#but mostly gender euphoria and feels tbh | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

huecycles · 1 year

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oh hey :) thanks for the kind comments and tags left under the last post!

it's so wild how body hair in art & media in general is seen as something "disgusting" or "weird", at first i thought that maybe the way i drew it made it look confusing but no way in hell you couldn't zoom in or just... think logically to know that is natural hair? some people are hairy like that! the way i draw it is more fluffy yes because i love floof and i dont give a shit tbh lol

i knew about the "issue" of jevil being fat so the body hair one threw me for a loop like wow. idk why jevil specifically gets this type of treatment, maybe other fat characters in utdr do too but i always see toriel, asgore, alphys, lancer, king, catti, sans who is a skeleton (and i really can't see him any other way, the fandom is doing a great job in keeping him chubby-like i love that) drawn with mostly correct proportions to in game/official art, yet jevil seems to get this mixed reaction. idk why i still see skinny jevil, or why some people insist his clown clothes are just "baggy". the jester is circular, look at his torso please for the love of god. sorry but i just want more fat rep as a fat person myself. i want jevil to remain short (his sprite is shorter than kris and slightly taller than spamton) and fat like he is in game!

drawing him helped me understand a lot about plus size anatomy, and honestly i couldn't be more happy about that because i'm also dealing a lot better with my body image issues and finally bringing more diversity to my art. him being hairy too is yet another thing that makes me happy as someone with pcos, and portraying him as a fat, hairy trans man as someone who is nonbinary and for months has been wanting to experiment with different pronouns/wondering how it would be like to transition is something really special. it's messy and silly but spamton and jevil are the ultimate comfort characters/ship to me, their stories and how they were written speak volumes and resonate with me a lot + headcanoning them as t4t has been beyond freeing and making me get a lot of gender euphoria/dysphoria/envy all at the same time lmfao what the fuck.

i'm honestly glad for these characters because they're what helped me articulate my recent feelings about my gender to my mother, who has grown a lot and is making an effort to understand all of this. the reaction i sometimes get from people who talk to me, come into my inbox or just pour their feelings out in the tags about how they love my portrayal of spamton and jevil's gender identity + their relationship and how important it is to them is so so cool. yeah :)

speaking of chest hair, here's how spamton looks without the shirt. the left side of his chest has a panel for his heart (a smaller version of neo's) and of course top surgery scars, a different type. he's also hairy! not that much since he's a puppet but he still has the addison floof, it's cute

#didnt mean to ramble lmao #i guess that makes up for that one post #where i said i'd talk about t4t spamvil #and i'm honestly still not done #this is more on the personal side of things tbh #i dont like sharing too much.#but it's nice to see positive things and all #esp now that im going through such a dark time in my life #ill leave the actual trans talk and how/why i believe spam & jev are transmasc for the sideblog lol #there's a lot to go on in the case of spamton of course #but also for jevil #based on my interpretations of a few of his lines #taking his personality into account as well #and his relationship with spamton #dhscdnk kinda giddy i'll leave that for later #they make me so soft #and happy #i want to wrap them up in a blanket #burrito style #what banger characters #do i even tag them here uh #yeah whatever #spamton #jevil #transgender #i like the thing tumblr gives to pride tags :)#my art #txt

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ftmcutiepie · 3 months

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Just A Girl January Day 26

I wore a red thong and matching bralette under my boy clothes to class today and when I got home I stripped down to my underwear, changed into more comfortable red panties and put on a skirt, nothing over it, just the bralette like a crop top.

I felt sooo cute and feminine🥺💕💕💕

It was still too cold to wear that outfit for long though, so I put on pants and a black mesh top and jacket over the bralette and 😳😳😳 not to be a tease bc I won't post pics but I looked so fucking hot??? Undeniably like a woman, too.

It felt sooo good and right and I was sooo horny🥰🥰🥰

This kink is making me enjoy being a woman in ways I haven't really before transitioning.

I don't really know what my point is tbh. (More rambly, less sexy thoughts under the cut)

Full disclosure, I'm very much still a guy. Kinda like a femboy, I guess? I really like the term ftm girl for me bc it's like yeah. I'm ftm and a "girl". But not in a cis way, in an explicitly transmasc way.

I don't feel like the term "non-binary" really fits, though.

I'm not gonna detransition for the kink although the idea is ridiculously hot. Hell, I'm not even really questioning my gender. Like I said, still a guy.

I just. Kinda wish I had someone I could "be a girl with" IRL. Someone who misgenders me and I can dress femme around and treats me like a girl.

I can't wait for summer and hope I'll have opportunities to dress femme around trusted friends and/or in public where no one knows me.

I kindaaa wanna tell someone I'm questioning my gender and wanna try out they/she pronouns but I don't wanna lieee and I won't involve unconsenting people in what is mostly a kink. Like, there's some enjoyment I get out of "womanhood" that's not explicitly sexual, kinda like gender euphoria, but in a femboy way? lol. But like 99% of my enjoyment is kinky so🤷‍♂️

#i won't maintag this as it feels personal #also like not sure if this applies to my followers but like. cishets don't be weird. let a guy have fun with his gender <3 #also also i have unanswered anon asks sitting in my inbox because i am busyyy i'll get back to you

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snapitkeeper · 7 months

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Ok posting my very personal and dear Gale headcanon.

Gale is genderqueer to me.

Ok so Genderqueer Gale. Gnc Gale. Yes. General note I think he's amab. But if we see this from a Gale perspective I genuinely don't think he personally would identify as anything other than cis. HIM PERSONALLY. He's just fine w that label. This might also be bc I don't think he'd really actually think that hard about his gender at all. He's just kinda like yup this is what I'm comfortable with. This is what I feel like. He also doesn't mind being called by she / her pronouns, but does mostly go by he / him. Will never admit it but people calling him by she / her pronouns just makes his heart flutter just a little bit.... even if it's an accident.

