#but it was a huge block and wouldnt break and i hoped putting it in the tray would crunch it up and uh it didnt lol. i tried to tell her tha | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

theyscreamjade · 3 years

Note

Also, sorry if my request came off as "demanding" if you don’t feel like writing it that’s totally fine. 💜

Don’t Change Who You Are.

Let’s continue ~, YALL REALLY THOUGHT ID LEAVE YOU ON A CLIFFHANGER?!

——————————————

You arrived at the café where you’d usually meet a group of your friends before work. After seeking help from Neoma and a few recommendations from Mina as well, your whole demeanor changed. You no longer trained as hard, wore black or even baggy clothes, your attitude changed as well. You were no longer angry at the little things, or as cocky as you’d normally be during battles.

You walked into the café, holding a purse in your hand that held your boyfriend’s lunch and a few other things. You wore a tight pink dress with beige heels along with a fluffy jacket from the cold weather.

Upon the first reaction, Jade was quick to drop her jaw along with her phone. Kirishima soon followed before the whole table looked at you with astonishment. “.....What’s wrong?” You asked, worried.

“What the fuck are you wearing?” Jade asked, looking at you up and down. “It’s a dress...” you replied. Jade quickly snapped her head to Neoma and glared at her. “I’m gonna kick your ass..” “What?! Why?!” She cried out. “Yeah, Why Jade?!” You asked, looking at her confused.

“Because you were fine the way you are!” She said, looking back towards you. “I kind of like the new you,” Denki said before getting a charger plug popped into his mouth. “I don’t mind the change honey, I’m always all about it. This is just to...get someone’s attention but you already have.” She explained as you sat down.

“Then why is he so busy with that skank then? She’s been overstaying her welcome and it’s pushing me past my limit.” You confessed, anger boiling inside you.

“Have you thought to even confide in him?” Symphony signed, curiously before she sipped her smoothie. “I don’t do confining... it makes me feel weak.” You told them as Symphony sighed softly.

She pulled out her phone and typed quickly before playing an automated voice. “TELL HIM, HOW YOU FEEL!! HES A BLIND HOTHEAD YOU KNOW?!” Siri said before she looked back.

“I second that with Symph, Why didn’t you just talk to him? Tell him how you feel because he’s just going to keep doing it.” Jade soon added, looking at you.

You sighed and looked at the small group of people and a bird before you decided to give in. You needed to release some of this pent-up anger. After ordering a drink for the road, everyone soon started walking towards the main headquarters. It was time for the weekly meeting to talk about any new villains, what to watch out for, and others. Some would watch through their phones or laptop and others were able to just arrive at the large building.

When you walked in, everyone paused to look at you. It wasn’t even like you, while others stared, others began to mumble a bit. You recognized the spiky hair from a mile away as your legs began to move to him.

You were almost there when you spotted a white heeled boot, clock in beside before he turned around. You swayed your hips like Mina instructed and stood close to him. “Hey Baby~,” you said in a teasing tone. His eyebrow was raised immediately before he asked. “What the hell are you wearing?” He asked, confused.

“You like it? It’s a dress..” you said, smiling before you handed him his lunch you made for him. “I brought you lunch, I hope y-“

“Oh, I already brought him lunch. Don’t worry about it, I’m sure you’d like to keep it.” The girl commented as your grip tightened. “Considering, he’s my boyfriend and all. I was hoping. He’d like to take mine, I know how much he loves his spicy curry.” You responded, trying to keep your anger together.

“I could’ve sworn that he was sin-“ gravity suddenly dropped as Jade quickly made a shield around everyone. “He’s not single, you fucking skank.” You finally said as she glared towards you.

“How sad, I guess you're acting like me just to get his attention. If he’s yours? Why would you try to be like me?!” She asked, stepping back as she activated her quirk. Those were fighting stances, you didn’t care what she said. She activated her quirk and got into a stance. You shoved the lunch into Neoma’s hand and made a jump for it as Bakugo caught you mid-air.

“Okay. Guys, let’s take a deep breath and calm down.” Neoma began to suggest as the sidekick rolled her eyes. “We can start by you shutting up.” She responded before everyone paused. “Oh shit.” Symphony signed, her eyes growing big.

“Why don’t we have a chat?” Jade suggested, grabbing the girl by her costume. “I’m going to teach you a few lessons about relationships and how you talk to Pro-Hero’s, you fucking sidekick.” She said, trying to hide her obvious annoyance while dragging her away. The group soon followed, trying to relax the angel-like hero from committing a huge sin...like murder.

Bakugo snatched you away from the large crowd and shut you both in a closet nearby. It was a large storage closet full of old things and cleaning supplies. “What the hell is up with you?” He asked, looking down at you.

That question alone, made your blood boil. “WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH ME?! WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH YOU?!” You screamed. “YOUVE BEEN PRANCING AROUND THIS BITCH WITH THAT SLUT ON YOUR FUCKING BACK 24/7! YOU HAVENT BEEN WITH ME IN TWO FUCKING WEEKS! AND EVERYTIME I TRY TO TALK TO YOU, ITS IVE GOTTA TRAIN HER THIS! AND I GOTTA WORK THAT! ALL THE FUCKING TIME! NOT ONLY THAT, COULD YOU SUGGEST TO THE BITCH TO GET SOME FUCKING BOUNDARIES?! SHES ALL OVER YOU AND ITS PISSING ME THE FUCK O-“ you gasped softly, feeling your body pinned against the locked door.

“You’re so fucking hot when you’re jealous..” he grunted, a smirk forming on his face and a hardened bulge in his costume. You took a glance down to his pants before looking into his eyes, grabbing his shirt as you kissed him deeply.

His hands slammed against the door while you snatched the stupid dress from your body, breaking the zipper in the process. You had your costume here in the lockers so you could always just simply change here. Anger, jealousy, and lust swirled together made the room feel tense yet that tension was being released at the same time.

Your leg was lifted to his hip as his hand snaked to your ass, your arms wrapped around his neck while he bit and sucked your spot on your neck. Your head touched the door as his slams made the door shake.

Your moans gracefully slipped out without hesitation, you wanted her to hear just what he could do to you that she couldn’t have. You had to make sure she heard you.

Your noses touched each other as you and he stared into each other’s eyes, a smirk forming from your lips. “You’re such a show-off, babe, ~” he growled softly, pounding you harder, his grip getting tighter. “And you’re all fucking mine..” you responded to him, scratching his back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey? Where’s Kacchan and Y/N?” Deku asked, looking around the room curiously. “They’re here, just not in here,” Jade explained, smiling innocently.

“That’s strange. I’ll go l-“ “I WOULDNT DO THAT..” she said quickly, standing up. “Why not, what are they doing?” Deku asked, curiously as Denki snickered softly.

“They’re having lunch. Bakugo wanted to have sandwiches so they went somewhere to make some.” Kirishima explained as Symphony slapped her head in annoyance.

“Why on e-“ “FUCK IT, I HAVE A SIDEKICK LOCKED IN MINETA’S APARTMENT!” Jade screamed as Deku paused. “What?!” He screamed as Ochacko stood up.

“Why did you put her there?!” Mina asked as Sero couldn’t help but laugh at the hilarious scene in his head. “He’s single, she’s single and desperate. I made a match in heaven.” Jade explained. “What the hell am I going to do with you...Let’s just begin.” Deku said, walking towards the projector.

A loud moan echoed from the hallway while Jade acted as if she was yawning. Neoma walked from the bathroom as Jade suddenly yelled at her. “Ah! There’s my bag!” Jade said as Neoma yelled. “I’m coming! I’m coming!” over your voice.

The one thing no one could block out that even Deku heard, was the infamous name of the hero that was getting you to your blissful climax.

“DYNAMIGHT!”

#why do i always do this #i need heeeeelp #bnha bakugo x reader #bnha bakugo katsuki #bakugo x reader #katsuki bakugo imagine #bakugo x black reader #bnha bakugou #mha bakugou #mha x reader #mha femreader #im gonna go pray now.#ive done something #bakugo #dynamite #boom goes the dynamite

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rawring-rainbows · 6 years

Photo

The Queen’s pajamas

She was woken up by her potential girlfriendand her story is still being worked on if you wanna read the notes and rough draft so far here you are

Our Queen found a living island fixed it up and discovered it travelled different dimensions and worlds

Queen Eclipse her two orbs floating above her shoulders holds back her true (as corny as it sounds).. form

Her body and soul is directly connected to the living island when those little marbles fall she forms into this huge beast lays

behind her castle/Huge body of water (I cant decide) She goes to sleep and also so does the island No one knows for sure

what happends during this time besides her royal higher ups During this time its dark and most of the creatures plants etc seem to be put at rest things are dim dark and calm and

normally people can leave the island but no one can it looks almost as if theres a barrier around it During this time the entire kingdom starts this gigantic festival they play games they eat food they meditate they do

mminor rituals but this most import thing is laying your dominant hand on the royal beast and the other on your heart and

telling her that you believe in her and thank her for all that she's done as well as a what you hope for when the sun comes

up again Her form gets smaller and smaller as time goes on but when she wakes up shes happy and rejuvinated like her people who

canot help be filled with an explosive amount of happieness but so does the entire continent harvests are plentiful and

delicious flowers bloom trees are full of fruit the hopeless have hope the sick are healed all sorts of miracles happen

except one the dead cannot be raised and the wicked use this strange phenomenon for one thing.. To Kill without regret

You finally earned your way to the top of the royal hierarchy to get some sort of answer is to what the Queen does while

she sleeps a tall wise looking creature looks down at you with his hands behind his back an expression and peircing eyes

that gave you this feeling he could read u like a book."What would you do if you were a God?" He gives you no time to

answer "One God of many who takes over a world and play with those puppet strings as you please and make your ideal

world..Would you abandon it? Would you get bored? With endless time and power what do you do with this immortal life?" He

finally answers a question "You become atleast a quarter mortal..Taking on the life among your people but! Is it enough?

