#but never will because rhysand won't let it happen

[readychilledwine]

Small World Pt 2

Summary - After discovering you and Azriel share much more than a mating bond, your relationship grows stronger as tensions between you and your aunt seem to grow higher.

Warnings - implied emotional and mental abuse, second child syndrome in a not good way, we find out Nyx is an asshole, unrequited love, slight smut, use of daddy

A/n - a potentially cliff hanger ending because I haven't decided 100% how this ends

Peep Part 1 Here 💙

Azriel stared at the dress box sitting on Rhysand's desk and nicely folded Illyrian leathers. He couldn't remember the last time he had worn them. The last time he had used a siphon. The leathers were fitted for 7, something Azriel immediately knew would no longer work.

His powers after removing the precious stones had gone wild. His shadows were different now. They were more aware, able to span wider distances, and able to recruit more shadows into his network to join them.

He had spent 5 years alone meditating and learning even more control over them, over what they could do, over how deadly they actually could be.

7 siphons would not be enough.

And he didn't understand how Rhysand did not see that.

He finally spoke, gesturing to the box. "What is this?"

Rhys was settled in his chair, trying to maintain his composure as Cassian stood near the bookshelf to mediate if needed. "We're going to the Court of Nightmares. My daughter's engagement has spread like wildfire, and dear Keir wants to host a party in her honor."

A breathy chuckle left Azriel's lips before he could stop it. "So my fiancée will be dressed like a goddess while I am in leathers at a party to mock us?"

Cassian shifted slightly. "We've always worn leathers to Hewn City, Az. It's to honor our heritage." Rhys just inclined his head to Cassian and nodded. "Y/n wears leathers."

"She has never worn a single set in the 2 years we've been together. There isn't even a set in her closet."

"There's several sets in her closet here," Rhys said quietly. "All set up for pink siphons. 14 of them." Cassian and Azriel couldn't help their chuckles. "Imagine a blonde Illyrian with pink siphons, Azriel, its quite the sight." Rhys smiled fondly, eyes glimmering with pride despite everything. "She's-" he looked up, searching for the perfect word for his daughter. "She's my everything. And I've done a horrible job showing her that."

Azriel sucked in a deep breath. "I won't mediate this, Rhys. This is a you two thing. Not an us three thing."

Azriel knew now why you were estranged from your family. Nyx was their golden child. Constantly praised, admired, in the spotlight. He was, and still is, their reminder of how they had almost died to pass along their love. He could do no wrong, never be wrong, and was treated as such.

You, on the other hand, were the second child. The significantly younger one Nyx learned to plant blame on and watch as you were scolded and seen as "the problem" as you had told him you were now addressed as in Hewn City and Illyria. You had been raised by Ness more than Feyre and Rhys, passed off to them until your powers bloomed at 16, and suddenly your father found you interesting again. With a lack of a spymaster, he exploited you, forcing you to touch people and feel their emotions, when they lied, their stories. Forcing you to live trauma over and over of females clipped in the mountains, of tortured traitors in dungeons, of Nesta's dark phase.

You locked your powers so far away one day, so deep inside you that even you hardly could access them unless you actually wanted to. It had been just before your 18th birthday that happened. And then the fight that sealed the casket happened. Rhys had verbally lashed you. Attacked you for refusing to let him use your "one worth" to keeping his family and court safe.

Your father had said he saw you as useless, and everyone else just stood by watching.

Like they had with Nesta.

Only you were just a child. Not a head strong warrior, a goddess in fae form.

You packed the basics and spent the night on the streets in a dark alley.

Even if you and Rhys magically fixed things, even if you forgave but not forgot, Azriel would never. How you were raised, how you've been treated, it forever will taint his vision of Rhys, Feyre, and Nyx. The abuse they unleashed on you, they'd never make up for.

Rhys nodded, eyes glancing to the doorway as footsteps approached. "I would never ask you to fix my relationship with her when I need to fix my relationship with you as well. I just need you to know I love her. That she will always be my girl."

"You have an odd way of showing her your lo-"

The door opened, and you stepped in, immediately going to Azriel's side and eyeing the box. "Dad. Cassian." You opened the lid and nodded. "Well. At least it's sparkly."

Rhys cocked his head. "You don't like it?"

Azriel watched as you paused. The bond flared with conflicting emotions. Anger, hurt, longing. How long had it been since Rhys held you? Since he told you he loved you without you having to earn it. "No, I like it. I just know what this means. You never give me nice things unless Hewn City is involved." The last sentence trailed off quietly, and pain flooded the bond.

Rhys looked down, nodding as he scratched the stubble growing on his face. "I am sorry. I just-"

"Please don't. You never mean it." You grabbed the box. "I will wear it and find jewelry." You turned to Azriel. "Elain would like to speak with you. She said something about a garden you two planned together and how I'll never understand the love you two share. How it breaks bonds and shakes worlds."

The relationship between you and Azriel had been messy since dinner two weeks ago. You two had your first fight over, of course, Elain and her rekindled love, lust, whichever felt appropriate at the moment for Azriel. He ignored the constant letters, the random headache powders, the message coded flowers.

He had reached out to Lucien, asking the male what had happened. According to the new Lord of Day, Elain and he had tried for 5 years, but the damage had been done. Lucien didn't trust Elain, Elain spent most of their time comparing the two of them, and nothing Lucien gave her was enough. He had been the one to reject the bond, and after 7 years, he had found himself heavily involved in a relationship with a now fully fae Vassa and Jurian.

Rhys and Cassian both gave him gentle looks of concern as he held your hand, preventing you from walking away. He stared Rhys in the eyes, doing something he felt Rhysand had never done to prove a point. "I'd rather go home with you, so if you were planning on winnowing, we might as well go together." He picked you.

They watched as all tension left your body, as security eased into your face. "Then let's go home." Azriel grabbed the leathers, nodding to Rhys and Cassian before following you.

Azriel's elbow locked around your neck, hand squeezing your hip as he pinned you below him and continued taking you from behind. You both had no interest in heading to Hewn City, so you had distracted him, walking into your shared bedroom in just a pretty blue silk night gown offering to give your body to him for what he had done, the message he had sent.

You were supposed to be getting ready, but instead, Azriel was growling above you, pumping into you carelessly. Your toes curled at how deep he was hitting, at how good he felt, how good he felt every time. "So close," you whispered. "So fucking close-" You were moaning his name when the knock on the door came.

A shadow rushed to him, curling his ear as he paused. "It's Elain," he muttered. "She's relentless." You whined below him, hips wiggling to get friction back. "Baby,"

"Please," you begged. "It's been weeks, I've been so good, please, daddy."

Azriel felt his cock twitch at the use of the name. He'd longed for a moment to erase the memory of what happened, and you had just given it to him. He felt you moving your hips, doing the best you could while pinned to the mattress to fuck yourself on his cock.

You were his focus, the rest of the world melting away as he heard your moans turning into screams of his name. You sounded so pretty coming for him, crying for him, begging for more for less for everything as oversensitivity took over. You especially looked pretty dripping his seed when he pulled out of you. Once again, he had chosen you.

You two laid there, holding each other until claws came for both of you. Scratching angerly as your mental shields and causing you to bury your head into Azriel's chest. "We need to get ready unless you want him showing up here next," Azriel played with your hair, scratching your scalp lightly. "Let's see how many siphons I blow through."

After 2 sets of siphons being destroyed, you were currently dragging Azriel down the streets of Velaris and to your brother and father's tailor. You knew she'd be able to fit and dress him in seconds and that he'd look every bit handsome as he deserved. You were pissed when you saw he had been gifted Illyrian leathers and not a suit. Your father was out of touch with Azriel. With you.

"Helena," you smiled at the older female. "We need help."

Azriel felt stiff. Staring at the doors of Heen City as a shocked page boy ran to inform Rhys and Feyre of the late arrival. You two were about to upstage them in their own court. The guests of honor arriving late and being introduced after the Lord and his Lady.

You would have upstaged them by yourself anyway, though. Azriel admired you one more time. Rhys had picked well, though you both would never admit it. The dress had a see-through bodice of black lace and floral applicates with thin straps. It led to a satin skirt that was tight and then flared out to your hips. The left leg had a high slit, showing the toned beautiful skin Azriel was begging to cover in his kisses. You had picked a simple necklace, a single tear drop shaped sapphire with matching earring and a matching bracelet. Your ring sat on manicured nails painted a soft shade of pink to white coffin head tips. Heels graced your feet, the red underside flashing when you walked. "Gods, you are stunning," he finally whispered out in a hoarse voice.

"And all yours," you looked at him, adjusting the lapel of his jacket. "Forever." Your mask slipped on as the doors opened, a collective gasp ringing through the room over who was on your arm followed by whispers.

Azriel knew this song and dance, walking you into one thousand eyes staring and gawking. He hated seeing you like this as you were ushered to the dance floor. The first dance of the night had been delayed, and the fae were restless.

Once you were centered on the floor, you turned facing him, eyes cold and distant as you disassociated from this place. He placed a hand on your hip, leaving his other to his side where both of your sat.

It was unfair of Feyre and Rhysand to expect you to do this traditional waltz, but you followed Azriel's steps as the music began, that first note echoing in your bones and soul. Your parents had claimed your first dance with your mate. The first true dance you two would ever share, and it had to be done in front of hundreds of fae who spat your direction when the Lord and Lady were busy.

Azriel had decided he hated this side of you. He was studying you like a project. You were a different female down here. Cold, uncaring, forced into this role of the High Lord's daughter.

Did these fae know you took far too much creamer in your coffee?

That you were afraid of storms?

That you only ate fruit pastries because you found chocolate too bitter?

You were Rhysand through and through with that mask on. But inside, inside Azriel knew you carried the very light of what your grandfather built. You were a true dreamer, and you could rattle the very stars themselves if your father would just give you the chance.

If Rhysand would just believe in you.

Azriel decided in that moment what the answer to your happiness was. He'd take you tonight and you two would leave.

Fuck expectations.

Fuck the rules.

Fuck your family.

Azriel would pick you for the third time today, and you two would leave.

He just had to get you through this visit at Hewn City first, and as he watched Elain shatter a champagne flute in her hands, he knew that was going to be a mission all on its own.

General Taglist:

@hnyclover @glitterypirateduck @slytherinindisguise @mischiefmanager @bloodicka @starsinyourseyes @the-sweet-psycho @mariahoedt @rinalouu @sarawritestories @starryhiraeth @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @cumuluscranium @loneliestluvr @eternallyelvish

Azriel-

@elle4404

Small World Taglist-

@amara-moonlight @iimichie @acourtofbatboydreams @justasillylittlegoofyguy @janesalvarerelochanarcheron @hungryforbatboys @sidthedollface2 @hunt1bryce

#acotar #acotar x reader #azriel acotar #azriel #azriel x reader #azriel x you #azriel x y/n #azriel x feysands daughter!reader #az x reader #azriel shadowsinger #azriel spymaster

[thelov3lybookworm]

Hey! I'm the one with the ' delulu' request. I mean like yn and AZ were mates and they found out before the amarantha thing happened. And while when Rhysand was attending the ball(?) That trapped the high lords, Yn was with him too as his second-women(kinda you know) and then they can't get out and lose connection to thier family and in those 50 years the red head bitch kills yn just to torment Rhys and he literally can't do anything about it. When everyone is free and with thier family, happy and all, az is happy too that Rhys came home but he just wont(can't) accept the fact that yn is dead and is never coming back. He's delusional (delulu).

Don't grieve.

Summary: Azriel's going mad, and he won't except it.

•○●⛦●○•

Tw: mental illness. this bitch's gonna hurt

A/n: hey anon! I beg for your forgiveness because it took me so long to write this. Please don't hate me, and please tell me you forgive me or else I'll go and cry in a corner, making no noise, pretending I don't exist 😭

(Also, i hope I didn't misunderstand what you wanted azzie to be delulu about)

•○🌑○•

Azriel paced back and forth, having just been informed by his shadows that his High Lord had returned.

