#but it continues to be one of the funniest things to be directed at me on this hellsite

[cobrakaisb]

day 'n' nite

summary: every friday night, like clockwork, the older counselors and campers waste their nights away at a party. usually you’re the one taking care of luke but tonight the roles are reversed and all the cards are laid out on the table.

word count: 3.1k

featuring: drunk!reader, happy luke + reader (hence the happy luke picture in the header), them being giggly and in love, a little sad at the end (but only a teeny tiny bit)

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giggles tumble out of your mouth, filling the already loud atmosphere with your pure joy. you clutch onto katrina’s arm, pulling her flush against your side, as your cheek rests on her bicep. she laughs at you, moving her arm to support your weight. 

you gasp, loudly, as her hand rests gently on your waist. “i have a boyfriend,” you snap, suddenly able to hold yourself up.

you stand, albeit a bit slowly, and move away from the girl. she does her best to hide her laughter, but fails. her laugh, however, builds up more anger in your chest, and you cross your arms.    

“oh he’s your boyfriend now? i thought you two didn’t do labels,” katrina teases.

you pout at her words, answering, “well luke says that not me. everyone knows we’re together.” 

“who’s together?” jade, a girl from the apollo cabin asks, sliding into the spot next to katrina.

you throw a nasty look in her direction, or what you assume is a nasty look. even in your inebriated state, you know that jade can’t be trusted. she was one of the first campers to hate on you, and she’s one of the few that continue to do so. once the novelty of hera having a demigod child wore off, most people left you to your own devices. there were still the occasional whispers and rumors, but jade and her friend group always seemed to be behind them. 

“none of your business,” you snap, turning your nose up at her like a fifth grader. 

she scoffs at you, “ugh whatever,” and walks away. 

you smile, a satisfied look on your face as you reclaim your seat next to katrina. she’s holding onto two cups, and you’re positive that one of them belongs to you. you reach for one of them, but she pulls it away, lifting it just out of your reach.

“i think you need a break,” she says, voice soft and caring.

“no ‘m fine,” you mumble, trying to reach for the cup again but completely missing. 

that’s the funniest thing in the world, and you burst into another giggling fit. katrina stares at you, a soft smile on her face. your hand comes up to cover your mouth, but your shoulders continue to shake with, now somewhat stifled, laughter. you can’t even register what’s so funny, but everything seems to have you in a giggly mood. one that only gets worse when luke walks across the way, followed by a group of boys who you know to be his friends.

“luke looks like a dragon prince,” you announce, pointing in his direction. 

katrina chuckles at your words; they make no sense. you, however, think they’re the most accurate description in the world. the orange and red hues from the large fire pit, courtesy of cabin nine, illuminate his features. he’s laughing at something one of his friends said, but his eyes are still deep and serious. the white scar tracing down his cheek shines brightly in the dark, and you wonder if landon knows he hurt his king. 

luke feels your eyes on him, because he turns and meets your gaze, smiling at you. you gasp as he throws you a subtle nod, like something out of a teen movie. your right hand clutches at katrina’s shirt sleeve, and you shake the material vigorously between your fingers. she looks to you, and notices the deep flush and dilated pupils. 

“he’s looking at me. i think he has a crush on me. oh my gods what do i do? i know my mother’s the goddess of marriage, but i’m not ready for this,” you ramble.

katrina laughs, again. luke looks your way, again. you start to panic, again. 

“relax,” katrina says, “he’s your boyfriend.” 

her tone is teasing, but you don’t pick up on it. all you feel is shock. your mouth falls open, and your head swivels between the curly headed boy and your best friend. 

“you’re lying,” you conclude. 

katrina shakes her head, “i’m not.” 

before you can refute her claims, the dragon king himself is in front of you. he slides into the empty seat on your left hand side, throwing his arm casually over your shoulder. there’s a can of something in his other hand, and he lifts it up to his mouth for a swig. you watch, with deep fascination, as his adam’s apple bobs while he swallows the liquid. when he’s done, he leans down to your ear, lips ghosting over the piercings that adorn it. 

“hi,” he whispers, pulling at your golden hoop helix piercing with his teeth.

you're stunned into silence. all that you can muster is a small gasp, and you turn to katrina, wondering what you should do. she’s already staring at you, but so are these other two guys, and a girl who you barely recognize. you point to luke with your thumb, asking a silent question. katrina nods, and one of the guys, another brunette, hides his laugh behind a red solo cup. 

you turn your head again, making eye contact with the cute guy next to you. you just stare at him for a while, and he holds your gaze the whole time. his right hand, you realize, is tracing circles on your exposed shoulder. the pad of his thumb is calloused and rough against your soft skin, but you like to contrast. you lean into his touch, shifting closer to him on the wooden bench. 

“ouch,” you mumble, lifting up your hand. 

“what’s wrong?” he asks, eyebrows furrowing in concern.

“i think i got a splinter,” you explain, holding up your palm for him to see. 

he inspects your hand, and there’s absolutely nothing there, but replies, “don’t worry. i’ll take you to the infirmary tomorrow.”

you nod, and he kisses your palm, right where the supposed splinter is. his lips are soft, you think, but then why is everyone giggling? you look around, but none of the four people surrounding the two of you provide any sort of explanation. 

“i know. my girlfriend makes me use this lip balm she really likes,” he says, and you’re still confused. 

“huh?” you ask, head tilting. 

“my girlfriend gave me this lip balm. it’s from glossy or something,” he answers, holding up the tube. 

you snatch it from him, looking at the label. even drunk, you know a high quality lip balm when you see one. 

“glossier! i love it there,” you exclaim.

everyone laughs again, even the boy next to you this time. you look at him, a shy smile on your face, as you unscrew the cap. you squeeze the tube, and lift the lip balm to your puckered lips. you rub them together, smacking them a couple times. luke doesn’t take his eyes off you; you don’t take your eyes off him. 

there’s relatively no distance between you two now, but you can’t bring yourself to care. luke doesn’t seem to mind either as he shifts his arm and way that pulls your body even closer to his. the little space that remained is gone, and your thighs are pressed together. you want to be touching him in some way, and lift your left leg to drape over his right one. you nudge his left calf with your converse, gaining his attention. you giggle at that, stifling your laughs with his shoulder. 

“she’s gone,” he observes. 

“oh i know,” katrina answers. 

“you smell so good,” you say, adjusting your head so that your cheek rests against him, and your eyes meet his. 

the two boys, the ones who you can’t recognize at the moment, burst out laughing. your eyebrows furrowed at that, a soft huff escaping you as you cross your arms and lean further into luke. you close your eyes for a minute, basking in his warm presence and the smoky undertones emitting from his shirt. 

“how many drinks have you had?” he asks, large hand rubbing up and down your back. 

“two,” you answer confidently, holding up two fingers. 

katrina scoffs, “try three cups of jungle juice and whatever else at the pregame.” 

“you pregamed?” luke asks, voice low against your ear. 

“mhm. cause what if they didn’t have any drinks i liked?” you reply, holding your hands up in defense. 

he chuckles at your words, humming in agreement as he kisses your forehead. that action, for some reason, registers as oddly intimate in your mind, and so you’re pushing him away. in your drunken state, you can't comprehend that he’s your boyfriend.

“i shouldn’t be doing this. katrina says i have a boyfriend,” you slur, shaking your head. 

“no, you said you have a boyfriend,” katrina replies. 

“well either way!” you yell, throwing your hands up in exasperation. 

“isn’t he your boyfriend?” one of the boys asks, pointing to luke.

“he can’t be. he’s too hot,” you answer confidently. 

everyone laughs at that, except for you and luke. luke’s cheeks are flushed red, but he looks at you with nothing but love and adoration in his eyes. he smiles at you, gently shaking his head in disbelief. 

you shrink back into yourself, slouching down in his arms so that the back of your head rests against his shoulder. luke’s hand fiddles with the hem of your jeans, fingers ghosting over your hips, and you squirm. you shove his hand away, covering your face with your own. 

“what’s wrong?” he asks, bending down so only you can hear him.

“i embarrassed myself,” you whine, peeking at him through a gap in your fingers.

luke chuckles, “it’s okay baby. i still love you.” 

you light up at his words, wrapping your arms around his neck. you pull his face down to yours, smacking kisses all over, only stopping to giggle from pure, unfiltered happiness. normally, you save the affection for the private confines of your cabins, but all of your reservations are out the window at the moment. 

luke smiles brightly at your actions, dimples and everything, as he squeezes your hips three times. it’s your silent code, an unspoken way for the two of you to communicate your love and appreciation for one another, and you smile happily at his use of it. you hug him again, burying your face into the crook of his neck. you can tell that he’s been smoking, and maybe that’s why his eyes are a little red-rimmed. you don’t mind, however, and opt to keep your head resting there. his arms wrap securely around you, cradling your body the way someone would hold a toddler. 

“tired?” he asks, rubbing a hand down your back.

you want to say no, but the giant yawn betrays you. 

“c’mon, i’ll bring you to bed,” he says, patting your thigh to signal for you to get up. 

you agree, holding out your hand for him to take. once your fingers are safely stowed away in his palm, you walk up to katrina. 

“goodnight tree,” you mumble, hugging her tightly. 

“g’night,” she replies, squeezing you just as tight.

with that, you let luke lead you towards the hera cabin as you focus on not tripping over your own feet. you stumble on the stairs, and luke squeezes your waist, holding you steady. he’s your rock, and you don’t know what you’d do without him. 

he opens the door, waiting for you to enter the cabin before following. you look around, and your eyes land on the giant statue taking up a majority of the room. you gasp, hands covering your mouth, as you meet your mother’s cold and calculating stare. 

“i don’t think she should be seeing me like this. can we go to your cabin?” you ask, turning to face luke.

“it’s a statue,” luke deadpans, shaking his head.

“but she’s all knowing,” you reply, pointing to the marble goddess. 

“you’re gonna be fine,” luke explains softly. 

you’re eyes are wide, and you continuously shake your head no. you grab onto luke’s hand, intertwining your fingers together. his hand is rough and worn from all the training he does, a testament to how long he’s been at camp. your mind wanders back to his position as king of the dragons, and you want to ask him if his hands are scarred from the claws of a rival. yet, it doesn’t seem appropriate, so you keep your mouth shut. 

“where’s you toiletry bag?” luke ask, letting go of you hand as he wanders around the cabin. 

“i don’t know,” you answer, following him towards the area you’ve deemed your bed. 

he huffs, standing back from the bed to monitor the situation. his hands are on his hips, eyes scanning the area for your bag with makeup remover, skincare, and other bathroom necessities. you find the pose extremely comical, and laugh. he looks at you over his shoulder, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 

“what’s so funny?” he asks.

“you look like my dad,” you wheeze. 

he pauses, mouth agape like a fish out of water. he opens and closes his mouth a couple of times, but ultimately comes up empty handed. just when it seems like he’s about to say something, you’re bounding over to your bedside table, grabbing a bag that’s clearly overloaded. 

“found it!” you shout. 

luke cringes at the volume, but takes the bag from your hands without further questioning. he marches over to your closet, the one he helped you set up, and grabs a small towel from one of the shelves. you smile at him. he’s so endearing, you think, how’d i get so lucky?

“let’s go to the bathroom,” he says, tilting his head towards the door of your cabin.

you nod in agreement, taking his outstretched hand. luke smiles at you, allowing you to lead the way, despite your drunken state. he admires your beauty in the moment, although he knows you’d argue you’re anything but. your makeup is messy, your cheeks are flushed from all the alcohol, and your top is falling off your shoulder, yet he still believes that you can rival aphrodite. he shouldn’t think that, he realizes, as she’s one of the only gods he still prays to, but he does. 

the two of you enter the bathroom, and you're surprised by how empty it is. however, the peace and quiet is nice for a usually chaotic space. you decide on a mirror and sink in the middle of the collection, and turn to face luke, waiting for his approval. when he sets the bag down, and removes the towel from his shoulder, you know you’ve made a good choice. 

“alright, let’s take your makeup off,” he says, patting the small of your back. 

you fumble with the zipper of your pouch, trying and failing to get the bag opened. you pout, holding it out to luke, with a pleading look in your eyes. 

“i’ll help you. you want to sit on the counter?” he asks.

you nod, and turn around so your back is towards the sink and mirrors. you brace yourself, ready to test your physical strength in your drunken state. you fail the first attempt, not even making it onto the ledge. luke watches, amusement clear in his eyes, because it’s not like you to ask for help. 

“need a hand?” 

“no i can do it! i’m a demigod,” you answer, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. 

he chuckles at your response, but goes back to digging through your bag for the cotton pads and micellar water. he also takes out your face wash, moisturizer, toothbrush, toothpaste, and other skin care items he thinks you might need. 

“luke,” you whisper, tugging on his sleeve. 

he hums in acknowledgment, turning away from the array of products to face you. 

“help?” you ask with a shy smile. 

“i thought you didn’t need it, cause your a demigod,” he teases, crossing his arms. 

you’re drawn to his muscles, flexing against his tee and you’re temporarily left speechless. he’s just so hot, you think. 

“gods i hope my mom answers my prayers,” you blurt out. 

“about what?” 

“us getting married. i really want to. i think…if we were in vegas, i’d drag you down to the chapel,” you reply. 

luke’s mouth drops open in shock, “you think about marrying me?”

“nonstop,” you answer, finally climbing onto the counter. 

he stands there for a minute, unsure of what to say or do. all he knows is that he thinks about getting married to you too. he envisions you, regal as ever, like the true daughter of the queen of the gods, walking towards him down an aisle. it’d be small. you, him, and a handful of close friends, but every single part of it would be meaningful. 

“let’s get you ready for bed,” he says, changing the conversation. 

“okay!” 

it takes him much longer than usual to get you through your bedtime routine, but he doesn’t mind if you don’t. and, you seem pretty content right now. you’re smiling and giggling, making goofy faces at him in the mirror with toothpaste smeared on your chin and a fluffy headband keeping your hair at bay. the whole scene feels oddly domestic, especially when he takes your towel and gently wipes the corners of your mouth. it’s serene. it’s perfect. 

“you’re perfect y’know that?” he asks, looking at you earnestly. 

you flush, turning away from him. 

“stop.”

“‘m not lying! you’re perfect for me,” he whispers, cupping your cheeks. 

you pucker your lips, and luke lays a gentle kiss on them. you burst into giggles, engulfing him in a hug. 

“i want to change. come back to my cabin? please?”

he agrees, following you to the end of the earth. it was an easy request, nothing too extraordinary.