NO!!" The sudden outburst startles you but he keeps a calm expression "Do you take a small part of an enormous world and

make it your own? What kind of God would make one's self slightly vulnurable while taking the lives from countless God

Ruling worlds of your very own kind? Is this God planning to make a Utopia for many?......Or To grow strong enough to wage

war and flip that coin calling heads to who will be the ruler of ALL worlds?...And will you be strong enough to live

through to thank the one who ripped off a peice of herself to show you how lucky you are to stand on the grounds of someone

who could erase u from existance with the flick of her wrist..Will you be thankful to the one who allowed you to be a part

of the game that no matter what you do you cannot stop..or will you realize All you can do is attempt to give her the heart

to try her damnest to allow you to survive in an existence where others like herself wont have a smidgen of pity for you?..

"You ever hear the term a captain goes down with their ship?" The Queen asks looking up at the stars. You Nod. "You see

those stars up there?.....They're sunken ships... God's are not made of flesh of blood..They're pure energy and each one of

them swimming around up there looks for...hmm...how do i put this...They look for shelter and they feed on energy and when

a God First manifests they're very fragile..and easily consumed its a battle to live on untill they find theyre set

home..Some are stronger then others and build their hearts in several worlds some have dozens some settle with one" her

eyes darted up with a look of pain on her face. "Some dont make it..Their people they work so hard to grow and have their

planet thrive..either destory eachother or destroy their God..If a God dies in their shell its people could thrive for some

time but then..." she pointed to one of the brightest stars in the sky that was soon shut off like a light. "Theyre used to

fuel the next world" You asked which one is she like. She grinned eared to ear. "Im a special kind...the kind that doesnt

like to be tied down..The kind that's deeply afraid not only to lose my own life but the ones who grew with me and

Thrived!" She took a deep excited breath then sighed. "Though I took a big risk being different from the others..I have no

idea what's in our future..but!..I will work hard enough so that we have a big chance for it to work out in the end..Most

God's abandon their children..Most God's just watch them grow thrive and destroy eachother while sitting back without a

care because they only think about themselves...Me...I want to work together.." She lifted her glass of wine. "If the plan

works smoothly we'll be unstoppable if not well.." She clinked her glass against yours and lifted hers up again. "To an

unexpected future!!"

"When do you feel the most mortal?" You asked the queen who was scratching her chin in thought. "I...How do I put

this...Any sort of pain...emotional,physical,etc I do not feel immidiatly..I feel just enough to settle the situation at

that moment..whether its comfrontation..or a fight i feel about 5 to 25 percent of any sort of negative feeling...untill

later..when theres no one around..when theres no danger my people cant handle..I break down..I cry..my chest hurts..my

heart breaks..I throwup and so on and so fourth...for centuries i would wonder why this happend...then i realized..I use my

immortality as a shield and dont give my mortality a chance to breath..its something ive been trying to work on for a long

time..others who ive told this secret to said they've felt something similiar to that..that its because we hurt for others

and put everything holding us back aside for those including ourselves.. Who are we if we do not protect others while

they're weak as our parents who have provided us with shelter while we were young?.. We're all still young you know...Young

and afraid Unsure of our futures no matter how hard we work for them..Life is tough and brutal as Hell and its nice to have

someone to protect you when you need it most..I dont mind having these moments..Pain isnt so bad when it reminds you that

you're alive.."

God's are very territorial shes nervous Oh my Stars!..Look she's sweating!" You say as you watched her talked to the group

of Gods. "She's fine she's smart but very cautious these are her friends-" You interupt him. "Ticking time bombs you mean!

any one of them can turn around and attempt to kill her or kill someone else-" "She wouldnt allow that! She would rather

lay down her life then allow them to put us in danger..." You look to the side with uncertainty "What is one life to a God

thats rules over many?" You sighed and clutched your chest trying to still your racing heart.

When two Gods fight it's...Ugh! I'm a journalist! Im risking my life on the surface and i dont even know how to explain this!" Adrenaline pumped through your veins you were panicking there was two gargantuan God's standing thousands of feet from you ready to Rip into eachother. "What to do What to do" You say quickly pacing back and fourth Suddenly CRACK BOOM! Heat rushes over you as you fall and eat dirt you look up over the stone you stood behind leaning over and watching it slowly start to disintegrate, but that didnt matter just yet you're writers block was destroyed at this very moment and you had to write this down "Through Mortal eyes this fight looked as if two Colossal flames were trying to engulf eachother-" You start to say but just like that it was almost over the enemy was tossed in your direction as you watched in shock it skid across the ground and stopped 10 feet from you The Goddess who ruled over the ground you stood on seemed to appear on top it then immidiatly looked right into your eyes. "She stared at me..Its like looking into one thousand suns though it doesnt burn.." You say out loud attempting to write it down without looking The monumental beings expression started to change. "Her expression went from pure fury that melted into absolute worry..You look tired.." You said softly it was like talking to an intelligent beast who said nothing but you could tell how it was feeling. The deity suddenly started using her last bit of strength on her enemy pressing her enormous forearm on its throat struggling against her grip. "Stop! Don't worry about me! Fight this guy with a better strategy! You could die!" You braced for impact There was a loud crack and a deafening sound of thunder you soon after looked up. "The Enemy was destroyed in an explosion of pure white..It's snowing diamonds..She's ok..She won....Risking her life for one weak being who stood on her grounds which she ruled....and im in love with her"

#This is bad but eh its fine it was fun #Original Story #OC #original character #furry ocs #goddess oc

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thetragicescape · 6 years

Note

He’s really doing it and he loves you!!

This is seriously getting on my fuckin nerves. I am about to lose it if I hear this one more time. Please. Please stop!!!! I am really not trying to be rude here but I’m about to fucking explode. You have no idea how many people tell me the exact same thing when they don’t personally know him at all. Well I DO know him and he’s been “really doing it” for fucking ever. Saying he’s really doing it, anyway. Do you know how many millions of times he’s even said the exact same words you just said, just to go back on them 5 seconds later? Oh, and then get mad at ME for calling him out on the constant lies and promise breaking?! It’s called integrity, idk if he even knows what that means cause he sure as hell never cared enough to show it around me. He can say whatever he wants, but when all he does is the opposite it doesn’t mean anything. Actions speak louder than words and his actions have shown me the exact opposite of his words. Look. I was dumb enough to believe his lies more times than you or I can count, and all that my blind trust in him has taught me is that he can’t be trusted. Also someone who really loves you doesn’t put their hands around your neck, pull a knife on you, call you a slut whore skank hoe idiot retard dumbass fat ugly worthless pathetic bitch piece of shit etc. They don’t tell you to fucking kill yourself and you deserve to die because nobody cares about you and it would make everyone in the world happy… Now what horrible crimes did I commit to get this evil Mr Hyde to come out? LEAVING THE MOTHERFUCKING DOOR UNLOCKED. ACCEPTING OUR EX ROOMMATES FIANCEES OFFER TO BUY ME TAMPONS. SMILING. THROWING UP WHEN I WAS SICK. TAKING A FEW SECONDS TOO LONG TO PICK A MOVIE. SAYING ONE WRONG WORD. BREATHING WRONG. BLINKING WRONG. MOVING WRONG. WANTING TO SEE MY FAMILY. BEING HIGH, EVEN THOUGH HE WAS ALWAYS HIGH WITH ME. BEING HIGHER THAN HIM WHEN HE WOULD PURPOSEFULLY GIVE ME MORE DOPE THAN HIMSELF (AND AFTER I TOLD HIM HE COULD HAVE MORE OF IT THAN ME). FUCKING EXISTING PRETTY MUCH!!! HE ONLY WANTS ME AROUND TO HAVE HIS GOOD OLD EMOTIONAL PUNCHING BAG TO ABUSE AND MAKE FEEL LIKE SHIT SO IT MAKES HIM FEEL BETTER ABOUT HIMSELF. Someone that loves you wouldn’t control every aspect of your life and force you to do what they want 24/7, ignoring your protests and cries. For example they wouldn’t wake you up at 5:30 in the morning and force you to go with them to the store across the street, getting mad at YOU and abusing YOU because you don’t blindly comply and want sleep. They dont go out of their way to pick at your insecurities just to hurt you more. They don’t tell you you’re really a guy who got a sex change operation to turn into a girl or that you have diseases you’ve never had in your entire life. Someone who loves you wouldnt accuse you of countless ridiculous things you never have done and have about a -1000000% chance of ever doing. They don’t create these huge intricate insane plots out of nowhere on how everyone in the entire world is against them and somehow incorporate you into the story (so they can make it okay in their mind to abuse you) when you’ve done nothing to them, never been against them a second of your life and love them more than anything. Constantly defending yourself against untrue and ridiculous accusations every day is fucking exhausting, especially when the person who “loves” you is completely committed to believing the accusations no matter how much evidence or proof there is against them. The fact that he would even think to accuse me of those things shows that he does not know the kind of person I am at all, which really hurt me because he should have known me better than anybody. Anyway… someone who loves you doesn’t tell you you’re a loser and you have an iq of 20 and they’re embarrassed to be seen with you in public… They don’t spit on you, flick their cigarette ashes on you, throw their burning cigarette butts and other objects at you. They don’t threaten to kill you or beat you up. They don’t break or threaten to break your stuff. They don’t threaten to call the cops on you even when they’re doing the exact same shit you are, they don’t blame their fucked up behaviors on you. They don’t destroy every shred of self worth you ever thought you had. They don’t lie to you pathologically. They don’t disrespect and ignore your boundaries, wishes and feelings. They sure as fuck don’t trade their wife’s WEDDING RING to a dope dealer for a 30 sack on VALENTINE’S DAY. Tina was his love before I ever was. Do you want me to keep going? Cause I could write a fucking novel of the horrible things hes said and done to me but then we’d be here all day. You have no idea what this man put me through. Mental abuse and hell and lying beyond your comprehension. I clung to his lies long after I actually stopped believing in them because I was so worn down and miserable that i hoped one day he would just decide not to be evil anymore and be the person he was when i first met him. I wanted so badly to kill myself and he was cheering me on. Telling me (because i was a cutter) that i wasnt doing it right and he would show me the right way to do it. You have no idea how it feels to have someone you love subject you to that. I am going to need fucking THERAPY to get over his abuse. I had to get the fuck away from the abuse or I would’ve fucking offed myself, no questions asked. I took as much of it as I could for his sake, but a person can only be pushed so much. Then I blocked him on everything which means I DO NOT WANT TO TALK TO HIM. I WANT AND NEED SPACE FROM MY ABUSER. But of course he doesnt respect my wishes and boundaries and has a huge army of people measaging me on his behalf even after I told him millions of times to leave me alone and give me space and stop suffocating me. He has a new person every damn day. Hes good at charming and manipulating. They’re all likely brainwashed and manipulated with more of his lies. I know how he really is; i am married to him. So please kindly all of you stop getting involved in my business. I am not upset or angry with you but i have had it up to fucking here with people knowing only one side of the story and telling me to go back to the person who abused me. Do you guys know how fucked up that is? I wouldn’t ever tell anyone to go back to their abuser. Leaving him was vital self care that i need for my sanity and my life. Not only am I getting away from the abuse, I am now clean and sober, which I wanted all along and which it was absolutely impossible to do around him. It broke my heart because i love the person i first met and fell in love with, if he even truly existed (even after all he put me through) but I had to do it because his abuse was just too horrific for me to stand. I dont need or want people who know neither of us getting involed in this. This isn’t just to you but to all of his people messaging me: PLEASE STOP!!!!!!!

