#but its like knowing i cant leave the house/should leave the house makes it worse | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

noellefan101 · 2 months

Text

Too Scared to Let Go(To Lose You)

Characters; Lynette, Navia, Xiao, Scaramouche, Lyney, Kaeya, La Signora x gn Reader

Summary; they wont let go of you, no matter what. They can't protect you from harm when they aren't there, so they hold you close to ensure you're there. they've already lost so much.

Warnings; angst, maybe a little bit yandere,

Notes; i did the obvious like xiao, scara, signora and stuff but if i make a part two ill maybe put someone like barbara or nilou in, but that would just be them having intrusive thoughts... probably. will add diluc and venti there as well dont worry, love you

Lynette

She always thinks that you're going to die at some point, get kidnapped or just straight up leave, these thoughts come up once every week or so. But when your out and about or just working late, her thoughts run faster than ever. Of course she has lyney and the rest of the house, but she's just gotten so used to being with both lyney and you now that it doesnt quite feel the same. So her solution is often to hug you as tight as she can when sleeping, hoping you wont disappear in the morning.

And of course you try and help her as much as you possibly can, reassuring her that you wont leave and that youll find a way to get back to her no matter what happens when out and about, but that sometimes just doesnt cut it.

She doesnt cry often, but when she does its a lot, tears streaming down her face for an hour or two, and even longer if you, Lyney and Freminet aren't there with her.

Navia

She cant let go of you in the morning, it was always like that, but it had gotten so much worse after the loss of her two beloved bodyguards. She often mumbles in her sleep about you and how she wants you to stay. Something along the lines of:

“no… no, don’t go, stay… please!! Just stay with me!”

“please stay… stay with me… where did you go… no, come back, please…”’

“[name]… please stay with me… please… just stay…”

You have to wake her up when it seems like she’s panicking and try your best to comfort her, but sometimes she just doesn’t get any sleep because she wants to make sure you don’t disappear while she is asleep. She is of course the same shining Navia when around other people like the Traveler and Paimon, but everyone can see that she doesn’t want to let go of you at all, fearing you’ll vanish if you leave her line of sight for even just a second, its like you’re glued to her.

If people ever see you, they know for a fact that Navia is also there, no matter what. Oh, you want to go over and wish your friend a happy birthday, well she can carry a gift for them with her so you don’t have to. You wanted to cook something but is missing one singular ingredient, you can you go get it together, don’t worry she isn’t putting back anything for it (she totally is, and has multiple offers and such she should be taking a look at rn).

Xiao

He says he shouldn’t be near you all the time, but doesn’t let go when you make him give in to his desires. He’ll hurt you, and you know that, so why are you still here with him. Wait, no, he isn’t trying to make you go away, please don’t, ever. He just cares about you enough to not want you getting hurt because of his karmic debt, he loves you too much to let that happen. But the thought of you leaving him fills his mind more than the karmic debt at times, he dreads it, the fact that you’ll leave eventually, he doesn’t care if its by choice or fate, just don’t. please, please, please don’t leave, just stay with him, please.

He doesn’t want to let go, but feels he needs to, you tell him its fine yet he feels like it isn’t. it feels like he’s hurting you every second of being with you, yet he doesn’t try to let go, he doesn’t even give the thought a chance. you say you’re fine, yet he feels like you’re not. He

feels like hes hurting you, he’s hurting more because of it. But then why does it hurt more without you, why, oh why. What have you done to him, just what did you do that made him so addicted to you. Swear you’ll never leave him ever, and he will do the same, as long as you’re here with him he swears he wont hurt you, he’ll break the karma in half for you, he’ll do anything. Just don’t leave him, please don’t.

Scaramouche

Everyone would say he’s too cocky, confident, and mean. But that’s all because he doesn’t let them see the vulnerable side of him, the leftovers of Kunikusuhi, the side he only shows to you. He shows you they way he cries at the mere thought you could leave him one day, he sobs in your chest as you comfort him and let him focus and anything but the nightmares haunting his being. He wont ever be like that with anyone that isn’t you, he doesn’t give a shit about them they can do whatever, but you have to stay.

He doesn’t care about all the others as long as you don’t leave him too, he doesn’t care about anything other than you. So please, please don’t leave him, ever, he would watch the world burn over and over again as long as he has you.

If you ever told anyone that the 6th harbinger, scaramouche, cries at night just because you left to go get a glass of water, they would call you crazy, say he’s never cried in his life that you must have seen things. But you know its true, and he does too, even if he doesn’t like to admit it. He knows you wont go, you always say you wont, but he just cant let himself to believe you, not when he’s been lied to so many times. He worries too much about you and he knows that, but how could he not, he loves you, and will never let you leave him because you love him too, right?

Lyney

Although he may be the confident, charming and romantic magician Lyney everyday in public, when he finally lets go of the role at home he’s nowhere near that. He cries just because he wanted to see you and he finally did, he worries about not being able to save you someday. He’s a worrywart to say the least

If you were gone for too long, whether on a mission from father or anything else really, he would not be calm at all until you come back. he would only be rather calm after he got a letter from you or in one of his shows where he put too many layers of masks on to hide it. he wants to think that your ok, just as Lynette say you are, you're strong. but he still cant help but worry,and he ends up panicked and stressed, without sleep, too tired to think sbout anything else other than you. dont leave him, he wouldnt survive without you.

That's why you cant leave him. hell lose his mind, and destroy everything around him in the process. he cant let you leave, so please, please don't. his heart is already fragile, it beats only for you now, so don't leave. don't leave. don't... please... please don't, he cant handle that. so, please, don't leave him, ever. stay right here with him, forever.

Kaeya

He doesnt remember his birth parents, he hates them but a little bit, but mostly because they left him, he cant handle thinking about them. and it only made his pain worse when he lost the people he called his family once again, so he cant afford to lose anything else, not when he feels completely at home once again. you are his home now, his family, and his joy. so don't leave or he might lose his mind and start ruining himself from the inside and out.

He loves you, a lot, you're his reason to continue in life. so if he ever sees you leave he would cry, even if all you are doing is leaving his office after giving him his lunch, he would shed a tear at the sight. his heart is fragile ok? He can't bear to lose his life once again, not after his parents left, not after his adoptive family left too.

Don't go, stay, stay right here with him and everything will be fine. i will all be fine, you trust him after all, and he won't let anyone touch you, let alone hurt you. you're safe here with him, don't worry about them, worry about him. you've got him wrapped around your finger without even knowing, you could want a certain sweet from Inazuma and he'll get it as fast as possible. you can get anything you want, ok? The only condition is that you stay right here with him, and only him.

La Signora

She swore she wasn’t going to fall for anyone after her first lover died, so why did she fall for you, how did she fall for you. Honestly you don’t know and she doesn’t either, she doesn’t know how you were able to melt her ice cold heart back to normal, even if only around you and you only, if anyone else is around it freezes back quicker than lightning can strike. She thought she wasn’t able to love again after he died, but you proved her wrong, so you can’t leave too. She cant deal with the death of her lover once again, so don’t leave her, ever.

You hug her in the night as she cries a little, mad at you for leaving her in her dream, but still not mad at you, as her anger is mostly to the world for doing this to her. But don’t worry, she’ll fall asleep eventually as she always does, she does need her beauty sleep after all. But that doesn’t mean she’ll wake up and easily let go again or just get out of bed, she’s stubborn and want you all for herself a little longer. She makes you talk a little as you carefully brush her hair like she taught you to do, and she relaxes a bit when you tell her you love her while kissing her head.

As long as you promise you wont leave her, and keep that promise, she’ll love you forever, she cant bare to see you go out the door even if its just for groceries, someone else can do that don’t worry. Just come and relax with her in a bath, she can wash your hair and you can wash hers. She’ll take care of you like you take care of her, just don’t leave, please. If you ever left her alone for too long she would freak out, she does everything with you, baths, shopping, paperwork even, so she cant bear to be left alone for longer than 30 minutes or she’ll panic. So don’t leave her please, please, please don’t, she’ll even beg for you to not leave her, just stay here with her.

