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#but it's only gonna get weirder the longer i put off answering them LOL
inb4belphienaps · 3 years
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okay besties i’m gonna answer all the bday asks i’ve kept sitting in my inbox cos i’m rly great at organization and timing :D
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marvels-writings · 4 years
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Livewire (2)
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Part 1
Request: Hey:) I absolutely love this blog. Your imagines are entertaining to read. Can I request a Carol x R? Endgame/post endgame (hate/love) scenario: Everyone is trying to deal w/ their grief, Carol always seems to target R when lashing out/or acting cocky/arrogant. R remains infuriatingly calm & ignores her or responds in genuinely friendly manner but says things that fluster/get under Carol's skin. After they win, Carol eventually realizes that while R drives her crazy, she is crazy about her ;)
Extra: Hey! regarding the Carol x R request in which Carol lashes out at the R a lot during Endgame events, just want to add: R-when being yelled/screamed at responds in a polite/friendly manner, their response either leaves others speechless/makes them want to scream in rage/frustration, not because their response was insulting, but because it was said in that calm friendly manner= basically this person does not feel provoked/threatened in the slightest by the other person's anger or rage lol.
A/N: this part was mainly inspired from a prompt that I read on pinterest maybe a year ago and it popped into my head yesterday so it inspired this entire part. I promise I’ll get back to the request soon. 
“Someone’s pissed off.” you commented from your spot on the couch as Carol came in, completely drenched in sweat as she swatted hair out of her eyes. 
“My hair got in my face and it’s just so much of a hassle.” She groaned, plopping down next to you on the couch. After the incident with her blasting you a few days back, she was mostly quieter and actively trying to be better. You noticed, and appreciated it a lot. 
“I can cut it if you want.” You offered, Carol looked as if you’d just offered her a planet. 
“You know how to cut hair?” Carol asked, crossing her legs and facing you, you pulled your book down and looked at her, nodding. 
“I did a bit of work experience at a salon before life got weirder.” You answered, Carol opened her mouth to ask you but you cut her off. “Take a shower first, you’re making the ship smell like a sweaty gym.”
Carol rolled her eyes and got up, smacking your good arm lightly for the comment, you giggled but got back to your book. 
-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
“Cut it.” Carol groaned, sitting on the couch in front of you with her hair dried after 20 minutes with the blow drier, you’ve never seen it poofier, you couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m serious, please?” 
“Since you’re asking so nicely.” You commented, and got up to get the scissors from the kitchen and a large cloth from your bedroom. 
You put the cloth around her neck and told her to sit on one of the stools near the dining table, she complied, sitting in a relaxed pose as she skimmed the book you had been reading. It was one of your favorites as a teenager, Titan by Ben Bova.
“You know this is actual bullshit right?” She asked, the book still on her lap as she read and you came back with everything you needed, including a small comb. You even switched on a bluetooth speaker you’d gotten from Earth and let your favorite music play on it. 
“Then why are you reading it.” You reached to take it away but Carol pulled it away from your grasp. 
“I don’t have anything else to do.” Carol answered, you rolled your eyes, pondering how to cut it. 
“How short do you want it cut?” You asked, Carol raised both her hands, pulling lightly at her hair until she showed you she wanted it cut so it was only about 3-4 inches long. “That short?”
“It’s too much of a hassle.” Carol complained, reading your book. 
“Alright stop whining, you’re gonna be reading for some time.” You replied, starting with trimming her hair first. 
For about 20 minutes or so, Carol was able to ignore the feeling of your hands in her hair and your soft humming as you cut her hair. When you started to get closer to her scalp, it got harder to ignore. You’d finished trimming the top so it didn’t get in your way of cutting the sides. 
“Um, do you have a razor or a trimmer of some sort?” You asked, leaning away and hoping she did. 
“Should I?” Carol asked, absorbed in your book, finally able to focus on the words without your hands in her hair. 
“It would make my life a lot easier.” You muttered, sighing and trimming the last few ends of the top of her head before gently brushing it away from the back. 
Carol’s breath hitched when she felt your fingers gently comb your hair, she bit her lip and tried to keep focusing on the book. You took your hands away and squatted on Carol’s side, causing her to let go of her lip instantly, making sure you didn’t notice. 
“Don’t move.” You said softly, focused on cutting her hair. 
You put the comb right beside her head, capturing all of the hair longer than about a centimeter, then going to cut it off, trying not to touch Carol directly. For the most part it was working, but sometimes, your hand accidentally grazed her head or touched it directly while holding the comb, causing Carol to fluster a bit. 
Soon enough, that side was done, you moved so you could cut the other side, doing the same procedure but a little neater, and touching Carol a bit less. You noticed Carol flipping the pages much slower than before and smiled a little before moving to the back of her head. 
“This is gonna be a bit more tricky.” You muttered, dragging over another chair so you could sit. 
You sighed and leaned forwards so you could see better, practically breathing on Carol’s neck. Carol clenched and unclenched her jaw when she felt your breath tickling her neck, she suppressed a shudder and flipped the page. 
You did the same procedure as you did on the sides but on the back of her head, your breath on her neck as you barely touched her head. She could practically feel your voice as you hummed to the song that was playing. Carol’s jaw was clenched almost the entire time, your breath on her neck flustering her more than ever. You were just a friend to her, a really attractive friend who she practically lived with.
Finally, the back of her head was done, you pulled away, admiring your work before noticing half of the strands were still uneven. 
“Almost done.” You commented, deciding to keep sitting while cutting the rest of her head. 
This time, you gave up on using the comb and used your hands instead, deciding it was simpler. You gently put your hand on the back of her head, using it to even out the hair. Carol’s breath hitched and jaw clenched again when she felt your hands in her hair. 
The next 10 minutes were pure torture for Carol, you noticed she hadn’t flipped a single page ever since you’d started using your hands instead of thecomb. 
You shrugged, continuing to cut her hair, you couldn’t help but start singing when one of your favorites came on. Carol felt your voice and warm breath on her neck whenever you sang, her skin hypersensitive whenever you touched her, she stopped counting the amount of times she had taken a deep breath to try to calm herself. 
Finally finished, and completely oblivious, you kneeled in front of Carol, trying to make sure the sides were even. You reached out with both hands and gently pulled on the hair on the sides, making sure it was even. 
“Wha, what are you doing?” Carol asked softly, completely flustered as her jaw clenched again. 
“Making sure it’s even,” You replied, repeating the motion on the sides of her head before going to the top. “Go back to my ‘bullshit’ book you’ve been reading for the past hour.” 
Carol glanced at the clock, you were right, it had been an hour since you were making her impossibly flustered. You repeatedly ran your hands through her hair trying to make sure it was even. 
You found one strand that wasn’t even And held it out on top of Carol’s head, almost like a unicorn horn. You smirked when you saw Carol get flustered but still hurried up with cutting her hair. 
Finally satisfied with the work you did, you smiled, Carol looked amazing with the haircut, stunning actually. Still squatting in front of her, you started running your hands through it, trying to style it. 
“Now what are you doing?” Carol muttered, trying to focus on the book, your warm hands running through her hair making it harder than ever. 
“There.” You said, leaning back with a happy smile as you looked at her, the haircut looked great. You lifted up the mirror you had gotten and flipped it around to show her. 
“Wow, this is really good,” Carol commented, running her own hands through it, it felt so light. She put the book on the side table and cocked her head to the side, measuring it. “Don’t you think it’s too short?”
“It looks perfect.” you answered, getting to your feet and untying the cloth as Carol got to her feet. Carol finally got enough courage and got over her blush and pecked you on the cheek before going to change. 
“Thank you.” She said before heading off to change, hips swaying more than usual. 
“Of, of course.” you stuttered, wondering if the gesture was friendly gesture or something else. 
‘I've been pretending all my shots are blown
Cover my heart up never let it show’ 
Music played gently in the background as you cleaned up, overthinking everything that Carol just did, wondering if it meant something more.
Tag list:  @capcarolsdanver​, @versdan​, @lesbian-girls-wayhaught​, @lovebotlarson​, @dhengkt​, @5aftermidnight​, @hstoria​, @natasha-danvers​, @veryfunnyal​, @xxxtwilightaxelxxx​ let me know if you’d like to be in any of my tag lists!
Part 3
Part 4
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Time to catch up!
