whatever you want to call it… I call it magic. Hug your friends. Talk about everything with them.  Be open & honest with your struggles. Who gives a fuck, all of this will end. 

“Am I losing to the dark? / is it overtaking me? / I was overcoming last month / but June is killing me / & all my friends are leaving or trying on new faces / & in the dark, where my car’s been parked / I remember how to face it / there is nothing I can do when the winds of change blow through…”

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KING TUFF   /   Smalltown Stardust

“There are times in our life when we feel magic in the air.” So begins the bio/press release for King Tuff’s magical fifth album Smalltown Stardust. Way way back in November of 2022 (!) one of the venues I work for, Globe Hall, was getting ready to announce a King Tuff show in March of 2023. As I gathered all the info I would need to put the show on our website, I sat and read all about King Tuff’s new album and subsequent tour. As that kind of writing often does, I was brought to tears. I knew a little of King Tuff, was familiar with his fuzzy, psychedelic rock background and wizard’s hat, but reading about his desire to  “make an album to remind myself that life is magical. An album about love & nature & youth.” and his ultimate revelation that “I’m a different person now than I was 20 years ago when I first started this. But oddly, when I first started the band, it was more like this.” There are glimpses about his journey back to Brattleboro, Vermont (the town he grew up in), his communion with nature, his collaborative community (he lives & records in LA with Meg Duffy of Hand Habits and Sasami, who also co-wrote much of Stardust!), his joy & energy bouncing off the page and coming to a life as a real life wizard right in front of me. I became an instant fan!

The actual songs on Smalltown Stardust make good on all those promises! With some classic touchstones (I can’t help but hear The Beatles all over this record!) it is a psychedelic, hippie, pop-rock masterpiece. From the celestial garden swing of green thumb opener (“I just wanna dance & write love letters to plants”) to the rollicking, mountain folk rock of “Portrait Of God” and the measured indie of personal favorite “Rock River,” a summer river, skinny-dip love song for the ages! My favorite thing about the glorious nature King Tuff has splattered all over Stardust, is that it is accessible, ordinary, & worth celebrating! When you grow up in the heart of the Rocky Mountains in Colorado, there is a tendency to search for nature that is epic. Hard to get to, untouched, Instagram worthy, requiring multiple plane flights, or strenuous double digit mile hikes to obtain. Tuff’s nature can be found right in your own backyard! Green plants & wildflowers. Butterflies, stars, sunflowers & rain. “Walking in the woods, wading in the river, breathing in the mountain air.” Falling leaves & pebbles in a stream. As I get older (like Tuff) I have continually turned to nature for comfort, and last Summer found me exploring secret, favorite “accessible nature” spots less than 30 minutes from downtown Denver. Hit me up next Summer for secret creek spots in Clear Creek Canyon, Bear Creek & Boulder Creek. Come run around on Green Mountain! And of course, my deep, deep favorite nature spot… Cheesman Park!

My final connection with Smalltown Stardust & King Tuff was cemented last March, when my already-planned trip to see my little sister in Arkansas was unfortunately happening on the same weekend as King Tuff’s Globe Hall show in Denver. Tbh, I thought about canceling my trip and staying for Tuff, but I went to Arkansas and instead told my sister all about the album, the bio, and we stayed up late talking about nature & friends, siblings & youth, bittersweet nostalgia & an epic future! We drove rural Arkansas backroads to waterfalls, epic cliffs, mossy, leafy ravines, rock walls, Candy Mountain & Middle Earth. We drove through forests, across rivers, under skies storming with March gray & blue. We drank dark beers late into the night, talking about all the things that matter. I find myself always thinking a lot about how “growing up” feels. About my siblings and my friends old & new. Thinking about times when I was a kid in nature “In the back of a pickup truck, staring up at the blue, blazing down the backroads, blooming wild.” Sometimes as we get older, it feels like we’ll never have those same kind of feelings again. And more heavily than that, it feels like we shouldn’t want to have those feelings again. Like we need to grow up past those feelings. I’m so grateful for artists like King Tuff, friends like my sister Bethy (and of course my old and always best friend Stephen who always talks about all this shit with me haha!) and all the other people & music in my life that help me celebrate those feelings. That cycle of life. As King Tuff closes the album, I’m right there next to him, driving through our love & nature & youth together “Caught up in the turning of the wheel… & it’s coming round again…”

“When I close my eyes I’m going home / lonely sidewalks where I used to roam / ‘I’m A Loser’ lost in my headphones / back when all my dreams were silver & gold / sitting under the falling leaves / wondering where I’ll go / I’ll be where the rivers meet / looking for answers that I’ll never know / that’s where you’ll always find me…”

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KUMO 99   /   Headplate

Headplate, the third album from LA duo Kumo 99, roars to life with the kind of visceral, electronic energy you won’t find anywhere else on this list. Kumo 99 describe themselves as “post-national, apocalypse-adjacent, lo-tech love songs for the digital native.“ Nate Donmoyer (Passion Pit, Brandon Flowers, Crosses) handles the production and Ami Komai sings with a shapeshifting wildness that absolutely lights this album up. Sung entirely in Japanese, she explains “making the choice not to write our lyrics in English is a political act. Our lack of translation is political.” While I haven’t yet done all the translation work to dig into what this Japanese-American duo is singing about, the music needs absolutely no translation. This is mosh-pit ready EDM for the underground. Breakbeat, drum & bass, jungle, glossy pop-techno, all carried by a ferocious punk energy that tears at its seams and explodes out through Komai. At times she is sleek, slinking cat-like through 8bit video game beats and stomp-y pop, regal & aloof. When she cuts loose, like on the bonkers-ballistic “Dopamine Chaser” her screaming tag-teams the energy of the beat, both leveling up to a frenetic climax, the punk-est thing you’ll hear this year. Headplate is 29 minutes & 22 seconds of trance-inducing magic. If you’re still missing Crystal Castles… Go dive in. 

“Breathe calmly! / grab your hair in your hands! / hug each other till you’re one & the same!...”

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KYM REGISTER & THE MELTDOWN RODEO   /   Meltdown Rodeo

Back in 2016, I put Kym Register’s debut album Sweet High Rise on my fifth annual favorites list. They were still going by Loamlands then, and I was at the beginning of a journey that I am still very much on now, and will be for life. I was starting to unpack a lot of my internalized racism, sexism, & homophobia from my years spent in conservative, christian, straight-white-male circles; choosing the wrong friends, and being afraid to stand up for what I thought was right. It was through musicians like Register (and countless others) that I started finding inspiration, searching for progressive, challenging lyrics over familiar favorite sounds. I have been inspired watching them confront their peers, watching them write songs unpacking their own trauma, telling American stories about the racism, sexism, & homophobia that our country is built on. I began collecting musicians like Kym as inspiration, as education, people I could look up to, songs that challenged what I had once believed. Songs that encouraged me to challenge those around me. Songs that the new & changing me was proud to sing along with. Soon I began to collect friends & peers who believed the same things as I did and helped push me further down that road. Today, I still have so far to go on that journey, but it is not an exaggeration to say that musicians like Kym Register and albums like Meltdown Rodeo have completely changed my life. Woohoo! Let’s melt it down!

Meltdown Rodeo begins in a very similar place to Sweet High RIse. “Scottsboro” tells the horrifying story of The Scottsboro Boys, nine African American teenagers who were falsely accused of rape and sentenced to prison in Alabama in 1931. “Come on now” a frustrated Register mutters “this story’s not that old.” Sweet High Rise standout “Little River” told another off-forgotten, historical tale, the murder of Ronald Antonevitch at a popular gay swimming hole, that led to North Carolina’s first gay pride marches. While the music of “Scottsboro” echoes the sadness of the story, with yearning & spiraling guitar, track two “Blue” cuts loose with the kind of rage that reminds you of Register’s background in the punk scene. Telling another historically accurate story about Joni Mitchell wearing blackface, a song about how to critically examine your “heroes.” Lyrically Meltdown Rodeo deals with intense topics, but Register’s classic folk-country storytellers’ heart, makes them personal & relatable. These are real people, real struggles, and Register is constantly examining their own heart & brain, unpacking trauma, digging & replanting, learning & regrowing. Challenging the listener to do the same. 

Musically, this album takes me to North Carolina in the best way possible. I had a weird, deep connection with the state before I had even been there, and a lot of it had to do with the music made there. I didn’t step foot inside NC till 2016, but I’ve been there 12 times since! In a way, the connection that I’ve built over those seven years probably mirrors the internal growth I talked about, the most important years of my life so far. I have loved so much music from North Carolina in the last ten years and I hope to live there someday. Register owns The Pinhook in downtown Durham and is a staple in the local scene. The powerful guitar of Meltdown Rodeo and Register’s singular, ramrod vocals are evocative of the North Carolina countryside, rolling, rugged & gorgeous. Sweaty, humid & full of life. Of course, the musicians in this iteration of The Meltdown Rodeo are an all star cast of North Carolina legends! Rissi Palmer, Kamara Thomas, Phil Cook, Saman Khoujinian, Brevan Hampden, Sinclair Palmer, Joe Westerlund, & Matt Phillips. If you know, you know!  I’ve compared them to Lucinda Williams & Fleetwood Mac, but the closest thing I’ve been able to say is that it sounds like how North Carolina feels. Sweltering, swaying, stabbing guitar; melancholic yet hopeful, spring-y in all its longing. 

