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#but it hit me for the first time in a while that november is *november* and near the end of it
pop-punklouis · 2 years
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odinsblog · 29 days
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“I first started noticing the journalists dying on Instagram. I'm a journalist, I'm Arab, and I've reported on war. A big part of my community is other Arab journalists who do the same thing.
And when someone dies, news travels fast. Recently, I pulled up the list that the Committee to Protect Journalists has been keeping and looked at it for the first time. There are 95 journalists and media workers on it as of today.
Almost everyone on it is Palestinian. Scrolling through, I started to get angry. These were the people carrying the burden of documenting this whole war.
Israel is not allowing foreign journalists into Gaza, except on rare occasions with military escorts. These people's names are being buried in a giant list that keeps growing. What I want to do is lift some of them off the list for a moment and give you a glimpse of who they were and the work they made.
I'll start with Sadi Mansour. Sadi was the director of Al-Quds News Network, and he posted a 22-second video on November 18. That was a report from the war, but it also gave me a picture into his marriage.
Sadi's wearing his press vest and looks exhausted. He's explaining that cell service and the Internet keep getting cut off, and it's often impossible to text or call anyone, including his wife. So they've resorted to using handwritten letters to communicate while he's out reporting, sending them back and forth with neighbors or colleagues.
He ends the video with a picture of one of these letters from his wife. In it, she writes,
‘Me and the kids stayed up waiting for you until the morning, and you didn't come home. We were really sad.
I kept telling the kids, Look, he's coming. But you didn't show up. May God forgive you.
Come home tomorrow and eat with us. Do you want me to make you kebab or maybe kapse? Bring your friends with you, it's okay.
And give Azeez the battery to charge. What do you think about me sending you handwritten letters with messenger pigeons from now on? Ha ha ha.
I'm just kidding. I want to curse at you, but we're living in a war. Too bad.
Okay, I love you. Bye.’
A few hours after he shared that letter, Sadie and his co-worker Hassouna Saleem were at Sadie's home, when they were killed by an Israeli air strike that hit his house.
His wife and kids, who weren't there, survived.
Gaza is tiny, and the journalist community is really close. Reading the list, you can see all the connections between people. Like with Brahim Lafi.
Brahim was a photojournalist, one of the first journalists to die. He was killed while reporting on October 7. He was just 21, still new to journalism.
On his Instagram, you can see that in his posts just a few years ago, he was still practicing his photography, taking pictures of coffee cups and flowers. Then he started doing beautiful portraits and action shots. You can really feel him starting to become a journalist.
Clicking around on Instagram, I found a tribute post about Brahim from his co-worker Rushdie Sarraj. In this photo, Brahim staring intently at the back of a camera, his face lit up by the light from the viewfinder. He looks so young.
The caption reads, My assistant is gone. Brahim is gone. Rushdie himself was a beloved journalist and filmmaker.
And I know that because he's also on the list. He was killed just two weeks after Brahim. I read the tribute post to him too.
I saw this over and over again. Journalists posting tributes, who were then killed themselves soon after. And a tribute goes up for them.
And then the pattern continues.
Thank you.
Something else I saw over and over on the list, journalists later in the war who had become aware that they could be making their last reports. They'd say it at the beginning of their videos. And those were the hardest to watch, especially when it was true.
One video like that was posted by Ayat Hadduro. Ayat was a freelance journalist and video blogger. Her videos before the war covered a wide range from what I can tell, interviews about women in politics.
She even appeared in a commercial for ketchup-flavored chips. She clearly liked being in front of the camera. Once the war started, Ayat's pivoted to covering bombings and food shortages.
On November 20, she posted a video report from her home. You can hear the airstrikes hitting very close to where she is. It's scary.
‘This is likely my last video. Today, the occupation forces dropped phosphorus bombs on Beit Lahya area and frightening sound bombs. They dropped letters from the sky, ordering everyone to evacuate.
Everyone ran into the streets in the craziest way. No one knows where to go.
But everyone else has evacuated. They don't know where they're going. The situation is so scary.
What's happening is so tough, and may God have mercy on us.’
She was killed later that day.
Targeting journalists, in case you didn't know, is a war crime. So far, the Committee to Protect Journalists has found that three of the journalists on the list were explicitly targeted by the IDF, the Israeli military. Investigations by the Washington Post and Reuters, Human Rights Watch and the United Nations have also raised serious questions in these three cases.
And the Committee to Protect Journalists is investigating 10 other killings. When we reached out to the IDF for comments, they said, quote, the IDF has never, and will never, deliberately target journalists. That's the answer they always give in these situations.
Meanwhile, dozens of seasoned reporters have fled Gaza. Journalists who worked for Al Jazeera, the BBC, the New York Times, the Washington Post, Reuters, Agence France-Presse. So many media offices were demolished in Israeli airstrikes that the Committee to Protect Journalists stopped counting.
It's not just individual lives that have been destroyed. It's an entire infrastructure.
Thank you.
The name on the list that was hardest for me to look at was Issam Abdullah, because I'd crossed paths with him once. Issam was a Lebanese journalist, a video journalist for Reuters for many, many years. He had just won an award for coverage of Ukraine.
I'm Lebanese and still report there sometimes, and I'd worked with Issam a couple of summers ago. He helped me film a sort of random story in Beirut. I was interviewing this entrepreneur who had started a sperm freezing company after an accident where he spilled a tray of hot coffee on his private area, burning himself.
I know, ridiculous. It was a really silly shoot. Right after we said cut and started to rap, Issam started this whole bit about being in his late 30s, reconsidering his own sperm quality and everything he now realized he was doing to hurt it, and no one could stop laughing.
It was a really good day that felt good to remember and to remember him that way. Issam was killed by the IDF on October 13. His death was one of the three that the Committee to Protect Journalists has identified as a targeted killing.
He was fired upon by an Israeli tank while standing in an empty field on the Lebanon-Israel border with a small group of other journalists. Everyone was wearing press vests with cameras out. They were covering the Hezbollah part of this war.
A few other journalists were injured in the attack, which was captured on video. The IDF says they were responding to firing from Hezbollah, not targeting the journalists. But multiple investigations, including by Reuters, the United Nations, Amnesty International and the AFP, found no evidence of any firing from the location of the journalists before the IDF shot at them.
The journalists in the group and video footage confirmed that there was no military activity near them. I had only met Issam once, barely knew him, but it affected me so much when he died. I know that he understood the risks of his job, but somehow it still felt so random and unfair that he would be struck down like that, following the rules, wearing his press vest and helmet, and a pack of reporters on a sunny day in an open field.
I find myself thinking about him all the time. His last Instagram post was commemorating another journalist, this iconic reporter Shereen Abou Aql who had been killed by the IDF. When I first saw that post in October, I thought how ironic because a week later, Isam also was killed by the IDF.
But then, after spending time reading the list, I realized how common this had become. I still haven't finished going through the list and looking up the people on it. I keep finding things that stick with me, like the funny way this one radio host would cut off a caller who was rambling on for too long.
A tweet from reporter Al-Abdallah that quoted Sylvia Plath. It read, What ceremony of wars can patch the havoc? I'm going to keep going down the list, even though this story is over now.
Just for myself. My own way of bearing witness. Which is, in the end, all that these journalists were trying to do.”
—DANA BALLOUT, The 95. Dana sifts through a very long list—the list of journalists killed in the Israel-Hamas war, and comes back with five small fragments of the lives of the people on it. Dana is a Lebanese-American, Emmy-nominated documentary producer.
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Dead or Alive - You Spin Me Round (Like a Record) 1984
"You Spin Me Round (Like a Record)" is a song by the English pop band Dead or Alive, featured on their second studio album, Youthquake (1985). Released as a single in November 1984, it reached number 1 in the UK in March 1985, taking 17 weeks to get there. On the US Billboard Hot 100, it peaked at number 11, becoming their highest-charting single there. The song also reached number 1 in Ireland and in Canada, while in Australia it peaked at number 3, and it charted highly in numerous European countries.
According to lead vocalist Pete Burns, the record company was unenthusiastic about "You Spin Me Round" to such an extent that Burns had to take out a £2,500 loan to record it. After it was recorded, he recalled, "the record company said it was awful" and the band had to fund production of the song's video themselves.
A remix version of "You Spin Me Round" was released in 2003 at the same time Dead or Alive's greatest hits album Evolution: The Hits was released. The song reached number 23 in the UK Singles Chart. The original 1984 recording was re-released on 30 January 2006 because of Pete Burns's controversial time as a contestant on television series Celebrity Big Brother and reached number 5.
"You Spin Me Round (Like a Record)" received a total of 90,2% yes votes!
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pshaven · 6 months
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enhypen making YOU lose nnn ?
OUUUUHHHHH. this is good. i love this. ur mind needs to be studied
cw! fwb with heeseung, established relationship with jay and sunghoon, riding, oral (f & m receiving), doggy, reader gets called slutty girl, princess, jay brat tamer hehe, hoon is evil, lmk if i missed anything!
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이희승 heeseung ᥫ᭡
as you’re heeseung’s number one fuck buddy… well, he’s not very ecstatic about your decision to join the nnn challenge. he thought it’d be okay at first– he has other people to attend to while you’re busy. he actually discovered something new about himself thanks to your personal challenge: he can only go a few days without you. he really did try to distract himself with other hookups but they just aren’t you! no pussy felt like yours, and no one moaned his name the same like you do. so now he has his own personal challenge: to make you lose nnn! he thinks it’d be a piece of cake, really. because have you seen him? how can you resist him?
turns out pretty well, much to his dismay. he disguises his mission as an innocent “wanna watch some movies tonight?” to come over. you, in skimpy top and flimsy shorts that you typically like to wear when staying in. he thinks– knows– he’ll have a hard time keeping his hands to himself. and you’ve always been such a good girl, so you’ll obey him this time again, right? 
it starts off with just a hand on your thigh, and even though you give him a side eye he pretends he doesn’t notice, eyes too focused on whatever movie you decided to put on. he notices when your thighs tense each time his hand inches close to your clothed cunt, and it’s so slow– you guys have probably burned through two movies already but heeseung wants to take his time, see how long you can really resist him. 
you’re doing too well, and the space in his pants is beginning to tighten up the more you tense your thighs… he swears he can feel the heat radiate off your cunt, he knows you’re wet… you just have to be! by the third movie, he’s done playing around with you and grabs the remote out of your hand, “how ‘bout i give you something else to hold?”
“knew i could get you to cave- ah, shit!” heeseung cursed, hands on your waist as you bounce up and down on his cock. you whine, nails scratching his chest to leave marks that will definitely last for days. 
“i hate you!” you squeal at one particular thrust when he bucks his hips into you, the tip of his cock hitting your cervix. his eyes are focused on your entrance taking his length in, brows furrowed in concentration as he lets out a breathy chuckle. “heh, not enough or you wouldn’t be cumming on me right now.”
박종성 jay ᥫ᭡
he is such a good sport about it, honestly. he’s an amazing boyfriend, at that! he makes sure he avoids doing anything particularly sexy around you (but let’s be for real, anything he does is sexy). he encourages you and does his best to avoid any particular advances that you put on him during no nut november because he knows that once he reciprocates it, it’s over for you. so you do get a lot of no’s and don’t even think about it throughout the month… but he thinks you’ll thank him by the end of the month.
wrong. you’re extra bratty in particular today (november 27th), trying to tease him and tempt him when you rub your palm against his bulge during game night with the other members. he has a good poker face… for maybe ten minutes until he’s rock hard in his sweats underneath the blanket that you both are sharing. you’re stifling your giggles behind his back, occasionally popping in some commentary of the game so the members don’t get too suspicious on why you’re so quiet. 
old habits die hard, so how else is he supposed to act when you’re being bratty? 
“you only had three more days left, princess,” jay taunts in your ear, his hand on your back to bend you over the sink counter. you whine, but you shaking your ass tells him exactly what you wanted. “guess this slutty pussy just can’t live without me, huh?” 
you nod your head repeatedly, “mhm! can’t get enough- wan’ your cock now~” you moan when he slides down your bottoms, hand slapping your ass in the process. he’s a weak man for you, and honestly he’s been dying without your warmth around him for almost an entire month so he’s impatient as well.
jay reaches for your neck, lifting your head up towards him so that your back is arching. “could’ve just stayed a good girl and lasted the whole month,” he mutters into your shoulder as he slides himself in your tight entrance, both of you releasing a long sigh of relief.
심재윤 jake ᥫ᭡
okay… he definitely set himself up for failure when he proposed that you both do the nnn challenge together. he thought it would be soooo funny and easy! not even twenty four hours passed and he already regretted it, seeing you prance around in some cute shorts that leaves half your ass hanging out and a loose shirt that clearly shows your perky nipples. he really hates having a roommate that is as hot as you– maybe nnn wouldn’t be such a challenge then.
you’re determined to get your assignment done as you sit on the couch next to jake, typing away at your laptop while he merely scrolls through his phone, occasionally (every five seconds actually) staring at your tits through your t-shirt like he has x-ray vision. he clears his throat, mindlessly letting some random tiktok play as he begins to zone out, letting his mind think about him wrapping his lips around your pert nipples as he rubs you through your stupid excuse that you call a pair of shorts. 
“you’re hard.”  you comment after hearing the same tiktok play for over seven times. “it’s like you want to lose no nut november?” you tease before shifting your attention back to your laptop. jake clears his throat again, shifting in his seat when your words snap him out of his daze. “want to help me lose?”
“slutty girl- ah fuck- can’t say no to some dick, yeah?” jake muses as you choke down on his cock, saliva dripping out from the corner of your lips. you moan around him, your hand around his length tightening a bit at his words that causes him to curse underneath his breath. 
you go particularly deep, a small reward for him when his fingers inside you speed up. he has you on all fours on the couch, his long arm reaching your cunt as he scissors his fingers inside of you. if he’s going to lose, he’ll lose with you. “f-fuck, you’re so good ‘n so wet for me, huh?” he taunts, your juices squelching from his fingers and sloppy mouth working on his cock.
“oh, you cummin’ already? roomie… didn’t know you were this sensitive. so cute,” he hums, slowing his fingers down as he works you through your orgasm. but he’s talking as if he isn’t five seconds away from cumming down your throat.
박성훈 sunghoon ᥫ᭡
he thinks it’s cute you want to do the nnn challenge! but he also thinks it’s cute that you think you can resist him for an entire month. the exact opposite of jay– he makes it his personal mission to make you lose. he’s such a bad boyfriend, making you exceptionally horny, especially the first night after you tell him about your little goal to accomplish this challenge. he’s playing with you in bed, the hands on your waist not so discreetly creeping up to your chest. you have to physically detach his hands away from you so you don’t start acting up. 
the next morning is even worse– he’s stepping out of the shower and into your shared bedroom with only a towel that is barely hanging on his waistline. your mouth goes dry, your attention completely stolen away from your phone and onto sunghoon. “you sick bastard,” you curse under your breath, but it doesn’t go unheard by your sneaky boyfriend. “you could just… i dunno, lose right now,” he mumbles, going over to you as he nuzzles your neck. you’re doing much better than he thought when you push him away with a stern and determined look on your face. 
but in the end, he’s always right. and you give in like a child who’s offered some more playtime if they complete their homework. but he really didn’t expect you to give in when he’s doing something so basic, cooking dinner for you when you come back late from uni or work. but it gives him an ego boost either way. 
“can’t believe you got turned on from me cooking,” he snickers as he lifts his head up from in between your thighs. you roll your eyes, your grip on his hair tightening as you pull him back into your cunt. “i-it was the domestic-ness of it, okay? just shut up and make me lose already,” you pout. 
he groans, sliding his fingers inside of you with ease, thanks to his own work. “you already did… approximately one minute ago. but i guess i can make you lose twice,” he grins before he latches his mouth onto your sensitive bud.
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anantaru · 1 year
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𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘 𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓 𝐃𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐍𝐍𝐍
୨୧ how long they last during no nut november feat. childe : ayato : kazuha : cyno : kaveh : diluc : al-haitham : scaramouche x fem! reader
୨୧ WARNINGS: nsfw
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𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐒𝐓
𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐃𝐄
the first time you suggested to him to participate in it, childe blatantly refused, he was very much aware that there wasn't a chance for him to win in the slightest. Yet after giving it some thoughts he decided to give it a try, he's never running away from a fight and this in particular, was a fight on its own. It wasn't until the first day hit him, when he saw you. You had just woken up, the sleep still visible in your eyes as you greeted him lovingly.
who thought it was a good idea for him to sleep next to you? not to mention that you were wearing nothing more than your underwear, those tiny panties hugging your figure perfectly. "what is it?", you murmured softly towards his direction, a small smirk prancing over the corners of your lips. "fuck it." ajax was sexual excited in an instant, even though his brain told him to back off he just couldn't as he walked towards you, wrapping his arms around your body before kissing you starvingly.
he didn't waste any time to slide his cold fingers past the elastic of your panties, dragging his digits over your folds. You gasped out, questioning the man in front of you if he perhaps forgot that he was actually planning to pull through that annoying little competition of yours, "this is torture, please don't make me do this again." he whined out in between kisses, his fingers working in tandem as you let out a breathy laugh, hugging him back into your embrace.
𝐀𝐘𝐀𝐓𝐎
ayato wasn't sure why you would possibly think he'd actually fail the little competition you had prepared for him. He was busy all day, barely able to see you during the day and surely at night time he'd be too tired for anything more than a few cuddles anyways. What for some reason, he did not take into his calculations, was the sudden rush of frustration prickling through his veins like an electric current, he was powerless against it, couldn't turn those feelings off either.
he slid under the soft blankets after showering, his muscles sore from being at work all day while his hair was slightly damp, sticking on his forehead. You waited for him, as always, his arm wrapping around your waist as he laid his head in the nook of your neck, taking in your scent. Ayato started to get nervous whenever you'd shift in the bed, you weren‘t facing him as you talked about the various things you did today with the plush of your ass brushing over his member.
he closed his eyes, cursing himself underneath his breath, trying to not give into the sensation that was building in his gut right now as he added more strength to the grip on your hips, fingernails digging into your soft skin. His stomach was tightening, blood rushing through his veins when you noticed something rather hard poke at your ass, "are you?" you questioned in a low tone, yet it was immediately noticeable how hilarious you found the situation. Ayato groaned as a response before humming into your neck, the vibration traveling from your ear to your body, leaving a soft trail of kisses before sinking his teeth down, "i don't think i can do this all month."
𝐊𝐀𝐙𝐔𝐇𝐀
kazuha's love language was always physical touch, it didn't necessarily had to be sexual, most of the times it was him holding your hand in his or simply lazily looping his arm around your shoulder to keep you close. Of course, he figured, it wouldn't be a problem for him to still do those things, but damn, you made it so incredibly difficult. Your eyes wandered over his face, a light curve in your lips as you shuffled in your seat to sit more comfortably.
his thoughts were scattering to sinful desires upon seeing your dress slightly draped up your hips, exposing just a bit of your panties to him. Kazuha swallowed thickly, his heart thumping in his chest as you noticed the way he'd nervously chew on his cheeks, face flushed a faint layer of redness. "oh, sorry." you giggled, pulling down your dress as he took another deep breath before reaching his hand over to you. The expression on your face was confused, tilting your head a little before standing up regardless, walking towards him to take his hand in yours.
your chest heaved as he abruptly, drew you on his lap, caging you in with his hands. "you did that on purpose." he whispered, low and heavy as you shook your head, yet your smile made it more than obvious that you were not saying the whole truth. Your eyes widened as kazuha bucked his hand under your dress, cupping your heat, "i thought we said we'd never lie to each other?" his chuckle formed into a purr, voice breathier than you knew it, his fingers scraping over the spongy flesh to stimulate you, "even if i lost, i count it as a victory."
𝐅𝐀𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐃 𝐇𝐀𝐋𝐅𝐖𝐀𝐘 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇
𝐂𝐘𝐍𝐎
"i was so close." cyno muttered, his warm breath hovering over your wet core before your muscles tensed, digging your heels into the bed to slightly lift your hips up to him. Your body jolted forward into his mouth, cyno was devouring you, flicking his tongue over your folds to finally taste you again. It has barely been two weeks, yet it was so incredibly stressful, his body getting off from merely your voice, all form of self control turned into nothing.
"you did a good job." you chuckled, biting and chewing on your lower lip to muffle a moan as he continued to map it out, leaving nothing unturned with his tongue. you could sense a little sting of his sharp teeth grazing over the pulsating flesh, his brows furrowing in concentration when he circled his arms around your hips to have a tight grip on you. Cyno truly couldn't take his eyes off you, your folds glistering as he began to suck on them, humming in pleasure when his spit melted with your essence.
sweat was beautifying your skin, your mouth hanging open with every moan falling to deaf ears. Cyno fluttered his eyes open to look at the sinful expression on your face, his cock throbbing in his pants, waiting to be finally freed by you. It was painful to him, the last time he actually had an orgasm was weeks ago, involuntarily humping the mattress underneath him as every nerve in him felt like on fire, catching his breath before grinding his tongue into your cunt again.