I'm so sorry I kinda vanished! Well, I didn't kind of vanish. I straight poofed. So I'm going to catch you guys up on what's happened since the start of August. Quite a lot has gone on, and I needed to kinda - I don't really know? Mentally I was just gone. Like August happened? I don't remember it. But anyhow here we go!
My Skin Spot:
Not cancer! My doctor so politely told me "Sometimes spots just pop up as we... get older." So. Guess I'm just gonna have some serious blemishes the older I get. Haha! I mean, not going to lie, I'm salty about it. But I'd rather be 'getting old' than have cancer. So that's all good!
Meeting with Dr. Lak:
Doctor Lak is my future surgeon for my gastric bypass. She's really really nice. Super friendly and super supportive. She got me all setup - so I have a slue of appointments made. Due to my insurance, I have to see a dietitian for six months consecutively before I can have the surgery. I also have to pass a nicotine test. So - I have to quit smoking ASAP. Which, I need to anyhow. (more on my smoking at the end lol) but overall she was absolutely fantastic!
College(Part One):
Before classes started I talked to my amazing Academic Advisor, Kathrine - and I told her some of my interests and my plans for after college. And we both kinda poked around at my minoring in Photography. To me, that wasn't really enough, so I am now a double major!
OBGYN:
I haven't said anything here, but I have plans in becoming a mother as soon as my health permits. Now I am not in a relationship, nor do I plan to be. I want to be a single mother. Some people think I'm absolutely bat-shit crazy for that. But I think, for me that is the best thing. I have an extremely supportive family, and I have zero doubt in my mind that my child will be loved as much and so much more than they'd ever possibly need! The issue here was A. my weight. B. my family has a history of fertility issues. C. I have PCOS. D. I don't have a partner haha, Kinda need two to tango ;) That all being said, I had mentioned this to my OBGYN, who retired randomly on me in March(with no notice - canceled pre-existing appointments, and with no doctors accepting new patients). I had been telling him about bad pains I'd been having for a while, and he never really listened to me or made any move to investigate. I did my own research, as well as spoke to people about it - and thought I may have Endometriosis. I brought my thoughts to him. He shrugged and said "That's probably it." and made Z E R O effort to figure it out. After three months of pain being horrible to the point sometimes when I was driving, I'd have a flare-up and I'd have to pull over because the pain was so bad I couldn't breathe or see. Then he retired. Then there were no doctors accepting anyone new. So. FINALLY - August 10th I get into a new OBGYN, Dr. Curtis. The first impression was "dudes young and super hip this is gonna be weird..." I'm weird when it comes to doctors, but doctors messing around down there I'm even weirder LOL. I feel like if my OB was a woman there's some weird competition 'Mines prettier...' I have no idea don't judge me xD I told him my wants and things and he told me sadly some older doctors just don't care. they're very black and white. And he was spot on. He told me I probably don't have endometriosis. Put me back on birth control, told me to have the gastric surgery, and then he'd get me in for an exam, and he'd get me to a fertility clinic. He supported me 100% in wanting to become a single mother. He did say that I was the youngest he'd ever seen himself, but he had no issues moving forward with me doing that. Told me a year after surgery, he'd get me to a clinic and we'd get me a baby xD
Dietitian:
My dietitian's name is Andrea, and guys, I love her. She is so goofy as scatterbrained it makes me giggle! I learned a lot during that call though! (all my appointments with gastric have been on the computer/phone) So, this hospital does post-surgery stuff differently than any others in the area, and they've found it's got the best results. So after surgery, I'd usually be on a liquid diet for 6 weeks. Which is standard. Nope! Not here! After surgery, I'll be on a pure protein diet. Not shakes- PUREAED MEAT. How gross right? Meat slushie anyone? Gag lol She goes "Everyone seems to love the pureed eggs" and I literally gagged in the call xD This is gonna be the death of me. Another thing that had me completely shook was that with a stomach the size of an EGG after surgery, I still have to drink 64oz of water a day. She said I can only drink 2oz at a time. So I basically have to take a shot of water every 10 minutes ALL DAY LONG. But! I can't drink anything at all for 30 minutes BEFORE I eat, I can't drink WHILE EATING(which I have to eat 3/4 a cup over 45 minutes-_-), and I can't drink shit for 30 minutes AFTER I eat. So. This shit's gonna be wild man. I'm excited but anxious as hell. And for the rest of my life, I'll be taking vitamin supplements.
Weight:
Currently, my weight is 417lbs
College(Part Two):
So. Friday(Aug. 28th) before the term starts, I have a massive breakdown. That Monday the first week the course was available to look at. We could submit anything, but we could go in and do the work and submit it later. Well. I got in there in my Introduction to Liberal Arts(IDS-100), and boooyyy did I overreact. :) I freaked out. I got overwhelmed because my IDS-100 professor is a very longwinded man. The email I had gotten made everything seem way way more complicated than necessary. And I basically went into spiral mode. 
'is a college education reallllyyyy that important?'
'What's the point?'
'I'm gonna fail anyhow, so why try?'
'My family will think I'm a failure...'
'I shouldn't even try, so I don't fail.'
A whole slue of shit thoughts went through my head, and I took it, man. That little demon in my brain just bitching "Never good enough. Not smart enough! Failure." And I sat there and took it like a little bitch. I got so bad I called my advisor, Good ole Kathrine, and LUCKY FOR ME; she was busy and didn't answer. I had the ability to talk to another advisor, but I didn't wanna sob into a stranger's ear so LOL. I called my dad when I was balls deep into a panic attack, and he came down and talked me out of it, and then told me he'd sit with me when I do classwork so he can help if I need it. Which, It's not really that I need help, I was worried about my comprehension of the information I read in class. Because I'm a very visual learner and one of those that talks shit out. And being online, I'm alone in my room so uh lol But yeah. He talked me down, got me all calmed down. Then the next day, my advisor called and asked why I'd called and she apologized for not being available and I laughed and told her straight "It's better you were busy, Cause I'd have dropped out." and she was shocked. Told her all of what happened and what was going on in my head and she told me she was gonna set up weekly appointments with me after each module opens. a new module opens every Monday. and she said she was gonna call me every Tuesday. I went on a spiel about how I feel ridiculous cause I'm being a burden. And she squashed that thought hella fast. So long story short. I am so blessed to have a support system between my dad and my wonderful advisor Kathrine. Lol
Boooo:
I gained a new allergy and lost an old one. I have no idea how that worked. But. No longer allergic to Soy. But now have a TERRIBLE reaction to all dairy products... Which fuckin blows because I live in Wisconsin, and I L O V E cheese. -_- Cheese hates me. :(BYE GUYS!
Whoops!
Forgot about the smoking bit, this is an Edit lmao Basically - TOTALLY thought I could drop smoking cold turkey cause that's how I'd done it every time I'd quit smoking before. Welp. Not this time :) I was a raging bitch, and a HORRIBLE migraine that was so bad I couldn't do ANYTHING. And to top it all off, I had a panic attack lol So. It's the time of year I usually start to quit anyhow. I'm so weird. I'm a seasonal smoker. Living in Wisconsin I am NOT keen on smoking in below zero temperatures in winter. I'd like to keep my fingers. This year I started smoking earlier than usual because I was out of state where freezing winter temperatures were a minimum of like, 37*F and I'm like *cackles in Wisconsinite* CHILDS PLAY!!! So, I started smoking again in December lol Anyway, now- my dad's in control of my smokes. He gives me my daily allowance in a ziplock bag which made me laugh so fucking hard because just like I actually said to him "I feel like you're my dealer and I'm sneaking something naughty!" lol Right now I'm aloud 10 a day. Which is probably 3-5 less than I usually smoke a day. So. I'm kinda feeling it. But my dads controlling them. So this should be fun. :) That's all! Bye guys!
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jeonsduck · 4 years
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Everything Is Not What It Seems
A/N: First up for the Holidaze project is Haechan for Halloween! Yeah I know Halloween already passed but we’re doing it anyway!
Warnings: mentions of blood, demons, and witchcraft
“Haechan, sure you don’t want to come to the Halloween party with us? We could do matching outfits.” you tried again. 
Haechan had been your  boyfriend for a long time, and your best friend for even longer. You grew up on the same block, rode the same bus to school, and had even ended up at the same college together. And after all those years of friendship, you hadn’t spent a single holiday with Haechan. Sometimes on Easter or something he would come over and spend some time with your family, but things like Halloween and Christmas he always spent with his family, and only his family. Family was a bit of a loose term, because he was technically being raised by his two older cousins, Taeyong and Ten. Yeah it was weird, but what was weirder was the fact that you’d known Ten and Taeyong for nearly twenty years, and they never seemed to age a single day. Maybe they just had really good skincare routines or something.