THAT BEING SAID. I do think sometimes he feels especially feminine, POSSIBLY feels like a woman somewhere deep inside him on some days?? I genuinely don't know how to explain it. I also feel like he doesn't really tell people about these feelings, but maybe it's more like he doesn't feel like he NEEDS to. This is just who he is. And he's ok with it and feels like he doesn't have to justify it. This is just who Gale is.

I also feel like. Possibly. Hair Length he has in the game is actually him in the process of growing it out longer to see how he likes it. I feel like he does eventually grow it out longer but end up cutting it again cause he likes that length ( the one he has in game ). He also likes wearing eye shadow and painting his nails, both purple cause I think it's his favorite color. I also think he would sometimes like wearing long skirts and dresses, but only the long ones that like go down to his ankles. I think his favorite would be skirts especially.

Ok now this is where u guys really have to stick w me. Idk exactly when, tbh I imagine it mostly like. Post-game. But. Gale feels especially feminine for awhile, decides that to get the most gender euphoria out of his feelings, he decides to go on estrogen for awhile, idk how long, possibly around 4-6 months?? Grows a small amount if breast tissue, but sometimes wears bras because he likes how he feels in them. Also possibly when he grows out his hair longer. But NEVER cuts his beard. He loves his beard. It's part of the gender. Just never shaves in general. Never felt like it. Also keeps his voice the way it is and doesn't try to do any voice training or anything, he likes it the way it is. Possibly using this to cope with the events of the game?? In a way?? I think being in touch with his femininity really heals something within him.

Alright now I get to talk about him and Vreth ( my tav ) with all of this. Tbh I feel like Vreth is the one who introduces him into doing his makeup, because Vreth actually does his own makeup ( I try to make it obvious but Vreth has eyeliner ). For a little Vreth was the one who did Gales eyeshadow until he learned how to do it himself. I also don't think Gale ever like. Expresses how he feels to Vreth, as I mentioned earlier, just bc he feels like that's just who he is and he shouldn't have to try and justify it. Vreth just realizes it's just how he is and just rolls with it basically. Maybe possibly Vreth asks if he can call him by feminine things just to get an idea of the extent of Gales femininity.

I like to think that during Gales time on estrogen, he likes to update Vreth on changes and feelings he has. One that always plays in my head is Vreth asking how he is and Gale tells him about how his nipples hurt, and they both think it's funny ( sign he's growing breasts ). I just think that they'd really bond during this experience in a way, probably because Vreth is Trans and had to go through body changes.

#baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #gale dekarios

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hypereutectoid · 5 months

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My relationship with my gender

More gender posting: I have, for a long long time, had a very distant relationship with gender - and my body and self-image. Mostly, I have withdrawn from it or viewed it as a void unworthy of my attention. Dressed shabbily, not cared. I have been default masc, because AMAB, but like... I get occasional flashes of masc euphoria. Catch beard in a mirror or photo in the right angle. How good I look in chainmail or a hint of chest hair under a shirt neck. The rumble of my deep singing voice. But y'know, it's *rare*? And I feel disconnected from myself most of the time. It's not a good feeling tbh. (Closest to body euphoria I used to get was how flowy my dancing is, and that's not gendered in my head - this is why I love to dance so much). But there have been flashes of wanting to try out femme stuff, and those make me *excited*! Even if also scary AF and avoided due to social risk avoidance, they've been there, in moments, since very young. So like... the fact I still get masc euphoria (even if rarely) makes me thing I'm enby rather than transfem. But exploring my femme side gives me more chances to seek out and inhabit gender euphoria, rather than gender apathy, if that makes sense? I'm choosing to seek out, inhabit, enjoy, my gender and my euphoria, rather than languish in "this only rarely fits".

#genderfluid #trans #transgender #genderqueer #non binary #nonbinary #transfem #enby #euphoria #gender identity #queerness #queer stuff #gender

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enchanting-grom-fright · 2 months

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today was nice question mark

this morning was not like especially horrible but like pretty bad and then i was going to cancel it but didn’t want to actually ask to cancel it so my mom picked me up at like 12:45 to go and to the animal shelter i volunteer at and for some reason like right before the ride there my mood just like got 100x better and the ride there was so enjoyable like my mom wasn’t talking to me so i just got to listen to music (i’ve had punisher on repeat all day) and look out the window and like it was very nice weather and the ride is like 45 minutes all the way across the city so there was like a decent amount to see and i loveeeee people watching like genuinely like !! and i love seeing like all the graffiti and murals and bumper stickers and animals and every just everything ahhhh and then i went to the shelter and the cats were being so sweet i actually like prompted someone to adopt the specific cat i was socializing and then i had to print stuff so my mom took me to her house and i like never do this bcs my mom doesn’t usually let me but i just like didn’t ask her and i just walked around my neighborhood for like over an hr and i saw a cool punk person who i complimented and i picked up some trash to reuse for collage and i got a monster bcs duh and i had music on blast the whole time and it was so nice like :3 to be fair i was like also nauseatingly anxious the whole time for no real reason but like i mostly ignored that and tbh it was also nice bcs like i by myself made the day better for me instead of doing the opposite which is what i usually do so likee

oh wait photo dump time ok

[i took a bunch of photos of cool graffiti and art and places too but i don’t feel like putting them here so]

