#but ive found fictional men attractive before so thats not it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jaxieus · 9 months

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ive written this three times but tumblr keeps messing up and undoing all the writing i did :'(

but i wont let it discourage me! ive got a lot to say about the art i made even though its messy sketches on mspain(t) XD

i had been feeling burnt out and decided to draw comfort characters ( some that ive not drawn in a long time or have acknowledged but never drew before) and the carebears is a franchise thats been with me for so long i made a whole painting for class about it!

i made a list and with utter shock i realized that i basically bacame my owm worts enemy! the list grew so much (and is still growing :')) and i only drew a few characters so far

i know ill render these soon but the others will take a while

(but im really concerned about how im gonna tag this without being obnoxious 🥲)

i have like alot to say about these characters i drew because they mean so much to me and i never really could delve into them at school.

theres more i want to say and its under the cut! :D

so this is gonna get a lil personal but hopefully not too much to the point its boring ,:)

the first character i want to talk about is Ursula. i remember when i was younger being increadibly infatuated with her. i would draw her whenever i could. on chalkboards, the wall, i made paper cut-out of her and digitally drew her on ms paint! she was the first character that a had a desire to be close to in a way. a character albeit evil felt comforting and till this day make me tear up from how beautiful her design is! Ursula was the first female character i felt a strong aesthetic attraction to. (im just kinda a sucker for powerful women)

so i made sure to stay true to her design by keeping her body type and tentacles. basically just switching her hands and head to the carebears design (im still deciding whether or not to keep her hair)

second has to be Rosalina. she really made me accept and realize that i did have an attraction to the same sex ':) i loved playing as her in smash bros, listening/watching her story in galaxy. i never really 'got' the whole thing but reflecting and growing as a person did make me realize that not just fictional men look great but women too!

her design is based on the carebear cousins because the main thing was the mane! you dont really see a bear with a long loc covering its eye so having her different from the others i think gives good variety

third King Candy. oka y i recently feel back inlove with him! mostly because of @/ blackthewolf17's drawings of him!! and that made me rewatch the movie and wow! i remember liking his character a while back but i never really appreciated his as a villain! watching the movie and seeing the art made me remember the discussions i had with my fam about liking him and them not really understanding. (its kinda a running theme with a lot of the characters i like)

i wanted the characters the pop out and look recognizable. i kept the crown and collar. his belly badge is a paper covering his original badge! this one shows the crown and a few bits of candy. (leaning into the fact that he doesnt belong)

next is NME SalesGuy for Four. (such a clever name) this dude is literally a character that i was shocked by his stature! i mean what did i expect? falling for a dude that exudes tall energy but is literally a short king! this dude was there during some cool family times while watching right back at ya!

while looking for references, i found i cb comic and i loved how their legs looked. it wasnt bent like the originals on the cards and i thought they looked really goofy! so i went with that with the design becasue he just doesnt really fit with everyone elses stlye

fifth Rick Sanchez. man, this old man. has been with me through a lot. i saw a poster if the show before it premiered and two years after, i watched it and ive obsessed over him so much i made people watch Rick and Morty so i could talk with them about it. R&M really got me back onto tumblr because it was my entire personality since the show was at its peak and after. (old men tsk tsk) i made OCs Self inserts and played the mobile game. i literally memorized episodes to recite as i went to sleep. and analyzed frames of my fave episode to get better at animation!

i gave Rick clothes because i wanted him to have some flair. iconic elements of him is his tousled hair, coat and alcohol. (hes drinking 'happy juice')

Sixth is Coach Brunt. a girlboss of a villain! she took care of and orphan and made her feel like she was her own! shes determined, strong, fierce, fit, has a great voice, money, and kind. what more could a girl ask for?? this was another character that i had seen while watching CS with the fam. (still havent completed it tho)

i did break the rule and give her a tuft of hair also ':/ but i like her BB i gave her.

its a paw punching a heart (maybe too violent)

