#but it's just a scary prospect

[dribs-and-drabbles]

#bad buddy #bad buddy series #I've been holding this fear since my school president was moved #and now you get to hear about it too #I haven't needed to take a screenshot for a while... #but it's almost certain I will want to in the future #since everything relates to bad buddy in some way #of course #anyway... #just bad buddy moving from youtube to viki in itself is a scary prospect #but I guess we have to just hope gmmtv treat us kindly

[foursaints]

I would actually live for a saintsnation group chat you and your anons have the Most Correct opinions and I wanna put em all in one place to yell together

technically in theory this blog should serve that function but my executive dysfunction is gatekeeping by making me take forever to answer your beautiful asks

#a #anon i love you but this ask is so SCARY.. the prospect of Tumblr groupchats... i would never. im just a girl #i do agree that my askers always kill it though. i dont understand how you people are so enlightened every time #im simply the vessel

[fluentisonus]

waking up from.a frightening dream at 4am in which a scary book was central which in the dream (could sort of tell I was dreaming on one level) I thoroughly believed was a real book that had been brought up the other day irl & that my dreaming mind was riffing off of bc I had not read yet. but having woken up. I'm not entirely convinced this is the case. and now I'm kind of scared to look it up tbh bc what's worse that it doesn't exist but I've dreamed about it several different nights & it's broken down my dream/reality conscious barrier (& I might dream it again??? this does happen to me) or that it does & I have to live in a world where it exists & I could read it.

#seriously considering just not sleeping any more & just getting up now at 4am now lol. i don't want to go back to sleep #thoughts #tbc in the dream the book was just a horror type deal it wasn't actually like. powerful. beyond the way it warped my 'levels' of reality #which ngl has shaken me bc i can usually tell well enough if I'm dreaming even if I can't act on it #so some sort of scary narrative/reality breakdown here #<- sorry for the distracted rambling I'm still half asleep & twitching at weird sounds. i will feel better shortly though i usually do #the last time this happened i was in high school & having a dream i could tell i was dreaming in & then 'woke up' & rolled over to find a #perfect representation of my room except the lady from my dream was standing in the middle of it facing away from me oddly still. & then #when i woke up for real I couldn't make myself turn over for like an hour i was so distressed abt what I'd see but also more importantly #that i didn't know/couldn't reliably trll if i was dreaming or not. terrifying prospect tbh #also like i DO have dreams with sequrls/repeats/returns sometimes even years later & 'remember' the last one. nightmares included. #which i hate btw

[ultimatepeter-man]

I think the thing of Cho experimenting on Ben should become a short fic

Now that would be a fic. I'd love to read a one-shot that explores all of Ben's deep-set trauma and healing from it as he learns about himself and any side-effects of being a snythezoid. Cho can be a little brash sometimes (and childish as he is still a kid) but I think once he understand just how serious this is to Ben, he'd be very careful about it.

It'd be a nice character study of Cho too and the relationship between him and Ben--which is such an unlikely duo as we rarely see them interacting in the show.

#itd be a good growing opportunity for Cho as well #I know he's brilliant #and one of the smartest people on the planet #but he's still a kid #who has kid emotions #and will do kid things #I think he'd be VERY excited about the prospect of studying Ben #And maybe he goes a little overboard and accidentally crosses one of Ben's boundaries #but one he sees the consequences of that #and understand just how scary and traumatizing all of this is for Ben #he'd take it a lot more serious #he'll learn when he needs to cute back and read the room #he'll learn not to let his excitement overrun the comfort of whoever he's doing whatever with #I like thinking about this #thank you anon #my brain is having fun #USM #Ultimate Spider-Man #Iron Spider #Amadeus Cho #Ben Reilly #Scarlet Spider #Anon #Anonymous #asks

[decarbry]

Would Yabureme ever try to see if there’s still a face behind Kurogiri’s fog?