ooo kitty from the shelter awww

whatt it’s me getting a monster ?! guys i love monster i love the pink I LOVE THE COLOR PINK !!!!! umm also excuse the boring outfit i’ve been in the same clothes since like thursday evening but bcs i was like going out in public i finally changed but i didn’t have the energy to like actually wear cool clothes sooo but also my closet is like strictly alt stuff anyways i happened to pick out a very convenient outfit though at least bcs tank tops give me like genuinely ridiculous amounts of gender euphoria but also i hate wearing short sleeves bcs it’s very sensory intense to but i also grabbed my hoodie so like i got the tank top ness but also hoodie ness and also i love my hoodie it’s like so old but it has like the best feel to it

butttt i forgot i don’t have more photos with those from before oops wtvr in other news dead end is a really good show watch it and punisher is truly an amazing album that phoebe bridgers definitely took from my non existent diary (obviously) ummmm guys i never know what i’m saying ever i don’t remember what i said i remember thinking like omg this sounds pathetic and also thinking abt how one time on twt i saw someone say that :3 would sound like the mlp smile noise ok iii should shut up now byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

(get it like the owl house hahaha ok)

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haintxblue · 8 months

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i was telling a funny story to a (cis!!!!!) friend about how one time I held the door for a very masculine, visibly queer person who jokingly said "oh, you're such a gentleman, chivalry isn't dead" to me while I was wearing a pantsuit but still extremely femme and wearing a pride flag pin on my lapel, like... a queer man recognizing a queer woman and saying thank you in the absolute funniest way possible

And I was like, it was so funny because I'm so cis but something about the specific gayness of this exchange made me feel very sexy and comfortable in my skin in a way I think must be similar to what I've heard called gender euphoria

And they will not let it go that maybe I'm actually not cis! And tbh they've brought it up often enough I regret telling the story and debated whether I should even post this lest I get more but like

It feels bad to do something like, slightly GNC like when i say I like wearing suits or I wish I had a dwarf beard to braid and put flowers in, or to have an exchange that gently pokes fun at the gender binary like when I held that door and the funniest gay alive complimented me and I enjoyed it, and be told that these experiences are incompatible with being cis. Like I don't like that I am somehow being framed as contributing to the gender binary because it's "obviously egg behavior" and I must not know myself. And like 90% of it is coming from cis people in my life.

But I also worry if I am complaining about this or whatever it's gonna come off like i am somehow afraid of being perceived as trans, which isn't it at all. If a stranger or a casual acquaintance perceives me as trans I don't care, and I only care about a friend doing it because they should know me, lol. But the insistence on telling me that I MUST be and that I cannot know myself feels a) patronizing, b) cissexist and cisnormative in a gross way, and c) like it is happening to me with increasing frequency, and idk what to do about it. Like I've talked about it before but it really feels regressive that the slightest bit of GNC behavior means you must secretly be trans, especially when like I said it's mostly coming from cis people? Like what a weird way to police the binary. I'm barely even qualifying as GNC when I do these things wtf

#Personal #Had to make sure this person doesn't follow me here lmao #But I feel like I do when people insist I'm a lesbian experiencing comphet #Like no I'm bisexual and that's actually insanely dismissive of something complicated and nuanced #Transphobia \#Tangentially related but someone I know online told me they thought I was trans cos I'd mentioned being so tall and having big feet once an #Like #What the fuck kind of thing is this to say to someone holy shit can you imagine the implications of thinking like that #I gently yelled at them #How fucked up

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ellilyre · 1 year

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Trans force 141

Just my hcs about their individual transitions ect ect

written by a trans man

Price

he considered himself as a butch lesbian for a long time

a lot of internalized transphobia. (ex "well i would've liked to be a man, but im not. if i can accept that then ppl can stop being delusional")

when in his early 20's he met a girl, and when things started to get 'serious' between them she told him she's trans. He liked her too much already to just brush her off, so he finally allowed himself to ask questions he was asshamed to have...

that night he finally understood a lot of things. that ppl don't usually wish they were born as the other sex, that most girls dont try to masculin themseve, that its ok to feel that way, ect ...

also im not sure how to explain that but he don't actually only like girls : he convinced himself that 'i like being masculin bc im a lesbian'. Figuring out his gender somehow made him take conscious of his repressed attraction to men (dont mind me im projecting)

transition when you're already in the military isn't easy. hrt, coming out, changing uniforms and dorms... That did ended in some verbal/physical abuses, well, it would have happened if Price weren't that badass and ready to fight back til he gets respected.

the only long leaves he personally asked for was to get and heal his top surgery and a hysterectomy

he has always loved the name Johnathan. he doesn't know why but it sound pretty to him. naturally he knew he wanted to be call that

Ghost

when he was still a child he tried to tell his mother about how he wants to be a boy, but she brushed it off, blaming it on his father's abuses (she genuinely meant it)

before he even knows what transidentity is he got himself a v good passing and got everyone treating him like a boy, but he still assumed its more a trauma-respond kind of feeling

when he was about 16yo he learnt about transidentity and- yeah that just made sens

dont ask me how he found hrt but he sure did

before getting into the military he spent a lot of time in gay/queer bars. he didn't really liked these places but it was the only places he could find ppl like him that could somehow help him

when he came back home after years in the military (like in his comic) his transition was fully done. his mother still thoughts it was a trauma-respond, but if it makes her child happier then she accepted it. Tommy called it bullshits and called him slurs, but it went better after he recovedred from drugs. his dad.... well :')

his dad still called him his daughter until his very last breath

he dont have any surgery done. he'd like to but after everything he's been trought, the idea of being put artificially on sleep, especially while knowing ppl are going to do things with his body, sound terrifying to him.