It had been fifty years since Azriel had seen Rhysand.

And it had been fifty years since he had seen her.

And now they were back.

The Shadows hadn't mentioned anything about his mate though, but he let it slide, planning on interrogating them later. For now, he needed to see his brother and his mate.

•○🌑○•

Azriel barged in through the door to the sitting room, finding Mor, Cassian and Amren already there. All of them, except Amren, had tears in their eyes.

Azriel took in the whole place, noting that his mate wasn't in the room. Maybe she was freshening up?

His heart rate picked up, the urge to go find her overpowering any rational thought he had.

But then his eyes landed on his brother, and he grinned. In what felt like an eternity, Azriel grinned.

Rhysand looked like he'd been through hell and back, which he technically had. He had lost so much of his weight and muscles, his skin color also having become pale. In short, he looked sick.

Rhys gave Azriel a pained smile back, but Azriel didn't think much of it. Azriel briskly walked up to his brother and pulled him in for a hug, laughing.

When Azriel pulled back, his eyes again went around the room in search of his mate.

But again, she was not here.

"Where's Y/n? Is she freshening up?"

Everyone looked away from him, and Azriel's smile faltered. But then he grinned and muttered. "Are you trying to keep my mate away from me? You do know that that won't work though, don't you? I'll have my shadows bring me to her."

No one spoke, until the silence became unbearable and Cassian broke it. "Az..."

Azriel glanced at Cassian, his brows farrowing. "What's going on you people? Are you about to ask me for ransom to see my mate?"

Azriel was beeing more cheerful than he usually was, but maybe that's what a mating bond did to people. What meeting your mate after five decades did to people. Azriel blinked when nobody laughed. Mor gasped for breath as more tears ran down her face, sniffling.

"Azriel... Y/n, she... is gone." Rhys responded.

"Gone where?"

"To where the–"

"She's dead, boy." Amren put a stop to Rhys's pathetic explanation.

And she did nothing to gentle the blow.

Y/n wasn't dead. Azriel refused to believe that. And that only meant this was some elaborate joke they were playing on him.

He laughed. "What?"

Mor turned to him, pity and sympathy shining from her eyes. "She's gone Azriel. She will never come back. Amarantha... she..."

Rhysand toom a deep breath, nodding to himself before speaking, as if he was trying to convince himself. "Amarantha wanted to control me, and the only way she could do that was by torturing Y/n. The bitch one day decided she was bored and let her cronies as well as many other fae bastards, mostly from Autumn Court, tear into Y/n. She watched, wanting to see how long Y/n would be able to hold up. I don't think Amarantha thought they would kill her, as that would mean there was no one she could use to control me. But Y/n died by the hands of her cronies."

Azriel smiled lazily. "You really think I believe the bullshit you are spewing right now? Come now, Rhys, you should know better than that. Fifty years under that mountain has made you lose your head. Go take a nice long bath, fly around Velaris for some time. A little fresh air after fifty years of routing under there would do you good. Maybe– hopefully– clear the garbage up there."

Azriel turned away, walking towards the door when a shadow slithered up to his ear and whispered that Y/n was nowhere in Velaris.

"Hmm. Maybe she decided to take a vacation with a friend of hers?"

That was stupid, considering there was no way in hell that Y/n would rather be with a friend than come to meet Az. But that was the only reason he could think of, because he would not, not in a million years, accept that Y/n was dead.

He walked towards the door, his posture relaxed as he opened the door. He glanced back once, giving the bewildered looking inner circle a smile, and called, "See you later. Have some work to do."

•○🌑○•

Shadows pov.

Azriel was practically waltzing as he went around the kitchen, getting all the ingredients he needed as he mixed the batter for the cake, humming a tune she loved.

"She loved chocolate so much. Do you think she'll be surprised?"

He asked his shadows, who simply floated around him, not daring to correct his thoughts. The one time they had, Azriel had launched into a screaming fit, so loud that nearly the whole of Velaris would have heard him.

So they watched as their master continued mixing the batter, then pouring it into a mould. He was all alone in the house, having moved in with Y/n into their new home soon after accepting the bond.

"She will turn four hundred and fifty this year. Can you imagine? It will be so exciting! I just wish she returned home soon."

It had been one year since the High Lord of Night Court had returned, and their master still refused to believe that his mate was no longer alive.

A knock sounded on the door, and Azriel looked up. He walked towards the door, opening it to find Cassian standing on the front porch, smiling.

"Come on in." Azriel spoke, turning away and walking back into the kitchen.

The Shadows watched as the general took in the mess around the kitchen. He swallowed before speaking.

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm baking a cake for Y/n. She loved it when I did. It's her birthday today."

Pity entered the General's eyes at the enthusiasm in the shadows' Master's voice.

"Az..." Cassian began gently, but he stopped when Azriel's head whipped up, fury shining in his hazel eyes. The general swallowed again. "That's amazing."

Azriel smiled. "You can have some too if you want. But you would have to save some for her. She will be pissed if you ate all of it."

"Are you for real? I can have some too? Thank you so much Az."

Azriel nodded, smiling happily.

"Did you come here for a reason? Was there something you needed to tell me about?"

The General cleared his throat. "Uh yes. I was sent by Rhys. He wanted to know if you wanted to go on a mission today."

"Why?"

"Oh its just... there has been unrest in one of the Illyrian camps, and Rhys wanted to send someone to check on it. He was hoping you would want to go, but if not, he'll have to send someone else."

The Shadows knew that wasn't the only reason. It was because today was Y/n's birthday, and the high lord wanted to make sure the spymaster had something to occupy his time with instead of wallowing in her memories.

"He'll have to send someone else. It's her birthday today. I can't go on missions today."

The General clenched his jaw, nodding. "See you later then, brother."

The Shadows watched their master nod, cleaning around the kitchen. The general turned away, heading for the door.

"Take care brother." Azriel called, and the general waved before he left.

•○🌑○•

She was smiling at him from the opposite end of the tent.

She looked beautiful in the simple flowy white gown, and he felt like he was falling in love all over again.

Everything was settled, Koschei and the human queens removed from the picture, and most of them were unscathed.

Most of them.

Azriel wasn't.

He had been caught by the human queens guards, held captive and tortured for information while war raged outside.

After the war had been won, his brothers had found him dying in the torture chamber, waiting for his death. They had brought him to the tent in which Madja was operating, the inner circle rushing in behind them.

As he lay bleeding and battered on a table in the healers tent, his family gathered around him, he thought it a fitting end for him. He tortured people his whole life, and he was going to meet his end in a similar way.

"Hold on Az, just a few more moments. Everything will be fine." Rhys mumbled.

Azriel shook his head, his eyes never leaving his mate's. "Let me die. Maybe then I will meet my love again."

"She–"

"Died. I know. I was probably hoping there'd be a miracle. Or maybe I was just delusional."

"Az, please, just hold on."

His mate smiled at him, and Azriel's chest felt lighter than ever. He watched her intently as she stood from the chair she was in, making her way over to him. He gave her a small smile.

"She is here now."

Everyone stiffened. "What are you talking about Az?" Cassian questioned.

Azriel vaguely motioned towards her, as he couldn't move much without his body seizing up. "She is here. Let me go, brothers. I'll finally able to be with her again."

"What do you mean she is here?" Cassian had gone pale, frantically looking around. "No one is here."

Y/n came to stand next to the table. She observed Cassian and the rest of the inner circle before turning back to Azriel. "They can't see me." She smiled gently, glowing slightly. And Azriel watched her the way he'd watched her the first time he'd seen her. His mouth gaping open at her beauty, his eyes slightly wide. "How are you my love?"

"Miserable." He whispered.

She nodded. "I can understand. It hurt when I was dying too." She then took a deep breath, as if steadying herself. "We do not have much time. You only have two options. You can either choose to let the healers help and live, or let it all go."

"If- if I let it all go... will I be with you?"

His beloved nodded. "But I wish you would let the healers help you. I want you to love a long and happy life."

Her voice was sad and strained, as if she didn't want to say them but had to.

"But I want to be with you. I can't live a happy life without you."

"Then let go Azriel. Let it all go. Say goodbye." Her eyes glittered. "I will be here when you rise."

He didn't know what she meant by rise, but he was too tired to care. His body was numb at this point, his eyes drooping, begging for some rest.

Azriel glanced at his family, who stared at him in confusion. He'd simply been whispering, and they apparently couldn't see her. Of course they would be confused.

Azriel have them a satisfied smile. "Tell them to leave me alone. The healers."

"Why?" Rhys's voice broke on the word.

"Because she's here, and we can be together again. So let me go brother."

"Azriel... please brother. Don't give up so quickly."

Azriel shook his head, his eyes starting to close.

"Don't miss me to much. Don't grieve. Be happy."

The healers had stopped working on him the moment he began speaking, and by now he had lost too much blood.

Thank the mother.

Just then, Azriel felt as if he was stepping out of a tight suit. Like he had become weightless, lighter than air.

He blinked his eyes open, which he could do without any resistance. He looked around, seeing everything clearly. Hear every sound clearly.

Then he sat up, but no one paid him any mind. He blinked in confusion, as his eyes searched the room. His eyes landed on the figure nearby, smiling softly at him.

Y/n.

She lifted her hand towards him, beckoning him closer, and he drifted to her. As soon as his hand met hers, he felt like he was home, finally.

Y/n's eyes went behing him, sadness painting her features. He followed her gaze to a heartbreaking sight.

There, around the table where his body was, where he had been, the inner circle wept.

Cassian was bent over the table, his head was on Azriel's chest as he screamed and sobbed at the top of his lungs, tears rolling down onto Azriel's armor. His fingers were curled into the metal of Az's armor, so tightly that blood had begun welling in some of the places.

Rhys was leaning on the table, staring at Azriel's face, tears running down his face and dripping onto the table. He did nothing, just stared, devastation on his face. He gave no reaction when Feyre placed a hand on his arm.

Feyre herself was crying, a hand over her mouth to contain her sobs. Mor buried her head in Feyre's neck, clutching her tightly as the blonde cried.

Then there was Nesta, who stared at Azriel too, her hand on her mate's back to comfort him as he continued screaming, the agonising roars echoing through the silent night.

Amren, who had been standing near the Azriel's foot, quietly walked up to his head. She dragged a hand through his blood caked hair, sucking in a sharp breath. She looked distraught, and that was big thing for Amren. She then leaned down, placing a gentle kiss on Azriel's head beside turning on her heel and waking out the tent.

Azriel turned to his mate, who gave him a shaky smile. He returned it, and after a final glance at his family, he let her lead him away.

It was only a matter of time before they had to go back to their normal lifestyle.

Azriel only hoped they didn't grieve him for long.

•○🌑○•

General Taglist: @bubybubsters @eos-princess @nightless @lizziesfirstwife

#acotar #azriel x reader #azriel acotar #azriel spymaster #azriel shadowsinger #shadowsinger x reader #Acotar fanfic #rhysand #mating bond #a court of thorns and roses #azriel fluff #acotar fandom #acotar series #Shadowsinger #spymaster #fluff #azriel fic #azriel fanfic #sarah j maas #acotar headcanon #acotar smut #Acotar writing #acotar fluff #acotar x reader #reader insert

[aphroditelovesu]

Yandere Tamlin and Rhysand hcs sharing a darling? 👀

❝ 🌹 — lady l: It's three in the morning where I live and here I am... Writing! Do I care? No. Anyway, I hope you like it and forgive me for any mistakes! 💞

❝tw: obsessive and possessive behavior, mention of injuries, unhealthy relationships, polyamorous (sorta of).

❝ ⭐pairing: yandere!tamlin x gn!reader x yandere!rhysand.

They won't share. That simple. There is no way Tamlin and Rhysand would agree to share a darling, let alone a mate. Tamlin is extremely jealous and Rhysand is possessive as hell. Add the fact that their darling is their mate makes it even worse.

