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#but like he's still completely on the good side too
fayes-fics · 3 days
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To Know You…
Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x fem!reader
Summary: Benedict knows you better than anyone. But does he know himself well enough to know what he truly wants?
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Warnings: none really… fluffy fluff. Childhood friends, class differences, marriage mart shenanigans, dancing, marriage proposals, Benedict being adorable while also a complete dumbass, unrequited to requited love, love confessions.
Word Count: 10.4k (yeah, it's a long one, folks)
Authors Note: this is a request fill for @curlsincriminology (ask HERE) about Benedict showing you all the wonderful things he sees in you, but will he figure out his own feelings before it's too late? Thanks to the complete trooper @colettebronte for beta reading this monster one-shot. Enjoy <3
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I: To Know You….
“I would rather not, Miss y/l/n,” the young man clips, walking away from you at a brusque pace. 
You sigh and look down at your feet. Mrs Parsons will be so very disappointed, is all you can think.
Benedict may not have heard the words spoken, but even from his vantage point at the other end of the ballroom, he could see the disdainful way the young man uttered his parting words to you. It makes anger flare hot in his chest, his fist forming reflexively at his side.
He watches as you look down, shoulders hunching, folding in on yourself physically, as if the rejection for a dance has manifested in a body blow. He feels a pang in his gut—of sympathy, indignance on your behalf and mainly at the injustice of it all. To him, you are a wonderful, intelligent, caring person worthy of a good match. Still, the circumstances of your upbringing seem to stymie your attempts to join so-called ‘polite’ society at every turn…
You look up with a defeated mien until your eyes land on one person who has always been able to ameliorate any of your more morose moods—Benedict Bridgerton. Instantly, you feel lighter. You give him a polite nod across the crowded room, and, to your delight, he returns it, a hint of a sympathetic smile tugging at his lips. It is just so very characteristic of him to offer silent support, to understand, from witnessing a moment of interaction, precisely what you are feeling. A large part of you feels so wistful that there is no other man quite as nice as him. Suddenly, your overwhelming need is to leave this stuffy ballroom and catch some air.
You grew up under the tutelage of the kindly doctor’s widow, Mrs Parsons, whose house is not far from the vast Bridgerton estate in Kent. The naturally born daughter of nobody quite knows whom, you were taken in as her ward when you were abandoned upon her doorstep at a mere two years old. Her reputation for kindness towards young waifs and strays is likely why you were left there. It is an event you were too young to recall, so all you have known your whole life is her generosity and kindness, raising you as if her own. 
And now that you are of age, she takes you to events around Kent in the hopes of securing you a respectable husband, the most prestigious being tonight’s Hearts and Flowers Ball at Aubrey Hall. The Bridgertons have always been gracious enough to invite local families, those without the means to partake in the London season, to events at their country estate—a kindness that allows for your attendance tonight. It’s just such a pity that the one bachelor Mrs Parsons was so very keen for you to meet, one Mr Reeves, just rebuffed you so thoroughly. 
You glance down at the remaining empty slots on the dance card tied to your wrist and sigh again. Now that you are out on the terrace in the fresh evening air, the light breeze is at least a partial balm, allowing you to recover from the sting of rejection away from the hubbub of the ballroom.
“I will never understand how the men of this county can consider themselves anything approaching mannered.” 
You would know that refined voice anywhere. It haunts your dreams. Just the sound of it making your ribs tighten. You turn to see Benedict sauntering towards you, two drinks in hand, that sympathetic smile still in place.
“You are far better off without such rudeness,” he adds dryly as he pulls up beside you, arching an eyebrow for your entertainment.
“You are far too kind, Mr Bridgerton,” you answer, taking the glass he offers with a meek smile, trying not to let your ardent admiration for him be too evident. 
“Mr Bridgerton?!?” he scoffs, “What happened to BenBen?” he teases gently, recalling your childhood name for him when you were a mere four and he was nine.
“We are at a formal event; I should address you as such, should I not?” you reply playfully, a warmth spreading inside as it always does when you get the chance to have a witty, convivial exchange with him.
By gosh, if there is one man to whom you would pledge yourself without hesitation, it is him. But, of course, he is the second son of an illustrious family. To think you would have any chance to win his heart would be as likely as a future king to marry a commoner. Still, you can dream…
“At least call me Benedict, Skylark,” he winks over his wine glass as he takes a sip, butterflies erupting in your tummy at the affectionate nickname he has used since you were small; you have to avert your eyes to avoid blushing deeply.
Just as he goes to speak again, his brother, the Viscount, materialises at his side. Looking to all intents and purposes as if he is trying to escape the ball as much as you are.
“Mother is best avoided tonight, brother,” Anthony warns sagely, taking a large gulp of his champagne. “She is under the erroneous impression I am suddenly in want of a wife.”
You can't stop the giggle that bubbles up from within at his wry observation of his predicament.
“Hello, y/n,” he greets warmly, just noticing you are also there, his face morphing into a youthful, playful grin. If Benedict is the husband you have always dreamed of, Anthony is the elder brother you have always yearned for. In fact, that is always how he has treated you, akin to Eloise and Daphne, who you grew up playing with, being of similar age.
“Hello, Anthony,” you chime back. “How was the hunt earlier? Did the infamous Bridgerton brothers kill another prized stag?” you inquire, keen to engage both of them for as long as they will entertain you. Just being around them always lifts your spirits to no end.
Benedict observes you as you listen intently to Anthony’s recounting of the hunt earlier that day, impressed by your resilience. He has no doubts any other woman would feign an attack of the vapours had a man rejected her so harshly. But here you are, politely listening to his brother’s boasting, even though he can tell you are hurting inside.
Perhaps it helps that your snub went primarily unnoticed. You are unknown to the Ton; any witnesses likely dismissing it as the business of ‘country folk’ unworthy of note. Which, frankly, he could scoff at, seeing as he holds you in higher regard than all of the other attendees combined.
“How about you?” Anthony ends his story with a question to you, interrupting Benedict’s train of thought. “How has your experience been at our fine event this evening?”
“Oh, the house is splendidly decorated and the music wonderful,” you obfuscate behind flattery. Anthony appears to buy it, but Benedict sees behind your facade, the flame behind your usually bright gaze dimming a little, making something ache in his gut to see it. 
Damn that idiot for ruining your evening! This just won’t do…
You can feel Benedict’s eyes upon you as you respond abstractly to Anthony.
“Y/n here is too polite to say it, but she was treated harshly by that young Reeves chap from Tenterden,” Benedict edifies as you bow your head, embarrassed. “Let’s be sure to rescind his invitation to future events, brother,” he appends with a surly tone.
“Duly noted,” Anthony nods sincerely, a brush of confusion flitting over his face regarding his brother's vehemence.
“No, there is no need…” you begin to protest weakly but halt mid-sentence under the intensity of Benedict’s gaze.
“I bore witness. Believe me, He shall not darken our door again,” he states firmly.
It appears the matter is very much decided, and you don’t want to put up much of a fight, seeing as it ultimately benefits you. You do, however, want to bathe in the warm glow inside whenever Benedict defends you. It's wonderful to have someone looking out for you, especially one so handsome and kind.
Two days later, you are taking afternoon tea with Mrs Parsons at the local tea shop when Benedict breezes in, looking so majestic dressed in Bridgerton blues that you grind to a halt. Luckily, he has not seen you as he makes a beeline for the counter.
“‘Tis rude to stare, my dear,” Mrs Parsons lectures sotto voce, nodding to your teacup, frozen in mid-air.
You shake your head a touch and place said item back in your saucer as she turns briefly to look at what or who caught your attention. Then she reaches out, her lace-gloved hand gently patting yours. 
“It would be prudent to set your sights a little more realistic…” she advises with a sympathetic air.  “Not that I fault your choice,” she adds, so quietly at first you're not sure you heard her correctly, but there is a tiny playful smirk tugging at the corner of her lips. Your mouth falls open fractionally, and you stare as she shrugs. “I may be old, my dear, but I am not blind.”
Well, I never, Mrs Parsons!
As you take a bite of food, Benedict twists around from speaking to the proprietor, and he sees you. There’s a jolt down your spine as he breaks into a huge smile that claims his whole face. And you almost choke on scone crumbs as he makes a beeline over to you rather than the exit.
“Good afternoon, Miss y/l/n, Mrs Parsons!” he greets effusively. “Would it be terribly impolite to ask to join you briefly?”
Mrs Parsons' face is a picture of surprise. “Not at all; the pleasure is ours, Mr Bridgerton,” she responds affably, gesturing to the spare chair at your small round table.
As Benedict sits, Mrs Parsons shoots you an incredulous look. It's your turn to shrug fractionally.
“Mrs Parsons, I feel it necessary to tell you Mr Reeves was excessively rude to Miss y/l/n here at the ball, and I wanted to assure you that he will not be welcome at Aubrey Hall again,” he divulges sincerely.
Mrs Parsons looks taken aback and turns to you. “Why did you not tell me, my dear?”
“I-I did not think it necessary…” you twist your mouth into a bashful pout, biting your lip.
“Mr Bridgerton, thank you for bringing this to my attention, and I thank you for your generous offer, but that sort of action does not seem warranted,” she replies accommodatingly.
“That is what I said…” “That is what she said…”
You and Benedict speak in unison at the exact same moment, and your eyes ping to each other, both laughing then bowing your heads immediately. You know your cheeks are flushed.
Benedict loves the look in your eye sometimes. That spirited sparkle with glowing cheeks. In his opinion, that is the only look you should ever wear; no one, especially one as unworthy as Mr Reeves, should be allowed to rob you of it. He feels a strong compulsion to do everything in his power to keep you looking like that—carefree, happy, stunning. It’s what motivates his subsequent words.
“If it is not considered too impudent for me to do so, I have a suggestion for Miss y/l/n’s introduction into society,” Benedict offers sincerely. “I believe you should be able to find her an excellent, worthy match by casting a wider net.”
“What are you proposing, Mr Bridgerton?” Mrs Parsons inquiries, almost warily.
“That Miss y/l/n come to London and partake in the remainder of the season as a guest of my family. My mother seems to think it an excellent idea, and I know my younger sister Eloise is already a good friend. I do not see why they could not attend events together,” he shrugs genially.
Mrs Parsons's face is a picture again. “You have already spoken to the Dowager Viscountess of this matter?” she checks, unable to modulate the astonishment in her tone.
“Of course,” he confirms with a nod. “I made such a suggestion this morning when your names came up. She heartily concurs. Miss y/l/n here is too bright and good of a person to have her marital choice limited by geography or circumstance.”
His eyes fall on you, and his heart gallops at the searing look you are giving him.
You don’t even try to temper your doe-eyed expression as you look upon Benedict, him extolling your virtues to the audience of the tea room. 
Even distracted by all the wondrous things he has to say, you can detect the noise level on the surrounding tables has reduced; everyone in town always keen to eavesdrop on a Bridgerton conversation. Especially one that contains such noteworthy gossip as a local young lady being invited to the London season at the family’s behest.
“My dear, I trust that Lady Bridgerton will look after you well,” Mrs Parsons professes. “I have no objections should you desire to seize this opportunity.” Her tone pointed, very much encouraging you to do so.
“That would be just wonderful, Mr Bridgerton,” you exhale with a grateful smile. “I cannot thank you enough for even thinking to raise such a petition.”
“Think nothing of it, Miss y/l/n,” he smiles, standing up and giving you both a brief, shallow bow. “I shall see you anon, no doubt.” 
And with that, he sweeps out of the tearoom, your eye line tracking his concave outline through the curved glass as he rounds the corner out of sight.
“Well, well,” Mrs Parsons puffs out her cheeks. “I am not sure what you did to inspire such actions in a gentleman. But bravo, my dear, bravo,” she holds her teacup aloft in a toast. 
You are a jumble of emotions and could not even begin to answer Mrs Parsons about what you could possibly have done. Mostly, you are just elated by the prospect of the chance to attend the whirl of the London season, even if there is also a small pang of regret that Benedict is so keen to see you matched.
II: …Is To Love You
The following Tuesday, as your carriage pulls up outside the grandeur of Bridgerton House, you have nothing but butterflies. And as Lady Bridgerton - Violet as she insists you now call her - and her lady’s maid show you to your charming guest room, you cannot temper your excitement.
“Get yourself freshened up, my dear. There is a soiree this evening at the Queen’s new residence no less, and there is no time like the present to begin your introductions,” the dowager viscountess warmly counsels.
You nod your thank yous, and after they take their leave, you twirl excitedly around the room, taking in the elegant furnishings and airy sunlight flooding in. You pull up in front of a large sash window and are delighted to see bounteous gardens beneath. The rear of the property is very much an oasis of calm in the heart of the city. But one sight in particular draws your eye: a majestic oak with two swings attached to a stately arm. It looks like a place of refuge, and you feel oddly compelled to take a seat there.
Three hours later, walking into the palatial Buckingham House, you are in a different world from the one you know in Kent. Candlelit crystal chandeliers glint like towering clusters of jewels, spraying thousands of shards of light around the room. Every railing is bedecked in hundreds of drooping flower garlands, and the walls groan with enormous portraits of royalty. The mellifluous strains of a chamber orchestra fill the air. Your grip on Eloise’s arm is tight as you try not to look agog at all the opulence surrounding you.
“And I thought Aubrey Hall was grand,” you murmur quietly, and she just guffaws.
Benedict arrives late to the soiree from his bachelor lodgings, bustling in as stealthily as possible, knowing he will likely catch his mother’s ire for his tardiness.
But then he sees a sight that makes him temporarily stop dead in his tracks. There, hanging on to his little sister, surveying the room utterly lost in reverie at its grandeur—is you. He has not seen you dressed up as you are now, made over with the full attention of the Bridgerton staff. And he isn't afraid to admit to himself, at least, that it catches his breath. How they have applied cosmetics and styled your hair, emphasising your already evident beauty. And the dress they have chosen… well, he is almost ashamed of the heat pooling low in his gut; he has never seen you in such tailored, refined silks. 
Whosoever marries you shall be quite the luckiest man indeed.
He doesn't miss the way you inhale sharply when your eyes finally land on him, his chest swelling slightly with pride as your lips part in surprise before breaking into that winning smile which always seems to brighten every room, tonight being no exception.
As he pulls up to the family, he hears his mother opining to you about the men attending the ball.
“Y/n, I would like to introduce you to Lord Shelton; he is a fine young man with many interests, and he has a lovely estate near Hove,” his mother recounts as you listen intently.
“Oh god, no,” Benedict immediately intervenes, “Shelton has amassed significant debt at the Pudding Lane gaming hell…” 
Violet looks up surprised, then raises an eyebrow. “Pray tell dear son, how do you have knowledge of such? Benedict Bridgerton, you had better not be frequenting the hells of the East End,” she threatens quietly, in that stern maternal manner that has any grown man quaking in their polished shoes.
“No, of course not, mother,” he bristles, his eyes cutting briefly to you, not wanting you to think such things of him. “It is an open secret at Whites’, and why he is currently banned from the card room there.”
You cannot tear your eyes off Benedict as his mother side-eyes him.
Violet hums sceptically before declaring. “Well, not to worry, there are plenty of other options available for Miss y/l/n…” She steers your attention towards another crowd of young men, all talking and sipping champagne. “Baron Corning, Lord Jennings, Viscount Tewkesbury,” she recounts, nodding subtly to each one. “Any would make a fine addition to your dance card, my dear.” 
“We can do much better than any of them,” Benedict chides.
You are slightly taken aback at how very much he sounds like Anthony tonight; apparently very invested in curating who you should dance with. The problem is, with each additional suggestion his mother makes to you, he roundly dismisses them out of hand. 
Is no one in attendance up to his standard?
“Benedict, dear, a word?” Violet states pointedly after a third round of his withering opinions. “Get yourself another lemonade,” she smiles at you, patting your hand before looping her arm in her son’s and dragging him away.
His mother’s arm is surprisingly strong when she needs it to be.
“Darling, may I remind you, while Miss Y/l/n is indeed a wonderful person, I do not think we can afford to be too picky for her prospects. Her background is rather… unestablished,” Violet points out diplomatically as soon as you are out of earshot.
“We can do better than braggards, bores and philanderers,” Benedict shoots back, raising a pointed eyebrow.
She looks up at him and sighs. “Well, that is true.”
“As I thought, mother,” he winks as she affectionately swats his forearm. “Why not benefit from my knowledge? In fact, perhaps it is prudent I assist in your search for a suitor.” 
“Oh, is it now?” Her tone suddenly filled with intrigue, her face entirely too scrutinising for his liking. “And does not my second son wish to join their ranks?” She adds entirely unsubtly.
“I have no time for romance; I have my art. I am most preoccupied.” He waves a dismissive hand, but even he knows his answer is tellingly brusque.
“And yet, you do not seem too busy to assist with the search, dear…” she points out archly. 
Benedict has no response to that. 
The day after the grand ball, you are sat in the dappled shade in the gardens of Bridgerton House, attempting needlework. It's never been your strength, frankly. You would much rather be allowed to partake in more physical pursuits, like archery or fencing, a want to burn off nervous energy as you await the arrival of any suitors. You did end up dancing with a couple of gentlemen, both of whom were…. fine… in your estimation.  
After messing up yet another stitch, you throw down the embroidery hoop and emit a deep sigh when a familiar chuckle rings out behind you.
“Not your favourite pastime?” Benedict correctly guesses.
“You can say that again,” you grumble, twisting to smile at him, a little frisson in your belly at his mere presence, alone as you are.
He rounds to take a seat opposite you, across the table.
“So let me guess,” his face charmingly skewed into a thoughtful mien. “You would prefer to be doing something, hmmmm, more athletic?”
You giggle and cast your eyes downwards briefly, abashed he seems to know you so well. “Correct again.”
“I remember you being a crack shot in archery,” he smiles nostalgically before continuing with genuine curiosity. “Why did you not continue it?”
“I was informed ‘tis unbecoming for a lady,” you rue, the mental image of Mrs Parsons deeming such things ‘unladylike’ flitting through your mind.
He scoffs. “Since when did fearsome little Skylark care one jot for societal expectations?” he teases gently, with a wink, as again he invokes the nickname he bestowed upon you a long time hence. 
You smile briefly before you become more sanguine. “Since I have been informed I must find a husband…” you sigh.
He frowns a touch. “Any man would be lucky to have a wife who can keep him company on the archery field. I know I, for one, would greatly appreciate a spouse with whom I could share such a pastime.” 
A bittersweet twinge in your gut that one day he will indeed be married to some deserving, no doubt elegant, lady.
“I would venture that you are not like most gentlemen in that regard…”
“Perhaps not,” he agrees, looking thoughtful, “but then you are not like most ladies, Skylark.”
“I am not a lady…” your counterpoint softly-spoken, almost ashamed.
“You are more lady than any other member of the Ton,” he asserts, his gaze suddenly intense, as if he is willing you to believe his point. “And you should be free to pursue any pastime you wish.”
You say nothing, just smile wanly, wishing you could believe it was true.
How you constantly doubt yourself causes a little stab behind Benedict’s ribs. A sudden burning need to prove that you should do as you please. He slaps his thighs and stands up swiftly. 
“In fact, I am going to go set up the archery targets right now,” he nods decisively, making a beeline for the far corner of the garden where he knows the targets are kept, hoping you will follow.
“Coming?” he calls, twisting to look back at you. “I won't tell anyone…” he adds with a conspiratorial wink, seeing from the involuntary bounce of your leg how much you wish to join in. 
He cannot help the smile that engulfs his face as you jump to your feet with a mischievous giggle. Nor can he help deliberately aiming badly, letting you roundly defeat him at target practice, basking in the victorious glint in your eye as you tease him gently for losing. 
He also pretends not to notice his mother watching from a high window, her expression riveted and so very telling.
Later that day, you are reading quietly with Eloise when Violet sweeps into the drawing room with her lady's maid. 
“Y/n, Sir Denton is here to see you,” she smiles brightly. 
“Oh, I…” you stutter, sitting upright, surprised.
“I can send him away, Miss?”  The maid offers, intuiting your disquiet.
“No, no, it is fine… I am just surprised, that is all. ‘Tis almost 4pm. I was not expecting that anyone would be calling, given the late hour.”
Benedict suddenly materialises in the doorway. As ever, there’s that trademark flutter in your chest.
“Any reason Denton is lingering in the hallway?” he inquires airily, grabbing a teacup and pouring himself some.
“He is here for y/n,” Violet breezes as his eyes cut to you, a wave of irritation seeming to cloud his face.
“Well, we should dismiss him,” Benedict sniffs, pausing in his action, his face souring.
“Why?” Violet frowns.
“I had a chance to look into his past since I acquiesced to his dance with y/n last night…”
“Acquiesced?!” Violet scoffs, but Benedict ignores her interjection, save for a curt eyebrow raise.
“I have subsequently discovered he has vastly overstated his assets,” Benedict bristles imperiously.
“Who woke up and made you Anthony?” Eloise pipes up witheringly.
Benedict shoots her a look of irritation. “Anthony has deputised me to run family matters while he is away on business this week, sister,” he reminds pointedly.
“Yes, but you did not have to adopt his personality as well,” Eloise shoots back, disgust evident on her face.
“I take finding y/n here, a suitable match, seriously,” he volleys. “Do you wish to see your good friend married to someone unworthy of her?”
“Well, no…”
“Then kindly permit me to handle matters,” Benedict orders with finality, uncharacteristically forthright in his opinions.
“I do not wish to see her married at all…” Eloise mutters under her breath as he stalks away to dispatch Denton before anyone can argue.
You just sit there mildly dumbfounded, unsure what to make of it all. 
The following evening, you are attending a music recital with the Bridgertons; Benedict is notably absent, which makes you a touch melancholic in a way you don’t want to dwell on. 
However, the evening turns for the better while you are taking refreshments at the interval. A friendly-faced young man strikes up a conversation with you after an introduction from Violet.
“Are you enjoying the music tonight, Miss y/l/n?” he asks genially.
