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#but its more fun when u guys ask for it!
simplydnp · 2 months
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I get the sense that Phil just likes to make “”weird”” stuff and has somewhat dialed back his weirdness due to his popularity and age. But I would love to see what an unfiltered 30 year old phil Lester video would look like. What stories does he want to tell? How does he want to tell those stories?
honestly i think phil is really good at playing out whatever his brain is thinking at the time. i think a lot of people struggle with ideas because they'll be seen as too 'weird' or 'strange' or even 'impossible', and what's neat about phil is he either doesn't have those boxes, or he's able to push through them in pursuit of creating the thing to its full potential. people describe him as creative, which he is, but i think it leaves out some of his best attributes as a creator. he's inventive--remember the countless trends and challenges that came from him that have swept the internet? he's fearless--and this doesnt mean that he's not afraid of anything (for phil its probably the opposite actually) but he does things despite the fear, regardless of the unknown. he's a relentless and passionate creator who likes to make things and values seeing them through to the end. but he's not naive either--he and dan have talked about each other being their harshest critics. it's not just that he's an ideas guy, he's a good ideas guy who knows how to make something flourish.
i don't think current phil is sitting in a box waiting for his chance to break free of his popularity. he could've stopped years ago, similar to dan, if he didn't want this. but he likes doing it. he gets to have his choice on which of his ideas turn into projects, without having the stress of Needing a brilliant idea and execution every week. right now i think a lot of his energy is focused on the gaming channel. as he's expressed to us a few times, it was him who really wanted it back, and he's been ready for a long time. dan's even admitted that he's been enjoying it, and i think a lot of that comes down to phil's creative directing. he loves the gaming channel and is so thrilled it's back--his own content has taken a step back in terms of upload regularity, and i genuinely don't think he could be happier about it.
i would love a big phil project, but i honestly don't see him doing a tour of his own unless he brings dan with him, and then why not have it be something they can do together? does that make sense? that seems to be his thought process about things. it's why i've suggested taskmaster cause it's a local thing that wouldn't keep him from home for a long while, but he does get to flex his creativity, intelligence, and humour.
i'm looking forward to anything phil does. his current project seems to be making dan happy and they're both having a lot of fun doing that
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comradekatara · 2 years
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may i humbly request modern!gaang and being asked to write a piece of creative fiction for school? what would they write about? would they enjoy it? would it be any good? if anyone knows, it's you!
okay for the sake of limiting my potential scope i'm just gonna say that they all had to write a short story in prose for this hypothetical assignment (esp because i've already talked about them writing poetry and miscellaneous forms).
aang pens a very lovely and whimsical tale about a boy who goes exploring in a sunny wood and comes across various talking animals who say funny, charming, and sometimes deeply profound things about the nature of the world. think le petit prince meets winnie the pooh. it is a delightful read, but unfortunately his teacher thought it "needed more conflict." lame.
katara writes about a brave and valiant knight who goes off to slay a dragon to bring its head back as a trophy for his king, only to learn that the dragon was really just minding her own business, leading him to question everything he thought he knew about the monarchy, and ultimately beheading the king instead. her teacher deemed it "intriguing, but slightly concerning." (again, lame!!)
sokka writes a dark comedy about a horrible pathetic man who makes everyone around him miserable including himself because he refuses to adjust his insane principles even when presented with tangible evidence that contradicts his beliefs. at one point he commits a murder and gets away with it, leading his peers to argue that this character "needed to be punished more" by the narrative. sokka's just like "thanks... i'll keep that in mind."
toph writes a story about a girl who escapes a totalitarian society and goes to start an anarchist commune in the woods with other refugees. the fact that there are no rules and everyone does what they want is epic and she doesn't miss her old life at all even a little bit and they all live happily ever after the end. her teacher claims that "while her writing style is direct and incisive, the story ultimately lacks nuance."
zuko pens a tragic fairytale about an empress who loses all her children to various causes, and ultimately kills herself. the style is very poetic and beautiful, but the story itself is so unbelievably sad that his teacher is prompted to ask "what was the point of this" and also "do you need help i can recommend a good therapist if you need one"
suki writes a story about a lesbian pirate who starts an affair with a bisexual tavernkeeper who is cheating on her shitty husband right under his nose. one day the husband finds out and gets violent so they kill them and serve chunks of his flesh to stray alley cats. her friends really enjoy this story, but her teacher doesn't understand "why everything suki writes needs to have such an agenda."
mai writes a story about ghosts throughout time occupying a single house together, haunting each other, every temporality overlapping in a cacophony of grief. while coherent, it is very dense, and most of her classmates don't bother actually unpacking it, so they mostly just complain about the non-linear timeline being "too confusing." (lame of them!) her teacher loves it though.
ty lee writes a series of diary entries from the perspective of a teenage girl. at first she's just talking about stereotypical teenage girl stuff, like the boy she likes and the mean things her friends said at the mall, but then at some point the narrator begins to realize that she is in a story, and her diary entries get more introspective and frantic and meta as she is ultimately crushed under the weight of her own narrative. her teacher deems it "brilliant" and suggests submitting it to literary magazines for publication, to which ty lee responds "haha no thanks ^_^"
azula writes about an ubermensch who is able to valiantly resist the liberal indoctrination of the pathetic sjws who are triggered by his inner strength and sharp intelligence. it reads almost identically to sokka's story (except with a vastly different prose style), but unlike sokka's, it is completely sincere and not remotely a satire. unfortunate.