Once one realized the other's interest all hell would break loose. It would all really depend on who discovered it first, but at the end of the day, nothing else would matter. Not even you.

Tamlin is the least emotionally unbalanced and this makes him very volatile and dangerous when his temper gets out of control. He is explosive and although he will never knowingly hurt his darling, you still have to walk on eggshells around him. Especially when Tamlin is jealous or furious.

Rhysand is the most rational one in the situation, or at least he tries to be the most rational one, even though he is seething with hatred inside. Rhys might be willing to share his darling with others, but never with Tamlin, his second worst enemy.

A huge fight would begin and if the situation between the two Courts was already bad before, it would become even worse and more volatile. Tamlin wants you at any cost and so does Rhysand, and neither is willing to share.

You would just be a toy caught in a tug of war. They detested each other deeply and their resentment grew more because of you and you would be nothing less than a pawn in a game that has lasted centuries.

They would still try to care about your needs and what you want, but they will both be so blinded by their hatred and possessiveness that you won't be as important. Not when they desperately wanted to destroy themselves.

The only situation I can see them coming to some kind of agreement would be if something happened to you, like if you were a human and almost died or suffered a terrible injury. It would be the only case where Tam and Rhys would work together for you.

Tamlin wants you desperately, he's already so alone and he needs comfort, love and reassurance. He wants to be loved so desperately and his obsession with you has become so unbearable that he can't sleep properly if he doesn't know that you're okay and with him.

Rhysand wants to be loved and have a loving family above all else, he wants this with all his might. He needs you, he needs to smell you and hear you tell him that he loves him. He needs to know that you love him, that he is the only one for you, and that no matter what, you will always choose him.

They will always fight over you, they will never reach a consensus and you are likely to end up broken and none of them will take the blame, as they will be too focused on destroying themselves than on what you need. Rhysand has tried to pay more attention to you, but at the end of the day, it's really about his personal war with Tamlin.

However, at any sign of threat to your life, they will put aside this feud and focus only on you. Even if it doesn't seem like it, they care about you and love you, in a twisted and strange way, but they do and they want to take care of you. Tamlin, especially, due to the fact that he is overprotective.

Rhysand and Tamlin will never come to an agreement, but maybe, as time goes on, they can learn to share you. There will always be bad blood and fights, but perhaps they will realize that the best way to protect you is to come together. Two High Lords can do very well protecting their mate, even if they hate each other deeply.

#acotar #a court of thorns and roses #yandere a court of thorns and roses #yandere acotar #yandere tamlin #yandere rhysand #yandere tamlin x reader #yandere rhysand x reader #yandere tamlin x reader x rhysand #dark!tamlin #dark!tamlin x reader #dark!rhysand #dark!Rhysand x reader #tamlin x reader #rhysand x reader #tamlin x reader x rhysand #yandere headcanons #Headcanons #poly #yandere poly

[yazthebookish]

I avoid talking about the other ship specifically but I feel like letting my thoughts out on some arguments I see sometimes. Not that I have any interest in engaging in any discourse with the other side but it's my page so I can post whatever I feel like posting.

"Gwyn's purpose in the bonus chapter is to hint at her Lightsinger powers"

Okay, so you think one of the most important points about the bonus chapter is to prove Gwyn has luring powers so my question is what are the implications of that? Her drawing Azriel away from Elain? Azriel and Elain exposing her true powers in front of everyone to reveal she is the reason she's been keeping them apart? She is being manipulated by Merrill and Koschei? She has powers she's using unknowingly and can't control them so she'll need Az and Elain to help her?

You're setting up Gwyn to be prominent in an Azriel/Elain book because of her powers, so will they spend time dealing with other plotlines or mainly focus on Gwyn? Because that kind of thing definitely needs resolution since it directly impacts Nesta and the Valkyries dynamic.

So do Azriel and Elain's fantastic romance needs another female character to be used as a scapegoat to pin all their issues on her because the bonus chapter wasn't a good look on them? Or simply because his scene with Gwyn and with Clotho ended on a hopeful note than his scenes with Elain and Rhysand?

Gwyn is an irrelevant character and serves Nesta's story only.

But your argument is she has luring powers and is using them on Azriel, so will that go unaddressed? Then why would SJM throw hints about her powers if it won't mean anything?

Gwyn was used just as a marketing ploy in the bonus chapter.

She's considered a new character and no one knew she was in Azriel's bonus chapter and the bonus chapter was strictly advertised to be focused on Azriel, please be serious.

The bonus chapter is irrelevant.

The author confirmed she planted things in it specifically and in ACOSF in relation to Azriel so I would disagree. The great "forbidden romance" trope wouldn't exist without it and Azriel and Elain spoke to each other more in the bonus chapter than they ever did in the main book, I can pin-point the scene where they speak to each other only ONCE in a 800+ page book and it was about Nesta dancing with the Duke.

Gwyn has powers.

She's Fae of course she has powers but why is the immediate assumption that her powers are nefarious? She didn't harm any character and there was zero hints of her having any bad intentions towards anyone. She deals with survivor's guilt and her trauma, but she had many opportunities to let that evil secret side show but it never did. Why? Because she's obviously not set up to be an evil character or even one with questionable intentions. This is the same character who was ready to sacrifice herself to save her friends and stood by Nesta to face hateful males who wanted to k*ll them.

She's a Lightsinger.

Pretty easy to debunk because there is no correlation based on what we know and we never even see any Lightsingers. Even if she happens to be one, I believe it'll play out way differently than what some people try to push. And come on, Lightsinger and Shadowsinger? You think SJM wouldn't go for that dynamic? But for now I disagree with it since canon tells us they're monsters who k*ll for sport and Gwyn does none of that. Even if she had other different powers that are not wholly good, it's not a point of concern because many characters have questionable powers that did not erase the fact that they were good characters. It's like people never read fantasy books with characters who had dark powers but it didn't corrupt them, for some reason there's an insistence that Gwyn already caused harm despite the serious implications of having a character who is SA victim portrayed as someone luring other people against their will.

Azriel ended up at the library because Gwyn was singing during the service.

1. Clotho is seen at the service, so her being at her desk when Azriel shows up at the library is a good hint that the services didn't start yet.

2. For a singing power to work, the victim should be able to hear the singing and Azriel made no note of any singing at the library.

3. The image he sees of Gwyn's joy didn't pop up randomly, it was triggered by Clotho after she thanks him for the joy the gift will bring her and tells him that Gwyn deserves something as beautiful as this.

The shadows stay around him because they sense a threat but she's luring them.

How is she luring them when she's not even singing if it's been established that her singing has powers? Also, that statement contradicts what's in the text because the shadows were curious at start of the scene and by the end they were described to have calmed and were content to watch Gwyn. In ACOSF, they were seen dancing around Az when Gwyn addresses him.

Nesta reacted to Gwyn's singing the same way Azriel did.

Context matters and a lot of arguments that support this statement are always taken out of context. Nesta loves music so if she is going to admire Gwyn's beautiful voice, it'll be simply for that and nothing more.

There is no way to 100% pin point what caused Nesta to have visions of the Prison during the services but it doesn't only have to be Gwyn's singing but also the lyrics which were found under Level Seven and are written in an ancient language. When Nesta gets the vision she says she can visualize what the song spoke of, meaning the song itself could be talking about story of the Prison/Land of Dusk.

"But Azriel's shadows reacted to her singing"

— "How was the party?" Her breath curled in front of her mouth, and one of his shadows darted out to dance with it before twirling back to him. Like it heard some silent music.

Silent music, not singing. Not song. Just like how Hunt mentioned hearing some beautiful music between his and Bryce's souls. Just like how Nesta and Cassian when they consummated their bond heard the music between their souls. Strong sign of Mateism friends.

"But Azriel still heard a beautiful singing, not just music."

— Azriel entered the warmth of the stairwell, and as he descended, he could have sworn a faint, beautiful singing followed him. Could have sworn his shadows sang in answer.

Could she be singing? Maybe though unlikely since she returned to training to cut the ribbon right after he left. If she did, maybe the shadows like her voice? Maybe that's a sign they're fond of her? And if it's not maybe that's another sign that the singing they're hearing is the mating bond, which was once described as the Song of the Soul.

The Shadows having a reaction to singing isn't necessarily a bad sign, we saw them dance to Azriel's humming in HOFAS.

Gwyn returned to the library, her story is over.

I have to assume you haven't read ACOSF or skimmed it if that's the conclusion you came to, because there were clear signs that not only Gwyn but Emerie have ongoing journeys and they will leave where they are right now to see the world outside. Gwyn literally states at around the 70%-80% mark that she's sick of staying in the library for two years and wants to leave. She returned to the library because that's her current residence and where she works, it's not like she'll immediately move out right after facing the Blood Rite. This is one argument I can't take seriously because it clearly contradicts what canon points out and I think it's mostly out of convenience to invalidate any discussions about her healing journey and incomplete arc.

Casual readers don't even ship Azriel and Gwyn and have no knowledge about the bonus chapter

A lot of casual readers do in fact see a potential in Azriel and Gwyn as a romantic pairing because they have canon interactions in ACOSF. Plenty of readers shipped them even before they read the bonus chapter. Casual readers are dismissed when they address that and are claimed to be hardcore shippers that hate Elain when it's not the case since they just point out what they think is the obvious in the book to them. Every casual reader will have a different opinion but for some reason if theirs is not in favor of Elain and Azriel, they'll be dismissed so that says much.

Just a hot take that I wanted to put out there since I'll be avoiding fandom discourse moving on (unless I feel like it Lol).

#gwynriel

[litnerdwrites]

"Rhysand had every right to be mad at Nesta for giving Bryce the mask. Cassian was right not to defend her."

Okay, so our issue isn't that Rhysand is mad at Nesta for giving up the mask. Logically speaking, giving up the mask was reckless and dangerous. She and the IC don't know Bryce like we, as readers, do. They don't know her story, motivations, or goals as we do. All they know, is that she has a power that their enemies are looking for, and if they let her go, their world as they know it may very well be destroyed. Especially after they saw the weapons that the Asteri/Daglan have. From a logical perspective, it makes sense that they don't trust her, so giving her the mask was too great a risk.

That's not the issue. It's never been the issue.

First, I think it's a little hypercritical for Rhysand to be so mad, since he, unapologetically, did the same thing to Tarquin. At least Bryce gave them assurances that she'd return the mask, assuming they'd succeed, through hostages. It would also be a way to make sure she wouldn't give in under torture, since that would mean opening the gate to where her family is and dooming them as well as Prythian. Meanwhile, Rhysand didn't even give the book back, or offer to make it up to Tarquin somehow.

That aside, however, Rhysand being mad makes sense. Rhys can be mad she's risked his people, his city and their world. Cassian can be mad that his home and family is in danger because of Nesta's reckless actions. That's fair.

What's not fair, is Rhysand threatened to kill her. What's not fair, is that Cassian let him.

No matter how angry he is, threatening his family/in law's (I'm not convinced he sees her as family at all tbh) with bodily harm. Especially when he's very capable, and (at this point) not proven that he's in any way unwilling to actually carry it out. He has no right to take it out on her in that way. That is verbal abuse. That is threat of bodily harm. He has no right to argue that females are safe in his city, because clearly, Nesta isn't safe in her own home above the city.

Cassian can be upset with Nesta for her decision. As a general, who's job it is to protect the NC, it makes sense he'd disagree with her choice and can be mad over it. However, standing back and letting someone threaten Nesta's life, in her own home, that's supposed to be her safe space, knowing damn well that said person could kill her if he felt like it.

It seems like common sense that once you get married or mated or whatever, your spouse becomes your family. While it's important to prioritise your other family, the safety, and comfort of your spouse should come first and foremost. Every relationship, and family, has their issues, granted, but resorting to abuse, and threats of violence to fix them, is wrong. Allowing others to resort to abuse is wrong.

