#but it literally doesnt answer ANYTHING and makes the problem WORSE because how is he even alive | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

probably-haven · 3 years

Note

Hello!! After seeing what you wrote about xiaoven fics I went to see what things you usually write and omg, your archon Venti headcanons????? I am absolutely in love. So if it isn't annoying, could you talk about xiaoven or Venti or Xiao or whatever ship or character you like? I don't care what you are going to say, I just want to know more about your thoughts ^^

I- is this... bestie, this is essentially a free ramble pass- kerujsgheskdfug. Trust me when I say that in no way is this, and in no way will it ever be annoying in the slightest- i literally- lets just say rambling off thoughts is kind of my specialty, especially when provided a topic to branch off of because otherwise I'm just- really indecisive about it so- iujskdh yeah- 100% definitely down to talk about Venti, Xiao, and/or Xiaoven XD. Also, yes- it may have been awhile since i last posted one(cuz again, indecisive about which direction to take part 5), but the Archon War Era Venti headcanons are still without a doubt my favorite posts I've made. It's just such an interesting topic with such endless potential that so few people actually think about or consider or even realize is there, so i always just get really psyched whenever i see someone interact with them lol.

.... this ended up being a bit of a mess: warning in advance

Anyway! onto the actual content!

- You see the thing about Xiaoven is that there's a lot of different ways that it could end up working out, and just personally my favorite way of portraying Xiaoven in my mind is as an unlabeled relationship because if anyone in genshin would give off that vibe its these two. And a number of other reasons.

- Firstly, I heavily headcanon Venti as being an aroace polyplatonic or perhaps heavily demiromantic. However, regardless of this I just don't think that Venti is really the kind of person to worry about how he should label his feelings, thinking it's silly to try to put them in one box or the other, especially with feelings and emotions being as fluid as they are in general. Plus it fits his whole God of Freedom vibe. I just- dont think he's the biggest fan of labels or social categorization in general.

- And secondly on the hand of Xiao... his defense mechanisms are very much ingrained in his personality. It's probably hard enough for him to not go into fight or flight(the answer is fight) at the slightest affection at first, at the slightest feeling of vulnerability. Even further down the line, with his fierce dedication to Liyue, I cant help but get the vibe that the moment he recognized that he was falling for Venti he would begin avoiding him, not only to avoid distraction from his duty, but to avoid corrupting him or losing him in general like he has with like basically every other person he gets close with(even believing that the cycle had repeated once more when he first heard of Morax's death)... now imagine Venti tryna slap a label on their relationship and tell me Xiao would have a positive reaction.

- The thing with Xiaoven.... honestly, i feel like theres more ways that it can go wrong than it can go right, but if they do manage to make their relationship work out, it's just simply beautiful in all terms of the word.

- Lets talk about killing. - During the Archon War, both were forced to kill a large number of people and gods alike- Venti out of a need to remain alive to protect Mondstadt, it's freedom, and the nameless bard's legacy by extent- and Xiao out of servitude to the god that was once his master

..... actually- break here- ive talked a lot about Venti on this blog but I havent actually spoken about Xiao all that much- so i should probably do that a bit first... do note though that my characterization of Xiao is pretty flexible actually- this is just- the possible characterization of him that i tend to favor as being the most- uh- "realistically complex"

Theres a line I saw this one time in a certain story: "He is a trained weapon. That's what he is, was, and always will be. You cannot change that so stop trying." And i just- think its a really interesting concept- that applies pretty well to Xiao now that i actually think about it. - the concept behind it is this: After spending more than a vast majority of his life killing or otherwise in battle, it's become a part of who he is, a normalcy that after centuries and centuries would be near impossible to get rid of or reverse, and even if it was possible, with his karmic debt constantly eating away at him its unlikely he has enough time left for that to happen. - it sounds like a cruel thing to say about him- but in context it's actually pretty layered and i think about it a lot. It's not as much a "he's a killer lol, that his whole personality" its more of a "The centuries of trauma he experienced have conditioned him into a constantly alert and battle ready mindset while also shaping his dehumanizing inferior-in-worth-but-superior-in-capability view of himself that would have likely been necessary to get through those time, and at this point he's been under that conditioning for long enough that it's essentially ingrained itself in his personality."

- the main idea is- it's a part of who he is, that needs to be accepted as who he is because its not something that he can just up and change. It's not all he is of course but his constant battle mode, as though always waiting to be ambushed or to be granted a new target to eradicate.

a couple character story quotes:

-"His past of service under the evil god had rid Xiao of his innocence and gentleness. All that remained within him was the means to kill and the weight of his sins. The only way he could be of service to mortals was in combat." -"Xiao does not feel any hatred. Having lived for over two thousand years, no single karmic debt constitutes anything more than a fleeting memory. No grudge can last a thousand years; nor is any debt so great that it cannot be paid off in this time. Xiao has spent many long years alone. But his battles have never been in vain." -"where did Xiao have to return to? He was merely leaving the battlefield." -"since Xiao wages a constant war against dark forces powerful enough to devour Liyue in its entirety, any bystanders who witness him in the heat of battle are likely to end up as collateral damage." -"The war he fights can never be won, and will never come to an end." -"Because ultimately, the one with whom Xiao wrestles is himself."

i feel like at some point this very nearly did consume his whole personality, almost turning him into nothing more than a being of slaughter under Morax's control, devoid of any "humanity" at all, consumed and corrupted by his karmic debt like his fellow yakshas before him. - until he experienced a moment of clarity- a song in the wind, the peaceful melody of a dihua flute. - and pulled back from the border of something he wouldnt have been able to return from, there a was a shift in his mind- a concept grown unfamiliar enough with time that it took him a great time to identify what it was; a curiosity. Something that there was no place for on the battlefield, something that by all means should have been completely useless to Xiao, and yet he held onto that curiosity, slowly regaining over time, a sense of who he was and who he could choose to be with each song that the wind chose to carry towards him every once in a blue moon.

and eventually that curiousity turned to longing. Longing "for a day to come when he will wear the mask and dance — not to conquer demons, but to the tune of that flute amid a sea of flowers"

...... uh- heh- if you couldn’t tell already i have a tendency to make my characterizations/analyses of characters more serious that i probably should.

to summarize: Xiao is constantly toeing the line between his ingrained nature and his humanity- almost as though still trying to decide how much of that humanity he deserves to have, how much he is allowed to have, and how much is safe to have.

^looking back after writing this, i think the best way to explain it is that this is the view that i keep in mind/the lense that i tend to most enjoy looking through and refering back to while examining and/or analyzing his character, actions, story, lines, and overall personality.

idk- i kinda got off track but i just think its a really interesting interpretation to think about because it has some really interesting implications ig- it’s not the full extent of how i view him of course, but i kinda got ahead of myself and its long enough as is so ill just elaborate as i go- Lol i actually have in progress playlists for both him and venti and just- vibes- i could ramble about the playlists alone for hours explaining everything... It’s probably a problem- uh- ill keep going now lol.

anyways! stepping off the angst path for a brief break! Brought to you by their lines in the snow: both waiting for it to get thick enough, Venti for the purpose of a snowball fight and Xiao for the purpose of a tasty and nutritious breakfast.

but its actually something of note that Xiao doesnt actually need to eat so anything he does eat is usually out of obligation or enjoyment- so like.... snow.... like i dont blame him, but of all things- an adeptus who refuses to eat basically anything but almond tofu looks at the freezing-cold-floor-water that yeeted itself from above and decided at some point- damn- that seems more edible than basically ever single actually edible thing ever.... im gonna eat it- like- im glad if eating snow makes him happy but- at the same time...

He probably convinces Venti to eat snow too though and Venti wouldnt even resist I mean he’s wind and has probably consumed worse things in his time so- 2 anemo cryptids with glowing tattoos sitting in Dragonspine monching snow in the dead of night is an amusing thought to me.

- kay, now back to more serious-toned thoughts

One of the things about the ship that i really like is the different contradicting parallels between them:

A lot of how i view Xiao’s character is someone formed largely by the things he cant control and who was forced to accept that accepted that and learned to thrive in it as much as he can. Venti on the other hand is surrounded by things he cant control and is ever adapting to control as much as he can while embracing whatever he cant as being part of the unpredictability of the world, seeing beauty in it.

both of them have lost people and do what they do to honor their memory: Xiao continues to do what the Yakshas once did And Venti chooses to do what his friend couldn’t

Xiao’s power coming from himself and Venti’s from others And both seem to appear to use their power for their own gain while truly helping others behind the scenes

both have killed a lot of people during the archon war Xiao views it as another necessary event out of his control and Venti would likely view it as a tragedy he chose to enact himself

and this is where we meet out balance

Xiao- contrary to how i think a lot of people view him as thinking of himself as a monster- seems canonically to have accepted this as part of his duty, as long as those he killed are not mortals. I dont think he enjoys it no- but someone has to do it and he’s just accepted that its a part of his duty Venti on the other hand-

See the beauty of the ship- as someone with an angst-centric mind- is this- these are two of the most traumatized mfers in the game

Xiao is by far the one who needs the most help and who can serve to benefit most from the ship- but he is nowhere near self aware enough to recognize that there’s anything wrong or unhealthy about his mindset in the slightest-

whereas you have the contrast with Venti who sorted through most of his trauma with the nameless bard alone during the archon war and while the result appears more healthy- is still really not- but he’s not self aware of that either because i mean- who’s going to tell him? nobody even knows.

however- venti is aware enough to notice flaws in Xiao’s mindset and “Venti” enough to want to help them through it-

Xiao- while not aware enough to recognize the flaws in Venti’s mindset, can recognize where it contrasts with his own, and is blunt enough to point it out- and then it’s out there to be mulled over-

they’re so similar and yet so different and a feel just conversing between the two of them, being in each others precense, just being exposed to two mindsets that are so very different could do both of them a whole lot of good.

GEEE THAT BIT OF RAMBLING HAD LITTLE TO NO DIRECTION AT ALL- LET ME-- LET ME MAKE THIS START MAKING SENSE- WITH... DYNAMICS OR SOMETHING

I don’t think Xiao needs to sleep really- and i dont think that sleeping would do anything except make him uneasy at first- he’d probably just get nightmares after all he’s been through- but with Venti he would soon learn that it doesn’t have to be that way, lulled into the first peaceful sleep he’s had in... as long as he can remember.

anywho back to not making sense cuz im fickle and i think most questions about ships are best displayed through character interactions so like- a possible exchange thats cliche but cliches exist for a reason

Xiao: Why do you try so hard to help me, it isn’t easy. I know that much Venti, with the most adoring expression: Because you’re worth it, obviously Xiao: But surely there are others more deserving of- Venti: No Xiao, everyone is just as deserving as the next person, you included Xiao: Then why me above others? Venti: ehe, cuz ur my warrior of course [O//////O oh shit, hes right] Xiao: My contract is with Morax alone [gay panic but in broody yaksha]

it’s kinda difficult cuz neither of them really address their feelings. I mean Venti does but he does it very indirectly and its rare that he ever does it with like- genuine directness- even spilling his backstory was in the form of a song- and told in the third person- so a lot of their interactions would often have some deeper meaning, especially with Venti being the bard he is.

I come up with a lot of- errant thoughts about Xiaoven- but this is making me realize that a true analysis of their ship is rather difficult because it just encompasses so many dynamics so its hard to settle on just one and not go rambling about who knows what bouncing from one end of the ship to the other- Because you truly can and thats the beauty of it

within one moment you can be having a heartfelt conversation about the archon war the impact of lost friends and times past, and the next moment Venti is trying to forcefeed Xiao an apple while Xiao screams about disrespecting the adepti and its just- so lovely

so while they have picnics with nothing but apples, dandelion wine, and almond tofu they can sit down and talk about the dreams Xiao once devoured, and the dandelion wine and apple cider that the first Ragnvindir invented from the plants that never could have grown in Old Mond. The foods that tasted of familiarity, or of the grilled ticker fish Pervases always used to eat, foods that tasted of friends and frankly family that had since passed, glaze lilies and cecilias and qingxin flowers scattered in the surroundings and woven into Xiao’s neat braids and Venti’s now messy ones, rebraided by the steady and inexperienced hands of one unused to gentle action.

and then of course Venti steals Xiao’s tofu once the mood becomes too grim and replaces it with a bottle of wine that Xiao refers to as “vile poison,” a remark that fatally wounds Venti as he collapses on the floor, proclaiming how he can only be healed by a Yaksha’s kiss. Xiao ignores this of course and simply takes back his tofu with a slight smile on his face, but as Venti persists he soundlessly places a kiss on his own palm before intertwining their fingers and pulling him back up from where he was dramatically sprawled on the floor, grumbling about how such action was “unbecoming of an archon.” A sign of affection only Xiao would ever know about. But Venti is literally wind and I hc his senses work differently anyways so he definitely knows- plus Xiao’s face is red as the blood of his enemies and the way he is pointedly not looking at Venti at all really speaks volumes anyways.

-Venti playing epic battle music whenever Xiao goes into fights in what looks like a ridiculously extra performance to anyone else but is actually doing wonders to keep Xiao’s karma at bay

-Venti preaches the practice of “kissing wounds better” and Xiao is unfamiliar with this medical treatment but views it as unnecessary regardless because adepti have accelerated healing, doesn’t mean he’s going to stop him though.

-Messages whispered on the wind

-Venti’s 1000 year sleep- an accident, not a fun time for the yaksha, and not a fun time for Venti once he woke up. Venti is actually more afraid of restful sleep than Xiao is, hence the sleeping in trees thing, but when Xiao is there, he can sleep restfully with faith that Xiao wont let another millennia slip through his fingertips.

- Xiao tends to make excuses when doing things that aren’t necessary to his duty, like in his birthday voice line “Have this, it’s a butterfly i made from leaves... Okay. Take it. It’s an adepti amulet -- it staves off evil” because at the current point in his progress it helps him to feel like he’s allowed to do these things. Not wanting to put him off from progress, Venti never comments on his excuse but never fails to whisper a quick reminder of how proud he is of how far Xiao had come.

- Xiao’s karma saddens Venti greatly- not only because of how it effects Xiao but also because its a reminder that as much as Venti tries to honor the memory of those he’s killed, there will always be those who resent him for it, and when he took the option of living away from them, he truly can’t blame them. - And when he gets too wrapped up in thoughts, whether around this topic or similar ones or otherwise, eventually, he’ll hear the sound of a flute on the wind. It’s not divine by any means, but as his own wind connects him to the source, he gets the sentiment all the same. “What impact does one individual’s remaining wrath have on the present. You have done much to help the living in the present” the unspoken idea that Xiao has included himself in that statement, because now, with Venti’s help he’s beginning to learn just how to experience living for himself.

- Venti’s form and Xiao’s mask are off limit topics though because if either mentions it the other will counter with the opposite and the mood will turn immediately bitter at the idea that both know that what they’re doing is destructive but neither are willing to change

- Venti who has different tells for negative feelings than most people because as much as he likes to pretend it is- this form isnt his, and Xiao who is able to identify those

- many fanfics and headcanons have Venti recognizing when Xiao is uncomfortable and getting him out of those situations. I see that and I love it but i raise you: - Venti taking Xiao to Mondstadt, careful that he doesn’t get to the point that he’s uncomfortable. And nothing goes wrong exactly, but Xiao notices the the way Venti’s cape is blowing in the wind, the way he’s holding his weight, barely on his feet so much as floating on the wind, connected with the ground only for the sake of appearance, all the while he looks just as happy go lucky as ever. And without a word, he grabs his hand and teleports them both out of Mondstadt. - turns out it was just a slight thing that reminded him of the archon war (cuz i will die on the hill of him having more tragic backstory than just Decarabian), and he of course gives a sincere if not flustered thanks to Xiao, because he’s really not used to people noticing.

