#but it feels good

[hickorybird]

Avian August 2023 Day 1 - red siskin! With chocolate orange cake 🍊

#avian august #avian august 2023 #red siskin #birds #art #trying traditional art this time!! #it's hard #but it feels good

[mr-iskender]

A throwback to what used to be a regular Boston fic kinda day

#also noteworthy: this is rhe single stall bathroom at the office i regularly cry in #like it was just the last week that i was sitting on the floor facing this window and sobbing #BUT ALSO the lighting there is lit -- who knew #im also p sure i bought the shirt back in uni? #and the tshirt -- it was such a fave i wrote a wholeass fic about it #when it did become kinda old and scratchy #and it must have been yesrs since i put it on (for one it makes me itch a little #but also i cannot wear it out to the pt i havr to throw it away you know?) #but it feels good #it feels right #man i wore this exact fit to the boston office so many times 😭 #facing this mirror**

[mun-akoon]

One thing I recently learnt (the hard way) is that my loneliness is absolutely fine. I don’t need to feed it with company all the time. It is okay to have some time not just for myself but even time where I don’t keep my own company. I can leave her on her own own.

#no it doesn’t make sense #personal #but it feels good #at least I know I’ll never rush into any marriage again #out of loneliness

[worm-priest]

Yeosang said he picked the green hair color for himself 😢😢 and people on twitter were being mean about it… 😢😢

#yeosang #the one time he does something for himself #I swear with time I’m going to become the most annoying yeosang stan #who complains about everything #but It feels good #feels organic

[bigolgay]

Trigger warning: early stage miscarriage (10-11 weeks).

(Long post. Also I do go into semi graphic descriptions, so proceed with caution. Mention of clots and things)

Should I add a mature label on this as well? This is a super sensitive topic and I don’t wanna trigger anyone or force this on anyone.

So I started typing out a whole rant thing about how I’m feeling mopey because I wish I wanted kids and I started talking about my miscarriage… and quickly realised… I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned it before?

Which is SHOCKING because I overshare sm on here lmao.

So… time to overshare on the internet about something no one asked about! I honestly find it hard to believe I’ve never mentioned it before though, so maybe I have and just forgot about it? But yeah, I kinda wanna talk about it in a way, I never get to talk about it and I think this sort of awareness and discussion is important? Maybe I’m not the best person to be having it, but it was a big event and I’ve never really talked about it since it all happened.

But yeah, I had a 10-11 week miscarriage when I was 16. Wasn’t super sad, I knew about the pregnancy for less than a week when I miscarried. And was gonna have an abortion anyway. So🤷. So the story goes, I had consensual sex with a boy (we all make mistakes) and I was young and dumb and didn’t use protection (use protection kids), but also I had already been told by doctors that the chance of me getting (and I suppose staying) pregnant would be difficult without medical intervention and aid, so I guess I just assumed it wouldn’t happen…

Hehe lol it did🫣. Wasn’t a big thing. There was no super obvious symptoms. I was already fatigued, maybe a bit worse but I put that down to me being half way through my first year of A levels. I don’t think I had any food cravings? Had a few food aversions, but I can go through phases of being a picky eater, so nothing stood out there. Didn’t vomit much, had a couple days where I’d eat something that wouldn’t sit well and would come back up, but never often enough for me to catch on and think something was wrong. Have always had super irregular periods, so missing 2 months didn’t stand out to me. The only thing that baffled me a little, was my sudden hatred for the smell of a hand soap we had at the time downstairs in the kitchen. I’d previously quite liked the smell (I believe it was like… eucalyptus and cucumber? Or something like that) but I suddenly started HATING it. Like not just turning my nose up at it, but straight up gagging if I caught a whiff of it. And my mum had told me that she had something similar when she was pregnant with me and she had a few things that she could no longer stand the smell of.

So as a joke I mentioned it to my friends, and one of my friends had a missed period so she was like “let’s do a pregnancy test together!” And it was supposed to be silly and funny… until my one came back positive🤣then we all were like “😧”. Cue the usual panicking and my friends assuring me “it’s gonna be okay! We’re here for you! You’re gonna be a great mum! Think of how cute it’ll be all dressed in baby clothes!” And I’m stood there like “…uh, this is all super sweet you all being so supportive. But this is getting ejected from my body at the earliest possible opportunity😃”.