I'm gonna say... if he did it would be way down the line when doubts or questions are starting to form because of various experiences that happen over the course of the story. Yabureme has only ever known Kurogiri in that form and the fact that he's drawn towards him instinctively is just a weird thing he doesn't understand. He wouldn't be in a position to think there might be something else to Kurogiri's appearance without someone mentioning Oboro which I don't think is likely to happen at least early on... at least not via the core LoV members. AFO or Garaki? Perhaps, especially if they're confident in how well they have him beaten down in the conditioning department.

More than that though is the issue of his quirk, which I liken to in TTRPG when oftentimes NPCs will consider casting magic a hostile action. Yabureme's quirk is so OP that it's argued it could outright kill AFO if his longetivity quirk is erased for long enough, so he'd be programmed to understand that using Erasure on an ally/superior as the worst taboo imaginable. He'd be too scared to try it.

(as an aside I realized a week or two ago that the "experiments" they were maybe running on Kurogiri during the USJ raid would have provided data they would use to fine-tune Aizawa's Nomu development just after, so thank you Kurogiri for being an extra helping hand in your best friend's destruction :) <3)

#Yabureme Aizawa AU #so yeah like... he might be tempted by it down the line after a lot of events but.. #it's a scary prospect even then #what kind of punishment would that come with?? if there was a bad effect thanks to Erasure?? his imagination (however straight-laced and #rational) would run wild out of fear #not worth it. at least for now #text post #I'm also not here to debate Erasure vs AFO insta-kill because I prefer to believe that Aizawa is just that amazing xoxoxo I will not be #hearing arguments

[paleiido]

Trying to learn new programs like they all want me to die personally

#ravings at the square #im trying rlly hard to learn things with the little time I have 👍 #some people are just more gifted than me. have more patience and motivation or idk cos goddamn #the prospect of learning how to make a game and working at the same time is so hellish I cant even bring myself to DRAW or write when #working full time. energy drained fr. but ok. i will be optimistic #if u see me whine and cry in two weeks no u dont #learning unity btw. i want. to create my silly little games. #Thats what I want the most in the world is to create. and if nobody will give me the opportunity to do so ill create it myself #Something so so so scary about being nearly 30 and having no direction in life and realizing you haven't mounted to anything but I'm not #dead yet so I still have a chance 👍 I can still create beautiful things as long Im kicking

[mildmayfoxe]

while i was out shopping i also ended up stumbling into an opening party where the nicest woman in the world had several of her close personal friends in her new store celebrating and drinking wine & i was immediately also offered wine while i shopped to which i of course said yes (sparkling rose, who could say no) despite already having two bags in my hands and having a mask on so then i had to juggle my bags into my backpack and took my mask off for a sec to take a sip of the wine before i put it back on and meanwhile more of this woman’s personal friends are showing up and cheering and excited to see each other & im just there trying to skulk around looking for something reasonably priced to purchase because of course everything is $50 ethically sourced linen napkins and artisan perfumes and little fancy espresso cup sets and stuff (you know the place) so i can buy something to make up for this surely expensive wine i’m clutching. and the owner keeps coming over to check on me & im like “sorry i feel like i’m crashing your party haha” and she keeps trying to tell me about where all the stuff in her store comes from & also the person who made this perfume is here right now that’s her and do you have any questions about anything and meanwhile i’ve picked up a box of taper candles because my sister mentioned wanting some and the owner says “can i start a pile for you at the register :)” and i go “actually i think i’m done haha” and then i let her sign me up for her mailing list because i feel guilty about the wine. for some reason i give her my full first name. she compliments my email for some reason. and at the end she says “it was so nice to meet you, please come back again :)” and i’m like “haha i will! thank you!” and then i go outside and i take my mask off and i drink the wine. and it’s great

#chatpost #very nice stuff in there just so expensive #that’s the kind of person that is like really truly suited for customer service. SO attentive and kind #it stresses me out lmfao. i’m sorry i’m too poor to not buy more stuff!! thank you for the wine!!! #i did actually think about buying some napkins for my sister bc they were actually $40 for two which isn’t TOO scary #but then i was like ‘i should get at least four napkins’ and the prospect of spending $80 when i already have other stuff for her seemed #crazy. but maybe next time

[inkybinkyboink]

today i rented a guitar.

