#but man had some fucked shit going on!! you were their leader sir!!!

[the-avs]

Promo~?

As the camera flickers to life, thanks to some fiddling by a man in a blue suit, you were able to see four individuals. The TV-faced man sat back down, sighing and breathing heavily, as though he had just performed serious labor. On the far left, just beside the TV-headed man, was another man with red hair and deer ears, and a sinister smile painting his lips as he sipped on what looked like black coffee. On the other side of the TV man, there was another man smoking a cigar with pink fumes swirling around the room, and wearing a large red coat with striped neck fluff. And finally, on the far right, there was the only girl in the room, a young lady with red, white, and black swirled hair, scrolling on her phone with a bored expression. She appears the most trendy of them all in terms of her clothing.

"Phew..." the TV man panted, turning to face the deer-eared man beside him. "Fuck, Alastor, why did you insist on this camera?" he demanded between breaths, the deer man simply lowering his mug from his lips and setting it down onto a coaster on the table.

"Ah, tsk, tsk, darling. You simply don't know the difference between class and 'trendy'. Rest assured, an older camera will do us just fine," the man assured. He then tilted his head, his smile never dropping, although he looked confused. "So I suppose it's on then, yes?"

"The fuck- Of course it's on! We're rolling! Fuck, let's just go down the line. Vel, you first, because I can't breathe," the TV man insisted, drawing out a groan from the girl. She didn't put her phone down, but she did spare you a look, looking at you with a bored expression.

"Fine. Name's Velvette, youngest overlord and ruler of social media 'n shit. Yadda yadda, you get the gist, don't be a dick, don't be a fashion disaster, and we'll get along fine," she listed as though it was nothing before quickly returning her gaze back to her phone.

The man beside the young woman gave a sinister smirk, a sickening look of lust painting his already creepy face. "Heya, sweet cheeks. Name's Valentino, owner of the Pride Ring's porn industry. Need a guy, a girl, something in between? I got you. I also accept 'sir' or 'daddy'~." Creep. Luckily, the attention is quickly taken off of him when the TV-headed man feigns a cough to get your attention.

"Ignore him, ignore him," he tried to laugh it off and be nonchalant. Valentino was still creepy, though. "I'm Vox, of course, the CEO and main engineer of VoxTek and numerous other products you may have heard of, including Voot Floops, VVs, the sound system Valkyrie, and of course, the Vogitek music app, not to mention VoxTube and the like. Pleased to make your acquaintance~" he said in a charmingly fake, yet professional tone, clearly attempting to maintain the appearance of the group's leader.

"Vox, darling, this isn't an advertisement," the man beside Vox said with a chuckle, a Cheshire grin spreading on his face. "Greetings, you wayward sinners! I'm certain most of you already know of me, but for formalities and politeness sake, I'll introduce myself. You may know me as the Radio Demon, my name is Alastor, darling! A pleasure to meet you, certainly, quite a pleasure! Now then, you see, we on the AVs have been rather bored as of late, and we'd like to socialize with those around us, so... would you be so kind as to give us a promo, dear~?"

(( Feel free to ignore, interact if not tagged, or ask for your tag to be removed!! :D ))

@human-monokuma @unknown-ultimates @ultimate-rider @pizza-for-my-friends @bartender-husk @bigkaijubaddie @hellhound-loony @hoshi-neko-hikari and anyone else!! Tagging is hard lmao-

#📱 — the internet princess ◆ velvette #🔞 — the simping pimp ♥︎ valentino #🖥 — the tv star ★ vox #📻 — the radio demon ♠︎ alastor

[ravenmichaelisstuff]

"Better late than never" part 9

  COLORING BOOK

Since Soap learned how to make Ghost’s tea, a cup of it waited for him every morning right next to Johnny's coffee- prompting the lieutenant to sit next to the Scot. Ghost didn’t really need any prompting, Ghost’s place was always right next to Soap after he saved him that place on the plane.

Although today there was something extra next to his mug when he sat in the mess hall. 

“What’s that?” Ghost gestured at the item.

“‘Hello, Soap.’ Hi Lt! ‘Thanks for the tea Soap.’ No problem Sir.” The sergeant said to himself, looking disappointed at the taller man. Ghost just blinked at Soap, unamused. Soap rolled his eyes. “Just something for you to do while I am gone.”

“What do you mean?”

“I will be showing our future demolition experts how to properly blow up some old buildings a little farther away from the base. I will be back for supper.” The Scot was visibly excited, rubbing his hands together, already thinking about all the things he will set ablaze that day.

“Why without me?” Everyone knew that they were attached at the hip, even if the lieutenant would rather eat a bullet than admit that. They were always sent on missions as a team, they worked great together. They even trained rookies together since if Ghost were to do it alone the poor bastards would be dead by the end of it. Soap had a way more friendly demeanour. Recruits not only liked the sergeant but he had this special ability to encourage them to do better- not for him but for themselves.

 Ghost knew that Soap is a better leader, better than he himself will ever be. Johnny was charismatic and kind, always putting everyone else before himself. And Soap was so fucking smart, it brought Ghost physical pain to see him dumb it down for the entertainment of others. People would follow after Soap in battle, Ghost would and honestly he hopes that he will survive to see the day Johnny gets to be a captain. Because he fucking deserves it.

But that’s not the point right now- why today they got separated?

“From what ah’ know you are no expert on explosives so there is no reason for ye to tag along. Gaz will be joining me, and as a lieutenant, you have better things to do, don’t ye?” 

Ghost frowned under the balaclava, he didn’t like leaving Soap alone and being left alone on base- or more like he didn’t like not having the Scot by his side. Ghost can pretend to be annoyed with Soap, but he is aware that the man makes his days a little bit more tolerable.

“Ah, Lt… you make a face lik’ ye actually gonna miss me.” Soap laughed.

“Piss off, you can’t see my face.” But MacTavish was right, he will miss him- even if only for a few hours.

“Ye are easier to read than you think Simon.” Soap looked him in the eyes, smiling softly. “I gotta go or Price will kill me for delaying shit again.” He got up and patted Ghost’s shoulder.

“Don’t teach them to make makeshift nukes in their’s room.”

“When it’s all the fun!” Shouted Soap, disappearing behind the exit doors. Ghost couldn’t stop a chuckle from coming out under his balaclava.

Ghost was going to take his tea to his room since without Johnny there was no point in sitting in a crowded space, but his attention came back to the mysterious objects. He grabbed the first one, which was a small tin box filled with coloured pencils- way nicer that the crayons they used once for doodling. The pencils weren’t in the usual vibrant rainbow colours but in nicely toned down, darker ones. Every single pencil was engraved with gold writing ‘Prismacolor’, Ghost never saw pencils like that. His knowledge of art supplies was very limited. All he knew was that the HB pencil is the best only because Johnny said so.

The second thing turned out to be a colouring book, but not just any colouring book. With Soap there was no normal. The front page of it read ‘Fuck off! I am colouring’ which was honestly amusing to Ghost. He thumbed through the pages, only briefly looking at the designs. They were all filled with swear words.

Soap expected Ghost to colour it, but he was sure that the thing will be probably lying somewhere in his room, untouched. Kept only because he got it from Johnny. 

Ghost didn’t even get to take his tea to his room when his phone lit up. He got a message from Price

 ‘My office. NOW.’

The Brit groaned and walked to his Captain’s office, colouring book and pencils stuffed in his pocket.

***

Ghost had enough of that day, the world seemed to hate him.

First, when he entered Price’s office he was met with an apologetic look from the older man. They weren’t alone in the room, a middle-aged woman introduced herself and said she was a major. She looked very pissed. She showed them some papers with numbers that Ghost didn’t understand, telling him that there is too many KIAs on the missions he leads. That he should be better because that is what they expected.

No one had in mind that Ghost was usually being sent on a literal mission impossible like he was some kind of sorcerer that could make a shit intel about very dangerous ‘whatever’ work only because he is the Ghost. People expected him to perform miracles, but in the end, he was the one collecting dog tags from the fallen soldiers. It wasn’t even like he didn’t blame himself- because he did. He blamed himself for ever agreeing to lead the mission, to ever allow it to happen. Sometimes he felt like the shit intel wasn’t at fault- maybe he really could make better decisions?

Price couldn’t stand the woman any longer and he very nicely told her that they have some important things to discuss. The woman left, saying that she will be back if the numbers don’t go down.

“People are not a statistic you can change, son. Don’t pay attention to the old hag.“ Price tried to sympathize.

 It didn’t make Ghost feel any better about himself, he just stood in the middle of the office waiting for Price to dismiss him. The man signed.

“I will make sure not to take tasks from her ever again. You can go.”

Ghost never left that room so fast. He felt like shit.

Then his hands were trembling for the rest of the day. He wanted to clean some of his guns but he couldn’t do it so he went to his room thinking he could catch up with his paperwork. But it only made it worse since he had to write reports from those forsaken failed missions. He caught himself wishing Johnny was there to help him, to just speak endlessly about his day so Ghost can listen and forget for a while about everything else.

Ghost looked forward to the dinner.

***

As soon as it was past 6 pm Ghost started to worry, because Soap didn’t yet barge in blabbering about all the explosives he got to detonate today. Ghost knew that the sergeant knew what he was doing, but he didn’t know all the rookies and their abilities. He pushed that filling away and went to the mess hall thinking that maybe Soap was simply hungry after the course and stopped there to eat something.

But he wasn’t there. The training must have just extended in time.

Ghost grabbed himself a meal and sat at an empty table hoping that the Scot will finally show up. While he was at it something fell out of his pocket- the colouring book. He picked it up.

Fuck it

He also put the pencils on the table. Ghost went through the pages in search for something interesting. He picked one with ‘Ask your doctor if shutting the fuck up is right for you.’ in the middle- it made him smirk.

He picked a pencil and started filling out the design. He was surprised to get really into it. He was extremely focused on not going over the lines, filling the space in the colour pattern he choose. The pencils were extremely smooth and glided on paper with no problem allowing him to blend the colours with no problem when he realized that he can. No one will stop him and tell him to fill out one area only with a single colour. At some point his hands stopped trembling, Soap calmed him down even from far way.

***

When Soap came back buzzing with all the good feelings blowing stuff brought him, he didn’t expect to see what he did. Even if he was late for supper with Gaz, Ghost was still sitting there hunched over the damn colouring book he got him. He was completely engrossed in it- John smiled. What made him even more satisfied were the looks Ghost received from everyone around him.

The soldiers remaining in the mess hall looked flabbergasted, Even Gaz who stood next to him looked mildly surprised to see the big ol’ Ghost so focused on colouring.

“I told ye getting him the good pencils will be worth it.” Soap crossed his arms and looked at Garrick.

Kyle shook his head with a chuckle. “You would get him the expensive ones even if he were to throw them away. Which he wouldn’t.”

“Yeah… I would.”

Gaz ruffled Soap’s hair. “You are a whipped, man.”

And yeah, there was no point in denying it.

I struggled at the start but when I got into it it was really nice to write. I am a little worried that I am focusing on stuff not relevant to the prompt but it really helps me build the story. I hope you all like it and I love to read your thoughts <3 PROMPT BY @/Riolee on Ao3 and expanded by @u5an5

Part 1

#no beta we die like Ghost's family #soapghost #ghostsoap #ghost x soap #john soap mactavish #cod #cod mw2 #soap cod #soap mctavish #cod modern warfare #ghost cod #simon ghost riley #soap x ghost #ghostsoap fanfic #cod headcanons #cod soap #cod fanfic #soapghost fluff #bltn soapghost fic

[zai-doodles]

In your fairy tail will Laxus be different, guy was too much of a prick to accept his change of heart or that "deep down, he's a good guy", he threatened to kill the entire city just because he had daddy issues.

i have so many opinions ive been avoiding answering this until i had time to write an essay so here you go.

