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akuvvv9 · 6 months

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no bc i am CONVINCED something happened between Mike and Will between season 2 and season 3 and here’s why.

The first scene we see of them together is on the movie date at the cinema. (Also, why show Mike noticing something is up with Will in the first place? Will doesn’t even confide in him about what he’s feeling, so why? It’s unnecessary unless they want to show us something about Mike and Will. And if it’s to show Will’s feelings for Mike through lip glances, WHAT ABOUT MIKE???)

Mike looks at Will’s lips while asking if he’s okay, meaning he had been already looking at him since Will hadn’t made any noise or drawn any attention to himself before Mike talks to him. There are many many many scenes of Mike looking at Will’s lips to the point that it’s a meme.

But then, look at Will. We all know Will is in love with Mike, has been for a while he just didn’t fully realize it until some time between season 2 and season 3, and didn’t accept it until some time between season 3 and season 4 (just in my opinion, this is flexible based off of your own perspectives and understandings). Either way, he has always been more discreet, looking when Mike isn’t looking at him in contrast to how Mike checks Will out both when he is and isn’t taking notice.

(Another thought, if we were supposed to pick up on the fact that Will is gay by the fact that he wears shorts shorts, BARELY EVER checks Mike out, is told “it’s not my fault you like girls,” and has been bullied for being queer, what does this say about Mike? Sure, he doesn’t wear short shorts, he wasn’t bullied for being queer except in regards to Will’s queerness, THEN it was always directed towards Mike, and Mike is always checking Will out and I’m gonna keep saying that because people are blind, and the fact that he even said that to Will in their rain fight was so out of nowhere like…what have you been thinking about when you’re alone? Huh? (i know what you are Michael Wheeler.) Then what? The only difference between the two is that Mike has a girlfriend, who he can’t even tell he loves to her face. Just saying. And I know Mike is queer coded in a different way than Will, but he also has all that proof I listed above and probably more. Moving on lol…)

Here’s some of Will looking at Mike in the arcade in S2E1 and in the grocery store in the fruit section S3E7. I don’t need to show examples for Mike because I’m sure we can all think of a bunch off the top of our heads. Will is a little harder to catch though.

Even in season 4 when we all KNOW Will has feelings for Mike, his glances are more discreet, we just see it more often because we are supposed to be aware he’s in love with Mike. So why, just why, does Will glance at Mike’s lips TWICE in the cinema. He knows Mike can see him because they’re talking, Mike is facing him, looking at him because he’s worried and is checking up on him. You could argue it’s because it’s dark, but their faces are illuminated by the screen, so it’s still a bold move on Will’s part. He knows Mike is looking at him and makes the decision to look at his lips twice when he’s usually so good at looking only when Mike can’t notice he is because he already has the subconscious feeling that he is in love with Mike, and that it should be a secret. Especially with what he’s always been bullied for by both his own dad and people at school. He’s learned to hide, which is funny because we all know how good at hiding Will is.

Mike on the other hand, bitch has been checking Will out since the very beginning. When Will tells Mike the roll was a 7, Mike just stares at him. He doesn’t even give a proper response, which is out of character for him. If it were Lucas or Dustin (who wouldn’t of told him the truth in the first place), he would have said something, like actually anything. But with Will, he doesn’t. He just stares at him.

We also know Mike & Will have a deep understanding of each other where they don’t need words to communicate. They finish each other sentences a lot, and in the 7 scene, when Will says, “it was a 7,” Mike furrows his brow. Will knows he’s asking a question without needing any verbal response, so he answers. And even then Mike doesn’t answer, just stares and watches as Will bikes away. (Kinna LGBTQ if you ask me).

Their ability to converse silently with little looks only adds onto the fact that Will thought he was picking up on something after season 2. He doesn’t need to be explicitly told by anybody that Mike is starting to realize things about himself and his feelings for Will because nonverbal communication is what the two have always been best at.

Back to the cinema date, it’s not weird for Mike to be checking Will out because he’s always been doing it. It’s also pretty brief in the movie theater, like he’s doing it with no thought behind it because it’s what he’s always done, so what’s the harm?

Now, for Will, he not only lip glances twice but it’s a longer gaze. A little linger. There is clearly something between them that only Will is reacting to because Mike is preoccupied trying to act straight with El. Maybe some hope that he could be grasping onto something between them.

Later, Will tells his mom he isn’t gonna fall in love. He doesn’t scowl or have a disgusted tone compared to when he saw proof of Jonathan and Nancy’s love. He probably believes that he’s not gonna fall in love, or get reciprocated love, for many reasons. He’s realizing he’s gay, he’s realizing Mike is special to him, he’s realizing that he is also special to Mike, but he says he won’t fall in love because even if he does, even if he’s realizing he’s also special to Mike, Mike can’t love him back because he has El.

Which is why I believe something happened between them some time between season 2 and season 3. It’s clear that El can’t hang out with the party with the way it’s established how she has a curfew and how Mike reacts to her being at the mall with Max.

Also, Dustin was away at summer camp for a month. This means Mike and Will were left alone with the other canon couple in the party, Lucas and Max. Mike and Will spent a lot of time together, and probably picked up on a lot of signs they were attracted to each other.

The differences between how they reacted to that are hidden between their families. Despite being bullied for being queer, Will has Jonathan who is seen supporting Will and his “freakness”. However, Mike doesn’t have anyone like that. He’s probably never seen his parents be in love. The difference between him and Nancy is that Mike is a boy who likes a boy and Nancy is a girl who likes a boy. So Mike hides in his girlfriend to avoid the feelings he knows he has for his best friend.

Anyway, the reason why Will decidedly looks at Mike’s lips when he knows he’s looking, why he lingers and does it twice, is because that he felt okay doing this action for once since Mike did something to make him feel like he could.

Then later, on S3E3, we get the Byler rain fight scene. At first, it really is all about their friendship and how Will feels left behind. But after Mike says, “It’s not my fault you like girls,” the gears shift in Will’s head. We then focus a lot on his face. He doesn’t say anything, meaning we are supposed to be reading something just from his expression. He looks hurt, for obvious reasons, but also like he wants to say something back but he can’t. And it’s noticeable how quiet he is after Mike says that in comparison to how much he was talking before. He thought Mike and him had something that summer, that those lip glances and nonverbal signs and cues meant something, but then it all comes crumbling down once Mike says those words. Will wants to say something, maybe about how he thought he had a chance, how Mike made him think he did, (or maybe even “What the fuck, Mike!?” because…wtf Mike,) but then he realized he didn’t.

This is further backed by what Will says in response to Mike talking about them playing games in his basement forever. “Yeah. I guess I did. I really did.” Because he really thought there was the possibility of that, thought he was picking up on something, but Mike’s words made him realize he didn’t. He was just projecting his own romantic feelings onto the scenario. He’s upset at Mike and himself for being so stupid, stupid for different reason though.

Only fools rush in, and in this moment, Will believes he is the biggest fool of them all.

SOMETHING HAPPENED BETWEEN WILL AND MIKE EARLIER THAT SUMMER AND I KNOW IT.

or maybe i’m delusional because it’s 2am

#byler #stranger things #will byers #mike wheeler #byler proof #byler theory #byler analysis

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thisvegetabledoesntfallinlove · 2 years

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having aromantic feelings in this denny’s tonight bc i had to go on a blocking spree yet again.

I just think like... people don’t know shit about what it’s like to be aromantic. aphobes complain about the Fandomization Of Pride and say shit like “asexuality is basically a fandom thing; if your community is entirely online and based around tumblr tags and headcanons, you cant possibly compare it to actual real life gay experiences”

and like. i have some bad fucking news for you about gay people who live in super homophobic backwater small towns. I’ve known plenty of gay people who were completely closeted irl and whos entire interaction with queerness was online communities, especially gay shipping. that doesn’t mean there aren’t other gay people in those homophobic little towns, its just often too dangerous to look for them. there are definitely other aro people in my backwater little town! I just can’t find them. I’m not saying this is the best way to interact with the queer community! or even a good way! for instance, nobody gives a shit about gay vs aro or bi vs pan irl! this drama is all internet shit! but being terminally online is certainly not a problem unique to aspec people.

honestly, as someone who’s trans, bisexual and aromantic, the thing that’s actually made my life the most difficult for cishets to swallow is the aromantic part. my backwater town is fairly liberal, so they can be chill about the gay thing, they can even tolerate the trans thing, but not getting married???? what do you mean you can’t be like the sweater-wearing chaste gay dads in the commercials? what do you mean you don’t want to date but you still want to have sex???????

nothing about my identity is palatable. nothing about me is relatable or marketable. my life, my future, my happiness, looks completely alien to your average cishet. the first time I told someone irl that I was aromantic, the immediate reaction was “oh my god I’m so sorry” as if I just said I had cancer.

like. actually. yknow what. yeah I think the aromantic experience is very easy to compare to my experience as a disabled person. its because I’m fundamentally missing something that Typical People consider completely intrinsically tied to their worth and their happiness. what’s the point of life if you can’t get married? whats the point of life if you can’t have a job? “i’m so sorry to hear you’ll never experience the be all end all of human existence; retiring to live comfortably with your aging partner as your grown children take up the mantle of your legacy.”

people don’t know what its like to be aromantic. they think of it as a tumblr tag, or headcanons, because the only time they bother to interact with aromanticism is when they’re complaining about our headcanons. no one can deny that aspec identity in this decade is intrinsically connected to the internet, in the same way that no one can say that gay identity in 1970s and 80s america wasn’t intrinsically connected to gay bars. its because That’s How You Meet People. queer people have always taken whatever was the current way for humans to connect to each other and carved out their own space.

aromanticism is in the stage where its hard to find other people, and no one knows what you are, and if you explain it to them they think you’re sick. we’re in the stage where we don’t get a lot of explicit canon representation, we have to scrape by on aro readings and subtext and coding.

and it IS coding! its coding! I don’t care if aromanticism wasn’t named yet back then! there are plenty of instances of queer coding from before we had words like “trans” or “gay” or “lesbian” or even “queer.” what matters is that someone somewhere was like “this character has the experience of not feeling the socially mandated attraction to the opposite binary gender,” which is a queer experience whether the person feeling it is gay or aromantic. just like bisexuality and lesbianism weren’t separated for a long time because straight society didn’t care if the wlw could also technically like men, lesbianism and aromanticism and asexuality weren’t separated because straight society didn’t care if the woman who wouldn’t get married to a man wanted to kiss girls or not.

this is way longer than I intended it to be and it got kinda rambly and train-of-thought, and I don’t think I really have any particular conclusion here. just aro feelings. idk if this makes sense but I’m tired of trying to edit it to make more sense so I’m just hitting post

#actually aromantic #actually aro #aromanticism #alloaro #actually autistic #aspec #aphobia mention #queer #queerness #long post