“let me get my pajamas, and then i’ll be right back, okay?” he mumbles, kissing your forehead before leaving you alone with the eternal glow of hera’s flames. 

by the time he gets back, you're standing in one of his tee shirts and a pair of sleep shorts. he’s just wearing a tank top and flannel pants, put he comes up behind you to wrap you in his arms. you away for a minute, dancing to a song only you two can hear. then, you wiggle out of his grasp, climb into bed, and pull the covers up to your chin.

“come lie with me,” you beg, patting the spot next to you.

he wraps you up on his arms, pulling you flush against his chest. once your breaths even out, he sneaks out of the bed, waiting just a second to make sure you don’t wake up. quietly, he pulls the candy out of his pocket — two blue raspberry jolly ranchers.

“please hera, let me marry her. aphrodite, keep her by my side, whatever it takes. please.” 

and for the first time in a long time, luke castellan makes a genuine offering.

taglist: @percabethlvr @iwantahockeyhimbo @hottiewifeyyyy @loveryoushouldcomeoverr @maraschinocherry3 @used2beeeeee @harrysnovia @cami-is-reading @mxtokko @cxcilla @obxstiles

#luke castellan #luke castellan x reader #luke castellan x you #luke castellan imagine #luke castellan fluff #luke castellan pjo #all american bitch series #cobrakaisb writing

[devildomditzy]

"Wait, am I your lock screen?" + mammon + 🫣⛈️

His habit of keeping his phone away from you an out of your reach was one you mildly questioned, but ultimately learned to ignore. You figured the second born had something he wanted to keep private, possibly his latest failing stocks, or demanding texts from witches looking for compensation for his less than savory activities.

You ignored it, up until you turned to corner into the student council room, ears picking up several voices loudly talking over each other. Knowing this can only mean one thing, you prepare yourself to become Mammon’s attorney before walking in yourself.

“Ooo my! If it isn’t the person of the hour!”, Asmo coos from his chair, leaning over the edge of the table. “We were just talking about you, hun!”

“Talking about me?”, you ask, eyes circling around the room in both curiosity and confusion. You lock eyes with your first pact mate to ask a silent question, only to find him blushing furiously, attempting to simmer down from something that had just clearly upset him. He locks eyes with you for a brief moment before quickly averting his gaze.

Well, that’s typical. What wasn’t typical was the teasing stares of everyone else in the room, now centered on you.

“Well, we were just finishing up a student council meeting,”Asmo continues. “And you know how Lucifer always takes our D.D.D.’s before hand?”

“Yeah, but what’s that got to do with me?”

“Getting there, darling!”

You once again shift your eyes over to Mammon, who seemed to be having an internal battle with himself. One minute, it looked like he was going to bolt out of the room, the next it seemed he was so frustrated with his brothers that he was choosing to stand his ground.

“Lucifer starting passing them back out afterwards, and I noticed the cutest thing displaying on my dear older brother’s phone!”, Asmo finishes, bringing his cupped hands up to his face, almost as if he was looking at a newborn kitten.

“ROLF, this is super normie of him”, Levi chimes in, not looking up from his game, but still smiling to himself like he had just been told the funniest joke.

“I have to say, I know how idiotic you can be, but I didn’t expect you to display something you vehemently try to hide so prominently.” The smirk on Satan’s face makes you feel uneasy.

You hear a distinct tch come from the direction of the second born, who you now notice was clutching his D.D.D very close to his chest, with his grip tight around it. Like, real tight. Like, his knuckles are going white and you think he might break it tight.

Your eyes jump from brother to brother in confusion. “What are you talking about?”.

Asmo’s grin becomes lethal as he turns back to Mammon. “Weeelllll, go on Mammon. Do you want to tell them, or shall I?”.

You watch as Mammon turns redder somehow, if that was even possible, and starts to stutter. “I-it’s none of your business, okay?”

“Ooohh I beg to differ! I’d think a picture of our dear, dear MC is specifically their business!”, Asmo taunts in a sing song voice.

“A picture of me.. did you like, take an embarrassing picture of me or something?”, you question. Honestly, as much as you love the idiot, you wouldn’t put it above Mammon to blackmail you with an unflattering photo of yourself.

“N-no! It’s not you! I-I mean it is you but it’s not embarrassin’ or anythin’!”.

Oh the poor boy, he looks like he’s going to combust.

“Tick tock!”, Asmo once again pressures him to spit it out.

Mammon shuts his eyes as tight as they can go, and takes a deep breath, opening his mouth to say it before anyone else can-

Beel pipes up from where he’s been quietly munching on some hell newt chips.

“Why does it matter if MC’s his lockscreen?”

Ah. There it is. You watch all the color drain from Mammon’s face. He tenses up, his body language screaming ‘panic’.

“Wait, am I your lockscreen”, you question, hoping he notices your voice doesn’t hold an ounce of teasing, but instead genuine fondness.

His eyes remain trained on the table, his mouth drawn into a tight line, but he stiffly shakes his head in a confirming nod.

“Can I see?”

Mammon slides his D.D.D across the table to where you stand. Clicking on the screen, you see picture of yourself at Devil’s Coast. You’re turned to the side, not quite looking at the camera, but laughing brightly at something. The ferris wheel framed in the background of the shot makes the candid look like something out of a movie. Then it hits you - you’ve. never seen this picture before.

He must have taken it when you weren’t looking.

As laughter erupts throughout the room from his brothers, he’s shocked to not hear yours mixed in with the cacophony l. Instead when you speak, it makes the room go dead silent.

“Mammon… that is so sweet!”, and he can hear the smile in your voice as you run around the table to hand him your own. “Here, look at mine.”

He hesitates for a second, looking up at you for confirmation before taking it. Clicking on the screen, he stares back at a picture of himself. He’s in one of the outfits he wore for Devil Style, so this is definitely from his last shoot, but… this wasn’t professional by any means. It was clearly taken by you, a little shaky and a bit out of center frame, but you must have snapped a picture of him between sets.

And even more so - he’s shirtless in it.

“Ha…HA!”, Mammon exclaims, proudly showing the screen to each and everyone of his brothers. “See that? Of course MC’s got a picture of The Great Mammon as their lockscreen! Makes sense since I’m their first and their favorite!”

“Uggghh, gross”, groans Levi as he stands up to leave, “I knew I should have just went to my room.”

“Aww, MC, why not a picture of me?!”, whines Asmo as he drapes himself over your shoulders, much to Mammon’s annoyance.

“I can’t say that’s a sight I’d want see every time I have to take a phone call”, Satan says all snide and - you’ve had it.

Time to shut them all up.

“Of course I’d want a picture of Mammon as my lock screen. He is my boyfriend after all.”

“WHAT!?”, you hear all the voices in the room cry out at once.

“I am? I-I mean, of course I am! Ya hear that? MC’s taken by The Great Mammon! So all of ya better back off, ya got it?!”

You giggle at his bravado and the looks of disgust and disappointment on the remaining faces in the room, leaning down to kiss his cheek to really drive the point home.

Oh. Looks like he can get redder.

#dddroadto2kevent #obey me #om #mammon #obey me mammon #obey me shall we date #omswd #obey me headcannons #obey me mc #mammon headcannons #mammon x mc #mammon x reader #mammon x y/n #om mammon #omnb mammon #omnb #obey me nightbringer #obey me nightbringer mammon #kit’s playhouse #omswd mammon #om mc #omnb mc #omswd mc #obey me x mc #obey me x reader

[sabokunsmalia]

ʚ 𝗣𝗟𝗔𝗬𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗙𝗨𝗖𝗞, 𝗠𝗔𝗥𝗥𝗬, 𝗞𝗜𝗟𝗟 𝗪𝗜𝗧𝗛 𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗠 (𝗔𝗢𝗧 𝗩𝗘𝗥𝗦𝗜𝗢𝗡) ɞ

featuring: levi ackerman, eren yeager, erwin smith plot: very easy, asking them the fmk question, and seeing their reaction. mature content ahead!! content warning: mentions of sex, mdni!! hi it's malia: please, i can't get those hot aot men out of my hand anymore, but i will definitely do a one piece version too!

ʚ levi ackerman ɞ

"okay, listen," you raised your flat hands in front of your boyfriend, smiling widely. the way, you ran into his office without knocking, and how you stuttered between words because of your excitement, already informed levi that hange placed another parasite inside of your head. another little thing, she created. "let's play a little game."

"what game?" levi questioned, not a single muscle twitching in his face as he closely watched how you moved. and he already despised himself for even asking about it, and allowing you to explain further. "hange told me -"

"four eyes again," the captain scoffed, holding the small cup of tea in his signature kind of hold. bringing the brim to his mouth, he poured a sip of his favorite green tea into his mouth. eyes never leaving your face. "it's called fuck, marry, kill," you explained to him, clapping the flat hands together in excitement.

"fucking hange, what's that kind of fucked up game?" levi mumbled against the cup, holding it close in front of his mouth. actually, he wanted to smile, the left corner of his mouth already curling up slightly and the drink helped him to cover up. hange always came up with the worst games, and yet the funniest names. she was truly a specialist. "i give you three names, and you will tell me who you would rather fuck, marry or kill," you explained to your boyfriend, raising a finger with each choice.

"kill everyone, fuck and marry you," levi answered without moving a muscle, his voice still a deep and steady melody to your ears. blinking repeatedly at him, your lips parted and mouth opened, you wanted to scold him but the syllables died down on your tongue. "that's... that's not how it works, levi!" you complained, throwing the stack of papers placed in your lap on the table in front of you. the one piece of furniture which truly separated your two presences from each other.

"works for me," the captain shrugged the shoulders, the sole kind of emotion you were getting from him. a stupid answer for a stupid question. he would never decide between marrying or fucking you. what a stupid thing to even ask him.

ʚ eren yeager ɞ

"let's play a game," you suggested, turning around to switch positions. eren was sprawled out beside you in the double bed. an arm behind his head, a book placed in his lap as he read about several historical events. you turned from your side onto your belly, legs lifted and crossed in the air. elbow propped up on the comfortable duvets, the chin placed in the span of your soft palm.

eren seemed interested in what you proposed, wanting to hear more about the game. a thick, dark brown eyebrow raised in your direction, a couple of strands from his messy bun fell into his face. he looked way too good to be real, you always questioned how you ended up with such an attractive and sweet man.

"it's called fuck, marry, kill," you spoke up again, looking up through your thick, black lashes with a smile. oh, almost so innocent as when you tried to lure him into another exhausting activity. pull him into your deep spell again while hands wander. "continue," eren watched you closely, gesturing with his free hand in a circle to sign what to do.

"i give you three names, and you decide which one to fuck, marry or kill. you can only choose each option and each name once," you explained the instructions with raised brows, satisfied with how eren's attention lingered on your lips while talking. the brown-haired male nodded at your explanation, a one-sided smile on his face while waiting for the names.

"historia, me," you raised a finger for each name that once was spoken in connection with eren's relationship status. "and mikasa." and hers made you swallow as your throat tightened. you remembered exactly how long they had been dating, and that they still cared about each other, it made some situations difficult. "mh," eren hummed, closing his eyes as he thought about his answer.

"eren." you used your free hand to gently push your boyfriend, tellin him with actions that he was taking too long to answer. at least for your liking. you always felt like your confidence disappeared the moment mikasa was mentioned. "oh right," he chuckled confidently, playing with the messy bun on the back of his head. "easy, i would marry you because it's a lifetime thing. wouldn't want to waste my years with another woman when i could have you,"

you nodded your heart, feeling your heart thudding in your chest. eren's answer was sweet, so romantic but you still waited until saying a thing yourself. "kill historia, which would result in my own death trial, and fuck mikasa. just a one-time thing," eren shrugged his shoulders, not doubting his choices at all. you nodded your head, slightly disappointed about his choice but satisfied with his descriptions.

ʚ erwin smith ɞ

erwin had his gaze anchored on the stack of papers while trying to write down the notes of their last mission for the government. running his thick fingers through his blonde strands, the hair already looked like the greatest mess. "you need a break," you interfered with his circle of thoughts, raising your eyebrows at your boyfriend. he's been focused on his work for the past six hours, while you entered and exited his office multiple times. bringing him coffee, or a meal so he wouldn't avoid eating and drinking for an entire day.

"don't have time for breaks, babe," erwin answered, not even glancing up from the one paper in front of him. between the multiple files of murdered veterans and new cadets, erwin was responsible for them all as the commander.

"let's play a quick game, it will give you a slight stress reduction," you tried to convince him, leaning forward to place your elbows on your knees. the couch was starting to get uncomfortable from seating for hours, and waiting to finally receive attention.

"what game?" the pen slipped out of his grip, and he finally leaned back in the chair for the first time in hours. not even while eating the sandwich you made, he looked up or changed into a comfortable posture. "it's called fuck, marry, kill,"

"i'm intrigued," he admitted, placing his flat hand on his thigh, waiting for you to explain the rules of this little game. "i give you three names, and you have to give each name one of those, but can't use them twice. neither name nor option," you explained the quick rules, gesturing around with your hands. really hoping that it would not change his interest in the game. nodding his head repeatedly, erwin smiled. "alright, give me them names,"

"hm," soft fingertips rubbed along your chin, trying to find the perfect three names instead of speaking clear answers yourself. "levi, hange and me," you clapped your hands together, looking back at your boyfriend with a smile.

"interesting choice with levi," erwin chuckled quietly to himself, placing his thick fingers at his chin while overthinking. "marrying you, that's the easy answer for me, i would like to say kill both because i'm not entirely intrigued by the idea of fucking my subordinates but since hange's only loving titans, i would have to kill her. i'm not some fucking experiment," erwin did not look up from his thighs, overthinking what he was saying while trying to find explanations.

"you would fuck levi?" you raised your eyebrows, pupils slightly dilated while a smile crept its way on your lips. "for the game, it's my only leftover option," erwin did not seem pleased with the option but still somehow satisfied that his answers did not seem to bother you at all.

"great, that makes two of us," you clapped your hands together, stifling a laugh as confusion and surprise twisted Erwin's features.

