#but like they did what they had to do and nobody who cares about them would ever hold it against them

[minervas-hand]

Right to fear, wrong to believe

Just had a horrible realization and needed to meta it out.

How different they were before Edinburgh, when Crowley was sucked down into Hell.

Look at this flirty babygirl in the Bastille:

I mean could he climb that tree any faster?

(This is why I really like fics that place a more physical relationship here, pre-Bastille or just post-Bastille, because c'mon look at them. )

In S1 the next thing is 1862 and Crowley asking for insurance (with a cane ffs). And Aziraphale freaking out with his "fraternizing" BS. It's jarring, until we get 1827 filled in for us in S2.

@takeme-totheworld notes in this post:

Crowley sure went from "our respective head offices don't actually care how things get done" and "nobody ever has to know" to "walls have ears" FAST after Edinburgh. And Aziraphale went from looking at Crowley with hearts in his eyes to "I've been FrAtErNiZiNg" just as quickly. I'm more convinced than ever that Edinburgh was the first time Crowley ever actually got caught and punished for fucking around with Aziraphale/doing good deeds/whatever it was they yanked him back down to Hell for, and it scared the absolute shit out of both of them and changed the whole tone of their relationship after that.

Yes! - it's clear to me as well that the Edinburgh graveyard was a very bad turning point, where they both saw that Hell was listening and would intervene. And it did change their relationship drastically, for over a century and a half (really, until looming Armageddon loosened up the stakes for them).

But what about Heaven?

See the thing is, we know Azi's been worried about Heaven watching him for the past 6000 years.

But they haven't.

[GIFs posted by starrose17]

All this time, and Heaven had not seen them together. Hadn't noticed. Had not even LOOKED.

I want to mention what @starrose17 says about this here in this post:

What I love about this is her choice of words, “went back through the Earth Observation files.” This implies that these photos were already filed somewhere meaning somebody had to have been watching them which meant somewhere in the depths of the bureaucratic heaven there’s an underpaid angel clerk tasked with watching angels on Earth, and he’s been hording photos of his favourite Angel/Demon couple not reporting them to Michael because he wants to see what happens.

And that's exactly what this fic covers!: Spying Omens by @ednav

(Give this a read, it's fabulous.)

While I am here for this being exactly how that happens, the other scenario is colder and worse - there's no one watching, at all. It's just filing automatically and never seen until some Scrivener is called to pull a file.

From @fuckyeahisawthatat's comment here :

I found this scene to be quite chilling, actually. Not only is the idea of Heaven as a surveillance state brilliant (way to make “God is always watching” sound way more ominous) but this is exactly how modern surveillance states work. They don’t actively watch everybody all the time. That’s not physically possible for humans, and even if it is metaphysically possible for Heaven, it’s not a very efficient use of resources. Surveillance states watch people they deem “suspicious.” And once you’ve been put in the category of “suspicious,” they have massive amounts of data that they can comb through to collect a lot of information about you–to retroactively build a case justifying why you’re suspicious, to collect information about where you go and who you associate with, etc.

Yes.

So we either have secret collusion in the rank and file, or we have a surveillance state that is constantly reinforced to its subjects for fear's sake, for control.

(Well, it obviously could be both.)

BUT my point is… Up until Edinburgh, Hell has not been watching (or caring at least). And up until near the end of Armageddon't, neither has Heaven.

Oh, my poor Angel. Thousands of years, of denying yourself, of pushing Crowley away, of carrying around a tension that is it's own constellation.

After 1827 you might have reason, but for the 5000+ years before that?

Thousands of years and Heaven was not watching nor cared.

You were right to fear. And you were wrong to believe.

And that just breaks my heart.

#okay gonna go reread Spying Omens again because that's my headcanon now #I hope Azi tears out the Earth Observation cams or servers or whatever it is #where's Murderbot when you need a good hack #good omens meta #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #good omens

[koolades-world]

got a request via comment for a part two with the undatables for this mangled wings prompt! been working at trying to incorporate raph into my works so this will be my first post with him in it! part one can be found here

if you haven't done lesson 76-19 (yes i did have to look up the exact lesson haha) there are spoilers below for simeon

enjoy!

Mc with mangled wings p.2

Diavolo

he's always been very empathetic, and he immediately tries to help you in any way he can

he offers you all the moral and emotional support he can offer

he also tries to help you work through it and may know the right people to help you restore what you once had

whatever you need, he will help you as best as he can

Barbatos

when he learns, you're not so sure about how he feels since his expression remains exactly the same

but inside, he's filled with a seething rage that he rarely feels and is something only few can recognize

suddenly, all those that hurt you are begging for forgiveness

when you ask him, he says nothing and offers you a tea party with all your favorite things at it

Simeon

he's very open about how

however, something he'll never tell you is how afraid he was of suffering a similar fate

he's grateful he didn't fall like the brothers did, but now he's just floating in a weird in between

it's an odd bonding moment between the two of you, being outcasted, but part of him feels like you could connect more with the brothers than him

Luke

he's so horrified that people that you once trusted could do that to you

he hugged you and almost started crying while apologizing

after he learns what happened to you, you suddenly find a lot more specialty treats left on your bed that are always right up your alley

while he thinks it might bother you to bring it up directly, he's always asking how you are and how you're feeling

Solomon

he's seen a lot during his lifetime, so while this doesn't phase him too much, that doesn't take away how upset it makes him

he hates seeing you in pain, and as a human, he's known a lot of that

even though you're not, he feels as if the two of you can bond over understanding each other when nobody else does

he hasn't suggested it to you yet, but he's been trying to create something that may help you to restore what you once lost...

Mephisto

you've never seen him act more sympathetic

his facade drops and you can see how much he actually cares about you

with his heart on his sleeve, he shares everything

he lets you know you're welcome in his arms anytime if you need anything, and while he won't admit he had the conversation with you, his actions change

Thirteen

at first she's outraged, but eventually calms down once she sees that you're not as upset

don't give her any names or she might accidently knock over their candle while working

when it comes to be their time naturally! she emphasis naturally, you can come help if you want

reaping is something she does respectfully and this is no exception, but she'd do anything for you

Raphael

he's very serious as usual when he offers to hunt down who did that to you

he wants to seek vengeance on your behalf

even if you tell him not to, part of him will always be thinking about doing it anyways and is always listening for details about them

from then on, anything you ask for, he's getting it done 100% if not already

#obey me #obey me! #obey me x reader #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #obey me mephisto #obey me raphael #obey me solomon #obey me luke #obey me simeon #obey me shall we date #obey me! shall we date #omswd

[mslanna]

Could I request Raphael having an 'Oh, fuck' moment of realization regarding the fact he has fallen for his little mouse? He would definitely realize that this is something that others could use against him.

I may have forgotten about one part of the prompt. 😅 Enby Tav without body configuratiion. Find it on AO3

Sharess' Caress' Super Special

"I knew you would be back." Raphael couldn't help the smug satisfaction mirrored in his smile. He had laid the perfect trap for his little mouse. And as much as Tav tried to evade it, they simply could not. He had made sure of that.

"You waited patiently." Tav sauntered across the room as if they owned it.

"As an immortal, I have all the time in the world. Unlike you." He leant against the desk and looked them over. No signs of transformation were visible on his little mouse. The illithid tried and failed where he, Raphael, would triumph – seducing Tav to his side.

"I'm making the most of it." Tav looked around the room. "Do you?"

"Whatever gave you the impression I am idle just because I reserve special treatment for my favourite future client?" He poured a glass of wine and held it out to them.

"The room doesn't look as if it sees a lot of action." Tav ignored the wine and idly kicked at the petals. "A shame, really. People will promise you anything just before coming."