Seventh is Johan liebert. i really loved this dude. the series just made me think more about human nature and nurture. i met some cool people becasue of this dude. Johan in a way made me cope with the problems that happened in my life. he really was the character that i also found out i was ace+aro. i just loved drawing him. filling pages of my sketchbook and centering english papers based around him and the lessons i learned from seeing the bad in his character and how people might turnout to be similar and how it can be a problem. (idk if it made sense, but i learned to appreciate humanity more and not be so headstrong and become blinded by my views. but also learning that its good for people to know whats coming for the people that wronged you)

Johans BB is painted on white, so you wouldnt be able to see what he is all about :)

theres is so much already but eighth is Senpai. this Fker is my worst enemy, just like all the characters i drew soo much of this guy that i thought i was gonna go crazy, there was a pang in my chest when the drawings looked like trash. he was the character that made me want to get better at art and engage more with people. i made a fnf OC to be this dudes father. (it was some of the most wholesome thing i ever drew)

Senpai has a more basic design. he also has his identifying elements like the backpack and mic

ninth is Saul. my bbg. it started with the character but sadlt turned into a full obsession over Bob Odenkirk and finding all of his shows and movies that he directed of acted in. thankfully im not deep into it anymore. but when i regularly used instagram, you could see the decent into madness for him. i made animations and really detailed fanart. if Sen got me to draw my fave better, Bob made me attempt to perfect it.

his design sadly is my weakest. i wanted to add some fake hair on him. but im sure you can see that i got lazy. a few weeks ago i made versions of the BRBA&BCS cast as Geronimo Stilton characters and (sad excusee) but i didnt want to put more into the design because i became drained from looking at the growing list D;<

his BB is based on themis :)

tenth is Big Jack Horner. i love this man. i ironically said "he was the hottest character in the movie" on my third watch and man i actually believed it on the way out of the theatre. i wanted to see if anyone liked him like i did and to my surprise people did! this dude has such a great bod, voice, attitude and like many of the characters i like i ask, "is there any proof of death? i dont think so".

i havent drawn him in months and i dont like that i havents so he was the first bear i drew. his BB is a pie but i think ill add his insignia or have him draw on it like Oopsie bear to fit his situation.

like maybe something silly like a frowning face on his BB

im going to put eleven and twelve together because both play a similar role. my two men of science. ive only recently started to like Medic and Scudworth. these two bring such a great jot to me just like all to kooky men i like as well.

sadly, they both look the same, the only thing differentiating them is the glasses. i love their voices and design.

i ahve yet to give Scudsy his own BB tho.

last thing i want to say is why i chose carebears as the main style.

the franchise has been with me since i can even remember or at least before i could comprehend what it was. i remember seeining either oopsie or good luck bear plush at a carnival and i really wanted it but it was closing and i mean it was probably bigger than me so i couldnt get it and it became an obsession of mine! i loved green and a already had a few at home whats one more? so i tried to drop hints at my mom. well as good as a 5-7 yr old could do with drawings.

theres a lot more to say but i might go one for so long it wont fit here!

this was very long and if you read it thank you very much! im glad i got to comfortably speak my mind (well write it) in my own way that did have structure but felt more personal and less embarrassing that my english teacher asking me to write something about myself and my life. or my Art teacher saying i have the freedom to create something but then talk about it with in a time span because im not the only one that has something good to say about their art.

im not sure if all of it was understandable and might've been really unnecessary but im glad either way.

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dreaminmysoup · 2 years

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I mean I really, really do like the Nowhere King’s pre-goop form, I think it’s a good design and I did draw fanart of him, but I do not get you all simping for this man. Respect if you do, but, guys, he looks like Abraham Lincoln’s centaursona.