This year you had kind of been hoping that after moving away to college (even though you were only in the next town over) that maybe Haechan would leave those traditions behind and you’d start spending the holidays together, but that didn’t seem to be the case. 
“Ten and Taeyong are expecting me to come home, you know how they are. Besides, isn’t it a bit late to get a costume?” he explained.
“Well then why don’t I come home with you?” you offered and Haechan shook his head vehemently.
“No, they’ll freak out if I bring someone over, especially you.” he said. 
“Hey, I have family back home too. Just drop me off at my place, I’ll visit my family, hand candy out to trick or treaters, see my pets. I could use a break from campus.” 
Haechan smiled at that and knocked his head against yours affectionately.
“Yeah that sounds great. We can go get breakfast Sunday morning before we head back.” 
“It’s a date.” You declared and Haechan chuckled before planting a quick kiss on your lips.
“I got class, but I’ll pick you up tomorrow morning around 10.” he says before walking off to hs lecture. 
You sigh, you had really been hoping to spend Halloween with your boyfriend this year. Oh well. You take out your phone to text Mark and tell him and the others that neither you nor Haechan will be attending his frat’s Halloween party. 
From: Marketh
He’s still going back home? What do Ten and Taeyong have that we don’t?
From: You
His allowance. I wonder what they do over there, because they don’t give out candy for trick or treaters.
From: Marketh
Maybe they’re super religious? 
From: You
You’re the one that went to 12 years of vacation Bible school, not Haechan. Besides, have you met Ten and Tae? They’re superstitious, sure but not religious. 
From: Marketh
You got me there.
From: Marketh
Lol, why don’t you sneak over tomorrow night and see what they’re doing?
From: You
Isn’t that like, stalking?
From: Marketh
….maybe, but it's for educational purposes so it’s ok.
You roll your eyes and put your phone away without replying. Maybe a little peek wouldn’t be too bad? Just to see what’s going on. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It’s  8:00 PM, you’re dressed like a cat burglar, and Haechan’s house is two lots away. It’s time to set your plan into action. Do you feel silly? Yes. Are you expecting to be caught? Also yes. But not before making an absolute fool of yourself trying to squeeze through the barely open window to Haechan’s bedroom. At least he still leaves it unlocked, even though you’re well past the days of sneaking into each other’s houses in the dead of night. Or in the process of passing, considering your current position. This would have been way easier without the salt piled up outside the window sill. You’d found it very weird, but brushed it off (quite literally) and continued with your object. Find out what Haechan and his cousins do on Halloween. 
The first thing you notice is that all the lights in the house are off. Maybe a horror movie marathon? But Taeyong is a certified wuss so that’s unlikely. You continue to creep through the house slowly, trying to avoid all the squeaky spots in the house. 
You finally see the others when you get to the living room. All of the furniture is moved out of the way, and the rug rolled out of the way. Tons of white candles cover nearly every surface, giving you enough flickering light to see what’s happening despite all the lights being off. There’s a large pentagram drawn on the living room floor is what smells overwhelmingly like blood. At each point of the star there’s another large white candle, illuminating the objects around the pentagram. Some herbs, some crystals and stones. A very sharp and ancient looking knife. 
Ten, Taeyong, and Haecha are all there, hands clasped around the pentagram and chanting in a mysterious language you don’t recognize. 
Their eyes are rolled back in their heads so you can only see the whites of them. Then the wind picks up in the room, like a small tornado is suddenly raging through the living room only. And Haechan is kind of just, levitating, as are a few random objects around him. One of which is a necklace with a glowing purple stone in the pendant. The whole room looks like a scene from a very weird and you’ve just about reached your limit with weird things happening when you feel… something behind you. You’re not sure what exactly, like a dark presence or just something wrong breathing down your neck. 
You jump, spinning around to see a black shadow towering over you. It’s not quite human, but it’s not inhuman either, seemingly shifting between multiple forms before your eyes.  
“Thanks for leaving the door open.” it says, flashing sharp teeth dripping what could either be tar or blood on the floor. 
“How did it get through the barrier?” 
“Y/N?” 
When Ten and Haechan speak its overlapping and distorted, like you’re listening to twelve of them speak underwater. The shadow moves, like a glitch in reality at the same time Haechan pulls out another terrifying looking dagger. His eyes are still white and now glowing, as are his cousins’. It seems your brain can’t take anymore surprises and confusion, because you black out. 
The next thing you know, you’re waking up on Haechan’s couch with your head in his lap. When you blink your eyes open he sighs in relief, and flicks you on the forehead. 
“You idiot, why did you have to sneak in tonight of all nights?” he scolds.
You huff and sit up, though you regret it immediately when your head spins. 
“Here, drink up.” Taeyong says, shuffling in from the kitchen.
He offers you a steaming mug of a liquid you can’t identify, and you squint at him suspiciously.
“Nightshade tea.” Haechan deadpans, flicking you on the forehead again.
“It’s apple cider.” Taeyong corrects. 
“I’m not gonna start levitating too right?” you ask, but you accept the mug anyway.
“No, you’re not. Now drink the apple juice.” Haechan says, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. 
You take a small sip of the apple cider, and sure enough, it’s just spicy apple juice with a bit of an alcoholic kick. Good, you need a drink after what you just witnessed.
“So, what you guys are witches or something?” you ask, not expecting Ten’s answer.
“Survey says… yes! Good one, got it right on the first try.” he calls, coming back into the living room with some herbs on fire in his hand.
“I drove everything out, smudged the house, and re-established the barrier. We should be good now. Next time, don’t break the circle, kid.” Ten says, collapsing into his arm chair. 
“What circle?” you asked, confused.
“The two pounds of salt on Haechan’s window sill. We need extra protection on Samhain, that’s when the real baddies come out to play. Like the little visitor we had.” Ten explained, accepting a mug from Taeyong as well.
“So wait, you are witches? And what’s the Samhain? Also, was that blood on your floor earlier?” you asked. 
Your head was already hurting again.
“I’m going to sleep. Haechan, you’re dating them, you can explain everything. Goodnight.” Ten sighed, walking away to his bedroom.
“I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me.” Taeyong said, also shuffling out of the room.
You turned to Haechan, motioning for him to explain. He sighed, leaning his head back against the couch. After gathering his thoughts for a moment he sat back up taking your hands in his. 
“Yes, we are witches. We always have been. Samhain is basically Halloween, the divider between the living realm and the afterlife is really weak on today, so we have to put extra protections on the house to make sure spirits and demons don’t get in. And yes, that was blood on the blood, but in our defense, it’s pig’s blood and we got it from the local butcher.” 
You sat there for a moment, soaking in the information. You’d known Haechan for years, hell he was your boyfriend. You’d never even suspected there was something like this going on. Yeah, Taeyong had a rather impressive spice cabinet and Ten’s room was kind of covered in weird drawings but it was Ten and Taeyong, so it’d be weirder if they didn’t.
“Do you guys do, bad things? To people? Like do you curse people.” you ventured. 
Haechan sighed and shrugged.
“Sometimes. You know how petty Ten can get. Hell, he cursed Johnny last week for calling him short. Taeyong doesn’t like to, but he does occasionally. It’s not as bad as you think. Most curses are just annoyances. It’s not like we sick demon on people or something.” he continued and you nodded along.
“So what about you? Who have you cursed?” You pushed and Haechan laughed.
“Mostly Mark. Anytime he lost something semi-important it was probably my fault. And that guy Trevor from middle school who used to bully you.” he confessed.
You giggled at the mention of the last name, recalling the boy.
“Didn’t he end up pissing himself during standardized testing? Was that you?” you asked, and Haechan nodded, snickering behind his hand.
“Oh, my god that was you!” you realized and Haechan nodded.
“I felt kind of bad about it, but he deserved it.” 
“What about me? Have you ever used magic on me?” you asked and Haechan smiled.
“Oh plenty. Luck charms, protection wards, sigils of safety.” he said waving his hand in dismissal, “remember that time you fell out of a tree and miraculously didn’t break anything? That was all me.” he boasted.
“And here I was thinking I just had outrageously strong bones.” you giggled.
Haechan laughed at that as well. Good. You weren’t too shaken or scared to laugh. This was going way better than he’d hoped.
