#but not Too dismissively

[stuckinapril]

lived my whole life in guilt bc i thought i was responsible for people's feelings. newly realizing that other people are responsible for their feelings and reactions, even if they make it seem like i'm the problem. a lot of the time it really has to do w them and their own emotional regulation. i can't keep thinking i'm not allowed to have space bc of other people's insecurities. like i literally refuse to dim myself. other people are responsible for their feelings just as i'm responsible for mine.

#like i'm always gonna operate from a place of kindness but i've had to deal w so many people who're bad at communication/confrontation #which led me to think i'm the problem #that i deserve to be given the silent treatment or dismissed disregarded belittled etc #that's j not true. i'm far from perfect but i think so few people deserve that kind of reaction. and my biggest revelation is i do not #even if people want to make me think i do / that their reaction is justified / that i'm a burden etc #my biggest problem is i humor people like this for too long bc it's been normalized behavior to me #does this make any sense to anyone. it's the end of the year and i'm reflecting on so many things #p

[inkskinned]

you were raised in comparison.

it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.

you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.

you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.

what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.

it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.

you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.

you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?

a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.

you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.

it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.

something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.

#writeblr #warm up #my dad was actively doing bad shit to us and we STILL were told we were lucky . and to a point i do think im lucky #i just think also there's somethin to be said about like. how about we stop using comparison to dismiss ppls individual struggles #yes there are people who have no perspective. for the reference tho having perspective actually made me really unwilling to get help #for what was a serious and debilitating mental health issue. bc i thought i didnt DESERVE IT #and i would rather have 600 ppl who aren't THAT bad get help and get heard and get seen #than make any 1 kid. do the math that i did: look at the world that is dying and the people who are hurting and say #''oh. okay. others have it worse. they are probably better people than i am. i am being unreasonable. i cannot ask for help #i am not good. i am taking too much space. i am not worth saving.'' #bc our WHOLE lives we are taught a scarcity mindset - that you can 'steal' from someone. so that instead of changing a system that doesn't #actually offer fair support to everyone #we put the impetus on the individual to just... demand less. #and here's something - there are probably ppl who think i DIDNT deserve to get help #bc i DID have it better than other people #and something about that is ... so sickening. bc i think all of us in some way at some point WILL need help. #we were supposed to make communities. we were supposed to offer our hands. we were supposed to raise the barn #instead we said: it could be worse. now handle it yourself

[dathen]

“It is a sacrilege, a crime, a villainy to hold that such a marriage is binding. I say that these monstrous laws of yours will bring a curse upon the land—Heaven will not let such wickedness endure.”

Tbh I don’t think Arthur Conan Doyle gets enough credit for featuring domestic abuse survivors in his works, to the point of overlooking or justifying murder, in a time when it was seen as a Private Matter that outsiders shouldn’t be nosey about. Giving voice to a woman to call out the lack of a woman’s rights to be freed from an abusive marriage is a pretty big deal, and Holmes validating and supporting it each and every time is a purposeful authorial choice.

Others have posted about how it’s very likely that, as a doctor, ACD would be privy to all sorts of ugly secrets from “those isolated country manors” as described in The Copper Beeches—but even if he weren’t, there’s certainly a statement being made via his stories.

#letters from watson #the abbey grange #ACD has his ugly sides too #but the near-comic level of hatred holmes fans have of him dismiss his role in why the stories are GOOD

[puppyeared]

happy valentines day <3 i wanted to do more, but sadly i only had enough time to complete these two

please also don't forget Rafah is under attack and urgently needs help. you can buy esims, check the BDS boycott list, click the daily donation button and email your representatives (USA).

there will also be a global strike february 18 - 24.

