#but like. I always think about how drivers are so tactile with their team. with their engineers. with their team bosses. with the mechanics

[maxemilianverstappen]

omg your "analysis" of charles' one sided hatred towards max back when they were kids is exactly the impression i had too! like for example this year, when max said in a press conference that they could now laugh about it (the incidents they had etc) and george mentioned that sharl was still not laughing... 😭 im convinced he's still traumatised from the many sleepless nights he had to endure after ruined races while max was probably (most likely) over it after an hour at most lmao

Max's mentality must be like "I prepare fully beforehand, give my all during it, learn from it, and then put it past me. Because I can't change what happened." He accepts the outcomes of stuff quicker and thus saves himself from a load of heartache and headache. He seems like someone who is ready and willing to let past sourness/disappoitments/hard feelings go as long as the other party also looks willing to forgive and forget. This doesn't mean he is any less passionate or hungry for more success. He just knows the moment when shit is out of his hands and puts it aside to look what's before him. Max is what I aspire to be like, but it is a hard mentality to learn/adopt after you grow up as someone like Charles.

Charles on the other hand looks like the type who holds onto grudges, never forgets/forgives past mistakes and possibly reexperiences them with equal emotional reaction when he remembers them. Though he is said to have a very strong mental fortitude, too, I think their strenghts stem from different things. Like, Max's comes from knowing when to let go of shit and Charles' comes from holding onto shit adamantly.

I am no psychologist, but I think Max's approach is more positive on the long run.

Max's general approach to stuff is almost always positive. He steps into situations with good faith and openly. And if he thinks his rage is required, he rages.

Charles is very cautious. He steps into situations on guard and it is so obvious that he restrains himself much more than Max if he finds his rage is provoked.

Their personalities are quite different. Their personalities fit to their teams' images to a t, too.

Ferrari is the aristocrat of the racing scene and expects a certain degree of decorum and tactileness from its drivers to fit in with their "eliteness", while Redbull is like the hot blooded hotshot ruling the streets, wild, fun and spontaneous.

I have been watching how max and Charles are talking about each other in interviews closely and they both look on a different page about their shared past.

Charles has been bringing up how they were both angry at each other, hated each other so much, it is interestingly enough the first thing he mentions. It feels like he is still holding onto those emotions to some extent. But now Max must be finding their karting days rivalry shenanigans hilarious and childish meanwhile acknowledging how the circumstances had made them feel like that during those years.

Look, you can see the way Max is much more ready to get on well with people from his recent comments about Lewis, too. He said he had no hard feelings about his Silverstone accident, that he has no problems with him. He asked about his back, he tried to boost his morale about Mercedes' struggles... That boy is a very good egg.

I am on the fence about his relationship with Charles even though I like their shipping scene a lot. Max loses quite gracefully and has always looked genuinely happy for Charles, always approached him, always initiating their talks. I want to see the reverse of this situation, too, but I doubt it. And it is okay, I am just ONE person out of the whole fandom who is seeing them like this possibly. That's why I'm not writing fics for them, because i think I'm alone in my personal headcanons about them.

#i answer things #max #chal

[russilton]

🤲 pretty please, anything you like! <3

🤲 Would you please share a snippet of a wip?

YOU KNOW I WILL, here’s 800 words from my favourite scene in aiwlyn so far

Australia feels like a dream.

George feels an ache in his jaw from smiling, his skin is sticky with champagne and beginning to itch where his under suit is glued to his neck, but he doesn’t care. He’s buzzing, a muted hyperactive feeling singing through his nerves as he’s rushed from the podium back to the excited cheers of his team, then before he can blink he’s ushered away to handle his press duties. He knows p3 isn’t something a lot of drivers would be happy with, a necessary part of a champions mentality being the instinct to only be happy with first. But it’s different for George, not only is this his first podium for Mercedes’, it’s his first true race podium too, erasing the conflicted feeling he had about Spa with new, joyous pride.

It’s only as he’s walking to the press pen that George catches sight of a grid showing the final race positions. The giddy joy of seeing his own name in the top three turns sour when he sees Lewis placed just behind him in fourth.

For the team, fourth is a great result, he knows when asked Toto will say he and Lewis achieved the best possible result for Mercedes’ today, that George will have to echo something similar himself. But George is a racer, he knows what it’s like to place behind your teammate. How frustrated anger can override any fondness. George doesn’t even know how he hadn’t noticed, he must have been too wrapped up in the glory of celebration. He had always assumed when he got his first podium for the team, that Lewis would be right there alongside him, that he wouldn’t have to worry about Lewis hating him because he’d be a step or two above him, hoisting his own trophy high.

But instead he’s the one keeping Lewis off the podium, and anxiety starts to climb up his throat as he wonders if Lewis hates him for it. It settles right in with the soreness from yelling. His feet are rooted to the ground, mind running horrible scenarios at break neck speed thanks to the residual adrenaline in his system, till his Press Manager finally realised George isn’t on his heels, and turns to grab him and pull him back on the path to his interviews.

The last thing George wants to do right now is put on his PR smile and talk to journalists. He wants to run back to his drivers room, hide on his own till he can figure out what he has to say to Lewis in order for Lewis to keep liking him. How to protect the new seed of their closeness, small, and oh so fragile.

His legs carry him on auto pilot, instinct taking over as he turns to talk to his first interviewer, hiding his now almost frantic worry about Lewis behind a stretched thin smile. He can’t let any of his anxiety slip, or they’ll pounce on it. The media have been desperate to get him to turn on Lewis, or vice versa, vultures circling an animal they’re sure is dying.

Suddenly, there’s a familiar hand on his shoulder turning him, and he’s yanked into a hug. It only takes a second to realise it’s Lewis, and George can’t stop himself from sinking into the embrace. It’s barely a half hug, there’s people around and both of them have interviewers to speak to, but it’s enough. He thinks he’s holding it together, fingers gripped vice tight around his water bottle so he doesn’t accidentally drop it and embarrass himself, but then Lewis opens his mouth.