Raphael took a deep breath. "I do not need to rely on such – crude methods. I reap more than enough souls with less effort."

"Works, though. And, in case you wonder, I don't think I own my soul any longer." Tav grinned insolently. "Promised it to the drow twins. Repeatedly, I think."

Cold acid accumulated in Raphael's stomach. Those charlatans. Not even real twins but counting on the inability of other races to keep drow apart. To think that those two had their hands, and more, all over his client enraged Raphael disproportionally. The fact that Tav enjoyed it enough to offer up their soul-

It was an information to keep close at hand. Nothing else. Not an insult, not an invitation. Though it should be one. He would show that mouse what the worth of their soul was. They'd be begging, crying for release under his hands.

Raphael balled his right into a careful fist. That was not the kind of thought he should be having. Yet the vision would not leave. Tav. Dishevelled. Flushed. Pupils dilated, mouth half open. No. Mouth forming his name and dropping it syllable by syllable to his rhythm.

His nails dug into the flesh of his palms and for once, Raphael was glad not to be in his true form. This was unworthy of him. Just because the room he rented was in a brothel- But that wasn't it. Nobody else had coaxed this reaction from him. He glared at Tav who still stood in the middle of the room, scrutinising the set-up.

"If you would rather exchange pleasure of the flesh for your soul instead of the Orphic Hammer for the Crown of Karsus, something can be arranged." Raphael was proud of his disinterested tone.

Finally, Tav looked at him, at the goblet of wine in his hand. They tilted their head. "Is that an exclusionary decision? Only one or the other?"

Raphael swallowed. The hot flash of anger, certainly anger, at hearing about Tav's exploits had led him to make an unwise offer. Still. Tav was this close to give up their soul. He smiled. "Would you like it to be?"

Tav closed the distance and plucked the cup from his hand. They took a slow sip, savouring the heavy taste of the carefully chosen wine. "If it is, you know I have to choose the Orphic Hammer. To save the world and defer my own desires."

"Such a pity." He lowered his voice and ran a finger along Tav's jaw.

"Says he who almost throws a hissy fit when he hears I fuck somebody else. And enjoy it." Tav grinned and caught his finger with a flick of their head.

Soft lips closed around the tip of his finger and after a wicked wink, Tav circled it with their tongue. Raphael suppressed a moan. Damned mortal. And he did not throw a hissy fit. Tav was free to fuck whoever they wanted – as long as that was him. They were his little mouse and he would give them all they needed. All he wanted.

Raphael pushed his index finger behind Tav's teeth, curled it and pulled them close. "Did your mother never teach not to taunt a devil?" he growled.

"Even if she did, she never dealt with a devil like you." Tav spoke around his finger, tongue teasing him recklessly.

The sensations ran through Raphael's body unchecked, pooling between his legs and parching his mouth. He caught Tav's jaw between his thumb and middle finger, probing their mouth and tongue. Tav held his gaze and suspicion rose in the devil that their confession was not as innocent as they pretended.

"Neither have you." He retrieved his finger and watched as Tav's tongue followed it, still sneaking around its tip. "But since you seem so eager to, that can be arranged."

"Took your sweet time." Tav pressed against him to place the goblet on the desk behind him. Then their hands settled over his ass. When he squirmed, Tav rocked their hips against his, still grinning greedily. "Not that I regret what I had to do to get here, mind you. The twins are good."

Raphael growled. He'd show Tav that those were nothing compared to a devil who did you.

#bg3 #bg3 raphael #raphael x tav #bg3 fanfiction #sleazy second-hand car dealer #anon answered #writing prompt #mel writes fanfic

[obsessedwrhys]

Can we have a part 2 Deadpool reader with the boys and maybe soldier boy too❓❓ if you want to of course

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ The Boys x Deadpool!Reader

t/w: loooots of dark humour/jokes, reader's origin will be explained underneath, reader is still an asshole lol that comes with the character, mention about killing,death,gore, weed, drugs, Reader is gn!!!

ᯓ★ here's a version with the seven, kiss kiss <3

Origin:

Quick summary, when you were born, your parents had agreed with Vought to have you be pumped full of Compound V so you could grow up and be a hero working under them, but the problem was when you were around 7, they changed their mind so Vought ended up sending several people to come to your house to settle the matter.

Your whole family was massacred in the living room during thanksgiving and when they tried to capture you. You were able to run away. Homeless and living on the street, you grew up in a life of crime, depending on nobody but yourself. Make sense? No? Good! Let's start now.

BUTCHER

To him, you were like a fly that won't leave him alone.

How he knew you was through Mallory, she thought you were okay and fit for the job since you hated Vought just as much.

Obviously he didn't like you once you were introduced to him and the two (M.M and Frenchie)

"No way am I lettin' a supe join us"

":("

Though after what happened to Mallory's grandchildren, the gang pretty much dispersed but wherever Butcher went, you followed. Since he was the only person you trusted... and also enjoy annoying the shit out of.

He'd head inside a club, relieved he hadn't seen you for the past few days so he decided to grab a drink by the bar to unwind.

"Whiskey" He said with his eyes looking around, paranoia shown on his face.

Once his drink was served, he would look back to find your eyes smiling at him, you were wearing a bartender disguise over your red suit.

"Did you miss me?"

"Oh christ..."

When you heard word that he was gathering back the team, you had to be there. What kind of friend would you be if you didn't?

Undoubtedly he had to admit, there were times where he was grateful to have you on the team but there were also other times he regretted it.

For example, that time when you guys needed to sneak into a lab to get something and the goal was to stay quiet but even that simple rule was hard for you to follow.

"Room's up ahead. (Y/N) I need you to—"

"Heads up!" You said as you threw a bomb at the metal door.

The explosion causing the alarm to turn on and it had the whole lab now on high alert. You shrug innocently when Butcher glared at you like he wanted to tear you apart.

Also, you enjoy constantly pissing him off. You can't die so you don't really care if he'll kill you for it.

"Maybe, if you didn' press the fuckin' button, we wouldn't have to come bac' to save yer ass from the guards"

"OOH GOD SAVE THE QUEEEN!! Please, cry me a fucking river. I got us the target didn't I?"

"He's dead"

"Well you weren't being specific when you said to capture him"

But it's fine, all his frustration will be solved once he uses you as bait. He knows you can't die but hey, it makes him feel slightly better watching you get shot at.

Despite your ups and downs, he appreciates you. When the team would turn against him on his insane journey for revenge, he always found you the only one still standing by his side. You're loyal and he likes that.

Compatibility? 75%

HUGHIE

You treat him like a child.

No seriously you baby talk him sometimes and it annoys him

"Awwwww is little hughie angry?"

"Stop..."

"Does baby want his milky?"

Since he's pretty much the only person who isn't that exposed to crime as the others, he's terrified 100% everytime when he's paired up to do any dirty work with you.

"Now listen buddy, you better start talking or I'm gonna shoot" You said, gun raised at the man who seemed to be begging you to spare his life in a language you didn't speak.

"I don't think he speaks English"

"Ah shit... ENGLISH!! SPEAK!! ABCDEFG??!"

"How is shouting in English gonna make him understand?"

"Eh, you're right"

BANG

"WHY'D YOU SHOOT HIM??!"

"Well did you expect me to pull out Duolingo and start taking classes?!"

You had to admit, it was a pain in the ass each time he starts giving you the cold shoulder whenever he gets mad at you for doing something terrible. It was like his way of guilt tripping you so you always try to apologise in your own ways.

"Hey..." You said, handing him ice cream.

"...I uh... I don’t like Strawberry ice cream... I thought I told you that"

"God you're so ungrateful!!"