𝐊𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐇
"fuck." kaveh cursed out in between making out with you, "i was so close baby, i really was." he complained, digging his fingernails into your hips while rutting himself into your heat. "but it got so unbearable, you don't even know half of it." you couldn't help it but laugh at his words, he was so overdramatic, wrapping your arms around his neck before slightly repositioning your hips. You bended your knees a bit more so he could reach further into you, your legs spread open.
kaveh sank into your hole, his cock twitching against your walls when he dropped his hips into your warmth. "that's so much better, don't you think?" he questioned with the answer clearly displayed on your expression that showed nothing but pleasure. You sighed out, lowering your eyes as you watched him through your lashes, his pace becoming even with shallow breaths tickling your neck.
kaveh felt how you clenched down around his girth, how you whined at every thrust forward as he looked in between your bodies, quickly licking his thumb before placing it on your clit to swipe it over the sensitive nerves. Your body jolted forward, tossing your head into the pillow as you cried out his name in fast chants, your legs shivering around his body. Your noises turned into cries, melting and unraveling underneath him as his grip on you tightened, not giving a single fuck anymore that he lost the small competition between the both of you.
𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐒𝐓
𝐃𝐈𝐋𝐔𝐂
by the end of the month, you're going to be a whiny little mess while diluc will simply sit next to you, bright smile, with a triumphal expression painted on his face. If he's determined to do something, he will push through it until its done, there was no losing in his eyes, only victory to be claimed. Contrary to popular belief, your boyfriend had a sense of humor, even though he didn't show it often he wouldn't pass on an opportunity to joke about it to you in a lighthearted manner.
he had you spread on the bed by the end, his breath hot on your shoulder as he licked all the way down to your collarbone, biting down. "how did i do?" he asked cheekily, flashing you his canine teeth with a smile, your lips pouting as you whined out, the words dying in your throat. Diluc hummed, moving closer to your ear while spreading your legs so he'd rest in between them.
"i'll give you what you want now." he promised, rolling the words off slowly as he slid himself in, your cunt sweet and tight taking him all in. You arched your spine into his body, tossing your head to the side when you moaned his name prettily. You weren't able to understand how diluc seemed to have gotten through this month without a slip up, his determination was otherworldly as he decided for a slow but deep pace, your mind empty as your body grew hotter, warmer with a prickling sensation dashing through your veins.
𝐀𝐋-𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐌
"you did so well." you cooed into al-haitham's ear, pecking his rosy cheeks before kissing his lips, muffling the tiny groans that escaped his throat. Your hand caressed his soft, pale skin, trailing your fingers over the aching muscles of his chest all the way down to his stomach. Al-haitham slid his hand into his hair to smooth it back, watching you work on his belt to free his cock from its restraints.
his eyes met yours in full force, "i told you I'd pull through." he proudly stated his victory, before his breath hitched, getting stuck in his throat. your hand was wrapped around his shaft, his pants pulled down to his knees as you didn't bother to fully getting rid of them. You spoke in low whispers, sweet chants only for him to hear as you circled your wrist around his shaft, fisting his stiff cock.
playful rubbing turned into skilled stroking, his hips bucking into your hand each and every time. "fuck, i missed that." he admitted bluntly without a care in the world, the curve in his lips evident as his breath came out in fastened spurts with a sigh of relief accompanying them. The sweet tenderness of your hold on him was to die for, his muscles turning tense as he moaned out, gasping frantically as he came, the warm white ropes of cum running down your knuckles. His his hips stuttered, continuing to buck into you when convulsed in great pleasure.
𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐌𝐎𝐔𝐂𝐇𝐄
there's no way in hell he would've ever lost, not in a million years, scaramouche was pulling through that rough month with a determination you've never seen before. "you didn't think I'd actually win, admit it." his smirk was wide, his voice hoarse with a sprinkle of lust in it. He was watching your every move, a wry smile on his face with an amused twinkle in his eyes, the way you squirmed underneath him was making him lick his lips in anticipation.
"don't worry, i won't tease you tonight." your face was clouded in confused upon hearing him speak his words, not buying it, "i can be nice too, you know." scaramouche spread his fingers to brush them over your belly, feeling your skin underneath his pads. His eyelids fluttered low before pressing himself on top of you with one of his hands right above your head— so you wouldn't hit your head on the headboard. You bent your knees, spreading your legs wider so he'd be able to thrust his hips better into you, his tip already prodding on your little hole.
the stretch was painful at first, you missed that feeling and so did he, truth was, scaramouche simply couldn't tease you tonight, it had nothing to do with him being nice for once. He was more than riled up, frustrated and annoyed with the burn that would always occur in his legs and never fade away. Scaramouche placed his lower lips in between his teeth, his brows furrowing in concentration as he slid himself in until fully sheathed, splitting your cunt open and fuck, he dreamed about this every day, the overbearing sensitivity only adding into his play.
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do not! share, copy or repost my work. ✎ ©ANANTARU 2022
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babydollmarauders · 2 months
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THE START OF IT ALL — JACK HUGHES
part of the el!hughes au
summary: how jack and y/n (lovie) met, through the grace of quinn
warnings: bad parental guidance, small mention of body insecurities and anxiety. (4k words)
notes: a well overdue fic! i’m so thankful to you guys for being patient with me as i navigate writing in my hectic new reality of college and working full time! <3
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goosebumps trail my exposed skin, the chilling air of the practice rink nipping from my lack of sweater.
the sound of skates scraping against the ice rings in my ears, mingling with the bangs of sticks hitting against pucks and creating an oddly peaceful soundtrack for my meditation.
my feet are killing me.
capezio tights stretch across my legs, making them shimmer in the fluorescent lighting of the rink, and a black leotard hugs my body, neatly pulled together with a pink wrap skirt. ballet flats adorn my feet, my pointe shoes laying idly in my dance bag in the seat beside me as i watch the national development team practice.
it feels like so long ago that i came and watched my first practice; the one fateful day of september seeming light years away now. but in reality it was only a mere couple months ago that a group of us dance girls had decided to walk down the block and watch a practice.
Natalie and Thalia wanted to check out the guys, and me? i just didn’t want to be left out. but then watching one practice turned into watching two, and then three, and before i knew it, it became a regular occurrence. it didn’t matter anymore that the girls lost interest and no longer tagged along, in fact, i enjoyed the time spent alone.
this became my safe haven; no dance partners to critique my fouettés, no parents whispering in my ear that i’m not doing well enough in school or that i’m not practicing my dances enough or that i need to go on a diet because i don’t look as pristine or perfect in my leotard as the other girls do. just me and the sounds of several sixteen year old boys whipping pucks into the net and gliding around the ice.
as the piercing sound of a whistle slices through my peace, i know that afternoon practice has ended, my serene escape over until tomorrow.
as the team shuffles off the ice and back into their locker room, i revel in the silence for a little while, taking the moment to change from my flats to sneakers; the twenty-seven minute trek home will be a lot more terrain than the five minute one from the ballet studio to the rink, and a lot harder on my shoes.
pushing up from my seat, my hand wraps around the strap of my dance bag, slinging it over my shoulder as i slide through the rows of seats. my feet squeak against the cement steps, two at a time until i reach the exit floor.
pushing through the glass doors, i slip out into the crisp November air, ducking my head as i walk past a group of players that stand around their cars after practice, hair damp from post-practice showers. a few more players can be heard slamming the doors of their cars, obviously in much more of a rush to get home than their teammates.
it only takes five minutes of walking for me to become paranoid, a black GMC following behind me with every turn i make. my heart stutters with anxiety, my pace speeding as i attempt to shake the fear that rakes my body.
but as i speed up, so does the car, until finally the drivers window rolls down as they drive at a pace similar to my walking speed. inside is a teenage boy, a familiar face that i know i’ve seen on the ice of the usntdp rink.
“hey, you watch our practices.” it’s a statement, he knows i do, i assume a lot of them know. it’s kind of hard to miss the thirteen year old girl sitting alone in the stands every afternoon.
i stop, turning towards the boy as i nod in response.
“i always see you walking home, do you want a ride?” he asks before his eyes widen, stumbling over words, “wait, i just realized how that sounds— i’m not trying to kidnap you, i swear! you just live a few houses down, i figured i’d save you some time.”
i’m aware that my answer might be stupid and not very well thought out, but in this moment, i truthfully don’t care— the boy seems trustworthy, an odd sense of warmth radiating from him, so i nod again.
“yes, please.”
his head nods in the direction of the passengers side, unlocking the doors as he tells me to hop in; and i do so, slipping into the seat and hastily pulling the seatbelt across my body.
“i’m Quinn,” he introduces, a hand held out in front of me, “i play for the national development team.”
“i know,” i hum out, shaking his hand, “i’m y/n.”
Quinn steps lightly on the gas pedal, continuing the route to our apparently shared street.
“so, why do you come to the practices?” he questions, and though the question itself sounds a little judgy, his tone is soft, “at first i assumed maybe you were a sister, but then i’ve never seen you with any of the guys.”
i watch as the trees pass by in a blur through the window, my hands fidgeting with the strap of my dance bag that sits on the floor between my feet.
“it’s peaceful.” i confess, making him throw me a lopsided smirk mixed in with furrowed brows, “i don’t really get along with any of the girls in my ballet class, and my parents don’t get home from work until dinner time. its nice to just kill some time and listen to the sounds of the skates on the ice and the pucks hitting the net.”
Quinn hums as though he understands me, and for once, it actually feels like someone does. we’ve barely spoken to each other, we’ve only just met, but for once in my life, i feel as though someone isn’t judging me or about to tell me what i could do better.
“i get it.” he shrugs, “so, have you been a hockey fan, or are you just a little oddball and like the sounds?”
a small smile spreads across my lips, a laugh escaping at his joke, and Quinn garners an appearance of pride at making me laugh. his chest puffs out just slightly, his posture straightening and a smirk resting on his lips.
“i am,” i nod, before i realize i should clarify, “a hockey fan. i’m a hockey fan.”
it’s Quinn’s turn to chuckle now, eyes flickering towards me before they settle back on the road ahead, “but i get the feeling you are a little oddball, aren’t you? or at least maybe some other people think so.”
the vibe in the car turns stony, my body tensing.
“yeah,” i drop my eyes to my hands, finding great interest in the dirtied white color of my bag strap, “i prefer to keep to myself, you know? it feels like all everyone tells me is how i can do better. how i can perfect my dances, or how i’m so pretty but i would be so much prettier if i did this or that, or how despite straight A’s and a 4.0 GPA, there’s more i could do to get into a stupid ivy league that i don’t wanna go to-”
i suck in a deep breath, cutting off my rambles prematurely, because here i was dumping all my insecurities and problems on a boy three years my senior and who i’ve only just met.
“i’m sorry, those are some shitty people.” Quinn frowns, a hand tightening just slightly around the steering wheel.
“that was all my parents.”
“fuck,” he curses, glancing over at me quickly with wide eyes as we turn onto our street, “your parents said all that?”
i shrug, nodding my head, “it’s what a parent does, right? they criticize you to be the best you can be. the girls in dance aren’t much better.”
Quinn parks the car in front of what i assume is his billet house, turning in his seat to face me properly.
“a parent should guide you to be the best version of yourself, not criticize you until you become the person they want you to be.”
his words repeat in my head, my brows threading together as i hum in acknowledgment of his statement.
rather than truly respond, i unbuckle my seatbelt, pushing the door open as i gather my bag from the floor.
“thank you for the ride, Quinn. sorry for dumping all my problems on you.”
i don’t give him a chance to respond, hopping out of the car and slinging my bag over my shoulder as i shut the door.
i’m only one house away when i hear him yell, “hey! same time tomorrow?”
i spin around confused, finding him standing next to the car with his hockey bag slung over his own shoulder.
“what?”
“same time tomorrow! i’ll drive you home!” he smiles gently, before giving a small wave and heading into his house.
what the fuck just happened? did i just make a new friend?
***
my entire body aches, my toes in particular feeling incredibly sore due to the bruised skin that covers them, but i push through.
only a week until the spring performance and i still don’t feel that my solo is where it should be. my pointe shoes make my toes prick with pain, but over time, the pain turns into a stinging numbness.
my reflection stares back at me in the mirrored wall, a frustrated puff of air passing through my parted lips. my tutu caresses my arms as i let them fall to my sides, lowering back down to flat feet.
in the mostly empty building, i can hear the ring of the bell above the front entrance followed by muffled conversation approaching the private room i currently occupy.
i walk over to the chair that holds my things, my brows furrowing as i check the time. i still have five minutes until Quinn is due to pick me up. that gives me more than enough time to run through the solo once more.
walking over to the barre, i flex my feet a couple of times. but before i can begin to dance, i’m bombarded by the sound of conversation.
“what are we doing at a dance studio?” a male voice echoes through the building, grumbling in obvious annoyance.
“i told you, i have to pick up a friend.” i recognize that voice immediately; Quinn. my close friend of four months.
“a girlfriend?” i scrunch my nose at the other person’s question, part of me wanting to shout out that i can hear them.
“a girl that’s a friend, yeah. more like a little sister.” a heated blush rises to my cheeks, a smile spreading across my lips.
he thinks of me as a sister.
a knock sounds against the door of the private room before it creaks open, Quinn’s head popping in.
“hey, twinkle toes, you ready to go?” he smiles warmly, his eyes sparking with care as he eyes my outfit, “nice tutu.”
“you’ve seen this one before.” i giggle but it quickly dies off into a sigh as i think about how much work i still need to put into the dance, “give me one sec?”
“yeah, go for it.” he nods, “mind if i come in?”
“come on in.”
closing my eyes, i take a deep breath, tuning out the sounds of Quinn and his company entering the room. breathing out, i enter fifth position.
plié, passé relevé, back down to fifth position, my eyes open as i run through the rest of the dance, focusing on my core and watching myself in the mirror.
my sight flickers to Quinn, a smile on his face as he watches me dance, and for a moment i feel so proud of myself. but then my sights set on the boy beside him.
fluffy dirty blond hair mussed atop of his head, beauty marks dotting across his soft features, and beautiful blue eyes that watch my figure. he’s the prettiest boy i’ve ever seen.
i stutter in my steps, suddenly nervous and self conscious in front of the unfamiliar face, and before i can fix my form, i buckle under his stare; missing a step before my ankle twists, a sharp tinge of pain shooting up my leg as i stumble back down onto flat feet.
“shit.” i whimper, my facial features contorting in pain as i flex my ankle, gauging my pain level.
“are you okay?” Quinn stammers, eyes wide in concern, “what happened?”
“i’m fine,” i sigh. walking over to my bag, i pull my flats out and sit on the chair, beginning the process of taking off my pointe shoes, “i just got a little distracted.”
“distracted?” Quinn repeats, confusion plaguing his features before he looks back at his company, his lips quirking into a smirk, “y/n, this is my brother, Jack. Jack, this is y/n.”
my face heats under the heavy gaze of Jack’s blue eyes, his shoes tapping against the floor as he steps forward, extending a hand in front of me.
“hi.”
he smiles and it’s as though the whole world slowed, as though the universe was saying ‘look. look at him. perfection personified amidst your very eyes.’
“hi, it’s nice to meet you.” my hand slips into his, shaking lightly before i pull away, distracting myself by continuing my endeavors of changing my shoes.
Quinn and Jack share whispered huffs, mumbled words between the two of them as i slip my flats on, shoving my pointe shoes in my bag.
i stand now, removing my tutu and holding it carefully, leaving me in only my tights and leotard.
“i’m ready.” they both look over at me, Quinn nodding in acknowledgment before he turns and wordlessly begins walking out, leaving his brother and i to fall in line behind him.
“so how did you guys meet?” Jack asks me as we step out of the private room, his voice hushed.
“i go watch the development program practices a lot, Quinn saw me walking home and offered me a ride.”
“you like hockey?” he raises a brow as he looks over at me with a bright grin.
“mhm.” i hum, “i’ve watched it my whole life. my dad is a red wings fan.”
we exit the building, following Quinn to his car.
“good team.” Jack replies, his voice far off, eyes staring ahead as though deep in thought; and i assume that’s the end of our conversation until he speaks again, “i liked your dance. pretty.”
blood rushes to the apples of my cheeks and i bite my lip to hold back a smile, “thanks.”
i pull open the car door as Quinn unlocks it, climbing into the back seat so that Jack can sit up front with his brother. but i’m surprised when he joins me in the back, earning a look from Quinn.
it’s silent as Quinn starts the car, pulling out from the parking space and out of the lot.
“so,” Jack starts, gaining my attention once more, “you dance and you like hockey, what else should i know about you?”
i ponder the question for a moment before i look over at him, “there’s not much to tell. i’m an only child, i like taylor swift, i don’t know.”
“well what do you and your friends do for fun? do you wanna be a ballerina when you graduate?” he turns towards me, letting me know i have his full attention.
“i only have one friend.” i shrug, “Quinn. and he and i usually just hang out at his billet house or at the rink. he’s been teaching me to skate.
“as for the ballerina thing, i don’t think so. i love dancing, but i don’t want it to be my life.”
Jack hums, nodding his head in thought before his lips part again, “give me your phone.”
“what?”
“gimme your phone.” he makes a grabby hand, waiting for me to pull my phone out of my bag before i set it in his palm.
he turns it on, getting in easily with my lack of password, and quickly types something before handing it back.
“two.” he smirks.
“what?” my face punches in confusion.
“you have two friends now.” i look down at my phone, a new contact open with his number inputted in.
“okay.” i smile, not quite sure how to react to this gorgeous boy wanting to be my friend. it’s a new feeling that i’m not quite used to.
the car is silent as we pull onto Quinn and i’s street, but if i remember correctly, he’s staying at a hotel with his dad for the next couple of days.
“hey, twinkle toes.” Quinn calls out from the drivers seat.
“yeah?”
“you still coming to the game tomorrow?”
“i plan on it.” i tell him.
“alright, you’ll be sitting with my dad and Jack.” he informs me, “Jack, you good to wait for her at the entrance to take her to your guys’ seats?”
Quinn stops in front of my house, unlocking the doors.
“yeah, sure.” Jack confirms, watching as i exit the vehicle, “i’ll see you tomorrow.”
“see you tomorrow!” i smile. i shut the door, Quinn’s window rolling down as he calls out a goodbye, “bye, snuggles!”
i can hear Jack snort out a laugh as i walk away, a wheezed echo of “snuggles?!” coming from the back seat.
“shut it, Rowdy.” Quinn grumbles, rolling up his window before peeling away.
***
thirty minutes.
i spent thirty long minutes picking out my outfit for tonight. when i originally said i would go to Quinn’s game, i had just planned on wearing a USA Hockey sweatshirt and some leggings; but now that i’ve met Jack and know i’ll be with him? i refused to dress down so much.
descending the stairs of my house, my mother peers over the back of the couch, her hair in a tight bun and her laptop in her lap, slaving over a law case with files piled beside her.
“what are you so dressed up for?” she inquires, her glasses sitting low on the bridge of her nose.
“i have Quinn’s game tonight.” i walk around the couch to stand in front of her, my nikes shuffling along the area rug.
“i’m so proud of you.” she smiles, and for a moment i’m left to ponder where this could go, “you’re finally taking a care to how you present yourself.”
and there it is; the subtle jab. it can never be a real compliment, there’s always gonna be the underlying insult muddled in somewhere.
“are you going with friends?” she questions, her focus falling back on the open computer screen in her lap.
“kinda?” i’m not quite sure what to call Jack, he said we’re friends, but we also don’t actually know each other.
“kinda?” my mother echoes in wonder, looking back up at me as i wander into the kitchen to retrieve a water bottle.
“yeah. i met Quinn’s brother yesterday, the one a year older than me?” i start, “i’m sitting with him and their dad at the game. i don’t think i would call us friends really, but we exchanged numbers yesterday.”
my mother sighs, pushing her glasses atop of her head in order to pinch the bridge of her nose.
“does this boy play that brutal game too?”
my mind wanders back to what Quinn has told me about his family in the past, “yeah, they all do.”
“oh y/n, don’t get too wrapped up in these boys. they won’t do you any good.” she tells me, “find a nice boy, one who wants to do something substantial with his life.”
“we’re just friends, mom. it’s not like anything is gonna happen.”
“but you want it to.” she narrows her eyes, waving her finger towards me, “i can see it. mother’s intuition. don’t fall for this boy.”
who is she to tell me who i should fall for? she and dad barely even speak anymore. i wouldn’t even call what they have, love.
