TWO SIDES OF THE SAME COIN— matt and chris sturniolo x reader
synopsis— you and your friends decide to play a dirty drinking game. but with matt on your left, and chris on your right, how will you ever be able to decide who you want more?
warnings— suggestive themes, drinking, brief suggestive moment with waylon felipe (that man is FIIIIINE) use of a dirty scenario card game, ysb tril and brandon (gwhip) are in this but there’s not really anything suggestive with them (even tho they’re FIIIINE and underrated as fuck), basically the most ooc dumb shit ever, just use your utmost imagination pls lmao
foreword— i got this idea from a card game i own. it’s called kinkies get legless if anyone would like to know. voila!
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why, on god’s green earth, did you agree to this? you knew exactly what you signed up for when nate had organised a party— nothing big, just all your close friends— and revealed a card game for everyone to play.
“if anyone wants to back out now, this is your only chance.” nate chuckled when nick and madi both stepped back. he’d already explained the card game to everyone:
complete the dare written on the card, or skip the dare and take a shot. straightforward, until he gave an example of said cards.
“choose which person in the group you’re most likely to have a wet dream over.”
you laughed, but deep down you knew this was not going to end well.
after all, you were sat between matt and chris. you were close friends with the triplet brothers, but you would be lying if you said you didn’t harbour a crush for the two you were currently sandwiched in between. you’d already admitted these feelings to madi, who gave you the sound advice to choose one.
but it wasn’t that easy, was it? they were both so… great, and yet so different at the same time.
maybe you could use this opportunity to decide.
as it stood, matt was on your left, chris on your right, and waylon, another good friend of yours, directly opposite you.
nate, being the host and also the orchestrator of this hellish game, pulled a card first, and read out loud.
“give the player of the person on your left a lap dance? hell yeah!” nate exclaimed, standing from his seat and giving trilly the most dramatic lap dance of his life. everyone laughed at this, knowing nate would most likely do all of his dares.
before you knew it, it was coming up to your turn. but first, chris had to pull a card.
you prayed to every god you knew that he didn’t pull a card that involved you.
“oh my god, this game is crazy.” chris laughed, before reading out his card, “act out the doggy style position with the person to your left.”
you could die of embarrassment. this was truly a terrible, no good, awful idea. why did you agree to this?
the room was filled with ooh’s and aah’s, waiting to see if chris would take a shot instead of doing the dare. he glanced over at you, as if to say you could choose.
you shrugged nonchalantly, despite the fact you were screaming inside.
“come on, let’s get this over with.” he motioned you over with his hand, and you hesitantly stood.
you felt chris behind you, his hands moving to your waist as he pushed his hips up to yours, though he didn’t move.
immediately you laughed, and everyone else followed.
“this is literally the dumbest thing you’ve ever suggested, nate.” you shouted through everyone’s laughter.
“agreed.” chris sat back down, but not before placing a pillow over his lap.
“but it’s so funny!” nate replied.
it may have been funny, but that didn’t stop you from thinking about chris’ hips pressed up to your ass. you almost wished he moved.
regardless, it was your turn to pull a card.
“choose three… okay, what the fuck.” you covered your mouth, giggling.
“let me see,” matt leaned over to read the card and pulled a face, “choose three players you’d make a sex tape with.”
how could you even begin to answer that? why did you agree to this?
you weren’t going to skip the card, you didn’t want to be the first to do it. so you’d have to answer. and lie.
“i guess if i had to pick, i’d say tril, waylon aaaaaand… this is hard actually…. brandon.” you spoke.
the three boys dapped each other up, which made you chuckle.
“don’t get too excited, it’s never gonna happen.” you teased.
“i guess it’s my turn,” matt piped up, grabbing a card from the deck.
“oh this one’s easy, it says confess the least sexy thing someone has said to you. one time a girl asked me if she could call me nick while we were, you know…” he clicked his mouth and whistled.
“wait, what the fuck?” nick perked up from the other side of the room.
chris cackled loudly, “shit, i remember that. you told me not to tell him.”
“well, did you let her do it?” tril asked jokingly.
“that’s fucking gross! i swear to god matt you better have said no.” nick yelled, which only made chris laugh more.
“obviously i said no, you moron.”
by now, the deck of cards had gone around the room a couple of times.
waylon pulled the card, let the person opposite you sit on your face which you accepted gracefully after successfully sneaking yourself a couple of shots.
at some point you pulled the choose the players you’d most likely have a threesome with card which you chose matt and chris immediately took a shot.
nate had rank the asses of the players from best to worst, and while chris was number one, you were satisfied with your ranking at third— he placed himself second.
already it was back to chris.
“i actually don’t think i can do this one.” chris covered his eyes.