“What about love spells? Have you ever used a love spell on anyone?” you asked. 
Your voice sounded light, but Haechan could hear the underlying question. Had he ever used a love spell on you? Was your relationship fabricated?
“Y/N, magic can do a lot of things. But there’s a lot of things it can’t do. And make up love like ours is one thing it can’t do. Love spells are…. Pretty terrifying to say the least. The side effects they can have are dangerous and can be permanent. We don’t need something like that. What we have is real.” he explained. 
You nodded, sighing out a breath of relief you didn’t even know you were holding. 
“Oh, before I forget. I want you to wear this, and please, don’t ever take it off. I can put the pendant into a bracelet or something if you prefer, but you have to always wear it. I was going to tell you about the witch thing and give you this tomorrow over breakfast, but you never were very patient.”
Haechan fishes something out of his pocket, holding it up in the light. It’s the necklace from earlier. It’s a simple piece of jewelry, amethyst pendant on a silver chain. It’s the necklace that was glowing earlier. You stare at it in the light, holding your hand out for Haechan to hand it to you.
“What is it?”
“A protection amulet. Witches tend to attract magic, whether it’s good or bad. This will keep you safe from anything with malicious intent, whether it be a demon or another witch.” he says.
“There are other witches?” you ask, shocked. 
Of course there would be others, but you had been so busy digesting the info Haechan was giving you that you hadn’t even thought about it.
“I think that’s enough witch talk for tonight. We can continue tomorrow over some blueberry waffles from our favorite diner, don’t you think?” Haechan says, standing up and stretching.
 He holds a hand out to you which you accept, and he leads you back to his room. You still have some of your old clothes in his dresser, which he gives you to sleep in. He doesn’t bother flicking the lights off manually, just waving his hand and the room goes dark.
“Woah.” 
Haechan chuckles at your admiration of his powers.
“Hey, can you read my palm?”
“No.”
“My face?”
“No.”
“What about my chakras?”
“What about we go to sleep?” 
You huff, rollIng over so your back is to Haechan. He rolls his eyes at your little tantrum, draping an arm over your waist.
“I’ll do a tarot reading for you in the morning, now go to sleep.” 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
From: Marketh
So??? Read 7:39 AM
From: Marketh
What’d you find out? Read 8:12 AM
From: Marketh 
Hello? Read 9:07 AM
From: Marketh
Y/N? Read 9:48 AM
From: Marketh
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scifiphan · 6 years
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Unspoken Rules
Summary: Since the beginning, Dan and Phil have been best friends with benefits and to them, their unique dynamic makes perfect sense. Over time unspoken rules and unanswered questions have built up until one day Dan realises that he can’t continue with the way things are. Love is weird but what Dan and Phil have is a whole lot weirder. Word Count: 5.5k Warnings: angst (with a sappy ending), alcohol mentions, v slight smut A/N: hey it’s me, ur local gif maker hitting you with some more fic. this may be one of the most self-indulgent things that i have ever written and i’m not even sorry. this was really fun to write because i’ve never done any angst (so this was a challenge lol) and i never intended for it to be so long,,, it just kinda happened. i hope y’all enjoy my take on the fwb trope 
[read on ao3]
Unspoken rules grew like weeds in the cracks of their lives. They’re just two broken people stuck together by a force greater than the sum of their parts; adult lives had been shaped around teenage whim and now neither could escape from the poisonous weeds.
Dan had joked one night, as they curled up on the lounge (their bodies much too big to fit comfortably but neither minded), that the first rule of fight club is that they don’t talk about fight club. Phil had just rolled his eyes and pressed a haphazard kiss on the exposed skin of Dan’s shoulder, mumbling that they were weird. He was right; they were definitely weird. That one little exchange of words all those years ago had been a rare verbal acknowledgement of the mess they made. They fell too deep too quickly. Both were young and reckless and now eight years later, the first rule of fight club was still being adhered to.
They were best friends (in the most liberal sense of the term) even if sex had been thrown into the mix from the beginning. They didn’t really know what the definition of their relationship was but one thing was certain: they weren’t boyfriends. Even if the Lester clan had started sending joint Christmas cards a couple of years ago, they dodged the word as if it was a lethal bullet.
Although they spent most nights wrapped in each other’s arms, trailing soft kisses along familiar skin, they were nothing more than friends who loved each other but weren’t in love (a fact Dan stressed to himself quite often) and their quirky dynamic had worked perfectly for almost a decade.
It had started out as Dan’s idea.
He was so young; bright-eyed and bushy-tailed with the urge to explore a part of him he had spent years ignoring. It would’ve almost been a crime for Phil to say no. Dan’s warm chocolate eyes had glimmered in the dim lighting of his childhood bedroom and his smile had been framed with endearing dimples. He couldn’t resist leaning over and sealing their fate with a kiss. Dan’s lips were soft and fit perfectly against his and whatever second guesses Phil may have held about their complicated friendship had dissipated; they could talk about it in the morning because, in that moment, he could only think about the softness of Dan’s skin and how he could almost cry about how perfect Dan’s lips felt against his.
It was exciting in the beginning; the concept of fucking just because they could. There was something exhilarating about making out for hours in their bedrooms, becoming familiar with each other’s bodies, learning every little detail about how to make the other unravel. It was their little secret hidden almost perfectly from the rest of the world.
They had been caught only once, pressed against each other as Phil peppered kisses along Dan’s neck, grinning into his skin every time Dan let a small moan escape his lips. It had been reckless, filled to the brim with stupidity, but they had been too drunk off Long Island Iced Tea to care. Phil had pulled them into the bathroom at a Vidcon after party and his mistake had been not locking the door. They never indulged in something so risqué, it was too dangerous but Dan’s hands had wandered throughout the night. Phil couldn’t wait until the privacy of their own hotel room to feel Dan against him. Their drunken plan had almost been executed perfectly but when Phil’s hands expertly unzipped Dan’s pants with a sense of urgency, the bathroom had gained one more occupant.
“Holy fucking shit,” an American accent they were all too familiar with reverbed off the bathroom walls and they both froze; not out of fear or shame but out of sheer horror.
After five years their secret had been discovered due to reckless behaviour.
Dan’s chestnut eyes were blown wide as he stared back at Anthony, holding in a whimper when the pressure on his crotch vanished and Phil’s arms went limp beside him.
“We can explain,” Phil stammered although he didn’t pull himself fully off the younger boy.
“You don’t need to,” Anthony shot back a bit too quickly; his cheeks were a rouge and his dark eyes landed everywhere but the two of them. He hovered at the bathroom door for several agonisingly long moments before stepping back, “I kinda expected it but I’ll uh, I’ll go pee somewhere else.”
When the door swung shut and it was just the two of them once again, Dan turned his head to nudge Phil’s cheek, “what do we do now?”
Phil moved his hands up so he could link them around Dan’s waist, “nothing.”
He placed a soft kiss on Dan’s lips and whatever tension that had been built during the night had vanished with Anthony’s interruption.
Dan melted a little into the sensation of the kiss, “Anthony is gonna to think we’re together,” he mumbled.
“Let him,” Phil replied.
Confusion furrowed Dan’s brows; they had spent years determined to make sure outsiders didn’t see them as a couple. He didn’t know if it was just him getting caught up in the moment or if their dynamic had shifted with Anthony’s discovery but a lot of questions had whirred in Dan’s mind and he kept them all buried in silence. They could talk in the morning between mouthfuls of waffles and maple syrup tainted kisses.
The questions were left unsaid.
A rule that had gone unspoken since the beginning was that they were free to date other people. It was hard to break into the dating scene as their YouTube careers grew exponentially so the lulls between romantic escapades were lengthy and their dates never lasted long enough to ever be considered serious.
On rainy nights, as they curled beneath Phil’s duvet with a bottle of rosé running through their veins, Dan would joke about how they were too blinded by their love for each other to properly date anyone else. Phil would always scoff and insist that the younger boy was mad but as the years wore on and their lives as singles grew more permanent, he started to not bat away the jokes. Instead, he clung to Dan tightly, afraid of the feelings whirring inside him; afraid of the warmth that ran like honey upon his skin whenever Dan touched him.
Love is weird but what they had was so much weirder.
They were nothing more than friends who loved each other but weren’t in love (a fact Phil reminded himself with increasing frequency as time wore on as if he was trying to convince himself).