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abitofafatass · 3 years

Text

11-17-14 Grif and Kaikaina ( @bluegrif) (hsau)

Abitofafatass asked: ((brother/sister angst ahoy!)) What did you do?

abitofafatass

My muse visits yours in hospital.

“Grif?” Kai asked, leaning in the door. She wasn’t exactly sure what happened, but once she heard her brother was in hospital, Kai hauled ass. What did she do? More like what did he do? It was Simmons- she thinks- that told her that Grif was in hospital, but she doesn’t remember. Kai sat down and stared, confused and emotional. “What the fuck, Grif?”

Grif had a rather sour look on his face, and had one leg propped up in a cast. “I didn’t do anything. Some dickhole thought it was going to be funny to loosen the front tire of my bike before we started riding them.” But that didn’t seem to be the only reason he was here. They didn’t hook that many machines up to someone with only a broken leg. Also, he’d already been here a night. Didn’t they normally send people home once the cast was on?

She tried to put her hands on her hip, bumping her elbows an casually moving them back, her point failed. “Okay, but did you like, make him?” Kai tried. “Did you fuck with his shit first?” She leaned back, taking it in. “Can I draw on your cast when we get home? Cause, you’re all patched up, and there is nothing you can do to stop me.” She paused. “Wait, when are you coming home? I don’t see a release date…”

“No I didnt make him! I guess he thought it was a joke or something. Or maybe he was trying to get brownie points with Sarge…” Grif shrugged, and then bit his lip. “Well… I might not be getting out of here for a while, Sis. Turns out that my kidneys suck major cock, so… Gonna have to wait for a transplant…” In a way, it had been kind of a happy accident. Having to go to the hospital caught the problem before it started to actually get really bad. But that also put him at a low priority on the transplant list.

She frowned. “Awww, Grif! Why don’t you look after yourself? I mean… you look after me…” That deepened the frown. Since their mother fucked off, he had taken good care of her, and it was kinda upsetting that he hadn’t done the same for himself. “How many do you need?”

“Like, one working one.” He shrugged, “I guess they’ll see if you’re a match since we’re siblings, but it’ll suck since then you’ll only have one, and shit.” He leaned over to pull her into a hug, “Dont worry, ok Sis? It’ll be fine.”

“Just one?” She asked, practically squeezing her brother. “I mean, we only need one, right? Each, So I guess you could have mine. If it fits.”

He laughed, “It doesnt quite work like that, but yeah, thats the idea.” Grif rubbed her back comfortingly. “You gonna be ok at home by yourself?”

“Pfft, obviously. I’ll be fine, we have plenty of frozen shit. And it doesn’t take a genius to work the oven, right? I mean you do it every night.”

“Just dont forget about the food in there. And if the smoke alarm goes off, dont just unplug it because its annoying.” Grif was going to need to make a list of everything she needed to watch for, now that he thought about it. “Maybe I should just have someone stay with you.”

“Ew. No. You’ll pick Sarge or Simmons.” She wrinkled her nose. “I can be fine at home. Trust me. I swear I won’t have any wild parties again. At all. Not even a little one.”

“Like fuck I’m letting Sarge in my house.” Grif shook his head, mimicking her distaste. “Whats wrong with Simmons? Sure, he’ll make you healthy food, and try and make you do your homework… Actually, Simmons wouldnt be a bad idea.”

“No, no. He’s really dorky. No.” She pouted. No way was she letting Simmons in the house without Grif. He’d rearrange everything. Alphabetically. “Oh hell no. If Anyone, Make it Tucker, or Donut!”

He gave her a long look, “No. If I let Donut stay with you, I’d come home to a redecorated house by Martha Stuart or some shit. And if I let Tucker stay… Its best if you two arent even in the same room alone.”

“-But Simmons is your friend, and he’s not even the hottest.” She pouted. Okay, maybe Donut would take house sitting a little too seriously. And Tucker… Well, she wasn’t that smart, be she knew what her brother was getting at. Fucking like rabbits. It wasn’t even surprising. “Well, What about Church? He’s not really that good-looking, and he’s boring as shit? Or Caboose..?”

“Ok, maybe Church or Doc,” Grif conceded. Having Caboose over would be like the blind leading the blind. “Church is kind of a prick, and probably wont do that much, but I think he’ll manage to keep you out of too much trouble, and make sure the bills get paid on time.” He tucked a bit of hair that had gotten in Kaikaina’s face behind her ear and smiled. “Hopefully it wont take too long before I’m back home.”

“No way! Not Doc.” She retorts. “I don’t him doing all that pilates shit, or eat organic stuff. Gross.” She sighed. “fine. Church or Simmons.” A moment later, she gave a small smile. “You better get better soon, you know.”

Grif nodded, “Of course I will. And I’ll see if Simmons can stay with you soon. It might take a little convincing to get Church to do anything.” Now that that was settled, he leaned back in his hospital bed and relaxed. “So, how was school?”

“It sucks dicks.” She replied. “You won’t believe this, but they kicked me off the cheerleading squad again.”

“Really?” He heaved a huge sigh, “What happened this time?” How many times did this make? He couldnt remember.

“It’s the third, or the fourth. I can remember, but they were really bitchy.” The was an aggravated sigh. “Oh well, I guess I’ll just join the nerd club or something.”

He gave her a long look, “I’m sure there’s other clubs you can join. I don’t think the nerd club is ready for your type of awesome.” Or ready for a girl to be in their midst at all, really.

“No.. But I’ll be bored sitting at home.” She replied. “I mean I could invite people over, but Simmons will have an aneurism or something.”

“Simmons has an aneurysm every four minutes anyways.” Grif shrugged. “No wild parties. Dont do anything that would get you in a hospital bed, or the clinic.” She knew what he meant.

“Really? Maybe he should be in hospital too!” Kai gave a sigh. Crossing her fingers. “Fine. No parties. And no… Other stuff… Not like Simmons will let me anyway.” The last part grumbled.

That made him laugh, “I don’t think Simmons gets the whole talking to girls thing. He’d probably faint if you were just walking around in a bikini.” Besides, he was pretty sure that Simmons wasnt as straight as he made it seem (no he was not just hoping for his own sake).

“No shit. But It’ll be funny, so I’ll record it and take it in to show you. Maybe it’ll help your fucked up kidneys. Or made you giggle… And you totally know which one I’m talking about..”