yue writes a story from the perspective of an electron that doesn't know that its entangled but can sometimes still feel that it is connected to something else across the universe when it spins. it is a brilliant, poignant story about star crossed love and the significance of relationality across the cosmos, that neither her teacher nor most of her peers understand because "it all sounds too sciencey."
jet writes a story about a "really cool" alpha male whose girlfriend unfairly dumps him after their wannabe sigma male acquaintance who was jealous of him because he loved his girlfriend gets him cancelled for having said faggot on twitter once 10 years ago, but it turns out said guy who steals his girlfriend is actually a terrible person who treats women like shit despite posturing as a feminist for clout. sokka reads it and is like "wow, this would actually be a really incisive critique of performative male allyship and how any kind of man can be equally toxic and entitled to the women in their lives... if not for the fact that it is CLEARLY ABOUT ME and JET SEEMS TO THINK THAT I TOLD KATARA TO DUMP HIM BECAUSE I WAS SECRETLY IN LOVE WITH MY SISTER??????"
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thatdeadaquarius · 1 year
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100 Followers Poll Closed! Results Are IN BOYS!!! >:)
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DRUMROLLLLLL 🥁🥁🥁
✨️PADUM TSSSS- ✨️
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THE WINNERS ARE:
FANFIC ONE SHOT:
YOUR BLUNT LANGUAGE 😑 VS. FANCY TEYVAT 🥊
HEADCANONS/IDEAS:
SP👀KY TIME - YOU CAN POSSESS GENSHIN CHARACTERS NOW?! 👻
🥳🥳🥳
Thank You Particpating, THIS WAS FUN AND ITS GREAT TO SEE WHAT U GUYS RESPONS TO!! I LOVE GETTING FEEDBACK FROM YALL ALWAYS <3
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(Also it is unclear whether or not I will write the losers some day soon, but its still definitely interesting enough to write about, dw ppl who voted for those options :] )
10/10 GREAT BIRTHDAY GIFT GUYS, AND THANK YOU SO MUCH AGAIN TO ALL MY BELOVED PPL WHO WISHED ME HAPPY BIRTHDAY ♡
CHEERS! 🍻
🌒🌧🌊AQUARIUS :D♒️🌌🌘
♡the BELOVEDS♡
@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza
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fourteenthz · 3 months
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Changes for wip roundup? 👀
anna!! sorry for taking so long answering this one as well!! but thank you SO MUCH for indulging my wolcred propaganda! <3
And lright this one is a MESS. I wrote it right when I was playing endwalker and I was really overwhelmed with the story™ that I made  mess of this wip so like for the last few months or so I’ve been working on rewriting everything lol so I’ll give you some of my thoughts abt it and a small snippet since I can’t get anything more substantial that I’m satisfied with lol
wip roundup :)
This fic is like following right after the scions are back from the moon. I was overwhelmed with the fact that the WOL didn’t have much saying with the twins and how Fourchenault reacted to them. I was like, yeah, she’s proud of them. They deserve to know that, but also, I’m not sure she would be brave enough to do so. So well this fic starts with me realizing like “alright, thancred would get it. better than anyone” so the first part follows him seeing how she reacts to everything that’s happening with the WOL and making the connections like how he felt about ryne, etc etc
But of course,,, my excuse for this fic was Thesa’s haircut first and foremost. Basically I hc Azem to have insane long hair, and Thesa always had longer hair, and this is like the first time she cut it out and it’s incredibly short. Basically the second part goes from her having a bit of breakdown seeing the moon burning + overthinking about that image of hythlo she saw on the moon and everything that happened there and going “I need new. The final days can’t happen again, things gotta change NOW.” Until she interrupts my Alisaie like knocking on the door which is like the cannon visiting for her during that quest!!
And ofc Alie changes her mind a bit… but she still gets that feeling so this is SO SPECIFIC but like you know the whole “wrapping the red thing around your thinger so you don’t forget?” She does it with a strand of hair, just a reminder (things he has lost etc etc) and chops everything off. But then, ofc, the beginning alone isn’t enough for me so the last part is Thancred’s reaction to it, since I like to think they spend their nights together whenever they can and they DEFINITELY would want to on this one night. There is a bit of that part before any rewriting lol:
A knock on door cut off any other conclusion that Thesa would have come with. She hadn't heard footsteps down the hallway, and the beat was too light to be anyone else — though she doubted many others besides Alisaie would be awake and willing to visit after a day like this. So she calls his name lightly as she walks to the door, and from the suppressed laugh, she was sure.
“It's me.” Thancred’s voice is softer beyond the closed door. She finally quickened her pace to unlock it when he laughed again. “I hope you didn't have to crawl under the covers to-”
From the look he had on his eyes, Thancred seemed to have specific intentions for the visit. However, as soon as she appeared from behind the door and their eyes finally met, the hyur could have sworn that all the thoughts he had — along with all the rehearsed words he had cooked up - slipped his mind.
Thesa freezes for a second too, unsure how to react. Maybe she would explain later, but for some reason, she waited for his reaction to continue.
Thancred seemed entranced for a second as a smile seemed to bump into his face, and then, he made the greatest effort to move; forcing his hand up until he finally reached the messy strands. His right hand stops to her left side, with his thumb behind his ear so he could feel each of the threads between his fingers — clenching his fist to lightly pull them and feel them falling off before repeating the same thing but resting his palm next to her face.
“By the twelve.” He says in a sigh, slightly embarrassed to clearly see the situation they were in as his left hand reached for the longer loose strand and curled it around his fingers before resting his hand on the side of her face, cupping her cheeks, and finally confessing, exactly, the same conclusion of hers. “Perfect.”