- Venti trying to vent sneakily through fictional stories and Xiao is just like “Didn’t that basically happen to you” and Venti is just like “<_< shit”

- Venti once said affectionally that he wished he had met Xiao sooner and Xiao immediately and seriously shot it down by saying “If you had, I would have been forced to kill you” and both of them now stay up at night wondering who would have won that fight, not sure which result would have hurt more. (because honestly I have no idea who would win in that fight and that terrifies me- I like to think it would have been one of those legends that end with “and the fight persists to this day” or something along those lines)

- “How long have you been together?” “Adepti have no need for-” “1000+ years T^T how dare you deny our love” “O///O our...? ...useless”

- its disney- let me explain- i have this- i have this headcanon inspired by watching too many animatics- - so venti has a human form that isnt his- which he would have had to get used to moving in- and he’s a bard- - uh- anyway- as a third degree black belt in mixed martial arts, i can speak as an authority on this(not really an authority since i havent gone since quarantine but lets pretend). We have a thing referred to as the big three(most things do), and those things are martial arts, gymnastics, and dance. The idea is that they reflect really well off of each other and the best in any one category are good in all three. Timing, balance, form, discipline, technique, hand-eye coordination, grace, ease of motion, they all play a part- anyway-

- Venti taking Xiao’s prowess in martial arts and acrobatics and teaching him how to dance, and as someone who’s extremely skilled in the first two, the third comes easy to him, almost naturally. And it’s delicate and beautiful and lovely and it isn’t hurting anyone. And Venti points all these things out and more and despite how much Xiao insists that he feels ridiculous he truly does enjoy it and it goes a long way towards helping him form more healthy views of himself and his worth. - Verr Goldett walked in on him once and made a joke about performing at the inn. unfortunately Venti was there and agreed on Xiao’s behalf before he could protest and- and it wasn’t as bad as Xiao thought it would be... he still wouldn’t do it again though without reason, but with good enough reasoning he could probably be convinced.

- anyways point is he likes dancing to Venti’s songs and i just think that’s really cute - just picture the idea that all the animatics you see actually have the potential to be canon- ugh

- venti tries holding something out of Xiao’s reach since he’s taller and Xiao just fucking teleports

- both need their space but when they dont, all they have to do is speak the other’s name and they’ll be there.

- and because i just had to.... love languages

- lets start with Xiao- i don’t think he’d view acts of service or quailty time as a love language tbh, and he blunt but really bad with words so affirmation is out, leaving gift giving and physical touch. However, he seems to view most material things as meaningless so- - Xiao who’s love language is in his fleeting touches, something he’s only recently grown comfortable with because of Venti, and now is giving back, which he knows he doesn’t have to do, but that he want’s to, though he’ll still continue to make excuses for each one. “you were shivering” “The inn is high up, you could have fallen..... I said what I said, you’d question an adeptus?”

- and as easy as it is to say words of affirmation for Venti- he does that for everyone- i want to say his is actually acts of service - its the acts of service that let him see just how much Xiao has progressed afterall, from teaching him to dance, to playing another song on the flute, to supplying him with the almond tofu he seems to enjoy so much. Every little thing he does helps Xiao to grow and he couldn’t be happier about that.

- of course most of my headcanons for the ship do take place latter into the relationship because- y’know the less serious unhealthy vibes allow for greater range of thought, but i do still love to think about the serious implications so i kinda hopped back and forth. So sorry about how messy it is btw, i kinda- got carried away- it kinda got some kind of structure near the end tho so- maybe it’s okay. anyway- back to... lol something, we’ll see where thought forests lead.

#genshin impact #genshin xiao #genshin venti #xiao #venti #xiaoven #genshin analysis #genshin headcanons #xiaoven headcanons #xiaoven analysis #this is a mess i really shouldnt be putting all these tags but oh well #oh wow the grammar and spelling here is truly repulsive #sorry to all my english teachers i have failed you all

75 notes · View notes

haec-est-fides · 2 years

Note

Omg thanks for listening to my random ramblings I am feeling so validated right now. To answer your tags I have only watched bits and pieces of Rome, mostly Octavian stuff. I enjoy watching /the/ Machiavellian paragon, I may actually sit down and watch it all one day. I am not going to lie, my main interest in ToA lies with the Olympian dynamics, although from what I've seen I will have to adjust some pre existing headcanons based off what I've read especially the Hermes bit at the end of ToN, which is so disappointing from what we've read about Mr. "cant give up on family" (yes I am a bit of an Hermes apologist. Was he a terrible father to Luke? Yes absolutely by mortal standards but he did care and he has bound by fate and you cant change fate without making things worse and he doesnt seem to have a problem with the unclaimed living in his cabin unlike idk Hera would probably so as far as Olympians go he is not the worse. Not good but not the worse and damn is he an intersting character to think about.) Also something I noticed while reading through your blog is Nero said souls escape all the time from the Underworld? Which is super stupid. What kind of leaky ship is Hades, who so far has been portrayed as one of the most responsible and serious gods running down there. And it directly contradicts all of the myths that show how hard and impossible it is to escape- I just really hate that detail it feels like Rick makes all of these throwaway lines and doesnt think about how it affects the canon at large. The closest thing I can think of to justify this is Melinoe from the sword of hades story where she is supposed to take souls who didnt receive proper burial rites and terrify mortals on the surface in myth but that is not what it sounded like. Octavian is the hero of his own story and it is so tragic like from his pov he is totally in the right. Some random amnesiac son of Neptune rolles up to town and is elected praetor over you a vet in a respected position entirely devoted to the camp after one week where he mostly wasnt even in camp and showing no administrative skills and he wasnt even leader of the quest that was Frank. And then he brings a literal warship of your historical enemies, who attack your city and then dip. Yeah, he is totally justified in declaring war. And then he dies and is hailed as the hero he thought of himself in life. Rick I am begging for some depth to Octavian to show how he is an anti hero or well intentioned extremist. The manipulated by gaea angle later on was lazy and if anything makes him more sympathetic rather than him doing it all of his own will and most likely revisionist by Apollo. I also noticed how you dont seem to like the seven and nico and reyna could you expand on that? Is it the carte blanche on killing? Because I never really thought about it but, Michael Yew was Percy's fault huh? I dont remember if he ever told them to evacuate the bridge before he brought it down, which would muddy the waters, but either way it was a reckless disregard of lives, especially his for all intents and purposes subordinates as he is basically the commander of this army. I understand that these are middle grade books, which is why I try not to hold all of these thoughts against Rick too much but I cant help but think of what ifs. Especially since he brings these topics up and then brushes them under the rug, like the demigods on the Andromeda. They are fighting a war, and there will be casualties, demigod on demigod killings. Obviously he is not going to delve into the ethics of child soldiers killing each other directly but he still brings it up. And the whole Bryce thing went well beyond self defense. And yeah I get that this whole series requires serious suspense of disbelief, but that is easier with the Mist/deliberately hiding from mortals. But three immortal roman emperors with the largest company ever and fingers in every mortal pie have been able to hide for centuries? I didnt realize I had this many thoughts on the series huh. Sorry for the word vomit.

Sorry for taking longer to get back to this ask than the last ones!

I cannot recommend HBO's Rome enough. I've watched it so many times! While it does of course have its issues, it's really fun in a political intrigue way imo. I think I keep going back to it because Octavian / Augustus "wins" in the end, the show being focused on the establishment of the empire, and that's not an ending I see a lot in media?

Riordan definitely wrote a lot of "throwaway" lines without thinking about the consequences for the broader world he was creating. Octavian is sort of that same concept -- a throwaway line -- but a whole character, seeing how little he was explored and, more, how little his role in the world seemed to affect anything else.

Hm, I suppose I don't like the Seven, Nico, Reyna, etc. But honestly? It's almost wholly personal, and I will admit that. I definitely respect them as people, for what they've accomplished and been through, but,,,I doubt I'd get along with them, largely because they don't seem to even try to understand Octavian / the Roman viewpoint. Even the "Romans" -- Reyna, Jason, Frank, Hazel -- are explicitly juxtaposed with traditional Romanness at large, and that's written as a "good" thing. I probably actively dislike Nico the most, as well as Michael Kahale, because of the roles they played in Octavian's death. Nico plays a big protagonist role in ToA too, so,,,I consider him my enemy on narrative grounds.

Regarding the way death is so,,,casual? Not addressed very well, if at all? Yeah, it's sometimes hard to swallow. The Andromeda explosion and Octavian's death are great examples, but it comes up in ToA as well and makes me angry every time.

#filodox!#asks #fun fact! michael yew was like my favorite character in the original series :(#apollo cabin ftw #but yeah when he died i definitely blamed percy #percy and i have never gotten along tbh #bad start bad middle bad finish good riddance #wait how many octavian fans / self identifying camp jupiter kids use the word machiavellian / are also machiavelli fans? 👀

10 notes · View notes

twisted-leader-of-something · 3 years

Note

As a Leona stan who has more brains than other Leona stans out there who likes him for being a hot jerk, I had alot of things to justify his behaviour and his lack of change. If you pay attention closely on his birthday SSR, Leona has a different behaviour compared to his usual vulgar attitude. He has a calm and normal tone in his voice and seems to be ok in talking about his family and the things he do, he answers them all with no problem at all, heck he even teases the MC.

Continuation 1: His behaviour on his bday gives off a different impression on him and is proof that Leona can be a decent person depending on his mood. Also, I found out in this story too that he and Farena had a 10 year age gap. Which is kinda messed up to think that he was being compared to his brother at the age of 5 or 10. Just the thought of it, I understand why Leona grew up to be bitter and pessimistic. Even on his Bday at home, he was treated like he aint supposed to be born.

Continuation 2: People always overlook the fact Leona was lazy and spares no effort in anything if it doesnt benefit him. Well it might be true, they forgot in his backstory that Leona did work so hard to prove he is just as important as his brother only to be shoved aside again and again. It had been that way to the point he possibly suffered from depression and becomes hopeless in life. He starts losing interest in effort and sleeps his pain away.

Continuation 3: He'd also become so close off to other people and treats them as either a nuisance or servants simply because the people in the palace outside his family, treat him like he is no important, so he treats everyone like he is no important to them. BUT, its not likely the case at all anymore. Despite being a jerk, Leona does showcase signs of kindness too albeit much more subtle.

Continuation 4: Its pretty evident on his Bday story how he treats MC well compared in EP 2 and 3. He becomes more proactive and starts to work at EP 5. He even provide some foods for his dorm mates at the Halloween event and even saves Jack. Leona has alot of good points in him despite being a jerk, the only problem is, that he has troubles moving on in life because he was stuck in the past, he refuse to open up to others because he thinks emotions are a weakness.

Continuation: Despite all this he still cares for his family, he just doesnt show it. He still respects his brother even if he is jealous of him. That somewhat makes him the opposite of Scar because Scar himself could never do that. Out all of the people who had a hard time changing, Leona is the one who is the hardest to change because of years of pain being compared by the people of his home. He can change, but its a milestone of change. Maybe not now but later on. Thats all sorry its too long

For Context, Anon is most likely referring to this part of my last post:

I thought Leona in a similar regard to Vil, even after Chapter 2 because. . . Leona just. . . didn’t express he wanted to change or reflect on his past actions. And Honey, I have pretty bad depression, possibly on par with what Leona has, maybe even worse. And, I have younger siblings who have to live in my shadow at my middle school and they’ve told me it’s hard to fit into the model I’ve made being a teacher’s pet and overall good student the teachers favored highly. But being depressed and living in someone’s shadow that does not excuse Leona from his actions. And, at the time, we knew nothing about Leona’s past besides that and how his attitude changed after Cheka was born. Depression is different from person to person but that’s not an excuse for trying to kill a fellow classmate, getting several people injured, throwing your dorm under the bus and taking no responsibility for it quite literally throwing in the towel the minute he faces issues, and not doing anything overall and making it other people’s problems. Depression isn’t an excuse to be an asshole. Neither is being in someone else’s shadow. And, until the Fairy Gala, Leona showed no true signs he had changed and care for anyone besides himself. Sure, Chapter 2 hinted at Leona taking a hit for Savanaclaw by making a deal with Azul for Ruggie’s sake, once again to try to kill someone, and Chapter 3 kind of expands on that by giving out generally what must have happened. But honey. That isn’t much to go off of, and Chapter 4 kind overshadows that part with, well, Ruggie saying Leona’s only helping MC in destroying Azul’s contracts because he doesn’t want to deal with the contract he made with Azul anymore. So, imagine my surprise and happiness when the Fairy Gala shows that Leona cares for Ruggie, Grim and MC when he comes and saves the three when they’re in trouble during the event. It showed me that Yana and the staff at least kind of understood the side of people like me, who don’t like Leona because he treats others badly. Do I like Leona? Not really. Still think he’s not a great guy, but I at least know he’s capable of being a decent being when he wants to be and now I can tolerate him, and with new information that has come out about him thanks to his birthday story, I can say I’m more on the fence with him then I was with him when I first read through his chapter.

It's quite alright Anon! I think this sums about pretty my change in feelings on Leona, besides the fact I'm not a Leona stan at all.

I mean, I can understand where Leona’s coming from, to a certain degree.

Your whole life is thrown to the side by others no matter what you do, and then once you’ve gotten used to that messed up way of life, your life kind of messed up by a single thing that isn’t exactly isn’t in your control. And, to the degree I can empathize with Leona with that. The circumstances are wildly different between me and Leona, but I think I understand Leona’s feeling of hopelessness and the depression he felt, and why he sleeps his life away.

My depression is much different than his, so I don’t do the same things as him, but I understand his feeling of hopelessness, to an almost painful degree. I won’t get into the details of what happened to me, because I really don’t want to here since I don’t want this to be a pity party for me, but in essence, I think I felt what Leona did when Cheka first came into being.

He felt he had no one now that Cheka come into being, because now he was, well, a spare for the throne. Since people already didn’t treat him right for something that wasn’t something he could control, Leona was most likely always in a pretty bad place, mentally. A part of him knew that he was in a bad place, but he dealt with it, because that’s what he knew. I think Cheka’s birth was a breaking point for him. He was living basically on something he knew wasn’t good, but trying his best but then Cheka’ existence came into being, and now Leona’s going to be treated worse.

I don’t think he blames Cheka for it, from how he treats Cheka, he’s just trying to push Cheka away because Cheka’s existence, unfortunately reminds him of his fate, that he’s basically a spare for a throne he’s probably not going to get. Leona pushes Cheka away despite how much Cheka love him because Leona is trying to protect himself for getting hurt again. Leona’s never hurt Cheka, and has more or less been nice to Cheka despite his hate for the cub, all things considered. Lions are known to kill cubs to take over a pride, but the closest thing Leona’s done to hurting Cheka is throwing Cheka away from him, to be caught by Ace and Deuce (which is kind of sketchy if it’s canon, but eh. I count it.).

Which, is why Leona most likely jumped at the chance to go to Night Raven when he realized he had a chance to get out, and I think his time at Night Raven is actually very good for him.

Leona, even if he is kind of a huge jerk, is away from the toxic environment that was his life, and is now genuinely respected by others for who he is. He has room to grow as a person without people pushing him down and degrading him, and in a place where his actions have next to no effect in the world. Leona clearly has people around him that respect him, like Jack and even his dormmates that respect him for who he is as a person (Not sure about Ruggie. After Chapter 2 I kind of question if Ruggie cares for Leona like he did back then). And, like Anon said, we are seeing Leona start to try to change, it’s subtly, but it’s there for sure. For one, in the main story, he’s more proactive than before, and showing he can be a leader and a decent being when he wants to be. While I’m not sure how long Leona has before he has the leave Night Raven, I’m happy for him at least he finally got the help he needed. It took an Overblot, but it seems Leona is learning to deal with his depression. And, that makes me happy. Still not happy he’s an ass to others, but I’m more okay with it now I know that reason behind it.

From Leona’s character line, I think Yana might be going for The Tale of Two Brothers version of Scar and possibly leading into The Lion Guard version of Scar. I can’t prove why I know that Yana might do this or how she’ll do it, but based on Leona’s backstory, The Tale of Two Brothers version matches with our Leona right now. Leona is pretty troubled, like Taka was. But, I think after Leona has had his time with MC, he turns more into Askari more, making him a better person and then the kingdom sees him more as a figure that got the short end of the stick that made his way in life then an unwanted second prince.

I’ll all for it. But, I’d be interested in hearing Farena and his wife’s side of the story, as well. Purely just because I wanna know how they feel about him, too. Maybe Farena and his wife know something about Leona he don’t, and give us insight on Leona’s scar on his eye.