#attack on titan x reader #attack on titan #attack on titan smut #levi attack on titan #attack on titan fanart #aot imagine #levi ackerman #shingeki no kyojin #aot smut #levi aot #aot x reader #aot #attack on titan levi #levi ackerman x reader #levi smut #levi x reader #levi ackerman x you #levi ackerman smut #captain levi x reader #erwin smith #erwin smith smut #erwin smith imagine #erwin smith x reader #erwin smith x you #eren aot #eren yeager #eren jaeger #eren x reader #eren smut #eren yaeger x reader

[desperate-gay]

Q&A

Mary Earps x fem!reader

Recently, all of the lionesses have had to deal with a lot of media attention and interviews after winning the euros. Today it is your turn; luckily, it is just a quick Q&A interview along with signing a few jerseys. These kinds of interviews never bother you too much because they usually ask pretty mild and entertaining questions, and most of the time if there is a question that may be risky, they’ll ask you if it’s okay to answer before rolling the cameras.

Your alarm blared throughout the bedroom, causing you to groan and stretch out as little as you can. Your wife’s arms are wrapped around your waist and your back is to her front. You feel Mary’s arms tighten to keep you in your spot.

“Baby,” you turn your head and place a kiss on her flushed cheek, “I have to start getting ready.” She just groans as a response and continues to keep her limbs wrapped around you.

“Honey-“

Her mouth hangs open and she lets out a booming snore to cover your protests.

“Mary!”

That gets her attention right away as her eyes shoot open and she sits up a little. Her lip juts out in a pout, “Don’t call me that.” Whenever you fight, you’re generally the calm one and never raise your voice along with only calling her by pet names like “Baby” or “Honey”. So now that you used her first name, she is wide awake and probably a little scared.

“There! That’s one way to get your attention.” You smile in triumph and lean over to place a small peck on her frowning lips. Her mouth drops open a little with her eyebrows furrowing in disbelief.

“That’s not fair! You can’t do that to me!” She shouts, seeing as you already made your way to the bathroom.

“I love you!”

She grumbles back a quiet “I love you”.

—

After a quick see you later and a couple of kisses, you make your way to your vehicle and head to your destination. Luckily, the directions your manager sent to you are not too far from your loft.

As you walk in, you greet multiple directors and writers before making your way to the seat where all the cameras are pointed to. A makeup artist and hairdresser come over and make a few tweaks to your look just to be sure everything is perfect. There will be an interviewer behind the camera asking a series of questions, so all you’ve got to do is answer and be polite.

The camera rolls and the producer gives you the sign to introduce yourself. “Hi! My name is Y/n Earps, I play for the England Lionesses, and today I will be doing a quick Q&A. Most of these questions are asked by you, the fans, and viewers. If your question didn’t make it, you can always drop more on Twitter or Instagram and I will do my best to answer them. Now let’s get started!”

The producer gave you a thumbs up and started to roll again. Your hands lay on the table intertwined while you look at the interviewer standing behind the camera.

“Out of everyone in your squad, who do you think is the funniest?”

“Oooh, that’s a tricky one. There are a lot of jokesters on the team, but I think it would be Tooney. She’s always so random and it makes it even funnier. I’d say Daly is right there too”

You hear the man flip through the cards to get to the next one. “Okay next, growing up, which club did you support?”

“Oh no. I hope not too many people come after me, but I grew up an Arsenal fan and I even play for them now. All my teammates who play for Chelsea, United, or Barca all argue over who’s second to me. Leah just looks smug and lets out snarky comments, teasing the rest.”

You go over plenty of more questions; some about your personal life and some about your football opinions. A couple of the questions you’d have a conversation with the interviewer and the crew behind the camera. Now you’re down to your last one, which is a little relieving. To be honest, you didn’t want to get out of bed at all today, but this wasn’t the worst thing to do.

“Last question for today isssss…out of all women’s football, who is your favorite goalkeeper.”

You let out a small chuckle and stare at the camera. “This feels like a setup. Well if I don’t say Mary Earps I think she’d be quite angry with me and would sleep on the couch tonight.”

“Wouldn’t you sleep on the couch?” The man’s eyebrows scrunch in confusion.

“Yeah, you would think, right? But one time Mary told me and I quote, ‘Just because I don’t like you at the moment, doesn’t mean I don’t care about you’. She claims she doesn't want my back to hurt the next morning.” You smile softly at the words of your wife. A few awes can be heard from the crew which makes your smile widen even more.

“It’s really difficult being married to a cocky sweetheart sometimes.” Sighing, you shake your head and look at the camera. “Back to the question, I guess Mearps isn’t all that bad,” you jokingly look around and cup your mouth, acting like you're whispering, “I do fancy Zecira Musovic though.” You place a finger on your lips and wink before the cameras stop rolling. The workers clap and thank you for doing this and you smile back and reply with my pleasure.

Once everything is edited to your and the producer's taste, they post it on YouTube straight away. You bid your goodbyes one final time and go run a few errands to get some snacks for movie night.

—

“Baby! Can you help me with a few of these groceries?” You shout through the empty-looking house. Footsteps begin to make their way slowly to the front door, near you.

“Well well well, look who needs goalkeeper Mary Earps’s help. Why don’t you call and ask your favorite Zecira Musovic?” She taunts with her arms crossed over her chest. Her steps are even slower than before, taking her time to get to you.

“You saw the interview, huh?” You wince and give your best innocent smile while you bat your eyelashes. Mary nods and runs her tongue around the inside of her cheek, which most people are familiar with during games.

“Why should I help you?”

“Because you; darling, love of my life, angel, are my dear sweet wife, and you wouldn’t want your wife’s arms to snap before the World Cup now would you?” You say with the same smile, but now your nose is scrunched. “Please?”

Huffing, she makes her way to you grabs all the bags, and goes to the kitchen to set them on the counter. You follow her and give her the biggest hug you can. Her hands place themselves under your thighs, signaling for you to jump. Your legs wind around her waist as your arms wrap around her neck. Mary carries you back into the living room and bends down, placing only you on the couch. You reach up with grabby hands and try to bring her down. She lowers her mouth just above your ear and whispers, “Your back can hurt tomorrow, so you can sleep on the couch tonight.”

She places a kiss on your lips and walks away leaving you in shock, seeing she just mimicked your moves from this morning. Your wife smirks to herself and heads back upstairs to your shared bedroom. As quickly as you can, you sit up and run towards her.

“It was a joke, baby! I’m sorry!”

#mary earps x reader #mary earps #woso x reader #woso #england #world cup #euros #lgbtq

[scekrex]

An idea? Did somebody just say they have an idea? Oh wait, that would be me! Hi, hello, love, me again, the little pretty devil on your shoulder that encourages you to sin, or rather, create ✨

Just Adam, reader and Lute playing UNO. You probably knew this was coming. It's basically them just playing it like that one video on Smii7y's channel where everybody basically just yells at each other. Honestly it would be so funny to read about them playing, the reader placing a card for Lute, a nice +4 (Fucking hate that bitch, the sole reason for my misery during that game), what he didn't think of was the possibility of Lute having another +4. She put it down on top of the reader's (They play by the rule where the +4 or +2 stack) and Adam just goes "I can't believe you've done this!" (Like the meme with the British dude in sunglasses getting punched in the face), reader laughing and mocking him with "Oh, I cAn'T bElIeVe YoU'vE dOnE tHiS!" with a British accent, but then Adam finds another +4 in his cards, places it down and looks at reader with a satisfactory smirk. When readers sees it he just goes "Fuck, I actually can't believe you've done this. You fuck" with an accusatory tone, realising he has to pick up 12 cards and just flips his cards like Steve Harvey sometimes does at stupid answer during Family Feud saying "Man, fuck this, I ain't playing with you no more! You best believe I'll get my revenge. No damn sex for you" while walking away, obviously directing it for Adam, but Lute just going "DISGUSTANG" and Adam just going "He was not speaking to you, bitch. Mind ya business. This one is mine, there's my life on the line😭". I just see the possibility of them playing UNO while bored in Heaven would be the funniest shit ever 😂 UNO destroys relationships, kids... AND emotionally damages you 😭

Nah bc they'd roast the living shit outta each other. Just imagine how they'd react when playing Mario Kart, they'd tear open each other's throats.

Tired Games

pairing: Adam x male!reader

warnings: language, crack fic comin' through whoop whoop

note: not beta read bc fuck you I don't have beta readers

All you had wanted was a chill evening with your husband and Lute, to relax and enjoy the day off. So you three sat on the floor of your and Adam's apartment, in front of you there was a stack of UNO cards. You had been playing for a couple hours by now and slowly all of you were losing your patience. UNO was one of the games that always ended in fights, either because Lute was convinced the ‘you can stack a +4 on a +4’ rule was entirely made up - she had once shown you a tweet from the company that said doing so was against the rules - or it was like today.

“Hurry up babes,” Adam poked you in the side which caused you to flinch away from his touch and bat his hand away, “Stop that you touch starved bitch.” You slapped a +4 onto the stack, offering Lute the most wicked grin you had in store, “Sucks to be you, bitch.” Lute however was having none of it, she returned the grin, equally wicked and pulled another +4 out of her deck.

The look the first man gave you was priceless, he looked truly betrayed while a bit of annoyance gleamed in his golden eyes, “I can't believe you've fucking done this.” You chuckled to yourself as you poked him back, a small giggle escaped you as he flinched away just like you had. “Oh, I can't believe you've fucking done this, go cry about it bitch,” you mocked him as you laid down. You were starting to get tired but you also wanted to finish the game. The problem was when you grew tired you also grew short tempered and so you knew it was only a matter of time until things would escalate. Still you continued as you put your head in Adam's lap. The brunette looked down on you and offered you a small smile, then his hand was in your hair and for a tiny moment your eyes fell shut as you embraced the warm touch your husband gave you.

The first man stayed silent for a long time as he went through his cards, clearly thinking hard about whether to play the card he had or not. “Hurry up, old man,” Lute grumbled and kicked his shin, that made Adam yelp in pain and scoot backwards a little - he made sure to move drag your body with him so that you could continue to use him as a pillow - to get away from the executor, “Geez, the fuck is wrong with you?” he complained as he played yet another +4 card. The smirk on his face was sweet, so sweet that you genuinely wanted to tear it off and throw it in the trash. You looked at the stack of cards, then up at Adam and back down at the cards. That meant you had to draw 12 godforsaken cards. Fucking 12.

“Fuck that,” you flipped your cards over in anger and pushed yourself up - away from Adam - so that you sat on the floor before you fully got up, “Fuck you,” you flipped Adam off before turning to Lute, “And fuck you too.” With crossed arms and in a shitty mood you walked over to the couch and wrapped your wings around your body in order to hide from the people sitting on the floor. “I ain't playing with you with you no more,” you grumbled quietly, then raised your voice a little so that Adam could hear your threat, “No fucking sex for you.”

Lute's face twisted in disgust and she wrinkled her nose at your words, “Disgusting.” Adam raised an eyebrow and side eyed her, not sure if she truly thought you had addressed to words to her or if she was playing, “Bitch, he was talking to me, this is my punishment, my fucking life's on the line here,” the first human soul in heaven whined and got up from the floor as well. “Don’t forget so is your dick,” Lute reminded the brunette who just groaned at that as he walked over to you. He carefully nudged the tips of your wings apart and really couldn't help the smile when he saw your pointing face. “Aw, c’mon babes, it's just a stupid fucking game,” he hummed as he kneeled down to be on eye level with you, his hands were resting on your knees which were pressed against your chest. “Fuck off, I said what I said,” you mumbled as you were avoiding eye contact. You knew too well that he could plead so prettily with them golden eyes of his, looking straight into them meant risking taking your words back and letting him win. He put a finger underneath your chin and tilted your head slightly, he basically forced you to look at him. All it took was one glance and you were done for, you simply knew you lost.

Your eyes must've given that away because Adam leaned in to give you a short yet soft kiss, “That’s a good boy.” You turned your face away, grumbling something about how he should watch his mouth. “You two done with your shit? Can we continue?” Lute interrupted and while you loved her like a sister, you would've loved to grab her by the wings and throw her out the window. You might save that for later though. You pushed yourself away from the soft fabric of the couch and right into Adam's arms, “Actually,” you mumbled as you wrapped your arms around his neck so that he could carry you, “I think I’m going to bed.” Tiredness had won you over once again but Lute understood, of course she did. “Feel free to crash on the couch, danger tits,” Adam offered the exorcist but she shook her head, “I’d rather not want to wake up to the sound of you two fucking again, thanks. One time was more than enough.” Adam shrugged, he thought that was fair. And while the two of them had that little conversation, you had already fallen asleep in Adam's arms.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel adam #adam x male reader #male reader #adam x y/n #adam x reader #adam x you

[atypicalamortentia]

Drunk 'N' In Love || Ominis Gaunt

Synopsis - Your friends had come round to welcome you to your new apartment. After a few hours of drinking and talking, you step outside for some fresh air when Ominis follows you.

Warnings - SFW.

Notes - All characters are 18+!

Word Count - 1.6k

[Caffeinate Me]

Your friends had come over to welcome you to your new home: Sebastian, Ominis, Poppy, Imelda, Garreth, Leander and Grace. You had all had a few drinks, maybe a few drinks too many, but that didn’t stop you from continuing to knock them down one after another. You were laughing with your friends about the mischief you had all gotten up to during your time at Hogwarts which now that you think about it, wasn’t that long ago. “Another drink?” Imelda asked you as she poured herself another one. 

“Yes please,” you smiled drunkenly, holding your cup out for her to refill. She nodded and smiled at you pleasantly before pouring the liquid in your cup carefully. 

“And then Y/N got kicked out of class because she wasn’t paying attention!” Sebastian hollered, slapping his knee. He took a sip of his firewhisky and shot you a wink. 

“Oh shut up Sebastian,” you groaned. “I didn’t pay attention in class one time and it’s the funniest thing you can think of?” 

“It was hilarious because you were too busy staring at-” 

“Shut your mouth Sallow,” you growled, cutting him off before he could reveal who you were staring at. 

“Oooo Y/N had a crush!” Garreth smirked, wiggling his eyebrows at you. 

“Be quiet Weasley,” you groaned, slapping yourself in the face lightly. There was embarrassment and then there was this. A bead of sweat trickled down your forehead as your gaze flickered to the man of your interest; Ominis Gaunt. He was, and still is, the one you were crushing on. Of course your best friend Sebastian knew about your crush. You were surprised he hadn’t let it slip with that big mouth of his. 

“So you’re not gonna tell us who it was?” Imelda asked as she sat back down next to you on the floor. You shook your head and your friends groaned in disappointment. 