I’ve been lucky enough the last two septembers to finally catch a Kym Register set at Hopscotch Music Festival in Raleigh, and their presence & energy has been magical. There are a few bands that I’m always scared I’ll never have the chance to see live (looking at you American Trappist!) and the Meltdown Rodeo was one of them, until I snuck out of an eTix work conference in 2022, ran to Kings, bought myself a Tecate and a cheap whiskey shot, and started crying the second Kym started singing. Singing songs that I’ve kept close these last seven years. Songs that I’ve played every single one of the 12 times I’ve been in North Carolina. Songs that have actually helped me grow & change. I promise you, Meltdown Rodeo sounds so much better live. The guitars & organs crunch & squall together, and the drums lurch in mesmerizingly, making this also one of my favorite backroad driving records. When I live there someday, I’ll take these songs out on the backroads. From Asheville to the coast, I-40, 15-501 & the Blue Ridge Parkway. I’ll visit old friends. I’ll drive over the Little River, the Haw River, the Eno, the Deep. Until then, when I put this record on, I just close my eyes & I listen to the stories, I feel the staggering, suffocating heat, I hear the bugs & the birds. I can smell magnolia, dogwood & hydrangeas. I let the pedal steel carry me away. I melt down slowly in a good way. My brain & my body dissociating into something new & better. Melting down to start over. To begin again. I think about my past & my future. I know these songs are sticking with me forever. In a way… I’m already home. 

“Lightning bugs are larger when you’re lit up / can’t tell what’s sweat from mountain dew / foggy summer mornings they hide the shadows / and the barking dogs are songs to wake up to / daddy never taught me one good lesson / no one ever told me the truth / the South is a hotbed of resistance / to the whiteness that keeps trying to bury you / that’s why I’m coming home… / the only name I can reclaim is my own…”

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MARGO CILKER   /   Valley Of Heart’s Delight

There is a simple conversation that opens my favorite song on Margo Cilker’s incredible sophomore album Valley Of Heart’s Delight. The next to last song on the album “Sound And Fury'' opens with a rolling country gait and finds Margo asking “Tell me where you’re going, ask what I’m doing, wonder how it’s coming along / It’s a piece of a puzzle, it’s a midnight struggle, I’m goin, I’m goin, I’m gone.” Sung direct & straightforward in Cilker’s powerful, conversational tone, it’s lines like these that endear me to writers like Cilker. Real, authentic country, americana & folk lyrics over familiar, worn musical ground. Pedal steel, fiddle, & piano rolling right along stretches of blacktop highway & “Lowland Trails.” This is running into a neighbor at the grocery store (New Castle City Market IYKYK), this is sharing life challenges over a cup of bad coffee at the dusty diner, later this is deep, heartfelt conversations over cheap beer at the kind of pool hall or dive bar that can be found in any of the small towns Cilker namechecks across Valley. In her own carefree style, this album begins to cement Cilker in a growing pantheon of “new country” (anybody got a catchier name?!) songwriters, as much Prine & Dylan as Willie or Waylon, Lucinda, Linda, Townes, Steve Earle, The Band, there’s probably a long list of influences & favorites here that I would love to stay up late hearing Margo talk about! 

Growing up in rural, western Colorado, I fell for country music in high school, and it’s been hard to shake ever since. Good country mind you, not the shit you find on mainstream country radio these days. Musically, Cilker’s band really cooks, most notably in the lighthearted “Steelhead Trout” (the only cover on the album) and the driving, dramatic “Mother Told Her Mother Told Me.” Another great folk songwriter Sera Cahoone (who I was lucky enough to catch at Red Rocks last Summer) produces the album, plays drums and calls Margo “her own authentic weirdo.” Cilker’s “weirdo” nomadic lifestyle is a huge influence here, these songs trace lines and name cities all across the US (Greenville, San Francisco, Oakland, Lodi, Bozeman, Boston, Los Gatos, Los Altos, Manhattan, Houston & little Santa Rosa, NM!) Despite all Margo’s journeys, there is a clear sense of place, and her Northern California roots are deep & evident throughout. In fact, when “Sound And Fury” turns late night serious in it’s second half, acknowledging America’s racial tension, economic depression, and climate crisis. Referencing William Faulkner and “the gatekeeper’s footing disturbed” Cilker takes comfort in her familiar places. She talks about the yearly return of the apricots, her home in Los Altos, and her deep held beliefs in listening & learning. “It’s a song down the ages” she sings with just the slightest twang “It’s a tearing of pages, I’m listening, I’m listening, I’ve heard.” She doesn’t have all the answers, but she’s working hard toward simple, deep truths. When she finally closes Valley on the Justin Townes elegy “All Tied Together” it comes with a deep answer and a simple question. “It’s all tied together” she sings confidently if sadly. But like so many of us, those of us out searching for these kinds of truths, that answer makes her question… “If it’s all tied together… Are we better unwound?”

“I remember Montana always treating me fine / driving up to Eureka / Polebridge on the 4th of July / went on a bender in Bozeman / sobered up in Hamilton / fell in love with a fisherman / but it was catch & release…”

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McKINLEY DIXON   /   Beloved! Paradise! Jazz!?

“I’m crazy about this city” begins McKinley Dixon’s majestic Beloved! Paradise! Jazz?! These are not Dixon’s own words or voice; instead, legendary poet Hanif Abdurraqib reading one of Dixon’s favorite writers, the also legendary Toni Morrison. Dixon named the album after Morrison’s Harlem-based trilogy of novels. Hanif & Toni go on to tell us all about the city they love, their specific, slanting details echoing the intimate, illuminating details that Dixon is about to share across his jazz soaked, ethereal, classic rap album. Hanif talked about Dixon’s writing style saying “You have to archive the beautiful corners of where you’re from, because if you don’t then no one else will.” Archiving beautiful corners is such a meaningful way to describe Dixon’s writing (and great writing in general!) and to really listen to Beloved is to gain a deeper understanding of those beautiful corners that Dixon really loves. His city, his people, his life. Blooming & bursting through tragedy & trauma. Inspirational, life giving & heartfelt. 

To answer the question mark in the album title, McKinley Dixon’s Beloved! Paradise! Jazz!? Is my favorite jazz album of the year! Of course, this is also one of the best rap albums of the year! Dixon raps & sings over a sizzling live band, skittering & swaying over horns & strings, poetry, jazz, time travel, paradise, love, friends, death, forever. From the mood setting harp that introduces the shimmering opening song “Sun, I Rise” a forward looking anthem featuring Spacebomb Records sister Angélica Garcia (see you in 2024 Angélica!) to the undeniably bouncy piano riff that starts “Run, Run, Run” the musicianship here pulls its weight supporting Dixon’s generational-talent lyrics and fierce, focused delivery. Dixon is a can’t miss artist building an impressive catalog. A Richmond, VA native, who I discovered through one of my favorite record labels/recording studios/music collectives, Richmond’s mighty Spacebomb Records. There’s definitely a future version of me that moves to Richmond and works for Spacebomb! When I wrote about Dixon’s Spacebomb debut (the intensely personal For My Mama And Anyone Who Look Like Her) on my 2021 Favs list, I referenced the trauma & death that gives birth to this kind of writing. Make no mistake, that trauma & death is still very present on Beloved. Take the bombastic, friday-night-lights brass of second single “Tyler, Forever” a song Dixon penned for his friend that passed on. In the last verse he imagines them laughing together “If he was here now he’d say that that shit’s unheard of / I’d laugh, say yeah he right, it’s probably true / Then sitting on his floor I’d realize poets lie too.” Dixon says the song shows how “Celebrations of life & moments of sadness can be tied to each other.” and “To Tyler: I made it off 225th! I remember you laughing when I showed you my first song in 2014. The whole world to us was only Linden BLVD. Never woulda thought we make it this far. I take you wherever I go.” All across Beloved it’s clear that Dixon really is taking people & places from his past wherever he goes. References to his parents, grandparents, close friends & cousins imbue the album with familial love & warmth amidst the inescapable death, violence & trauma. 

Personal fav “Live! from the Kitchen Table” is a song inspired by Carrie Mae Weems 1990s photo series of the same name. Breathtaking black & white photographs showing essential family activities happening around the kitchen table. I am instantly taken back to seeing Bruce Springsteen with my dad and hearing Bruce talk about his own father. It was the River Tour and Bruce was introducing his heartbreaker "Independence Day." He said the song is set around a late night kitchen table conversation between him & his dad, and if I close my eyes I can see the picture Weems would’ve taken. “Well papa go to bed now it’s getting late” Bruce begins, before painting a picture of leaving town, a story of striking out on your own. This town could be anywhere, Dixon’s Richmond, Springsteen’s Freehold, or my New Castle, but the idea is the same. Bruce went on to explain the song as a memory of the first time he saw his parents as their own people, chasing their own dreams, trying to make their own way in life. Dixon explores that very same balance delicately throughout Beloved, checking back in on his childhood self, remembering his earliest connections, holding on to what made him, but also, striking out on his own. Chasing dreams, chasing sunlight, chasing better for everyone he loves. Chasing as Morrison says “Future thoughts.” Look out everybody, “Here comes the new!” 

“LIve! From my momma’s kitchen table / where she pulls heartbreak to her chest and folds up cards to keep legs stable / where the currency for meals is often the laughter that’s exchanged in / I ain’t seen you in a minute, so sorry, tears blurring your frame / our line different, nothing missing, you ain’t call but we ain’t trippin / come in / still remember the seatin’, treat the home just like the heart / keep it warm and always beatin’ / it’s alive / Live!”