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codename-adler · 25 days

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is there any reason why Dan specifically? a lot of the foxes have dad issues, but Dan doesn't show any signs of trying to seek out anything romantic from older men becuz of that. if it were any fox, i feel like it'd be more likely to be Andrew? idk how old Roland is but we know he was older than Andrew, and he's a position of authority just like Wymack. I don't WANT it to be Andrew. I just feel like if it had to be someone, its him, yknow?

hmm not sure how to answer this.

i just transposed my experience onto her, as a hc, for shits & giggles. i never said i based myself on canon? was just vibing.

if i did have to justify it, i’d say the EC kind of could point that way, if you really wanted it to be as close to canon as possible? but i’d don’t! cause it’s just for fun! and not that serious!

as for the Andrew thing, um, i feel like i gotta say something. just as nothing in canon points to Danielle having lingering daddy issues / seeking much older male validation because of her past, neither does Andrew. Roland is what? a few years older, max? legally an adult (which is still BAD, in case i wasn't clear......), but not the way Wymack is, a fully grown man in his forties/fifties. he’s not a dad’s age. no dad potential whatsoever. Roland & Andrew is different than the possibility of Andrew seeking out Wymack. you have to know that. it's not the same at all.

the reason Andrew sought out Roland was not specifically bc of his age, but bc Andrew could be in control and Roland would follow his rules, for the most part. when he would not, Andrew could tie him up, and Roland would let him. if there was an age-related reason, it’d be that Roland is a mature, consenting adult in full possession of his independence. Andrew would be inclined to see that as good (for Roland). Andrew would not consider this as also bad (for himself). Roland has no authority at all over Andrew, though. not according to canon Andrew. he may have been his boss at one point, but Andrew is holding the reins of the situationship. Andrew is the one in control.

so to say that Andrew, specifically, would be the one most likely to seek out much older males is… icky. iffy. yucky. you “don’t want it to be Andrew” and why is that? bc of his past abuse, right? and you know that. you know why. i know i’m probably more on the defensive than i ought to be, but there are already harmful stereotypes in aftg when it comes to queer representations and identities. we don’t need more in fanon. i don’t need more in fanon.

Andrew grew up in foster care without a mom or a dad. if he had daddy issues, he’d most likely have mommy issues too, no? but what did he do to his mommy? killed her. for laying a finger on Aaron. that’s a mommy issue alright, but not a mainstream, freudian one. not the kind we’re talking about here. so why would he develop those with older men in parallel? he actively avoids these types of men because of the abuse he endured at their hands. not just Drake's.

it’s just. awfully close to right down saying Andrew is gay bc he was abused by men as a child. that’s a dangerous, slippery slope.

again! in case it wasn't blindingly clear and glaringly obvious! the Danielle post was about Danielle herself. David Wymack would not and never was involved. David Wymack never even knew Dan harbored these misplaced (misplaced!) feelings. she is taking this one to the grave.

if you come from the perspective of personal experience and you’re projecting too, sorry. i don’t mean to invalidate your feelings or your experience.

i think i’m done now.

tl:dr it wasn’t that serious + it doesn’t need to be made serious. just me and my dad-baggage against the world.

#tl:dr it wasn’t that serious + it doesn’t need to be made serious. just me and my dad-baggage against the world.#this is an open invitation to *block me*#aftg ask #aftg #all for the game #the foxhole court #andrew minyard #danielle wilds #dan wilds #david wymack

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lindszeppelin · 4 months

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Lady in Hollywood who is very progressive and has a murky sexuality writing here to say I’m not offended at your posts about Kaia. You’re not punching down but bringing nuance and observation to a topic. You’re not saying she has to pick a gender or that bisexuality does not exist. You’re singling out one person who has decided to live a public life in front of the paparazzi but never gets too deep into anything, including her book club which explores queer topics. I’m not saying anyone, including Kaia, has to explain everything but the way she moves in the world publicly makes it hard not to be curious about seeming incongruences.

I out myself as someone in the industry who is liberal bc I have a unique lived experience with this. Almost all of my peers and friends in Hollywood have liberal view points, especially socially, but we find ourselves at a few moments questioning some people’s motives. Hollywood is a diverse (but sadly and too often) in a performative way at this moment and is looking to check boxes. If not enough people of color are in a movie, it’s a bad look. Same with story lines regarding only heterosexual plot lines. There’s also dialogues about who should play or not play gay characters. I’m all for things moving in this direction, but the execution is really messy at times. It’s hard to get roles under any circumstances, and a lot of people on subconscious levels feel threatened that they may not be special if they’re white/cis/straight. I know a lot of people out their sexualities or gender who are sincere and use it to their advantage business wise, and good for them. Like this is the moment and go and get it! I’m not erasing them. I cheerlead them. But then there’s a few others out there where my friends and I heavily question. For instance, I knew a guy in comedy who said he was a bisexual and constantly uses his bisexuality in his comedy act. The thing is, nobody has seen him date anyone but beautiful brunette women. It’s not that he can’t also be into men and just happens to luck out more with women, but he really doesn’t seem into men so it’s given a few of us pause. He’s also not a great dude (manipulative and self serving to say the least) so that does shade why we question him, but there’s countless other examples of people who do this regarding being queer and/or nonbinary. My most liberal friends who are not necessarily straight or cis question people on occasion bc they aren’t lemmings who blindly support weird energies. But it has to happen behind closed doors bc you look like a dick if you question it. Hell, you could get canceled. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t absolutely happen (people faking or exaggerating their sexuality for profession gain). Everyone wants to be chosen so they have to put their most unique self out there to stand out. Some people 100% run with false stories to get ahead.

I have a murky sexuality as I mentioned. I identify as straight, but I’m not the straightest straight girl to walk the earth. There is a fluidity to me. I’ve rarely acted on it bc it is not that deep for me. Maybe one day that will change- I’m not afraid of it. But it’s not something I put out there because as I said, it is not that deep. It feels slimy to exploit it based on how I live my life. I like dudes. I date dudes. I prefer dudes across the board. I COULD claim queerness or fluidity bc I probably *technically* am, but I don’t live my life that way (and haven’t for YEARS) despite that it is in me to be into women. It just almost never happens and hasn’t for a while, so it’s genuinely not a big part of my life. Why would I run with that? Maybe if I was insecure I would, but I’m cool standing out for other reasons that are more relevant to my day to day life.

Everyone’s sexuality is their own. Everyone has nuance. I think when we’re young we’re figuring it out. We’re polishing what works for us, what’s a permanent fixture for us, if there are patterns etc. I’m glad I wasn’t famous at 20 bc I would have likely put myself in all types of categories and vibes that don’t represent my fully cooked self. I have no idea what Kaia’s deal is, but there’s something off. At times it seems painfully obvious she’s more into women, so the fact that she only dates men (and not like, undiscovered working actors or an entertainment lawyer nobody in the public knows by name but only men the tabloids 🙄) is certainly a confounding choice. That said, I have also mentally put her in the queerbaiting category too. I waffle with those two options to be frank. It’s not my business and I hope she’s living her best life and all, but there’s smoke and I can’t figure out where the fire is. And again, I’m a straight lady who’s played with some boobies so of all people I understand confusing sexualities! I get mad when ppl act like bisexuality or fluidity can’t be a thing. But humans are observant and it’s okay to question the reality of something. Hollywood actors constantly lie/hide/deflect about their real life. Every single one of them! It’s not even always nefarious bc many have valid reasons to play the smoke in mirrors game, so it’s dumb to assume everything is at face value. Kaia comes from a media savvy family and has an unusual amount of contracts with different management and PR firms (from what I understand). Her whole brand is orchestrated, 50% of it being styled like her more famous mom. I don’t know what her personal life is like and to be frank, I largely don’t care. But I have clocked inconsistencies of things not adding up bc I have a brain and have learned in therapy to trust that my instincts are good. I don’t know what is what but if my alarm bells are going off something is off, even if I can’t guess accurately what it is.

Dialogues are healthy. They provide nuance. They let people blow off steam instead of bottling it in. They encourage critical thinking. Yes, it’s dicey to do that about an individual but also…she chose to live a very high profile life. You didn’t name call. You didn’t make a comment that was meant for all bisexuals. You were talking about one self proclaimed queer woman who has an energy in general that doesn’t match her public image (not just limited to her sexuality). Just because you don’t automatically fall in uniform with popular mindsets by questioning who she really is doesn’t make you bigoted- it makes you a curious human.

Nuance is important. Not all who question are haters.

Sincerely,

A Very Liberal Straight Lady Who Has Definitely Kissed A Lot of Women

holy shit anon, whoever you are, this was beautiful. i appologize for my very late response, i spent the entire day with my family and i just now was able to get back on and check my inbox. i am extremely happy to hear your thoughts on this subject matter. and your voice and your story matter just as much

honestly im not going to add anything more, your post needs to be the centerpiece.

love you lots and have a wonderful day

#lindsay's anon asks

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raccoonhour · 1 year

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Last night, after a cheerful party, I drunkenly cried and cried and cried. I sat on the floor of my shower and sobbed.

At the party, I saw some old and new friends, who reminded me what it feels like to be understood in my queer experience. People that I can just say something about being bi (or poly probably), and it’s just normal - no surprise, no questions, just understanding my experience. I felt so whole. Earlier that evening, i causally mentioned to a friend in a story that “me and [boyfriends name] are open. She circled back to it like “wait what I didn’t know that????”. All surprise and no “good for you doing what is best for you!” This same friend, who I’ve knows for 10+ years, but doesn’t know me super deep, did a double take a year ago when I slipped in in a convo “one time on a date with a girl”. She didn’t ask any questions, but I could see she was so thrown off that I said I dated a woman. It’s nothing against her or how she reacted - I get it, it’s new info, and it can be surprising. And maybe she thought I would have “come out” to her.

So after the party, I was talking with my boyfriend about it all. (He was great and understanding and validating). But damn I started to get so sad. I had these stark experiences of feeling so seen by my queer friends, and my straight friend being so surprised by WHO I AM.

It made me feel lonely. It made me feel not queer. It made me sob over my (and many others) bisexual experience. I desperately want to be seen and accepted as who I fully am. I want to date a woman, be in love with a woman. I want to be seen as a woman who loves women. I want ppl to stop assuming I’m straight bc I’ve had 2 long term boyfriends. I want the world to understand and REMIND ME that I AM queer even though I’ve never romantically loved a woman. I want to live in a world where I don’t have to come out or have ppl assume I’m straight.

I’ve never formally come out. I just say whatever I want to say and ppl can interpret it. I’ll say to any friend “that woman’s so hot” or mention my woman celeb crush or mention I dated/slept with a woman. Pisses me off that it surprises people. I want them to go “that makes sense. I see you in your queerness, and it is you”, or I want ppl to just not assume anyone’s straight. (I’m guilty of that).