Never uses binders. When its a dysphoria day he uses tape but most of the time he dont bind at all.

Gaz

First of all, this guy has two moms (im not taking criticisms on that), so the hard part of a transition wouldn't be to come out but mostly that he knew ppl would blame it on his mothers

... and yeah, lot of ppl said its bc he dont has a father. But don't worry he never let them talk for long. He almost got expelled from his highschool for beating up a kid being transphobic/homophobic

His moms sometimes said like "why don't you ask the household's man for that ?" And it gaves him such gender euphoria before realizing they use it to makes him do chores without complains

Now it has become a kind of running gag. Whenever they ask him to do something he's like "ohh you need a strong manly alpha man",

I feel like Kyle was the name of the mc of his favorite book as a pre-teen.

The most normal and chill transition out of everyone here : doubted his gender identity, talk about it with his moms, got estrogens blockers, went on t few years later...

ikr this one hc is a bit blend compared to the others here, but tbh i just really love Gaz and i want him to be happy

he also don't bind often. but unlike Ghost he has a small chest and ppl usually assumes its pecs

he dont plan on getting top surgery (not necessary) but wants a phalloplasty

Soap

bro has known he was a boy ever since he left the womb.

when he was a kiddo he was only playing with boys and wore boys clothes and stuffs. ppl were confused ("did the MacTavish also told you they had a babygirl ? bc that's clearly a boy playing with our kiddos")

his (big) family inst closed minded, but theyre from a rather small town in the Highlands and are kinda traditionalists

so yeah theyre a bit confuse but if their child is happier playing with boys, why being dicks about it

he eventually came out in his teen years and his parents were a bit confused but at the same time it... makes sens. like yeah that kid has been like a boy since baby

his family (especially parents) struggled to understand whats the difference between being trangender and a tomboy. theyre not transphobics, the concept just is very strange

the story of how he somehow found hrt is even darker than Ghost's

used to unsafe binde sm im surprise he can still breath

he was on hrt when he entered military, and kinda had to fight to be in the men's dorms, but it worked bc hes a badass

no surgeries done (bc he doesn't want to take long leaves), but he plans to get top and bottoms surgeries somedays

#now that im thinking about it the girl i mentioned with Price can totally be Laswell #they dated for 4 weeks and then broke up bc it didnt worked out although Price was still head over heels for her for like 6 more months #now hes terribly embarassed whenever she brings up the subject #thank you for coming to my transgenders 141 agenda #call of duty mw2 #call of duty modern warfare #john price #johnny soap mactavish #ghost simon riley #kyle gaz garrick #cod headcanons #task force 141

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bosspigeon · 9 months

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5 Favorite Fics

@omgkalyppso tagged me for this! Post your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to some other writers!

Oh oof idk if im gonna rank them or anything but uuuh here we go! i mostly write one-shots and like little slice-of-life prompt stuff, but occasionally things are explicit!

all that i want is to be yours

Wrote this one for the Hot Wayhaven Summer event a while back, and tbh it's still one i look back on fondly! Rated E with Trans!Adam and my detective, Arlo, featuring gender euphoria, awkward conversations, sex shops, and first-time pegging! it was just really fun to write tbh

2. a gentler way to burn

Critical Role Widoleaf fanfic! This one was actually a commission for a friend that i took so long to write, one of the characters Fucking Died in the interim. I summarily ignored that. M rated because it's two idiots reading a TERRIBLE trashy romance novel, making fun of it, and dancing around feelings~ And, uh, me accidentally making a character quote Supernatural without realizing it? 😳

3. was there ever a cat so clever

T rated Skyrim fanfic! Just a cute little backstory fic for my first ever Skyrim character, Ma'scha the Khajiit thief! nothing but Found Family Shenanigans and accidental dad Brynjolf. Got a few more backstory fics for Ma'scha i've written, and more that i still want to write, but this one is still pretty fun to go back and read.

4. will you still be here tomorrow?

i've got Blood Moon on the brain again, and tbh this prompt fic was just so fun and sweet to write. Marco's such a fun character, i had a great time getting into his head, writing him cracking jokes, even if they're mostly to himself. i just think Marco and Vesper have such a cute relationship, tbh. M rated bc this is uuuuh post-sex lmao.

5. some strange kind of euphoria

WELL ya had to know this one was coming. My most recent fic, and tbh i'm still kicking my feet and giggling over it. Started off as me going "i wanna write about a beefy man in lingerie" and then turn into 6k words of character study, hurt/comfort, trauma, and affirmation through putting a beefy man in lingerie. Hey, whatever works. Rated M for references to sex/kink!

uuuuh gonna tag @queenbol @steves-strapcollection @proustianrecall and uuuh whoever else wants to, ig? i always feel weird tagging people for stuff like this

#pidge does stuff #tag games #pidge writes #thanks! hgdsjkhg this was fun #kinda hard but fun

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profictiontheatre · 1 year

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Genderfluid Hercules Hc/Au stuff

This is kinda just a random bulletpoint list of my ideas for this so far so apologies for not being very coherent or organized fhfhjfjf

Also, I default to he/him to make this easier but I feel like he’d be cool with anything, probably preferring they/them if it’s a particularly confusing sort of day

-The basic idea is that along with his strength, Hercules also retained some of his ability to shapeshift the way a god would be able to

-Unlike his strength, which was very obvious from the moment he was found on Earth, he doesn’t realize this about himself until he’s in his teens (about the time we skip to in the film, before he sets out to talk to Zeus)

-He only discovers it because he’s feeling rather distraught abt something that happened that day, likely with the bullies saying something particularly hurtful

-He’s all alone by the tree on the cliff (from Go the Distance ) and suddenly he feels himself change, walks down to the beach to look at his reflection and realizes he looks a lot more feminine and he gets a massive rush of euphoria from it

-When he does meet with Zeus he mentions it in accordance with his strength, and ofc it goes basically the same as it does in the movie, Zeus doesn’t really care and supports him and what makes him happy; he is still a god after all

-Phil makes a joke about it when they meet for all of two seconds before he gets struck by lighting again

-*Danny DeVito voice*

“Well helloooo there~….KID! Don’t do that to me! Eugh, you need to wear a sign that says “Hercules” at all times or somethin’”

-Hilariously, he also uses his powers to escape from crowds because absolutely no one recognized him, they just think he’s some girl that’s really obsessed. Meg can tell, though.