#the proceeds from the daily button goes to UNRWA but id also recommend palestine childrens relief fund & red crescent #theyre doing on the ground work but i havent heard if theyre able to reach people in Rafah so ive linked other resources for now #im also trying to see if i can make time to do drawings for esims since i cant send money myself #i have my reading week in 2 weeks so i can try to do as much as i can while managing school and energy levels #im really sorry to put this on my valentines day post but it feels too dismissive to leave it on its own post where it wont be seen #my art #myart #my oc #oc #valentines day #sleight #augusta #fur #furry #furry art #doodles #sona #puppysona #palestine #free palestine #bright colors #cw bright colors #eyestrain #cw eyestrain #eye strain

[nando161mando]

#homeless #homeless people in edinburgh offered beds 250 miles away weeks after city declares housing emergency #homeless people #rent is theft #rent is too damn high #landlords are parasites #fuck landlords #landlords are scum #landlords are leeches #landlords are bastards #i’m a housing lawyer – landlords use new loophole to push out tenants in ‘bad faith’ evictions #landlords #i took my landlord to court over common rental problem that made my life hell and won $14 #court dismisses assault on landlord and son who threw student out in his ‘jocks’ after no rent paid #we had to flee our home as it was invaded by mice &amp; bedbugs – inspectors said it’s ‘deplorable’ but landlord won’t act #landlord #rental #rent #auspol #politas #ausgov #tasgov #taspol #australia #fuck neoliberals #neoliberal capitalism #anthony albanese #albanese government #eat the rich #eat the fucking rich

[gayforbagels]

Pouring one out for Afghanistan and Anguilla and Antigua and Aoteoroa and Barbuda and Australia and the Bahamas and Bahrain and Bangladesh and Barbados and Belize and Bermuda and Botswana and Brazil and Brunei and Canada and the Cayman Islands and Cornwall and Cyprus and Dominica and Egypt and the Islas Malvinas and Fiji and Gambia and Georgia (the country) and Ghana and Gibraltar and Grenada and Guyana and Hong Kong and India and Iraq and Ireland and Jamaica and Jordan and Kenya and Kiribati and Kuwait and Lesotho and Malawi and Malaysia and Maldives and Malta and Mauritius and Montserrat and Myanmar and Nauru and Nigeria and Pakistan and Palestine and the Pitcairn Islands and Qatar and St Lucia and Saint Kitts and Nevis and Saint Helena and Ascension and Tristan da Cunha and St Vincent and Grenadina and Scotland and Seychelles and Sierra Leone and Singapore and the Solomon islands and Somaliland and South Africa and Sri Lanka and Sudan and Swaziland and Tanzania and Tonga and Trinidad and Tobago and Turks and Caicos and Tuvalu and Uganda and United Arab Emirates and United States and Vanuatu and Wales and Yemen and Zambia and Zimbabwe tonight

#text #op #dancing crabs #and many more #sorry if I missed you trust me when I say I am still popping the FATTEST bottle for u TONIGHT #edit: guys I copy pasted a shit ton of countries from fucking Wikipedia for a shitpost it’s not that deep #edit: the amount of y’all that are tagging this as ‘except us and Canada’ are missing the fucking point #it isn’t cute lol #EDIT: WHATS UP GUYS IT’S ME YA BOY COMING LIVE FROM. GLASS ONE OF WINE #I CHANGED MY MIND FUCK IT IM ADDING EVERYONE I MISSED INTO THE OP #AND ANOTHER THING #SOME OF YALL HAVE TO REMEMBER THERE ARE INDIGENOUS PEOPLE IN CANADA AND THE USA TOO #SAYING THE USA AND CANADA DOESNT DESERVE TO POP BOTTLES IS DISMISSIVE OF EVERY INDIGENOUS LIFE DAMAGED BY THE BRITISH EMPIRE #AUSTRALIA TOO #THE MONARCHY HAD A VERY PROMINENT ROLE ALONGSIDE THE CATHOLIC CHURCH IN RESIDENTIAL SCHOOLS AND COLONIAL VIOLENCE #IN SETTLER HISTORY #ALSO TO ANY OF MY BRITISH HOMOES I AM SO SORRY YALL HAVE TO GO THROUGH THAT PROPAGANDA MACHINE RN #GFGFGFFGGG I’m not changing that

[bitimdrake]

now that I think about it, the funniest part of post-crisis Tim and Jason isn't just that Tim thinks Jason is a cringe loser. It's that this must be the first time that Tim Drake, single most cringe boy in the entire DCU, has gotten to be on the other side of it. And the guy he's calling cringe is a 6 foot, 250lb crime boss who can and will beat his ass.