I know a bigger part than I’d like to admit of why I haven’t formally come out is biphobia/erasure, internal and external. I don’t want to have to deal with ppl not getting it bc I’ve only been in relationships with men. I don’t want the confused questions. I don’t want to have to explain that the times I’ve dated women have been while I’ve been with my boyfriend, and have to explain poly too. I don’t want to deal with peoples reactions.

But damn, I want to be seen.

I also hold so much guilt - I KNOW I’m queer and I can be loud and proud and claim it (even tho I have to remind myself a lot), but it still feels wrong to “come out” and be super open when I’ve never been in a relationship with a woman. I feel like a fraud all the time (I try and challenge it). I don’t want to take the space from people in gay relationships. That’s the bi erasure, I feel like I can’t claim my space in it. But I try. I do, in my ways.

I think right now my approach is to just be me and say and share all gay things I want, and those who get it, get it. It feels really good to been seen as queer by other queer ppl, who are usually the ppl who pick up my cues. But that means most ppl just skate past it and see me as a loud ally. I want to be seen by them too tho.

And I don’t want it to be a surprise. And i want them to say something nice to me after I divulge!

I know I slipped in that I’m gay and poly to my friend, but I think it really hurt my feelings that it wasn’t met with warmth. I know she’s just trying to play it cool bc I slipped it in and she didn’t know if I wanted to talk about it maybe. But I just came out to you. It obviously is not something I shout about. I wanted more tenderness.

So I cried and cried and cried. I hadn’t done that in a while. I remember last time I cried like that over sexuality was when I dated my ex bf of 4 years, and I so desperately wanted to explore my bisexuality. I didn’t know if I was gay at that time. And I felt like I’d never get to “find out” and explore (ik u don’t need to explore to know, but I wanted to). And eventually we broke up and I slept with my best friend, and grew to really know I was bi. And now with my current bf of 5 years, I know who I am. We are open, I have very causally dated women. I even could fall in love with a woman, even tho I don’t think I will (while being poly). I can’t imagine being fully out as poly, that’s so much bullshit to deal with. I crave having the experience of being in love and in a relationship with woman (as my primary relationship, not while with my bf). Being out and proud and seen as who I am by the world. I hate that I can’t have that, without breaking up with my boyfriend. I wish I could live both lives. Or I wish I dated a woman in the past and had that experience already. I feel much more sure in myself than with my ex, I can tell that I’m not “secretly way more into women and actually don’t want to be with a man” and that I do love and want to be with my bf. I just mourn that I can’t have both. That I never got to be in love with a woman. That I don’t get to grow old with one. It’s confusing to feel so sad about this, makes me question if I’m unhappy in my relationship and am just too scared to break up. But that’s not it. I’m just sad I don’t get it all. Even if I were single, there is no guarantee I’d fall in love with a women, it’s hard to fall in love, and you don’t fully chose. When I was single last time I ended up falling in love with a man again (granted I was not looking to date women at that time), and lots of bi women I know date more men. I know I can love men and women. I know I want to be with my bf, I know it’s not a “deal breaker” that I’ve never loved a woman, and it’s not something that I have to experience. It’s just life. You miss out on things when you choose one thing.

But I just desperately want to be seen and experience all that I am. But that’s not the world we live in, and that’s not realistic.

What I do have control over - finding more queer community and investing in friendships. Exploring romance with women within my open relationship. Choosing to share more of who I am with the world.

And sigh, even rereading this I get a knee jerk reaction of feeling silly, silly that this matters so much to me. Silly that it upsets me that I am not seen as queer when I’m getting all the privileges of being straight passing. Guilty that i want to be more oppressed?? Silly that reading queer books and watching shows wreck me so much bc I care so much. I know that’s all judgement and I should let myself feel what I feel without shame. But still. It’s hard.

#queer #bisexaul #bi agenda #biphobia #bi erasure #poly relationship #polyamory #gay #queer community #makes me think of my fav queer content #young royals #the sex lives of college girls #heartstopper #carry on #the half of it

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starbuckaroo · 13 days

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Not looking forward to all the racist disk horse that liable to rear its ugly head in the wake of the bibuckpocalypse. Not that it wasn’t already there, but like. Any time you get a big influx of new fans there’s just like, so many more of them to either try and educate or just block lmao.

Especially bc with this show in particular, there can be a lot of nuance in many aspects of it, and there’s a lot of trauma that all the characters experience that fans don’t always see the same way (particularly the parental trauma), and some of that falls along ethnic or cultural lines, and just…sometimes it’s complex! Sometimes the show takes a long time to resolve a conflict that causes hurt, sometimes they do it in an unsatisfactory way or don’t do it onscreen at all, and so some fans won’t be able to tolerate that wait or the way it’s handled, and that’s valid, but it’s also valid to be able to tolerate it. Doesn’t necessarily mean there’s racism or misogyny at the heart of those disagreements.

But sometimes it’s just racism. And I don’t look forward to any of these conflicts tbh, especially because the former type kind of requires folks to assume the best out of others until they hear them out, but when there’s also bog standard racism floating in the water, who has the time to try and sort through that shit? Idk.

I’m too tired dealing with this type of conflict in my real life, and while I have for a very large part of my adult life felt like fandom politics are important and indicative of many parts of society at large and therefore deserve to be taken seriously, I also just don’t have the energy.

Like…people who are disagreeing about how Eddie was treated in the last episode? Valid as a disagreement, but until we see for real how the show is gonna handle that, I’m personally gonna hold off on being too upset about it or like, getting involved in discourse about it at the very least. I might read lots of fic exploring it though. Coz I mean I also hated the way they “resolved” the lawsuit arc but eventually I read enough fic that I got over it 😂 god bless fic authors, truly.

BUT the people who are like “wow finally the gay firefighter show is actually gay” like lol no get out, shut up. You could have said “I’m so glad to see bi rep on the show finally!” or “I’m so stoked that another one of the main cast is gonna be openly queer now!” But the show has always been gay. The main cast has always had gay rep. If you forgot about Hen, your racism and/or misogyny is showing. Pls shut up.

#disk horse

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im-just-a-random-fandom-girl · 1 year

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merry christmas!

sorry i’ve not been on much. miss you all dearly. just need to rant right now. sometimes tumblr acts as a journal of sorts, you know?

being in the closet is hard.

my grandpas visited this past week, and my dad’s dad laughed and said that he’s referring to his grandkids by numbers now (ex gc 1, gc 2) because they keep changing their names and he’s “not going to call Andrew, Athena, [he] just won’t!” (I’m referring to my amab cousin, Andrew, with that name but they/them pronouns because I’m not clear on what they go by right now, and I wasn’t even aware that they were reassessing their gender identity. the outing of Andrew when they themselves have not told us is also frustrating, just not what is particularly aggravating to me at the moment)

anyway, i mentioned it today to my family because it’s been on my mind a lot. casually, i said that my grandpa was a little mean over the weekend, and that it’s hard to comprehend how a gay person could be transphobic. and both my parents sort of launched into defending him, about how he wasn’t being transphobic just that he was laughing about all the changes and how andrew has apparently changed their name a few times and gone back and forth. i mentioned that he was apparently mean and unsupportive when my other cousin, ethan, started transitioning (ethan was afab and started socially transitioning at 13 and has recently started medically transitioning at 15). so then my parents began talking all this shit about how he had a reasonable concern given ethan’s age etc etc. (i didn’t mention the fact that my grandpa’s skepticism and rudeness about ethan were pretty ridiculous as he has played a very small role in ethan’s life despite the fact that he’s his grandpa, and hurtful bc the person who is raising him is his ex-wife (my dad’s mom) and a lot of his “concern” just seemed to be a question of my grandma’s judgement and ability to raise ethan. which is AGAIN even more ridiculous given how hard raising ethan has been! he has a plethora of learning disabilities and has been dealing with severe mental health issues (self-harm, suicide attempts) for the last few years, none of which my grandpa can even come close to understanding bc, again, he has played such a small role - I see Ethan MAYBE 3 times a year and that’s STILL more than our grandpa))

anyway, this was all hurtful enough, to have all of these pieces overlooked, but especially when my dad’s final defense of my grandpa was this: “he’s a part of this community and has an insight and perspective that none of us can understand.” listen, i value the fact that my dad sees queer knowledge and experience as something valuable, but that doesn’t mean it can never be questioned and challenged; not every queer person is actually a part of the community. transphobic queer people exist! case in point. anyway, the worst part was just the assumption that all of us at the table are straight. i hurt more than i thought. i want to be myself! shouldn’t it be easy to come out to my family when my grandpa is gay? when i have (potentially) two trans cousins? but the micro aggressions are like slashes in my confidence, and the unsteady attempts at being accepting of queer identities (but not going so far as feeling like we need to be more actively and openly supportive, and certainly being confused and kind of disgusted by those that reject the gender binary) make me feel out of place.

i’m bi. i think it’s a lot easier than coming out as gay, or trans, or gender-fluid/queer etc. to straight, cis people, i’m still “half-straight” and i’m still conforming to gender norms. so i feel dumb for being so scared to come out. my family is more supportive than many out there. im lucky in that regard. but i feel like im already fighting to educate them on so many things (the current issue: cultural appropriation vs cultural appreciation) that i can’t handle trying to teach them how to handle having a queer kid too. i can’t be the guinea pig (more than i already am #oldestchild). so i stay in the closet at home and beg for the semester to start sooner so i can go back to my safe, queer friends at school where i am out.

#tw: suidice #tw: self-harm #sara stupidity #queerness #coming out #late night thoughts with sara

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waterberry-strawmelon · 3 years

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I feel like there needs to be a name for the specific type of emotion you feel when you’re around other queer ppl who you aren’t out to but they keep calling you an ally and you just have to sit there and choke on your own tight smiles and silence 🙃

#like on the one hand i guess I haven’t given them reason to assume I’m queer (?????) but. i think this is way more presumptuous yknow #and also #there was a moment a while back where a sorta mutual friend just straight up asked me if I was gay #and I felt rlly bad lying so I said ‘no but—haha no but it’s whatever’ and in that split second I freaked myself out and didn’t say anything #so it’s like. I get why they’d think that I’m straight #but like. just bc I said I wasn’t gay doesn’t mean I’m not queer.#and I get that I sorta had a way of clarifying #like there was a perfect opening to be like ‘nope but I’m not straight either’ but I just got fucking scared #and I was sooooo unprepared for that. like it came so out of the blue #blegh. everything feels messy and I just feel sad :(#I feel such a simultaneous pressure to come out so I can feel better abt myself #but I haven’t explicitly like. come out to anyone in my life actually and that’s terrifying #here online I just kinda treat it as a fact #and even then I don’t love specifying a whole lot? I mean it’s pretty fuckin obvious if u read my tags and shit but I still find it #so difficult to even type out the phrase ‘I’m aro’ yknow? like idk. idk. I think I feel like I’m faking a lot and that really really sucks.#I think that one post summed it up really well: ‘you can’t really prove/be proud of a lack of something.’ idk if that was the exact wording #but my point still stands. idk. I think I’m being a lil over dramatic but sue me I’m fucking tired.#thanks for reading if anyone got this far.#mine #just some thoughts #about me

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epic-sorcerer · 3 years

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Queer imagery in BBC Merlin

Content warning: kink/fetish, fisting in particular but I show I big image containing a long list of different kinks, homophobia, dom/sub dynamics, sex

Merlin is shown wearing a purple tunic in s4, despite the fact he is a servant and purple(especially with such saturation) was extremely expensive bc purple dye was so hard to make. Gwen also has a light purple dress(or maybe 2? It’s hard to tell). Even though it’s definitely lighter than Merlins tunic, it’s still expensive.

it was illegal for peasants to wear expensive fabrics because of the Sumptuary Law. Basically it makes sure that lower class people are not fashionable. However, BBC Merlin doesn’t seam to care about that law, considering Merlins other bright clothing so take this was a grain of salt.