“It is very nice, Lord Glassborough,” you offer politely, trying to stifle your slight boredom. You enjoy music, but a two-hour concert is a little too much for you. You much prefer a short set of songs as they play at balls.
“I find it rather dull myself,” he opines quietly, leaning in. “I much prefer a lively song one may dance to.”
You know your face is a picture of surprise that his opinion is an exact mirror of your own.
“Have I offended you so?” he checks, looking mildly contrite.
“Not at all, my lord. I was actually just thinking the same myself,” you chuckle quietly.
He looks inordinately pleased and breaks into a friendly, toothy grin. He seems like a nice, agreeable sort. A pleasant, if not particularly handsome, face. Over his shoulder, you see Violet looking inordinately pleased you appear to be getting on so well.
“I am not sure I can do this...” you sigh as Ms West genially taps the metronome.
“You can, dear; just remember your finger placement,” she encourages as your fingers fall to the cool ivory keys.
And so you begin again. Attempting to master this tricky piece, your eyes tracing the lines of music as you play the pianoforte. Violet is so keen for you to brush up on your skills, given Lord Glassborough’s interest in you yesterday. You could not find an adequate excuse fast enough, and so here you are, in a slightly reluctant music lesson, trying your best to recall how Mrs Parsons taught you to play a few years ago.
“Men do so appreciate a lady who can entertain them with exquisite music,” Ms West nods approvingly as you play.
Mostly, you are relieved when you make it to the end with no mistakes, at least none glaringly obvious.
“I much prefer to sing…” you admit tacitly as Ms West shuffles the sheet music.
She looks at you surprised, then shoos you from the piano stool. “Sing for me then, my dear…” taking a seat and beginning the opening bars to a song that, fortunately, you know well.
You begin to sing along, growing more confident with every note, allowing yourself to get lost in the words, the story of a lady awaiting her true love.
“Exceptional!” she peals delightedly over the sound, and you feel bolstered to continue, her playing the perfect accompaniment.
Benedict stops short as soon as he enters the house. The most lilting, beautiful sound echoing gently down the marble hall.
“Who is that Jenkins?” he asks of the butler who takes his coat.
“I believe it is Miss y/l/n, sir.”
He draws inexorably closer, finding himself watching you through the crack in the doorway, listening to you sing a touching tale of love that sounds so hauntingly hypnotic in your mellifluous tones. Your eyes are closed, and you sway to the melody, lost in reverie, in the narrative you weave.
The piano stops abruptly.
“Can we help you, sir?” an elder lady calls crisply.
Benedict realises the door has crept open slightly before him, enough for him to be seen by your music teacher. He watches as you swing around and look horrified that you may have an audience. It makes him take a resolute step forward into the room.
“Do you need us to desist? Is it perhaps too loud?” the lady checks deferentially, likely assuming him to be the head of the household.
“No!” His reply is a touch too forceful. “Please continue,” he modifies. “I was merely drawn by the splendid sound I heard. I am not sure I have ever heard such a wondrous voice,” he adds, keeping his gaze steadfastly upon the lady, not able to look you in the eye as he confesses as such. 
You are mortified when you realise Benedict heard you singing; you have always managed to keep it private, until now at least. But now your heart is suddenly pounding at his extolling words.
“She does indeed have a most excellent voice,” Ms West concurs with his sentiment, looking at you expectantly as Benedict walks further into the room, his face with the same hopeful expression.
“I am not sure I can…” you stumble, nervous for an audience, most especially him;  his is the opinion that would matter to you the most—you would be crestfallen should he not like it.
“Sing more for me, please, Skylark?” His ask is gentle, beseeching as if it were just the two of you alone.
“Skylark?” Ms West sounds enchanted.
“My childhood nickname for Miss y/l/n,” Benedict explains as he takes a seat. 
“Skylarks have a wonderful song,” she sighs wistfully.
“Indeed,” Benedict chimes, his eyes still upon you. “I never knew how appropriate it was until this very moment.”
Something warm cracks in your chest at his sweet words, making you courageous. At least enough to nod when Ms West looks to you again from the piano. And so you restart the song for your special audience, heart in your mouth. The words coming easily to you, an extra layer of meaning he will never know as you sing words of unrequited devotion, looking to him in your braver moments. His face is enrapt, leaning forward, his eyes soft and expressive. 
As you reach a high note at the end of the song, holding it, Benedict bursts into applause, jumping up from his seat and taking you by surprise, grabbing your gloved hands in his.
“You should always be singing Skylark…” he pronounces. “Truly beautiful. Please promise me, no matter what happens, that you will always, always sing…” 
You duck your head briefly, unsure how to deal with his effusive praise. Ms West’s face is a picture as you stand there, your hands still trapped in his, feeling a tingle where the warmth of his skin seeps through the layers to yours.
“I-I-I promise,” you reply meekly, a touch dazed as you raise your eyes again to meet his, the intensity making your lungs restrict.
“Thank you.” 
Two words have never sounded so sincere or loaded with significance. 
III: … And I Do.
A few days later, it is the Trowbridge Ball, a decadent affair that is usually the most talked about of the season, apparently. You share a carriage ride there with Benedict and Eloise, trying your best not to stare at him—so handsomely dressed in a white cravat and black velvet cropped jacket that clings to his tapered shape. But mostly, you fail. Your skin flushes hot the more you look at him. You could swear that his gaze strays to you, too, subtly sweeping the fine teal silk Madam Delacroix has expertly tailored for you.
“You look beautiful this evening, ladies,” he offers politely to both you and Eloise.
“What do you want?” Eloise cuts across your reply, narrowing her eyes at her older brother, instantly suspicious of his flattery.
“Can I not compliment without an ulterior motive?” he frowns, their usual sibling dynamic emerging.
“Not usually,” Eloise sniffs, with another suspicious glance, before looking out the carriage window.
You take the opportunity to mumble your thanks to him. His responding smile warms your entire being, his hazy eyes lingering in a way that makes your skin prickle. And when he offers a chivalrous hand to assist you down from the carriage, you could swear his hand lingers upon yours a few seconds longer than is necessary. 
Around an hour later, as you go to partake in a refreshment, a sneering Lady Cowper utters something cruel under her breath as you pass, her sour-looking daughter smirking beside her. You do not hear all of the words, but you do not need to. One sideways glance tells you all that you need to know. It seems so unnecessarily cruel, never having even exchanged so much as a word with you, but even as you feel a lump in your throat, their attention is already elsewhere.
“Ah! Mr Briddgerton,” her entire demeanour changing to oleaginous charm, “my daughter looks particularly stunning tonight, does she not? I do believe you should secure a place upon her dance card before there are none left!” 
You watch Benedict blanch at the very words.
“I do not dance, Lady Cowper, but I bid you ladies a good evening,” he responds, polite but firm.
You try your hardest not to giggle at the disdained look on their faces as he sweeps past them, and you feel light as air as, instead, he draws up to you and winks.
“That woman does not realise she is doing her daughter’s prospects more harm than good with her brashness,” he comments dryly as he grabs a glass of champagne from the stand next to you.
“I am not so sure the daughter would do much better without her; she seems perpetually furious about her own hairstyle,” you opine sardonically, making Benedict snort loudly into his champagne glass. A lightness fizzles in your being as he shoots you a look of unmistakable admiration for that remark.
“I daresay you are a much better dancer than her,” he contends, not breaking eye contact, placing aside his drink before leaning in and continuing in a hushed voice. “Perhaps you would do me the honour of a dance, Skylark, to confirm my suspicion?”
There is a vault in your chest as he employs your private nickname in public and, not only that, is offering you a dance when, just a moment ago, he declared publicly that he would not. 
You can only nod, heart hammering, as he breaks out into the most handsome smile, offering you his arm and leading you to the centre of the room as you hear a ripple go through the nearby crowd. Apparently the sight of one Benedict Bridgerton taking to the dancefloor is a rare occasion indeed.
As he takes your gloved hand in his and curls an arm around your shoulder, he realises this was perhaps a mistake. An impromptu offer, the hollow thrill of petty revenge for the insult he observed the Cowpers sling at you. But now he realises it has rather backfired upon him.
He cares not a jot for the gossiping, people nodding and pointing to you both as you begin to dance. No, the problem is much more concerning than that. 
It is how discombobulated he feels having you in his arms.
How your body seems to fit and move perfectly with his. How, when you dare to look up at him, his mouth goes a little dry. He has never truly noticed how striking your eyes are until seeing them this close. Indeed, the evident beauty of your face, the way you seem to glow from within, more tonight than ever. It makes his chest - and somewhere else on his body - feel entirely too tight.
Nothing could have prepared you for this.
The feeling of literally being swept off your feet. With Benedict's handsome face smiling down upon you as you seem to float around the dancefloor. 
Surely, this is what dreams are made of?
You know it is a flight of fancy, but it seems as though the floor beneath your feet is a shower of diamonds rather than candlelight refracted through chandeliers. The warmth and strength of Benedict’s embrace caged around you, respectful but so close it makes your lungs feel too small to gasp the air you need to keep moving. But you never want to stop. A whirlwind of sensation as you twirl, carried away by the music, the man, the moment.
“Thank you, Benedict,” you breathe, knowing you are likely looking up at him far too adoringly but unable to mask it, a burning need for him to know how grateful you are for this dance, not even noting your over-familial use of his first name at a society event. 
His eyes flash and you could swear they dilate a fraction before you must turn your back to him, following the steps.
“I was right,” he rumbles cryptically from behind you now, his large hands wrapped around yours as you hold them aloft together, following the moves of the dance. “It is indeed an honour to dance with you.” 
Your belly flares as you turn in unison and realise that you are now dancing right in front of Cressida, her expression murderous. It makes you bolder than you have ever been, tilting your head sideways a fraction so your cheek almost brushes Benedict’s, fuelled by the envy you feel seething from within her.
You could swear he sighs ‘Skylark’ as his hot breath tickles your ear, your chest pounding, a flavour in the air you can taste, a powerful stirring low in your belly.
Benedict knows this is a dangerous path and yet is powerless to do anything but walk it. Breathing your nickname into your hair as he inhales your scent, heightened by the movement of your dancing. A light, sweet floral perfume but underneath the smell of you, familiar from many years of friendship but altered now, more decadent, an undercurrent of tart berries that thrills and stirs deep within him. Even while knowing his ever-vigilant mother is watching, an inscrutable expression upon her face. 
He is almost grateful when the music ends before he does something foolish. But then you are staring up into his face, all doe-eyed expectant beauty and his tongue feels unexpectedly tied. He is almost grateful when an interrupting hand wraps around his shoulder.  
You watch Will Mondrich whisper in Benedict’s ear, and before you know it, he is offering apologies to you with a shallow, polite bow before hurrying away. Coming back to reality with a bump, you drift awkwardly from the dance floor, feeling judgy eyes upon you, suddenly flooded with concern your behaviour was entirely too wanton. 
Before your thoughts can spiral too far, however, someone materialises at your side.
“I do so hope your dance card is not full tonight, Miss y/l/n,” a newly-familiar, chipper voice cut in.
“Lord Glassborough,” you breathe; your relief at seeing his cordial face is palpable. “I am available to dance right now,” you smile politely, taking his proffered arm and letting him lead you back out to the spot you and Benedict had just vacated.
As the music begins and you move together, the difference is… noticeable. Gone is the frisson over your limbs, that excitement as if your skin could vibrate off your bones. Instead you feel comforted, almost a brotherly presence as he leads you in the dance. He is technically proficient, but it feels lacking—that tension, that heat burning in the space between you. It makes you yearn for Benedict even though he was just with you. It makes your stomach settle with a leaden weight you realise you will have to settle for less than what you truly desire.
Still distracted by your mental comparison, you absently acquiesce to his suggestion to take some air upon the terrace as the dance ends. You sense Violet, ever the vigilant chaperone, follow as he leads you into the cooler air outside. 
“Miss y/l/n…,” Lord Glassborough begins cautiously. You sense a nervousness in his being, pulling your full focus to him. “I think us most compatible, would you not agree?”
“We make most excellent friends, indeed, Lord Glassborough,” you hedge, not wanting to appear overzealous.
“And friendship is the most appropriate foundation to build something more… tender,” he argues with a smile. “I do believe I could offer you a most agreeable life.” 
There is a strange twinge in your chest as suddenly, you realise what this is. The moment everyone, except perhaps yourself, has been awaiting all season.
“I would be honoured if you would consent to be my wife, Miss y/l/n,” he humbly offers a sincere kindness shining in his eyes.
And there it is. An offer of marriage from a perfectly nice, respectable gentleman done in an appropriate manner. 
To one side, you see Violet clutch a hand over her chest, face delighted, even as you form fists within your delicate gloves, wishing this moment were not happening so soon after a truly breathtaking dance with the man of your dreams. Who is not the same man as the one before you, nervously shuffling from foot to foot, awaiting your reply. 
“I am honoured, Lord Glassborough,” you answer cautiously, bowing your head demurely. “This is a big decision to make. Please allow me time to give you my proper, considered answer?”
“Of course,” he bows chivalrously, his accommodating nature making this moment all the more bittersweet. He is indeed a lovely man. 
He is just not the one you want with every fibre of your being.
That night, you cannot sleep. Knowing you have the most significant decision of your life to make. So, in the small hours, you find yourself drifting to the deserted kitchen of Bridgerton House to do what you do best when you need to think calmly—baking. 
An activity you have grown up doing with Mrs Parsons. Many hours spent happily with flour dusting your hands, sun streaming into her grand but homely kitchen. A perhaps slightly maverick pastime for a lady of her social standing, with staff to do such things for her should she wish it, but so very enjoyable nonetheless. 
Throwing a large, heavy baking apron over your nightdress and robe, you potter around, the flagstone of the basement floor cold underfoot, a grounding feeling that stops your mind from racing too much.
You have no idea how to respond to Glassborough’s proposal. On one hand, he is a seemingly nice man, certainly of a good family. You are sure he would be a perfectly acceptable husband, unlikely to be mean or untoward. It is just… a nagging voice is telling you to turn him down despite him being an imminently sensible choice, your heart wanting, well, the impossible. A man that excites you, not just a safe, practical option.
You are onto your second batch of lemon and rosemary biscuits when a voice makes you jump out of your skin.
“What on earth…?”
There in the doorway is Benedict, looking confounded to find you here. The very man who makes your heart skip, always. He is dressed the most casually you have ever seen him— also barefoot, in a white frilled shirt and dark trousers, brocade braces slung around his hips. You swear you may have to grab the bench before you to stay upright.
“Y/n! We have cooks you can call upon at any time should you need food!” he fusses, instantly concerned, moving to ring a bell on the wall.
“No! Please do not!” You exclaim, rushing to stop him, grabbing his sleeve in your haste. “I-I enjoy baking. It is relaxing; it helps me to think.”
His brow knits and his eyes flick down to your hold on his sleeve, a warm vein pulsing under your fingertips. You snatch your hand away quickly, a blush staining your cheeks, mumbling an apology as you scurry back to your biscuit-making.
“Alright,” he concedes slowly, still appearing confused. “When I saw the sconces lit from the rear stairwell, I assumed one of the staff was still down here.”
You find it bemusing that he seems at pains to justify why he might also be in the kitchen, especially to you, a guest. This is Bridgerton House, and he is a Bridgerton. He may go wherever he pleases, surely? And yet here he is, doing so.
“I was rather hoping for some hot cocoa,” he explains with that soft, crooked smile that always makes your heart flutter.
“Oh! Well, umm, I could make you some cocoa?” you look down, wiping your hands upon your apron and moving to do so.
That you would make such an offer, as if seeing yourself as unpaid help, spurs him into action.
“No, you certainly will not!”  He decries, moving swiftly towards the larder before you can. “I am perfectly fine with some cold milk,” he assures, re-emerges with a bottle and pouring himself a glass, leaning back against the sink to take a sip.
Despite the lateness of the hour, he finds your heretofore secret pastime strangely fascinating. A lady who bakes. By choice. So he watches as you return to making your biscuit dough, entertained as you begin to beat the mixture quite furiously with a wooden spatula.
“Have those ingredients caused you some sort of personal offence….?” he jests lightly, nodding to the bowl.
He observes a flit of contrition across your face before you answer.
“I, umm, have a decision that I must make; baking helps me think,” you explain vaguely, then appear to rapidly change the subject. “I am, however, sure of one fact - some biscuits are a must to accompany milk. There is a completed batch over there.”
“Genius,” he opines with a wink, enthusiastically moving to grab one from the cooling rack you signalled to, delighting in the blush that darkens your cheeks. But he decides to push the topic you abruptly avoided. Concerned there could be a topic you are genuinely wrestling with. If his opinion on the matter can ameliorate your burdens, he would be most honoured to assist.
“What sort of decision must you make?” he inquires before temporarily losing the power of speech. There is an explosion of tart lemon and earthy herb on his tongue that melts into a buttery sweetness, utterly divine. “Lord alive, these are delicious!!!” he exclaims around the mouthful.
“Thank you,” you answer softly. 
You are always so modest about your talents; it sometimes makes him want to grab your shoulders and shake you gently. To make you see what he does. 
“To answer your question, it is a perplexing matter that needs serious consideration,” you explain, stopping short of detail. It appears you are not yet ready to share the news with him. Something about that makes him a touch sad, but he also does not want to pry if you are reluctant to divulge. 
Benedict swallows the bite he has taken, and you find yourself staring at the movement of his throat as he does. Knowing one thing to be true—if it were his proposal, you would not even hesitate for a split second. That wistful thought makes you suddenly melancholic, and you sigh, pushing aside your mixing bowl, realising this may be an issue baking will not fix.
“I do so hate to see you doubt yourself, Skylark,” he offers quietly after a beat, mien so earnest. “Trust yourself. You will find the right answer for your dilemma; I am certain of it.”
He is so remarkably supportive that, ironically, you almost want to scream at him.
“I should leave you to your thoughts,” his tone is gentle, reluctant.
“Please, there is no need, Benedict,” you try to assure. “To be honest, in all of this world, yours is the company I enjoy the very most…”
That truth is out of your mouth before you can censor it. 
You sheepishly glance over to be met by a surprised look on his face. He takes a few steps towards you, probably without realising it, and suddenly, he is very close, faint wisps of his woodsy, citrus cologne tickling your nose.
“And I, yours, Skylark…” he rumbles, his gaze falling to your lips. 
Time seems to stop, and you feel pinned under glass, staring up into his handsome face as he breathes slightly ragged, your body rioting as he engulfs your senses, definitely too close to be considered gentlemanly, polite…
…But then, he takes a sharp inhale and steps back as if coming to his senses. He turns heel with a hastily muttered goodbye, and before you know it, he is gone. Leaving you bewildered, your thoughts scattered.
The following day, Benedict is idly reading the paper, partaking in a leisurely lunch of tea and cake, when his mother swans in, reeling off a set of instructions for her lady's maid.
“Oh, and lastly, do not forget, we should secure an appointment with the modiste, in case Miss y/l/n should know her answer today…” Violet concludes breezily as she takes a seat.
“Yet another ball we must suffer, mother?” Benedict drawls drily, folding down his paper and taking a hearty bite of zesty lemon drizzle.
She shoots her son an exasperated look before neatly smoothing a serviette into her lap as she is served her usual afternoon Earl Grey by the butler. “Miss y/l/n will be in need of a wedding dress, Benedict, dear.”
He spits an array of crumbs onto his newspaper, coughing in shock. “She will need what?!?” he wheezes, barely recovering.
“Lord Glassborough proposed to Miss y/l/n last night, my dear, at the ball. She has yet to give her answer, but I am certain she will. They are a fine match,” Violet declares, taking a sip of tea.
“Why did she not mention it to me?” he mutters, more to himself than anyone, his forehead creasing heavily in a frown as he swallows the rest of his mouthful.
“Why would she have?”  
“We talked last night…” letting slip perhaps too much in his perplexed state, lost in his own tumbling thoughts.
“When last night? We returned from the ball very late,” a suspicious tone in his mother’s voice, belatedly releasing he should know better than to think aloud; she is sharp as a tack.
“I-I found Miss y/l/n baking last night… in the kitchen when I went for cocoa… she told me she had a dilemma she was wrestling with…” he admits, looking down at the paper, the words now a jumble before his eyes. “Mother do you think it is possible she will say yes??” Benedict's head snaps up, his heart suddenly pounding in his ears.
“She would be a fool not to,” Violet points out, raising a perfectly arched eyebrow at him. “Unless there was another, perhaps more wanted, proposal she could consider. Do you possibly know of one? Son?” 
Even he can read between those lines. 
“I-I am late,” he abruptly changes tack. “I promised to meet Anthony today to discuss the soil at Aubrey,” he bustles rapidly, standing and fleeing the room before he can allow his mother to see how much of a complete lie that is.
Benedict spends the afternoon at White’s, downing perhaps one too many whiskeys as he grills his fellow patrons upon the Glassborough family. Looking for any reason he can find to object to the betrothal while steadfastly refusing to examine why he feels so passionately about the subject. He also spends time checking the hefty tomes of Debrett’s the club holds.
He returns to Bridgerton House just as dusk settles in, the sky streaking red and pink as he enters.
“Where have you been, dear?” Violet asks as he rounds into the parlour.
“Researching,” he gruffs economically.
“What? Or rather whom?” Violet inquires, revealing she already has a firm idea of what she asks.
“I can find nothing wrong with him!”
Benedict paces, an energy emanating from his being as if he is rattled by that very fact.
“That is a good thing, is it not, son?” Violet reminds pointedly. “We want y/n married to a good gentleman…”
Benedict shoots her an exasperated look but relents. “I suppose…”
“Is not your reluctance perhaps for another reason, my dear?” Her question is gentle, if not particularly subtle.
He slumps into a wingback chair with a defeated sigh. “Go ahead. Say your piece, mother.”
“I have watched you, darling,” she begins gently, watching him tip his head back and screw his eyes shut. “I do not know exactly when, but your regard of Miss y/l/n has altered, and I am not the only one to observe it.”
Benedict's eyes fly open, and he tips his head down with a frown as his mother continues.