#twisted wonderland theory #twisted wonderland theories #twst theory #twst theories #[ mun speaks ]#[ twisted wonderland theories ]

28 notes · View notes

morgynemberisagenderfluiddaddy · 2 years

Text

So I'm having a rough day week month year and I'm just gonna yell into the void for a little bit ✌

So I have fucking flu like symptoms again because my bitch ass doesn't know how to not be stressed? This is the third time I've been sick in 2022 AND ITS FEBRUARY! I've been in bed all day only leaving for brief bathroom breaks and then! As I'm going to bed! My knee does a weird wobble thing AND NOW I FUCKED UP MY KNEE TOO!!!! I've been having the most intense body aches and my knee really said "hahaha you know what'd be funny!!!!" So I hobbled my stupid little ass up the stairs and now I'm lying in bed again trying to feel tired but I'm just NOT. All day I've been exhausted and barely awake and now my brain is just like "hey, hey, hey, you have all kinds of shit you need to write and edit and all you did today was cry" brains are fun. I really do miss my boys though, I've been so sick that I've had to step away for two months and it's been harder than I expected. Writing is how I make things better but I'm just so fucking exhausted. And to make all that so much more fun there's so much drama happening in my extended family (who I haven't talked to in years mind you). Okay here's the tea, some therapist decided on a hunch that my grandfather has dementia. My grandmother, being the naturally conniving person she is decides to make it everybody else's problem instead of getting a serious diagnosis. So what happens? She calls my dad and says "dads doing really bad, he's sick and he's not going to be around much longer" so of course we scramble to try to get them over here. They completely ruin our Christmas and everyone ends up fighting the entire time, they go back home, my dad talks to A REAL NEUROLOGICAL DOCTOR who ran tests on good old granddad and says "yep there's nothing wrong with him, just normal aging" I DONT HAVE ANYTHING ELSE TO SAY ABOUT THAT!!!!

You're probably like wow that's really shitty, but wait! It gets worse!! My grandmother decides to call my mom one day out of the blue freaking out about the Russia Ukraine situation and tells my mom that she heard my brother was going to be deployed. MY BROTHER DOESNT EVEN TALK TO THIS WOMAN AND WE TALK TO HIM MULTIPLE TIMES A WEEK so we knew for a fact that was NOT happening but noooo grandma knows everything and anyone who disagrees shall surely be put to death. Oh I left out the best part of their holiday trip, grandma saw my pride flag (in my room she demanded to see after I said no) and refused to talk to me the entire trip, unless it was to say something snide or critical of course. Oh and one more thing, Christmas day happens, my family spends so much time and effort and money to include them for OUR Christmas right? My grandpa gets a call, it's my cousin who sings a Christmas carol to him and hangs up. He then loudly declares to my brother's girlfriend that that was the best Christmas gift he has ever gotten from any of his grandchildren and I'm literally standing right there cleaning up the wrapping paper from all the presents he opened.

Anyway all this shit right? All of it! All of it that they've put me through for fucking DECADES my grandma texts me feb 14 "Happy Valentine's Day! Hope Your Day Is Sweet N Special As You Are! Love You So Much! ❤️🌹❤️🌹❤️🌹❤️🌹❤️🌹"

I'm so fucking done with this shit seriously. I didn't even answer. (Same woman by the way, that when my dog passed away a few months ago texted me "well dogs die, it happens" also they spent their entire trip reminding me that she wasn't around as well.) 🙃🙃🙃🙃

Okay different tea but on my mom's side. My mom is completely estranged from her family because they refuse to accept the fact that they're terrible people. Well come to find out my moms step grandmother died a few days ago and had been in the hospital paralyzed since Christmas. Now I'm not surprised by any of this because like I said they're absolutely horrible people but the only way we found this out is because they sent my dad a link to a gofundme to pay for her funeral. (My mom hasn't talked to these people in at least ten years, and my dad maybe more) but yep. Find out through gofundme. It's not like I really knew this woman or that she was truly family to me in anyway but that's still really fucked up.

Guys I'm fucking tired. Thanks for letting me vent, I don't know if it made me feel better but at least it's out of my system I guess and hopefully it made you realize that you're probably not all that crazy ✌

#izzy speaks but i really shouldnt #vent

4 notes · View notes

khaleesiofalicante · 2 years

Note

Hej! Igen😂 håber du hviler efter dette lange kapitel og får noget arbejde gjort!

Jnshsiaka I- I cant!! Istg I read "David" and literally went: Nop, not happening. Bye. And got tf out of ao3 and tumblr. I have to thank you tho. I finally did my ethics homework I had been procastinating for two days lmaoo

But ok ok *takes a deep breath* lets go!!

ONLY DAVID COULD NAME A DEMON CHOPIN OMG!!

JDJWKBDO DAVID!! THAT BOY!! I'M CRYING BSJSBSI HE IS BEAUTIFUL 😭😭

I'm confusion...

“It’s alright, love,” he had told the demon. “I’ve lived with worse demons. You’re okay. I won’t hurt you.” (JDIVDUIS I CANT😭😭)

NOT LIKING DAVID=🚩🚩🚩 (you are on thin fucking ice Asmodeus!!!)

"He wasn’t going to ruin the book by assaulting someone with it. Especially not a first edition!" Honey they might kill you... Still relatable tho

"Because the boy had always felt like a thunderstorm too. Strong, dangerous, and scary – but utterly beautiful and completely breathtaking if you managed to catch a look at the right time." MAVID!!!!!

MAX STOP MAKING JOKES😂😂

I mean I understand Max....

"David dragged his fingers through Max’s back and dug his nails into the dimple at the base of his spine. Max let out a strangled moan against his mouth." OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUUUCK🥺

You beautiful simp!!! THE KISS!!!

I knew Elyaas was telling the truth!!!

“Look. It’s beating.” So is mine!!! (kinda)

“Max,” David said hoarsely. “Max. We are in hell.” “Not a problem,” Max said, moving to his throat. (of course they dont have a problem. Herondale, Fairchild, Bane and Lightwood people never seem to have it. And all four in the same room!! Like father, like son... )

“Max, you mustn’t do anything reckless,” David said carefully – which was asking for a lot, to be honest. “I’m in Edom,” Max pointed out. “That ship has sailed.” (yeah... A little late warning...)

“How hot is this shadowhunter?" REALLY hot, but worry not babe...

“Don’t…Don’t justify what I did so I won’t feel bad about my actions.” Max always surprise me...

Oh shit, he doesn't remember!!

“I love you,” KSJHDIDBDISB 💙💙

"Mon ange, we both know that’s not true.” >>>> anything

"I saved his life" WHAT WHAT??

“You came after the wrong prince.” wtf?? WTF???

“It’s always the bloody Herondales.” HOLY SHIT. NO. WHAT? I. WHAT?? OMG WE ARE ALL CLOWNS HERE!! SHIT GOT REAL. Omg. Plot twist. Wow.

Lexi!! Now this makes sense!!! I'm so worried for her... AND THATS NOT DAVID!!

"If you can make something gay, you should. Those were the rules." Sounds logic :)

YES ALEC CALL HER OUT!! Also, he is right about the fighting thing...

Ok, but she makes a great point at the Herondale thing!!

"Are you satisfied, my Consul?” JDISBSKNS LOVE IT💙 Sounds badass ngl... Also, Lexi scared of Magnus 😂

OMG Olivia!! What?? She is really possesed?!?!?

“Livvy. Baby. Look at me,” he begged, his voice hoarse and torn. “Olivia. Please. I’m here.” (Not cool Dani!! Not cool!!)

I'm scared of Julian...

Every "No." takes years of my life!!

Gabriel??? Anjali?? I NEED ANSWERS!!

ANJALI IS JUST BADASS!!

SELENA!! She knows how to handle all the shit!! My wise girl🥺🥺

Yeah, you got this!!!

I- okey, maybe they don't...

“Selena. I’m so sorry,” Lexi cried. “Selena. What did I do to you?” (FUCK FUCK FUCK!!)

“Wake up. Wake up. Wake up.” I CANT ANYMORE😭😭

HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK?? I'M SCARED FOR LEXI AGAIN!!

He is obsess with Magnus...creepy

Oh shit it all makes sense now!!! The coffee, the arrow!!! THE SWORD!!!

David still blushing here is so cute and funny 😂

Oh boy you are lucky Jace wasnt there!!!

“Oh my god. You are such a drama queen,” LMAOO😂

Thats it. He doesnt like David. Lets kill him🔪

“But the shadowhunter stays right here.” OH SHIT.

He reached out to David and kissed his hand. “You’re gonna be okay. I got you.” (They are going to make me cry 😭😭)

“Babe,” he told the blonde boy. “Take that off. I’ll get you something prettier." 💙💙

“David-” “Max-” “Children,” Asmodeus interrupted with a tired sigh. (why is this so funny tho??? 😂)

Magnus soul?? MAX???

“Magnus Bane and Alec Lightwood. A beautiful story. But I am afraid, it doesn’t have a happy ending. (did you HAVE to remind me of that??)

“I need you to shut the fuck up,” Max said with infinite patience. (SAMEEE)

I dont like this giving up inmortality thing... Its getting a bad habit 🙂

“And you will find someone else to love,” David smiled. How was he smiling right now? “It was supposed to go like this anyway, wasn’t it?” (No. No. No. Please no!!)

OMG IT WAS FOR MAGNUS??

“If anyone is obsessed with your father, it’s your other father.” Yeah, that acurrate..

Asmodeus is just bdjsksnlsnsks >:(

“I don’t care about the world,” Max said. “I care about you.” Im sorry but THE PARALLEL!!!!

That fucking vision send chills all over my body. Seriously it was so dark and cruel and???

“You will be the one who ends it all.”

“You are not Alec Lightwood, and you never will be,” “You are not a protector. You are a destroyer.”

“You keep your immortality and be the one who ends the Lightwood name.”

THAT QUOTES. WOW. I JUST CANT PROCESS IT. WOW.

Jace!! I just want him to be ok since chapter 1😭

“I miss him,” Clary whispered. “I miss him too,” (Noo, he is not dead. Please!!)

"Alec was holding Rafael’s hand. Magnus was singing softly in Indonesian." I mean...shooting me would have hurt less but ok...

"Jace didn’t know what kind of cursed world they lived in where they had to keep saying goodbye to their children" Yeah, thats the cruelest thing of all I think

"Magnus shielded Rafael and Alec shielded Magnus." THIS is just pain in the most pure way and honestly I don't know how I'm still alive

“Is he possessed?” Alec asked dryly. (NO, BUT SOMEONE IS!!)

“He is trying to tell us something,” Jace observed. “Yeah. No shit,” Magnus said. “He wants you to follow him.” “You speak dog?” Jace raised an eyebrow. “I speak commonsense,” (Sorry, this is sad and all but them!!! 😂)

"Clary had looked breathtaking. He had told her that when she was in labor and she had asked him to go fuck himself." I HAVE TO COVER MY MOUTH CAUSE THIS IS JSVSISJSJSJ😂

“My babies,” Jace whispered. “Please. No. Not my babies.” (NO NO NO PLEASE NO!!)

“Somebody check on her parabatai!” YESS!! Thank you Jem. Somebody do something!!!

"A part of Jace knew Magnus was a downworlder. A warlock. But Jace had never seen anything more angelic in his life" I swear I'm trying not to scream 😭😭)

NO NO NO WHAT?? WHAT?? NOO. SHE CANT BE DEAD. WHY?? ITS TOO LATE TO BE CRYING PLEASE!!!

Jeg undskylder igen for denne lange reaktion, pas på dig selv!!! (sender mine bedste vibes, så du også kan skrive den rapport💙)

YES I GOT IT RIGHT IT'S DANISH (I'm just guessing Scandinavian countries at this point lol)

Your love for David >>>>>>>

ALSO I LOVE HOW YOU MANAGE TO SOMEHOW SNEAK IN GABRIEL THIRST EVERY CHAPTER SDBCJDSBJC.

I LOOOOOOOOOVE when you quote fave lines.

Wishing you a productive weekend bebe 💙

#lbaf

8 notes · View notes

nancylou444 · 3 years

Text

I tried to be nice

Replies to this post:

------------------------

Became this:

THEM: hi! thanks for the answers I really appreciate the discussion. normally if someone ships something I don’t like or something like that, I’ll just leave them alone but.. just to be clear I completely respect all of your opinions, even agree with some of them, even if we might disagree on the incest and Castiel haha. So I don’t mean any disrespect with this at all, please let me know if I’m out of line though!

But... I saw some things you said, and they come across to me in a way that I don’t think you intended? I feel really awkward sending this haha, you’re very nice and I don’t think you said anything on purpose, but I just.. wanted to let you know that some of the things regarding your opinion on certain characters come across not very well? I don’t think it’s intentional or anything, and I don’t mean to call you out at all which is why I didn’t want to point it out in the replies y’know?

Don’t get me wrong though, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with not liking castiel or destiel. I’ve been watching the show for a while with my dad, and he isn’t a huge fan either, I don’t think that’s a problem :)

I’d continue without waiting for a response but I don’t want to say something you’ve already been told, or continue without knowing if I’ve said something out of line already 😅

ME: I'm kind of distracted dealing with my Mom's rehab center. But you can keep going.

THEM: Alright! I’ve tried rephrasing this a million times but I don’t know how to make it seem not antagonistic. I promise I don’t mean that you’re doing it intentionally, it’s just, uh a lot of your criticism of spn feels like it could be read as homophobic? Again I don’t think YOU are I just wanted you to know it kind of reads that way!

That sounded so confrontational. I really don’t mean it that way 😭

ME: HOMOPHOBIC? Really? A lot of the 'proof' your fellow shippers use border on stereotypes but you think I'M homophobic? Considering my top two ships are Wincest and Malec. Yeah, sounds confrontational.

THEM: I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. I guess there’s no other way to say it, but I understand why you feel accused. What do you mean by proof..?

Also I don’t really think having gay ships means you can’t be homophobic. *I* used to be homophobic years ago, and I’m a gay person!

ME: How old are you? https://nancylou444.tumblr.com/post/154098904136/a-guide-to-dean-winchesters-imaginary-bisexuality

THEM: yeah this is starting to get frustrating. I’m gonna be real with you, why does it matter if people think dean is bisexual? like, bottom line, that is my question for you

and your answer will determine if your veracity is homophobic. why does it matter that some people think dean is bisexual. not the fans or actors or writers or anything. why does it matter that some viewers will watch, and they will think dean is bisexual?

ME: My problem isn't that some people think he is bi IN FANON, my problem is that they want CONFIRMATION OF A FANON SHIP. And that some people DENY how the show ended. These same people think that fake weddings are more canon than the FINAL EPISODE.

THEM: I get what you mean, but how is it a fanon ship when it’s confirmed romantic from one side, and interpretable as mutually reciprocated in Latin America? (I’m going to disregard the bit about the wedding, because I’m a firm believer in Neil Gaiman variety death of the author. Also that’s just people having fun with fanon, who cares?)

ME: Confirmed romantic?By whom MISHA, who wanted to sell necklaces? Have you never said 'i love you' to a FRIEND or FAMILY member? The dub is not canon, so don't even try using that as proof. Death of the author is just another way of saying MY VIEW OF THE SHOW IS SUPERIOR TO HOW THE CREATOR WANTS TO SEE IT. Jensen has said many times that the ship isn't canon and that Dean is straight. But it's better to believe what Misha says because he agrees with you. You think somebody is bi because of how they sit or the color clothes they wear? That would make YOU homophobe.