Basically what I’m trying to say is that there’s no way they could have gotten their hands on these clothes without the help of nobles. Gwen might have, because she works with clothing and could have easily mixed blue and red dye together. Merlin probably not have because he’s never shown to be particularly materialistic or interested much in fashion, despite his bright clothes. Bright Purple would have been much, much harder to get.

It makes the most sense for Merlin and possibly Gwen too to have been gifted such expensive clothing by a noble for being a good servant. I’d imagine Arthur would be the one to give Merlin the tunic and morgana the dresses.

Why does this matter? Lavender(and also purple in general) was considered a queer color starting in the 19th century. Queer men especially were said to possess a “streak of lavender” and a serge of homophobia at the time was often referred to as the “Lavender Scare.” Purple and lavender is still used now to symbolize queerness.

Since Merlin is a modern interpretation of Arthurian myths, it would be perfectly plausible that this symbol was on purpose. Merlin/Arthur and Gwen/Morgana are both extremely popular ships and they are both shown to have a very deep form of trust(Gwen/Morgana being at the beginning of the show). Arthur and Morgana gifting Merlin and Gwen purple clothing could be show them they accept their queerness and/or signaling their own queer attraction to them.

Now, this next symbolism concerns only Merlin/Arthur.

Merlin is shown to have three neckerchiefs.

Navy blue, red, and light grey. Why does this matter? Well, let’s take a look at something called the handkerchief code, also known as the hanky code or “flagging.”

This code has its origins all the way back in time during the Wild West in the USA, but got more popular during the late 20th century in USA and UK gay bars. This code was used mainly by queer men and some nonbinary people to signal to other queers what they wanted sexually. While typically worn in people’s back pockets, a handkerchief could also be worn around one’s neck to show they are a versatile and experienced.

According to this code, Merlin is into;

Red: fisting and getting fisted. This color was hard to get an exact shade from, but the second best option was dark red for double fisting which is honestly so similar I’m not sure if it really matters much.

Light grey: stone topping and getting fucked by a stone top

Navy blue: fucking and being fucked anally

For any one wanting to make their own interpretations of Merlins neckerchief colors(the lighting makes it hard to tell the exact ones) have a look at this handy chart

Not only that, but Arthur is seen wearing a favour on his left arm in s3 ep 4.

What’s a favour? It’s a fabric strip of affection commonly given by maidens to knights before a tournament as a symbol of good luck. It’s often a very important scarf, hankcerchlif , towel, really any bit of cloth that can be tied around someone’s arm. This is also a popular trope in historical media for a female love interest to give a favour to a male one to show chemistry between them.

Regardless of your stance on Merlins gender identity, you have to admit how commonly Merlin is shown to be gender nonconforming(GNC) or otherwise be associated with “womanly” qualities. Especially in a society so heteronormative, the only “pure” option for a knight receiving a romantic gesture would have it be from a woman. If the token was from a queer man, it would also out the noble and cause lots of horrific chaos and destroy both of their reputations.

Even if it was common for women to give knights favours, queer men still existed and with that came romantic gestures—this time hopefully more secret.

Even though the favour on Arthur’s arm doesn’t look exactly like Merlin’s neckerchief, Merlin was the only person to speak with him while preparing for the tournament. Also, the original theorist who I linked in my sources also pointed out that Merlins neckerchief looks lopsided. Almost like Merlin tore off a bit of it and hastily tied it back on.

Although this theory is definitely flawed, it doesn’t matter. Arthur is still wearing a red handkerchief on his left arm. But what does that tell us exactly?

Regardless of wether or not it was Merlin’s, the red is the same shade and also implies Arthur is also into fisting. What about the placement? Sicne it’s on his left, it shows that he is a top/dom, meaning that he prefers to be the one fisting. Since it is worn around his upper arm, it shows that he is simply into the fetish, compared to what other placements mean. In another source, it shows taht upper arm means switch, but because Arthur is wearing it on his left it wouldn’t really make sense for him to signal being a “top-switch” compared to being a top and having the fetish in general.

If you look closely, you can see a different colored stripe on the favour. It’s hard to tell exactly what the color is, it could be yellow, gold, orange, etc. because the color is so dubious, I’ll just leave y’all with a list of color meanings that may apply to Arthur’s favour.

YELLOW: pisser/watersports kink

YELLOW, Pale: spitter/spit kink

MUSTARD: Has 8+ inch dick

GOLD: two looking for one

ORANGE: anything anytime

Also, it’s important to bring up what many in thsi fandom refer to as the “fisting scene.” Where Arthur threatens Merlin by showing him his gloved fist and pulling a bit at the glove.

youtube

In the blooper, you can see Merlin’s actor(Colin Morgan) breaking character and giggling as Arthur shows him his fist. Many in the fandom agree that this was a clear innuendo for fisting, and it is very well possible.

Merlin is shown hitting Arthur and saying he was just doing some horse play, but still indirectly convincing Arthur that he needs to teach Merlin a lesson. This is actually a common act in BDSM sex, where the submissive person purposely angers the dominant into punishing them in a way that somehow involves sex or fetish play.

If you look closely, you can see Merlin is wearing at kinky red fisting handkerchief, showing Merlin is perfectly capable of being a submissive fistee. Also, the hanky code also includes other symbols such as latex or rubber gloves that, surprise surprise, also mean fisting. Although it’s more likely Arthur’s gloves where made of leather, it can still further be interpreted as a fisting symbol if you want. Either way, Arthur’s favour still holds water as he is undoubtedly the dom in this situation.

Also, Merlin is very impulsive and a madlad. Tell me he wouldn’t wear his secret fetish symbols infrount of stuck up, Roman Catholics who are none the wiser. He’d probably think it’s hilarious which is probably why he wears them almost everyday. Merlin loves playfully misbehaving(and is also a brat sometimes) so it makes sense for him to have some dangerous fun.

Now, you may be asking. Why does this matter? At the end of the day, it probably wasn’t intentional. Well, there is alwyas room for doupt BUT I do have some ferther proof. One of the co writers of BBC Merlin—Johnny Capps—actually won a Stone Wall Award. You know, an award named after a core part of queer culture?

The award’s website and Wikipedia page say they give the award for art that describes the LGBT experience well. While I am unsure why or what Capps made to be nominated, it still shows he is very much in touch with queer culture. Capp himself even said at an interview about Merlin, “... in the end, deep, deep down it’s about sexuality and things you just can’t tackle head-on.”

Well, what says more about sexuality than the main characters fist fucking each other? That’s a lot of sexuality. While I am unsure of Capp’s age, he does look to be about middle age and it would make sense for him to know about a code popularized in a 70s to 90s. Especially for someone who has made multiple queer oriented stories in his life time.

Sources:

Why is purple considered the color of royalty?

Sumptuary law

How lavender became a symbol of LGBTQ resistance

How Lavender Became a Symbol of LGBTQ Resistance(part 2)

flagging opinicus rampant

Handkerchief code

DO YOU KNOW THE HANKY CODE?

Picspam: The Red Favour (Proof of Arthur Wearing Merlin's Favour in 3x04)

Five medieval love tokens

The Lady's Favour

Hanky codes

Nominees for Stonewall Awards announced

Merlin series 5 spoiler-free launch report

Pls reblog I spent hours on this /np 😭👊

#tw kink mention #tw sex talk #tw eye strain #tw homophobia #tw queerphobia #research essay #long post #Merlin #bbc Merlin #Merlin bbc #merthur #merlin/arthur #gwen/morgana #morgwen

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byronictrash · 3 years

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some stuff that would be different in my version of hbo supernatural (season 1)

or the world if sam winchester were a trans girl

based on that post (by me)

PILOT

the flashback of mary dying/house burning is pretty similar to the canon

we get to see some of sam and jess’ routine while top of the world - carpenters plays (yes thats a bcs reference, leave me alone). they wake up together, eat breakfast, go to the campus, have their respectives classes, lunch with their friends, go back to their apartment, watch something on tv and later order some pizza or chinese food for dinner.

sam never came out to dean because she didn’t think it would do any good, besides that she didn't really think they would see each other again

no need to say dean looked pretty confused meeting sam wearing a silk nightgown when he broke into her apartment

“dude why are you wearing women's clothes?” “‘uh, it's more comfortable” “and why is your hair so long?” “i’m letting it grow to donate to the cancer hospital”

jess knew that sam didn’t come out to her dad but considering the way sam talked about how close she and dean were, she thought sam would have came out to her brother so she looked very confused watching dean calling sam brother/dude/guy/jess’ boyfriend and sam just acting normal

cis play throughout the episode but still the elephant in the room

when dean is driving her back to the apartment she comes out to him. he doesn’t get it at first so sam has to explain like he’s five (“wait so you’re saying you’re a girl” “yes” “but you said jessica is your girlfriend” “she is” “so why did you became a girl if you’re not gay?” “*sights* i AM gay dean, i’m literally a lesbian”)

they exchange numbers, dean ask her to call after the interview to tell him how it went, sam asks him to update her about the search for dad etc. everything looks* great

everything looked* great because in the next minute all sam can see is jess pinned on the ceiling and their house on fire

PHANTOM TRAVELER

in the moment they find they’re facing a demon, dean would recognize, verbally, that sam's a better demonologist than him (“it looks like sulfur residue, your department” “uh?” “sammy both of us know you’re the demon nerd here, my latin sucks”)

when they’re exorcising the demon and he starts describing how jess died, it’s much more graphic and gory. sam almost throws up

also when sam is reading the rituale romanum, her nose starts to bleed. dean asks later what was that and sam says it was the high pressure but she knows it wasn’t, because everytime she says sacred words she feels some physical discomfort.