#* #*dc #dc #tim drake #jason todd #sorry but every time tim is SO dismissive and annoyed about jason after he comes back it is hysterical #you almost killed that boy four times and you still can get any respect from him #he's a bougie white boy who says oop and thinks weed is evil #and YOU are the one guy he had decided is too cringe to put up with #jason is the most serious and dramatic and tragic character everywhere else #and then he goes to tim.... #10to2 #10to3

[monsterqueers]

Im just really annoyed about how people just fucking hate it when the kids they were jealous of and hated in school for not also getting bad grades also report being fucking traumatized by the school system.

Yeah sorry school traumatizes everyone, even the 'ex-gifted kids' you fucking hate because god forbid someone wasnt exploited and overworked the same way you were.

Sorry a group of predominately neurodiverse people experiencing burnout and how their upbringing of being only valued for their academic performance totally fucked their ability to function in the real world dare talk about this pain where you can see.

Its not being privileged and ~humblebragging~ to report emotional neglect from your parents centered around you having to get perfect grades to receive any scrap of love.

Wishing violence on them for talking about it and finding each other isn't cute either.

And because these people need it stated extra clear

This post is NOT saying other groups of people 'had it less bad'. This is about a specific phenomenon of vitriol towards a oft neurodiverse group of people commiserating about how they were screwed over by the system under the label 'gifted kid' NOT whatever else you are imagining im saying. <3

#clown on this post and get blocked #dismissing abuse reports because you think the people being screwed over by the system differently threaten you somehow is wrong sorry <3 #rebloggable but if it breaches containment too hard I might lock it to avoid the piss on the poor crowd #these ppl do not realize part of the point of 'ex gifted kid' is the fact that the label WAS bunk & was just used as an excuse to abuse us! #thats literally half of the talk & theory! We were just normal kids!!! Thats the fucking point!! Its not being elitist its the opposite!! #blocked and unfollowed 3 different people for threats of violence towards anyone who identifies with 'ex gifted kid' which inspired this

[aro-bird]

Okay, for aro awareness week, I need you all to start recognizing that:

NOT EVERYONE IN THE ARO COMMUNITY IS FROM THE UNITED STATES OR EUROPE.

Please, when we're having discussions about aphobia, allonormativity amatonormativity, and other issues for the love of god STOP PRETENDING THAT WE DON'T EXIST AND LISTEN TO US!

We aren't just your token aros that exist in the other side of the world just for you to prove that we are everywhere or whatever point you're trying to make, we are living, breathing human beings and members of the aro community and we deserve respect and to be remembered not as a point in your discourse but as equals.

I am sick and tired of people just assuming that everyone in the community is either from the United States or Europe and only centering those voices in the discussion. We exist too.

#mayaposts #aro #aromatic #aro awareness week #aromantic awareness week #aro awareness week 2024 #aroallo #aroace #arospec #filipino aro #asian aro #poc aro #sorry this came about after someone replied to me saying that not everyone can afford necessities with one income and that rent is too #expensive these days with ''just move to less expensive cities like amsterdam or london and get a full time job'' and it PISSED ME OFF #mind you it was a discussion on why aroaces (who may not have partners or roommates) struggle in today's economy #the other person was not only dismissive of the op who was explaining the frustrations of needing to work multiple jobs to stay afloat #but also trying to just dismiss the struggles of single income people (in this case non-partnering aroaces) #and the implication that we should just ''move out of london and amsterdam and get a full time job'' to be able to afford rent #is such a privileged european/american take #sorry im ranting now lol im just peeved off #i dont even know if the other person was aroace at all tbh but whatever

[hylialeia]

everyone who doesn't include the full quote when mocking GRRM's "what was Aragorn's tax policy" rhetorical question owes me $200

#we as a society need to move past this 'lotr is above criticism' mindset #'grrm totally missed the point of lotr!!' no YOU missed the point of that quote and also asoiaf #how does no one include the 'what did they do with the rest of the orcs? did they kill the little baby ones too?' part? #the point isn't dismissive of tolkien it's critical of modern fantasy's tendency to avoid these questions #and opt instead for a black and white conflict that doesn't examine the humanity on either side #grrm has gone on about how he admires tolkien. taking a quote that expresses his desire for fantasy to expand and explore #and claiming it's some sort of faux intellectualism just because it makes you uncomfortable #is incredibly small minded and harmful actually and I'm sick of pretending it's not #asoiaf

[reasonsforhope]

Hey adults: Why do you like being an adult? What do you like about your life?