“Even Colin has marked a change in you. If you feel anything, my dear, then Miss y/l/n has the right to know. Before it is too late. The right to make an informed choice if you are bold enough to give her one. Son, I have only ever wanted my children’s happiness. And if your happiness lies somewhere that perhaps even you have not realised until now…. well then I encourage you to follow it. Follow your heart.”
Her impassioned speech suddenly makes the pieces of a jumbled jigsaw before his eyes arrange into a pattern, a way forward that is suddenly clear and sharply in focus.
It makes him leap to his feet, an urgency thronging in his being.
“Where is Miss y/l/n?” he almost barks. 
“I do not know,” Violet confesses, “but I do know she has not yet seen or written to Lord Glassborough,” she adds.
“Good…” he rasps, headed determined out of the room to find you.
The verdant lush grass is cool between your toes as you curl them over, sighing heavily, the night now dark, a twinkle of silver among the navy sky, soon to be black. The swing under the big oak, a refuge you have sought many times since staying at Bridgerton House, feels a particularly poignant place to be tonight as an internal war rages within you, your decision swaying back and forth as much as the wooden seat you are perched upon, the rope digging into your cheekbone as you slump against it, flummoxed.
You know what your answer to Glassborough should be. Indeed, what it should have been from the moment he asked. 
A resounding yes.
In every practical measure, this is the best possible outcome of your London season. A proposal from a thoroughly decent, acceptable gentleman, way above the station you were expecting, given your less than prestigious certainty of lineage.
And yet.
And yet.
There is a large part of you, your heart, that wants to turn down the proposal, foolhardy as that may be. Wanting to feel akin to what you felt as you danced with Benedict last night. You are not so foolish as to believe he would ever propose, but perhaps there is someone else out there for you that may evoke something similar for you? Even if only half, it would be enough. Enough for you to build a future around and feel contentment in your heart, to not just settle for what your head knows to be a sensible choice. 
Having searched the house, he rounds into the garden and stops short, heart leaping into his throat as he spies you, swaying gently upon the swing, looking thoroughly lost in thought. It makes his chest ache that you are so melancholic about a decision that should indeed be joyous. The selfish part of him celebrating, hoping that perhaps you are not. His memory recalls with perfect clarity how you have looked as lost as he now feels every time you have been close. The unbearable lightness of hope seizes his legs and draws him inexorably closer.
You whip around as you sense company and have to take a deep breath as your eyes fall upon Benedict. His face pinched with a restless intensity.
“I was hoping I would find you,” he exhales.
“You have,” you shrug, still confused by his crackling energy, him seeming in a rush to say something.
“Skylark, you deserve the very best of everything. Sincerely. And part of that includes that you should know the truth in the hearts of those lucky enough to know you…” a slight quake in his voice as he takes a step closer.
“Alright…” you respond cautiously, your brow creasing as you sense the nerves emanating from him.
You gasp as he rapidly drops to one knee before you, a hand clutched to his chest. 
“I have been a fool to not see it before now. My own ardent admiration for you, for your talents, for your beauty. I realise now, perhaps too late, that you are truly the most wondrous, precious being in this world. You may not always see it, but it would be my greatest honour to show you, every day, if you will permit me, what I see when I look upon you. What I have always seen if I am honest with myself. A light that shines brighter than any other, a bird that soars higher and sings more sweetly than any other. A soul that it would be a privilege to be bound to. I know it is perhaps the worst possible timing, seeing as you already have a proposal from a perfectly acceptable gentleman. Still, I could not let you get married without letting you know the contents of my heart.”
You are stunned. Speechless. 
Your heart pounds in your ribcage as you sit there stupified for what must be an age, Benedict looking upon you expectantly, breath slightly ragged from his long speech. Somehow, convincing yourself this could only be a dream. That the man you have adored since before you can remember has just made the most beautiful poetic confession of love you have ever heard. And it’s to you.
So, you do the only logical thing that comes to mind. Pinch your own leg. Hard.
Benedict is momentarily confounded at your actions.
“Owwww!” you yelp. “Not dreaming then…” is your muttered follow-up, rubbing your own knee as his face morphs into the most enormous grin, a lightning bolt of joy tearing through him as he realises what you are doing, that you can scarcely believe this is happening any more than he can.
“It is really me, Skylark,” he chuckles softly, seeing the way your eyes dilate rapidly as he can't help the lopsided grin that claims his face, a warmth behind his ribs that is just for you.
“I realise that now,” you sass back, and there is a stirring in his trousers at the tone you employ.
“I love you.” 
It's a reflex; he doesn't even realise he says it. But as soon as it's out of his mouth, it's like an invisible burden has been lifted from his entire being. The truth. Plain. Simple. Honest.
You know your face is aflame as you snap back at him, entirely without meaning to, but then he says three little words that tilt your whole world even more. 
“I-I-I love you too.”
You are bewildered when you say it aloud. 
 The truth. Plain. Simple. Honest.
“Marry me? Please. My darling, wonderful friend,” he implores, his bare hands grabbing yours, tingles shooting over you as your skin touches his.
“Yes!! I will!!!” you answer breathlessly, not even a second of hesitation. 
He leans in and captures your lips with his. They are warm and soft as they move gently with yours. And when he opens your mouth with his and his tongue rolls delicately over yours, it feels as if all the fireworks you have seen in the sky live now inside you, popping and exploding in a riot of colour. A whole new world of sensual pleasure is promised in that one move.
“Are you certain?” you murmur as you break apart for air, a flash of insecurity that this is happening so fast, even as there is a strong pull inside, a want to keep kissing him over and over.
He smiles, tilting his forehead to yours, a wistful look in his blue eyes.
“To know you, truly know you, is to love you, Skylark,” he sighs, his words a blanket settling over your quaking heart.  “And I do. I truly do.”
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Benedict taglist: @makaylan @foreverlonginguniverse @notanotheruniverse @iboopedyournose @aintnuthinbutahounddog @severewobblerlightdragon @writergirl-2001 @heeyyyou @enichole445 @enchantedbytomandhenry @ambitionspassionscoffee @chaoticcalzoneranchsports @nikaprincessofkattegat @baebee35 @crowleysqueenofhell @fiction-is-life @lilacbeesworld @broooookiecrisp @queen-of-the-misfit-toys @eleanor-bradstreet @divaanya @musicismyoxygen84 @miindfucked @sorryallonsy @cayt0123 @hottytoddyhistory @fictionalmenloversblog @zinzysstuff @malpalgalz @kinokomoonshine @causeimissu @delehosies @m-rae23 @last-sheep @panhoeofmanyfandoms @kmc1989 @desert-fern @corpseoftrees-queen @magical-spit @bunnyweasley23 @how-many-stars-in-the-sky @sya-skies
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605 notes · View notes
gglitch1dd · 2 days
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"Best husband in the world" award goes to Izuku Midoriya. I head cannon that he NEVER leaves the honeymoon phase, even after having kids!
Wifey is treated like royalty, Always gets gifts, he dresses up for dates bc his wife LOVES it, shows her off in gala's (one red-eyed hero is pissed) even the boys are so sick of seeing the random smooches Izu steals from his wife 😂
Bet Toshi would say "Don't you have enough kids already?" -_-
The poor boy is TIRED
Honestly, I believe in every single syllable that just came out of your mouth.
He never leaves the honeymoon phase. That man is in love from the moment he meets you to the moment he dies.
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If there was one thing that Midoriya Izuku knew that he couldn't get enough of, it was you. His beautiful wife of seventeen years. Everyday, waking up next to you was like a dream and he didn't want to be woken up.
He's enraptured by you and your very being. Even after five boys and you not getting any younger, he's still obsessed with you like you were newly weds.
He keeps every sticky note that you leave on his bento boxes for lunch and has boxes upon boxes of them saved from the years that have gone by. He would never deny anything you made him because it was made by you, his amazing wife, by your loving and gentle hands that he kisses daily.
Izuku honestly still doubts he's that good of a father or a perfect husband either, but he knows he's as good as he can be with you at his side.
You gave him everything that is his world. You made the apartment you both had in the beginning feel like a home. Coming home to your waiting arms and loving expression was what kept his feet moving everyday.
When he was a prohero he often wondered what he was missing in his life. Even though becoming Number One at such a young age and achieving his goal of being the next predecessor of All Might, of owning his own hero agency, millions at his disposal, he only ever felt truly complete when he met you.
You...
Oh dear God, he loved you.
The day he married you was the best day of his life. He had cried the moment he saw you in that beautiful white dress and he had cried when you had both signed the marriage certificate, and he had cried when he had his first dance with you too.
He knew from the first day he met you that he wanted to marry you. He didn't believe in just dating for funsies and wasting your time. No, he wanted you in a sort of way he didn't know how to explain.
He wanted you in way that was to have and to old, in sickness and in health, in life and in death. Knowing that when he looked down at you on your wedding night, when he had you in his arms, your breath heavy and your eyes half lidded, when you stared up at him with such blown out love in your eyes. When he sunk deep inside of you, he knew that your souls would become one and he would never depart from you.
Where you went, he went.
Where you stayed, he would stay.
It's not true what they say about heroes, least not for Izuku. For Izuku would watch the world burn and have you by his side.
"Dad!"
"Hm?" Izuku straightened up as he was lost in thought. Toshinori waved his hand over his face, making sure that his father was still alright. He raised a green eyebrow as he looked up at his father. "Are you alright? You spaced out for a second there."
Izuku looked down at his oldest son. Midoriya Toshinori.
Wow, even just the thought of him having a son still shook him till this day. The thought that he, a man that grew up without a father, who at one point believed he wasn't worth anything more than what other people said he was worth, could have a son.
A son, you gave him.
He could still remember the day you told him that you were pregnant with Toshinori. Izuku had gone to sleep with you in his arms, a hand over your stomach still unbelieving but he was sure he had soaked his pillow because of the tears that left his eyes.
You had blessed him with a gift that he could never even begin to comprehend how uniquely special it was.
"I'm alright." Izuku laughed as he went down the final step of the staircase, having just freshened up. "Have you finished your homework?"
Toshinori nodded his head as he put his hands in his pockets. "Yah but honestly, all that math had me going cross-eyed. I'm having Asahi look at it." He motioned to his younger brother, but a mere eleven.
Asahi adjusted his glasses as he scribbled down on the tablet with a stylus. He scoffed as he lifted his head to look up at his father. "Honestly dad, Toshinori just needs a prayers. Only Jesus can help him now."
"HEY!" Toshinori let out offended as he walked over to where his younger brother was sitting at the table.
Asahi motioned to the tablet. "This is basic maths!"
Toshinori's eyebrows furrowed. "How the hell is this basic maths?! It's grade nine level algebra!"
"As I said, basic maths!"
"Alright Einstein!" Toshinori taunted his younger brother with a look on his face and hands on his hips that reminded Izuku so much of you. "You do it!" He pointed to the screen.
Asahi rolled his eyes as he flipped the screen so that Toshinori could see. "Do you need my glasses, cause I already did!"
His second son, Midoriya Asahi. Honestly, Izuku was sure that in Asahi he saw himself. He saw himself in that kid everyday and he loved every second of it. His second son.
That you gave him.
He was so smart and so bright. A genuine child genius. Although quirkless, he was beyond his years. Izuku loved to sit down with him and watched as his mind thought at the speed of light at a pace that only Izuku could understand because he did that too.
Nothing beat having Asahi on his shoulders as he took him to the Hero Support labs in his Hero Agency. The way that kids eyes widened in awe is something Izuku would treasure forever. Having him interact and ask questions that not even Izuku could understand but was happy to participate regardless.
To think he could ever have such a kid.
"Asahi." He chuckled as he walked over to his second son, putting a hand on his head of green curls. "Be patient with him, remember not everyone learns as fast as you."
Asahi huffed, his cheeks that had light freckles on them puffed but he nodded his head. "Okay." He groaned.
"What are we doing?" Hero asked as he peaked his head over to see the tablet that was on the table. He took one look at the tablet and his face scrunched up. "Ew maths." His reaction made Izuku laugh as he decided to leave his two eldest be. "Dad catch!"
It was a fast throw but Izuku caught it nonetheless. The rugby ball in his hand was firm and in perfect condition, considering he got it for Hero three weeks ago. The kid went through equipment faster than Izuku could break a bone.
Midoriya Hero, although being eight years old, he was entranced with sports and was pretty good at them too, specifically field sports. Izuku felt like somewhere inside himself he was healing the little boy inside of him that never got to play sports with someone, not like the way him and Asahi would play around with a ball in the garden.
Something so precious yet so simple.
Something that was only possible because of you.
Izuku chuckled. "Nice throw. You're getting better, but remember..." He tossed him back the ball, it landing in his arms. "Not playing around inside with the ball."
"Okay." He nodded as he left to go to the sitting room.
"And did you do your homework?" Izuku called back after him.
"Yah! Asahi looked at it."
Izuku turned to his second oldest who shot him a thumbs up, showing that Hero was telling the truth. He hummed with a smile as he moved towards the kitchen where the smell of dinner was spilling out from.
"Daddy!" Running out of the kitchen was his fourth son, Shoyo. He had the brightest little smile on his face as he lifted up a crayon picture for him to see. "Daddy look! I drew you something."
Izuku chuckled as he picked up the little boy. He was the happiest out of all your children together. Even when he cried, he would try to smile. He was like the sun and always filled with giggles. It was why you called him Shoyo, because he smiled even as a newborn.
Izuku knew that such joy in his life could have only been given through you.
"Really? let me see?" He carried the young boy on his hip as he looked down at the drawing. It was a crayon drawing of what he assumed was him in his hero uniform. That or it could be a bunny with a cape.
Shoyo was never really gifted with artistic talent but he tried anyways. And Izuku loved them all.
"Aww, it looks great buddy." He placed a kiss to Shoyo's face. "I love it. Why don't you go put it in my office for me? I can put it right on my desk."
Shoyo's smile grew even wider as he nodded his bushy hair of green curls. "Okay!" Once set down, he went trotting away towards the staircase.
Izuku entered the kitchen and sitting on your hip was Koda, the final sprout in your little garden that was your family. He was a rather shy thing and clung to you like a baby koala, but he sure was the sweetest. He smiled at his father tiredly with a wave of his hand.
He often fell sick easily, but he was such a strong trooper.
He put a hand to his head as he carefully moved the young three year old to be held in his arms instead, allowing you free reign over the kitchen.
Your heavenly voice reached his ears, instantly taking his attention. You smiled as you turned to look up at him. "How was your day, my love?"
His shoulders eased as he moved to step behind you. He rested his head against you briefly, your body just fitting into his perfectly. "I can't complain when I come back home to this everyday." He stated, moving down to kiss your cheek.
You chuckled as you lifted up the spoon for him to taste part of dinner. He opened his mouth, allowing you to feed him to taste. He let out a groan as he nodded his head. You laughed at your husband's antics. "Ready?"
"Definitely." He informed you with a nod of his head. He looked you over as you stood in an apron and fitted sweatpants. He hadn't seen you in those pants in ages and yet they clung to you like a deadly weopon and Izuku was a wounded soldier. His eyes looked you over with shameless obviousness. "Damn, where did these come from?" He asked as he moved to turn you to face him, a hand moving to your ass shamelessly.
You shot up with a heated expression with a squeak. You swatted his chest with little to no intent to actually drive him away. "Izuku! I'm cooking."
"Can't I appreciate my beautiful wife?" He asked with a rested grin on his face as he leaned down closer to you. A soft peck to your lips. "You look gorgeous, honey." His lips met yours again for a longer kiss.
You couldn't help but giggle as you let him kiss you, moving a hand to wrap around him. He always managed to give you butterflies, even now.
Years of being together, of mapping out each other's bodies and memorising everything new and old, and you never got tired of it. Even after five pregnancies and the effect that had on your body, Izuku just craved you more and more. He never asked you to change, and always loved you as you were.
How couldn't he?
You were the reason that he was happy, that he had everything that made him feel like a man.
You made him a husband.
You made him a father.
You made him happy.
Izuku couldn't even begin to think of where to thank you, but he would do so for the rest of his life.
"EW! Dad! Get off of mom!" Toshinori shouted from the table with a scrunched up face.
Hero scrunched up his own face. "That's disgusting."
"Right over our dinner." Asahi shook his head in sheer disappointment.
You separated from you husband with a giggle as he looked to his sons with half annoyance. You turned to grab a serving spoon but Izuku adjusted poor Koda who was resting in his arms as Izuku pointed to his sons. "Hey! This is my wife, okay. I get to kiss her."
"Yah." Toshinori acknowledged. "But she's our mom."
Asahi and Hero nodded their heads in agreement with their older brother.
Izuku frowned before he turned to you. "Y/N, the kids are being mean to me." He complained as he pointed to your three eldest siblings.
You shook your head in a chuckle as you motioned to your sprouts. "Boys, get your homework off the table and set it for dinner please."
"Yes mom."
"And you, mister." You turned to your husband with a pointed look but smiled as you had your hand rest over his chest. You smiled as you reached up and kissed his cheek. "Get Shoyo for me, won't you? And sit down, dinner is ready." You let out softly.
Izuku looked down at you with blown out pupils. "I love you." He whispered down to you.
You giggled. "I love you too, Izuku."
"No, Y/N, I... I love you."
-Glitch1d
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eggyrocks · 2 days
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hi! #71 (second list) with suna rintarou pls? thank you!
this one i am very very excited abt
500 followers special: #71 “Kiss me, quick!”
suna x gn reader, fake dating trope, parties, drinking, not smut but kinda slutty, suna is slightly possessive/possessive language is used, not proofread
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Suna's nursing a bottle of beer. He's leaned up against the living room wall at a stranger's house and he looks just as bored as he always does. "This is stupid."
They're in the middle of emptying a shot glass down their throat when he speaks, and once they straighten out, throat still burning, they say, voice thick with a slick coating of alcohol, "Well, you already agreed, so no backing out now."
On the opposite side of the room, stands their ex. Tall and handsome and a complete fucking dickhead. Just the sight of them makes their teeth grind together. The sound of their laughter ringing across the room is worse.
Suna notices this. He notices the way the tense up, lip furled up in disgust and frozen into place like a hissing cat. He takes a swig of his beer before he speaks. “I don’t know why you’re bothering to make him jealous if you hate him so much.”
They’re fidgety, smoothing out the front of their jeans with sweaty palms and trying not to look over in their ex’s direction. They give Suna a too-sweet-to-be-real smile. “Because. I don’t want to make him jealous so he wants me again. I want to make his jealous so it hurts his fucking feelings.”
He scoffs, and gives him a half-hearted eye roll, but offers nothing as a rebuttal, except another gulp of his beer as they lean against the wall beside him, closer than they usually would.
They blink up at him. "Is he looking? Can you tell?"
"Nope," he answers easily without having to turn his head. Suna'll know. He's felt those stares on the back of his head plenty of times before while they were dating.
It's obvious to Suna why it has to be him, out of all their friends. Because their shit ex (whose name he can't remember and never bothered to learn) never liked him, never trusted him, caused arguments over him. Their ex was obsessed with him, convinced that Suna wanted what was his.
And so what if he was right.
They groan, bottom lip out in a pout. "He was staring at me nonstop like twenty minutes ago."
"Cause you look good in that outfit," he says. "Probably planning on trying to get you back."
"Fat fuckin' chance," they chuckle.
They want to look over, want to see if he's looking yet, because they know he will be, eventually. Nervous energy has them bouncing on their heels. "Just relax," Suna tells them, leaning in closer, placing his free hand over the curve of their neck. The contact makes goosebumps erupt over their skin. "He's glanced over a couple times," he says, much softer now, "I'll tell you when he's looking."
Suna's close now, much closer than they're used to, intense eyes not leaving their face. The proximity makes their throat feel dry, and the nerves that bundle in their gut multiple.
His touch is light, and, for some reason, it makes their skin burn. His fingers on their neck and the intensity of his stare, for just a fraction of a second, makes them forget exactly what they're here at this stupid party to do.
Suna grins when he says, "He's looking now."
And it snaps them back into reality. "Fuck okay, kiss me, quick!" they command, trying to keep the panic they feel in their chest from leaking into their voice.
They can already feel the heat from Suna's breath fan across their face from how close he is, but when he lets his eyes flutter shut, they are frozen in place, eyes still wide open.
He leans in slowly, not at all rushing like they asked him to. His nose bumps into theirs, lightly knock their head back, giving him easier access to their lips. The lowest part of their gut clenches, and suddenly the noise in the room feels like a distant buzz.
Suna's eyes are still closed. His hand creeps up their neck to spread his fingers out among the roots of their hair. "You want me to?" he asks.
And they're not sure what exactly it is that Suna's asking. But they know that, no matter what the question really means, the answer is yes. They give him a nod in confirmation, not trusting their voice.
He is so agonizingly close it makes every inch of their skin radiate heat. "Not good enough," he whispers, just for them to hear. "Say it out loud for me, so I know you mean it."
They swallow. "I want you to kiss me," they manage without stuttering.
Suna's in no rush. He chuckles, eyes opening up for a second to take in their blown out pupils and slightly parted lips. And it's only after he takes a moment to savor that sight that he tightly grips at the roots of their hair, pulling their head back slightly, and leans in to kiss them.
Suna does not kiss them in a way that's meant to make someone else jealous. He kisses them in a way that's meant to mark his territory. In a way that lets everyone around them now, this person is his, no one else's.
It makes their head dizzy, like they've run out of blood, and now they're too weak in the knees to stand upright on their own, so they have to grip tightly onto the front of Suna's shirt, just so they don't collapse.
And maybe this was part of their ulterior motive, an outcome that they were silently hoping for when they asked Suna for help and begged him just to play along. But they were not expected it to be anything like this.
Suna pulls away, eliciting a small whine from them that makes him smirk. "Do you think it worked?" he asks, hand still tangled in the back of their hair.
They blink up at him, chest heaving and slightly breathless. "Did what work?"