SKIN

the friend of sam that was being incriminated of murder his girlfriend would be gay (we would see on screen the difference of the policce threatment with queer people and with cishet people)

HOOK MAN

in the moment they see that the case is in a religious small town in Iowa, sam puts her cisplay outfit

lots of flashbacks addressing their religious trauma. sam blessing the water, even though there’re already stocked enough, even though it made her dizzy, because she knew there was something wrong with her and these little rituals were the only thing that helped her feel less wrong, less dirty. dean on the other hand, tended towards the Epicurean paradox (“oh fuck it sam, just think for a minute if god exists and it’s all love and goodness, why would he created the evil we face every day?”

a scene of sam praying???? i mean sam winchester is the second most catholic character in media after matt murdock and i dont remember one (1) scene of sam praying in cw canon????

lori being much more comfortable with sam cause she feel more connected with the good christian “boy” than the bad boy with a leather jacket and sharp tongue

so there is that moment that lori flirts with sam, but she rejects her cause a) her girlfriend just died and b) lori was saying stuff like “you’re so kind, it’s hard to find boys like that nowadays” (kind of a deal break). after trying to kiss sam and she deviates, lori asks if is sam “a homossexual” and she is taken by surprise and just starts babbling “uh no exactly, i mean yeah but not like that i mean..”

HOME

dean hyperventilates in the moment they park in front of the house

sam and dean having a little argument about how unfair was this demand from dad (and dean) for sam to have the same grieving relationship with mary that they have (“how can you say that? she was our mom!” “dean i know it and i love her for it. I'm only saying that i was a 6 months old baby! i don’t have any memory of her face other than photos”)

when mary shows up, her ghost is not in that whole madonna-martyr looking, but has burned skin, charred hair and her nightgown is glued on her body

she looks at sam up and down, smiles foundly and says “when i was pregnant of you, i knew i was going to have a daughter”

ASYLUM

“for the last time dean, i’m not psychic, i just have those weird dreams” “whatever samantha spellman, you’ll be reading my tarot later anyway”

while being ghost-headed, sam throws at dean how she hates the condescending way that dean treats her (“why are we here? because dad said so and you have to follow his order like a little soldier? well that’s you, not me anymore! i think with my own head, that’s why i left, to live a normal life, until you show up, pull me back into it and treat me like a pet again”)

FAITH

dean tries to kill himself after finding out he only has weeks to live because “ i don’t want to be a dead weight holding you back”

more!!! religious!!! trauma!!! flashbacks!!!

reverend roy and his flock’s bigotry shows up in a “hate the sin, not the sinner” way. they're all very polite and gentle with sam, however, calls her “son/brother/male pronouns in general” in the most condescending friendly tone.

NIGHTMARE

a bunch of flashbacks of john A+ parenting, calling sam a bunch of slurs everytime she does something vaguely feminine or is simply being a kid afraid of monsters

when they discovered that max was psychic sam says they cannot kill him cause “wtf dean we’re not killing a human being”

while max is describing the series of abuses he suffered from his dad, all that sam could think was a mix of “wow this is literally me” and “no no no, dad didn’t hit me in that way, besides he was doing his best, if he made a mistake he was trying to get it right etc etc”

SHADOW

some sibling teasing!!!! (“i’m telling you dean, there’s something wicked about this girl that i can’t catch” “hmmm i bet you’d like to” “i’m serious!” “maybe she’s not a sus, you just got a thing for her” “fuck off, just check if there’s really any meg masters from andover” “sure, what about you?” “i’m gonna watch meg” “WO-HOOO!! that’s my little sister!!!!! filling my heart with pride!!”)

in the moment john sees sam in a dress, he doesn’t say anything. however, he suddenly stops calling sam sam and starts calling her strictly samuel.

HELL HOUSE

“i thought the legend said that mordechai only goes after chicks” “it does” “that explain why he went after you”

PROVENANCE

sarah is a lesbian!!!

“we can use the provenance to track the pieces history” “uhum, sarah totally knows it” “yeah, maybe you can get her to write it all on a cocktail napkin” “i guess she’s not so much into guys” “and how could you know?” “cause it wasn’t my ass she was checking out”

DEVIL’S TRAP

when sam starts to read the exorcism, meg laughs and says “oh really sam, don’t you think it is better dean to recite this whole little poem? you know how you feel when you talk some latin out loud”

sam’s nose in fact bleeds this time, again. bobby asks her “the hell was that, kid?” and this time she blames the dry weather

the first red flag that john is not john is the fact that after being rescued he only refers to sam as samantha, no sam nor samuel, samantha season 2 season 3

#hbo supernatural #trans sam winchester #supernatural #samjess #transfem sam #lesbian sam winchester #kripke era #spn s1 #headcanon #mine

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firelxdykatara · 3 years

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I’m just really confused as to where this idea that Zuko is gaycoded came from. Like people are allowed to have that headcanon but I don’t understand where people are coming from when they try and claim that he was undisputedly gaycoded and trying to deny it is homophobic when he’s only ever shown romantic interest in women.

I made a pretty long post on the topic a while back, but the ultimate gist of it is this: there are a lot of elements of Zuko's status as an abuse victim and trauma survivor that resonate with queer folks. This is understandable and completely fine! However, there are some parts of the fandom who have taken that to the other extreme and will now insist that those elements are uniquely queer, and that they can only be read as some sort of veiled gay/coming out narrative, even though that doesn't make much sense since there is no part of Zuko's narrative which is unique to any sort of queer experience.

I think the problem really does stem from two things being conflated--Zuko's history of abuse and trauma, and trauma&abuse being something a lot of queer people have experienced. I suspect it goes something like 'I see a lot of myself in Zuko, and I was abused for being gay, therefore Zuko must be gay too in order to have had similar experiences.' This can then lead to feeling dismissed or invalidated when other people point out that those experiences are not unique to being queer--but on the flip side, abuse victims and trauma survivors whose abuse&trauma do not stem from queerness (even if they are queer themselves) can feel invalidated and dismissed by the implication that their trauma must be connected to their queerness or it isn't valid.

This is also where the 'people don't actually know what gay coded means' part comes in, and I realize now that I didn't actually get into what gay coding (and queer coding in general) actually means, since I was so hung up on pointing out how Zuko doesn't really fit the mold. (And the few elements that exist which could be said to count are because of the 'villains historically get queer coded bc Hays Code era' thing and mostly occur in Book 1, not because of how he acts as an abuse&trauma survivor.)

Under a cut because I kind of go on a tangent about gay/queer coding, but I swear I get back to the point eventually.

Queer coding (and it is notable that, with respect to Zuko, it is almost always framed as 'he couldn't possibly be attracted to girls', rather than 'he could be attracted to boys as well as girls' in these discussions, for... no real discernible reason, but I'll get into that in a bit) is the practice of giving characters 'stereotypically queer' traits and characteristics to 'slide them under the radar' in an era where having explicitly queer characters on screen was not allowed, unless they were evil or otherwise narratively punished for their queerness. (See: the extant history of villains being queer-coded, because if they were Evil then it was ok to make them 'look gay', since the story wasn't going to be rewarding their queerness and making audiences think it was in any way OK.) This is thanks to the Motion Picture Production Code (colloquially and more popularly known as the Hays Code), which was a set of guidelines which movies coming out of any major studio had to adhere to in order to be slated for public release and lasted from the early 1930s until it was finally abandoned in the late 60s.

The Hays Code essentially existed to ensure that the content of major motion pictures would not 'lower the moral standards' of the viewing public. It didn't just have to do with queerness--cursing was heavily monitored, sex outside of marriage was not allowed to be seen as desirable or tittilating, miscegenation was not allowed (most specifically interracial relationships between black and white people), criminals had to be punished lest the audience think that it was ok to be gay and do crime, etc. Since same-sex relations fell under 'sexual perversion', they could not be shown unless the 'perversion' were punished in some way. (This is also the origin of the Bury Your Gays trope, another term that is widely misunderstood and misapplied today.) To get around this, queer coding became the practice by which movies and television could depict queer people but not really, and it also became customary to give villains this coding even more overtly, since they would get punished by the end of the film or series anyway and there was nothing to lose by making them flamboyant and racy/overly sexual/promiscuous.

Over time, this practice of making villains flamboyant, sexually aggressive, &etc became somewhat separated from its origins in queer coding, by which I mean that these traits and tropes became the go-to for villains even when the creator had no real intention of making them seem queer. This is how you generally get unintentional queer-coding--because these traits that have been given to villains for decades have roots in coding, but people tend to go right to them when it comes to creating their villains without considering where they came from.

Even after the Hays Code was abandoned, the sentiments and practices remained. Having queer characters who weren't punished by the narrative for being queer was exceptionally rare, and it really isn't until the last fifteen or so years that we've seen any pushback against that. Buffy the Vampire Slayer is famous for being one of the first shows on primetime television to feature an explicitly gay relationship on-screen, and that relationship ended in one of the most painful instances of Bury Your Gays that I have ever personally witnessed. (Something that, fourteen years later, The 100 would visually and textually reference with Lexa's death. Getting hit by a bullet intended for someone else after a night of finally getting to be happy and have sex with her s/o? It wasn't remotely subtle. I don't even like Clexa, but that was incredibly rough to witness.)

However, bringing this back to Zuko, he really doesn't fit the criteria for queer coding for a number of reasons. First of all, no one behind the scenes (mostly a bunch of cishet men) was at all intending to include queer rep in the show. This wasn't a case where they were like 'well, we really wanted to make Zuko gay, but we couldn't get that past the censors, so here are a few winks and a nudge', because it just wasn't on their radar at all. Which makes sense--it wasn't on most radars in that era of children's programming. This isn't really an indictment, it's just a fact of the time--in the mid/late 00s, no one was really thinking about putting queer characters in children's cartoons. People were barely beginning to include them in more teen- and adult-oriented television and movies. It just wasn't something that a couple of straight men, who were creating a fantasy series aimed at young kids, were going to think about.

What few instances you can point to from the series where Zuko might be considered to exhibit coding largely happen in Book 1, when he was a villain, because the writers were drawing from typically villainous traits that had historically come from queer coding villains and had since passed into common usage as villainous traits. But they weren't done with any intention of making it seem like Zuko might be attracted to boys.

And, again, what people actually point to as 'evidence' of Zuko being queer-coded--his awkwardness on his date with Jin and his confrontation with Ozai being the big ones I can think of off the top of my head--are actually just... traits that come from his history of trauma and abuse.

As I said in that old post:

making [zuko’s confrontation of ozai] about zuko being gay and rejecting ozai’s homophobia, rather than zuko learning fundamental truths about the world and about his home and about how there was something deeply wrong with his nation that needed to be fixed in order for the world to heal (and, no, ‘homophobia’ is not the answer to ‘what is wrong with the fire nation’, i’m still fucking pissed at bryke about that), misses the entire point of his character arc. this is the culmination of zuko realizing that he should never have had to earn his father’s love, because that should have been unconditional from the start. this is zuko realizing that he was not at fault for his father’s abuse--that speaking out of turn in a war meeting in no way justified fighting a duel with a child.

is that first realization (that a parent’s love should be unconditional, and if it isn’t, then that is the parent’s fault and not the child’s) something that queer kids in homophobic households/families can relate to? of course it is. but it’s also something that every other abused kid, straight kids and even queer kids who were abused for other reasons before they even knew they were anything other than cishet, can relate to as well. in that respect, it is not a uniquely queer experience, nor is it a uniquely queer story, and zuko not being attracted to girls (which is what a lot of it seems to boil down to, at the end of the day--cutting down zuko’s potential ships so that only zukka and a few far more niche ships are left standing) is not necessary to his character arc. nor does it particularly make sense.