Thank u for reading this, i know this took a long time and I havent posted things these few like weeks I think but I may have writers block(idk why I say it like that) and this was made over like a few months actually heh, luv ya

You are welcome to reblog and like any of my posts, but you CAN NOT translate, copy or hate on anybody for liking my posts

#la signora #la signora x reader #lynette x reader #gn reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact #xiao x reader #scaramouche x reader #scaramouche #xiao #angst #alatus #fatui harbingers #kunikuzushi #kaeya x reader #kaeya alberich #noellefan101 #noellefan #noelle´s maiden

347 notes · View notes

ofbreathandflame · 4 months

Text

ive realized that nesta antis seem to fundamentally misunderstand how and why the intervention is abusive. no one is arguing that the ic is initially obligated to help - or at least, thats not what the argument is.

the ic is not responsible for nesta - feyre is not obligated to help nesta; that portion i absolutely agree with. the problem was - and always has been - that the ic personally put themselves in charge of nesta. they don't suggest - they demand. they couldve have literally just cut nesta off - and that would have been their right.

nesta is forced to go to the house of wind. she cannot leave by herself unless she has a chaperone. she cannot decide what she eats, what she wears, and who can visit her. she is forced to work in the library, she is forced to train in a foreign land. her clothes were already packed delivered to the house of wind before she attended the meeting -- before she even formally gave a response. her house WAS TORN DOWN BY THE TIME THE MEETING HAD EVEN STARTED. they had already made the decision before she could make it for herself. they personally put themselves in charge of her well being. feyre told nesta that if she had to be TIED UP AND FORCIBLY TAKEN to the house of wind - she would. that is not a choice. they then repeadedly ask HER TO DO COURT DUTIES AND INTENTIONALLY USE elain to force nesta into action. AND THEY DONT PAY HER FOR THIS. SHE STILL HAS TO GO RIGHT BACK TO THE HOW.

they literally deemed her too mentally ill function in society, to live by herself -- but sure lets send on her these missions (and she is then sexually assaulted TWICEEE).

yall - thats not legal by even our standards. in many ways its written much worse than tamlin's scene in maf bc the story justifies itself.

you cant argue that the ic is not responsible for nesta when THEY DECIDED to intervene. at that point, nesta IS their responsibility. she literally has to depend on them to eat, sleep, live, and work. they take measures to make her completely dependent on them. she has to sleep in the house of wind with cassian, even though she explained that she wanted nothing to do with him.

like if you dont like nesta - good on you. but this idea that we should always rely on this "we know what they meant" is so annoying bc nesta literally almost DIES bc cassian literally ignored and watched nesta waste away JUST LIKE TAMLIN DID. no one noticed that she was terrified of the sound of wood crackling - she just sat there and endured it. and everyone called her a bitch about it. and the fact that maf uses these same scenario to call out tamlin but not cassian reiterates the problem with this series. these topic are nothing outside of how you can continually justify your favs. it doesnt take much to see how cassian and tamlin literally do the same things , yet ive not seen one meta from that side earnestly discussing it bc "nesta is difficult" very nasty behavior is you ask me.

#anti sjm #anti feyre #anti rhysand #anti cassian #anti inner circle #anti feysand #anti acosf #anti sjm: pro nesta #anti sjm: pro nesta archeron

349 notes · View notes

elvisslut · 9 months

Text

Grades and results|| pt.2

Warnings-death of a loved one, depression, crying, mentions of neglecting father, Elvis being a dick (he gets better later)

A/n: this is a shorter chapter just to get us started in the angst but i hope you like it

You never would have figured the day of your first f would lead to so much more. So much..chaos.

Your meeting with mr.Presley did not go smoothly he yelled at you multiple times as you begged for a redo. Telling you 'no ya learn from your damn mistakes: You ended up leaving the room tears flowing down your face.

Once you got home everything..everything. Fell apart. You're mother was on the living room floor. So pale and lonely... "mama?..mama!" You rush to her side and try to pull her to your arms her weight too heavy for you. Getting up and going to the phone calling 911 spitting out your address and your emergency. In no time they were there so were the police seeing as most of the police officers knew you and your mother. Tears streamed down your sweet face police comforting you as your mother is sent away in a ambulance that they didn't allow you in.

You still had school tomorrow..how were you going to live..how were you supposed to do anything.your mama was your best friend. Stripped straight from you. The police soon had to leave. Leaving you alone with a empty memory haunted house. You couldn't even cry anymore the pain was just..so much. Getting off your porch step you go back inside and look down to where your mama laid. Stepping past it you sit back on the couch and look at the wall.

Sleep didn't come to you that night. All you did was look at everything till you had to leave for school. Not even remembering to grab your bag, not paying attention to where you were even going. It was like you were a robot, a robot with eye bags red eyes a red nose and pouty lips.

Ignoring all hi's in the halls on your way to mr. Presleys class. You were late. Opening the door you see everyone in there, the bell just then ringing. Everyone looks to you and frown's watching as you go to your seat. Youre late" mr. Presley says. "Sorry" you mumble looking down at your desk.

Davis scoots his desk closer to you and give mr.presley a look making him stop what he was doing and cross his arms. "I heard..my dad..he..he said you..im sorry y/n.» he says trying to find a way to word it. You look over and look him in the eye. Oh that look. That look was pure hurt and mourning. "Mr.Cross." Mr.Presley bellows. "will you wait a fucking minute!?" He shouts. "Office. Now. Get your ass there. Ms.l/n. care to explain why ya were distracted the class" he grumbles.

"No" you short earning a huff. "Yall go out to the commons let me have a word with ms.l/n here." Everyone shuffles out at his word you just keep your head down. "Now why the hell did ya interrupt my class so damn much? Is it the f? I told ya god dammit ya learn from your god damn mistakes i ought to call your mama and tell 'er" that broke you tears streaming down your face immediately so much worse then him yelling at you yesterday.

"God damn its just a bad grade.” He huffs. "My-my mama..s-she…she..died…she died last night..i-uh. found her..when I got home.. from school..i-im sorry for i-interrupting but i-..l can't..i cant be-be normal for everyone. not for- for a while." you say through struggling breaths. *Y/n. oh lord..i must seem like the world's biggest ass." he leans down by your side and shows you for the first time His soft side. *M sorry darlin' I know how it feels to lose your mama.i lost mine when i was in the army.i can't imagine how ya must feel havin' to find her. he says with such a soft tone you could melt. "You did? Im sorry." he chuckles and reaches back to his desk grabbing a tissue bringing it up to your cheek and wiping the tears.

"Why are ya here doll..ya should be home with your daddy." he grabs your hand and gives you a soft smile. “My daddy left when i was 10..i don't have a relationship with him." Elvis' lips part realizing that meant you was all alone. You look too innocent to be touched by this world now your stripped straight from the innocence of it all. Elvis just wanted to hold you and protect you. knowing the pain of losing a mother he knows his earlier actions didn't help. “Plus..i gotta keep perfect attendance.get that award at the end of the year..that my mama always hung on the fridge" you chuckle a bit and sniffle. “‘M so sorry for how I treated ya yesterday an' today..I know it probably aint helpin' ya...” his words were sincere but you didn't care you just needed someone close.

You looked at him and fell to him hugging him. He stays still for a moment before wrapping his arm around your waist and laying his hand on your head. “Ya need to go home..take some time to yourself honey." he speaks softly in your ear. "My home is in a morgue." You bluntly tell him. He understands. He really does. "I cant go back to that house. you add nothing would hurt worse then going to your house.

"Doll..ya can't..ya gotta stay somewhere" he pulls back and pushes some hair behind your ear. "Im 18 mr. Presley. it's difficult to stay with friends or go anywhere i cant work because of school..im stuck" he sighs and shakes his head. "No.i got a ranch.ya can stay there i don' stay there i stay at my other house. ill..ill come by and get ya for school every day and make sure ya got what ya need okay?" Damn this man had two houses? You think for a second and frown. "I-..I don't want to intrude..or be a issue..im okay i can figure it out mr. Presley" he shakes his head and gives you a smile.

"I insist. ‘Ieast stay till ya figure somethin' else out" he says, you sigh..you really didn't have much choice. "Okay." you mumble. "Ill take ya there after school okay?" You nod and let go of him. "Thank you. you say sadness coating your tone. He hums and gets up. ‘m goin' to get them wolly boogers ill be right back"

The rest of the day elvis cut you slack so did the other teachers the news spreading so fast around the school it was like wildfire.