The next few hours remained relatively tame despite the amount of alcohol you were drinking. Occasionally, someone would laugh a little too loud causing you to shush them. You didn’t want your new neighbours thinking that you were rowdy. Eventually you felt yourself succumbing to the alcohol, your brain began to feel fuzzy and you felt the most confident you’d ever felt in your life. You stood up from your sitting position on the floor causing your friends to look at you. “Everything okay Y/N?” Grace asked, her eyebrows pinching together as you stumbled your way to the door. 

“Just feeling a little warm!” You called out. “I’ll be back in a minute, I just need some fresh air!” 

You walked out of your apartment and down the stairs, being careful not to fall over on your unsteady legs. You arrived at the door of your apartment complex and walked outside. It may have been 12am at night, but the warm summer breeze hit you hard. You slumped against the wall, sighing heavily as your mind continued swirling. You closed your eyes for what felt like a few seconds before the door to your apartment complex swung open. Your eyes snapped open, not expecting to see the person who stumbled out of the door - Ominis. You felt your breathing intensify upon learning he was on his own, after all the two of you hadn’t really spent any one-on-one time together since Hogwarts. “Y/N?” He asked into the darkness. 

“I’m here, Ominis,” you squeaked. The blonde’s attention turned in your general direction and he slowly, but surely, made his way over to you. 

“Are you okay? You’ve been out here for quite some time now,” he spoke softly. 

You blushed lightly from a mixture of embarrassment, the warm air outside and the alcohol in your system. “I-I’m fine!” You squeaked. “Just needed some fresh air, it was getting too stuffy in the apartment with everybody there.” 

“You’ve had too much to drink,” Ominis stated blankly.

“So have you,” you retorted. 

“Touché,” Ominis chuckled. One of his hands made its way up to stroke back a piece of his hair that had fallen in front of his face. You stared at him, admiring his facial features under the pale moonlight. Even with a pinkish hue on his face from the alcohol, you still thought he was the most handsomest man to ever exist. “I may be blind, but I can clearly sense you staring at me,” he whispered, snapping you out of your trance. 

“S-Sorry,” you mumbled, playing with your fingers awkwardly. 

“I don’t mind,” he replied. “I must admit, I find it rather flattering.”

“You do?” You asked, a smile making its way across your lips. “I could stare at you all day,” you admitted.

Ominis blushed at your words, his cheeks reddening. “I wish I could see you.”

“I’m glad you can’t,” you chuckled. “I look like a mess right now.”

“I’m sure you look beautiful,” Ominis argued, his eyebrows furrowing. “I don’t want to hear another word otherwise.”

You pouted at his words and rolled your eyes. There was a comfortable silence that settled between you both as you gazed off into the darkness of the night. Your mind continued to wonder as Ominis shuffled beside you: of all people to come outside and check if you were okay, why Ominis? Why not your best friend? Why not Imelda? You found your heartbeat picking up a few paces as Ominis shuffled closer to you, his hand grazing yours lightly. “Ominis?” You asked slowly, turning to face him completely. He didn’t respond with words, just faced you. “Why did you really come out here?” 

“I-I came out to see if you were okay,” he claimed. 

You shook your head in disbelief that that was the only reason why. Something in your gut was telling you there was something else. “But why you?” You pressed. 

Ominis’ eyes widened as you asked the question. He thought for a moment before slumping his shoulders lightly. Instead of answering your question, he asked you a counter question. “Who were you staring at that day you got kicked out of class?” He asked, voice low. 

“You,” you replied in a whisper, just loud enough for him to hear. 

“Me?” He asked. Both his voice and face were a picture of shock. “Why me?” 

“I said I could stare at you all day,” you replied, your confidence weavering slightly. “I meant it.” Ominis stayed silent again but let his movements do all the talking. He lunged towards you, trapping you against the wall with both hands on either side of your head so you couldn’t move. His face was so close to yours, his scent filled your nostrils. He smelt like alcohol and a cologne you couldn’t quite put your finger on. Whatever it was, it had your head spinning even more. “W-What are you doing?” You stuttered, eyes gazing down to his lips before meeting his milky grey orbs. 

“Doing something I should have done years ago,” came his reply. Before you knew it, Ominis had cupped your face in his hands and was kissing you softly. His lips moulded against yours easily and glided across like a dream. His lips were everything you had imagined them to be: soft, wet, plush and sweet. Your eyes fluttered closed as Ominis deepened the kiss, pulling your body flush against his chest. You could feel his heart against your hand that was now resting on his chest and it was racing. Licking your bottom lip seductively, Ominis asked for entrance into your mouth which you happily granted. His tongue immediately wrapped around your own and a soft moan escaped your lips as you grasped the front of his shirt tightly. The two of you stayed like that for a few more seconds until Ominis finally pulled away, panting heavily. “That was even better than I imagined it to be,” he laughed awkwardly. 

“You can say that again,” you replied breathlessly. You slowly opened your eyes to find Ominis hadn’t moved his face away from yours yet, he was still dangerously close to your lips as if he was waiting to kiss you again. His hands had fallen from your cheeks to your hips which he grasped firmly, keeping you in place. 

“I love you Y/N,” Ominis whispered, not giving you a second to reply before he pressed his lips to yours again. “I always have,” he mumbled into your lips. 

“I love you too,” you managed to reply once he had pulled away from your lips. The two of you stayed like that for a few more minutes, just basking in each other's presence before you spoke up once more. “We should probably go back in. The others are probably worried about us.”

Ominis nodded and laughed lightly, “you’re right. After you, m’lady.”

You giggled as you grabbed Ominis’ hand and walked back into your apartment complex. He trailed behind, letting you guide him. You walked up a flight of stairs and entered your apartment. When your friends saw your hands intertwined, their faces lit up. “Finally!” Sebastian yelled, a little too loudly. “I didn’t think I was going to be able to keep it a secret any longer Y/N.”

“Wait, you knew?” Imelda growled, her eyebrows raising in shock.

“You had to be blind not to see it,” Sebastian laughed. “No offence Ominis.”

“None taken,” he mumbled, sitting down and pulling you onto his lap. He pressed a kiss to your temple and smiled into your hair. It was safe to say that Ominis spent the rest of the night kissing you and holding you to his body tightly. There was no way he was going to let you go now that he finally had you in his arms. 

#hogwarts #hogwarts legacy imagines #hogwarts legacy imagine #hogwarts legacy x reader #hogwarts legacy #legacy #ominis gaunt imagines #ominis gaunt imagine #ominis gaunt x reader #ominis gaunt #ominis gaunt x mc #harry potter #harry potter x reader #hogwarts legacy one shot #hogwarts legacy one shots #ominis gaunt one shot #ominis gaunt one shots

[sometimes-i-write-good]

5 + 1

Top Gun: Maverick - Robert ‘Bob’ Floyd x f!pilot reader (callsign: Fallbeil)

4.4k || 5 times Bob remembers your little quirks and habits, and 1 time you remember his. 

===

Genre: Fluff, crushing, love confessions

CW: mentions of drinking, swearing

Author’s Note: Bob is such an acts of service kind of person - I can feel it deep in my soul. Also, I thought the idea of him ending up with someone who has a scary ass callsign like Guillotine (which is Fallbeil in German) despite him being a cinnamon roll would be the funniest thing in the world. || cross-posted on ao3

===

===

The first time you noticed something was because Hangman had that stupid ass look on his face again. That same one he always had, the only one he had in all honesty. The one that, recently, only ever seemed to be directed at you and that pissed you off most of all. 

“What?” He asked, but the smirk pulling his lips back into the stupid, smug fucking smile told you clearly: he knew exactly what.

“Leave her alone, Bagman. I’m not in the mood today,” Rooster said, and you could tell he meant it. HIs voice sounded surprisingly tired considering mornings were his prime time of existence. Maverick insisted on calling these meetings earlier and earlier, chinking away at everyone's stability, and it was proving to be too much for even the earliest of risers. 

Hangman scoffed, pressing his hand to his chest, and feigning offense. “Why am I always the bad guy? What if today was the day Fallbeil finally snapped and did something to me instead?” 

You rolled your eyes. “If I snapped, you wouldn’t be holding a conversation with me. Your head wouldn’t even be attached to your body.” 

“Living up to your name as always, doll.” 

Rooster slid into one of the empty chairs at the conference table, slapping down a notebook, and turned to look at you. “I’ll punch him if you want.” 

“I’m perfectly capable of throwing my own punches, thank you.” The look on Rooster’s face said he didn’t trust you not to take it too far. 

“And coffee mugs.” Hangman glanced over his shoulder; eyes trained on the spot where a cracked, open travel cup lay open. Opened and spilled, everywhere. “Which I managed to dodge.” 

“Try to dodge my-” but your insult was cut short by Rooster saying, “Coffee? You hate coffee.” 

You set your lips in a thin, embarrassed line. “He told me that it was tea.” 

“And you believed him?” Rooster snorted. 

You slunk back into your chair, crossing your arms with a pout. “It’s early! I’m basically the walking dead right now, birdbrain.” 

As with every mission of this sheer level of importance, your anxiety had been too great to let you sleep. Usually Bob or Phoenix or Rooster, the early risers of the group, would be up to go for a job or hit the gym with you. You were up well before all of them today and had taken it upon yourself to go for a run, shower, and be painfully early to this briefing. You had hoped Bob would be the first one there, he typically was, but the universe was out to get you because instead of those sweet, doe eyes behind some thick-lensed glasses all you got was a stupid pair of lips messing with a toothpick. 

“Don’t be too hard on, Rooster.” Phoenix called out, walking into the hangar with Fanboy, Payback, and Coyote in tow. “I already smoked him during our run this morning. He’s fragile.” 

Before Rooster could get all up in arms or Hangman could jump on a moment of vulnerability, Maverick walked in. He had his way to the head of the table while everyone else found their seats. “Good morning, everyone.” Tired, disjointed voices repeated the sentiment, pulling a smile onto Mav’s face. “I see we’re all ready for a busy day. What do you say we get started?” 

“Sorry, I’m late, sir!” Bob’s voice comes from behind you. “I couldn’t find the kettle.” 

Kettle, you thought to yourself, but Maverick just waved for him to sit down and continued talking. Before Bob headed over to the only open seat, by Hangman of all people, he placed a small cup of tea in front of you without a word. In your favorite mug, too. You brought it up to your lips to taste it… and it was perfect. Exactly the way you liked it. 

‘Thank you,’ you mouthed at him after he sat down. Bob just nodded and focused his attention on Maverick. You did the same, not even registering that he didn’t have a cup of anything for himself. 

–

The second time you noticed something nice Bob did for you was during poker night. Fanboy and Payback had decided tempting fate and coming out the other side had bonded you all for life. A point any of you could hardly disagree with. That mission was not something any of you were supposed to come back from. So, the idea of a movie night had been tossed around, but Payback always tried to guess the endings and Hangman tried to outdo the one-liners and Rooster just had to know if he knew that actor from another movie - needless to say, movie nights were shelved very fast. 

Then the idea of bar hopping came about, followed by karaoke night, followed by trivia night. Each of which ended up in all of you spending too much money on booze and drunkenly embarrassing yourselves with horrible vocals or blatantly wrong answers to obscure history questions. You all settled on the idea of a game night. It seemed to work well enough. A ‘family’ dinner followed by a board game. Except for the fact that Payback instead of placing bets no matter if it was CandyLand or Monopoly, which Coyote would double, and Hangman would triple. Leaving you all spending just as much money as you had at the bar. 

It was Bob who brought up the idea of having poker nights. Something with betting already designed into it so that none of you had to worry about emptying your bank accounts at the end of the night. That was the problem with setting elite competitors against one another, they never knew when to quit. 

You’d all been kept relatively close to TOPGUN, usually stationed a few hours away max. Months where distance wasn’t a problem, you all tried to meet once a week. If one of you weren’t stateside, then once a month worked just fine. Six months into poker nights so far and you’d been able to have at least one every month. Every time the list of things to bring shifted down a person, so that each time a new person would be in charge of chips or appetizers or the main entree, etc. It was a system that worked with military precision. 

Until the one time it didn’t. 

Bob was the last through the door of Payback’s small apartment. At least, it looked small with so many people crammed in there. “Here, I got special plates this time.” He raised them high above his head like a prize. Large, sturdy, and compartmentalized. Like the trays you’d get in the mess hall or for a school lunch. 

The statement caused immediate uproar.

“I was on plates and napkins!” Coyote said around a mouthful of sour cream and onion chips, brought by yours truly. And Hangman started making comments about how if no one was going to follow the list, then he wasn’t going to either. 

“You weren’t in charge of plates, Bob!” Fanboy tried his best not to get too worked up over it. He had created a spreadsheet of everyone’s responsibilities. Verifying everyone knew their roles was his main role in making sure this whole operation ran smoothly. “Please tell me you still brought dessert.” 

“I’ve got dessert. My grandma came out this weekend and made a peach cobbler.” 

The mention of his grandma’s baking ensured the pitchforks and torches were put away, for now. That woman had godly skills in the kitchen. You would gladly sit down and eat an entire cobbler of hers by yourself in one sitting.

Coyote, still hurt by his duty being impeded on, asked, “So then what are the plates for?” 

“Fallbeil doesn’t like when her food touches,” Bob said as though it were the most common knowledge in the world. “You guys always insist on getting plates that are way too small.” 

He set down the plates on the counter, followed by the pie, and went to take off his shoes and didn’t bring anything like that up again for the rest of the night. 

–

The third time you noticed something nice that Bob did for you was a day he had to leave early. A helicopter was coming to pick him and Phoenix up to take them overseas. Just for a few days, or so said those in charge, and you knew how easily a few days could change to a few weeks to a few months. 

The thought of possibly not seeing them for a while aggravated you. It meant being stuck on a ship hundreds of miles from the nearest shore without your two best friends. You’d known what you were signing up for when you first started. The military liked to keep their secrets. At any moment you could be swept away for a mission, but it still felt unfair when you woke up only to realize that your wingwoman and her WSO are replaced by strangers.

Back soon, take care. 

Not signed but the handwriting was so obviously Bob. Cursive with careful, purposeful loops. Hangman tried to tear him apart for taking so much care in his notes during the pre-briefs before the uranium mission. The insults died out fast once everyone realized he had chicken scratch for handwriting. Funny how spreading a rumor Hangman deserved the callsign Rooster over Bradley could put him in his place so quickly. 

Back soon, take care.

You stared at the sticky note, so carefully pressed against the outside of your locker. It was easy to imagine the conversation among him and Phoenix. 

“I’m leaving her a note.” 

“She’ll be fine, Bob. We’ve got to go.” 

“Four words.” 