He looked at her with different eyes than First and even more different than Walking Sands. Eyes that stretched far farther than he had previously seen — and yet, without missing all the admiration and affection he had always carried. Maybe slightly more, even.
"For a second I didn't recognize you," he smiled, tugging lightly on the strand with a teasing smile, which soon turned into a relieved sigh when he tilted his head to the side, finally meeting her eyes again. "But there she is."
#it just feels ooc for some of them and I don't like how I did some of the exposition so yeah rewriting it. I just need to get in the right#headspace to finish it lol those more canon ones makes me anxious to finish for NO REASON other than my girl deserves the best. so yeah.#ALSO fun fact I feel like I need to share: this fic is only something bc I was frantically doodling on my sketchbook after finishing that#quest. i have the date here lol 3/3/22 (not that long ago ik) but yeah i end up with thumbnail for this little comic#with a BUNCH of notes around it. its kinda overly angsty bc i was feeling like thag at the time bc HYTHLO's “Don't you agree hades?” OR WTV#the notes summarizes to 'but then it does not matter if you hair feels lighter because you have their images engraved in#your mind and you do not have the strength to cut those off so all you do is ask /what now/ but haven't you learned? images can't talk'#and the progression of the coming is her cutting her head and the panels kinda move like a camera to finalize focusing on her back staring#at a mirror reflection the image of emet (black robs + hole in his chest) and the image of hythlo she has for now (from the moon cutscene)#so yeah...... maybe it all started with my hythazemet brainrot and then the fic was too much on alisaie and thancred so i had trouble#idk findinh middle ground with what I wanted ?? but yeah... I'm someday finish rewriting it THIS IS NOT my best exposure of my wolcred work#u guys I'm gonna be honest.... but it's mostly bc i love writinh them being sooo independent so it makes sense when i play and i forget#they are important to my cannon for her lol xiv is just so love coded. all the kinds of love. and i love them all so much its A LOT BUT YEAH#ill stop rambling now LMFAO sorry for this anna but yeah this is my excuse to why thesa will never have 100% short hair#I'll always pick the short + braids hair which is why: 1. im happy the pvp hair is available for viera now and 2. im SO HAPPY with the new#7.0 hairs... there's one there that OOOOH BOY... I WANT THAT. if it fits her it's giving dawntrail :) if it doesn't welp pvp hair it is#but again YEAH THATS IT SORRY FOR TAKING EXTRA LONG I was going through like 3 sketchbooks back to search for this sketch comic lmao#and also... writing this whole essay why can i never be concise man... ANYWAH KDJFJDJDJD TY AGAIN ANNA!!#I'm always here for wolcred on wolcred action ❤️#ask game#ask#kelly says#my writing#myreia
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cannibaltranssexual · 5 months
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avoiding the obvious one and saying: walks! and delightful finds that you encounter. always nice to see you sharing a bone fragment, a berry bush, bugs, or flowers that you saw on your walks in the server :))
WAAAH OMG YEAHH 🫶🫶🫶🫶 tyyyyy
forreal tho just being out in nature is so so important to me. and i have to tell everybdoy about it. did you know theres so many guys out there !!!
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lcpmon · 10 months
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idk how other ppl learn to read characters but even when someone has very few lines, if they're not a few throwaway lines and have a smidgen of thought put into them, you can really deduct a lot of things from what they say without mountains of dialogue and array of actions they take.
cIaus, even Iucas via his few lines and interactive dialogue, is so easy to understand and learn what hes about from the dialogue you are given. it shouldnt be hard to mess him up
and even tho these are more active characters in the story with goals to achieve and story beats to hit, u rly can apply the same to lngo and 3mmet. u can make assumptions or deduct possible aspects about how they act from breaking down their dialogue and possible routine. some things might be completely speculative and pulled out of thin air but as long as it matches the characters general front its hard to go wrong
#gilly speaks#fanon can have some fun in it and sometimes its where most of ur source material might come from bc theyre not important npcs but#its important to review how they actually act if u wanna create something semi faithful#im not 100% faithful but i think about these things alot#ie i like opposites in how they present themselves vs how they actually are#lngo being viewed as always responsible whilst actually being a bit reckless <- i dont take p0kemas as canon but their event lit#proves this when he wants to get straight into action in the tunnels whilst 3mmet reigns him back in with a reminder about asking#and vice versa when 3mmet takes safety way more seriously than lngo even tho its something they both care for#i have many thoughts abt them#always and forever#another part of my not 100% faithful adaptions is taking their inaction during all bw events#u could say they had to protect the subway and its ppl but honestly...........#they could have taken a stand against ghets1s with the league#the workers are no pushovers they could have handled themselves were anything to happen in n1mbasa#so i see that as them actively protecting the subway and one another above a larger threat in hopes theyd be left alone and that someone#would deal w that problem even if it ends up being a young teenager </3#theyre just normal guys. literally standard guys who dont want to be caught up in world saving shenanigans.#theyre both justice oriented when its to do with the subway directly#otherwise its just not their problem. theyre just some guys!!!!#ignore the strength they wield dw abt it#sorry i cannot be normal abt them theyre very dear to me and them being complex instead of amazing and good guys is so much more fun#theyre not bad!! they barely scrape morally grey bc they ultimately want to do good but sometimes theyre willing to turn a blind eye to#bigger problems in order to protect whats important to them
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coquelicoq · 2 years
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very delightful to follow you postings on the count of monte christo. but what is this about parts of the novel being cut in the translation?