He grinned and nodded, “Just make sure you dont kill the poor asshole. He may be a nerd, but… he’s not the worst guy in the world.” Grif felt bad for Simmons, almost. But what were friends for if not to take care of promiscuous younger siblings?

Kai wouldn’t be that bad. Not enough to kill him, obviously, because she didn’t want to go to prison. BUt that wasn’t the point, he seemed okay, but he was kinda a stickler for rules. And Kai, if not anything else, was one for breaking them. “Sure. No murder. Totally got it.”

“Good.” he nodded, and pulled her close for a hug again. That should take care of just about everything, he thought. “Sooo…” Grif started, “Anything, or anyone new in your life?” He may be taking care of her, but he was also her nosy older brother.

She raised a brow. “You wanna talk about boys?” That was new..

“Why not? Its not like I have anything better to be doing.” He was purposefully ignoring the stack of binders Simmons had left him that contained school work that he was going to miss.

“Awesome.” She replies, grabbing a marker and taking it to the cast. “Well, you know about Tucker. I mean that guy isn’t the worst I’ve had - You remember that last one right?” Kai spoke loudly, working with the pen.

“You mean the one I told you was bad news, but you said he had a cute ass so it didnt matter?” He couldnt see what she was drawing from here. At least he could trust her to not draw too many dicks.

“Yeah, him! He was kinda cute. I suppose Tucker is better. Well, he seems kinda desperate, but it’s cool. He’s nice really.” She nods, writing ‘Kai was here.’ In block caps.

“As much as it pains me to say it, Tucker is the better option of the two of them,” and that really was difficult to say. At least he was sort of friends with Tucker.

“Yeah. I think that guy does hard drugs now.” She smiled, finishing up a drawing of a smiley-faced dick with a hat.

“Yeah… I think now would be the time that I say stay the fuck away from that.” Grif nodded, craning to see what she was drawing. “Awesome. That looks absolutely awesome.”

“Thanks! I called it Simmons… Cause his name is Dick, right?” She grinned. “But yeah. Not cool. Not hot.”

Grif snorted, and leaned forward to give her a high five. “Nice one! And nice choice. You usually dont get over someone like that this fast. Could it by my baby sister is finally growing up?”

She slapped his hand and grinned. “Ain’t I just?… And I’m not a baby. You’re like…. Only some years older than me. But Yeah. And that means I don’t have to be baby sat, right?” Truth be told she wouldn’t mind an extra person wandering around the house whilst Grif was gone.

“I’m still gonna ask someone to stay with you, just because I know otherwise the bills wont get paid, and then you’re going to complain that you dont have any lights. Or food because the fridge would be broken.”

“Yeah, yeah. I know..” She pretended to pout. “Suppose it could be awesome for you to come home to a place tidy and that.”

“I think it’s going to have to be when I get those transplants done anyways…” Grif shrugged.

“Still, that’s plenty of time for him to clean up the whole entire house.” She grinned before adding. “-And I bet he will.”

He laughed, “He’ll clean and actually like doing it. Why do you think I suggested he stay with you?”

“Yeeahh. But Donut likes that shit too. And he’s not as… Obsessive. ”

“Yes and no. Donut may not be as big a neat freak, but I bet you anything he’ll want to redecorate, and paint and shit. Be a lot more work in the long run.”

“As long as its him working, why would you care….” She paused. Donut seemed to favour ‘lightish-red.’ “Okay, fair point.”

“Yeah…” he nodded, “I know it wouldnt make much difference to you, but I do not want to come home to a pink house.”

“What, why?! You’re hurt. Why do I still have to do homework?”

Grif gave the stack of binders on his bedside table a sour look. They seemed to be multiplying already. “I dont get out of classwork either, you know. Some dickhead thought that he was helping by getting the work I’ll miss.”

“…Is it the same dick that’s on your leg…” Kai asked, he would get it. “I don’t wanna. Maybe I can talk Simmons into doing it all too.”

“Kaiii,” he whined, “You cant do that when that’s what I was gonna try to do! I’m the sick one here! And yes, its the dick on my leg.”

“Well, we can both do it. He can practice with mine, then do yours afterwards. See, easy? How else was I gonna pass Algebra?”

“I don’t think Simmons is going to think like that. I think he’s going to think this is the perfect opportunity to tutor you.” He smiled, “I think its kind of a good idea.”

“Urgh… Don’t go all ‘Mother bird’ on me, Bro. Not cool.” Kai shook her head. “When do I get tested?”

Grif just laughed, “I’m still your big brother, no matter how cool I am.” Then he grew a little more serious. “I’ll make an appointment for you this weekend so you dont miss anything for school. Or anything else important.”

She rolled her eyes. “You’re such a dork, you know that?” OKay, so maybe it was probably better that she stay in school. Simmons would be too, and if she stayed home, there probably won’t be anyone there, unless she convinced Tucker to bunk off. “Okay, fine..”

Grif smiled and gave his sister’s hand a squeeze, “Thanks for being willing to go through that for me Kai. Even if we’re not a match, it means a lot to me. I love you.”

“Yeah, yeah. You big dork. Ditto.” Kai gave a smile, and nudged her brother with her shoulder. “I mean you would do it for me.. Though mine are probably healthier…”

“Probably.” He agreed. “I dont want this to be you in the hospital bed for the same reason a few years down the road, ok? Dont do whatever it was that turns kidneys to shit.”

She frowned. “…What does turn kidney’s to shit? I have no fucking idea… But yeah. I’m not going to bust my body, so it’s all cool.”

“You know… I actually dont know what does that… They said it was genetic, but I dont know if that means that we both have shitting stuff, or what.”

“Nah.. I’ll be fine, Bro. Don’t worry about it, yeah?” Then she sighed. “Trust our mother to fuck us over one last time, I don’t care how cool the circus is, that’s fucking mean.”

Grif bit his lip, and shook his head, “… She had to go follow her dreams man. Where else is she going to be able to show off those wonderful talents of hers?”

“Yeah, I know.” She agreed reluctantly. “I mean who else can be fa,t and bearded, and a woman all at the same time? I don’t think I can..”

“I wouldnt want you to try, either.” Grif laughed. “It seems like it’d be fucking difficult, doesnt it?”

#v: seven periods of nap and lunch #bluegrif #archival footage #jesus i had no idea this thread was that long lakdjflks

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thegurlbehindthesmile · 3 years

Text

Head Storm.

If i don't take minute to write these things down they just weigh so heavy. where do i begin.

i'm frustrated.

sometimes its like a repeating nightmare. Its me and brian and we are on a 13 hour flight to Germany. this double decker plane is huge and filled with strangers and i cant see their faces. i know our destination is a long way away. im tired. and there we are in the middle row. u next to me and me on the isle. We're sharing your blue ipod with music i never really listen to and this is the moment im stuck in.

for a minute my body goes into drive. at first you think the dream would play out as i remember, but this isnt a memory its a dream and now that im more aware- more awake within the dream; im always asking myself.

why am i here? wheres juan? wheres julian? (thats right this is a dream/ im sleeping)

and i realize im meant to doo something. and i go and look at brian and its not the same. i can barely see his face and i no longer remeber the sound of his voice. its as if im stuck in my seat.

the dream is almost paused- as i struggle to put these pieces of the real memory back together. its like im waiting. im waiting for brian to speak first. im just sitting here. on this plane.

i went to russia in 2005. the trip was from philly airport to germany than germany to russia.

it was for a youth peace team mission. we met up with kids our age over there and talked about religion and life. it wasnt just us two- we had a team of our friends and it was amazing.

It was the first time i had left the country- it was the first time i had flown without my mom. first time i felt homesick. the first time i saw how big the world really is. how there is so much to see and so much going on. it was an experience.

i never knew Demisexual was a thing. (The term 'demisexual' comes from the concept being described as being "halfway between" sexual and asexual. ... The gray-A spectrum usually includes individuals who very rarely experience sexual attraction; they experience it only under specific circumstances.)

i didnt even know what sexual was- i was young naive and anything i did know about sex and beauty most likely came from the wrong place. i managed to get all the way to freshman year of highschool without really relationships that included sexual and non sexual.

freshman year was horrible. i was the new girl becuase i didnt attend the same middle school as the other kids and my prior school was MUCH smaller than the highschool i went to. but i was excited for the change. i asked for the change.

its easy to say "well idk?" when u have lack of experience. Idk why i was single so long. idk why i never wanted a bf. idk why i have never kissed anyone idk? idk? idk? (...now i know) my first thoughts were always like omg maybe noone wanted to kiss me? maybe im the weird one. less desired. not wanted. i was the problem. i imagined my body was less than perfect and i guess my attitude and demenor wasnt the dating type (lies) i just felt weird and alone.

sometimes people cant make a sexual connection unless they have an emotional connection with someone as well. it isnt prude it isnt wierd its just how it works (literally) the better and more i get to know you i can finally start feeling any real connection at all especially sexually.

this new demisexual wasnt even a thing until i was half way through my twenties...THAT and pansexual (not limited in sexual choice with regard to biological sex, gender, or gender identity.) people would ask "well whats ur type?!" idk id say?? i didnt even realize internally i found both sexs appealing. not even just sexs just ANYone. hearts not parts we say now.

i was basiclly lost ,frustrated and didnt understand a damn thing about myself.