Since he was such a scaredy cat, you try to tone down your craziness a bit. For the sake of him not going into cardiac arrest.

"(Y/N) STOP!! She has nothing to do with this!! She was tricked" Hughie grabbed you by the arm to pull your gun away from the innocent woman.

You turn your head to look at him, then at the woman, then at him again, then the woman, then him again.

"Ugh finnnne... you're boring..."

However, he does appreciate you trying to be a better person. Even you had to admit, after you met him and became friends. You noticed yourself being less brutal than you used to be. The thought keeps you awake at night and it scares the shit out of you.

But oh well, how could you ever say no to those scared little puppy eyes?

Compatibility? 55%

FRENCHIE

He's like your hype man which is concerning.

Not because you're not afraid to get the job done but also because you always have his back.

"Well... I need some gunpowder but I've run out of them" Frenchie said, telling Butcher that the plan was most likely not gonna happen.

"Hold on" You said with the typical comical ☝🏻 gesture before heading into a different room. Everyone exchanging confused glances at what you could possibly be doing.

After a few minutes you'd return with a bag of gunpowder while struggling to zip up your pants with the other hand.

"Don't tell me how I got it. It almost tore me apart" You said, rubbing your ass.

On stressful nights, you guys would enjoy smoking weed together by the sofa and share stories of your traumatic childhood. It's how you guys bond and it's oddly wholesome.

Also when he needs a shoulder to cry on, you were always there for him. You two shared a type of relationship that even Romeo and Juliet couldn't compete with. To be fair they're dead so they actually can't fight.

"Hey reader!! If you're gonna keep reading then you might as well give the post a like or a repost. C'mon, pleassssseeee pleasepleaseplease"

"Ma cerise, who are you talking to?"

Although he doesn't mind your behaviour sometimes but he won't tolerate it if you ever cross the line on something. He's like the owner who sprays water at his pet cat when they don't listen.

"What are you mad at me for?!?!"

"You damn near tried to get us killed!!"

"Hey! You're the one who said it would be a suicide mission so I made sure it was a suicide mission!!"

"WHAT?"

There's no way he can deny how curious he is about where you get your guns and things. He once went in your room to find boxes of dynamite and a RPG just placed against the wall like furniture.

Like do you have a supplier or are you your own supplier?

Compatibility? 99.9%

M.M

Everybody deserves second chances.

He always tells him that to calm himself down everytime you managed to fuck up a thoroughly planned mission.

"What did I say about pressing buttons (Y/N)?"

"Honestly I stopped paying attention after you said 'Listen here'."

M.M has to be the only person you fear to the fact you try very hard to avoid him, this is because his long ass lectures are such a pain to deal with.

"How many times do I have to remind you? You can't just go around doing shit like that. You gotta consider the amount of danger you'll put everyone in..."

"(Blah blah blah... he's still going... uggggh... make it stop...!)"

Unable to handle the lecture any longer, you ended up shooting yourself in the head.

"(Y/N)!" His tone more disappointed than concern since this wasn't the first time you did this to escape his talks.

You know that russian dollhouse he tries to build in season 2? Well you'd constantly be found standing or sitting near him when he's trying to finish the set.

Since you're aware of his OCD, you like to edge him on by sometimes rearranging the parts or stealing some of it so he ends up searching high and low for the missing parts.

You had to admit it was entertaining to watch him accuse other people for touching his stuff when it was you behind all the schemes.

I'd like to think that after every mission when you happen to die, he'd be the one in charge of collecting your remains so you'd grow back.

That's why it comes naturally that his job is to make sure you don't do anything extreme.

"Where are my bombs??!?!" You'd shout, storming around the place looking for them.

"I sold them. Thought it'd do us more good knowing you won’t accidentally blow us up"

"WHAT?! GOD! It's like the writers of the show couldn't afford another explosion for this season so they had to use this DUMB of an excuse!!"

Though he does see some good in you through the messed up parts, he once saw you give his daughter a cute teddy bear when they've been burned by Vought.

She still has the bear and M.M likes to think that maybe you have a soft spot for kids since you never had a proper childhood. That's why he chooses to understand you rather than just being ignorant about your behaviour.

Compatibility? 80%

KIMIKO

She finds you a little odd but she doesn't mind once she realises how everyone is used to you being like that.

Whenever you're bored, you'd come to see what she was up to. Just imagine you sitting on the sofa like a curious kid as you watch her write alphabets on the book.

She also tries to communicate with you since she thought maybe your fucked up mind would understand her better in a way. Like how in season 2 she was repeatedly writing 'boy' to Frenchie but he didn't understand, so she came to you.

"Woow... watching you try to talk to me is like watching a baby take it's first breath..."

"😐"

"It's beautiful..."

Turns out her theory was wrong, you had a harder time understanding her compared to the rest.

Since you're the only two people in the group with powers, most of the time you two are sent on dangerous missions together. It's a nightmare for her because everybody knows communication is key but one is mute and the other doesn't listen.

"(Be quiet! There's people in the other room!)" She'd sign to you but you were busy humming a song while throwing around the enemies equipment.

"Oooh, what's this?" You held up a Homelander figurine which made you laugh as you show it to her.

"Hey look! 'I'm Homelander, I'm God's favourite. I play golf with Jesus every Sunday."

"(Can you please take this seriously?)"

"You're right, you gotta stop messing around Kimiko! We have a target to kill here" You said and you threw the figurine away which apparently clashes into a stack of boxes that came crashing down. The sound making everyone inside the building grab their weapons and began cornering you two in the room.

"😡"

"Okay that wasn't me that was gravity"

For the boys, you were plan A and she was plan B. That's because you always end up rushing into a fight first which most of the time resulted in you getting dismembered, which she later comes in to save you.

For example when Stormfront had stopped you guys, your bright ass thought it was a good idea to charge at her even though everyone was signalling you to stop. Next thing you know you were just a head being carried by M.M, you ended up watching as Kimiko fought Stormfront with the help of Starlight and Queen Maeve.

"That's my girl!! Now can anyone lend me a hand? I think I lost mine"

Compatibility? 97%

Bonus +

SOLDIER BOY

You know the scene where he walks out of his containment with the gas surrounding him? You swore when you watched him step out butt naked, you could hear angels singing and trumpets playing inside your head.

Shockingly enough, he was the only person who appreciated your humour. Could be a generation thing. He's just relieved not everyone has gone soft over the years.

In a way, you feel like you've become his babysitter. Everytime Butcher and Hughie left to do some business, you were in charge of making sure he doesn't blow up anyone. You kept him entertained so he didn't mind. That's why on the hunt for his former team members, he immediately chose you to be by his side.

"I'll take red with me"

"Red as in the american flag or the russians?" You asked which had him do the typical boomer laugh.

"I like you, you're funny" He said with a strong pat on your shoulder.

Butcher doesn't mind you with him cause he trusts that you can keep him under control. Hughie on the other hand isn't sure if you can even keep yourself under control.

"Shhh... wait... do you hear that?"

"Ah shit, did I accidentally said my dirty thoughts out loud? It's just you look breedable in that suit"

Another thing he likes about you is that you're okay with killing pretty much anyone, just try not to overstep cause that could potentially piss him off.

"I told you he's mine" He said as he had you pinned against one of the trees, apparently you had shot Mindstorm in the head when he literally made it clear to you minutes ago that was his kill.

"Quite possessive aren't you? I can recommended a therapist I know. Her names Martha—"

"You shut your mouth before I shove my shield up your ass"

"Gasp don't you DARE threaten me with a good time!!"

At the end of Season 3, you would obviously side with Butcher when everyone started to turn against Soldier Boy. He had to admit he was kinda hurt though, he expected you to be on his side.