je suis contente que tu les apprecies, comme ce n'est que grâce à toi que je possède cet exemplaire! mille mercis de me l'avoir envoyé <3
the version that i originally read as a kid (and then reread last year) is not just an english translation but also an abridgment: the lowell bair 1956 translation, which is about 950 pages shorter than the french original. even though english versions of french works are generally shorter because of syntax, word length, and general literary conventions, that only accounts for a little bit of the page discrepancy here lol.
dumas tends to rephrase the same thing several times, so a lot of the abridging is just condensing that stuff down to a single sentence. but on top of that, several sideplots also had to go, malheuresement. well, heureusement in some cases (i was bored to near tears by the lengthy description of hashish), but it also means that he cut out an entire chapter between villefort and his dad 😢 and removed pretty much everything that makes franz an interesting character. but c'est la vie when you're abridging! something's gotta go. getting rid of franz's adventures did allow him to cut like 100 pages in one fell swoop, which i can see the appeal of when you're trying to shorten 1400 pages to a third of that length.
there's no excuse for cutting the villefort-noirtier chapter though. i'm never getting over that.
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caruliaa · 2 years
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the worst part abt tumblr is sometimes ur mutuals will start just postinf stuff that u feel is like. idk you personally feeel kinda rly off abt it but u have no idea if tgats reasonable or not so ur like well it would be weird nd potentally kinda dickish to try to tell them but also if it was just someone u followed ud prob unfollow then but nit only are they a mutual they r a friend mutual so ur not doing that but also u have no idea of this is like. smth showing a difference between u nd this person that might potentially fuck up ur friendship later on or manybe its literally just memes and jokes and/or they didnt think abt it that much and your just being weird and sensetive by caring abt it at all. and u dont know what to do abt it so u usually just vaugpost abt it. which is what im doing now
#i feel so like dumb like i literally feel so dumb. omg i feel so dunb#like bc i am being so dumb !!! omg#just like. idk maybe making fun of panic attacks and acting like someone is dumb for not wanting to watch smth w homophobic slurs in it#(NOT that a protag of a show were the point is the character arent all good ppl saying it just in regards to ppl not want to deal w#homophobia in the media they consume when its already smth they have to deal w irl)#kinda doesnt feel worth it to me to make fun of what is for the most part. a guy u made up.#like im sure ppl like that do exist but the post in talking abt literally talked abt it like a hypothetical type thing yk#but also i get that they mutual rbing and prob the op didnt like. mean any harm at all or anything like that like.#they prob just meant it as a funny meme thing or whatever infact they almost definatly did#im just like. being senetive and dumb abt this for no reason !!!#idk i think the problem is is that im just like. a lot more upset by being mean and making fun of ppl than others are#and i dont mean that in a im better than others way i meancthat like. as a dig to myself#bc im sure id be a much cooler+funner person to be friends w if i wasnt like this#but for some reasonn i am just a sensetive weirdo !!!! ell ohh ell#anywayy i slept fucking atroicusly late night im running on 3 hours sleep and i cant get abt to sleep#bur ill try so basically dont takevthis as me Being Online and also#consuder my sleep deprivation in everythig i am saying here i cld wake up from a nap and be like ehy tf did i say that#but also i kinda felt this way b4 i was sleep deprived so like. thatll prob still happen but itll b more like#why tf did i post that and/or why was i being so dramatic online#also i capatlized Being Online to say like. being active and present and answering asks and messages type deal#but it made me realsie that like. idk i hate how whenver i say shit like this a lot of ppl wld take it as me being overly online or whateve#when like. this is equivelant to hanging out with a group of ppl irl and a friend laughs at a joke that makes u uncomfy#its not some weird exculsivley online issue#that also annoyed me abt smth else that happened earlier this year like no i do not have a ‘’’’parasocial relationship’’’’’ w u#u r my bffs new friend who i dont like i am engaging in a teenage girl right of passage or being petty and worrying ur stealing me bestie#get it right !!!#okay i think i am talking too much ant bullshit#also to calrify i no longer feel that way abt that person those last few tags were abt it have been resolved#flappy rambles#also somw of my tags were eatn but im goin 2 sleep sorry for bein a creep a weirdo wat tha hell am i doin here……
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jrueships · 2 years
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thots on jimmy and tyler herro??? jimmy is obsessed with that weird white boy
tyler herro is so fucking fuck fugly and i cannot CANNOT get behind him (both literally and figuratively) or i will DISintergrate and everything he does against ME and MY teams should be registered OFFENSES !!!!!!!
but i let him live because he is keldon's boyfriend. Who is also .. Jimmy's boyfriend 😭 but jimmy is NOT keldon's boyfriend!!!!!!!! let's make that VERY clear ‼️
in all seriousness tho... i think he is ugly NOno im kidding i mean . im not 😐 but i am 🧍🏿. BUT FRFR i think the jimmy tyler dynamic is VERY interesting in the way that all it took to take down commitment fearing sexy mink butler was one white boy goated with the sauce (and not even rlly ... jimmy just deludes himself that Tyler is an ethereal being. He lukafies him. And for what reason???? Tyler does the bare minimum and suddenly he's got Jimmy humping his arm shouting glory to the gods above like LEAVE THIS MAN ALONE???? you could literally find another one who looks and acts exactly the same buying a hot pickel at a gas station. Why is Tyler the chosen one..) it's very interesting to see the pickiest man in the world desire a salt lick for dinner. When bam is RIGHT there ?!??? it's INSANE !!! .... it's Jimmy. i'm afraid..