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THE NATIONAL   /   First Two Pages of Frankenstein & Laugh Track

For being one of my all-time favorite bands, it’s hard to believe that The National has only made this list once, all the way back in 2013 when Trouble Will Find Me (my all time favorite National record) lost out to only Josh Ritter, Frightened Rabbit, Phosphorescent, & of course Typhoon (more on them later shhh!) in my second year of making this list! If you look at it that way, it makes a little more sense, as each of the three pre-Trouble National records (High Violet, Boxer & Alligator) would have been at the top had I been making this list before 2012. Plus, since then, I was fairly un-enamored with their direction for Sleep Well Beast and I Am Easy To Find. Also, only releasing two albums in the ten years since Trouble?! Welllll… discography lesson aside, Indie Rock’s favorite Sad Dads The National are back in a BIG WAY in 2023! Releasing not one but TWO career-defining albums, somehow becoming a way wayyyy better live band (mixing up setlists, satisfying the die-hards with deep cuts galore, and playing 27-33 songs per show!) and doubling down on the kind of middle age mediocre angst (ha!) that seems to speak to me more deeply the more angsty, mediocre, & middle aged I get! I fucking love both these albums, I’ve cried to these songs more than a few times, and The National b2b nights at Mission Ballroom two days after my birthday in the heart of last Summer, was one of my most special memories from last year. The general consensus across critical reviews (and of course the reddit threads!) was that you could combine both albums, trim some excess, and make one absolutely great National album! The funny thing was however, everyone’s “one great new National album” looked completely different! I of course made my own 13 song favorites album mix called Demolished & Laughing, named after my favorite new National couplet from “New Order T-Shirt.” My longtime best online music friend Adam made his mix 50% different from mine! One of my favorite music writers (and National diehard) Steven Hyden cleverly called his album mix Frankenstein Laughs, but somehow left off “Once Upon A Poolside” (the Sufjan assisted all timer) and “New Order T-Shirt” which was my MOST LISTENED TO SONG OF 2023! I’m mostly joking here of course, but it did show me that while we all agree there’s some duds between the two albums, we differ vastly on which songs are “duds” and maybe sometimes more actually is better! 

My National album opens exactly how Frankenstein opened (and how they opened both nights at Mission Ballroom) with the ultimate, middle-age scene setter “Once Upon A Poolside.” An austere, Sufjan assisted piano ballad with everybody watching. A more direct sister to their cult favorite, live staple “About Today.” Where that song finds a couple in bed late at night, one asking the other “hey, are you awake? How close am I to losing you?” I can imagine the answer coming 19 years later, from across the million miles of a queen size bed “What was the worried thing you said to me?” Track two is my song of the year, the song I listened to more than any other “New Order T-Shirt.” When this song was released as the second single off Frankenstein, I thought of it as a sad, end-of-the relationship song, and (knowing The National) it probably is! But something turned in me when I began to think of “I keep what I can of you…” as something good. Something worth treasuring. Whether those “split second glimpses & snapshots & sounds” are the exciting beginnings of a new crush or the heartbreaking endings of when someone really good is actually gone, they’re still worth holding onto. Carry them with you & flicker through. From there Laugh Track’s “Deep End” is a song I first heard live this Summer, a Trouble-level National jam, Bryan Devendorf’s drums sound SO GOOD, and when was the last time they started a song as strong as “I’m going off the deep end, barely sleeping”?! Perfect. You have to go back to Fall 2022 for when I heard The National debut “Grease In Your Hair” at Red Rocks and that song has stuck with me since. I think of it as a cousin to “Don’t Swallow The Cap” and the liftoff that happens when the song hits “Down we go on the grass!” is one of my favorite musical moments across both albums, an epic indie rock jam. The thing most everyone did agree on is that “Space Invader” and especially “Smoke Detector” were a return to the old (and I mean like Alligator/Boxer old) National. “Space Invader” is the first 6+ minute song The National has ever released, and the build that starts at about 3:20 and carries the last half of the song is the noisiest The National have ever sounded. Walls upon walls of screeching guitars, drums crashing like waves and Matt Berninger almost unintelligible, muttering “quarter after four in the morning. Why’d I leave it like that?” Absolutely epic. “Smoke Detector” is an almost 8 minute fever dream, increasingly hazy & disorienting, Berninger muttering, sometimes almost out of breath, restlessly repeating lines over the Dessner brothers' chaotic guitar squeals & squalls. This is the closest The National have ever come to capturing their live sound on tape. 

Two of my favorite nights of 2023 were spent with The National at Mission Ballroom on August 11th & 12th. I want to close with the wandering, Summer haze writing I typed out on my Instagram after the shows. This is how most of my music writing has sounded the last few years.

It felt so SO good to dance & sweat & sing and mark some time & space with a band I’ve grown up with since college. Singing about decisions & choices & aging, about how to face your future and the future of a world that's burning. As always, it’s all about how the show made me FEEL. Sometimes it’s seeing someone else lose their shit. Dancing like they’re the only person alive on the giant, extravagant mission floor, running their fingers through their hair, claiming the song as theirs. Sharing the song as ours. A communal experience, energy exchanged. To feel all humming live wires. Tired & wired. Summer like a wasp nest. Summer like a drug. Sometimes it takes sobbing to the songs live to know they’re yours. To hear what they’re trying to teach you, whispering in your brain what you’re feeling before you even know yourself. What was the worried thing you said to me? Songs about brutally specific things & places & memories. About how endings & beginnings sometimes feel the same. About how it’s good to say all the painful parts out loud. Maybe we’re in the middle of some kind of cosmic rearrangement. I keep what I can of you. Split second glimpses & snapshots & sounds. Snapshots of running around r(h)ino for hours, chasing food trucks & feelings. Deep in conversation about trauma & generations, about growing older, about finding out what you want. Like what do you REALLY WANT out of your one wild & precious life. Meteor showers over dark hot springs. Joy & pain, sadness, grief, and ecstatic elation stabbing your ribs like a mystic, fantastic narwhal tusk. Silly till you cry from laughing. Or laugh from crying. Sneaking into fancy hotels, demolished & laughing. Memorize the air, there will come a time I’ll wanna know I was here. In the end, when the waters are rising, string yourself up for love again and sing… “Leave your home / Change your name / Live alone / Eat your cake…” The National are one of my all time favorite bands and 2023 was their year. 

“What if I’d never written the letter / I slipped in the sleeve of the record I gave you? / what if I stayed on the C Train until Lafayette? / what if we’d never met? / what if I’d only just done what you told me and never looked back? / what if I’d only ducked away down the hallway and faded to black? / it’ll come to me later / like a space invader / & I won’t be able to get it out of my head…”

*

NO-NO BOY   /   Empire Electric

Julian Saporiti’s archival songwriting project No-No Boy is absolutely everything I want in great folk songwriting. His sophomore album Empire Electric is full of rich & lush songs, filled with ambient & found sounds, tropical & magical, bird chirps, ocean waves, & ancient sunshine.. His history textbook lyrics tell real stories and demand not only liner notes reading over coffee, but googling countries & years, or even visiting your local library to check out actual books! His songs are sweet & familiar, his voice gentle & friendly, like a storyteller lulling you into a trance, filling his stories with generations of history both personal & communal, a twinkle in his eye, a true folk songwriter, always a little bittersweet chuckle in the heartache of the folks he’s singing about. 

For any history or music scholar, Julian Saporiti definitely has the chops. Many of the stories on Empire Electric come from his PhD in Asian American history. The history in these songs is meticulously researched, but imbued with the kind of fantasy starlight that makes the songs truly come alive. From Japanese internment camps to the onion farms in Oregon on the ethereal opener “The Onion Kings of Ontario!” to the coast of California in the 17th century on the blooming “1603.” When indie-rock anthem “Sayonara” explodes out of a rolling rhythm, it sounds for all the world like the kind of earth-shattering, hipster-indie-cool, love song I would’ve put on an actual mix CD for a pretty girl in the early 2000s! All Vampire Weekend-y, the kind of song you dance to in the teen-movie prom! Personal favorite “Nashville” (Saporiti’s current hometown!) tells a familiar story of immigration & gentrification, painted into an all-time classic country song. Woven in with stories of actual people from Saporiti’s past & present, he explores his own intergenerational trauma, another story in the endless line of personal stories, to listen & learn is the greatest gift we have.

This sort of writing shows me what I love most about storytelling in music. How these simple song structures seem to be my most accessible medium for learning about people. Not just the real, individual people who write biographical songs (although believe me I feel like I can call every artist on this list a friend!) but the people in these songs, the characters the songs reveal to me, the ideas in characters’ heads that push me to explore more. Lines that make me do my own research, brain digging & gardening to unearth my own weaknesses, my flaws, my little prejudices that keep me from being the best version of myself. Ever since around 2015, when I fully committed to music, I made a point to seek out artists & songwriters, telling stories different from mine. Of course, I still connect with the stories that mirror mine, the ones that make me feel seen & heard in my own personal struggles, but in committing to diving into a deeper, diverse pool of artists (hint -not just white men in their 30-40s singing about religious trauma & heartbreak hahaha) I unwittingly opened the doors for a better version of myself to begin to bloom. This version might be mostly unrecognizable to 21 year old Matty, playing Division 2 baseball for a private Christian College, trying to please Jesus and find his way in life, but it’s the version I’m most proud of now. Although I admittedly still have a long long way to go and lots of things to work on in this journey, I know I’m on the right path. The songs & stories in Empire Electric remind me of why I love music & songwriting & history & places & people & stories. This album is special. 

“She had played a million shows like this / but she had never heard no songs like his / he told her ‘baby I’m a Dylan kid… but my favorite song is “Maaf Cintaku” (look it up!) / He loaded out just before her set / wrapped in a cloud of cigarettes / he heard a voice that you don’t forget / she sang, “Meet Me in the Morning” / not 56th & Wabasha / just the donut den over by the mall / she said ‘brother sometimes I miss it all’ ”

*

PARIS TEXAS   /   MID AIR

I got really into Paris Texas last Summer when I was digging around for artists that sounded like Jean Dawson. Paris Texas is the cool kid, slacker rock, underground rap, critically acclaimed, deadly serious, hilariously carefree, don’t-give-a-fuck, make the best music you can and fuck the rest, best friends duo of Louie Pastel & Felix. MID AIR is their sophomore album and it goes hard. Manic, urgent, rap-rock energy. Soul-baring lyricism grating up against swaggering, sky shooting songs, money, cars & women. Late night, hardcore, steady, dirty beats. I knew that MID AIR was going to be on this list about 30 seconds into burning opener “tenTHIRTYseven” when Louie Pastel jumps in with a “Yeah!” over a huge beat asking “Who wanna rock?! Who wanna roll?! Who wanna die?! I’m throwing a fit! Let’s get in the pit! Not leaving alive!” I read a lot of interviews, reviews, blogs, reddit threads and discords to try and decide what I wanted to write about MID AIR, but I’m gonna keep it short & sweet. Louie & Felix are pretty direct when asked about genre comparisons, expectations, career goals, creative process etc… They make what they think sounds cool, they’re trying to be the best at it, their creative vision is expansive, think movie-plot music videos, billboards, huge features, blah blah blah. Bottom line, their caffeinated, creative energy makes MID AIR bounce off walls, sprint down alleys at breakneck speed, and change the direction of underground music going forward.