Another rule that had never come up in conversation was something they had danced around on thin ice since the beginning. Although neither cared too much about who the other pulled into their beds, they had never brought back another man. Sexuality was something they hadn’t spent long pondering but from their own messy history, they were both well aware of how far from straight they were. However, when it came to dating other people, they had only brought women back to their apartment.
It was a quirk neither could fully understand and they had only made one fleeting comment on the observation. Dan once said that it was a subconscious urge to spite each other and Phi had just giggled around a mouthful of cereal, nudging Dan’s thigh with his knee and jokingly reassured him that it’s only because he didn’t satisfy Phil’s needs. The younger boy had almost choked on chamomile tea before leaning over to push the cereal bowl from Phil’s hands and proving that he could satisfy him better than anyone.
That was the last time that particular facet of their broken life was mentioned.
For eight years they had found a balance that worked and as time grew, their quirky friendship had become second nature; they had found harmony together.
Long ago they swapped singular words for their pluralistic variation without even second guessing the vocabulary migration. It felt natural for the two of them to be a single entity. They were Dan and Phil. Two halves of a whole. Best friends who loved each other but could never be in love. It just wasn’t their thing.
They had never put too much effort into dissecting the nature of their relationship; questions and rules had been built up and pushed to the side. It was too complex. Too interwoven. The limitations between them had faded until everything about them was blurry and plural. They resisted definition so much that they lost definition entirely. For eight years they had played an endless game of cat and mouse; sidestepping the questions that required answers. They were in too deep and neither knew how to even begin defining their complicated life they had built for themselves until they could no longer avoid the inevitable.
Dan had found his head on Phil’s lap while they both absentmindedly watched an episode of Buffy that they had seen dozens of times. He mumbled the dialogue without even realising it (a sign that they spent too much of their spare time indulging in absolutely nothing). Not that he’d have it any other way; he counted every lazy night with Phil as a blessing.
Phil carded a hand through Dan’s curls, tugging lightly because after so long together he knew just how nice the younger boy found the sensation. For someone who said he loved bites and bruises, Dan was just a big softy for all the gentle and affectionate actions that had worked their way into their dynamic.  Phil had been wanting to bring up something that had been niggling inside him for weeks but whenever he had gained the courage, they would melt into domestic habits and he couldn’t bring himself to see Dan’s heart shatter behind his perfect chocolate eyes.
He couldn’t evade the inevitable any longer; he had to rip the Band-Aid off just as Buffy slayed yet another vampire.
“I want to start dating again.”
He felt Dan stiffen. His breathing stilled for what felt like aeons but were only mere moments. It had been well over a year since either had ventured outside of their unspoken agreement and although the first rule of fight club still stood, they had fallen into something so comfortable and natural and Phil was shattering their creation.
“Getting bored?” Dan’s words were hushed. He rolled back into Phil’s lap so he could look up at the face of the man he loved but was too stubborn to accept how smitten he actually was. Dan refused to believe he was in love; their dynamic didn’t allow it.
Phil sighed, shifting his hand so he could stroke Dan’s cheek, letting his fingers linger on the slightly red patch that bloomed upon his jaw, “I could never get bored of you,” he replied with a fondness that took both of them off-guard. “It’s just that I’m in my thirties now, I need to make the most of my fleeting youth before I end up adopting fifteen dogs.”
“You can never have too many dogs,” Dan smiled back but it was vacant. Whatever thoughts were whirring in the brunette’s head refused to be verbalised but Phil could see the pain seeping into Dan’s warm eyes, dampening them.
“Don’t cry,” Phil whispered. The longer their more-than-friends-but-still-friends relationship went on the worse it became whenever they chose to venture into the dating scene but he hadn’t expected tears.
“I’m not crying,” Dan shot back, he drew his bottom lip between teeth in an attempt to distract his mind that was racing a mile a minute.
The older boy smirked, “all men do is lie.”
Dan couldn’t help but let a laugh escape. Even if the fragile world he had shaped was beginning to shatter for what seemed like the hundredth time, he couldn’t be mad at Phil. He always knew that one day they would go their separate ways; create families of their own with pretty wives and pretty kids in a pretty London borough and they would walk their dogs together in the afternoons while reminiscing about their youth. What he desperately clung onto would one day just be a distant memory he would recall fondly when his skin was wrinkled and his hair turned grey.
He shifted his position so he could pull Phil down beside him, “kiss me,” Dan asked with an urgency that could be analysed when the sun climbed above the city skyline and the reality of their future could be comprehended. Their nights together were limited and as Phil kissed away the tears that rolled down the brunette’s cheek, Dan could almost forget that his life had just been shattered like glass.
Their unspoken rules had never been broken; their silent agreement had remained strong for close to a decade so when Phil dragged his date through the front door three weeks later, the broken pieces of Dan’s heart were ripped to shreds once again. It wasn’t that Phil had bad taste (he had exceptional taste) but it was more the fact that his date wore a red flannel, round glasses and had a well-trimmed ginger beard; the stereotypical hipster he probably found somewhere near Shoreditch. Dan wanted to wave at the man but when his bright smile lit up the room he realised that a part of Phil that had only ever been reserved for Dan had been pulled from his grasp. He had to hold onto the kitchen bench to stop him from crumpling to the ground like discarded paper.
“Dan! You’re awake!” Phil said between giggles; he was definitely intoxicated. It was well into the early hours of the morning yet Dan didn’t feel even a tendril of sleep pulling at him.
The other guy held Phil’s hand, gently swinging it as he giggled alongside him. Dan couldn’t help but notice how his hand was too small for Phil. They didn’t fit the way Dan’s hand melded perfectly; everything about Dan fit perfectly with Phil yet it was too late to contemplate such intricate thoughts.
“Hi,” Dan managed to spit out with a bit more vehemence than he was meant to but he couldn’t retract. The man was cute. His ginger hair fell in waves to his shoulders and brown frames accentuated pine green eyes; he was conventionally attractive and a few inches shorter than the two of them. If he wasn’t holding hands with his Phil, Dan would have found him incredibly cute but all he could feel was overwhelming jealousy.
“This is Liam,” Phil tugged at the ginger’s hand.
“Hiya, you’re Dan yeah?” Liam’s words were coated in an accent that Dan couldn’t place. Kiwi? Australian? South African? Dan’s jealousy was almost at melting point and all he could do was nod in response; well aware that anything he said wouldn’t work in his favour.
“We’re just heading to my room,” Phil announced, picking up on the tension filling up the kitchen at an alarming rate.
Dan just nodded, turning his head towards the fridge to hide a scoff. Phil’s bedroom was nothing more than a glorified filming set in their new apartment; he hadn’t spent a night in there since they moved in.
“G’night,” he mumbled, not caring if his lack of hospitality gave Liam a bad impression because that was exactly what he was trying to achieve.
He felt Phil’s gaze linger on the back of his head before giving up in favour of giving Liam a grand tour of their apartment.
When the door to Phil’s room swung shut, Dan allowed himself to slide down to the foot of the fridge. He had spent countless hours in this position; pondering life and all the bad decisions he had made. The worst decision he had ever made couldn’t help but rear its ugly head; forcing tears to fall down Dan’s cheeks in a wave of violent sobs. He didn’t care if Phil and his attractive date could hear; they were the catalyst for his fragile future, his hope of holding onto Phil for reasons he could not entirely explain had been annihilated.
The worst decision he had ever made was kissing Phil back for the first time. On a good day, he may have said it was his best decision but good days were just distant memories.
They had been in Phil’s room and heavy snow fell outside, helping form a memory that felt almost too magical to be real. Dan had quickly discovered that kissing Phil was a necessity; he needed it as much as he needed air to breathe and blood in his veins. His entire body had come alive in that moment as if all the stars had aligned and fate had cast its benevolent hand over them. Although, it had been too good to be true. Their bodies fit together perfectly, it was as if they were one soul shaped as two beings finally finding their other half. Every nerve had come alight as wildfire blazed throughout their bodies. Inexperienced hands fumbled across pale skin, exploring every inch and laying claim. Phil was his first and his best; they had been so dumb but it was when they were in each other’s arms afterwards that their insipid fate had been sealed.
“You’re my best friend, I don’t want what just happened to change that,” Dan’s voice had been soft but his words were laced with fear. He had fallen deep into something that he didn’t know how to get out of and he didn’t even know if he wanted to get out of it.