"So what? You're crawling back to him now? After what we've been through?"

"Sorry big daddy, but Butcher has been my day one and I also happen to love him veryvery much"

Cue Butcher rolling his eyes out of disgust.

Compatibility? 100% but after the betrayal? 0% 😔

#MOM CUT THE WIFI #THIS TOOK TOO LONG TO FINISH #x reader #the boys #the boys x you #the boys x reader #the boys x y/n #the boys billy butcher #the boys butcher #the boys hughie #the boys mothers milk #the boys mm #the boys frenchie #the boys kimiko #the boys soldier boy #butcher x reader #hughie x reader #frenchie x reader #mm x reader #mothers milk x reader #kimiko x reader #soldier boy x reader #billy butcher #hughie campbell #frenchie #mothers milk #kimiko the boys #kimiko #soldier boy #the boys amazon

[davilasinfiltro]

Badboyhalo gets advice from Reddit

Bad panics after Skeppy releases Best Friend and decides to ask for relationship advice on Reddit because he doesn’t know who else to turn to

979 words

r/relationship_advice u/throwaway132166922

My (M29) best friend (M23) made a song about me and I don’t know how to feel about it.

I don’t even know why I’m doing this. I’m so paranoid about anyone finding out who I am but I frequent this subreddit a lot and can't find anyone who is in the same situation as me. I also don’t know who I can even talk to about this since we have a lot of mutual friends. If this gets too much traction I’m deleting it quickly, here goes nothing >_<

Here’s the context, me and my friend have known each other online for a while and have been friends for around 4 years (my friends poke fun that we have our ‘anniversary’ memorized but I digress.) We’ve half heartedly been making plans to meetup for the past few years. What can I say? I don’t like leaving the house and never really had the urge to meet any of my online friends. I’d argue that you could have a meaningful relationship with someone and never meet them irl. Anyways, I never took these conversations too seriously. I would always say I’m not ready yet, it’s too close to the holidays, who’s going to take care of my dog? The one time we did have concrete plans I was sick with covid and I had a long recovery. And we just never followed up with a reschedule.

I never knew how much this affected my friend until he wrote this sort of… rap and produced it with one of our mutual friends. He insults me, saying I have a massive ego, I’m a psycho, it’s my fault I made him ‘feel blue,’ and immediately backtracks and compliments me. There’s another lyric that says I’m pushing him away and if I’m hiding something? This part I have to quote verbatim because it’s the part I understand the least,

“I can’t really say my true intentions

It’s all just miscommunication

Please don’t take it the wrong way

I love you dude and I hope we’re okay”

And that’s how it ends. Meanwhile, I had no clue my friend was having this type of conflicting feelings about me. Or how much us meeting up meant to him. Yeah maybe we’d go from talking every day to messaging each other only semi frequently but that’s just the evolution of a friendship right? We were both getting busier as our respective careers became more time-consuming but that’s nobody’s fault, is it? I know I should apologize to him for never taking his requests for us to meetup too seriously but I think there’s something else under the surface.

Does he want to confess to me? I keep going back to that lyric, “I can’t really say my true intentions.” He’s pretty much ripped his heart out on this song but there’s /one/ thing he can’t say to me? Does it have to do with him wanting to preserve our friendship, that it’ll be strained in some way if he confesses? I don’t know what gives him that impression, a lot of our friends are lgbt+. Heck, a lot of them make jokes that we like each other already. Anyways, there shouldn’t be anything deterring him from confessing if that’s what he is trying to do. Or not trying to do.

Any advice is appreciated. I still haven’t said anything to him directly since he made that song.

u/amycat1203

Whatever you two have going on is gayer than any gay person I know irl

-> Reply u/throwaway132166922

If I had a nickel for every time I heard that -_-

u/justadudelmao

This is too outrageous to be fake, so I’m trying to take this seriously. It sounds like y’all have some shit to talk out in person. If the next message you send him isn’t a confirmation for a plane ticket you’re the problem

-> Reply u/throwaway132166922

If I travel to him it won’t be by plane, I have a phobia. But you’re right :/ I need to make it up to him soon if this is how he feels about us not meeting up

u/matchmakingismypassion

Maybe he has reason to believe you wouldn’t want him to confess to you. How do you react to the jokes your friends make about you together? Do you even reciprocate any possible romantic feelings to him?

->Reply u/throwaway132166922

It’s complicated, early on in our friendship he’d flirt with me as a troll and I’d always politely turn him down. I’ve known about him for so long, even before he was 18. I wasn’t comfortable indulging in this kind of joke. So even if he was 19 when he made these comments, he felt too young for me. He grew out of it and eventually we were inseparable as best friends, to the point that our mutual friends would tease us. Both of us would casually deny anything to our friends but honestly, I wouldn’t mind dating him if he made the first move. But you understand why I can’t make the first move, right?

->Reply u/matchmakingismypassion

To me it sounds like he shouldn’t make the first move either if all he’s ever heard from you is rejection. Especially if you can’t even make the effort to meetup, something he obviously wants from you. He made the song as a plea to start an open dialogue, and that starts with you bud.

u/skephalofan141414

EVERYONE. THIS STORY IS FAKE. This is some guy pretending to be Badboyhalo about the song Skeppy made called “Best Friend” on youtube. You’re a weirdo trying to karma farm off of a story that isn’t yours to tell

->Reply u/thisteaishotaf

Who??? Link please???

->Reply u/skephalofan141414

https://youtu.be/skDch34PtEM?si=Usxbm6LXisq9xWCD

->Reply u/thisteaishotaf

Why the fuck would his friend post this on a minecraft channel LMAO

#skephalo #skephalo fic #I wrote this a while ago I’m surprised it took me this long to post lol #badboyhalo #skeppy

[gh0vtzb1og]

Cowpoke pt 1. COWBOY AU / SIMON RILEY X FEM READER

‘Cause I drift with the wind, no one cares where I go.’

‘Ridin the Broncs in the big rodeo’

Notes; teasing, degradation, misogyny

(Cowpoke by colter wall goes well with this series, I suggest listening to them:)

(If you cannot tell I am a country boy/girl, I do barrel racing and farm work. I dress completely country)

You hopped out of the pitch black Chevy that had driven you out to this little ranch out in Montana. The sky above you littered with kisses of white fluffy clouds, the sun smiling down upon you as you looked around the ranch. The Silverado had driven off after you grabbed your stuff from it, a duffel bag of clothes, your straw cowboy hat, and that was about it. You didn’t need much.

The gravel underneath your boots crunched as you walked down the driveway and into the ranch, it was a massive plot of land, the owner said he’d pay you to work on it, his name was Simon Riley if you remembered correctly. Big livestock producer, they raised beef cows. Their herds were massive but maintained, having hundreds of acres to roam.

You continued down the road, seeing the neatly kept scenery that covered the main path, you didn’t know what you were in for. A whinny of a horse from behind you broke the silence of you crunching the gravel, you spun around. Your face meeting a bay mare. She snorted in your face, one of the ranch hands stared down at you from their mounted place on the steed.

“Ya lost lil lady? Dont think you were invited out here were ya missy?” He questioned, circling you on his horse. He was a dark skinned male, hair well kept and short. A brown hat laid neatly on his head as he held onto his reins, his mare chewing on her bit. She looked strong, and mean.

“Here for a job, did Mr Riley not expect me to be coming?” You question, his face immediately filled with confusion, like he had never heard that you were coming. The ranch hand grabbed onto his horses reins, starting to walk away.