Once school was over you headed to mr.Presleys room seeing him with his sunglasses again as he signed papers. His attention goes up to you giving you a warm smile that made butterflies in your stomach. "Ready honey?" He asks, you nod and go to his desk. "need any help?" your voice is quiet and hash from all the crying. "nah honey thank ya. tell me where your house is so i can go in and get ya some clothes" he wasnt even going to make you go into that horrifying house? "uh.its the first house on bearver avanue" you answer starting to walk with him towards most definitely his car.

He goes onto pass a black stutz but grabs the handle of the passanger seat nodding for you to get in. He owns a stutz too? God his pockets must be loaded. You genuinely chuckle a bit at the thought as he rounded the car. You look over to him as he gets in. *thank you again mr.presley" you say with a soft sad smile. "no problem honey..an' please we're outta school its elvis. he starts the car and heads to your house. Its quite quiet on the way there just each others breathing.

"what do ya need?” he asks opening his door. "uh. you really do-“ “what do ya need?” he cuts you off. "uh. just anything is good. m-my room is the last past the kitchen. Thank you.” you bite down on your lip trying not to cry again. He nods and goes into your house, he opened your closet to see all the cute doll outfits you had.. God those would look so good on you. His thoughts ran wild before he shook his head and grabbed underwear and bras for you holding all the stuff in his arms as he headed back outside.

He opened the truck and laid everything back there, getting back in and smiling at you. "Ill give ya a tour when we get to the ranch.” He says, you nod softly and look to the road as he starts to drive again. There was a moment in the drive you ended up falling asleep and once at the ranch elvis didn't know what to do. So much for the tour but You probably needed it. He knows he didn't sleep when he lost his mother you probably didn't either so he just got you out of the car and took you inside to the main bed, covering you up and getting your clothes out of the car and put up.

He decided to stay for a second to make sure you didn't wake up and need anything but he ended up sleeping as he watched the tv.

It was around three in the morning when you woke up frowning at the unknown room slowly stepping your feet down and searching the hall the kitchen then the living room frowning as you see Elvis. "Uh…mr.presley?" you hum in your sweet voice. Rounding the couch and seeing he was asleep. That position he was in was probably uncomfortable. "Elvis..” you say softly ,shaking him. He hums and blinks his eyes open. "oh..hey kid.” he grumbles in a tired voice. "go lay down In a bed.” you say, elvis shakes his head and sits up.

"no...no i gotta get home..damn its 3?” he checks his watch and stands. "ill see ya in the mornin" you did not want to be alone but you knew he probably didn't want to be here right now.

"Bye elvis." you say bringing your legs up on the couch and hugging them to you watching the tv station that was on of course it was past midnight so it was just replaying the news. With a sigh you lean over and turn the tv off with the remote.

Tags- @elvisalltheway101 @emma181873 @elvispresleygf

#austin butler elvis #elvis music #elvis presley #elvis the king #baz luhrmann elvis #elvis photos #elvis smut #elvis songs #elvis the pelvis #elvis x reader

54 notes · View notes

myymi · 5 months

Note

"maybe he hides away to avoid telling them that them not grooming him genuinely makes him sad because that's pathetic. it shouldn't make him sad or lonely. it's just brushing, it's something everyone does it shouldn't be so hard and depressing"

DUDEE YES YES

dude imagine Tails hiding himself away like literally locking himself away in his room so that he doesn't have to deal with them confronting him like maybe they confronted tails and he got really defensive about it. because he knows if he tells them the truth that they would start to try and help him which would just make tails feel worse because he thinks it would be a hassle. like imagine he yelled at them that he didn't need help and wasn't a baby.

i like to imagine sonic, shadow, knuckles and Amy kind of hung around taiks house for a few days because the kid has to come out of his room eventually.

maybe after a while they decide that they just cant wait any longer because something is obviously wrong only to go into tails room to find him pathetically trying to brush his fur while crying. because he's so overwhelmed and its so much. cause he's an eight year old he maybe starts to do the frustrated thing kids do where they just start harshy brushing it to the point it hurts.

he's only 8 emotions are hard and confusing

sonic has to gently tug the brush away because he can't let tails hurt himself like that

but maybe that doesn't help. maybe tails turns to trying to rip through his tangles with his nails because he has to do it. he doesn't want ot burden his siblings with something as small as brushing his fur

so knuckles and amy take a hand each and keep them from his fur. not holding tight enough to where he can't get away or feels trapped, but enough so he'll stop hurting himself

and shadow leaves the room, because if his fur is in this state god only know how long it's been since he's eaten something

they have to use soft words to get him to calm down and stop crying. and then it's at the point where he can't run or hide away so he has to explain what's happening to him

he's forced to explain how sad he's been because his siblings don't brush him. he has to explain how foxes get depressed when they're not groomed by loved ones and they need to socialize

and they'll ask why he never said anything and he just. explicitly states that he could burden them with something he should be able to do on his own

#miles tails prower #sonic the hedgehog #sth #tails the fox #sonic #whotfletamothhyperfix #myyanswers #knuckles the echidna #unbreakable bond #amy rose #shadow the hedgehog #dynamic duo #brain and brawn #pinky lemonade #bumblebee #big sibs

33 notes · View notes

starkeyletters · 11 months

Text

•̩̩͙⁺𝐍𝐞𝐰 𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧, 𝐒𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐎𝐥𝐝 𝐌𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 P3

N.P.S.O.M Masterlist | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Warnings - 18+, Mature theme, Drug & substance use, Violence, smut, mental illnesses, crime, cheating, toxic relationships, accident, injury, etc.

Wordcount - 3k+

Pairing - 𝑅𝐴𝐹𝐸 𝐶𝐴𝑀𝐸𝑅𝑂𝑁 x 𝙁𝙀𝙈 𝙊𝘾 [Reader] | 𝙤𝙪𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙗𝙖𝙣𝙠𝙨 [ 𝑎𝑢 ]

Summary - Exs. Should stay exs. But when the pair cant seem to get off eachothers minds, things happen, mistakes are made.Its not like they changed, they were New people, making the same old mistakes.

A/n - Y/n is being

You shot up, Your eyes wide as the sun shined through the familiar blinds of the room. Your mind slowing remembering piece by piece the events of last night. Rafe on the other hand, was still sleeping peacefully next to you, some of the light coming in his door that was cracked open shining over his face. Your breathing got heavier by the second, you could've sworn you were having a panic attack.

Last night was a mistake, a huge mistake. You had sex with your ex. With Rafe. It was just hitting you.

You looked down at Rafe next to you, Your hand fell to his jawline, your fingers tracing over it then down his neck. Your eyes become tear-filled. Regret Filled within you. This was wrong. So fucking wrong. All the progess you made to get over rafe flushed down the drain. Not only was it bad for you, it was worse for Rafe. The boy was already so hurt from the breakup, so damaged. God knows what this is going to do to him.

“No, no, no,” You whispered to yourself, getting out of his bed as best as you could without waking him. Picking your dress up off the floor, pulling it over your head. Your underwear nowhere to be found. You couldnt spend a moment more in that house, you had to leave. Plus your shift at the wreck was starting soon. Picking up the rest of your belongings, you tip-toed out of Rafes bedroom, closing the door behind you and taking a deep breath once you do so.

Before your food hit the first step, you hesitated. Hesitated to leave. But why? It was a mistake, right? Hearing the voice of an older man, who you frigured to be Ward, Took you out of your hesitated state, causing you to go down the steps as fast as you could and get out of that house. You were almost sure that if you hadn't heard ward, you would've been running in the opposite direction. Back into Rafes room.

You were lucky enough to make it to your shift on time. Having to run through the downpour that soaked you. Even though you used your umbrella. The hurricane on its way was no joke. Your work friend, alice, covering for you. “What were you up to last night at the party, y/n? I didn't see you.” She smirked, you knew what she was implying. Shes been at you for weeks to start seeing someone knew, the last thing she wouldve thought was that you fucked your ex.

Giving her a tight lip smile, you continued filling the beer from the tap for a customer sat at the bar, “Oh, i didn't go.” You lied. You trusted ali with your life, but you couldn't build up the courage to tell her about what happened last night. “Oh. You werent?” She began filling a glass of whiskey for a customer, “well, Sarah Stopped by,” She started, you felt your stomach drop. What did she tell her? Did she know?