THEM: LOL You know what? I change my answer. I looked through your blog and you ACTIVELY and viscously hate Cas, Charlie, Claire, Kaia and the implication that Jack may not be straight. You’ve said Cas coming out as gay and in love with dean makes the rest of his actions predatory, compared him to a teenage girl, called him creepy, and openly rejoiced in your idea that dean looked ‘disgusted with him’. You said that Claire is awful, that Kaia is a wooden plank, that they ‘shoved them together’ for ‘woke points’ and said that Jody saying Claire was IN LOVE WITH Kaia ‘doesnt count’ and called it ‘lip service’. And it doesn’t end there! After all this, you said that you preferred the old better s4 Claire. Is it because she was ostensibly straight? Are you uncomfortable with queer women? And then you have the audacity to use these characters (Claire and Kaia and Charlie) as reasons to epicly own the Hellers and claim they already have represention. You are a completely disingenuous bitch and I don’t care to be nice to you anymore! I don’t feel AT ALL charitable toward you anymore, and I don’t care if you have gay ships. Gay people aren’t here for you to fetishize! You CONSTANTLY mock and ridicule jokes made by queer people regarding deans bisexuality or Cas being gay or any number of things. You constantly reaffirm that Dean is straight and call people who think otherwise delusional and disgusting, while you think dean is in romantic sexual love with his male sibling. You are openly hostile to the idea of non-binary jack and were pissed that Alcal endorsed that. You devalue Jack’s value and relationship to Cas who is, textually, his father figure. I have NO reason not to think that you are homophobic. I don’t care anymore! You’re a huge bitch and, judging by your prior responses and posts, a genuine dialogue regarding queerness in spn is impossible. You regard any instance of canonically queer moments ‘lip service’ and so regard it. You actively hate every canonically gay character and degrade them using traditionally homophobic tropes and stereotypes.

Feel free to explain how you aren’t homophobic. I’m so sorry if I got the wrong impression.

ME: Wow I see your true colors have come out HELLER.

THEM: Idc if you think I’m mean. Go ahead and make a post about me lol, have fun with it. Give me a moment to respond to your paragraph it’s... a lot to dissect.

I’ll touch on your comments about the dub and the Spanish language in a moment. First though

I ’m gonna be real with you, I don’t think you know what death of the author is. Neil Gaiman’s variety of the dead author principal is that once canon ends, the story belongs to those that consume and engage with it. That’s... also literally the theme of supernaturals final season. Anyway I really recommend you read up on death of the author and Neil Gaiman’s takes on fanon. It’s a fun way to consume your media, and in the end that’s what I’m here for.

I don’t care what Misha says, and I don’t care what Jensen says! I think they are both queer because I have eyes and watched the show. I think it’s a lovely narrative that is supported by canon, and it’s fine if you disagree with that

On your last sentence there... lol. It’s a common joke in queer circles that gays can’t sit properly, specifically bisexuals. Same thing with the clothing, it’s a SUPER common joke for example that lesbians wear flannel. Maybe you need to go outside and talk to some normal, non-incest shipping queer people. But what do I know!

And finally... ‘the Spanish dub isnt canon’

I am literally cuban. My first language is SPANISH. my entire household speaks Spanish, and my family past 1st cousins don’t speak any English. My Boricua cousins have watched supernatural in full for years, and they watch it in Spanish. Do you think America is the center of the universe? Do you think our media is somehow less than yours, that our interpretations of English language media isn’t valid? What, do you think we are idiots who don’t know how to analyze literature and media? Do you think the people who work at Telemundo, people employed as dubbers and translators, you think they do a worse job than the American crew?

Why, because they aren’t American or don’t speak English? ‘Te amo’ said to a non family member is, in 99% of any instance, ROMANTIC. it’s something you say to your spouse in serious situations like weddings!! Even MARRIED people don’t normally say te amo, everyone uses te quiero unless it is very serious or romantic in context.

All of my family who are Spanish language, they heard dean say ‘y a yo ti, cas’ and think that they were in romantic love. Sorry dude! The United States might be the center of your universe, but Latin America is HUGE. Spanish is one of the most spoken languages in the WORLD. In fact, more people speak Spanish than English. Sorry that you seem to hate gay characters SO MUCH you have to say an entire language somehow isn’t valid to consume media in!

ME:

Obviously this heller is batshit crazy.

Some of those things she thinks I said just show she has no idea how to follow a tumblr thread.

You are a completely disingenuous bitch and I don’t care to be nice to you anymore! I don’t feel AT ALL charitable toward you anymore, and I don’t care if you have gay ships. Gay people aren’t here for you to fetishize! You CONSTANTLY mock and ridicule jokes made by queer people regarding deans bisexuality or Cas being gay or any number of things. You constantly reaffirm that Dean is straight and call people who think otherwise delusional and disgusting, while you think dean is in romantic sexual love with his male sibling.

Wow.

I have NO reason not to think that you are homophobic. I don’t care anymore! You’re a huge bitch and, judging by your prior responses and posts, a genuine dialogue regarding queerness in spn is impossible. You regard any instance of canonically queer moments ‘lip service’ and so regard it. You actively hate every canonically gay character and degrade them using traditionally homophobic tropes and stereotypes.

Where have I hated canon gay characters and degraded them using tropes and stereotypes? The bitch has me confused with HER FELLOW SHIPPERS.

Gotta love how she is defending the Spanish dub. Hit a nerve did I?

It’s a common joke in queer circles that gays can’t sit properly, specifically bisexuals. Same thing with the clothing, it’s a SUPER common joke for example that lesbians wear flannel. Maybe you need to go outside and talk to some normal, non-incest shipping queer people.

Now who is using stereotypes?

#destiehellers #batshit crazy #your headcanon doesn't mean shit dean is straight #dub doesn't make it canon

23 notes · View notes

roseworth · 3 years

Note

pls tell us more about fitzmom! i want to know her like you do 💛

i am SO glad u asked 🥰 strap in i wrote so much more than i thought i would

(disclaimer these are obviously all headcanons bc fitzmom has no canon personality so every hc i have for her comes from the love in my heart)

so first of all i like the name Celeste for her, i’ve heard a lot of different names for her but i use celeste (mostly because of the word “celestial” bc,,, moon lol)

some quick little things about her before i get into A Lot:

-she’s very sarcastic/snarky (like eugene 😌) but not because she’s a mean person, just bc she thinks it’s funny. she’s very confident and determined (stubborn) because if she knows what she wants, she’s not going to let anyone get in her way. this can often become a fault because she unintentionally steps on others or ignores their wishes if she thinks she’s right.

-she also wants to get along with everybody, and she’s a little rapunzel-ish in the way that if she doesnt get along with someone she’s Stresses Out and needs to make them like her

-also she’s bi. no reason other than that there’s no way i can look at her and think “straight woman”

i’m gonna put the rest of this under a cut bc it got,,, a lot longer than i expected sorry 😳 i just care very deeply about her

she wasn’t born into royalty. she grew up in the Dark Kingdom and lived there for years, but she was just a normal person for most of her life. her dad left when she was young so she was raised by her mom. when she was in her early 20s, her mom died and that was what pushed her to leave the dark kingdom for a bit. for the next few years she journeyed around the world and visited other kingdoms just to see what it was like, but the dark kingdom was always her home. she was in her late 20s when she came back to the dk

when she came back home, she expected to just settle back into a normal life, but she ended up meeting a dude that just happened to be the king. she didn’t even realize that he was the king at first bc she didnt bother paying much attention to what the royalty was up to. but one day someone says “so i saw you’ve been spending a lot of time with the king ;)” and she just says “haha what? that’s not the king that’s just ed.” and they have to tell her that he’s actually the king. when she asks why he never told her, he just said that he assumed she knew and didn’t care (and he was right, she didn’t care, but she at least would’ve liked to know 😔)

the two of them get closer. she thinks that he’s the weirdest person she’s ever met (in a good way) and he gets all flustered around her whenever she smiles. nerd.

she also cares a lot about the kingdom. it’s her home and she grew up with lots of the people in it, so she wants to protect all the citizens even before she becomes queen. she also is used to the Moonstone causing problems and wants to find a way to stop it just as much as anyone. she reads a lot about the history of the Moonstone and the different research that’s been conducted on it to see if there’s a connection she can find or a way to stop it. she doesn’t find anything, but she doesn’t like giving up.

edmund proposes to her, ofc she says yes bc she loves that nerd and wants to spend her life with him. technically there are rules against royalty marrying commoners but a) he’s the king so he does what he wants, b) she knows what she wants and won’t take no for an answer, and c) she knows almost the entire kingdom and everyone loves her so no one cares that they’re breaking one dumb rule

she tries to bond with the brotherhood and she soon finds out that they’re all just as weird as edmund and she LOVES it. she bonds with quirin and hector pretty much instantly. when she finds out quirin knows a little bit about farming (he farms as a hobby on the side. what a loser) she asks him to teach her everything bc she loves nature and likes to learn how to grow things. since she’s traveled a lot, she can connect with hector since he has random animals that he’s just kind of collected from places he’s been. he has a rhino that he just… brought home one day. she thinks that’s the coolest thing ever

but she has a bit of trouble making friends with adira since adiras really closed off and likes to keep herself distant. that doesn’t stop celeste from trying. she offers to help with adiras training. even though adira is stronger than her, she assumes she could hold her own for long enough in a sparring match. it doesn’t go well, so she tries a different tactic.

they end up comparing research on the Moonstone, and adira tells her about her Sundrop theory. they go on a little quest to see if they can find anything about the Sundrop. they don’t find anything, but after adventuring together for days, they finally feel Connected to each other. adiras never had a girl friend since most of the people she spends time with are the brotherhood. so she thinks it’s nice that she has someone that is willing to spar with her and go searching for long lost magical artifacts #justgirlythings

celeste always wanted a big family. she has so much love to give to everyone and she just always imagined having children. when she first got pregnant she was ECSTATIC. she found a way to mention it in every conversation she had, no matter who it was with

but as it got closer to her delivery date, she was starting to get scared. she didn’t want to screw it up, and she wanted her kid to feel happy and loved all the time. she felt like it was so much pressure to have this kid that she had to raise to be happy and okay and make sure that the child was ready for the world. then she started stressing out over every little choice she made as if getting the wrong crib meant the world was going to explode

edmund talked to her about it and assured her that they were in this TOGETHER and no matter what happened, they would love their child. sometimes things were out of their hands, but they would make sure that that child had all the love in the world :’) that reassured her a bit, and she tried to work on letting go of control.

but then the Moonstone started getting worse than usual. now she not only wanted to protect her kingdom, but make the best life for her kid. it started up about a month before she gave birth, and she was getting nervous about what was going to happen.

after she gave birth to a lovely little boy, she kept an eye on the Moonstone. it was only getting worse, and she didn’t want her son to have to deal with it. she tried to stay away from it but she couldn’t ignore it.

when her son is about a month old, she tries to destroy the Moonstone. it doesn’t work. it shoots up a rock and kills her.

edmund is with her in her last moments. she knows she’s about to die and she feels like she failed. she couldn’t save her kingdom or her son. she tries to apologize to her husband because she was dying and she didn’t even get to destroy the moonstone. she just wanted to keep everyone safe and she failed. edmund promises her that he will make sure everyone is safe. that makes her feel better

she tells him that she loves him. she asks him to keep their son protected and happy. then she dies in his arms.

her death impacted everyone in and out of the kingdom. people everywhere were mourning the loss of the queen of the dark kingdom.

everyone in the brotherhood became more closed off after that. after her death, quirin swore to not get any more loved ones involved in the Moonstone if he could avoid it. he knows how dangerous it is and won’t lose anyone else he cares about to it. hector acts like he doesnt care as much as he does and tries to cover up the issue with anger. he knows that she was looking for the Sundrop with adira, and he wonders if that research is what made the Moonstone angry. he decides that if moonstone=bad and sundrop=moonstone, then sundrop=bad. adira is also extremely hurt, because she barely takes her walls down to form connections with people. so then one of the only times she allows herself to get close to someone, she ends up getting hurt. so she puts her walls back up and refuses to make more close relationships out of fear that it will hurt more when she loses them.

so basically no one is dealing with their loss in a healthy way

edmund is definitely not dealing with it well. he loved her with all his heart and doesn’t know how to go on without her. he realized that his son was in danger the longer he stayed in the dark kingdom, and so were the rest of the citizens. so he literally pushes everyone away and makes them leave. he doesn’t want his son to be constantly weighed down by the threat of the Moonstone, and he wanted to keep everyone safe the way he should’ve done for her. so he sends everyone away and pretty much spends the next 25 years wallowing in guilt. he never got the chance to process the grief because everyone was sent away so abruptly. in the empty castle, at first he to her every day and over time he just naturally starts voicing all of his thoughts to fill the silence

anyways years and years later, after the series, eugene wants to learn more about his mom but no one likes talking about her (bc no one ever bothered processing their grief so they just ignore it now) so he goes through old dk files and records by himself and tries to find anything about her. he finds the pages and pages of research she did about the moonstone but can’t really find much about who she was as a person

eventually he asks adira about the research they did together to try to learn more about her. adira tells him about their time researching together, and eventually tells him about her. adira says that ever since the forest of no return, she had her suspicions that eugene was Horace just because he reminded her SO MUCH of celeste that she wondered if they were related.

eugene is happy to know that he’s so much like his mom, since he spent his entire life imagining what she was like without knowing who she was. eventually he gets his dad to talk about her, and edmund realized he felt better about it when he could tell stories about the happy parts of their life together instead of replaying her death over and over in his head

okay i think that’s all i have for now i’m sorry i wrote so much i just Love this character whose personality i completely made up

#everyone please tell me your fitzmom headcanons #i love hearing about my girl and i want to know what everyone else thinks of her #i wrote most of this at 4 am #i was planning on just writing a little bit then it got away from me #i just have a lot of feelings about her #im almost glad she didn’t get any canon development bc i’m afraid chris would ruin her 😔#WAIT AMDHFKSKA MORE THINGS I DIDNT INCLUDE:#first of all when eugene heard his dad talking about his mom it made him think of himself and rapunzel #just because of how much edmund loved and cared about his wife #eugenes like :0 omg I ALSO love and care about my wife!!!!#but i didn’t include it bc that’s more new dream centric and i wanted this to at least mostly stay centered around fitzmom #and another thing i didn’t include #i once heard a hc that quirin and fitzmom are siblings and i love that so much #i didn’t include it bc it doesn’t fit with my Vision™️#and also i don’t remember who originally said it and i don’t want to say it w/o credit 😔#tangled #fitzmom #eugene

16 notes · View notes

mcmactictac · 3 years

Note

Hi 🙋‍♂️

What do you think about jasons death ? In my opinion it made sense because it made the emprrors seem like a true threat but in the other hand i wish his character arc had been finished before that . Jason was suppossed to be a Bridge between greeks and romans and yet we barely See him in that role.Also i would have loved to See platonic jiper .... .....

Oh I have SO many thought about this I’m so glad you asked.

Here’s the thing. Jason had the potential to be a really interesting character in hero’s of olympus, but a lot of it was tossed to the side because there was so much other stuff going on with the plot. I know everyone complained about how boring he was and how he did literally nothing. Although his character has amazing potential, it was never going to be properly explored.

The one thing they could do to Jason’s character to make him more interesting and sympathetic is kill him off. Although it frustrates me that his death is really only there for Apollo’s development, it made his character more interesting. I feel like it adds threats we don’t usually see with demigods.

Within the first series they talk a lot about how demigods usually don’t make it past like 20, but then no one really dies beside in the war. I think Jason’s death is a good way to show that accidents happen on quests, even the most qualified and put together person can slip up, can lose and can die just as easily as everyone else.

I know I personally found Jason’s character the most interesting in the burning maze because he’s given something he wants. He’s in school, he’s not in a relationship with Piper so his character arc centers around himself, not around his relationship, and he wants to rebuild camp Jupiter. He doesn’t just have a goal he has to complete, he has something that he WANTS.

This makes his death hurt way more because Jason really hasn’t had anything he cared about for? His character was very responsibility and mission driven, so to see him focus on something for himself only to have it ripped away? Very interesting. It makes his feel ty more impactful because it wasn’t the end of his arc, he had things he wanted and like he wasn’t DONE. And he wasn’t expecting to die like he was on a quest

That being said because I am petty. Blood of olympus had very low stakes for me. The climax was over pretty quickly and although I know it’s a children’s book like. No one actually “dying” felt like a cop out. The whole series has been building up to that with the promise someone is going to die and then Leo has an anticlimactic “death” before coming right back. I wanted to see one of them get like. A really rough ending I guess? Obviously I love them all and I wouldn’t want any of them to hurt but like. To spill the blood, someone should have died. Someone should have sacrificed themselves to protect someone else. And it should have been a clear death, a permanent there’s no coming back where you see the body. When I read the book I assumed Rick didn’t do it just because it’s a children’s book and since we get POV’s from everyone it would be kind of graphic for kids to see that character die but like.