#OF COURSE im sure tyler has more personality but because im an uncarer i do not decide to delve into it LOL#BUT that DOESNT mean i hate the ship in fact i LIKE it ! and its dynamics! it's VERY interesting#im willing to hear more abt it ! i just wouldnt create content for it myself AND THATS OK! some people 4get u can just enjoy things#without actively taking a part in it#and when i call tyler ugly i dont rlly mean it hes rlly not that bad 😭 when i call millionaires ugly it's bcs theyre millionaires#and they dont fall over dying all bcs tumblrman ted thinks they get no pusspuss. they get pusspuss!!#thoughts back to tyler tho i think hes honestly more toleratable oh i did Not spell that right but anyways#than jimmy TBH i think jimmy puts him not exactly on a pedestal but definitely a microscope for every observation possible#i think.. hm. if u get into deeper thought it's a Little idk irky behaviour but idk ive just never been a fan of giving 'white boys swag'#4 like the most mundane shit like can people just people??? bcs it can create those that seek out shit thru stretched acting BUT AGAIN#BUT THATS A WHOLE OTHER THING n i dont have the profoundness to discuss it justice#SO IN CONCLUSION... a guy like jimmy being fascinated by a guy named tyler is very funny to me#and i would have a lot of fun reading more abt it from a person who knows more abt the relationship!#'that weird white boy' LMFAO#tyler is honestly cool in my book until he starts shooting threes. then he is The Enemy and i Hates him 4ever .#ted asks#jimmy
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nomaishuttle · 8 months
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Tbh since im gonna have alot of extra spending money soon i might just buy library of souls and donate it....
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thatone-highlighter · 9 months
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how did you get the name duck anyways?
I hate(medium) this question but i also think its kinda funny
Its more or less a long series of doing things on a whim.
Im generally very reluctant to spend my own money but on this one random occasion i decided i wanted to buy a rubber bath duck, just for fun. And it was cool, then a few days later while i was watching my mum play Minecraft (something i did often) i wanted to make my little duck be fancy, so i started cutting and taping some paper and i made my duck a little jacket, bowtie, and tophat, thus duck-in-a-suit.
A week or two after that i was making my discord account and i couldn’t decide on a username, and on a whim again remembered my little ducky and named my account after it and made my pfp a pic of it too. So when i joined a server and started talking to people obviously it got shortened and it just kinda stuck and it became the name i used in other placed even if the username didn’t match. I just got attached to it, i even have a few irl friends who call me Duck and its cool.
Theres also a part in the middle where in True Duck Style i committed very hard to the bit and started collecting rubber ducks, i had so many rubber ducks and i still do have heaps. I also had a ‚bit‘ for a few weeks where i would keep a duck in my jacket pocket and pull it out mid conversation and hood it up inbetween the people talking without drawing attention and see how long it took people to notice.
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toastsnaffler · 10 months
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nvm im too tired and overstimulated for this shit
#.vent#i only slept a couple hours last night man. i cant do short notice evening socials on an empty tank let alone resist unexpected rsd#if they had let me know earlier then i wouldve taken a nap and worked out beforehand to get my energy back up#idk just. if u rly want my company then maybe u should actually invite me next time. its not like they didnt plan it#even if they just forgot its not particularly pleasant to be the one person insignificant enough to forget abt. theres only 5 of us#they rly remembered to ask the one guy who isnt even here before me yknow. ugh u see the stupid thoughts i have to battle!!#like on a rational level ik it was probably genuinely accidental. but the way i instinctively react is not always rational#so regardless someone has to deal with the emotional fallout and thats me. regulating this shit is hard work even when im NOT tired asf#i really really dont want to be an asshole and spoil anyones fun bc its no-ones fault + as real as it feels to me rn ik im overreacting#but i cant voluntarily expose myself to personal triggers when im already exhausted + more vulnerable than usual#so just gotta shut myself in my room and deal with it in my own super healthy ways as per usual. may they never fucking find out#trying my best not to be an asshole i hope to fucking god they dont think im being an asshole i just told them i was tired + i meant it#this wouldnt be so much of a problem if it hadnt happened to me before. and also ik its bc one rsd trigger makes me more sensitive-#to picking up unrelated cues but there ARE other things they do that i find ostracising which rly dont fucking help. but-#theyre not things i can actually confront them abt so usually i just gotta deal w it which is fine but it lowers my general tolerance#its ok. its ok i like them all a lot theyre lovely ppl and it doesnt matter if there is a some grain of truth in the things im thinking#bc the risk of me believing + acting on a bad faith irrational thought leads to outcomes that are far worse than those from#misidentifying someones malicious behaviour towards me as neutral by accident/in good faith. okay im done now i think#just ignore me spewing out the old brain gunk on main again eurgh anyway im gonna go calm myself and read and SLEEP#ill be normal by tomorrow morning farewell comrades#honestly i dont mind dealing w shit this way bc its the best option for everyone but man. sometimes its so fucking lonely#like there are sides of me ppl will never engage with and for good reason but without them being acknowledged i find it rly hard to feel-#any real emotional intimacy or closeness with another person. but what other option is there#i sure as hell dont miss the fights i used to constantly get into when i wasnt able to regulate myself i lost so many friends that way#it is what it is. on we go for now
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saetoru · 7 months
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Tee…
I’m now on my hands and knees BEGGING for bully Gojo who is (secretly) DISGUSTINGLY IN LOVE over the reader PLEASE ANY CRUMBS I WILL TAKE
(you don’t actually have to write this it was just a nice thought)
idkkkkk if it’s rly bully gojo—but he’s definitely a real cunt for sure.