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an: hope u enjoy <3333
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piftamere · 1 day
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left unsaid - gojo satoru
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synopsis : you tell him you love him for the first time and he freezes completely.
wc : 1k
tags : hurt/mild comfort, bittersweet ending, some miscommunication?
a/n: i was in a weird mood and wrote this in class, so enjoy this little angsty fic :P idk if this has been done before but 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️, gojo is so First love/Late spring coded to me
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Satoru was sitting on the pavement in front of your house.
How long had he been there, waiting for you to come back out ?
Going over everything you said, everything he didn’t, everything he wished he did.
Replaying the "what ifs" over and over, his head in his hands, fingers entangled in the white strands of his hair.
You told him you loved him for the first time and he froze completely.
You must hate him now, he’s sure of it, how could you not when you bared yourself in front of him and he froze. He hates himself too. Maybe it’s for the best, you walking away now, before he can hurt you any more, before you hurt him.
It’s raining hard, he notices, he’s not sure when it started though, it must have been a while ago, because he’s soaked to the bones. But it’s far down the list of his priorities at the moment.
Satoru doesn’t hear the door opening, or the footsteps getting closer, doesn’t hear you call out his name. Everything drowned by the sound of the rain, by his own thoughts. He flinches when you place your hand on his shoulder.
“Satoru? What are you still doing here? You’re drenched…”
He’s staring at the ground, barely acknowledging your presence.
“Come on, let’s go inside.” You reach for his hand to pull him inside, but he won’t budge. His skin is ice cold. He turns to look at you, eyes filled with tears, and your heart sinks into your chest. He opens his mouth to speak but the words refuse to come out. He looks down, defeated, as he gets up to follow you inside.
He makes a few steps before stopping, his hold on your hand tightening.
“I’m sorry,” he mutters, “I’m sorry I couldn’t say I l-” he chokes up, still unable say it.
You don’t turn around, not sure if you can stop yourself from crying if you look at him right now.
“I know, I’m sorry too.”
The sky is darkening, tiny droplets are starting to fall, you’re both laughing as you run hand in hand to your house. You spent the day together at an amusement park, stuffing your faces with sweets.
He stops a few feet from your door, circling his arms around your waist.
“Toru, what are you doing? We’re gonna be wet” you don’t try to get out of his grasp, instead walking closer to him as you chuckle, and he smiles fondly at you.
“It’s just a little water.”
“True...” you reply, wrapping your arms around his neck and tiptoeing to give him a peck on the lips.
He shakes his head no, grinning, “Not good enough, try again”
So you do, who are you to refuse your boyfriend a proper kiss?
As you pull away, you decide you’re ready to tell him what’s been on your mind for weeks. You take a deep breath.
“Toru?” he hums to let you know he’s listening, “I love you”
You wait for him to say something, anything, not necessarily to say it back, but at least to acknowledge it. Instead he freezes, like a deer caught in headlights.
Your arms drop by your side. “Toru?”
“I just...” he starts rambling, “I’m sorry, I don’t-”
You cut him off, you don’t mean too but you’re raising your voice now. “You don’t? Fine, forget I said anything Satoru.” You walk away, almost running, trying your best to hide the tears forming in your eyes, but the cracks in your voice betrayed you already. All he can do is watch you leave.
You’re both inside, in silence. You try not to think about what just happened, so you make him a cup of tea to warm him up, and give him a towel.
“I put sugar in it, just how you like it.” You're uncomfortable, not knowing how to act around him anymore.
The air is thick, you’re having trouble breathing so close to him.
“Listen I-”
“You don’t have to say anything Satoru, it’s ok-”
“Please let me speak”, he cuts you off as he looks up from his cup, his eyes are pleading, still red and puffy from crying. Caught off guard, you simply nod and sit down as far away from him as possible.
“Earlier when you told me… that, I wasn’t expecting it, it left me speechless. But I didn’t mean that I don’t care about you, because I do, you’re the most important person to me, I need you to know that.” His voice is hoarse, he looks so desperate, a tear rolling down his cheek. You want to wipe it, to comfort him more than anything, but you stop yourself.
“You can’t even say it out loud?” You can guess why it’s so hard for him, the last time he loved someone it ended terribly, still your heart aches, and you find yourself wishing he would just leave.
“I’m sorry, I wish I could... but the words get stuck.”
“Do you think you’ll ever be able to say it?” Your voice shakes.
“I don’t know. I think so?” He offers you a timid, hesitant smile.
He reaches out towards your hand, holding it like it’s made of porcelain, “I’m so scared of losing you.”
Satoru is your only weakness. You can’t stand seeing him so vulnerable. It’s impossible not to cave in.
So you do. You let him hold you, caging you in his arms, his face hidden in the crook of your neck.
He takes a deep breath in. “Did you just sniff me?” You chuckled.
You feel him smile against your skin, relieved to hear you stopped crying.
“Maybe.”
“Weirdo.” you whisper.
The topic is still hanging over your heads. You’ll most likely have this conversation again, soon, when you’re both strong enough to stomach it. But in this instant, you can feel each other’s heartbeats, your tears are drying and as the rain stops, everything is fine.
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mandarinmoons · 8 hours
Text
Spencer was lying on his couch completely motionless, cradling a book into his chest, the same book that you had gifted him. His eyes were bloodshot from crying and a lack of sleep, it had been nearly two weeks since you passed, two weeks since he hadn’t been able to save you.
It was quiet in the apartment, usually the ticking sound of the grandfather clock could be heard in the background, but it hadn’t been wound in a good while and Spencer hadn’t noticed it. His mind was too busy playing back the last scenes of seeing you alive, a vicious cycle that he had no control over.
Sometimes Spencer swore that he heard your voice when he closed his eyes, it felt so lifelike that his eyes shot open and he frantically looked from side to side hoping, praying that all the events that took place were a horrible dream and that you were safe and still with him. However, when the silence was the only thing to be heard and he noticed that he was still wearing your cardigan, the hope came crashing down and his head hit the pillow again in a thud, it wasn’t real, it was his mind playing tricks on him again.
When his body gave in and Spencer finally fell asleep, his dreams were all filled with you. The two of you sitting at a table in a cafe, soft music playing in the background and the smell of the freshly brewed drinks filling your noses.
Spencer would slide his arm over the table to take your hand in his, but your hand would feel cold. The only time he was able to hold it was when he ran toward your lifeless body and took your hand in his to feel for a pulse that wasn’t there anymore.
Spencer would feel his chest tighten in his dream, but the image of you in his mind wouldn’t let him associate your passing with the last moments of seeing you alive. The dream version of you was determined to remind him of all the joyous times spent together instead, all the time spent sending each other letters, which later turned to phone calls. Spencer still remembers the first time he heard your laugh and how he knew that it would become one of his favorite sounds.
As time went on Spencer felt your hand getting warmer and the hold you had on him felt stronger. Spencer didn’t know what was going on, but the dream no longer felt like a dream, but as if it was a moment in real life. Your face was no longer hazy and he could clearly make out all of your features. He knew that this could be his final time seeing you and he wanted to treasure it as much as he could.
Eventually he woke up and saw that hours had passed, it was his first time having a proper sleep in weeks and he finally felt a bit lighter. What had happened made absolutely no sense to Spencer, it could’ve been his brain protecting him from any further emotional pain, or, maybe it was you coming to him in his dreams to tell him that you’re alright, whatever it was, he was thankful for it.
Taglist: @radioactiveinvisible @whoisspence @sreidisms @lanascinnamongirls @luvkatryna @sp3ncelle @iluvreid @khxna @keiva1000 @reidstheyfriend @hiireadstuff @pleasantwitchgarden @cynbx @kimm4710 @niktwazny303 @reidsdaisies @mindfullycriminal @cumulo-stratus @themarauderseraslut @gayfor-rosadiaz
If you want to be a part of my taglist go here!
You can find my masterlist here!
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diazsdimples · 14 hours
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hey james! for buddie or bucktommy. i’m making you choose jsdjskf “why are you looking at me like that?”
Hey Nolan!! I'm gonna do Bucktommy for this one, if you don't mind!!
"Why are you looking at me like that?" Tommy asks as he once again catches Buck staring. Buck flushes deeply, a pretty pink running up his neck and into his cheeks until he feels like his whole face is on fire. Never before has he been with someone so skilled at reducing him to a giggly, blushing mess like Tommy can. It's like Tommy has a direct line to the "Idiot Centre" in Buck's brain and can activate it with a simple look or a few well timed words. "I-I'm just - I mean, I wasn't - looking at you like what?" Buck stammers. Honestly, he's got no excuse for the way he was gazing at Tommy, all lovesick and dopey like a highschool girl. His boyfriend is hot and he's still a giddy that Tommy's with him at all. So he stares at him sometimes? Sue him! Tommy grins, his nose scrunching in a way that has Buck's stomach go all fluttery, and he rounds the kitchen island so he's no more than a couple of inches away from Buck. Close enough to have Buck's heart rate going up a couple of notches, but still too far. He needs him close, needs to be able to feel Tommy's chest press against his as he breathes, needs to feel Tommy's lips brush his as he speaks, needs to feel Tommy's co- Okay yeah, he's getting a little carried away. It's not his fault. "You were looking at me the way a 2000's teen girl would have looked at Justin Bieber whenever he flicked his hair," Tommy teases, and Buck wishes a hole would open underneath him and swallow him up. "I was just-" he begins, going redder still when Tommy crosses his arms and watches him with a half-smirk, his head cocked to the side. He looks far too adorable for his own good and it's not helping Buck's dilemma at all. "You're cute," he finishes lamely, unable to meet Tommy's eyes because he just knows Tommy is going to be looking at him with that soft, amused look on his face, like watching Buck bumble and ramble his way through their relationship is his favourite pastime - which, it probably is. "I'm cute," Tommy repeats, and Buck can hear the delight his voice. It's mortifying. It's humiliating. He's going to run away and live in the forest and become a hermit and - Suddenly Tommy's lips are on his and oh, yeah that's okay then, Buck can go with this. Buck can definitely get behind kissing Tommy if it means he doesn't talk and make even more of a fool of himself. Plus, Tommy's got this way of completely taking Buck apart with his lips, kissing him so thoroughly that he forgets his own name, forgets every little detail about himself except that he's kissing Tommy. Tommy pulls away and Buck pants, a little breathless from the kiss. Their foreheads rest against one another and their breaths mingle, warm and heavy and full of affection between them. "Well the good news is," Tommy says, his voice husky enough that it sends little shivers of joy down Buck's spine, "I think you're cute too." What else is Buck meant to do than blush once again?
Send me a ship and a sentence and I'll finish it!
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sl0t4matt · 2 days
Text
p. gonzalez | whipped (requested)
warnings: smut! 18+
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“pedriii!” you call out for him from your bed. “what is it, baby? are you okay, do you need something?” he asks while sprinting to the bedroom.
“can you get me some mc donalds, pretty please i’m not feeling well.” you fake a cough. “you’re so dumb. yeah i’ll get you your mc’s.” he rolls his eyes.
“thank you, my whipped boyfriend!” you giggle.
pedri has always been a bit embarrassed when you would point out how obsessed with you he is.
he is a complete different person with his friends, which confuses them, how can he act so soft with you and do anything for you, when just the other day he told cancello to fuck off because he asked him to bring his water bottle that was literally beside him.
“you’re so fucking weird.” he shakes his head grabbing his wallet and keys from the night stand. “don’t act like you don’t love it.” you furrow, throwing a pillow at him.
he looks at you with a questioning look as you miss him, trying not to laugh. “i want those-.” you start but you get interrupted by him sighing. “nuggets and fries.” he finishes for you.
“okay cute bf move, remembering my order huh?” you taunt, smirking. “shut up.” he laughs before leaving to get your food.
not much longer than ten minutes he gets back with your order. you jump out of the bed, not even bothering to dress up, still being in pedris calvin’s and a way too tight barca jersey pedri bought for you back when he didn’t know your size yet.
you smile jogging up to him, instantly regretting it because of how your tits hurt while jumping. you immediately snatch the bag from him.
you peek in seeing both of your things and a few burgers for if you’re still hungry. he knew you so well.
“woah! where are you going, get back here.” he says turning you around by your waist. “ahh get off me you weirdo!” you say trying to push him away.
he smirks, watching you try to push him away. “you look so good in my jersey, ma” he whines.
he spins you around checking out how your butt looks in his boxers. he bites his lips shaking his head.
“you can get it later, pretty boy. your girl has a whole mc’s meal waiting on her.” you smirk even though you couldn’t care less about the food now. you’re soaked.
“i don’t think so.” he shrugs picking you up. you shriek. “pedri, you dumb shit let me down!” you scream.
he opens the door to the bedroom and drops you on the ground, making sure you stand on your feet though.
you hit his chest chuckling. he looks down on you, eyes on your tits. he couldn’t help it, the way your nipples were peeking out due to the tightness of the jersey.
“you know you normally look a girl in the eyes.” you roll your eyes dramatically.
“oh yeah?” he chuckles pulling you closer by the waist. “mhm.” you try letting his deep voice not distract you.
“sorry then,baby.” he mumbles, lips millimetres away from yours. “shut up and kiss me.”
he didn’t need to hear you twice, instantly meeting your lips in a heated kiss.
you tilt your head for him to deepen the kiss. your tongues meet, the only sound in the room heard being your lips smacking.
you gasp quietly as he lightly pushes you in the bed, tugging your clothes off.
he starts sucking on your nipples, then moving his mouth further down to your belly and thighs, dangerously close to where you need him the most. “look at you all wet already and i haven’t even done anything yet.” he mumbles “pedri..” you almost whine.
“patient, ma.” he says looking up at you biting your bottom lip. “you look so good.” he pecks your lips, before pulling your panties to the side.
his cold breath meets with your core, sending shivers down your spine.
he blows it softly making you shut your legs at the sudden coldness.
he chuckles parting your legs again.
his tongue meets with your cunt, licking it before wetting his fingers with sucking them then plumping them in you. you blow out a breath, your head falling back.
his tongue keeps licking and sucking your clit, letting the most unholy sounds out of you. your hand moves to his head pulling him closer, needing to feel him deeper.
your hips buckle up, in need for a release. “you like that, ma?” he mumbles in between licks. you roll your eyes. “shut up.”
suddenly he hits your g spot, that had you screaming out his name every time finds it. you link your legs in between his head, clutching his hair.
he squeezes your thighs, repeating to go over your sweet spot until your thighs between his head begin shaking as you come in his mouth. the doesn’t fail to swallow every last drop of you.
his head shoots up face sweaty and chin dropping with cum. he wipes his mouth with the bed sheets then kisses you, making you taste yourself. “fuck, you taste good.” he let’s himself drop beside you on the bed.
you breathe out a laugh, putting your head on his chest, hearing his heart pounding.
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sophiethewitch1 · 2 days
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www!reader WILL call batman a pussy for not killing on her private twitter. she does it like every other day. its cathartic
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vettelsvee · 1 day
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EACH OTHER BEST KEPT SECRET | Sebastian Vettel
f1 masterlist | wattpad | ao3 | instagram
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sebastian vettel x carlos gf!reader
summary: seb's is feeling like shit and the only thing that will make him feel better is having a one night stand with carlos sainz's girlfriend
word count: 4328
warnings: cheating, y/n is carlos sainz's gf and seb is married to hanna (pls do not cheat to your partners!). smut (oral, both female and male receiving; fingering, p in v). curse words. slight degradation. narrated on seb's pov. use of y/n y/l/n.
you can send your one shots requests here! feedback as well as comment and reblogs are truly appreciated! <3
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Mick was by my side with a drink in his hand. He was constantly smiling despite getting a worse result, which only made me feel worse. I had dragged myself here so as not to look bad, and all I felt was that I was letting him down and had become more of a burden to him.
How could I enjoy this crappy party when all I wanted was this season to end when it just started?
"Do you really think bringing me here would help me?" I asked him as I waited for the seventh drink I thought I had taken. "I'm not in the mood, and I'm too old for this."
"I know you're not feeling well, Seb, but you need to disconnect a bit. Trust me, you will feel better.”
I reluctantly agreed.
I tried to smile at everyone who greeted or simply looked at me. I even tried to mingle among the bodies swaying back and forth, as drunk as I was, but it was impossible.
I was disappointed with myself. From being a threat on the track to seeming like a rookie.
"You don't look like a rookie, Seb. At least, not like me."
The voice of the recent Haas addition snapped me out of my thoughts. Had I said that out loud?
"Remember why you started all this, Seb," the boy continued. "The passion you have is still there. What's different are the results you're getting."
"Did I speak out loud?"
"This is the definitive sign for me to realize you’ve had enough alcohol today,” he pointed at my glass, filled to the brim with gin and tonic. "That's the last drink you're having. I don't want to drag you to your room. What would Hanna say if she saw you like this?"
She'd probably want me to have a good time, for sure.
"That I should stop drinking, or what?" I replied to Schumacher.
"Exactly. Don't let the pressure collapse you, Seb. You don't deserve that."
After talking a bit more about the disastrous first race of the year that we both had, Mick dragged me to the center of the dance floor. I refused several times at first, insisting that I wasn't one to let loose in front of others, but the boy was so enthusiastic, and I was so wasted, that I decided to go along with him and the atmosphere.
I moved not as timidly as I expected to the rhythm of the music, setting aside my worries and, above all, starting to care less and less about what would happen from now on with every drop of alcohol I ingested.
I noticed how suddenly Mick stopped. His gaze was fixed on a girl who passed next to us and who, undoubtedly, looked quite attractive, at least that's what the blond's looks confirmed. I also stopped my body's dance and turned to her, but it was quite difficult to recognize who she was among the crowd. Her dark green sequined dress and her raven hair, falling in waves over her back, were, at that moment, the only things that seemed to stand out from her in the dimness of the nightclub.
Who the hell was the girl who seemed to have caught my eye?
"Seb, are you coming?"
Mick's shouts over the music briefly made my eyes divert to him, then quickly return my attention to the stranger. She was now moving quite sensually with who knows who, somehow making me, Sebastian Vettel, married and a father, start to get excited.
"You go ahead, Mick. I'd rather stay here for a while."
My answer, barely audible, was a complete lie.
Of course, I wanted to go with him. What I didn't want was to once again succumb to temptation as I did with Astrid a few years ago.
"Wait, Mick!" I shouted, approaching the boy enough to grab him by the bottom of his shirt and pull him back to me. "Who is she?"
"Don't you know her? Seriously?"
I denied it too many times for him not to understand.
Did he really think that if I knew who she was, I would be asking him?
Mick, with a mischievous smile, finally understood that I was more confused than I would like.
"It's Y/N, Y/N Y/L/N. An influencer. She makes TikTok videos and all that stuff," the blond whispered in my ear. "She's also Carlos's girlfriend, in case you're interested to know."
I tried to remember, but the drunkenness prevented me from recalling any kind of connection or image of that girl. Y/N Y/L/N, Carlos's girlfriend... Sainz? Of course, it had to be Sainz, there was no other Carlos on the grid... that I knew of.
"Oh, yeah, of course," I lied. The last thing I wanted was to admit that right now I didn't remember anything about that girl. "Carlos Sainz dad or son?" I added, then laughed.
Mick looked at me, raising an eyebrow. Clearly, my last comment didn't amuse him.
"You seriously don't remember her?"
"Well, I talk to too many people throughout the day, and I have more important things on my mind than that girl whose dress gives her a perfect ass, you know?" I tried to excuse myself.
"If you don't know her, as you say... Why don't you go and say hello? It never hurts to socialize, and maybe it'll help you forget all the birds you have flying around in your head," the boy insisted, ignoring my previous comments.
I felt a mix of shyness and concern invading me. If I approached the supposed girlfriend of Sainz, not only was I letting down my wife, but also a colleague. I didn't know who could be around here or what might happen if we were seen talking.
I was sure that if I approached her, there were two options: either I made her uncomfortable, or everything was misinterpreted, and we both got into trouble unintentionally.
"I don't want to overwhelm her, Mick," I replied. Right now, I couldn't think of coherent excuses, but any seemed good to me. "What would I say? 'Hello, Sebastian, how are you?' Come on Mick, we're not kids anymore."
Mick crossed his arms. His eyes revealed amusement, and there was no doubt he was enjoying this.
"Seb, you're at a party. Talking is what you do at a party, not talking about cars all the time, that's what briefings are for."
"But..."
"Stop being silly. Go and say hello. You'll see she doesn't bite."
I loved Mick Schumacher like a son and like a little brother, but moments like this were when we seemed like teenage brothers fighting over control of a video game.
"Fine, I'll go say hello," I finally relented.
"You won't regret it, you'll see."
I was sure I would regret it.
I was drunk, and I could barely remember my own name.
I wasn't sober, and I knew I was about to make another mistake, one I didn't know if I would regret as soon as I woke up.
I was Sebastian Vettel, and, of course, adrenaline and the forbidden attracted me.
I had done it once before, and everything had stayed between Astrid and me, so... why not do it again for a second time, and let everything stay between Y/N and me?
"This place is too packed."
Y/N turned around, our chests almost touching. I immediately lowered my gaze, and it was difficult for me to look away from her cleavage, quite revealing.
"I hope it is not full of idiots like you, Vettel. My face is up here, not between my tits."
Shit.
"Sorry," I said, rushing. Did I really have to screw it up now?
"Do you need something, Vettel?"
"Do you want to go out for some fresh air?" I asked without even thinking. "The music is too loud, so it's going to be hard for me to hear you."
Y/N seemed to consider it for a moment. Her expression betrayed indecision and, at the same time, I would dare say curiosity. After a brief silence that felt like an eternity, and where I was praying that she saw me with the same eyes as I saw her, she agreed.
We walked outside, she in front of me and me acting as if I were doing something completely normal. I sat on some steps far enough away so no one could see us; to my surprise, she sat next to me closer than I expected.
"Well, Vettel, what's the reason for wanting to talk to me so badly?" the young woman demanded to know.
I'd like to tell her that I'd like to fuck her tonight, but that wouldn't be very polite of me.
"Well... I don't know. I saw you and I said, 'Oh, it's Y/N, Carlos's girlfriend,'" I emphasized the last part to see if she reacted. There was no reaction on her part, so I counted it as a win. "I wanted to say hi."
"Did your nerves also wanted to say hi?"