“It doesn’t have to change,” Phil had mumbled into his hair. At the time those words had come as a relief; Dan had spent too much of his life avoiding labels. He hadn’t been ready. He hadn’t realised that eight years later he would be on the kitchen floor, a broken mess, as his best friend and love of his life broke his heart just down the hallway.
Dan was in love with Phil and it had taken eight years to acknowledge the pain that had been in his chest since the beginning.
He must have drifted off to sleep in his position below the fridge because the next thing he knows, dim morning sunlight is pouring through the windows, warming his tear-stained cheeks. For a moment, he could almost forget his downfall last night but then he hears footsteps enclosing on the kitchen and his eyes flew open; it would be pathetic if he was caught in his vulnerable state.
“Oh Dan…” If Dan still had a heart left to break, it would have splintered into tiny pieces with the sincerity those two simple words fell from Phil’s lips. His best friend was standing before him in emoji pyjamas and a graphic tee with his black-rimmed glasses slightly askew. He reached out a hand to pull Dan up, “were you there all night?”
A lot of ways to react to Phil’s softness flickered through Dan’s mind. He thought about yelling and screaming, crying even though he was too dehydrated to do so, even fucking him on the kitchen counter. Every scenario under the sun played in his mind but when Phil pulled him up so they were level, Dan could only fall into his arms with a silent sob.
Phil’s arms tightened around Dan instinctively and the younger boy could sense uncertainty running through Phil’s thoughts, “what changed?” was all he managed to ask next to Dan’s ear.
Dan wanted to laugh, he wanted to let all the bitterness pent up inside him get released as sadistic laughter. He wanted to ask Phil if he was fucking serious because his eyesight may be shit but he isn’t blind; their predicament was obvious. He wanted to confess that he was undoubtedly in love and couldn’t deny it. However, he chose none of those options and instead closed the gap between their lips with a greedy kiss.
Phil pulled away almost instantly but not quick enough for Dan to miss the conflict that was bubbling up inside the older man.
“Liam’s still here,” Phil hissed.
“Fuck Liam,” Dan’s breath was hot against Phil’s skin and when Dan swooped back in for a second time, licking hotly into the kiss with fervency, Phil couldn’t help but succumb to fate’s twisted plan.
Dan pressed his body flush against Phil and the unexpected weight caused them to stumble back into the kitchen island in a tangle of limbs. Their kisses were erratic; a clash of greed and familiar desire coming alive in a flurry as Dan lifted Phil onto the island, pushing himself into Phil, delighted to find him already half hard.
“Didn’t fuck yourself senseless last night?” Dan asked while trailing small nips down Phil’s neck and applying just the right amount of pressure where his pyjama pants tented.
A soft moan escaped Phil and Dan hummed with approval, repeating his actions.
“We didn’t have sex,” Phil told him through breathy moans and Dan stopped in his tracks, lifting his lips from Phil’s neck so he could look him in the eyes.
“What?”
“We didn’t fuck,” Phil said as if swearing would get the point across, “we just talked and kissed for a bit.”
Dan kept his eyes trained on Phil’s for what felt like an eternity. In the morning sunlight, he noticed that the flecks of yellow became more prominent as if he had liquid gold glimmering in the pools of green and blue.
A part of him felt guilty for assuming and a part of him felt relieved but the jealousy still remained; someone else got the chance to feel Phil’s wondrous lips and Dan felt the urge to kiss away the lingering feeling of the other man. This time their kiss was tender, the beginnings of an unspoken apology they knew all too well. It was repetition of all the other times they had found their way back to each other after countless failed dating attempts. Dan’s hands reached up to card Phil’s raven hair and he tugged lightly, delighted when Phil moaned into each kiss.
“We can’t do this, not now,” the older boy pulled away when their kisses shifted into something more heated and a whine escaped from Dan.
“We can’t keep running away from this,” Dan mumbled, leaning forward to entrap Phil in another kiss but he tilted his head so Dan’s lips met a pale cheek.
“I’m not trying to run away,” Phil whispered, “once he leaves we’ll talk. I promise that we’ll work this mess out.”
Dan sighed, leaning his head onto Phil’s, “I’ll be waiting. I always am.”
With that, they broke apart and Dan’s arms fell to his side as if he was a puppet and his strings had just been cut. He was tempted to fall back into his spot below the fridge but as Phil left the kitchen, Dan allowed his feet to take him in the other direction. He grabbed his coat and shoved his phone into a pocket, tempted to leave it at home but decided against it. He couldn’t fully avoid reality even if it could lead to even more heartbreak. He couldn’t keep being invisible whenever his heart was trodden on.
He was used to absent walks to clear his head but now his mind was anything but absent. He kept replaying every action that led up to the present, every kiss stolen in the darkness of night, every tear shed when he saw Phil with someone else. They had spent years avoiding the situation between them and now Dan found himself in the shadows waiting for Phil, the embodiment of light, to pull him back into the sunshine.
Dan ended up in a nearby park, a black coffee cradled in his hands (a vacant decision while walking past Pret a Manger), savouring the feeling of warm steam reaching up to caress his face. Although the sun was shining, London was cold. Trees had lost almost all their leaves and the last lingering red and brown foliage clung onto bare limbs as if they were too stubborn to let go.
The park was empty aside from him and maybe that was due to it being midmorning or maybe the icy touch in the air had kept everyone inside. He found a spot beneath a gazebo and allowed himself to take a seat. He did this often; sit and think in parks. There was something about the falling leaves and a gentle breeze that calmed him. His mind slowed down just enough to force it into silence; focusing on the bitter taste of the coffee and harsh heat that hit his tongue instead of his broken life that was in dire need of fixing.
He felt his phone buzz a few times but chose to ignore it in favour to sweeping the dregs of his coffee out of the cup, grimacing at the temperature which was slightly too cool for comfort; a sign that he had been thinking for too long.
Dan felt as if a part of him had been laid to rest at the realisation that his feelings had run astray. For years he had been certain that they could remain in their tangle of weeds; allowing unspoken rules to blur what they were and strangle the feelings he buried so deep.
Love was weird and love was blind but he had been blinded by stupidity to realise that his heart was only meant for Phil.
His feelings had only once come to the surface in a Freudian slip on a drunken night during their Australian leg of the tour. They had spent the hours after their Sydney show drinking with the crew but when they stumbled into a taxi their hands found home upon each other and Phil’s lips had laid claim to Dan’s jaw.
If the driver could see what was unfolding in the backseat he never expressed discomfort.
They shared kisses coated with the weight of intoxication and hands lazily traced familiar patterns. Dan had consumed one margarita too many and as Phil dragged his mouth along his collarbone, words betrayed him.
“Love you.”
He never knew if Phil heard him in that moment or if he had been too preoccupied with Dan’s exposed skin to notice but the younger boy’s eyes had blown wide with alarm and he forced himself to backtrack.
“Lo-love being here with you. Sydney is amazing.”
Phil hummed into the crook of Dan’s neck, not seeming too fussed with what his friend was saying before shifting upwards so he could focus on the sweet spot upon Dan’s neck.
Whatever fear that had been born in the wake of Dan’s slip up was momentarily forgotten as pleasure ran through him like lightning.
Phil had never questioned what was said within the taxi that night so Dan had repressed the memory alongside his undying love until it pushed its way to the surface of his mind; reminding Dan of just how messy his life had become.
It wasn’t until the sun became hidden behind looming clouds that he was joined within the gazebo. Dan didn’t turn his head, he didn’t need to. He knew the feeling of Phil’s presence all too well.
The older man sat at the opposite end of the bench, his hands shoved into coat pockets and his eyes trained on amber coloured leaves that felt languidly from a nearby tree. His hair was swept neatly to the side and glasses were gone in favour of contacts. Dan could feel his heart skip a beat and he hated knowing that Phil had that effect on him. Even after so long he still got giddy when looking at the man. In Dan’s eyes, he was perfection, the embodiment of Adonis but even his beauty couldn’t hide the pain that radiated from his chest.
They didn’t speak straight away, it wasn’t their style if the last eight years of avoidance wasn’t enough proof of that. Time fell away from their own little slice of reality and hours could have passed or just mere moments but when Phil extended a hand out to Dan, he didn’t refuse the invitation. Phil’s slender fingers were warm (a stark contrast to the cool air) and his thumb ran comforting strokes across the back of Dan’s hand; an action that had become second nature.
“I’m so sorry,” Phil was the first to speak. His eyes remained trained on falling leaves but Dan could see that they were red. He had been crying and that fact broke Dan more than anything else that had come between them.