  Founded in 2018 when they were in community college, Louie Pastel makes most of the beats & Felix raps. They built soundcloud cred & a sick live show before releasing their critically acclaimed debut album Boy Anonymous in 2021 (which by the way you can still download for name-your-price on bandcamp)! They blend breakneck, indie rock guitar riffs, ominous, skittering DIY beats, and bombastic, humorous, vulnerable emo raps. Personal fav “DnD” rides an instantly infectious Kurt Cobain guitar riff, a SoCal Vince Staples beat and guest star Kenny Mason rapping what could a mission statement for MID AIR (or even a mission statement for Paris Texas if they weren’t too self aware to claim anything other than brilliant aloofness) “Too hood for the art shit / too smart for the hard shit / too depressed to be a narcissist / I just know my shit better than yall shit.” Secret weapon dilip co-produces, he’s worked with Denzel Curry, Juice WRLD, & ZelooperZ. Kenny & Teezo Touchdown feature, but mostly this is the Paris Texas show. If you read this list every year, you know that this is not my most knowledgeable genre but MID AIR recalls some of my favorite work from Death Grips, Jean Dawson, Ho99o9, The Injury Reserve, TV On The Radio, Nirvana, Das Racist, Kendrick Lamar, Ratatat, Odd Future & many more. Bottom line, MID AIR is exciting, energetic, and forward thinking, the kind of don’t-give-a-fuck attitude that makes me excited for what comes next. Not just for Paris Texas, but for music in general. Who wanna rock?!

“There’s love in the air so I will not breathe in / I made it alive I survived the deep end / I’m back on my bullshit, I’m back with revenge / I saw all of this behind my eyes dreaming… / I’m trying, trying, trying, trying… / one day I’ll be gone…”

*

PETER GABRIEL   /   i/o

Peter Gabriel was a music staple in our house as long as I can remember. Thanks to my baby boomer, music-loving parents, I grew up with Gabriel, Paul Simon, James Taylor & Neil Diamond. Of course we mostly listened to Contemporary Christian radio & Sunday morning worship, but Gabriel was one of the white men who shaped my earliest music listening habits. Not just “Sledgehammer” and “Solsbury Hill” (although both of those songs are lifetime favs) but the absolute epic live version of "Come Talk To Me," the breathtaking Kate Bush duet “Don’t Give Up,” and of course dancing to “In Your Eyes'' at every family wedding & dance party that I can remember. Gabriel always struck me as something of a heartfelt misfit. A little emo, a little too sincere, not cool, not hip, but creatively, he was able to sneak deep, heart wrenching songwriting into his sometimes cheesy 80s songs. For all the years of work & tinkering Gabriel has put into i/o (there are two different mixes of each song on the album, and this is his first album of new material in 21 years, and second in 31 years!!) the songs here are clear, direct, & powerful. I’ve always been a fringe fan (I even got the chance to see him with Sting back in 2015!) but it wasn’t until last Summer, in my little brother & sister Willie & Mad’s sunkissed Portland, Oregon kitchen, when he reminded me to check out the new Peter Gabriel single “i/o.” I was instantly hooked. A simple, catchy piano tinkling under Gabriel’s timeless voice “I’m just a part of everything” he opens deeply & cheerfully “I stand on two legs and I learn to sing. I walk with my dog and I whistle with the birds.” When he drops the huge “Solsbury Hill” worthy chorus, it’s hard not to sing along “I-O, I-O! I’m coming out, I’m going in! I-O, I-O! I’m just a part of everything!” 

This year my family time (aka my favorite time!) has been full of new life. Two new babies (!) new love, weddings, new jobs, new tattoos & new homes! That birth & new life is echoed all over i/o, truly this is a magically warm & wet Springtime record; full of plants and life on earth! Gabriel sings about green grass & soft soil, tubers, fungi & seeds, rivers & lakes, old oak trees & olive trees, tentacles & octopus suckers, buzzard wings, elephant trunks, buzzing bees, dogs, birds, snakes, sharks, horses, mist & haze, smoke & flames, mountains, lightning bolts, asteroids & rainbows! His writing has aged beautifully and his voice sounds more poignant & genuine now than ever. You can hear his energy in the infectious blooming Spring anthem “Olive Tree” (seriously-YOU try not dancing around your kitchen to that chorus!) belting “The change is coming fast & it’s… Oh oh I’ve got the water falling on me! It’s all waking up now! I’ve got the sunlight warming my back! Warming up all my bones! I’ve got the cool breeze right on my skin! bringing every cell to life…” The funky (mayyyybe slightly Sledgehammer-y?!) “Road to Joy” finds him making the kind of dancing song he needs to wake up his body “Wake up every part of me / get the blood to flow in every nook & cranny / get the blood to flow from my head to my toes / put the life in my soul back in the world / we’re walking down the road to joy!” 

Personally, 2023 was the year where I started to feel my age. Mentally, emotionally & physically, turning 37 seemed to make me think about age more. In those feelings i/o was a friend & a comfort that “feeling old” and thinking about life from an older perspective is ok. Gabriel embraces his age, while pushing against time; madly creating and doing as much as possible. He touches on time across i/o, most notably on the sweeping “Playing For Time” where he searches galaxies & distant planets before zeroing on the thing everybody is desperate for… Time. But the somber standout “So Much” hit home to me the hardest. “So much unfinished business” Gabriel sings bleakly as he contemplates the end. “All of it comes & goes, there’s only so much can be done.” He is watching time slip by in the mirror and it gets pretty dark. “The body stiffens, tires & aches / in its wrinkled, blotchy skin / with each decade, more camouflage / for the wild eyed child within…” He calls all of us, old AND young, to close our eyes for a moment and meditate on time. Then, with his warm, aging voice soft enough to be standing beside you, he encourages “Look down & look above / all the warmth inside of you comes from those you love / oh, there’s so much to live for / so much left to give…” No other album on this list spans the emotions of feeling young & new, old & hopeful as well as i/o, thank you Peter for reminding me what a gift it is to grow older. 

“Just how much does it have to hurt / before you let go the pain? / and just how deep does it have to be / before you yearn to be free again? / every wound can lock you away / you can walk or you can choose to remain / but every day can pass you by / while you were holding the key / this is how it turns… / this is what we do… / this is who we are… / when we forgive we can move on… / we belong to the burden til it’s gone…”

*

PLASMA CANVAS   /   Dusk

“All the parts of me are in constant motion” sings Plasma Canvas frontwoman Ren Ash over Evalyn Flowers’ relentless drumming, before exploding in screams, belting “I wanna kill this part of me that I despise.” Motion & change have defined much of Plasma Canvas’ career as one of the front range’s most inspiring hardcore bands. Their songs & albums & especially their fiery live show are a constant reminder of the power of growing & changing into the person that you were meant to become. The person that you most desperately want to be. The best version of yourself. Sometimes it takes screaming to songs that sound as intense as these to really push yourself to the idea of “killing the parts of you that you despise.” There is a place for meditation & gentleness (and both can be found even on Dusk!) but make no mistake, this album screams about life struggles like no other album on this list. So as Plasma Canvas enters another chapter of motion, growth & change in their life as a band, inspiring each of us individually to do the same; I want to recognize their masterpiece of a farewell statement, their burning sophomore album Dusk. As Ren writes in the liner notes of “You’re enough. Go get what you want out of this one life that you have.” 

Plasma Canvas has been a mainstay in the Colorado hardcore scene for seven plus years, and Dusk is a punk, pop-punk, emo & hardcore masterpiece. If you’ve followed my music writing, you know that hardcore is one of the genres I’m least knowledgeable in (especially as I get older) but I’ve always loved Plasma Canvas for reminding me of the great pop-punk & emo bands I grew up loving. It’s impossible for me to listen to Dusk and not hear My Chemical Romance, Jimmy Eat World, Green Day, The Ataris, Vendetta Red, Coheed & Cambria, Br*nd N*w, & even The Cure. Dusk is a huge shot from Plasma Canvas at an epic album (their first full length since 2016!) and if you paid attention to both of their magnificent & obliterating EPs, you might be surprised to hear the scene-setting, opening track “Hymn.” Guided by a gentle, slowly swelling piano line, frontwoman Ren Ash tells a story of death & memories on a cold Texas day “as the snow falls in Midland.” The song rises with choir vocals and then finally explodes at its close with crashing guitars searing into huge single “Blistered World.” Three Cheers-era My Chem guitars wail behind Ash, with one of my favorite vocal takes of the year yelling “I swear to anybody listening, this ain’t the end!” Ash’s vocals are a highlight throughout Dusk, the perfect hardcore mix of singing & screaming; melodic, aggressive, every word believable & incredibly emotive. From true screamo lung rippers, to huge singalong choruses (I dare you not to sing “My head is heavy with suicide! My heart is soaring with love”!) the songs on Dusk never sacrifice melody or meaningfulness. I’ve seen Plasma Canvas all over Denver over the last 5 years, from the Hi-Dive & Seventh Circle, to UMS & the Marquis, and their shows are always uplifting. A chance to scream, a chance to dance, a chance to be yourself. I guess when I call them Punk, it’s that ethos that I’m talking about. A ”fuck the world-be yourself” persona, full of love & acceptance, but ran through with rage against everything that is fucked up in our world. Ren & Evalyn have been outspoken activists for trans rights and their shows are a testament to being yourself. So as they grow & move on, motioning & changing into whatever form Plasma Canvas ends up being somewhere down the road, I’m glad they’re leaving us with this record. A massive, firework, pipe bomb testimony of how to go down swinging. Being yourself, being true, and not being afraid to scream about it. Press play and turn it up to 11. This is the hugest album on this list and I’m so happy that Plasma Canvas exists. 