“Congrats George, I’m so fuckin’ proud of you”

It’s barely a whisper, right into his ear, just for him. The already weakened dam around his overwhelmed mind cracks, and he has to tip his head forward and hope the brim of his hat hides the tears gathering in his eyes. It’s such a small gesture, but it’s exactly what George needs, a simple tactile reassurance that Lewis is happy for him. He won’t have to worry about resentment if Lewis is going out of his way to find and congratulate him. George is so relieved he has to resist burying his face in Lewis’s shoulder. This is enough.

His breath hitches as the strong band of Lewis’ arm around his back squeezes tight, patting him firmly once, and then he’s letting go. The moment barely lasts 30 seconds, but It feels like a lifetime.

He turns back to his interviewer on autopilot, taking a deep breath and trying to centre himself. He’s aware his eyes must look wet, and his lip wobbles as he opens his mouth to answer, but he doesn’t care.

He’s done it; he has his first true podium, the first that counts. As the interviews wind down he glances over his shoulder and spots Lewis grinning at him, he feels the answering smile threaten to split his face in two.

Fanfic Writer Emoji Asks

#asks #anonymous #britcedes #gewis #4463 #mark’s fic tag #ask games #aiwlyn #ask memes

[ef-1]

Oh to be a kart mechanic who gets to tape padding to Daniel's child bearing hips so he doesn't get bruised in the kart...

#daniel ricciardo #f1 #unhinged rant incoming please ignore: #but like. I always think about how drivers are so tactile with their team. with their engineers. with their team bosses. with the mechanics #there are so many people in the garage but there is so much familiarity between them #i know they all practically live together during race weekends but it so compelling to me. little travelling circus families in uniforms... #also i cant help but think how its both a blessing and a curse. it must be nice to be on the receiving end of so much physical affection #but also how it has the capacity to be overwhelming or overstimulating to lay yourself at everyone's hands #symbiotic. dysfunctional. loving little families. its a lot to think about #tag yourself btw I'm the mechanic who bends down to tear the tape with my teeth instead of using scissors

[spaceskam]

8 for Malex? Thanks!

*hiding because this took an embarrassing amount of time I'm sorry*

tags: high school au, slight mental health stuff goin’ on, bed sharing

8. bedtime stories [ao3]

Alex never claimed to be subtle.

He watched Michael openly, his thumb between his teeth as he eyed the way he pulled his shirt over his head. He knew this was probably inappropriate. However, Michael was hot and had yet to tell him to stop staring. Sometimes it seemed like he deliberately did things to make Alex stare. So Alex kept on and hoped that, if he was only doing this to make fun of Alex, at least he got something nice to look at.

“Hey, Alex,” Michael called, tossing his sweaty shirt into his bag and grabbing a dry one, “Do you think your brother would mind if I stayed over tonight? I don’t feel like going home.”

Alex swallowed and sat up straight. He looked around at the other guys in the locker room. He was sure one of them would say something. Magically, they didn’t. 

“Clay won’t care,” Alex said, trying to seem nonchalant. Michael closed his locker and looked at him with a massive grin as he pulled his shirt down. His hair was still damp with sweat and it stuck to his forehead. Both of those things together were too much for Alex’s sanity.

“Cool. Meet you after school at my truck?”

“Okay. Yeah.”

Michael leaned close into Alex’s face and gave a mocking, “Okay, yeah,” before he laughed and walked around Alex. He twisted on the bench and followed him with his eyes as he went to the other side of the locker room where his other friends were. They instantly started talking about the game next Friday and how they were playing Carlsbad and how their team’s cheerleaders were hot. Michael didn’t deny it and Alex tried not to feel weird about it.

Instead, he grabbed his back and quickly headed out of the locker room. He hated gym and had put it off until his senior year, but now he was stuck doing it with basically no one to talk to except sophomore loners who seemed content to fail the class. He felt that.

The only highlight of it was Michael Guerin who he got to watch work up a sweat for 45 minutes every single day of the week. He got to watch him play dodgeball with too much enthusiasm and run the mile at the fastest in the class and play put-out with his friends. Alex had, somehow, befriended him when they were freshmen and both the youngest in their math class, so they stuck together. Then sophomore year they had Spanish together, junior year they had chemistry, this year they had gym. It wasn’t much but it was enough to spark an unlikely class-only friendship that turned into a school-only friendship that turned into an actual one.

He was Alex’s favorite person in the world.

The next two classes passed by relatively quickly, solely relying on the fact that Alex wasn’t paying attention and instead doodling aimlessly in his notes. Science was boring, math was easy.

Alex let himself into Michael’s truck because he was a dumbass who never locked it and sat in the passenger seat. His notebook stayed in his lap and he kept shading in the boat he was working on as the parking lot filled with other people going to their cars and people going to their buses. Michael always talked to his fellow football players before he left considering they couldn’t leave until the buses did anyway, so Alex wasn’t in a rush.

When Michael did climb in, he raised his head to get a good look at him. Because he always wanted to get a good look at him. Today, just like most days, he looked gorgeous and lit up from the inside and he was already staring at Alex.

“What’cha drawing?” he asked, scooting to the middle to look at Alex’s book. He pressed up against his side and eyed it, nodding his head. “Nice. I’m gonna get one of those tattooed on me one day.”

“What? A boat?”

“No, one of your pieces,” Michael laughed, shaking his head as he moved back to the driver’s seat. He turned the ignition and Alex stared at the side of his face. “Whichever one you think I should. Think about it.”

And Alex would think about it. It wasn’t even the first time he thought about it. Michael had spoken of getting one of his drawings on him before and the thought was quite possibly the most erotic thing Alex could think of which was ridiculous. There was nothing sexy about that in reality. But… Michael shirtless and having something Alex created permanently on his skin was just so good.

He went back to the drawing before he could entertain putting his tongue on it.

Michael turned up the radio before backing out of his spot and then they were on their way to Alex’s house. He put his drawing down in favor of watching out the window as Michael badly sang along to Nirvana and Beck.

Junior year was the first time Michael had come over to his house and it had felt weird to acknowledge that the person he’d spoken to nearly every day for over two years knew approximately nothing about his home life. Alex had half-assed an explanation about how his mother left and his dad was in jail, so Alex only lived with his brothers. Michael hadn’t judged him, only loudly made it clear he thought Clay was badass for stepping up when he was freshly 18 to make sure the rest of them didn’t get too screwed.

