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painted-starlight · 3 years

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Frozen: Love As Transactional and Contradictory Themes

Warning: LONG POST, Anti-Frozen, Anti-Kristan//na, Anti-Agdu//na, swearing, discussion of colonialism

Tl;dr/Summary: The romantic pairings of Frozen, which are meant to drive the theme of unconditional love appear less romantic and more transactional. Love is something that is owed if you do nice stuff for the person you love.

The romances feel convenient for male characters and give them what they want at the expense of Anna and Iduna’s agency or against their best interests. This convenience isn’t even beneficial in the long run for either party, because it actually hinders the male character’s growth by making them the lesser of two evils rather than good characters with likable personalities of their own.

Both Kristoff and Agnarr are meant to be ideal love interests, but they are very underdeveloped despite the former being Anna’s true love and the latter being the center of Iduna’s character motivation.

Introduction

Frozen’s interesting in the sense that I completely understand what it’s trying to do, but that doesn’t mean it does it well.

The story itself is constantly contradicting itself an it’s own themes. The theme of Frozen is that love should come with no strings. Unconditional love is the right way to love someone, either romantically and platonically. Iduna and Agnarr’s love for Elsa came with strings while Anna’s didn’t. Which is why Anna’s act of love was the cure, while Elsa suffered under them.

Kristoff appeared to have a conditional relationship with Anna but then it turned unconditional, while Hans’s love appeared unconditional but in the end was conditional.

However, upon examining Frozen and it’s sequel, it’s themes become...muddled at best and hypocritical at worst. Especially when it comes to it’s romantic pairings.

Kristoff and Anna, as well as Iduna and Agnarr are one of the biggest issues that threaten to undermine the very themes of Frozen and it’s views on unconditional love. Note that I think it’s views on platonic unconditional love are...OK to an extent (at least in the first film), but it’s romantic pairings are just plain awful.

Kristoff/Anna: The Transactional and the Unconditional

My huge problem with Kristoff and Anna’s relationship is that it feels like the story (through Olaf) pressures her into returning Kristoff’s sudden feelings for her just because he helped her. Their relationship was already very transactional and it really felt like they couldn’t stand each other for a majority of the movie.

Kristoff goes from hating her spontaneity (”You don’t tell Sven what to do!” while throwing her on Sven) to suddenly loving this side of her on the flip of a coin. I could pinpoint the scene too, when she jumps into his arms after failing to scale the mountain by hand. Her incompetency is played for comedy while he watches her. Then, like a switch, he likes her. Seriously, when did he start liking that side of her?

And Anna doesn’t even appear to feel that way towards Krisotff until Olaf basically tells her Kristoff did all that nice stuff for her, so the implication is that she HAS to return his feelings. If she weren’t dying at that very moment, I don’t think that would be an option for her.

They Helped You, You Owe Them!

This theme of “they saved your life, you owe them!” also applies to Iduna and Agnarr, no matter whether or not the latter remembers this because it’s a narrative implication. The person who sacrifices their life for you or does nice stuff for you, should be your true love/or platonically they love you without strings. But only if they have no ill intentions.

As if people in general are somehow mind readers who can tell when people are fooling them. As Hans character proves, this is a very faulty line of thinking. You shouldn’t owe someone love because they do nice stuff for you, and you might never know what someone’s motivations are until it’s too late.

It feels like this notion of romance is very skewed in favor of what the story wants. Iduna can give away the only life she knew for someone she just met, but not Anna. Iduna is portrayed as selfless because she did it for Agnarr, while Anna is selfish because she did it for herself, a child neglect and in a lonely environment.

Convenience for Male Love Interests To Their Detriment and The Preservation of “Good” Royalty

I find it strange that Frozen and Frozen 2 seem to be centered on what’s the most convenient for male love interests, regardless of whether or not they are fully rounded or compelling.

And this doesn’t even mean that it’s to their benefit, but to their convenience because it actually does way more damage to be given things by the story rather than making them fully fleshed out characters.

Kristoff’s Convenience Destroyed His Character

Kristoff likes Anna, so the story is twisted in a way that benefits him so he is the one Anna ends up with.

Consequently, because his story arc is considered done he is reduced to comedic relief to keep him relevant, even when he’s not needed. Both Kristoff and Agnarr are given superficial amounts of “background” through the barest minimum, but only because it is a means to an end to convey a point.

Kristoff and Anna go through the basic boyfriend introducing girlfriend to family, (even though she is already engaged to someone else) bit. They interact with Rock Trolls, have banter with them in a wasteful song. And he talks to his reindeer. These points are necessary within a modern dating context, but they do very little to provide a deeper insight into his character that would him a better option than Hans. Things like who he truly is as a person is stripped to what is needed by the story because we are already supposed to like him by virtue that he isn’t Hans.

In fact, because we know so little about him, his characterization can change on a whim from a gruff loner to perfect boyfriend who’s entire identity is “I’m Anna’s Fiancé, look at me do goofy things!” as demonstrated by Frozen Fever and Frozen 2. Frozen 2 actually tells on itself when they include lines like “Who am I if I’m not your (Anna’s) guy?” And that is a good question. Who is Kristoff without Anna? Who is he really?

And I know that the story uses Krist*nna as a way of perpetuating the idea of not diving into a relationship with someone you literally just met, but it’s obvious that Anna does EXACTLY that, just with someone the story approves of. She and Kristoff are making out within probably a day of the end of the movie.

You can’t tell me they let Hans and the Duke of Weasleton stay for weeks between their attempted assassination of royalty. Kristoff and Anna moved WAY too fast.

Agnarr’s Convenience and Position as “Good Royalty”

Like Kristoff, Agnarr’s position as the good successor to his idiot father Runeard, is considered essential to his characterization. Good, of course, being relative. He was “slightly less of a bastard,” and therefore, better.