#centaurworld #centaurworld season 2 #nowhere king #centaurworld spoilers #elktaur #granted i am a lesbian so that may have something to do with that #but ive found fictional men attractive before so thats not it #idk but i can understand what the Woman saw in him pre his villain origin story #he seemed sweet

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ssundiall-moved · 4 years

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ok so i wanted to make a post about this because i feel like its gonna help me express my emotions better. also i havent been to therapy in awhile due to the current pandemic.

right now i am single because i think i might be gay. just attracted to men. its not that i never loved the women ive previously dated but ive found that its hard for me to differentiate between platonic and romantic relationships. i cant really tell how exactly i feel towards any real person in particular. fictional media seems to make my attraction more clear to me and i dont know why this is. i think the distance of knowing that fictional characters arent real and wont hurt me helps a lot even though i do treat fictional characters like real people. i very very rarely find myself attracted to women in fiction but even then i never get past romantic attraction to them. i dont think ive ever found myself sexually attracted to women on their own.

i might be bi, i dont know, but as of right now i feel like the label "gay" fits me better. i've known that i wasnt straight even before i realized i was trans. the thing is that even if i was never attracted to women i still viewed myself as a man. i kinda hid behind the label of bisexuality because i didnt want to be viewed as straight. its not like i viewed being straight as a bad thing its that it never felt right. even after coming out as a trans man i felt like i had to be bi or else i was fetishistic. i dealt with a lot of internalized transphobia and even when i viewed other gay trans men as valid i never viewed myself as that.

anyways thats it im tired and i gotta go do art. bye

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neo-shitty · 3 years

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toffee!

ah yeah i suppose ur right. yeah i think quarentine has had that sort of effect on a lot of people :( sorry to hear abt ur strict parents, hopefully ur friend will be able to come back soon. small outings (even with family) are still good tho, make sure ur taking care of urself toff.

youre totally right! ah yes thats good advice (/gen) ill try and use that when im in a slump ty. any music suggestions?

lol sames. even some of the stuff abt seungmin, innie etc is a little uncomfortable, like theyre grown ass men for sure, but at the same time, theyre still young, still just over being a teenager in the grand scheme of things. (on that note, i do struggle with worrying that im infantalising them, obviously theyre adults but at the same time, theyre still young. i do treat all fictional characters as my children, but i guess its different when its real people. idk. what do you think?) yeah some stans rlly need to take a chill pill, some are rlly walking the wire between 'ah theyre attractive/that look rlly suits them' and making fucking smut fics abt minors, like... they do not see a problem with that?? yeah tbh i feel like unless theyre 18 they shouldnt be put into the spotlight, weve seen what it does to peoples mental health, but modern day kpop industry is a lot like old hollywood with a lot of popular child actors -_- hopefully the big companies will learn but i agree, its unlikely

suuuuure toff haha. ill go searching for them, but idk if ill be able to find the fluff needle in the angst haystack (jkjk) yeah, fair i groan and complain but you do write angst etc rlly well, so if its what ur comfortable with, then pls continue, it is one of your strong suits, well as you write fluff aside

ah okay good! ill continue to send you essays then

THE ALBUM YES. so ive been looking forward to it for literally months, this is actually my first skz album release as a stay (since the last on was 9 months ago) i was sitting there hitting refresh on my spotify the second 6pm kst came around. (speaking of which, how did you do the release? i couldnt decide whether to watch or listen first but i ended up on listening cos there would be more material) okay: so cheese was super cool, very skz ya know? tho i almost wish theyd made domino the title track, tho obv it was a more experimental track and would have been a bit controversial (much like whistle for bp) i looooved domino and thunderous was absolutely impeccable. all the songs were amazing but standouts were- secrets, secrets which lowkey made me tear up idk why, red lights which almost killed me (it did not have to go that hard, but it did) and OT8 WOLFGANG omgggg i wasnt sure if hyunjin was going to be included in it but i was hoping and, ya know people had said hed be in there, but the further i got in, the less i was sure and then BAM hyunjin started what had been jisung's part and i just sat there grinning for about 5 minutes. surfin was absolutely adorable and gone away almost made me cry AGAIN. star lost was so touching, almost a nod to hyunjins little star? silent cry was relatable beyond anything. SSICK was funny? for some reason I was laughing while it was playing, idk the combination of added cheering and minhos aggressiveness and the totall seriousness they sung it. but i rlly enjoyed it. sorry i love you showcased their vocals like nothing else. the view is THE BOP of 2021, absolutely going to be stuck in my head for the next decade, that hook is genius. what did you think?