It was a few more after school hangouts after that that Michael confided that he’d been in the foster care system since he was a baby and had been in a group home for the last few years. Teenage boys were a hard sell to foster parents, apparently.

Clay had no problem giving his number to the group home to call for check-ins whenever Michael started staying over. 

“Please tell me he got spicy Doritos because I‒hell yeah,” Michael said, letting himself roam freely around the kitchen. He pulled the bag of spicy nacho Doritos labeled Michael out of the pantry and ripped them open, a grin on his face. Alex could watch it all day.

“Can I steal the bar mix that you haven’t touched in, like, a month?” Flint asked, his gaze stuck on his computer where he was doing homework. His eyebrows were pulled into an angry glare at it.

“Yeah, sure, if it’s still good,” Michael answered, falling onto the couch right beside Alex and holding out the bag to him. Alex shook his head. Michael often got food obsessions and would go a month where that was all he wanted, but during bad days it was the only thing he could eat that didn’t make him lose his appetite. 

Despite the fact that he was all smiles, Alex had memorized the warning signs and knew he wouldn’t be eating dinner.

“Sweet,” Flint said, sliding to the pantry to grab the remnants of Michael’s last food obsession.

One of the warning signs that Michael wasn’t doing great, despite the fact that he’d asked to come over at all and hadn’t just invited himself, was the fact that he had taken any excuse all day to be tactile Alex. He’d spent all lunch and gym with him instead of with his football buddies, he’d wanted to sit closer in the truck, he immediately sat practically on top of him on the couch.

Later that night, he sat beside him at dinner and picked at it, only eating the crunchy asparagus and the edges of the tortilla part of his quesadilla. Alex ate what he didn’t.

Michael took a shower and wore Alex’s clothes and made himself at home in Alex’s bed, all cozy and on his phone with his thumb in his mouth when Alex got out of the shower. When they’d first started spending the night together, Michael slept on the couch or on the floor. One night they’d fallen asleep in Alex’s bed during a movie and now that’s where he went each night.

Alex didn’t mind.

He shut off the lights and jumped into bed, putting on Netflix on the TV and starting up where they’d left off in their third watch-through of The Good Place. Michael scooted closer until they were touching in some way, his eyes still partially on his phone and partially on the TV.

It should’ve bothered Alex. It should’ve felt like taunting. Occasionally he did feel the need to shake him and ask him if he really wasn’t seeing how much Alex was into him. Was the staring not enough? Was the way he got a bit dizzy whenever he realized Michael was beginning to smell like Alex’s shampoo not enough? Was Alex’s eyes tracing every bead of sweat that rolled across his face like he hadn’t had water in weeks not enough? Was every single one of Michael’s other friends mentioning that they acted “kinda gay” not enough?

But mostly Alex was fine with it. Michael was safe here and comfortable and Alex wasn’t going to ruin that by wanting something more. So he would keep his hands to himself. He wouldn’t be subtle, but he wouldn’t be overbearing. He would just be Alex and hope that was alright.

“Alex,” Michael whispered, moving until his head was on Alex’s shoulder. Alex hummed in response. “Can you tell me a bedtime story about your boat?”

Alex smiled and shifted, his fingers slipping into Michael’s hair. Michael tilted his head up until they locked eyes. They were so close, just like every time Michael requested a bedtime story, as if that was the only acceptable time to be less than an inch away from each other’s face. Alex very quietly thought that their entire friendship felt like one.

“Once upon a time, there was a very loud pirate captain,” Alex started, watching as Michael’s thumb slowly started gravitating towards his mouth again, “He was old and held very strict beliefs. If you disagreed, he’d throw you overboard.”

“What a dick.”

“Mm, yeah, very. Anyway, he was always angry and his crew were like ‘shit, what if he’s lonely’ and decided they needed to get him a friend.”

“Oh no, poor lonely pirate man,” Michael said around his thumb.

“Poor lonely pirate man indeed,” Alex agreed, nodding solemnly, “So they searched high and low for anyone to be his companion. Not someone on the crew, but someone who would be his equal and separate from his employees. It was a very complicated task. They would find people who seemed good, but then the pirate captain wouldn’t like them and kick them out. It happened so many times they almost gave up. But eventually, they found an astronaut who seemed like a good fit because he was very smart and very happy.”

Michael pulled his thumb from his mouth with a loud pop, “So they really searched high, huh?”

Alex huffed a laugh and nodded, combing back his hair. His heart thudded in his chest as he stared at him, at his interested and tired eyes. God, he was so into him. Every single bit of him. Even when he needed moments like these.

“Yeah, really high. And they brought him back to the boat to meet the captain and they really, really thought he would hate him. But you know what? He didn’t. They actually got on quite well. And the captain started becoming a lot less angry,” Alex said. Michael shifted, pressing closer.

“And did the astronaut change?”

“Mhm. He got to relax too. He didn’t feel like he had to be super smart and happy to make everyone else happy anymore, he could just be himself. He could even be sad sometimes and that was okay because he had someone who liked him no matter what,” Alex explained, “He even would stop at islands to get his favorite foods.”

“Were they just best friends or were they in love?” Michael asked. Alex swallowed carefully and scanned his eyes over his face, trying to gauge what would be a better answer.

“They started as just best friends,” Alex decided, “But they fell in love. They were both. Somewhere in between.”

“Somewhere in between?”

“Yeah, like, not quite just best friends and not quite together romantically. Something different. Something special,” Alex tried. Michael watched him closely. In the background, Eleanor watched herself fall in love with Chidi for one of the hundreds of times they fell in love and Alex tried not to be too poetic about it.

“Alex,” Michael said, his hand dropping between them, “Are we somewhere in between? It feels like we are”

The question was honestly innocent but Alex stopped breathing, not knowing how to answer. He had a football player cuddling up to him in his bed. He should say no. He should save his own ass. He should keep it to himself.

But Michael was comfortable enough to cuddle him, to be babied when he needed it, to be raw and open.

So why couldn’t Alex?

“Do you wanna be?” Alex asked. Michael blinked. “Or… like… do you wanna be somewhere… not in between?”