If we were going to properly kill someone, I wish we did it in hero’s of olympus. Although I think Jason’s death sets good stakes in trials of Apollo, he really didn’t get much to work with character wise. He should have been killed off In his own series where he was one of the people who was SUPPOSED to die. It would have been better for his character since we could have the POV’s of Piper, Leo and people who are really invested in him, not just Apollo.

Now I have many many thoughts about where Jason’s character should have gone especially since everyone in HOO had such interesting backstories that were just kind of thrown away and not talked about again. Like. (Tw for suicide skip to next paragraph to avoid it)

I wanna talk about Percy and his clearly suicidal tendencies. How quickly he gave up once they landed in the river, how much he struggled when he was “drowning”. I wanted to see him have some ptsd from that. A percy who can’t stay long underwater because it sends him into a panic attack. Same with Frank he had so much potential with that stick and it was just. Not there. Now correct me if this did happen I haven’t read the books in a while but I want to see a Frank who lights it on purpose, to try and save other people. Frank who screws up on a big mission, gets people hurt and sits on his bed with a lighter in one hand and the stick in the other. He was responsible for so many deaths he thinks, shouldnt i die a bit too? I know these are dark topics for a kids book but I think it’s important to talk about them and expose them to the concept so they feel less alone if they have that.

An Annabeth who’s tired, and done, and DOESNT have all the answers anymore. Shes an anxious kid who keeps losing everything, and she can’t always keep everything together. At some point, she should have cracked. Lost control for a bit and broke down, before putting the pieces back together. It’s not functional to keep being that high strung all the time. A Hazel who is terrified of herself, who won’t touch other people because her mother would say things like “you ruin everything you touch”. A Hazel who has to address and unpack the trauma from being a young child forced to care for her bad mother, dealing with her own problems and coping with her literal death. That’s way too much for a 14 year old to handle and be as stable as she is. Especially after getting thrown back into the mortal world.

A leo who has to fight the urge to run away. He’s been running for so long, when things get bad on the Argo he runs down and packs a bag. And he goes to run because he learned he just makes things worse, no one wants him and they’ll all be better if he just leaves. But this time someone stops him. Percy is there and he helps Leo because he’s been there before. And Percy doesn’t try to trap him there, if he needs to go he needs to go. But he lets him know that he’s valued here and this isn’t a place he needs to run anymore. Leo who finally feels safe for the first time in years who silently goes back downstairs and unpacks his bag. He sits silently and cries on his bed because he feels SEEN. A Piper who struggled more with her sexuality!!! I would have loved to see the POV of a child of Aphrodite who thinks she might like girls too. Piper who isn’t Just “Jason and Piper” or “Leo and Piper” but Is just PIPER. Her character isn’t tied into everyone else’s, and is given a chance to be her own person, explore herself,

And a Jason who is his own. Not just a leader or a figurehead but just JASON. Who’s allowed to have a personality, to explore, figure out what role he wants to have. A Jason who isn’t rooted in duty anymore, but wants to live his life. Jason who lives for himself, not for other people.

But we were never going to get that, so yeah I think it was a good but tragic end to his character. Makes him more likeable, gives him a final little bit of personality before writing him out. But yeah!! Thanks for asking!

#percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #Jason grace #Jason grace desth #Leo valdez #piper mclean #annabeth chase #hazel levesque #frank zhang #pjo #hoo #trials of Apollo #toa

10 notes · View notes

writesowhatnext · 4 years

Text

ninety-nine percent humidity // frank castle

Summary: mute!reader is a vigilante who takes a bit of a hit on a recent… mission – good job Frankie’s there to help out

Request: hi i hope i can make this request. could you write a punisher imagine, frank x reader where the reader is mute ( if thats alright with you) and he saves her one night after the reader gets attacked. he takes the reader to his place to take care of their wounds and asks about what happend but the reader doesnt respond. he comforts her for a bit and then lets her sleep. in the morning during breakfast when he tries to talk to her he finds out she is mute. hope this is alright :)

A/N: this was quite similar to something else I’ve done so I tried to switch it around a little

Reader: unspecified, mute, vigilante

Warnings: swearing, crime scene, dead bodies, gun, injury,

Frank was, for lack of a better word, fucking tired of the weather. Hell’s Kitchen had taken itself too seriously in the recent days: the stink of sweat clung to everything and the beat-up little fan he bought from the second-hand store did nothing but blow hot air around his room. The August heat was borderline unbearable, so much so that he found himself almost grateful that his job required a nocturnal approach. Not today, though. It was still early, thankfully, and the sun was low in the sky and whilst the hum of the city was close and almost claustrophobic, you couldn’t yet fry an egg on the sidewalk. A win, he supposed. His carefully collected intel, a string of nearly incomprehensible words dragged from the mouth of a low-level gang member at the threat of Frank’s fist, suggested that the morning would be the best time to dispose of the unwanted stain on the city.

As he drew closer to the bar, a little one-room joint tucked away behind a laundrette, he stopped, staring at the door. It looked like someone had beat him to it.

The door was wide open and, even from fifty feet away, he could see blood staining the bottom, something heavy preventing it from closing. Frank glanced around, making sure no one could see him, before jogging forward. He stopped at the door, looking down at the face of a man who’d been dead for a few hours now – he could tell by the smell. He grunted, fishing a piece of cloth from his pocket and holding it his nose, using his other hand to grab his gun from his waistband. He aimed it in front of him, stepping past the first dead body and into what looked like a massacre.

His eyebrows furrowed as he took in the scene around him, and with a sharp exhale into the scarf-material, he shoved the man out of the way with his foot and shut the door behind him, his stomach turning slightly. It wasn’t even that hot yet, but the bodies around him were already looking worse for wear. There was a distinct smell of decay lingering in the air and flies were already circling. It’d been a while since Frank had seen a crime scene like this. There must’ve been a dozen men spread out on the floor, riddled with bullets and drenched in their own blood. He recognised most of them as gang members, ones he’d been itching to bang up for a while before he’d been beaten to the punch. Quite literally. He was a man of precision and efficiency, not usually one to dwell in the morbidity of shit like this, but Frank had to admire the clean execution. Whoever had done this was talented and coordinated – he’d never seen anything like it.

Moving further in, he sidestepped past outstretched limbs and broken glass, the soles of his shoes sticking to the thickening blood on the floor. He’d expected twelve members but as he counted, from left to right and then right to left, there were too many. Sat up against the bar itself, was a decidedly less bloody body, though that was a relatively easy task given the state of the room, with a blood-stained shirt and a gun by their hand. He frowned and stalked closer; his gun trained on the unknown victim. He kicked the gun on the floor away with his foot before bending slowly down. He didn’t recognise the face at all – regardless, it definitely didn’t belong in a place like this. Dropping the cloth for a moment, Frank leant over to press his fingers to their wrist when, like a zombie from the dead, the body lurched to life and between shades of red, he could see the whites of someone’s eyes.

You heaved when you woke up, gasping for air. Your rib cage ached dully and your chest felt tight as you sat forward, wildly looking around you. Where were you? The only thing that had fully registered with you when you noticed the rugged man pointing a gun in your face, was how sticky your skin felt, a layer of sweat collecting between it and the humid air. You inhaled through your nose a few times before the pain in your stomach sent a wave of nausea over you. You pressed your hand into your side, head swimming as your palm came back bloody. You felt sick.

“Who are you?” the man asked, his voice serious. His gun was serious, too and he held it like a man who knew how to use it. You frowned, the two hazy images of him in your mind overlapping when you squinted.

“I said-“

Before he could finish, you jerked forward to see the bodies around you, your memory flooding back. The man didn’t flinch, but the grip on his gun tightened. You blinked a few times, breathing heavily as you remembered why you were there. Individually, you scanned over each of the bodies you could see, making sure they were dead. They had to be dead.

“Did you do that?” the man asked, tilting his head toward the pile of bodies you’d left in your wake. You nodded slowly, wincing as a rush of pain shot through your skull.

Frank clenched his jaw, unsure what exactly to make of it all. With a wound like that, you wouldn’t last very long and with weather like this, it wouldn’t be long until the smell of the mass grave you’d created drew some attention.

He relaxed and then clenched his jaw again before shoving his gun back in his waistband and turning to face you.

“I’m gonna take you back to my place and clean you up, okay?”

He moved to touch you and with fervent protest, you flinched away, causing another ebb of pain from your side. Where did you put your gun?

“Hey,” he said, raising his hands in surrender, drawing your attention from the floor. “If you stay here you die, or you get caught. You come with me, the only problem you have is dying.”

Not his finest reasoning, he’ll admit, but he didn’t have the time to convince you properly and he figured, with it only getting hotter and your blood leaking out, you didn’t really have a choice. He was right.

You frowned, biting your lip as you tried to push yourself up from the floor.

“Let me help,” the man suggested gruffly, watching your struggle. With a hard swallow, you nodded and his large hands slotted under your arms and lifted you to your feet; helpful, yet anything but smooth. Being upright made you feel light-headed and so, with less chagrin than you’d have had fully conscious, you leant into his side, your other hand pressed against your stomach. Each step felt like a game where the room was spinning and you were on roller skates. You didn’t even remember passing out.

Frank cursed his luck when before he’d even left the bar, you’d become dead weight against him. With an eye roll and a grunt, he picked you up and stepped over the actually dead bodies, out into the city. It had gotten even hotter and now with your extra weight to carry, sweat dripped from his forehead. He stalled behind corners and tried to muddy his bloody footprints and essentially sprinted to his apartment, not ready nor willing to answer questions about your bloodied shirt or the gaping bullet wound. Not this early in the morning. He carried you up the stairs and through his door and set your down as gently as he could onto his couch, leaving to fetch some supplies.

Waking up in a strange place never sat well for you, especially when you were bleeding heavily and sweating like a whore in church. You went to sit up, but could only grit your teeth when the pain in your side made you woozy. Black spots clouded the corner of your vision. But then, the man returned. You couldn’t help your suspicion at his kindness, or his presence at the bar. He didn’t look like a cop and he didn’t look like a gangbanger. So, why was he there? You must’ve dropped out of it again because when you woke up, the pain was blunter. Even your brain felt a little numb. And there he was, standing over you, your knight in shining Kevlar.

“Water’s there,” he said softly, pointing to a glass on the table next to your head.

You went to reach over, acutely aware of the pulling sensation in your side. You lifted up your bloodied shirt to see your waist bandaged, no blood leaking through the white material. As you looked over to him, he shifted his weight to the other leg.

“I have the bullet if you want to keep it.”

You couldn’t tell if he was joking; you drank the water anyway.

“There’s a cut on your back,” he came closer, something that didn’t thrill you in your current state. “I didn’t want to turn you over until you were awake.”

You nodded slowly. He hadn’t hurt you so far – actually, all he’d done was help you. That had to count for something, right?

You took your time sitting up and turning around to give him permission. He frowned and paused.

“You don’t talk much.”

Frank thought about it as he cleaned up your scratch with some antibacterial bullshit Karen had forced into his cupboard. He wasn’t a chatty person by any means, but he hadn’t heard you say a word. Not a single word. He thought maybe it was a safety thing, but he did find you lying on the floor of a bar, bleeding out. So, safety didn’t seem to be that high on your priority list.

“Name’s Frank,” he grunted, pressing a bandage over your shoulder and leaning back, surveying his handiwork. You didn’t know whether you wanted to give him your name yet.

“You can stay here tonight.”

The night was considerably less hot than the day, but it was sticky and wet and clingy all the same. You’d thrown off the thin comforter Frank had given you almost immediately and as you lay there on his couch, thinking about your mission, you debated leaving. It was obvious that nothing good would come from staying in Frank’s home. You guessed he’d been there to kill that gang and you’d just gotten there first and whilst it may have been hypocritical, you didn’t know how you felt about him, about that. Nothing was stopping him from killing you right there and then, but he didn’t, for some reason. Though you hadn’t meant to, you drifted to sleep thinking about Frank and whether you were making a mistake being there.

The smell of eggs woke you up and, without much of a thought process, you sat up to find the source. The wound on your side pulled horribly and you found yourself groaning a little at the sensation. From the couch, though, you could see the kitchen and you could see Frank. His back was turned to you as he stood at the hob, frying pan in hand. There was a knife on the table between you and you thought, for a brief second, how easy it would be to kill him. You didn’t entertain the thought, though. He heard the padding of your feet against the floor as you walked over and turned to face you standing next to an empty pizza-box he hadn’t gotten around to throwing out yet.

“Morning,” he said, snorting slightly as he remembered. “Right.”

You looked around for a moment, spotting a pen shoved into a box on the floor and nearly ripping your dressing again trying to retrieve it. Frank didn’t hear you scribbling on the box, too entranced with the heat and the sound of eggs sizzling. When he didn’t turn around, you frowned and knocked twice on the table, earning his attention and shoving the box toward him.

“Y/N, huh?”

You scribbled again.

“Mute,” he repeated, his brow creasing. He turned toward the hob, flipping the eggs over and humming. “So, you don’t speak.”

You only nodded at that. He found himself feeling protective over you, despite the mess you’d made at the bar.

“What happened yesterday?”

He watched you write in big capital letters, almost missing the eggs burning in the process. ‘I killed them’.

“I know,” he shoved the eggs onto a white plate, thrusting it onto the pizza box along with a fork. “Why?”

Your stomach grumbled at the sight of the eggs, but you started writing again anyway.

‘They killed my family’.

His chest tightened a little at the familiarity of your circumstances when he looked at your face. You weren’t looking at him, too concentrated on eating the eggs he’d given you.

“You did good, kid.”

Whatever you expected him to say, that was not it, and as you stood there, shovelling the eggs into your mouth as if you were possessed, you found yourself feeling particularly grateful he’d been the one to find you.

the punisher tag list:

@xinyourdreamsx

#the punisher imagine #the punisher #frank castle #frank castle x reader #frank castle imagine #writing #imagine

175 notes · View notes

camelely · 4 years

Text

13rw S4 Fix

So i did one of these for last season and I think now that I’ve had some time to think about S4 I’ll do the same. While last season I thought the issue was one character being overused. But here it seems like there were multiple smaller things that could have improved the whole season Again I’m keeping the same basic plotline and characters :)

1) Winston

Have Winston stay at Hillcrest. Him moving to Liberty did nothing for the main plot and he was basically a red herring through most of it. Let him try are befriend the characters from the outside. He can learn about Jess from Bryce’s trial and the news coverage and then try to befriend her at Monet’s. This is where he meets and later starts to date Alex. Since he doesn’t go to liberty school Alex sees him as a sort of escape and lets him in. Clay and Ani dont tell everyone about him because they dont know he is trying to get close to them. It makes them seem less like assholes and more like people. They don’t mention his connection to Monty because they dont realize how close he is getting to answers. Clay can still suspect he did the graffiti, after all it was a break in and a non student could have done that. Plus Estella is another red herring in the school. She serves that purpose so let Winston be the outsider looking in. His arc would still be about knowing a different Monty and not knowing who is was at Liberty but now he is literally the outsider who didn’t really get Monty, rather than it just being a figurative thing at the prom. You can still have the prom scene it would just be entirely imagined rather than the half imagined thing they went with. I think they overused the people talking to ghosts thing so here it would be a fantasy of Monty and the relationship they had rather then a representation of what could have been. However I don’t think this would have retracted from the point. Also play him up, he is a sympathetic antagonist and it sucks how much he is sidelined for Diego. I didn’t hate Diego but Winston and him basically went through the same arc. They were pro Monty and ending up dating a member of the group, couldnt believe that member was involved and then learned something about Bryce and Monty agreed to move on and just did. All while saying they will alway care for that member of the group. It was an unnecessary rehash. Having WInston be the outsider looking in and Diego the insider looking out also lets their characters compliment each other. They should still work together, just have Winston contact him looking for Monty’s friends. It’s simple.