-THAT is a very awkward conversation, but she supports him wholeheartedly. Problem is, he is notoriously very articulate when he’s nervous so it takes forever and a half for him to spit out how he feels

-He often shifts to a mid-point between overly feminine and masculine. A mostly androgynous look (should go without saying though that whatever form he takes, he looks built as hell)

-He tells Phil that calling him “kid” all the time rather than anything gendered is actually really validating and he loves it; Phil supports him but still doesn’t Get It tbh (not in a mean way he’s just like, I don’t care what you are, you’re always trouble to me ❤️ (affectionate))

-Hades, getting pissed at Meg for not doing what he said: YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE FINDING OUT HERCULES’ WEAKNESS!! WHO’S THIS RANDOM GIRL YOU KEEP HANGING OUT WITH

Meg:

#GN #f/o tag: zero to hero #hercules #hercules 1997 #disney hercules #headcanon #proship safe #proship #self ship #hhh I love him #can you tell i am projecting SO hard

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brighteyedbushybrowed · 1 year

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no no you have a point on the “he/him but sometimes she/her” terzo. as someone who mostly identifies with they/them pronouns but feels unnecessarily happy when someone throws in a random he/him or even she/her pronoun randomly in the mix, i agree.

i can see him liking mixed-gendered terms being used for him as well, like being called a “handsome pretty boy” or something (may just be me cuz i love it when people do that to me💀). or even not being referred as solely masculine and/or gender neutral terms/pronouns, he doesn’t mind it at all, he just gets the beautiful feeling of gender euphoria when someone switches it up a bit. tbh he prolly understands it in the most non-understanding way.

this prolly makes no sense cuz i just kind of rambled on with whatever came out of my mind so it’s prolly a bit jumbled up, sorry about that 😃, but thanks for coming to my ted talk, have a great day!❤️

Yes!!! I totally get that as someone who is a he/they and loves to be called both handsome boy and pretty boy.

For me Terzo feels v much like he doesn't have a gender he identifies as specifically, but she/her really does something for her and gives him that but of gender euphoria that he may not get with he/him. He's v comfortable with his identity and gendered terms don't really phase him (someone called him a handsome lady once and he was v happy the rest of the day after that)

#asks #stoicfied #terzo is a he/him she/her icon #terzo #papa emeritus iii #the band ghost #ghost headcanons #headcanons

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jackals-ships · 1 year

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for the SI universe thing, That Time I Got Reincarnated As A Slime OWO you will have a field day with this I can tell

[assign me a universe !]

OH THE ONE WITH THE TSUNDERE DRAGON??? <- that is the extent of jackals current knowledge <3 bc i keep meaning to get in2 it and then ADHD brain goes bzzzz bzzzzzzz

i just think he's neat ! anyways hjf you are absolutely correct im having a field day i LOVE the Isekai genre (which I feel is apparent considering. gestures at multiple ships)

loud thinking emojis i think it would be kinda funny if jackals got isekaid with the same premise ie murder not bc murder is funny but bc they'd be SOO fucking mad about it, like i was DOING THINGS!!! i was BUSY!!!! >:0

an going thru the list of monsters I did not immediately see puppydog monsters which like homophobic /j but i think. deathman jackal would be very fun (also hi Mr Clayman) mostly on the basis of "possess an appearance based on their own self-image" like. Spell Of Instant Gender Euphoria all it took was a little murder as a treat-

that or vampire jackal bc i am ENTIRELY unable to resist the sexy siren call of vampires <3

im not entirely sure what their role would be in an overarching kind of story tbh? other than like. Causing Problems For Funsies, holding up mr slime and going "this is my new friend (⁠ﾉ⁠◕⁠ヮ⁠◕⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠*⁠.⁠✧ he is small and Squishy" and making heart eyes at dragons

#jackals barks #ask games #golden tag #tsun dragon tsun dragon tsun dr #FUN FACT I KEEP GETTING THE DRAGON GUY INTRO SCENE IN MY YT RECOMMENDEDS HFJKD #YT said you WILL obverse Large Dragon Buddy

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yournowheregirl · 11 months

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10 & 22 for the pride asks! (happy pride month, btw <333333)

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH BEE! 🏳️‍🌈💖

10. Something that gives you gender euphoria (whether you're cis or trans).

Oof that's a tough one actually. I don't really think about my gender that much, never really questioned it either if I'm honest. But!! I do love being able to switch clothing styles depending on the kind of mood I'm feeling if that makes sense. Like one day I feel like wearing dresses and shiny earrings and feel like a princess and the next day you can find me in men's basketball shorts and a hoodie. Is that a gender thing? I don't even know. I just love clothes that fit the mood.