It's not even the first time this has happened either. The last time he threatened to kill her, she was mentally broken and suicidal, and Cassian didn't stand up for her then either. Maybe Nesta shouldn't have said it the way that she did, but someone should've said it. The worst Rhys can be upset about, in that case, is her 'trying to upset Feyre' (but I've already made it clear a post or two ago how I don't think that was the case), and maybe about how she essentially broke into Amren's apartment, but both pale in comparison to what Rhys did, and should be put aside for a while.

Cassian needs to get his act together. Let Rhysand be mad at Nesta. Let him dock whatever salary I hope she's getting after the events of ACOSF. He's, unfortunately, technically, her employer, so he's free to cut her pay for a bit, suspend her from work for a while, or fire her from court matters, or even give her a few days worth boring paperwork to do. Those are normal, workplace punishments, and make sense, if he's really that mad (but we all know he won't since he needs to keep her and her powers under his thumb), but threatening to harm her when Cassian should draw the line.

The reason he's a terrible mate, isn't because he doesn't act like she's always right or take her side every time. It's because he lets other people (read Rhys) take things too far. Nobody has any reason to think that if Rhysand ordered Nesta to be killed the next morning, that he'd do anything to protect her. He may tried have stood up for her when she wasn't around once or twice in... The series (once in acofas, during that dinner, another time when they wanted her to find the trove, and once when he wanted her to be aware of the fact she can create a trove), but he backs down so easily, proving that if push comes to shove, he won't fight for her.

#anti inner circle #anti rhysand #nesta deserves better #pro nesta #anti acosf #anti ic #pro nesta archeron #anti amren #anti mor #nesta acotar #hofas bonus chapter #rhys is mad at nesta #again #he wants her dead #like seriosuly #does he ever not want her dead? #Or is it only when she's useful to him?

[leoniestarlee]

Illyrian Assassin (8)

Pairing: Azriel x OC

Word Count: 2.3k

Warning: past trauma, slow burn

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7)

--

"You're joking, right?" I asked Cassian two days later in the sitting room at the House of Wind.

Daisy whined about something to Amren as the second in command taught both my sisters the history of our world. Azriel was off doing something for Rhysand, while Mor was at the Palace above the Court of Nightmares, waiting for our High Lord.

"Nope," Cassian said, popping the 'p' as he relaxed against the couch beside me. "He told Mor moments before he left."

I clicked my tongue, holding back a smile. "Only our brother would crash Tamlin's wedding."

"I would've loved to join him," he mused, a wicked grin on his lips. "Imagine the look on Tamlin's face at my appearance beside Rhys."

"Imagine if he saw me," I cut in, lifting my legs up and placing them on his lap. "He might've killed me for what I helped Rhys and his father do in the Spring Court all those years ago."

"I have a strong feeling that that's why Rhys didn't bring either of us. A war would've started."

My face dropped, even as Cassian massaged my feet. "Do you truly think that a War is coming, again?" I lowered my voice, making sure the children don't hear me.

Cassian's hands paused on my feet; his shoulders tensed. "Rhys believes so." Willa laughed, the sound usually comforting to me, only for it to now be an ache at the thought of it being taken from me. Cassian must have noticed my change in mood because he said, "If War comes, those girls will be protected, Rory. They'll be protected by all of us, and I'll personally put my life in front of theirs to protect them, even if it kills me."

"No," I said sternly, cutting a look at him. "If anyone is to die for those girls, it's me. I won't let anyone else risk their lives to protect them."

"It's not your choice if I risk my life to protect them," he countered gently, rubbing my feet again. "They might be your sisters by blood, but they're my sisters too. Everyone else would say the same, I know that for a fact."

I stayed silent, letting the words linger between us before I exhaled and dropped my head back against the arm of the couch. "Then we better make sure that this War doesn't happen."

Cassian grunted his agreement as Mor appeared in the doorway, both her hands on her hips and a scowl on her face.

"What's wrong with you?" I asked her.

"Rhysand," she answered in a tight tone, her hands dropping from her hips as she strolled toward us. "I can't believe he actually took Feyre from her wedding."

"I can," Cassian and I said at the same time, followed by a laugh from Mor. "I would've been more surprised if he didn't take—save her from that wedding. I wonder how the beast is handling the absence of his bride-to-be," I mused, sitting up as she sat down.

"Well, his reaction is probably worse than Feyre's," she mumbled, allowing me to lay my head in her lap. "She threw a shoe at the back of his head."

Cassian howled in laughter, Amren hissing at him seconds later from the loud noise that disturbed the girls learning. My own body shook from quiet laughter as I pictured the once mortal girl throwing a shoe at my brother's head.

"I'll never let him live that down," I chuckled.

"That's exactly why I'm back here," Mor said. "I gave him shit about it and he sent me right back here."

That only made Cassian howl in laughter once again.

"Uncle Cass!" Daisy scolded him from the dining room table.

Amren gave Cassian a smug look while he quickly closed his mouth, but then it was Mor and I howling in laughter at Cassian and Daisy. Only the General would listen to either Willa or Daisy.

"Now I've got you by the balls!"

"Daisy!" Mor and I yelped, my body sitting up like lightening as I widened my eyes at my younger sister who cheekily giggled.

"Rhysand is in shit," Mor grumbled, rubbing her temple. "This is why we were so careful with our words around her."

"It was bound to happen soon," Amren commented, giving Daisy a high-five that I shook my head at.

Powerful beats of wind rocked the veranda glass doors seconds before Azriel landed, his Illyrian armor gleaming against the sun as he tucked his wings closed behind his back. I hadn't had spoken to him since the other day, mainly because he'd been busier than usual with Rhysand, but I was just glad that my sketchbook was back on my bed by the time I went to sleep that night.

The girls looked away from Amren, focusing their attention on the spymaster as he gave them that friendly smile reserved for only them. I sat up, filling the space between Cassian and Mor as heat prickled my skin at just the sight of Azriel. Is it embarrassment I felt? Most likely. He hasn't asked anymore questions about the drawings, and I hope it stays that way.

"Where have you been?" Mor asked Az as he pulled off his leather gloves, revealing the beautiful scars covering his hands.

"Doing work for Rhys, like usual," he answered in a tired tone, sitting down in the armchair across from us. His wings flexed out once before tucking back in and sagging behind him.

"You look tired," Cassian mused, eyeing him closely as Az nodded his head, eyes closing. "Well, I guess it's a bad time to suggest we go to Rita's tonight."

I smiled, facing Mor who was already grinning like a giddy child. It's been too long since any of us have all gone to Rita's for a few drinks and dancing. But then I remembered why we haven't and the smile dropped off my face.

"I can't join you tonight," I said, glancing over my shoulder to the girls still learning with Amren. "Big sister duty, remember?" I faced back to Cass.

"What about their nanny?" Mor questioned, standing up from the couch and raising a brow at me. "I'm sure Evelyn won't mind."

I shook my head. "I can't ask her at the last minute. It would be rude."

"Fine," she stated, strutting away from us. "I'll just go ask her myself and offer a very high sum of money. Extra even."

"Mor," I murmured, sending her a pointed look as Cassian snorted and Azriel opened his eyes, watching only me. "The girls are my responsibility."

She halted, whirling around to face me. "And it's my responsibility, as your best friend, to make sure that you get a break from watching them for at least one night." She raised a brow, challenging me to change her stubborn mind.

"You know she's not going to take no for an answer," Azriel chuckled, looking between the both of us as Cassian threw an arm around my shoulder.

"He's right," she chimed, turning around again and walking away from us. "Start getting ready!"

I failed to hide my smile as I looked at Cassian and then Azriel. "I hope you males remember how to dance."

Mor held my hand as she twirled me between her and Cassian, a melody flowing around us with other High Fae and lesser dancing. Azriel, for whatever reason, decided to stay in our little booth. Not much of a surprise though. Whenever we'd come here, he would always be on alert and watching our surroundings. Must be a spymaster thing.

"Should we make a bet?" Cassian asked, raising his voice over the melody as I slightly bounced on my feet.

Mor dropped my hand, raising a brow at him as she took a sip from her wine. "A bet on what? We're dancing and drinking."

"A bet on if Azriel will take someone to bed," he answered her, my eyes widening as I nearly dropped my wine glass. I wasn't expecting that to come out of his mouth. And part of me bloody hated those words.

Azriel had always had lovers through the centuries. It was no secret. There were even a few times where I'd catch him sneaking back into the House of Wind or walking a female out of his room. I would tease him about it at breakfast the next morning, even if I didn't like it, but that was just how it went. He would have female company some nights, and I would pretend to be fine with it. I never quiet understood why it affected me so much, and instead of spending useless hours thinking about it, I would just throw myself into a bed with a male to distract me.

"You're dreaming," Mor laughed, slapping her hand against his shoulder. "Az hasn't had any female company in months. I'm pretty sure he's been too busy to even think about it."

I stayed silent, watching the two of them as I sipped my wine, needing as much as I can for this.

"That's exactly why we should set him up with someone tonight," Cassian countered, and I coughed into my wine, the liquid splashing against my face.

"What?" I exclaimed, wiping the wine off my face with the back of my hand as they both tried not to laugh at me. "Az is picky with his females," I quickly recovered myself. "He won't just take anyone home." Or at least I hope not. I don't feel like watching him carry a female in his arms back to the House of Wind...Where I now live.

Oh Cauldron, I didn't think this living situation through.

"Oh, come on," Cassian drawled. "We've all noticed how tense he's been lately. He needs this."

I turned toward Mor, hoping she would be against the idea like me, but the grin on her face made my hope drop. "You think it's a good idea too, don't you?" I asked her.

"Cass does have a point. Az has been tensed and quiet lately," she pointed out. "Why don't we make a small game out of this?"

"I think it's a bad idea to make a game out of his lovers," I argued.

But, of course, she ignored me. "The first one to set our dear Az up with a female, gets fifty gold marks from the losers." Her smile could've lit up the whole room as she looked between the two of us.

Cassian agreed to the bet and before I could decline, Mor grabbed my hand and started to drag me toward the booth where I could spot Azriel sipping his beer with Truth-Teller resting on the table like it's not a weapon.

I gulped down the rest of my wine, wanting my soul to be floating out of my body for what's about to happen. Mor let go of my hand as we arrived beside the booth and she slipped in, Cassian standing beside her side of the booth as I stood beside Azriel.

"You look bored, Az," Mor sweetly said, bringing Azriel's attention to her as she smiled at him. "Why don't you join us?"

"Dancing?" He raised a brow, sending her a pointed look. "When was the last time you saw me dance, Mor?"

"I can't even remember," Cassian answered for her, taking the seat beside her.

Azriel focused on them for a long moment, probably knowing that they're up to something. Whenever Mor and Cassian acted like this together, we all knew something was at play. The last time they agreed on an idea together, I returned to my apartment to find Willa's tanned skin had somehow been dyed green. It took me weeks to get rid of it.

Azriel's focus cut to me, his eyes travelling down the red dress Mor allowed me to borrow for tonight. Then slowly, as if savouring every inch me, he looked back up to my eyes and moved over on the seat.

"Do you want to sit down?" he offered me, small butterflies erupting in my stomach. Yep, I'd had enough to drink.

"Sure—"

"Nope," Cassian interrupted as I sent him a small glare, still deciding to take the seat beside Azriel anyway. "There's no point in sitting down when we're all going to the dance floor anyway."

"I agree with Cass," Mor mused with a quiet clap. "While we're dancing, let's find Az some female company to join us."

This time I had to physically morph my face into a fake smile so I wouldn't out right frown at their idea. Why should I care though? I mean, I hate the idea they're presenting, but I'm only Azriel's friend. I should be encouraging them.

"I don't feel like dancing," Azriel said with a bored tone. "Nor do I feel like having a random female keep me company."

Cassian exhaled in defeat. "But why?" he asked before taking a swig of his beer. "There's so many females in here that would pounce on you the second you give them your attention."