I said nothing.
"From the little we've talked you seem like a nice guy, Sebastian," she continued speaking, calling me by my name for the first time. "But today it seems like you're especially quite interested in talking to me. Do you have something else to tell me, or is it just a feeling I have right now because I've been drinking?"
"Maybe."
I tried to keep my composure, but her getting even closer to me, and starting to caress me in a way that sent shivers down my spine, and leaving her hand on my thigh, too close to my member, made all the hair on my body stand on end.
She smiled, and then I knew I had achieved my goal.
"Why don't we go somewhere more private, Seb?" she whispered in my ear. Her index finger traced my arm, while her right hand began to undo a few buttons on my shirt. "It would be great if we continued this conversation without any chance of being interrupted."
"Do you think you're going to talk a lot tonight? The only thing coming out of your mouth is going to be you moaning my name, Y/N."
"Are you sure you're going to get what you might want, Mr. Vettel?"
God. I didn't expect her to play along, but now I was sure I was going to need more of that.
"Sure, as long as Carlos doesn't find out," I said, deep down, with concern.
"Well then, let's get out of here then, as long as Hanna doesn't find out..."
She nodded with a playful smile, and immediately, I forced myself to get up and find a taxi.
Of the thousands that seemed to be around, I decided to stop the only one that was moving towards us. When it stopped in front of us, I opened one of the back doors for Y/N and settled in next to her, putting on my sunglasses to avoid being recognized.
"To the Grove Hotel, please."
No need to say anything else because, in an instant, the driver set off.
As the vehicle moved through the night streets of Bahrain, Y/N and I seemed to become one. Her hands grabbed the collar of my shirt and she pressed her lips against mine. Even knowing that we were taking a risk, I decided to undo her seatbelt to position her on top of me, where I had much greater access to her entire body. The kisses became faster, more aggressive, and I felt my erection growing at a dizzying speed.
"Is your friend happy to see me, Sebastian?" the girl asked, rubbing herself slowly and torturously against my bulge.
"You'll see him as soon as we get to my room."
I couldn't say much more because my hands acted for me, grabbing her neck and starting to bite it, sucking, and surely leaving a few marks that I didn't give a shit if they showed. Her moans grew louder and louder, begging me for more.
We were lucky that our journey had ended because I was more than convinced that if we had continued like that, I would have fucked her right there.
We got out quickly, trying to act as if nothing had happened, but once we were in the elevator we acted the same way again. Torturing each other seemed to have become the main game of the night, caring less and less about being discovered. The forbidden seemed to excite us more, and I didn't blame the Spanish woman: after all, it was me who had started everything.
When we reached the door of my room I forced myself to stop kissing her. Y/N, however, stood behind me on tiptoe, wrapping her arms around my neck. I turned around and wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her closer to me and searching her eyes to see if she wanted the same thing I did at that moment.
"Do you want to come in?" I asked in a soft, husky voice.
She nodded, and with a movement that seemed memorized, I swiped the card through the reader, opened the door, and forced her to step inside.
Once I made sure I had locked the door, I knew everything was done.
She wearing only her black lace underwear, threw herself into my arms to continue what she had been doing on our way here. I lifted her astride me, her legs around my waist, and leaned her back against the wall, continuing to kiss her fiercely while she finished unbuttoning my shirt, throwing it somewhere as soon as she finished her task.
"Y/N..."
"You're horny, aren't you, Sebastian?"
"If you know I am why the fuck do you ask?"
My reluctant comment made the young woman hit my ches. I knew she wanted to go down, so I let her down and, as soon as her feet touched the carpeted surface, she got on her knees and started to unfasten my belt, then the button of my pants before pulling them down.
She left a trail of kisses on the lower part of my stomach and on the beginning of my groin, playing at the same time with the elastic of my boxers and my member.
"Let's see what we have here..."
She pulled down my underwear in one swift motion, leaving my cock, fully erect, exposed.
Her right hand wrapped around it in an instant, moving it up and down too slowly for my liking. I began to sigh, but I refused to beg her to speed up, hoping she would realize it herself. Soon enough, her tongue started to lick my tip, and pre-cum appeared as if out of nowhere; before I knew it, she was sucking on it like a child with a lollipop.
"You look so good like this, Y/N. I know that having another man's cock in your mouth, not your boyfriend's, turns you on more than you might want to admit. You must be fucking wet..."
I couldn't say anything else, but my moans seemed to say it all. My hands were on her head, indirectly urging her to go faster because I was getting closer and closer to what I hoped would be the first orgasm of the night. She listened to me: at least that's what she seemed to understand when a much greater sense of pleasure invaded me as her tongue began to make circular movements on my glans while she continued to suck without stopping and masturbate the part that wouldn't fit.
I came in her mouth without warning, and she swallowed everything without a word, moving her tongue over her lips to finish taking the remnants.
She got up and the only thing I could do, almost powerless, was throw her onto the bed and position myself on top of her to undress her and finally make her mine.
After unhooking her bra and being just about to start taking care of her lower part, my cell phone began to ring.
"Damn it..."
"Pick it up, daddy," she demanded. "We don't want anyone to find out about our secret, do we?"
Having her beneath me, teasing me as if she were an innocent schoolgirl, when all she was doing was provoking me even more, got me even hornier.
I picked up the phone and saw who the call was from.
Hanna.
"It's my wife," was all I could say. The annoying ringtone kept on, but I didn't dare to answer the call.
"Why aren't you answering?" 
"I'm with you, darling. Let it wait."
"What if we do something better?"
The girl sat up a bit on the bed and moved to the edge of it. The call seemed to be continuing, and my unease grew. Did Hanna imagine what I was doing right now, like this, with Y/N? Did she even consider the possibility that I might be unfaithful?
"Sebastian," the girl spoke again, "eat me while you talk to your wife."
"What?"
"Don't you want to play?" she asked. Again, that playful tone that turned me on so much came from her lips. "Well, let's play, but let’s do it my way."
I hated being challenged, and it seemed she knew it perfectly well.
Great. Did she want to play? Well, she was going to get it.
I got on my knees, still holding the phone in my hand. Hanna had already hung up, but that didn't mean I couldn't do things properly.
I selected her contact and put the call on speaker, leaving the device on the bed. I grabbed Y/N by her thighs and dragged her a bit further onto the surface, aligning her pussy perfectly with my face.
I yanked her panties off and the girl let out a surprised scream that coincided with my wife answering the call.
"Seb, are you okay? Is something wrong?"
And indeed, something was wrong, but Hanna Vettel wasn't aware of it, nor could she be.
"Yes, yes..." I replied as calmly as I could while I began to play with a finger between the girl's folds, spreading her wetness all over her pussy to lubricate her well. "It's just that I had to come to the bathroom because it was too noisy, and,you know how people are... having sex in stalls where barely one person fits."
Taking advantage of the fact that now it was my wife's turn to talk, I began to entertain myself with the girl's clitoris, who was ending her moans by putting a hand over her mouth.
"Do you remember when we used to do it?" my wife exclaimed excitedly. "We should do it again next time I come to see you."
"Damn it, Seb!"
"Honey, did I hear someone say your name, or am I just imagining things? Please tell me I'm not going crazy."
Shit. Sticking two fingers inside Y/N without warning hadn't been a good idea.
"No, no, no! There's another guy here named Sebastian. He met a girl named... Y/N, and look, now he must be doing something good to her for the girl to have screamed," I lied the best I could.
"And you're doing it really well," Y/N whispered so that only I could hear. "No wonder Hanna wants to do it with you in some disco bathroom. Who wouldn't fuck you anywhere?"
I took the opportunity to spread her legs even further and sliding my tongue, flat, over her entrance, moving up slowly enough to make her desperate, all the way up to her clitoris. Her hand was on my hair, gripping it tightly so that I wouldn't stop; I quickly moved it away and nodded towards the phone, where Hanna was still on the line.
"When are you coming back, Seb?" my wife spoke again. "The girls are asking more and more about you, and I don't know what else to tell them to make them stop."
"Well..."
Shit. Y/N had to stop arching her back, tilting her head back, and massaging her right breast because all that did was let me know that she was about to come, and for now, I didn't want her to reach that point.
My goal at that moment was twofold: to prevent Hanna, my wife, from discovering what I was doing, and to prevent Y/N, who seemed to be my new lover, from coming, no matter that three of my fingers were entering and exiting her at the same time as the tip of my tongue moved quickly over her clitoris.
"Seb? Can you hear me? Do you have coverage?"
"Yes, yes!" I hoped I didn't have coverage. "Although it's getting worse every time I think.”
The Spanish girl was close, I could feel it in the contractions of her entrance around my fingers. I wrapped my arms around her thighs and pulled her even closer to me, if that was even possible. I placed my right hand on the lower part of her stomach, forcing her to stay still.
"Hey, Hanna, I'm going to hang up because I think my phone is running out of battery," I lied again. Now, my only goal was to eagerly lick my new girl, not to talk to the woman I had been sharing my life with for years. "How about we talk tomorrow? I'll call you before I'm at the airport."
"Sure, Seb. Take care and don't do anything crazy, okay? And take care of Mick too, I don't want him doing anything crazy either."
I didn't give her time to say anything else because I pressed the red button at the same time as I withdrew from Y/N.
"You're a son of a bitch, Sebastian Vettel," was all the young woman said. I knew she wanted to kill me at that moment for leaving her on the edge of ecstasy.
"You know as well as I do that you'll thank me soon when I make you mine. The next time you fuck Carlos you regret it’s not me making you feel wanting to be fucked like the slut you are."
I put on the condom as quickly as I could and forced her legs to wrap around my waist.
I entered her abruptly, and now I was convinced that her scream had gone beyond the four walls surrounding us.
"Oh God, Sebastian. Don't stop, please."
"I hadn't planned on it, angel," I replied as best I could. Pleasure had invaded me too quickly, and I was quite surprised.
Why was the forbidden so tempting?
Her back arched again as my thrusts increased in both speed and depth. Her legs seemed to give way because I knew it would be difficult for her to hold out without coming after having been so close before; I kept them on my waist with one of my hands, while the other began to rub her most sensitive spot relentlessly.
"Look at me."
My voice sounded too demanding, but I didn't care.
"Look at me right now, angel," I repeated after seeing that she hadn't listened to me.
I felt her walls surrounding my penis as if her insides were on fire. Her gaze tortured me; her teeth biting her lower lip made me want to put her in a thousand more positions, to keep going with her until we both died of pleasure.
My hips increased in speed when I felt the nervousness in the lower part of my stomach. Then, I forced her to lie down more to start kissing her neck desperately, licking and sucking her nipples, making her sighs increase and forcing me to forget all worries.
Was it the same person who just a few hours ago was crawling around the corners because she had stopped being who she was a few years ago?
If having sex with Y/N would make me forget everything, I was more than condemned to madness because that was what I intended to keep doing if she allowed me.
"Seb..." the girl gasped. I felt her nails digging into my back. The pain that on another occasion would have seemed unbearable was now giving me pleasure.
I was desperate to come. I felt like I was about to explode, but I controlled myself because I didn't want the night to end so soon.
My hands went from holding her lower extremities to massaging her breasts, so big they didn't fit in my hands. I forced myself to stop giving her hickeys on her neck to lift myself up a little and enjoy the sight in front of me. My cock entered and exited Y/N constantly, more regularly even though I couldn't take it anymore; her breasts moving so irregularly because self-control was impossible, and her hand massaging her clit forcefully to come once and for all was an absolute damnation.
"Sebastian!"
I watched her squint her eyes after her shout because she wanted to see herself reach what we both had longed for that night. I followed her with a guttural sound and my semen filling the condom as my hands gripped her hips for as long as I was coming.
I stayed inside her long enough to realize that it had been real.
Meanwhile, silence had taken over. The only thing that could be heard was our breaths, agitated and synchronized with the rhythm of our chests.
I ran two of my fingers over her entrance before lying down, and without me telling her anything, she took them in her mouth, savoring herself. She did the same when she kissed me again, now lying on top of me.
"I want to keep going like this, Sebastian," she whispered, kissing me again in between. "But neither Carlos nor Hanna can find out."
"That's fine with me, angel. From now on, we're both each other's best kept secret."
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frogserotonin · 2 days
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overthinker- lars pinfield x reader
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a/n: short one bc im still in a slump rn many sorries. also sorry lawl this fic is so disconjointed and i’m really unhappy with it but whatever 😭 warnings: nothin proper i don’t think, most ooc lars to ever ooc, unedited; tell me if i've spelt smth wrong 😁
“Would you want to go out to get some lunch together on our break?” Your fingertips bounce off of the sides of your legs as you try to remain composed. You're so high-strung right now, you almost expect him to laugh in your face. Nerves and the effects of having slept a fitful two hours last night override your usually rational brain and you feel the need to just run away without receiving an answer bloom in your chest.
“I thought you usually brought lunch? If you forgot to bring some you can have some of mine, if you want.” Lars doesn’t even look up from what he’s working on, just adjusts his glasses and uses a vague jut of his elbow to point to his locker, where you know his bag is. Your heart simultaneously drops and stutters. 
“Oh, it’s okay, I just felt like going out to eat, thank you though.” You try to make your words seem more upbeat than you feel, unsure of whether or not to take his words as a rejection.
“Oh. Okay then.” It must be your imagination, but his words hold a hint of disappointment. You open your mouth again, then close it, and silence re-envelopes the room. Turning, you make your way to your desk and begin to work away, dejection slumping your shoulders forward and making time drag on. When eventually the lunch break arrives, you grab your bag and rush your way out of the lab.
A squeak of shoes on the concrete floor behind you almost has you looking back, but your brain is so addled you almost believe you’ve made it up.
Like a fool, you don't talk to him when you come back, or when you leave, the time you spend alone and in silence building up an anxiety in the back of your mind. The idea that he's all too aware of your feelings, and is made uncomfortable by them and your advances overtakes you completely. That night, you stay awake, tossing and turning, over analysing every interaction you've ever had with him, trying to make sure you've not overstepped and made a complete and utter fool of yourself.
In the morning, you consider it a miracle you leave the house at all, with how tired you are. The thought of calling in sick crosses your mind, but by the time you get up your body automatically locks itself into its usual routine, and you mindlessly get dressed and make your way to the Ghostbusters facilities. Through your drowsiness, the realisation that you’re at your desk and doing absolutely nothing sets in and you jolt. 
“Good morning.” If he didn’t sound so concerned, Lars would sound thoroughly amused. “You alright? Look a bit…off.” Your face flares, and you go to stand up, only to stumble and almost fall on your face. Hands out, you stabilise yourself, and then face him.
“Yeah. Morning.” You can only hope that he backs off, because his concern seems too genuine for your feelings to not expand exponentially the more he stands before you looking like he cares. “M’feeling just peachy, you?.” Belatedly, you realise your words are clearly not convincing because he doesn’t move an inch, simply studying you. He then sighs and shakes his head, chuckling a little bit, just softly under his breath, taking a couple steps closer to you. 
“When’s the last time you slept?” His voice is too gentle, too un-Lars-like, that you’re almost convinced you actually did fall asleep last night, and now you’re dreaming. You open your mouth to respond, but find yourself nodding off as you do so, the last thing you process before fully passing out is the feeling of arms around your chest and shoulders. 
When you come to, you sit up quickly, and slowly become aware of what had happened. Muttering cursing to yourself under your breath, you take in your surroundings, finding yourself slung over the small couch situated in the room reserved for taking time off from work briefly. Hurriedly, you rush out of the room towards where you assume Lars is working, apology already on the tip of your tongue. You approach him quickly and loudly, a fact that can be gathered from his head immediately snapping up when you enter the room. He starts to speak, no doubt to rattle off reasons why you were irresponsible and stupid for coming to work while being aware you weren’t at your fullest capacity, but you cut him off.
“God, I’m so sorry. That was humiliating, and I’m so, so sorry that it happened, it won’t happen again.” You bow your head, refusing to look him in the eye, but quickly look up again when you hear him laugh. 
“It’s fine, really, you just scared me a little bit.” His smile is small, but sincere and you remember fully the reason you were in the predicament in the first place. “Are you feeling better now?” 
You probably look a bit crazy with how vigorously you nod, but you barely care anymore. 
“Yes, thank you so much, really, I’m sorry that it happened.” He laughs again, and it sounds like heaven.
“You don’t need to thank me or apologise,” Lars’ eyes sparkle a bit behind his glasses when he properly smiles, and you can feel warmth rush to your face. He hesitates, like he’s calculating his words, then gently says “I-uh. I care for you a lot, it really meant nothing for me to make sure you were okay.”
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royaltozaki · 1 day
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the blurry line between friendship and something more
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sana x fem!reader - trailer ▸ part 1
synopsis: the second day on this season’s bachelorette involves our first group date, a solo date with last night’s lucky winner, and of course, a rose ceremony to say goodbye to a few more contestants
warnings: cursing, implied sex, children, mentions of absent parenthood
w/c: 5.3k
a/n: my head is so empty but i hope that this is an enjoyable continuation, ty to all the love and all the readers <3 appreciate u all
⋆。°·☁︎
you wake up quite early the next day despite the long night. you pass by sana's door that's still closed, safely assuming she would still be asleep. it's also early enough that none of the producers or costume and makeup teams have come by yet to start preparing the two of you for shooting today, and you decide to head downstairs and make yourself a smoothie.
you cringe slightly as you turn the blender on, the loud whirring blasting through the peace and quiet of the early morning, but knowing sana sleeps like the dead, you're not too concerned about waking her up.
once your smoothie is ready, you walk out onto the patio and take in the slight bite of the morning air, reflecting over the events of last night while the sun makes its ascension into the sky.
you had to admit it was a little funny to see the faces of some of the contestants when sana called you out before the rose ceremony and introduced you as her best friend. you took glee in heechul's reaction in particular, horrified at what you may have said about him to sana, sending a wink over to jacky and eunji and a smile at miyeon who had all looked on in surprise as you took your place next to sana.
the rose ceremony droned on a little after that. sana had eliminated people that didn't leave much of an impression on either of you, you didn't remember any of their names. fitting since the night was all about first impressions.
what was surprising however, was who won her first impression rose. wonsik, the terrified guy that looked like he was going to pee himself every time a woman so much as looked in his direction, must have made some sort of lasting impact on sana that hopefully did not involve actual urine. she wasn't specific when you asked her afterwards, just saying that she had enjoyed her conversation with him and that he seemed like a sweet guy.
this entire thing was making you think maybe you knew sana a little less than you thought.
you sigh. an uncomfortable pit has found it's home in the bottom of your stomach ever since the beginning of last night, and it didn't seem like it was going away anytime soon. you dread what was to come.
⋆。°·☁︎
the first group date was underway.
sana had picked miyeon, eunji, jacky, jun, dae, and jiwon to participate. all 6 of them had made relatively good impressions with you on the first night, so this made for a good chance to dig a little more and see if you could eliminate any of these contestants.
it was honestly a pretty intense date to start with, diving right into the nitty gritty relationship questions most couples wouldn't even attempt until a few months in.
kids.
you knew sana adored kids and that she was a natural with them. this date involved everyone heading to a childcare and running it for a day.
this meant you could sit off to the side and laugh at the way eunji and dae looked completely out of depth trying to get a naked toddler that was running around on a tantrum back into his clothes.
you were sitting with jiwon since you didn't get to talk much to her on the introduction night, but with her experience as a nurse, she had a way with kids that made them just fall into her lap and completely calm down.
"did you say anything about me to sana?" she was a little awkward sitting with you, in contrast to the confidence she had last night when she had pulled sana away for a conversation during what you liked to refer to in your head as 'the hunger games'.
you feign indifference, "oh you know... only that you were really rude to me when we first met and called me a" you cover the little girl's ears sitting in jiwon's lap, "whore."
she looks at you in horror.
you burst out laughing, "i'm just joking jiwon don't worry. no i didn't say anything in particular which means you must have made a plenty good impression on your own to land on this group date." you offer an apologetic smile as she collects herself, combing her fingers through the little girl's hair lulling her into sleep.
"well thankyou. i'm glad sana has you here." she says honestly, placing the girl into a cot when she's fallen asleep and tucking her in, "it's pretty daunting to be dating so many people at once. it's good you can set her straight and be an objective presence."
you hum, "you're really good with these kids. is that something you want for yourself in the future?"
"not really to be honest. i grew up with really young siblings and my parents were pretty absent so i guess i got good at taking care of them because i had to. but that's also why i don't really want kids. being a nurse is really tiring and you're on call pretty much 24/7. the overtime is terrible and by the time we finally get off work, all we want is a good night’s sleep before we have to do it all over again. i don't want to have kids if i'm going to be like my parents, if i have them i want to make sure i have the time for them to give them the proper care and love they need."
"i'm sorry you had to go through that." the two of you whip your heads around to find sana there with a gentle smile on her face, carrying a little boy on her hip who looks perfectly snug against her.
jiwon's blushing and shuffling over so sana can join you on the carpeted floor. "there's nothing to apologise for. my experiences have shaped who i am today, it's why i do what i do and why i love it."
"that's admirable. i'm actually someone who really loves kids and would love to have some of my own, but i can definitely see different perspectives." sana's slotting in easily, and you find your jaw clenching at the way she's wrapped an arm around jiwon's and playing with her fingers.
jiwon's fumbling and a blushing mess, "oh! i mean like obviously it depends on my partner! i'd be open to discussing kids with the right person, but yeah like i said, i just want to make sure that the kids get what they need or it can really mess them up."
sana's giggling and you feel completely invisible, quietly excusing yourself to let them talk.
you bite your lip, the pit in your stomach feeling heavier than ever. you want to kick yourself, you have no idea why you're feeling this way, and jiwon seemed like such a sweet person as well, there was no reason at all for you to think she was unsuitable for sana. and yet, watching them touch and laugh and talk together made you feel all sorts of things you weren't ready to delve into yet.
you walk towards miyeon who is trying her best but still looks very much out of her zone.
"hey y/n-" she grimaces as the girl on her shoulder seems to pull on her hair, "bet everyone wants to date me right now huh?"
you laugh, helping get the girl off of her and pushing her towards another group of kids that seemed to be playing some sort of game.