So, i personally, feel like fairy tail has a really weird habit of having characters do extremely irredeemable shit, say several times that the character is enjoying what their doing, then have their character do a 180 several arcs later because after fighting fairy tail they just saw the light or some shit.

Like i was rewatching the Battle of Fairy Tail arc and lauxus is just... so awful? and the way they try to redeem him with the spell shit not working like sir he was going to kill everyone maybe we dont give him a pass?

all this to say heres how I would rewrite the battle of fairy tail:

Ok so i'd keep Laxus' resentment of Makorav over the banishment of his dad, the only thing keeping laxus in ft is knowing one day hes going to inherit the guild. He works his ass off to become as powerful as he can in order to live up to that legacy but also...

He hates it there.

Specifically, the ones who grew up in the guild (ie erza, mira, natsu, gray, etc) because he always felt like makorav embraced them more than laxus.

So he works hard and keeps his head down, picking fights more out of resentment than anything the other guild members did. I think some of the older guild members who remember Ivan are very wary of Laxus but not afraid just... keeping an eye out.

Laxus reads it as pity.

Once Laxus grows up, hes arrogant, entitled, and selfish. He puts his everything into becoming the best and surrounds himself with yes men (the thunder legion im getting to them) who boost his ego.

Then one day he overhears some fairy tail members spreading a rumor that Makorav is going to retire...

And Erza is going to become the next guild master.

And it fucking breaks something inside him.

I think Laxus resents Erza the most because its just so clear Makorav favors her over everyone. Shes so perfect and humble and honorable and...

Everything Laxus isn't.

So he sets up a plan. He's going to take the guild by force.

ok so it happens basically the same as canon right up until the end. Before the timer runs out Laxus demands Makorav hand the guild over to him before all these people get hurt.

Makorav shows up to confront laxus and instead of doing or saying anything, he just quietly walks up to laxus and stands in front of him.

Laxus starts to panic and yells about how the old man has to give up or everyone is going to die. Outside fairy tail is taking down the dome but its not enough.

Laxus grows more erratic but Makorav says nothing.

The timer runs out and nothing happens.

Laxus sighs in defeat. He's been caught.

He was bluffing.

See the plan laxus and the thunder legion made was simple, they'd prove themselves the strongest by beating the entire guild and once everyone was taken out, makorav would have no choice to hand the guild over since no one was left to stop the thunder dome.

the body link magic still hurt any attackers just to make them seem more real, but they were only really there to pressure Makorav into caving.

Laxus didnt account for his grandpa having faith in him.

However the power grab couldn't be ignored, attacking the guild and even just threatening the city leads to laxus getting banished.

The thunder legion decide to leave fairy tail but laxus forbids them from following him anymore, not feeling worthy of being their leader anymore. So the thunder legion kinda just go off on their own as a trio for the time being.

Idk if this feels lame to others but to me its better than having laxus fully believe hes going to kill everyone and go through with it (even if the spell didnt work) only to redeem him later. It just feels weird to me? idk im not a great writer but this is just my lil rewrite.

as a treat have my bickslow redesign

shhh ik its not v good im still work shopping it but this is like, my third attempt so just take it for now

#fairy tail #zai talks #zaidoodles #bickslow #redesign

[bobbyseyesmile]

Pride and Passion | 18

Chapter 18

Warnings: mentioning of violence (Simon being Simon I guess)

A/N: it’s a short one, i apologize 🥲

⤝ Previous chapter| next chapter ⤞ ➻ Pride and Passion masterlist

Simon reached the end of his cigarette and flicked it away as he stared into the distance. He stood atop of the Sanctuary building, eyeing the woods and some highways which were some further away.

The sun began to set and he waited for Negan to come back after being gone for two days, visiting Alexandria again.

It was obvious that the fearless leader of the Saviors had a weak spot for his newest wife- a young and dumb thing, thinking she could make demands and flaunting her attitude in front of everyone. For the love of God, Simon hated her.

That’s why he didn’t understand why Negan acted like a weak ass pussy when it came to that spoiled brat. If it would have been up to Simon to take manners into his own hands, he would have slaughtered the whole town of Alexandria and put a bullet between that set of innocent eyes of Y/N.

Negan always said that people were resources but Rick and his group cost the Saviors more resources than they received- they lost a good bunch of men, weapons and surely the respect of some of the people here. And respect, so Simon thought, was the most important thing.

“Simon!” a man yelled and he turned around, casually putting the riffle on his shoulder. “We’ve found something.”

“I’ll be down in a minute.” He yelled back and started to climb down.

The men still continued to search for Amber, one of the wives who managed to escaped with her former boyfriend. Simon was pissed to learn about their disappearance; it happened under his supervision but at least he was here at the Sanctuary instead of Negan, right? That had to count for something. If the leader wouldn’t leave his people that much on their own, he could manage his shit. And if he wouldn’t have brought Y/N along, the other wife would have never escaped. It was a goddamn mess.

And who was it that had to smooth everything out? Simon.

“Just make me the fucking leader already…” he grumbled to himself and finally reached the other men.

“We found this.” One of the man held a piece of clothing in his hand; a black dress. “Found it on some walker but it’s definitely the dress of a wife, right?”

“Impressive.” Simon raised his eyebrows. “Tried to deceive us with some cheap trick, huh.”

“Maybe the walker was the wife?” Simon turned his head to look at a young soldier who arrived a few months ago.

“Did the rotten lady had some long, blonde hair?” Simon asked in an ironic tone and the younger man quickly shook his head.  “Well then, son, I’m going out on a limb and say it wasn’t Amber, what do you think?”

“No, sir.” The younger one adjusted his posture as well as his weapon and Simon gave him a pitiful look. Young and naïve- the most pathetic mixture there was.

“Good work for today, its getting dark soon, we’ll continue tomorrow.” Simon declared and the other ones nodded their head.

“Should we tell Negan?”

“He isn’t back, yet.”

The soldiers gave each other a quick side glance but Simon saw it and smirked. “Speak your mind, soldier.”

A man with dirty-blonde hair nervously stepped from one foot to another when all eyes were on him. “We just thought… well, isn’t it weird that Negan is so much out these days? He never did that with other communities, he always sent his men.”

“And that young thing by his side? She got a mouth on her. He’d never allow such behavior from the others.” Silent approval went through the round and some nodded their head.

“He literally ironed Dwight’s face, didn’t he?” another one said. “Negan killed for far less and she’s constantly acting up!”

“Yes.” Simon spoke and stroked his beard. The men were right… It wouldn’t take long before others would see it as well, maybe even the workers. And then the Sanctuary would face a riot and that he couldn’t allow. “He’s gone a lot. But I’d say we’re doing a pretty good job, huh? Keeping the Sanctuary smooth and running.” He said and received agreement.

The young soldier suddenly scoffed and had Simons attention once again. “We shouldn’t question the leader!”

Simon started laughing and the others joined when he turned towards them, gesturing towards their young comrade. “Look at him! Speaking out like that? You’ve got some balls, young man. I appreciate that.”

The young one swallowed when Simon took a step closer, staring into dark, cold eyes. “You’re right- we shouldn’t question Negan.” He relaxed when Simon gave him a pat on the shoulder. “But Negan’s not here.” A single shot echoed through the air.

The other ones took a step back when the body of their younger colleague dropped to the floor, a gaping hole in the middle of his face.

“Gentlemen-“ Simon spoke and put his gun back into its holster “This is going to be our little secret, understood?”

The soldiers quickly nodded their heads and Simon slapped his hands together, grinning from ear to ear. “Splendid! Hard enough to keep everything else at bay and our people safe with Negan gone. It’s our duty to keep everything under control, we don’t need some little rat to run his mouth by the leader, right?”

“Right.” The man with the dirty-blonde hair spoke and the others agreed as well.

“Great. Get to your stations for the night-“ Simon looked down to the dead body to his feet “And clean that up.”

Taglist: @toxicink @jaywinchestersalvatore @crosshajr @neganswoman @tonestark @missmiauz @ellablossom @abbiesxox @fullwattpadmusictree @lover1307 @shadylilac @xsecretsirenx @sstrxnges @sanctuaryforthelost @carlyi @r3dskywaterfall @liviav @cobainlover @paigeys-posts @star017 @crumbssss @eggheacl @neganzbeard @tonysterco @itsmiamalfoy (if you want to be added, pls let me know)

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You’ll only find my work posted here and and on my AO3 blog. I don’t give consent for my work to be re-posted (in any language) onto any other platform, even if it is with credit. Thank you.

#Negan #TWD #the walking dead #negan x reader #negan smut #twd negan #negan fanfiction #negan imagine #negan fic #negan smith #carl grimes #rick grimes #twd fic #twd imagine #maggie rhee #daryl dixon #amc the walking dead #smut #fanfiction #jeffrey dean morgan #jdm smut #JDM #pride and passion #negan x Y/N #pride and passion chapter 18

[roley-poley-foley]

Contains Noah being a brat

"Sir Joakim." The prince gestured around vaguely. "Late is the hour."

He'd spoken six words and already drained Jolly of his remaining patience. It had to be some kind of record.

Jolly straightened up from his bow. "My apologies. The roads from here to the coast are overrun. We responded immediately to your call, but it took us some time to get back."

"Hm. Who trained you to make excuses?"

Jolly wished he could slap the brat. Even his stoic bodyguard, Ruffilo, frowned a little.

"We didn't dally. I would invite you to come out with us and see for yourself, but we needed every man fighting just to stay alive."

Noah's face filled with rage. Nobody needed Jolly to do more than imply; the lazy prince probably couldn't even hold a sword and they all knew it. That kind of weakness may be acceptable up north, but in the cold south, leaders were expected to hold their own when necessary.

It wasn't smart to point it out, though.

"We are here to serve, now," Jolly said, "I'm guessing few will be heading that way until this crisis is resolved anyway."

"Yours was the last company to return," Noah told him, an edge to his tone, "Maybe once the villages around us are secure, we can deal with your problem. You'll attend a briefing tomorrow." He gave a dismissive wave.

Jolly bowed deeply, turned and trudged out of the room. He knew he'd pay for his comment, but for now he was just grateful to finally head down to the barracks to find a soft bed to pass out in.

Although the others were mostly either in bed or quietly readying themselves, Nick seemed to have been waiting for Jolly; he nearly leapt up to greet him as he entered.

"I've made your bed, sir." He pointed to the neatly made bed beside, presumably, his own. "Your clothes are laid out."

Jolly stared at him. "I can't believe I want to knight you. I'm never going to have a squire like you again."

He grinned. "We all need a good night's sleep. Gods know what the prince has in store for us."

They kept their voices low as Jolly headed to his bed, Nick already helping him out of his armour. "Don't be too disappointed, but it might be bad."

"Did you start shit with him already? We just got here!"

Jolly chuckled. "I'm just saying, I'd never let a page of mine behave that way." He groaned and rolled his arms as he was freed from the steel armour. "Fuck, I could sleep for a week."

A few people around them grumbled their agreement; it was early in the night, but the journey had been arduous.

"The pleasure houses are gonna get busy," Folio said with a grin.