Oh, Mother above. Please, do not let me witness that tonight.

Azriel turned to me, and my heart sped up just from the soft look on his beautiful face. "Will you be joining us to dance?"

"Me?" I blurted but quickly recovered, holding up my empty wine glass with a lazy smile. "Oh, no. I need a refill and a break before my feet fall off." I tried to laugh, but it came out more like a wheeze and I silently scolded myself.

He gave me a small nod, then turned his attention back to Mor and Cassian who both waited, wicked grins on their faces. "It seems there's no one I want to dance with."

"Stubborn bastard," Cassian muttered, shaking his head at the fact he knew there was no way Az would give in to their peer pressure and join them.

Me on the other hand? I felt my heart ache and my stomach drop with an uneasy feeling. He'd said there's no one he wants to dance with. Which means, he doesn't want to dance with Cassian, or Mor, or...me.

I think I might just need a whole fucking bottle of wine at this point. His words shouldn't affect me at all, yet my whole mood is was ruined.

And why was that damn tugging feeling back in my chest?

#acotar #acotar series #azriel #azriel acotar #acotar fanfiction #acotar fanfic #azriel shadowsinger #azriel spymaster #shadowsinger #cassian #cassian acotar #oldersister #rhysand #wattpad #wattpad writer #night court #illyrian #friends to lovers #found family #azriel x reader #azriel shadowsinger x reader #acotar x reader #azriel x oc #acotar x oc

[feyre-darling92]

Hi I was wondering if you are still asking for requests in fics. Feel free to just forget about this. If you are I would love to see Azriel(acotar) and prompt two in angst’Don’t do this to yourself’ again feel free to leave this and not even look at it.

Hello! This was a pleasure to write and I hope you like it. Feel free to correct me if this isn't what you meant.

Also this is not beta read so sorry in advance

You were sure , he was avoiding you.

Everytime he would enter a room and you happened to be there he would leave. Everytime you had to work together he wouldn't talk to you unless he had to. He wouldn't even look you in the eyes.

You'd be a liar if you said you didn't miss him. You did, a lot in fact. Your love for the shadowsinger was a secret you had kept well hidden but you couldn't deny it.

But how could you love someone who kept pushing you away?

You had been so frustrated that you couldn't help but ask Feyre. "Have I done anything wrong?" you asked her one morning when no one was home.

"Well, firstly goodmorning. Secondly, what happened?" she placed her cup on the table and gestured you to sat down next to her.

You did so and continued, "Azriel. What have I done to him?"

"Nothing?"

"C'mon, don't say you haven't noticed him avoiding me!"

"Oh. Yes. Have you tried to ask him?"

"Like he would answer" you sighed in desparation and supported your head on your hands.

"Do you- Do you like him?" she raised an eyebrow.

"He is family. Of course I like him"

"You know what I mean"

"If I said no, would you believe me?"

"No" she said and added after a few seconds, "Just try to talk. I'm sure you can clear this out"

"Maybe you're right"

"I am always right" she laughed got up, leaving you alone.

And so you did, the same night asking him to talk just after he, Rhys and Cassian had returned from a diplomatic mission.

"What is it?" he asked once you got outside.

"Why have you been avoiding me?"

"Is this what you wanted?" he asked you disappointed, but seeing you serious he spoke again, "I haven't" he lied easily. You didn't believe him.

"Please, don't act like a fool" you scoffed annoyed by his attitude.

"Why do you even care?" he raised his voice so slightly but enough for you to get angry, "Because I love you damn it!" the words came out of your mouth before you could think about it.

"I don't"

You froze. What?

"I do not love you" he repeated himself. You opened your mouth to speak but no words left. Instead you ran away, leaving him alone standing in the dark, regretting his words.

The truth was that he couldn't face you because you were his mate. That's why he was avoiding you, because he was afraid. The shadowsinger was afraid.

And so the next day he asked Rhysand to send him to a mission, whatever that was, he just wanted to go away for a while.

And his brother, although worried, did sent him away. You, however, were left behind, devastated from his words.

Only when he came back many days later did you decide to try again. You were known for many things but giving up was not one of them.

"Open the door, I know you're inside" you knocked for the third time after not receiving a response.

"Why can't you justt leave me alone?" he yelled from behind the door.

"Why won't you listen to me?" you yelled back.

"I said I don't love you" he finally opened the door facing you.

"Liar!"

"Just go" he moved to close the door but you stopped him,

"Why are you doing this to yourself? Why won't you let me love you?"

"Because-" he looked you in the eyes, "Because you're my mate" he whispered and your heart stopped. "What?"

"You're my mate"

"Then why-"

"Because I will hurt you" he cut you off, "I know that one day I will hurt you and I would rather die than do that"

"But you won't" you took his hand in yours and held it tightly "You can't"

"You don't know that" he looked at his feet and you brought your hand to his cheek, making him look at you again, "You could never hurt me"

He considered your words for a few seconds and before you could know it his lips found yours, capturing them in a soft kiss.

"I love you" he admitted for the first time out loud, "Stars, I love you"

"I love you too"

#acotar x reader #azriel x you #azriel x reader #azriel imagine #imagine acotar #feyre darling92 #feyre-darling92

[nestasgalpal]

Sorry but I can't help but notice how frequently the instances where the fandom is misogynistic relate directly to a piece of content SJM herself has written. I first noticed it after finishing ACOSF, when some people started using Elain's inability to bear illyrian children as a justification to not ship her with Azriel. Obviously that is a horrible thing to say, implying that there is no chance he gets into a relationship with her if Elain cannot give him offspring. I never commented on it because many were already asking people to stop, and as far as I am concerned, everyone did after realizing why it was extremely disrespectful.

But I kept thinking about it because you know what?? SJM is the one reinforcing that kind of ideas and dynamics on her own characters (not saying people who said it are blameless for replicating that behavior). Her idea of a happy ending is exactly that: married, soulmates and with children/the prospect of children. She did that for Aelin/Rowan. She did it for Feyre/Rhysand. She did it for Nesta/Cassian and even for Vivianne and Kalias. Despite not having to, she made Nesta and Cassian mates and specifically had her modify her body to let us know she will eventually give birth to his kids after having Nesta suffering body dysmorphia in the past. If there is one couple who could have adopted bastard children because he is one, and he has strong ties with Illyria, that was Nessian. If there was a couple with chemistry strong enough to not need to be mates, that was Nessian.

And she still went out of her way to ensure Nesta can give him biological offspring. Same thing with Feysand. Feyre could have survived Nyx's birth and decided to have only one kid, keeping the chance of adopting open. But she didn't! SJM made sure Feyre can now have more kids and has said she has already thought about names for every couple's babies.

Admitting that it IS misogynistic to imply Elain x Azriel won't happen because her body is not prepared for illyrian babies can coexist with the idea that SJM perpetuates in her writing the traditional structure of a family and is the first one to reinforce the idea that happy endings equal "married with their soulmate and with kids".

#anti sjm #anti acotar

[flowerflamestars]

So, I was rereading No Grave Can Hold My Body Down (again 💕) and I became fascinated by the idea of Ch1 from Nesta’s pov. Her first few loops were pretty short she quickly starts planning, taking notes, and befriending gods. Nesta doesn’t know Lucien very well so I picture her scratching her head, staring at her flowcharts where Lucien’s name is circled with “???” written after it because he’s so much less predictable then everyone else. Why is Lucien, of all people, the only one who seems to change independent of her own actions? If she has to listen to Feyre whine about one of disappearing acts ONE MORE TIME she might hunt him down and strangle him herself. And then she’s moping next to him at the bar at Feyre’s Awful wedding and “she never really loves him either”

Also, WHEN exactly did Elain get a pet HELLHOUND?

PS I love that the loops after Hybern wins Lucien’s just like “fuck this shit. MURDER” and then “fuck this shit I WANT MY MOM”

oh that is so fun a thought!

A few things: while Nesta might present herself, by the time Lucien catches up several centuries in, as having an established pedagogy of time magic bullshit churning away, she fully spent the first few loops going completely insane.

The loops only end with death, or the timeline reset- they don't end when each other dies. So, for example, Loop 4- Lucien kills Tamlin, and he gets thrown into Loop 5. Nesta lives out six years of Loop 4 before straight up murdering Cassian, and getting reset on her way to do the same to Rhysand.

Experientially Lucien, in equal parts due to genuine wonder if ANY of this is real and the fact that being carrying along by a greater, shitty force is a very specific misery he can't seem to escape, lets the timeline happen to him, unless he really can't stand it.

Nesta goes in the Cauldron, or Nesta dies, and the Cauldron thinks this whole thing is the best amusement to exist in millennia.

So Nesta 1)knows everything happening is real, 2) keeps making even small butterfly wing changes that keep having bizarrely huge consequences, and 3) has already spent so long telling herself not to look at Lucien Vanserra he's functionally her own sexy blind spot.

Lucien being singular just seems SO MUCH LIKE LUCIEN to Nesta that it's infuriating but not incriminating.

She's not sure when she says it. She's interested- more now than centuries earlier- he's never fit but finding out why bowls her over. Convinces her that maybe, maybe, Nesta selfish, Nesta wanting really had started the loop in the first place, what she's been afraid of for years.

Lucien never thinks he started it, but he does start wishing it would never end.

As for Daisy, our beloved murder pup- SPOILERS FOR THE TIME LOOP BABES- that's the thing, isn't it? That's the real first unaltered timeline, with Nesta's suicide attempt and Lucien's slow moving collapse and Elain deciding to burn the world down rather than lose her sister. Loop 0.

Like the Cauldron, or Mezo, or other creatures, Daisy isn't quite touching time the same way. Elain is the Seer, and Eris has seer blood. He means to give her a gift to help make the impossible thing they want to do easier and succeeds in making a constant in the timeline. It's seamless. Lucien just expects it, Nesta's used to it- of course Elain and Eris keep being drawn together, of course Elain adopts a primordial Autumn creature, they're timeloops. the same sorts of things will always happen.

Won't they?

#lol yes Lucien's desire to fuck off and go home is so important to me #and it shifts you know? #once Nesta becomes Home #the secret is that Lucien had always been a hugely frustrating ????? to Nesta #always #he always behaves better and unexpectedly and refused to play into her expectations #Daisy girls job is cuddles and death and she is ready to do some murder #Not Eris starting the loops #not remembering the loops #and still falling in love with his coconspirator over and over and over no matter what

[readychilledwine]

Enough

Reader is struggling after returning home from Under the Mountain. After the High Lords meeting, it has all finally become too much, leading to Rhysand having to comfort his mate and High Lady as her self-worth and panic come into play

Warnings- negative self talk, references to anxiety and depression, is being unedited a warning? Probably should be. 

Author's note- it's been a rough week, and I wanted to hear this from someone tonight. So, this happened, and maybe one of you needs to hear it too. 💜 you're not alone, and you are enough.

Rhys held his mate's hair back as she threw up for the 3rd time this evening. 

Since coming home from the place. She hadn't been herself. 

Little noises made her jump. 

Social interactions tended to lead to her crying.

Her mind would become blank and filled with white noise when she felt put on the spot or pressured.

She was constantly fidgeting with something. Her mind was constantly racing and trying to focus all at the same time. 

Her "focusing" became hyper focus, though. She'd focus on perfection. On overworking whatever task she was working on to death. 

Worst of all? She'd become a people pleaser. She was constantly trying to make sure all parties in situations were happy. Even to her own detriment.

And today, in her mind, she had failed.

She failed when Azriel attacked Eris. 

She failed when Feyre attacked Beron.

She failed to maintain peace. A task that was never assigned to her.

"Darling," Rhys whispered. "You did nothing wrong." He was in her mind and reading her through the bond as well.

Failure. Not good enough. Not worthy. Stupid. Ugly. Powerless. Over Emotional. Damaged. 

Damaged. 

Damaged goods. 

He felt his heart shattered piece by piece at the voice she heard those words in. His voice. Amarantha's voice. Her own voice.