#i think im worried about going into a bad headspace again this summer because summer is kind of a tricky time for that #i dont like not being at school #i think i always need to be doing something #so i rented a guitar from the music store and im going to attempt to learn over the summer #i was noodling around for like an hour and it sounds so relaxing #ive been “playing” ukulele for a few years now and its a lot trickier than ukulele because there's more strings but knowing how its mapped #out from already knowing how a ukulele works is super helpful #its nice having something to work on for the next little while #but im more excited about the prospect of just having been able to do that #like i walked into the store and went “i wanna rent a guitar” and the dude was like “how old r u” and i went “twenty" #and then i filled out the paperwork and now i just have a guitar #and it only cost like 20 bucks #thats so cool to me #idk i guess they're just little things that remind me that being an adult is scary but it can also be kind of fun? you kind of realize that #when everyone else tells you that you have free will now it doesnt just mean being able to drive whereever you want whenever you want #it means being able to rent things and stuff too #and having the authority to say “i would like to do this” and being totally allowed to do it (within ethical boundaries ofc ofc 😌😌😌) #its like...deeper than the kind of rebelliousness of driving past midnight or getting tattoo or driving to a bar #its a weird sense of control thats oddly reassuring #delete later probably #tig rants

[ssaalexblake]

I actually don’t think Yaz would have a ‘wtf i’m gay???’ crisis. I think by virtue of discovering this by being into 13 who is So Weird she’d instead have a ‘why do i find That Hot????’ crisis because that’s way more worrying to her, and completely bypass the gay thing as inconsequential under the circumstances. 

broke: Yaz is freaked out when she realises she’s kind of gay

woke: Yaz is distressed her taste in women is so awful 

#dw shit #yaz: why do i find the woman who eats dirt hot #why do i want to make out with her???? #what if she tastes like soil???? #yaz has good priorities okay #she'd see the true tragedy here is her taste in romantic prospects #and in a wider sense. Not everybody is shocked or worried when they realise they're kinda gay. I wasn't?? #and while my experiences are not universal. Sometimes ppl act like it Has to be in some way scary or traumatic and it #just does not.

[vigilantejustice]

don’t know what part of my brain is missing that makes it a struggle to grasp anything that isn’t concrete or tangible or easily quantifiable but whenever i’m not like. fantasising about clawfoot tubbing myself i’m like “don’t think i’m depressed think this is just me having a normal one” and the normal one is me having this thought after having spent sixteen hours in bed mostly every day for like three years

#keep thinking about the way getting this traineeship would mean having to get up + leave the house five days a week #+ how that is a genuinely mildly scary prospect #having a lot of little bit panicky thoughts about the future lately #like how one day my mum will die + besides my brother that’s my family gone #and my brother and i are not a good terms presently #then have been thinking about being nearly thirty + having never been in any kind of romantic situation #which is objectively incredibly odd #and then also being thirty and just being a trainee #or unemployed if i don’t cut it for the traineeship #it just kind of feels like there is too much wrong with me + that i’m only really existing until i end up kms #am not soup is idol or anything so no sweat it just feels like that’s where my life is leading #like i’ve never considered actually properly living #if that makes sense? #anyways #things are weird but ok so that’s a win #personal

[motherhenna]

god this is so miserable my psych wanted to start me out at 10 mg lower than the accidentally effective 50 mg of adderall. So I've been feeling the old brain fog depression and executive dysfunction slowly creeping back for the last few weeks and it's really making me realize how fucking debilitated and non-functional I used to be. Thankfully my next prescription is coming up soon and he agreed to bring it back to 50 but god I think I'm gonna have to be medicated like this for the rest of my life bc I can't go back

#it feels like consciously developing dementia #just feeling my higher functioning being slowly stripped away again #this has been a rough week #I haven't relapsed or binged or anything but it's so hard for me to keep anything clean anymore #or cook #ig adderall is basically gonna be my insulin / antipsychotic huh #the shit I genuinely can't function w/out but not in an addiction kind of way #but in a 'wow a large part of my brain is genuinely atrophied' way #just barely scraping by until the dose adjustment :/ #this is the first time I've truly experienced how scary the prospect of going w out a lifesaving medication must be #like I might as well just not be on adderall at all for all the good this dose is doing #personal

[cuntstable]

thinking about how multi generational households are so hard to keep up because everything here from societal expectations to maybe more importantly things live living/wellfare support actively discourage them and try to tear them apart. hm.