#cyblurb #au: princely curse

[m-jelly]

Hi Jelly!

Can I request a oneshot of Captain Levi Ackerman x Anne Boleyn! reader who is bold, passionate, kind and intelligent, and speaks her opinions without a sh*t. Scenario: The Reader came from a noble, well-off family, and decided to run away when she heard that her father and uncle decided to used her to seduce the king and gain some political advantages, but she refused stating that she would rather die to be the mistress of the king rather than marrying a man she loved.

So she ran away from home, and decided to join the Survey Corps to which she ends up capturing everyone's attention including Captain Levi due to her bold, brazen & kind-hearted but witty and intelligent personality.

You can end how it ends, thank you :))

Sure thing. I'm going to contain a little information page about Anne Boleyn so people know a little bit more about my country's history. I will also be changing a few things with the plot, seeing as there is one King in AOT, people aren't allowed to get close to him. So, it'll be probably a rich merchant instead.

@kenkopanda-art Thank you, he's beautiful <3

Choosing a different path.

Pairing: Levi x Reader

Genre and tags: Canon AU, romance, falling in love, time skips, becoming a couple, being a couple, growing old together.

Concept: Sick of your father treating you like you're more of an object than a person, you decide to chase a dream of making a difference. You train hard in the main core, then sign up to the scouts at a much older age than most do (usually 15, but you're much older). You join during the time Levi loses his friends to the titan. You both don't click at first, but the way you are around people gets you noticed by the outspoken Levi. Levi helps you control your temper a little as you bond over the years. Eventually, you both fall in love, but it takes time.

First opinions

Levi watched you as you talked with a small group of scouts. He frowned a little at your outgoing personality. He liked that you could throw around a few dirty jokes, but you had this pent up anger inside you and it kept leaking out. He knew it was to do with your family background, but it was really none of his business.

He'd been watching you for a bit, mainly because you were confident and you happily put yourself in a lot of situations that others would run away from. He knew that you were probably going places and likely be a top scout in Erwin's division because you were a leader.

Levi stood up when you approached him. "Tch, brat."

You frowned at him. "Grumpy ass."

"You do know I'm a superior, right?"

You shrugged. "Then act like one."

He followed you as you walked. "I could discipline you for that."

You turned and walked backwards. "Then do it."

"Cleaning duty, for two months."

You stopped. "Two months? Are you serious?"

He walked past you. "You showed me attitude and you challenged me." He looked back at you. "Careful what you say, you're not at home with daddy with a silver spoon in your mouth. You're a soldier now, so act like it. It's about being a team, not a selfish little shit who wanted to rebel against daddy and now feels like they have a fucking right to rebel here against everyone."

You sighed. "Yes, sir."

He stopped and sighed. "Look." He turned to you. "I know you had a shit time with your dad controlling everything, but you joined the military and the scouts which are full of controlling people. You come here for order, to be disciplined, to work as a team and to save lives. You have to remember though that everyone is here for a reason and you are not the main character. Got it?"

You nodded. "Yes, sir."

"If you wanna make your mark here, don't do it through these means. Make a difference to people, work hard, work as a team and help others."

You gulped hard and felt a thick lump there. "I understand, sir. I'll do my best."

"Good, now get to cleaning."

Getting along

Levi smiled a tiny bit as you laughed hard at his joke while you were scrubbing the floors. Due to you being put on cleaning duty for two months, you'd been getting to know the Captain and he was getting to know you. You both had a lot more in common than you first thought.

Levi was getting on with you more because you were changing. After his comment to you, you'd been very proactive. You took on a lot of shifts and helped train the other scouts in your group. You supported your superiors with their paperwork and did what you could.

You packed the cleaning things away and sighed. "Is that okay?"

Levi looked everything you did over and nodded. "Good work."

You smiled in pride. "Thanks."

"Come on, we're going to have some tea."

You followed him. "Really?"

He nodded. "Yeah."

"I'd like to, sir."

He nodded and led you to his office. He made tea for you and him and put it all down on the coffee table. "Sit." He looked over at you. "Tch, you look like you can't shit. We're here to socialise, not a Captain and cadet, okay?"

You relaxed a little. "Thanks, sir."

He handed you a cup of tea. "Levi."

Your hands hugged your cup. "Thank you, Levi."

"Pleasure." He sat back and sipped his tea. "How are you getting on with everyone?"

"Good, better. I took your advice and I'm not so much of an aggressive ass." You looked over at Levi. "You should give it a try."

He snorted a laugh. "Funny."

You smiled a little. "You're a nice guy, you know?"

"People will think you're weird for saying that."

You hummed a laugh. "Why?"

"People don't find me attractive and nice."

You smiled. "Never said anything about attractive."

He blushed. "Tch, you know what I mean."

You downed your tea. "Well, if we're talking about attractiveness, then I think you're very attractive, handsome actually." You poured yourself another cup. You sat back and smiled at him. "You're a lot nicer than you think."

"Most people are scared of me, or they think the sun shines out of my ass."

You leaned and looked at his bum. "I don't see it."

"Brat."

You smiled a little. "That's me." You sighed. "Do you lash out at people because you're scared of them getting close, and being close means the greater the loss?"

He thought about your words for a moment. "I guess."

"Besides, it better to let people in and enjoy the time you had with them, instead of question what you missed."

He frowned a little. "What are you? Some feelings doctor?"

You laughed. "No, but advice is advice. Take it or leave it."

There for each other

Levi limped down the hall and only had one person in mind he needed to see. He'd just lost his squad to the female titan and his ankle was fucked thanks to him helping Mikasa. He felt like he was falling apart, but there was only one person in the world who could comfort him.

He lightly knocked on your door and opened it. He called your name and smiled a little. "Hey."

You looked up at Levi and gave him a pained smile. "Hey. Come on in."

He limped over and sat on the sofa. He let out a sad sigh. "You and Petra were best friends, right?"

You nodded as you fought tears. "Yeah." You frowned and cleared your throat. "I'm sorry for your loss. You had an incredible team."

"I did."

You turned your head away from Levi as you cried quietly. "S-Sorry."

Levi placed his hand on your back. "Don't be sorry. You have every right to feel this way."

You turned to Levi. "They deserved better, they did."

"I agree."

"Can I hug you?"

He nodded. "Yeah."

He lifted his head as your moved yours to just under his chin and nuzzled. He blushed as you held him and softly cried. He rubbed your back and sniffed back tears. He let himself grieve with you, he let himself feel the pain of loss. He closed his eyes and thought of his squad.

You pulled back after a while and sniffed. "I'll make us a cup of tea."

"Thanks."

You cleared your throat as you made a pot. "How's your ankle?"

He stretched his leg out. "Pretty shit."

You walked over with the tea. "Shit huh? Well, if it makes you feel any better at least it matches you."

Levi stared at you. "Are you calling me shit?"

You laughed and put the tray down. "Just lightening the mood."

He hummed a laugh. "Good joke."

You handed him a cup of tea. "You out of commission for a while then?"

"Yeah."

You smiled a little. "You'll bounce back. You're strong."

He looked down into his tea. "Strong..."

You leaned over and kissed his shoulder. "Yeah, strong."

Levi blushed a little. "Tch, you suck at aiming."

"What?"

He gulped. "You missed my cheek."

You leaned close and kissed his cheek. "Better?"

He nodded shyly. "Much."

Becoming a couple

Levi gulped hard and gave himself a little pep talk. He nodded to himself and walked right over to you as you sat on the wall looking out at the view the scout base had. He couldn't help but admire you in the light of the setting sun.

He sat down next to you and cleared his throat. "Evening."

You smiled at Levi. "Evening."

He shuffled a little. "About last night."

You laughed. "It happens Levi, people do randomly kiss others when they've had a few to drink."

He gulped hard. "Thing is, I wasn't drunk. I was sober and it wasn't random."

You looked over at Levi. "Meaning?"

"Meaning, the kiss was intentional."

You locked eyes with Levi. "So, you wanted to kiss me and you kissed me."

"Yes."

You moved closer. "Do you want to kiss me again?"

He nodded. "Yes."

You took the lead and pressed your lips softly against his. You smiled when he exhaled through his nose like his whole body relaxed. You hummed when he slid his hand along your cheek and deepened the kiss. Levi jumped off the wall and faced you. He stood between your legs and tangled his fingers in your hair. He pulled you closer and kissed you again. His tongue moved with yours as passion filled him.

He pulled back and panted. "I want to be with you. Do you want to be with me?"

You nodded a little and smiled. "Yes. Do you?"

"Yes."

Leaving the scouts

You put the last of your things in your bag before turning to Levi. You smiled a little at him. "It feels weird leaving the scouts."

He hummed and grabbed your biggest bag. "Yeah, you ran away from your family to be here, yet now you're leaving."

You hugged yourself with one arm. "I wish I could stay, but after getting injured during the Shiganshina retake, I have to leave."

Levi stared at you as he remembered how you looked with fresh burns on your skin. He stared at the bandage on your neck and knew the extent of the damage done to you. He was surprised you were alive. He still thought you were the most beautiful woman in the world to him. It wasn't your choice to leave, but in fact, you were told to leave due to being too hurt.

Levi wrapped his arms around you and held you close. "I love you. You know that, right?"

You wrapped your arms around him and cried a little. "Yeah, I know."

"I love you so much."

You sniffed a little. "I love you too." You gripped his back. "Thank you, for not giving up on me."

He pulled back a little to look you in the eyes. "I would never give up on you." He leaned closer and kissed you. "Come on, let's move you into your new home."

You sniffed and grabbed your lightest bag. "Yeah."

He walked with you through the base with people's eyes following you. He glared at the people who stared because he knew they just wanted to stare at the girl with burns. He wanted to protect you and make you feel beautiful because to him you were. He loved every inch of you. Having burns from titans and living was rare, so the fascination with you was going to be a long one, maybe for life.

You unlocked the front door of your cottage and let Levi in. "I was thinking about getting a dog and a cat, you know, for company. The cat can help keep the mouse population down and the dog can keep me protected."

Levi frowned. "I can do all that."

You laughed as you put your bags down. "You can't always be here. You are still a member of the scouts, so you're needed with them."

"You need me."

You sat on the arm of your sofa. "I do, but you're the best chance the scouts have at winning."

He walked up to you and kissed you. "I just want you to say you need me."

You smiled a little. "I need you, Levi Ackerman. I need you. I will always need you." You cupped his face and smiled. "Will you stay with me tonight? I haven't slept alone in years because me and you have always been together."

He held your hands. "I'll stay. I'll make dinner too. I made sure they stocked up your place."

You smiled as you watched Levi get food things out. You giggled a little. "I like this view. Makes me think we're a married couple."

Levi hummed. "Well, maybe we should do it. We should get married."

You smiled a little. "I'd like that. Only if you mean it."

"Oh, I mean it, Mrs Ackerman."

After the war

Levi leaned on his walking stick as he walked out into the garden. He smiled at his dog sleeping with his cat sleeping on the dog's back. He hummed a laugh, then looked over at you with your arms on show meaning he could see the burns that had healed up.

Levi frowned when he heard cooing. He leaned around and saw his baby strapped to your chest and wide awake. "Thought you were supposed to be asleep."

You looked down at your baby. "Hey, your daddy is right! You're supposed to be sleeping."

"Why don't I take them? You're working hard."

You stood up and sighed. "I was just finishing anyway. I'll put them in their outdoor bed." You unstrapped your baby and lay them in the bouncing bed outside. "There you bounce away little one."