So I spend the next 5 days trying to figure out how to tell my mum, and I plan to tell her maybe a week into March, because February is the birthday month (both of my older sisters, my step sister and my mum) and I didn’t wanna add more stress. Didn’t end up getting a week into March… because on the first of March I had super bad cramping and had really heavy bleeding and (this is a bit gross) it was like… there was more tissue than I would have on a usual period, and the cramps felt different? Deeper in a way? It’s hard to explain. But they were like… mild contractions so🫣🤷. I realise im miscarrying and im like “well shit… gotta tell mum now🙄” so I call her into the bathroom with me and I tell her I was/am pregnant but that it’s currently being ejected from my body. She says I’m a silly bugger and is hella confused about how because I was an out and proud lesbian already and I’m like “🤷”. She asks all the usual questions (was it consensual? When did you find out? Should I call the doctors?) and then we just sit there.

This is the only bit that’s at all emotional for me. But after about an hour? I ask her to leave me be for a bit. Because it kind of hit me all at once that I was pregnant and I’d just lost it? And I didn’t want it at all. I was too young and I knew kids weren’t for me. But it’s still emotional? It’s hard to explain. So i cry. A lot. From emotions and the unrelenting cramps that made my legs shake. And for the next 2 hours I stay on the toilet and I cry as I pass everything (tissue and things). But after about 3 hours cramping basically stopped, and I wasn’t passing anymore clots or anything.

I bleed quite heavily for about a week and a bit afterwards, but it was basically just like a period at that point. And that’s about it. Telling my friends that they wouldn’t be aunties and uncles was weirdly difficult. I cried some more then too I think. I felt weirdly guilty about losing it? Like they had been in the group chat making all these plans and baby names (literally during my miscarriage I was reading their messages😃). And even in person they’d be touching my belly and talking about how excited they were. So I felt in a way I was letting them down. Uh I spoke to a councillor at college about it for a few weeks. But then after about a month it all faded into the background and was forgotten. And now I barely think about it! And I guess barely mention it!

Anyway! Sorry for the randomness of this! I just started ranting about it and realised it felt nice talking about it to the internet, where I won’t have to deal with seeing the physical reactions of people finding out about it, and it spiralled. Sorry if it got too graphic. I tried to keep it vague.

Moral of the story: Miscarriages are scary, even when the baby isn’t wanted. And also, I overshare way too much on the internet.

Note: I intentionally made this sound nonchalant. Please don’t go thinking miscarriages aren’t traumatic experiences🤦mine wasn’t super traumatic and it doesn’t cause me much trouble now, but it was incredibly unpleasant. I’m sure most people who have miscarriages are far more affected by it than I am. I was just already mostly in acceptance that I’d be getting rid of the baby anyway. Just because I made it sound mild, doesn’t mean it wasn’t painful. Physically it was painful and draining, emotionally it was draining. So yeah. Keep that in mind!

#tw miscarriage #hey look! #another vent #vent post #this felt weirdly good to get off my chest #cathartic? #I dunno if that’s the right word #but it feels good #anyway! #I’m gonna head to bed now #nunight! #who threw the tennis ball!?!🎾

[monster-noises]

bleeeghgehgh I can't get into my singing voice and I don't know why and it's bumming me ooooout where did my vooooice gooooo

#monster noises #it's become a really gender-affirming thing for me cause I found my lower voice #and have been working on making it really Roll and be Deep and Full #and I have no idea if I'm Achieving any of that #but it Feels good #and I can't.. find the feeling and it suuuuucks

[eddiesghxst]

the 2 minute eye rub after taking out your contacts is crucial

#yes it’s bad for ur eyes i know #but it feels GOOD #rachie speaks

[unabashednightmarepizza]

So I’m not really sure if you’ll ever see this but I have to say it anyway.

TikTok finally discovered Baldwin IV and let me tell you the simps are all over the place (I mean masked men>)

So my simping @ss did some research and stumbled upon your KoH fanfic in Ao3 and first of all let me tell you it. Is. Amazing.

I really hope you continue it one day

Also I just started reading your dream fics and pls bless my eyes more

Thanks again for your beautiful writing

After having a brief argument with my dad, and trying to study maths with stinging eyes, that anon really blessed me. Thank you for being here and loving my works.

To be honest, I have been watching some Baldwin edits to get me in the mood for writing for him again and guess what? It worked!

I've started writing for Simoom again and I'll also write more Dream fics as well (As soon as I finish Home to You...)

And here is a little spoiler for Home to You...