“Main house is down the path. He’ll meet you there.” And with that the cowboy rode off, never telling you his name, nobody seemed to be friendly here. The deer, the elk, the bears, the wolves, the bison. Nothing here seemed like it wanted an outsider. Sure you weren’t from the city, you were from a small town. But seeing this ranch? It was 10x the size of your home town.

You moved further into the property, once you got near the main house you saw a man with a Mohawk, his eyes landing on you as him and the masked man beside him paused. Staring at you with curiosity, the man with the Mohawk whispering to the masked man, both looking at you.

You step up onto the porch, both men towering over you.

“Is Mr Riley here, I was supposed to discuss with him about me working here, he said to come, so I did.” You spoke clearly, the masked man stepped forward, taking off his hat from his head and reaching out to shake your hand.

“I’m him. It’s nice to meet you (we will decide on a name, leave ideas in comments), I’m sure you will be a great help on this ranch. After you get settled in, in the bunk house, you’ll go to the stable and pick out a horse, course you gotta earn it first. I’m sure you will though.” He spoke as you both shook hands, his hand was much massive than yours. The man with the Mohawk watched you both.

“This man right here is John. He’ll take you down to the stable to get settled in.” Simon nodded to the ranch hand who left the porch. The rancher nodded to you, signaling to follow the Scot.

John stood about 6’1. He was walking at a quick pace, more so curious on how the boys would react to you. Once you both stopped at the bunk house he stepped in first, the building was a cabin like house, once you stepped in you were greeted with a small kitchen, 12 beds, or 6 bunks in all. All the men inside the bunk house stopped to just stare at you. (Soap)

One with a beard. Short hair, he was about 6’3. He cocked an eyebrow at the sight of you, this would be interesting. (Price)

Another man had black hair, he stopped mid conversation to look at you with another bunk mate. His voice was full of a Spanish accent, he was Mexican from what you could tell. Standin at about 6’2 (Alejandro)

The brown skinned male stood by the other guys, he was 6’0ft. A smile on his face which quickly faded at the sight of you, he didn’t seem too pleased. (Gaz)

And then there was an American, he had blonde hair and blue eyes, a scar on his left cheek from a cut wound it looked like. 6’2. (Graves)

And a few other randoms scattered here and there.

“You here to wash dishes? It would give us more time to work on the ranch, you know, the man’s work.” One of them called out, all of them followed with a laugh at the snarky remark. You looked around for free bunks, quickly snagging one and starting to unpack, you made sure to not let your hat touch your bed. Even if it was just a myth, better to be safe than sorry.

The Scot Called out, “(___), this is Kyle, john but he prefers price, Philip or graves, Alejandro, and a few others. Hopefully you’ll settle in just fine, we like our pillows fluffed before we come back in for the night though.” He teased degradingly, gaz graves and Alejandro laughing along with the joke. Like hyenas.

You grabbed your hat, putting it on your head and quickly leaving the bunk house, listening as the men laughed at their awful jokes. You made your way up to the main house, Simon was sitting on the porch.

“You get along good?” He questioned, raising an eyebrow at the way your face looked, disappointed and frustrated. “Hm, I see. Why don’t we go get you a horse, something to your liking.” He stood up, Simon stood at a staggering 6’5 he put his hand on your lower back, noticing the way you jolted away from his hand.

He took notice of that, you seemed skittish when touched. Simon led you down to the stable, “most of these horses are broke, but I’ll tell you what, you stay on it while it’s bucking. I’ll give it to you, free of any charge. But you gotta stay on for 8 seconds.”

-

#call of duty #call of duty smut #call of duty x reader #cod mw2 #cod x reader #ghost cod #simon ghost riley #simon riley x reader #simon riley x you #smut #gh0vtzb1ogz #simon ghost x reader #ghost headcanons #ghost x reader #ghost #simon riley headcanons #smut writing #smut blog #writers on tumblr #writing #call of duty headcanons #call of duty modern warfare

[placeinthisworld]

just curious what you mean about your idol becoming what she used to sing about? what do you think has changed? no hate just genuinely curious

i feel like over the years her music has become more jaded, less personable more targeted. she used to sing about her experiences and feelings more generally and therefore held more interest bc of the relatability aspect of her songs. like for all the ogs which i may still listen to she had so much intent in the songwriting. like, as a teenager i never went through a breakup (still haven’t?) so i could never relate to her breakup songs in a traditional way- but the way she would write about her feelings would still feel relatable to me enough to help me through different situations.

i feel like now she writes to complete and album. she knows she can bullshit something quick is she’s motivated enough. it feels like midnights was a first draft- like it was never edited and perfected it was just written, recorded and produced. done.

i also feel like her fanbase has a lot to do with it. i think when folklore was released, she had disappeared from the spotlight long enough for the general public to forget why they were so against her to begin with. i think taylor made her dating life a main highlight in her career (whether that was on purpose is another debate), so when she got with joe and went private for a bit the general public weren’t being plastered w ts/ bf gossip and sightings to annoy them and remind them of her “serial dater” reputation. and when folklore came out it was purely about the album and not the relationship that influenced the album bc it was “fictional,” and people needed something fun to transfix on when the world was unpredictable and scary bc of covid- which is why everyone and their mom became a swiftie overnight. nobody speculated about what song was about who (i mean swifties did ofc but it wasn’t a world wide thing- it was just rocking out to august). the internet definitely shifted during this time and it feels like everyone became chronically online.

long story short: i feel like taylor is using her songwriter and platform as a weapon. she knows her fans are weirdly cult like and notoriously known for being bullies on the internet, and that they’ll buy and believe anything she says. i think everyone will be expecting a folklore- likeness to ttpd but i think it’ll be a cheap way of blowing over her relationship with joe and changing the narrative for rep tv. overall it just feels like all of her songwriter is so personal to her life and her relationships it’s not relatable anymore, her words don’t have the impact they once did. everything feels tailored to her life specifically and it’s more of a show for swifties to make pick up easter eggs for clout on the internet. like she knows what she’s doing with ttpd, we all know.

it’s evident in the way she markets herself, it’s evident in the lack of marketing of her albums. she knows her fans will promote it for her. no lead single, no real description of the album or anything. hundreds of dollars of encouraged preorders for something you don’t even know if you’ll like until you buy it. fucked with umg to try to return it if you don’t. fomo if you missed out on an “exclusive” or “limited” item.

also just the whole miss americana thing she’s ignoring. we all heard her. she said she wanted to be on the right side of history. yet here she is politically silent as always- besides that one time in 2020 when she coincidentally had something to release….

(also unrelated….but like the taylor overexposure is real. i love that she’s interested in doing different things but i wish she would prioritize quality over quantity. it feels like she’s rushing through everything to get to the next one. i just wish she would care more about her art than breaking records and being #1/ talked about constantly. it just feels very….narcissistic? like girlie you’re a billionaire and youre still in your early thirties what are you trying to do??? be the first person to sing on the moon like??? when is it Enough for her?)

#answered #anonymous #anon #like ‘i’ll never change but i’ll never stay the same either’ bullshit just bullshit #you changed as soon as you realized how to have your cake and eat it too girlie

[thewritersofdeceased]

“You deserve to feel safe. And happy.”

MISS MEDDA + NEWSIES || COMFORT ||

"Medda?!" A voice called out aloud, a figure passed out in this voice's arms. A boy with blonde hair was being carried by one with red. Well, ginger red, specifically. The blonde in his arms was a boy by the name of Antonio, or Racer to the others Newsies. The one carrying him and Miss Medda were the only ones to know his true name. Antonio had a couple cuts and bad bruises, shiners, as he'd call them. "We had a run in! Might need some bandages!" Thankfully, all the shows for the night were complete, so nobody would overhear them.