“She did?” You replied, “She asked where you were. Said she was looking for where you went last night. Also said the pogues were worried, you didn't go back to the chateau or something?” You quickly nodded, Thankful this was something you could back up - and more than thankful at the fact she still had no clue you attended that party.

“Right. I better go call her, i was with them before the party, i changed my mind of going when i got home. By the way, How was the party?” You asked, hoping your body language was too suspicious. “It was good… nothing too exciting,” She slipped past you, giving both drinks to each of the customers. The wreck wasn't busy today, since your shift started, 2, maybe three, people came in for just drinks. Locals, the same ones who showed up at the same time, everyday. it was shocking, it was a warm, sunny day out. Though, You figured most people were probably at the country club.

Just then, you heard the bell above the door ring, meaning finally another customer. You stood up from leaning over the counter, grabbing a few menus, just incase, and walking towards the door. Not realizing who it was that walked in until you looked up.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Meanwhile, not too long before.

Rafe was woken by the sound of his father in his doorway, yelling at him for The activities from last night at the party. His pillow being pushed down against his head in order to block out the noise of his annoying father shouting, until he remembered what happened, with you. He shot up in his bed, Ward shutting the door. He looked next to him to see nothing. You were gone. Why the hell did you leave?

The boy got out of bed, walking around to your side. Noticing the way you pulled the sheets up and fixed it as if he wouldn't be changing them. He also noticed, when he looked next to the bed at one of his nightstands which stood on the side you spend the night on, Your necklace. Specifically the necklace you told Rafe the meaning behind. It was the necklace you had from your mother who passed around the same time Rafes did.

The necklace had a R on it, for your moms name. But you also told rafe it meant for both his, and your mothers name. You liked to believe so. They were both such important people in your life.

Rafe, Knowing how bad it was to keep the necklace from you, took it off the nightstand and he placed it in his pocket. He knew it was wrong, but he wasn't giving it back to you. At Least not yet.

Rafe got dressed, in his striped blue polo and khaki shorts. With his jacket since the rain was coming down outside. The hurricane on its way was not shy of hiding it was coming. Not one bit. The sky was filled with dark rain cloud, and it was windier than ever.

He knew where you worked, so he knew exactly where he was headed after he dealt with whatever shit his father needed him for. And if you weren't at work, he knew to check with your father at your house. Your father was like Rafes, even after you broke up. That's why you always spend time with the pogues. SInce your father is always out golfing, or doing something with Rafe. It annoyed you, .

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Looking up, your eyes met Rafes, standing next to him was jack. It was a surprise to you, and alice, who stood at the counter, her mouth open, covered by her hand. Rafe hadnt step foot in the wreck since you broke up. Well, now, hooked up. But that's besides the point. Why was he here now? What more could he possibly want?

You swallowed, hard. But doing your best to give them a smile, “Welcome, Just the two of you?” They nodded, following behind you as you led them to a Both in the far right corner, seating them. Handing them the menus, Your hand was brushed over by Rafes, You couldn't keep his eyes off of you.

“U-uh, could i get you two started with drinks?” You pulled out your notebook, “ill take a beer, what about you Rafe?” Jack said, smirking agt Rafe from across the table. “Ill have a vodka soda,” He stated, shutting his menu. “Oh, do you think we could just order our food now too?” Jack laughed, You turned back around walking towards there table. “Sure, What would you guys like?”

“Ill get the fried eggs, with the side of bacon. Oh, And could you add your friend over theirs number?” He asked, referring to alice. You cringed, writing down his order. “She has a boyfriend. But everything else sounds good,” you finish writing his order, ready to take Rafes when jack scoffs in annoyance regarding your reply.

“I'm sorry, is there a problem? Because i'd be more than happy to show you the exit.” You smiled, crossing your arms as the boy shook his head. You, accepting his answer, turned to rafe, “I'm good with just the drink, thanks anyway, pretty girl.” Your face, turning a bright shade of pink at the nickname. You turned, “Ill be right back with your drinks.” And once again, You were stopped by a hand grabbing the wrist of your left arm, almost causing you to trip.

You turned back around, for the second time. Your lips parted as you looked down at what Rafe was holding in his other hand. Your panties, Red lace ones from the night before, to be exact. He dangled them up in the air, everyone who was looking in that direction would have seen. “Was gonna keep ‘em, Thought you might have wanted them back though.” The boy had enough courage to smile as he shoved them into your pocket. Jack, on the other hand, was almost shitting himself from laughing.

“Screw you.” You hissed, hot tears slipping down your cheeks, turning around and storming off back into the kitchen. ‘Yough already did, sweetheart.” Rafe yelled out. Alice watched the way you pushed past her, the look and tears on your face said everything she needed to know. “Motherfucker.” She whispered, watching as the two both in the booth sat laughing. Following behind you into the back where the staff kept these belongings.

“I don't know what the fuck happened out there, but you can take the rest of the day off if you need to.” alice said, walking next to where you stood. You covered your red-tear filled face with your hands, sliding down the wall as alice followed. “Sh. it's ok. Hes just an obsessive ex, hes a jerk.” You couldn't help but shake your head. It wasn't even that

She was saying that, it was the fact you lied to her. She was the person you went to. And you couldn't even tell her what happened.

“Ill call my dad-” You sobbed, taking out your phone. Alice put her hand over yours. “I already did. He's on his way.”

You bit your bottom lip, falling farther back against the locked door. “I'm sorry.” you sniffed, “I-i didn't think he'd come in here like this.” Your left hand flew to your face, wiping the tears that previously coated your face. “Its not your fault, Y/n. Exs suck. Plus, it was bound to happen at some point, he hasn't come in here since the two of you broke up.”

You shook your head, you couldn't stand yourself for lying to her. All you wanted to do was just break down and tell her every detail. “This is going to be fun to explain to my dad,” You laughed, “He treats Rafe like his son. He never believes a single thing I say about Rafe that isnt perfect..”

Alice hissed, her teeth pushing together, “I could imagine. It wasn't my dad, but my mom, she was the exact same way with one of my exs. Sometimes he still comes over,” She pushed the damp cloth under your eyes and onto your cheeks. Wiping off any evidence that these were tears, or even the fact of you were crying. “You wanna take the back door out?” She removed the cold cloth from your face and you opened your eyes. You nodded, slowly pushing yourself up from the spot on the floor.

“What are you gonna do about them?” You wiped down your skirt, picking your purse off of the floor. “Oh, don't worry. Just gonna let them sit there until they realize no one's serving them. They'll get the hint.`` You couldnt help the way you laughed at the situation that could cause someone here to lose their job, But they deserved it. Hearing a honk come from somewhere outside of the wreck, you knew it was your dad.

“Thank you.” You mouthed, running out the door, Getting to your dads truck before you became soaked from the rain. You could've sworn the rain was coordinated with your emotions. When it Rains, it pours, that's for sure.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

The Lights constantly flickered for the past few hours. Even For living on figure eight, it came as no surprise.

“Y/N. Suppers ready.” You heard your stepmom yell from the bottom of the steps . Her and your Father were cooking a huge dinner, god knows why, guessing it was for leftovers once the storm hit. Yet, you had no clue how you would heat it up. The generator wasn't going to last for however long the power cuts out for.

As you made your way down the stairs you could smell cookies being baked with the faint smell of what supper was. Sitting at the dining table your step-mother handed you a paper plate, with a slice of pizza on it from the pizza place on the boardwalk. “Didn't you guys make supper?” You questioned them, “We did. The food we made is for the storm, and so are the cookies being made. So don't touch it until then.” You rolled your eyes. Your step sister, who was a couple of years younger than you, took a seat next to you. “How much longer until this stupid storm starts, some of my friends have already lost power.” She scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest.

Your step-sister Charlie, you swear, is 13 going on 30. She is a brat, spoiled at that. She is most definitely their favorite child, no matter how much they deny it. It's not like it bothers you any, you just wished you could have your father back. To the way it was before her and her mother came along. No matter how happy he is now.

The dinner table was always filled with awkward silence. Sure, there would be a few conversations between your dad and stepmom here and there, but besides that, Charlie was always on her phone, and you never had any ideas on what to say. What could you say, It was a relief to finish eating. Most days you'd even pretend you were full to just go back up to your room.