“I remember the stain / the dirty tint to everything in our house / I remember the cold… / I’m in a new place / I want my things / I want my space / I don’t like it… / I wanna go home / where is my home?... / home is togetherness / everything we lost / all that we still have / we can still heal / we can move past it / i can heal / i can heal… / i will heal…”

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ROSELIT BONE   /   Ofrenda

There are a lot of incredible songwriters on this list, but as far as bands go, Roselit Bone may be the greatest living American band and Ofrenda may be the greatest American album of the last couple years! A messy mix of everything that makes America great & terrible, Roselit Bone is blood & sweat & tears & shit & piss, music as rooted in the deserts & canyons & mountains & plains & cities & towns of America, as any album I’ve heard. Like a sun-bleached strip mall, everything on Ofrenda is splattered in chaos & corrosion. Guitars & brass & strings blast classic country, punk, psychobilly, rockabilly, mexican ranchera, lonely gothic folk & jazzy, bluesy, garage-y, stomping rock & roll. Roselit Bone is a band’s band, a Portland Oregon 8-piece, cutting their chops on the road for over a decade. I’ve been lucky enough to catch them twice at the Hi-Dive on South Broadway here in Denver, and this is one of my favorite live bands I”ve ever seen. Frontwoman Charlotte McCaslin is not only an incredible writer (these songs are bleeding stories of her divorce, gender transition, and inner turmoil) but a once-in-a-lifetime stage presence. She brings the kind of energy that makes me glad bands like this still play venues like Hi-Dive. Don’t miss Roselit Bone next time they’re in your town. And if you live in Denver, come with me next time they’re here!

Ofrenda was written in the midst of the global pandemic and the black lives matter protests in McCaslin’s native Portland. These songs growl with unrest, anger & frustration, and tell stories of trauma & violence, despair & love. From the opening notes, Ofrenda reads like an apocalyptic nightmare. To listen deep to McCaslin is to feel dread around every corner. Most of her dread is just our basic, everyday American horror. Murder, rape, capitalism, sexism, racism, evil, climate change etc… and her darkness always feels like it’s chasing, relentless & evil. From the agonized yowling of kick-down-the-door opener “Your Gun” (“the bedroom smells like spray paint & cum”) to the swelling delta blues of the haunting “The Tower” (“we ran for our lives as the angels took power and I could feel the wires uncoil / we’ll make love one day on more fertile ground”) to the finality & despair of “Ain’t No Right Way To Feel” sung passionately over an 80’s power pop beat. It makes sense that I finally fell in love with Ofrenda driving through the remote deserts of the great Southwest; somewhere between Colorado, New Mexico (Truth of Consequences FTW!) and Arizona, somewhere between 2023 & 2024, somewhere between death & life. Living like Roselit Bone. Always on the run & always on the road. Always holding on… Always letting go… If you’ve ever stayed at a shitty motel in a shitty American town, grab a six pack of beer and a pack of smokes and let Ofrenda wash you away. Long live Roselit Bone, the greatest fucking American band!

“I don’t even mind it / the lightning or the wind / I thought that I would find it when the roses bloom again / but I came to my senses / out in Truth or Consequences…”

*

SHALOM   /   Sublimation

The first thing you hear on Shalom’s instantly arresting debut album is Shalom’s voice, bluntly opening the aptly named “Narcissist” with the line “Oh god I think about myself so much.” In a way, that line not only explains what I love so much about Shalom’s writing, but also what I personally am trying to work on in what has been a hard, sometimes selfish year. For the record, “Narcissist” kicks off Sublimation with an explosive, late 90s, grungy fire, singing like an angry Alanis over Third Eye Blind “wooooos”! Shalom’s writing goes deep on her feelings, the good, the bad, the stuff that needs to be worked out internally (or in this case, externally! For our -the listeners- benefit) before she/we/me can turn our focus outward to changing the world. All this work can happen simultaneously of course, but self introspection, self challenge, and self growth, are essential to making the world a better place, in whatever field you are in. 

Musically, Sublimation is my favorite kind of album. Glowing with color & light, ranging from ragged, modern indie rock, aforementioned 90’s grunge and radio rock, to upbeat fun pop. Shalom Obisie-Orlu is an indie kids’ indie kid, Baltimore born, South African raised, living in Brooklyn; writing honest, scathing bedroom rock & roll. As with most of the albums on this list, the writing is what sets Sublimation apart. Shalom is a fascinating writer, her Instagram is a must-follow, she writes bluntly & honestly about her life, the good & the bad, her writing style is equal parts laugh out loud funny and hippie inspiring. She refuses to dull down or sanitize any of her feelings. She rages, she rambles, she sings about the important things, she wholeheartedly looks at the world and asks what she can do to make it better, to make herself better. 

On Sublimation release day she wrote this on instagram:

“Most importantly, this album is for my 12 year old yellow loving self who knew she was different and didn’t know what to do about it. Little me, we figured it out! And it’s so good. I’m so so thankful & grateful to all the past versions of me that didn’t give up and allowed us to be here now. I’ve been crying my eyes out all morning.”

Some of my favorite writing, and a lot of my favorite albums contain songs written for past versions of yourself. On my 2020 Favs list, Joy Oladokun referenced writing the songs that 12 year old christian & queer Joy needed to hear. Shalom thanks past versions of herself for not giving up, for pushing her to get where she is now. In a year where I have struggled and have felt little dashes of that same kind of “giving up” in a way I haven’t felt before, I can also feel myself pushing through,  surviving, and moving forward. It’s nice to have an album full of songs celebrating that survival to sing along to. 

“I wanna be older for the first time in my life… / I wanna be yours, but I have to be mine first…”

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SOFIA KOURTESIS   /   Madres

I discovered Sofia Kourtesis’ glowing, dancing debut album Madres in the dark of November, when I was struggling mentally, emotionally & physically. The Solstice was still over a month out, I was trapped in some cycles of things that weren’t healthy and I wasn’t treating myself well. Something about Sofia’s bright, uplifting rhythms & melodies, her gossamer vocals and airy soundscapes, started chipping away at my soul, and although it may be (like a lot of my writing about music tends to be!) a slight exaggeration, saved me and kept me going through another dark, dark winter. Indeed there is a Spring-like warmth in Madres that I haven’t really felt in a lot of music that sounds like this. Kourtesis is a world renowned DJ, curating and performing at Berlin’s famous Funkhaus, but her philosophy is simple “At the end, you make music for the people” she says “so the people have to be in the music as well” I feel like my favorites list is always so full of inward facing albums, important writing about self reflection & self love, but the community that you can feel in Kourtesis’ writing, the outward facing, “dancing together” vibe, is palpable & welcome, celebratory & joyful. 

I’m the first to say that I don’t listen to a ton of “EDM” but there is something magical in Kourtesis’ writing style, and the more I listened and read and watched her interviews, I became entranced with the juxtaposition (maybe collaging is a better word) inherent in her work. She floats a line between the technical (“nerdy” she calls it) structure of the high class DJ world, but forgoes rules and imbues her work with found sounds, delightful dance breaks, and the carefree approach of a true artist. Born in Lima, Peru, Kourtesis moved to Berlin in her late teens, and that duality is at the core of what makes Madres so inspiring. She talks about the romanticism of her Peruvian heart, the silliness, the yearning, the sea, the airy nonsense, floating away. When those feelings meet the all-business practicality of her new German home, the work ethic, the structure, the magic of Madres is born. Long ago, I made my best friend Stephen a mixtape inspired by a line in the movie “Interstellar” about a similar juxtaposition between “The Dirt & The Stars.” The idea is simple, our work is here on earth, in the dirt, hands always filthy, digging away at finding our place in the rocks & trees, grass & sea. But to let our eyes drift to the stars, to float, like Kourtesis’ airborne acrobatics, to dream about another life beyond this one, is at the root of what makes us human. To dream about what’s out there. To wonder what it must be like to fly like Peter Pan through a night sky full of stars, these things can, and (to people like me and my friend Stephen - and my friend Sofia!) MUST coexist. We must hold both at the same time. We must try to be the best person we can, both at digging in the dirt… AND sailing in the stars! 

Madres is dedicated to Sofia’s mother, a Peruvian activist in a long line of activists, who taught her to take to the streets, to protest, to rebel, to be yourself, to want more. Somehow I know that Sofia and her mom are the kind of people I want to surround myself with, to look up to, to emulate, to take motivation from. Before her father passed away, he encouraged her to travel, to collage her adventures into the kind of inspirational house music that makes Madres so special. To listen to these songs, you can hear the people. You can hear Sofia’s familial bonds, but also, cultures, rhythms, explorations, adventure. This is the sound of wanting to do better. To be the best version of yourself. When things were dark in November, this album helped with my survival, helped with my sanity, and proved, as track 4 says “How Music Makes You Feel Better.” Go listen to Madres till Spring! Thank you Sofia for being yourself. 