“it’s just going to a hockey game, mom. their dad is gonna be there too.” i sigh, “i gotta go.”
“how are you getting there?” she asks, “are they picking you up?”
“no,” i shake my head, “dad said he would drive me.”
her brows furrow, “your dad had to go into work.”
i gape at her, a blank look covering my face. i shouldn’t be shocked, this happens all the time. it’s the same reason i walk home from ballet, or why i’ve come to rely on Quinn to pick me up for school. but somehow, it still always feels like a cut to the heart.
my mother sighs, shutting her laptop and rising from her seat, “i’ll drive you. come on.”
“you would think he would try and spend more time with you. but it’s always work with that one. work then family.” she mutters, ranting to herself as she slips her shoes on, grabbing her keys from the dish on the entryway table.
i fall in line slowly behind her, dreading this car ride already; because it appears it’s one of those days. the days where my mother will do anything to appear better in my eyes than my father. including talking down about him to me in hopes to make me more upset with him than i already am.
and i was correct. the entire drive was spent with me sitting silently in the passengers seat, watching my surroundings pass by as she went on and on about all of the things my father has done wrong in the past week.
i couldn’t get out of the car quick enough, nearly breaking the car door off its hinges as i throw it open. calling out a goodbye to my mother and assuring her that yes, Quinn would be driving me home afterwards, i slam the door shut and jog towards the arena entrance.
slowing down upon the sight of the glass doors, my body lights up, butterflies flutter in my stomach as i spot Jack in the lobby just through the doors. he wears jeans and a gray hoodie, converse tied to his feet, and he looks down at his phone, glancing up every few moments.
when his eyes land on me through the clear glass, a friendly smile spreads across his lips, slipping his phone into his pocket and taking a few steps towards the door, propping it open for me.
“hey!” he chimes as i reach the entrance, “puck should drop soon! i was gonna text you to check in but, i didn’t wanna push anything.”
my heart rate picks up, my cheeks burning at the idea of seeing Jack’s name pop up on my phone, “you can text me any time.”
Jack’s smile drops into a smirk, his blue eyes sparkling with mischief and amusement, “i’ll keep that in mind.”
“our seats are this way.” Jack begins pushing through the lingering people in our way, many not paying any attention to the people in their way as they try and navigate towards their own seats.
for a second, i’m pushed away from him, worry flooding my mind as i think of how i’ll try and find our seats if i lose him. but then he looks back at me, his eyes finding mine, and he must see the anxiety that fills my body, because it’s not a moment later that his hand finds mine.
his hand slips into mine, interlacing our fingers as he gently tugs me closer to him as he walks, a reassuring quirk to his lips, “i got you. it’s okay.”
and somehow, all my worry melts away, just like that. for some reason, i feel like he’s telling the truth; it’ll be okay.
there’s something about Jack’s presence that calms my nerves. that makes me feel okay. and it sounds utterly insane because i’ve known him for all of twenty-four hours, but i feel like can truly trust him.
as we reach our seats, Jack sitting next to his dad with me beside him, he still never lets go of me. instead, he rests our hands on his thigh, glancing over at me to gauge my reaction before he speaks.
“you okay?”
and finally, for once, i’m telling the truth, “yeah.”
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tia-222 · 5 months
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Success Storyy
This is gonna be long one I hope you don't mind I will be leaving from here so maybe my journey could be a little motivation 😅
First of all Tia I really love you and @gorgeouslypink 😭, I've been on the this journey for a very long time since I was like 16,I'm currently 19.
My Journey
After my father's death in 2018,we hit poverty real bad,and I wanted to be there for my mother but all she cared about was her restaurant and my brothers. My father before dying had already named the will under my name when because he wanted my brothers to earn something on their own. But I was allowed to use to use the money when I turn 18. I wanted to get out of the small apartment as soon as possible I found Law of attraction and as we know it was useless for 2 years I wasted my time in law of attraction then on 2020 I found Law of Assumption the best thing honestly.
My LOAssumption journey start during the pandemic,when everything shut down and my mom's restaurant closed. My living condition wasn't the best even before the restaurant was opened,we would earn $90 - $100 dollars a week sometimes even less but it wasn't enough for us because my mother have to give half of it to 3 of the workers,pay our electric and water bill,our rented apartment and my elder and younger brother's college and school fee.
I was the only one studying in a community high school from 3 the of us,both my brothers were in were in private college and school,I didn't had the best relationship with my mother she have always prioritised my siblings because they were boys and never really cared about me both my brothers had their own rooms while I was asked to sleep in the living room's couch.
At that point life was bearable for me,I had even manifested a part time job and was thinking to move out. But it wasn't all easy for me when the lock down was announced I saw how my mother would worry about everything even if she didn't like me I still was the only one who worried about her condition but my brothers were brat and didn't really help for 20 year old my elder brother was too immature and i didn't liked him at all.
And as everyone was there at home 24/7 I start finding it hard to manifest because my circumstances were very unbearable and I couldn't stay in a state. Then is stumble upon Void state and all I knew is i overcomplicated it, I wasn't able to persist in one method,I would constantly change method it continued till this year and then I went back again to LOA for my rescue and then again it was hard for me to manifest big desires and then here I was back again to Void.
How and when did I enter
Since the last week of October I was again persistent to enter void I read every single post properly and was motivated to enter void from there I made a routine but guess what I failed again because of my lazy ass.
About 2 weeks agoi saw a success story by a blogger I forgot her user name but it was Vixen she basically entered through lucid dream and i realized that through out my void journey I never gave importance to lucid dreaming,so why not try become lucid.
My biggest problem was I couldn't choose what affirmations I should use and I was never confident about waking up in void like not at all.
So I just choose one askfirmation to affirm it all the time"Why do I lucid dream every night?".
Along with that I choose random subliminals.
https://youtu.be/Hg3pLT6-JWw?si=aRrLF-JkljuKrs3e
https://youtu.be/nHDLd94SKUI?si=3gN1-zsdW_ki0isV
And I also did psych-k 10 mins not specific time I would do it everytime I'm free.
And I did it only for 9 days. And on 17th of November I officially entered void and affirmed that I always enter void whenever I want.
On 18th of November I made a list of my desires and enter void again official manifested my dream life and I revised my father's death along with that I manifested a new biological mother and also new siblings.
(Don't come at me for changing my mother and siblings I have my own reasons)
I even shifting to my DR I was a in 1940's it was really amazing.
Honestly if I say I'm pretty much of a procrastinator and even doing this easy routine was kind of difficult for me but if you are a person who is consistent then you definitely will lucid dream within a week.
I will be leaving Tumblr forever btw. So farewell to my fellow shifters and manifesters. May you all succeed in manifesting your dream life as well and never give up easily Bye bye✨
Once again I luv you Tia and pink.
MY BEAUTIFUL ANON, OMG CONGRATULATIONS ♡
I am literally so happy for you, my love and your success story is so heartwarming. You've been through so much and wow your persistence really pushed through. Thank you so much for sharing your success story and how you got in. Enjoy your dream life to the fullest, angel, and enjoy your adventures to your drs. I love you so much more <33
@gorgeouslypink ‧₊⋅♡🪐
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katemartinismywife · 28 days
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senior night - p.b
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☺︎ paige bueckers x texas women's basketball player ☺︎ ☺︎ fluff ☺︎
"So you actually aren't coming?" Ryan asked her long term girlfriend Paige. "I can't make it mama, i'm so sorry" Paige was grateful that the two weren't on facetime. She was trying so hard to not tell the truth. Paige wasn't the best at lying, but she really wanted to give Ryan this special gift.
Ryan and Paige have been dating for over a little of four years. The two met while they were both at Overtime headquarters. After their first time talking they were inseparable. They had agreed to make long distance work and hope that one day their lives would settle, so they could move in together and start their lives.
Since basketball season has started they have barely seen each other since they were on different schedules. The last time they saw each other was when Ryan flew to Storrs for their game against Maryland. But that was back in November, it is now February.
Ryan had missed her girlfriend so much. It was beginning to hit her hard. All she wanted was to see her especially on her big day. "Are you at least going to watch?" Ryan sighed walking into the locker room. "I'm going out with the team tonight, but if it is on somewhere you know I will" Paige spoke trying to not break her heart more.
"I love you" Before Paige could respond Ryan hung up the call. Paige knew she was upset, but really hoped that this would work. She hated when her baby was unhappy. Paige was currently on her flight to Texas texting Ryan's sister about how much she hated hurting her.
Of course Paige couldn't do this big surprise by herself, so she allowed for KK and Auzi to come with her. Ryan loved the two girls, so it would be great for her to see them too.
Ryan slipped on her bose headphones and changed into her warm ups. "Ryan you okay?" Jordana asked her. Jordana Codio was her best friend on the team. "I'm good" Ryan smiled, but it never reached her eyes.
jordana: pb you got my girl stressing lol
pb: i love her sm
jordana: i'm excited for y'all 😭
It was officially time for senior night to begin. Ryan met up in the tunnel with her mom and her sister. Ryan was an a very emotional person, so she immediatly began crying. "Stop crying crazy, nothing has happened yet" Her sister laughed giving her a hug"
"Ryan Andrews"
Ryan began walking wiping her tears off her face and smiling as the crowd cheered. Finally being able to clear her eyesight, what she didn't expect to see was her girlfriend standing beside her head coach.
She stopped in her tracks with her hand over her mouth. Paige laughed walking up to her giving her a tight hug as Ryan broke down into tears. The love stricken crowd began to "aw". "Stop crying mama" Paige spoke wiping Ryan's tears off her face. "I want to kiss you so bad right now" She spoke quietly releasing her from the hug and holding her hand.
Coach Schaefer walked over to Ryan hugging her and giving her the microphone. "This is so awkward. Um, I just want to thank Coach S and all the rest of my amazing coaches for helping me improve throughout these four years. I have loved playing for this team. A huge thank you goes out to my mom, sister, and paige for helping me through all of the mental and physical breakdowns. I love you guys so much and I am not a cute crier, so I'm going to stop talking now" Ryan laughed hugging her coach again.
The crowd busted out into cheers and claps. "I am so proud of you" Her mom told her wiping her tears. "Thank you mommy" Ryan walked off the court hand in hand with her girlfriend. "You made me cry meanie" Ryan smiled nudging her girlfriend. "I'm sorry baby, but I wanted to surprise you on your big day" Paige pulled the girl into a hug placing a kiss on her forehead.
"Go win" Paige told her smiling at her.
TEXAS LONGHORNS W, 71-46
Right after the last buzzer Ryan ran right over to her girlfriend engulfing her into a hug. Ryan wrapped her legs around Paige's waist and secretly kissed the side of her neck. "You did so good mama" Paige smiled rocking the two side to side.
"Don't leave! I'm going to go take a quick shower and then I'll meet you out here" Ryan jumped off of her. Looking around making sure the coast is clear. She threw her hands around her neck kissing Paige's soft lips. "I love you" Paige spoke between kisses rubbing her hands up and down Ryan's back.
"don't go anywhere okay?"
"i'm not going anywhere" Ryan walked off smiling and throwing her arm around Jordana's shoulder. Paige watched the now overjoyed girl skip off to the locker room.
She really did find her person.
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chuuyasheaven · 5 months
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I will give you real money to not have dazai saying bella or donna or belladonna . [makes out with you]
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♡ Everything for you, my love. ♡
Tags: Dazai Osamu / afab! Reader, birthday sex, pet names (darling, princess, pretty[girl]), praising, lingerie, soft but rough sex?, overstimulation?, pw/op (idk, maybe some plot?), ooc! Dazai?, fingering, orgasm denial (only once), slight teasing?, might contain grammar errors, a bit rushed?, might be short, etc.
Notes: Funfact! When i first started writing, i DESPISED using "belladonna" as a pet name !! But since I listen to my followers, I'll try not to use it this time to see if i stop at all. So, since my birthday was a week ago (17th November), I wanna write this !! Don't worry, there's DEFINITELY gonna be a Chuuya version !! :3
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"Are you done yet?", Dazai asked impatiently. "Yeah,", you responded shyly, walking out of the bathroom. Dazai's analyzed your whole body with the lingerie he brought for your birthday, smirking at you. "Look at how pretty you look, darling.", he exclaimed charmingly. "T–thanks, Dazai.", you quietly respond again. You walked closer towards him with flushed cheeks. "How about you give me a quick twirl, hm?", you nodded before spinning for him, showing your dark–red laced lingerie to him. After showing off, Dazai grabbed your hand and pulled you onto his lap. Landing on him with your hands on his chest, he looked at your surprised face before chuckling softly.
His hand made it's way to your chin, holding it gently before moving closer to your face. Being inches away from your face, he crashed his lips against yours, the kiss starting passionately until it turned into a make out session. You threw your arms around his neck, pulling yourself closer to his chest. Separating for air, he looked into your eyes while popping the question. "Do you want me to prepare you first?", you take a few seconds to think before nodding. Dazai's hand left your chin, sliding down your body until it reached your dark–red laced panties waistband. His fingers slid even further down, pushing your panties to the side to let his fingers slide inside you.
You whimpered quietly as two of his fingers entered your cunt. Dazai started to move them inside you, in ways he knew would make you melt. He knew what he was doing, hitting your sensitive spots multiple times. Into fingering you, the pleasure you felt had you get weaker, leaning onto him. "A–ah. . Dazai. .", you moaned quietly. Even though you couldn't see his face, you knew that he was smirking. You got closer as this went on, and Dazai could obviously tell by the way you clenched around his fingers. But before that— yes, you guessed it— he pulled his fingers out of you, leaving you to whine. "Don't worry, princess, you'll get to cum. In fact, lay down onto the bed for me, alright?", you got up while Dazai stood up himself.
"Would you look at that,", just laying down, you look at where his finger pointed, a stain from your slick on his pants. "My pants have to go anyways.", Dazai said before unbuckling his belt, looking at the beautiful sight in front of him. With his pants off, his boxers slid down his legs, lastly his shirt was removed. Dazai got closer to you by hovering over you, pressing a small kiss against your lips. "Ready?", he asked you waiting for an answer, you nodded again. "With words, princess,", ". . Yes, Dazai!", you responded. Dazai rubbed his dick a few times before going in slowly. You moaned while he went inside, Dazai himself started to groan at the feeling. "F–fuck, you're so. .,", Dazai choked on his own words when he was fully inside. "Tell me when to move, darling–", he barely finished his sentence before you interrupted him. "N–now, please!!", you tell him.
You didn't have to tell him twice, once you gave him permission, he moved. As Dazai thrusted into your desperate cunt, your arms were thrown over his neck again. Soon the room smelled like sex, skin clapping and moans being the sound being heard. "You're doing s–so good— fuck. . ,", you moaned again, the feeling overwhelming you slightly. Dazai got faster, wanting to chase both of your orgasms. "F–feels good. .", you were able to say, Dazai lifting your leg a little to hit deeper. "Yeah? Keep being such a good girl for me, alright, pretty?", soon enough, your climax was getting closer, your moans getting louder. "D–dazai, 'm close. .", you manage to tell him. "My pretty girl's close? You wanna cum, don't you?", he teased even though he knew you needed to cum. With this information, Dazai sped up his thrusts again. It only took a few more until you clenched and came around him. When you did, Dazai came into you with a grunt, not pulling out yet.
"—Another round, birthday girl?"
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CHUUYA VER IS BEING WRITTEN NOW !!!
RANDOM TAGS: @soukokulatte, @rxyyyyy, @kk-oma !!
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adisquietfollows · 29 days
Text
The reporters interviewed Amit Soussana for eight hours and doctors she spoke with immediately after her release. They also reviewed medical records, videos, text messages and photographs.
Full text under the cut.
March 26, 2024
Amit Soussana, an Israeli lawyer, was abducted from her home on Oct. 7, beaten and dragged into Gaza by at least 10 men, some armed. Several days into her captivity, she said, her guard began asking about her sex life.
Ms. Soussana said she was held alone in a child’s bedroom, chained by her left ankle. Sometimes, the guard would enter, sit beside her on the bed, lift her shirt and touch her, she said.
He also repeatedly asked when her period was due. When her period ended, around Oct. 18, she tried to put him off by pretending that she was bleeding for nearly a week, she recalled.
Around Oct. 24, the guard, who called himself Muhammad, attacked her, she said.
Early that morning, she said, Muhammad unlocked her chain and left her in the bathroom. After she undressed and began washing herself in the bathtub, Muhammad returned and stood in the doorway, holding a pistol.
“He came towards me and shoved the gun at my forehead,” Ms. Soussana recalled during eight hours of interviews with The New York Times in mid-March. After hitting Ms. Soussana and forcing her to remove her towel, Muhammad groped her, sat her on the edge of the bathtub and hit her again, she said.
He dragged her at gunpoint back to the child’s bedroom, a room covered in images of the cartoon character SpongeBob SquarePants, she recalled.
“Then he, with the gun pointed at me, forced me to commit a sexual act on him,” Ms. Soussana said.
Ms. Soussana, 40, is the first Israeli to speak publicly about being sexually assaulted during captivity after the Hamas-led raid on southern Israel. In her interviews with The Times, conducted mostly in English, she provided extensive details of sexual and other violence she suffered during a 55-day ordeal.
Ms. Soussana’s personal account of her experience in captivity is consistent with what she told two doctors and a social worker less than 24 hours after she was freed on Nov. 30. Their reports about her account state the nature of the sexual act; The Times agreed not to disclose the specifics.
Ms. Soussana described being detained in roughly half a dozen sites, including private homes, an office and a subterranean tunnel. Later in her detention, she said, a group of captors suspended her across the gap between two couches and beat her.
For months, Hamas and its supporters have denied that its members sexually abused people in captivity or during the Oct. 7 terrorist attack. This month, a United Nations report said that there was “clear and convincing information” that some hostages had suffered sexual violence and there were “reasonable grounds” to believe sexual violence occurred during the raid, while acknowledging the “challenges and limitations” of examining the issue.
After being released along with 105 other hostages during a cease-fire in late November, Ms. Soussana spoke only in vague terms publicly about her treatment in the Gaza Strip, wary of recounting such a traumatic experience. When filmed by Hamas minutes before being freed, she said, she pretended to have been treated well to avoid jeopardizing her release.
Ms. Soussana said she had decided to speak out now to raise awareness about the plight of the hostages still in Gaza, whose number has been put at more than 100, as negotiations for a cease-fire falter.
Hours after her release, Ms. Soussana spoke with a senior Israeli gynecologist, Dr. Julia Barda, and a social worker, Valeria Tsekhovsky, about the sexual assault, the two women said in separate interviews with The Times. A medical report filed jointly by them, and reviewed by The Times, briefly summarizes her account.
“Amit spoke immediately, fluently and in detail, not only about her sexual assault but also about the many other ordeals she experienced,” Dr. Barda said.
The following day, on Dec. 1, Ms. Soussana shared her experience with a doctor from Israel’s National Center of Forensic Medicine, according to the center’s medical report, which was reviewed by The Times.
Siegal Sadetzki, a professor at Tel Aviv University medical school who is helping and advising Ms. Soussana’s family as a volunteer, said Ms. Soussana first told her about the sexual assault within days of her release. Professor Sadetzki, a former top Israeli health official, said Ms. Soussana’s accounts have remained consistent.
Ms. Soussana also spoke to the U.N. team that published the report on sexual violence, but The Times was unable to review her testimony.
A spokesman for Hamas, Basem Naim, said in a 1,300-word response to The Times that it was essential for the group to investigate Ms. Soussana’s allegations, but that such an inquiry was impossible in “the current circumstances.”
Mr. Naim cast doubt on Ms. Soussana’s account, questioning why she had not spoken publicly about the extent of her mistreatment. He said the level of detail in her account makes “it difficult to believe the story, unless it was designed by some security officers.”
“For us, the human body, and especially that of the woman, is sacred,” he said, adding that Hamas’s religious beliefs “forbade any mistreatment of any human being, regardless of his sex, religion or ethnicity.”
Mr. Naim criticized The Times for insufficient coverage of Palestinian suffering, including reports of sexual assault by Israeli soldiers on Palestinian women, which have been the subject of investigations by U.N. officials, rights groups and others. He also said “civilian hostages were not the target” of the raid and said “we have from the first moment declared our readiness to release them.”
A Hamas planning document found in one village shortly after the Oct. 7 raid, which was reviewed by The Times, said: “Take soldiers and civilians as prisoners and hostages to negotiate with.” Video from Oct. 7 shows uniformed Hamas militants abducting civilians.