Finishing supper, you threw your plate into the garbage, heading back up to your room. You shut your bedroom door behind you, letting yourself fall onto your bed. Listening to the rain hit the window outside for a few moments before you picked up your phone. Notifications almost immediately lighting up your face from your screen.

Sarah (5:18pm)

Y/N call me

Sarah (5:18pm)

Missed call (x2)

Sarah (5:20pm)

Helloooo

Sarah (5:24pm)

Please call me its about rafe

Sarah (5:33pm)

Call me when you get this please

Sitting up from laying down, you pressed sarah's contact, calling her number. It was Fear bubbled inside your chest, imagining any possible scenario as to what this is about. Did she find out about the two of you guys hooking up? Did Something Bad happen to Rafe? Your mind wouldn't stop, biting your nails before the phone went straight to the answering machine, then again, then again. It didn't surprise you, it was almost a half hour ago that she texted you.

“Y/N.” Your stepmom cried out, opening up your bedroom door. “Get your stuff, we have to go to the hospital, your fathers already in the truck. Hurry.” You looked at her dumbfounded, Being no surprise this had something to do with Rafe seeing the texts Sarah sent you.

You grabbed your purse, along with your phone. Throwing on a sweater. You went as fast as you could down the steps and into the garage, getting in the back seat on his truck. Noone said a single thing. Except, Charlie wasn't in the vehicle with you. “What happened?” You asked, fear lacing your voice. It wasnt that you knew, but you could feel as if something happened. Something bad.

“Rafe got into an accident, sweetheart.” Your stepmom cooed. Trying to hold back the break in her voice that was clear to you. You scoffed, crossing your arms as you stared out through the window, the rain heavy, the sky dark. It didn't surprise you he would have gotten into an accident. Especially if he was on coke. The weather was in no way fit to drive in. You couldn't understand why your parents cared enough to drive in it, or why they brought you along. As sympathetic as you are, Rafe was a dick. Especially from the stunt he decided to come into the wreck and pull today.

“I wonder why.” You mumbled. “What was that y/n?” Your father croaked, threat lacing over his tone. was he seriously breaking down over this? “You guys do know we're broken up. We have been for a while.” You shook your head. Your dad couldn't drive any slower if he tried. Atleast at the hospital Sarah would be there.

“We know that, y/n. But rafe is like family to us. Whether you two are together or not. He is a great young man.” Your father yelled, you couldn't help but laugh at the way he used ‘family’. “He got into that accident because he was probably high on drugs for fucks sake! Maybe if you listened to me more and didn't treat me like a piece of glass youd know that,”

Tears slipped out of your eyes, not only from whatever was happening now, but the thought of Rafe. No matter how much you tried hiding it. You felt horrible. Horrible for everything you said and even thought. Rafe was an ex to you, in your head but for sure not in your heart. You still loved him, so much. And the fact of seeing him hurt, hurt you.

Noone said a word after your statement. Not too long after, your father pulled into the hospital parking lot. You did not want to go in there.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Taglist - @joselyn001 @madelynie

(DM or comment to be added to my tag list.)

6.5.23

@ starkeyletters 2023

59 notes · View notes

bridgyrose · 2 days

Note

Part 2 of the Sentient Weapons AU?

(Lets have some fun)

Ruby tapped her foot on the ground as she leaned against the wall of the inn while she waited for Yang and Blake to meet up with her. It was strange for Yang to call her back from a mission, even more so for her to be late after insisting that Ruby come back. And yet, here she waited while Weiss and Penny restocked for another venture out into the forest.

“Maybe she’s just running late,” Crescent Rose suggested. “I’m sure something had to come up-”

“The village is just a couple houses, a market, townhall, and farms,” Ruby interrupted as she spoke in a hushed whisper. “Its almost impossible to run late here, much less get side tracked with anything. And with the way Yang sounded, it must’ve been urgent to get us back here.”

“I still think she’s just running late.”

Ruby shook her head and checked her scroll. “She’s never been this late unless she’s found trouble.”

“What trouble could she have found already?”

“I dont know, grimm?” Ruby put her scroll away and grumbled a bit as she pulled away from the wall and walked outside the inn to check for Yang. It had been almost an hour since Yang had asked her to meet her here, but with no sign of her in sight, she wondered if she had misheard her. “I should go find her.”

“You should listen and wait for her.”

“She’s already late!” Ruby let out a heavy sigh and a low growl. “Why am I even arguing with you? You’re just a weapon.”

“A weapon that knows you just as well as you know yourself!” Crescent Rose retorted. “And we both know the second you go out looking for Yang, you’re going to find yourself in trouble.”

Ruby huffed and leaned against the wall of the inn again. Of course Crescent Rose was right, trouble always did seem to find her when she was least expecting it and leaving now would just make things worse. Though, arguing with her weapon didnt seem to be helping either.

She finally started to relax when she caught sight of Yang walking over, a small smile crossed her lips as she walked over. “I thought you said you’d be here an hour ago.”

“I tried to be on time,” Yang said as she rubbed her arm a bit. “Guess I lost track of time.”

“Why did you ask for us to come back anyway?”

“I’m going to sound insane but… Ember Celica said the grimm are just distracting us.”

Ruby pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. “That could’ve been a phone call. But… it does make sense with how they’ve been popping up all over.”

Yang paused. “You’re just going to accept that? No question about Ember Celica talking?”

“I’d say it’d be strange if Crescent Rose wasnt talking to me too. Any ideas who might be causing the attacks.”

“It could be Cinder,” Crescent Rose suggested.

“And she disappeared,” Ruby retorted in a hushed whisper.

“Everything okay, Ruby?” Yang asked.

Ruby nodded and pulled out her scroll. “Crescent Rose thinks its Cinder but… I dont know, we havent seen any activity from her in months. And Ozpin is sure that whoever she’s working for isnt much of a threat right now.”

“Maybe we should worry about why our weapons are talking first before doing anything about the grimm.”

“We can worry about our weapons later-”

“Ruby, our weapons can talk!” Yang growled out. “Why arent you more freaked out about this? We should be focused on finding out why they’re suddenly sentient and figure out how to fix this.”

Ruby sighed and pulled Crescent Rose off her back. She ran a gentle hand across her weapon as she stared into her reflection. “This… this is practically a dream come true. You have no idea how much I’ve wanted to be able to talk to Crescent Rose like a person. And she and I have already been working like a team.”

“Yeah but… doesnt it bother you to have a voice whisper in the back of your mind?”

“Its… different, but… you, Blake, and Weiss figure out what’s going on with our weapons and I’ll handle the grimm.”

“You cant go alone.”

“I wont be alone.” Ruby put Crescent Rose on her back again. “Besides, you can trust me.”

“Fine, but… if you see Cinder, call us.”

Ruby nodded and rushed off in a flurry of rose petals, the small smile she had faded into a frown as she made her way to the closest known pack of grimm. First she’d deal with the grimm, then find out what caused her weapon to talk. After all, she didnt want to lose a wish come true.

#rwby #ruby rose #rwby ruby rose #yang xiao long #drabbles #crescent rose #sentient weapons au

5 notes · View notes

unlimitedhorsepower · 2 years

Text

my thoughts on t&b2 cour2 summarized ngl

huge massive spoilers under the cut:

(following is half copied from me telling this to people who dont know t&b lore)

im genuinely inconsolable over yuri and what happened to him.

its not even that he could or should be saved but he truly deserved something better. killing people... who cares... on-screen his murders have notably included a serial rapist for example which isnt said ig but it was a guy who only kills women he picks up at a club etc...

killing your abusive father and then going on to kill murderers and serial killers isnt a crime he had to pay for with his own life jesus christ. he was a victim in that. and i dont care hes killed people they had it coming and deserved to fucking explode.

and he dies so miserable and alone. and the truth about mr.legend didnt even come out. i guess it might, but it wasnt shown on-screen and i dont care. he never lived to see it. i cant believe it im actually just bawling.

his last scenes gratuitously consisted of his body being controlled by someone else, and before that happened his mother was shot to death. and he hallucinated his shit dad and the hallucination was like i can never be forgiven but youve followed your own sense of justice. goodbye.

yuri begged for the hallucination to not to leave him but even a hallucination of his shit dad couldnt stay to make him feel marginally better because he just didnt want to be alone.

so, alone and miserable, he bawled on the floor on top of the bloodstain where his mother was shot by the criminals who broke into his house.