“what does it say?” you asked. you wished you didn’t.
he turned the card over to you. it read, whisper the dirtiest thing you’d do to the player on your left.
“chris, don’t be a pussy, you already skipped the last one.” nate raised his eyebrows.
“dude, i don’t care how close we are, i’m not passing you an ice cube from my mouth.” chris spoke incredulously, which made everyone chuckle, though you were too busy wondering what chris would even say to you.
“new rule, if you skipped your last card you can’t skip the next one.” nate shouted, to which chris flipped him off.
“you good with this?” chris turned to you.
“sure. it’s just a game right?” you pretended to be unfazed.
chris leaned into your ear, as everyone watched.
“if we were alone right now, i’d fill you up so deep that you’d forget how to talk.”
oh.
“what did he say– oh my god, y/n’s face has gone red!”
oh.
“damn chris, you’re looking kinda red too.”
oh.
“okay move on, please.” chris laughed it off.
but you wanted to do anything but move on, partly because you were sweating— is it hot in here?— and partly because it was your turn again.
let the person to your left give you a love bite.
you weren’t sure you could handle this game anymore. you were barely over the words chris had whispered to you, and now you were supposed to let matt give you a hickey?
and to make things worse, because of the new rule (thanks a lot, nate) you couldn’t skip your turn.
“this game is getting intense, i can’t lie.” waylon mumbled to brandon, who agreed with him excitedly.
“sorry matt, i can’t skip.” you said awkwardly.
matt quickly downed a shot, before replying, “don’t worry about it.” and moved his lips to your collarbone.
he made quick work of sucking on your skin while embarrassment waved over you.
there were a million thoughts running through your head at once but the one that stood out most was how good it felt to have matt leaving a trace of his lips on your body. you were acutely aware of the slight pain mixed with the considerable amount of pleasure that came with his bite.
after what seemed like way too long, he soothed your collarbone with a lick and parted ways with it.
“i didn’t know matt had that dog in him.” tril joked.
briefly, everyone had split into their own conversations, leaving you to your own chaotic thoughts.
but matt placed a hand on your thigh.
“you okay?” he asked you, and of course you were not.
“mhm. just didn’t think this game would be so insane.”
matt smirked ever so slightly.
“me neither. are you having fun, at least?”
“yeah, it’s pretty entertaining. are you?” you responded honestly.
matt’s thumb softly caressed your thigh while the rest of his hand squeezed lightly.
“definitely.”
how could you be expected to choose?
yet another around had gone by and it was regrettably your turn to pick a card.
you slowly picked up the card on top of the deck and read the words.
“what does it say?” matt and chris spoke in unison.
you cleared your throat, looking between the two boys on either side, then at everyone else eagerly waiting.
“go into another room with the player of your choice for ten minutes.” you sighed.
“i was hoping someone would get that card. who are you picking, y/n?” nate asked you.
you should skip this round. you should definitely skip this round. but something was telling you that this was your opportunity to finally choose which brother you wanted, just like madi told you.
the choice was too difficult.
but if you were honest, you knew who you really wanted.
so, you went with your gut.
“i pick…”
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a/n this feels so ASS but i love this idea so much so idc. the part two’s for matt and chris will be linked below once they’re written. hope u enjoyed!
p.s PLSSSS follow my tiktok yall 🙏🙏 same username apclyptc ill prob take some requests on there
if you choose matt if you choose chris
© APCYLPTC 2023. do not repost, translate, or duplicate any of my works here or any other websites.
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Teenage Dirtbag III (JJ Maybank x Reader x Rafe Cameron)
Warnings: attempted NON-CON, DUB-CON, abusive relationship, domestic violence, violence (+ gun violence), gun kink, dacryphilia, attempted murder, mentions of blood, public sex, jealousy, manipulation, infidelity, underage drinking, drug use, canon ages, kook!reader
➥ banner by @vase-of-lilies | ➥ divider by @firefly-graphics
➥ series masterlist
summary: You’re charmingly spoiled. You’re too kind for your own good. You’re the princess of Figure 8 …and you’re way out of JJ Maybank’s league, but when he realizes that Rafe Cameron’s pride and joy is actually a bruised and battered damsel, he’s determined to save you.
Your rescue just comes with a price.
~
Your brief conversation with JJ Maybank was still on your mind weeks later.
It was so funny to think that you hadn’t actually done anything wrong in the grand scheme of things, but if Rafe ever found out… The thought made you shudder, gaze focused on the pool water as the man himself laughed behind you with Kelce about something. You’d been doing so good lately. Aside from that awful night after the movies, Rafe hardly touched you.
It was a far cry from three months prior.
You still winced when you thought about his fist coming down across your face, voice loud in your ear as he screamed at you. Weeks had been spent holed up in your bedroom under the guise of being sick, and it was a miracle your parents hadn’t forced you to take some tests with how often you’d been ‘sick’ in the past six months alone. You lightly sighed, reaching up to touch your chin and just relieved it didn’t feel sore anymore.