Levi smiled down at his kid squealing with laughter as they bounced. "Beautiful." He looked up at you. "Just like you."

You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him. "You're so handsome."

"Look at me."

"I am."

He sighed. "My face is messed up."

You kissed along his scar. "I see a handsome man in front of me. You love me with my burns, and I love you with your scars."

He hummed a laugh. "I guess you're right."

You helped him to sit in his chair before sitting across his lap. You let out a long sigh as you cuddled up to him. "I love you."

"I love you too." He squeezed you. "What do you think about having another baby?"

You kissed your husband's cheek. "I would love another."

"Perfect."

#levi ackerman #levi #aot levi #snk levi #levi fanfiction #aot fanfiction #aot x you #levi x y/n #levi x you #fanfic #captain levi #levi aot #snk #shingeki no kyojin #aot #levi x reader #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman x you #levi fluff #levi ackerman fluff #jelly fanfics

[dmwrites]

In Schlatt’s near-constant inebriation, he’d manage to piece together a few worries about his new position of power as the leader of Manburg. These were private, shared to no one, but still rattled in his mind. He feared rebellion, he feared Wilbur and his little blonde brother boy. These were his nightmares. He imagined getting sliced in the throat as he slept, poison in his beer.

But the reality was a lot… weirder.

“Holy shit!!! Yoooo, Tom, I like trains, am I right?”

Schlatt turned around and watched a citizen come running up to him, smiling and happy.

“Who the fuck is Tom?” Schlatt felt for his beer bottle- he’d knock the stupid citizens out if he needed to.

“Oh, that’s classic Tom. Can we have a selfie?” And before he could say no, the citizen had their communicator out and took a picture with him. “Thanks Tom! Love your work, man!”

“What.” Schlatt watched them run off, swaying a little, and took a big gulp of beer. “Whatever.”

Only a day later, something equally odd happened. Another citizen came running up to him.

“Hi! You’re Tomska, right?”

Schlatt stared down at the citizen and said nothing, hoping his glare would make them go away.

“I just think it’s super cool that we have the maker of asdf movie as our leader!” The citizen continued. “Just wanted to say I love your work man, keep it up! Your sketches always make me laugh! I mean, Desmond the moon bear! Who could forget! And of course beep beep I’m a sheep! Or the muffin song!”

The citizen walked off before Schlatt could make any kind of retort back.

Even in his own office, among his own staff, the weirdness was happening.

“Excuse me, sir?” Fundy, that weird son of Wilbur’s, came over to him one afternoon during lunch.

“What the fuck do you want?”

“Do you perfer being called Schlatt over Tom? Or like can I call you Tom? I just want to know if you’re keeping your real identity a secret or not. I think it’s super cool, that you took time off to be President, but maybe if people knew you were Tomska your satisfaction ratings would go up?”

“What fucking language are you speaking?” Schlatt looked at him incredulously. “Is this some fox shit or something? I am not a Tomska!”

“Okay, so you are keeping your identity a secret! That’s cool. I think shaving the beard might help.” Fundy said.

——

The week was over, and Quackity walked into Schlatt’s office with a new case of beer for him. Schlatt was slumped at his desk.

“The fuckin’ week I’ve had, Big Q. Lemmie see that fuckin’ fat ass real quick.”

“Right away, sir.” Quackity turned around and took off his suit jacket.

“Jesus Christ you could hold a five-course meal on that fuckin’ thing.” Schlatt lit a cigarette and breathed in deep.

“Why was you week difficult, sir? Who do I need to tax or kill?” Quackity asked, back still to Schlatt.

“Everyone keeps calling me a Tomska. Like they keep calling me Tom, pretending like my name is fake or something. What the fuck is that all about? Is it some kind of early rebellion?” Schlatt’s fingers shook slightly, and he lowered his hands to the desk.

Quackity laughed. “Oh that’s so funny! Hold on, lemmie show you.” He took out his communicator and typed something in. “Tomska is a person- and wow, you really do look like him! Your beard pixels look exactly the same!” Quackity showed Schlatt a picture of some guy wearing a black shirt and black and white checkered tie. They did look quite similar, honestly. Same beard, same eyes, same hair, same skin tone. Just the clothes were different.

“Where is this man! I will kill him for trying to copy my brand.” Schlatt raged.

Quackity laughed again. “No Schlatt! Tomska doesn’t live on the Dream smp. He’s a youtuber! He made asdf movie!”

Schlatt narrowed his eyes at Quackity, grabbing the nearest bottle of alcohol and taking a swig.

“What the fuck is a YouTube?”

#August 26 2022 #fic #dream smp #dsmp #schlatt #based off of the irl schlatt lore that he took his mc skin from toms #so fun fact I’ve exclusively been watching mr. ska’s last week Vlog series #for the past three weeks #love that guy he funnie #anyway #dsmp tag that’s crazy when’s the last time I used that huh

[alritestoodeos]

Summoning the OG timeline characters (badly) Pt. 4

Our story begins with the kind and humble Havik, who sees a boy named Shujinko, who is training to be the very best, like no one ever was. Now, Havik resided in Chaosrealm, where the only rule was there were no rules, and he wanted to share this with young Shujinko. So he fucking jumps the kid and Shujinko fairs off against him. Then Havik, being the tweaker he is, is like “Good job bud your training is done. Then Shujinko is like “WTF DO YOU MEAN TRAINING IS DONE U TRIED KILLING ME BITCH” and Havik was like “Yea that’s the training lmfao” and Shujinko’s like “ohhh lmfao. So what’s good g?” and Havik is like “there’s some MCGA asswholes from Orderrealm who want to get rid of the  c h a o s . So I want you to kick they asses and put these silly little armbands on them that says they like chaos” and Shujinko’s like “lmao thats sum good shit. Brb,” and Shujinko leaves, and on his way back he talks to Havik and is like “my man Havik I did it. But why tf was they in a water temple?” and Havik is like “Water’s gucci af” and Shujinko’s like “oh ok lol can i have a key to get a Kamidogu now?” which is an ancient artifact the “elder gods” want him to get, and Havik’s like “oh shi tru here” and he gives shujinko the key. So Shujinko leaves and now Havik is alone again. Yep. All alone. Noothing to do in Chaosrealm except scream and do silly shit. Yep. Very fun. … … … “Oh shit wait I remember some dude telling me that if those Kamodo Dragon things merge together, Onaga the Dragon King will come back and rule over all the realms. Can’t have that. No sir. I hate rules” so Havik makes his way to Onaga’s temple and on the way finds a burned cripple and is like “dude tf are you good?” and he’s like “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-” and Havik’s like “sweet. So tell me about yourself Kabal” and Kabal’s like “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-” and Havik’s like “Oh shit he took your hookswords, too? Damn. Red Dragon ain got no chill. Say why dont you start the black dragon back up with you as the leader?” and Kabal is like “AAAAAAAAAAAAlright. Sounds sick” so Havik heals him up with his silly powers and now Kabal is better than ever, but Havik also had to make him criminally insane bc thats how Chaos magic works. So Kabal and Havik pull up in Earthrelam and they find this Afghani refugee and she’s also criminally inane, and Kabal and Havik are like “come with us” and she’s like “ok” and then they go to new york city and they find this maniac going around robbing and killing people with martial arts and fucking fire and they’re like “sick” and they find him and he’s like “WHO DARES CHALLENGE THE GREAT POWERFUL KOBRA-” and Havik’s like “sick ok you wanna join us?” and Kobra’s like “ok”, and thus Black Dragon: The Squeakquel was formed. And Havik’s like “alr boys plan’s simple. Shujinko’s on his way to resurrect Onaga fsr and we don’t want that because he’ll make everything have rules and stuff. So what we’re gonna do is wait for the heroes of the realms to come by and help Shujinko bc he’s dumb as nuts and doesn’t know what he’s doing, we let everyone kick Onaga’s keester, and that’s when I go in, eat his heart, and we become ruler of the realms” and they’re like “k” and so they go, and sure enough, the heroes of the realms had defeated Onaga. But before Havik could get to Onaga, Nightwolf, one of the heroes, is like “we defeated Onaga, that’s crazy, woah! Let’s send him to Netherealm, the stupid ho!” and so he sends his soul to Netherrealm before Havik could get his heart. And then Havik isn’t really seen until the fight of Armageddon fighting Cyrax, and then he dies like pretty much everyone else.

#mk havik #mk #mortal kombat

[marley-manson]

hunnihawk leader follower and/or meta shit lol if you're still doing the wip game

Thank you! Yeah I'll always answer ask meme prompts as long as people want to send them, idc how long it's been.

I'll give you everything I have written for the first one, which is:

AU where instead of Carrie Donovan BJ cheats with a man and Hawkeye finds out. BJ has a crisis, and Hawkeye straight up takes advantage. Instead of encouraging BJ to stick with his wife, he encourages BJ to explore those feelings and consider that he may not be happy in a heterosexual marriage etc etc and makes out with him.

Basically the idea is a fic that leans into Hawkeye's force of personality and tendency to take charge and pursue what he wants vs BJ's paggro resentment of it even as he goes along with him. Plus I think the fact that Hawkeye once canonically tried to cajole someone into leaving their spouse for him, and was perfectly fine being ~the other man~ to Margaret, should get more attention lol. Like, if the circumstances were different with BJ, as in he's not straight and Hawkeye realizes it, I could see him going all out in pursuit of an affair, and I’d love to see that explored. So like, it would basically be Hawkeye convincing himself that it’s in BJ’s best interests to fuck him because that’s what he wants, and BJ going along with it because that’s also what he wants but being wracked with guilt at the same time and sort of letting himself be led because then he can put more of the blame on Hawkeye rather than himself for not either divorcing Peg or putting his foot down and not cheating.

***

meta shit is probably the fic I’m most likely to finish and post next, since I actually wrote it all the way through to the end and now I just have to edit it. And figure out a title lol. But basically Hawkeye gets insomnia again circa like season 9 or 10 and in his half delirious state notices the tone differences between the early seasons and the late seasons and tries to investigate them. It’s not full like, Hawkeye realizes he’s in a tv show style meta, more just a vehicle to self-indulgently explore some of my own takes on the show and Hawkeye.

Hawkeye squinted at him. His eyes were taking a while to adjust to the dim interior after coming in out of the light. “Why aren’t you in a dress?” he asked.

“I don’t wear ‘em anymore. Are you feeling all right?” Great, now Klinger was clucking over him. 

“I’m fine, but green isn’t your color.” 

“I was always partial to yellow, personally. But you’re a few months out of date for that, Captain.”

That word hit him like a mild electric shock. “Hey, hey, look - why do you call me that?”

“Huh?”

“That, that, ‘sir,’ ‘Captain,’ all that. Seeing as how you-you-you hate it here so much.” His brain was sliding out of his ears but his body had more than enough energy and drive, so he started pacing.

“Gimme a break, here, Captain - Hawkeye. I had to be a model citizen to get out on a section eight. You know that. Please don’t walk on my bed.” 

He diverted his route slightly for the next lap. “You don’t anymore.”

“Yeah, well, old habits die hard. When in Rome, you know.” Klinger said it with fake cheerfulness. Hawkeye had infinite reserves right now and he still couldn’t help but wonder where he got the energy to dive into every pointless little task and gesture with a smile and a crisp salute. 

He spun around and walked backwards for a few paces to look at Klinger. “Don’t you think it’s demeaning?”

“I’m pretty used to it.”