22. How do you usually celebrate Pride month?

In theory, I'd love to go out and visit Pride celebrations. We have a bunch of different Pride celebrations scattered across the country and across the year (some are in June, some are in August). But, I am an awkward introvert with no close queer friends so I don't really go to those. Mostly I think I just try and learn new things about the community, maybe watch a new documentary or movie or something. But tbh, every month is Pride month in my household because I live in my house and I'm queer so, yaaaay gay!

#starrystevie #asks

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hanamiyama-basketball-club · 1 year

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tbh I mostly avoid writing trans fic because I think I'm terrible at it (though I'm glad I wrote no princess, it's a very afternoon special of a fic but I think you're allowed to write cathartic cheesy bullshit sometimes) but maybe I should just spend some time thinking about the day to day of a trans dice. *does* he pack? he's got that long jacket but it's not hiding his front. I kinda just projected my own feeling of "packing would be for my own euphoria not for anyone else and he's got too many other things to worry about" but this is kinda the problem with me constantly projecting agender-ish feelings onto a character I am trying to write as binary; just because I'm not thinking about how men identify other men doesn't mean they aren't.

(this is why I'm sorta inclined to write yuuto as nb if I ever do write that yuuto trans fic; I kinda specifically want to write something cathartic about my own high school experience and I don't think that would really match up with the experience of a yuuto who eventually determined they were a girl. and yeah that's maybe a weird take on a character who self-soothes by pretending(? but that's how yuuto would put it rn) to be a girl but I don't think it has to be as straightforward as that.)

though I guess as someone whose natural body is pretty ambiguous trying to be my assigned gender was like transition except I was shitty at it and didn't want to do it so not like transition at all except for in the part where it was a lot of work. I did look at trans women's advice posts a lot though

#notes to self #yeah this is inspired by james's post but isn't really about that dw about it #I'm just Thinking

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voiceless-terror · 3 years

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Outside the Lines

for @archivalpride month! the prompt was ‘sharing clothes’ so I decided to add on a bit to my More than Enough archives polycule fic. you don’t need to read it beforehand, though. 2.2k words, cw in the tags.

Jon likes Sasha’s clothes. Particularly, her cardigans.

They’re warm, oversized things in pastel colors, chunky cable knits and ancient pullovers, smelling faintly of jasmine and sandalwood. There’s always one draped over the back of her chair at work, at home. Sometimes a pile of them.

“Just in case,” she said knowingly, when Jon mentioned the teetering pile on the back of her office chair.

“Of what, a blizzard?” he replied archly, to which she had no response.

But Jon runs cold, so it makes sense that he’d like them. And eye them. And eventually, borrow them.

“You look good in pink,” she said casually, walking by him cozily wrapped up, surrounded by books for his latest case. “You should wear it more often.” Jon just grumbled in response.

It now sits on the back of his chair.

Point is, they’re not strangers to sharing clothes. Once they move in together, the lines blur even more. Jon’s scarves become hers, her jackets become his. It’s nice when the someone’s scent begins to remind you of home. Embarrassingly, he’s come to think of it like a hug when she’s not around. Perhaps she feels the same way, but Jon’s not going to bring it up. He’s not that maudlin.

“You need to stop me from online shopping,” she groans one day, dropping a pile of clothing into his lap that must have been from the newly-arrived and altogether giant box he found on the steps of their flat. Jon had raised an eyebrow as she guiltily hauled it to her room and got to work. “I swear, I don’t remember ordering half of this.”

“Far be it from me to get between a James and her phone,” he replies, picking through the pile of utterly un-Sasha-like clothing. It’s all floaty tops and tiny skirts, nothing like what she usually gravitates toward. She certainly has more...adventurous tastes, when she’s intoxicated.

“Don’t look at me like that.”

“I’m not looking at you at all,” Jon retorts, picking up the most offensive piece from the pile with his thumb and pointer finger: a muted brown, and yet somehow sparkly miniskirt. He raises a judgmental eyebrow. “Really?”

“I was not in my right state of mind, you know that.” She ran a hand over her face, refusing to look him in the eye. “Anyway, see if there’s anything in there you like. Otherwise, it’s all going back.”

Jon very much doubts there’s much in here for him - not a chunky knit in sight. The tops aren’t too bad, but a bit too sheer for his liking, and if he’s going to layer, he’d rather be comfortable than fashionable. He pushes the pile off his lap when something catches his eye. Buried beneath two very loud shirts is something black, with bits of lace. He pulls it out to find a simple black dress, high-necked with pearl buttons and slightly puffed sleeves. It’s modest, but covered in a delicate lace pattern. His grip tightens incrementally. “You don’t like this?”

Sasha peeks her head around the corner. “S’bit short on me. You should try it on, though. It’s cute.”

Jon flushes. It’s something he might’ve worn in uni, when he and Georgie made a night of it and Jon had just enough liquid courage. Now, though, it doesn’t fit with his professional persona and strict uniform of blazers, vests, and button ups. He needed to be taken seriously, and he didn’t feel he could do that if he was...experimenting, as his grandmother would phrase it. His hair he still wears long, the only vestige of that life he kept. “Oh,” he responds automatically, “I couldn’t.”

Sasha blinks. “I think you’d look really nice. Put your hair up, maybe add some earrings.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“I’m not.” She comes behind his perch on the sofa, gathering his hair up in her hand and pulling it from his face. “Leave a few pieces out, y’know, artfully messy.” She takes the dress and pulls it up against his body. “What do you think?”

“Um, maybe,” he barely manages to whisper. It feels nice, right. He can see it in his mind’s eye - it looks very him. Not feminine or masculine, just pretty. Just Jon. “I’ll think about it.”