Thoughts of that conversation with JJ instilled fear in you. Even just thinking about it made you tense up, but at the same time, it also caused irritation to bubble up inside of you. JJ Maybank was just so… You pursed your lips, taking a page out of Rafe’s book and opting to label him as ‘a little shit’. Rafe was so far from some saint, but it was plain to see that JJ enjoyed provoking your boyfriend.
However, it wasn’t JJ’s fault that Rafe took that out on you.
If you had a normal non-violent boyfriend, he’d simply ignore the other blond, or at the worst, he’d just fight him. Not you. How was JJ to know that Rafe’s jealousy would result in black eyes and swollen lips and sore wrists for you? Your eyes traced the clear blue water, a frown taking over as memories of that oh so brief conversation made you feel…warm.
It felt nice to talk to a guy and not have to worry about saying the wrong thing or making a questionable facial expression or just being so alert at all times. With Rafe, you could never relax, could never let your guard down, and you were convinced that you were going to start greying by the time you turned 30. With JJ…you didn’t have to overanalyze everything that came out of his mouth and your mouth too. You hadn’t felt the need to carefully watch his face for any sudden sign of a mood shift.
You honestly couldn’t remember the last time you felt like that.
…and that made you feel so guilty for some reason.
Rafe was your boyfriend. He wasn’t a very good one, but he was your boyfriend nonetheless, and despite the fact that it wasn’t, those few minutes in the hallway felt like…well…cheating. It was insane to say that because it wasn’t anything close to it, but you knew Rafe and what would upset him. You knew, and that’s why you were hiding it from him. It wasn’t like you were lying, but a lie of omission still counted, right?
You were pulled from your thoughts by the feel of familiar hands on your shoulders, causing you to jump out of habit, and Rafe only rubbed them in what you were sure was meant to be a soothing manner. When you looked over your shoulder, he was knelt behind you, that cheeky smile on his lips as he eyed you. Rafe knew the effect he had on you…and you swore he got off to it.
“It’s getting kind of late, so we’re heading inside,” he told you.
Rafe wasn’t telling you to be the considerate boyfriend who’s just letting you know he’s heading in. Rafe was telling you because he was going in and fully expected you to join him. It didn’t matter that you were relaxed with your feet in the water and your mind elsewhere, and so swallowing down a sigh, you let him pull you to your feet. His hand squeezed yours as he pulled you along, and out of habit, you rested your free hand on his arm.
“I think we’re gonna call it a night,” Rafe drawled to the other two men in the house.
Their initial response was chuckles, Topper eyeing you both as Kelce shook his head.
“Yeah, whatever you say, man, just wash my sheets in the morning, alright?”
Kelce’s chuckles only increased at that, and you felt heat rise to your face.
“Don’t be dicks,” your boyfriend called over his shoulder, and despite his words and his tone, there was a small grin on his face, and you only felt your chest ache.
Sex with Rafe was so complicated.
He absolutely terrified you, and so that didn’t make for the most comfortable of atmospheres whenever his lips were on yours. However, something innate in your body—call it animal instinct, conditioning, or merely self-preservation—reacted to him in ways you weren’t necessarily proud of whenever he got his hands on you.
…and Rafe always wanted to get his hands on you.
Rafe liked your fear, you didn’t need to be a mind reader to know that, and you were sure he liked the sight of bruises on your skin even more. He liked seeing his mark, and no matter how temporary, you felt that it served as some brand to him. You recalled reading once that cattle weren’t branded to be considered a part of something but instead to show where they needed to be returned to if they got lost. Something had twisted deep in your gut at that.
…because you knew that if Rafe could, he’d brand you for all to see.
Brand you to show the world where you needed to be returned.
After your quick joint shower, Rafe wrapped the large towel around you both, holding you close as he walked you into the guest bedroom. You could briefly hear Kelce and Topper talking downstairs, making drinks no doubt as Rafe shut the door behind you. When his fingers danced along your sides, you couldn’t swallow down the startled giggle, involuntarily pressing yourself against the blond to get away from them.
“You’ve been so quiet all day,” he murmured, pressing his face into your neck as he tightened his arms around you.
Blinking, you weighed your response.
“I’ve just been in my head, I guess.”
Rafe was quiet for a moment before humming, and you both felt and heard him take a deep breath.
“You’ve been in your head for weeks then.”
You froze at that, it was only for half a second, but you were sure Rafe caught it. You didn’t like that your internal conflict was noticeable, and when you tried to pull away, Rafe only refused to let you go.
“What’s going on with you?”
The question came out whispered and gentle…but you knew better.