“Like, on the other side? The romantic side?” Michael clarified. Alex nodded slowly, unsure. “Does it mean I get goodnight kisses?”

Alex let out a slow breath and laughed cautiously, “If you want them.”

“I want them,” Michael said assuredly. Alex couldn’t fucking think straight and he was just smiling stupidly at him. “Well?”

“Well, what?”

“Goodnight kisses, right here,” Michael said, tapping his lips delicately.

“Right. Okay.”

Alex moved his head just a little to give him a soft kiss, barely lasting a few seconds. He didn’t want to be too presumptuous. And, still, it was probably the best kiss he’d ever had in his life. His heart was trying to escape his chest.

He was really doing this. This was really happening.

“Did they live happily ever after, Alex?” Michael asked against his lips. Alex breathed and nodded.

“Yeah. They did.”

#malex #malex fic #michael guerin #alex manes #roswell new mexico #my fic #title tuesday #alexmanesss

[evanbuckley-heartofgold]

The Love We Deserve

Prompt: “You love me as if I deserve you.” (I'm here for the angst you're about to rain down on me)

Jamie (@doctornineandthreequarters) wanted angst so I’m delivering almost 3k of angst. You’re welcome. And I’m also going to tag @thisissirius because they are an amazing writer and said it was okay to tag them in fics so here you go!

Read on ao3

Eddie prides himself on his ability to read others. It is especially handy on calls where he can say the right thing to keep the person he’s trying to help calm. But it is even more helpful when it comes to his boyfriend.

Buck wears his heart on his sleeve, he always has, but there are some things Buck tries so desperately to hide from the light of the world.

Eddie notices that Buck starts hiding his feelings more, using smiles and jokes to disguise obvious hurt and pain boiling beneath the surface. At first, Eddie tries to fix the problem, he gently asks if something is wrong, only to be met with a confused look and Buck saying that everything is just peachy. When that doesn’t work, Eddie moves onto his plan b: giving Buck more affection, trying to draw him out to tell him what’s going on.

The thing about Buck is that he has never been shy with his affection and how tactile he is. Eddie will often wake up in the mornings to find Buck curled completely around him and Buck will hold his hand, kiss his cheek, hug him no matter where they are. Which is why it worries Eddie when his boyfriend starts pulling away from him and tensing when he touches him. So Eddie pulls back on his affection. When Eddie asks if Buck is alright he will just smile and say everything is fine.

Buck has never been a good liar.

Eddie runs in his mind over and over again what could possibly be wrong, but he can’t come up with a single thing. He thought he and Buck were good, that they had overcome all their issues when they confessed their feelings. Obviously that was wrong. Abuela would tell him that he needs to stop seeing the world in black and white, and she’s right.

“You should just talk to him,” Hen tells him, squeezing his leg. They’re sitting in the living room of the firehouse, the team all pitching in to give Eddie much needed advice. “Ask him what’s going on. Waiting for him to come to you is never going to work with him.”

“She’s right,” Bobby tells him from where he sits on the couch. “Buck will never admit he’s hurting until someone makes him.”

Eddie sighs, “I tried to talk to him, but he just keeps telling me that everything is okay. But then he keeps being distant.” Eddie shakes his head, “I don’t think I’ve hugged him in a week.”

“Oh,” Hen is taken aback, it’s well known in the 118 that Buck thrives on affection.

“I’m so worried about him,” Eddie admits. Eddie over at Hen and Chim pleadingly, “What if he’s going to break up with me? What if that’s what this is about?”

“Eddie...” Bobby sits down beside Eddie and squeezes his shoulder. “I’m sure that’s not it. Buck loves you so much.”

Eddie nods and wipes his eyes, “I know, I know. I just...I’m so worried.”

“I know,” Hen says, leaning across to him. “But you need to talk to him.” She checks her watch, “His shift is about to end, why don’t you go catch him before he leaves?”

Eddie nods again, “Okay, yeah, you’re right. I’ll go.” Chim pats him on the back as he walks past him. As Eddie jogs down the stairs and he sees Buck tossing his bag over his shoulder. “Buck! Hold up!” Buck turns around, smiling when he sees Eddie. Eddie feels a piercing cold in his chest when he discovers that the smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

“What’s up?” Buck asks when Eddie is standing in front of him.

“Can we talk?”

Buck frowns, “We can talk at home can’t we?”

Eddie shakes his head, “My shift doesn’t end until tomorrow morning and I just want to talk before then.” Buck nods for him to continue. “What’s going on with you?” Eddie asks gently. “I can tell that you’ve been upset these past few weeks and you keep telling me you’re fine-”

“I am-”

“You’re not,” Eddie insists. “Buck, please tell me what’s wrong. I’m really worried about you.”

Buck sighs and looks up at the ceiling before looking down at his shoes and takes a deep breath. “I’ve just been feeling…” Buck abandons that train of thought and instead says, “I’ve been noticing things about our relationship recently and I guess it’s been making me act a little off around you, I’m sorry.”

Eddie frowns, “Like what? Buck, what are you talking about?”

Buck takes a long breath, “You love me as if I deserve you.” He says it with such conviction that Eddie instantly knows that Buck believes this to be true.

“Buck,” Eddie’s voice is unbearably soft as he brings his hand up to touch Buck’s cheek where tears are already starting to fall. “You do deserve-” Before Eddie can say anything more, Buck steps out of his reach, Eddie’s hand falling between them.

“Don’t lie to me, Eds. I have never deserved you.” Buck bites his lip as the tears just keep falling and Eddie finds his eyes misty as well. “You are such a good man, a veteran, and a damn good firefighter. And I-I’m...not.” Eddie is just about to jump in and protest, but Buck says, “I didn’t want to do this here, but I don’t think I can do this anymore.” Eddie’s heart grows heavy in his chest. Does he really mean that? “I can’t keep waiting for the other shoe to drop and waiting for you to realize how much of a fuck up I am. I’m sorry, Eddie.” Buck lets his head drop as he turns to walk out of the station.