“Vamos vamos para adelante / dime qué está en tu mente / vas a querer hablarme…

Come on, let’s move forward / tell me what’s on your mind / you’re going to want to talk to me…”

*

TRÉ BURT   /   Traffic Fiction

Tré Burt’s magical third album Traffic Fiction opens with one of my favorite lyrics of the year. “In the mind of the wind is where I come from” Burt purrs over the grooviest beat. You can point to a few different “mission statement” lyrics across Traffic (in the reckless “KIDS IN THA YARD” he growls “I do what I want when I’m paying the rent / I’ll never be free, but I can pretend” and in the bittersweet “PIECE OF ME” he confides “Who said it ain’t a love song mama? / More than one thing can be true”) but “TRAFFIC FICTION” is the title track for a reason. Burt has described the idea of “Traffic Fiction” as “the fake problems us humans create for ourselves and subjugate each other to, out of spite, greed, boredom, pain, confusion & ignorance or worse…” How do we ride through those atrocities (as small as traffic and as monstrous as genocide) and do right in the world? How do we eat breakfast when everything is on fire? Personally, I’ve struggled with this all year, but sometimes I need artists like Burt to help explain it to me. When the end comes, we’re gonna need our artists, our creatives, to tell the stories. Legendary author Ursula Le Guin said “We live in capitalism. Its power seems inescapable. So did the divine right of kings. Any human power can be resisted & changed by human beings. Resistance & change often begin in art, and very often in our art, the art of words.” This is why we need artists like Burt to be true to themselves. Everybody has to attack the shit from their deepest, most personal angle. Burt calls Traffic a “romance at the start of the apocalypse” album, and despite the waves of darkness, it’s hard not to hear Burt physically grabbing back his joy in every song. His attack, his writing style, is not of this world. His mind is different. “In the mind of the wind is where I come from.” Burt is a one-of-a-kind generational talent, and when the aliens come, I think I’ll just throw them a burned CD copy of Traffic Fiction, a six pack of mexican beer, and a cigarette. When that alien spaceship speaker sound system blinks on and roars to life, Traffic Fiction sounds for all the world like the grooviest, most monstrous American album I’ve ever heard.

I won’t go deep on genres here, Traffic Fiction mostly just sounds like Tré Burt. He calls it “future doo-wop.” Groovy synths & keys abound, guitars squeal & crash, ripple & stream, and the rhythm section ABSOLUTELY FUCKS. Musically, Fiction sounds exactly like what I want out of a “romance at the start of the apocalypse” record. We’re fucked, let’s dance. Burt steers everything with his detailed, time-traveling songwriting & classic voice. He has a way of making his trademark melancholy melodies feel haunting & bright, like a breezy, early spring afternoon. Originally from northern California and currently based in Nashville, Traffic has an otherworldly vibe that’s hard to pin down. What started as a poem written on a napkin in a Calgary bar, was recorded at a remote lake in Ontario, with Burt referring to the songwriting process as “going down to the caves” and whipping himself into a state of hypnosis to “get to the goo.” These songs ask all-time questions like “If everything’s already been said, then why do I feel so much coming out?” and “What’s in heaven that aint buried in the ground?” In the driving “TOLD YA THEN” Burt laughs “I like a desperate situation, but only the kind where ya win.” and then again on personal fav “SANTIAGO” “I’ve been meaning to forget about all the pain in my heart.” For all the deep, existential, future-alien-doo-wop ideas, Traffic Fiction is rooted in real places & with real people. Santiago in 2022, Decatur, Savannah, Times Square, Wyoming, LA, Ohio, Lillian, Emily, and of course Burt’s grandfather. Fiction is interspersed with recordings of their conversations, before he passed away while Burt was making the album. Musically & lyrically, I can hear Burt’s “pops” all over this record. A future generation being born as another generation dies. The passing of time. 

When the title track (and third single) dropped ON my 37th birthday last Summer, I knew Tré & I were gonna be bonded forever. Bonded by the Summer heat, sweat & Modelos, the river & the romance at the start of the apocalypse. It began when I saw him live for the first time ON my 35th birthday in rugged northern Colorado back in 2021. Then, on the eve of my 36th bday, I saw his afternoon set at Hinterlands Festival in Iowa. For my 37th bday, all I could do was spin “TRAFFIC FICTION” on repeat, sitting in the creek at my secret spot, drinking Tecate and feeling young & old. Turns out Traffic Fiction is the album that I think I’m gonna need most in 2024. I’m working hard on taking some of Tre’s teachings to heart, trying to take a little joy into this next year, knowing that I’ll be a stronger person for it. Better able to fight those atrocities, better able to handle the “traffic.” You gotta be yourself first and love yourself. If you’ve read this far, you know that 2023 was sad & hard and I often felt helpless & selfish, unable to fight to change the world. Unable or unwilling to make a difference to the people & causes that I claim to care about. Traffic Fiction gives me the energy to work against those feelings. Ammunition to fight darkness with dancing. To embrace the apocalypse with romance. To commit to changing myself. It catches me with the car windows down, warm breeze in January, belting “I found a lighter in my coat!” It catches me dancing in my kitchen at dusk. It catches me starting to believe. Thanks Tré, I’m never letting this one go. 

“Put the fine for the bridge on the dash for the judge / let it burn like a witch in the rhinestone sun / every mile every mile I’mma get reborn / but I’m dying by the minute good lord / move move moving, never going back / silver moon is looming, sky is black / I’m a soul on parole in a desert land / thrown back into prison and damned by the damned…”

*

TYPHOON   /   White Lighter (10th Anniversary Edition)

“In the beginning there was one source of light” So begins Typhoon’s masterpiece 2013 album White Lighter. A grand stage that finds this album traversing galaxies & centuries. The orchestral, mini-epic opener “Artificial Light” is one of my favorite songs of all time. Frontman Kyle Morton skips through eons of time, touching on particle physics and prehistoric cave drawings, before finding himself as a kid, standing in the yard, pointing up at the stars. We’ll revisit that kid a few times across these 14 songs, White Lighter is still singing us stories about youth & aging, time & place, death… and survival. Over the past 10 years, I have lived what feels like a lifetime. I have changed more than I would have thought possible. But I have also remained the same. From the first time I heard Typhoon, I have been hooked. This band & this album represent so much of who I am… and who I was… and I guess who I’m going to be. Although this list is usually about the new, it’s impossible for me not to pay homage to one of my favorite albums of all time. If you’ve asked me the impossible question in the last 7 years “who’s your favorite band” I probably gave you a cutesy spiel about finding new & upcoming songwriters whose writing style made me feel understood, emo hippie lyrics over sad-ish, complex indie rock, but always about the lyrics. But if I had to relent and pick one band, I probably said Typhoon. If you asked me what my favorite album of all time is, I probably said White LIghter. The older I get and the deeper I fall in love with music; the more this collection of songs means to me, and the more I cling to Typhoon’s ragged declaration of youth & survival. 

If you’re unfamiliar, Typhoon started as the greatest of rag-tag, underdog indie folk-rock bands. 13 kids packed on a stage, from Portland Oregon to Larimer Lounge & Hi-Dive, to Bluebird & Gothic, making a ruckus, singing their hearts out for us. You can find me extolling my love for White Lighter 10 years ago, and making myself insanely detailed handmade mixtapes celebrating their discography! Typhoon lyrics are tattooed on my heart & brain, always helping me through challenges, always making me feel young again. When they announced the deluxe 10 year anniversary edition of White Lighter (and a couple reunion shows, see ya in Portland in a month and a half!) the only “unreleased” song I really needed was “Reed Rd.” When I saw them at the sold out Hi-DIve show in 2013 (one of my favorite live experiences of all time) they closed with a new song I had never heard. I was eventually able to rip a live version from youtube, and for years, my personal burned copy of White Lighter tacked on a bonus hidden track after “Post Script.” The shitty yet raging “Reed Rd” made this the definitive version of the album. The song that closes White Lighter’s memory loop. A stoic, horn blast, a swelling elegy, death & life & the end of the world. “You were born in a hospital bed” begins Morton gently “you will return to a hospital bed my friend.” This is a song about dying. “Life’s a beast that shits & eats from the same end.” But there is so much more than death “Get the keys, we’re gonna go for a ride!” From there the song rattles along through a lifetime of memories. Maybe my last 10 years, maybe my whole life. Like a film strip Morton lists them off as they pass. Places: the house you were raised in, the yard where you played (and pointed out the stars remember?), the school that taught you to talk, and people: your friends & your lovers, people you hate, mothers & fathers, brothers & sisters. In the end, “Reed Rd” drives through the night, covering miles in the darkness, before rising in a cacophony, a horror movie ending full of fire & light, moths & death & madness, a scene so terrifying you almost can’t watch. The band fever pitches, wailing behind him as Morton stumbles on, finally ripping himself away, begging & pleading & making a stand for himself. “I walked away from the fire” he declares “I found myself in the orchard.” And then, after all the years, decades, centuries, eons of failure & frustration, he stands “I came to take up your offer… to no longer be tortured!”

As the insane energy of “Reed Rd” slowly fades, the chaos of growing up & growing old has often found me in a parked car after dark, blasting White Lighter into the night. As quickly as the last track ends, you can start the CD again. Typhoon wakes up. “In the beginning…” Is this youth? Or are we old? The years flow in decade cycles. The older I get, the younger I feel. “I woke up in the morning to a pale light tangled in your hair” Morton whispers. Holding onto memories & moments (a favorite pastime of mine) Morton confides “I would try to hold it. I would try to keep the moment. Like a photograph of the sunset. Like a little kid with a bug net. Like a dying man I swear.” and then, as Typhoon’s orchestra swells & crashes behind him “Light goes off… Comes back on… I’ll be here, In my familiar haunts. Empty jars & stolen songs, wait for the light to come back on…” So here I am. Listening to the same 10 year old songs. Trying to keep the moment. Waiting for the light to come back on. I look forward to 10 years from now. Who I am.. Who I’m gonna be… Growing up & growing old. Remembering those nights when I took up your offer. To no longer be tortured. Songs to hold & keep me. Songs to lead & guide me. My eyes are on the flame. It’s just a little white lighter. 

“Oh what am I waiting for? / a spell to be cast or for it to be broken? / at the very last / some wild ghost from my past comes to split me wide open… / I’ve been trying to make myself better…”

*

Y LA BAMBA   /   Lucha

Y La Bamba’s seventh full length record Lucha is a magical collection of songs; lush & full of life, swirling Mexican folk-rock, mesmerizing & memorable. Y La Bamba is the long time project of Luz Elena Mendoza Ramos, based between the Pacific Northwest & Mexico City, gradually growing, always expansive, and one of my long-time favorite bands! It’s hard to remember exactly when or where I first heard about Y La Bamba, but I have a hunch it was through boutique record label and music store Tender Loving Empire in Portland. But more on that later!. 