“Just…things. Family stuff mostly.”
The lie came easy, and you let your eyes close, telling yourself that this was no longer a lie of omission, but how could you tell Rafe that you’d been thinking about JJ Maybank? How could you tell him that you’d been lingering on a single interaction that made you feel miles better than the last year and a half of your relationship?
JJ had talked to you like a friend…like an equal, and you’d forgotten what that was like.
Everyone saw you as an extension of Rafe. His dad, his friends, and even your own parents sometimes. They were always wondering where Rafe was and what Rafe was up to, and you didn’t blame them. After all, in their eyes, Rafe was perfect. Your boyfriend was a dream come true as far as future sons-in-law went, and as far as they knew, Rafe treated you like a princess.
In their eyes, this was the man who rarely let you drive your own car because he’d rather chauffeur you around. Rafe was the boyfriend who was always bringing their daughter gifts and flowers and popping in to check on the whole family. They swooned at how often Rafe called you throughout the day when he was otherwise occupied. Rafe was more than deserving of you.
On the other side of things though…
Rafe drove you around so he’d know firsthand where you were, how long you’d be, and when you were leaving. He wanted complete control over your mobility. So many of those flowers and gifts were only given to you after a particularly nasty fight that resulted in a bleeding lip or bruised back. Rafe popped in to check on everyone…but also to make sure you were exactly where you said you were. He constantly called for the same reason.
To your parents he was a dream and to you…a nightmare.
“What family stuff?” Rafe scoffed, pulling you against him and nipping at your neck. “I don’t think I’ve even seen your parents argue.”
He laughed to himself about that, but you only pressed your lips together because you knew what was coming.
“Your family’s perfect.”
He murmured it against your skin, but the bitterness was heard loud and clear.
Rafe playfully threw you onto the bed, quickly joining you and settling himself on top of you. He pressed his lips against yours, humming into the kiss, and you sharply inhaled when you could feel him hard and throbbing against your thigh. When you shifted your leg, Rafe groaned.
“Whatever it is, it can’t be that bad,” he whispered, kissing you again. “…and if it is…”
He adjusted himself, resting his forearms into the mattress beside your head. Rafe completely caged you in as he gazed into your eyes, running them over you and pulling his lip between his teeth. The tips of his fingers grazed the side of your face, and you swallowed.
“It’s nothing I can’t help you forget, right?”
He held your gaze, gently brushing his nose against yours, and reminding yourself that he wanted an answer, you nodded.
“Right,” you breathed.
You kissed him back when his lips pressed to yours again, and on instinct, you rested your hands on his lower back. His hips curved into yours, the tip of him brushing against you and making you sharply inhale. You felt Rafe smile into the kiss, and his lips traveled from your lips to your jaw and then eventually your neck. When Rafe nipped at the skin, you reached up to run your fingers through his hair.
Rafe was eager to be inside of you, and it was evident in the way he reached down between your legs, fingers rushing to brush over you. Your breath hitched at the feel, and you lifted your hips when he started to dip them into you. His lips were at your ear as he thrust his fingers into you, and your hips lifted again.
“You’re so tight, you know that?” he breathed, and you parted your legs more.
You were so afraid of Rafe, so afraid of him, but once he got his hands on you like this, he typically wasn’t hurting you. It’d been months since the last time he got angry enough to hold you down and force himself on you. In these moments though, you didn’t have to watch your every comment and observe his every move. When Rafe was kissing you and pushing his cock into you, it was one of the few times you could just be and not have to worry about setting him off.
“Fuck, you feel so good,” he groaned into your mouth, hips snapping against yours.
With every surge of them, you gasped, clinging to him in more ways than one as you arched your chest up into his. His hair was still damp from the shower, and you twisted your fingers into the wet locks. His teeth scraped over your skin and a low moan climbed out of his throat when you wrapped your legs around his waist.
The bed jostled from his movements, and when he snaked his arms around your waist, you reached down to hold onto them. The force in which he thrust into you was almost painful, but you were used to it, and it was something you’d grown to expect…welcome even. You had to if you wanted any semblance of happiness in this relationship—any brief moments of joy.
When Rafe pushed himself up to hover over you, your hands slid up his chest, and when his nose touched yours, you knew what he wanted. Lifting your head, you kissed him, and Rafe was ravenous in returning it. Every curve of his hips made your toes curl, and your nails clawed at the sheets when he fisted his hand into the hair at the nape of your neck.
He cursed into the kiss, and as the sound of skin slapping against skin filled the room, your other hand pressed into his back, nails dragging along his skin. You knew it was nothing at all, but leaving your own mark or two made you feel just a little bit better. You came first, but Rafe fucked you through it, continuing to plunge his cock into you and making your legs shake.