“Buck, wait!” Eddie grabs his hand, fighting back his tears. He has to make this right. “Please don’t go, let’s talk. Okay? Let’s figure out what’s going on in here.” Eddie taps Buck’s temple. When Buck just looks at him blankly, Eddie says, “I love you, Evan.”

“Don’t,” Buck says, wincing as if the words have caused him physical pain. “Please don’t make this any harder than it has to be.”

“You’re not breaking up with me, Evan Buckley,” Eddie’s voice is strong though his eyes are filled with tears. The love of his life is about to leave him. “We’re in this together. I need you, Chris needs you.”

Buck gives him a sad smile, “No, you don’t. I love you too, Eddie. But I’m-I’m not the man you deserve.” He shakes himself out of Eddie’s grasp and starts walking towards the doors of the station once more, taking Eddie’s heart with him.

“Yes, you are!” Eddie shouts after him. “Please, Buck.”

Buck doesn’t turn around and the second the door closes behind him, Eddie falls to his knees sobbing. Hen is at his side in an instant, pulling him and holding him as he sobs. Eddie’s chest hurts so much, how can Buck think that? Of course Buck deserves him. Buck is the only man he has ever loved, how can he do this to him? Did Eddie do something or say something to make Buck think like that?

Eddie distantly notices that Bobby and Chim are kneeling beside him as well, all three of them hugging him. Eddie lets the team hold him as he desperately sobs. The love of his life is gone.

“Shh,” Hen soothes, running her hand through his hair. “You’re okay.”

Eddie shakes his head, “No, I’m not.”

Bobby hauls him up and hugs Eddie tightly. Eddie clings to him soaking in any comfort offered to him. He can feel the rumbles in Bobby’s chest as he talks, but Eddie doesn’t hear a word of it. He wants Buck to burst through the doors and pull him into his arms and tell him that everything will be okay. But Eddie knows that won’t happen.

The bell rings.

Bobby looks down at Eddie apprehensively, “Kid...”

“I’m coming,” Eddie jumps to his feet along with the rest of the team, ignoring the worried looks they all give him. Eddie takes a deep breath, “Please, Bobby. I don’t have to help just let me come.”

Bobby sighs, “Get in the truck.”

...

“Okay, guys,” Bobby looks over the back of his seat. Hen has her hand in Eddie’s, running her thumb in soft circles on the back of his hand. “We have a car crash, driver one was t-boned in the middle of an intersection by driver two. Bystander called 9-1-1, said driver one is not responding but is still alive and driver two is perfectly fine except for a broken nose.” The team nods in understanding. And not even five minutes later, they arrive. “Okay, let’s go!”

Hen and Chim rush out first, checking over the driver still in the car. As Eddie starts to follow them, he feels all the air seize from his lungs. That’s Buck’s jeep. Bobby grabs him around the waist to keep him from falling.

“Cap!” Chim calls from where he stands by the passenger side window of the totaled car, his face distraught. “It’s Buck!”

“Eddie,” Bobby says lowly. “Why don’t you go sit in the truck-”

“I need to help,” Eddie interrupts. “Please, cap. Let me help him.”

Bobby sighs, “Okay.” With Bobby’s blessing, Eddie runs over to the car nearly falling again when he sees Buck through the passenger side window. He’s unconscious, his head is lolled against his neck and his face is coated with blood from the broken glass. Eddie can see that the door is crushed into Buck’s left side.

“Eddie, get the jaws!” Bobby orders, pulling the firefighter out of his reverie. Eddie stumbles into motion, running back to the truck and pulling the hatch open to grab the jaws. As his feet pound against the asphalt, Eddie forces himself to breathe, to think of this as any other accident, not one involving the love of his life who may or may not have broken up with him not even an hour ago.

As Bobby slots the jaws in the door, Eddie steps back, silently praying for Buck to be alright. He just needs to live, that’s all. Eddie can live without him, he can live with Buck breaking up with him. He can’t live with Buck being gone.

Buck groans as the door is pulled away from him, “E-Ed...” Buck tries to say.

Eddie is at his side the second the door falls away, taking Buck’s hand, “I’m right here, Evan.”

“I-I’m so-sorry,” Buck manages to say, his voice so quiet Eddie has to strain to hear him. Just as Buck mutters the final syllable, he goes slack in his seat.

“Buck!” Eddie exclaims, he tries to move closer to his boyfriend, but Bobby grabs him by the waist and drags him away to let Hen and Chim get to Buck. Eddie fights Bobby, pulling against him to try to get back, Buck needs him, he’s hurt.

But Bobby doesn’t let go. He keeps his grip tight, allowing Eddie to watch what’s happening, but not interfere.

Buck is lifted out of the car and placed on the backboard, Hen and Chim count to three before rushing to the ambulance. Only then does Bobby let Eddie go and jump into the ambulance after them.

Eddie stares down at Buck, not even daring to breathe as Hen starts taking care of him. He grabs Buck’s hand and squeezes, hoping that Buck will return the gesture. He doesn’t.

...

Buck wakes up slowly. His body feels like his veins are filled with lead, though his head feels warm and soft. He thinks the room is silent, but then he hears an annoying little beeping. Buck scrunches up his nose, someone should turn that off.

He blinks his eyes open to find himself in a brightly lit hospital room. At first he thinks the room is empty but when he looks to his right he sees Eddie, fast asleep with his head pillowed on the bed beside him. Eddie’s hand is in his own and from the looks of him he’s been there for a while.

And Buck remembers everything.

Their fight, him leaving, the car crash. Pain runs through his chest, but Buck knows that it’s a manifestation of his emotional turmoil, rather than true pain. He told Eddie he was done, that they were done. Buck has never regretted something more than those words. But his reason for them still rings true.

Buck tentatively reaches out and touches Eddie’s cheek. When Eddie doesn’t stir, Buck moves his hand through Eddie’s hair, a trick he has used many times and he knows it is one of the only ways to wake Eddie up without him being grumpy. Sure enough, Eddie starts making his soft waking up noises.

Eddie lifts his head groggily and when he sees Buck awake and looking down at him, he sits straight upright. “Buck,” he breathes almost reverently. Then before Buck knows what’s happening, Eddie is on top of him, hugging him tightly. Buck tentatively returns the embrace, not knowing if his touch will be welcome after what he said.