brian and i were friends. we went to the same church- we lived in the same town. our families knew each other. it was a very safe space for me. i didnt think brian liked me. ( i didnt think ANYONE liked me; that way anyway) i had guy friends i had girl friends i just felt like we were all at the same level. most my girl friends had kissed people, most had bfs; same with the guys. i just didnt... it wasnt that i didnt like brian- i just had no idea what any of this stuff was. how to even begin "liking someone" i wasnt stupid - i was scared? i felt scared. worried that becase i hadnt had the experiences - that i wasnt good at ANY of it. i got to know brian because he was around. youth group trips and church events ; school- we were always hanging around each other.

i was never a physical person. honestly self pleasure was the only pleasure i knew and i thought id be going to hell for masturbating so theres that complex. a secret i held tight forever.

i didnt know the more i talked and was around brian i would fall inlove with him. people SAYYY that- but in my world it was a must. it was inevitable. as long as he was open with me and vulnerable- i began to want him.

he was my first kiss. and he let me kiss him. it might of seemed innocent ( i mean it was really) but it was big for me. the only person in the world i had let in. and he was ready to reak havoc on my new world. kisses lead to make outs- making out lead to sex- and that was that. id say i was his or he was mine but i guess we were each others. i wasnt ready to do this with anyone else. i didnt think i even could. it took so long for brian to become this person for me. i was..postive; id make this love last a life time. but that wasnt the case it was a rocky 3 years but at the end of it i personally learned alot.

i still didnt know all that i said above. on my rocky one relationship road... i was frustrated. i didnt know these things existed and while life seemed easy for brian- it was not for me. i struggled and argued with myself resulting in very poor communication with brian leading to only end in sight. if i wasnt making an emotional connection with my person then it had to be the opposite; i wasnt interested at all. almost the opposite- i felt nothing.

i let the hurt find its way in- i let it block any form of fix. the emotions were turned off. and the result was sexless.

i went on a rampage and found a random lover. Peter was ..peter. i didnt know him prior to meeting him- i barely knew much about him at all. all i knew was i was numb and needed to feel again. ( now if only i had known who i was i would of tried to build and talk through these emotions, break some walls down. reopen the lines. reconnect and succeed. but i didnt know that. all i knew was i was hurting and i nolonger had my person- i wanted to feel again.) i wouldnt even say i was attracted to peter. i really wasnt "looking" at all. i wasnt looking with my eyes or my heart.

i was already pretty good at hurting myself just plain jane. but this was a whole different world. what if i could just have sex and not care. just do it and live. just feel something. and i did it. i found peter and yeah we had sex. i was postive i didnt want a relationship ( i was heading down the wrong road in the wrong direction WITH no directions) it was a mess. a mess that didnt last long (thankfully)

i look back at it now and would like to have lunch with peter. although im sure im a spek of nothing in his life stream; he was a pretty big rock in mine. mainly to say sorry. sorry for using him. more sorry that i had no intentions at all. i was a shell of person and im sorry he never got the chance to meet the true me. cuz im not that person at all. and i think he was geniune and we could of learned alot from each other.

i am 30 years old now and still to this day brian and peter are the only people ive slept with except my current husband.

ive trusted 2 (brian and juan) of those souls with my heart. my whole heart. ive been with them to the extent i lost myself. my body has craved them and known them. and they will forever have a piece of me. they took with them what insecurities i had and threw them out the window. i was engulfed and loved and it didnt stop. i had alot of sex with brian as i currently have alot of sex with juan (my husband)

if i had known who i was then i would of talked to more people. resulting in more meaningful connections. resulting in more stories and experiences to tell about. girls guys gays all different kinds of souls i would of touched and danced with. but i didnt know what i know now.

time has given me the learning ive neeeded and now i know alot.

as my nightmare continues its me and brian sitting on a 13 hour plane. i want to ask him how he is, and what hes doing. what other souls hes experienced and what life is like for him now. we would laugh and joke and unerstand that life goes on and although we are not lovers any longer we wouldnt be who we are without having known each other. on this plane its noone but us. reality doesnt hit because its just a distraction and we just want to catch up.

its like a clock is ticking and were anxious. as if he too knows this is a dream, a mear astroprojection into a memory. and noone talks. we both stay silent. its almost like i cant breathe.. its almost like im drowning.

i havent spoken to brian in atleast 10 years possibly. not a single word. across the universe is a soul i once loved wholefully and now were strangers. i think a piece of me hurts still today. like a lost limb. how can i go through life and succeed at only making connections that count when my first connection is fried and dead.

how do i begin to process the things i now understand when one small piece of me is gravitating through space.

i was told not to long ago that you are infact alive. simply living- trying to stay to urself.

as this new person i am. as i am learning and growing. you were a big part of who i was- i wish u could see who ive become. my soul acknowledges your absence and i am aware of it.

i hope love and light find you on ur dark days. and that you follow that light to become whoever you are meant to be.

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cow3survivor · 3 years

Text

Ep. 12: “Go Back On Mute” - Jennet

JENNET

trying to strategize and my mind is blanking... missing ethan hours :pensivestrawberry:

JONES

https://youtu.be/NrJhg-j-6WI

JESSICA

Here is what happened last round, another essay by Jessica. So everyone started targeting Lindsay again. This was not ideal for me because I'd like to keep Lindsay in the game as long as possible -- right now she is in my final 3 but she also is extremely unlikely to vote against me or really do anything against me. When I came online, everyone was acting as if this had just already been decided which was super annoying. Mikey said "I've heavily heard Lindsay" and it's like.... from who?? From our alliance of three other people?? That isn't heavily, that's everyone else making a decision and just saying I have to go along with it. The annoying thing was I couldn't really push too strongly for Lindsay to stay without that looking suspicious, plus apparently she doesn't really talk to a lot of people so like... I can only do so much. Then I spoke with Jake an hour before the vote and he suggested voting Sam. I said that I found that to be a waste of a move because Sam doesn't have a lot of close allies so we could always just vote him later. Also personally I wanted Sam to stay because I don't think he'd ever vote me out but I didn't say that. Obviously I preferred Sam leaving over Lindsay though, so I mean I'll take what I can get. Then as Jake and I were on call, he gets added to a chat with Jennet, Sammy, and Mikey. I find this very suspicious because ummm I'm supposed to be aligned with three of those four people and it's a very Choice Decision to leave me out of that. I extra do not love that move because I feel like Sammy and Mikey were basically willing to ruin their relationships with me to keep Jennet in the game; they played it off like "oh well I just like Jennet more than Lindsay, we aren't aligned" but I'm not buying it. I don't think Jennet made that chat entirely on her own without any prompting -- I'm pretty sure Sammy and/or Mikey told her not to put me in it which is giving me a huge pause. I told Jake that what we should do is make sure Shane/Lindsay/Sam were voting Jennet, figure out who Jennet/Sammy/Mikey (and mysteriously Jones, who Sammy just magically happened to get to vote his way? Okay...) were voting and then we could just pick who left. I said that personally I didn't want to keep Jennet over Sam because that chat was making me feel like there was a three or four person alliance we weren't in and that if we took out Jennet, we'd be breaking that up. Then I had to talk with Shane and Lindsay which was ummm interesting to say the least. I like working with them but they just??? Will do and say things that make no sense. Like Shane said if we couldn't get the votes on Jennet, we needed to vote for Jake. Ummmmm I am not voting for Jake, Jake tells me things and might be my only lifeline in this game. Anyways, I told them please do not do that let's vote Jennet. Then during the vote, I messaged Jake and I said hey what do you want to do, Sam or Jennet? He told me Sam buuut I said that I was still doing Jennet because I was worried about that alliance being a thing. He told me he'd do that too but then ended up switching back to Sam which is not a big deal, I don't think there's a big conspiracy there I think he genuinely changed his mind during the vote. Even if I knew he was voting Sam, I probably would not have done it? Just because I wasn't supposed to know what was going on.... although I haven't officially said that to Mikey and Sammy. After the vote I nicely :) confronted both of them (which quick note --- how can y'all not only lie to an alliance member but?? not even approach them after the vote????? jury management found dead). They originally tried to tell me it was very last second / imply it was made through a game of telephone and not an organized chat but I was like uhhhh nice try I know that isn't the case. This round if we could get Sammy out.... that would be really truly amazing. I do not want that vote block he has going into the final 7 and even though he says he trusts me, I feel like we just don't connect strategically in a way where I feel like I can actually trust him with information. It's weird everyone thinks Jake is playing the middle because I honestly think Sammy is. A f7 without Sammy is great because I feel like everyone would be very fractured, like when Daisy left, and then they'll all need me to move forward so I'll (hopefully!) be safe. But in order to vote out Sammy, I need Jake (and possibly Jones? or Mikey?) to be on board. For now I'm working on Jake and if I can get him on board, I might let him take the leap to tell Mikey and then I will approach him afterwards. I'm hoping Jake could also pull in Jennet or Jones to make that happen but it's hard to say. I know Jones and Sammy are friends outside of this so I'm very hesitant to try and break that up and Jennet I really cannot read. She's dug her heels in when I've tried to talk strategy with her before and I also get the sense she's too focused on what has happened in the past instead of what could be happening right now. But if Jake tells her the plan, maybe I could get Sammy/Jennet/Mikey/Jones against Jake/Shane/Lindsay, I pull Mikey over and/or Sammy wastes his vote cancel? Who knows.... hopefully people come online soon!