2) Tyler and Tony

Oh Tyler. The character who seems to be in the middle of everything despite never doing anything himself. I didn’t mind his arc of helping the cops find the guys who sold the illegal guns. But Tony’s suspicions, eventually leading to Clay and Tony finding out the truth and just moving on never really go anywhere. I think it would be cool if Tyler tells Tony, despite the cops telling him not to tell anyone, because he trusts Tony. But Tony, who has had bad run ins with the cops, thinks it is a bad idea. He doesn’t want Tyler taking the deal. Tyler says its the only way the guns wont be traced back to them but Tony thinks teh cops are planning to double cross them to mind out more about Bryce and Monty. At the same time he starts getting close to that cop that takes him boxing and helps him get into college (i dont remember his name for the life of me lol). Tyler sees this as being hypocritical and pulls away. Tony still suspects Tyler is behind the lock down because he is pulling away and Tony is getting paranoid. The rest of their story can still be the same but this way they can show Tony’s paranoia and his loyalty.

As for Tyler and Estella, It was fine. The scene of them in the bathroom was really powerful, being in the bathroom with a de la cruz and becoming comfortable because isnt her brother was really nice. This could even be another reason Tony and Tyler fight. Tony can be paranoid that Tyler is trusting her too quickly and think she will turn on him.

3) Jess

Her arc with the principal, being scared and agreeing with the security measures before she sees them in action was really interesting. Focus more on it and less on her manipulating Diego. I did like parts of that arc for her so I don’t want it completely gone but I do think focusing on her working with the principal would have been cool. I would call more attention to her first meeting and her agreeing with the measures and slowly show her change her mind and start to turn against them. Maybe even have an early scene of her and ANi talking about it and have Jess admit she feels safer. Move the creepy cop trying to pat her down to the second or third day. So she can have a moment where they make her feel safe before the negative experience. I loved the protest and a bit better build up would have made it amazing

Her arc with Ani. They fought over Bryce... It should have been a conversation. Not a moment where Ani judges Diego and then they argue. I still think this arc should have been Chloe and Jess and should have been in last season. But they had the opportunity to include Chloe this season and just didnt. I’ll talk about this a bit more in the Zach section but I think Chloe should have been at Prom and the moment between the Ani Jess and Chloe should have been then. It would be right after Jess and Ani made up and would have been cool.

I don’t think she should have had scenes where she saw and talked to Bryce. Yes it created some powerful moments but they could be reworked. Have WInston use his wealth to commission a positive thing in the paper about Bryce and Monty and have her talk to his idealized photo of Bryce. I will mention it in the Clay section but her hallucinations detracted from his journey with mental health.

4) Clay

Okay two thing here the first is his arc with mental health, hallucinations, and blackouts. They used it for drama and I wish they hadnt. It should have been about him healing. I didnt mind the way they handled the realization for clay that it was him doing everything (Did they explain the symbol he kept drawing because I missed it if they did? or i just forgot because it was that forgettable lol) but I think the whole thing could have been handled a lot better and a more educated fan then I can provide a better explanation for what exactly was off about it. I will say the the therapy sessions were repetitive and I know thats realistic but for a tv show its boring. The scene were Clay goes to his home was weird and low key scary. I understand the purpose but I wish he had called him and asked to meet at his office instead. A more likable and relatable journey for Clay with his mental health would be really good for a show that was accused of glorying suicide (personally i dont think it did. My inbox is open if you wanna talk though :))

The second thing is the phantom phone caller. I hate this trope so it might just be me but this is so stale. There are exactly two ways it could go. The person could know everything and be a real problem or the person could be fishing for information and not be a real problem. The whole thing was predicable since Winston had red herring written all over him, Estella was barely developed, and on this show it is always the football guys. Instead let the pranks be smaller and less crazy. Like these boys had to coordinate a lot to mess with Clay. There should be more than one prank and end with a Monty doll and Clay holding a knife to set up the camp episode. But they should be pranks, not the phantom caller psychological torture bs. The blood shower can also happen just on a different day. Clay can be confused about what is real and what isnt making him even more worried about his blackouts and again assuming the mental health arc is handled well, the pranks can be a real part of it. Dumping him in the pit on the camping trip also seemed kinda attempted murdery so maybe do something like tie him to a tree of the path or in a small dirt ditch not a rocky pit where if he hit his head or fell weird the team would all be murderers.

5) Alex

His arc with Charlie was one of my favorite stories this season. I was also not bothered by him getting close to and exploring his sexuality with Winston and Zach. I’m in the minority but I’m glad Zalex wasn’t made canon and Zach was used to be an effective (kinda) ally and good friend. Plus this way Zalex can live on in the fandom untouched or ruined by the writers interpretation.

They should have given us Alex in therapy. He tried to kill himself had a traumatic injury, an arc with steroid abuse, and an arc about killing someone. All of which were forgotten this season. All the other characters seemed to be dealing with Bryce and Monty, why not focus on Alex? Even if it isnt in therapy just let him exist in his feelings.

6) Zach

I have one major issue with Zach’s arc, the lack of Chloe. She was the reason he almost killed a man. Let them date, let him start to spiral while dating her. She doesnt know what he did. Have them grow apart on screen but her still connecting to him and not wanting to give up on him. They should go to prom together. I know the hooker was supposed to represent Zach turning into Bryce with the hookers and the drunken sex/potential rape and cocaine. But Chloe fills the same comparison. He brings cocaine she is not okay with it, He tries to convince her to have sex in the back she is not having it. Maybe he tries to convince maybe it becomes a bit worse than that but she breaks up with him at prom and leaves early. She sees Bryce in him, she doesnt have to say it but you can see it on her face and she walks away when her mind and heart tells her to this time no making excuses. Boom Chloe actually has an arc. As for Zach this is a big wake up call for him he sees what we had become. I know it is later in the actual show but I think it should be in the prom episode so he can have a better conclusion in the finale, like the other characters. The whole season was a downward spiral and I wish we got to see more of him pulling himself out of it. If the whole finale is him getting better even though he wont be all the way done he will be in a better place up the end.

7) Justin

Okay the hard one. I think the writers really wanted to kill him. I mean a fan favorite, who did bad things, and the death would be in the series finale. this is a tv writer’s drug of choice. So I’m gonna do a fix where I still kill him first then to the ideal version. Ok so first Justin dies. No HIV/AIDS. It was out of nowhere, unneeded, and seemed a bit insensitive. If you want it to be related to his drug use, make it so he got a bad batch when he relapsed. Or maybe organ failure. If it doens’t need to be drug related it can be an accident or someone he knew on the streets getting revenge, like that drug dealer we spent time with last season. Or if Justin helps Tyler put the gun salesmen behind bars then have it be retaliation for that. He can still go to the hospital and have goodbyes but it wont be an aids diagnosis and death in the same episode. I know they had signs in earlier episodes but the timeline is still really fucked up...

An ideal ending would have him live. He can still pass out at Prom. The diagnosis can be a combination of stress and withdrawal symptoms.He can be the red herring for the person in the coffin. If Justin lives he can represent hope. He can show the audience that you can get better and things can work out. Even if you are sick and think you will die you can do better be better and live in a better world. Plus I love him and really wanted him to be happy. The message would be you can get out of a bad situation and wold have ended a sad series on a positive note. Even if you are a bad person. Even if you have bad circumstance. Even if it feels like the world is against you, it can get better if you put in the effort. Which felt like the message the show was going for in eariler seasons by showing the people on the tapes doing better but abandoned this last season.

So who would I put in the coffin. Ani’s mom. Now I know she wasn’t a well liked character and her mom wouldn’t have the same audience or character reaction Justin’s death did. But this version isn’t about making the audience sad. Ani would finally have a plot that was really about her, her mom died, Bryce’s mom basically wants to provide for her. And she isn’t sure what to do. Justins funeral felt like it was overshadowed by graduation anyway. Now Ani’s moms absence and the funeral being overshadowed both make sense. She is going to college and doing what she can to honor her mom. And the death of a parent causes Clay to immediately appreciate his own family more. The theme in the first season with Clay was appreciating and acting on his feelings for Hannah before she was gone. Ani’s mom dying is a reality check for him and he know the most important things are his family and friends. Justin’s arc was about finding a family and he did. The core of the show is about family, friends, and the importance of a strong support system. And starting it with a mother grieving her daughter and ending it with a daughter grieving her mother would be a cool full circle moment.

This post is really long so if you read all the way down Thank you! :)

184 notes · View notes

idjitlili · 4 years

Text

Gonna need a wheel chair

Bard x reader

A request from @ifitaketwomoresteps

“I noticed you haven’t wrote for bard *shocked emoji*can you write something fluffy and sweet for him?” I cant tell if this what you wanted ,i kinda went mental when i thought of a title...

summary:renting a room from bard only to come home ,to find a bunch of dwarves there,lets just say he doesnt like the looks the dwarves were giving you.

word count:1551 a/n sorry if this isnt great a request from tumblr ,it was my greatnans funeral ,and at the wake I ended up injuring my second biggest toe on a door. po tat TOE.

Okay times were tuff in laketown,people could barely avoid to feed themselves,oh and you were worse you couldn't avoid to home yourself. You had been friends with Bard for many years,well your older brother was that how you knew him. Yeah brothers bestfriend you had developed a crush on him,but in the end he got married and had two children. You were beyond heartbroken,you bottled it all up to hide it from your brother,getting a job in laketowns only pub as a waitress.

At this point you were only a teenager ,you shoud not have fell in love with an older man,yeah. The reason you needed to work was simply you wanted your own freedom to go on adventures,and not live with your parents. Fast forward still saving ,when you hear news of Bards wife dying in childbirth ,he was a widow now. Is that what you call a guy with a dead spouse you werent sure.

In a couple of years later he comes into the pub ,starts talking to you,informs you of how he needs a babysitter for most hours in the day,due to his job. Yeah you were confused why he was telling you this,but it turns out he had spoken to your brother about it ,and he had informed Bard that you were saving to get out of the house. In which you would be happy with just a room,and this caused Bard to offer you a job as his childrens babysitter,and get payed and live with him for free.

You still on weekends worked at the pub,as those were Bards' two days off in the week. This babysitting gig meant free home away from your parents, free food ,money ,only disadvantage was being so close to the man that didnt love you back.This carried on for a couple of years,in which you might aswell be their mother ,being the only motherly figure Tilda had ever known,the other too seem to like you but didnt warm up to you as quickly. Unknowingly to you Bard grew deep feelings for you too,but thought you would never return them as he was father to three children,what could he offer you but barrels from the elven king,Thranduil.

Your parents nagged you everytime they saw you ,asking when you would court someone,as they were scared not ever seeing you in a proper relationship. Your mother would ask if you liked Bard or how was bard oh how are your legs,can you still walk.It was horrific;in honesty.

However on this particular day you had cooked dinner when you had realised there was no more bread, so you would have to run out,telling the children not answer the door to anyone but you and Bard,as he was due back any minute. Only to your luck you had brought the bread ,heading back onlyto run into Alfrid who shamelessly tried flirting with you ,in which you told him "go brush your bloody teeth maggot" in which he did not like that ,and it ended up with you being pushed in the lake ,dropping the bread on the wood before hand.

Your outer dresses and corset pulling you done, making it hard for you swim up. The cold water over taking you ,only choice you had was to cut off the corset and outer dress with the knife located in your sock.

Alfrid laughing at you from the decking ,only to gasp when you come rushing up in just your now very see through dress thing,with shorts on underneath of course. Alfrid had began to walk away when you had pulled yourself up onto the decking grabbing a hold of him ,throwing his bloody hat in the water before punching him square in the nose. Him being a coward had almost fell over ,gasping ,kinda of crying before sprinting off like sonic in embarrassment. YOu had frowned in annoyance about your now ruined new dresses,before picking up the loaf of bread ,heading home.

You had tried to rush back without drawing to much attention the the dress ,and how awful you must look right now,you didnt want these people seeing your breasts.You had swung the door open ,loaf in one arm ,you sorta looked like the terminator,when he holds the present.

This caused a whole bunch of dwarves ,Bard and the childrens eyes to be covered to look at you wide eyed-wait why were there dwarves here. Bard had looked you up and down in shock before taking a blanket from sigrid's arms ,walking to you fast paced wrapping it around you covering you up.

"what in bloody middle earth ,caused you to run around naked?" Bard had whisper shouted at you making you flinch ever so slightly. " I went to go get bread for dinner then after Alfrid." you had whispered to Bard looking down in embarrassment ,you had hoped that he wouldnt have been home and seen so much of you. It was worse that so did a bunch of dwarves that you didnt know did too. "what did he do?OH MY-I'll kill him" he had turned literal red in anger,you had gripped his arm stopping him going past the door. "he only pushed me in the water , the dresses were pulling me down, I had to cut them off. If anything he will leave me alone." you had smirked up proudly at Bard ,who looked at you confused.

"what did you do hm,y/n?" at this point he had pulled you into your room away from the eyes of the dwarves,some more pervy than others. "well first off so you aren't angry with me he was making a move on me again. So I told him to brush his teeth ,and then boom im in the water so then I had to cut my NEW dresses to avoid death,then jumped out like a bloody frog and boom punch him in the face.I swear to god he started crying and ran away." he had chuckled at your emphasising gestures at the words new ,frog and boom,well those were only hand movements but he liked your description.

"he has done this before?why have you never said,I would have sorted him for you." he spoke brushing a stray strand of wet hair from your face with his rough fingers,making you lightly redden.

"yes multiple times, i'm a waitress it happens. Plus I didn't tell you because I dont expect you to protect me,its not your problem." you spoke slightly embarrassed walking to your draws pulling out a pair of trousers and shirt out,before sitting on your bed pulling the shorts off,bard would see anything because your dress was covering,pulling the trousers on. You had shrugged the blanket off standing up,going to pull the dress off,making Bard turn away.

"Its not like you havent seen me nude before. Remember when I tripped with stew and went to change and you burst in to see if I was okay or about the time when-""yeah I get it,its just not very polite to watch a women undress and not give her privacy." he spoke quietly,still facing away as you now pulled your tunic on. In which you had turned him around ,pressing a peck of your lips to his ,before speaking "yeah ,unfortunately for me most of lake town and a bunch of dwarves have seen pretty much everything." you began to walk away to open the door but Bard turns you to face him like you had done to him.

"I really cant tell was that kiss signifying you like me back or?" he had questioned you with his big green eyes,searching for any emotion. You had smirked up nodding ,you dont know what had given you that push to kiss him but it happened. He had grinned widely ,following you . And with that you had walked out your room with the loaf still with you. Only for Tilda to running and jump into your arms once you had reached the kitchen.

"DArn the bread is really squashed now." you had thought but you were happy ,you could already hear your nosy mouth asking "do you need a wheelchair,what kind of sausage is it german or- yeah lets not continue thinking about that. Anyways you end up travelling just not how you expecting ,uhh smuag the terrible. But after that you did go travelling to different kingdoms ,well you had to due to Bard being king of dale,but never less you got to see everything you wanted and you got a family with it.