He’d gotten into the habit of leaving sticky note updates in between lengthy letters. They held more emotion than an email or text, and you found that you liked it more than digital words on a screen. You could trace your fingers over each letter. Pretend as though he were pressed up in the seat next to you like when you’d go to the Hard Deck on a busy night and everyone would shove together in a few booths. A closeness you’d found yourself longing for in all moments spent together despite there being no reason for the two of you to share an armchair in the common room. 

You had crushes before. A few relationships littered your history of schooling, but you, like many others who had graduated from TOPGUN, assumed the sky was to be your first and only love. And then Bob showed up with his quiet, gentle ways and your heart would soar every time he walked into a room. There were days you went without talking, but you could count on some kind of a note to be waiting for you on your door or waiting for you on the control of your jet. 

Reminders that he was thinking of you. The way a best friend would. Surely. That’s all it had to be. No sense in constructing something out of nothing. Something that could wreck this perfect routine the two of you had created in one another’s lives. 

You peeled the sticky note off the front of your locker to place inside, out of harm's way. Your finger traced each letter. It was likely he and Phoenix were off somewhere with Coyote or Rooster or Hangman doing something far more dangerous than the intelligence patrol you’d been assigned to. As you swung open your locker, you wished you’d had enough sense to write him a letter before he’d left. Something reminding him and Phoenix to be safe, but you hadn’t known he was leaving. You hadn’t even let the thought cross your mind.

“Oh, Bob,” you sighed. 

A smile tugs its way onto your face. He’d left a mug in your locker. Not filled with tea this time, but with pens and highlighters and all your favorite stationary to use on your paperwork. You usually had a pencil case with you filled with pens that flowed smoothly and didn’t smudge or highlighters that didn’t bleed through the page.

He must have packed extra in his bag in case you’d forgotten that pencil case, which you had. But that wasn’t the best part. Somehow he’d managed to keep a rose alive and blooming to stick amongst the stationary. For, what it seemed to you, the sole purpose of making you smile. 

–

The fourth time you noticed something nice that Bob did for you was at Coyote’s birthday cookout. You were running late. Very late. More late than you’d ever been in your whole life to a point that you would have turned around if you could have, but you had been stuck on a highway without an exit for miles on end. The need to pee had never been stronger. 

Stuck in the literal sense. Construction fed into traffic fed into cars stopping for no reason at all fed into fender benders fed into your frustration. “Please just move!” You shouted at the trail of brake lights in front of you. All you had to do was make it to the next exit two miles away. 

But no one met your frustrated request. Instead, the standstill continued. You were destined to never arrive at this party. It had been weeks since you’d seen everyone together in one spot. Poker night had been postponed to tomorrow. Bound to be a dismal affair of hangovers and stale chips left out in bowls overnight. A slice of heaven on earth. Though, you would say that for just about anything if it meant being released from a fucking prison of a car. 

Your phone went off. The distinct sound of big band music filling your car. Bob’s ringtone. 

“Where are you?” His voice came through the other line at the same moment you shouted, “I want to rip my head off!” 

An amused chuckle filled your car which only caused you to fume further. “I’m serious, Robert. This two-hour drive has become four- maybe five. I lost count when I had to come to a full and complete stop for the three millionth time today. It would be so much easier if Coyote had a runway in his backyard. Then I could just fly there-”

“Fallbeil,” Bob cut in, “are you almost here?” 

“I’m a mile from my exit. I should be there in twenty. If I’m allowed to take my foot off the brake for more than a few seconds.” You let out a loud groan. “I’m going to stop at a gas station because I think my bladder might explode. So expect me in thirty actually-” 

Bob laughed and spoke once more, saving you from yet another breathless tangent. “I’m excited to see you.” 

You smiled to yourself. Grinning at the stopped cars in front of you like an idiot. “Yeah?” 

“Have I ever not been?” 

“I’m excited to see you too.” You could envision Bob’s own shy grin. No, you couldn’t hear the sounds of the party going on around him. He had closed himself off alone in a room to talk to you, which would mean the smile would be big and beaming. “Coyote enjoying himself?” 

“I think he might have cried when Natasha put on the birthday playlist she made for him.” 

“She’s good at that.” 

“Good?” Bob laughed. “She’s elite at it.” Then, after a moment of comfortable silence fell over the two of you he said, “Want me to stay on the phone until you show up?”  

If it were a normal poker night, you would have jumped on the offer. Phone calls with Bob had become a staple in that routine in one another’s lives. Letters and notes were not nearly enough to tide the two of you over. But today was a special occasion. 

“No,” you told him. “I’ll be there soon.” He deserved to go enjoy the party. Not be tied up in a phone call where you were bound to blow your lid if the car in front of you did not speed up. 

“Be careful. Drive safe.” The line clicked. 

Be careful, you turned the words over in your head wondering what they would sound like punctuated with a kiss every morning when you headed out the door. 

You turned down Coyote’s street, knowing exactly what you’d find. Cars taking every spot. Coyote was the most popular out of the crew. Charming personality, willingness to help everyone so much as passing by, and good looks. The combination needed for a party of the century. 

And the shouts of excitement that flowed from his backyard told you just that was happening. Without you, and it would continue to go on without you if you couldn’t find an open spot to park. Bob waited at the end of Coyote’s packed driveway, hands stuffed into his jeans. A surprising amount of muscle strained beneath the button up shirt he wore to every part. More cars shoved onto the asphalt and spilled over onto the lawn.

Bob waved, waited patiently for you to park the car in the middle of the street, and then came around to the driver's side of the car. “Hey,” he said as he popped open your door. “How was the drive?” 

You shot him a look. One that immediately set that bright, beautiful smile on his face. “Funny.” 

“Here, get out.” 

“What?”

“Get out. Go inside and say hi.” He leaned over to unbuckle you and the scent of his cologne tickled your nose. “I have a plate of food for you in the oven, on low so it stays warm. There’s one in the fridge too with the cold stuff.” 

“Bob-” 

“They’re all separated.” He waved you out of the car, grabbing your hand to help, and pressed a kiss to your cheek. “I’m glad you’re here, Fallbeil.” 

You saw him again ten minutes later because he had to park two blocks away and walk back. 

–

The fifth time you really noticed Bob going out of his way for you was a few months into the two of you moving in together. Solely as roommates, two best friends making the most of a perfect situation. Rent was going up, you had an extra room, and Bob had just gotten hired as an instructor at TOPGUN. The timing couldn’t have been better. 

In truth, nothing could be better. The two of you fit perfectly into each other’s lives. Bob with his early habits. Having tea on the table for you alongside the crossword section of the newspaper he insisted on reading every morning. The hardest word always filled in as a starting point. He’d saved you the frustration of straining your mind over a word you couldn’t have dreamed up in the wildest corners of your imagination. 

The preference over sticky notes as communication over texts still remained the same. Left on the mirror in your shared bathroom always signed with “be careful” or “take care.” Sometimes there is nothing of importance to say, but Bob would write those two words anyway as a reminder. 

You’d leave voicemails if it was something that needed your immediate attention - talking on the phone to Bob became a bright spot in your week. You tried your hardest to leave them only for emergencies but hearing his voice every day had spoiled you. Sometimes your mind would lock on something you would absolutely have to tell him. Then you would find yourself pulling out your phone, typing in his number, and putting it away with a great sigh. You had planes to fly, he had students to teach, and the torture of being apart for a few hours each day made returning home to him all the sweeter. Returning home to movie nights or long walks on the beach or stories of students who remind Bob of each member of the Dagger Crew. 

Phoenix would crash often when she got called back to TOPGUN, and Bradley hung around often enough seeing that Mav and Penny had made their lives here. Everyone cycled through at some point. Even Hangman had a welcome place on your couch if he ever needed it. 

There was one night Jake had spent the night. Out of the blue and completely inconvenient as was the case with Hangman, but he offered to cook dinner while the two of you were at work and you came home to a good meal and surprisingly good company. What a sight to see the three of you laughing at a small table. 

You hadn’t minded Hangman staying over. Though he did scare the shit out of you when he knocked on your door and let himself into your room to talk. “You know he likes you,” he had said, perched on the corner of your bed with that same stupid ass look on his face that meant trouble. “I think he might even be in love with you.” 

“Bagman-” 

“Hey, I come in here to tell you some life-altering news and you start with insulting me.” Hangman had let out a low whistle. “Think about it, Fallbeil.” 

“What if it ruins everything? We’re doing so well.” 

“What if it changes everything for the better?” 

You hadn’t expected those words to play in your head as often as they did when Hangman finally left. It had been weeks since you’d last seen him. Poker night was tonight. He was hosting, and you had a feeling he was going to corner you with all sorts of questions as to if you’d made a move on Bob yet. A foolish notion. Bob might not be a skittish dog, but making a move on him still might cause spontaneous combustion. You were just trying to figure out which one of you it would be. 

What could be the right time to tell your best friend and roommate that you loved him? That you have always wanted to be more? 

You thought it over as you wiped sleep from your eyes and made your way into the bathroom. Bob had left earlier than usual this morning. It was a test day for the students and he was nothing if not prepared. Likely that kind, painfully chirpy teacher in the early hours of the day. 

There was a sticky note on the mirror. As expected. Longer than usual. Unexpected. 

Took your car this morning. Saw you needed an oil change. Be home late, then he can head to Bagman’s. Hope that’s okay. My keys are on the counter. Be safe. Love you.

You traced those last two words with the tip of your finger. It was the first time he’d added those two words. 

And they fit so naturally on the note. Like they always belonged there.

–

The one time (the first time) you realized you were going out of your way to do things because you loved Robert Floyd when you went into the mall with a head full of ideas to get for Rooster’s birthday and came out twenty minutes later with one thing. One thing not for Rooster. 

A model plane for Bob. Before he’d gotten so overwhelmed with his responsibilities at TOPGUN to cease having many hobbies, he’d built model planes. It’s what had gotten him into a love of planes. At least, that’s what he had told you one night at the Hard Deck, when the two of you were shoved up against one another. 

Growing up in a small midwestern farm town didn’t give him many chances growing up to be around planes, but he’d watch the ones that flew over crops with rapt interest. He memorized flight patterns, sat alongside fields, and watched them every chance he got. Then, in the late nights where he only had his imagination to keep him company, Bob built model planes and memorized their histories.

“I’ve always wanted to be around planes.” He had slurred the words a bit back then. One too many sips of beer between handfuls of peanuts. “I kept them around me as much as I could.” 

You hadn’t been able to figure out how crop planes became fighter jets in his history, but more stories came out as the two of you moved in together. Dismissive comments about school bullies. Talks about how he knew he wasn’t the strongest, but had always felt the need to prove himself. It seemed to fit into this idea people created of him - always a bit behind the rest. You respected him for sticking to what people told him he couldn’t do and making a name for himself in spite of it all. 

And you loved that he trusted you enough to bring you in on those hobbies of his. Building fighter jets in the low light of desk lamps and night lights. Reminding you of the purpose of each piece. Telling the history of each plane. But your favorite part of all was when the two of you would build a jet you were flying and he would include all your statistics, everything you’ve accomplished, and, when you caught him in rare form, things Bob imagined you would do that would etch your name into the very fabric of history. 

“Did you get a present for Bradley?” He asked, hearing the click of the door behind you. There was a rag thrown over his shoulder. Bob turned to face you with a smile. In the midst of cooking, glasses slightly fogged from whatever it was he was cooking, and your heart couldn’t take it. 

“N-no,” you said, tripping up on your words. “I, um, I forgot.” 

“But on the phone you said you couldn’t wait to show me what you got?” He tilted his head, watching as you kicked off your shoes, and placed your shopping bag on the table. “I hope you’re not trying to sign your name onto my gift, Fallbeil. I spent three months finding a vintage record of ‘Great Balls of Fire’ for him.” 

You smiled at his thoughtfulness. “No, Robert, I will not steal credit for your gift. He’ll know it’s from you anyway.” You took a deep, shaky breath. “I got something for you instead.” 

Bob’s brows scrunched in confusion. “Me, but it’s Bradley’s birthday?” 

You pulled the model F-18 from the bag and held it out towards him. Your hands shook slightly. Silly considering the two of you were always going out of your way to do things for each other. Plates and oil changes and parking cars. Small things. Nothing as momentous as a declaration of pure understanding of one another. 

He said your name with a softness you’d never heard before. As though he were praying. 

“I love you.” You said it at the same time as him. And the words fell so naturally from both your lips. Like they always belonged there.

===

ask and you shall receive (taglist): @whoeverineedtobe​ @dhwanishah09​

#top gun #top gun maverick #top gun fic #robert bob floyd #robert bob floyd x reader #robert bob floyd x you #robert bob floyd x original female character #robert bob floyd imagine #bob imagine #bob floyd #bob floyd x female reader #bob floyd x you #5+1 things #5+1 fic #Jake 'Hangman" Seresin #bradley 'rooster' bradshaw #natasha phoenix trace #javy coyote machado #mickey 'fanboy' garcia #reuben payback fitch #pete 'maverick' mitchell

[rizsu]

cashier's revenge gojo satoru.

sum. annoying ex!gojo gets his lick back. not beta read !

satoru's existence itself is a warning. is it a harzardous warning? not quite, but it's also not a good one. at this very moment, at this very precised second, gojo satoru is contemplating the consequences of clocking out of work before his shift is up. in his eyes, if it's executed properly, it can work. the only downside would be the possibility of getting fired.

he cannot afford such a tragedy. being a man in today's day and age comes at an expensive cost. one day satoru promises to find AND deliver punishment to whoever created the "men are the breadwinners." motion. he suffers from society's insane capitalism and boy might he just dive into hell. head first, even. perhaps even toes first, if he's feeling special.

satoru's current employment stems from two reasons. not one, not three, but two:

1. his urge to prove that he can be better off without you.

2. getō suguru, someone's that's just as bad as he is, told him he had the chance to do the funniest thing ever.

now, don't mistake him! gojo satoru is not easily influenced ( he is. ) he knows right from wrong ( sometimes. )

prior to him signing up as a cashier, your break-up was mutual. he agreed to let you go and you agreed that you weren't committed to being in a full relationship yet. on his vision, he hated that he had to let you go; his attachment grew and he couldn't go two days without bothering you.

it would've disgusted satoru if he made you stay with him but god he wished you would've done so.

bored and bothered, satoru fiddles with his fingers, unable to find entertainment elsewhere due to his phone's low battery warning.