“Guess you can get used to anything eventually.” A sudden rush of vertigo hit him so he sat down on the bed when he got back to it, needing to ground himself on something for a minute. Klinger was at his side in an instant. Maybe he’d wavered a little as he sat down.

“You don’t seem drunk,” Klinger said, “but you’re definitely something. You stay right there, I’ll get the Colonel.”

“I’m not sick, I’m just not tired either.” He rested his forehead in his hands, palms pressed against his eye sockets and elbows braced on his knees. 

Klinger didn’t run to find Potter; he sat on the bed next to him. “When’s the last time you slept?” he asked. 

“Two days ago.” He rubbed his eyes and opened them again.

Klinger whistled. “Want me to whack you around the head with a two-by-four?”

“Let’s give it another day before we resort to that.”

#ask meme #text post #marley on mash

[berryunho]

Just binge-read The Answer in a day and let me say that the plot is fucking insane, how the hell do you people come up with something so intense? Lmao, anyways I love reacting to mc's actions and inner monologue like a bff hearing some tea over a videocall "girl no he stabbed you, dont think about him as a normal person, he isnt one, with him its supposed to be throwing hands on sight for sURVIVAL"

And yet I still managed to get gaslit, girlbossed and gatekept by her relationship with san, tell me why I was here reading chapter 29 and thinking "wow he really is bringing up some red flags now after that fight" and then had to stop myself right there because the very first red flag that man had raised was from the very beginning wheRE HE GREETS HER TO THE CULT *BC HE IS PART OF THE MF CULT*

I CANT BELIEVE I FELL FOR IT, WTF

Anyways, can't wait for more, but take your time lol, I am as excited as everyone else but you are doing this for free and with something this good it's honestly such a service, thanks for all the effort <3 hope you're doing well and hope that you keep writing even after or outside of The Answer because you genuinely do such an amazing job building up descriptions and characters, I am very curious about everything we are yet to see, and I did wanna ask, sorry if you have answered this before, but do you already have an ending planned for the story?

- 👁👁

UM ? I LOVE YOU WAIT LET ME PUT THE OTHER MESSAGES UNDER THE READ MORE AND THEN RESPOND LAKDJF;ALKSDFJ

Just wanted to add that not only do I react like a nosy bff in a call with the mc as I read The Answer, but I also judge the absolute hell out of her choices not as in "this is gonna get you killed" but as in "I would 100% be going tinfoil hat in HJ's ass about the other world ages ago for entertainment alone" I CAN'T BE THE ONLY ONE CMON Mr Cultist wants me to go from city dwelling college student to hillbilly cult wifey in 2 days? HE TAKES AWAY MY PHONE ONLY TO TELL ME HIS BIBLE FANFIC IS BASED OFF THE SHIFTING REALITIES COMMUNITY? THE ONE THAT WAS BIG ON TIKTOK IN 2021? Be fucking for real, I would, on day 1, sit down in front of him and go "already, so whats up with the other you? You two still chat? Also whats up with his version of Hwa? Is he a petty little shit too? Are they in a questionable fwb situationship too? Do you still get prophecies? If so, why are there so many prints of your walmart bible around? Cause that seems like an awful waste when you will inevitably have to print just as many more with the new updates so wtf" He takes away my entertainment when I have the attention span of a 4 year old? Fine, he is gonna have to entertain *me* now to make up for it, bible study time? More like you are now my social media outlet where I'm gonna rant about my crazy theories, my favorite ships and I will overanalyze each and every plot hole in your bible sir, I don't care that its a prophecy, I want consistency from your writing about the other world, I want detailed descriptions, I want to feel like I am there, how do you expect to win New York's best seller with this vague ass paragraph about your little lost boys crew in trenchcoats? I'm gonna annoy him into killing me and realizing I'm not the one, his stalking time all going down the drain. I consider this an absolute win for me.

Okay I'm so sorry for sending another ask when I just sent two humongous ones lol but I did remember one thing I wanted to ask and I hope it doesn't come off wrong bc I mean nothing bad about it at all but back when HJ was all "I'm only gonna do the devils tango with you when you beg me to uwu" and mc thinks "damn, at least my local cult leader got some consent morals going" I couldn't help but stop myself and wonder: girl. He made out with you. In front of at least 40 people. When you were drugged. Clearly tripping. By his orders. And he stabbed you right after but most importantly he has bragged about making out with you IN FRONT OF A CROWD WHEN YOU WERE TRIPPING BY HIS OWN DESIGN And yknow, my question is: was mc's (continuous) lapse in judgment in this moment to blame for her not realizing he in fact does not give a flying fuck about consent and she just let that slide bc the cult mentality was getting to her (which we do see progress over the story, and its been one of the most interesting parts of the fic btw, I think you did really well with that) or did you not mean for it to be that and I read too much into it? Lol because yeah he is a self admitted and apparently diagnosed psycho but you'd think he would see how this morals he just tried to brag and seduce her with are not moralling at all. Or maybe he just hoped she wouldn't realize his delusional-moral compass isn't gonna point correctly no matter what way he tries, I'm definitely thinking too hard about it at this point lmao HE REALLY IS GETTING INTO MY PARANOID BRAIN, THE MIND GAMES ARE CONSUMING ME FR Anyways, again, sorry for the long asks one right after the other, I'll stop pestering now.

I fucking lied, I'm sending another one to ask if you happen to have any fics to recommend that maybe give off The Answer vibes or that you think may be a good read while we are all on standby bc I just got hit by the withdrawals-after-a-good-fic now that I realized I can't keep reading since I got to the last chapter lol. I'm so sorry. - 👁👁

first of all let me say it again: i love you. thank you so much for reading the answer and for being kind and for wanting to tell me and ask me so many things!! i really, really appreciate it and pls dont feel bad for sending me asks (big or small) bc it just makes me SO happy lol i feel bad that you've been waiting for a response for so long but LKJF:KDJF:AKDF I WILL DO MY BEST TO ADDRESS EVERYTHING so here we go:

I did wanna ask, sorry if you have answered this before, but do you already have an ending planned for the story?

hehe no worries at all!! i do have an ending planned and i know how we will get there, but there are certain elements and plot points that aren't solid yet and could be changed!! but i am set on the ending ^^

the entire second ask is just so valid. like tbh i would absolutely be the same. like id be scared af for a few days but once i realized i wasnt gonna like DIE immediately and that i could get away with annoying hj like at least a little bit id be on his ass. honestly and truly the main reason that i havent written more of like... the answer in the story is bc im too concerned that anything i wrote would be torn apart for analysis when i wouldnt actually be reading that far into it LKJA;SKFDJSD bc like you're right anything that hj would be writing would be very pertinent information TO HIM but like... does it actually mean anything... or is it just words... LOL idk if that makes sense but everytime i try to write like in the style of a religious text with the answer lore it sounds so ridiculous i just cannot take myself seriously enough to do it KLAJKS;DFJASKFD BUT HELP YOU POINTING OUT THE SHIFTING LORE? LITERALLY THE EXACT SYSTEM I STOLE THIS LORE FROM I HAD NO IDEA WHAT I WAS DOING WHEN I STARTED WRITING I WAS JUST LIKE idfk whats something weird that i can connect to the ateez lore that i dont remotely understand AND THATS WHAT I CAME UP WITHALKDSFLA;JDSFJLSKDJ you are real

And yknow, my question is: was mc's (continuous) lapse in judgment in this moment to blame for her not realizing he in fact does not give a flying fuck about consent and she just let that slide bc the cult mentality was getting to her (which we do see progress over the story, and its been one of the most interesting parts of the fic btw, I think you did really well with that) or did you not mean for it to be that and I read too much into it?

eheheeheheheheh i really was waiting for someone to point this one out!!! i definitely meant it to be a lapse in her judgement and like a ...... hmmm idk how to put it like she's selectively forgetting things that don't match with what she WANTS to believe !! like personally i would never in my life write a member of ateez to be a rapist so we obvs won't be worrying about that BUT if this were a real situation, that would probably be a very real fear to have and i figured it would be a good thing to address in case anyone was like. worried about that. LKAJSKFDJASDLFK but yes you're right they're obviously not above MURDER so like. how much credit can we give them. its really just mc wanting desperately to alleviate some of her fear and believe that she is at least a tiny bit safe (even though that is CLEARLY not the case)

if you happen to have any fics to recommend that maybe give off The Answer vibes or that you think may be a good read while we are all on standby

heh this one is tough because ... im not really a fanfic reader LAKJDFKLAJSDFK but my beloved mutuals bee (@atzfilm) and caly (@hongism) are geniuses hehe !! bee writes dark fics that are mwah chefs kiss and caly writes mists of celeste which has a toxic unyielding leader hongjoong. so. you know.

SO YEAH ANYWAYS? THANK YOU SO MUCH AGAIN FOR THESE ASKS AJDKFALSDKFJSKLDJ AND IM SORRY AGAIN THAT IT TOOK ME FOREVER TO REPLY AND THAT THE UPDATE IS ALSO TAKING FOREVER LOL I HOPE YOU'RE STILL AROUND LAKJDFLKSJDF

#👁👁 anon #answered

[aarcanechaoss]

Can you do a Higuchi request like she's sick so the black lizards come to treat her😁

I can indeederoo

She felt like shit.

Nothing more, nothing less, she felt like utter shit and her thermometer seemed to agree.

No work for Ichiyo today it seemed.

Her stomach ached, her head hurt and her poor sister even had to help drag her back to bed after she found her heaped over the toilet. It was going to be a fucking shitty day she could already tell.

And oh fuck… today she was meant to have a meeting.

~~*~~

Elise was the one to question Higuchi’s absence. Her little blonde head tilting to the side as she scanned the occupants of the meeting room.

“Chiyo isn’t here Rintaro.” She pouted as she stared up at her ability holder.

“No it doesn’t seem that way.” Mori said, turning towards an employee who was waiting to offer any drinks to the Mafia members. “Go find someone who is able to call Ichiyo Higuchi and ask about her whereabouts-”

The mafia leader paused mid speech as his phone chimed loudly. It was a message from Higuchi… No Mori could only assume her sister going from the K.H at the end of the text.

“Never mind it seems she is unwell and will not be joining us today. I’ll have to send someone to check on her later.” Mori sighed before placing his phone back down, ready for the meeting.

“I can do it sir.” Tachihara said. “She lives near me last I checked and I finish my shift after this meeting anyway.”

“Very well you may check on her.”

~~*~~*~~*~~

Guests and phone calls were the last thing Higuchi wanted as she lay half-dead in her bed… but alas her apartment buzzer rang. With a dizzy spell underway she managed to make her way towards the door, answering the buzzer.

“Hello?” She asked, and oh she sounded terrible.

“Hey Higuchi, it’s Tachihara, Gin and Hirostu Boss, Mori, sent us to come check on you- it okay if we come up.” Tachihara said and she really wasn’t sure if she heard the whole thing correctly but agreed. She buzzed them up.

“Floor sixteen, room fifty-five. I unlocked the door.” Was all she said before she unlocked her door and shuffled back towards her couch.

Not too long after did they arrive, opening the front door with a soft click Tachihara’s messy red hair appeared in her vision.

“You look like shit Big Sis.” He joked and she didn’t even have the energy to laugh as she started dozing once more. “Yeah she’s sick alright… so who knows how to help a sick person?”

Hirotsu and Tachihara give Gin a pointed look.

“Just because Ryu is always sick doesn’t mean I know how to take care of a sick person.” She groans. “Check her temperature.”