#bard #bard x #bard x reader #bard the bowman #bard imagines #bard imagine #the hobbit x reader #the hobbit imagine #the hobbit #the hobbit imagines #hobbit imagines #hobbit imagine #hobbit x reader #the hobbit x you #hobbit bard

74 notes · View notes

mychemicalaromanticism · 3 years

Text

things ive already established r on this post

besties this got so fucking long but heres a giant ramble about cherri

okay so. there are huge differences betwn cherri as a hyperviolent drac hunter and cherri as a friend of the four and cherri as the girls mentor. with the first one he was 17 and desperate to distance himself from his upbringing so he went all in on Being A Killjoy. he was always one of the first ppl to rush into a fight and he fought hard. he blew up his fuckin hand with that attitude. and all the while he was just racking up more unaddressed trauma and eventually he ran away from that, too. giving himself radiation poisoning was more appealing than facing his problems.

so as a teenager/young adult hes kind of constantly in a panicked state. hes scared the people from his past are going to find him and drag him back with them. so he lashes out and he runs away over and over again.

i said in another post that he has some past life shit goin on which usually would give him a connection to the witch that manifests early in life, but with all the stuff hes gone through he has been Preoccupied. he can become oblivious to almost anything that doesnt apply to whatever hes focused on. not in a hyperfocus way its likeeeeee. when u live on survival mode during prolonged periods of stress. hes immune to magic bullshit bc hes too tired and scared.

anyways around his mid-20s he finally has a little more stability (as much as the average person living in the zones can have, that is) and he finally notices that Weird Stuff happens around him. basically: out of my list of Powers People Connected To The Witch Have he has the prophetic dreams/enhanced intuition as well as a form of sensing ghosts where he can see auras and kind of like, echoes of past events in ppls lives. that look like auras. itz complicated and not of utmost importance so im leaving it at that.

anyways thats what makes him start writing poetry. just 4 funsies he'll describe his weird experiences and embellish them to make em pretty. just as a casual hobby n all that.

he would forget fun ghoul in between the times they ran into each other but its pretty easy to be reminded of who fun ghoul is. the most insane 10 year old cherri has ever met. cherri isnt a brother figure to ghoul. hes just. his friend that happens to be more than twice his age. its whatever lmao

to cherri, ghoul is kinda like a stray animal he keeps seeing. which is hilarious. ghoul actually goes and finds him to introduce him to jet when they start running together, and cherri meets party and kobra (spark and birdie at the time) when he drives the four of them to a party. because he has a truck hell yeah. so now instead of one stray animal he has, like, a feral cat colony that he drives around occasionally. i have no real-life human relationship equivalent to them because irl if some guy that is not related to any of you and isnt even a childhood or family friend and theyre hanging out with you? they are usually not a safe person lmao. but this is my fantasy land and im too stubborn to change anyones birth years even though ghoul being born in 2004 makes everything really hard to make not creepy.

so yeah hes a casual somewhat friend of the fab four. hed probably get more and more concerned as they got famous. the beginnings of any sort of protective feelings, awww :) that sets him up for becoming the girls mentor.

OH FUCK. THE GIRL..... i think if i was in my late 20s and i heard that the gang of 13-17 year olds had adopted a 5 year old kid i would go bananas. what the fuck. it is a LONG while before cherri meets her. but he has the strongest affection for ghoul (if you could even call it that) and ghoul absolutely adores the girl and swings her around under her arms like a cat to show her off to cherri and its very endearing and the girl is sweet and funny so its easy to be around her. and (unfortunately) she is somewhat used to interacting with weird easily agitated people so she kinda gives him space. cherri isnt quite the uncle figure the fandom usually makes him (i luv uncle cherri sm but he simply cannot exist in the universe ive created, f), but hes a little similar.

and then the four had to go and pretend to die. lol.

when the girl was kidnapped, fucking everyone who knew her was ready to storm the city then and there. like regardless of how little you knew her, if you had ever met her you would fucking die for her. she is pure childish charisma and shes precious. i love the girl. so cherris immediately on board with whatever plan the four make to get her back. ive already talked abt how it fucked up the girl tho; there was no way to tell her that the four werent actually dead, she sees the building collapse and she shuts down. and cherri has to fight against his instinct to leave the radio station and never come back when he sees an eight year old girl sitting dissociated on the couch. that fucks everyone up.

i just realized i havent talked about literally anyone else at the radio station. i think cherri started lingering around the station bc it was safe and sheltered while also not being a popular spot. there are less kids there (people pass through but its not a hangout spot). he was kind of just hanging around to get away from the heat and noise and dr d took notice. because that man can see ur soul and no one knows if thats literal or not. so theyd chat a few times a day and show pony was the one 2 get him out of his shell a little and also was the first one he mentioned his poetry hobby to. im making this all up right now as im writing bc i dont know anything about LITERALLY any of the ppl associated w the radio like im not even going 2 try with chimp n newsie i do not have the willpower to tackle all that. justttt. cherri pony n D become bros and live 2gether there.

back 2 the regular timeline. the rescue mission happens in 2019. the girl lives at the station until 2023. during that time she is very much depressed and withdrawn and is only happy when the four come to visit. none of the Adults know how to help her so they just keep her safe and cared for and hope she'll open up to them.

she does not. she takes the weird cat thats been hanging around and she runs away.

cherri does not see her for three years. shes still worse for wear in the mental health department and he can see all kinds of visions of what shes been through since the last time he saw her and he fucking hates the ultra vs bc they remind him of his past. he does not want her going down that path but its obvious that she isnt crazy abt the ultraviolence thing either so thats a relief.

they have a kind of tense relationship throughout the comics. he feels like he failed her and that spirals into feeling like he failed the four for not being a good adult to them and fun ghoul for not helping enough when his commune was bombed and all kinds of shit and that irrational thinking mixed with plain old, yknow, caring about the girl, is what makes him take a bullet (laser. whatever) for her.

i was trying to figure out the timing of each of their ghost experiences, but i want both of them to talk to the witch and im just gonna make it like dreams where a whole buncha stuff happens but irl its been like seconds. so its like barely a second while the girl has her Witch Convo and cherri FINALLY gets a straight answer, yes there is weird shit going on with him having powers. he doesnt have any story-significant past lives because im lazy, hes just an old soul. like really fuckin old. the amount of latent life experience and stuff his soul/energy/whatever has picked up along the way makes him VERY noticeable to gods n stuff. he fuckin lights up all the alarms like what the FUCK is that over there. she wasnt rly able to get to him or even properly notice him while he was a kid and a young adult so shes happy to finally see him again. he has a STRONG sense of familiarity with her. they know each other on a wild ass level that he cant really comprehend.

welp thats some more lore I'll have 2 think abt. anywayz

post canon is when he and val get to have the most awkward spiderman meme moment of realizing that they have the same trauma SOOOOO thatz fun lol /s sorry kings i thought it would be fun to give u something fucked up to bond over <3

not much changes in his personality. he has a better understanding of Weird Magic and delights in freaking out the ultra vs but for the most part he returns to his life at the radio station. i love him

THIS GOT SO CRAZY LONG I DID NOT MEAN 2 GO THROUGH EVERY PART OF HIS LIFE LIKE SOME WEIRD CHARACTER STUDY but here we are. this is basically a first draft like almost all of this is subject to change but u gotta start somewhere. so heres my start i love this guy. its probably obvious but i have not read ANY twitterverse killjoys stuff </3 maybe i will someday idk

#cat talks #lore #ok2rb but what a mess this post is

3 notes · View notes

biorusted · 4 years

Text

Precipice (Or: I could love you)

Out of the depths of my brine pool I come baring an actual, honest to God fanfic. And a smut one at that. 2020 is full of surprises.

Thank you @soulswimmr keeping my soul tethered to this mortal plane and for prof reading this fic.

Fandom: Satan and Me -- Pairing: GabeMike -- Words: 5510 (and no its not 10 pages of intercourse there are other things that happen)

If I had a AO3 account I would tag this fic as: Explicit! Panic attack tw, anxiety and depression tw, messy feelings, Hurt/Comfort, porn with plot, First times, cis gay sex, under negotiated kinks, (as in *slaps roof of fanfic* this baby can fit SO MUCH under negotiated kinks) light Bondage, light impact play, Dom/Sub tendencies, aftercare. yeehaw.

Summery: Michael accidentally confesses his love to Gabriel. Putting it lightly, it doesnt go well. But then Gabe shows up later that day and makes amends. (they boink)

Edit - 9/29 (michaelmas) Added a NSFW pic inspired by the fic (at the bottom)

Michael had no idea how he got here.

Well, no, of course he did; he was there when it happened. But to say that the day began with him nearly falling over the edge into despair to having Gabriel grinding up against him, pressing hot kisses to his neck and chest, toying with his body… well no one could have possible seen that coming. Except God, but he wasn’t really thinking of Him at this time.

Theres no way to track how This started. It could go back way before the Fall, to when Michael was first discovering that he liked Gabriel more than others. But that was normal, right? People had their favorites so why was this any different? Just because he leaned in closer whenever Gabriel spoke, or found him smiling like the sun whenever Gabe leaned up against him while they were on break, didn’t mean it was anything special. Besides, Gabriel had Anthea. Gabriel didn’t know he had Anthea at first, but Michael wasnt that blind. So he didn’t say anything to dissuade Gabriel from going after her. He didn’t encourage it either, though. Even after the Fall, he didn’t say anything, he himself just lost Lucifer so any chastising or encouragement would have been hypocritical, but eventually he’d thought that Gabriel would let go of her.

He never did though. And Michael never got rid of his feeling for Gabriel either. It grew, in fact. Slowly, like a vine coming around to choke the statues in the gardens, wholly unnoticed until there is nothing to do about it. Every laugh, ever tired roll of the eyes, every unexpected yawn would bring about a new leaf that would suffocate Michael if he wasn’t already doing everything he could to push his feelings down. He didn’t have time for whatever he felt for Gabriel. There were things to do on the surface, troops to train in Heaven and he, being the one on the pedestal, had to be perfect. And feelings were messy.

The point is, as much as he wanted to run his fingers through Gabriel’s curly red hair and kiss him on warm summer nights, he couldn’t do it. Would never do it.

And then the prophecy child came along. The end officially started, Michael got stabbed by his sister, contracted to a human, poisoned by his brother, sold off as a bartering chip to War, lost his physician, pulled some strings and brought a spirit back to earth, pulled some more strings to keep Gabriel from getting to irreversible trouble (but still had him sent to the tank for two weeks), finally saw God after years of radio silence, met his literal doppelganger, got formerly-mentioned-brother’s wings sent to him as sick gift and, quite frankly, was at the end of his rope. Everything was just happening too fast and no one seemed to care. The air was tight whenever he was with the other Archangels. It felt like he didn’t really know any of them anymore. Not even Gabriel, though his heart begged for that not to be the case.

Oh, right. Anthea had also died. So there’s that too. See? Messy.

All of that was basically to say, that when Gabriel made the snide comment that he, Michael, couldn’t possible know what it was like to truly love someone other than himself (which wasn’t even true, Michael did, in fact, hate himself immensely) Michael wasn’t planning to confirm or deny it. However, after the initial shock – Did Gabriel really think him that heartless? – and feeling everyone’s eyes on him – all the other archangels were in the room, plus some other guards – he did answer. It came out like a holy confession, a whisper accompanied by searing hot tears.

I love you. He said.

Michael couldn’t breathe in the silence that followed, which made Gabriel’s laugh, a cruel sounding thing, even harder to take. Michael choked on air and when Gabriel turned to leave, but when he made to follow, maybe to explain himself more? To apologize? Anything but be alone with his thoughts or worse, alone in a room full of people, Gabriel slapped him.

Gabriel said something to him, but he didn’t catch it. All he felt was stinging on his cheek and embarrassment crushing his chest. Michael didn’t know how long he stood there, cradling his face and trying to think, but not comprehending anything around him, but eventually his brain caught up and he realized he did not want to be in that room right then. So, he ran.

Raphael had taught him some breathing techniques to help with panic attacks, but he couldn’t remember them. He guessed he actually had to breathe for them, which he wasn’t doing. All he was doing was sitting in a ball on the floor of his room trying to crush his feeling out. How typical of him, really, to fuck everything up. Now what? He had just cut ties with the only other person he felt a true connection with and now he was well and truly going to die lonely when The End came. That was always the plan; a murder suicide with Lucifer, but he’d thought there would be some pride when he went? Someone who he was fighting for? He didn’t know. He did know it was all his fault. Everything was his fault, no matter who he assigned blame to.

When he finally stopped crying, Michael sat very still. The apathy that came after such a strong release was always welcome. He breathed. And then he got up, washed his face and then went to his personal office to get some work done. He was nothing if not a good angel. Perfect in the eyes of the public.

Numb to everything that wasn’t directly in front of him, Michael actually got a lot done. The shuffling of paper and scratching of his pen was a pleasant relief compared to the chaos of his own thoughts that he was used to. He didn’t even hear the door to his office open, didn’t feel the presence of someone else in the room until they came to where he was organizing paperwork into the proper bins and gently grabbed both of his arms.

Oh, Michael could recognize Gabriel’s hands anywhere. They were hands he trusted completely with everything from a nice manicure to executing an offender of the faith. The only problem was he didn’t know what Gabriel was going to do with those hands. So, he stood completely still at Gabriel’s mercy for the second time that day.

“Turn around.” Gabriel said, taking the rest of the files from Michael and tossing them out of reach. Michael couldn’t discern anything from his voice, really only comprehending that he was very close to his ears, so, he did what he was told.

“Look at me.” he said next, as Michael found the trinkets on his desk a better study. When he didn’t listen, Gabe let go of the shelving he was pining him to and put one hand on the side of his face. It didn’t take a lot of pressure to tilt his head so their eyes met. It frightened Michael to see how stormy Gabriel’s eyes were. Dark, alluring, and troubled were not something he’d normally say about Gabriel, but now only those words applied. There was something else too, his jaw was clenched, as if he were holding his tongue, or arguing with himself.

Michael never got the chance to ask about it, because Gabriel leaned in, parted his lips, closed his eyes and kissed him. The fog of apathy flushed out of him immediately and he felt everything; the warmth of Gabe’s hands on his cheek, the way his other hand lifted from the table and came to rest on his waist, the smooth silk of his own clothes against his body, heat coming from everywhere and, oh lord, his lips. The clouds couldn’t compare to the softness of Gabe’s lips on his, he could spend an eternity in this moment and it would never be enough.

The kiss (they’re first kiss), of course, did not last an eternity. It was only when Gabe moved away from him that Michael realized he didn’t close his eyes, or move towards him or do… anything. Kisses always looked magnetic, so why didn’t it fix everything between them? Michael felt a knot forming in his stomach and it only grew heavier as Gabe opened his eyes to gauge his reaction.

They were still standing so close that their breaths were shared. So, Michael only had to whisper when he said;

“I don’t understand.”

“Do you want to?” Gabe quipped back, tilting his head to the side. He was being completely serious.

“Wh-What?” He really wished his eyes were the bright emerald green they were usually.

Gabe’s grip on Michael’s waist tightened and the storm behind his eyes grew. “Do you want to understand?”

Of course he did. His cheek still burned from where Gabe hit him and the shaking anxiety from his panic attack never left completely, if he understood then maybe they really could make this work. Whatever this could be. Or he could fuck it up.

“No.” He said, and closed the gap between them.

Almost immediately he was shoved back into the shelving with Gabe’s hands clawing at his skin and teeth biting his lips. Heat rushed through his entire body as Gabe pressed up against him, ground up against him leaving his full intent out into the open.

God, since when could he move like that? Michael thought as he opened his mouth and let Gabriel’s tongue meet his own. Gabe’s piercing clicked on his teeth, setting off another wave of heat down his spine. He’d always wondered what it would be like to feel Gabe’s piercing in his mouth. One of his own hands slipped behind Gabe’s chiton and laid flat against his chest while the other raked through his hair. He almost wished Gabriel hadn’t cut his hair short, he would have love to pull on the curls, but the deep moan that came out of him made up for it.

Gabriel’s tongue was on his lips, and then his lips were on his jaw, kissing a line up and then down his neck, Michael could barely catch his breath, the way he gasped at every press of his mouth on sensitive skin. Even when Gabe slowed down to focus on a spot at the base of his neck, Michael didn’t complain, especially as Gabe’s leg pressed in between his own. Michael didn’t realize how hot his body felt, certainly didn’t realize how hard he was, how hard both of them were, but it was all he could think about as Gabe’s hands slid lower and started groping his ass, gathering the fabric of his skirt between his fingers.

Humans always made this stuff look strange, Michael didn’t get all the moaning and begging and crying out. The ‘losing control’ part never made sense to him either, but there was nothing controlled about the sounds he made now; broken whispers begging to be understood as wanting more. He wanted more of this, whatever this ended up being and he wanted Gabriel there to guide him through it all.

Naturally, that’s when Gabriel pulled away. Michael didn’t think he could fall for him anymore, but the vines he always compared his love to bloomed in such a vivid way. The messed up hair, the dilated pupils, the reddened lips, the way he dragged his eyes down every inch of him; it could have destroyed him and made him whole all at once.

“Tonight.” Gabe said. “I’ll meet you in your room.” It wasn’t a question, but it wasn’t a statement either.

“Yes.” He nodded, but when he felt Gabriel leaning away from him, asked “But why?”

He straightened himself up, making eye contact as he grazed his crotch and nodded towards his desk. “You still have work to do.”