"i'm sure sana appreciates the effort."
she cringes as she pulls something out of her hair and inspecting it before throwing it into the bin with a look of disgust, "eugh. i'm never having kids."
you laugh again, grabbing a comb and offering it to her as she accepts it gratefully.
"so you pulled a fast one on us last night huh?" again, you're struck by the similarities she shares with sana, if sana didn't love kids as much as she did, you'd bet she would be acting exactly like miyeon, screeching and running from the kids afraid of getting dirty or clung onto, kind of like how she would run from birds.
you shove her teasingly as she sends you a light glare, "don't worry. i only had good things to say about you." you smile reassuringly.
"oh i'm sure. i'm perfect anyways i don't know what you could've said that could be bad anyway." she smirks.
you roll your eyes goodheartedly, "actually i think i just found something. better watch your back, next time you pull anything funny i'll just tell sana you can't love anyone more than you love yourself."
she fakes a gasp, exaggeratingly placing a hand over her mouth, "you wouldn't."
"oh i would."
she sighs exasperatedly, "guess i better pack all my mirrors up and head back to file a marriage certificate for miyeon and me."
you spend the rest of the date with miyeon, laughing and joking around, you're appreciative of the distraction she offers and you're glad that she's here. even if you weren't her first priority here, you're glad to have made a friend in her.
⋆。°·☁︎
after the group date ends, sana is off for her solo date with wonsik. it's strange being so involved in her dating life all of a sudden. you're used to her telling you about her relationships, the dates she's been on, but now you're directly involved and you're seeing how she acts around the people she's dating. it was a whole different side of her.
that night, there's another rose ceremony. you're with all the contestants again, mingling and talking while waiting for sana and wonsik to make the grand appearance after coming back from their date. you'd overheard from the producers they were going on a helicopter ride and having a forest picnic, all very extravagant and fantastical.
so it's not too much of a surprise when everyone rushes towards the loud engine sounds and rotating helicopter wings yelling and full of excitement.
wonsik steps out first and he turns and extends a hand for sana to take.
she steps out in a stunning satin pale green dress that clings close to her curves and accentuates her shoulders and collarbone and the jewelry hanging around her neck. she's all smiles and holding wonsik's hand as she walks towards all of you.
you down your drink, finding relief in the way the alcohol burns down your throat.
let the hunger games begin.
⋆。°·☁︎
sana has been neglecting you today. that's what you're thinking as you down your eighth drink of the night. you're fine though, completely, perfectly, fine fine fine.
jacky's calling for another round of shots and you cheer with everyone as you all down it. you think sana's off with dae or someone but you lost track after the fifth drink.
"miyeon!!" you're grinning as you sling an arm around your new friend.
"woaaah y/n how much have you had to drink?"
"like eight but i can hold my alcohol good trust." you place your hand on your heart in mock salute.
"uh huhhhhhh c'mon let's get you some water."
"no! no water, only more alcohol! c'mon do a shot with me!" you're pouting and stamping your foot like a little kid, trying to drag her back towards the guys who are whooping and calling for another round.
"nuh uhhhh." her firm is strong around your waist as she drags you away towards a semi-secluded alcove and sits you down on the cushioned bench.
"who woulda known you'd be this kinda drunk y/n. sana must have her hands full with you." she's teasing as she gets you to drink a full glass of water, making sure you've drunk the whole cup before putting it away and sitting next to you.
you're pouting, "sana has her hands full with all of YOU actually. she doesn't have time for me here. i don't even know why she brought me here. i haven't done anything except watch her get it on with like every single person here." you hiccup, slurring as you're talking.
miyeon's frowning, a hand at your back, rubbing circles in a comforting pattern, "i'm sure that's not true y/n. you're her best friend, she just has a lot going on right now. imagine dating 24 people at the same time, anyone would have a hard time even remembering all of those names."
"yeah but my point still stands! there was literally no reason to bring me on here! she literally just did it to make me suffer i swear."
miyeon's surprised, "why are you suffering?"
you bury your head in your hands, groaning, "ughhhhhhhh i don't knowwwwwwwww. i just feel so icky whenever i see her while we're filming. like am i just being an attention whore or am i like like friend jealous? it's just so weird seeing her talking to people with like, the intention to be with them."
"well do you have this problem outside of filming? like in your real lives, do you get friend jealous easily?"
you look at miyeon dumbly, "no because sana's always going to come back to me."
she sucks in a breath and you can't tell what the expression on her face means, "what's different now then? are you worried she's not going to come back to you?" she's gentle and soft and you feel so comfortable with her, so easily able to open up to her despite only knowing each other for two days. reality television really does make everything go so much faster.
"no it's not that. she's not the type of person to just leave her friendships behind after she gets into a relationship. she cares too much about people to do that." you lean your head onto her shoulder, sighing in defeat.
"you know what it sounds like to me?"
"hmm?"
"have you ever thought that maybe you l-"
before she can finish the sentence, everyone is being called back into the house for the rose ceremony. tonight, 3 more people were going to be eliminated leaving 16 contestants. you hadn't even noticed that sana had come back from her talks with the other participants, when you spot her, she's looking at you strangely, you've never seen that look on her face before and you're a little scared at what it could mean. you hadn't done anything to upset her had you?
miyeon sighs next to you, "c'mon." she stretches a hand out to you, and you take it gratefully, walking back hand in hand, forgetting what miyeon was saying while thinking about what that look sana was wearing meant.
⋆。°·☁︎
you take your place next to sana, a little shakily as your vision blurs and you giggle a little. sana sends you a sharp glare as a hand shoots out to support your back and helping you right yourself. you mutter a quick sorry and stare down at your heels, remembering you're being filmed and most of the country will see this tomorrow.
sana starts reading out the names of the contestants that will continue to stay and you're checking off names slowly in your head. some people you still haven't really gotten to know too well yet, but you were getting a little better with names as you recognise most of the ones being called out.
you cringe when jihyo's name is called out and she saunters out with a bright smile, kissing sana on the cheek before receiving her rose. you smile for jacky, eunji, and jiwon, and it's not really a surprise that wonsik already got a rose on his date with sana.
slowly the roses wittle down, and then there's only one left.
hold on.
you look up to assess the remaining contestants.
miyeon.
you meet her gaze and she smiles at you encouragingly, always the optimist.
there's no way sana wasn't going to pick miyeon for the last rose right? they had hit it off so well on the first night and miyeon was picked for the group date today as well. as far as you know they still had good banter going on at the date and her talk with sana tonight seemed to go off without any hiccups as well.
yeah there was nothing to worry about. sana would pick miyeon.
"heechul."
the next few moments go in slow motion for you. you're dumbfounded as you watch heechul step forward with a sleazy smirk on his face, stalking forward with misjudged confidence. behind him, miyeon has kept her smile on her face but you can see the slight fall in her eyes.
"heechul, will you accept this-"
before you can think, before sana can finish the sentence, you're stepping forward and knocking the flower out of her hand.
everyone looks at you in shock and there's a stunned silence that fills the room for 2 seconds before Heechul interrupts.
"ahaha I will Sana thankyou-"
"No!"
He looks over at you with a smoulder on his face, an eye twitching as he tries to compose himself in front of the cameras.
Sana's snapped out of her shock now as well and turns to you, quite clearly angry with the scene you're making.
"outside. now."
she doesn't give you another second and turns on her heel. you gulp, you'd rarely seen sana angry, she was always the happy-go-lucky sunshine girl, and never was that anger ever directed at you.
"what the fuck was that?" after you'd scrambled after her.
you're still dumbfounded, "w-what? what do you mean what was that? i should be asking you that!? how could you pick heechul over miyeon?!"
her expression grows cold, "that's not your choice to make. much less on national television."
"and that's not an answer! i don't understand sana! you got along so well with miyeon and i told you what an ass heechul was! i don't- i can't- it doesn't make sense!"
"it doesn't have to make sense to you. love doesn't make sense. i need you to stop butting into my decisions. i chose heechul and that's that. miyeon is going home tonight."
"you asked me to help with your decisions! you asked me to be here! and i don't see the point of that if you're just going to ignore everything i say and do what you want. i may as well just go home if you're going to be like this the rest of the season!"
sana's face softens and she almost looks... ashamed?
"i'm sorry. please don't go home. i do need you here. i promise i'll take your suggestions in after tonight... just not on this. please don't argue with me."
you've started to pace in frustration in front of her, "but i don't understand! why? why would you ruin this poor girl's chance with you when she's clearly infatuated already and-"
"she's not! can't you see?! she likes you!"
you pause. what?
sana's blushing and clearing her throat, "anyway, if she's not here for the right reasons then she shouldn't be here anyway. so i'm sending her home."
you burst then, "what?! sana what the fuck?!"
she bristles, "don't what the fuck me! you didn't see the way she talked to you at the group date today! and then just then, her arm around you like you're her girlfriend," she spits the word out, "rubbing you're back and looking at you like that! you'd have to be blind not to see that she has feelings for you!"
"my eyes are right here sana." you point aggressively at your own eyes, "and i can see just fine thank you very much. miyeon was keeping me company at the childcare because my best friend didn't have time for me and left me to fend for my own with all these strangers! and miyeon was helping me again tonight because i was out of my mind drunk! i felt like shit and she was being a good friend while you were off god knows where making out with every other person in here!"
"they're strangers to me too you know?! at least i'm making the effort to get to know them when you barely even know half their names! and that's like half your job here too isn't it? and i'm sorry that i have to talk to everyone here because if you didn't know, we're filming a show and i'm the main attraction so i'm sorry that i actually have to go around and date people because that's the whole point of this fucking show!"
you're both breathing heavily, emotions running high.
a producer finally gains the courage to interrupt the two of you, looking like she wants to be anywhere else, she gingerly comes up and taps sana's shoulder. "i'm sorry guys but we have to get back to filming. the contestants are getting antsy and we need to reshoot that last rose because-" she glances at you with pity, "um yeah. so if we could get back that would be really great..."
sana's tense when she speaks up, "alright. i'll be in in a second."
the producer doesn't look convinced but nods quickly and rushes away again.
sana sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose, "go home. you're drunk. i'll get one of the staff members to drive you."
you're about to protest when she interrupts, "you're drunk y/n. and definitely not television ready. go home." she says with finality and turns around, leaving you outside.
you're seething in the aftermath, adrenaline running high and blood pumping. you push off the staff that sana's sent, instead, walking around the side of the house and towards the front where the limos waiting to take the eliminated contestants home would be waiting.
you're still replaying the argument in your head when the eliminated participants finally exit the house. you spot miyeon immediately, her head still held high, and you feel another flush of anger at the fact that she was eliminated.
when she sees you she offers a slight smile, "hey y/n. funny we're meeting like this again. last time we were in this same limo coming to this place all hopes and dreams right?"
you sigh at her positivity, not holding back when you pull her into a hug and squeezing.
"i'm sorry you had to leave like this. i know how you felt about sana. i'm sorry she couldnt reciprocate that."
her arms come up around you as well, and you feel her release a heavy sigh, a little bit of her mask cracking.
"i appreciate that. i hope you take care of her y/n."
you bite your lip, trying not to think of the fight the two of you just had, nodding anyway to reassure her.
"although i know you will. knowing how you feel about her..."
you pull away this time, looking at her in confusion, "what do you mean by that?"
she smiles at you sadly, "you might not realise it yet. but when you do it'll all make sense. i just hope it won't be too late then."
"what- miyeon-"
she's leaving and getting into the car, slipping something into your hand.
"take care y/n. it was nice knowing you even though it was for a short amount of time. i'm glad we became friends. thank you for being there for me during this." she smiles and closes the door, and you can only look after her as her car pulls away.
you look at what she's slipped into your hand.
a small piece of paper with a line of numbers written in neat cursive.
you clutch it a little tighter, grateful for her extension of friendship even beyond all of this, in the form of her number.
you turn to the poor staff member who's been awkwardly hovering behind you and gesture that you can go now. he sighs in relief and leads you towards another car to take you home.
⋆。°·☁︎
sleep doesn't come easy. you're tossing and turning. you had heard sana come home and go straight to her room not long ago. you sigh, feeling conflicted. on one hand, you felt guilty that you had almost made a public embarrassment out of yourself and of sana, it was lucky the show wasn't aired live. but on the other, you were still confused how she could think miyeon had feelings for you of all people. it was so obvious to you that miyeon only had eyes for her. she had said it herself on the first night, that she wouldn't be guilty of any cross dating within the participant pool and that she was only set on sana.
a strike of lightning interrupts your thoughts, followed by the booming sounds of thunder.
you sigh, turning again in your sleep, pulling the comforter up higher, trying to find sleep.
then the second thunder crack shakes through the house and you jump up. sana.
you're out the door in seconds, hand resting on the door handle to sana's room. you hesitate. did she even what you there? you knew she was deathly afraid of thunder and lightning. back home you would always crawl into bed with her, shooshing and talking with her, distracting her until the storm passed and she could fall asleep. but you were afraid things were different now after your fight. you had never fought before, and things were so different with the entire show going on.
a third thunder clap sounds out and you hear a light yelp from the other side of the door and your decision's made. you push through quickly, shutting the door softly behind you as you inch closer to her bed. you cautiously lift a leg onto the comforter, careful not to startle her, and make your way under the blanket where she's shivering and crying, curled up in a ball with her hands over her ears.
you curl up behind her, sliding your arms over her midriff and resting your head against her neck, breathing in the scent of her hair. you feel her hands come down to yours immediately, clutching on tightly. she's still whimpering softly and crying but you squeeze against her even tighter, whispering i'm heres and you're okays.
slowly, you feel her breathing even out, she still flinches with every thunderclap, but she's not so tense anymore, uncurling herself but not letting go of your hands.
you're tracing patterns onto her palms, hoping to relax and distract her.
"thankyou." her voice is croaky and quiet.
you hum, nuzzling your nose against the back of her neck, "of course sana. you're my best friend. i'm always going to be here for you."
you feel her tense up again.
you don't want her to push you away so you interlock your fingers, holding her hands firmly in yours, not letting her break away.
"i'm sorry for overreacting tonight. you're right. this is your show and i'm just meant to be here to provide advice, and you can choose whether or not to take that on. but the decisions in the end are yours to make. and i'm sorry i disrespected that."
she sighs, turning in your arms, your heart flips a little at the proximity, but you busy yourself with wiping at her eyes, clearing away the wet tear tracks.
"i'm sorry too. i- i don't really know what came over me. maybe i was just a little scared you'd replace me. you told me on the first night that miyeon reminded you a lot of me. and then seeing the two of you get along so well, and her being able to be there for you when i wasn't, i felt a little angry with myself i think."
"i could never replace you sana. but i need you to understand that miyeon didn't have feelings for me. and i know i need to learn to be a little less clingy and needy, you're carrying a lot right now and you don't need to babysit another person on top of all that. so don't be angry with yourself for that, you've always been there for me in the past whenever i've needed you. and i know you'll always be there for me in the future too."
she frowns, "but not tonight. i wasn't there for you tonight." she brushes your cheek gently, "are you okay? why did you drink so much? that's not normally like you."
you sigh, placing your forehead against hers and closing your eyes, reveling in the closeness and familiar comfort sana offered.
"i don't really know. miyeon was saying something but she never got to finish her thought."
you know sana frowns again at the mention of miyeon because you feel her forehead wrinkling a little. you chuckle, "stop that." you poke her side and she wriggles away from you, pouting.
you hum, "it's hard to explain sana. it's like- like i can see everything now y'know? like i'm there when you're flirting with others, i'm there when you're in the process of getting to know someone and dating someone and it's different because that's not a real experience. like in the real world, i'm not going on group dates with your 6 other romantic interests, i just get the brief summary from you after you've finished the date. and i don't know- i- this is a hard word to use but i think i get jealous? but like- ugh i don't know it's all just so confusing and-"
you blink. a soft warmth is pressing against your lips. then as soon as it came it's gone.
your eyes are wide as you look into sana's equally widening eyes.
"oh my god i'm so sorry i didn't-"
and then you're pressing your lips against hers again. it's addicting. her lips are soft, and fit perfectly against yours, and this feels nothing like all of the kisses you've shared with your various exes. she's returning the kiss, moulding against you, a hand coming up to rest on your neck as you feel her fingers slide into your hair. your fingers come to rest naturally at her waist, which you find is just skin because her top has ridden up a little and she gasps at the cold feeling of your hands on her body.
you take the opportunity and lick into her, earning your first moan that shoots a line of energy straight to your core.
you're on top of her now, and it's your turn to moan into her when you feel a leg lift and press right against where you need her most. you're nipping down her neck, laying soft kisses and licks and she's panting under you, both of your minds hazy with lust and want.
she speaks up first though, "w-wait y/n-"
you hum against her pulse point as you suck on it, biting softly, relishing the moan it rips out of her.
"should we really- ah- be doing this?"
you pause, lifting off her a little, the sight of her panting and out of breath, lips swollen from kissing, hair messy, and a slightly darkening spot at her neck, all of it going straight to your core, as you grind down a little on her leg.
"fuck- i want to. i want you if you want to."
you're back at her neck, licking and sucking a path up to her ear, taking in an earlobe and nipping lightly.
she jolts up into you and you both moan at the slight friction it provides. she's closing her eyes, "oh fuck it- ye-s yes god- yes i need you y/n please."
and that's all it takes for you to reattach your lips, the storm, the show, everything else completely forgotten, just the two of you in this moment. you could deal with everything else tomorrow.
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dark-night-hero · 11 hours
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hi :'D man your writing of tragedy makes me want to cry and i love it
the first one i read from your works is zhongli losing y/n his mate because he wasnt there when a god wrecked havoc, so i got an idea.
neuvi's old old, and focalors invited him to be the iudex of fontaine right? during his early days in fontaine he struggled so much with interacting with humans. what if, he meets a human (y/n) who doesnt care that their new iudex had come from nowhere, and completely aids neuvi with communicating with humans and they form such a close bond that he doesnt understand, but right as he decides to go for it and ask yn he receives news of a new case ; yn's murder :D
i swear i did not mean for this ask to be long i am so sorry 😭
Humans can be cruel ang cunning creatures. If not then crimes and wars would have never happened. They are beings who are capable of hurting each other for the sake of their own gain. They would not hesitate to use each other and kill each other.
That is the human on Neuvillette, the new iudex of Fontaine. He does not even know why he accepted such invitation. In the first place, his hesrt was distant from the people. His imagine of them was quite... bad. Maybe that was just his discrimination, but the more he get to stand on trial, then more distorted his imagine of mortals become.
And then he met you. You who was a human, but different from the humans that the knew. You were just... different. You do not look at him with fear nor do you look at him with indifference. The way you act around him, you just act like yourself.
He met you in a rainy day, a rainy day after a trial. He was walking unbothered under the rain, when a figure with umbrella started walking towards him. "Ah- Ah! Mister-!" At first, he ignore it despite the softness of the voice whom was talking to him. "Wait-!" He was avoiding people as good as he can. He saw no good in interacting with them.
"Hey!" He was getting pissed to be honest, the rain was getting heavier and once in a while a thunder could be heard. He was ready to brush the person off when suddenly, the rain stopped. There was an umbrella over his head. "Are you crazy! At this rate you're going to get sick!" What? Neuvillette was stunned, letting himself get dragged by this mortal who does not seem to recognise him or did they? "Iudex or not, what are you thinking walking under the pouring rain? Here! Take this umbrella!" After going under some shade, he watch you left him out much thought, he was holding your umbrella as you only have your hands protecting you from the rain.
You are weird. Weird in a good way that does not make sense. Maybe it was a coincidence, but after thatm he kept bumping into you. In his walk in his way into the court and when he was coming back from the court. In the path he talk, you were always there talking to him even though he does not reply. Still, it was strange how with you, he felt comfort.
"It's raining again, and here you are walking under the rain. Seriously, what's with you?" ... "Rather than that, what's with you?" "Me? What's wrong with me?" "You're different from other." "What makes me different from them?" He did not answer after that, for he too does not know what to say. How weird.
You were pretty close to him. He does not know how, but many all those walk together with you was working. In the end, he found himself completely relax and comfortable around you. "Now that I think about it. I'm your only friend, no?" ... "gasp! For real?" "Humans... I found them rather hard to communicate with." After all those trials, he does not know what to think about humans anymore. That is why he found you weird. "Why? Why is that?!" You pout. "Well..." He stopped walking and ponder for a while. "Maybe it's because I have seen mostly the dark side of humans that I cannot seem to know what to think and say to them." He replied after a little while. "Hey! That's totally unfair! If you try hard enough to know more about us there is more than the dark side there is to see!" "Hmmm. I doubt..." "No! Seriously, you jut have to open up your heart to the people and you will see the goodness in their heart." You laugh. To be honest, he does know that. After all, there was no other ways he could describe you but a good person and perhaps, maybe even more than that. But to open his heart to the people other than you... "Right... I'll think about it."
Neuvillette always find it difficult to interact with people. Most of the time he had this instinct to stay away from them. Maybe it has something to do with their origins, he was a high being after all and humans. Humans are just... humans. Nevertheless from the moment he have met you, he knew he was doomed. Doomed to understand humans. From the moment he get to know more of you, the more he mindset starts to change. Maybe... maybe humans are not as bad a he thought them to be.
"Are you okay?" The cafe was not crowded. It was almost midnight when the two of you decided to go into one. "Of course! Why wouldn't I be?" You asked with a smile on your face. Nevertheless Neuvillette did not fail to notice the way your eyes quickly scan the surroundings, the way you seemed to be anxiously playing with your fingers. But then, you are looking at him dead in the eyes telling him you are fine. Maybe it was nothing. "It's getting dark, shall we go?"
That night, Neuvillette decided to give it a try. Maybe just as you said, humans are not bad as he thought they would be. Maybe just like you said, all he need to do is to open his heart to the people and see things in a different perspective. Thinking about it makes his lips curl up, thinking how joyful you would be if he were to tell you that in person. But.