And, regarding his date with Jin:

(and before anyone brings up his date with jin--a) he enjoyed it when she kissed him, and b) he was a traumatized, abused child going out on a first date. of course he was fucking awkward. have you ever met a teenage boy????)

Zuko is socially awkward and maladjusted because he was abused by his father as a child and has trouble relating to people as a result. He was heavily traumatized and brutally physically injured as a teenager, and it took him years to begin to truly recover from the scars that left on his psyche (and it's highly likely, despite the strides he made in canon, that he has a long way to go, post series; it's such a pity that we never got any continuation comics >.>). He was not abused for being gay or queer--he was abused because his father believed he was weak, and part of Zuko's journey was realizing that his father's perception of strength was flawed at its core. That his entire nation had rotted from the inside out, and the regime needed to be changed in order for the world--including his people--to begin to heal.

That could be commingled with a coming out narrative, which is completely fine for headcanons (although I personally prefer not to, because, again, we have more than enough queer trauma already), but it simply doesn't exist in canon. Zuko was not abused or traumatized for being queer, and his confrontation with Ozai was not about him coming out or realizing any fundamental truth about himself--it was about realizing something fundamental about his father and his nation, and making the choice to leave them behind so that he could help the Avatar grow stronger and force things to change when he got back.

TL;DR: at the end of the day, none of the traits, scenes, or behavior Zuko exhibits which shippers tend to use to claim he was gay-coded are actually evidence of coding--they aren't uniquely queer experiences, as they stem from abuse that was not related in any way to his sexuality, and they are experiences that any kid who suffered similar abuse or trauma could recognize and resonate with. (Including straight kids, and queer kids who were abused for any reason other than their identity.) And, finally, Zuko can be queer without erasing or invalidating his canon attraction to girls, and it's endlessly frustrating that the 'Zuko is gay-coded' crowd refuses to acknowledge that.

#atla #zuko #on queer coding #atla fandom salt #salt for ts #asked #mudbend

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masterthespianduchovny · 3 years

Text

Although there is critique to be made about Anthony, fans need to take accountability and responsibility for how they engage with media. As absurd as that sounds, I need people to actually listen.

I just read a tweet that said, "How rude of the actor. I clung to ships when I was in the closet Bc I craved representation. so glad Mark gets it, he a truly good ally."

This is what I meant yesterday when I said fans will dehumanize actors (to further their own goals).

"How rude?"

What is rude about Mackie wanting better m/m platonic relationships represented on screen? What? Because a person is no longer able to vicariously live through the character they're representing or who a fan paired them with?

It's the entitlement for me.

And that may sound wrong to say about the LBGTQ community, but there are levels to this shit when you add race to it, especially when they add in Mark Hamill. Mark was just portraying a character--one he cared about, but he wasn't trying to help influence the perception and dynamics of a group.

As a lead, Anthony wants to allow black men to have platonic relationships with other male characters without it being sexualized or romanticized because, let's be honest, most male friendships on screen (and many in real life) are toxic. If this person can get validation from fictional characters being gay, doesn't that say a black kid or black man can get validation from seeing a fictional black man be vulnerable and have close relationships with other male characters without it being sexual?

It's not like these fans cared about Sam until it was time to pair Bucky with a new man and now it's the responsibility of these actors to reinforce these fans' head canons???

Like, I completely fucking get where people are coming from at times with these criticisms, however, fandom and actors/crew were NEVER supposed to mix like this. I don't know if it's because of the increasing popularity of cons or the accessibility of people apart of the given show or movie, but the idea that actors and crew can't speak their mind thus them being "rude" for clarification and explaining the narrative is bonkers.

Head canons are GREAT! But when you're seeking validation from some form of media for representation that they've never indicated they're setting up, you've set yourself up for failure. How is anyone disappointed that Mackie said, "These are two men who are close, but it's not romantic--it's platonic."

Back then, fans fully embraced the fact that our shit wasn't canon and we were fine with that. Like, yeah, there is a lot of nuances and shit. I get that, but this entitlement in trying to dictate the narrative and color everything as queer baiting is wild as fuck and diminishes actual queer baiting.

I literally spoke to someone who said queer baiting is whatever a queer person thinks it is and that is wrong. This take completely muddles the meaning of queer baiting and, consequently, decontexualizes everything to give power to fan meaning. As a result, this is why some fans are upset when they faves they've coded as a gay man ends up with a woman. They've spent so much time ignoring canon and living in their own reality that when the show actually addresses romance, it feels homophobic to them.

Queer baiting is intentional for the most part. And if someone is always going with their meaning of something, they're going to think someone is "rude" and see anything in contradiction to their beliefs as homophobia.

There is this huge dishonesty about what goes on in the community and acting as if fans are always on their best behavior. Regardless if its m/m, m/f, or f/f fans can and have harassed actors about their ships. Fans have behaved poorly. Fans aren't telling these actors about these ships in a wink wink sort of way or just sharing something, they're constantly seeking out validation and, in return, are trying to influence the narrative. And when that doesn't happen, "WE WERE QUEER BAITED!!!"

These actors, writers, and show runners are being put in an impossible position. If they don't validate a fan's feelings, "they're rude and homophobic." Then if they keep with their narrative that doesn't support the fan interpretation, "They're rude and homophobic." If the validate the fans feelings and stay on course, its queer baiting. "But they said they shipped x and y!!!"

That twitter user projected their personal struggle onto Mackie and made him responsible for their feelings. In the process, she completely disregarded his personhood as a black person. And that's the shit I'm talking about.

If people truly understood that how you interact with media in a non canon way is your personal relationship that no one can interfere on, most wouldn't be upset by Mackie's words. Because shit that happens in fandom has shit all to do with canon most of the time.

One last point, for those who keep claiming that this was just an innocent little fandom thing that Mackie shat on, shall I remind y'all of Endgame???

People convinced themselves that Steve and Bucky were going to end up via a subtle nod and were mad as fuck when Steve ended up with Peggy. There was literally nothing to support this idea except head canons and actors going the Mark Hamill route of supporting fan feelings. After Endgame, their was fucking articles and pissed off fans because they were "queer baited", despite literally nothing in the narrative supporting this.

People can talk about tropes for days, yet a prime example of the MCU doing whatever the fuck they want is Steve and Natasha. You can lay out all the tropes you want, but they didn't go down that route. After having them kiss, change in front of each other, run away together several times, imply Steve had a hard on due to Natasha, etc THEY NEVER TOUCHED ON THEM ACTUALLY BEING TOGETHER. In literally the next movie after winter soldier, Natasha gets involved with Bruce.

They're always presented as good friends who genuinely care about each other.

It's fine if people ship Sam and Bucky. It's fine to want the MCU to actually explore their dynamic. What is not fine is to disregard and ignore canon to peddle your fantasies, and then claim you were baited because you didn't like the outcome.

The fandom at large can be so fucking dishonest and that shit is so appalling.

#Anthony mackie #sam wilson

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hopefullystillatheatrestudent · 3 years

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this might be a weird thought but the way jensen performs masculinity (and i KNOW it’s a performance cause like, have you SEEN the mockumentary?) is just.... so inherently queer to me lmao

ok. okokokokokok. you asked for this. i have a LOT of thoughts on this. it’s gonna be under a cut because i’m gonna be annoying and psychoanalyse a celebrity i’ve never met(and hope i never do) but trust and believe when i tell you i know what i’m talking about so

you want my opinion? here goes. there is absolutely no way jensen ackles is straight. i hear you, ‘how do you know that he’s bi? that’s invasive and creepy’ but may i counter that point by saying how do you know he’s straight???? why is the default for everyone heterosexual? that’s a toxic mentality to have; ‘oh you don’t know for sure so just treat him like he’s 100% straight just in case’ like....what? heteronormativity drives me wild i’m sorry

and also, um, just to, um, prove my point that this man is decidedly not straight™(i really don’t want to do this but like it has to be said) we KNOW he’s not straight because his d*ck has spoken for itself around misha, like, four times. I HATE SAYING IT!!!!!!! but, um, straight men don’t get aroused by men. ...do i really need to explain myself further???? that’s what i thought(and don’t give me the ‘it could have been for unrelated reasons’ or ‘that wasn’t a boner!’ crap because um good lord yes it was and misha caused every single one so no it wasn’t a coincidence i’m gonna move on before i collapse into myself like a dying star)

anyway, on to the topic at hand which is jensen and his performative masculinity. and it’s a juicy one.

after the unconscious amount of hours i’ve put into watching and subconsciously judging jackles, i have come to the conclusion that like, 90% of how he presents himself and talks and even moves is an act. it’s a facade. it’s a shield. he is not that person. it actually seems exhausting, because he tries to compose himself in this macho, manly, confident and effortlessly cool way, but he’s not that person he desperately wishes he was and wants to be perceived as. he’s on guard every second, even the slightest tilt of his head is like, pre-meditated in some way? if i’m going FULL body language analyst mode, i’ve noticed he has a certain posture he always shifts himself into, and it’s very ‘pursed lips, stoic faced, gruff voiced, square-shoulder, broad and manly’ but, not to be rude jensen, it kind of reads as a little kid imitating the adults he thinks are cool? oof i am going IN huh(it’s out of love though i promise)

he is trying to be this person at every second:

because that’s who he wishes he was, because that’s how he gets validation from the people around him that he looks up to; straight white guys. but to me, who he presents himself to be at conventions is just as much of a performance as this whole eye of the tiger bit is.

oh i should mention i know his body language isn’t naturally like that because how he naturally carries himself is actually pretty flamboyant? like he seriously must be toning himself down HARD

examples:

there’s no tension in his body here as opposed to the eye of the tiger gif. i’d describe it as...generally loose and free? he’s at ease when he moves like that and you can see it.

oh and dude!!! DUDE!!!! how could i not mention the fucking SPECTACLE that is his voice??? jensen. i watched season one. i know where your voice naturally sits. THAT IS NOT WHAT YOU SOUND LIKE. and there have been so many accounts of fans visiting jensen in his trailer and being surprised that his real voice is two octaves higher. again, his performance of masculinity is all encompassing. he can’t even talk normally because, in his mind, that’s a chink in his armour.