"if no one enters in the next five minutes maybe i can — fuck," feeling his right eye twitch, satoru exhales a deep sigh. not only did someone enter but that unlucky customer happened to be you, y/n l/n.

his eyes following your body, praying that you magically decided to no longer buy anything. unfortunately for him, he cannot get everything he wants in life. watching you make your way to his position, he chants a line of curses before going into automatic-customer-service mode.

"hi," satoru begins, forcing his sunshine-like smile, "what would you have today? any menu specials?"

"hello! i'd like to have a — oh my god it's you.." stopping mid-sentence, you clutch the strap of your handbag. the odds weren't one hundred but they definitely weren't zero.

'am i a curse or what?' gojo thinks. your expressions most certainly didn't bypass his radar. setting his offense aside, he continues, "i'm sorry, we don't have an "oh my god it's you" on the menu!"

"sorry, i'll have the daily special," counting the money needed, you wait for him to finish his cashier duties.

"that'll be ten dollars and ninety-nine cents," satoru says, raising his hand to collect the money. for some rather peculiar reason, it seems as though a twenty dollar bill is stuck on its owner's hand.

"miss, please let go of the bill."

"whatever do you mean?"

scoffing, satoru yanks the bill out of your hand. he watches as you twist your face into disgust and shake your hand off. he's sorry, really, but he has to put himself first at times.

—

although satoru was set on escaping early, he now has a reason to stay longer. going out of his way to deliver your meal, satoru sits in front of you. he has the plot and the platform.

"here's your meal, bill, and change," sliding everything to you, he sits with folded arms. this position means business. formal business.

"thank you — but what are you doing there?" you question him, squinting your eyes at his choice of movement.

"don't question me. how have you been though?"

pulling out your fries, you tilt them to his direction, offering them to him. "i've been wonderful, you?"

"my life has been fine. i've recovered ever since you broke up with me," taking a single fry, he shakes his head as he munches.

"that's crazy but why're you even here?" you couldn't contain your curiosity.

"ever since you broke my heart, i needed to get my life back." gojo takes two fries this time, munching them in sadness.

"ah, i see." you reply.

"it's amazing that you can see ever since you broke up with—"

"do NOT finish that sentence." glaring at satoru, you shut down his pity party. whatever he has going on needs to stop.

"you stop me from doing stuff the same way you stopped my heart ever since you —" satoru tries to finish but was met with a burger being shoved in his mouth.

smiling to himself, he compliments himself as he managed to annoy you. satoru can only thank the gods that you don't despise him. even if you do then that's a problem for someone else.

on your side, you're regretting handing over your burger to him. you were sure that breaking up with him will cause a broken heart but it seems like someone's doing fine. taking a sip from your drink, you look at satoru who's happily eating your food. 'he looks cute' you think.

"satoru," you speak up, redirecting his attention from the burger and onto you.

"hm?" he hums, wiping away the sauces on his face.

inhaling a deep breath, you mentally prepare before asking him, "wanna come over tonight?"

satoru's mouth shaped like an 'O', he thinks for a while before agreeing, "i'd love to — especially after you broke up with me."

"i swear i will kill you, satoru."

#+ rizsu: jujutsu kaisen. #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #gojo satoru x reader #gojo x reader #gojo fluff

[tikus-library]

"The Look"

Avengers AU - Quick Fic

Characters: Sam Wilson, Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers, Reader

Posted: Jan 20th

WARNINGS: none, idiots being idiots

A/N: I was at the laundromat yesterday when I saw the gif and needed to write something- so gave this.

Like, Comments, & Reblogs are always appreciated and loved.

**Please Do Not Repost or 'Fix' My Work**

Leave kudos on Ao3

“Here comes Y/N! Do the thing- do the thing!” Sam elbowed him, shit eating grin in place.

Bucky sighed with his entire soul, “Sam, it doesn't do anything, it's just a look, that's all, it doesn't matter”

“If it doesn't matter then do it.”

“Why would I?” He shot back as Sam stopped, shifted his hip out and crossed his arms.

Sam rolled his eyes to Steve, “he won't do the thing!”

“Steve get your friend”

“He's more your friend than mine these days pal,” Steve chuckled.

“Here she comes… you should see how she reacts to it, you'd understand me Steve, this one here is just an idiot.”

Bucky narrowed his eyes as Steve shrugged, shook his head and raised his hands in classic ‘I don't know’ fashion. “fine-” he bit out, stepping out between them and tipping his head down and looking up at you.

Today couldn't get worse. Today everything was wrong. Today every file that was sent to you was backwards or upside down, some were even corrupted and Tony thought it was the funniest shit, as if you could be any later now you had to do a quick debriefing of the three stooges that were currently coming back in from a mission and really as if you didn't get enough shoved on your plate– wonderful, you perked up realizing the three were right there, together, you could get it done in five minutes as long as you heckled them.

You could just stare at Steve or Sam. They were good, wholesome, wonderful guys that were not the sergeant. Not that Bucky wasn't wholesome or handsome– actually he was very handsome, distractingly so, especially when he smiled, or put his hand through his hair, or just breathed in your general vicinity.

Speaking of the Sergeant you saw him step forwards and meet your gaze, head dropping, hair shifting forwards to frame his face, lips pressed down and bright blue eyes focused on you.

Your brain flat lined.

Y/N stopped in her tracks, her determined steps halting, Bucky cocked his head to the side and was surprised when she did an abrupt about face and practically RAN back in the direction she had come from. He shoved a hand into his face.

Great, now you were scared of him, as if he didn't have enough trouble figuring out what to say to you. Now you wouldn't show your face around him.

Steve guffawed, bringing Bucky back out of his depressed thoughts. “Good gawd Buck, I forgot the effect you had on a woman.”

“What?!” He demanded, “she ran out of here in fear for her life!” Sam cracked, a howl of laughter spilling forth, Bucky clenched his fists, “you think that's funny?”

Sam clapped a hand on his shoulder, “that wasn't fear man! That girl wants you, she wants you real bad.”

Bucky jerked back, blinking hard. “No.”

Steve nodded as he looked over at him. “That wasn't fear pal, that was panic, I can tell you this much – Y/N is quiet because when she does speak she can't keep her mouth in check, which usually tends to land her in hot water.”

Bucky turned to Sam, who was wiping away a few tears, “she has literally called us both hot, but said there was no way she would date us.”

“But when I asked her for her opinion on you–” Steve laughed, but sobered and leveled a look at him, “buddy, ya need to talk to her.”

“It was pretty colorful,” Sam murmured

“What did she say?” Bucky asked.

Sam shook his head, looking over at Steve, “did you see the way she shivered at the look?”

Steve nodded laughing as he moved around Bucky, “makes you realize what she said had to be true.”

Sam gasped as the two continued to walk, “Y/N! She really is full of surprises! Scandalous!!!”

“WHAT DID SHE SAY?!” Bucky cried following the two.

#the Look #james bucky barnes #quick fic #sam wilson #steve Rogers #reader

[toy-powerhouse]

Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Disappointments: A Brutally Honest Review of Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is the most disappointing thing since my son… And, my other three sons, my four sons who also happen to be teenage mutant ninja turtles. You know what they say: life imitates art. Much like my dissatisfying sons, I really wanted to like the series when I stumbled across it, but there was so much lacking in its execution that prevented it from reaching its potential (Editor’s Note: okay, Red Letter Media-esque joke over). Before its release in 2018, there were very vocal Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fans who were skeptical about Rise of the TMNT and many of the changes the series made to established lore. Raphael is the fearless leader, instead of Leonardo; April is Black American as opposed to white like she is in most iterations; and the series is more comedic in tone, unlike other recent adaptations that have an even balance of comedy and drama. I welcomed all the changes to the TMNT formula, and I was eager to see it. Now that I’ve finally finished watching it, I’m left disappointed with it. Before we jump headfirst into why this series can be dissatisfying, I want to preface this to state that many fans treat this series with a certain level of reverence often to the extent of hyper analyzing it. Here, I’m going to give it that sort of treatment, but this time to analyze its shortcomings as a work of fiction.

Bad Comedy, Worse Drama

The major driving force of RotTMNT is its comedy (that acronym is unfortunately very apt). It’s arguably the most comedy-centric animated television series since the 1987 TMNT show. With comedy being the most important quality of the series, the biggest question then is: is it funny? Even ardent dissenters of the show say it’s somewhat funny. As for myself, I’m a person who can find humor even in media that I may otherwise dislike. I’m a simple kind of gal, if it’s funny, then I’ll laugh. With something like RotTMNT, that I did, initially, like, I’d sit patiently waiting for any of the slapstick or quips to make me laugh. Smiling politely at the screen, just waiting, only for me to not laugh or even chuckle before the end credits rolled. So, what’s the problem? Usually, there’s something off about the humor that stops it from being funny. The character’s expressions are too exaggerated or too subdued, sporadic insertion of weak meta or fourth-wall breaking humor, jokes running contrary to canon events or characterization, gags end too abruptly or continue for too long, poor timing of punchlines, poorly directed line deliveries or less than stellar audio mixing (e.g., characters’ speech being difficult to hear from speaking too quickly or quietly), and so on.

Something else that causes the humor to fall flat on its face, is the overreliance on subpar slapstick comedy with lots of pratfalls while mugging for the camera. Too much of Rise of the TMNT relies heavily on characters making goofy faces and acting buffoonish in place of carefully executed comedic scenarios or witty dialogue. There are many children’s cartoons that largely avoid resorting to overusing such low hanging fruit, so RotTMNT cannot be excused for its limited variety in comedic stylings in a bid to appeal to its young target demographic.

The character that best reflects all this bad comedy is arguably, and ironically, the funniest of the turtles: Donatello (no, why’d it have to be the overrated one). Jokes that tend to land often involve Donnie and his funniness seems to be confirmed in-universe when in Season 1, Episode 16, “Shadow of Evil,” Splinter refers to Donnie as being the “funny one.” Because much of the humor is flawed, many of the jokes or gags with Donnie at the center of them don’t stick their landing. Using Donnie, let’s briefly examine how something like inconsistent characterization can break a joke:

LEO: “And Donnie, where’s your . . . your thing, your – emotionless passion?"

DONNIE: "[Head down, speaks very quietly.] Here."

This joke doesn’t work because “emotionless passion” is not something that accurately describes Donnie. He’s a very emotional lad. Even in the context of this episode, he’s a very emotional lad. The very notion of Donatello being “emotionless” doesn’t make sense as it doesn’t align with his baseline characterization. Case in point:

Yup, baseline Donnie is totally emotionless. Look at all that no emotion.

As a result, what could have been a funny joke, is ruined by clashing with what’s been established about Donnie. Were Donnie a more reserved character, it could have been somewhat chuckle-worthy. As is, it's pretty unfunny. While this is only one example of how the humor is off, it’s still very indicative of this issue. Like, I could go on, but this review is getting long enough, and I get the feeling I’ll need to check on my own unfunny teenage mutant ninja turtle sons soon.

Anyway, the only thing worse than RotTMNT’s comedy is the drama. While the comedy of the series very occasionally has its merits, the dramatic cues virtually all fail. For dramatic points in any form of media to be developed successfully, they need time to be set up. In this series, finer plot points don’t get the opportunity to unfold properly and are mostly shoved into the finales. The rush to introduce new dramatic plot elements and quickly wrap them up really depreciates the value of moments that are meant to be heartfelt or intense. Premature cancellation aside, more could have been done to avoid this problem. If the first season had not wasted so much time with bad comedy, the series could have set up crucial stakes and important characters sooner rather than later. The season two finale is especially guilty of rushed, poorly set up melodrama with how they speedrun introducing a key character like Karai only to send her off before we as an audience really got to know her. Speaking of poor set ups, this segways perfectly into my next segment.

Overly Hyperactive Storytelling and Underbuilt Worldbuilding

A common complaint levied against RotTMNT by critics is how fast paced everything about it is, to the point of being downright incomprehensible at times. From the animation to line delivery, the show is HYPERACTIVE, caps locked and bolded for emphasis. This is especially true for fight and action scenes, where all sense of direction is easily lost by how quickly characters, props, and backgrounds move about. It can become grating having to rewind, pause, or even reduce the playback speed simply to understand what happens. Goodness, even my disappointing and rambunctious teenage mutant ninja turtle sons think this show needs to chill.

I’ve taken to referring to the series as being a “memory vampire.” I can watch an episode and almost immediately forget what I have just seen as if RotTMNT is feeding off my memories like a loathsome parasite. I can recall watching episodes from other TMNT adaptations that I saw nearly a decade ago, I remember even the smallest details with ease. But an episode of Rise of the TMNT that I saw last week: I got nothing. Because it’s so much of a whirlwind of pointless action and bad comedy where very little is usually accomplished. I’ve seen fans make light of how Rise of the TMNT is “ADHD the show,” and while true, it’s definitely not a good thing.

If that weren’t bad enough, we also must contend with careless worldbuilding. That issue of ill-advised worldbuilding being most apparent with the Yōkai and their world, the Hidden City. Possibly one of the greatest missed opportunities of this series is how underutilized and underdeveloped the Yōkai are. Despite their species namesake being lifted from yōkai, supernatural creatures from Japanese mythology and folklore, they lack any significant connection with that very specific lore. Most Yōkai we see in Rise of the TMNT, are generic monsters and anthropomorphized animal beings that don’t appear to have any direct relation to traditional yōkai myth. There’s Big Mama, who is a jorōgumo, a nefarious spider creature who often shapeshifts into a beautiful woman to lure in prey, and maybe Mayhem who could be the show’s take on a komainu or lion-dog, those lion-like dog statues positioned at the entrances of Japanese temples and shrines to act as protectors of hallowed ground.

Aside from Big Mama, Mayhem (maybe), and a few others (including one-offs like the dragon yōkai Boss Bruce and his posse and possibly Tummytello, that could be a take on the parasitic yōkai disease, oseichu), there isn’t much Japanese mythology that influences the portrayal of the Yōkai. As a casual yōkai enjoyer, it’s disappointing to see the crew behind the show not make full use of that rich history through explicit representation. Maybe there were concerns about mishandling Japanese culture, but then why invoke the yōkai name in the first place if cultural insensitivity was a concern? Maybe there are more explicit designs or references to Japanese lore that I’ve forgotten to mention, again this show is a “memory vampire,” but even if that were the case, there’s still too much plausible deniability to it all. Regardless, the Yōkai mostly being a hodgepodge of indeterminate ghoulies is distracting and fails to create a more cohesive, immersive world.