“You don’t have to be,” he replied tenderly, afraid that his voice might crack if he spoke too loud.
“No Dan,” Phil said, “let me apologise for once. I got us into this mess, the least I can do is say sorry.”
“I’ve been afraid,” the younger boy admitted, “what happened to us?”
“Come here,” Phil tugged lightly and Dan followed the pull, folding into Phil’s arms just as a silent sob spilt out of him. He let go of Phil’s hand in favour of wrapping his arms tightly around him and nestling his head upon his chest.
“I don’t want to let you go,” Dan mumbled, unsure as to if it was in context to the hug or their lives as a whole. Both were plausible.
“It was stupid of me to think I could spend my life with anyone but you,” Phil whispered into chocolate curls, “It just took this morning for me to realise it. Seeing you hurt like that, it broke me.”
“What about your redhead?” Dan tried to push jealousy to the side but it refused to remain hidden.
“Liam isn’t the man for me,” Phil paused to place a soft kiss in his curls, “you are.”
Dan almost melted at the softness of the kiss but the words that followed turned his limbs into jelly. He moved his head up slightly so he could look up at Phil. His blue eyes seemed grey in the now overcast weather.
“Why did we complicate our life?” he asked with furrowed brows.
“You have a dramatic flair,” Phil allowed a smile to race across his lips that remained when a small chuckle escaped the brunette.
“What are we?” Dan asked, moving a hand from Phil’s back so he could trace pale cheekbones out of intrigue. All the questions they had ignored and kept for morning afters were finally allowed to be asked yet all he could think of was the most basic questions that probably already held obvious answers.
“Dan and Phil,” the older boy replied before placing a small kiss on the tip of Dan’s nose. “To me, you are everything even if we’ve resisted definition for so long. I can’t imagine spending a day without you let alone spending a life without you by my side.”
The feelings that had surfaced back in Sydney bloomed in Dan’s stomach as a manifestation of butterflies, “seeing you last night with someone else made me realise that I only want you. I’ve only ever wanted you and I was a fool to think otherwise.”
Phil laughed and his warm breath tickled Dan, “to think I’ve spent years trying to find someone to replace the happiness I feel when you’re in my arms.”
“When did you realise this?” Dan asked with curiosity, “you make it sound as if you’ve known for ages yet I don’t think I realised until last night.”
Phil smirked as if the memory he was recalling was fond, “I fell in love the moment I met you but it just took me a little bit to realise that I loved you more than a best friend.”
“Love…”
“Is it really such a strange concept?” Phil asked.
Dan shook his head, blinking back tears as a smile forced its way onto his lips, “I love you too.”
“Don’t cry,” Phil responded with a hushed whisper.
“They’re good tears,” Dan reassured before leaning in to connect their lips. The kiss was soft as emotions that they had buried now flowed freely between them and all the unspoken rules dissipated the moment Dan sighed into the kiss. It was bliss. Kissing Phil was always perfect.
They stayed like that, wrapped in each other’s arms sharing tender kisses, not caring if other people within the park saw them. Love was weird but what Dan and Phil had was so much weirder. The nature of their relationship still remained undefined but as Dan let his hands run through raven hair, he knew that whatever was yet to come would undoubtedly be perfect.
“So, what now?” he asked when they finally pulled away from the kiss, nuzzling into Phil.
“Let’s go back home and watch some Ghibli. How about Spirited Away? And we can order takeout?” The older boy pulled away from Dan so he could stand up, extending his hand to Dan. Last time he did that action, heartbreak had pulled at them but now all the years of needless pain had been torn from them by the roots and love bloomed in its place, “does that sound like a good start of our forever?”
“Ponyo,” Dan amended, standing up beside Phil with a grin unable to leave his lips, “and yes, forever sounds nice if I get to spend it with you.”
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twdmusicboxmystery · 7 years
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Season 8 EW Photo Shoot - TD Clues
Good morning Everyone and happy Saturday! How is everyone's weekend going?
Okay, so over the past 3 days I've gotten about 7 of these Asks about the EW pictures. I already had the first one when I was answering Asks on Thursday, but I decided I wanted to wait to answer it and do a full post. Then I got a bunch more. (These are obviously not all of them, but all the rest had the same gist.)
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Actually I'm glad I waited because just yesterday the FB group had some really great insights that I wouldn’t have had before.
I will warn you, though, that this has been discussed all over the fandom. If you've read a lot of other discussions about it, I doubt I have much to say that hasn't already been said. This is what I see in the pictures, what insights the wonderful ladies in my FB group have had, and what we've been discussing.
So, quick summary for those who've been hiding under a rock and don't know what this is about. EW, as per usual, has done a photo shoot spread for TWD S8. These are some of the photos.
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So here’s the complete run-down from my end:
The instant they hit the airwaves, a certain dark ship started screaming that because MMB has her arms around Norman, the show is foreshadowing C@ryl becoming canon this season. For the Nonny who needs reassurance, let me promise you that nothing could be further from the truth.
Here’s a random joke I made about it in my FB group:
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Here are some simple facts:
1. Carol and Daryl have an iconic friendship, and people love seeing them together, even if it's just as friends. So the show has used them heavily promotionally for the past few years. And yet, they've never gone canon. This year is no different.
2. More than once AMC has hinted or outright said that Carzekiel will be pushed this season. I don't know if they'll actually go canon (most of the other long term couples have taken more than a season to actually hook up--Richonne = 3 seasons, Carnid = 2 seasons, Bethyl=oh geez! The one exception, I think, is Glaggie) but it should become very obvious that it will be the two of them in the long run. And who knows? They might go canon. I, for one, hope they do. And, based on the symbolism we're seeing here, I think there's a good chance they will.
Let me explain. One of the above Nonnies asked about symbolism. And the symbolism should go a long way to setting your mind to rest about the possibility of C@ryl.
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At first I just kind of rolled my eyes at this picture, thinking, "well, the C@rylers are gonna have fun with that one, aren't they?" But then an IG follower pointed out that Carol is holding Sophia's doll.
Now, the third Nonny above asked if it was the magazine putting these symbols in, or tptb? While of course we can't know for certain, the instant I saw the doll, I knew it wasn't an EW thing. Not entirely. There are too many symbols we've seen in the show in this shoot for them to have been arbitrarily chosen by the magazine or the photographers. And remember this magazine had it's hands in all the secrets of Jon Snow's return to GoT, so I have a hard time believing these symbols aren't purposeful.
So for Carol, remember I said HERE that her whole arc has been and is about Sophia. This surely proves it. She's holding Sophia's doll, so this Sophia arc is obviously going to come into play in a big way in S8. My logic is that, even though this has been Carol's arc all along, we've never seen her hold the doll before, so it's got to be more front and center this season. Meanwhile, we have this kid, Ben's little brother, who just so happens to be played by Madison Lintz's brother, so he LOOKS just like Sophia, and is going to be part of Carol's story this season. He may be what finally helps her to heal and brings her arc full circle. And that's why I think Carzekiel could go canon this season. I think part of her healing will be a relationship with Ezekiel. No way to tell for sure when it will happen. Knowing Gimple, it could be spread over two or three seasons, but it also might not be.
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So after noticing the doll, I started studying this picture and symbols started jumping out at me right and left.
(The funny thing was that by the time I actually went into my FB group, there were already like sixteen comments about the symbolism and I'd been tagged a bunch of times, lol. I was actually late to the table for this discussion. And I'd only logged off for like four hours! Well, that's what happens when new TWD stuff comes out, I guess. ;D)
The most obvious symbol to me was Daryl holding the champagne. Definitely milder than moonshine, but who cares? It's alcohol. Can't help but see it as a callback.
What most people in my FB group pounced on is the fact that Carol is feeding Daryl with a spoon. Not only does it remind us of Beth's D.C. spoon, but you don't get a more mother/child image than spoon feeding. Symbolically, many of us have thought for a while that Carol will have a relatively big role in bring Beth and Daryl together. This almost suggests her bringing Beth to him.
The other thing that caught my eye are the flowers he's holding. The reason is that I recently re-watched 7x05, Go Getters. Remember that when Maggie wakes up in the medical trailer in that episodes, there are tons of parallels to Beth waking up.
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Also, when Maggie awakens, the first things she sees are purple flowers. These ones in the EW shoot look exactly like the ones in 7x05. I there's more white in the ones in the EW shoot, but other than that, practically identical.