“She feels really hot… she’s wearing summer pyjamas and a blanket how is she burning up this bad?” Tachihara says in shock.

“I’ll go prepare some soup for when she wakes up again, it will help settle her stomach.” Hirotsu states, leaving the eighteen and nineteen year old’s to care for the sick woman.

They were not impressed with that but… he was the only one who could cook.

~~*~~

Higuchi awoke later, her stomach aching less and her head no longer spinning. She groans and attempts to sit up before a cold rag is placed on her forehead.

“What’s happening?” She asks.

“Gin and Hirotsu had to dip so hope you don’t mind me hanging out for a bit.” Tachihara grins sheepishly, she doesn’t even have the energy to argue. “The old man made some soup for you to eat and Gin just told me to keep a cold rag on you until you stopped burning up.”

“Thanks Tachihara.” She says sleepily. “Sorry about this.”

“Hey don’t apologise.” He chides.

“What day and time is it again?”

“Friday and two pm.” Tachihara replies and she sighs.

“My sister is staying at a friend’s tonight. She should show up in the next few hours to get her stuff.”

“I’ll stay till she gets here then yeah?”

“You don’t have too.”

“Nah it’s fine… I have nothing important to do anyway.” He says… and she can’t argue that. If he wants to stay he can but he can’t blame her if he gets sick.

“You get sick don’t blame me.” She murmurs. He laughs.

“I won’t.”

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #ichiyo higuchi #tachihara michizou #bsd fluff #bungou stray dogs fluff

[mrscoulter5ever]

Truth Requires Bravery Ch 5

Alissa awoke in the morning to her phone ringing off the hook. She blearily opened her eyes, rolled over, and looked at her alarm clock. It was 8am. Not an unreasonable hour for a phone call, except that pretty much everyone Alissa knew knew she worked the night shift, and thus would never call her early in the morning like that. So who could possibly be calling her that consistently at an ungodly hour of the morning?

Groaning, Alissa turned over and looked at her phone. Oh shit. It was Jack Kang, the faction leader of Candor. Panicking, Alissa answered the phone. "Hello?"

"Good morning Alissa, sorry to bother you at such an early hour. I heard you might have some information about what occurred last night with the Dauntless and was hoping to debrief with you?"

"Oh sure, no problem sir," Alissa gulped.

"Excellent. Alissa, please tell me everything you know about what happened last night."

Alissa recounted the tale of events from last night, leaving out, of course, her own masturbatory fantasies of a certain Dauntless leader. She told Jack what room she had brought the Dauntless to. He thanked her and hung up. Sighing, Alissa rolled over onto her stomach and fell back asleep.

A few hours later, she awoke to what sounded like yelling in the hallway. While Candor had a reputation of being the "loudmouths" of the faction, most arguments were pretty lighthearted and civil, so this sort of heated argument was not commonplace here. Confused, Alissa got out of bed and opened up the door to see what was going on.

There, her eyes first paused on the delicious sight of that Dauntless man - Eric - in nothing more than a pair of tight boxer shorts, showing off his incredibly shredded muscles - Alissa swore she had never even known the human form could have that many muscles - and registered his equally impressive manhood. Blushing faintly, Alissa then diverted her eyes to the rest of the scene; the man, Eric, was yelling with Jack in the middle of the hallway. Well, not really yelling with Jack. Jack, true to form, was arguing his point in a very calm and collected manner, while Eric was blowing up at him.

Alissa tried to listen in on their conversation, whilst trying to stay hidden in the background of her doorway.

"I came here for answers, Jack! I'll be damned if I take my men around another fucking pointless 20 mile march all over the damn city for jackshit!"

"I understand that, Mr. Coulter, but Candor was not properly informed of and has not officially permitted your arrival. And especially given your...brash entrance the other evening, which, may I say, disturbed many of my faction's residents, we must ask you and your men to officially leave the premises while we as a faction convene to decide what our relationship with Dauntless will be in this matter."

"Look, I just came here for answers. I'll leave your damn faction as long as I can just get some information first."

"Unfortunately, Mr. Coulter, given the security risk you have clearly posed to me and my faction, I must first ask you to leave. I am happy to send over whatever documentation you wish to Dauntless' servers, but first you and your men must go."

By this point, Alissa had been slowly peeking her head more and more out of her bedroom door. Suddenly she saw Eric turn and look directly at her. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. She had been caught.

Eric turned to Jack and smirked. "Oh no, Jack. That's not enough. I need some sort of...guarantee that you'll provide us with the information. In fact, I think I'll take her-" here he dragged Alissa by the arm over to him "-as ransom."

Alissa, in shock, looked at Jack, who looked vaguely...disappointed? Alissa was having trouble concentrating, considering she found herself pressed up against Eric's rock solid chest. It was taking every ounce of focus and willpower in her body to keep her wildly raging hormones in check.

"Mr. Coulter, please, I'm sure we can work out an agreement," Jack pleaded.

"Sure we can," Eric said cockily, in a deep, threatening voice that caused Alissa to shiver. Eric must have noticed this, because his smirk grew even bigger as he puffed his chest out and pulled Alissa even closer to him, her cheeks now blushing a scarlet red that even Jack had to have noticed by now as she felt her underwear get wet. "The agreement is that my men and I will leave - with your young lady here - and as soon as you send the information we request over to Dauntless, we'll bring her back to you perfectly unharmed."

"Mr. Coulter, I cannot allow you to kidnap one of the members of my faction-"

"Oh really?" Eric interrupted, laughing. "I think, given last night, we both know that your faction's security is...less than stellar, to say the least. So what really makes you think you can stop me?"

Jack, cornered, pursed his lips. "I'm sorry," he mouthed to Alissa. With a deep and heavy sigh, he concluded, "Fine. I will get the information to you by Thursday evening. Please return her by Friday, and make sure she is unharmed and taken good care of."

Eric nodded sharply. "Don't worry, Jack," he grinned. "I'll make sure she's well taken care of," he said, a bit of heat in his voice as he wrapped his arms around Alissa. She inhaled sharply, eyes widening, feeling her panties grow even wetter at the unspoken lustful promises.

#candor #dauntless #divergent #eric coulter #oc #humor #romance #enemies to lovers #smut #language #peter hayes

[kovnynir]

𝑪𝑶𝑹𝑹𝑬𝑪𝑻𝑰𝑵𝑮 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑹𝑬𝑪𝑶𝑹𝑫.

ever since nero had that run-in with lior and learned from the allegiant general and supreme leader that the troopers will be deprogrammed, he was furious. he continued his work as expected, of course, but his mind was constantly racing with all the questions, concerns, and anger he had for the topic. 

deprogram him? destroy the first order from the inside? there were always rumors that the first order was going to disband and he’d had the same hunch for himself for quite a while now. moving to batuu was the biggest mistake the first order ever made. 

he was constantly around the high command. he was the head of the squadron that acted as their personal detail, the death troopers were specially trained and given very sensitive missions. nero thought back to all the private meetings he’d attended, standing just outside the door, hearing nothing but mumbling between him and the durasteel. had he known that those ‘mumblings’ were plans to eradicate the government, he would have stopped it himself. 

look at where he was now; a failure in his own eyes. after all, he was sworn to support and protect the high command in all their endeavors -- but did that also include the destruction of the first order? he was sworn to protect that too. he couldn’t do both if the high command was seeking to fuck it all up.

and the issue of the troopers specifically, deprogramming them. where would they go? what would they do? this life was all they knew. taking it all away, making them civilians again... it would destroy them all. nero felt nothing but neutrality and anger, but his conversation with lior about guilt -- all of that, all that lior said he gained: guilt, empathy, sadness, fear, all of that? it would crush them. the first order wanted to break its army and return it to the rest of society, where they would be hated, shamed, and hunted for actions that weren’t even their own.

was that really a good fucking idea?

it was clearly keeping him up, the man paced silently in his room, his thoughts churning and whipping about his mind like the worst of maelstroms. a knock at his door pulled him from his thoughts.

he opened the door, and it was his squadron. nero raised a brow. ❝ what is it? ❞ if they had been mobilized, he would’ve been the first to hear it. they weren’t in their uniforms either. 

❝ permission to enter, sir. there’s a problem, ❞ dt-c09 stated. nero moved back and let them enter, then shut the door.

❝ what’s the issue? ❞ nero asked once they were effectively alone.

❝ you. you are different, we’re concerned. ever since you found the defector- ❞

❝ he didn’t defect, he was deprogrammed, ❞ nero corrected.

❝ that’s it -- that word, deprogrammed, ❞ dt-c06 cut in. ❝ what is that? why was c12 deprogrammed? we don’t do that. ❞

❝ are they doing it to the rest of us? we didn’t ask for that shit -- ❞

❝ some civilian said the first order would be replaced, is that really true? is this the start of that? ❞

❝ they’re making a big mistake- ❞ ❝ -- get people killed -- ❞ ❝ where will we go? this is -- ❞

❝ stop- enough, ❞ nero said, putting his hands out to try and get them to stop in their proverbial tracks. ❝ just stop. ❞ he sighed, ran a hand through his hair. ❝ how many others are having these questions? ❞ he wanted to start there.

the death troopers glanced amongst themselves. ❝ all of them. it’s spread like fire, ❞ dt-c06 answered.

nero thought it through... if everyone was having these same doubts and concerns, the only way to solve it was to address it. and if the high command weren’t going to do it, he would have to. ❝ get everyone up, have them report to the conference hall. no uniform necessary. ❞

they weren’t troopers right now, they were people. people with concerns. the death troopers left to do as nero said, nero made his way to the conference hall. he leaned back against the wall, his head tilted to the steel. his eyes were shut, he was fucking exhausted by all of this -- he didn’t want to deal with it, but this was pretty torturous. and hey, if they saw him as a leader, he had to be one for them. 

once all the troopers were gathered, along with some officers and other random employees that wanted to attend, nero tilted his head up to see a crowd of about two hundred people, sitting and waiting for answers. he could sense anxiety, even through the fog of their programming.

he stepped up onto the small stage, elevating him enough for the hall to see him. he looked around, taking in all the varied expressions. weren’t they all supposed to be neutral droid-people? why was there so much variance? he opened his mouth to speak, but decided against what he was originally going to say, shaking his head in the process. 

❝ you’re worried. i know. this... deprogramming matter. the first order falling and changing into something new. all of that is real, and it is coming. ❞

normally, troopers would take information like this in complete stony silence. but that wasn’t the case here, the glancing and murmurs of concern spread throughout the crowd.

and gawynn, standing in the very back of the hall, turned to ice.

nero looked around, then continued. ❝ i do not know what it means for all of us. but i do know that i have made my rejection of the idea known to the high command. it hasn’t appeared to sway them. ❞ 

an officer spoke up. ❝ the first order has plans on how to reintroduce you all back into society -- this won’t be happening without ample support, i assure you. ❞

nero raised a brow. ❝ ample support. i see. ❞ he stuffed his hands in his pockets, the casual power that radiated from him making the whole room seem smaller by default. ❝ and i’m supposed to take that from you. someone who is not programmed. ❞ he outranked the motherfucker anyway. he quirked a brow and returned his attention to the rest of the troopers.

❝ i have no doubt the first order has set up ‘support’ for us, but it doesn’t matter. no amount of support will fix the rest of the galaxy. we all feel how we are treated on a daily basis by civilians -- no matter where we go, the moment it’s found out that we are troopers, we’ll be no better than mandalorians or force-sensitives or rebels. we become the prey. with memories and feelings to only make it worse. ❞

more mumbles, a little louder now. 