But Eddie just cries into his shoulder, “I thought you were dead, Evan. I-I saw you in the car and I could only think about how our last words would have been fighting and I could never forgive myself if you were to die without knowing how much I love you.”

“Eds,” Buck tries. But Eddie just shakes his head and sits up, taking Buck’s hands and ignoring his falling tears.

“Buck, you do deserve me,” Eddie looks straight into Buck’s eyes.

“Do we have to do this now?” Buck protests.

Eddie gives him a look, “Are you in any pain?” Buck shakes his head. “Then we’re doing this now when you can’t run away, and because I thought you were dead.”

Buck sighs and shakes his head, “I’m sorry-”

Eddie rolls his eyes, “Don’t try to apologize for almost dying.”

Buck takes Eddie’s hand to quiet him. “Listen, Eddie. You’re-you’re a great man, you’re a veteran and a damn good dad. Who am I compared to you? I don’t deserve you.”

“You’re the love of my life,” Eddie says simply. He puts a hand on Buck’s cheek and makes Buck look at him. “You’re a badass firefighter with a big heart. You wear your emotions on your sleeve and you are a hero.” Eddie taps Buck’s chest. “You are a great dad to my son-”

“I’m not-”

“I’m not done yet,” Eddie shushes him. “You are a hero, Evan Buckley. You have helped so many people and you are my best friend. I love you so much even if you take too many risks and get yourself landed in the hospital far too many times for my taste, I love you. You deserve me, Evan. You always will.” Eddie uses his thumb to wipe away some of Buck’s tears. Buck reaches up and holds onto Eddie’s wrist as he starts to cry in earnest. Eddie softens and opens his arms for Buck to fall into.

He holds onto his boyfriend tightly as Buck sobs heavily into his chest, “You really mean that?” Buck says.

Eddie nods, “Of course, amor. I mean every word. You and Chris mean the world to me. I hate that you thought that you’re not enough for me but I’m here to help you.”

“Thank you,” Buck sits up a moment later, using the heels of his hands to mop up his tears. “I love you too.” Eddie smiles and gives Buck a soft kiss.

“What’s the damage?” Buck asks looking down at himself and sighing.

Eddie sighs, “Two broken ribs, grade two concussion, some cuts and bruises.” Eddie smiles, “You were really lucky. Feel any pain?”

Buck nods, “A little bit. I don’t think crying helped.”

Eddie gives him a gentle smile, “I’m sure it didn’t.” He presses the call button for the nurse and after she comes and delivers Buck more pain meds, Buck relaxes back into the bed.

“I know a few people who are waiting very patiently outside to come and see you,” Eddie says with a smile. “Including a very worried little boy.”

Buck smiles at that, “You can bring them in.” Eddie squeezes his hand and gets up to do so, but stops just before he gets to the door.

Turning around to face Buck again, Eddie asks, “Are we okay?”

Buck nods, “Yeah, I think we are.”

It takes time, months even, for Buck to truly believe that he is deserving of his life. But in the end he is grateful for his family and for Eddie who keeps picking him up when he falls.

#my fic #911 #911 on fox #eddie diaz #evan buckley #911 fic #bobby nash #henrietta wilson #howie han #buddie #buck/eddie #buddie fic #fire fam

[waspgrave]

2 4 6 8 10 12 14 16 18 20 for mason and esme!

Hoo boy, thank you! 

How’s their team work? Do they share well?

It’s TRASH at first. He’s standoffish and she finds him rude in the beginning. But once they get over that, they work really well together. They’re good talking to people when together and getting a handle on scenes and fights if needed. I think they share well enough.

Any tasks that are always left to one person?

Mason’s is being intimidating at people while hers is being cute and approachable. Otherwise, she probably defaults to being the one to make plans for things since he seems more inclined to just do whatever. And he probably is always lowkey on a lookout with her since she’s forgetful and tends to leave her stuff behind, lock herself out of her car or apartment, trip over random stuff.

What do they like best about their partner?

He’s a lot sweeter than he comes across to others. Once they’re more comfortable with each other, he actually gets a lot more tactile and affectionate in certain ways. He holds onto her hand and is always the first person to try and sit closest to her. And he’s quiet, but he does listen when she talks even when it involves her using his hands or his hair to fidget with while she’s venting lmao. 

And aside from loving how she reacts to him, he genuinely seems to feel comforted by her. No matter how much he tends to act like he doesn’t need anyone looking out for him, she’s always there at his defense or offering a hand or comfort. And she’s soothing even in random ways (he likes when she sings ;;;;) and by existing around him. She’s super witty so she gets him to laugh more and more as time goes by.

Who drives? Cooks? Does the handiwork? Cleans? Pays the bills? Handles the public?

OK, straight up, she’s the one who does most of this if only because he is such a ‘mind ya business’ sort of person that keeps to himself and doesn’t need to do half of these. Apparently he drives, but it’s a harrowing experience for the passengers so she’s the driver 80% of the time. He may...exist around her when she’s cooking, but is only helpful in maybe handing her something if she needs it wince the whole ordeal probably disgusts him. Which is fine with her because she hates cooking anyways. 

He’s probably just a little neater than her (she is very forgetful and scatterbrained with things) so he might straighten out things before she gets to them.

Is there a wedding? What was the proposal like? Any kind of honeymoon?

Oh my god. Maybe. I think they’ll talk about it in the future according to Sera, but apparently he’d probably propose doing something inappropriate and that sounds about right for them. It’d probably be a very random thing he’d say in the middle of sex and both of them would just be “Oh…” at. But she’d say yes and tease him on not having a ring for such a romantic occasion.

If they did get married, it’d be very lowkey. Like lowkey enough that it’s UB, her mother, Tina, and Verda’s family. And I have no idea what sort of honeymoon they’d have, but whatever they chose probably would be mostly in a private room.

Anything they both dread?

Well, he’s immortal…... Ignoring that, I think losing each other or having the other one get hurt seems to be the common theme in their route.

Do they keep secrets? Lie? Cheat?

If they do, they both don’t know about it. The biggest secret right now is that he clearly knows why he doesn’t remember anything and it probably makes her a little sad that she’s not trusted with that information yet.