i just think about an asshole! gojo a lot like he’s ur lab partners or something and he does that stereotypical jerk move where he’s like “seriously ?? her ??” when he’s first paired with you. and he’s just naturally an douche, yk ?? wears sunglasses indoors and makes jokes at the professors expense under his breath that gets him snickers and snorts from his frat guys in his class. has to be asked more than once to “please keep it down in the middle of class” by wtv prof he’s in class with.
and he ofc makes u do all the work bc he can’t be bothered—and on the rare occasion that he is bothered, he just does a poor job that’s the bare minimum and sloppy enough that ur like wtv i’ll just do it myself. and then ofc sometimes u don’t have a choice but to meet up to finish something after class every now and then—he wouldn’t care to, but he actually needs to know the stuff for the final report he has to write individually, so he begrudgingly meets up with you, and sometimes you notice his friends give you an amused look when he walks up with them. they snicker before they leave as he sits with you. sometimes they make a snide comment here and there like “have fun with ur super hot date” that makes him roll his eyes—he doesn’t do much to hide the look of distaste on his face.
but then—and he doesn’t even know when it happens—you start to slowly grow on him. because ur actually pretty snarky urself, sometimes making a dry comment here and there about the professor and his stupid bald headed self. sometimes a girl in the distance laughs too hard a group of guys that u roll ur eyes and mumble how “if i had a voice like that i’d never laugh in public” and it makes him snort a bit without meaning to. sometimes you stare daggers at the person who has their music so loud thru their headphones they can’t help but notice u and turn it down in embarrassment. ur actually not as much of a pushover as he thought—you just genuinely think he’s too incapable to help u out that you’ve just shrugged him off and started doing his part. it’s an easy weekly lab class anyway, you don’t need him—and then he realizes that u rly just don’t care for him. his little snickers at u with his friends and their snide comments roll off ur back bc well…he’s him—an asshole little frat boy and u didn’t expect anything better from him. so it makes him a little intrigued—maybe a little wounded in his pride, deep down, because no one has ever been indifferent to him before. they’re either madly in love, or they hate his guts, or they follow his lead. either works—he still gets the attention he craves.
but u just don’t rly care. and ur actually pretty cool, and kinda sorta funny in a way no one else is. he likes it…and fuck, now he’s starting to like you. he can tell bc when his friends ask how his little date with you went, he starts getting a bit huffy ab it bc they don’t need to talk about you. they don’t even know you…but also….its not a date. and that’s the worst part. sometimes it feels like a date. almost—sometimes you both decide to take a break in between and go get a coffee or a light snack. sometimes he’s even paid (to which you look mildly shocked before politely thanking him) and you both walk back to the library while u make light banter and it’s…well, fun. and nice. and your laugh is pretty. and your smile is kinda cute and he (though he hates to admit it) rly likes it when u laugh because of him.
and then things start to get messy—really, he didn’t mean for it to start this way. he really was meaning to ask you in a genuine manner to see u again once the semester was finished. because he’s actually started pulling his weight—he wants u to see him for someone who’s smart. satoru is actually rly rly smart and no one knows it because he doesn’t rly show it but he is. he wants u to see that side of him—somehow there’s some sick validation he rly needs from you knowing he’s not a dense frat guy who drinks and fucks until 3 am every night. so he starts doing his parts and actually communicates with u about sections. so starts ur texting routine—sometimes a little longer than u rly need to for just doing a lab together. sometimes it’s “did u hear ab that girl in our class getting dumped in front of the kfc ??” and sometimes it’s “god our prof rly needs to get some pussy” and other times it’s “look what the guy who sits behind us just posted on his story” and it leads to a few long convos that admittedly…are rly fun. ur so fun. he likes it. he rly does like u and he thinks maybe….maybe he’s grown on u too and you know what ?? satoru’s always a jerk but ur nice and who’s to say he can’t be nice too ?? just for one person. for u, he can be a nice guy—u carried lab all on ur own long enough that u deserve it anyway.
until he gets swayed in that way only a coward can. in that way you do when ur used to being “the man” around ur friends and ur too pressured to keep up that energy for appearances sake bc u don’t wanna be the laughing stock who softened up for “some nerdy chick who’s a nobody.” so he laughs when they laugh at the fact that ur probably “still a virgin who’s never touched a guy before” and then they’re patting gojo on the back and shoving at his shoulder as they laugh harder and suggest that “y’know what would be so funny man ?? if u took her virginity. you could probably do it.”
the thought is sickening because…satoru wouldn’t want to fuck you like that. god, you have him caring about when and how he fucks you—in fact, just thinking about you lewdly makes him feel guilty. disrespectful, even. you’re more than a fleshlight for his dick. since when did he become so respectful ?? but he doesn’t know how to say no, especially when everyone starts agreeing one after the other—and oh no, now they’re betting on how quickly he can do it….and oh, now it’s not just fucking. now it’s “how long until you think she’s head over heels for you? man, that would be a sight, huh ??”
and….well, satoru decides it couldn’t hurt, right ?? he does want to be romantically involved so that would include you being head over heels. hopefully. fingers crossed. and he doesn’t rly want to seem lame in front of the guys either, so he gets to keep both sides of the coin, so is it really that bad ?? maybe not the right idea but certainly the right execution. he’ll treat you well—that much he’s confident of. so he forces out a laugh and says “gimme a month or two, you’ll see.”