Medda Larkin, the woman who the boy was calling, poked her head out from where she'd been cleaning, her eyes widening upon noticing the boy being carried. "What happened!? Who did you have a run in with!? Was it them Delancy's!?" She'd ask quickly, dropping whatever had been in her hands and going over to take the practically passed out boy from the redheads arms. "They wouldn't stop, Miss Medda! I's tellin' you, true! They's don't like us for no reason! We ain' do nothin to 'em but sell our papes and get 'em sold! Then they's decide to always mess with us!"

The boy explained as Medda took Racer into her arms, her eyes filled with worry. "Did the hurt the other boys? Where are they?! Albert, please, I need answers!" Of course Medda would be worrying. These boys were her kids. Going to place Racer down somewhere comfortable, in her dressing room with a rather comfortable couch. Albert merely followed as he tried to explain. "Jack took it at the sign of the bulls. That's what the Dalancy's are makin' up.. He'll be here soon enough, I know it." Albert explained quickly before hearing the sound of the backdoors open, then slam shut right after.

"Speak of the devil." Albert spoke before turning to Medda and looking back to the slamming doors echoing. "Do you want me to-?" He went to speak, but Medda only waved him off with her hand. It took a couple seconds for the famous Jack Kelly to appear in her line sight, being followed by two others. "Miss Medda! Did- did you see-!?" Jack was out of breath, that could be seen just by how his chest rose and fell rather quickly.

Medda, having placed Race down, went to where Jack was, her arms already held out as Jack had quickly ran into her arms, tightly hugging her. "They almost got Cruchtie, Medda.." Jack whispered in Medda's arms, his body trembling as the woman held him close.

"Shh.. Shhh... you're okay.. it's okay.. Davey, is Crutchie on his way?" Medda asked, looking to David, who nodded his head. "Most of the boys are, yes Miss." David would reply, letting out a sigh after as the doors behind him opened and closed again. "Speaking of them.. I'll take care of the other boys, okay, Miss? Take care of Jack and Race." Davey explained softly as he began to walk away. Medda nodded her head, having gone off to tend for her boys.

___________________

As the boys got taken care of, Medda's mind had slowly began to overfill with much more worry. The stress, the way she had to keep the theater running, everything of the sort. But that wasn't the worse of these all. As the boys were out on the stage, messing about and sitting together, Medda sat in her dressing room, hands in her hair as she tried to keep her breathing at ease.

These boys deserved to be safe and happy. Of course they did. She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes, before feeling them begin to slide down her face. The stress bubble at finally popped, resulting in these tears to fall. All the stress was finally being let out. Her eyes were shut, her face hidden in her arms before the sound of footsteps had snapped her head up.

No, no, no. Do not come in, please, please, please-

Her eyes were shut tightly as the voice of one of the boys rang through the air, just outside of the door. "Medda? Can I come in? It's Jack." Oh, Medda could never deny Jack. She wiped her eyes with a makeup wipe just in front of her, trying to push away the flushed red color that had been on her cheeks due to the tears. "Come on in, Jack." Jack, after a couple of seconds, pushed open the door that had separated him from his mother figure.

Medda remained quiet before hearing the soft click of the door closing behind Jack. Though the boy didn't move forward before he had noticed the red on her cheeks. "Medda? Were you.. crying?" He'd ask, his eyes widening slightly and frowning right after. It took a few seconds for Medda to truly answer before she attempted to cover her shaky tone. "No, dear. Why would I be crying?" She'd ask the brunette, her voice shaking as she spoke. Jack could feel his heart shatter in his chest.

"Your face is flushed red. And you're voice." Jack would explain, taking cautious steps towards his mother figure and standing beside her. "What's got ya' feelin' like cryin'? Did we boys do somethin' to upset ya?" He'd then ask, resulting in Medda shaking her head almost automatically. "No, no, no. Not at all. It's just-" She had to take a breath in, standing to her feet.

Walking over to one of her drawers, she would kneel down to take out a paper. The Newspaper Katherine had published about the strike. The photo on it covered all the boys. She held a small frown on her face, taking in a shaky breath before beginning to explain her reasoning.

"You boys, all of you boys, deserve peace. Deserve to feel happy... Deserve to feel safe. And happy. I am only one woman, it's difficult for me to make sure you all are happy, mainly with the Delancy brothers and even Pulitzer. I practically adopted all of you boys into my arms. I just wish you could all be happy."

Medda began to explain, taking a shaky breath in. What she hadn't known was the other boys remaining outside the room, just silently listening in. Race had been leaning against Albert, his ankle a bit busted up, David was quiet, and Crutchie remained where he was, leaning slightly on the wall with his crutch.

Jack could feel his heart shatter in his chest as he gently took Medda's hand and pulled her into a hug. "Medda, youse' don't realize how much we appreciate you, do ya?" He'd ask,looking to Medda, who continued to hold a frown on her face. Medda avoided eye contact before hearing yet another one of the boys voice.

"Youse' is the reason majority of us boys stay alive." Race commented, having now entered the room fully with the help of Albert. Between the two, the blonde continued to talk. "Youse' let us use the theater for the rally. Youse' helped us when we were all bloodied and bruised from the Delancy's."

The ginger he was leaning against only smiled at this, nodded in return. "Racer's right. Youse' treat us like your kids, Medda. Even if we's ain't biological. Is that the right word, Davey?" He'd ask the brunette by the door, earning a nod of approval.

Davey kept quiet however, his arms crossed over his chest. He didn't know Medda as well as the others, so he stuck to remaining quiet. Though Crutchie spoke with a smile on his face. A smile that spreads like butter, as he'd say. "Youse' the best we could eva' have! All of us boys appreciate it." He'd explain happily, making his way over to Medda, who was now quiet as she looked between all of the boys.

"And I wouldn't trade it for the world. You boys are my children. It's my job to make sure you're all safe and sound."

#newsies #Medda larkin #albert dasilva #racetrack higgins #writing #ralbert #newsies writing #newsies 1992 #newsies 2017

[side-b-bumblebi]

Men who view women as their intellectual equals 😍

#pro tip for the boys: a lot of girls will respond a lot better to a stimulating conversation than to a guy trying to show off #ignore the movies they're lying to you when they tell you you need to be a show off #and if a girl wants that it's maybe not the best sign y'know? #but most girls just want to be treated like we're capable intelligent humans #that's all!! the movies and shit make it way more complicated than it has to be #and yes some girls do make things awkward and complicate everything #but maybe you wanna be careful about that because those girls generally have a lot to unpack #being friends with those girls is fine!! just make sure you have strong boundaries in place #and make sure she's doing some work on herself before considering a romantic relationship #but anyway i've had a lot of men in my life that i feel like wanted to be so much smarter than me #and not to be rude but they weren't?? i was just as smart and sometimes smarter #i didn't care that they were confident in their intelligence but i felt like i needed to dumb myself down #and it. freaking. sucked. i have no idea how i did it for so long #and i would even make jokes about like the guys i dated being smarter than me and nobody ever said anything?? #and again these guys weren't smarter than me. that's not an insult to them just acknowledging i'm smarter than i was gave myself credit for #i'm outgrowing the notion that i have to dumb myself down for men and it's so freeing #and you know what really helps me actually? being in college #and especially being in college with so many intelligent men who know they're smart #these guys KNOW they're smart. and not in an arrogant way in a secure and confident way #them knowing they're smart makes them the OPPOSITE of arrogant actually #it's weird but i stand by my observation and it makes sense when you think about it #if you're secure in yourself and your intelligence you don't need to proce yourself by making other people look dumb #these guys are secure in their self-image and masculinity. they don't need women to be dumb and weak to feel strong and intelligent. #and it's so freaking endearing. i love that for these guys so much. #i am just so thankful for people in my life who are taking me seriously and who are helping me to understand i'm worth taking seriously. #wow these tags are long but anyway #guys you don't have to prove anything girls you should never have to dumb yourselves down live long and prosper

[13eyond13]

.