"Darling, please." He rubbed her back. "You can not control what others do."

A loud sob was her response as she began to cry. "I can't be High Lady," she finally said in broken breaths. "I- The Night Court needs better. I can't even stop Azriel from attacking someone we have an alliance with. I-" Her voice trailed off, breaking at the end as she moved to lean against the wall. "I'm not good enough."

Rhys studied her tear soaked face. Her distant eyes. The look of defeat on her face. Amarantha had destroyed his once confident wife. "My love-"

"Swear in Feyre," her voice broke again. "I see how you look at her. I won't hold you back, Rhysand."

"Darling, what are you talking ab-"

"You deserve better than me. You can do better than me. I'm a broken toy you had fun with for a few hundred years, and now I'm beyond repair. I'm a burden, Rhys. I-"

Rhys finally lost it. Tears fell from his eyes as he interrupted her, "Y/N, you can not be serious right now. You are my mate. When you hurt, I hurt with you. When you bleed, I bleed with you."

He took a few breaths before forcing her into his lap and arms. "You are not broken. You are hurting. You are healing. I do not want, nor need, anything besides this. Besides you. There has never been anyone else but you."

He paused to take another calming breath. "I see into your head, your dreams, your heart. Darling, I know. I know you are struggling. I am, too. But I am here for you. I am here to listen, to hold you, to LOVE you through all of this."

"Rhys-"

"I am not done. You carry so much, my love. Too much. You are trying to hold the weight of the world on your shoulders, and it is destroying you. It is eating you alive. Let me shoulder the burden with you, darling. What happened down there does not change that you are my mate, my wife, my everything. I can not and will not lose you because of her." 

He listened to her shaken breathing and began rubbing small circles on her back. "What happened does not change that I love and support you. That I want to have a family with you. That you are the best damned Lady of any court in History. Even during our time there, your laws, your improvements, and your goals changed the Night Court, Illyria, and Velaris for the better."

He paused as she calmed down slightly. "Your work for the poor and underprivileged has started a movement and vast improvements, darling. Your work for females in Illyria is changing the more progressive camps daily. Your work for our family-" he chuckled lightly, "My love, we would not survive a day without you."

"But-"

"No. There are no buts in this, y/n. You are our rock, our anchor. You are the light in the darkness for our family. We would be lost without you, even on your worst days. But my love, even you, as powerful as you are, can not control what people do. You put so much pressure on yourself to do so, to make us all happy, and all you truly need to do to make us happy is be, y/n."

He stopped talking for a second as her watery eyes met his violet ones. "You just have to be, darling. You are enough. You are worthy. You are so loved. I love you. More than anything in this world, and above all else, I love you. I have loved you since we were children, and I will love you long after our children take over this Court.."

Her hand touched his face gently as she nodded, tears still falling. "You are enough, y/n. You will always be enough." She nodded slowly. "I love you."

"I love you," she repeated back. 

He leaned their foreheads together and repeated one last time.

 "You are enough, Y/n."

#acotar #rhys x reader #rhysand #rhysand x you #rhysand x reader #acotar x reader

[acourtofthought]

Your latest post which includes sjm interviews made me noticed something...

That she had never intended to do 3 sister x 3 brothers!! Bc this is the biggest argument E/riels drop when they want to defend their ship. "Nesta and Feyre ended up being mates with 2 brothers so it's only acceptable and predictable that Elain is going to end up with Az." The next one is probably Elain's friendship with the twins which they say Rhysand x Feyre/ Amren/ Mor, Cassian x Nesta/ Gwyn/ Emerie and Azriel x Elain/ twins. They say "this has been 💫pLaNeD💫 form the BEGINNING. how could any other ships be acceptable?" And the third would be the 4 books build up between them which it always makes me laugh bc sjm has also build up a future for Elucien. Lucien being Day court heir and Elain love for gardening and sunshine and so many other reasons. And i don't think that's for nothing so...

Anyways the interviews just proves that sjm never had this idea to begin with and right now she just want to mess with fans lol like what she said about Tamlin and Feyre (and even then some ppl noticed how toxic their relationship was cuz there was little red flag in some scenes that makes you think twice about him.)

Which is working because we can see how E/riels will die to defend it. And I think this was intentional...

Again this just points out that she goes with what it feels right to the story and characters and from what we see and have in the books Elain and Az won't happen and I think that bonus chapter was their end...

Bc I don't think sjm is going to do an actual love triangle. Specially if it's going to be between 2 women (Gwyn and Elain) and it will never bode well with the audience...

(Unless Azriel miraculously stop acting like Elain is this poor girl who needs defending and keep her in the dark which I doubt that will happen.)

Also I don't see in sjm female characters to beg for a man specially Gwyn.

And Elain showing some backbone in acosf makes be believe that she won't sit down and let some man to defend her and protect her from danger...

I think Elucien and Nessian both prove that SJM never intended 3 brothers with 3 sisters. Not only did SJM intend for Nesta to be with Lucien until she realized they would be a poor match.....but that means she NEVER initially thought of someone being with Cassian. We have never been given any indication that Cassian was meant to have a mate UNTIL he and Nesta sat down at the table for one another and she realized that was it for the both of them so from both directions, 3 brothers with 3 sisters was never a thing. And back to Lucien....if SJM wanted Lucien to have a failed bond then she would have just kept him with Nesta and had those two break their bond. It really doesn't make sense to say, "Nesta and Lucien would cause one another pain and suffering so I'm not going to put them together.......so instead I'll pair him with Elain so SHE can cause him pain and suffering when she leaves him for someone else and rejects their bond."

#elucien

[cateyesinlove]

Azriel and Senka

Senka; shadows

Azriel's dæmon was one of the first things that set him apart from his brothers and father. While they had an aegle, Azriel had a bat, a small witty, and playful girl.

When his brothers had burned him, they had caged Senka and kicked her as far as they could from Azriel to make it all so much worse. Senka hated being in confined spaces.

Senka stopped talking until they ended up with Rhys's family. Only after the love and acceptance, he was shown in his new she he was able to feel like she could exist without endangering Azriel's life.

When Azriel fell in love with Mor, Senka was very against it. it wasn't anything about Mor rather that even she could tell Mor had no interest in Azriel. During those long 500 hundred years Senka went from hating Mor, to tolerating Mor, to loving Mor and accepting the fact that Azriel might just pin eternally for her, but then Elain happened.

Sweet, gentle, and intriguing Elain. Senka remembers exactly the moment Azriel catch feelings for her, a human girl with the courage enough to even think of taking him and his brothers down with a fork. Senka knew then and there that she was the indicated person to bring Azriel back from his hopelessness with love.

Then she was made fae, she was Lucien's mate and suddenly she wasn't around, physically there but her consciousness somewhere else. Senka had been intrigued by Anwar because sometimes he would answer for Elain, he would talk about what she needed and other he would only stare, eyes milky and his sight lost in the horrors of where Elain’s mind were.

Azriel never stopped falling for her, on the contrary, the more time he spend with her the easiest was to realize he wasn't deeply in love with Mor. Not anymore.

Then Elain had used Azriel shadows and the bond between them seemed to strengthen with every passing day until the solstice.

Senka had always loved Cassian and Rhysands dæmons like they were sisters but after the solstice incident, Senka couldn't look at Jemisha the same way, Jemisha had done her best to persuade Rhys that forbidding Azriel and Elain was a mistake but she still gave in. She stopped fighting for them. She had expected more from her.

Now she hated Rhysand, she hated Lucien and she resented Jemisha. Her list kept growing and she didn't like it. Senka was the part of Azriel that was able to laugh, to be expressive, to be vulnerable. Senka was Azriels hidden self-worth, she was there to remind Azriel of all the good he had done, how he was worth it, and how he deserved to be loved. Rhysand had ruined her hard work in the last 150 years and if he wasn't high lord she would have clawed his eyes out by now.

"My dearest boy," she had whispered as Azriel observed the small bottle of headache medicine. "You deserve to be happy and so does she." she told him putting her wing on his arm, "There is nothing good you don't deserve, this is the first good thing that I have ever seen you go after, do not lose yourself to the darkest thoughts just because of an obstacle." she flew until she was between the bottle and his face, hovering there. " You humans are your worst enemy, that's why you have us, so we can aid you in the battles against yourself. I'm not letting you lose this one Az, nor the next, nor any of them and I won't let you lose her."

#acotar #azriel and senka #acotar daemon au #azriel shadowsinger #daemon au #azriel #elriel #pro elriel #elain x azriel #pro elain

[icanbeyourgenie]

“ But I had a nightmare... ” - a sad Lyra to Aeron

❝Still. You shouldn't be here, Lyra.❞

His little sister looked at him with her big sad eyes and he knew he would give up. He always did give up when she came in his bed in the middle of the night because she felt safer sleeping in his arms. But he still had to at least pretend to be stern about it. Lyra was way too soft to live in this realm. If someone found about her need of reassurance she would be punished and rejected. He did remember his own fear of spiders when he was little, and how his mother beat that fear out of him by locking him in room full of spiders for weeks. It did help him manage his fear, but he knew that Lyra would not handle this kind of exposure.

As a good fae, he shouldn't care. But Lyra seemed to escape his rules. So when her eyes started to water, he sighed and opened his arms. She jumped in and they laid down, looking at the celling. ❝Tomorrow I'm putting a double lock on my door.❞ He said for good measure. It was probably the 10th time he used this threat now.

❝What am I supposed to do when I have nightmares?❞

❝Go back to sleep.❞

❝That's easy for you to say. You can control dreams so you never have nightmares!❞ Lyra pouted and Aeron chuckled.

❝Other people's dream only. But anyway, what was your nightmare even about?❞

The little fae waited a bit before answering. ❝...About getting casted away.❞

Aeron stayed silent. It was a rather realistic nightmare, it could happen. It will probably happen. Aeron saw people way thougher than Lyra get cast away by his mother and uncle. He usually barely interracted with his potential siblings or cousins, not until they were a permanent member of the family. But Lyra was really persistent.

❝You have years before it happens.❞ He finally said.

❝Years won't change anything. I'm too weak.❞

❝Xanthe too. He's still there, isn't he?❞

❝Xanthe can create weapons that would decimate cities.❞

❝Maybe you could too.❞

❝I don't want to do that. I don't want to hurt people.❞

Aeron sighed. ❝Then yes. You'll be cast away.❞

He ignored his uneasy feeling. It was probably just something he ate. Gentle and soft faes were a myth, because in the real fairy world, they didn't last long. A weak royal household would be an abomination. Right?

❝Not if you're king...❞ Lyra spoke soflty, but Aeron groaned as he put a pillow on his head.

❝Not that again. We already talked about it, go to sleep before I knock you out.❞ But Lyra was already propped on her elbows, looking at him with a spark in her eyes.

❝You could, though!❞ She was maybe weak but she sure could bother someone to death. Perhaps she should bring that up to Morgana. ❝It doesn't have to be the elder. Syrus was the oldest and yet mother is the High Queen! Everybody knows she favors you, and you're the one who has fairy dust. You, not Rhys. Not any of us. You could be high king someday.❞

It was true enough that he was the favorite, and that in the matter of succession nothing was decided yet. Morgana let Rhysand believe he was the heir, but she was too manipulative to be trusted. As long as no crown prince was elected, nothing was set in stone.

❝And then what? Change the rules, make everyone happy and nice with each other?❞ Aeron almost laughed. This was a child's dream. A human child's, not a fae's. ❝This is not our customs, Lyra. It's nothing more than a fairytale.❞ He could see the irony in that.

❝Don't you want more, though? I know you're better than that. Deep down.❞

Aeron didn't think he was - he was thriving just well amist all the cruelty and chaos - but he knew where Lyra got this idea. So he looked at her, putting one hand in the back of her head to make sure she listened to him.