and a month or two they give him. and a month or two it takes—but not for you to be head over heels. it’s him who’s utterly and completely obsessed and fallen head first and whatever else they say to describe love because wow. this must be what it is. this must be that stupid fairytale shit they always talk about because fuck, no one has ever looked at him like that. like he’s some miracle to this earth and some wonder only you know of—like you hope it stays that way and that he’s yours and yours alone and no one else comes in to take him away. satoru really likes being yours, it kinda feels better than you being his. being yours means you hold him like that at night and wake him up to a kiss between his brows and sometimes, when he gets those migraines he’s prone to getting, you always seem to know. always seem to understand when to close the blinds and keep quiet and wrap him up in the covers as you rub your thumbs over his temples soothingly.
he almost forgets about that silly little bet he made two months ago when he’s around you. actually, he forgets everything when he’s around you. he’s only ever thinking about you, you, you. when he comes back to his frat house, on the other hand, they’re all gathered around waiting for the newest details. how you must’ve been so pathetically star struck by him. how you must be embarrassingly bad at kissing. how you must stutter over every other word around him. how you must be making a complete and utter fool of urself trying to impress him and be someone you’re not bc the real you would never pique his interest.
they’re wrong ofc. if anyone’s star struck, it’s satoru bc how the hell are u so…cool ?? and so funny and witty and carefree ?? and you’re good at kissing—have him chasing your lips with a whine every time. sometimes you even chuckle at him when he does and make him blush a bit. he’s the one who stutters over his words when he sees you in your little date night outfits. sometimes he watches you drink from your straw and his brain short circuits a little until you snap at him and ask him in confusion if he’s alright. but the real kicker ?? it’s that if anyone’s pretending, it’s satoru. you’re always just you—unapologetically so, that it’s endearing and beautiful and so unearthly he wonders how he got so lucky. but him ?? he’s always acting like some guy he’s not. some chivalrous guy who opens doors and pushes out seats and kisses the back of hands and waits at least a few dates before even considering fucking. some nice, sweet, genuine guy who’s deserving.
he’s not that—never was. if you knew the real him, you’d leave in a heartbeat. it’s a scary thought. a raw feeling he doesn’t like. makes him feel all self conscious and insecure and all that weird shit he never thought he’d feel.
he tries. so hard, he tries to make them forget about that silly little bet and just slowly drop it and maybe even forget ur dating so he can just stay living this peaceful little fantasy with you—but that’s stupid. that’s naive. it’s been 4 months and enough is enough—the guys need to see the look on ur face when u realize what a fool ur being and satoru is “being a lazy ass who’s too comfortable not having for work for pussy these days.” so then there’s a video going around. it’s everyone gathered around on the couch drunk and talking about you. and satoru. you both, in fact. how it’s been two months and u seem desperate for his attention with the shrill little voice you use to call him toru, baby! it’s so, so fucking embarrassing, they say. how you think he likes it. (he does. god he does so much, it hurts. he loves it, actually, when you call him that. makes him feel special in a way he never has.) but then, the worst, most disgustingly nauseous part of the whole thing is when satoru laughs along and plays into their awful words. just lets them talk about you like you’re some piece of meat. something for him to chew up and spit out after he has a taste or you. not even worth savoring and enjoying. he laughs along and agrees—you’re nothing special and he can’t wait until he’s free of you.
that part hurts. that part sucks the most—when he acts like he didn’t tremble under your touch every time you kissed him. like he didn’t beg you to stay just five more minutes! before walking out the door to go home. he acts one way in front of you and one way in front of them and what’s worse ?? you don’t know which one is real. couldn’t tell even if your life was on the line to decide. because there’s no way he’s that good at pretending to be desperately in love, no fucking way. but there’s also no way he can be in love if he’s talking about you like that. that’s not what love is—that’s not what love feels like. that’s not what it means to someone.
you don’t know which satoru is the real one, but you know that neither is worth your time. not if he can’t stick to it.
it’s terrible thing—the way you break up. it’s messy and teary and he’s begging, he’s actually begging. he never thought he’d do that. but he doesn’t even hesitate to plead for you to hear him out. baby, please let me explain. wait, please don’t walk away—please just listen! i can explain.
he can’t explain, though when you as him to. stands there with a bitten bottom lip and teary eyes that are pleading you to just stay with him. to overlook this and just … ignore it like it’s nothing. like what he did and said was just nothing and you can shrug it off like you’re nothing too. like your feelings are nothing and so is your worth and that’s why you should just ignore the way he absolutely destroyed your pride and reputation and dignity and worse….every ounce of your love.
such deep, raw, pure love—it’s almost enough to heal every dry crack and crevice of this earth and bring it back to life.
you look at him with teary eyes and something so broken, it makes him feel like dirt beneath your feet.
“it’s embarrassing, satoru,” you hiss that night through tears, “you’re in your twenties getting a degree and you’re still just a high school bully. life’s really gonna kick you in the ass some day.”
life’s already kicking him in the ass as soon as you walk out. the air is colder. the world is dimmer. food doesn’t taste as good and fuck—there is just so much loneliness when you have no one to be yourself with. when there’s no you.
but he supposes you’re right though—he is just a bully. it’s pathetic, really. and maybe it’s for the best. maybe you don’t deserve someone who’s only ever known how to feel good because someone else doesn’t.