He thinks about it. The dress hangs in the back of his closet, untouched and passed over many a morning. He tried it on and Sasha had been right- of course she was, she’s good at that sort of thing when not inebriated. Maybe one day he’d wear it out - not to work, but to drinks or something.

Maybe.

It’s not until months down the line that he tugs it out, on one of those days where he feels like his body doesn’t make sense and names sound wrong in his ears. Drinks with Tim, the newest recruit to their department. Hard won drinks, if Jon might add; Tim was just starting to open up to them. He tugs the dress over his head and digs through a plate on his dresser for the long silver earrings Sasha gave him last Christmas. He studiously avoids the mirror on his way out the door, throwing his bag over his shoulder and standing in the doorway, as if waiting for Sasha’s reaction.

This was a bad idea, he thinks as his palms start to sweat. You look ridiculous, you shouldn’t have- his thoughts are interrupted by a gentle hand tucking a piece of hair behind his ear. Sasha smiles at him.

“Oh, you’re perfect.”

Tim thinks so too.

----------

“Oh man, I’ve got to get rid of that.”

Tim motions to the blazer in Sasha’s hand. “Hasn’t fit me since uni. Y’know, when I got these guns.” Sasha rolls her eyes as he makes an exaggerated motion with his arms. They’ve been cleaning out Tim’s apartment for the past few hours, she and Tim in the bedroom while Jon sorted through his books in the living room. She suspects he’s doing more reading than sorting.

“Why’d you keep it, then?” She holds the hanger up, smoothing the fabric out with her hand. It’s heavy, quality fabric. A shame to get rid of it.

“Dunno, just one of those things,” he shrugs, throwing another pair of joggers onto the bed. “It was expensive, but I only ever wore it to interviews for internships and the like. You can toss it in the donate pile.”

She hums idly, making no motion to get rid of it. She’s rather fond of blazers, has quite a few in her collection. They’re nice when she wants to be a bit more dressy and professional. A woman’s outfit can occasionally be her armor, particularly in academia, and nothing says ‘take me seriously’ like a nicely fitted jacket and skirt. Never mind how it makes her feel. But this is very much a men’s blazer, barely a nip at the waist and with nothing to outline the curve of her body. And yet.

She shoves it in her bag. If she doesn’t like it, she’ll throw it out.

_______

When Jon and Tim are tucked in bed, she tries it on.

She doesn’t know why she’s being so secretive about this. It’s not like Jon and Tim will care, it’s just clothes. Lord knows she’s encouraged Jon to wear whatever he wants, and there’s no surefire way to get Tim blushing like wearing one of his pullovers. But there’s something that feels a bit transgressive about it. She was generally drawn to more feminine looks, growing up as a tall girl there’s an inherent (perhaps taught) idea that making herself look smaller and delicate would make her more appealing. Appealing for what? She always wanted to ask. But she knows the answer now. It’s taken near a decade to get the slouch out of her posture and to get comfortable wearing heels.

It seems silly to feel so cowed by a blazer. She’s thirty years old, unmarried and living with two partners. She stopped playing by the rules a long time ago. Her hands shouldn’t be shaking. For Christ’s sake, just put it on.

She slips her arms into the sleeves, pausing to inhale the leftover scent of Tim, his laundry detergent and the after shave he occasionally wears. Her entire body warms, like stepping into a bath. She slips the rest of it on, pausing to adjust the shirt underneath. When she looks in the mirror, she can’t help the grin that fills her face. She looks good. Her broad shoulders fit the line of the jacket perfectly, her curves hidden and barely even suggested by the cut. It is decidedly not feminine.

She likes it.

It takes her twenty minutes to drag herself from the bathroom and back into bed. She lies awake through Tim’s light snores and Jon’s murmuring, filled with a strange, nervous excitement. It’s just a blazer, she thinks to herself somewhat giddily. It’s just clothes. But when she throws it on that Monday morning and steps into the kitchen, she starts to think it might be more than that. She walks a little taller, feels a bit more at home in her skin. Tim choking on his orange juice when he sees her is just an added bonus.

“Glad you kept it,” he stutters out, once he manages to stop gaping.

She’s glad too.

______

Martin’s sitting on Jon’s bed, watching as he runs a brush through his hair.

Jon’s hair is lovely, long and shiny. His own he keeps rather short, though the curls are getting a bit unruly these days. When he was a child, his mother insisted he keep it long, just like she insisted on a great many other things. But he shed all of that, got as far away from it as possible. And yet, eyeing the silvery tray on Jon’s dresser, he has to admit he’s curious.

It’s full of delicate, pretty accessories- hair clips and necklaces and earrings. Jon’s like a magpie, collecting shiny things; though this collection is mostly gifts from the three of them. It’s a little dance they like to do- Jon sees something in a store, stares a little too long, insists he doesn’t need it, and eventually it ends up in their flat.

Their flat. He’s still getting used to it. He’s never felt at home anywhere, but he’s starting to think he has one now. Listening to Jon hum as he cooks, Tim reading aloud from his recent article deep-dive, Sasha butting in with a comment - these are all good things. The background noise to his days that used to be filled with silence.

And he’s never been around people so at home with themselves. Martin is so used to putting an effort into how he presents himself in the world, he’s never enjoyed being misconstrued. A strange, delicate balance of pride in who he is at war with a desperate need to be understood and accepted. Palatable. Easier to put yourself in a box with clear labels than to deal with the confusion and the questions. Any passing thought or fleeting impulse that goes outside the lines is dismissed.

But nothing about his situation now is easily labeled, to be honest. It’s hard enough explaining his relationship status to others, though Sasha has a little spiel ready to rattle off at a moment’s notice. They’re all so comfortable with each other, with themselves. It makes him both a bit braver and a bit more afraid.