also did you watch their grow up performance? with all the stays and ALL THE TEARS? ;n; i feel like this is the end of an era of skz and tbh im kinda happy but also sad. super excited for their promotions but super bummed they wont get to tour. ah well

<3 w.a. 🐺

answer under the cut bc i gave an equally long answer to this already long ask HAJSH

oh yeah, abt quarantine having an effect. my friend and i talked about this earlier actually. i didn't realize the world was moving so fast until the pandemic happened. being in quarantine gave me time to think and i got to know myself more. it's just the sole good thing i got out of the isolation lmao. and abt my strict parents, ironically i got to go out today so i got to hang out with a few of my bestfriends. i had fun but my legs are a bit sore from walking. but they're a different set of friends. i'll get to hang out with the others when my getaway driver comes home in december.

hmm music recommendations for writing? depends on the plot you're writing. care to share what story you're working on and i'll try to rake my brain for a song that might match the vibe. i listen to classical / lo-fi if i don't have song inspo for a fic because lyrics sometimes distract me.

i don't think that's infantilizing tho. for me, it has something to do with my environment and the way i was raised. maybe it's the same the other way around? like this certain age (for the ones above 18 but below 20) is thirst-able for them. idk really. it's just not for me ?n? what i do NOT condone is writing smut for minors??? like get checked : D // i agree with everything with the idols being 18+ before they debut simply because it's for the best for their well-being like. how can young idols decide that this shit is the thing they want to do for life? or at least until their contracts last. idk :// it's unfortunate that it's unlikely to happen.

WELL. i have a list so you won't have to go search for them! in class (minho), in the rain (seungmin), gladius maximus (chan) and you've read five star already. and i just realized that most, if not all, of my upcoming fics are fluffs and i'm fond of all of them :D i used to focus a lot on angst because fluff disgusted the living shit out of me. i think things changed when i wrote champagne problems and hurt myself so bad i wanted to drop angst entirely. i didn't, of course, but i allowed myself to be self-indulgent now.

for the release of the album, i was on twt and watched the vid at 12 views (if i remember correctly, i watched back door at 14 so HASJH) i’m gonna talk by track so it wont be too confusing? bc i wrote this in paragraph format and it just ???? beware im very picky with tracks even if they’re my ults. so no offense if we have opposing opinions and i’m not fond of reading lyrics so these are all music wise.

cheese - oh god i hated cheese at first listen but it grew on me easily. i was singing the yeahyeahyeahyeah bit all day today :D

thunderous - i cant say that it’s my favorite title track. it felt really dry sometimes, both mv and music wise. but at the same time, it’s not that bad. the choreography carried the song tho o.O it’s so fucking cool. but like go live, another track has my heart and it’s

domino - AND YES I AGREE THAT THEY SHOULDVE MADE DOMINO TITLE TRACK UGHHHHH WHAT A WASTED FUCKING OPPORTUNITY. WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS HOW FOND I AM OF THIS SONG. it stands close to the level i love easy.

ssick - was a skip on first listen too because i found the chorus underwhelming but it grew on me? not that much but i can bear listening to it.

the view - it’s something the gen public like, hence its something i dislike. im not fond of songs that are structured like this? it’s not a bad song, just not the type of song i like. but i agree that the hook is very not catchy but it would get stuck in ur head.

sorry, i love you - it’s not as sad as i expected but i actually like it??? i can’t wait to write a fic out of it (1) HAJSHAJ it’s like a 3/5 for me. it’s angsty but chill?

silent cry - i’m pissed at this song bc it hits but sometimes it doesn’t?@?#!? but it’s starting to grow on me but definitely not my fave track.