The afternoon passed as quickly as he’d expected it to, which is not very quick at all. After getting himself fixed up, Michael found he could not possibly focus on anything other than events prior. It didn’t matter what he put in front of himself, all he could think about was how this whole thing wasn’t good. It’s exactly want he wanted in his deepest and most sinful dreams; a physical relationship with his millennia-long love—but he’d only let himself pin for a romantic one, chaste save for a few kisses. They both were angels after all. This… This wasn’t even love, he thought. Especially not in the way silence grew serious between them when they parted. Lovers didn’t do that… they talked at the very least.

No. This was lust. And he found that he was ok with it… he wanted to be ok with it.

Eventually he got up and left his office. The empty hallways of his home echoing his footsteps, he tried not to think about it. He paced around his room a bit, wishing Gabriel had been more exact about ‘tonight.’ Did he mean at sunset? Or closer to midnight? Were they just… going to get straight to it? Or… what? Was Michael expecting to be taken out on a date? Please. Gabe was probably just going to get off and then leave. He would be lucky if it was a mutual thing.

Still, he couldn’t stop thinking. How would it happen? Was he expected to do anything? How did Gabriel know how to move his body like that? Eventually, just about when he thought he’d lose it, Michael caved and looked up what to expect.

The internet was, as usual, very helpful, but by the end of his searching his mind was even more frayed than before. He decided to take a shower. A long one just to calm himself down and … maybe to… test some of the things he read.

By the time Gabriel arrived, Michael had taken a long shower, dried and dressed himself and even put on what he hoped was subtle perfume and straightened up his room. Everything was, hopefully, perfect. He was halfway through setting up two glasses of wine --because he did keep wine in his room now-- when the knock came.

“Come in,” He said casually, almost forgetting the situation they were in.

He heard the door open and close, but there came no greeting, so when Michael turned around to make sure he wasn’t dreaming, he was surprised to find Gabriel outright staring at him. He looked the same as he did before, except now he carried a bag with him. Michael, however, did dress up. Or down. It depends on how you look at it. He still wore his chiton, but in a more traditional way that showed off more of his chest and thighs. He also wasn’t wearing anything underneath.

He swallowed and turned back to the wine, wishing his body didn’t blush so much under Gabriel’s intense stare. But he faced it again, this time with a bottle of wine in his hands.

“I thought that we could have a drink?” His voice faltered and he stood rather awkwardly and small.

That seemed to break Gabe out of his trance. He dropped off his bag on the bed and approached him with an even gaze. Stopping right in front of him, he took the bottle from his hands and set it down.

“No… No more wine.” He said in that deep tone that put butterflies in his stomach. Upon seeing his reaction, Gabe added, “I’d rather have you right now.”

And to that Michael could only say one thing.

“Please.”

And now here they were, Gabriel leaving bite marks and hickeys on his neck while he pushed up against him so that every nerve was on fire, begging for more. Michael twisted and strained on the ropes tying his wrists to the bedposts, trying to catch his breath. But whenever he did manage a moment clarity, Gabriel would do something else to make him jump and moan beneath him. He was playing with his nipples now and dragging his fingernails down his sides. He still hadn’t taken off his clothes yet, but by now they might as well be ruined, soaked through with each other’s sweat and precum. Michael moaned again as Gabe slapped his thighs, by now he wasn’t afraid of being loud, he wanted Gabe to know exactly what he felt.

“Please.” He begged again, not expecting an answer but praying for one anyway. His legs shook underneath Gabe’s firm hands as he kept them pressed to the bed, no matter how many times he coaxed Gabe forward, to rub their cocks together, for any friction at all, he still denied him.

“Please, what?” he said into his ear, “Aren’t I giving you everything you want?” The honey in his voice made Michael shiver.

“Yes, God yes! But please… fuck- please touch me. I need you.” He captured his lips again for a messy kiss.

Gabe pulled away. “Greedy, much?” He kissed a line down his body, then above his navel, “You really are a whore.”

Michael gasped as the sash at his hips was untied and thrown aside. His whole body throbbed with need at the silent promise. “Only for you.”

Gabe lifted the remaining fabric and breathed in the wet spot where his precum soaked through. “Is that so? All of this is for me?” He gently pulled the fabric away from his body, finally leaving Michael bare and spread wide for him. His dick fully erect, leaking and red, begging for release by any means.

Michael shifted under his gaze, looking down on him like he owned him. He only hoped he looked as beautifully desperate as Gabriel did. “Of course.”

Gabe nodded and took off the rest of his own clothes. His hands traveled up and down his glistening tan body, fulfilling a desire that Michael wished he could do instead. How many times had Michael wanted to run his fingers up and down the curves of Gabriel’s toned body? He couldn’t remember at that moment. If he didn’t like his wrists being tied up so much, he might have asked to be untied.

When he got to his dick though, he only traced light lines with his fingertips, moaning and biting his lips in pure ecstasy. It was a sight to behold, the lines of precum hanging on his fingers, the trail of ginger hair cropping his dick. ‘Heavenly’ could hardly cover it.

Michael let out a groan and Gabe stopped, a ghost of a smile on his lips.

“My eyes are up here.”

“Fuck me already.”

That earned him another slap on the inside of his thighs, he bucked and noted the way his cock bounced in the air. Did everything have to be so erotic? Gabriel reached back to the bag he brought, the one that also had the rope, and pulled out a small bottle of lube and a condom. Now that they were on track, Gabe wasted no time in slicking his fingers up, propping up Michael’s legs and sliding said fingers up and down his ass, even grabbing his balls for good measure. Michael thought about biting into his own arm to stop from crying out too loud, but instead just lifted his legs higher. The house was empty anyway.

Gabe let out a satisfying hum and pressed a finger inside him. It felt as strange as it did when he practiced in the shower, but god was it so much better.

“Take deep breaths. I’m just stretching you out now.” He said, smiling to himself and kissing Michael’s calf. “It would be a shame if you finished now.”

“It wouldn’t be my fault. I didn’t know how much you liked teasing.” Or slapping or bondage or powerplay or literally anything. Then again, he himself didn’t realize how much he’d like those things too, much less being on the receiving end. He took a deep breath. And another. Then, the question that was haunting him slipped from his mouth. “How do you know how to do this?” he blurted out.

“Hm?” Gabriel looked away from him, suddenly abashed, as if he wasn’t massaging his asshole for his pleasure and use. “I uh. I watched some videos.”

And to that Michael laughed, more genuine than he had in a while.

“What?” Gabe took the opportunity to insert another finger, stopping his laughter with pain and pleasure. How cruel!

“Nothing! I just…” He turned his head to hide his face in is arms. “I watched some videos too.”

“Really?” The quality in his voice changed. It had been changing from when they made out in his office to now… it felt like they were talking normally with each other, like friends… or, well, like lovers. It helped that he was smiling now, not quite a joyful or mischievous smile, but a quaint one. As if they both were taking each other in with a new light.

“Yeah… I practiced some too.” He could share that, right?

“Oh… did you…?”

“No. I was… saving that for you.”

“Oh.” Was all he said, hiding his quiet delight behind adding in another finger inside of him.

They stayed like that for a while, Gabe stretching him out gently while Michael sighed and kept his breathing relaxed. Gabe never pushed his fingers in deep, even though Michael thrusted his thighs up, trying to convince Gabe to finger fuck him a little. After a few minutes, Michael was craving for something thicker and longer. Even so, he was not ready for how cold, empty and gapping he’d feel when Gabe’s fingers left him.

“Ready?” Gabe asked as he slid the condom on and poured more lube onto his hand. He bit his swollen lips and he slicked up his shaft; he wasn’t the only one that was denied.

“More than.” He angled himself up more and welcomed Gabe’s steady hand bracing on his red thighs. There was a moment of blissful silence as Gabe lined himself up, only broken by the feeling on his head pressing up against his hole and pushing in. They both moaned.

Gabe was gentle going in, pushing forward and pulling back bit by bit. His whole body jerked as he guessed his prostate was hit, he read that it felt like sparks shooting across the body and by God was that right. He rocked his hips up even harder now. Michael had never felt so full, never felt the need to be, but when Gabe bottomed out and rutted against his hips, he felt as if he’d need this the rest of his life. Is this what it felt like to be truly connected? To be full and content with your lover? It felt cheesy to even think, but he imagined soulmates felt like this.

Michael moaned even louder as Gabe pulled halfway out and slid down faster. Again and again he felt sparks as his lover’s wet hips slammed into his own. The noises they made were obscene and only made worse when Gabe leaned over him to get a better angle. Now he could feel Gabe’s hot breath on his face and see just how gone he was, which made the heat pooling in his own stomach twist and flood his senses. This was started to be too much.

“Touch me!” He begged, straining on his wrists again. “Oh, please I want to come. Please let me come.” He had to have this, he’d waited so long; Michael needed this.

“Oh fuck.” Gabe moaned and leaned down to bite at his neck once more. “Beg for me. I’m so close.”

“Please, Gabriel, I wanna… I wanna feel you come inside me, I want your hands pumping my dick until I scream. I want you. I need you Please. Please. Please!”

Michael’s breathy cries grew more erratic along with Gabriel’s pace. The wet slapping of skin filled the room until Gabe cried out and shook with his orgasm. Michael pushed up against him, writhing around his partner’s twitching cock, until Gabe collapsed onto him and gasping for breath, oversensitive and spent.

“Fuck.” He gasped as he lifted himself up and crashed his mouth on Michael’s. His lips screamed desperation. His hands trembled as he grabbed Michael’s cock and pumped at a horrifically fast pace. Michael gasped against his mouth and bucked, arching his back as much as he could. When his orgasm hit, he froze, coming quickly in Gabe’s hand before opening his eyes again and melting into the bed. Only then did Gabe slide out of him and collapse. He couldn’t breathe for a moment, and then the only thing he could do was breathe. His mind and body spent.

They laid together for a few minutes, Gabe resting on top of him, both of them basking in the afterglow. Michael felt sticky and sore and empty but didn’t feel like moving, and honestly, if they laid like that for the rest of the night, he would be completely fine with that.

As if reading his thoughts, Gabriel kissed his jaw and lifted himself up. How he went from blitzed out to composed Michael couldn’t guess, but he noted the way Gabe still trembled. “We should… clean up.” He emphasized this by taking his hand—still covered in Michael’s cum – and dragged his tongue up his index finger. He made a face and shrugged, “It doesn’t taste that good.”

Michael huffed. “I’m sorry I’m not made of sugar.”

“Hm. But those noises you made were so sweet.”

Michael rolled his eyes. “Untie me, please.” He didn’t thing he could play anymore games.

“Just a second.” He peeled off the condom and made to get off the bed.

“Where are you going?” A bolt of dread shot up his spine; he wasn’t leaving, was he? Not tied up to the bed and out in the open?

“Bathroom, Michael. Getting a towel and washing my hands. Also, you’re sticky.”

“And whose fault is that?” he tried shove his anxiety back into its box.

He didn’t get a reply, just a hum and a good view of Gabe’s back side as he walked to the room adjacent and cleaned himself up. He wasn’t even out of sight, keeping the bathroom door wide open, but Michael still felt tendrils of doubt writhe in his chest.

He put on a smile as he walked back holding two warm towelette—because yes, Michael had towelettes on hand. They’re nice to have— He was still surprised when Gabriel cleaned him instead of just untying his wrists and letting him handle his own ‘sticky’ body. Somehow this seemed more intimate than what they just finished doing, especially how gentle Gabe lifted his legs to get a better angle. The warm towel felt wonderful on his abused butt and dick, more so than he thought it would. After getting his lower half he used the other towelette to press on his neck, which had much the same effect. Michael didn’t think that a warm towelette would make the deep bite marks and bruises heal right away, but it was like a gentle kiss. He didn’t think Gabe would be so kind to him.

“Whats wrong, Michael?” Gabe’s calm voice cut through the silence. He didn’t meet his eyes as he asked.

What should he say to that? Everything was wrong, they just—they just had sex! They didn’t even talk about it before hand they just… did it! And this morning he was pretty sure Gabe hated him and Michael… he didn’t know what he wanted to do with anything. No one could find out, he was sure of that… but did that mean he had to forget this whole night happened? All in all his life was falling apart! He didn’t want to push his last lifeline away.

“I’m fine.” He smiled. He tried not to panic as the mood shifted over Gabriel. He could see the clouds over his eyes again. Shit shit shit of course he’d ruin it. “I-“ He started, frantically thinking about what would make this right. “I just want you to stay.” Pathetic.

That seemed to work, though it hurt to say, but he didn’t get an answer right away. Instead, Gabe moved up to his arms and finally undid the rope. Michael hissed as he moved his freed wrists again.

“Oh, I brought something for that.” Gabe said, reaching for his bag once again. He produced a bottle of lotion and applied some to his hands before taking one of Michael’s and massaging it. It felt good, though much like the towel still at his neck, he didn’t think it would do much. They fell into a lull again. Michael felt as if he could fall sleep, if not for the unanswered question weighing on his mind.

“What do you want to do with the cover?”

“Hm?”

“The duvet is… wet.”

“Oh… just throw it to the ground, I’ll clean it tomorrow.” Or he’ll just burn it, whatever.

“Ok.” Gabe let go of his hands and began to pull back the blanket beneath them. Ideally, they should have taken it off beforehand, but they weren’t really thinking logically then, just about how to make each other shake with pleasure. Michael sat up and helped kick the thick blanket to the ground. His ass hurt and his whole body was sore, scratched up and bruised, but at least he was clean-ish. He had honestly never felt so… exhausted before. Satisfied but still so wanting. Maybe he was a selfish whore. He pulled back more blankets from the front of the bed and crawled underneath him, not caring to put on clothes or turn off the dim lights still illuminating his room.

He closed his eyes and tried to focus on the heaviness he felt all around him versus the sounds of Gabriel sliding off the bed and walking away. It didn’t really work, he still felt hot tears behind his eyes and tried biting the inside of his lip to keep from making noise. If Gabriel wanted to leave, then who was he to stop him? He knew this wasn’t good. He should be happy that he got to have sex with him at all. A check off the bucket list and all that.

But he didn’t leave. Michaels eyes snaped open as he felt a thumb wipe away his tears. Gabe was hovering above him, looking somewhere between tired and concerned; he’d just turn off the lights. Michael wanted to laugh because of how ridiculous he was being. Or cry.

But he didn’t. He shifted over and let Gabriel slide under the covers with him. It was awkward, they were both naked and wasn’t sure how get comfortable like this, but they soon settled down where Michael was laying on Gabe’s chest and they were tracing shapes on each other’s arms.

He was about to drift off when Gabe muttered, half to himself, “I could love you.”

That didn’t feel as bad as it could to Michael. “That’s all I need.” His words slurred together before he dropped into darkness. He’ll deal with everything else tomorrow.

Gabriel didn’t know why he did this anymore than Michael probably did. All Gabe wanted was a release, something he thought he could only have with Anthea. A stress reliever, maybe. A good fuck before the world went to shit. He tried to ignore the darker thoughts he had that day, where he pushed Michael over the edge and left him to shatter on the ground. Or the ones where he’d hurt Michael outright to finally get across all of the hurt he’d experienced at his now-lover’s hands. But there was something—a spark? – when they kissed, and a shift when they actually talked to each other. No masks, no pretenses. Just feelings; whatever they happened to be.

And Gabe remembered how Michael used to be. Fun, genuine, loving. He remembered the quiet nights where they watched the sky and how Michael would, very obviously, check him out. The way he always seemed to prefer either him or Lucifer. This whole thing was ridiculous; of course Michael loved him, it was so obvious. So why did Gabe react like that this morning? He didn’t know. He didn’t want to think about it anymore than he already had.

Gabe wasn’t lying when he said he could love him, but he wouldn’t lie and say that he loved him now. His heart was recently broken and, the tattoo of Anthea’s name was barely over a month old. Before today, he believed it too soon for anything new. Obviously, another part of him disagreed, but he would save those thoughts for another time. Gabriel kissed Michael’s head and fell asleep with him in his arms. He’ll have to see what the next day brought.

____

a doodle:

#satan and me #naughtysam #gabemike #my writing #dam im proud of this #i actually wrote a boink #huh #miracles do happen

13 notes · View notes