Lucha finds Luz coming into their own, writing powerful lyrics over delightfully dreamy melodies, lyrics gently unpacking ideas of identity & trauma, misogyny & racism. As with many artists on this list, it is always eye opening and educational to read lyrics & interviews, to actually listen, and to learn about struggles that I personally will never have to face. Mendoza Ramos is open about those struggles and their trauma, and Lucha is an open invitation to work on those conversations. It also reminds me that I really want to learn Spanish! The heart-aching Hank Williams cover “I’m So Lonesome I Could Cry” is one of the few songs sung in English. “Lucha” is Spanish for “fight,” but it is also an endearing nickname that Mendoza Ramos has claimed over the years. Luz has also taken over production duties on Lucha, and their fingerprints are all over the album, filling it with life, love & care. This is the fullest Y La Bamba has ever sounded; deep & complex, songs bursting with rhythms & sound, tropical bird chirps, rainstorms, summer wind & waves. The songs blend silkily into each other, warm spring mornings awash in sunlight, streaming creek beds full of snowmelt, late night red wine & mezcal, cascading thoughts & memories, black & white photos and vivid color palettes. 

As we reach the end of my annual favorite albums list, it’s cool to see the similarities in so many of these albums. Lucha’s ambient, tropical found sounds echo No-No Boy, Angie McMahon, Sofia Kourtesis, & King Tuff. Their songwriting AND production prowess echoes Becca Mancari & Black Belt Eagle Scout. The connections through over a decade of my music loving & searching, are deep. In the Winter of 2012, my dear friend Malachi had just moved to Portland and he gave me TLE’s Friends & Friends of Friends mixtape Vol 4. It opened with Typhoon’s “The Honest Truth” and track 3 was Y La Bamba’s “Abducted” off their 2010 album Lupon. SInce then, every time I visit Portland (and it’s in the double digits, see ya in march PDX!) I would go into TLE, buy postcards, weird art, patches, christmas presents, and ALWAYS… music! I now own Y La Bamba’s entire discography on CD simply from buying them one at a time, years apart, from TLE. I listened mostly as background music, dreamy & warm when it’s cold outside, moodsetters on my little portable boombox as I moved apartments from 32nd & Lowell, to Colfax & Logan, then into the heart of Cap Hill at 12th & Marion, and finally to now, 11th & Clarkson. In 2015, in the midst of a career & life crisis, I applied for a job at TLE, scared to get it, scared to move forward, scared to move at all. Fortunately or unfortunately, I didn’t get that job, but when I finally FINALLY quit my corporate job in 2021 to start from the ground up working in music, I was asked to work my first shift in music at Larimer Lounge immediately after I got hired. The show was sold out and magical, the band was Y La Bamba.

"Estaba muy confundida por los recuerdos / de un triste ayer / todo de color azul / de color amarillo..."

"I was very confused by the memories / from a sad yesterday / all blue & all yellow..."

EP BONUS

DUNUMS & MANAS   /   DUNUMS & MANAS

Blown out live noise, only available on bandcamp. Dunums is a wild, majestic band I was lucky enough to see at Hopscotch last year. 

HEMLOCKE SPRINGS   /   going…going…GONE!

80’s Tears For Fears magic meets TikTok, heart on sleeve silly songwriting. So catchy!

ICE SPICE   /   Like..?

Catchy trap beats and Ice Spice bringing some much needed feral, laugh out loud, sexy energy to this list.

MEDIUM BUILD   /   Health EP

Songs about your hometown & your lifelong best friends. One of my most favorite Globe Hall shows of 2023.

NABIHAH IQBAL   /   Far Out (Audiotree Sessions)

Her album Dreamer should’ve been on my full list, but I discovered this too late so oh well, these two songs are magic. Her Lost Lake show a week ago was special.

SYLVAN ESSO   /   Live At Electric Lady

What I wouldn’t give for a full band Sylvan Esso album. “Coming Back To You” at Red Rocks with my sisters in the rain made my year.

*

Till next year! Music marks time & space...

[oh-phineas]

Thursday, November 30 -- SWYNRP Character Wishlist: A list of 10+ characters you’d like to see in the RP (for you to play or someone else!)

Soooooo, to be honest, I still feel VERY strongly about the majority of my suggestions last year and I couldn't bear to not include them. But I didn't want to cheat by literally copy/pasting last year's task so you will find them at the end. Let's goooo!

Luz Noceda

So I haven't actually watched much of the Owl House (Like... 2 episodes maybe) and therefore I am not the person to bring this character, but I just thought Luz was so adorable and so relatable I mean she is a fangirl just like us!!! And she would fit in perfectly at Pride U her story is so easy to adapt to Swynlake. We have so many awesome TOH people and I just think we should have our protagonist!!

FC idea: I think it's been said before but cutest girly ever Madison Reyes

2. Koda and Kenai

I went through this phase (probably inspired by TLOU tbh) where I really loved the idea of like Koda and Kenai from Brother Bear as a duo that wound up together because they were both hitchhiking across the US (Koda looking for his mom, Kenai looking for someone to break his curse) and it turns out Kenai killed Koda's mom!!!! That would be crazy right? Maybe somehow they end up in Swynlake and run out of money and otherwise get stuck here, and eventually the truth comes out about Koda's mom.... listen I just love Brother Bear and I love found family and I love a sibling-type relationship where one of them is a little shithead because they're hiding how they're actually really hurt and the other is a grump it's always just so fun. Someone take this idea away from me please.

I don't have FC suggestions off the top of my head but I highly recommend talking to Mak, the FC wizard, if that is a concern!!!

3. Izzy Hawthorne

I just think the Swynlake Rangers have a lot of potential (especially if it's like in Lightyear where the group is kind of a joke lmao and maybe even one or two of them are actually just there for court mandated community service). I love an idealist and a disney protag type girly with big dreams and I just think she'd be so much fun!!

FC idea: Jasmine Savoy Brown

4. Mama Odie

I think Mama Odie could be a lot of fun. She's a character with a sense of humor in the movie, she enjoys being kind of cryptic and even though she helps people she always makes them work for it. And I just think it'd be interesting to have her around and kind of challenge Tiana's ideas about New Orleans and what it was like being a Mundus vs. a Magick living there. And maybe could incorporate some stuff about her dad and the RAS? Idk just a thought!!

5. Collette

Another selfish Tiana connection request lol but PLZ. Let's do French cooking vs Cajun cooking! Let's do fine dining versus mid level dining! Let's do THE BEAR AU!!!! YES CHEF THANK YOU CHEF!!!!

FC Idea: Greta Lee I mean COME ON!!!! Have you ever seen a more Collette FC in your life.

6. Joe Gardner

I am simply a sucker for a story about ~what it means to live a good life~. I like the idea that Joe gets to come back and he's so determined to be a famous musician and then he realizes what makes a good life is the friends he made along the way etc. I also just want more Soul characters lmao. I love u Joe <3

FC idea: Michael B Jordan yes sir plz come teach me about music I'm listening

7. Bonnie and Forky

Sorry I just think this is the craziest and funniest idea I ever had. Like we all know what it's like to be under pressure as a creative but what if you were under so much pressure that your demon friend's life depended your ability to produce??? I just think it could be a really fun satire on like hustle culture especially in the creative world and I also think Forky is a hilarious character and I need someone to bring this.

Bonnie: I think Haley Lu Richardson has the what-the-fuck-have-I-done energy lmaooo

Forky: Pete Davidson because it would be funny

8. YUBABA PLZ

I am once again asking for an evil sorcerer... And c'mon wouldn't it be fun to join the 50+ Ladies Who Slay club... Seriously I have plot ideas for you I'm not even kidding plus we could even get a Zeniba and do the whole rivalry thing it would be great just trust me

Again no FCs off the top of my head but happy to help you hunt

9. PJ from a Goofy Movie

I love a sweet gentle boy and so do you. Ngl the majority of this idea is simply my love of the character Cheese in Reservation Dogs the sweetest person ever plz watch the show if you haven't... but yeah please someone get PJ and use Lane Factor as the FC

10. Cruella De Vil

Come onnnn, join the hunters, you know you want to!!! Cruella is a truly heinous villain but she also is a villain who slays. She would be so fun like just imagine her rubbing shoulders with Gen or making deals with Smee! She brings her own fabulous flair to the shady world of poaching and I would like to see it.

FC idea: Taraji P Henson

IDEAS FROM LAST YEAR THAT I STILL STAND BY

The Potato Heads as a couple that adopts triplets and then discovers they are actually powerful Magicks!

Mr. Potato Head as David Harbour

Mrs. Potato Head as Jennifer Coolidge

Massimo from Luca as Matty Matheson, a hunter who just does it because it's the only way he knows how to support his family

Dr Facilier as Jacob Anderson but he's a misunderstood guy who just got driven away bc people didn't trust his magic

Missy Fritter as Lea DeLaria

Or Melanie Field for a younger casting!

Darren Barnet as Jackson Storm

Jacob Elordi as Hans sorry Laur

And now for some FCs I would like to see.......

D'Pharaoh Woon-A-Tai

Teyonah Paris

Will Sharpe

Hari Nef

Rachel Sennott

Melanie Lynskey

Megan Suri

Ncuti Gatwa

alright that's all i got, please get these characters!!!

#swynwrimoemma #swynwrimo2023 #WE DID IT!!!

[thornappleworld]

Capture the Noise

Andrea Gallego always knew that she wanted to travel the world and that she loved sound. She always had a knack for recording and mixing soundscapes that capture a moment or set a mood. Her skill for finding, catching, and combining sound took her to a college for the arts where she met newlyweds Doug and Terri, both of whom would become musicians. Terri composed for orchestras, and Doug played guitar for a band you've definitely heard of.