#as somebody who is unfortunately probably older than a lot of other people here by now #lemme just do my thing and dispense wisdom nobody asked for once more #guess what adults also still crave that parenting they never got when they were younger too #or perhaps that overindulgent parenting that they got spoiled by and addicted to #emotionally my 88 year old grandma is still a child on the inside looking for her dad to tell her she did a good job #and if you don't take steps to be aware of it #and to cultivate self-worth and solace in something other than receiving that one specific thing #and learn to be present with the people around you and how to focus on what you can give to others as much as what you can receive #that craving never really goes away #you can spend your entire life with tunnel vision chasing it #the older people in your life probably still feel that craving just as strongly as you do #they just had to eventually come to terms with it somehow carry on and start trying to take care of the younger people as best they can #definitely hilarious when you realize you're like the parent figure to people when you're like omg no i still didn't get to be the baby yet #and often times you also will become the parent figure to people much older than yourself as well #including (perhaps) eventually your own parents #anyways i would say that explains a lot about the dumbness of adults of all ages #it definitely sucks but #i think the nice thing to do is to try to give the younger people more of the understanding and support that will hopefully help them #be well-adjusted and prepare #for their own fun times in their 20s and beyond #if you can #seeing it more as building community rather than engaging in competition is the goal for me these days #p

[britneyshakespeare]

i was hanging out today w a friend i hadn't seen in awhile and kaily and i were catching up on all the drama involving him (my controlling manipulative and abusive ex-friend) and how he keeps going out of his way to ask ppl about where we are and find us and how the only reason i think i get out of it is bc i don't go to the same college as him anymore, i hardly ever leave the house socially and the few ppl i do see all have no connection w him anymore, and i don't work at some place where he can just show up. i work in pre-k-to-12 public schools. my schedule in terms of days/location is irregular anyway, but if some strange adult man shows up for no particular reason and seeks out a female employee, you do not just get let in. that is how you have the cops called on you. but he does know where i live and i have been paranoid about him finding some excuse to show up at my house. i've had legitimate nightmares about that. i never stopped having nightmares about him i'd say at least once every other week and i haven't talked to him in almost six months.

i don't like at all how i don't feel safe in a way that means i have faith that the issue is over; the person is out of my life; our communication will not be renewed against my will once again. bc all of those things have been attempted. i feel safe in a way that means he happens, by circumstance, not to be able to access me in any convenient way to him. any way he could find me (the only way to feasibly do that would be work/home) would be a justification for calling the police. but i don't have any faith that he wouldn't try, because he has shown himself as being capable of being that low. and if i switch jobs or transfer schools finally and he finds out about it, he can just make it an issue there if he so feels like it, and i'm sure he will. he's a monster. he gets some sort of thrill out of making other ppl feel unsafe and having all the control in the situation

#tales from diana #it was very validating to talk to her bc she never really liked him #in fact i used to be so humiliated when i'd bring him to hang out w my older friends #bc he'd go oooon and on and on about how nobody listens to him nobody understands him nobody cares about or appreciates him #and then i'd be like 'oh my friends are good ppl! ill introduce u' and i did. i made the effort to bring him to them a LOT #(and he would make me feel like he envied me for my oh-so-superior life which i most definitely do not have) #but then he would not listen to her not understand her not care about her and not appreciate her #nor any of my friends for that matter. but he was SO disinterested in her in particular in a way that was just sooo disrespectful #he wouldnt let me hold a conversation w her. or let me bring her into a conversation w him. he'd DOMINATE #in general he didn't like me talking to anybody else or anyone talking to anyone else or anyone else talking #ive never seen a man who cared so little about somebody else getting to finish a sentence. #and like there's a lot of adhd in our friend group. we all (myself especially) have our spirited interjections #and occasionally interrupt but we realize when we're doing it and then pull back & let the other person finish #we try to keep other ppl on track w what they were saying when they go on a tangent #you know. we try and communicate effectively #even tho we r not naturally perfect at it lol. #we're adults who respect each other it's almost like! #but yeah. he was only interested in impressing the couple of men in my friend group essentially #he'd talk abt how my two guy friends r cool & how he wants to be closer to them #and i'd stick up for this woman i hung out w today & he had just absolutely no interest in her #she never liked him anyway which was so baller of her. good on her. she detected his rudeness #and that rudeness used to vex me so much. i suppose bc i couldnt bear to see him treat other ppl how he treated me #altho to a much lesser extent w the overt lovebombing he did to me and the traumadumping and intense reliance upon me #he seriously needed my attention 24/7 it didn't matter if i was studying or working or in bed sick for two weeks #literally he and his vapid fucking needs came before everything in my life according to him. always. crazy #the entitlement of that man is ridiculous. so of course he thinks there's nothing wrong w seeking me out #of course. #i wouldnt care if he died

[birdmenmanga]

when he said "is there still anyone left in the world who you'll allow yourself to be spoiled by" that was insane

#just thinking thoughts... #this is about karasuma and tatsume squabbling over who's going to pay the bill when they go out to eat btw. #if you even care. #obviously karasuma thinks good heavens I'm an employed man making 6 figures I canNOT make this retired college professor PAY the BILL #but keep in mind they just had a HUGE conversation about. you know. #possible consequences of prioritizing others over yourself etc. #giving and giving and giving and feeling empty inside because you won't let yourself be loved despite everything you've given #hey you know one of the first serious conversations I had with the vegetarian guy was about whether people deserved to be loved #and obviously I said that everyone deserves to be loved #but with a super serious and straight face he said that nobody deserves to be loved #and what he meant was that there is a misery that comes with not being loved when you feel ENTITLED to it #and yeah I agree nobody is ENTITLED to love #I couldn't quite articulate that on that day #but if you have given away kindness to others— if you have loved others— then you do deserve a little something for what you've done #like for example he's vegetarian so he goes with people to eat dinner and stuff a lot but he sits there without eating anything #and it's like. how can you believe nobody is willing to go to a vegetarian restaurant with you after you did that for a whole semester. #how can you believe that people will be so unforgiving when you've been so nice to them!!! #how can you think after half a year of keeping these people company that they wouldn't do the same for you #not even every time. just every once in a while. #god. i don't know how to explain it. this guy's affection deficit is insaneeeee #ok mutuals be honest. the vegetarian guy checks my just thinking thoughts tag for fun sometimes but he's not very interested in bm #you think he's gonna open the tags and see this? vote now on your phones #sorry. chorus is going to be SO good. I'm telling you. it's going to be so good. #LIKE SORRY. IS THERE STILL ANYONE LEFT IN THE WORLD YOU'LL LET YOURSELF BE SPOILED BY. HELLO. #letting yourself be loved is something that can be so intimate. #guy who has distances himself so so so much from his loved ones. guy who is suffering SO much because of this choice of his

[snapjock]