and he told about his past to kotetsu&barnaby and kotetsu even himself acknowledged he said things yuri probably didnt want to hear. AND YEAH he was kind of a huge fucking dick i dont care what you had to say about mr.legend (he didnt defend him and condemned him but he was like ill definitely never be like him etc)

then in the end yuri stood alone, bleeding to death, after having given the rest of his strength to protect the protags of course, and they half-heartedly tried to convince him to come down from there. but the narrative had no kindness left for yuri whatsoever, only a dramatic moment of him breaking his mask while blood pooled around him.

so he just said hes following his own code of justice, and he earlier acknowledged its not the voice of thanatos he follows but his own voice. and then he pressed his hand on his chest and set himself on fire and jumped down.literally it was worse than if he had just died.

he burnt himself to death and literally enacted my metaphors about him being born from ashes (awful childhood, killing his father with fire) and returning to ashes once he has burned himself up. but it was literal.

and since his mother died... and only kotetsu and barnaby know his story... its so incredibly cruel and callous. he literally disappeared, like his life didnt matter, and he didnt even leave a body behind. mr.legend still has all those mythos around him, and what yuri got was to be a footnote in the line of judicial officials of sternbild and vigilantes killed in action.

im actually devastated. he never got a single piece of happiness.

one of his last interactions as yuri was kotetsu telling him that he will never become like mr.legend because he has a partner like barnaby.

how i understand his last actions is that yuri accepted hes fully alone, and will be alone, forever. he has nobody to support him like kotetsu has, and will never have it, hes too broken, too far gone.

and so, he had to die because there was no saving him. he killed himself for that, because he had no hope left. he thought he could never be forgiven, like his father could never be forgiven, but what yuri ever did was never in any way equal to being evil. to have him equated to anything mr.legend did (within the narrative) is unimaginably horrifying.

im like genuinely just crying i WISH i was joking saying that but im not. im trying to make it into a joke but i cant im just genuinely devastated.

like i know any depth i made up for ryan in my mind is my bad because i think about him way too hard but i was a little disappointed in his actions but thats whatever, my expectations were high since hes my favourite, right?

it wasnt even that bad, im just disappointed he mostly got to interact with karina which i really enjoy as well they have a funny dynamic, but i like him so im like oh! theres sooo much more to him hehe. but again, whatever, hes out there, i can imagine him doing whatever i want. he didnt contradict anything i think of him either.

but yuri... ohhh.... taking this very personally actually. i cant believe the narrative didnt give him any mercy. it was a choice they made, to have him burn up like that.

like have i somehow thought of yuri petrov way too hard?... im just devastated. he was a sympathetic character, i never have ever considered for a single moment he could DIE. and in that sort of way?

did i somehow misinterpret the entire scenario? i dont even know what i couldve misunderstood to make this better in my mind. he didnt die?.. he just uhm... went bungee jumping

like the rest of the cour i liked, there were a lot of fun parts. but i just...this is something i cant get over. it felt so incredibly cruel to him, because to me he has always been the victim.

and i thought... i dont know... that he deserved better. that he deserved to feel happiness, not die feeling thoroughly miserable and alone. i cant even reasonably focus on the parts with ryan even if hes my favourite character. i wish he had died too, for equality, idfc.

i wish LL audun had smashed his head like an egg and this was the last shot i saw of him.

everyone else can “die” and then be fine i guess uh maybe ill just choose to believe yuri somehow is fine despite losing all of his blood and burning up and falling from a great height then thats my choice. they didnt show me anything that contradicts it.

which also just reminds me nobody even remembered him after his death. i thought the last shot would have him with “true heroes” and ill be honest i was crying incredibly hard thinking about yuri but i didnt see any indication he was remembered by anyone in any way.

again, this is a deliberate choice taken by the narrative and just remains so heartless.

does anyone else agree or have some other sort of take on this?! was i simply distracted by the huge amounts of yuri petrov lore i made up in my mind so that i misunderstood half of the season and also didnt see a huge memorial set up for him or something at least.

?????

cant even enjoy anything else in the cour because of how much this bothers me. i would be glad if i just had hit my head and somehow saw a different series in my mind than what everyone else saw

#tiger and bunny #tiger and bunny spoilers #T&B2

87 notes · View notes

okaykawaa · 2 years

Text

𝙄’𝙈 𝘽𝙇𝙊𝘾𝙆𝙄𝙉𝙂 𝙔𝙊𝙐 - tbp texting fic !

𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐞𝐳𝐞𝐫𝐬

Saturday 3:18 PM

mintisthebest : crying screaming shaking hyperventilating.

iheartspace : now..what in the hell is wrong with you ? 😟

mintisthebest : I asked Vance to hang out and he said yes

readallaboutit : AYEEEE

acrobat : that’s great 😁 !

iheartspace : ….

acrobat : what?

iheartspace : what’s wrong with griffin 💀?

acrobat : wdym there’s nothing wrong.

➜ that’s great 😁!

iheartspace : I’m taking abt this 😟

acrobat : okay..what about it?

iheartspace : you’re usually grumpy

acrobat : .

readallaboutit : think about what you say griffy wiffy 🥺

acrobat : I should have blocked you when I had the chance.

Iheartspace : ??

readallaboutit : I made a deal with griffin he can’t make any remarks or be mean at all today or else he has to be dressed like a clown 🤷

iheartspace : LMAO 💀 he won’t last a day

acrobat : angry angry mean words !!!!

mintisthebest : what.

iheartspace :

mintisthebest : STFU.

iheartspace : .

acrobat : finney ☺️…. get him before I get to him first.

readallaboutit :🤏🏻 this close to losing griffy 🥺

acrobat : .

acrobat : FINE IDC ILL LOSE SHUT YOUR MUSTY ASS UP BILLY AND FINNEY GET BRUCE BEFORE I SHOW UP AT HIS HOUSE

readallaboutit : 😟 well he snapped ig…

mintisthebest : anyways I’m meeting Vance at the park rn wish me luck 🫶🏼

acrobat : wishing you the worse Brucey 🥺/j

mintisthebest : praying downfall on u griffy 🤭

readallaboutit : NAH HOW COME BRUCE GETS TO CALL YOU GRIFFY BUT I CANT ☹️

acrobat :

iheartspace : 💀

mintisthebest : I had to refresh my memory of how pretty Vance is 🤭

iheartspace : I mean yeah he is but like one swing and your over 🤷..

iheartspace : Vance slander 😍

mintisthebest : one more comment and I’m swinging on you finney 🫶🏼🤗

iheartspace : BUT ITS TRUE 😟 YALL PLS BACK ME UP

readallaboutit : nah sorry u on ur own 💀..

Bruce tied his converse and let out a breath he walked out his room passing by his mother waving and telling her bye as he walked out the yamada residence home he stuffs his phone in his back left pocket making his way to the park he looked at his watch for the time 4:27 PM it read he sat down on the faded orangish red bench that was completely worn out from the previous years.

Glancing at his watch and his eyes scanning around the park waiting for the blond to show up Bruce hoped that Vance didn’t stand him up I mean it’s not a date but it’s still wrong as he was about to get up to leave after about 20 minutes Bruce was impatient sometimes

and he lets that get the best of him he sees the curly haired blond approaching him he let out a relived sigh slightly cracking a smile shocked to see something different about Vance he cut his hair ?! mouth wide open Bruce sat there looking at Vance in shock I didn’t look bad but he actually thought that Vance looked even better with his hair cut “What?” Bruce stood up looking at his hair “you cut your hair” Vance stared at Bruce for a minute making Bruce shift uncomfortably “Yeah I uh I got tired of it in my face so I cut it—“ “It looks good.” Vance looked at Bruce in his eyes “really? I thought I wouldn’t look right” “Yeah Really Looks good on you” Bruce Swore he could see a deep shade of blush appear on The blondes face but didn’t say anything “So Where do you wanna go?” “I have a few places in mind” Bruce said as he motioned his hand for Vance to follow him.

pinheadvance

liked by @redrobin and 1,457 others

pinheadvance did two things today chop my hair and hang out with @mintisthebest

Iheartspace : why does Bruce look done with everything 💀

pinheadvance : he was tired so now he’s sleep 🤷

redrobin : Ngl your hair cut is kinda good😟

readallaboutit : i just know when Bruce wakes up he’s gonna spam the gc 😭

View All 246 Comments

𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐞𝐳𝐞𝐫𝐬

5:01 PM

iheartspace : @mintisthebest @mintisthebest @mintisthebest @mintisthebest @mintisthebest

iheartspace : WAKE UP BRUCEY WUCEY 😍

mintisthebest is online !