Sometimes one or both of the couple would come home from a tour to find Andrea on their couch, or in their studio, putting together a package for a client or mixing her newest finds into her own underground DJ side hustle. She'd often stay at their house whenever she wasn't off in some far-flung corner of the world “finding the noise” for someone. Most of the more famous documentaries and even a few main-stream movies had her name buried in the credits. She loved her adventurous, chaotic lifestyle.

One autumn morning they woke up to find Andrea had returned from another one of her journeys during the night. She was excited in a way that they'd never seen her be before. Over waffles and coffee she told them about her recent trip to Tibet. There was an ancient Buddhist monastery that someone had somehow bought, tore down and built a factory on the spot. Other monasteries wanted her to record their chanting and mix it into music to raise funds to petition to have it removed.

She was on a mountainside recording ambient sounds of local wildlife when this amber-violet light pulsed across the sky and she heard a sound... no, a Song. It absolutely changed the way she thought about everything. She truly understood how we're all truly connected, not just humans, but all plants, animals, rocks, the sky, all of it is one great organ functioning in perfect balance. If only she could share this sound with the world, she could change everything!

Of course they wanted to hear it. They were dubious at best, but Andrea was insistent and curiosity won out. She had a good, clear recording of it, but she admitted that it wasn't the same as experiencing it live. As she put it, “if you can't watch the sunrise, a video will have to do”.

She played The Song for her curious hosts. Their responses couldn't have been more different. Doug was stricken with such an intense anxiety that he barely made it to a nearby trash can to vomit. Terri also had a deep response, but also it intrigued her. More thrill than fear.

Andrea still felt the sound could heal the world, she just had to introduce it in small bites. The solution was simple; she mixed it into her music. With Terri's help (when Doug wasn't around) they composed an entire album that sneaked the sound in. Andrea would perform in underground clubs and at abandoned warehouses. Terri never missed a show.

The next year was a whirlwind. Andrea blew up. Copies of her original recording were even less potent, but still it was enough. Her tracks went viral, and she played bigger venues due to the crowds. She saw more and more familiar faces at her shows. Eventually hiring private security to handle the stalkers. Terri was also listening to the Song obsessively. She'd play it on loop over her headphones. Eventually she quit her job so she could focus on the Song. Doug didn't understand what was happening and asked her to to “delete that noise”. They separated after that.

“Capture the Noise” was to be their biggest show yet with a hundred thousand tickets sold. It was to take place in the sparsely populated Harding County, New Mexico. They took a lot of inspiration from Burning Man., building a massive temporary city.

Meanwhile, Doug was in touch with the Society of the Glass Scorpion, a group that already knew things both terrible and terrific about the Song. No one knew the whole truth, but they did know that the performers were about to tap into something truly alien. He had failed to convince them to stop the show, or at least not play the Song. In the end, he covertly showed up in Harding that night with a few dozen Scorpions set to commit sabotage.

When the beat started, the entire sea people grew still and silent. Those opening notes weaving in and out of a base rhythm were like a spirit wafting among the trees of a sacred forest. A requiem about isolation and longing to connect left people openly weeping in the makeshift streets. All the world was tears and dust. The still silence for a mere moment that felt like an eternity. Hearts dared not twitch as the tension built up so thick that the air grew hazy and the sun grew dim. The beat dropping was divine relief, a storm after centuries of drought. Everyone danced. They couldn't not dance. The very old danced very young danced, security, technicians, even Doug and the Scorpions danced. Broken hearts healed and whole ones shattered. It was raw, it was powerful, it was human in a way that transcended all barriers. Lives are formed around moments like that first deep tone.

That energy was sustained throughout sunset, half-light, and well beyond moonrise. The amber-violet light emanating from everyone's body felt natural. When they finally played that original unmixed recording of the Song, Terri felt moved to get onstage and sing along. Somewhere in the outer edges of the crowd, Doug remembered himself, screamed, and ran for the stage. His colleagues grabbed him and forced him back, eventually knocking him out. They tried in vein to get as many dancers as they could to run. The sacred light gathered around Terri as she perfectly matched the pitch and tone of the Song. A doorway to something beyond reckoning formed around her. Terri also screamed, but no one heard it.

All electronics suddenly shut down, plunging everyone into darkest night with the single exception of the amber-violet light radiating from the stage. After a moment's silence, pregnant with ominous primal dread in stark contrast to the start of the show, a cacophony of blood, ranting prophecies, and worse things seemingly spewed from every hole in the bodies of everyone nearest the stage. Fully a quarter of the audience who wanted only to be so close before. In seconds they found peace when they all simply dropped dead, rancid smoke rising from their burnt-out heads. The mass rambling and wailing continued with the next population of people out. They didn't seem to notice that their eyes and ears had burst, each trying to out talk the other fifteen thousand people in that wave. Eventually, even death would find difficulty silencing them.

Beyond that, mere terrified screams. A still larger ring containing a crowd of twenty five thousand were first awestruck with lesser versions of the same strange visions that the unfortunate souls before them had, then the horror as they realized that they were suddenly blinded and deafened. Mass panic was the obvious result. Many froze in place or began feeling around. Others simply ran, crashing into everyone else, adding to the chaos. Everyone else in the crowd was likewise granted visions, though only as intense as a true waking dream. Their hearing was pure tinnitus. Through eyes that refused to focus, they instinctively knew the source of their panic and pain had to do with the light in the center of the group.

Andrea watched the scene of biblical horror unfold before her. Stunned with terror and confusion, it was a full minute before she realized that Terri wasn't surrounded by a transcendental formless swirling light, but had been replaced by an intensely bright mass about the size of a beach ball floating about three feet above the stage. It was her shoes and one sock still smoldering beneath it that caused it to sink in. She had no idea why she herself was spared, seemingly unharmed.

When the vision ended, Doug opened his eyes and wasted a few moments trying to get them to focus. He could only hear a high pitched whine and the fading echo of the most beautiful sound anyone had ever heard. Then came a voice from inside his head, a bit distorted, but it was Terri. She was screaming as if in agony and begging for help. He ducked into a nearby minivan as the first wall of runners trampled each other in a human stampede. When it seemed that the worst of it had passed, he began to fight his way to the stage. Even with impaired vision, he was able to track the source of Terri's voice. Even if he wasn't somehow hearing her, the light and dread emanating from that spot was easy to find. He was surprised when he heard Andrea's voice while she helped him climb onto the platform.

She was surprised when Doug stumbled to the massive speakers, grabbed a cable, and dived into the light. Waves of heat and cold emanated from the doorway like ripples in water. She heard Doug's voice in her head.

“Pull us out!”

Andrea grabbed the cable and pulled as hard as she could, but it wouldn't move.

“I Can't!” she yelled into the air.

He replied “Okay, hold on... try it now.”

She tried again, slow progress this time. She pulled with all her might. Soon, with a thump, Terri's body landed on the stage, the cable tied around her waste.

Doug's voice continued in Andrea's head. “Did it work?”

She approached the light and dropped to her knees beside the charred, frozen corpse. “Yeah... but Doug, she's dead.”

“I wish you never recorded that fucking noise.”

“Yeah, me too.”

“Get me out of here.”

She tried to throw the cable into the light, just for it to fall through. She was still trying over and over, when the helicopter approached and found a fixed position above her. She was still staring in disbelief and apologizing to a voice only she could hear when the tranquilizer dart sank into her neck. The scorpions took her, Terri, the recording, as many victims as they could, and were gone before the authorities arrived.

Within a week a tower was constructed around the light, as well as temporary housing for all surviving ravers that hadn't yet been interviewed. The official story is that a politically motivated terrorist cell used homemade bombs and semi-automatic weapons. Out in the desert, the FBI couldn't get there in time. There were no survivors. The terrorists, of course, officially died resisting arrest. The numbers were played down on the news and was all but forgotten in a few months.

Andrea also officially died that day. The Society of the Glass Scorpion keeps a comfortable cell for “Subject 942719”, but everyone calls them Gallego. They're a quick study, and can process information twice as fast as before. They're is still undergoing two types of intense trauma counseling, but is considered to be friendly and an excellent resource on music and mixing, benefit of two lifetimes of experience. It's a little unsettling to watch him and her discuss things or even argue, but one does get used to it.

They play the guitar like they're in that band you've definitely heard of.

#Eldritch #Cosmic Horror #Horror #setting #WIP #fantasy #surreal #rave

[theherosreturn]

(G.A.M.M.A. knew that in truth, Code Stringer was willingly grouping the truly innocent (unaware as well, in many cases) with the cruel when it came to humanity to justify his lust for control and power. Thus, he silently dodged the attack, and went on the attack, opting evasion and hit-and-run tactics…with the others also doing so, hoping to confuse Code Stringer as the tyrannical A.I. focused solely on G.A.M.M.A. and the Diamond Weapon. Meanwhile, C would prove that she wasn’t just lucky that time, and would prove a match for Toxitron. The other two bots would try and follow the heroes, but one would be stopped by a crafty Sorbet, leaving the last bot for some of the other heroes. Those who didn’t fight went to sabotage the place, part of the plan being to make it set so their efforts would ultimately weaken vital parts of the factory to make it easier for Vayu to later make the whole place collapse in on itself)

*After V had managed to stab the Obsidian Weapon then did Code Stringer realized what was going on*

Code Stringer: Creating copies of the weapons to face me? Clever...But this will not save you from the inevitable destruction...Not when I shift into Maximum Overdrive~! *He had suddenly began using Fire Aether to turn the giant Railgun into a plasma flamethrower...He must've been inspired by Uzi's Glyph Card reader and decided to create his own much more destructive version*

(Meanwhile with The others)

*When Jackrow and his team got more closer to where Code Stringer was while Ross and his group were busy sabotaging everything, their way was blocked off by The Cloaked Drone and her army of Droid units*

Shadow Drone: I'm afraid I cannot let you go through...But my master has given me orders to collect both Serial designation C and Uzi alive...

#Multiversal Fusion #adventureverse #Chaos-verse