SAMMY

Tbh...I am feeling a bit annoyed in this round with my allies. I am one of the few original Brookesia left so obviously I am feeling a bit nervous that there could be connections too strong for me to surpass. The alliance I am in (called) wants to go after Jess. While I didn't want to contest this idea, I felt as if Jess wasn't going after me so this isn't really great for my game? I want Jess in this game more than I want others so like I tried pushing the Lindsay agenda a bit more just cause I would rather OG Brookesia people not keep going as it looks like that's the trajectory of the game right now. I need to find a way to split up Jake/Jones/Jennet as well and it seems like the best bet is to go after Jake. I know Jones already expressed her feelings about getting rid of Jennet in the future anyways so I know that connection isn't as strong as her and Jakes. I know Jess/Shane/Lindsay all think alike. Mikey wants to do whatever the alliance wants to do. I considered using my vote block power this round but I just don't know if it's worth giving up right now if that makes sense? Like I could flip to Jess/Shane/Lindsay and use a vote block and then vote out like Jake? I love Jake but I just can't be a part of an alliance knowing there are three people who have a tighter connection with each other than they do with me. I need to flip but I don't know if this is the round to do it in. ugg decisions. I love Jess so much and I want to tell her that her name is going around but I don't want it to fall back on me that I leaked so I really just want to observe as much as possible and make my decision right before the deadline teehee.

JENNET

after tribal i spent like 30 minutes being gaslight by shane and then letting jessica guilt trip herself, a good week

(a little later)

shane won immunity and i bet hes jumping for joy since i told him hes my #1 target but the gag of it all is i want miss jessica out bc shes won a few challenges and shes very complacent/ doesnt make her own moves and just does what others say

(after making a gameplan)

after tribal i spent like 30 minutes being gaslight by shane and then letting jessica guilt trip herself, a good week

JESSICA

I think we may have the votes to get Sammy out.... hopefully Jake is being honest and will at least tie it because I think if he does, we've got this! If he isn't and I am voted out, I just have to say yikes @ Sammy @ Jennet @ Jones ignoring me all day before voting for me? Once again, jury management found dead. Hopefully I survive!

MIKEY

there really isnt any. these ppl are predictable and boring. I wouldnt mind leaving so i didnt have to pretend to care about their boring lives. im kidding but im not tbh. anyways im voting lindsay shes very fun but i want her out

JAKE

Okay so no video this week I’m with ~*family*~ but in short I’m continuing my flip-flopping and I’m trying to gun for Sammy this round... he’s just so dangerous and clearly the Touchy Subjects questions are telling of how “safe” he is and the kind of chances he has to win the whole game. So right now we’ve got four votes for Sammy if Shane Lindsay and Jess are being truthful, and if the “five” is being truthful then they should be voting for Lindsay (or Jessica because apparently no one here can make up their minds lmaoooo). I’m hoping that Jennet doesn’t want to go to rocks and she flips to vote Sammy but I’m going to stick with this group, I think keeping Sammy any longer is really risky (especially with his supposed relationship with Jones and Daisy and the potential that he has a block vote advantage?? Just found out about that today eek). So in short I’m hoping Sammy goes this week and hopefully I don’t totally burn the bridge with Mikey and Jennet and Jones? We’ll see hehe 🤪 xoxo gossip girl

SHANE

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1UpF46NGRB-92jGSyhbOeRSAPgqImwT43

LINDSAY

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1901p_EYd1N_iKGJKG6YeMTbedcGPcYNW/view?usp=drivesdk

#cowsurvivor #confessionals

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shiny-craboo-blog · 7 years

Text

@rockformed replied to your post : i keep goin away for a long time but theres a good...

what asshole?? 👀👀👀👀👀

WHOOO lemme tell you this is a long one (sorry about any spelling errors i was tryna get this done quickly)

it was actually that guy that we played overwatch with together once.

ive known him since about december, but he was saying lots of homophobic and racist shit, so i was like eh might as well try to make him a better person, but to do that, you gotta get close, and i started liking him (literally @ past me why?????)

so i flirt a little here, giggle a little there, and he falls in love with me. i liked him too, but he liked me to a point where it was obsessive. he was telling me i saved his life and that out of everyone on earth im his favorite. i come out to him as trans one day, and after a lot of thinking, he was like “okay yeah im okay with this” and i was happy

however, like i said, he was really obsessive. he wouldnt let me play games with anyone else unless he was there, and when i tried to watch a show with one of our mutual friends, he gets all upset about it.

eventally, even though he liked me, he started being a real ass. i told him that i didnt really like him anymore and that i wanted to stay friends, and he turned it into this huge fight and ended it with “Forget it... Good night.” - and he used that phrase every (and “goodbye”) every time he wanted a conversation to sound final or like he was going to die if i didnt give him all my attention right then and there.

the fighting continued for a few months, during which he called me a sociopath, narcissistic, not worthy off being called a human being, and all that typa stuff. he started feeling suicidal - even though he felt that way before i met him, he started feeling it stronger because he didnt have me constantly fawning over him to ease it out - and he straight up told me that he blamed me for his feelings.

the fights got reaaalllll bad, and eventually he had a set day and time, and every time i said i was going to call his mom about it, he got really defensive and acted like i was attacking him, saying “dont test me” and shit

he became really emotionally manipulative and just flat out malicious tbh

the day came around and i blocked him because i didnt want to hear about it, and he started yet another fight. he didnt do anything though because half an hour later he came crawling back saying that he needed someone to talk to and that he had this whole change of heart and that he realized what his friends were worth and how he acted really shitty and that he was sorry

but he didnt change his behavior at all lmao

he kept arguing with me, so i started just. not joining as much and not talking to him as often and he got really pissy, asking me if i was talking to other people and accusing me of talking with this guy who he hates (the guy he hates left to make another server with all the people this guy was an asshole to so they could have a place where he wasnt there being a dick and the guy im telling you about acts like the victim whenever he talks about it like?? literally if u were a better friend they wouldnt have felt the need to?) (and i totally was talking to the guy bc the enemy of your enemy is your friend and all that) but he was a real ass about it.

and saturday!! this saturday!!! he was an ass the moment i joined the call so i left and he got mad saying like “you know how i get upset when you leave the call” and i was like “i just??? dont wanna be there if ur gonna be mean to me the moment i join??” and he said

THIS BITCH

said

“its a guy thing to be mean to your friends. but i guess you wouldn’t know about that ;)”

so i blocked him. he texts me saying that hes been mean because his dads been on his back about college, and i said it wasnt an excuse. a few minutes later, someone from the server messages me sayin that nick said if i dont unblock him hes gonna ban me. so i unblocked him and asked for a reason why i should stay. this bitch. this ass. says “because i thought we were friends” LIKE BIIIIIIITCH PLEAAAAAAASE YOU KNOW DAMN WELL WE AINT

anyway we fought for 3 hours and rather than giving me any good reasons to stay he called me stupid and said i misinterpreted the message like?? how else am i supposed to interpret it????????

so im staying, making him fall in love with me again, then leaving.

bonus: i made a list of the highlights of some of the shit things hes said to me

"Forget it... good night." "i used to trust everyone then the thing happened with my cousin so i stopped sharing myself or exposing myself. then i did over the years with kii then she backstabbed me. then ness and it happened again. i didnt trust anyone and still wasnt ok with sharing myself. then u stepped in and made me feel happy and wanted and like i could trust people. then you said you loved me like you did. i opened up and pursued and got lead on for 15 hours a day for a month up until i got enough courage to try to stand and speak open heartedly and with courage and the next day you lose all interest." "you know what? you obviously dont like me anymore. im over it you win. im done chasing. the goalposts always change. its over." "i cant stop chasing you. you are literally my favorite person on earth." "im doing this once a day from now on. wanna go out" "1 reason i got on ow. *1 reason i got on ow off my psych. guess it doesnt matter to you." “For the record the reason im mad all the time is because im fucking pissed at you but cant take it out for some reason.” “reason im so shit ight now is caught i thought i was at rock bottom and you took me up the mountain just to fling me off. forget it. good night." "youre still online. just gonna pretend im not here?" "hope this doesnt wake you up but sorry for being a cunt." "i still want to die haha. life sucks" "im sorry." me: you purposely did something to make me mad and then get upset when i get mad "im hald zoned in rn im getting killed by bad vibes but im not gonna make you mad ever again." "why did you fool me. i fight with you a lot now and its because of what you did to me and how ive lost my sense of self and all emotions because of you. but then i remember this is just how i usually am and being happy is what people are supposed to be like and im not so this is normal and only my fault so. i forgot where i was going with this but take care friend." "if it was the concept thing then why do i still love you." "i get upset because i have to actively avoid falling for you." "im only angry and mean to you because i dont understand my emotions." "im gonna kill myself saturday at 7:32 pm" (<<<this was two weeks ago hes fine now) "im not gonna do it i just want attention" "to keep it 100 i just said that so you wouldnt call anyone." "dont test me" "eat shit" "if youre trying to make me unfriend you its working" "actual human beings dont pull that bullshit. they suck it up and stick to their word or break the news to the other and dont drag them along." me: every humans a human regardless of whether or not they feel "theyre a human. not an actual human. theyre a human but not worthy of being called one." "in 3 months you managed to fuck with my emotions and make me want to kill myself more than kii did in 3 years." "i think this is the last conversation were gonna have. if you got anything important to say speak now or forever hold your peace. alright youre in overwatch and missed your chance." "have fun with your game hope its worth losing me over."