mintisthebest : he just fell back asleep

acrobat : ..that ain’t Bruce

readallaboutit : VANCE????

mintisthebest : what

iheartspace : DONT SCROLL UP

acrobat : you dumbass now that you said it he might scroll up 😟

mintisthebest : I’m not that’s invading his privacy.

iheartspace : …🤨

iheartspace : nah why isn’t he aggressive what the fuck.

readallaboutit : this is actually scary 🙁

mintisthebest : because I don’t always have to be aggressive plus I want to make a good impression on Bruce (tell him I said that and I’m fighting you)

iheartspace : aw how cute 🥰

acrobat : 🤢 ew never use that emoji ever again.

iheartspace : didn’t you use that emoji earlier???

acrobat : it’s different when I use it

mintisthebest : Bruce is honestly very sweet and funny I don’t wanna scare him away or anything.

acrobat : so what your saying is that you have a soft spot for him ?

mintisthebest : technically..

iheartspace : that’s cute but if you do anything to hurt Bruce I’m going to you house and cut your hair in your sleep.

acrobat : ..

mintisthebest : I’m not

readallaboutit : why can’t we be like that griffy ☹️

acrobat : because 🥱

Iheartspace : he didn’t even say no and he let you call him griffy 💀

acrobat :

iheartspace : 😟 WHAT.

90 notes · View notes

rianafying · 3 months

Text

hello diary i’m back idk what is happening or why i ever feel what i feel, but here goes nothing

i’ve been feeling very creative today, had a terrible morning woke up insanely dehydrated, could barely move, my arthritis and psoriasis had flared up as well, i had to cancel my gig but they’re fine, they had other people on board. i don’t really feel like i missed out because i literally couldn’t have gone and needed to stay home and rehydrate, plus it’s like 37 degrees outside, i’ll stay home thanks. anyway, so i got some much needed rest and i ate and drank loads of water and i feel replenished now and i feel hopeful and creative and i wish i could’ve just started something, a project or whatever. but i have no many chores standing firmly between me and what i actually want to do. will is a terribly difficult thing to conjure. i had a telehealth appointment to get diagnosed w adhd in melbourne so i can access the necessary treatment, but they’re telling me it’ll be at least $800 and at least 4 sessions to just get diagnosed. and that to me is a huge undertaking. i told them ill think about it but what is there to think of, i know fully well i cant afford it. i wish i had an ipad to draw on. ive been wanting to draw something for ages and i could draw on my physical sketch book but i just haven’t? i just cant? its the guilt from all the chores i haven’t done. there’s a proper inspection due in 4 days and i just know it’s going to cripple me with anxiety as the date comes closer. there’s so much stuff that i want to do. and yet i do nothing. i’m not doing even 1% of everything i want to do, because im stuck doing 100% of the things i hate but have to do. when im older, i hope i get permanent residency in australia or any other first world country, i wish i have a safe and permanent place to live, regardless of size or quality. i wish i have someone who can help me with the tasks i struggle with and i can help them with tasks they struggle with and if we both struggle at the same things, we’ll understand each other, we can struggle and learn together. hopefully this will not be a romantic partner because i don’t think my brain is hardwired to deal with matters of the heart in a stable way. i hope that by the time i feel safe, the children of gaza feel safe too. i hope we win. i thought of them when i got dehydrated and worried that ill get a uti, i thought about how much worse they have it. i think of them all the time but especially when im suffering and im reminded that they have it many folds worse. i try to derive hope, strength, and gratitude from that instead of helplessness, and powerlessness.

i haven’t been able to take out the trash and get rid of my dead plants and they’re starting to attract bugs and i really need to do that today, i’ve been saying that everyday, it’ll just take seconds. i also am very close to having $0 in my account because i had to buy some meds and i found some vitamins for half price and decided to buy a whole buttload of them #forhealthiguess also its SO HOT. and im trying to avoid turning on my air conditioner because my electricity bill last month was $140??? like why? it’s a crazy world out here. crazy expensive. for the millionth time, i really should get a real job soon. or try to. i doubt i’ll ever have enough to be independent. i fear i’ll always be at the mercy of my parents. i fear i’ll heal too slow to keep up with the damage.

all day i did nothing. that’s not true, i went grocery shopping and i made meatballs, and spaghetti and it turned out great. the one thing i always cook successfully is any kind of pasta, never fails. i feel 50% guilty for not doing anything important today. such as taking out the trash, cleaning my room, etc. it’s the one thing i hate doing: house chores. makes me wanna scream, cry and throw up. i made a mistake, last night i accidentally left my earphones on the couch at reception downstairs and hadn’t even realised until earlier today when i was leaving the building and saw it on the couch. i feel so relieved that i live in a place where nobody stole it all day. part of me feels like i don’t deserve to live so well. because for nearly a year, i have been living wonderfully, everything’s going so well, and all my demons are inside of my own head. this is new for me. there’s no actual threat, i think. still feels like there is. i’m less overwhelmed than usual, but still pretty overwhelmed. there’s always too many ideas and not enough ability to implement them. how do i feel chaos and clarity simultaneously. i just need a break from this mental torment. i think getting my apartment clean will definitely help with that. but it’s such a big task, even thinking about it makes me fall to my bed and start to rot. suddenly i find that my body won’t move. adhd sounds like it’s so quirky and funny until you’re surrounded with piles of garbage and flying insects and there is a mysterious sticky brown patch underneath the fridge that just will not move. until there’s no space to walk from one end of the room to the other without stepping on and crushing things underneath my feet. it feels as if my brain has acquired an endless supply of shame and guilt. i will probably not feel focused until my room is actually clean. clean enough to be inspected. clean enough to maybe even have visitors. i get anxious just thinking about the prospect.

#personal #journal entry

6 notes · View notes

tfyouthinkiam505 · 2 months

Text

i feel disgusting and violated

i live with my friend who i refer to as my roommate

and his dad who i refer to as my landlord (since obvi its his house)

normally i wear socks more often than not, especially around other people. for the same reason i dont like wearing shorts and prefer pants or wear hoodies rather than shirts or short sleeved shirts. i just dont like people seeing my body and i also dont like seeing my body

while living here, i found out my friend has a foot fetish

which is whatever, weird but you do you

n then i found out hed fantasized about my feet before

which made me even more hesitant about not wearing socks around the house

but hes my best friend so i trusted him enough to not sexualize my feet 24/7 when im not wearing socks (which took a while cause again, i dont like not wearing socks in front of people in general and try my best to always wear socks)

but lately, hes been getting annoyed at me for doing normal shit that id usually do when not wearing socks as well as normal shit id do when wearing socks but wouldnt have socks on while doing them. and he keeps accusing me of doing them as an attempt to tease him or seduce him or whatever. which, , , before hand, he felt bad that i never took my socks off cause he believed i did it cause i thought he was a creep and would sexualize them and thought i didnt trust him or whatever. so i wouldnt wear my socks as often cause i didnt want him to think that way

but now, when im not wearing socks, he yells at me and calls me gross and weird and accuses me of using them against him or whatever when im just doing normal shit like propping my feet up on a surface or using them to grab something that i cant reach with my hands/too lazy to grab with my hands or using them to move something. he says it makes him uncomfortable

but its just a normal body part. so why would it make him uncomfortable unless he only ever views my feet as something sexual. like how men view a womens tits as something sexual, making it socially unacceptable and weird or gross for them to walk around shirtless while its perfectly fine for men to do it

which makes me feel gross cause i trusted him enough to NOT sexualize me when im trying to be more open and comfortable in my environment and do things that normally id only ever do when im alone or with someone i trust alot like a partner or a really close friend or a close family member

and to make things worse, today he told me that he had looked through his dads computer at some point and found foot fetish stuff on there. he told me this after hed yelled at me for having my feet propped up on his bed while not wearing socks

i have bad history with older men sexualizing me n flirting with me n abusing me from a young age and ive been scared of them and avoidant of them since. its one of the reasons id locked myself away in my house for months and refused to leave cause i was sick of and scared of old men sexualizing me and flirting with me. so moving in here and living with my friend and his dad, ive always been very hesitant around his dad and try to avoid him. but as i got more comfortable living here, i started being out and about the house more, which means being around his dad more. which also means being around his dad more while not wearing socks

and now that i know his dad has a foot fetish

i feel so anxious that i wanna throw up. cause im terrified of the thought that his dad might be getting off to my feet in the privacy of his room or thinking about them and/or me in a sexual manner

i feel disgusting and violated

i relapsed and cut up my feet with my razor last night.