secret secret - glad i found a secret secret enthusiast because my irls thought it was a skip?$?#@$? it gives me ikon vibes and i’m a huge fan of ikon’s discog so this was a win for me T_T +

STAR LOST - gives me bigbang song vibes and now im very sad :(( in case u didnt know, i’m a hUGE yg fan and 2ne1/bigbang introduced me to kpop so when i heard this track that gave me yg feels i just <3___<3 and it’s one of my favorite tracks anw moving on,

red lights - I WANT TO SKIP THE FIRST TEN SECONDS OF RED LIGHTS EVERY TIME IT PLAYS LIKE IT MAKES ME FEEL AWKWARD KDSJFSK but fine. i’m adding this to props and mayhem’s playlist LMAO it’s more aggressive than sexc tho. more enemies to lovers o. O

surfin’ - this coming right after red lights just wasn’t the best decision arrangement wise because how did we go from ooh sexc to aigh pARTAY. felix saying sheesh T___T it’s such a fun song i want to go to the beach ;n; do you like beaches?

gone away - i have yet to read the lyrics because i’m using this as inspo for a jeongin fic jskjash it’s not the type of ballad i like but it’s so fucking sad to listen to :’ ) the pitch change caught me off guard? still does. it’ll grow on me prolly.

wolfgang - I YELLED WHEN I HEARD HYUNJIN IN WOLFGANG. i didn’t like this song until recently. it gives me the confidence boost i need to pick myself off self-esteem crashes.

and no i haven't watched that performance and i prolly wont because i’ll cry. i’m excited for the promotions too. do you think they’ll still have a repackage?? i cant fucking believe that i just finished waiting for 12am kst for skz teasers and now i have to look forward to 12am for nct 127??@?#? NOT A SINGLE DAY OF REST FOR THIS STAYZEN

#toff.asks #wild anon 🐺

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jaystar101-blog · 7 years

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Blog 1: The wrong side of twenty: Flirt Culture.

I was just reminiscing about the film, The House Bunny, the other day. Have you seen it? Do you remember the scene where Shelley is trying to teach the other girls how to flirt? “Your biceps are huge, kiss me.” and then he would kiss me.”

Biceps Laughs aside, if only it were that simple.

Let’s talk about flirt culture. What is it? Who knows how to successfully take part? Who knows what to say, what to do, is anyone naturally that smooth? or is it something that you’re born with? Hell, maybe its Maybeline.

These are the questions I want answered... along with why,The house Bunny didn't take more at the box office. Seriously guys, that movie is hilarious.

As I may or may not have mentioned, I myself find it 100x more difficult to navigate my way around the dating scene, as a result of having a same sex attraction to men. Seriously, being gay is like a piece of paper. Fold it in half and one half is the gay community, fold that half in half and the new half is now the gay community in your city. Fold that half in half and that represents guys around your age with similar interests and hobbies, fold that half in half and that represents the guys around your age with similar interests and hobbies that you actually like, and that could potentially like you back. Do you catch my drift?

It’s a jungle out there, or a really really small piece of paper.

Sorry. Im introducing too many examples and common phrases. Point is, its no walk in the park...I'm doing it again.

So what can be done? Well for years I haven't done anything. Ive just gone through life wondering whether or not the guy I served at work that gave me the serious side eye was actually interested, or was just really happy with my customer service the $15 leather protecter he just bought for his shoes.

Surely though, there must be foreseeable signs.

So at this current moment in time I’m the only one that is allowed to do the banking at my work. This is not because I’m the manager, but actually because of this tall dark and handsome bank assistant that greets me every time I walk in to make a deposit.

Now, at first I thought he was just doing his job, smiling politely and handing me my ticket, but one day I came in and he already had my ticket ready, and with a sizable smile, casually mentioned, “I’ve memorised you.”

Memorised me? I didn't realise I was memorisable. Is that a good thing or is that more of a “oh this guy, its that time of day again that this stupid little dweep does his banking.”

Its really hard to tell, guys.