The closer Rafe got, the sloppier his thrusts became…and the more forceful he became. When he wrapped a hand around your wrist, you didn’t protest, accepting the feel of him pinning your arm down against the bed. His free hand roughly dug into your hips and then your thigh—painfully so—and you could only half hiss and half moan in response. His hips slammed down against yours, and when Rafe came inside of you, he stilled against you, completely pinning you beneath him.
Despite the fact that you were on birth control, you never not had a brief moment of panic.
“I just like feeling all of you,” Rafe had said over a year ago. “…and neither one of us are sleeping with anyone else…right…?”
The thought of getting pregnant scared you probably more than anything. Despite the fact that you’d accepted your fate and the future that was your relationship with Rafe, getting pregnant by him seemed so final. It would be the final nail in the coffin, and the last thing you needed in your relationship with Rafe. You knew it would happen eventually, but something in you desperately hoped that Rafe would just be a little better. Even just a little.
You couldn’t imagine bringing a child into this world just to be abused.
When your boyfriend rolled off of you, he pulled you with him, resting your head on his heaving chest as you kept your gaze on the wall. Rafe’s fingers gently trailed up and down your back, and you’d just closed your eyes to try and find sleep when he spoke.
“You know that I love you…right?”
It felt out of place, and you frowned slightly but eventually nodded.
“I know,” you whispered back.
You felt his hand trace patterns up your back, fingers dancing along your skin before his hand curved around the back of your neck.
“I know that I hurt you sometimes,” he murmured, making you swallow. “…but… It doesn’t mean that I don’t…”
He trailed off, his words dying in the air, and your eyes watered as you stared at the wall.
“I know, Rafe.”
When his hand landed on your cheek, you lifted your head, looking up at him. He studied your face, blue eyes flickering between your own, and you watched the way his tongue darted between his lips.
“You know how I get sometimes.”
“Rafe, I know,” you hurried to reassure him, reaching for his arm. “I get it, okay?”
You were sitting up, now, looking down at him, and you watched him lick his lips again. His hand took yours, threading your fingers together, and you felt compelled to hold eye contact. Rafe slowly took a deep breath, and you watched his eyes narrow.
“I just don’t want you to ever think you don’t mean anything to me,” he quietly told you. “…because you do. You’re my world.”
His hand tightened on yours, almost painfully, and you swallowed. His blue gaze looked so lifeless—glazed over—and you swallowed again.
“If you left, you may as well have just…died.”
You eventually nodded when he held your gaze for a few moments more, and when he pulled you back down, he gave you a sweet kiss, hand resting on the back of your head when you laid down on his chest again. Your gaze didn’t leave the wall when he reached over to turn out the lamp.
You were waiting on Rafe’s order when you saw him again.
You felt a sense of déjà vu when he walked into The Wreck, blue eyes meeting yours and a small smile thrown your way. Only the last time this same scenario had played out, you’d smiled back, and Rafe had put a gun in your mouth for it. You shuddered to remember that day, and you turned away from JJ without another thought.
You were unsurprised—but disappointed—when he saddled up next to you.
“In some places—and I’m pretty sure Outer Banks is one of them—that’s considered rude.”
You only spared the blond a brief glance, sighing.
“I don’t know what you mean,” you lied.
You heard him snort to himself, silence stretching between you for a moment before he eventually spoke again.
“Where’s your asshole boyfriend?”
You couldn’t help yourself, throwing him a scathing look at that, but the only response you got was a wider grin and one raised eyebrow. Ward had called Rafe the moment he parked, and signaling to you that it would take a minute, he’d waved you on ahead to get the food. That was what you told JJ, and you heard him whistle.
“He let you get it all by yourself? Wow, he’s really stepping up.”
His tone was light and mocking, but you merely fixed him with an unamused look.
It was only then did you realize just how close he was, and you couldn’t help but to swallow at his close proximity. Without thinking much of it, you inhaled and almost immediately regretted it. Rafe and all of his friends smelt so…sharp. They smelled like cologne and laundry detergent and the freshly cut manicured grass on the country club golf course. It was a scent you’d grown up around, a scent you were accustomed to.
JJ just smelled like fresh air.
The blond before you reminded you of the salt water at the beach and the woodsy scent of trees and fresh rain. JJ smelled warm and light, and it was a smell that made you want to just…relax. Realizing that your thoughts were heading into dangerous territory—again—you slightly moved away from him. He noticed.
“Jesus, you’d think it was you I fought on the beach.”
“What are you doing here?” you finally asked him, still staring straight ahead as you waited for your order.
“Well, not only is this place owned by my best friend’s family…” you nodded at that, having actually forgotten that. “…but like you, I also like to eat.”