my friend and i also got into a fight over the whole foot thing and him sexualizing them cause hes just doing the exact thing he told me i wouldn't have to worry about him doing beforehand and that i should trust him to not do

and even tho i kept trying to tell him that me doing normal shit with my feet that i do whether hes around or not or whether i have socks on or not has nothing to do with him and his stupid fetish, he kept accusing me of doing them to taunt him and/or make fun of him for having that fetish

so i ended up relapsing a second time last night

i hate being sexualized

it disgusts me

i wish i could destroy my body enough to the point where no one could ever find me sexually attractive unless they actually love me and care about me for me and not just for my body

i dont wanna be here anymore. i tried so hard to feel safe and comfortable here

and now i just wanna leave

i wanna leave and lock myself away again so no one can ever see me

i hate this

im just never allowed to feel safe around anyone

everytime i do, something always happens to fuck up my trust

i wish i was dead

3 notes · View notes

nerdygaymormon · 10 months

Note

Im keeping this on anon because I-I... Well, you'll see.

I've been working on my issues for a while; getting diagnosed properly, working through trauma, and being kinder to myself. And I just... Discovered a huge issue with how I was raised regarding sex.

I was raised Mormon and raised to be sexy but sexless. I had to conform to male ideals of how a woman should look, which was sexy, but if I ever implied anything but being a stalwart virgin I'd be shamed... Or worse.

This has led to two horrific things in my life:

The first one is that I realized I've been fantasizing about being raped since I started puberty as a young child, that being the only 'acceptable' way to have sex without being damned. Ive had a high libido my whole puberty and post puberty life, but no one ever taught me how to care for those urges. Ever. And its intensely horrific that a young child would yearn for sexual violence.

The second is when my parents caught me looking at pornography. It wasnt even porn, it was erotic content, but it was enough they took *every* possible device in my name, cutting off every avenue of communication, and confined me to the house for weeks and started talking about forcing me into rehab for my 'addiction'. The truth was I had absolutely no way to manage my high libido and no one that would help, so I turned to the thing I thought I could hide. I had to essentially escape to the neighbors, claim abuse, and then after months of consulting with my psychiatrist, a psychologist, and two bishops my parents stopped controlling my life (and instead are trying to 'good advice' me into controlling my life anyways)

Over mild erotic imagery.

I already know I need to leave the house and make my parents as minimally involved in my life as possible, and I'm also going to have to wipe my records from the Church to keep them from trying to stalk me. While theyve let me have control, theyre always breathing down my neck and trying to 'drag me back' into the Church... When it was the Church that caused all of these problems in the first place. This is severe sexual and religious trauma and I know I need to leave, but I cant drive, I cant afford a place to live, and if I wipe my records now my parents will get far worse.

Its okay if you don't answer this ask, a-and if youre willing to talk to me in private refer to me as the Barbie Anon and I'll reveal myself, but I need help. Where can I go?

I'm sorry you're going through such a hard time. You're in a tough situation.

I'm not an expert on available resources beyond some national help lines for things like suicide. Actual resources are usually available through your state or city, or from local non-profits. You could try contacting The Trevor Project and asking one of their counselors if they could point you towards resources that could help you leave your home. If you're in Utah, perhaps you could contact the Encircle House near you and see what they can suggest.

I know when it feels like you're stuck in a situation you can't get out of, it feels like this will never end. Please know that life gets better. As we get older, get a job, go to college, go to counseling, get some benefits & assistance, and so on, we get more control over our life and we get to make changes.

Good luck! Wishing you the best!

10 notes · View notes

acreaturecalledgreed · 2 years

Text

@sweatandwoe

wheezes softly okay so monstery silco au thoughts

idk if i have a name for this au or not yet but i have a lot of loose scrambled ideas and Vibes and various atmospheric scenes floating in my head

ive no idea if any of this is quality and all i know about league lore is what i can glean from wikis and one very enthustiastic infodumping friend

i also just, really like subtle monster shit. this person is a monster but oh, they could so easily be human.

ahhh this is all just very. slapped togethor thoughts its not super coherent apologies

so bare with me

im rly fascinated with tahm kench and i know im not the only one and i see a Lot of ppl who like to associate him with silco in some way- wether silco worships him, made a deal with him, whatever, a lot ppl seem to like playing with the idea and theyre valid

to my understanding tahm kench isnt exactly limited in what he can appear as- of course theres the squat and charming catfishalligator man in his jaunty little hat but to my understanding he can take on other appareances? idk i recall reading this but i cant recall where to save my life so like for the sake of this au we’ll just assume he Can appear human if he wants to

we also know like nothing about silco’s childhood etc so im playing fast and loose

im never sure if im of the opinion that silco had shit parents or parents who tried their best but honestly its likely a little of column a a little of column b and im rambling too much and need to get to the point

in the context of this au sil’s mom had a mysterious but charming paramour who often made her promises of wealth and good fortune and one day he just sort of vanished from her life but not without leaving her pregnant

she successfully passed off the baby as her husband's by the sheer fortune that said baby seemed to resemble her and not her paramour in the least

paramour was, obvs a this point, tahm kench

my reasoning why for he did this in the first place is mostly that hes just fucking around for shiggles- theres other reasons but im a bit scatterbrained at the moment and words to explain are not coming to me so great

silco is largely the same as he is in canon- he’s not visibly inhuman in any way, and he doesnt act much different at all. though, i suppose, in the right light, teeth can look unnaturally sharp, eyes too solidly dark like nothing human should have, etc

but he’s prone to disassociative states and cravings for Meat ideally Very Fresh and Possibly Alive Meat and they’re worse when he’s in compromised emotional or physical states

his father left/died/whatever early on leaving him largely in the care of just his mother and while she did her best rumors inevitably spread of her weirdass half feral kid, his ill temper, his strange disposition, and the massive amount of meat he seems to require

stories that he was slowly eating her out of house and home

stories that he wouldnt stop even if the only flesh she had to provide was her own

eventually, she too was gone

i dont think sil actually hurt her or attacked her in any way, but one day it was just silco, alone, with no one else, and the rumor mill churns and youve got stories about some scrawny monster that killed and ate his own mother

he and vander do end up friends as in canon, i dont doubt b/c vander took pity on this weird guy with a bad, bad reputation but a relatively skittish (if bitey, hah) personality

like i said a lot of this au is just sort of various scenes playing out in my head- sil ends up attacking people occasionally and its a bloody fucking mess every time

hes a conniving, sneaky little schemer and any outright deals anyone makes with him always seem to fall in his favour

he has his skills, and he’s useful, and in his own way he’s a loving and devoted friend

he is still the deeply driven revolutionary we have in canon- he loves his home and his people but he’s harsh and not afraid to spill blood

the drowning incident occurs more or less the same but vander comes out of it with a lot more than just his arm wound- silco bites, and as it turns out under life or death circumstances he can be a lot less human than he’s always seemed

i dont think he knows he’s tahm kench’s offspring until the drowning incident, having some kind of “conversation” hallucination with the river king while under and learning of his parentage

ironically the shimmer he takes for his eye is a blessing- shimmer works as an appetite suppressant and as he gets older there are way, way less incidents

jinx knows her dad is weird and so does everyone working under him but for the most part its not a problem, yes the boss is fucking scary they all know this its nothing new

i think shit gets Real odd tho post-death

im not sure silco can be properly killed, not in a way that sticks right

his body gets dumped in the river and that should be the end of it, but i think perhaps there are strange sightings for years to come, mysterious disappearances of people who wander the shores alone

im playing with this ball of idea clay and having great fun with it, others can play too if they wanna

#arcane silco #silco arcane #silco #shrUGS LOUDLY??#idk its been a long time since i shared ideas openly with fandom and for whatever reason its got me crazy nervous

22 notes · View notes