What are their dates like? How long do/did they date? Do they ever feel the need to take a break from each other?

Their dates are inappropriate 50% of the time. They probably just like to enjoy each other’s company no matter what so they don’t do anything too grandiose (half because i think traditional date settings really aren’t either of their thing) past maybe taking a slightly more scenic walk together or just enjoying looking at the stars together at night. 9 times out of 10, it ends exactly as you expect a date would with Mason.

I don’t think they need many breaks from each other. They’re usually content to be comfortable around each other in the same vicinity even if they’re doing their own thing. If anything, I’m p sure it’s canon that Mason gets anxious if she’s not around for too long once they’re in a deeper relationship.

What does their home look like? Their room?

Not very picket-fence like Amelie and Nate’s would be. If they wind up with their own home, it’d probably relatively small and an interesting mix of their aesthetics with her having all her eye-catching patterns and colors alongside dim lighting and blackout curtains. Barely any plants because she kills every plant she touches, but pictures scattered about of them and their friends and just scenery of different places she’s been to and photographed. The same applies to the bedroom, though his style is more present in there with darker colors than what she typically defaults to. Honestly, it probably looks very cozy and exactly the sort of place my light-sensitive ass would want to live. 

#ask meme things #esme & mason #waaah i really do be out there loving these two #denerims

[headcanons-inc]

ushioi and iwasemi for the ship game!! (i hope you don't mind me asking for two!!!)

Sure, and I don’t mind at all! Send as many as you want :D (avoid exceeding 4 though bc that is A Lot xD)

UshiOi

Who worries about how they will look when they’re older: Oikawa. His dad went bald pretty early(like 25) so he’s always had that nagging voice in the back of his mind that said he was going to go bald just as early(spoiler alert: he doesn’t, and he takes after his mom’s luscious and full locks)

Who makes the mix tapes/cd’s: Ushijima. He noticed Oikawa likes listening to music when he’s stressed and ends up making him a few mix tapes with calming music on it. 

Clings to the other during scary movies: Ushijima has become immune to jump scares after too many horror movie marathons with Tendou and the rest of his team, so it’s usually Oikawa doing the clinging. 

Gets into the shower with the other randomly: I can see them both doing it? For Ushijima it’s more of a casual thing, like he needed to use the shower but Oikawa was taking too long, but for Oikawa, it’s more of a, uh… dirty reason ;)

Flashes the other when they walk by after taking a shower alone: Oikawa. He’s salty about Ushijima’s reason to come into the shower. 

Initiates hand holding while the other is driving: Oikawa. While he finds it cute, Ushijima usually gets a bit annoyed bc “Oikawa honey I need both hands to drive” 

Secretly tries to touch the other in naughty places during public/family events

Asks weird questions in the middle of the night: Both???? Oikawa’s usually involves UFOs or extraterrestrials of some sort, whereas Ushijima usually just asks the stereotypical “Do pigeons have feelings?” 

Asks “what are you thinking about?”: Oikawa, though it’s mostly because he finds Ushijima’s face really hard to read, not to be romantic or anything. 

Always has to be touching the other, (if either of them do): Probably Oikawa. He’s a tactile person in general so he always feels the need to be holding Ushijima’s hand or something(Ushi doesn’t mind at all) 

IwaSemi 

Who worries about how they will look when they’re older: Iwaizumi, though it’s mostly the fact that’s worried he won’t grow anymore and he’ll be stuck at that height forever. 

Who makes the mix tapes/cd’s: Semi’s a closet romantic and likes surprising Iwaizumi with mix tapes of songs he thought Iwaizumi might enjoy(he usually does, Semi has good taste in music) 

Clings to the other during scary movies: Unfortunately for Semi, months of horror movie marathons did not, in fact, desensitize him to horror movies, so he usually ends up clinging to his bf practically the entire time

Gets into the shower with the other randomly: Iwaizumi, though things don’t often escalate to doing ~the do~, mostly because Semi’s too focused on his hair(he takes care of that shit!)

Flashes the other when they walk by after taking a shower alone: Semi, mostly because he likes it when Iwaizumi’s face gets red(he thinks it looks nice) 

Initiates hand holding while the other is driving: Semi doesn’t have his driver’s license yet, so usually Semi(unlike Ushijima, Iwaizumi can drive with one hand, so he doesn’t mind)

Secretly tries to touch the other in naughty places during public/family events

Asks weird questions in the middle of the night: THEY BOTH DO. They’re like SUPER weird questions too, not like “Do pigeons have feelings?”, more like Semi asking “Do you think giving someone a shot of hydrogen peroxide straight into their bloodstream would kill them?” And Iwaizumi causally responding, “Probably. You think it would kill a bear, though? They have more body mass so they should have more blood…” It’s like borderline concerning. 

Asks “what are you thinking about?”: Semi, and Iwaizumi always answers “You” bc they’re both cheesy fucks 

Always has to be touching the other, (if either of them do): I can’t see either of them being super tactile honestly, but they hold hands a lot 

Thanks for the request!

#seriously send as many as you want! #I don't mind :) #haikyuu!! #oikawa tooru #iwaizumi hajime #ushijima wakatoshi #semi eita #ushioi #iwasemi #tooruinspace #ship headcanons #ship meme

[artiegayberg]

monsieur/chevalier for the otp thing also feel better lad

Cheers lad

1. Who rocks the Ferris wheel and who begs them to stop? Philippe rocks the Ferris wheel, because he is terrible and naughty. Even if Chevy didn’t freak out at that he’d definitely get motion sick within 0.3 seconds and force Philippe to stop for the sake of their clothes.2. Who is always horny? Both they’re both awful, maybe Philippe more so (and especially as they grew older Chevy provided lots of younger men for him because he couldn’t keep up himself) but still.3. Who is more into baths/showers together and who makes it sexual? Philippe is always the one to either invite Chevy or invite himself (by which I mean appearing unexpectedly and causing a lot of startled, indignant splashing). Chevy makes it sexual.