A couple weeks ago I told the kids at my work that "Being an adult is pretty nice, actually," and they looked shocked, laughed incredulously, and told me I was the first person they'd ever heard say that

So clearly we adults need to talk about this way more often

The past few years have been hard for a lot of people, me included. Covid sucked. I lost three relatives and three pets in one year. Right after lockdown ended, I got badly injured, and ended up housebound for six months and (much more) disabled for two years, and that sucked too.

And you know what? Literally all of that was easier and better than being a teenager.

I like being an adult. I like my life. Even when it's hard, it's mine, and I am building to the best of my ability the a life that I want to live.

I talked about a lot of why being an adult is something worth looking forward to in my last post, so right now I'll simply say this:

I love actually knowing who I am now. I love that I learned and am learning what I want and need. I love that I have independence and autonomy and don't get treated like a kid. I love the fact that I'm the one who gets to decide want I want to do and what I need. I also love that I'm learning to sew. I love that I've had pet rats, and next will have a pet cat. I love that I got top surgery. I love the way I've decorated my room. I love traveling to visit and crash and even just hang out and do work with my friends, when I can. I love that I started reading good news every day, and that I actually have hope for the future, and that I started this blog and have been able to help give so many other people hope, too.

So, here's a call to action for my fellow adults: comment or reply or tag what you like about being an adult. What you love about your life.

Let's give some kids some reasons for hope.

#hope #not news #life #life advice #growing up #teenagers #adulthood #adulting #hopepunk #hope posting #hopeposting #also feel free to put your age to help make things feel more concrete and real #and make it clear that “being an adult is good” isn't just limited to your early twenties #in fact it's often better after your early twenties #I'm around 30 personally #I hope this post sounds poetic rather than pretentious lol #that last bit in particular had me going “hmm is this too much” #but actually I think that we dismiss hope and happiness too often #hope deserves to not always have to be serious but I think hope also deserves all the seriousness and gravitas that we can give it

[hazel2468]

"UWU op defends Israel UWU"-

Have I not made it clear enough what I think of the Israeli government? Have I not made it clear enough that what infuriates me the MOST about all of this shit going on is that neither government gives a damn and civilians will CONTINUE to die because Hamas and Netanyahu are cranking that war machine for their own benefit? Have I not made it clear that I think what the Israeli government is doing is fucking horrific, a war crime, murder, a violation of human rights?

Why do I even need to MAKE that clear? Why is it that you can talk about LITERALLY anything else, any other country, and people don't rush to fucking accuse you of personally supporting the government when you discuss the wrongs committed against a people, but the SECOND you're a Jew you have to justify your stance about Israel?

Why is it that I cannot even be angry about the slaughter of MY FUCKING PEOPLE. Innocents. Civilians. Fucking CHILDREN. The slaughter of the Palestinian people. Innocents. Civilians. FUCKING CHILDREN.

Without one of you absolute fucking monsters deciding to slap some shit on an unrelated post about how "uwu op defends an apartheid state just ignore that"? Do you have to make it part of EVERYTHING I do? Do you consider everything I put out there tainted somehow because I don't support your joy, your cheering, your unrestrained GLEE at the murder of Jews? Do I need to publish a fucking thesis on my stance on Israel, Palestine, and their respective governments like a fucking disclaimer any time I want to talk about myself, my oppression, my experience as a Jew, or a disabled person, or a queer person, because you fuckers cannot for five seconds be NORMAL about Jews?

To decide to slap something about Israel and Palestine on a post I made about MY oppression, about how people will oppress you no matter who you actually are- it all depends who they think you are. It's a bit ironic, isn't it? Doesn't QUITE fit, but it's funny that someone would read that post, agree with it, and then think "Ah yes, THIS is the place to put some tags about how OP, a Jew who has been reeling for the last couple of weeks about the violence, who has been checking on their Israeli friends every day to make sure they aren't fucking dead, who is dealing with vicious antisemitism from people who they thought were friends, who watched as the people claiming to be progressive supporters of human rights on this hellsite and others OVERWHELMINGLY reply to the murder of their people with good they deserved it fuck you, is CLEARLY a defender of an apartheid state and that makes them a bad person because something something I don't know what nuance tastes like and I am a bigoted ass."