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So if you ask me, we have Daryl holding alcohol (Still), and flowers a Greene sister saw when she awoke in a medical place with a doctor.
Everything around Norman is screaming Beth to me. We also have peaches on the table and in one of Lauren's pics (peach schnapps)
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and strawberries (totally a Bethyl thing).
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And I’m pretty sure there's pomegranates in there too (Carzekiel).
So we were all doing pretty well with this. Pretty confident in our symbolism, etc. And then something else happened today. One of the EW photographers posted about the symbols used in the photo shoot. As you might imagine, none of the explanations were particularly TD-ish.
But guys, that's okay. Let's face it, they're never going to come out and say, "oh, the champagne is a callback to Still because Beth will be back this season." Just never gonna happen. So they're giving very convenient explanations for what the symbols are. And while they might be mostly true, they also kind of don't make sense.
For example, the stuff Melissa is feeding Norman is chocolate pudding. An obvious callback to Carl, and that's fine. But if they were going to callback to Carl, why not just put him in the photo shoot? He's one of the Atlanta originals and has been on the show longer than Maggie or Michonne. Why use pudding specifically?
This photographer also said the flowers were Carol's "look at the flowers" flowers. Um…if they're actually using that as a "look at the flowers" symbol, that suggests Carol will kill Daryl in this season. I chuckle even typing that because it's so ridiculous. I think we all know that's not happening. So my point is that these explanations aren't hitting the deeper symbolism.
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Also notice they say that Shiva represents the Sanctuary. Well, Shiva...chewed on people who live at the Sanctuary, but she represents the Kingdom. Really not hating on this person. Just pointing out it’s not the most reliable synopsis.
Keep in mind, we've seen them do this before: give convenient explanations that are mostly plot-based, without really going into what the deeper symbolism is. As I told my FB group yesterday, the most recent example that comes to mind is an article that was released a few months ago explaining what the A on Daryl's shirt at the Sanctuary meant.
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They said it meant "asshole" because the Saviors always try to degrade their prisoners. Now, I'm sure that's true. They aren't lying. (Other shirts we see have letters like F and S on them. Not hard to imagine what those stand for.) But the fact is that we saw A’s at the prison, at Terminus, at FG's church, and at Alexandria. Not all of them can possibly stand for a name call/body part. So this was a convenient explanation that doesn't REALLY talk about the deeper symbolism.
If the photographer knows anything at all about the symbols (isn't just guessing) then I’m thinking tptb gave her these simple explanations in case she was asked questions. And there probably is truth to them, but it's deeper and more complex than a simple, one-sentence answer.
The doll isn't just a callback to that one time Carol lost her daughter. It signifies Carol's entire 4 season arc and that fact that it will be front and center this season. She'll have to face Sophia's loss and find a way to finally move past it.
I think the flowers are about resurrection, at least partly. If they're also tied to Carol, well, the whole "look at the flowers" thing didn't start until Lizzie and Mica showed up. So I also think it could symbolize that she'll finally talk to Daryl about the girls.
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Rick is holding the sheriff's badge. That's not TERRIBLY suspicious, but it's been some time since the badge was specifically used to signify him. They've focused more on the red-handled machete and such the past few seasons. So I can't help but think, new sheriff in town?
Aside: I also watched the Fan Favorite video for Carl today. While there's nothing inherently Beth-ish in it, I will say that the damn sheriff's hat is focused on A LOT. Just saying.
Maggie holds Glenn's watch. At first I didn't read much into that. As I told my group, I think it could just signify who she's become since Glenn's death and who she'll continue to be. Her whole purpose now is about her child and about the person she'll become specifically BECAUSE Of Glenn's death.
But the more I thought about it, the weirder that symbol seemed to me. Not only did they go out of their way to close Glenn's arc in a beautiful way, but she even gave the watch away (to Enid) in S7. So to see her holding it here again almost feels like their *ahem* resurrecting it in some way? And I don't even mean that it's necessarily Beth-ish. Just that it's kinda weird. At the very least, it's a time symbol. Maybe showing that the time screw is over and we'll finally go back to Grady and see what's up?
Now let's talk about the pudding one more time. While discussing this, @thegloriouscollectorlady​ said something that really got my wheels turning. She suggested that the pudding definitely was a callback to Carl (it totally is) but that that only goes to show that they're pushing Daryl and Carol as a son/mother relationship. The person who at the pudding before, after all, was the only "kid" on the show. And of course Carol is spoon feeding it to him.
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That made me think more about Carl's whole pudding episode. That episode has a LOT of Beth parallels in it. Check out my analysis HERE.
In a nutshell, Carl sees a dead song bird beside a cage (foreshadowing Beth's “death” at Grady). Right after that, we see lots of resurrection themes. A walker comes at him and he shoots it in the left side of the forehead (right where Beth was shot) and thinks he got it, but it jumps right back up again. This is also where he goes into the bedroom with the nautical theme (Oceanside foreshadow) and has to escape the walker there.
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He beats it with an actual lamp (Lamp Theory) plus there's a yellow bat in the scene. (Yellow = escape, bat = Negan. And what do you know? Oceanside showed up at roughly the same time as Negan; symbolism fulfilled.) Plus, he loses a shoe, and we see yellow-handled scissors near his foot.
That enough TD symbols for you? Right after that, he sits on the roof and eats the pudding. So this was very much about Carl becoming a man and learning to survive by himself. He did all this himself, without Rick's help. It instilled a confidence in him about his own ability to survive.
So now they're applying the pudding symbol to Daryl. Remember what Carol said in Consumed (you know, while they're looking for Beth?). "You used to be a boy. Now you're a man." So I feel like the pudding here is showing that Daryl has matured emotionally.
Remember that tptb and even Norman himself have said many times that Daryl was still emotionally immature in S4. They say that if he had romantic feelings for Beth (which AMC confirmed that he did) he didn't fully understand them. Think about that. Follow the symbolism through to conclusion.
If they're using the pudding symbol for him now (he's eating it, as Carl did) then it suggests he's reached full emotional maturity now. Guess what that means? Time for Beth to appear. He will now be capable of sustaining a romantic relationship with her, where in S4, he really wasn't.
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This one shows Norman pretending to smoke a birthday candle. The candles from the cake he and Andy have all over them. Ostensibly it’s birthday cake to celebrate TWD’s “birthday” with 100 episodes, right? But who was the one character that talked about birthdays before starting a certain fire? Just saying.
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Other interesting symbols:
1) Grapes. This really isn’t a symbol we’ve seen extensively around Beth or anyone else, but it could be termed Beth-ish because there were grapes in her arc in s4. In Inmates, which had the wacky non-chronological story-telling (X), Ty, Lizzie and Mica ate grapes. Later Beth and Daryl find the same ones and Beth picks some for anyone else they may find. Which they don’t.
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2) Carrots are also on the table. (X) I’m gonna add that although we don’t actually see “carrot flowers” as far as I can tell, we do see both carrots and flowers in this shot. And Gimple had planned to play the song “The King of Carrot Flowers” during the dinner scene in Alone. (X). He only didn’t because of copyright issues. Just saying.
3) Apples, of course. (Apple Theory). They’re really around Richonne here, and we’ve seen them specifically around Richonne in the show, especially in 6b. But we’ve seen a lot of apples entwined Beth-related symbolism (as well as other characters like Maggie) so having them here at all is kind of suspicious.
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Finally, there’s a bandage around Andy’s hand. No idea if that’s an Andy thing or a Rick thing, but if it’s a Rick thing, it’s a callback to S4, when Rick wore a bandage on his hand for most of 4a. Beth’s bandage at Grady mirrored that. And maybe it’s not for the show, but it doesn’t seem to be a significant injury (not like a broken bone or anything) which means they could have easily covered it up or photo-shopped it out. I think it’s more likely it was purposely put in.
So all of this rambling boils down to this: No, I'm not worried that C@ryl will go canon this season. Everything points to C@rzekiel. Yes, I think all the symbols we're seeing in the shoot are point to Beth's return. And yes, I think they were purposely put in by tptb, no matter what anyone else says.
We've seen them too often in the show for them to be arbitrary, and everything else we've said in the past still holds true.
But hey, it's just a theory. Just my opinion. I mean, I've only been analyzing the crap out of this show's symbolism for two and a half years. What the hell would I know, right? ;D
Everyone have a fantastic weekend. Four weeks and counting, my Bethyl peeps! Xoxo!
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