You rolled your eyes, and you heard JJ chuckle to himself. You tapped your fingers against the counter, feeling his gaze on you no matter how much you ignored it. Rafe sounded irritated almost as soon as he answered the phone, so there was no doubt in your mind that he was going back and forth with Ward about something. For just a brief moment, you wished he was here just so you had a better excuse to ignore the man at your side.
“Rafe’s not here, you know,” he eventually said. “You don’t have to pretend like I don’t exist.”
“Clearly you don’t know my boyfriend as well as you’d like to think you do then,” you snorted. “…because I absolutely do.”
You were relieved when Mrs. Carrera brought out your food, and you felt it was obvious in the way your shoulders sagged. You thanked her, thinking to yourself that you couldn’t get away from JJ fast enough, stepping away just as Rafe stepped inside. Your heart only stuttered a little at the sight of him, but you covered it up with a smile.
“You ready to go?” you asked him, frowning a bit when he pecked you on the lips and proceeded to move past you.
“I want to get a drink,” he told you over his shoulder.
You watched him lean against the counter next to JJ as he talked to the other woman, and you couldn’t stop yourself from eyeing them—comparing them. Something about the sight of them together rubbed you the wrong way, and maybe it was because the last time they were in such close proximity it had ended in a brawl.
Or maybe it was because you’d talked to JJ when you knew you shouldn’t.
You watched JJ say something to your boyfriend, and Rafe’s smirk in response didn’t ease your worries. His arms were folded over the counter, and he turned his head ever so slightly to look at the other blond out of the corner of his eye. He said something—evidently something rude by the way JJ tensed—and to your disappointment, you watched Rafe pull a dollar out of his pocket before flicking it at JJ just as Mrs. Carrera returned with his drink.
“For your troubles, JJ,” you heard him say, a cruel grin on his lips. “Don’t go spending that all at once, now.”
You couldn’t stop your frown, but as Rafe neared you, something else caught your eye instead.
JJ was leaning over the counter, pointing at something towards the kitchen while Mrs. Carrera seemed to sigh in exasperation. His white t-shirt rode up a bit, and your gaze lingered on the discoloration on his side. The sight of it made your lips part, and your frown deepened the longer you stared at it. The sight of it was so familiar to you, and despite the fact that you knew Sarah’s friends didn’t lead the safest lifestyle, something in you wouldn’t let you believe that came from some dirt bike accident.
It was too perfect, too precise of a bruise…and you would know better than anyone.
When Rafe grabbed your hand, pulling you out of the restaurant, you forced yourself to pull your eyes away.
You didn’t want a repeat of the aftermath of the conversation in the hall, so the days that followed were spent trying to be as normal and as present as possible. However, you couldn’t stop your mind from drifting to the sight of JJ’s skin at The Wreck. It wouldn’t leave you, and you didn’t need to be some professional psychiatrist to figure out why.
You didn’t know much about his home life, only that his dad kind of sucked from what you’d gathered from Sarah and Rafe and Rafe’s friends. However, you never had the desire to understand what that meant in full. Now, though… You couldn’t help wondering if it encompassed something more horrific than you’d imagined.
There were times when you wanted to ask Sarah about it, but it felt weird. JJ wasn’t your friend, wasn’t even close, so you didn’t think you had a right to his personal life. Especially something so deeply personal, and even weirder, you and Sarah weren’t friends. It just felt strange to go to her about something that didn’t involve you nor her but instead her friend who you were supposed to have no kind of interactions or connections with.
It was especially present on your mind when Sarah’s friends were in the house one day. You’d been in the kitchen when you heard the van pull into the yard, and you’d only smiled in response when Sarah and her friends greeted you.
“Is Rafe here?” she asked you while they all made their way towards the backyard. “John B. can’t find his Juul and now I’m positive that was what I saw Rafe tossing in the trash the other day.”
You frowned at her with a shake of your head.
“He’s running some errand for Ward, but he should be back any minute.”
The blonde girl huffed, mumbling a dejected thanks before making her way to the backyard. You couldn’t stop yourself from staring after them, debating with yourself before thinking better of it. As you made your way towards the stairs, your gaze passed over JJ who stood near the backdoor, his gaze already on you as you climbed the stairs. Ignoring him, you made yourself comfortable in Rafe’s room.
Sure enough, as you’d told Sarah, you heard the distinct sound of Rafe’s truck pulling into the yard not even an hour later. You paid it no mind, focused on your laptop screen as you finished up some lingering homework due in a few days. Distinctly, you could hear Sarah talking to Rafe as she made her annoyance with him clear, but aside from the brief penetration into your bubble, you didn’t give it any more thought.
You were so focused that you couldn’t even really note how long Rafe had been downstairs before finally joining you. You heard the bedroom door open and close, and you briefly glanced at him over your shoulder.
“How’d it go?” you asked him, eyes preoccupied once again.