me: im going to call your mom and tell her right now "and say what? 'im a bad friend and now nick wont talk to me?'"

me: no. 'nicks planning on killing himself.' "and ill just say its someone im amd at trying to get revenge on me" "im not convinced that its not a whole thing made specifically to drive me to suicide." "in queue rather than fixing problems. typical. goodbye, asshole." "what if by trying to stop the outcome u saw you just pushed me away from one of the only people i trusted and now im on a path that ends in my inevitable self destruction." "no thats the depression but i am saying u took away what made me happy." "forget it, ill catch you later. apparently no goodbyes either lol." "bye oats." "the only thing you will ever love besides yourself is overwatch. bye." "are you there i just got back and i really need someone." "beause youre the middle man i guess and it was a test of allegiance i think in my mind." "idk i just feel like not many people actually like me deep down and its a shit thing of me to put that on others." "hows ness doing" "because im done walking on eggshells for you, snowflake. "its a guy thing to be a dick to your friends. guess u wouldnt understand ;)" "sorry for being a jerk. dad has been riding me all week and im mad all the time." "maybe you would get it if your dad ever punched you or woke you up by throwing shit at you." (i know for a fact his dad doesnt do this. there was a whole week where we were in a call 24/7 to see how long we could get one to last and his dad brings him dinner and plays xbox in the same room sometimes. i get that from an outside perspective this may seem mean to overlook, but if you knew this guy, you wouldnt put it past him to lie about shit like this just for attention.) "youre being such a baby over this. its not a big deal, its an argument." "considering you didnt write it id consider it awful stupid of you to think you can interpret it better than the author." "you dont know me"

#babbbles #just like #fuck that guy?#legit thinkin about ruinin his entire life. telling future employers hes racist and stuff.

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rowz · 4 years

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Partners in Crime Preview

There are currently 10 chapters up if you would like to read more the link will be at the bottom of the post <3

Chapter 0

"How many are in the room" Katsuki mutters in Izuku's ear when they we just in earshot of one another mouth barely moving as he looking between Izuku and a man in the corner of the room gun trained on them, "only this guy, what about outside?" Izuku mutters back holding Katsuki's hand in a tight grip as Katsuki moved closer, this was supposed to be their final kiss before either of the two took a bullet to the chest, it was up to who ever grabbed the gun to their rights first,but that wasn't going to happen today. "Four two guarding the door one guarding the entrance to this place and the other in a camera room" his mutters were barely a whisper at this point as he leaned down eyes still trained on the man in the corner "Think we have enough time to leave this shit hole?" Izuku cursed "No." Katsuki says before reaching carefully for the gun and kissing Izuku tenderly, they had barely parted from their kiss when a shot rippled through the room with a loud

'BANG'.

Chapter 1

"Katsuki Meet your newest partner Izuku Midoriya, you remember him right, you two used to play together when you were just babies" Mitsuki says with a wicked grin on her face as she stared at the green haired freckled boy, who looked just as elated to see his missing 'aunt', looked like something never change.

The two of them were 18 when they saw each other again, Izuku didn't seem to change on first appearance, he seemed to still had a big heart...to big for Katsuki's liking and a bright ass smile that could probably blind a person not used to it by now, and with Katsuki….well….he didn’t seem to had changed either, still cold towards people, he kept his distance, he was raised to lead, for he would be taking over his family's company soon when they see him fit enough to lead that is, Mistuki believed he was still ‘too weak’ and was hell bent on keeping him in line, and it was honestly starting to piss him off, and his father, Masaru, had tried his best to keep his mother off his back but alot of good that did him.

Looking at this guy he had grown up with until about eight years ago made him even more angrier cause he knew Inko hadn't been doing her part since they left for America, she was supposed to make him more suitable for the line of work everyone else in this fucked up makeshift family had done, and that job was to kill.

Kill for money, kill for food, kill to pay rent, kill to survive, but no Inko didn't do this she babied him and now this is going to be a whole other issue he’s gonna have to deal with, Katsuki just hopes he knew how to aleast shoot a gun. "Yeah I remember him" He says with a hint of irritation, looking down on him but not by much Izuku was maybe a inch or so shorter than him, "Hey Kacchan'' He says using that same old nickname he used when they were kids, though Katsuki didn't miss the slight twitch of his smile, Mitsuki did though apparently as she continued speaking "Now how about you two go catch up while I go see Inko, Izuku by the way where is your mother honey?" Mitsuki asks with a sweet tone "Talking to Uncle Masaru, in the front yard I think" He says facing Mitsuki again, her grin widens even more at the mentions of her best friends whereabouts, she then ruffles Izuku's hair with a fond smile fixed on her face before walking off saying as she left "You two behave got it" Izuku of course responding in a "yes ma'am" and Katsuki a loud tsk before grabbing Izuku’s wrist and leading him to the kitchen before letting go.

In the kitchen it was filled with awkward silence with the occasional clunking from the dishwasher currently going.

Izuku sat at the kitchen aisle while Katsuki went in the fridge, after a while of silence Izuku spoke up, “Kacchan how’ve you been?”, again with the old nickname, it wasn't like they were friends anymore eight years is alot it can change a person “Stop acting all buddy buddy dumbass, its been eight years since you last saw me”Katsuki hissed Izuku sighs and his smile falls just a little more than last time, his smile almost completely dropping “Yeah, I know, but I still see you as a friend of mine, even though by now I know you probably don’t see me as a friend anymore” Izuku says with a low hum, Katsuki looks back with a look of irritation “Thats fucking stupid, for all you know I could be running a drug ring or some shit like that” Katsuki hissed “Like killing people isn’t any worse, atleast five out of the ten people are killed because of something petty or spitful, noone deserves to die for those reasons.” Izuku raises an eyebrow “Your.. gonna have to change your morals if you plan to work in this line of work Midoriya” Katsuki grabs out several items from the fridge; an egg craton, two onions, dashi, and two scallions he got earlier today, and boneless skinless chicken. He then pulled out several items from a pantry; dry sake, soy sauce, and sugar, “Can you cook nerd” Izuku stands from his seat with a quiet sigh he rolls up his sleeves and stands beside Katsuki grabbing a knife from the knife block beside the stove “Of course I can” he then grabs one of the onions while Katsuki grabs a bowl, a saucepan, and a cutting board placing a bowl and cutting board in front of Izuku before he began combining the dashi, soy sauce, sake, and sugar in the saucepan as the stove was lit to high temperatures, Izuku in the meantime cut up the onions into slivers and chopped the scallions into thin equal parts.

As the cooked the food Izuku spoke up in a monotonous tone with a look of uncaring in his eyes, “I didn't ask to join this business, I’d rather be traveling right now being a photographer since I finished school early and everything.” at this Katsuki gave him a look mixed with confusion and irritation,seemed like the only thing he knew how to show was of those two emotions, “Why in the hell are you waste your time here then,just fucking leave” Katsuki snapped “Cant exactly do that now can I, my mother has filled me in on to much as it is and my dad….. Look, long story short I can’t back out anymore even if I wanted too.” Izuku could feel Katsukis red eyes glaring holes into him even without him looking, because Katsuki had always wanted to go into his parents career choice, sure it wasnt conventional, and honestly wasnt morally correct killing people for money, but that was life for you and Katsuki wanted simple money even if it meant murder, Izuku found saw no good coming from this though and the two of them knew it, thanks to Izuku witnessing a murder his mother did right in front of him when he was six, since then he has been admit that killing was wrong, and he was right it was but it also bring in money so it worth the risk,right.

“Thats fucking stupid I’m pretty sure that my parents wouldnt care if changed your mind” “Yeah, but then theres my dad, and he made sure to clarify that if I quit I’ll be hunted down by him himself” Izuku frowned at the memory of his father pointing a gun to him for bringing up wanting to be a photographer when he grew up, it was a honest slip up,he was barely eleven,but that slip up was one that he has since regretted since then, Katsuki snickered lightly “Sounds like the old hag” he muttered before turning on the rice and stepping back to lean on the counter aisle “Last I’ve heard he’s out at America working double agent for another hitman agency, heard anything from him, he’s been radio silent here” Izuku shakes his head “No last I heard from him was about a year ago when he said they were sending him out to kill some gut named Yagi Toshinori that had been in the area at the time, he could be dead for all we know” Izuku answers nonchalantly, Katsuki laughed a little louder at this “Your really dont like that old man do you” Izuku decided now was a time to not answer and just shrugged, at this Katsuki smirked “maybe you did change a little” he thought outloud Izuku shrugged once more before checking on the rice and turning the other eye off that held the mixed ingredients “Kacchan, can you answer something for me?” Izuku asked, turning to face Katsuki again, “Why did you hate me when we were younger?” Izuku asks lifting onto a nearby counter top and sitting on it with a small tilt in his head eyes on Katsuki “You don't have to lie either I heard you in the hall at school a few days before you left talking to your friends about how you hated my guts, I left before I could hear your reasoning can you answer that now, I wanna know” the look in Izukus eyes was of pure numbness, not a speck of emotion showing, what the fuck happened to Izuku while Katsuki was in America.