and, like you said, anon, this whole smokes-and-mirrors gong show of ‘i am the cool texan man’ is inherently queer. who are you trying to impress??? guys??? that’s pretty gay dude.(btw: gay[honorary])

i feel like i’ve already read this man for filth but i have to keep going bc i have so much to say

ok next thing i’m gonna talk about is how jensen says one thing but everything else about him tells us the exact opposite. another HUGE element of performative masculinity, ONE THAT DEAN WINCHESTER IS A MASTER OF. have i mentioned how dean and jensen are like mirrors of each other when it comes to their sexuality and queer identity??? because it is fascinating how everything i say about jensen also directly applies to dean.

allow me to introduce the grumpy face™. as in, the face he glues on when he’s enjoying doing something but doesn’t want to let anyone know it. and it’s ALWAYS when he’s doing something that could be seen as unmanly in any way. (and when i say manly i mean the ‘ideal’ version of manhood that doesn’t really exist but that jensen seems to be striving for[and dean too])

prime example is this video he did with daneel. the grumpy face™ doesn’t budge the whole time as he’s like,,,,playing an instrument and acting like he doesn’t want to bc i guess that’s too girly??? but i also find this video fascinating because the joke IN it is kind of that they’re both poking fun at him for being so insecure about playing a freaking flute. because, i mean, he gets into it, but he wants you to think he is not.

also this picture.

what is this. i hate them. jensen is smushing himself into misha’s forehead but noooo his face is telling us ‘i hate this’ because CLEARLY he does. also misha’s so happy ew gross

he does that face in photo ops with misha ALL THE TIME but how many times has he also literally asked the con goers if he can also have those photos on his phone too? because of course he actually loves touching misha and is actually a sentimental fool but he tries so hard to hide it and fails so spectacularly.

oh and this. and of COURSE this. actually let’s talk about the hitch kiss for a hot minute because it’s a perfect example of exactly what i’m talking about

(he is so transparent guys. he tries so hard but he’s so obvious.)

1. misha was never supposed to be onstage with him. so it’s a boldface LIE and OBVIOUS PLOY TO GET MISHA TO KISS HIM when he says ‘they’d like us to make out now’. but of course the way he says it is ‘oh my god can you believe what these crazy panel people are making us do haha but i mean what they say goes amirite’. same energy as ‘oh my god did you just dare us to kiss rn???’ ‘....no i didn’t’ ‘oh my god i can’t believe you’d ask that haha but i can’t say no to a dare lol’ it’s the SAME THING

2. the fact that he was in the worst mood before misha came onstage and FAKE KISSING HIM made him feel...SO?? much better? like not just a little better a lot better like, again, that says a lot, because if they weren’t dating he would not be in a better mood if misha kissed his cheek unprompted. bc that cheek kiss wasn’t a joke it was a genuine sign of affection and AHHHH

3. after the kiss happens. you know, the one that jensen actively leans into and is smiling like an idiot the whole time through and is quite clearly having the time of his life during....he says ‘well, that was uncomfortable’. .......my guy. um. i don’t know how to tell you that i do in fact have eyes and you are NOT pulling the fast one you think you are

like i’m so sorry jensen but i have you pegged. it’s literally no use.

god there’s so many instances of him doing this with misha specifically. the whole ‘ew gross lol’ but then everything about him tells us the exact opposite. like this(i hate this. how dare he say ‘he has though, hasn’t he?’ LIKE THAT?????)

so yeah my point with that is he really wants us to think he is one thing when he is the antithesis of what he’s trying to be. he really likes those things that he talks down about, and everything he’s loudly projecting is all to hide how he really feels. he went to a gay bar with daneel, for crying out loud. he wants to play a role in drag. he’s queer and he likes it. pov: you’re jensen ackles train of thought: ‘ok so i really like this thing that people might make fun of me for or call me gay for liking so if i just say ‘lol as if’ and make a grossed-out face they will be FOOLED. i am a genius. hey misha wanna blow on my ear lol i meAN GROSS EW’

i have two more things i want to talk about when it comes to this topic so PLEASE bear with me anon this is why you took so long to answer clearly lmao

ok so we’re now going to go over my favorite hot take of all time. which is ‘how do we know dean’s performing masculinity? because sam isn’t.’ only replace dean with jensen and sam with jared and oh my god do we ever have a case

jared is as STRAIGHT as they come. he is secure in that knowledge. and that’s why he is perfectly comfortable treating misha like this:

and not try to scream ‘i am not enjoying doing this!!!!!!’ at us. because he doesn’t care what we think of his sexuality like jensen does(because he has nothing to hide whereas jensen DOES)

something i found the other day that no one has brought up but i SCREAMED upon finding it is this one clip THAT I CAN’T FIND OH GOD but i promise i’m not making it up. i can’t believe i can’t find it guys it is gold. i need need NEED to talk about it. and if anyone knows what i’m referencing and can apply links in any way i will love you forever but here’s what happens off the top of my head:

ok so i’m a bit too braindead to explain it perfectly but um basically it’s a j2 panel and someone brings up magic mike and i think jared says ‘yeah i didn’t watch it’ and then jensen says ‘all the way through’. stupid joke. whatever. the joke is that jared is gay for watching magic mike.

and then i literally kid you not. jared gets this like ‘jesus christ ok dude? lol’ look on his face and then goes ‘projecting much, mr. ackles?’ and jensen gets a guilty look on his face and walks away. and jared did not say it as a joke. he was being dead pan and earnest. and jensen knew it too, he knew he was projecting. i wish i could show you guys the clip i promise if i ever find it i’ll link it but IS THAT NOT SO DAMNING FOR JENSEN????? like come ON. also proves my point that when you compare how they feel about watching magic mike. jared doesn’t care bc watching it just doesn’t interest him, but he also thinks that just watching it in itself doesn’t make you gay. jensen however.......has a different mindset, clearly.

‘projecting much, mr. ackles?’ is actually a great title for my next and FINAL section(we’re almost there folks) which is how jensen projects his insecurites about his own sexuality and relationship with misha onto misha.

i hope by now we’ve all seen this video of jensen impersonating cas. it is a blatant microaggression on his part. and like obviously homophobic. it’s like in his mind if he makes fun of them for being gay it makes them both less gay somehow??? it’s self-deprecation in a way??? let’s just tell it like it is: that impression was just jensen’s overt internalized homophobia rearing it’s ugly head. he does it a LOT too when it comes to misha.

i mean:

and that whole mess where he’s making fun of misha for being a bottom in their panel in 2016? ‘so you’re saying, like with football terms, there’s a handler and there’s a receiver heheheehe’ jensen you’re not exempt from being gay just because you know football terms lmao

oh and his OTHER impression of misha where he mocks him for...bicycling...because it’s not a manly enough sport??? jensen NO ONE else has ever thought this hard in their lives about what constitutes as masculine enough to be a sport before. that’s all you bud. we don’t find those jokes nearly as funny as you do. you are reaching, sir

the good news is that misha thinks it’s hilarious and knows it’s projecting on jensen’s part and will tease him endlessly for it. many stories come to mind, like that one photo op story where they’re literally dressed in rainbow banners and pride stickers but when misha goes to hold his hand jensen said something like ‘no way’ and then misha stepped back, put his hands on his hips and went ‘that’s the part that’s too gay for you???’ and jensen LOST it

or when that whole underwear thing happened(messy messY MESSY BTW) and then a fan asked a question about what dean and cas would do in rome and misha just said ‘when in rome’ and jensen makes a face like ‘are you serious’ and then misha says ‘you can’t look at me like that anymore, because of what you did!!!!!!’

OH and that whole story about when misha suggested they put jensen in the closet for that cat video....yeah um

and then when jensen was asked to do bisexual finger guns for a photo op and the con goer said ‘he looks bisexual here’ and misha literally said ‘oh he definitely looks bisexual here. i would say he’s actually closer to the gay side of the spectrum’ so..um...make with that as you will

OH MY GOD i’m finally done. wow. WOW. that was a lot. i hope i’ve blown your minds. ty anon i really wanted to talk about this and i hope you’re happy with the outcome!!!!!!

#cockles ask #sexuality spec #jensen is bi #anti rps for ts #cockles #liz answers #ok i have to admit it is crazy i have retained all this info #i hope someone appreciates it #my analysis #mine

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youranxiousnerd · 3 years

Text

The Transformation Thoughts

bc hsmtmts said gay rights

spoilers below

yesss seb doing the recap

wait did seb just say he was crying?!?! give him a hug

cow baby!!!

wow miss jenn and seb having a civil conversation

Natalie is back!!

ej and ricky with the mask

kourtney’s outfit!!!

ashlyn’s outfit...

ahh so the awards and the show are separate, good, that’s how it works

RICKY’S SHIRT!?!?!?!

i love it

ricky is lgbt do not try to convince me otherwise

ASHLYN IS SINGING IT IS BEAUTIFUL

like pop off

ricky and the mask

that mask is the true villain in season 2

“Belle, I-” flops

Ashlyn is carrying the scene, she is such a good Belle

how is ricky allowed on stage oh my god

the cap

that damn mask

“It’s okay, it was just my face”

Miss Jenn is hanging on by a thread

finally some ashlyn and ricky content

“Which they will” buddy have you faced the music? Have you seen Ricky?

“I think I might have been playing Troy at one point”

Miss Jenn needs help from someone who isn’t a teenager

“Mother is freaking out” High school theater at it’s finest

“There is math involved”

“OH”

sassy seb

i can’t with east high’s tech crew, what are you doing?!?!

and why are the actors figuring out the tech stuff?!? i’m sure kourt, big red, ashlyn (she knows all), and seb (he lives on a farm) know what to do.

the crew cannot be that bad

btw here are my thoughts on this scene

guys it is ashlyn’s house not yours

portwell shoulder bump

ASHLYN I LOVE YOU

OH SO NOW YOU HAVE DRILLS

WHERE WERE THEY WHEN THE TECHIES STARTED USING GLUE ON PLYWOOD!?!?!?!

I WANT ANSWERS

i. cannot. with. this. show.

lily wtf

“is this too weird” yes

like why?

lily like actually shut up

big red’s “wtf”

let her be evil damnit

“i’m just not well liked here” i wonder why

that was really weird, anyways

“he gets weird around tools”

me too

no give big red the drill he knows how to use it

someone write a fic about the girls and seb’s chaotic target run

why don’t you have a blackout and dramatic music and lights for the transformation, i know it isn’t award level but if done right it can be pretty dope

“I don’t know if my parents will be okay with me being at a co-ed sleepover”

“Chip, this is your mother speaking, go call your mother”

HE DID THE FINGER GUNS

GAY TABLE SIT AND FINGER GUNS THEY DID THEIR RESEARCH

ashlyn’s bucket

CARLOS GAY TABLE SIT

OH MY GOD

they’re so gay soulmates

let big red have his skateboards

“i need to talk to seb at some point but it can wait” honey no it can’t wait seb is on the verge of a breakdown

wait they havent talked in a week

Im a hypocrite ive been dancing around someone for three years

“You’re still at school”

“I’m worried about my children” “She means us”

such a high school theater thing (like i got married during high school theater, we had a family tree)

“ah, Sebby”

“Now I’m pretty sad” give him a hug

the girls ship seblos

“But, I guess he has to be, out of default, right... there’s not a lot of choices for a boy like Carlos, here, at East.”

alright here come the tears

why...why couldn’t he say “gay” or “queer” or “lgbt”?!?!