The Abduction
Ms. Soussana lived alone in a cramped single-story home on the western side of Kibbutz Kfar Azza. After hearing sirens warning of rocket attacks on Oct. 7, she said, she sheltered in her bedroom, which was also a reinforced safe room. From her bedroom, Ms. Soussana listened as the attackers’ gunfire grew closer.
The small kibbutz stands roughly 1.5 miles from Gaza, and it was one of more than 20 Israeli villages, towns and army bases overrun that day by thousands who surged across the Gazan border shortly after dawn. Some 1,200 people were killed that day and about 250 abducted, Israeli officials say, setting off a war in Gaza that local health officials say has killed at least 31,000 Palestinians.
Ms. Soussana was at the kibbutz almost by chance. Sick with a fever, she had been recuperating the previous day in the nearby city of Sderot, with her mother, Mira, who pressed her to stay the night. But Ms. Soussana drove home to Kfar Azza to feed her three cats, she said.
The youngest of three sisters, Ms. Soussana had grown up in Sderot. She qualified as a lawyer at a local college and worked for a law firm specializing in intellectual property. Her colleagues considered her a diligent, quiet and private person who kept her distance, her supervisor, Oren Mendler, said in an interview. In Kfar Azza, Ms. Soussana said, she rarely involved herself in village life and was not part of the local WhatsApp groups, which left her unaware of the extent of the attack on the kibbutz.
At 9:46 a.m. that day, she heard gunmen outside, prompting her to hide inside her bedroom closet, according to messages on her family WhatsApp group reviewed by The Times. Twenty minutes later, her phone died.
Moments later, “I heard an explosion, a huge explosion,” she said. “And the second after that, someone opened the closet door.”
Dragged from the closet, she said, she saw roughly 10 men rifling through her belongings, armed with assault rifles, a grenade launcher and a machete.
Part of the house was on fire — a blaze that would ruin the building.
Over the next hour, the group dragged her through a nearby field toward Gaza. Security footage from a solar farm near the kibbutz, which was widely circulated on the internet, shows the group repeatedly tackling her to the ground as they struggled to restrain her. At one point, a kidnapper picked her up and slung her across his back. The video shows her flailing so hard, her legs thrashing in the air, that the man tumbled to the ground.
“I didn’t want to let them take me to Gaza like an object, without a fight,” said Ms. Soussana. “I still kept believing that someone will come and rescue me.”
The Abuser
The kidnappers attempted to restrain her by beating her and wrapping her in a white fabric, the video shows. Unable to subdue her, the attackers tried and failed to carry her by bicycle, she said. Finally, they bound her hands and feet and dragged her across the bumpy farmland into Gaza, she said.
She was badly wounded, bleeding heavily, with a split lip, she said. The hospital report prepared shortly after her release said that she returned to Israel with fractures in her right eye socket, cheek, knee and nose and severe bruising on her knee and back. The report stated that several injuries were related to her abduction on Oct. 7, including punches to her right eye.
After reaching the edge of Gaza, Ms. Soussana said, she was shoved into a waiting car and driven a few hundred yards into the outskirts of Gaza City. She was untied, dressed in a paramilitary uniform and transferred to another car filled with uniformed militants. A hood was placed over her head, though she could still catch glimpses of her surroundings from under it, she said. After a short drive, she was hurried up a staircase and onto a rooftop, she said.
After the hood was removed, Ms. Soussana said, she found herself in a small structure built on the roof of what she would later realize was an upscale private home. She remembered that militants were busy taking more guns from a box. Then the gunmen hurried downstairs, and she was left alone, facing a wall, with a man who said he was the owner of the house and called himself Mahmoud, she recalled.
“After a couple of minutes, he said I can turn around,” Ms. Soussana said. “And I was shocked,” she added. “I find myself sitting in a house in Gaza.”
She said Mahmoud was soon joined by a younger man, Muhammad. She remembered Muhammad as a chubby, balding man of average height with a wide nose.
Later that day, they dressed her in a thick brown garment that covered her body, she said. They gave her three pills, which they said were painkillers. It was the only time that she remembers receiving any kind of medicine in Gaza, let alone medical treatment.
Fitted with a fan and a television, the room appeared to have been prepared for her arrival, she said. There were three mattresses, she said, one for her and two for the guards.
Early in her captivity, her guards chained her ankle to the window frame, she said. Around Oct. 11, she said, she was led by the chain to a bedroom downstairs. She understood that it belonged to one of Mahmoud’s sons, and that his family had been moved to another place.
The chain was reattached to the door handle, she said, next to a mirror. For the first time since her capture, she could see what she looked like.
“I saw the chains and I saw that my face was all swollen and blue,” she said.
“And I just started to cry,” she said. “This was one of the lowest moments of my life.”
The Jail
For the next two and a half weeks in October, Ms. Soussana said, she was guarded exclusively by Muhammad.
She recalled that the room was almost permanently shrouded in darkness. The curtain was usually drawn shut and there were rolling power outages for most of the day, she said.
She said Muhammad slept outside the bedroom, in the adjacent living room, but frequently entered the bedroom in his underwear, asking about her sex life and offering to massage her body.
When he took her to the bathroom, Ms. Soussana said, he refused to let her shut the door. After giving her sanitary pads, Muhammad seemed particularly interested in the timing of her period, she said. She said she had spoken in a mix of basic English and Arabic; she had learned a little Arabic at school and her mother’s family — Jews from Iraq — had sometimes spoken it during her childhood.
“Every day, he would ask: ‘Did you get your period? Did you get your period? When you get your period, when it will be over, you will wash, you will take a shower and you will wash your clothes,’” Ms. Soussana recalled.
When it arrived, Ms. Soussana said, she was exhausted, afraid and undernourished; her period lasted just one day. She managed to convince him that her menstruation continued for nearly a week, she said.
She tried to humanize herself in his eyes by asking the meaning of Arabic words she heard on television. She also promised that her family would reward him financially if she was returned without further harm to Israel, she said.
In the afternoons, two associates of Muhammad would join him at the apartment, bringing him a cooked meal, she said. Some of this food was given to her as her one meal of the day.
The Israeli strikes on the neighborhood became more frequent and frightening, Ms. Soussana said, noting that some shattered the windows. As the bombing intensified, she said, she started feeling sorry for the civilians, wondering why Hamas had never built bomb shelters for its people.
“I felt for them,” Ms. Soussana said. “Just think about growing up like this — it’s scary.”
The Assault
Early on the morning of the assault, she said, Muhammad insisted she take a shower, but she refused, saying the water was cold. Undeterred, he unchained Ms. Soussana and brought her to the kitchen and showed her a pot of water boiling on the stove, she said.
Minutes later, he brought her to the bathroom and gave her the heated water to pour over herself, she said.
After washing for a few minutes, she heard his voice again from the door, she said.
“‘Quickly, Amit, quickly,’” she recalled him saying.
“I turned around and I saw him standing there,” she said. “With the gun.”
She remembered reaching for a hand towel to cover herself as he advanced and hit her.
“He said, ‘Amit, Amit, take it off,’” she recalled. “Finally, I took it off.”
“He sat me on the edge of the bath. And I closed my legs. And I resisted. And he kept punching me and put his gun in my face,” Ms. Soussana said. “Then he dragged me to the bedroom.”
At that point, Muhammad forced her to commit a sexual act on him, Ms. Soussana said. After the assault, Muhammad left the room to wash, leaving Ms. Soussana sitting naked in the dark, she said.
When he returned, she recalled him showing remorse, saying, “I’m bad, I’m bad, please don’t tell Israel.”
That day, Muhammad repeatedly returned to offer her food, Ms. Soussana said. Sobbing on the bed, she turned down the initial offerings, she said.
Knowing that Ms. Soussana craved sunlight, she said, he refused to open the curtains, leaving the room in darkness. Desperate for daylight, she accepted the food, believing that she had no other option but to placate her abuser.
“You can’t stand looking at him — but you have to: He’s the one who’s protecting you, he’s your guard,” she said. “You’re there with him and you know that every moment it can happen again. You’re completely dependent on him.”
The Israelis
Ms. Soussana said her captors moved her away from the border after a major, hourslong bombardment overnight. Based on the extent of the explosions and snippets she caught on television, she later concluded it was around the start of Israel’s ground invasion of Gaza on Friday, Oct. 27.
On the following day, she was hurried into a small white car, she said. The driver headed southwest toward what she would later be told was the central city of Nuseirat.
“Muhammad is sitting in the back seat next to me, and with the gun pointed at me,” she said.
The car stopped outside what looked like a United Nations school and Ms. Soussana was ushered into a busy street, she recalled.
She said she was handed over to a man who called himself Amir. He marched her up the stairs of a nearby apartment block and into another private home, she said.
For the first time in weeks, she was free of Muhammad — but terrified to be entering yet another unknown. “‘Oh my God,’” she remembered wondering. “‘What’s going to happen to me?’”
The man ushered her into a bedroom and shut the door behind her, she recalled. Inside, she found two young women playing cards, next to an older man lying on a bed and an older woman sitting in a chair, she said. Ms. Soussana was wearing traditional clothes from Gaza, she recalled.
“They looked at me and I looked at them, for like half a minute,” she said. “Then I asked, ‘Are you Israelis?’”
“Are you Israeli?” Ms. Soussana remembered one of the women replying.
The Tunnels
Three weeks after her kidnapping, Ms. Soussana had been united with four other hostages. Hugging them, Ms. Soussana broke down in tears, she said.
The identities of the four others were shared with The Times on the condition that their names would not be used to protect those still in captivity.
A few days after her arrival, she was summoned to the apartment’s living room, Ms. Soussana recalled. Amir often played here with his children.
On that day, the guards wrapped her head in a pink shirt, forced her to sit on the floor, handcuffed her, and began beating her with the butt of a gun, she said.
After several minutes, they used duct tape to cover her mouth and nose, tied her feet, and placed the handcuffs on the base of her palms, she said. Then she was suspended, hanging “like a chicken” from a stick stretching between two couches, causing her such pain that she felt that her hands would soon be dislocated.
They carried on beating and kicking her, focusing on the soles of her feet, while simultaneously demanding information they believed she was hiding from them, Ms. Soussana said.
She still doesn’t understand what exactly they wanted or why they thought she was concealing something, she said. At one point, the head guard brought over a spike, and made as if to poke her eye with it, pulling away just in time, she said.
“It was like that for 45 minutes or so,” she said. “They were hitting me and laughing and kicking me, and called the other hostages to see me,” she said.
Ms. Soussana recalled that the kidnappers untied her and returned her to the bedroom, telling her she had 40 minutes to produce the information they wanted or else they would kill her. She said one of the young women was so frightened that she asked Ms. Soussana if she had any last messages for her family.
In mid-November, the hostages were separated: The two youngest women were taken to an unknown location, she said, while Ms. Soussana and the older couple were driven to a house surrounded by farmland.
They found the house full of gunmen, who ordered them to sit on the floor. Suddenly, the older woman began to scream, Ms. Soussana said.
The woman was looking into a shaft that descended into the ground, Ms. Soussana said. “I hear one of the drivers telling her: ‘Don’t worry, don’t worry. It’s a city down there.’”
“Then I realized,” Ms. Soussana said. “We’re going into the tunnels.”
The Release
A ladder, several stairs and a series of narrow sloping passageways led the three hostages deep underground, she said.
By the time they reached the bottom, the guards said they were 40 meters deep, something they hoped would reassure the hostages, she said: The Israeli bombs could not reach them there.
Ms. Soussana said a big gunman in a mask was waiting for them at the bottom. Initially, he started shouting at them, telling them that Israel had killed his family, she said, but then quickly stopped, removed his mask and took a different tone.
She said the man introduced himself in English as Jihad and told them his father had worked in Israel and had even had his Israeli boss to dinner, in the years when Israeli civilians could still enter Gaza. He spoke in Hebrew at times. Jihad said he had learned some from watching Israeli television and sang them a famous song that he had heard on a children’s show, Ms. Soussana remembered.
“I was shocked,” Ms. Soussana said. “Suddenly, he was the most humane guy we met there.”
The ground shook every time a missile struck nearby, making her fear they might be buried alive, she said. The tunnels were dark, damp and too narrow for two people to pass each other. And their subterranean cell was so short of air that they were left dizzy and panting after taking a few steps, she said.
Israeli troops would later capture and photograph the tunnel. Ms. Soussana identified fabrics and mattresses in the pictures.
Their captors spent little more than an hour a day in the tunnel, ascending to higher levels overnight for fresh air, Ms. Soussana said. The hostages pleaded with the guards to bring them, too.
After several days, the kidnappers gave in, brought them back to the surface and drove them to another private house, Ms. Soussana said.
They were still there when Israel and Hamas agreed to a hostage deal and a temporary truce, which went into force on Friday, Nov. 24. The following day, the three hostages were driven to an office in Gaza City — Ms. Soussana’s final detention site.
Every day brought hope and disappointment. It was never clear which hostages would be freed, or when.
On Thursday, Nov. 30, which turned out to be the last full day of the truce, the guards were making lunch when one of them finished a phone call and turned to Amit.
“He says: ‘Amit. Israel. You. One hour,’” Ms. Soussana recalled.
Within an hour, Ms. Soussana said, she was separated from the older hostage and driven through Gaza City. The car stopped, and a woman in a hijab climbed inside. It was another Israeli hostage: Mia Schem, who was also being released.
They were taken to a junkyard, Ms. Soussana recalled. Around them, she said, their guards changed from civilian clothes into uniforms.
Finally, the two women were driven to Palestine Square, a major plaza at the heart of Gaza City, where a raucous crowd waited to see them handed over to the Red Cross. Social media video showed that Hamas struggled to control the onlookers, who surrounded the car, pressed up against its windows and at one point began to rock the vehicle, Ms. Soussana said.
After a tense few minutes, the Red Cross officials managed to transfer the women to their jeep.
As they approached the Israeli border, a female Red Cross official handed Ms. Soussana a phone. A person who said he was a soldier greeted her in Hebrew.
“He said, ‘A couple more minutes and we’re going to meet you,’” Ms. Soussana said. “I remember, I started to cry.”
Aaron Boxerman and Isabel Kershner contributed reporting.
Patrick Kingsley is the Jerusalem bureau chief, covering Israel and the occupied territories. He has reported from more than 40 countries, written two books and previously covered migration and the Middle East for The Guardian. More about Patrick Kingsley
Ronen Bergman is a staff writer for The New York Times Magazine, based in Tel Aviv. His latest book is “Rise and Kill First: The Secret History of Israel’s Targeted Assassinations,” published by Random House. More about Ronen Bergman
A version of this article appears in print on March 27, 2024, Section A, Page 1 of the New York edition with the headline: Israeli Hostage Tells of Sexual Assault in Gaza. Order Reprints | Today’s Paper | Subscribe
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fcthots · 4 months
Note
here with some Christmas gus ask 💪💪
when jason sets up the Christmas tree he has to place the decorations of the tree high enough, out of gus's reach, because gus always plays with them and knocks the Christmas decorations if they're within close reach
- 🦇
Merry Christmas nonnie!! Gus is the best present
Tim had a minor injury. Very minor. That was why he collapsed on the fire escape of your apartment. Okay, maybe the blood loss wasn't ideal, but hey. He's not dead yet.
Though he thinks he might die out of spite when he sees the large orange ball of fluff staring at him from the window. Gus's screech of a meow does not help the migraine brewing behind his eyes. Though he supposes he should be thankful when said demon screech alerts you to the bleeding bird on your balcony. He watches the shock and worry on your face as you use one hand to tear open the window and the other to hold the still yelling cat away from his desired escape route.
"Tim, what the fuck??? JASON"
He tries to say "it's fine," but to be completely honest, he's not sure he gets the words out. He sees Jason come barrelling down the hallway, eyes checking over your body for injury until he spots Tim still laying in a pile on his fire escape.
"Hey." He is fairly confident that he managed to get his mouth to move this time. Jason does not respond to his greeting in the same kind manor Tim had opened with. Rude.
Jason manages to pick Tim up and deposit him into a chair. He spends time stitching up the knife wound Tim got from what he swears was "just a lucky hit." Tim takes Jason's mother henning in stride while you make him something to eat, insisting that a granola bar doesn't count as dinner. Gus is not happy about Tim's intrusion into his home, watching his every move. Tim assumes the cat thinks it's being subtle, but all 20 pounds of cat do not hide behind the leg of the kitchen table as well as it may think. Especially when it flops over as Jason passes, heading to grab some spare clothes for Tim who "shouldn't grapple home with a stab wound."
Tim huffs and crosses his arms, only slightly wincing as it tugs at his stitches. It's only then that he notices the tree, the tree that only has the top half decorated. Almost three feet above the ground of this tree has no ornaments. He can find no discernible reason. He knows Jason would have decorated the apartment November first and it is well into December. He's seen the ridiculous number of ornaments that the two of you own. To be honest, he's not sure where you keep all the decorations out of season. The working theory is an extra safe house somewhere, but after working this pet project in his spare time for two years now, he hasn't figured out which one. Regardless, he can think of no reason, nay, negative reasons as to why not all of your tree is decorated. He stares at it so long that he spaces out and loses track of time.
Come to think of it, has your tree always been like this? He's noticed that the bottom of your tree usually has less ornaments, but the no ornaments thing has to be new, right?
"Uh Tim?" He whirls around to face you where you hand him a plate of something that looks like pasta. He briefly looks at you and then back over to the tree. "You good there, bud?"
"I am losing my mind. Why is only half of your tree decorated?"
"Is that why you've been staring at the tree for over a half hour now?"
"It's bothering me. Please. I have to know."
Tim isn't sure why he was expecting it to be some earth shattering secret. He probably should not be disappointed that it wasn't because you were sending an assassin a top secret code using trees. He is only mildly ashamed to report that his mouth hung open with slight judgement and shock as you said, "Gus likes to knock the ornaments off the tree for sport, and while we're usually just glad he's getting exercise, last year he tried to eat the glass of a broken ornament so we're just playing it safe this year."
The cat seems to laugh at Tim's descent into insanity from behind the table's leg. The cat could be an assassin now that he thinks about it.
And now that he thinks about it harder, maybe he lost more blood than he was previously aware of.
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buckyalpine · 8 months
Text
Sub!Mob Bucky x reader ft pegging
18+
Dom CEO Bucky x f reader
A bit of a pegging drabble. Welcome to my fever dreams. I started this when I was dying and sick in November. I’m still sick but not in the way you think, just my ideas are sick and I’m a sick person for this. This is the OG fic that inspired this, proceed with caution. 
Once again shame on me. 
Lets say, after the first time, you’re both insatiable 
He doesn’t always need it hard and rough.
Sometimes he needs you to fill him while being soft and slow, your hand wrapped around his cock while his thick thighs hug your waist. Your lips brush against his while he moans for you, your hips rolling slowly. 
Like today. 
Quiet footsteps ascend the stairs and you know he’s home. His hair is a little messy from repeatedly running his hands through it, his tie loosened, sleeves rolled up. His eyes are tired but they light up as soon as they lock with yours. 
“Hey angel” He pulls you into his arms, his face burying into the crook of your neck. “Missed you baby” 
“Missed you handsome” You coo, pecking his lips while wrapping his arms around his waist, inhaling the remnants of the cologne he’d sprayed that morning, “How was work” 
“Just tired, long day” He shrugs, taking his watch off and removing his tie. You help him undress, unbuttoning his shirt and placing it in the hamper while he slips his belt off and hangs his slacks in the closet. 
“Hot shower?” You smile up and him softly, while he give you a small nod, his muscles still tensed from stress. 
“Yes please” 
He happily follows you into the bathroom, for once finding your scorching hot water temperature satisfying instead of cowering away from it. You grab some shower gel, scrubbing and massaging his skin while he groans, feeling his body start to relax.
“Feel better baby?”
“Mhm” He kisses you deeply, savoring the taste of your lips, the sweetness of your tongue. Nothing makes him happier than being at home with his sweet angel. He loves the way your hands wrap around his body, gently rubbing and kneading his back, working down his spine. 
After you both rinse off, you wrap yourself up with your fluffy robe, only to have it tossed off you seconds later when Bucky throws his own towel aside, pulling you into bed with him. You squeak as he pulls you to straddle on top of him, his hard cock swollen against his abs while he rubs up and down your soft thighs. 
“I’ve had a long day baby” He whispers, his eyes more puppy like than usual. You know he’s still not fully relaxed, your hand cupping his cheek, caressing him scruff while he kisses the inside of your palm. 
“What does daddy need” 
“Fill me angel” He groans, laying down, his head against the pillows, legs parted. You know exactly what he needs, humming softly. You grab the bottle of lube, squeezing a drop onto your finger tips while you lay on top of him, kissing his face. Your hand brushes and massages his scalp, carding through his hair while the other hand trails down, ghosting over his cock to his tight ring of muscle. 