Katsuki sighed in a low voice he starts remembering the past “Well, to put it bluntly, nerd….You were a huge ass crybaby it pissed me off, not to mention your way to caring it was absolutely irritating, you fall in love way to fucking easily, your faith in humanity is fucking rediculas, and not to mention your excessive mummbling made me wanna punch you,did you ever break that fucking habit by the way, but anyways everything you did pissed me off” Katsuki cut himself off realizing at this point he was gonna work himself into actually ranting about his issues with him which shouldnt matter anymore anyways, thinking on how stupid this all was only started to piss him off, but he brought his focus back to Izuku anyways to see his expression hadnt changed even slightly, a few long minutes of silence later and Izuku hops off the counter and turned the rice off “foods done” he says plainly before making bowls, this unsettles Katsuki,greatly. The damn nerd wasn’t reacting to his words at all he blew it off, usually either they would start arguing or he would tear up…. But he didn't do either.

Though Katsuki wanted to ask what the fuck happened to him over the years, but he didn’t have a chance as Izuku turned around with a smile on his face holding two trays in his hand “Hungry?” he asks as if nothing happened,Katsuki lifted up from the counter and grabbed the tray from Izuku “For the sake of our partnership lets restart alright forget our past” again Izuku confused Katsuki, he nodded nonetheless.

“Fine by me”

Chapter 2

Katsuki’s red eyes was trained on Izuku, everything about him was wrong, it’s like he turned into a literal different person one minute and then back to the kid he knew as a kid a moment later, it completely threw him off, though Katsuki was practically tossed out of his thoughts when he heard Izukus annoyed sigh “Bakugo can you stop staring and just eat your Oyakodon please” he asks placing his spoon down “What the fuck happened to you?” Katsuki asked bluntly Izuku raised a eyebrow “What do you mean” he asks “This whole personality swap your doing its fucking freaky” “Your delusional” Izuku said matter-a-factly before returning to his food “NO IM FUCKING NOT, THE ENTIRE TIME WE WERE IN THE KITCHEN YOUVE BEEN ALL MONOTONE AND SHIT BUT THEN SUDDENLY YOUR ALL HAPPY AND SHIT THE VERY NEXT MOMENT” Izuku covered his ears the second Katsuki started shouting before looking up at the boy “Your acting like a child” “eh!?! What the fuck do you mean by that you damn nerd?!” he asks leaning over his food as he stood, he looked about ready to launch out of his seat, “You heard me your acting like a child, now sit down and eat your food” he motions with his hand toward the boys’s bowl before his phone started ringing and he stood up and excused himself from the table and left with a furiously pissed off Katsuki still staring at the greenette for a moment.

The greenette’s phone call ended about five minutes later, probably some nobody, and Katsuki had left the room a bit after leaving his bowl of barely touched food, ‘rude’ Izuku thought before he walked over and grabbed his bowl and sealed the top in plastic wrap before finishing his food before his mother and aunt walked in “Izuku~!” his mother sang walking over to him with a soft look in her eyes “Where’s the brat?” Mitsuki asks noticing her kid missing almost immediately, Izuku shrugged “I’m not really sure I stepped out cause a friend of mine called and when I came back we up and vanished” Izuku stated finishing his bowl before he picked up katsukis tray of food and his “But we made Dinner a bit ago we didn't bother coming to get you guys since you all were getting caught up” Izuku give them a small smile that didn’t exactly meet his eyes “Imma be out front for a bit if you need me if you see Ka-Bakugo mind not telling him where I am he’s the last face I wanna see” he asks before turning on his heel and placing the trays on the counter and leaving for the front, though he did over here Mitsuki whistle and ask something along the lines of “when did he grow up”. Izuku shook his head at this and continued to the front before seeing his uncle Masaru “Hey Izuku” he gives Izuku a small smile as he fixes his glasses and adjusts the papers he was currently carrying, probably from his side job, “Hey uncle I'm going out to get some fresh air” Izuku motions to the door just ahead “Where's Katsuki?” Izuku shrugs once more “I have no clue… he kinda ditched me a few minutes ago” Masaru sighs and mutters under his breath “That boy…” he frowns “Don't worry about it I’m used to it anyways” Izuku shrugged off “I'll leave you to your paper, see you uncle” “Goodbye Izuku” he gives Izuku one more smile before walking into his office Izuku took that as cue for him to carry on walking.

Once outside he reached in his pocket and pulled out a small box of cigarettes, it was a bad habit he picked up thanks to some upperclassmen and his father a few years back, when his mother found out about his smoking habit she blew up, he would like to say he’s never seen his mother so angery and ashamed of him specifically but that would be a lie, Izuku’s done alot of shit growing up, most almost fucking up his chance to get a decent education even though he knew education could only go so far he wanted to accomplish in something, his father was against it so fucking against it he showed up to the school to pull him out thank god his mother called back up to fix his wrong, thinking back to it Izuku couldn’t remember one good moment he could of possibly had with his father, for his father was either beating the living shit out of his mother intoxicated out of his damn mind, cheating; which thinking back to it Izuku had caught him plenty of times when he was little, he was either on jobs, or out doing job knows what getting god knows what, honestly if it wasnt for his father maybe he would of had a decent life...well other than the assassinations his mother does sometimes, Inko had been planning to retire next year, she would have the money since the next four clients she had are paying her 107,805,500 yen each just to kill some guy named Todoroki Enji who apparently he was some high ranking business man that fucked with the wrong family, and a man named Harima Oji which is currently under heavy security at a prison, how his mother was gonna get to the man, he had no clue but trusted she could handle herself, she was no pushover...anymore.

Currently Izuku was on his third cigarette and with a look of disgust he threw it on the floor and crushed the flame out “its getting worse” he said to himself before pocketing the cigarette box and picking up the now crushed cigarette when he heard Katsuki’s voice “FUCK OFF IF HE WANTS TO BE ALONE THEN LET HIM IM GOING OUT” Izuku could hear his voice from outside almost as clear as day, Izuku took pity in knowing their neighbors must hear them screaming at eachother all the time now, but nevermind that Izuku watched as the door swung open and Katsuki Bakugo damn near shove him into the small flowers growing just outside the house, something his mother did while his aunt and her family was gone “HEY FUCKING WATCH IT” Izuku shouts before grabbing Katsukis arm to keep himself up right from falling, this though led to Katsuki falling, Izuku barely made it out of the way in time to see the angry blonde boy crash into the dirt with a harsh thud and a “ugh” escape his lips Katsuki completely fell thanks to Izuku ‘Oh this won’t be good’ Izuku thought holding back a laugh as he stepped back to find himself trip right into the outdoor plant, “Well karma’s a bitch” Izuku grunted as he tried to stand, to bad his ass was stuck in the vase sitting on dirt and crushed plants, his balance now completely screwed he watches as Katsuki slowly rises from the ground his blonde hair now covered in dirt and his face red with anger till he sees Izuku’s current situation, Izuku watched as Katsuki's face slowly contorted into a giant shit eating grin “Fucking serves you right, enjoying that seat of yours Midoryia” He snort, Izuku shoots back “I don’t know how that dirt taste, pretty nast fall if your face has anything to say about it” at this Katsuki rushes him pulling him out of the pot and throwing him into the dirt at this point the two boys were fighting well fighting as in rolling around in the dirt throwing punches that missed most of the time because both boys had excellent reflexes, they didn’t break up until Inko sprayed water on the two from the distance with a look of annoyance written all over her face Masaru at the door way with a amused look on his face and a camera in hand Mitsuki was right beside him leaning against his shoulder with a absolutely shit-eating grin.

“CAN YOU TWO NOT BEHAVE FOR ONE MOMENT” Inko shouted glaring holes into the two soaked boys still on the ground hands buried either in the others clothing or hair, “TO THINK AFTER ALL THIS TIME NEITHER OF YOU CAN GROW UP AND PUT YOUR DIFFERENCES ASIDE KATSUKI GO TO YOUR ROOM AND GET CHANGED IZUKU” Izuku who was currently the one being pinned which also meant he wasn't as soaked as Katsuki at the moment looked up at his mother with long sigh before kneeing Katsuki in the stomach forcing him off “WE’RE LEAVING” she shouted Izuku nodded and stood dusting himself off which barely did anything, Katsuki the same, though technically this was his home and Inko was a guest he knew Inko was practically a second mother in the house when the time came, same with Inko's house his parents could order Izuku to his room if a fight broke out between the two which was almost always, sometimes they could manage to stay in the same room together and not fight over the most trivial things, but Katsuki was a hot head and Izuku a smartass with a mouth that had no filter when it came to people he didn’t like or his peers, at this point Inko saw no hope of the two every getting along long enough to even attempt to finish a assessment together.

Later that night she brought it up to Mitsuki and Masaru over the phone and Mitsuki reassured her it would be fine no matter how things play out, Masaru offered the next time she visits they all could go out to a bar he knew and have a few drinks Inko accepted and a date was set, she marked it down in her calendar and the rest of the day was treated in silence from the Midoriya household and the Bakugo household full of screaming and shouts mainly between Mitsuki and Katsuki with Masaru watching from a distance just, analyzing.

That's when an idea came to mind.

He had a plan.

A03 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23696749/chapters/56975155#workskin

#bakugou x izuku #midoriya x bakugou #m/m #also on ao3 #assassin au #hitman au #readmore

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