Your boyfriend didn’t answer right away, but when he did, he was much closer than you anticipated. You hadn’t heard him move.
“Fine enough,” was his simple answer, and you only hummed when you felt his fingers kneading into your shoulders.
You both felt and heard him pull away, and you were forced from your own thoughts when the sound of music reached your ears from his speakers, familiar with Rafe’s Apple Music playlist. Frowning, you turned to look at him, feeling like your efforts to study were pretty obvious. However, your face fell a tad as your gaze connected with his.
Rafe leaned against his dresser, even gaze resting on you as he simply…stared. Nothing about his expression was readable, and that was your first clue that something was very very wrong. Telling yourself that it could wait, you closed your laptop, scooting to fully face him on the bed. His hands were pressed into the wood, and your boyfriend was so still as you two just stared at each other.
“What?” you finally asked, and despite the music, it wasn’t too loud enough to where he couldn’t hear you.
Again, Rafe remained quiet, but you knew that he heard you so your frown only deepened. Moving until your feet were touching the floor, you stared up at him, and even with no words being spoken, you felt something uneasy festering deep within your gut. It had been some months since you and Rafe had one of your big fights, but you knew the signs all too well, and your heart sank when he took a deep breath.
“You apologized to JJ on my behalf?”
You heard a ringing in your ears for a few seconds as his words lingered in the air, and no matter how much you wanted to, you couldn’t look away from him. In this moment, you felt like prey, and you felt like it would be the stupidest thing in the world to take your eyes off of the man before you. Your lips parted as you struggled with what to say, and you eventually snapped them shut, struggling to find a way to talk your way out of this.
“I…”
“I already know the truth,” Rafe told you, tilting his head to the side. “I just want to hear it from you.”
Swallowing, you took a deep breath.
“I…felt bad,” you slowly told him, and you watched Rafe nod.
“You felt bad,” he repeated, pressing his tongue to his teeth and the inside of his cheek.
“Rafe-.”
“When did this conversation even happen?” he interrupted, frowning now. “I’m trying to understand when you and JJ Maybank have ever been around each other long enough to have a conversation where you’re apologizing to him for me.”
“Rafe, it lasted a minute at the most,” you quietly argued.
“Was this at The Wreck?”
You knew he was referring to days ago, and your mind ran rampant, trying to figure out if it was better to lie or not. You were already caught in a lie somewhat, and you really didn’t want to make this worse. You were pulled from your thoughts by the sound of Rafe’s bitter laugh, and when you looked at him again, you could see that he was studying your face.
“Don’t think you can sit here and lie to me. When did this happen?” he repeated.
Exhaling, you blinked back tears.
“It was a few weeks ago,” you whispered, and you watched Rafe nod. “Sarah and her friends were going to the beach. JJ was in the bathroom, and I just ran into him in the hallway.”
When Rafe didn’t react, you continued, heart racing.
“Rafe, I just felt bad, that was all. I saw his face, and I felt bad, okay?”
Rafe leaned in a bit, hands and lower back still pressed against his dresser.
“Felt bad for what?” he spat, visage finally cracking. “He was the one bothering us, and I gave him what he was looking for.”
When you opened your mouth, Rafe cut you off.
“…and to make matters worse, you lied to me.”
Your brows furrowed at that, and you didn’t miss the way Rafe’s nostrils flared.
“Family bullshit, my ass. You knew you were wrong,” he threw at you, pointing at you. “See, you think I don’t know you…but I know you like the back of my hand.”
You lowered your gaze, unable to look him in the eye when he got like this.
“I knew something was wrong, and you lied to my face.”
You weren’t able to keep your tears from spilling over, and you wiped your face, looking up at him again. Your lips trembled while Rafe stared you down, and you were very aware of your throat and how tight it felt in this moment. You whispered his name, trying to get him to see that you hadn’t meant anything by it.
“I just felt bad,” you slowly told him again, voice quiet.
You wiped your face again, but fresh tears just replaced those, and Rafe studied the action. He leaned back some, looking down his nose at you, dirty blond hair curtained along his forehead. There was nothing warm or comforting about his gaze, malice stewing there as the corner of his lips curved upwards just a tad.
“Why are you crying?” he calmly asked. “I haven’t even touched you yet.”
With a shaky breath, you pushed yourself to your feet, but Rafe had closed the distance in the same amount of time. You leaned away from him, a pleading look in your gaze.
“Do you…? Wh-what do you want me to say to him? How can I fix this?”
“Do you think I want you talking to him again? Do you really think that’s going to make me feel better, right now?”
You reached up to keep some distance between you two, but Rafe slapped your hands away. Your face was next, the action happening so fast that you only had time to gasp. You’d just touched your cheek when his hands were digging into your upper arms, violently shaking you.