You know how he needs it, gently pushing your finger in, sliding in and out, smiling at the soft sigh he lets out, spreading his legs further so you could open him up more. You slip the toy on so it sits snugly around your hips, pecking his lips before lining the tip up with his perfect hole. 
“Ready daddy?”
“Please baby” He whispered, moaning deeply as soon as the toy breeched his hole, his eyes rolling back as you started to push in deeper. You took your time, giving him long, deep strokes, the same way he did when he took his time making you feel good. 
“That’s it love, make love to daddy” He groaned, gently guiding your hips to hit that spot that makes his cock leak, the tip of his length making a mess on his tummy. You slowed down to swipe up the sticky mess he was making, licking it clean off your fingers before continuing to fuck him, focused on giving him the most pleasure you could. 
“You taste so good daddy” You tasted him again, your cheeks growing warm as he locked his eyes with you, his lips parted, panting each time you thrusted in. 
“You love this don’t you princess, God you’re so - mmpph fuck - so good” He started to lose himself, his deep moaning getting higher, nearly whimpering when you changed the angle of your thrusts, pressing against his prostate. “Fuck right there princess, please, r-right fucking there, c’mere” 
“There daddy?” You whispered, moving faster, your body falling onto his as he wrapped his arms around you, lifting his thighs up so you could fuck him deeper. He kept his face tucked against your neck, nipping and sucking your soft skin, his cock bumping against your stomach with your movements, 
“There-there-’mgonna c-cum” He was sure he was going to cry from pleasure, all the tension of his day melting away as pleasure crawled up his spine, deep euphoria spreading through his body. “Angel, m’cumming!” 
There was no warning as streams of cum burst from his cock, his hips rutting up for more friction, humping against your body, his length pressed between your bodies. You cooed, gently grazing his scalp, continued to fuck him through his high, not stopping until he was milked dry, a creamy milky mess on the both of you. 
He spend the rest of the night with his face between your legs, more relaxed than ever, rewarding you for doing such a good job, giving you 3 orgasms for his hands free one. 
Now @cadencejames87 inspired this, cause imagine he wants more. Not just for you to make him feel good but for the both of you to feel good together. He gets a double sided toy so you could both spread your legs apart across from each other, the both of you stretched open while your bodies move in sync. Sometimes you’re both on your backs, his heavy legs on top of yours, feet planted on the mattress, just relishing in the feeling of being filled up he may or may not have had your end molded after him since no one else gets to stretch you open like that, toy or not. 
When he’s extra needy, you’re both bent over while he pushes back to stimulate the both of you, his cock leaking all over the sheets, jaw slack while he desperately moans with no shame, bouncing his hips back, his ass clapping againsts yours JESUS 
Anyway.
Please don’t block me. 
Please. 
575 notes · View notes
calmcoldevening · 29 days
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Hi, I was wondering if you could do a Micheal Myers X Dr. Loomis’s daughter reader one shot? I thought it’d be an interesting read lol. If you’re not Interested or too busy that’s completely fine! I just haven’t seen any one else do this request. Honestly, I would request more, but I’m always too nervous to talk to people online and in person. Sorry for the unnecessary rambling! Thank you and have a lovely day or night ( depending on what time you see this lol )!
Michael Myers x reader, who is Dr. Loomis's daughter
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The boy with the eyes of the devil. Monster.
You didn’t fully understand what your father was talking about, after all, at that time you were only six years old, but you could say with confidence that this “something” made your father terribly nervous and even frightened him, although he would never admit it.
It was an ordinary early November morning. The weather was cloudy, all the streets were filled with milky fog. The damp air settled unpleasantly in my lungs with each new breath. You sat in the back seat of the car while your father put the key in the ignition. Your small hands nervously fiddled with the edge of your seat belt. Not to say that this was your first trip to your father’s place of work, no. On the contrary, you often went there with him, because sometimes there was no one to leave you with at home, almost all of your dad’s colleagues knew you. And yet today the atmosphere in the car was unpleasantly oppressive and dense, you could literally cut it with a knife. It seemed that your father was weighed down by some thoughts, but you did not dare to ask him about it.
The journey to the psychiatric hospital took quite a long time because your father decided to take a longer but safer route. He didn't want any accident to happen due to such thick fog.
When you arrived at the hospital, it was already around seven in the morning. You approached a tall building, which, despite its appearance and neat paths for walking with patients, inspired subconscious fear in you. Your father gently but firmly took your hand.It was quite dark outside, so when you walked inside, an unpleasant greenish light hit your eyes, creating a strangely tense atmosphere among the white walls of the hospital. Your father immediately went to some office. It was a small office, filled with various folders and documents. In the middle of the room, at a dark table, sat the man with whom your father was now talking. You didn’t pay much attention to their conversation, completely captivated by the small colorful fish in the aquarium. Your children's palms carefully pressed against the slightly cloudy glass, joyfully following with your eyes the colorful fish hiding among the tall corals.
Finally, your father called your name, causing you to reflexively turn your head in his direction. His voice was gentle and calm, but it still contained his characteristic sternness.
 “I need you to stay here for a while, okay? I have work in another office. Will you be a good girl for me?” Loomis asked with a small smile, patting your head. In response, you only nodded briefly.
You were always a smart and understanding child, so Loomis was not afraid to leave you alone. Although he knew that you liked to play by your own rules from time to time, the man really trusted you and your smart mind for a child. After all, you are your father's daughter.
 About fifteen minutes passed before you realized that you were tired of watching the office fish. What's the point of staring at them for a long time if all they do is swim back and forth and back? You definitely should have taken some toys from home. Finally, when boredom took over, you carefully left the office, hoping to find your father and proudly declare that you had nothing to do. Wandering along the corridor, you caught some nurse and asked where your dad was now. This kind soul, of course, didn’t know that she shouldn’t tell you about this, but everyone in this place knew you as a smart and calm child, so she told you the right office without any problems.
It was a particularly remote room at the end of the corridor. The dim green light barely reached here, and there were no windows in this part of the hospital. You quietly opened the right door, wincing slightly at the disgusting creak, and went inside. Inside there was another door with a small window to the right of it. You walked closer to the window, because of your short stature you could barely see what was happening on the other side of the glass. But you perfectly saw your father sitting with his back to you. A strange boy sat next to him. His blond hair was disheveled and looked somewhat dirty, and his empty dark eyes looked simultaneously into nothingness, but at the same time into your very soul. He looked no older than your age, although he was obviously larger than you in size. Your father was telling him something, but the boy did not react to his words at all, he just looked blankly out the window opposite. Did he look at you? Unknown.But it seemed to you that the moment you came into his field of vision, the boy’s head shifted slightly to the side.
This was the first time you saw this boy, a most strange but intriguing meeting. Michael Myers. That’s what your father called him, looking through the child’s personal file in your kitchen at home with a cup of coffee in his hands.
The next time you saw this boy was only about two weeks later. Your father purposefully brought you to Michael's room, hoping that perhaps you, as a child, could establish some kind of contact with this strange boy. Loomis gently squeezed your hand, looking down at you with a smile.
“This is a special boy. You should try playing with him, okay?” You nodded curtly in response. "That’s my girl."
Loomis led you into the same small room, not even suspecting that you had already been here once. Your own cunning caused a small, naive smile to bloom on your face. Loomis led you to Michael sitting on the bed and sat you on the chair next to him.
“I’ll be behind this door if anything happens to you, okay honey?” With these words, Loomis left the room.
You carefully sat down on the chair, folding your hands in your lap. The boy in front of you looked almost like a lifeless doll, so empty was the look in his dark eyes. He looked somewhere ahead and didn't even blink. You smiled slightly, deciding to use all your charm and friendliness.
“My name is Y/N. And what is your name?"
The boy didn't react. But you could have sworn you saw the focus of his eyes shift from the emptiness in front of him to you, seemingly appraising you. A pleasant burning sensation lit up in your heart when you realized that this boy was truly “special”, as your dad told you, and not some emotionless vegetable. It seems like that’s what doctors called such people, no? You weren't sure. But you really wanted to appear grown up and work like your dad in the future, so you wanted to start getting some knowledge about it right now.
“Your name is Michael, right?” you smiled your childish, somewhat toothless smile, “You don’t really like to talk, do you? I think yes. Then do you mind if I do the talking?” There was only silence in response. You giggled, “Silence is a sign of consent! So, I'm six. Probably you too? I haven’t been told much about you, to be honest.”
Now you leaned back in your chair, folding your arms over your chest and pouting your lips in a mock pout.
“This is so awkward. I want to grow up quickly so I won't be treated like a child anymore! Oh, you know, I really like to draw! I don't think you'll tell me what you like, after all, it's just me talking now, but next time let me bring sketchbooks and pencils? I think you'll enjoy drawing too! It's really interesting."
One moment there is darkness, and the next there is this gentle voice and a warm feeling of presence. Other... people radiated only coldness and anger towards him, but this pure soul was strangely kind and welcoming. He had already felt it once, when that unpleasant and stern man was in front of him, but then she was far away. Now she was right in front of him. A girl. She told him her name, and even tried to start some kind of cute, even somewhat stupid, childish conversation with him. There was absolutely no point in talking to this girl, but for some reason her presence was strangely comforting and almost pleasant. It was as if he was little again, at home. But now he knew that he did not have that warm, old home. Not after the voice in his head told him to kill his dirty sister, no. And yet now he wanted the presence of this girl, although he himself did not know why.
You have become a frequent visitor to this psychiatric hospital. You usually visited Michael once or twice a week, and Loomis very soon noticed the results. The boy really opened up to you. Even if it really couldn’t be seen with a simple glance, Samuel, as a psychiatrist, had long noticed the difference: the way Michael’s head tilted when he listened with interest to your stories, or the way he gave you certain unambiguous answers in his own way. It seemed that the two of you had your own language, understandable only to you two. Michael even smiled next to you (although it could hardly be called a smile, but the corners of his lips curled up slightly nervously when he saw you, although it only happened for a split second). For Loomis, this was indeed a definite discovery. The man noticed how the boy sat on his bed for a long time, waiting for you, and seemed to be calculating the time and day. The hospital did not tell him today’s date, because there was no particular need for this, but Michael independently realized that you usually come on Tuesday or Wednesday and always Friday. Surprisingly, his cold heart opened up to you.
At first, this really encouraged Loomis, because perhaps his patient was beginning to recover. But after two or three months he realized that he was mistaken. Michael's personality development only happened in exceptional moments when you were around. The rest of the time, he did not react in any way to the requests or words of the staff and doctors. Michael has become attached to you. No, rather, to some extent he became obsessed with you. Loomis saw that deadly metallic glint in Michael's dark eyes as the man walked back into the room, saying your time is up. Michael’s childish fists almost twitched, as if an obsessive desire to hurt the doctor arose in his mind, if only you would remain nearby.
As the years passed, the doctor realized that getting you into Myers' "treatment" was a bad idea. Now you are ten years old, and Loomis has reduced your meetings to twice a month. He noticed how this affected the boy.
Now Michael absolutely refused to make contact with any of the doctors, spending all his free time in his room, staring blankly at the ceiling. His wall near the bed was covered with your drawings, and on a small table in the corner of the room lay a half-empty pack of pencils and a new album. You brought it during your last visit, saying that you would draw it next time. Five weeks have passed since that time, and Michael still hasn’t dared to touch the ill-fated album. The cover with the cats was already fairly covered with dust, and the pencils were covered in red and black. Michael obediently waited for the next time, knowing that you would not deceive. It is so? You always came back, no matter how badly he behaved with doctors, right? He will wait as long as necessary, like a little faithful puppy.
The guy stopped counting the days, and the world around him turned into endless darkness. All these brainless doctors and orderlies, whose souls are each blacker than the other. Vile, dirty people with no compassion. He missed his little flower. A pure, cheerful creature who brings colors into his life, and with them light. Her soul was the only source of light in this endless dark pit. Why was it taken from him? They took away his source of warmth and light, his little sun. She will be back. She'll definitely be back. She's different. He knows.
---
It was an ordinary cloudy day at the Illinois State Mental Hospital. The sky was covered with a dense layer of gray clouds, threatening to burst into torrential rain, and fog covered everything around. The evening swayed the trees with thin tables with unprecedented force, carrying already fairly yellowed leaves for miles around in a simple dance.
You sighed nervously, looking at the fading nature outside the window. Finally, you turned your head in the direction of your father, who was enthusiastically giving you another lecture of instructions, completely not noticing that you were absolutely not interested in it.
"..dad. I’ve read his personal file three times already, I understand everything, okay?”
The man frowned, but exhaled in defeat, folding his hands behind his back. Even when he relaxed his face, a few wrinkles on his face remained, clearly indicating the man's age and the stress of his job.
“I know, I’m just worried about you.Are you sure you want to practice medicine with this particular patient? You know, there are several dozen more patients in your specialty, and less dangerous ones..."
“Dad,” you interrupt him with a frown, “You and I have already discussed this several times, haven’t we? Don't worry. After all, he is your patient, I know you will intervene if something goes wrong.”
Finally the man gave in. He nodded in agreement and briefly hugged you, patting you on the head like when you were a child. A short “ok” left his lips, and together you headed towards the ill-fated office.
The sound of a door opening. Michael didn't bother to turn his head towards the entering doctor. The guy knew that now again the meaningless dialogues on the part of the doctor and even more meaningless taking of pills would begin. He was healthy, the guy was sure of it. He had long ago become accustomed to the emptiness in his chest that had become painfully familiar to him and the noise of endless thoughts in his mind. And he didn't want to change that. It was as if, over such a long period of time, this state had become like a protective cocoon for him.
The room was filled with an unobtrusive sweetish aroma of some fruity perfume, from which Michael could barely restrain himself from wrinkled his nose. The heavy silence in the room was interrupted only by the steady tapping of women's heels. It had been a long time since he had been visited by a female doctor, something new.
"Hello, Michael."
These few words made the guy's heart clench unpleasantly. He stared in front of him, now fully feeling that long-forgotten feeling of warmth and light presence. That bright figure of white light appeared before my eyes again, like the purest angel on earth. A short sigh escaped from his chest, and his lips almost reflexively bent into a pitiful semblance of a smile. Still, he was really glad to see her. He knew she would return. He knew, even if that pathetic old man and his employees told Michael otherwise. He knew you were different.
"It's been a long time... I'm really sorry."
He remained silent, instead absorbing her every new word like a sponge thrown into the sea. Now he didn't care that she left, because she came back. The guy tried to remember everything: the aroma of her perfume, which now seemed so painfully sweet and pleasant, driving his entire pulsating mind crazy; the sound of her angelic voice is like a gentle cradle, lulling him in her tender embrace. He tried to remember everything. Now her fragile image filled his entire mind. He wanted to touch, touch, feel, show that she was his. Over the many years of being here, he realized that she was his, and he had to prove it to everyone. His light, his delicate flower, his sun.The guy was ready to fulfill all her instructions and requests, if only she would stay with him as long as possible. Stayed forever.
Now the girl came to him every day, and Michael could not imagine anything better. It was as if all his dreams had come true.
She was his personal nurse.
In the mornings she sometimes combed his hair. Usually it stuck out and was very messy and dirty, but now his curly hair looked clean and soft.
She brought him food, and sometimes Michael deliberately chose to pretend to be a brainless vegetable, if only she would feed him herself, gently bringing the spoon to his bitten lips.
Michael could have sworn that there was actually excitement and tenderness in her actions, as if she was worried and genuinely cared about him. And just thinking about it made his soul warm. Now he heard her voice every day, felt her gentle touches, felt her trepidation and care. But this was not enough. He wanted more. Michael felt a strange burning sensation when she talked to other people in the hospital, especially men. He began to feel an unpleasant itch, and images were scrolling through his head of how he could kill this vile guard and then pull her into his protective arms. Michael wanted her hands on his neck or in his hair, and his hands on her soft hips. He wanted her for himself and no one else.
---
That morning you came again to give Michael pills. You were the only one Michael allowed to give him his medicine. He would even drink poison from your hands. The main condition was that there should be no security either inside or outside.
You moved closer, gently lifting Michael's chin with your gentle fingers. He wrapped his arms around your hips, looking up at you, and obediently opened his mouth. You placed the colored tablet on his tongue, to which he quickly swallowed it, without water. The man’s hands gently roamed over your soft flesh, pressing you as close to him as possible. You gently massaged his tangled hair, lightly scratching his itchy skin from constant thoughts.
“Michael..” his name sounds like the sweetest honey on your tongue, the man is ready to listen to this for an eternity, “I’m sorry, but today is the last day of my practice.”
Michael raised his eyebrows slightly, snuggling into your gentle hand.He wanted you to explain what it was about and why you had such a sad expression on your face. The guy wanted answers, but you perfectly remembered your father’s request not to tell him about it. This could cause Michael to become aggressive. Still, you didn’t want to hurt him. So you just briefly hugged him by his strong shoulders and briefly kissed his forehead.
The next day you didn't come.
And every other day too.
Did he do something wrong? The evil doctors did not allow you to come to him again? Michael had many questions, and yet, the answer for him was the arrogant smiling face of Dr. Loomis.
---
It was Halloween evening. You have already distributed all your candy to the children in colorful costumes, who for a good few hours interrupted your peaceful existence with their constant knocking on the door. Now you were sitting relaxed on the sofa in the living room and watching your favorite horror movie, sipping sweet soda with pleasure. And so, at the next moment, when something terrible was about to happen in the film, you heard that ill-fated doorbell again. With an annoyed sigh, you stood up from the couch, setting the soda on the table, and headed towards the door. To your surprise, there was no one on the street. But as soon as you closed the door, a pair of strong arms wrapped around your waist. You tried to escape, hitting the stranger in the stomach with your elbows, to which you only received a muffled grunt. A strange metallic smell filled my nose. You turned around, feeling your heart beating wildly in fear in your chest. Your eyes met the emotionless eye-shaped cutouts on the latex mask. Is this some kind of joke? You wanted to scream, but were interrupted by the sharp sensation of someone else's lips on your neck. How did he manage to roll up the edge of his mask so quickly? You bit your lower lip in fear, pulling off the unfortunate mask with one sharp movement. Now a pair of sad dark eyes are staring at you.
“Michael?.. How you.. why are you here?”
The man just muttered something unintelligible, rubbing his nose against the skin of your neck.
Loomis worriedly dialed your phone number, putting the phone to his ear. His most dangerous and unstable patient has escaped. Possible options for his direction were his younger sister Laurie and... you.
“Y/N, baby, are you okay? I'm in the hospital now and Myers has escaped! If he headed towards you and something happened to you, I don’t know what I’ll do...” The doctor muttered nervously, wiping his own forehead, sweaty from stress, with his palm.
“No, it's okay, dad. I didn’t see him,” came the answer from the other side of the line. A steady, quiet snoring could be heard in the background.
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stevie-petey · 6 months
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episode one: the vanishing of will byers
Steve nods, as if you almost getting hit by his car makes perfect sense to him. When you walk over to your bike and inspect it for any damage, he follows after you.  “So,” he whistles, trying to pretend that this is all a completely normal occurrence. “You, uh, need a ride?” Honestly you don’t know why you’re surprised he hasn’t noticed the clear signs of you crying, your swollen eyes and red nose. Not only is he a boy, but he’s also Steve Harrington. It’s a miracle he even stopped to make sure you weren’t dead.
summary: jonathan smuggles you free food in exchange for friendship, will goes missing the one time you listen to jonathan, hopper doesn't really like you, and steve harrington almost hits you with his car as you're sobbing like a damn baby (in a cool way).
rating: general, although there's plenty of cursing and slight innuendos, so fair warning.
warnings: cursing, fem!reader, and use of y/n.
words: 7k
before you swing in: hello ! this is the first chapter of my come home series, where i plan on rewriting the entirety of stranger things because i really love a good rewrite fic and this is me just indulging in my ideal fic fantasies tbh. before we start: this is a steve x reader fic, however there will be some slight feelings between the reader and jonathan because, but it doesn't at all get in the way of steve and honestly just adds to the angst because i love a good tragedy. also, reader is dustin's older sister, but i tried to write her as neutral as possible in terms of physical features, so let's all just play along. that is all ! i'm very excited for this series and i hope y'all enjoy her as much as i do :)
-
November 6th, 1983
Your shift at Bookstrordinary ends at 8:30 tonight, so as soon as you’ve organized all the books within the store and cashed out the last customer, you say goodnight to your boss, Mrs. Waters, and clock out. Today had been a longer shift, and it didn’t help that you had to deal with a particularly eager bookclub mother who insisted that you had the latest copy of some obscure novel that she needed for her club. After several attempts to inform her that no, you really didn’t have some novel about a cowboy falling in love with a rodeo girl from Michigan, nor would you ever want to read that, the mother angrily walked away. 