Various yōkai that don't seem to make appearances in RotTMNT. This is just a sample of what could have been.

Collective Characterization: Friendless Losers with Unearned Power (cool band name, idk)

This will be less of an in-depth character analysis as much as this segment is a general overview of how the series approaches two things: the turtles’ status as underdog superheroes and their social support network.

Besides disappointing, another word I would use to describe Rise of the TMNT is unearned. For much of the series, our protagonists tend to bumble about, causing almost as many problems as they resolve. In fact, just about every major problem the turtles encounter, is of their own making; from releasing the oozequitos that mutated the denizens of New York to unleashing the Shredder who has villainous ambitions of conquering the world, just about everything can be blamed on them. These aren’t heroes, they’re troublemaking buffoon clowns. These buffoon clowns ultimately get rewarded time and time again for blundering misdeeds that they fix at the eleventh hour. This especially becomes tiring when it’s all nestled in the series’ ad nauseam lesson: the turtles need to focus and take things seriously. Over and over again it’s the same lesson of “get your (pardon my French) merde together.” I’ve seen fans misguidedly try to spin this as the turtles being lovable cringefail, losers, which may have been the case had the series not tried to portray them very earnestly as the ultimate heroes, without a shred of irony or self-awareness. In that way, the show plays itself too safe and yet not safe enough. Instead of a cynical romp with mutant losers with even looser morals, or well-meaning mutants who try their damndest to achieve their noble goals, we get something awkwardly caught in between, unable to commit to either in a satisfying way.

Being the insufferable screw-ups that they are, it’s not surprising that the turtles lack a support network. Friends, allies, helpful acquaintances, or friendly neighbors; doesn’t matter, because these turtles ain’t really got ‘em. In actuality, the series is more about making fiends then friends as almost every character the turtles encounter becomes an antagonist. For a show that seems to pride itself in presenting more positive bonds between the characters, especially the turtles, it’s a little odd, isn’t it? In this regard, it’s hard not to compare Rise of the TMNT to other iterations, because it appears to be missing something inherent to many other adaptations. That something being the turtles desire to form connections with those outside their family unit and, seemingly against all odds, their ability to do so. A common theme throughout the franchise is their pining for meaningful relationships outside themselves and Splinter and how they manage to forge those relationships with other misfits. Rise of the TMNT has virtually no interest in engaging with this theme and, as a result, is left emptier for it.

While there are a handful of characters who do become allies, or even family members (e.g., the redeemed Baron Draxum), they’re largely kept at arm’s length with their loyalty to the turtles at times being, for lack of a better term, “dunked on.” For instance, in the season one finale, “End Game,” the following allies join April and Splinter to rescue the turds, I mean, turts: Bullhop (legit, forgot that dude existed), Frankenfoot (who deserves better than being a sentient punching bag), S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N (who, mind you, is basically Donnie’s son), and Todd Capybara (Splinter x Todd 5ever, fuck Draxum). Only for the quartet to be “humorously” captured immediately and never brought up again in the episode. RotTMNT is so strangely anti-friend/ally that the only relationships given any real weight are virtually all familial with April herself being upgraded from friend to honorary member of the Hamato clan by the end of the series.

The turtles lack a support system outside themselves and it’s not something they ever angst about or that poorly impacts them, despite how integral social deprivation tends to be for the turtles in other iterations. Even the Micheal Bay produced films portrayed that anxiety around being outcasts as worthy of attention, that the turtles are brutally aware of being misfits and that seeking acceptance from the outside world is important to them. This theme doesn’t need to be the focus of every adaptation. However, its absence in RotTMNT does strip from the characters an extra layer of depth and misses out on an opportunity to make them more relatable to members of the audience, especially those who’ve ever felt alienated.

The Cowabunga Conclusion: Let’s take a moment to enjoy our Hot Soup!

Not all of Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is disappointing. There are good aspects of the series. The increased presence of female characters. Big Mama, Cassandra “Casey” Jones, and Sunita (Casey x April x Sunita = Caprisun, the best ship 5ever); I <3 these girls! Casey had the most satisfying, fully realized character arc of the series. The turtles get to be more emotionally vulnerable, which definitely is a welcome change. I love that Raph is a proud lover of plushies and other cute things, that’s so adorable. Mikey is explicitly artsy, and as an artist myself, I really appreciate that. It’s been confirmed by a show writer that Donnie is on the autism spectrum. Right on! Leo is gay (that’s not confirmed, I’m just being facetious). RotTMNT has brought a lot of good to the TMNT table. As a result, it breathed new life into the overall franchise and its fanbase. Post-RotTMNT, the wider TMNT fanbase has experienced a bit of a paradigm shift into becoming a more inclusive, safe space. Honestly, I’d say my return to the fandom was all thanks to RotTMNT and its rejuvenating effect on the franchise.

Nonetheless, the series itself is still a raging migraine. I’m only scratching the surface with this. I plan to explore other failings of this series more in-depth in other posts. Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Movie… I’m coming for you… I got a bone to pick with how Draxum’s redemption was handled. The turtles’ deus ex machina mystic powers… Atrocious. The merchandise…

Sometimes a picture, of off-model action figures, is worth a thousand words.

I know I’m not the only one who thinks this series fumbled the ball big time. While executive meddling and lack of support from the network certainly contributed to RotTMNT’s downfall, a good deal of the show’s shortcomings cannot be blamed on those factors. Not the execs, not the airing scheduling, not the marketing, not the audience; the show itself is flawed and that in part led to its premature demise.

The series leaves me disappointed. Very disappointed. Like, Splinter is in “Insane in the Mama Train.”

RAPH: “Puppy dog eyes won’t cut it. [Splinter] isn’t mad, he’s disappointed. We need to make it up to him guys big time.”

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go check on my teenage mutant ninja turtle sons. I got a text from the unfunniest one, and it seems like they’ve accidentally doomed the universe like the cringefail losers they are. Oh, well. If they fix their mistake in time, I might treat them to some pizza rolls. Cowabunga, dudes and dudettes! 🐢❤️💙🧡💜🥷

#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the tmnt #rottmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt

[bropunzeling]

Ratthew and girl!Leon plus baby would be such a fucking nightmare for everyone who has to see/interact with them. They already are when it's just the two of them. But with baby it's sickening. And you know it would be a beautiful baby which just adds insult to injury.

"You don't have to come," Brady says as they wait for the Uber.

Tim rolls his eyes. "Leon invited me," he points out. "Because we're friends. We're like this." He twists his fingers together.

Well, Leon answers more than half of his texts. It got up to nine out of ten when they were at Worlds! Tim figures that counts for a lot.

"And I want to see the baby," Tim continues. "She looks so cute."

"The baby is very cute," Brady admits begrudgingly. "The baby is not the problem."

"What, you're not happy for them?"

"I am!" Brady exclaims, flinging his arms right as the car comes up. "Of course I am! I want Matthew to be happy! But like -- dude, you haven't seen them. You don't know what they're like."

"I was at your wedding," Tim points out as he gets in the Uber. More specifically, he was there when Matthew and Leon snuck out halfway through the dance party, and then fifteen minutes later when they came back in looking extremely rumpled. Leon's expression when Tim told her that her zipper was unhooked was one of the funniest things he'd seen in his life. "And when we went out for dinner last year." That time, he got to tell Matthew he missed a button in his shirt.

"Okay, but like, it's worse now," Brady says as he shuts the car door and the guy starts driving. "I'm just saying. I'm giving you an out."

Tim rolls his eyes again. Like Brady can talk. He's pulling out the kid pictures every practice, even the ones he texted to Tim in the moment. Frankly, Tim thinks it's good for him to get a taste of his own medicine.

When they get to the house, nothing seems out of the ordinary. Matthew lets them in, does the normal hug and backslap song and dance, offers to bring them some beers. "We're getting delivery," he says as he directs them towards the living room like an air traffic controller. "Hope you're in the mood for Thai."

"Thai sounds good," Brady says as they round the corner, and then--

Tim kind of didn't believe it was real, despite the pictorial evidence Brady gets on a daily basis and Tim sees through the power of being nosy. But there's Leon Draisaitl, standing by the fireplace holding an extremely small, extremely cute baby. The baby has a little hat, and a team themed onesie, and a small, cranky expression that’s very reminiscent of when the Sens blocked Leon's attempt at a game winning goal last spring. Even as Tim watches, she yawns hugely and then blinks at the room with enormous blue eyes.

Brady was right. The baby is very cute.

"Hi," Matthew says in a soft voice that Tim has not heard once in his life, Brady and Tim forgotten as he beelines over and wraps an arm around Leon’s waist. "How are my best girls doing?"

Leon looks back at him with a smile and a soppy expression that could cause cavities. It kind of makes Tim want to go get his head checked in case the hit he took in Tampa was worse than he thought.

"Told you," Brady hisses under his breath. "You could have saved yourself."

Then he crosses the living room and says, "So when do I get to hold my niece?"

#ask #girl!leon wip :) #this is so silly and frothy im so sorry

[essie007]

Wheel of Time Season 2 Thoughts

Now that the season is over and I’ve had a few days to process I thought I’d put some of my thoughts about the season. No major book spoilers but I do make mention to some of the changes they’ve made while adapting the first two books. I might make a more book spoilery post later.

-Overall I really enjoyed the season. I think it was well written, tight and delivered both storywise and character wise. The costuming, special effects and art direction continues to be top tier and I found the season highly watchable and compelling. I did not love absolutely every moment and decision and definitely have a few nitpicks but as a whole I really liked it. I will say that I think a lot of the issues I did have with the season can be boiled down to the limited amount of time they had to tell the story they needed to tell. I really think this show would benefit from at least 10 episodes and season if not more, and I know that’s an opinion many have echoed.

- I loved all the White Tower stuff in the first half of the season. It was a good set-up for tower politics, different factions, how The One Power works and it introduced us to a lot of important characters.

-Hi Elayne! I love you and you are perfect girl!

-Nyneave’s Tower story and block was A+

-I personally didn’t mind Siuan’s book scenes being given to Liandrin. I think it was necessary to tell the story they needed to tell in the time they needed to tell it. And I thought Liandrin’s whole story, the explanation of why she turned to the Black Ajah was interesting both to make her a more compelling villain and to set up the stakes of the universe. We need to be worried that our heroes will choose the dark at some point, and for that to be a real threat we need good reasons why other have. All of her scenes were great. Loved her scenes with Nyneave, Egwene and Lanfear. And her petty fighting with Suroth. *chef’s kiss*

-I’m just gonna say it ok? Are you ready? I LOVE show!Alanna. Book fans can give me the stink eye if they want, but as she’s been portrayed on screen so far she rocks. The actress is incredible and the writing has done an excellent job as setting her up as a genuine, moral, strong and honestly necessary pillar of light in the dark. You really feel she is fighting on the side of good with everything she has, no matter what it costs her. She’s also a genuinely good teacher in the Tower! The way she fights for the girls, and for Moiraine, and later for Rand. We love to see it. Her story in many ways mirrors Moraine’s. The show has done a very good job of making her a character that you are strongly empathizing with and rooting for. And honestly book knowledge has only made me feel that more strongly. Knowing how many darkfriends she is holding the line against, you FEEL how necessary and important the work she does is. And I am starting to understand how she, like Moiraine and Siuan this season, and Rand in the story to come, might start feeling weighed down by that. My girl fits right in with the themes of the story. Sorry not sorry. I am weak for MILFs.

-Egwene’s entire storyline this season kicked ass. I think she had, hands down, the best story arc from beginning to end. I have very little to say about it because it was all perfectly done. And when she killed Rena, instead of sparing her like you’re expecting, oh boy did I cheer.

-Rand’s storyline, if you knew who Lanfear was from the outset was fun all the way through. Though I have it on good authority from @steel-wings that if you went in blind, it was quite slow in the beginning. I do have to say that the introduction to Rand this season being “he’s sleeping with an innkeeper for room and board” was the funniest and best thing I have ever seen. Dana The Darkfired from last season continues to give. No honestly, this is genuine foreshadowing (Selene is also *gasp* a Darkfriend) and character work. They decided to show Rand’s declining mental state and self esteem by contrasting how willing he was to sugarbaby this season with how against it he was last season. 10/10 no notes.

-Rand is a Mental Health Worker! I’m going to cry! Yes I know he has reasons for doing this but watching Rand with that old man, knowing he’s been doing this job for almost a year. Excuse me I need a moment.

-The Lanfear reveal kicked ass. She is so crazy and so evil and so manipulative. Love to see it in a villain. The scene where she “learns” Rand can channel was honestly hilarious. Although this was the moment that @steel-wings lost her patience with the storyline.

Steelwings: Ugh. This is so boring. She’s just there for his manpain. I can’t watch any more of this. It would have been better if she was evil.

Me knowing my wife is at the end of her patience and is about to abandon this show I love but not knowing how long they’re planning to draw the reveal out, pausing the tv: Do you want me to spoil you?

Steelwings: Yes! Spoil me! PLEASE tell me she’s evil.

Me: She’s evil :D She’s the most evil bitch whose ever lived. She’s so evil and so crazy and so manipulative. She’s Oppenheimer if he worshipped the devil and *horrifying spoilers*

Steelwings settling back in to watch: Love that for her. 🙂

-Perrin’s storyline was the least ineteresting and slowest of the mains but with the rest of the show so jam packed it felt like a nice break in some ways to have some breathing room with Perrin. We’ve got Egwene being tortured by the Seanchan and Mat being tortured by the Forsaken and Rand being imprisoned by the Amyrlin. Meanwhile, Perrin has met a cute girl and a dog. Good for him.

-MAAAAT. MAT! My baby boy Mat Cauthon. You are having a no good very bad life huh? And it’s only season 2 *cries* I did love the way he turned the dagger into a spear there at the end and also…HE’S A HERO OF THE HORN! I thought that was a perfect choice. Really made sense with his storyline and character arc. It also gives them a really good plot excuse for him to suddenly know how to fight with his big stick. Mat’s “I remember” and his Old Tongue and his immediate military Glow Up. So good. So fun. I will be screaming forever.

-Speaking of screaming forever the Cauthor reunion had me screaming and crying and dying. I will never be the same. It was giving big stars fading (but i linger on) by @butterflydm vibes. If you haven’t read it, it’s a fic that also adapts The Great Hunt as season 2 by saying “what if Rand just hung around Carhein playing Sugar Baby and getting dicked down while everyone else hunted for the horn?” (It’s really good and you should read it.) Hey @butterflydm how does it feel to be so smart and correct all the time?