4. Who walks around naked and who tells the other to put clothes on? Philippe - Chevy enjoys his own fashion sense too much to go anywhere beyond the bedroom without it. Let’s be honest though the only time he asks/tells Philippe to get dressed is when he wants to dress him.5. Who sleeps on the couch after a fight? Chevy slinks off back to his own rooms but they’re both too proud(/vain) to sleep on any couch.6. Who takes photos of the other sleeping? Both - what better way to scandalise the nobles than with pictures of your fucked-out naked lover?? Kind of fits the modern equivalent of them telling the court about their kinky sex life.7. Who said “I love you” first and who ends fights with “because I love you”? Chevy was first to say it, Philippe was first to say it and mean it. For both of them I think their argument style is more very personal nasty comments and threats, so neither really? There was that one time Chevy begged the king to let him leave court because he loved Philippe too much to watch while he lost him or whatever but I think that was more manipulative than genuine and it wasn’t direct so does it really count??8. Who likes to wear the other’s sweatshirts? They both shamelessly borrow the other’s clothes like if a certain waistcoat would match their outfit they’ll just take it but it doesn’t happen all that often - they’re both very fashion-conscious bellmen with huge wardrobes of their own. Chevy is very slightly more careful about it than Philippe.9. Who wakes up the other in the middle of the night over a cool dream? Who has the most nightmares, and who sings them back to sleep after? Chevy is such a deep sleeper it’s ridiculous and neither of them appreciate being woken at ungodly hours so the first doesn’t really happen at all. Philippe definitely has the most nightmares but I don’t think either of them would seek comfort like that? They’re both highkey into cuddling though like one of those mythical couples who stay cuddling really close all night and that’s just the right amount of comfort for them both without feeling crowded (Philippe) or embarrassed (Chevy).10. Who is more likely to cheat? Is it cheating if you share a group of mignons and occasionally both wander into other beds(/behind bushes/empty corridors/etc)? They both sleep around in ways that upsets the other and it’s by no means healthy but they don’t keep it secret from each other and their relationship was pretty open to start with so?? Where should the lines be drawn??? 11. Who makes fun of the other for having a crush on them, and who reminds them that they’re in a relationship? Neither - Philippe values that affection too highly and it’s just not Chevy’s style.12. Who starts a food fight? They team up together against some poor unsuspecting noble. Probably bishop Bossuet. 13. Who initiates duets? Who is the better singer? Philippe is probably the better singer but neither of them are really interested in singing.14. Who starts the hand-holding? Usually Philippe Who grabs the butt? BOTH Who slides their arm around the other’s waist? Again both they’re so tactile it’s ridiculous Who puts their fingers in the belt loops? And again both whoops look at all these things they have in common15. Who writes the other’s name on their wrist? Why settle for that when you can make out in the gardens/cuddle and feed each other at expensive dinners16. Who is more seductive when they’re drunk? Who is loudest in bed? Honestly does Chevy even have a non-seductive setting I’m sure he’s only worse-behaved drunk. Also Chevy is very shamelessly the loudest.17. Who is more protective? Chevy is kind of possessive, Philippe is more than kind of charmed by it.18. Who talks to the other while they are sleeping? Neither on purpose, unless maybe they’re really really drunk.19. Who drives and who has the window seat? They take it in turns, but both prefer sitting in the passenger seat and being the most annoying backseat drivers.20. Who falls asleep in the other’s lap and who carries them to bed? They both fall asleep draped across each other on a regular basis. Philippe will (usually) carry Chevy to bed, depending on how far the walk is and how much he wants the sleepy cuddles, but Chevy can’t run down a corridor without wheezing so there is no chance he’s fit enough to carry Philippe any distance without dropping him, which is less than romantic. 21. Who cuts the other’s hair? No????? Have you seen that hair it is a scissors-free zone22. Who is super bad at sexting? Who sends encouraging messages? Well Philippe’s idea of dirty talk is speechifying about how war turns his dick into a baby’s fist so what more evidence do you need. Chevy sends inappropriate messages at inappropriate times but they’re at least kind of encouraging?? 23. Who thinks they aren’t good enough for the other’s love? Neither tbh, though they’re both incredibly reliant on it.Who’s more afraid of losing the other? I think it’s pretty equal but for different reasons? Chevy is one of few people Philippe genuinely loves, and even fewer that he doesn’t see as fake or constantly betraying him. Chevy is mostly unpopular at court - without Philippe he would have no power, no good reputation and very little chance of finding anyone to love him so well. Who thinks they keep messing up and the other tells them not to worry? Again neither, I mean Chevy tried to brush off the whole treason thing in the show.24. Who starts random slow-dancing in the kitchen? Who holds the other just above the ground to kiss them? Chevy though it usually ends up more sexual than romantic because they’re both Terrible. Idk I mean there was that one time Chevy picked Philippe up and threw him on the bed?? But is he strong enough to manage it for much longer than a few seconds? nO25. Who says shitty puns and sex jokes to see the other giggle and blush? BOTH but Chevy is much better at it. Yes this is purely based on the fact that he’s never referred to his dick as a baby’s clenched fist sorry Philippe xoxo26. Who kissed first? Chevy - if you’re going to seduce the heir of the throne you gotta see it all the way through 27. Who orders takeout at 2am? Who wakes the other up at 3am to get them a glass of water because it’s Too Dark downstairs? Both tbh 2am sex is very hungry business. Probably neither but more likely Chevy than Philippe - the Duke of Orleans is a big brave war hero and even if he wasn’t, waking Chevy up at 3am is probably not worth the effort28. Who writes poems/stories and love songs about the other? Do they sing the songs they write for them? My name is Philippe, I am a poet, I wrote this poem just to show it, and I, have a huge war kink and an entire infant in my trousers byE29. Who does some crazy stunt to impress the other and who drives them to the emergency room when it backfires? I mean Philippe is far braver but all I can think of is that one time Chevy went to war and was hit by a grenade and Philippe gave up his carriage for him they’re both so extra 30. Who is embarrassed when they have to wear their glasses and who thinks they look super cute? PHILIPPE I mean Alex has reading glasses so it’s almost canon. Chevy thinks they’re adorable. Also wouldn’t work the other way because you wouldn’t catch Chevy dead in glasses.

#monchevy #ask games #shut up alastair