❝ do you want the truth? ❞ he asked of his fellow troopers. ❝ the truth is, they are afraid of us. they’re afraid of what we can do when we work together. ❞ everything went silent. you could hear a pin drop in that hall. ❝ they’re afraid of us fighting back. they expect us to be complicit. but this decision will ruin everyone, and yet they still expect us to go along with it. there is no appreciation for our devotion -- we’re deprogrammed, then meant to go out into a galaxy that will not accept us. they think it’s a good thing -- they want to free us as a moral correction without ever considering all that they would lose. ❞

this is not good, gawynn thought. this is not good at all. discreetly, she took out her comm and opened the line, saying nothing into it. on the other end, was hux’s emergency line. the allegiant general was now listening in on what could be the biggest danger since palpatine.

❝ what are we supposed to do, sir? ❞ a random trooper questioned. ❝ we are meant to follow orders. ❞

nero sighed. ❝ i want you to examine the possibility that our orders haven’t been right. ❞ 

gawynn’s eyes blew up like a damn balloon. this couldn’t be real, could it? was nero switching sides?

❝ i believe something is negatively influencing the high command. i’m not sure we can trust them anymore. they do not have our best interest at heart. they are turning the first order into a republic. do any of you have any recollection of the new republic? it was a catastrophic failure. the supreme leader and allegiant general are conspiring with the resistance to destroy the first order from the inside!! ❞

oh motherfucking no. nero wasn’t switching sides, he was doubling down.

❝ so what are you proposing? a rebellion? ❞ that same officer from before scoffed. ❝ there’s only a few hundred of you here. the minute the high command hears of this, they’ll just bring in troopers from other posts to kill all of you. ❞

nero opened his mouth, then shook his head. ❝ i... i don’t know. i just know that this is wrong, and they aren’t listening to us. ❞ there was chatter amongst the troopers, nero let it go on for a few minutes as he thought through everything.

gawynn couldn’t let this go on. she stuffed her comm in her back pocket and rushed up to the stage. ❝ nero! ❞ she cried, ❝ c’mon -- this is silly. just let me talk -- this is my job. i can tell everyone about the plans, about -- ❞

nero’s gaze snapped to gawynn. ❝ didn’t i tell you to stop meddling? ❞ he questioned darkly. he stepped over to her and grabbed her by her arm, dragging her onto the stage. 

❝ everyone! pay attention, we have a special guest here, ❞ he practically spat. ❝ you all know lieutenant genesis. ❞

the glares coming from all the troopers -- from gawynn’s attacker for fuck’s sake -- from the sea of angry, worried people -- were burning into gawynn. 

❝ everyone, i know i’m hard to trust -- but please, just hear me out for a moment. the plan is to d-deprogram you- yes, i know that’s scary, but it will break the chains on your mind, give you your lives back to the best of our ability. and- and then we’re working with the resistan- ❞

cries of outrage broke out, but nero glared and quiet fell over the crowd again.

❝ i know. i know we aren’t meant to trust them. but they are formulating a program to help all of you -- finding work, reconnecting with family, therapy, healthcare, salary! you aren’t being left to the winds, you will have employees assigned to you that will be there to help with every need -- i promise, this is our goal, we want to fix what was broken- ❞

nero smirked. ❝ see? problem solved, guys! ❞ his grip on her arm only got tighter. gawynn could feel the bruising start. 

❝ please -- please, i promise, we want to help, we want to make everyone happy and healthy and -- ❞

nero gazed down at gawynn for a few moments as the crowd threw protests and insults at her. ❝ this is just the beginning. this is the beginning of everything. ❞ the way that the crowd was reacting, the way that he knew what they were all thinking -- it was all adding up in his head. 

❝ silence!! ❞ he barked over the chaos. once it was quiet, he nodded to them. ❝ that swirling, awful feeling inside you. that’s anger. it’s frustration. the sharpness, that’s pain. you are all angry, frustrated, pained, exhausted. you’re sick of being pushed around. you’re sick of being disrespected by your superiors and by civilians. you’re sick of being dogs. ❞

this was bad, this was bad, this was so bad. gawynn squirmed in nero’s iron grasp. well, at least it’s not my throat, she thought. 

❝ i would know. i am sick of it too. i am just like you. we are all a joke to them. and part of me... part of me wants to change that. show them we’re not a joke, we’re not a sea of mindless droids, no -- we are a threat. we’re not something to just program and deprogram at a whim. and we’re sure as hell not going to be prey. ❞

the cheers that erupted were nearly deafening. nero knew he should be happy to see it, but he wasn’t sure he knew what ‘happy’ was. but he was at least pleased.

❝ suit up, soldiers. we’ve got a record to correct. ❞ 

his gaze went down to gawynn again. he slowly plucked the comm from gawynn’s pocket, saw the little light showing it was on, and he chuckled. 

❝ stupid girl... ❞ he muttered. he threw the comm and let it get trampled by the streams of troopers leaving the room. he dragged gawynn down to the cells and had her locked up. they didn’t need more meddling. and then, he got to his room to suit up himself. putting his armor on never felt more like pride itself. 

#* nero : self para. #* gawynn : self para. #self para.

[demonboyhalo]

after learning that Wilbur had been lying to Phil in his letters as early as the Manburg Election, i decided to rewatch the Festival from his POV to see if i could puzzle out a bit of his motivations and -

he told Tubbo to stay strong when getting executed, but ultimately did nothing to save him. he told Tommy that things would be fine, yet made sure the kid would not intervene. Techno stalled Tubbo's execution for as long as he could, lightening the mood, trying to deescalate in the only way he knew how - all while waiting for an order from Wilbur. Wilbur whispered Tubbo, Wilbur whispered Tommy, but the one who was in the position to enact Pogtopia's mission, and needed his command more than anyone? Left in the open with no one to tell him what to do! Yet...we already knew this. Now, with this new insight we have into who Wilbur was as a person during the time, we have to be wondering, what is the deeper reason why the Leader of Pogtopia decided not to intervene in the execution?

#is there more to why Wilbur did what he did that we're going to find out now that he's revived? #..... #wilbur literally reinforced tommy's belief that techno was on their side and that tubbo would be fine #and then stood there doing nothing as Techno stalled #techno DIDNT want to kill tubbo! he did everything he could (within character - he's not as Strong/Confident as people say) to avoid killing #but ultimately gave into his nerves and went with the majority out of fear of being attcked by the Manburg crowd #yet that would have been avoided if Wilbur gave him literally any semblance of a plan. Sir. Please. #i'm not a wilbur anti don't get me wrong #i don't actually blame him. people don't take his trauma/mental health seriously. #but man had some fucked shit going on!! you were their leader sir!!! #i cannot stress how much techno did not expect the festival to turn out how it did #he only went as RECONNAISSANCE - information gathering!! getting secrets from peaceful conversation during the festival games!! #techno only killed tubbo because 1) no one from pogtopia was telling him WTF he was supposed to do #2) it was the Manburg Festival. techno is under the impression that the whole crowd behind him? they'd attack if he disobeyed schlatt #while WE know that Techno can take 10 people vs him - he constantly doubts himself. he doesn't have the faith to go on offense #until he realizes how powerful his bow is. he had never tried it before! #anyways that's a tangent - WILBUR WHAT ARE YOUR MOTIVATIONS #why do you do the things you do??? i know your mental is fucked and i don't entirely blame you but tubbo?? didn't need to die?? #why didn't you whisper techno!! yknow - the guy who needs your orders??? why did you whisper tommy and tubbo with fake reassurance?? #SIR PLEASE WHY DIDNT YOU INTERVENE #IM NOT MAD IM NOT EVEN DISSAPOINTED I SYMPATHIZE JUST OPEN THE FUVK UP #me - rattling the bars that lock me out of c!wilbur's POV of the world: LET ME IN #mcyt #dream smp #tommyinnit #tubbo #tommy innit #technoblade #dsmp #wilbur soot

[rattyoakenbitch]

❝𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐩𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲?❞ ─ 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐧𝐲

well, you may not like it but you better learn how

cause it's your turn now

❥ content ; gn reader, the company, crack fic, reader is from this gen, a bit of flirting but overall everything is platonic

❥ warnings ; language, somewhat lewd humor

❥ synopsis ; you have a strange sense of humor and it's hard for the company to keep up with what you say, so you explain yourself and teach them a bit of gen z slang 😎

❥ a/n ; this is literally just a stupid crack fic with my dumb sense of humor but yeah. if u wanna be added to my tag list, dm me!

It started off with a few.. creative insults, thrown here and there.

"Y/N, I am the leader of this quest, and you will not talk to me like that!"

"Or what? Cry me a fucking river."

"You best quiet down now if you know what's good for you."

"If you want me to shut up, maybe stop coming up with stupid things for me to comment on, you lumberjack lookin hillbilly."

"Who's Billy?" a voice in the back would say.

Despite any sort of consequences that may come, you just would never bite on your tongue. If you had something to say, it came easily.

"And just so you know, I'm not only insulting you, I'm insulting your whole family, you dense walnut."

"What in Mahal's name did they just say..?"

One way to get you going was if someone instigated an argument or annoyed you, that someone being mostly Thorin.

"Oh, power down, sass robot, and pull your head out of your ass."

"Please, you're so small and bitter like an espresso."

"Nobody asked and nobody cares that you're salty about Elves who didn't do shit to you. Your little Dwarvish cult isn't any better."

"Look, I get that you're short and stubby and you can barely contain your anger in that body of yours, but you are fr losing your gorilla grip on reality and you need to snap out of it."

"Go touch some grass lmao."

At some point, Thorin, who also had a large vocabulary, fired a shot at you, causing your blood to just about boil over.

It took Fili and Kili to hold you back from pouncing on Thorin and ripping his smug face to shreds.

"Y/N! Don't stoop to his level!"

"You're right, I'm going under it, muthafuka!"

Your colorful language wasn't just used in arguments, but in every day life, which honestly added spice and humor to The Company.

"Welp, the Orcs aren't far behind. Let's skedaddle!"

"Let's what now?!"

"VAMOOSE. SKEDADDLE. S C R A M. Orrrr dip, if you will."

"DIP???%+#!$!#("

Fili and Kili would just about short circut trying to understand what the hell it is you were saying, since they would hang out with you the most.

But that didn't mean the rest of the Dwarves weren't subjected to your 'eccentric' personality, as they would call it, and brain rotting words.

"Well, shit, at least you'll die doing what you love." You pat Gloin on the shoulder. "Say hi to Satan for me."

"????? If I die, I am haunting you first."

Gloin did not die and spent the rest of the day silently questioning who was Satan.

At one point, you were captured by the Mirkwood Elves and introduced to Thranduil.

"Yoooo? Elsa?"

"Mister Sir, I'm sorry, but walking around with eyebrows like that should be a punishable offense. Mf lookin like you stole someone's moustache."

"Oh - now I feel bad- SIKE!"

"Whoa now, I know you're old n all but don't have an aneurysm, that's not very girlboss of you."

After roasting the poor old man, you ran into Thorin again.

"OH! So that's why you don't have eyebrows!"

He would only walk past you and quietly mutter to himself, "Foolish modern creature."

In another scenario, way before being captured and held in Mirkwood, you were instead, hanging out with much cooler Elves, and met Galadriel.

"So.. You listen to Girl in Red?"

After explaining what the phrase meant, Galadriel finally got it and was flattered. She didn't answer the question, though.