Humans can be cruel ang cunning creatures. If not then crimes and wars would have never happened. They are beings who are capable of hurting each other for the sake of their own gain. They would not hesitate to use each other and kill each other.
"What is this?" His hands were shaking. "Earlier a citizen named (First name) (Lastname) was found mur-?! Monsieur?! Where-" He rush out the room. He run and run and run until he was under the heavy rain. Hands still clenching the piece of goddamn paper with such gruesome, unbelievable concent. No, he would not believe it. He could not believe it. You were just walking with him earlier this day, your smile as too real for it to be unreal. He had just seen you earlier so why? Why are you there sitting in your own pool of blood soaked under the rain?
He could not even approach you, he just watch there along with the other people watching the crime scene get cleaned up like it was nothing. People were looking at you with interest like yu were some kind of entertainment after all. It was the very first case of murder in Fontaine.
Neuvillette could hear nothing under the rain, he just stood there under the same spot even after tour body was taken away. Countless thoughts running in his head. Why? Why does it have to be you? Why do humans never change? Why does t has to be you? Why? Just fucking why you? You asked Neuvillette to give humans a chance. But how could he do that now that he knew humans were the very same being that took you away from him?
Neuvillette did not cry but he just stand there, eyes bloodshot as his lips leak blood from bitting so hard, hands curl into a fist. He was mad, so mad that he wanted to end things right now. He was starting to blame everyone, the world for taking away the only good thing that ever happened to him. In his eyes were those full of hatred and is ready to explode. He would never forgive-
Neuvillette felt a weak thug on his pants, for a moment, he looked down. The first thing he noticed was the blood stained water right in front of him before the child that was holding on into him. "Ha-hydro dragon. Do-don't cry." The child sniff, tears rolling down his cheeks upon saying so.
Neuvillette does not like humans. They are a cruel and cunning being who took away the love of his life before he could even realise it was love. At the same time, these humans were the being that his love one loves very much. "Don't worry." He slowly reach out and pat the little boy's head and magically, he was suddenly dried despite the pouring rain. "The hydro dragon doesn't cry." Just like that, the rain that seemed to be drowning in sadness stopped.
[ⓒdark-night-hero] 2024°
: I think I fucked up. Na bobo ata ako sa sunod sunod na quiz at exam kanina HAHAHA IT'S SO HOT IN THE PH HUHU
: No but seriously I think I fucked up making this asked. HAHAHAHHA did I do it right? Imma delete this na lang charot.
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slutmegeto · 5 hours
Text
sensational.
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you really needed to learn that you can't escape him.
tw. noncon, dubcon, yandere, shibari, gag, overstimulation, sex toys, forced orgasm, dumbification, punishment, crotch-rope, bdsm, bondage, ass slapping, implied whipping
pairing: gojo satoru x f!reader
"don't worry."
that's what he'd said.
"it'll feel good, baby. i promise."
but all it had done was make you feel like you were suffocating.
the rope was rough and coarse. it pinched into your skin, pulled at it, and left you completely trapped and vulnerable. no matter how much you wiggled or moved, tried to shift out of it, it didn't matter.
you were trapped.
when gojo had walked into the bedroom with a handful of rope in his hands, your heart had sunk to the pit of your stomach. he'd been grinning, eyes twinkling with excitement of what he had planned, and you'd begged and pleaded, tried to negotiate, but none of it had mattered.
"i wanna see you all tied up," he'd told you. "all trapped and defenceless against me."
and that had been that.
he'd gotten you to strip off your clothes, sat back on the bed as you'd done it, eyes watching your every movement. he'd given you a slap on the ass when you'd tried to shuffle out of your clothes too quickly, telling you to "slow down" and "i want a show" and so you'd been forced to stand there, with his eyes on you, and strip in front of him.
the red marks across your ass reminded you of why it was better just to listen.
when you're clothes were finally off, he'd ordered you to sit on the bed and then he'd begun. you noticed him grab your panties off the floor and tuck them into his pocket but you barely had time to focus on that when he stepped towards you. starting at your breast, gojo had ordered you to keep your arms at your sides, taken a length of the rope and wrapped it around your left breast. he'd used his free hand to grab at the fat, squeeze and wound the rope tight at the base of it, looping it around three times before shift to loop it around the right one.
you'd winced, face pinching in discomfort as the airway to your breasts was cut off. your left one had started to grow red and purple immediately, but gojo had just grinned at the sight, making sure the rope was wrapped around your right breast just as tightly.
once he was satisfied with that, he'd taken the rest of the length of the rope and looped it around the back of your neck, before looping it under your left breast and around the back of you. when it'd pulled back around, he'd gathered the rope in the middle of your chest and looped the rope around it, making it more sturdy, pulling at the rope so it pinched into your skin and grinned.
"doing so good, baby," he'd cooed as your face twisted, discomfort flooding your senses.
he asked you to stand up, guiding you up by the end of the rope like a leash and you'd done so with flushed cheeks.
with a sharp slap to either of your thighs, he'd forced your legs apart, spread enough that when he crouched, he could pulled the rope down the length of your stomach and towards your crotch. you'd gasped, made a sound of fear and gojo had just laughed, using his free hand to spread the lips of your pussy. and your body had twitched, not sure what to expect, only to jump when you felt the coarse rope press directly against your clit, lining in between your lips.
"gojo—"
your cry had gone unheard, gojo taking you by the hips and forcing you to turn. you heard him push himself back up to his feet, pulling the rope so it pushed in between the cheeks of your ass. then, he looped the rope back around the rope making a harness around your breast and pulled.
a cry had pulled from your lips, shriek and loud as the rope pressed directly into your clit and burned along the length of your pussy and ass. gojo was relentless, looping the rope around the the harness once more, to make it was secure, before tugging three more times, and securing it in place with a final knot.
hands still free, you shifted on the spot, turning to grab gojo, confused and bewildered, but gojo had just grabbed your arms in his one hand and delivered a hard slap against your ass again. it tingled, more because of the marks already there, a mewl leaving your lips as he tugged you against his chest, pressing his lips against your ear.
"let's tie up those arms of yours now."
"no—satoru, wait—"
but he didn't listen, lifting his hand to force your elbows against each other along your back. your chest jutted out in response, his name leaving your lips in another cry, but before you could do anything, he'd grabbed another length of rope and wrapped it around your elbows, forcing and keeping them pressed against each other.
it was uncomfortable. tight. your arms bent unnaturally behind your back, as gojo looped the rope around four times, before pulling it through the middle, creating a sort of cuff around your elbows and tying it off with a knot. your breasts jiggled with the movement, numb and sore.
his hands fell on your waist, spinning around to face him and you'd glared at him, but he ignored it, reaching around to pull your wrists forward. you'd gasped as he did, the rope around your elbows pinching into the skin and the sensation uncomfortable as he presses your wrists against your waist, using the rope to make a cuff around your left wrist before connecting it to your wrist and doing the same.
it's secure, tight and when you'd tried to pull your hands, they were effectively trapped against each other.
he'd stepped back once done, eyes sparkling with obvious delight as your hands were trapped to your sides, chest jutted out and breasts a nice purple as they're squeezed by the rope digging into your skin. the rope pressed snugged against your clit and inbetween your pussy lips continues to dig uncomfortably into you.
once he'd finished admiring you, he'd stepped forward and with a simple push, he'd sent you cascading backwards onto the bed. you fall onto it with a huff, bouncing slightly in response, unable to catch or balance yourself before you felt his hand wrap around your ankle.
he'd lifted your leg, pressed your ankle against your thigh, and it hadn't been long before you felt the rope you expected wrapping around your ankle, effectively trapping your leg folded at the knee. he wrapped a length around the middle of your calf and thigh, tight and unforgiving, before he'd threaded rope under your knee, inbetween the fold and pulled your leg down, forcing the side of your leg flat against the bed.
and then he secured it against the foot of the bed. he then had done the same with your other leg, leaving you with your legs spread open and unable to close.
"satoru—" you'd cried out, frustrated and scared. "please, let me go. i'm... i'm scared."
pressing his palms against the bed, gojo had hovered over you, face right in front of yours and then shook his head, face teasing and clearly amused with himself.
"open your mouth."
his order had come out sharp, despite the amusement on his face and your own face had paled, shaking your head in refusal. his face had fallen in annoyance and then he'd reached forward, grabbing the rope at your stomach and pulled, hard. your lips had parted involuntarily, crying out in pain at the ache that radiated from the burn against your clit, and before you could even realize your mistake, your panties were shoved into your mouth.
the cotton of the fabric dried up the saliva in your mouth and your eyes had bulged, tasting yourself on your own tongue, moving to spit them out before gojo had grabbed you by the jaw and wrapped a shorter length of rope around your mouth. he wrapped it around a few times, keeping hold of the other end, before tying it off into a knot on the back of your head.
effectively gagging you with your own panties.
completely immobile, your struggles on the bed had been nothing more than pathetic and futile. you squirmed around on the bed, looking like a fish out of water, as gojo had stood back and watched on with a smirk.
"this is where the fun really starts."
those words had given you pause. completely stilling on the bed, your mind raced for what that could've meant, muffled cries of indignation leaving your lips as gojo left the side of the bed and fiddled with something out of view.
when he'd come back, you still couldn't see him. all you could see was him kneel at the edge of the bed, hot breathe fanning across your bare pussy, your legs twitching to close but unable to because of the rope.
you expected him to do something. touch you, eat you out like he'd claimed before he loved so much. but he didn't do any of that. a moment had passed and then his fingers had slipped underneath the rope along your navel, sliding down until he'd pulled it off your clit and your eyes had narrowed, confused, unintelligable questions leaving your lips.
something small and plastic was pressed against your clit a second later and you instantly had known what it was.
a bullet vibrator.
gojo had been eerily silent as he pulled back, letting the rope fall back in place, this time against the vibe instead of your clit, keeping it firm in place.
he'd stood to his full height then, looming at the end of the bed as you'd stared back at him, shaking your head as pathetic, desperate, muffled pleas left your lips.
he'd ignored every single one of them.
a second later the vibes started, causing your whole body to jerk in response, spasming in your binds as it shot straight against your core. gojo had pulled the chair from the desk on the other side of the room in front of you and sat down in it, directly in front of your pussy and watched.
just... sat there.
eyes focused solely on you as you squirmed and wiggled in your binds, body shaking and sweat building as the vibes shot straight to your clit and sent you reeling.
you'd orgasmed for the first time within five minutes. gojo had stuck around for three more before he'd stood up, the vibe never failing in it's job, and simply walked out the room.
that was three hours ago. not that you were fully aware of the timing. it could've been days given how it felt to you. you were exhausted, your sensitive, puffy and overstimulated pussy being continously tortured by the vibes forced against you.
you'd lost track of how many orgasms you had.
all you knew was that you were a mess. snot dribbling down your face, mixed with your tears and spit from the gag, skin raw and red from pulling at the restraints desperately to no avail. everything burned, you felt like you might pass out soon if it didn't stop. the pleasure had gone, turned painful as orgasm after orgasm was ripped from you.
you felt like you might go insane. your brain was a fog of nothing, incoherent words, regardless of the gag, leaving your lips as you sobbed and twitched.
"pweash! no! make it shtop!"
another orgasm rocks through your body, lighting your senses on fire as your vision blackens out and your head lolls.
gojo walks through the door then.
he's grinning, bright eyed and happy, a skip in his step as he takes you in, letting his eyes take in your abused and ruined body. he makes no rush as your dazed and lidded eyes fall on him, your desperations renewing at the sight of a potential savour. pleas that are useless leave your lips, wiggling as you try to will him to set you free.
"you look so pretty," is all gojo says, still stood by the door.
he doesn't make a single step to help you.
you cry out, insanity seeping into the edges as that coil begins to tighten again.
"i just thought i'd check in on you," he explains but you can barely process his words. "make sure you're still concious." he laughs as another orgasm is pulled from you.
"it's getting pretty late so i think i might just leave you like this for the night."
that you hear. your eyes snap back to him, wide eyed and panic seizing you.
"maybe i'll set you free in the morning. we'll see." he shrugs as if you're not in pain, overstimulated and on the verge of losing your mind.
you cry out, body jerking, nails digging into the skin of your tummy, creating welts hard enough that blood begins to pool.
"after all," gojo says, voice sweet and light, "that's what bad girls get when they try and run away, right?"
his laugh is loud and mocking as another orgasm rocks your body, not a single care in the world as you spasm, choked sounds leaving your lips behind your soaked panties suffocating you. your eyes lull and you look effectively fucked out, unable to escape as the vibration gets stronger, thanks to the remote in gojo's hand.
and then he leaves, letting the door slam shut behind him just as a gargled, tortured scream leaves your lips.
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icycoldninja · 2 days
Note
Hello! Can you do a dmc boys + V with a rich S/o? Perhaps the boys didn’t know that their s/o was rich when they first started dating but as time went on and the relationship becomes serious the s/o starts to spoil their boyfriends with all kinds of stuff related to the things they like because after the stuff they went through they definitely deserve it.
Aww yes, here you go and enjoy!
Sparda boys + V x Rich!Reader headcannons
¤ Dante ¤
-He was completely oblivious to your wealth (as you did a great job of hiding it) and didn't really give it much thought until one day, when his power went out.
-He groaned, suddenly remembering he had no money to pay the bills, but then, astoundingly, the lights flickered back on.
-Was it a miracle? No, even better, it was you. You had paid his bills and gotten him out of debt with Lady--how?! Then you revealed you were rich, and Dante's mind was blown.
-Even after this stunning revalation, Dante still didn't care. He was very thankful for all your help, but he honestly had no sentiments towards being rich. He still treated you the same.
-The only thing he'll ask you for is for you to buy him some pizza, maybe once every week or so. He's not greedy.
-If you decide to shower him with presents anyway, he'll gladly accept and immediately find a way to make it up to you, be it taking you somewhere nice or...something else. No do not read into that
■ Vergil ■
-Vergil never noticed, and never cared. He is far too MOTIVATED to trifle with mundane things such as wealth.
-But then you presented him with a rare copy of a book that was worth hundreds of dollars, and he had to question, how did you obtain the funds for such a thing?
-Thus, you revealed you were absolutely loaded with cash, and Vergil was, understably shocked.
-After thanking you, he went right back to not caring about wealth because now he has this interesting book to read.
-Still, he appreciates it when you gift him little gifts, regardless of what they may be. You could give him a pebble you found on the side of the road, and he'd still treasure it forever.
-To reward you for your generosity, Vergil will do his best to take good care of you, physically and otherwise.
□ Nero □
-Nero didn't think much of it either, cause he's not shallow, but one day, Nico's van broke down in the middle of the road and was assaulted by demons who ripped up the exterior. Repairs were going to be extremely expensive, but then you stepped in and promised to take care of it all.
-Nero had to wonder, where'd you get the funds for that? You sheepishly revealed your wealth and he just shrugged.
-After thanking you and all that, things proceeded as usual, with you and Nero splitting the bills for everything as you always do.
-Nero never asks for anything, regardless of how expensive it is, but you don't care. You shower him with gifts, love and affection because this sweet boy deserves it.
-You two end up leaving little treats 'n things for each other at a designated "drop off" spot somewhere in your house.
-Your gifts always seem to be well thought out and expertly made, proving that you don't just buy meaningless trinkets to appease him, you get him things that truly have value.
● V ●
-V noticed you always seemed to be impeccably dressed, but didn't dwell on the subject since it wasn't all that important. His current objective was to get to know you further.
-Then, as things progressed between you, he found himself constantly receiving little presents on his doorstep, usually wrapped in shimmering velvet bows. There was no name tag and no writing on it, so he had no idea who was doing this or why.
-One day, Griffon caught you placing a little gift box and, Griffon being Griffon, decided to rat you out.
-V then approached you the next day and expressed his appreciation, which led to a massive confession on both your parts. You explained you just wanted to give him the luxury he deserves, and he was very touched, but insisted you didn't need to do that.
-But of course, you don't listen, and continued to spoil him however possible, even if you have to break in at 3:00 A.M. and leave it on his kitchen table.
-Eventually you had him move in with you, where you can treat him like the lovely princess he is.
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mistress-ofmagic · 2 days
Text
Around the Realms in 80 days - chapter 22
Pairing: Reader x Loki
Story summary: You have fallen through a portal during the convergence into Asgard and come face to face with Thor, and his brother Loki. With no way to return, you must travel with the two men and their hoard of asgardian soldiers to get back home. Things get from bad to worse when you have to share a tent with the god of mischief himself.
Notes:
Okay I don't know if any of you guys are still out there and still wanting an update for this story but I'm providing one anyway! I really do hope that you're still with me (and if you can't remember what happened that feels like a good time for a re-read right??)
Read this story on a03!
find all parts to this story on Tumblr here:
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You’d had better days, you mused. 
Better weeks, months, years…
“If you continue pulling that face it will get stuck and you’ll get wrinkles” Loki chimed behind you. 
You glared up at him, scowling even harder out of spite. 
He grinned down at you.
After Loki’s admission two days ago, his mood had been…interesting. He had stayed beside you in the hospital when he could, but he kept swapping between being distant and being close. 
No real change there then, you thought.
You hadn’t brought the whole being a frost Giant thing up again, despite your thousands of questions in case you pushed him too far and he got annoyed with you and decided to stop visiting. 
Now however, he seemed to be in a good mood although you felt that had more to do with the fact he was currently pushing you around in a wheelchair. 
His eyes had lit up when the nurses had suggested it, despite the fact you felt well enough to walk really and for most of your journey you would just be in the lift anyway. You had protested multiple times but now Loki had got the idea in his head there was really no persuading him otherwise.
“Isn’t this nice?” He asked, too jovial for your liking. 
You put your tongue out and rolled your eyes when you thought he wasn’t looking. 
“I saw that you little chit.” 
He rocked the wheelchair like he was going to tip you out. 
“LOKI!” You yelled, gripping to the sides of your chair. 
The lift attendant had looked pale when you’d first stepped in, and now he looked rather green.
Loki roared with laughter. 
“Oh come on darling, you really think I would throw a vulnerable maiden out of her chair?”
Before having to face that your answer to that question might actually be no and that you knew Loki would never do anything to hurt you, or the fact that this was the third time he had called you darling, the doors of the lift opened onto the floor where you were meeting with Stark and the Avengers. 
Apparently Tony had wanted to wait until you were a bit better before doing a debrief on what had gone down on Muspelheim.
Loki wheeled you down small corridor and into the large meeting room. Like many of the rooms in Stark towers, the windows were completely glass and looking down onto the city below. It was as far as being outside as you had got in the past few days and you stared out, longingly. 
Distracting you slightly from the view, was the Avengers sat around the table. Thor was there of course, as well as Captain America, Natasha and Dr Bruce Banner. A smaller cohort that had welcomed you in when you had first arrived. 
Natasha seemed to assess you with cool eyes, but Bruce shot you a sympathetic look which you felt was a lot to do with the fact you were wearing a very cool and flattering nightie with Shrek’s face all over it as it was the only thing that could fit over your bandages. 
Loki wheeled you into a space that had been left chair-less for you as he took the one next to you. 
Tony gave you a tired smile.
“How you feeling kid?”
“Better thank you. And thank you for the care on your wards too!” 
He brushed you off with a wave of his hand. 
“I suppose I should thank you for saving Rock of Ages life too.” Tony shot Loki a disgruntled look. “He is helping us with this situation after all.” He said, as if he wasn’t particularly happy about it. “Its nice to see you taking your babysitting duties very seriously, although next time I’d appreciate it if you stay away from certain death, he’s not worth it.” 
Loki gave a half shrug, “that’s one thing we agree on.” 
You scowled again. 
“Plus now you are officially hired as a member of my workforce, it reflects badly on me.”
You snorted, “If the babysitter club ever want a new member i’ll be the first in line. And don’t worry, I have no desire to face certain death ever again.” 
Although I would save Loki again, a little voice in your head added that you pushed down into the depths of your subconscious. 
“So, Wonderland’s still with us, but we still no nothing about the current alien threat to Earth.” Stark said gloomily. 
“Well, we found out Surtur’s made some sort of deal with someone to er…cause something.” Thor supplied.
Stark pinched the bridge of his nose.
“Next to nothing then. Natasha?” 
She shrugged. “Nothing at any of the reported sites, no sign of anything coming in or out.” 
“We did learn that they are taking humans for something.” You piped up. 
Everyone stared at you and you immediately regretted speaking at all.
“One of the fire demons told me.” You mumbled.
“Is there no help from your…lot?” Steve asked to Thor. 
“Sadly, Ragnarok is a myth across the other realms too, not just on Midgard. There will be many that don’t take it seriously seriously. And, no one would be bothered enough about a few missing humans to get involved in an intergalactic war.” Loki shrugged. 
Stark scoffed “A few?”
He pulled up a page a hologram of various news stories over the past few weeks, of humans going missing, seemingly vanishing without a trace. 
It was worse than you thought, and it seemed the rates where going up by the day. 
“The fire demon I spoke with, he told me I could go with him, somewhere where they could make me more powerful.” You spoke again. 
Tony and Bruce swapped concerned faces. 
“Did he say anything else?”
“No, not really, just promises of a greater future or something.”
“Well it might not be much but, good work.” Steve said, and flashed you an all American pearly smile and you blushed in spite of yourself.
“Yes, Latte has proved herself to be truly courageous on this trip.” Thor agreed. 
“Oh well, I don’t know about all that.” You murmured feeling your face burn up. It was only an accident anyway that you had found anything out, it’s not like you’d stormed up to a fire demon and demand he speak to you. 
Nevertheless, you were only a few beats away from kicking your feet and giggling but you refrained yourself.
Loki muttered something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like “suck up” and you glared at him, taking a long swig of water to cool yourself down. 
“You reap what you sow kid, I’ll be recruiting you to do further missions with Loki if you’re not careful. Who knew the worlds rudest goth could make friends? And a lowly earthling at that.” Stark challenged.
You tensed. You weren’t really 100% sure if Loki actually did consider you a friend, or if he would take offence at the insinuation. 
But Loki leaned back in his chair, “We are friends, friends with benefits.” 