I am TIRED.

#antisemitism #i/p #seriously I am exhausted #fuck all of you #I can count on my hands how many people have actually been supportive and kind to me #I have LOST count of how many people #both online and IRL #have either been dismissive and cold #or outright HAPPY that Jews died and will continue to die #I have lost count of how many people here I thought were decent human beings #who I had to block because they responded with a resounding GOOD to what hamas did #and now you fucking antisemitic fucks are dragging this shit onto unrelated posts #and that's nothing NEW you've always been like this #but it is especially exhausting now #the fact that this shit is coming from like #other Americans too? #are you fucking KIDDING ME? #You LIVE here and you don't control everything the fucking government does #but oh every Israeli civilian is responsible and they deserve to be killed #just call me a kike and go instead of doing that shit #at least the Nazis are direct about how much they want me dead #although frankly I'm having trouble telling the difference these days #between you leftist fucks and the Nazis

[uselessnbee]

i will always be a firm believer that this was Mike's oh no i like him moment

and that's why he immediately went after El because he likes her too right? she's cute and really pretty, she's cool she has powers and saved their lifes so many times already! and he really cares for her and missed her this year and it's like Nancy and Lucas said he must have a crush on her! that must be it. so maybe if he focuses on her these feelings for Will (whatever those feelings might be) will go away and he can be normal right?

and this was his oh fuck i'm in love with him and it won't just go away but it's too late now moment

#byler #mike wheeler #will byers #this is just my personal opinion of course #but i do believe that at the end of s2 when he watched Will dance with a girl #he felt something and there was this little voice in his head telling him it's because he likes Will #but he tried to dismiss it and thought he likes El too so he thought if he'll focus on her #then those feelings for Will will go away that's why he tried to spend every moment in s3 with El #and tried to push Will away (until Will was in danger) #but at the end if s3 he realised that no it's not just a crush that will go away if he's going to be with El #but he's truly in love with Will and there's nothing he can do about it but he lost him now again and it's his fault and and #and yeah i'm sad now

[jicklet]

Elemental (2023)

#elemental #pixar #elemental movie #ember x wade #animationedit #pixaredit #filmedit #elementaledit #v posts things #v watches elemental #almost forgot this one in my drafts oops #writing the alttext captions is fun because I really get to focus on what they're doing #Wade is really Listening to her #because look at his face. he disagrees with what she's saying #but he doesn't just push back or brush her off #he clearly doesn't think there's anything special about what he does but he doesn't make it about him #it's a subtle difference but i like that he doesn't go like Oh pfft that was nothing and anyway don't feel bad about getting angry #because clearly she admires Something about what he's doing so he doesn't just dismiss it (dismiss her) #and what you're worried about hey sometimes I do that too and here's how i've come to think about it #but it's not like he knows he has the answer either so when she's still huffy and in her head he doesn't push back #Ember is so gd relatable god i love her #she's worked herself up and isn't ready to be reasoned with #but you know the next time she loses her temper that comment's going to pop back up #on animation note i'm still not over Wade's hair IT'S SO COOL #in the 3rd to last gif when he tosses his head and there's the extra strong crash #mwah. beautiful

[staliaqueen]

Mal's Avatar: The Last Airbender rewatch: The Fortuneteller 1.14

#atlarewatch #avatar the last airbender #atla #sokka #gifs #avatarthelastairbenderedit #atlaedit #sokkaedit #useramys12 #tusersimone #userthing #THIS EPISODE IS SO FUCKING UNDERRATED #PEOPLE DISMISS IT AS ONE OF SEASON ONE'S WEAK ONES BUT IT'S SO GOOD I DON'T CARE IF IT DOESN'T MOVE THE MAIN PLOT FORWARD #THE RELIGIOUS COMMENTARY GUYS!!! #NOT TO MENTION HOW FUNNY IT IS #I LEGIT THINK IT'S THE SECOND FUNNIEST EPISODE AFTER THE EMBER ISLAND PLAYERS #Y'ALL HAVE BEEN SLEEPING ON THE FORETUNETELLER FOR TOO LONG 😤😤 #this is gonna be the one episode i make two gifsets for #this one is for jo (the second one is gonna be for me) #sokka is my fav ship for jo okay #i just think they'd be great together 🥰

[hearts4juzi]

Tessa fucks me up dude can I just talk about her for a sec? Yeah? Yeah.