#like i love living w my mom as an adult and w my brother like our arrangment works for all of us. and ik im in a way incredibly lucky to #have a home where i feel comfortable and that i dont want to leave. like i understand why my older brother left and whatever. but also its #just more benefitial for us all to live together like this as poor people than alone or w random roommates. but like #thinking about the prospect of moving for my education soon makes me so sad because the governmental moving support for families isnt #applicable to us. and we are too poor to move as a whole family w/o assitance. and how previously our benefits have been under threath of #being cut because its seen as ’un-usual’ for 3 adult family members to live together so the societal expectation literally makes it harder #for us to exist. and i imagine its only doubly hard for for example immigrant families who want to keep their multi generational households #too. like none of this is planned for us or even made with ROOM for us it sucks #and the prospect of moving alone and leaving everyone is especially scary since we are all disabled and rely on helping each other. ugh

[rosecrowned]

margaery when she heard renly and loras were scheming to get her to court so robert would become infatuated with her and replace cersei with her

#♡ about. ⊱ ❝ 𝘌𝘯𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘳𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘢 𝘴𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘥𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘰𝘳 𝘢 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘬𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘴. ❞ #I think this is like . . . the one scheme of theirs that she wasn't really a willing participant in lmao #like I'm sorry boys but that was SUCH a fucking stupid play to try to make. and not one I see marg attempting on her own volition. #it would have done a lot to give renly and loras more sway but would have done jack shit for marg personally and she would recognize that #the sad thing is I don't think she would have refused to do it altogether but it definitely wasn't the same prospect to her #as trying to marry joffrey or tommen #like yes marg wanted power she wanted to be THE queen but it's just Different under those circumstances #unsettling implications aside #with joffrey or tommen she felt she could have power over them at the very least #which is what put her into competition with cersei bc cersei wanted to keep that control over her sons #robert was much older and already married and she wouldn't have any power over him. cersei didn't and she's cersei fucking lannister. #and plus being seen as a 'mistress' first would have been bad for her reputation and we know how important her reputation is to her #and on top of all of that what is the fucking point??? if robert was almost guaranteed to die when she's still young???? #then she'd just have to marry joffrey anyway if she had any hope to remain queen #but that would be almost impossible given the circumstances of her being previously married to his 'father' #also the irony of them planning this because they think she looks like lyanna and that will be enough to entice robert isn't lost on me #if they succeeded they would have just been damning her to the same fate lyanna had tried to run from #anyway the whole situation is just Nasty and I am shaking renly and loras by their well-conditioned hair #it's scary its gross it's ironic and sad

[mtsodie]

god. i forget a lot of my mutuals are 18+

#for some reason its just. whiplash #like. oh yeah you have a job. thats scary #< geniunely terrified about the prospect of growing up. what if i dont get a job that pays enough etc etc

[musicrunsthroughmysoul]

WHY IS SENDING EMAILS TO ONE'S EMPLOYERS SO FREAKING SCARY

#not to mention how anxious I've been lately! #I'm dying and I cannot bear to read the responses once I get them. I'm not even waiting for them I'm just too scared #I didn't even do anything wrong (I don't think) but it's SO SCARY. especially at the prospect of getting other people in trouble #like bro if you would just do your job and contact me about MY JOB I wouldn't have to deal with this fear & anxiety 😭

[infizero]

i have a job interview in an hour

#hopefully going to end my legacy as oldest teenager to get their first job #im nervous lol but i also know the one i did last summer went way better and was easier than i expected #so im not stressing too hard #im really just stressed about the actual prospect of *having* a job the process of getting one is not as scary as it was last year #anyways wish me luck everybody #serena.txt