“I just might do something a little impulsive if I saw you talking to him, right now, so trust me, you don’t want that,” he sneered.
“Rafe,” you gasped, grabbing one of his arms.
He only responded by grabbing that wrist, squeezing it and twisting it until you were forced to try and get him to let go. His face was so close to yours, nose brushing your cheek as his lip curled over your teeth.
“Do you know what that was like for me?” he wondered, forcing you back until you were cornered against the wall. “To have that Pogue throw it in my face that my own girlfriend went behind my back and apologized for what I did to him? For what he brought on himself?”
You pushed against his chest with your free hand, and Rafe only shoved you back, making you wince.
“I mean, have you lost your mind?” he wondered, fingers coming up to touch the side of his head. “Were you just thinking ‘God, what can I do to really piss Rafe off’?”
You were full on sobbing, now as you tried to push him away.
“Wait, no, you…you were thinking that I wouldn’t find out,” he chuckled, and you got no warning before he threw you to the floor.
Your sore wrist made it hard to push yourself up, and Rafe let his impatience show.
“Get up,” he barked at you. “Get the fuck up.”
Deciding he didn’t feel like waiting for you to do that, Rafe pulled you up by your hair, forcing you to cry out as you reached up to grab his hand. Your back was forced to arch as you tried your best to lean away from him, and when he shoved you into his dresser, a choked sound escaped you as pain flared in your stomach.
Rafe seemed to anticipate your next move the moment you took a step forward.
“Where are you going, huh?” he drawled, yanking you back.
“I’m sorry,” you screamed at him, trying to pull his arms off of you.
“No, you’re not,” he frowned at you, pressing a thumb against your throat. “You’re just sorry I found out.”
You pushed at his face, and your boyfriend retaliated by pushing at yours, forcing you to stumble and fall back, the wall barely serving to catch you. In a panic, you turned and ran into his bathroom, just narrowly shutting and locking the door the same time Rafe’s fists hit against it. He hit it again, harder this time, and you flinched, stepping back.
“Open this door,” you heard him say, breathing labored.
He kicked at it when you didn’t, and you tearfully stared at it with wide eyes.
“Baby,” he slowly said. “You do not want me to kick it down. I can promise you you won’t like it.”
Wrapping your arms around yourself, you looked around. You were at a loss, mind going a mile a minute as he told you to open the door again, and more tears just kept falling. You could feel yourself overheating, and all those moments where you anticipated his next move or tried to anticipate the best move for you became worthless. This wasn’t a conversation where you were trying to prevent the violent outcome.
The violent outcome was here.
Pushing yourself against the door was in vain, because with a few more harsh kicks, it was forced open, and you were forced to the floor. Your hands shook as you fought against Rafe’s, trying to keep them off of you, but when they wrapped around your neck, breathing became your first priority. He briefly raised your head before slamming it back down, and you felt no relief when his hands let you go because you immediately saw him reach for his pants.
Even with a tilting vision and confused mind, his intent was clear.
However, a harsh knock on his room door startled you both. With a struggle, you reached up to touch your head just as Rafe’s eyes met yours. You tearfully blinked at him, wondering what he planned to do, when another knock followed the first, their fist banging on the door, and with a huff, Rafe got off of you. You licked your lips, unsurprised by the taste of blood.
You heard Rafe open his door.
“What the hell are you doing up here?” Sarah aggressively questioned. “We can hear you banging all the way out in the yard.”
You closed your eyes as you realized that Rafe’s music hadn’t been loud enough, and with an inflamed face and aching stomach, you turned on your side. A small groan left you when you wrapped your arms around your lower half, throat starting to hurt too.
“I was just trying to move my dresser around,” you heard Rafe rudely tell her. “Didn’t mean to disturb her royal highness.”
You didn’t see Sarah’s response, but knowing the younger girl, she probably rolled her eyes.
“Whatever. Where’s Y/N?”
“She’s in the bathroom.”
Rafe’s response was immediate.
“Just keep it down. Never mind how annoying it is, but Y/N told me earlier she had some studying to do. We all know you don’t care about that, but…”
The rest of Sarah’s words were lost to you as Rafe slammed the door in her face. One of your hands came up to cover your own face as you sobbed into it, lip still bleeding from where your teeth had cut into the skin. You could hear Rafe’s footsteps as he approached the bathroom, and you were relieved when he didn’t enter, just opting to stand in the doorway.
You could feel his eyes on you, but you didn’t dare look. The thought of what almost happened—and what no doubt would later on—just made you cry harder, and Rafe’s heated sigh reached your ears.
“When you’re soaking in the bathtub tonight,” he slowly began, tone smug. “I want you to remember whose fault this is.”
…and as crazy as it seemed, you couldn’t determine if he meant you…or JJ.
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