She loved those drones. She loved them because they were what she had. She felt sympathy for them when nobody else did. And I like to think there was a little bit of loneliness motivating her as well.

Her mother hated her. She was nothing to her. When her mother scolded her by saying "seems you still can't follow simple orders" her respone was "No, no no! Please!" BEGGING. Begging her mother to believe in her and be kind to her. She got chained up in her room (multiple times btw. At leas tthats implied. the hand she winced at and rubbed is the same hand the chain was on, which means shed be chained up long enough for it to rub her skin painfully. long enough to leave lasting pain.)

She is very connected to these drones, to the point where she kept all the error drones aroud because she LOVED them. She spent time digging them up. HELL SHE TOOK A FAMILY PHOTO WITH THEM DUDE...

Even when Cyn was creepy and scary, she kept her around. She'd rather lock Cyn up than get rid of her. and when n points it out, shes apologetic and hesitant. But we know WHY she did that. Even if it was kind of a sucky move, it was because she didnt wanna have to throw cyn out. and in the end that killed her.

Also she knows J well enough to know what sets her off (enough to. bite the shit out of a chain). She knows them. and she loves them.

I wish we'd gotten to know more about her an N. why is he so clearly her favorite? but thats not relevant ig

also her saying "I've only ever yakked to robots, J!" She has NO human friends. she has nobody to support her other than these robots. these robots who get treated like garbage by her family.

and then she has to watch these robots turn on her. Not just THESE ROBOTS but the three that she loved most. (also im going off what wouldve happened in ep 5 WITHOUT uzi, where n doesnt get out of the swamp, and nobody goes down to the basement)

V first, then Cyn, then J. And we KNOW she loved these three+N especially bc she took a family photo w them, interacted with them more often, and generally just seemed much closer with them.

and what does she get for it? killed. And also its implied by this screenshot that she wasnt ACTUALLY killed by cyn right then

(the scientists, the sword beside her, the footprints, the way shes sitting against the wall, the expression she has. she totally just saw all that shit)

and she cant have been skyn bc the scientists wouldve known. the skinsuit wasnt exactly. hm. pretty.

which means she DID see her whole family+more slaughtered in front of her while she was powerless to stop it. She DID see J violently kill everyone around her. She DID see Cyn kill everyone. And she just has to. Deal with that. And despite all her efforts, the solver took over and cyn killed her. (im assuming tessa died somewhere around when n's mineshaft flashback was like i mentioned b4)

and all the while she was convinced shed lose N, id assume. based on the state of the other drone out there.

And honestly, i think what she got was worse.

also i am team "N knew Tessa wasn't the same Tessa he knew back on Earth"

The way he looked at her, and the way he was suspicious of her. He knew HIS Tessa would never treat a drone like this. Cyn has been known to have relatively shitty recreations of people at times (like Thad in episode two) But even so there was no way he could believe it was someone else (like. who would it be? he saw her blood he heard her voice like...) which is why he was so stressed after killing her (when he leaned on his sword and was breathing heavy, yk?)

he loved her and she loved him and now shes dead. just like everyone else he loved.

this isnt about n but like. idk if tessa could see him now i think shed cry. she loved him and all of them

#tzu rambles #i just. she was a kid dude #she was a stupid hurting abused kid #she was treated like shit by her mother and probably her father too #and all she had were those drones #the ones that killed her and her family #the ones that ruined her life and destroyed earth #the ones that MIMICKED HER TO THE PEOPLE SHE LOVED MOST #THE “N!!!” SQUEAL. THE PETTING HIS HAIR. THE DISMISSAL OF J #FUCKING SICK AND TWISTED #Bc i genuinely believe that if Tessa HAD come to copper 9 alive she wouldve been like that #maybe a little more sympathetic to uzi. like if she knew abt the patch she wouldve used it. i know that #but otherwise i think shed be like that. silly. silly like that. #(esp kicking that computer monitor. we all saw her chuck a glass at the floor for no reason) #child abuse #abuse tw #tessa james elliot #murder drones #tessa elliot #tessa md #md tessa #tessa murder drones #murder drones tessa