JSJJDKDKDF MY BOYS REF IS FINISHED,,, ITS ME

#he is a Revolutionary war ghost who is simply alive in this life time but directly served under the general in war era #and got killed by a friend in the line of duty #i just think hes interesting i love him hes so fun to play with and write for #and hes amoral but has a very strong opinion abt morals thats so hypocritical for him to preach when hes a #thief. a beggar and a liar and a cheat and did everything in his power to steal station and rank and land to get ahead #and didnt actually care about the war itself but about the general and saving his people on his islands outside of america #and never got to save them but is content in knowing he did his best in that alone #and he did his job well in defending and standing up and EMBODYING to the public a strong willed and good hearted man #he definitely is but he will do anything to gain what he feels he needs in life at the end of the day fr himself and family #like for example hed do everything he could during war times to eat bc he was so hungry and would steal from other camps and civilians just #to satisfy his need with no regard for those people's lives or hunger #In his mind he did it to survive but as time went on and they got more supplied and he didnt need to steal or hoard he just never stopped #he needs to be managed and contained like a controlled burn #all wild passion and hunger and drive with nowhere to put it except explosive fits of passion that seem nearly unnatural in nature #hes so outgoing and kind but a hugely morally conflicted character with his own desires and goals #never knowing when hed next overstep some mortal boundry he never connected with even while human and in touch with his better virtues #plus: trans + intersex rep! hes intersex and identifies as boyflux. had top surgery etc #and he's bisexual #but has a very intense obessive love for his General that nobody has ever stepped between so far despite it being mostly (..mostly) #unrequited thus far #luciel tag #oc tag #edith project #art #furry #persona #707.txt

[selfinflictedgunshotwound]

thinkin about that one kpop tweet that was like "when jaehyun gets a gf i'm not gonna act fake like the rest of y'all and say "i want her 😍" i'm going to kill myself" because they are the most genuine person i've ever heard from on the topic tbh. ik for a fact ppl just act fake when shit like that happens esp when they were super big "i wanna fuck him" fans before that lmao

#or the 'omg they're so cute!!' ppl. being happy for the person i get but don't lie to yourself and everyone else lmao #i say that but maybe they are being genuine and i don't get it because i am never genuine in that situation #in fact the only time i was happy for someone i wanted to fuck who got a gf was hyuna and dawn bc they're perfect for e/o #but i won't lie when i was obsessed w him before the truth got leaked i was really upset about the possibility of them dating 🙄 #simply because i am a dipshit who needs everything to be mine and mine alone and if i express attraction in someone w a gf i get angry #at myself. this i think stems back to my best friend deciding to date my 2 year long crush because she was mad at me and he liked her #and she didn't even like him like that but she would go 'you should be happy for us if you like both of us! why are you so angry?' #even tho she was legit just doing it to MAKE ME ANGRY and then she dumped him a week later after i stopped being mad at her #and tried to be 'genuinely' happy for them #so idk. that was probably the worst thing she could've done to me because i don't think i'll ever get over it and it happened when we were #like. 10 #anyways my point is that i may be a delusional freak but at least i don't lie to myself and everyone else abt it 🤷‍♀️ #unless it was like almost a yr ago when i found out abt jrmas gf and i lied and said i was happy for him LMAO but i had to say that to move #on w/ my life and it didn't even end up working bc here i am writing more text posts about how i haven't moved on and i hate his gf for #existing. welllllll i'm a mean and volatile person and i overindulge myself in other people's business if i become obsessed so i was never #a good person but that's the long and short of it i guess. #i really wish i wasn't so stupid and didn't have to proclivity towards people who will never know who i am and never like me if they did #but i have genuinely only been this way and if u read my life like a book u would be disgusted and perturbed by what u saw #but tou would be drawing parallels about this back to the first fuckin chapter i can tell ya that much #idk ig i was right when i said that this would be the last time and that it's him or nobody for me because i just don't care anymore #i can't believe i've ever been stupid enough to think that i'd end up with someone just bc i was a fan of them #and yet she ended up with him as a fan so. just makes me see red but it's whatever LMAO #if u read all that i implore u to block me if you have any bad vibes bc this is just the kind of person i am and i'm sorry i weird u out #and if ya do. thank u for ur concern and i'm sorry i couldn't have been a kinder or more well adjusted person who was worth talking to... #in the end i guess i am just the obsessive weirdo that i have been since i was 6 #it all just comes down to me not thinking she deserves him. i think if he stayed w kim i would've been fine and gotten over him normally #but he just had to fuck a fan huh #anyways i'll be fine no worries i just need to do hard drugs and die probably

[pepprs]

also like my school literally doesn’t report covid cases on campus for like almost 2 weeks. they haven’t updated the dashboard since May 12 and in that time SO many ppl i know on campus have gotten it. so im sure cases are very high and i do not fucking trust then to keep us all safe. they don’t fucking care <- is applying to work for them full time 💀 but still

#purrs #this person who graduated from here in December and is disabled became a covid activist and started this whole organization about keeping c #campuses covid safe and im just crying looking at what they did because of how horribly they were treated and how i fucking backed down when #they were like we already are doing the maximum we can do ♥️ like no you FUCKING aren’t. you are denying reality. you are pretending like #covid is over and it isn’t. and im not even disabled or immunocompromised like there are students who are who won’t be able to go to this an #and it doesn’t even matter because no one wants to wear masks anymore ♥️ like how fucking stupid can you be. not everyone is onay with mask #mandates being removed. not everyone can SURVIVE if mask mandates are removed. so why can’t everyone just endure a temporary inconvenience s #so EVERYONE who worked hard for this can attend and not have to worry about risking their lives and their families lives. its fucking #horrific. like does NOBODY care anymore. are we just giving up completely. fuck them andfuck all the people who are making it hard to access #care and actively denying people who want or NEED stricter guidelines an opportunity to go. this fucking sucks and i feel so bad for that pe #person bc they got ruthlessly mocked on Twitter and had to go thru all this legal bullshit with the admin and they did NOTHI NG and it’s lik #like i don’t even know you h it good for you for taking how painful that was and trying to help people navigate it. and i don’t know what to #do with any of this except not go but also im in pain and not thinking clearly but this is fucking nightmarish. like you want to talk #draconian how about the choices being miss your graduation or get a disease that could lead to chronic illness and death. lol #ask to tag

[thedeadthree]

shouting from the rooftops because this song is FITTING for chiara/marc and im yelling. and taylor swift did it again and made a song that fits them as well why am i crying.

#oc: chiara de laurentis #x: under the betrayer moon #x: chiara x marc #*personal #born into status tell nobody that you never had it / don’t tell nobody that you was abandoned / im the only one that know about your tragedy #the song FITS IT FITS SO WELL WITH THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN CHIARA AND MARC #him being the only person she told about what REALLY happened the night cosimo died #how she was brainwashed by her au pair and dreykov and was made a sleeper widow and his nonna found out l #and wanted to frame her for k*lling her grandson when in reality she didn’t do it by choice #but who are you going to believe? her? or someone who’s a well respected member of high society? #sure she’s a BORGIA but like…… the direct bloodline died CENTURIES ago.. and cosimo was a direct line medici #and not to mention there were rumors that chiara fell in love with someone and wanted to leave cosimo for them #(that part is true she DID fall in love with someone *cough* MARC. but not the point!) #(and the thing is that she wanted cosimo to find happiness of his own! that they didn’t want to be stuck in loveless marriages!) #(like their parents! having secret affairs with partners she cared about him and knew they both deserved to be happy!) #i just…… THEM. #i need to work on the intro edit for them I HAVE SO MANY IDEAS AND MAYBE A FEW FICS AS WELL ✨😌 #i love them…… so much! #leg.txt #currents crept you out again / and you were just gone and gone and gone / in silent screams / in wildest dreams / i never dreamed of this #this love is good / this love is bad / this love is alive back from the dead #these hands had to let it go free and / this love came back to me // CRYINGGGGG #her being dusted! waking up and marc isn’t there! had to go looking for him! realizing he was married! then that marriage ended and! #this lovesick fool finallt gets the nerve to tell him! and it came back to her! fucking sobbing rn! #taylor swift writing my ocs AND their ships once again like…… ma’am.. PLEASE.