-I was expecting the Mat stabs Rand moment to be caused by Compulsion, not friendly fire. It would have given him a really good reason to go searching for something to protect him from the OP in the future. But I’m not mad. We got some top tier cradling out of it. Although this is the second time Ishy has pulled that move (the first was with Rand at the Eye). Boy is not an original thinker.

-I know a lot of people were sad that Rand did not get cool sword battles this season. And look, I get it, the books lean hard in to the cool power fantasy moments with Rand, so if that’s your thing and what you came for, this show probably is letting you down. But I gotta say, as someone who has always been here for the characters and themes and narrative, I LOVE what they did with the battle here. AND with Rand’s learning curve.

-I love that Rand knows exactly one weave at this point, and that that weave is “make knife.” I LOVE that Lan is the one who taught it to him. (Miss me with your Lan hate.) I love that the first thing he did with it wasn’t fight an enemy but free Moiraine from her bonds, heal her, even though he’s not a healer. A knife is a tool and you can use it to heal or to fight. Just as Ryma used her healing weaves to rip Damane bodies apart, Rand uses his knife weaves to “heal.” I love that the second thing he uses that weave for IS to destroy Turak’s fighting force. I did not at all feel I had been robbed of a sword fight. I cheered! Excellent little Indiana Jones moment, right there. Rand WAS badass. And most of all I love that he wasn’t able to to defeat Ishmael on his own, that he needed Egwene and Perrin and Mat and Moiraine and Elayne and Nyneave. Like that’s the point! Lanfear is running around the city trying to dump the other Forsaken in the ocean. Ishmael is standing on that tower alone and betrayed with no allies. But Rand has friends! He has people who come to help him! And that is why he wins. That’s whole point. Hello theme of friendship and connection, I love you, never go anywhere.

-Also Moiraine being like I would kill thousands of people to help Rand made me snort and go “Ok Mom.” Yeah yeah scorched earth morality. Ruthlessness. She is on a mission to save the world even if she has to destroy the world in the process. But also Moiraine IS that meme from Parks and Rec. She has only had Rand Al’Thor for a year but if anything happens to him she will kill everyone in this room and then herself. Now fly the Dragon Banner.

-All that being said, there was one storyline this season that really did not hit for me, and I am sorry to say it was the Siuan Sanche of it all. I have spent a lot of time turning that episode over in my head and I still haven’t put all my thoughts together but ultimately I will say this. Yes, if you were expecting Siuan from the books her actions were definitely character assassination. She makes the exact opposite choices in the show. However, I understand why, both narratively and time wise those changes were made so I’m going to do my best to react to the story they told and the character they wrote, not the one I was expecting. The real problem I think with the story they told is that they didn’t give us enough time in Siuan’s POV and with Siuan’s story to really truly empathize with the decisions she’s making. We spend the episode in Rand and Moiraine’s POVs and honestly I think that’s a big mistake, because we don’t learn any new information about either of them. But in order for that moment at the end with Moiraine to truly be heartbreaking, in order for us to really understand why she’s imprisoning Rand at all we need to see her struggles and her fears and her beliefs. I talked earlier about how they do a good job showing what Alanna and Moiraine are up against but they needed to give us that with Siuan. We’re told she has enemies in the tower, we’re told she’s been depending on Moiraine and Rand to be the ace up her sleeve in the last battle, but we don’t see the emotional toll of that. And at the end there I think the writing needed to make it perfectly crystal clear that Siuan believes that Moiraine is black ajah. A casual viewer should understand and feel for Siuan who is doing this terrible thing because she believes she is saving the world, saving Rand, from a Forsaken and a darkfriend who has lied to her and betrayed her. But it's just not there. I understand that this plot point and this story serves a narrative purpose. It sets up Rand's relationship with the White Tower and the Aes Sedai as a whole. It draws a thematic parallel between the three Oaths and the Seanchan oaths and damane system. It brings up the theme of how power corrupts, how even good people who are doing their best to help the many, can use their power to do horrifying things when they believe it is necessary. But I think it still needed more set up and more character development and more room to breathe. I have…a lot more to say on the subject but I might need to make it it’s own post. I definitely think the writers have set themselves up for a headache when it comes to next season but that’s spoilers so I’ll end this here.

#wheel of time #wot on prime #wot s2 spoilers #wot season 2

[theygotlost]

one of the many things I like about the prose of catch 22 is these types of dialogue tags. It's true that overusing unique dialogue tags can become obtrusive to the reader and it's okay to use "said" most of the time (even better if you use none at all, something that happens in catch 22 a lot given all the rapid-fire dialogue), but words like "observed", "agreed", "remembered", and "decided" do a lot for characterization.

when searching for alternatives to "said", a writer may be inclined to use other words that communicate tone of voice or utterance, like "shouted", "giggled" "whimpered", etc. and there's nothing wrong with that. but I like the words heller uses here because they give a much more direct glimpse into a character's state of mind, from which the reader can extrapolate how the character would deliver the line, rather than the other way around.

for example with the first excerpt, de coverley is ignoring everything milo is saying and restating it as if it was his own idea. with the line "'I like my fresh eggs fried,' major de coverley remembered", we get the sense that he's not entirely present in the conversation because he's distracted by a memory. this kind of thing helps to cement the nature of the conversation and his attitude toward milo way more than a mere "said" would.

similarly with "'I'm not going to argue with you,' clevinger decided", it's apparent that clevinger is saying this just as much to convince himself as it is to convince yossarian. again it gives me the sense that he's thinking aloud. the funniest part is that his "decision" is immediately undermined by the fact that he continues to argue with yossarian anyway, because he's clevinger. just something i think is neat

#wait a minute.... this isnt my 10th grade english class !! this is a TUMBLR POST !!! 😨😱

[mylittleredgirl]

i'm having a time of it where i couldn't look at screens very much, so i haven't been watching or posting as much about m*a*s*h, but you'd better believe that has left me even more time to THINK about m*a*s*h!!!

buckle up: update for season four disc one!

(after welcome to korea, that is, which was another post)

headline: LOVE the new characters!!

bj has somehow already committed arson?? hawkeye, you are SUCH a bad example for your little brother

at some point down the line i'm sure i will stop infantilizing this grown ass man but for now literally everything bj does i'm like. that's a Baby.

especially when he participates in a bit where they're going after frank or margaret, who he literally just met

you know when there's like a ten-year-old with a strong opinion about something, like "that [toy, tv show, video game] SUCKS!" with all the rage and feeling in their world-weary heart

... and then one step behind them is the five-year-old who chimes in "yeah that REALLY sucks!" but with this innocent delight in their eyes, like they have no idea what's going on but they're getting a really good grade in Big Kid

that's BJ, is what i'm saying

and colonel potter! he's regular army!! but it's ok: he drinks

it's soooo perfect that he and bj share their first o.r. scene. the sweet calming mentor energy... i'm luv him.

and then HE SHOOTS THE DEAD JEEP. i'm still laughing about that. if colonel potter never does one more funny thing again he's still the funniest man alive.

meanwhile! we join our established characters already in progress

frank and hawkeye's relationship gets genuinely hostile there for a while. uncomfortably so, even.

and during the week i was too dizzy to sit up and make this post i spent a LOT of time thinking about this!!!

each of them are spinning out for their own reasons, which play out all over this season so far. frank gained and lost the power he wanted so badly. hawkeye lost both his besties at the same time, and the support structure and identity that went along with that.

but also trapper's absence on its own radically changed the swamp boys dynamic!!

frank has always been justifiably hateable, but there was a SPORT to it, you know? hawkeye and trapper were tormenting him largely to entertain each other, which means they did it a lot but only to the point where it was funny

and think about the "but there's no real hate, right?" in O.R., like in frank's mind, they torture him but they're all still buddies!!! (and the occasional peek into frank's sad childhood could explain this perception)

it quickly becomes clear in season 4 that trapper was a tempering influence between hawkeye and frank, who end up in a full on BRAWL

LIKE A DRAWN OUT PHYSICAL FIGHT

also hard to watch: frank wrecking margaret's tent. hmm. mm-mmm. don't like this.

on the other hand, i loved the "i'm here but we're not doing anything!" scene in the next episode when they're playing cards in her tent. they're always slapping or kissing or scheming -- i feel like this is the first time we ever see them just hanging out like friends

… with anyone, actually. like this thirty seconds of a card game just unlocked an unseen part of both their personalities

something subtle is shifting in this relationship. by the end of "the kids," even sober-margaret is getting in on the joke that frank sucks. i await future developments.

THE KIIIIIIIIIIDS

oh god it's so sweet and harmless. it's healing. i love it. i want to roll around in that episode.

i hope "frank scams a purple heart and hawkeye steals it" continues to happen every season, like the mail episodes

i learned that alan alda directed this ep, which means that he made the decision both in front of and behind the camera for hawkeye to make this face as bj tells a bedtime story:

hawkeye!!!! don't fall in love with straight boys!!!!!

other things:

I'M STILL GRIEVING BY THE WAY

THEY CROPPED MY BOY OUT OF THE OPENING SEQUENCE

THEY CROPPED HIMMMMMM

henry blake memorial bar we hardly knew ye 😢

the moment when hawkeye is like yeah bj, just to get you up to speed: henry was basically radar's dad

any time they mention henry or trapper i have feelings but ALSO i have feelings whenever i think maybe they could have mentioned them but didn't. mentioned them IN MY HEART.

i'm a little fixated on the choice to replace henry and trapper, notorious philanderers, with characters who are immediately identified as Wife Guys

genuinely if y'all hadn't told me that mclean stevenson and wayne rogers wanted out, i would have assumed the character shakeup happened specifically for that reason!

totally other topic but i'm definitely missing some kind of joke here and it's driving me nuts: every time a british character shows up they're heavily spray-tanned. what does it meeeeaaaan??

and lastly. best part of "the bus" is the knowledge that somewhere off-screen, margaret, klinger, and the nurses are running the camp.

#it's about time i watched m*a*s*h #mashblogging

[sometipsygnostalgic]

@quirrelli​ this requires no daring as it was the intention from the OUTSET, ive not yet seen a more fitting poll 

So Catrapta is the funniest ship because i have a bunch of ideas for it and most of them have Catra being absolutely infuriated that she’s fallen in love with Entrapta, and even my works where they’re not a thing have them being so aggressively like a pair of cats together that people tag it #catrapta, they are... girlfriends-adjacent... 

Also it’s my two favourite characters so I smush them together like plushies...

However if we take things a bit more seriously then we can go in a couple of directions.

1. The super fluffy take that you usually see me drawing of two autistic catgirls in their final form, sensitivity understanding and solidarity between two former villains/weirdos/depends what au you are going for, OR  

2. An incredibly difficult and fucked up relationship more similar to the one we saw grow across the show. Imagine if they DID have a thing going on in season 1, and then they STILL had the onesided rivalry after Hordak was pulling his favouritism bullshit, and Catra STILL sent Entrapta to beast island. Imagine how much more heartbreaking that would be. The canon iteration is already shattering, with Catra being Entrapta’s first friend, and then we see the psychological impact that has on them both afterwards. 

I’ve toyed with AU ideas where we can use something similar in a more explicitly romantic (and less age ambiguous) context wherein Adora breaks up with Catra, who rebounds hard onto her new roommate/colleague who is like “wow this is fun” and then Entrapta’s more successful at work than Catra, who is falling apart, ends what they have and eventually kicks her out, and they both take it really badly.  

I don’t know, there’s something really inviting about the psychology behind that dynamic, Catra’s mentality in general when it comes to Entrapta and how broken she is by betraying her but how she KEEPS ON DOING SO, CONTINUOUSLY, because she can’t go back now or she’ll have to face that she was wrong about EVERYTHING....  and of course the dependence Entrapta would have on Catra as one of the only people she thought cared about her, only to get rejected in the most brutal way possible. 

Then afterwards how do you heal that? How do you fix that and, well, rebuild a new relationship? 

That’s kind of what Catra and Adora are about but I also love exploring that through Catra and Entrapta in their canon friendship, and I suppose in AUs. The only AU I’ve seen where they had a demiromantic relationship but the whole Beast Island thing still happened is “Prime Really Should’ve Known Better” by @nny11writes​ which is an alternate version of “Save the Cat”. 

#she ra #spop #catrapta #catra #entrapta #quirrelli #nunny

[thewertsearch]

And soon, in a place known as the LAND OF CAVES AND SILENCE...

Caves, eh? Looks like the classical element for Equius is earth. 

The Silence, though, I'm not so sure about. The closest Aspect I can relate it to is Breath, since holding your breath causes you to fall silent. Feels like a stretch. 

CT: D --> We will not be co-leaders of the b100 team CT: D --> I alone will be the leader CT: D --> Is that understood AA: thats fine

Congratulations, Equius, on winning that hard-fought power struggle. 

CT: D --> I 100k forward to seeing how well you serve me, server player AA: uh AA: thats n0t quite the meaning 0f the w0rd server

Ooh, right, this is going to be fun, isn’t it? 

For the time being, a low-blood is going to have full control of your environment. You’ll have to rely on her for most of the early game, and if she doesn’t like the direction you’re taking, she can shut you down. 

Plus, you have a huge crush on her. How is that going to manifest?

CT: D --> To consider that someone so low could be in a position of authority over me is CT: D --> It's just so CT: D --> Disgusting AA: y0u really are quite a sn0b

You know things are dire when we're treated to an Aradia Opinion.

AA: maybe y0u sh0uld break s0mething AA: t0 try t0 calm d0wn CT: D --> Perhaps AA: d0 y0u want me t0 break s0mething CT: D --> Whoa what AA: i c0uld break s0mething if y0u want CT: D --> Do you CT: D --> Want to break something AA: kind 0f

oh my god i’m actually losing it 

Aradia, you seem a little off-balance. Did the Voices neglect to mention this one?

CT: D --> I command you to have free will and do as you please CT: D --> And continue being bothersome and unpredictably destructive

The funniest part of this entire exchange is that Aradia basically is in charge; she's the one actually directing the session, as per the instruction of the Voices. 

I think if Equius realized how ‘in charge’ she actually was, he'd faint.

CT: D --> Maybe I would like you to be the co-leader again

Yeah, he's just going to surrender the full leader's position by the end of the page, isn't he? 

#2277 #homestuck liveblog #full liveblog #act 5 #s25 #memes #*checks* YUP #if you're seeing the wrong arrows in CT's text I know #trying to figure out how to turn that feature off