“Not so good at saying the feelings part out loud”

shiz that hit close to home.

Seb is just making me cry today, isn’t he?

wait so we’re just going to change the subject? coming from a queer person, opening up about your problems about your sexuality is hard. like, there are things that happened years ago im just telling people.

“You’re my sister, he’s my cousin”

it seems everyone except nina knows about the chocolates. imagine gossip time when gina told people write a fic

Nini just stop talking. It wasn’t a big deal, simple mistake. Not everything has to be big and dramatic

and wasn’t she just asking about Gina and Ej?

Nini for the love of god it is not something to read into.

“The farmer type”

Ash and Red exchanging gossip

wait... why are they texting about this?

“Why wouldn’t he say something to me?” It’s a hard conversation to have. “hey are we together just because i’m your only option?”

“Okay, pretty boy” HE CALLED HIM PRETTY BOY

RICKY!!!!!!!!!!

!!!

carlos and gina chaotic siblings

give ej a hug

“Sweet boy”

im so glad the guys are talking about their feelings.

Why a sleepover? It’s more of a hangout.

“Verging on failure”

jennzara therapy

slowwww burn

you go from hand holding to fist bump

disney please release an acoustic version of “let you go”

so it’s just carlos and ricky chillin’ at big red’s house?

do not play let you go for nini

do. not.

“You guys are a hallmark movie”

for once ricky is being smart

“the look on your face when you were talking about Seb tonight” smiles

he is so whipped

“I think you and Seb have something worth fighting for...bro”

that was so sweet and then there is bro

i love this show

“Sorry, I’m adjusting to being called bro”

him and seb being awkward about feelings... that is a high school relationship

i love ricky in this scene

“Yeah, let’s just write”

ASHLYN CALLED BIG RED BABE AWWWWW

nina shut the actual hell up

“It’s in the costume shop, somewhere” mood

“Thank you, 15″ THEY SAID THE THING

GAHHHH

I LOVE IT

howie and kourtney oh my god what is happening

“and begging”

“hi” he’s so nervous oh my lord.

he is so awkward around seb

it’s like a switch

“Do you want to get risotto with me sometime” OH MY GOD THATS ADORABLE

GINA BABY HE LIKES YOU

GINA HONEY!!!

AWWW THAT WAS ADORABLE

PORTWELL YESSSS

gina’s little run

“Am I in trouble?”

they’re so nervous

oh my god its time

“You keep it all bottled up” GUYS I CANT ARGGGG

can ricky just like, go behind a curtain?

“lookin’ for our kind of love” carlos basically just said “i love you”

seb is so whipped like look at him?

they’re so in love

seb’s little eye role at “in a heartbeat, i choose you”

the hands omfg

oh my god they’re going to dance

SHIZ THE HOMECOMING SUITS

I WAS RIGHT

OH MY GOD

SHIT GUYS IM DYING

gah the hands i cant

carlos is leading i love it

the tie

a tie just killed me

im combusting

You’re honor, they’re in love

i really thought carlos was going in for a kiss he is probably getting one later

i like how the dance isn’t big, it’s small and a little awkward bc right then it’s just them.

THEYRE SO IN LOVE HOLY SHIT

damnit big red

big red is legally required to interrupt almost kiss moments especially if it’s an lgbt kiss bc we cant have two in one season

in a heartbeat is so cute. Frankie showed UP this season with the vocals. there is no way that was all acting bc they looked so in love.

I...I love it

the lyrics are perfect

In a Heartbeat and Let You Go are probably the best OG songs of the season

“Siri, add In a Heartbeat to my gay sob playlist”

these boys are just serenading each other left and right

“Yeah”

so it’s just “yeah”!?!? That’s it!?!?! Seb could have least kissed him on the cheek or did they use all their kisses?

I love the song and love the scene, but there is so much more to discuss. Are we going to brush over the fact that Seb literally had an allergic reaction and didn’t get help because he didn’t want to disappoint Carlos!?!? Are we going to brush over “no, seb” and seb feeling like he has to get carlos big things!?! One “yeah” doesn’t erase all that. I’m hoping we get closure, proper closure, not a joke.

In conclusion, only one thing was settled (Carlos loves Seb for Seb, not because he is the only out guy in school).

“Seb and Carlos suffer their first fight” effing liars

BTW it looks like they filmed the dance scene with the homecoming suits and normal outfits so disney release the footage

Ricky is the biggest Seblos shipper

“Bro”

you morons. are you using rigging without an adult there?!?!

im pretty sure that isn’t allowed. only trained people were allowed to use the rigging. it should be Natalie since she did it in HSM

you should have gotten mats are something or stand in a circle

gahhh

RICKY

OH MY FRICKING GOD

NO ONE RAN THEY JUST WATCHED WTF

WTF WAS THAT ENDING

UMMMMM NO

i legit have no words oh my god

they just killed the lead

you guys saw the rope you should have ran

you should have gotten mats or blankets or something just in case

rigging is difficult, set rigging and people rigging

EAST HIGH WTF

Looks like the sleepover is going to be in the ER

My gay heart is full but my theater heart is screaming. The episode went by really fast. I liked it, like a lot.

To answer the question, no, I am not okay @organic-guacamole and we will have a theater kid sleepover

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angelhummel · 3 years

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Honestly Brittany is underhated in my opinion lmao. Like I was literally waiting for ages for someone to make a negative thread about I am unicorn on reddit so I could hate on her. Last time someone made a thread about that episode said "Kurt was an asshole to yell at Brittany. He could have kindly explained to her to remove the posters" like he did? But Brittany went to ahead and hung the posters anyway. :/

Oh hey we just watched that ep! And I hated it! I don't know if I'd call it the worse episode, but it made me more uncomfortable than Asian F and Pot o Gold, which we watched right after. Like I've never had that bad a reaction to that ep before but wow

KURT: Look, I don’t just want to be know has Kurt Hummel: Homo.

BRITTANY: What’s wrong with that? Look - 99% of the kids at school are either freaks or closet freaks. The captain of the football squad - he gets the job, but he doesn’t represent the people. That’s why we need a unicorn.

My sister asked me if I agreed with that sentiment (being sure to say "If it wasn't Brittany saying it, how would you feel?" bc that makes a difference lol) and my response was "What did she say? I just tune her out now"

I mean obviously the sentiment isn't wrong. How often do we say that almost any one of the glee clubbers would be a better leader or representative than flop hudson. I just feel like Brittany is feeding into a larger problem that I have with season 3 in regards to Kurt

Which is just how they make so many jokes about Kurt being more flamboyant and girly than he actually is. Rachel saying she wants to see Kurt in a bridesmaid’s dress. Finn saying "What's with the sparkly jacket i thought you were kurt" but then he also has a comment in s2 about "sequined riding pants". but when has kurt ever wore sequins or sparkles outside of mercedes's dreamgirls fantasy number?? and having actual adults talk about how he isn't sexy enough (call the police) and laughing him out of an audition bc he's sooo fucking gay ha ha. i kinda talk about it here if you wanna read more unrelated angry rambling

Anyway all that to say. Kurt is not straight passing! He doesn’t need to be! He’s bold, theatrical, he loves fashion, he loves Broadway, and that’s great! But the pink sparkly unicorn stuff is something Brittany tried to force on him.

Kurt loves Judy Garland. He wanted to pay tribute to her with his campaign posters, hearkening back to her Blackglama fur coat ad. Something that references a beloved icon of the queer community, and fashion history at the same time. Two things that are very Kurt

But with Brittany, all nuance and clever reference is gone. She puts ruby slippers in the goody bag, just because they’re sparkly and flamboyant. They reference Judy in the most cliche and obvious way possible. Even if someone wants to claim it was her own version of a clever reference, she still has more pointless stuff in there as well. Unicorns, a teletubby, hair bands?? What does any of this have to do with Kurt or what he likes or represents?

And obviously there is nothing wrong with being the most flamboyant gay person you want to be. Pink and sparkles and rainbows obviously aren’t bad on their own. Not trying to sound like the shitty old “Gay people I respect vs gay people I don’t respect” meme. It’s just. Every gay person is more than their sexuality. No matter how flamboyant they are, how they dress, how many rainbows they wanna slap on everything. That’s still a whole person. Just bc all YOU see is a giant rainbow flag, that doesn’t mean that’s all they are

Brittany thinks being gay is nothing but pink unicorns and rainbow glitter. How is that any different from the shit Karofsky or Azimio or any other bully says about Kurt?? At the end of the day it’s just someone trying to cram him in a tiny little box that he is far too big, too bold, too nuanced to fit into

I mean god fucking forbid, but imagine if Brittany was “helping” Mercedes run for president like this. Telling her that being black should be her main personality trait, and filling a goody bag with items that are Brittany’s idea of what being “black” means to HER 💀💀 (I mean anybody with common sense could see it was insane, but her stans would react the same way and make Mercedes the bad guy when she reacted poorly bc what else is new lol)

And all her dumbass unicorn talk literally made Kurt start to dislike that part of himself! Like he’s always been bullied for it but he was still unapologetically himself. But Brittany’s campaign idea contributed to Kurt thinking he needed to change himself, and saying he was tired of being a unicorn. And in s3 he starts wearing more drab colors and all these sweaters and capes and he’s bundling himself up like he’s protecting himself and it makes me sad. And they bring in a completely new character that looks like Kurt just to call Kurt ugly and a girl and make fun of him. It drives me up a fucking wall! Season 3 is so awful to Kurt i literally can’t stand it. And it all starts with Brittany :) Thanks for that. Girl power!

And after dealing with the pain and humiliation of literally being laughed out of an audition BY MEMBERS OF THE FACULTY for being “too gay” Kurt is faced with the bright pink unicorn posters with his face on him that say “This is your box! This is all you will ever be!” and wow i can’t imagine why he’d be upset with Brittany for that!! Who’da thunk??? Brittany was a selfish idiot for hanging them up. Kurt had every right to be upset. And Santana was an idiot for invalidating Kurt’s feelings and just boosting Brittany up when she was obviously in the wrong. But that’s Br*ttana for you :)

I’m not even happy about Kurt “accepting” the posters and hanging them up himself and making that his campaign theme. That’s the version of Kurt that someone else made up in their head. That’s not him. He is so much more than Brittany’s tiny little brain could ever even comprehend lol. So yeah. I hate her :)

#glee #kurt hummel #season 3 #asks #answered #my thoughts #anti brittany pierce #lol brittany pierce #ghostpavarotti #long post #anti brittana #lol brittana

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