The end may not be the true end...

#morpheus x reader #morpheus imagines #hob gadling imagine #hob gadling x reader #sandman x reader #sandman imagines #hana.answers #king baldwin iv #king baldwin imagine #historical au #seriously I don't understand how people actually love something I do #I normally can't satisfy anuone #especially my parents #but it feels good

[f1uckinghell]

.

#i am writing so fucking slowly atm #but it feels good #and i am writing #and thats enough i guess #personal

[rainbowvamp]

I think I just plotted a whole novel. In two days. Don’t ask if I’m okay because I’m not sure. It’s rough and needs a lot of work, but I did it…

#lorelei writes a novel #this is a different novel from the last one #I might not ever write it #but it feels good

[dirhwangdaseul-archived]

how do y'all even experience this blog do i even seem like a person the way i just jump around everything......

#i keep thinking of eeaao but it always leads somewhere else and then back is kinda making me tick faster but more orderly than other weeks #idk what's happening anymore #el suco posts #but it feels good #oh just thought of psiots and harada that chaos is similar that dude is all about owning it in the face of bigger things

[rosiehunterwolf]

So after taking quite a long break from my piano books (due to taking like, 2 months off to focus solely on my recital piece and then after the recital to just not practice at all because I’ve been busy, on vacation, or just plain lazy lol) I’ve finally returned to the pieces I left off on. Now normally a two month break would be a huge set back, but as I went back to one of the pieces, my muscle memory came into clutch and after playing it only like twice it’s actually in really good shape and I just need to polish it up a bit. It’s not a particularly hard piece or anything, but just a nice surprise since my muscle memory usually screws me over in these types of situations

#it’s good because I haven’t practiced and my lessons on Wednesday oops #i honestly enjoy practicing (most of the time) but when you take a long break like this it’s REALLY hard to get back into it #not all my pieces are in that good of shape #and there’s also a new one I have to learn like really quickly #but it feels good #i mean i do remember working really hard on this piece because the second page has some tricky jumps that really challenged me for awhile #and it’s nice to know those stuck even after all this time #lol watch my muscle memory completely ditch me tomorrow and I’ll be shit at it #rosie rants #piano

[liu-anhuaming]

i think the best compliment i’ve received to date is when my high school friend told me i’m a bitch in all the right ways

#still don't know what exactly it means #but it feels good

[afeelgoodblog]

#wholesome #blessed #feel good

[antlerlad]

happy tdov my loves. don't let anyone else define your transness for you.

help trans women evacuate gaza

#tdov #trans day of visibility #tdov 2024 #comic #nonbinary #i havent done a little comic in a while. feels good

[dirtytransmasc]

the men and boys are innocent too.

we cry "the innocent women and children" to appeal to the masses, to try and force their sympathy, but the men and boys are innocent too.

I have seen sons crying out for their mothers, their fathers, their siblings. I have seen them break down at the loss of their families. I have seen them cling to their dead and grieve.

I have seen fathers cradle their dead children, seen them kiss their faces and hold their little hands. I have seen them faint with grief when asked to identify the dead. I have seen them carry their sons and daughters. I have seen them fasting to provide what little they can for their families.

I have seen men and boys digging through the rubble with just their bare hands, I have seen them comforting strangers, playing with children, rocking them, hushing them, even if the face of such imminent danger. I have seen them cry, seen them grieve, seen them break down into each other's arms, seen them be selfless, beyond selfless, becoming something I don't have a word for.

I have seen the men who are doctors refuse to leave their patients, even when they have no medicine or supplies to give them, even when they're threatened with bombings. I have seen fathers who have lost all their children pick orphans up into their arms and proclaim them their child so they are not alone. I have seen men and boys digging pets out of the rubble.

the men are innocent too. the men and boys are being hurt and killed too. the men and boys are grieving too. the men and boys are scared too. the men and boys are fighting to save their people too. the men and boys deserve to be fought for too.

#I don't have words to describe how I feel for the men of Palestine #the things I have seen them do after everything they have been through goes so far beyond selfless #what do you call this? this prevailing goodness and willingness to give everything they have and more? what word even touches it? #I don't think there is one #islamophobia has conditioned us to see these men and boys as evil and dangerous #we see this in how we speak about Palestine #and we need to uncondition ourselves #they're just as innocent and of value and good as the women and children #so fight for them #they don't deserve this any more than the women and children #free palestine #palestine