Those were only a few scenarios, of course. Let's bring it back to the present.

You were walking along some trail together, doing quest-y stuff as always. You were in the middle of the group beside Fili, Kili, and Ori, who asked you to explain certain words and slang you used frequently.

"... That's... interesting," Kili trailed off mindlessly.

".. You have no idea what I'm even saying, do y-"

"Not a clue."

...

"... Y/N, what's a 'tiddie'?"

You let out a breathy laugh.

"It's another word for a woman's breasts. Or a man's. Whichever."

"Oh! So does that mean I have tiddies?" Ori asked joyfully, looking like a kid in a candy store.

You rolled your eyes, "Yes, Ori."

"What about 'mamas'?"

"It's mostly used if you wanna flirt with someone. But it's also used ironically because it's really kinda stupid."

"So when you say 'ayo mamas' to Kili, you're not actually flirting?"

You narrowed your eyes, kinda giving Fili a wtf look.

"No???"

Kili put a hand over his heart. "How could you do this to me? I thought we had something special."

"Oh, grow up," you laughed, playfully shoving him.

Fast forward to nightfall, you were forced to stop set up camp early due to some issues. The night only got worse when The Company couldn't seem to find enough wood to fuel a fire.

"Bruh moment."

"Quiet, Y/N, and help us look."

"I'm looking and there's still no firewood in sight, you fucking piss baby."

Thorin now had his full attention on you.

"Quit it with all this nonesense! What in Middle Earth is a piss baby?"

"I don't know, man! I just say shit to cope with stressful situations and the fact that I exist and I am in this bitch and there's nothing I can do about it!"

Thorin only blinked, looking at you stunned, and then returned to his work.

Eventually, firewood was found, and you all could finally make some food and lay out your bed rolls near the heat.

"I told y'all this manifesting stuff works," you joked to Bilbo, who was in line with you to get some of Bombur's stew.

"Do you think we could manifest ourselves to Erebor?" The Hobbit asked innocently. You laughed.

"Already on it."

You walked over to the 'li brothers' and sat with them after getting your food.

"Hey, Y/N, how do you say it again? This shit is bussin?"

You almost choked on the hot stew, and gave Fili a thumbs up.

"Oh, please don't corrupt my nephews," Thorin mumbled as he passed by, overhearing your conversation.

"Too late, shawty!" Fili called after his uncle.

Kili joined in. "Hey uncle! You look very pog today!"

Too tired to even respond to his nephews' childish antics, he again, whispered to himself, "Those two are going to be princes. Mahal, save us."

#thehobbit #lotr #the company #the hobbit incorrect quotes #the hobbit fandom #the hobbit fanfiction #crackfic #the hobbit fluff #the hobbit crack #the hobbit crackfic #rattyoakenbitch #the hobbit oneshot #thorin #ori #kili #fili #kili x you #kili x reader #thorin x reader #thorin x modern reader #fili x reader

[e-vasong]

I’ve already talked about a Leverage crossover where the Hargreeves are conmen but I'm. losing it thinking about. a Leverage AU where the Leverage team sees these kids on tv, and they just go.  oh shit, that’s just fucking wrong.  (I know the timelines don’t match up but let’s pretend the umbrella kids were born a little later, or that Leverage takes place a little earlier, or something like that.  I don’t know.)

But these fucking umbrella kids show up on TV, and at first none of them are paying much attention. Not right away.  They’re busy running cons, and none of them except Hardison watch TV for fun very often.

So they’ve all heard bits and pieces about this Umbrella thing, and aren’t quite sure what to make of it.  Superhumans, huh? Eliot mutters at one point. Whatever. Our lives are already so goddamn weird.

But eventually they catch a broadcast while they’re home in between cases.  it’s playing in the background while they’re enjoying a meal together at the brewery.

The Umbrella Academy saves the day yet again! the broadcaster declares cheerily. We go now to a statement at the Louvre from their leader, Sir Reginald Hargreeves.

It’s just novel enough to catch their attention--being who they are, they all perk up at the word Louvre--and it gets them half-watching as they chat over breakfast.

It’s Parker that sees it first.  She’s Parker, so what catches her attention is actually not the fact that one of them is covered in blood, nor is it the fact that their father is calling them by numbers instead of names.  It’s the way that they stand, tense and upright.  It’s the way that the one covered in blood is trembling minutely, so fine that it’s almost imperceptible. But she notices. And she notices the way that the one to the bloodied boy’s left--the fifth one in line--leans over ever-so-subtly when their father is looking away. Whispers something with the barest movement of his lips. And then, after a moment of hesitation, he links hands with his shaking brother, twining their fingers together.  Parker knows that whisper, knows what this is. She used to do that with her brother.  Used to hold Nick’s hand, just like that, when their fosters were scaring him, trying to provide comfort even despite the fear of being caught.

It’s not long before the others follow her gaze. She’s stopped engaging in the conversation entirely, is just staring at the television with a death glare, nose wrinkled.

“Parker, baby,” Hardison says.  “That’s your angry face.”

“I’m angry,” she says, and doesn’t elaborate.

“Got it,” Hardison takes it in stride, as he always does.

Eliot’s frowning at the TV.  Unlike Parker, his eye does jump to the most obvious thing first.  To the boy, no older than eleven or twelve probably, drenched head to toe with blood.  There’s no rips in his clothing; Eliot’s pretty sure the blood isn’t his. He’s standing up straight, but his shoulders are slightly hunched.  Like he’s injured.  Broken ribs, maybe?  And he’s been taught to hide them too. He’s also not the only one with that too-stiff posture. These kids aren’t standing up straight. They’re standing at attention.  Number One, their father calls one of them, and what are those? Fucking callsigns?  

Sophie and Nate are watching too.  Their faces are carefully blank.  They aren’t happy, Parker’s pretty sure, but they’re trying not to react.

“What the hell?” Hardison says slowly.  He’s the last one to catch on, though only by a very narrow margin.  He lacks Sophie and Nate’s cynicism, and the years of personal experience Parker and Eliot have, but he’s still too smart to not figure it out almost immediately.  And he is first one to abandon the stunned stillness that’s fallen over the rest of them, pulling his laptop out of his bag, already quickly tapping away at the keys.

“This ain’t right,” Eliot says, voice a growl in his chest.  “This is--this is--it’s televised child abuse.”

Sophie makes a quiet noise of agreement then. “It is,” she says, quietly disgusted. “Those poor children.”

Nate is still staring at the screen, lips pressed flat.

“This Reginald guy looks rich,” Parker says.  Then: “Can we kill him?”

Eliot chokes on his drink.

“How is this even legal?” Sophie asks.  She sounds curious, though not particularly surprised by the grievous violation of child protection laws before her. “It’s so...blatant.”

“Sir Reginald Hargreeves,” Hardison says, no longer typing.  “He is--oh shit.” And the typing resumes, faster and a little more panicked than before.

“Hardison?” Nate prods after a moment, giving Hardison a sidelong glance.

“Yeah, yeah, it’s all good,” Hardison says.  “The INTERPOL files on this guy are locked up tight though.  Almost tripped their security system there.  I didn’t, of course, but--”

“You couldn’t get in?” Eliot says, smirking.

“Yet,” Hardison says.  “Dammit, man, it’s been less than five minutes.  Give me a couple hours and that thing is mincemeat.  Metaphorically speaking, of course.  But I do see what’s going on here and,” he clicks his tongue, shaking his head in disappointment.  “Y’all, this is hinky.”

“Yes, I think we got that,” Nate says.  The corner of his lip twitches up.

“Yeah, yeah,” Hardison says.  “This guy has got friends everywhere.  No one knows how he got the kids, but it looks like he technically bought them--”

“He what?” Sophie sounds like she’s been suckerpunched.  Parker can’t think of the last time she heard Sophie sound so shocked.

“Oh yeah.  You think that’s bad?  The numbers aren’t code names  The numbers are their name names.  Like, legally.  I just found an article that said he ordered them by how useful he thinks they are, but judging by the adoption papers it was actually in the order he, uh,” Hardison coughs, “acquired them.”

Eliot is swaying where he stands.  “Common tactic.  He’s pitting them against one another so they’ll be easier to control.  It undermines the self worth of the ones lower on the scale and makes the ones that are higher up feel obligated to do what he wants.  Son of a bitch.”

“...And it looks like he leveraged their powers as excuse to gain exemptions from child protection laws,” Hardison continues like he hasn’t been interrupted.  “Claimed their abilities meant they don’t need the same safeguards.”

“That’s bullshit!” Eliot sounds thunderous.

“I know, buddy,” Hardison reaches over blindly, waving his hand around vaguely until he finds Eliot’s shoulder.  He gives it a comforting squeeze.  “I didn’t write it.”

Eliot heaves in a shuddering breath.  “That’s just--”

“Evil,” Sophie finishes.  

“I’m inclined to agree,” Nate says.  He’s not watching the TV anymore.  He’s staring off into the middle distance, arms crossed over his chest.

“Oh!” Parker perks up.  All the grief and distress that had been brewing on her face vanishes like storm clouds parting for the sun.  “Nate! Nate, are you scheming?  You look like you’re scheming.”

Nate makes a noncommittal grunt.  “It would be dangerous.”

“They’re in danger,” Sophie says softly, jerking her head in the television’s direction.

Eliot’s long-since gotten to his feet.  He’s pacing, and that’s how Parker knows he’s furious.  When Eliot is too angry to stand it, he has to move, has to find some way to handle the rage roiling under his skin.  Usually he cooks, chopping vegetables with furious aplomb.  And when he can’t cook, he paces.  

“They’re fucking child soldiers,” he says.  “I can’t--” he cuts himself off with a furious shake of the head.  I can’t believe, he was about to say, Parker thinks, but he had to stop because that’s not true.  Eliot knows better than anyone what the government--what the world does to people they find useful, whether its skill or power that makes them so.

“Y’all are behind,” Hardison says in sing-song.  “I’m already trying to burn this motherfucker down.”

“Hardison, do not tip our hand,” Nate says, snapping into his leader-voice automatically.  Parker grins.  He’s already got a plan, then.  She knew all that reluctance was just for show.  Sophie laughs, as clear and bright as the ringing of a bell, and even Eliot perks up.  

Hardison grumbles, closing his laptop and stuffing it back in his messenger bag.  

Nate is grinning a little too, though it’s that angry smile he gets sometimes when Parker knows he’s thinking about hurting bad people.  She understands.  She's wearing hers too right now.  Nate glances them all over, and for all the malice dripping off the knife’s edge of that smile, his eyes are soft.  Maybe even a little proud.

“Fine. Fine. You guys win,” Nate says, lifting his hands in defeat.  He’s putting on a show of being beleaguered, but Parker can hear the sparking anger in his voice, and oh, how could she have forgotten?  Sophie is so gently righteous, Hardison so achingly distressed, and Eliot so full of fire and fury that she almost didn’t notice Nate’s seething wrath, nearly forgot that Nate looks at every injured child in need of help and thinks of Sam.  “Everyone, get your things.  Hardison, get us some plane tickets.  Let’s go steal some children.”

“Okay, okay.  I ain’t complaining cause, like, fuck that guy,” Hardison says, slinging his bag over his shoulder.  “But stealing children?  Could you have made us sound anymore like kidnappers?”

“Hardison!”

“I’m just saying.”

#tua #the umbrella academy #leverage #my writing #this is kind of garbage but i cant stop thinking about it!!!