❝You forget two things. First of all, I have absolutely no intention of being king. This is the most boring job in the world.❞

❝You'd rather keep being a pirate?❞

❝Yes, actually. I'd barely be at court if it wasn't for Mother. Which brings me to the second point: this debate is pointless because Morgana Le Fey will never abdicate the throne. She has countless years in front of her, no one can touch her as long as she has the Spectre. She's just using the heir title as bait to manipulate us and Rhys, Aldris and Euphemia are too blind or stupid to realize they're being played and moved around her board as she sees fit. I don't want the throne, but even if I did, I'd never have it.❞

❝But-❞

❝No more buts. You go to sleep now. And tomorrow, you'll get back on the training field.❞

The girl wanted to protest, but Aeron discretly moved his hands to make the dust settle directly on her face. She was yawning already, and her body fell on the mattress. She asked, before falling asleep: ❝If I get cast away, could I come on your ship?❞

❝I don't think you'd like it very much there either.❞ He answered, but she was snoring already.

Aeron got up and carried her body accross the castle, all the way to her room. She wouldn't wake up, this time.

The next day, he installed the double lock. She'd resent him for it, probably wouldn't even talk to him for a bit, but eventually it was for her own good. Lyra had to learn how to toughen up. The thing was, Aeron was quite sure she didn't have it in her...

#aeron le fey #aeron x lyra #i really need to finish this answer omg!! #i love their relationship #and i love aeron's morally grey vibes so much #he's not a good person #he's not terrible either #there's so much place for growth and i love it #he just wants to be a pirate okay #writing prompt #aeron writing prompt #likeafairytale #lyra having that much faith in him just to die in the end... #and be the reason he'll fully rebel against his mother

[iamreykylotrash]

realizing what he lost.

psa: this scene does mention narcissistic behavior. please, read with caution.

Cassian could feel his heart beating faster as he walked closer to the double doors.

He had craved to see her. After almost two years since she fled to the Autumn Court, he had still wanted her, never spending a day without her in his thoughts. He wondered what Eris did to her, only imagining what he would see after those doors opened.

Was she alright?

Did he hurt her?

Was she suffering?

Would she come back home?

Did she still love him?

Beside him, his family was there, waiting for those doors to open as well.

He could hear the mumbling from the inside, trying to hear his mate’s voice. He tried to single her out, but he couldn’t hear her over all the mumbles and laughter.

Will you be alright, Cassian? Rhys asks him.

It was a question he was asking himself since he found out she'd be here. His mind hounded him, calling out to her, receiving no answer. After everything that happened between them, he deserved her silence, but the pain was unbearable.

"Why do you always take their side? Every time I oppose them, you always defend them! You know I am right about this, Cassian! We have already fought a war where we lost thousands of lives! We are not prepared for another one! We won't last!" Nesta yelled at him.

Cassian pinches the bridge of his nose, "That isn't your call to make, Nesta! Rhysand and Feyre are the ones who make the call. Every war I have faced and won is because of Rhys. He knows what he is doing. We need to trust him." He tells her.

Nesta scoffs, "It's like you don't care how many soldiers you lose. Those men are prepared for war, but they are leaving behind families. You are part of the reason why. If you keep agreeing to everything that Rhysand does, eventually, you will lose." She says, facing away from him.

"And since when did you start caring about the lives of others? What did you do when your sister was out on her own, scavenging for food? You left her alone. She was out there by herself while you and Elain stood around doing nothing." He snaps at her.

Nesta snaps her head to him, "You have no idea what you are talking about! I explained my reason for doing so and I have apologized!" She tells him.

Cassian huffs a laugh, "And what was your precious reason? Was it because you were too lazy and figured that your youngest sister could do it on her own? Or was it because you thought yourself too valuable to ever do lowlife things such as that?" He says.

"Fuck you! Even when I told you everything that my mother had done to me, you still believe that I wanted Feyre to do everything? My mother trusted her to take care of our family! Yes, I know I could have done more, but I didn't know how to do everything as she did! Feyre had trained herself, taught herself the ways of the wild, while Elain and I could only watch!" She exclaimed.

Cassian rolls his eyes, "But you knew she was suffering. She needed your help, but you clearly couldn't see that. Instead, you stood to the side, caring about nothing but Elain and yourself. Fuck everyone, right? Including your father?" He tells her.

Nesta was stunned into silence.

Cassian's thoughts were interrupted as the doors opened.

As they walked into the room, he could see they were the sixth court to arrive. The Autumn Court wasn't there yet.

The General let out a breath of relief, not knowing what he would have done if he laid eyes on his mate. He might have embraced her or stole her away from the awful court, wanting to be with her for a single moment.

"Ah, look who has arrived. Isn't it fun to be in the same room as we were three years ago?" Helion asked with a gleaming grin.

Rhysand scoffed, "It would be fun if it weren't under severe circumstances. We shouldn't be talking about war so soon after going through one." He says, taking a seat beside Kallias.

Cassian's mind flashes back to that time, remembering how close he was to death, not knowing that he was looking at her right in those blue-gray eyes.

I have no regrets in my life, but this. That we did not have time. That I did not have time with you, Nesta.

That was the first moment he saw the pureness of his mate. He saw her vulnerability, feeling her very being tugging at him to stay alive. There, he fought with everything to be by her side, even if it were their last minutes alive.

Thesan scoffed, "If anything, you should be the most excited about this upcoming war, seeing as you weren't hesitant on starting one when Eris married your mate's sister." He says.

Feyre looks at him, "Whatever goes on with my family is none of your concern. Eris knew what he was getting himself into." She snaps at him.

He leaned forward in his seat, "Your sister crossed into my court, gaining temporary refuge from a family she stumbled upon. From what they told me, she was dirty, parched, and wet from the rain. Her fever reached high temperatures to the point where smoke rose from her body, even while she slept. She stayed in bed for five days before she was able to get up," Thesan says.

Cassian felt himself freeze at the words. He hadn't known. After she had left, he spent days screaming at himself when he should have gone out to find her, getting her back home where she was safe.

"You fucking bastard! How dare you say that? You make it seem that I didn't give a shit about what happened to her at all! I stared out the window almost every minute, hoping that she would return by sundown! There were times I stood out on the porch to see if I could see her silhouette to know she was alive! I may not have gone out there, but I was dependent on her!" Nesta yelled.

He chuckled, "Keep telling yourself that, Nesta, maybe you'll start believing yourself." He says, walking out of the room.

"She is my sister! I know what I did was wrong, but you have no right to hold it over my head! What if I said those same things about your mother?" Nesta told him.

At that, Cassian stopped, turning back to look at her, "You are on thin ice, Nes. I'd be careful with your next words." He tells her.

"So now you're threatening me? You are allowed to bring up my past, but I cannot bring up yours? You're a fucking hypocrite!" She yells at him.

"What happened with my mother is different. I barely knew her." He tells her.

Nesta scoffs, "And if you had known her, do you think that she'd be okay with you treating me like this? You act no better than the males in the mountains, treating women as if they're nothing but dirt!" She yells at him.

"Oh, you would like that, wouldn't you? You want me to be like them so that you can run off and go to someone else who your mother would deem more worthy of you?" He says, walking closer to her, "Let me tell you something, Nesta. There is no one in this world who will put up with you like I do. No one will understand you better than me. That is exactly why the Mother paired you with me. It's because I am the only male worthy enough to withstand your bullshit."

After the last word left his mouth, Cassian's head snapped to the side, feeling the sting of his mate's hand on his cheek, feeling the iron taste pool in his mouth.

"Whatever was between us, you have destroyed it. I don't ever want to see you again! You hear me! I reject this fucking bond!" She yells at him, walking past and out of the door of the House of Wind.

Next, it was Kallias who spoke, "High Lady, my guards had to rescue your sister from the mountains. With the equipment she was given, she barely made it out alive. If it weren't for the aid of my court, she would have been returned to you dead. Thankfully, for her flaming abilities, she was able to heal up quickly. We may not care about what goes on in your court, but when it comes to something like this, we deserve an explanation." He says.

Feyre sighs, looking away from them, probably talking to Rhysand through their bond. He held her hand, comforting her in this conflicting situation.

Cassian stared at them, knowing they were debating on whether they should say the truth. If they did, there was a high chance that he would be seen as the enemy in their eyes.

That's exactly what he thought he was anyway.

"There were some... complications between Nesta and me. I had said things I shouldn't and-" Feyre started but was interrupted.

"Lies. It was because of the General of the Night Court. From what my citizens told me, Eris and Nesta spoke about the situation whilst in my court. Cassian had fought with her, saying things about her past that he shouldn't have, making her leave that same night and trudge through Prythian on her own." Tamlin says, his arms crossed and eyes closed, unbothered.

Cassian stood from his seat, "You know nothing! I advise you to keep your mouth shut before-"

"Before what? You kill me? It would be mercy at this point. But do not try and scurry away from this, General. Your mate ran to another court to escape you," he leaned forward in his seat, "She married Eris because she would have died if she went anywhere else. You and your precious High Lord and Lady didn't give her a choice." Tamlin reveals, picking the dirt from under his nails.

This time, it was Cassian who was stunned into silence.

Then, the doors had opened once more, revealing the Autumn Court.

Everyone had their heads turned towards them, seeing Beron walk in with grace, the Lady of Autumn, and their youngest sons walking behind him. And the last to come in...

Nesta was put into a deep orange silk dress. It was slit at the side, showing her leg from her thigh all the way down to her white heels. Her neck was decored in the finest gold, shining in the sunlight. Her hair was put up into its natural style, wearing a crown of bronze leaves with gold flakes, showing where her allegiance lay.

Her arm was linked with Eris's, the ruby wedding ring shimmering as it caught the light. Her face held no emotion like her husband's. But they nodded once to everyone, showing common respect, unlike Beron and his other sons.

"Ah, the topic of conversation. You all made it just in time." Helion announced, the whole room becoming tense.

As the Autumn Court sat down, Cassian looked at the woman who sat across from him, not knowing who she was. She hadn't looked like the woman he fell in love with. She had changed.

"Topic of conversation? Please, do tell." Beron says to them.

Thesan shakes his head, "We will talk about it later. Right now, we must focus on what we will do about the upcoming war, and how we can prevent it from happening." He says.

He couldn't focus on their words. Nesta was fuller, vibrant even. She seemed more content. Even when her eyes briefly met with the Lady of Autumn, he saw the small smile she gave her, seeing a glow in her he hadn't noticed before.

Whatever was between us, you have destroyed it!

And it was true.

He had lost her.

#neris #nesta archeron #eris vanserra #cassian #anti nessian #nessian

[tadpolesonalgae]

hey tabby! 🫀anon here, thank you so much for taking the time to reply and with such kindness at that🥹

>>Gosh, I hope you aren’t disappointed by it—just as a heads up it might be a little slow in parts but I hope you enjoy it :)

First off, Gosh, I don't think I COULD be disappointed by ANYTHING that you write, like honest to God, your work heals me. I'm just having a hard time deciding if I want to wait cbmthy out till it's complete or if I should just start it already 😭 because I know I'll just want to tear my hair off if the latest chapter ends in like a cliffhanger or something.