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im too lazy to watch through the entirety of new vestroia but is there any scenes of gus and helios or vulcan and helios interacting? bc id like to think that they're friends :)
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lotus-pear · 4 months
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YAAAAAYYYY ITS FINALLY HERE!!! ty guys sm again for 5k i rly appreciate it <3
rules and guidelines under the cut!
rules and due date (i've never done this before so bear w me ok!!):
-due date will be march 1st! i will accept entries a few days late dw i'm nor ur professor or smth BUT I WOULD RLY PREFER IF U GET IT DONE BY THEN (just dm me if u need more time)
-pls tag ur finished piece under #lotuspear5kdtiys and dont forget to mention my user @lotus-pear! if i neglect to reblog ur piece then pls lmk even though that probably won't happen bc i'll be checking that tag every day for new entries👹
-pls don't trace the art.. i'll be really sad if u do that :(((( if u need help at all w the posing or hands then shoot me an ask or weed ur way into my dms bc ik this is kind of a complicated piece
-anyone can participate!! u don't have to be following me or anything and it's fine if we've never interacted before
-colors and expression are completely flexible and i'd even encourage playing around w it since the final product isn't meant to mimic my style. if u can then pls try to keep the pose relatively similar although i don't mind if it's changed a little bit. whatever is most comfortable to u as the artist.
-if u guys want to see the piece without any shading or rendering then pls dm me, ik it might be easier for some ppl to just see the bare sketch or the lineart w base colors
prizes🤩 (ik this is what u guys are rly after /j):
-alr so ik everybody's all like "well what's in this for me🤨" oh my god if u would just let me explain 😐 i'll be choosing three winners and two honorable mentions amongst all the contestants
-the top three winners get a follow (yea ok kinda sucky but wtv) AND they get to commission a fully rendered piece from me of a single character of their choice for free >:) (i'll discuss the details w the winners in two months)
-the two runner ups will also get a follow from me AND they get to commission a sketch of a single character from me (again, i'll discuss what this entails in further detail when the honorable mentions are selected in two months)
————
ermmm yea i think thats it for now i'll come back and edit the post if i feel the need to add anything.. HAVE FUN GUYS I CANT WAIT TO SEE WHAT U GUYS DO🫶🏼🫶🏼
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diordeer · 2 months
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౨ৎ FROM THE START
“when I talk to you, cupid walks right through and shoots an arrow through my heart, and i sound like a loon, but don't you feel it too?” - laufey (smau)
contains: charlie bushnell x singer!reader, who collaborates with laufey and is a beabadoobee-like singer
description: the fact that the guy i liked hasnt asked me out yet is criminal bc he is the only person i fully make eye contact with like thats the equivalent of confessing my undying love
requested by: @tomblythsslut
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Liked by walker.scobell, dior.n.goodjohn and others
iamcharliebushnell go listen to my girl’s new album… RN!
tagged yn.ln
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user1 i heard the first song and ascended to heaven
↳ user6 i still haven’t recovered from it
yn.ln hes only saying this bc half the songs are about him
↳ iamcharliebushnell i may be biased but my point stands strong 🤷‍♀️
user2 “MY GIRL’S” 😣😣😣
↳ user3 I CANT DO THIS
leahsavajeffries it sound SO GOOD 😍
user4 i LOOOVE yn shes literally my fav singer ever
↳ user5 her songs r soo cute too! and now that i know most the songs are about charlie (which we kind of all knew but still) it makes me love them even more!
dior.n.goodjohn have her album ON LOOP 24/7!!!
↳ yn.ln GIRL!
aryansimhadri love love LOVED this!
↳ yn.ln love love LOVE you!!!
user7 yn and charlie are sooo cute together!
↳ user8 ikr! oh to have a bf like him 🫣
user9 the album is MAGICAL… and the cover!!
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Liked by laufey, iamcharliebushnell and others
yn.ln incase u havent noticed yet… i collabed with laufey on my album… not only that we played it together on stage?! I love u girl!!
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laufey ahh it was soo much fun… we have to do it again!!
↳ yn.ln oh DEFINITELY!!
↳ user8 AGAIN?! MAYBE I HAVE A CHANCE OF SEEING THEM!!
user1 OMG I WAS THERE
↳ user2 i think i COMBUSTED when yn came on the stage
↳ user3 u guys r so lucky!!
user4 YN IS ETHEREAL
iamcharliebushnell you’re so incredible 🩷🩷
↳ yn.ln awh shucks 🤭
user5 “incase u haven’t noticed” GIRL ITS ALL ANYONE IS TALKING ABOUT?!?!!?!???
↳ user6 RIGHT?! LAUFEY AND YN MATCH SO WELL ON SONGS AND THEY WERE SO CUTE PEFORMING TOGETHER
aryansimhadri OH MY GOD?!?!?! I LOVE YOU GUYS
↳ laufey my fav fan 😘 (am i allowed to say this?)
user7 they are MAGESTIC
user9 laufey and yn are such an amazing duo i BEG they do another collab
↳ laufey 😉😉
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yn.ln love you, you freak
tagged iamcharliebushnell
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iamcharliebushnell WAS THE FREAK NECESSARY?!
↳ yn.ln one hundred percent
↳ iamcharliebushnell love u more btw
↳ yn.ln ofc 😘
↳ iamcharliebushnell hold on when did u take a pic of me at the doctors?!
↳ yn.ln 🤫
user2 HES SOOO
dior.n.goodjohn we should totally collab one day!
↳ yn.ln OMG BET
↳ user3 YN AND DIOR PLSSS PLSSS 🙏
user1 WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THE SECOND PIC?!
↳ yn.ln me getting violently attacked by a rabid beast
↳ user1 the things i would do to get attacked by that rabid beast 😜
↳ iamcharliebushnell ⁉️⁉️
↳ yn.ln user1 is very right
taglist: @lostinhisworld @lizziesfirstwife @auttumnsayshi @silkenthusiasts @taygrls @kidkrowk @kanojous @niktwazny303 @m00ng4z3r @highfidelities @b0ok-lover @vamplyle
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