While Jon scurries off to flick through his closet, Martin gets up, walking over to the collection and picking up the small moth broach he’d gotten him on one of their first dates, before Tim started to come along. The memory brings a smile to his face.

“Oh, it’s lovely, Martin.” Jon had immediately pinned it to his jacket, before reaching down to grab a bag at his feet. “And ah, actually- I got something for you too?”

A little Highland cow plushie. So he had been listening to his rant on Scotland the other day. It still sits in place of pride on his desk.

“Do you want to try one?” Martin jumps at the sound of Jon’s voice, dropping the pin unceremoniously back into the pile as if he’d been burnt. He turns around, prepared to voice a thousand excuses, a knee-jerk reaction.

“No, it’s-”

But Jon’s already sorting through the pile with clever fingers, hand lingering over a thin barrette with a tiny, gold flower. Pretty, simple. Martin’s hand itches to reach out but he draws it into a tight fist. Admiring is one thing, but actually wearing it-

“C’mere.” He thinks he should refuse but instead he leans down, lets Jon’s fingers wind their way through his hair and feels a settled weight against his head.

“There.” Jon smiles. “That’ll do quite nicely.”

He looks in the mirror. Oh.

It’s barely even noticeable, just a small clip bringing the longest of his curls behind his ear. But Jon’s right. It looks nice. It goes with his hair and it doesn’t feel feminine or wrong, just a comfortable weight against his head reminding him he belongs, he’s loved. And that Martin’s still himself, even if he steps outside of the box every now and then.

“You don’t have to keep it in if you-”

“No. I like it.” He straightens his spine, tilts his head. Smiles. Jon smiles back.

Yeah. He likes it.

ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/31803076

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a-aexotic · 2 years

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cw !! mentions of alcohol, general euphoria warnings (addiction, toxic relationships, etc). this is pure brainrot, the reader is described in 3 person

so the twins -nate and the reader-. they're CHAOS TWINS, they sometimes get along but they tend to fight a lot. reader likes to wrestle her twin (if you want the reader to be gender neutral lemme know <3))

when the twins found out about their dad's nasty discs, they both became disgusted. tho, reader is always calling her dad out: throwing backhanded comments, insulting him, fighting him, being just a rebel. sadly, because of the stress reader also got a drinking problem. reader drinks like for months but does like a small 2 month/1 month streak of being sober. sometimes reader fights with her dad and her dad has to wrestle her because reader tends to get too spontaneous when sober (or drunk) while talking to her dad. her dad kinda feels guilty, bc he cares (a little bit) for her daughter

apart from that, reader is pretty chill. the twins tend to spend a lot of time together, one time reader tackled nate while playing football bc reader got too excited. nate wasn't happy. they tend to wrestle a lot. but they care for each other in their kinda fucked up way.

at 18, reader got a fake permission for getting tattoos and now has like a sleeve tattoos and also some small ones. she covers her tattoos with makeup so her dad can't see them. (also bc reader stole some money from her dad to get the tattoos). READER HAS PIERCINGS, reader has like a toungue piercing and ears piercing. the piercing were done without permission also.

also with the chaos twins duo, nate and reader have also a kinda different reputation at school. readers seems chill, sometimes getting to school drunk but is -mostly- good to cover her drunkenness. but yeah, reader is mostly calm. is friends with Maddy, rue, cassie, lexi and Jules. with bb and Kat they're like acquaintances . reader also knows fez and ash (+rue), they're like her best friends + reader tends to go and buy her drinks there and also to spend a good time.

tho because of this nate and reader tend to fight, but reader manages to shut her brother.

the twins like to wrestle and bother each other, nate will sometimes trip her sister while walking in the hallway and reader sometimes tackles her brother when they're in the same class.

FOR EXAMPLE. at McKay's party when nate was being a dick before the party. reader got to the room and smacked her brother in the face. reader defended cassie , also took a pack of some beers and left.

also at the carnival, reader spent much of her time at the tent with her parents and Aaron, reader likes Aaron, but when reader heard her dad speak, she was about to open her mouth when nate covered her mouth to prevent her from talking.

nate sometimes witness his dad wrestle reader bc reader was getting too anxious and angry. almost slapped her dad; and nate gets so angry, he just screams at his dad to let her twin go while reader is trying to get out of his grip. both twins are angry. let's face it, both twins probably have anger issues, but one manages them better than the other.

cal sometimes has screaming competition with both twins. sometimes having to wrestle one of the twins so they can release pent up anger and not hurt him, marsha, aaron or each other.

cal and marsha are kinda done with the twins, yes they care for them but sometimes are too much to handle.

just, chaos twins.

-🐈‍⬛

omg THIS!!!! yes yes yes yes

especially with the anger issues part, i feel like nate would be the one to manage it more tbh — i feel like reader is just chaotic (in a good way though lmao)

reader probably has a tongue piercing 😩😩 and i feel like nate would judge her for it but would get used to it yk. also why do i feel like nate & reader would get matching tats??? but like rly small ones like on their finger or something and it has to be rly meaningful

i also feel like reader & fez would have a little hookup at some point n it would be probably last a few months before the whole thing w nate happens at the new year’s eve party — reader would probably be mad

if u want a sapphic action i def feel like rue & reader would b together and be little addicts together <3 they try n help each other get better but it just doesn’t work

i love u 🐈‍⬛ anon <33

#🐈‍⬛ anon <3 #euphoria fanfics #euphoria headcannons #euphoria #nate jacobs x you #nate jacobs x reader #nate jacobs headcanons #nate euphoria #nate jacobs #euphoria season 2 #euphoria hbo

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