You choked on your water and it spilled down Shreks face as Thor gave you a pat on the back that nearly sent your lungs through your mouth. 
While you recovered no one knew what to say, Steve and Bruce looked alarmed, you weren’t sure if that was at Lokis statement or the fact you had spat out half a glass of water and Starks mouth was hung wide open, his eyes open comically large, Natasha looked mildly amused.
“Its not…” You said between coughing. “That’s not true…Loki…Loki doesn’t know what that term means…he…he can’t….”
You turned to him.
“Where did you even hear that being said?” You spluttered. 
He narrowed his eyes at you. 
“You deny that we are friends in front of Stark and his goonies?”
“I’m not denying were friends Loki, I’m denying were friends with benefits. That doesn’t mean what you think it does it means something really specific on Earth. What…What benefits does our friendship bring?”
Loki shuffled in his seat “Well…you have taught me how to use a midgardian communication device and I have taught you…”
You cut him off “Great, expect thats not what friends with benefits means here it means…” You blushed heavily again. 
“It means friends who…” you tried again. 
Loki was watching you carefully with an eyebrow raised, the corner of his mouth starting to twitch and your uncomfortableness.
“Friends who fuck.” Natasha finished off helpfully. 
You felt your face grow even redder if that were possible. 
“Ah.” Loki said, in a measured tone although you thought you noticed a very light blush across his pale complexion. “I understand now that that might have been misleading.” 
“Well thank God we cleared that up.” Stark sighed, “I thought we were going to have to admit you to the psych ward instead of the burns ward.”
You stared down to avoid eye contact with Loki, feeling a bit awkward. 
“What’s the plan?” Steve asked. 
“Asgardians?” Stark aimed at Thor.
“We won’t get anything more information from Surtur…”
“The people of this planet are disappearing! Into thin air! And some Alien thingies are the culprit! How can I be the protector of the human race if I don’t even have any leads!” Stark yelled. 
Thor and Steve swapped looks. 
“There might be more information we can gather across the other realms” Thor shrugged, “If the true enemy behind this is thought not to be human then they could potentially come from another Realm.”
“We would have no idea where to start though, it’s not like the nine realms are a small area to cover.” Loki argued. 
“Doctor Foster does a lot of research into the nine realms, will she have any information for us?” Tony asked Thor hopefully.
“I…I can ask her to see what she has found.” Thor placated. 
“In the meantime, we have our best scientists searching the skies for any sign of alien invasions.” Bruce added. “Tony I’m sure we will find something, we’ve got people going to sites where people have disappeared and looking into traces and signals that have been left behind, something is bound to flag up. And the researchers will keep monitoring the fire demons.”
Stark sighed. And you got a feeling that until this thing was settled he was never be satisfied, knowing the people of Earth were in danger. 
“Meeting adjourned or whatever… I need a fucking drink.” 
                                                                         ***
“13 down, 7 letters, a drawing intended to explain how something happens.” 
“Diagram?” 
Oliver nodded, writing it down. 
“Okay… 5 across, 5 letters, spaghetti for example that’s got to be pasta…what about this one, 8 letters, endurance.”
“Stamina? No wait, that’s only 7…patience?” 
“Yeah, has to be.” 
It was the day after Starks meeting. Loki had wheeled you back into your hospital room after the meeting and then he’d had to then leave pretty sharpish, stating he had something he needed to do although you wondered if he still felt awkward about the whole friends with benefits thing. Then again, you wondered if Loki ever really felt awkward about anything, or if he was immune to embarrassment.
After the meeting you had been so damn tired that by the time he’d wheeled you back you’d been nearly asleep. The meeting was the most you had done since the attack and it had exhausted you. 
Plus you were still pretty drowsy from all the pain medication you were on. You’d expected him to call over a nurse but instead he’d actually gotten you the medication you needed and then to your extreme surprise, he’d picked you up from your chair bridal style and put you into bed. 
You were almost too sleepy to have noticed what was going on, but shockingly you were certain he had left a featherlight kiss on your forehead before he left. 
Maybe you had imagined it in your sleepy state, after all he hadn’t been in to see you today.
The nurse had visited today and checked you over, changing your bandages. She had assured you your burns were healing nicely, and Loki’s fast thinking of applying his cold skin to your stomach and chest had saved most of your skin resulting in you only needing a smallish emergency skin graft.  
You’d also been joined by Oliver, who had come prepared for the nurses recommendation of resting as much as possible by providing cross-words. 
“You’re pretty good at these.” He gave his lopsided grin. 
“Symptoms of a misguided youth I’m afraid. I might not have gone to Harvard but I am pretty nifty with a crossword.” 
“Harvard’s overrated.”
“Alright for you to say Mr Ivy League.”
Oliver chuckled. “Wait this is a cryptic one, it says ‘to tantalise the left is a plant.’
“Huh? Wait let me see.”
Oliver stood up from the chair and brought the book over to you. He perched himself on the edge of your hospital bed and you moved over to give him more room.
“Do you need any more medication?” Oliver suddenly asked. 
“I should be good thank you.” You smiled at him. 
Man he was so sweet. Loki had done the same thing yesterday but still. It was nice to have someone else here who cared about you. 
You caught his blue eyes. He had nice looking eyes you noticed, but they missed the tint of green you were used to seeing in Loki’s eyes. 
Actually, why where you thinking about Lokis eyes at all?
Oliver placing his hand over yours on the bed brought you back to the present moment. 
“I was thinking, maybe when you’re feeling better I could take you….”
Before Oliver could finish his sentence, the door to your room opened and Loki strode in. 
Loki took in your close proximity to Oliver, and the fact you were holding hands and his eyes narrowed. 
There was a moment of awkward silence, and for some reason your natural instinct was to jump back sheepishly from Oliver. Despite having no reason at all to feel guilt, you still felt…something.
“I had come to see how you were faring, but I see you have company already.” Those blue/green eyes you had just been thinking about were harsher than you had seen them in a while. 
“We were just doing cross words.” You said, lamely. 
Instead of keeping your mouth shut you continued like an imbecile. “Erm were stuck on a cryptic one if you wanted to help…”
“And intrude on this…personal moment.” He sneered.
“That wasn’t…I mean we were just…” You started and then sat up further in bed, trying to look authoritative, which was harder than you might think for someone attached to an IV drip. “Actually I don’t have to explain myself to you.” 
“Oh, I see.” His voice was cold, and it felt like the room got colder too.
“What do you see?”
Loki ignored you.
“Get out.” He directed at Oliver. 
Your temper started to rise.
“Hey, he doesn’t have to leave we were in the middle of something.”
“Look, um maybe I should just go.” Oliver spoke up squeezing your hand before standing up. 
“I’ll leave the book here for you for when you get bored. I hope you feel better, I’ll come visit again soon and bring some more stuff.” He gave you a quick kiss on the cheek. 
Kudos to Oliver, he walked past Loki out of the room without crying or screaming.
After he had left, Loki breezed into the room and arranged the flowers at the table at the bottom of the table like he hadn’t just yelled at your friend to leave. 
“Dude what is wrong with you?” You directed at Loki. “I am allowed to have friends!”
He rolled his eyes. 
“He clearly wants to be more than friends.”
You made a funny noise in the back of your throat. You wouldn’t be totally against Oliver having more than friendly feelings, a distraction from these insane feelings for Loki that keep creeping up out of no where might be a good thing, right? 
Not that you had any feelings for Loki, obviously.
Loki studied you closely before clearing his throat. 
“Are you and this mortal…friends with benefits?” 
“Loki!” You glared at him.
His facial expression remained calm as he continued staring at you.
“I’m simply asking."
“No! No, God I wish you had never learnt what that term meant. Also I am sleeping next to you every night where would I find the time?”
“Yes, you are aren’t you.” He said, too smugly for your liking. 
“Although I do have every right to explore…you know, that side of things with someone if I want to.” 
His eyes narrowed again, and stood up taller.
“We are in the middle of a crisis here. Is now the right time to be engaging in a dalliance?” 
“You can’t be serious!” You said indignantly. 
“I’m being very serious!”  He matched your tone. 
"Are you giving me a lecture right now on my love life?” When he didn’t say anything you continued. 
“You don’t even care about humans, why are you even bothered about this crisis suddenly?”
“You’re being ridiculous, you can’t seriously mean to engage with this… mere mortal. ” 
“I’m being ridiculous? You’re being ridiculous! In case you forgot, I happen to be a mere mortal too!”
Loki kind of did look taken a back for a second, as if he had actually forgotten that. 
“What I get up to is not even any of your business.” You told him
“Fine.” He sneered, walking towards the door.
“Fine!” You shouted back. 
He slammed the door behind him as you threw your puzzle book at him. 
“Ah!” You screamed to yourself. 
The cheek of that asshole to have a go at you for letting yourself engage in some dating when he was the one that slept with Ylva while you were touring around Asgard. 
You tossed and turned around in your bed, but eventually the drowsiness kicked back in and you managed to fall asleep. 
                                                                     ***
One moment, you were fast asleep, the next moment you heard an explosion. You sat up quickly, disorientated and confused. Another explosion sounded and you got up and ran to the window.
You blinked and blinked again. 
A piece of metal fell seemingly from the sky and you looked up. 
The tower was under attack. 
Notes: I hoped you guys enjoyed this and are still liking the story!!
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Text
Peace Offerings Pt.7
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Pairing: Joel Miller x F!Reader
Series Summary: Joel makes a bad impression on the reader when he cuts in front of her at the radio station in the QZ. Abe, a father figure to her and an informant of Joel’s, informs her that the two have something in common: A brother in Wyoming. Joel reluctantly follows Abe’s wishes when he asks him to take the reader along to help find her brother too. As the journey goes on, she finds that despite his best efforts to make her think so, Joel isn’t a complete asshole, and maybe even a little… attractive?
Series Warnings: Slow burn, Age gap (reader is 34, Joel is 56), 18+ Minors DNI, Sexual Themes, Violence, Injuries (depictions of blood, bruising, broken bones), Cursing, Grumpy!Joel, Minimal depictions of reader's appearance (hair color/length.)
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Part Seven
I’d fallen asleep on the couch. Joel placing a mug of coffee onto the table beside me had been my sign to wake up. “What time is it?” I asked while wiping the sleep out of my eyes. “Early. We need to catch up on time.” He said. He was back to his rigid self. I guess last night had been too much for him. I sat up and stretched before taking a sip of the hot, stale liquid. It burned my tongue, but I played it cool. He dropped my backpack in front of me and slung his own over his shoulder. “Be ready in five.” He grunted and turned to walk out the front door. “Aye aye captain.” I mumbled under my breath as I reached for my boots. 
I nearly stumbled out onto the porch, and met Joel at the bottom of the stairs. “Ready.” I said. He stood up with a grunt and we began our trek. The air was beginning to get colder, and soon my sweatshirt wouldn’t be enough. I took stock of the clothing I had left in my bag, and even then, I still wouldn’t make it through the winter. “We should find somewhere for warm clothes.” I suggested. He nodded and replied, “Keep an eye out.” I plucked the map he had tucked into the side pocket of his backpack and opened it up. My eyes scanned the area, and if my eyes weren’t deceiving me, there was a shopping mall about 10 miles north. I relayed the information to Joel, and of course he grabbed the map from me, needing to confirm it for himself. I stood close to him, pointing to where I saw the mall. He nodded and folded up the map before handing it to me to shove back into the pocket. 
It took five hours, but we’d finally caught sight of the mall. After 5 hours of walking, my mind was fried, and I was even convinced the mall could have been a mirage. “You see that too right?” I asked Joel, my words slurring slightly. “Yup.” He answered. “Just making sure.” 
We closed the distance between us and the ginormous building. “This is going to be a bitch to clear.” I sighed. “Just keep it down.” Joel demanded as he pushed the door open with a creak. Memories of my childhood flooded back as I caught sight of the grand entryway to the abandoned mall. “Stay behind me.” He whispered as we entered the building cautiously. I kept my head on a swivel and kept up with Joel’s quickened pace. He stopped at the opening of what looked like a sporting goods store. I followed him inside, and once we deemed the area clear, we untensed and began to load any clothes we saw into our bags. I chose a wind breaker with a sherpa lining and a few sweaters to go underneath. Joel grabbed us each a pair of gloves and a hat. I’d wandered off to see if there was anything else of use, and was eyeing the picked over shoe racks when I felt the hair on the back of my neck stand up. I heard it before I saw it. The familiar raspy breath of an infected. I turned around and caught sight of the nasty thing. It came barreling forward but ran into a rack and sent it flying into me. It slammed against my torso and pinned me to the shoe display. I began to lose vision from the pain of my already cracked ribs being beaten even further. With the little strength I could muster, I pushed the rack off me and used it to keep the distance between the monster and I. It’s arms flailed over the side of the rack as it tried to get a hold of me, but I ducked and dodged each time. I prayed for Joel to find me since I didn’t have the time to take my eyes off of the infected to get my gun from the floor. I stood there fighting the creature as hard as I could all while trying not to collapse from the agony. I finally hurt a gunshot and the creature dropped to the floor. I let go of the rack and paused, ensuring that it was fully dead, and soon after Joel’s hand grabbed my arm and yanked me backwards. “We gotta get out of here. Go!” 
I ran as fast as I could behind Joel, and once he felt that we were far enough away from the mall, he slowed to a jog. “You promised you wouldn’t do that.” He breathed. “I know.” I gasped. “So what the fuck possessed you to?” He questioned, his voice gaining volume from growing anger. “I…I don’t know, I just wanted to see what else we could get.” I stuttered, feeling fear pulse through my abdomen. His dark eyes practically burned holes into me. He said nothing and turned to continue to walk along the path we’d fallen upon. 
About two hours later, we’d come upon a and cleared school to rest in for the night. He’d been silent, clearly angry at me for wandering away from him. I didn’t want to speak to him either. Even if his anger was because of the fact he cared about me, I hated being talked down to and treated like an irresponsible child. He sat across the grimy, dust filled teachers lounge and bore his eyes into me. I tried to ignore the pain across the right side of my stomach, but it got worse with each breath, and would soon be impossible to ignore. I needed to do something about it, but if Joel saw that I was hurt I would get another lecture. I sat still on the couch, picking at my fingernails to avoid eye contact. “I know you’re hurt.” He grumbled. My eyes shot up to him, “What? I’m fine.” I said defensively. “Then get up and twist to the side.” He demanded. I raised my eyebrows, continuing to act confused, “What the fuck are you on about, Joel? I’m fine, I’m just tired.” I insisted. He stood up and walked over, standing over me and studying my body with his eyes. “Don’t fuckin’ lie to me.” He said, his voice getting lower with impatience. I sighed, my side rippling with pain, and reluctantly sat up while stifling a grunt. I stood, causing Joel to take a step back. “Here’s your proof.” I said as I began to twist to the side. The pain was so bad the wind was knocked out of me and I stumbled backwards, my ass landing on the couch. Joel’s face remained unchanged except for a small glint in his eye. He clearly loved when I was wrong. 
I stared up at him angrily while catching my breath. “Lift up your shirt.” He said. I chucked, “Woah, Miller, take me out to dinner first.” He unsurprisingly did not laugh at my joke, and sat on the couch next to me, leaving about two feet between us. I rolled my eyes and lifted up my shirt while sucking air through my teeth. Joel’s eyes widened and his lips parted. “Wha-” I began to ask but my breath caught in my throat when I caught sight of the nasty multicolored bruise painted across the right side of my abdomen. “Must’ve broken a rib. A few ribs at least.” He said before absentmindedly moving his calloused fingers up to touch it. I jerked away and spat, “Don’t fucking touch it.” He quickly moved his hand away and muttered, “Sorry.” I pulled my shirt back down and sat back on the couch with a grunt. I looked at him, wondering what his next move would be. He stood up and walked to his backpack on the other side of the room, unzipped it, and pulled out a long-sleeved shirt. “Joel, don’t waste a perfectly good shirt, I’ll be fine.” I said, but he ignored me and I watched him as he ripped it and tied it to make a longer strip of fabric. 
When he was finished, he walked back over to me and gestured for me to stand again. I raised my shirt up for him again and he didn’t move. He cleared his throat and said “It’ll need to go under your shirt.” I nodded and reluctantly pulled my t-shirt off, leaving only my ratty bra to cover my breasts. He unraveled the fabric and began to wrap it around my torso a few times, then looped it over my opposite shoulder. I winced as he pulled it tighter before tying one last knot in the center of my chest. Pulling the fabric had forced our bodies closer together, the warmth of his breath brushing over my face. His head turned down, and his eyes bounced back and forth between my eyes and my lips, and I could have sworn he leaned in closer before pulling away quickly. Embarrassment flooded my cheeks as he took a step back and studied his work, making sure it was tied correctly. The tightness of the wrap pressed into the bruise causing a dull ache, but moving with it on felt much better than nothing. “Thanks.” I said quietly. He nodded and sat back down on the other couch, not thinking to look away as I put my shirt back on. 
“I told you to stay behind me. And now look at you.” He huffed after a minute of silence. “Oh save it, Joel.” I spat. He leaned forward on his knees, “There was no need for you to go and get yourself hurt. We agreed what I say goes, so you need to start actin’ like it.” His eyes were intense, he wasn’t fucking around. I only agreed to that sentiment so he would take me with him to find our brothers in Wyoming. I thought he knew that since I showcased my hardheadedness often. “We both lived, and I’ll be fine.” I said, wanting to end the conversation. “We’re staying here while you heal. Not getting back on the road until you can move correctly again. S’not safe.” I lifted my head off the couch to look at him, “You can’t be serious. My legs are fine! I can walk!” He pressed his lips together and shook his head, “You can’t move your upper body. You can’t fight.” He said. I rolled my eyes and let a puff of air leave my nose, “Staying here will only make the trip longer. I want to get to Wyoming, Joel.” He thought for a minute and then looked up at me, “We’ll get there faster if you take the time to rest.” He argued. I stood up and grabbed my backpack, stifling the grimaces as I gathered my things. “What’re you doing?” He asked, eyeing me as I moved around the room. “I’m getting on the road. Don’t need someone to hold me back.” I muttered as I began to walk towards the door of the lounge. Joel bolted to the door and stood blocking it. I stared daggers at him, “Move.” He shook his head side to side slowly. I pushed on his chest as hard as I could with both of my hands, “Fucking move, asshole!” I winced when he grabbed my arms and pushed me to the side, pinning my back against the wall beside the door. “I can’t let you do that.” He grunted, using his strength to hold me. I tried to struggle against his grip but my side was searing with pain. “You can. I’m a grown woman, Joel. I don’t need you to protect me like some guard dog. I’ll do just fine on my own.” I seethed, “Let go of me. Please I just want to get to my brother.” 
Tears of frustration pooled in my eyes. Joel’s hard gaze softened, and so did his grip. “You will. But you won’t get far with broken ribs. I’m trying to help you.” He said calmly. I looked at him through my tears. Took in his wild brown hair which was sprinkled with grey, his square jaw inhabited by a patchy beard, eyes the color of ground coffee, eyes that were pleading for me to stay. I didn’t know why, but I was beyond attracted to him. Sure, he was older, but what did that matter nowadays? In addition to his looks, his commanding and dark personality intrigued me. He clearly cared about me, but he had walls up. Hard, concrete walls that were going to take maximal effort to break down. But hell was I going to try because I’ve never said no to a challenge. 
“You want me to stay, huh?” I asked, blinking away my tears as a new idea popped into my head. “I don’t want you to get killed.” He said gruffly. I smirked slightly, “Then admit it.” I blurted. His face twisted into an expression that was confusion mixed with fear. He took a step back, letting his arms fall to his sides. “What?” He questioned. “Yeah, that’s right. If you want me to stay so badly, admit that you care about me.” I taunted as I walked towards him. He stumbled over his words, but I cut him off again, “C’mon, Joel, you’ve slaughtered people but you’re afraid to confess your feelings to a woman?” I chuckled. He stood staring at me. His chest rising and falling with his panicked breaths. He said nothing, and my heart fell slightly, but I kept my confident air. “Fine. See you in hell.” I said before turning to walk out of the door. Before my hand could touch the handle, I felt a calloused grip on the back of my neck. The hand pulled me backwards and I turned. I barely had time to process, and suddenly my lips were moving hungrily with Joel’s. 
Warmth and excitement spread through my stomach as his arms gently wrapped around my waist. His hands shakily held onto the small of my back, his fingers clenching into the fabric of my shirt when I let a small moan slip into his mouth. We lost ourselves in each other. Our hands explored places neither of us ever thought we’d touch. His strong hands moved cautiously up my waist and around my shoulders to settle into each crook of my neck. He used his body to push me backwards into the wall. My hands gripped his torso, pulling him closer, using anything but words to ask him for more. His tongue licked my bottom lip and I eagerly let him in. He tasted better than anything I’d imagined. Suddenly, he pulled away. “I can’t.” He grunted as he gently pushed his hands off of my hips and stalked away into the other room, leaving me with swollen lips, heavy breathing, confusion, and rejection. 
I sat on the couch staring at the ground and chewing on my fingernails. I felt embarrassed at how desperate I’d been for him, and for actually thinking he would open up to me. I dropped my head into my hands and let out a frustrated groan. His footsteps caused my head to snap up, and he stood in the doorway. His face was unreadable. “Joel,” I started to speak but he cut me off. “Don’t. It was a mistake. Won’t happen again. Now get some sleep. We’re getting back on the road in the morning.” He said as he laid down on the other couch. I nodded and laid back, turning away from him. My thoughts made sleep seem unreachable. His voice grounding out the word “mistake” over and over in my mind. Maybe he was right. Maybe it was all one huge mistake. Me leaving the QZ for my brother, Joel agreeing to take me with him. But it was too late now. We were so close to Wyoming. I decided I would suck it up, not enage with Joel unless I had to, and stick to his plans no matter what. I just needed to survive, and I would make it to Matthew. 
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Author's Note: Hi hi! We're finally getting some action in this part;) Also, I've had a request to start a tag list so please let me know if you'd like to be added!! I hope you enjoy <3
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