You’re happy to finally be free from work though, excited to see Jonathan to tell him about the book club mom because you know he gets a kick out of those suburban middle class mothers that terrorize Hawkins. He works across from you, at The Hawk theater, and it’s one of your favorite things about the bookstore. Besides getting to be surrounded by books all day and reading Spider-Man, you get to be across the street from your best friend and share frequent breaks together. 
A bell signifies your arrival at the theater, alerting Jonathan to look up from the concession stand and smile at you. He looks tired, which you can understand. It’s been a particularly long school year so far with Jonathan having to work more shifts than usual to support his family. 
“Welcome to The Hawk, can I interest you in our specialty popcorn and candy corn mixture?”
You make a face, “No, thanks. Candy corn freaks me out.” 
Jonathan laughs, knowing you’d say that. It’s been a running joke between the two of you for as long as you can remember. You’re not picky with most foods, but candy corn? The bane of your existence. “Tough crowd, then.” 
You laugh as well, now standing in front of the counter, and you learn against it so that you’re in Jonathan’s space. After being friends for so long, personal space doesn’t exist between the two of you. You’re the only person that Jonathan lets get this close to him on a regular basis, which you’re secretly proud of. 
“So, you almost done so we can pick up our idiotic brothers?” Tonight, as usual, Will and Dustin are at Mike’s house playing DnD. They’d biked over as soon as school let out, while Jonathan drove you to work, so he was your ride back for the night. 
He shakes his head at you, wincing, “I picked up an extra shift tonight. Stacy called out sick, and it’s good money…”
You nod in understanding. He doesn’t have to explain himself to you, which he’s always relieved by. 
“It’s okay. Is my bike still in your trunk?” 
“Yeah, I can get it out for you since I’m kind of ditching you tonight.” 
You wave him off, already reaching across the counter to grab his keys from his coat pocket. “No need, I’ll get it out myself so you don’t get in trouble with your boss.” Jonathan’s boss is an older guy, extra scary. “I’m assuming that I’m taking Will home tonight?” 
“It’ll be late by the time you get the boys, and you’ll have Dustin. We only live a couple blocks apart, you can just bike with Will until you get to your street.”
“Are you sure? I know he’s scared of the dark.” 
“It’s fine, Y/N. You’re already doing enough being there for most of the ride; I’m sure Will can survive the last five minutes alone.” 
You give Jonathan an unsure look, but you don’t argue with him. He’s his brother, he knows Will’s capabilities, and it’s an unspoken fact that you baby Will a bit too much. He’s just so much tinier than the other boys, softer in a way that you want to protect. He’s special. 
Jonathan sneaks you a large peach lemonade and hot dog from the concession stand when you return with his keys. You’ve parked your bike up front, and you accept the food gratefully. You hadn’t had time to eat your usual dinner during your break due to the bookclub mother fiasco, so you inhale the food quickly and give his hair a ruffle. 
“You’re a lifesaver, bee.” 
Jonathan lightly hits your hand away from his hair. “Consider it your payment for dealing with Will and Dustin on your own tonight, bug.” 
Bee and bug were the names the two of you had given each other years ago. Jonathan had started it with bug, stemming from the fact that you love Spider-Man so much, and you had struggled to come up with your own nickname for him. Then it came to you: bee, or B, for Byers. It was perfect, and you’re still incredibly proud of yourself for the creativity, honestly. 
After your quick dinner, you say goodbye to your friend and head off. It’s late now, nearing 9, and you hope that Mrs. Wheeler and your own mom won’t be too upset with you for being late for pick up. You know they prefer to have the boys in bed by a decent hour, but in your defense, Jonathan did skip out on you.
You arrive at the Wheeler’s in a short amount of time and knock on the door. Your cheeks are flushed from the early November cold, and you’re regretting that you only put on a thin sweater and jeans this morning.
Mike answers the door, giving you a dirty look. “Did you have to come early?”
“I’m actually later than usual,” you sidestep him, making your way into his house; you’ve become used to Mike’s attitude. “I take it the campaign is still ongoing?”
“See, mom? Even Y/N understands how long a good campaign can go on for!” Mike waves his arms at you, as if to signify to his mother the importance of your understanding. 
Mrs. Wheeler ignores her son to greet you kindly, albeit a bit exasperated. “Hello, Y/N, please come in.” Then she turns to Mike, giving him a stern look. “Mike, why don’t you tell Y/N how you boys have been playing for ten hours? I’m sure she’ll be understanding then.” 
“You guys have been playing for ten hours?”
Mike looks down in embarrassment for a second before turning to his father for help. You laugh a bit at his enthusiasm and see a faint smile on his mom’s face as well. Quietly you excuse yourself to go downstairs to find the other boys, and Mrs. Wheeler wishes you luck. 
Everyone always acts like the boys are some giant pain; truthfully, you enjoy them. Sure, they can be a handful, but they’re just kids; it’s hard for you to ever stay mad at them. Plus they like you, so it makes dealing with them easier. 
Lucas, Dustin, and Will are running around the basement when you get down there, frantically searching for something. You hear Lucas inform Will that if Mike doesn’t see something, then it doesn’t count. The urgence in his voice amuses you; you’ll never fully wrap your head around why they take DnD so seriously, but you love that they can enjoy it with each other. 
Dustin is the first to see you. “Y/N!”
The other boy’s heads turn to you and they greet you with enthusiasm as well. Will rushes towards you for a hug, which you gladly accept. When you break apart, Lucas gives you a high five and asks about a comic you’ve put on hold for him at the store. 
“Any luck?”
“Sorry, Sinclair. It’s still sold out, but the second it’s restocked I’ll smuggle one for you.” 
“Sick!” 
Dustin walks over, now in his coat and holding a pizza box. “Want a slice?” 
You decline, informing him that Jonathan snuck some food for you. At the mention of his brother’s name, Will asks where he is. You tell him that Jonathan had to cover a shift and that you’ll be taking him most of the way home tonight. 
As you all make your way upstairs, you notice that Dustin continues up to the second floor. Lucas notices too, and the two of you share a knowing look. 
“Still have a crush on Nancy?” You ask, already knowing the answer. 
“Yup.” Lucas responds, smiling in disappointment. 
You wait for your brother outside, helping Will with his coat and listen to Mike’s rambling about the campaign. Lucas is already on his bike, ready to go. 
“There’s something wrong with your sister.” Dustin declares when he finally returns.
Mike looks at you, then at your brother, confused. “What are you talking about?” 
“She’s got a stick up her butt.” 
“Dustin!” You berate. Nancy isn’t your favorite person, but she’s always been nice to you the few times you’ve interacted. You guys used to be closer when you were younger, but high school has a way of distancing people.
“Yeah,” Lucas now speaks up. “It’s because she’s been dating that douchebag, Steve Harrington.” How the hell does Lucas even know about that? You didn’t even know about that until just now. 
“Lucas! Language!” 
“Yeah, she’s been turning into a real jerk.”
“Dustin, I swear to God-” 
The boys ignore you, which you’re honestly not surprised by. While they may like you, that doesn't mean that they listen to you. On a good day they maybe listen to you 25% of the time, but tonight was clearly not a good night. 
Mike finally cuts in, “She’s always been a real jerk.”
“Hey, she’s your sister. Give her some credit-”
Dustin is now the one who cuts you off. “Nuh-uh, only you get the sister leniency, Y/N. Nancy used to be cool, now she isn’t.” 
“Remember that time she dressed up as an elf for our Elder tree campaign?” Lucas asks, almost reminiscent. 
You shudder at the way he says it, and you shudder more when you see the dreamy look in your brother’s eyes. “Yeah, I remember…” 
“Gross,” you huff at your brother, now hopping on your own bike. 
Lucas and Dustin begin to pedal away, and you call after them to wait up. Will is still with Mike, and you promised Jonathan you’d get him home. You give the boys a bit of space, waiting a few paces ahead. Will has always been shy around Mike, something that you’ve tried not looking into too much, but to be safe you give them some privacy. 
Faintly, you hear Will say, “The Demogorgon, it got me.” 
Lights flicker a bit, but you’re too focused on the slight unease you feel by Will’s words. Before you can think too much about them, he joins you. “Race you up to Lucas and Dustin?”
“You’re on,” you tell him. 
Will beats you to the boys (which you let him do), and you’re out of breath. The four of you bike in silence for a bit until you reach Lucas’s turn into his neighborhood. 
“Good night, ladies.” He says, and you don’t need to be a psychic to know what your brother’s response is going to be.
“Kiss your mom ‘night for me.” Bless him.
You and Will giggle together, and Dustin smirks at the two of you, proud. He sits in the praise for a few moments before challenging you and Will to race home with the promise of a comic for whoever wins. 
“I call last year’s Black Cat issue of Spider-man!” You call out, already biking away from the boys. 
“We didn’t say go!”
Dustin and Will call after you as they try to catch up, and within a few seconds the three of you are speeding down the hill towards your home. You laugh gleefully, enjoying the way the wind whips through your hair and the way Dustin, though annoyed by your early start, laughs alongside you with Will. 
Somehow Will is the one who wins the race, which you’re impressed by. He may be small, but he’s surprisingly good at winning when it comes to a competition. Dustin shouts at Will that he’ll kill him, which makes you send a warning look at him. 
“I’ll take your X-Men 134!” Will retaliates, still flying through the street. 
You and Dustin are now stopped at your mailbox and you take a moment to catch your breath before shouting at Will, “Be careful, please! Stay safe!”
“I’ll be fine, I promise!” Will’s voice is distant, now a few yards away, and you stand outside for a few more seconds to watch his figure disappear into the night. Dustin has already gone inside but you wait to follow, only going inside when you can no longer see Will, hopefully home safe and sound. You feel fear creep upon you, but you chalk it up to your usual worry when it comes to the boy. 
He’ll be okay, Jonathan should be home within the hour. 
– 
The next morning you’re frantically biking to school, pissed off at Jonathan. He’s your ride every morning, or everywhere, really, and for the second time in 24 hours he’s bailed on you. Dustin left for school ages ago on his bike, so you’re thankful he doesn’t see you embarrassingly sweaty and gross as you race to school. 
It’s not that you’re pissed that Jonathan bailed again, you’re pissed because he didn’t even have the nerve to call you ahead of time to warn you. Now you have only ten minutes before the first bell rings, and your sweater clings to you uncomfortably as you sweat. 
You make it to school with a few minutes to spare, so you quickly make your way over to your locker to grab the necessary books for the day. You’re still sweaty, and you don’t want to even think about what your hair looks like right now. You look down the hall towards Jonathan’s locker, still not seeing him, and you begin to worry a bit. Maybe he overslept after last night’s shift? 
A body crashes into yours, sending your notebooks spiraling to the ground. Steve Harrington looks at you sheepishly, only saying a small “whoops!” before continuing his fast pace towards the girl’s bathroom. You scoff, now even more annoyed with your entire morning, picking up your stuff as you see Nancy enter the same bathroom a few moments later. 
“In a public school bathroom?” You mutter in disgust, collecting the last of your things and heading to class. 
You decide to give Jonathan until second period, sophomore English which the two of you share, before you freak out. You know you have a problem with over worrying about the people you love, so you try to calm yourself down. While Jonathan has never been the type to cancel without at least calling first, you reason with yourself that everyone has a bad morning. He simply slept in too late. When he wakes up, he’ll come to school and he’ll be sitting in the seat next to you in English. 
Except Jonathan isn’t in the seat next to yours when you enter the classroom an hour later. Now you officially let yourself begin to worry. Something about this doesn’t feel right. 
You’ve never skipped class before, school has always been important to you. You’re the top of your class with hopes of running away from Hawkins with Jonathan to a big city with an even bigger university. However, you don’t even hesitate to flee the classroom and find the nearest phone in the school to call the Byers’ residence. 
Jonathan answers after a few rings, and the words that leave his lips change your life forever. “Will is missing.”
You feel all the air in your lungs be knocked out of you. You can’t breathe and you sway a bit as your knees threaten to give out. This isn’t real, this can’t be happening. 
“What?”
“Will, he-he’s gone, Y/N. We can’t find him and-” 
You don’t hear whatever else Jonathan says. You struggle to get air back in your lungs. Will isn’t missing, you just saw him last night. Mere hours ago Will laughed next to you, face alive with joy, he hugged you and joked along with you. 
“He didn’t come home last night-”
“He didn’t come home?” Jonathan’s words catch your attention and you feel bile rise in your throat. Will didn’t make it home last night. You were the last one to see him, and the realization crushes you; it’s all your fault. 
“Mom and I just searched the woods, and there’s no sign of him and-” Jonathan is rambling now, his own fear and despair clear in his voice. 
“Jonathan,” you force his name out, now needing to be there for your best friend. You can worry for Will in your own time, right now Jonathan needs you. “I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.” 
“Y/N, you don’t-”
You hang up before Jonathan can argue with you and stumble towards the exit. Your limbs feel heavier than normal, and your ears are ringing. Will is missing. He’s so small, he’s scared of the dark… You left him alone in the dark. 
The bike ride to the Byers home is a blur. You don’t remember much, your body going on autopilot the second you hopped on your bike. You’re running on pure fear and adrenaline right now, too worried for your boys to focus on anything else. 
You don’t bother to knock when you arrive, instead you let yourself in. Joyce is on the phone, arguing with some woman named Cynthia. Your eyes find Jonathan’s, who is sitting on the couch hunched over something. You walk over to him and sit down beside him and your stomach lurches when you see the words “have you seen me?” he’s so neatly printed out on a piece of paper.
“Bee…” you exhale, voice cracking a bit. 
Jonathan doesn’t say anything, but you know him as well as you know yourself. He doesn’t want comforting words right now. You take his hand into yours and lean your head against his shoulder. Worry has made his muscles tense, but you feel him relax into you a bit as he rests his own head against yours. The two of you sit like that for a moment, taking in the comfort you bring each other. 
“Bitch!” Joyce slams the phone down, causing you and Jonathan to jump apart. 
“Mom,”
“What?” Joyce is a mixture of both rage and anxiety, and you feel awful looking at her. Her son is missing, you can’t imagine what she must be feeling right now.
“You have to stay calm.” Jonathan tells her, his voice firm but kind. You know it’s taking everything in him to be as stable as he is right now; he’s putting on a front for his worried mother. You squeeze his hand, hoping it conveys the support and love that you need it to.
He squeezes back, and you see Joyce finally recognize that you’re there as well. She sends you a weak wave, which you return, before she goes back to dialing and trying to reach Lonnie. Jonathan gives your hand one last squeeze and lets go, now returning back to the posters. You immediately understand that he’s doing this to distract himself, so you do the same and wordlessly help him.
You begin writing your own “have you seen me?” when Joyce once again slams her phone down. The sound makes you flinch, inadvertently messing up your writing, which you sigh at. Before you can ask Jonathan for another piece of paper, you hear a car pull up. 
Jonathan stands up to investigate, alerting his mom that the cops are here. You follow after them outside, your heart dropping when you see Will’s bike in the Chief’s hand. He ushers everyone inside, informing Joyce that he found the bike lying in the road.
“How far was it from the house?” You ask, your voice frail. 
The Chief looks at you, his nametag informs you that his name is Hopper, and raises his eyebrows. “And can I know who is asking?” 
You clear your throat, nervous under his scrutinizing gaze. “I’m Y/N Henderson. I’m close with the Byers, I biked with Will home,” your voice catches in your throat, snagging onto the guilt that has been clawing at you ever since you found out Will was missing. You clear your throat again, determined to continue. “I was with him last night. My brother and I live right off Mirkwood, a few blocks from here. He only had a few more minutes before he would’ve been home.” 
Hopper stares at you. “Mirkwood?”
“It’s where-”
“Yeah, those moron kids explained it to me. I just didn’t think someone your age would call the street that, too.” Then, as an afterthought, Hopper adds, “The bike was found a block from here.”
His words sting, but you ignore it. If the bike was found only a block from the Byers’ home, then that means that something had to have happened to Will only minutes after you last saw him. You feel the familiar churning in your stomach, wracked with guilt. 
“Did it have any blood on it?” Joyce now asks, and you’re thankful she’s taken the attention off of you. 
Jonathan sees your distress and grabs your sweater so that you fall back a bit from the cops and Joyce. “Do you need a minute?”
You can only nod, afraid that if you open your mouth you’ll either cry or throw up. He gently guides you to his room, closing the door. Once you’re alone, he wraps his arms around you and pulls you in tight. You’re shaking harder than ever now, Will’s happy and shining face from last night keeps flashing through your mind. 
You were the last one who ever saw him.
You’re the one who was last responsible for him. 
You.
“It’s not your fault,” Jonathan whispers, his voice muffled by your hair. You’ve always loved how you fit perfectly in his arms, your height difference being just enough that he always rests his chin against your head when he hugs you. 
“I’m the last person who saw him.”
“Y/N, I was the one who asked you to only bike him halfway-”
“No,” your voice comes out louder than you intend it to, and you push Jonathan away. He lets out a confused noise as you grapple at him, forcing him to look directly at you. “I should’ve been with him, Jonathan. It’s your job to support your family, and it’s my job to help you. I have to… I have to be the one who helps you.” 
You’ve always been fascinated by psychology, and you remember reading in one of the journals about codependency; the term was used in relation to addiction, specifically alcoholism, but it had caught your interest. To love someone to the extent that their actions make you feel responsible for them, to selflessly take on their burdens to a debilitating extent, well, it reminded you of your relationship with Jonathan. 
You’ve always taken on whatever Jonathan has had to deal with, ever since you were kids, and it’s always come so naturally to you. He’s never asked you to, and sometimes the extent to which you carry his weight angers him, but it’s how you love.
It’s who you are. You’re always the one who helps, it’s what you need to be able to do. If you can’t help the ones you love the most, then what good is your love for them?
Jonathan may not know about codependency, but he knows how hard you love those closest to you. “Bug, listen to me.” He grabs your face, almost aggressively, in order to cut off your rambling. “My mom, she-she’s already spiraling and I can’t… I need you. I need you to be here, with me, right now. If I lose you too, then I-I don’t know what I’ll do.”
His words cut through you like glass. He’s right, you know he’s right, and you feel another wave of guilt wash over you. This guilt is different from the guilt surrounding Will. This is mixed with shame for allowing yourself to spiral so far and forcing Jonathan to take care of you. Joyce is clearly unwell, you can’t fathom how much he’s had to deal with today. 
You gently remove Jonathan’s hands from your face and take a step back. If you’re going to help him, you need to collect yourself. From here on out, you have to be a wall for him to lean on, a shoulder to cry on, someone who will listen to him. 
“I’m sorry.” 
Jonathan shrugs at you, now allowing a hesitant smile to cross his face. “If it makes you feel any better, it took a lot less pleading to get through to you. I’m still working on my mom.” 
The joke is foul, one that should make you feel even worse than you already do, because what sixteen year old has to plead with their mother to remind her that he’s there, too? The joke is horrible, and it’s exactly what you need to find yourself laughing, and Jonathan joins. 
Codependency can be a bitch, but Jonathan understands you in ways that no one else can. 
“You think the cops are gone?” You ask, wiping away the remaining tears. 
Jonathan listens for any sign of them and shakes his head. “No, I think we’re all clear.”
He walks out the room first and you follow after him. Joyce is standing in the kitchen, staring at the counter with a far off look in her eyes. You and Jonathan look at each other and you motion for him to go talk to her. He nods, and then you motion to the living room to indicate that you’ll continue working on the missing posters. 
Carefully writing on the posters soothes you, in a way. It’s rhythmic, providing a sense of lull that you readily embrace. You faintly hear Jonathan talking with his mother, then you watch as he leads her to her bedroom and shuts the door. When he returns he sits next to you on the couch and begins to work on the posters as well. No words are needed. 
You work on the posters in silence for a few hours until it nears 3pm. Dustin will be getting out of school soon, and you have to be there for him when he’s home. While Will may be Jonathan’s brother, he’s also your brother’s best friend. You get up and head into the kitchen, long familiar now with its layout and usual contents within the fridge, and quickly prepare the ingredients for spaghetti. It’s a simple meal, but Jonathan and Joyce need to eat. Once it’s all laid out, you return to the living room and tap on your friend’s shoulder. 
“Hey, I have to head out now to check on Dustin, but I just put a pot of water on the stove along with some noodles on the counter. I also cut up some vegetables and put them in the fridge for the sauce. Start the meal whenever, I laid everything out for you.”
“Thank you, really,” Jonathan exhales, relief evident on his face. He hadn’t even thought about dinner, which you figured he wouldn’t. 
You bend down to kiss the top of his head. “Anytime, bee. I’ll call you tonight, okay?”