>>(I loved him being cold, and cruel, and kind of flirtatious 🫢😳)

💯 i mean, sameee gurl sameee 👌🏻

honestly, I loved Rhysand's character soo much throughout the 1st book even tho sjm did not exactly make him seem like a "main" character or one who's on the "good" side in it, and I was even prepared for him as a villain of sorts? like, I don't mean Amarantha or Hybern level of villain, but deffo like badguy with ulterior motives that don't really affect the world in a bad sense but would definitely resort to immoral ways to accomplish said ulterior motives kind of bad? so kinda like an anti hero ig? (sorry if I'm not making sense, it's just English isn't my first language and I didn't know how to translate it best. also, I'm also not very good with words 🥲) which might be why I absolutely loved your dark!Rhys fics, Gods were they amazing, thankyou for writing them luv🤌🏻

>>I never hated Tamlin though

oh I'm so glad somebody resonates with me on this, now I don't know if you still like/don't dislike him after all the books or if you only meant through the first book, but I personally would love to see his character explored a lot more and think there's a lot of scope but for some reason everywhere I see, there's only hate for him(mostly) and I hate that some people judge me(and a lot of other readers) solely on the basis of characters we like/dislike? needless to say, I wouldn't say I hated tamlin either, infact I still enjoy feylin fics a lot even tho I don't get to read very many of them. it's just that back when I was reading ACOMAF I just NEEDED my otp(feysand) to happen fsr lol😅 honestly I don't think I'd have minded all that much if feylin was infact endgame, I'd just have been a little sad is all lol🥲 because how many otps of mine just didn't happen?(😭the answer is in a good high tens)

>>I mean to be fair, I don’t really watch films or tv shows at all anymore, and until acotar I hadn’t read many books so I think I might have been oblivious to those tropes/cliches

I so completely understand this bit, because personally, I'm exhaustingly clueless about a lot of media that people are usually just raving on and on about and it's not usually because I don't want to watch it, but there are these attention deficit tendencies that love visiting me on a regular basis that just won't let me sit down, load a show and watch it till the end😭 I mean, I watched the 1st iron man movie 16 years after it first came out so🥲and it wasn't for a lack of trying, I've been meaning to watch it for the past 8 years or so and I just got around to it. honestly it's a miracle I read all the Acotar books to the end lol

>>Thank you so much for writing in!!

Thank YOU for actually taking out the time to read it AND reply to it, in such detail at that. i truly mean it when I say you're one of the kindest individuals I've interacted with online and you inspire me to pass that kindness on as well.

ps: this isn't exactly an ask but I just couldn't NOT reply to your message, so I'm just glad you read it, you really don't have to reply to it, I'm just happy to have sent this message on it's way.

we all love you, Tabby.

—🫀

‘First off, Gosh, I don't think I COULD be disappointed by ANYTHING that you write, like honest to God, your work heals me.’

😭🫂🫂🫂🫂 thank you so much 😭🧡💛

‘I'm just having a hard time deciding if I want to wait cbmthy out till it's complete or if I should just start it already 😭 because I know I'll just want to tear my hair off if the latest chapter ends in like a cliffhanger or something.’

Oooh gosh, I guess it’s up to you? There’s still a lot of the story left to write—I’d say we’re probably either half or two thirds of the way there in terms of storyline and events that will happen. It’s not going to be over any time soon, basically, which is both exciting and pretty scary 😭

Honestly I think the tension is in the first half, if that makes sense? (Which it probably doesn’t since you don’t know reader’s fate, but 🤷) There’s going to be a ‘half’ chapter which adds in some contexts to reader’s history, but I think after chapter 15, that should be where the tension relaxes a bit? I like to think that in *very* broad terms, chapters 1 through 15 are the ‘hurt’ ones, and 16 onward will be the ‘comfort’ ones? There are still going to be intense moments but she might not have to be on her own anymore (provided she learns to seek help when she needs it)

‘but deffo like badguy with ulterior motives that don't really affect the world in a bad sense but would definitely resort to immoral ways to accomplish said ulterior motives kind of bad?’

Yes! Like I’m happy with how Feysand turned out, but I would have been fine if Rhys stayed ‘evil’ for a bit longer 🫢 just a few more scenes of him being super scary and Feyre being wary of him 🤭

I feel like even as soon as he first visited her in her cell, there was a suggestion he wasn’t that bad? Especially after we learned only one person bet on her winning? Ignoring how acotar characters would write that off as a whim, from a storytelling standpoint that’s a pretty clear way of singling a character out and making them significant 🤭

‘(sorry if I'm not making sense, it's just English isn't my first language and I didn't know how to translate it best. also, I'm also not very good with words 🥲)’

Girl if you hadn’t straight up said English isn’t your first language, I would’ve had no idea 😭

‘which might be why I absolutely loved your dark!Rhys fics, Gods were they amazing, thankyou for writing them luv🤌🏻’

Thank you so much!!! Yes, I have to say there is a certain appeal to writing dark characters, but only if they have a soft spot of some kind for the reader 😭🧡💛

‘oh I'm so glad somebody resonates with me on this, now I don't know if you still like/don't dislike him after all the books or if you only meant through the first book,’

I didn’t hate him in the first book or any other after that, BUT, I did definitely get frustrated with him during the High Lords’ meeting 😭 I kind of wish we got his perspective on that, or at least more about his character? Because Feyre dismantling stability within the Spring Court was quite a brash move I think, and one she might have decided against if she wasn’t having to deal with so many other matters as well as sorting through her own emotions? Because she definitely went through a lot 😭

I guess I feel that Tamlin has a lot of anger in general, which can make him impulsive and volatile at times—like when Feyre first realised she could make a shield in his office—and I’d love to see Sarah explore that more!!

‘but I personally would love to see his character explored a lot more and think there's a lot of scope’

Yes! Exactly!! There’s so much we don’t know about his character and so much potential to spin new stories? Ugh I would love that so much 😭

‘and I hate that some people judge me(and a lot of other readers) solely on the basis of characters we like/dislike?’

I mean, I think it’s made more complicated because of immersion and how emotionally connected some people feel to characters? I was having a conversation about how we all read the same books but it’s interesting there’s such a vast range of opinions? Like some people really hate Nesta, which I can see why I suppose but I personally love her 🧡💛

I think the problem starts when people get too attached to characters that they’re unable to speak objectively about them? I’m definitely guilty of this too though 😭 one of my friends read acotar and was saying something about Az and how they didn’t like him and I straight up asked them to stop because I knew it would upset me 😭 (they did, which was kind of them ☹️)

‘it's just that back when I was reading ACOMAF I just NEEDED my otp(feysand) to happen fsr lol😅’

No I get that 🤩

The tension being set up both in the one bed at the inn scene and the Court of Nightmares moment just made the resolution really enjoyable for me! Not so much the smut part, but when Rhys finds her in the cabin and they end up having a heart to heart, and Rhys tells her more about his history? It just made me feel so happy for them so I know what you mean about wanting them to get together!

‘but there are these attention deficit tendencies that love visiting me on a regular basis that just won't let me sit down, load a show and watch it till the end’

I don’t have it to that extent, but I know that on a smaller scale, I like having music or videos playing in the background while I work? Especially while doing more domestic work like the washing up, changing my sheets, generally tidying etc. it makes the process so much easier, and I won’t get bored of the work or feel guilty for relaxing during ‘work hours’ on weekends

‘I've been meaning to watch it for the past 8 years or so and I just got around to it.’

8 YEARS?? 🫢

Well done for keeping up the determination to actually watch it! 🎉

‘Thank YOU for actually taking out the time to read it AND reply to it, in such detail at that.’

I honestly cannot explain how much I love getting to speak with you. Genuinely, it’s so wonderful being able to interact with other people who like acotar and especially getting to discuss and debate different elements of the story has got to be one of my favourite things about fandom 🫂🧡💛

‘we all love you, Tabby.’

My eyes are prickling for some reason ☹️

Thank you for writing in and taking the time to read through the fics on here ☹️🫂🧡💛

#🫀 anon <3 #🫀 #cbmthy #tamlin

[bookishfeylin]

hello! I came here to say that I really appreciate your analyzes and how you make it very clear the breakdown of the romanticization of abuse that happens in Acotar.

(I needed a translator's help to write this, so I hope it's not too bad to understand. 😅)

Everywhere I look, I see very committed IC fans who won't even consider the arguments anyone brings if it's not praise for the favs. Honestly, it just makes me want to believe that it's a pretty superfluous and irrational admiration these people have.

Sometimes all I want to say is, “OK, if you want to like this character so bad, like him then, but be honest with yourself about his actions, ALL OF THEM, not the ones you choose because you think they're cute or because they're convenient to fuel your excuses. Don't make excuses for it."

This whole effort to defend these characters by saying that they don't do bad things or that the things that "seem" bad are justified because they are too good for it says enough to me. Accepting the fact that maybe the character you admire so much is actually not really good would be like failing the illusion they end up creating of a wonderful and perfect character, which they apparently cannot admit.

I'm not a hypocrite, there are a few things I've come to realize about some of the actions of some of the characters in Acotar were actually bad after some reflection on it. Sarah's writing showing Feyre's very influential point of view helps a lot to confuse the nature of some actions, I came to this conclusion after reading the saga for the third time, just to be sure.

I feel like I can never say enough about how Feyre's point of view (which romanticizes many actions) also played into the villainization of Nesta in this story, the suddenly so fantastical view of Rhysand, the normalization of how the Night Court works (seriously, how can someone find the way this court works cool just because most of the time we only see the “beautiful” part of it because is just what Feyre only came to see?) and many other things.

How can everyone watching Feyre plot to overthrow the Spring Court, full of innocent people, just for personal revenge on Tamlin? No one will hear me say that Tamlin didn't deserve Feyre's anger, but that doesn't include involving other people who have nothing to do with it. For example, my own personal experience lets me know very well what it's like to be someone who lives in a country led by someone I don't trust at all precisely because I know they have completely wrong ideals. For a few years my country was led by someone very bad and that left traumas in trust and in the way of a population live. Fortunately in my country there is a new leader and I already knew that things would get better, but I was left with a lot of confidence issues regarding the future of the country and the population even so, especially fearful about the amount of power a leader has and what can do with that, just keep in my mind the consequences that we have suffered until today because of the previous administration. All this I'm saying to argue about how perhaps the Spring Court faeries must have felt about this whole situation, the things Feyre had manipulated them into believing, after they had spent many, many years being ravaged by Amarantha's people and her curse. My opinion of Feyre lowered a lot after that action, especially since I don't even remember her having a second thought about it and showing any regrets for the consequences of her actions.

And that was yet another argument to be used against Rhysand as well. HE knew much better than Feyre about the implications of it all, and he loved that she did it anyway (and I can't get it out of my mind that she only does things because HE ALLOWS IT, and most readers gladly drink that sweet illusion of freedom and power that she apparently has. I can't help but think that it's Rhysand who offers the options for her to choose from, so he can offer all that are convenient for him in the end).

Dude, honestly, do any faeries act up to the big amount of time they've lived and all the experience they're supposed to have? I'm not even going to really start talking about Rhys (the real protagonist on my view) and all the points I'd like to make about him, including Sarah's awful approach to the very burden she placed on his character (both his actions before, during UTM and after, even as well his traumas), it's too much and I wasn't even planning to write that much.

After all, my plans were just to come here to tell you that I share many of your opinions and appreciate your analysis. Thanks so much for sharing them. I know it must be difficult to fight against the current (I feel like it is, since the vast majority still think everything is very fantastic in the most dubious parts of this saga).

(Many things are not mentioned here and I would like to do that one of these days, when possible. If so, more specifically cite each thing, like when I expressed my unhappiness about what happened to the Spring Court. I feel that would be a very interesting conversation to have with you. Anyway, I leave here a hug and show you once again my gratitude for sharing your thoughts with us <3)

Hi anon!

I agree with so many of your points here, and it’s truly crazy to me how few people outside of this little nook of the fandom notice or care about any of these things. But yes, by far the most insidious part of the endless defense of these characters is the treatment of her toppling the Spring Court, for reasons you already mentioned. I’ve talked about it both here and on Ao3, but her toppling the Spring Court REEKS of imperialism. The glorification of white people running around toppling governments is something that rubs me the wrong way and I’m glad I’m not the only one. A lot of people know that I actually really connected with Feyre in the first book and that I’m truly a Feyre girlie at heart but… yeah. This plotline was white girlboss feminism through and through and I’ll never be over the lengths fandom goes to to excuse it.

At any rate, thank you so much for the ask! And you are more than welcome to come back to my inbox again if you have more you’d like to talk about 🥰

#ask #anon #SJM critical #anti acomaf #Anti sjm #anti acotar #Spring court discourse