Me, being ever so gracious and charming, offered but a casual smile and took the ticket with a “so you have. Thank you” and took a seat. I wish I could have thought of something witty to say but honestly coffee only gets me so far in one day, and it was already around 2pm.

But wait theres more. Another time I went in, and he told me to come back because the cue was really long. How sweet, right? Maybe he just hoped I’d take the hint and use a different bank...

On my return, I took a seat and noticed he was dealing with these difficult foreign customers who were making a grandeo fuss about bank account security, like its such a drag to have to keep your money, your money. I mean, I would totally get the inconvenience, if I actually had any of my own, but I digress. Mr TDH, (I've abbreviated tall dark and handsome because I don't want to have to keep typing it, I hope that’s okay with you) was assisting them and he looked over on occasion, shooting me a ‘these custy’s are really making me feel uncomfortable’ kind of look, which was quite adorable if I’m being honest. I shot him a knowing smirk, and then it happened. He asked me what my number was. No, not my actual digits, silly.

Unfortunately, he was talking about my ticket number. I told him with that same smile, before he turned back to dealing with his irksome customers.

I didn't know what to make of this. On the one hand I was like, that was random, why would he need to know that? He’s not at the tellers and he is with customers, but then I was like, maybe it was an attempt to make conversation with me. Mr TDH didn't ask the woman that walked in after me what her number was, no sir!

That’s the thing though, was it flirting, or was it just filling in a moment while his customers lulled something over amongst themselves? God knows. I could sit here all night mulling it over and still be totally unsure. Men need manuals.

I haven't encountered Mr TDH again since, mostly on account of the recent easter break, and im guessing different working schedules, but I’m really not sure what my next move should be, if anything. This is what I don't understand. I always hear of people getting phone numbers left by customers in cafes, bars, restaurants, or just by people on the street, (even if they are weirdos),hell, a girl I used to work with got asked out on the damn shop floor! I’m reaching for the ‘this is bullshit’ key as I write this but realise it’s actually strangely absent from my keyboard.

Come on, apple.

Point is, why the fack (yes I said fack) is this happening in real life to people, and not even just to people in general, people I know, which makes it even more insulting. I can honestly say I have never once received a number from a customer that didn't want me to call them for anything other than for letting them know their goods have arrived in store safely. Nor have I ever had anyone (weirdos included) hit on me on the street, although I did have a homeless woman serenade me with Blank space by Taylor Swift one time, but thats a whole new discussion and I think she just wanted all that money I don't have that I touched on earlier.

Where do these people live? These forward asking people out people people? Are they real everyday people, or do they have their own agenda? What possesses an everyday person in an everyday situation to take it that step further with someone they are having an interaction with? Especially when there is a real chance it could all go so terribly south. I’m of the belief these people are all some kind of super beings that have somehow evolved passed the care factor of rejection, not even if its weird... and here I am having to turn the tv off when something socially awkward happens to a fictional character in a tv show. Maybe I’m the one with the real problem. Maybe they can sense it, and that’s why they don't bother with me. I’m on some secret blacklist or something. That has to be it, right? I’ll take your silence as a sign of agreement.

I do realise Ive gotten a bit silly. But seriously, I understand that people read cues, and are able to act on those cues, I’ve just always found I've been really unaware of them, and maybe this is why I haven't picked up on the rare occasion this might have happened to me. I mean, short of asking me out point blank, I think someone would have to slap me in the face with the D palm of their hand to snap me out of it and realise what was going on.

Regardless, I venture on.

I don’t know about you, but all this dating and flirting talk is all just too hairy for me to navigate most of the time. I may not have a date lined up for this evening, or any cute guys flirting with me on the daily, but I do have my $3 7/11 latte in one hand, and my phone in the other, scrolling through meme upon meme on my way to work every morning. So I ask myself, whose the real loser here?

Besides, I own, The House Bunny, on DVD.

#Blog Blogger Thewrongsideoftwenty flirt gay writing twentysomething lifestyle tumblr blogs firstworldproblems funny comedy

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