“Okay,” 
“Just…” you linger at the door, not fully wanting to leave him all by himself. “Be careful, please.” 
“Go, Y/N. I’ll be fine, I promise.” Jonathan reassures you.
“I’ll be fine, I promise!” Will’s voice is distant, now a few yards away, and you stand outside for a few more seconds to watch his figure disappear into the night.
It’s brief, but the flashback punches you in the gut. You close your eyes, holding onto the image of Will’s face in the moonlight last night, and when it fades you take a deep breath and force yourself to leave. 
The second you’re on your bike, pedaling away from the house, you let the sobs that have wracked against your throat all day out. It’s messy, the tears coming down your face faster than you can wipe them away. All the fear you’ve felt is now able to freely come out. It’s not the safest way to bike home, but you know that if you hold the tears in any longer you’ll collapse. You do your best to still be alert, but apparently you fail because a BMW honks at you to avoid you hitting it. 
“Fuck!” You yank your bike to the right, having no idea that you had been on the left side of the road, and topple over. The fall isn’t anything bad, but it definitely is your final straw for the day. You lay in the ditch you’ve landed in, staring at the November sky, and let the pain from your skinned knee serve as something to ground you to reality. 
“Holy shit, did I hit you?” 
Steve Harrington stands over you, a horrified look in his eyes. 
“Unfortunately not, otherwise I’d be able to sue you and get money out of it.” 
“Uh… okay?” He offers you his hand, although still very confused. “You didn’t like, happen to hit your head or anything, right?” 
You accept his help, albeit mostly because you have to, and brush yourself off when you’re up. “I’m fine. I just wasn’t paying attention, sorry.” 
Steve nods, as if you almost getting hit by his car makes perfect sense to him. When you walk over to your bike and inspect it for any damage, he follows after you. 
“So,” he whistles, trying to pretend that this is all a completely normal occurrence. “You, uh, need a ride?”
Honestly you don’t know why you’re surprised he hasn’t noticed the clear signs of you crying, your swollen eyes and red nose. Not only is he a boy, but he’s also Steve Harrington. It’s a miracle he even stopped to make sure you weren’t dead. 
“No,” you say, now repositioning your backpack so that you can get back on your bike. “Thanks anyways, Harrington.” 
Steve continues to follow you, even after you’ve started to pedal away. “You’re welcome, random girl I almost hit!”
You’re a bit further now, and you still feel like utter shit, but his words somehow make you laugh a bit. For a brief moment, you forget about everything, so you call behind, “It’s Henderson!” 
“That’s an odd first name!” The boy shouts after you, still following from a distance. 
“Y/N Henderson!” You’re fully yelling now, a good yard away, but you can tell that Steve hears you based on the way he begins to wave eagerly, finally stopping next to his car. Faintly you understand the boyish charm that makes him so loved by all the girls in the school; you understand why Nancy Wheeler has fallen for him.
“Bye, Y/N!” It’s faint, but you swear you can hear a smile in his voice.  
The good mood that Steve Harrington inexplicably puts you in vanishes when you near your house. Nothing has changed, yet it feels as if something has shifted. Will had been here only hours ago. You spot Dustin’s bike laying on the grass, haphazardly thrown as usual. 
Dustin is just taking off his coat when you enter, immediately running over to him to pull him into a bone crushing hug. 
“Y/N!” he squeaks in surprise. 
“Are you okay?” You know you’re squeezing your brother harder than you need to, but God. He’s safe, in your arms, and you’ve now learned that not everyone can say the same about their own loved ones. 
Dustin wiggles a bit, trying to break away from the hug, but you only pull him in tighter. “Geesh, no one died.” 
Normally you’d berate him, but you embrace his snarky comments. They’re what make Dustin so unique, his humor one of your favorite parts of him
When you don’t respond, Dustin stops wiggling around and finally accepts the situation. “I love ya too, sis.” 
You giggle a bit, now pulling away. “At least mom isn’t home right now. The minute she hears about what’s happened, we’ll be on lockdown.”
Dustin’s eyes widen. “Shit, you’re right.” 
“Lan-”
“Language, I know.”
You ruffle his hair, now feeling a bit better. Dustin is still Dustin, so maybe everything will be okay. You and your brother go into the kitchen for your post school snack, and you call your boss to inform her that you can’t make it to your shift. The words “family emergency” catch in your throat a bit, and Mrs. Waters is kind enough not to push it.
Dustin catches you up on his day, informing you about Hopper questioning him and the other boys. 
You scrunch your nose at that. “Is that even legal?”
“Unsure, but it was awesome.”
“Will went missing, Dustin. It isn’t ‘awesome’.”
Dustin tilts his head at you. “Well, I bet Will is going to have a blast hearing everything when we find him.” 
His words are so matter of fact, as if he already knows that Will will be found after all. His naivety worries you a bit, but you also can’t help but indulge in his hope as well. Then you think about what he’s just said. “Wait, who’s ‘we’?”
Your brother pretends he can't hear you, miming at his ears. “Dustin-”
“What?”
“Dustin, you and the boys can’t just-”
“I can’t hear you!” He’s running to his room now with you quick behind his heels. 
“Dustin, I swear to God-”
“I gotta do homework, Y/N, bye!” He slams the door in your face. 
You sigh. There’s no getting through to him, years of being Dustin’s older sister has taught you that, so you go into your room instead. You might as well get started on the assignments you missed today, and you have a huge chem test tomorrow, so you’ll focus on that and keep an ear out for Dustin. Whatever he’s planning with the boys, you won’t let them do it alone. 
After a couple hours of silence from Dustin’s room, you decide to call Jonathan. The line rings for a while with no answer, and eventually you give up. It makes sense that he’s not answering, he’s had a long day. You hope he’s asleep, but you know him better than that. He’s probably holed up in his room, trying to distract himself like you are right now. 
A loud thud from Dustin’s room breaks you from your thoughts. Then you hear a quiet “shhh!” that sounds suspiciously like Lucas, and you immediately throw on your shoes and a jacket and march outside. 
Dustin is halfway out of his window when you arrive, and Mike and Lucas stare at you, caught red handed. 
“Guys, I think she can hear us.” Your brother says, breaking the silence. Mike scoffs at him and Lucas groans. 
You eye the three of them, unamused. “Your best friend just went missing, what the hell are you guys doing out here so late and alone?”
Dustin awkwardly finishes his descent down, finally landing on his feet with a thud. He secures his hat back on his head and goes to grab his bike. You block his path. 
“I’m serious, one of you needs to start talking, now.” 
Lucas and Dustin look at Mike, who is their unofficial leader of the gang, and he huffs. “Look, Y/N, I like you-”
“How thrilling.” You say, voice monotone. 
The boy ignores you and continues to talk. “But Will is missing, and we aren’t just going to sit around and wait. He’s our friend, we have to do something.” 
You open your mouth to speak, but Lucas interrupts you. “You’re definitely our favorite sister in the group, so you’d be even cooler if you let us go.” 
Again, you try to respond, but this time Dustin beats you to it. “Yeah, you’re like, totally cool already. If you pretend that you never saw us, that’d be great.” 
“Guys-”
“And don’t give us a whole lecture about safety. That’s all bull.” Mike says. 
“Boys!” You scream. They all fall silent, not used to you ever raising your voice at them. You’ve only ever yelled at them once or twice, preferring to be the “cool” sister whenever you can, but right now they’re seriously pissing you off. 
“Let me speak.” When no one says anything, you continue. “I’m not going to stop you guys from looking for Will. In fact, I support it-”
“You do?”
You shoot Mike a death glare, which promptly shuts him up. “Yes, I do. However, I’m not letting you guys go alone.” 
The boys all groan at this, acting as if it’s the worst thing in the world to have you tag along with them. You ignore their complaining and head over to where your bike sits against the porch. You zip up your coat, the chill from the night making you shiver a bit. 
“No arguing, or I’ll call all your moms. Ours included, Dustin.”
“Why me?”
“Look, guys. I’m proud of you for stepping up, but I’m coming with. The last time I let one of you boys go off into the woods alone…” 
The boys shift uncomfortably now, realizing how heavy the guilt weighs upon you. After a few beats of silence, Mike finally gives in. 
“Fine,” he says, pointing a finger at you. “But the second you start to freak out, you’re gone.” 
You salute Mike, hopping on your bike as you all begin to bike away. The ride doesn’t take long, since you live just off of where Will was last seen. Thunder rumbles when you all approach the crime scene, and you shudder a bit. 
“It’s going to rain, guys.” You inform them. 
Dustin looks up at the sky with uncertainty. “I think maybe we should go back.”
Mike is quick to shut down the idea, urging the others to keep going. You admire his loyalty to Will, and you figure it’s why the two of you butt heads so often. Out of the entire group, you’re the most similar to him. 
Lucas and Mike go under the caution tape first, and Dustin hangs back. You place a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “We can go back, you know.” 
He clenches his jaw, jutting his chin out a bit. “No, Will needs us.”
Your brother puffs out his chest and follows after his friends, leaving you to take up the rear. More thunder rumbles and the rain begins to come down. You flip your hood up, thankful you remembered to grab a hoodie when leaving. 
Mike guides the way with his flashlight, then Lucas, then Dustin, then you in the back. You make sure to keep your eyes on the three boys, scared that the second you look away they’ll be gone. The woods have always creeped you out, but you push your fear down to keep them safe. 
“Will!” Mike calls out, the rain now pouring down on you guys. 
“Byers!” 
“Will, little bee!” You call out as well. He never liked when you called him that in front of the others, but tonight was an exception. 
“I’ve got your X-Men 134!” Your brother bribes, unintentionally making you laugh a bit. If Will is nearby, he’ll surely come out to claim his prize. 
Your foot catches on a tree log, and you slip in the mud before just barely managing to catch yourself. It’s getting hard to see given how dark it is and the rain surrounding you. Dustin voices his concerns, only to be called a baby, and you bite your tongue. If you defend him, he’ll only look more like a baby to his friends. 
“I’m just being realistic!” He retaliates, which you commend him for. 
“Dustin’s right, guys. It’s getting really bad out here. We’re surrounded by a ton of trees, don’t they attract lightning?” You ask, now paranoid that you’ll be struck down any second. 
“You guys are being sissies.” Lucas taunts, annoyed as well. 
You try to argue, but Dustin voices a thought that’s been at the back of your mind. “Did you ever think Will went missing because he ran into something bad?”
You think back to how Hopper seemed worried when he investigated the Byers home. From what you can recall, he suspected that Will had been running away from something, explaining why he’d abandon his bike.
“And now we’re going to the exact same spot where he was last seen, and we have no weapons or anything?”
Maybe Dustin’s right. This definitely wasn’t your best idea, and you’re regretting letting them follow through with their plan. For someone who claims to want to keep their loved ones safe, you really suck at it. 
“Dustin, shut up.” Mike voices, though he now looks a bit concerned as well. 
“He’s right, Mike.” You speak up, stumbling a bit in more mud. Your shoes are definitely ruined, now. “I was at Jonathan’s when Hopper showed up, he thinks Will was running from something.” 
The boys go quiet now, and when you’re about to suggest going home, you hear rustling in the bushes. 
“Did you guys hear that?” Mike asks. 
Your heart stops as the rustling continues and you all start to twist and turn, looking for the source of the sound. The rustling gets louder, almost as if it’s getting closer, and you tighten your hand around your flashlight, ready to use it as a weapon just in case. 
Then, the light flashes upon a little girl, drenched in an oversized yellow shirt, shivering. Her head is shaved, but her small stature suggests to you that she is indeed a girl. You all stare at her, no one saying a thing. She stares back, a terrified look on her face that breaks your heart. 
“Holy shit,” you whisper. 
Her eyes land on you; something about her reminds you of Will, and  you know that nothing will be the same again.
-
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judebellvngham · 10 months
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HOW WELL DO YOU KNOW ME? , jude/jobe b.
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summary: you, jude and jobe do the water dunk question trend on tik tok.
pairings: jude bellingham x fem!reader (platonic!) jobe bellingham x fem!reader (platonic!)
warnings: don’t really know 👎👎
notes: @hummusxx made a post about how there is no siblings with jude and jobe imagines and i literally have been thinking about it non-stop because i feel like they would just be so chaotic so i wanted to write this 😭
thought this was just a cute little short imagine.
“so we are doing the dunking challenge thingy, but with both of my brothers!” you say very excited behind jude because you finally got them to a do a tik tok with you. jude sat in the chair behind the bowl of ice water, while jobe was off to the side.
“so what? you ask a question and dunk my head in?”
“if you don’t answer or get it wrong then she does it.” jobe answered for you sitting down right next to you peaking the side of his head to the camera, and you laughed at his shyness.
“why did i agree to this?”
you let out a small laugh before thinking of your first question, jude looking at the camera with pursed lips and a hint of determination on his face.
“okay, starting easy for you- what is my favorite show at the moment?” you say grabbing on to the back of head laughing as you do so.
jude scrunched up his face, his forehead curled as he thought about it. as he took longer to answer you started to push his head down closer to the water but he was forcing his head back up.
“wait-wait” he laughed out as you pushed his head down further almost touching the ice cold water. “that one show- fuck what is it called?”
jobe was on the side snickering watching this whole thing. “that one show?” you laughed pushing his head all the way down into the water practically drowning him and he pulled himself out water dripping from the top of his hair and his face.
he let out a breathy laugh getting up from the chair, “it’s queen charlotte, you didn’t give me enough time to think.” he shook his head at you.
“think quicker?”
you now sat in the chair with jobe standing behind you getting ready to question you next. you left out a heavy sigh trying to get ready for any question jobe was going to ask.
“what made me get grounded for almost a year?” jobe asked and you jumped up immediately to answer.
“you broke the tv because you were playing footie inside after mum told you not to.” you answered quickly jumping out of the chair quickly out of excitement. jobe shook his head at you moving back out of the frame of the camera, him and jude switching positions.
“i swear i’ve never seen jobe more scared in my life, mum went absolutely mad.”
“that was too easy jobe- you’ve got to hit her harder..” jude said grabbing you by the shoulders sitting you back down, his face full of determination. he grabbed you by your ponytail making you jerk backwards out of instinct.
“jude!” he only ignored your call.
“what was the DAY did i score my first international goal for england?” you instantly started to shake your head knowing good and well you did not remember this. you only remembered who was against not the exact date- and jude knew you wouldn’t.
“it was sometime in november.. yeah i don’t know just do it. ” you said accepting your fate- jude laughed gripping your hair pushing your head all the down into the bowl the cold water numbing your face. you squealed into the water before he pulled you back up.
“now this is fun.”
“for fucks sake jude” you laughed wiping your dripping face. jobe hunched over still practically dying know over this game. “you knew i wasn’t gonna get that.”
“yeah that was just for shits and giggles” he snickering going off camera.
“jobe stop laughing and sit your ass down.”
jobe glared at you, sitting down in the chair like you asked.
“who is my favorite footballer?” you say between laughs, and jobe smiles his eyes eyes crinkling. jude moved closer, his interest suddenly peaked because if it was anyone other than himself he was going to go mad.
jobe looked at jude snickering at his face. “bukayo…” he sounded unsure answering but he knew it was right because you let go of his head.
“seriously?” jude looked up at you with a look of disbelief.
you pursed your lips giving him an awkward glance, “you are a close second don’t worry!”
“you hear this madness? likes my mate more than me.. just mad.” jude says to the camera shaking his head.
now jude sat with jobe standing behind him, you taking this as your chance to think of new questions that would throw them off.
jobe let out a sigh grabbing onto jude’s head before asking his question, “what was my favorite school subject?”
jude looked around as if the answer was flying in the air, and to be fair you didn’t even know this answer so you just sat quietly to the side.
“was it maths? you liked that didn’t you?” jude was completely unconfident about his answer genuinely not knowing.
jobe threw his head back at his answer, “bro what? you must think i’m miserable” jobe laughed before dunking jude’s head a lot less hard than what you did.
you laughed as well because who’s favorite subject would be math?
“jude you are terrible.” you exclaimed as he walked away to grab a towel obviously fed up at this game.
“okay we are back!” you clapped back in the chair. jude holding on to your neck this time moving your head side to side.
“you have a flimsy neck, like? what is up with this” he started to shake ur neck more aggressively but immediately stopped when you popped him on his hand. jude could be so annoying.
“jude i swear to queen lizzie i’m gonna kill you.”
jude laughed thinking of a question to ask, “what is my favorite food?” you squinted your eyes putting your finger on your lip thinking hard for a moment.
“um i mean you like pasta?” jude’s grasp on your neck loosened thinking about whether or not he should give it to you, because technically it wasn’t wrong.
“i mean like, sure i guess i honestly don’t even think i have one- just food innit” jude said while you roll your eyes at him.
“then why would you ask silly?”
he only shrugged him and jobe switching positions you still sitting in the chair. “my feet are tingling guys” you say to the camera and jobe gives you a weird look.
“okay, how many years was i at birm city?” jobe asked and for some reason your mind just went completely blank trying to do the math in your head.
“come on you should know this y/n” jobe said to you grabbing the back of your head bobbing back and forth to tease you.
obviously you took way too long because next thing you knew your head was being submersed into the ice cold water. you jumped at the action catching you so off guard. “what the fuck” you said as your head hovered over the water. both jobe and jude laughing at you.
jobe pushed you on the side of your head, “11 years.”
“oh.. i was gonna say 8 i’m not gonna lie.”
“what an idiot”
the water was now all over the kitchen table and you were sure that he had gotten in your phone.
as jobe sat down you hovered your hands around his neck making it seem like you wanted to choke him not remembering you could see him.
“i see you y/n.” he said pointing at your phone that was recording.
“sorry, intrusive thoughts”
“okay um! what was the name of my first pet?” you asked with a smile, jude on the side looking at you like you were stupid.
“your first pet? it was all of ours..” jude said off to the side and you snapped your head towards him.
“was i asking you?”
no response.
“okay then shut up” you say turning back to jobe who was hiding his face laughing.
“i swear your just so mean.”
you ignored jude, “okay what was it?”
jobe squinted, “it was that dumb looking turtle, man was so miserable with us.” and the whole room just went silent at that because how could he say that about the late turtle.
“okay first off all.” you started giving a fake attitude. “he wasn’t dumb, and second.” you took both of your hands to the back of his head pushing it all the to the bottom of the bowl with force, until he came back up gasping for air.
“bro” jobe coughed into the bowl making you make a face of disgust.
“are you okay?” you asked awkwardly.
“oh shut up” jobe said getting up from the chair letting jude sit.
“okay! jude you ready?” you asked and jude shook his head mouthing a ‘help me’ to the camera. you hit him upside the head and he sat up straight.
“i’m ready.”
you laugh to yourself covering your mouth getting ready to ask your question, one you knew was going to be hilarious.
“okay, when- what is my boyfriends name?” and jobe snorted right next to you making you throw your head down into jude’s shoulder laughing.
“like you could get a boyfriend.” jude said making you snap your head back up, your mouth touching the floor.
“what the hell does that mean?”
jobe had is head down on the counter on the verge of tears from laughing so hard.
“you have a boyfriend?” jobe questioned through laughs making your jaw drop even further.
“you guys literally met him not too long ago.”
jude and jobe looked at each other, kind of communicating with their eyes until they could remember what the hell you were talking about.
then all of a sudden they both started laughing like mad men, jobe clutching his stomach with one hand and the other covering his eyes.
jude was literally banging his hand on the table trying to gather himself.. “wait- wait- you mean that central cee looking wannabe guy?”
this made jobe go even more hysteric. and you just looked at them in disbelief.
“his name is-” you started before you were interrupted.
“no no we don’t care, jesus y/n you can do better than that geez.” jude said and you rolled your eyes at him.
“you know what” you walked in front of jude grabbing the bowl of ice cold water and before either of the could stop you, you poured the bowl on top of his head, some of it landing on jobe.
you laughed as they gasped in shock, jude’s body curled up from the cold cursing at you. jude got up and gave you a look that you knew to run from.
as you took off and jude started chasing you, jobe grabbed your wet phone from the table giving an uncomfortable smile to the camera.
“i think i won this challenge.”
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ohtobeleah · 4 months
Text
Was It Over? // Jake Seresin
-> Chapter Seven: [Faucet Failure]
Summary: Jake makes his way back to you after finding out the truth. While under sedation to give your brain some rest, you remember the good times and the bad with your husband.
Warnings: Sick!reader. Breast cancer diagnosis. Jake Seresin x F!reader. Angst, hospital & medical inaccuracies. SLOW BURN ROMANCE/ Inaccurate medical information. Relationship turmoil.
Word Count: 4.6K
Author Note: These chapters keep getting more and more heartbreaking. I can’t even deal. Why did you guys let me do this to y’all?
Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist
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November 22nd
The dim glow of your TV was the only thing in the house that was giving your home any sort of light. The kids had all gone down well, both Lucy and Lennox had swimming practice after school which meant that they were down and out for the count before you even got from their beds back to the door. Sam was easy to get to sleep, he always had been. He was just a naturally sleepy kid. 
The gentle knock against your front door startled you, but didn’t shock you. You knew exactly who it was. It was the same guy who'd given you a tissue to dry your tears, the same guy who sat beside you and kept you company during one of your lowest moments. It was the guy that had turned an overly depressing core memory into one that showed a little humanity, sympathy and understanding. 
“Happy Birthday!” Jensen cooed as he stood at your door with a plastic bag full of Chinese takeout containers full to the very brim. “I didn't know what you liked so I think I got one of everything.” You stood at the threshold of your home just staring at the man who was on your doorstep, who’d insisted on buying you dinner. When you had informed him of your three children, Jensen said he’d have it delivered.
But he didn't specify who’d be delivering it…..
“I hope you weren't expecting a tip.” You smiled as you let Jensen into your home, the unimaginable amount of scattered children's shoes made it look like you were raising a family of caterpillars, but Jensen didn't mind the mess. He understood, his sister had two little girls around about the same age as Lucy and Lennox. 
“But I brought you cheesecake as well?” Jensen smiled back at you in the darkness of the dimly lit hallway. “Can’t have a birthday without cake.” 
“I don't even remember the last time someone brought me any form of cake.” You sighed as you politely took the cheesecake in its cake box. Jensen frowned in response as he watched you hit the light switch in the hallway that led to the kitchen. 
“Didn't your husband ever buy you a birthday cake?” He called out as he followed you deeper into your humble abode. It was a simple question that carried far too much weight than you were ready to truly unpack. You'd told Jensen in one of your many conversations since you first met about how you and Jake were separated due to circumstances that weren’t fair to either one of you. Jensen never pressed for more information than you were willing to give. 
“He used to.” You shrugged. “I can't remember the year he stopped, hell–I can't really even pinpoint when he stopped caring but eventually he did and soon enough my birthday just became another day.” It was hard to admit, but Jensen made opening up about your marital struggles easy, you never really confided in anyone about any of it. He had a non-biased opinion. “But I loved Jake, I still do, at the time I guess I didn't care that I was getting a fraction of what I deserved because a fraction of him was better than nothing at all.” The tears were there, they were ready to spill over your lower last line. But you never let them fall as Jensen sat down at your kitchen bench and opened up the bag of chinese food. “But it all got too much– or too little, I suppose.” 
“Have you told him about the cancer yet?” Jensen asked softly, he wasn't pressing, he was just asking. 
“I still dont think I’m going to–he probably wouldn't care, I mean he forgot my birthday.” Again you shrugged it off like it was no big deal. “I highly doubt he’d care about some cancer diagnosis.” 
“Are you sure he wouldn't care? Or have you just convinced yourself he wouldn't because it hurts less to believe he doesn't care than it does to believe he does?” When you answered Jensen's heart sank. He saw the tears in your eyes, the look of heartbreak that reflected from your very soul. The longingness in your expression. He saw right through the wall you tried so hard to protect yourself with. He saw it all. Which is why when your voice cracked and your support beams held together by caffeine and your need to keep a normal routine for your children in place, faltered, Jensen sighed. 
“It didn't take much convincing–”
“Y/n–”
“How was Chemo today?” You tried your best to change the subject as you grabbed some cutlery. The chair beside Jensen at your kitchen counter looked awfully comfortable. 
“Consider my follicles fried.” Jensen chuckled as you handed him a spoon. “Now don't change the subject, we’re talking about you and this husband of yours, who, I'm convinced, is a few screws short of a hardware store.” 
“Oh yeah? Why's that?” You weren't sure if you wanted to know, but what you did know was that Jake wasn’t here. He’d sent you a message earlier in the day but you were yet to respond. You felt that if you replied it would open a floodgate of vulnerability. But soon enough Jensens words had you in a freefall of wondering if it was truly over between you and Jake–
“Because I don't think anyone who's lucky enough to love you would ever put themselves in a position to lose you.” 
Or not. 
***~***~***~**~***~
“Look left for me?” Doctor Ignatii spoke as he shined his little pen light in your eyes. “And right?” You did as you were told although you just wanted to be left alone. “Count to five for me?” You almost rolled your eyes as Doctor Ignatii stepped away and walked closer to your feet. 
“One, two, three, four, five.” You slowly counted. “Do I get a gold star?” Doctor Ignatii didn’t take your foul attitude to heart, he dealt with people like you every day—over the years you tend to develop pretty thick skin. 
“Possibly, if you can wiggle your toes and touch your nose?” He asked through a smile as he began to feel your feet. “Wiggle please Mrs Seresin.” 
“This better not be my audition tape for the Madden Brothers Circus.” You didn’t mean to take your hostility out on the doctor who had saved your life, but there was a small part of you that wished he would have just let the blood clot do its damage. You did what you were told once more and wiggled your toes and touched your nose. “Look at me go.”
“Well—“ Doctor Ignatii chuckled to himself as he filled out your charts on his iPad. “You don’t seem to be showing any immediate deficits post surgery, I’d like to give your brain a chance to rest for another ten to twelve hours before we get you out of bed for a little bit of a walk.” You listened to what your doctor was saying as your mother came back into the room, you didn’t know it but Jake had just landed and was heading right over. 
“Does that mean I get more of these awesome drugs?” You asked playfully, your mother even swore you were flirting. Doctor Ignatii was very handsome with brown hair and dark skin. He smiled at your forwardness but nodded in response. He was also used to this. 
“We’ll give you another sedative to make sure you're able to rest, you’ll probably feel like you got hit by a bus when you wake up but it’ll give us a clearer indication if you’ll face any deficits going forward.” 
“You reckon breast cancer’s a deficit?” You couldn't stop thinking about the dream you had about Jake. it felt so real, like your own personal rolodex of memories was trying its best to show you the good times. For whatever reason that may be you had no idea, but, you really had to ground yourself in your own reality. Jake wasn't the Jake from your memories anymore, although you desperately wished he was. He was now the Jake who couldn't remember your birthday or to fill your Christmas stocking on Christmas. He was the guy who let you peel your own oranges after he’d done it for so many years. 
He was the guy who had fallen out of love with you. 
“I do, but your double mastectomy has been rescheduled for Christmas Eve. So what better way to wake up on Christmas morning knowing your chance of kicking cancer's ass just went up by thirty five percent?” It was your turn to smile at Doctor Ignatii as he ended the conversation about your cancer at that. “I’ll send in a nurse to admit the sedative, mum? She’ll be out for a minimum of ten hours while on the IV, you should take the time to get some rest too.” 
“Sure thing Doc.” Your mother answered as she watched him walk away. “Were you flirting with that man?” 
“No harm, he’s seen the inside of my brain, can’t get more intimate then that can you?” You were probably putting on a braver face then you felt but your mother could tell you were nervous about the sedative.. 
“I’ll stay with you for the entire time you're sleeping.” She cooed as she pushed your hair behind your hair. She noticed how stands fell almost with the gust of her fingertip. The chemo was killing your hair follicles. “You won’t be alone.” 
“Thanks.” Was all you said as Lydia came into your room ready to set your IV drop up. “I hope you’ve done this before, kid.” 
“Absolutely Mrs Seresin.” Lydia chuckled, she felt a lot better after a full eight hours of sleep. “I’ll just get this sorted and you’ll be good to go.” As Lydia set up your IV, you had just rough energy to send one message to a dear friend you thought should know about your current state. Your mother watched as you typed out a really quick message with one hand. 
You: “Had a stroke, in hospital, surgery rescheduled.” 
“Promise you’ll stay?” You asked your mum one more time as you saw her reading a text. A text from your ex husband telling her he was about twenty minutes away and running off the five hours of sleep he got before his world got flipped on its head. 
“You’re not going be alone sweetheart.” Your mother answered rather cryptically. As your eyelids grew heavier and heavier. “You’re not gonna be alone.” 
***~***~***~**~***~
“I'm here.” Jake had taken the next flight back to Rhode Island that he could, he didn't have time to waste when it came to getting back to you. He was tired, emotionally exhausted from everything he had learnt of your condition and dishevelled beyond belief. He was sure someone threw a dollar down at him while he was sitting on the floor at the airport next to a charging port. He looked so distressed and dishevelled that someone thought he was homeless. 
He kept that dollar though. 
“Okay, ask the main reception to point you in the direction of oncology and we’re in room 306.” Your mother replied over the phone, Jake had called her about fifteen minutes after you had been administered your sedative. 
Jake felt his heart in the back of his throat as he took the elevator up to the level the lady at the reception desk in the main lobby of the Rhode Island hospital had told him to go to. Oncology equals cancer, you had cancer, breast cancer, you had a stroke, strokes can kill you, cancer can kill you. 
Jake had thought about nothing else since he got on his flight, the idea that you were sick, that you were so sick you couldn't even tell him broke his heart more than you leaving him ever could. There was once a time where Jake thought you could tell him anything, that you were able to come to him with any problem you had or were facing. 
He couldn't pinpoint exactly when you stopped telling him things, or more importantly when he’d stopped listening. Jake couldn't help but to blame himself for feeling like he’d somewhat put you into this situation where you felt like you couldn't rely on him to step up when you needed him to. You were sick and you needed support, he was supposed to be that support, but instead you kept him in the dark like he didn't deserve to know you were ill. 
Maybe he didn't deserve to know, but either way Jake was walking towards room 306 where your mother had told him to go. He brought his duffel with him, Jake made no plans to leave your bedside for the duration of your stay. However long that may be, he was gonna be by your side. 
And the second he got to the threshold of your hospital room, Jake Seresin forgot what it was like to be able to breathe on his own accord. 
“Oh Honey.” He cooed as his bottom lip quivered, your Mother tried her best to remain a strong presence but at the sight of Jake crumbling under the weight of the idea he’d lose you twice over made her eyes water. “Oh my sweet girl.” 
***~***~***~**~***~
“Jake!” You shouted out throughout the house as Lucy and Lenny watched over baby Sam as they ate lunch in the living room.“Jake!” 
“What?” Jake called back to you from the back deck where he was busy doing absolutely nothing but enjoying a beer with his feet up and his sunglasses on. He just needed twenty minutes. Sam had been a handful today and ever since Jake got home he’d wanted nothing more than to use his body as a jungle gym. 
“The faucet in the ensuite won’t stop leaking, can you please tighten it before you get too comfortable.” You asked as politely as you could with a soft smile. 
“Sure, yeah I’ll put it on the list.” Jake shrugged your request off like it was nothing but another chore you were commanding him to do. When Jake didn’t budge, you crossed your arms over your chest and pressed the issue further. 
“It’s just that I’m trying to work on my new book and I can’t concentrate with the dripping.” You were in the middle of your latest project. A new book proposal your editors were waiting on. 
“I said I’d get to it Hon, just—why don’t you try writing somewhere else besides your desk? Or better yet, shut the ensuite door?” Jake couldn’t see the rage burning in your eyes when he told you to basically deal with it until he could be arsed to get up. 
“Jake please?” You begged, it wasn’t the first time you’d asked Jake to fix the leaky faucet but it would be the last. It was one the few final straws that broke your back before you decided enough was enough and you couldn’t stay in your marriage any longer. “I need you to do this one thing for me so I can work in peace.” 
“If it’s so important that it needs to be fixed right this second Hon just fix it yourself?” Jake argued back as he took a sip of his beer, it had been a long week for him and he needed a moment to relax. “You know how to fix a leak.” 
“I already tried!” You shouted back loud enough to finally have Jake taking his glasses off to look at you properly. “I’m trying to work, I’ve had the kids all week and I need to get these last few chapters done before next Friday and you go back to work on Monday.” You saw the look Jake gave you, one of annoyance and frustration, like you were some kind of parasite trying to ruin his day off to relax and enjoy some rest and rejuvenation before Monday rolled around again. 
“Honey if you let me sit here for twenty minutes I will fix the fucking leak for you.” He tried to hide his disdain but you could read it through the lines on his face. “I’m not sure why you can’t just write somewhere where you can’t fucking hear it but I’ll fix it the minute I’m done drinking my beer.” 
“Alright.” You pressed your lips together and tried not to let your anger boil over. “Alright I can live with that.”
“Hallelujah, she can live with compromise.” Jake sassed as he took another sip of his beer. You chose not to respond as you headed back inside the home you both shared with a feeling of under appreciated value looming over your head. What did Jake mean by compromise? You did so much and more for him, why was it such an issue that you’d asked him to fix a faucet. 
He never did get around to fixing it like he said he would. Twenty minutes turned to two hours, which turned to two days, months and eventually It was only when the both of you decided to sell the property when you said you were leaving, that he noticed the leak was never fixed. 
You never did finish that draft, the book that remained unpublished and half finished. You kept the google doc on your laptop and sometimes you thought about picking the project back up. But you never did, you never had time to, not while you were on the cusp of divorce and raising three children all on your own. 
“I uh—I fixed the faucet.” Jake sheepishly told you as he made his way into the kitchen to see you packing plates and bowls and cutlery into moving boxes. 
“The faucet I asked you to fix back in October?” You replied harshly while trying not to look at the man who forgot where you should have been on his priority list. “Glad I compromised on that one for this long.” You hissed, it had only been four days since you told Jake you were leaving, that you were moving back into your mothers place with the kids until you found somewhere to live. 
“Honey—“ 
“Please don’t call me that.” You asked rather simply as Jake's heart broke before you. He was losing his wife, his kids and didn’t know how to fix what he’d unintentionally broken. 
“Don’t go, we can fix this, I don’t want you to go.” 
“Well unfortunately this isn’t about you Jake.” You tried to keep your voice down so that you wouldn’t alert the kids to your argument. If there was one thing you weren’t going to do it was fight in front of your children and subject them to that environment. “Tell me, it’s January right now isn’t it?”
“Yeah?” Jake wasn’t sure what you were getting at as he watched you pack the boxes of things you were taking with you. 
“When’s my birthday?” You asked like he should have known that answer off the top of his head, because he should have and he did. 
“Novem—oh fuck Y/n no hold on a minute.” Jake couldn’t find the words he wanted to say at that moment, how could he forget your birthday? He missed it entirely and you said not a single thing about it. 
“My stocking was the only one empty at Christmas, not a single present under the tree was mine, you know why that is? It’s because for four years I’ve brought my own damn presents and gotten my own fucking birthdays cake, you don’t give a shit about fixing a goddamn fosset so I can focus on work let alone the little things.” You hissed before you tried to calm yourself down and get back to packing. Jake just stood there speechless looking like he hadn’t slept a wink in days. He hadn’t, not since you told him you were done and that you needed a break. 
“I can fix this, please.” Jake was begging you to stay, he didn’t want to lose the one person who meant more to him than life itself. “Just don’t leave me.” 
“There isn’t enough room for me in your life Jake, and instead of being selfish and trying to change you I’d rather let you go to be yourself. People change.” You shrugged. Staying now would have killed you, Jake felt you slipping through his fingers in real time as he watched you wrap up the mugs you were taking in old newspaper. “I sure never thought the man I married would change into someone I don’t even know.” 
***~***~***~**~***~
Jake was at a loss for words when he stepped into your hospital room. The Christmas lights that shimmered around the room were a stark contrast to the plethora of machines that were scattered around your bedside.
“I thought since she’s sleeping the blinds should be shut.” Jake could just barely make out what your mother had told him as she rose to greet him with open arms. He couldn’t peel his eyes off you for even a second as the woman who had become his second mother took him in a warm loving embrace. “She’ll be out for a while sweetheart, they gave her a sedative to help her brain rest.” 
“How long?” Jake asked as he held your mother tight. 
“About ten—maybe twelve hours, she only just started the drip.” 
“Oh—okay, yeah no that.” Jake tried to hold himself together but the damn was breaking. “That’s probably for the b-bet—oh god.” Jake Seresin had never felt his entire body crumbled into someone the way he felt his body crumble into your mothers arms. 
“Oh my boy it’s alright, she’s alive, she’s gonna be okay.” Your mother tried her best to soothe Jake's cries but she knew it was coming from a place of love and undeniable sadness. “Here, sit down, I’ll go get you a coffee and something to eat.” 
Jake took a seat next to your bedside and immediately reached out for your hand. He knew you were under and wouldn’t know he was there but he still brought your palm up to his lips and pressed a gentle kiss to your hand. 
“Oh Honey I’m so sorry this is happening to you.” He sobbed quietly as your mother stood behind him. “I’m so sorry I didn’t know.” 
“She hasn’t told anyone but me Jake, not her friends or her brother.” It was hard to process the sight before him, the love of Jake's life surrounded by machines, hooked by cords and wires and monitors that told him although your eyes were closed you were in fact, alive. “I don’t think she wanted you to know because she’s just so scared despite how she might put on a brave face.” 
“Or she thought I wouldn’t care.” Jake mumbled as he reached out to make sure your hair was resting behind your ear, part of your head had been shaved from surgery, but Jake never expected the hair he tried to move back behind your ear to fall out at his touch. “Oh my god—“
“She’s been on oral chemotherapy since her biopsy came back cancerous, she needed you to take the kids so she could start more aggressive IV chemo.” 
“Her hair’s already falling out?” Jake had never felt this way before, so rendered powerless. He’d taken a life before and saved many, but watching you right now was the most powerless he’d ever felt. Jake caught the sight of your phone flashing with a new message with a name he didn't recognise. There was no time to ask you about the message he saw, but jake knew maybe, just maybe, you had lied when you told him there was no other guy. 
Jensen: “Oh shit, I'll swing by once I'm out of the woods.”
“Aggressive cancer needs aggressive treatment sweetheart.” Your mother leaned in to kiss the top of Jake's head. “I’ll be back, coffee and a sandwich will do you good.” 
“Thanks Maz.” Jake sighed as he kept your hand up near his mouth as he leaned his elbows on the side of your bed. “Oh Honey, Honey, Honey—what have we become?”
***~***~***~***~***~***
Your honeymoon was the most beautiful trip you’d ever gone on. Jake Seresin was very much a summer man. He loved when the sun was shining and the water was cool and the beers were as refreshing as they ever could be. 
The resort in Bali that the two of you were staying at for the entire two weeks was nothing but picturesque with stunningly gorgeous gardens and extraordinary architecture. The pool you were sitting on the edge of was just one of the many pools that you and Jake had yet to visit. He stood on the ledge of the rock waterfall and smiled ear to ear. 
“I’m not resuscitating you when you slip and hit your head!” You called out through a beaming smile. 
“Reckon I could clear a backflip?” Jake asked childishly as he climbed to the very top. His abs looked far too perfect to be real as he stood tall and flexed just for you, his wife. 
“Jake Seresin, don't you dare!” You warned as you looked over your sunglasses at your childish husband. He was everything any more, how you got so lucky you'd never understand. The two of you had decided on a small elopement style wedding that saw only a handful of your closest family members in attendance. The both of you saw no need for over the top extremities and thoughts of dollars spent on a single night. You thought why not use the money on a holiday getaway, your dream honeymoon. After Rodney had gone on his happiness never ends tangent, Jake wished the two of you had just gone down to town hall. 
“Live a little Mrs Seresin!” Jake shouted as he took the leap of faith and backflipped off the very top of the man made rock waterfall that cascaded down into the crystal clear pool. The two of you were the only guests in sight which you were so thankful for when Jake came belly flopping down into the water with a crisp slap. 
“Oh!” You cringed hard as your husband hit the water. “That's gotta hurt the ego buddy.” You giggled as you watched Jake swim under the water closer to the edge where you sat just relaxing in the smallest bikini known to mankind. “Jake?” You asked as he crept closer and closer under the water. Your eyes never left his swimming silhouette until he was jumping up right in front of you to rest his elbows on the edge of the pool right in front of you. 
“My execution was a little off.” He grinned as you leaned in to give him a kiss. Unbeknownst to you though as your lips pressed against your husbands, his hands snakes around your waist to quickly drag you into the water where Jake needed you to be. With him, forever. 
“JAKE!” You shouted as you fell into the pool. Jake couldn't contain his laughter. Thank god he remembered you knew how to swim. 
“Yes Honey?” He cooed as you resurfaced with a gasp. 
“You’re a child!” 
“Uh no–I'm not.” Jake made sure to correct you as he pulled you closer under the water. His hand explored your ass as he wrapped your legs around his waist and held you up against him. You could feel his hard on pressing against your core, it wouldn't take much at all for him to slip out of his trunks and into you if he wanted to. 
“But if you want I can show you how they're made?”
***~***~***~***~***~***~
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