But you can’t make a character by saying who they AREN’T. You need to show who they ARE. And saying “well, he could’ve been worse to Elsa” is no excuse. And Runeard in a league on his own, being the stupid dumbass he was.

Agnarr, by the definition of the story, needed to live so he could be the good king. And meant that Iduna had to sacrifice herself for his convenience.

Out of both parents, Agnarr is given the most screen time and dialogue. His convenience and inability to love Elsa correctly motivates him and Iduna to force her to conceal her powers. All the problems that arise in the story are due to him introducing the gloves to Elsa, and he and by extension Iduna are the basis on the conflict.

I say an extension because she almost a complete nonfactor of a character in the original Frozen movie. She is given maybe two lines, tops. She is still accountable, though, for the hot mess that is called Elsa’s upbringing.

But it’s also worth noting that the second movie expands her character and background. She is given more screen time, dialogue, and songs relating to her character. And it’s still very centered on her love for Agnarr, which is portrayed as a positive influence on her despite him being the main source of her leaving her community and keeping her identity as secret. It doesn’t really feel romantic when she basically has to live in fear to keep him on the throne.

Iduna and the Boy She Just Met

Iduna’s character is motivated to leave her people for a boy she just met. This goes against the very themes of Frozen, but not really upon closer inspection. It’s mostly about the convenience of “good” royalty, and he’s Agnarr so he’s special.

Not special enough to give him a fully rounded character, but special in the sense that he is considered a better alternative. As I’ve said before, his characterization is mostly based on the idea of him being the lesser of two evils.

His convenience is placed above Iduna’s safety. The questions of where she lived during her time in Arendelle, who took care of her, how she navigated this life as a child and still felt comfortable being with the person who is the prince of colonialistic nation is considered almost a nonfactor. It is meant to evoke sympathy, but not outrage at her circumstances that left her basically without a support network.

She is praised as sefless for saving Agnarr at the expense of herself. And she is rewarded with his love, which apparently totally worth losing so much.

Final Thoughts

I’m not really sure how Frozen will navigate it’s themes in future installments. However, without significant changes and a reevaluation of what it wants to say, it’s ultimate impact on audiences will leave them questioning if Frozen’s desire to convey unconditional love actually comes with strings attached.

#anti frozen

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ofsleights · 3 years

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✱ ╱ song joong ki + cis man + he / him / his ━ if you happen to find yourself stuck in tartarus, make sure you don't run into SHIN YO-HAN there. the THIRTY FIVE year old has made quite the reputation for themselves under their alias as HECATERUS, a CAPOREGIME OF DRUG DEALERS AND THIEVES for TITANS. while their enemies often describe them as doctrinaire and quarrelsome, their syndicate would say that they're highbrow and urbane. they DO NOT think that zane was murdered, but they'll be keeping that to themselves for now. ( the gentle click of italian leather shoes announcing his presence, dim lamp light illuminating his office at the early morning hours, dark hues dancing with curiosity and chaos, the windows of luxury vehicles kissed by heavy clouds of steam ).

hi again, everyone ! this took me ... forever to get together, and is probably filled with useless details, but i’m so excited to introduce yohan to everyone. once more, i’m kiva, twenty4, prefer either she / her or they / them pronouns, and i reside in the eastern tz ! also pls don’t roast my pinned JNVCNVC i have a prettier one in my drafts, but i’m saving it for when i bring my second chara hehe. that being said, ‘ yohan, you bastard ! ’ was filmed in front of a live studio audience. 😌

* 🃏 𝚂𝚃𝙰𝚃𝙸𝚂𝚃𝙸𝙲𝚂.

name : dr. shin yo-han. nicknames: went by sebastian during his school years, rarely called han. age + date of birth : 35 + june 10th, 1986. moral alignment : lawful evil. gender + pronouns : cis man + he / him / hims. place of birth : carnegie jill, new york. place of residence : tartarus, california. orientation : bisexual biromantic. occupation : caporegime professor of game theory. nationality : korean - american. ethnicity : korean. languages spoken : korean, english, japanese, and conversational spanish.

* 🃏 𝙱𝙸𝙾𝙶𝚁𝙰𝙿𝙷𝚈.

— when one hears the shin family name, they are aware of who they’re about encounter. made up of shin cho - hee and shin jin - hwan, the two were set up for life from the moments they were born, but that doesn’t mean that they didn’t know how to work to get more of what they already had. with the best colleges on their resumés and the amount of money in their bank accounts, it was only a matter of time for them to meet ( even if it was their parents who set up the meeting ).

— they turn out to be a match made in heaven as the couple are both ruthless and cunning, with desires to expand their families fortunes. cho - hee and jin - hwan marry in a lavish ceremony, and not even five years later, they’re moving to new york city to take their companies from strictly europe and asia based to the west. the company grows exponentially within a few short years, and during that time, they have their only child yo-han.

— yohan is a child that fell in line when he was supposed to and was clearly grateful of the life he was able to live. attending the trinity school in new york city, yohan was afforded the best education that money could buy, so it was no surprise that he graduated with high marks. the only downside that he faced was the lack of bonding time that he had with his parents ( as they were often too busy for him ), but when soccer games continuously got missed, dinners were often had alone, or field trip permission slip signatures were forged, yohan easily grasped that he was essentially on his own.

— college acceptances roll out, and yohan goes off to study economics at columbia university. an honors student, yohan does well as he’s expected to, and although they’ve missed most of his life, his parents are able to brag about having their child graduate from one of the ivies. academically, yohan appeases his parents, going on to study economics at stanford for his masters degree and princeton for his phd. during those years, yohan develops an interest in game theory. while he was good at beating anyone in a game of logic, yohan’s immense knowledge is what eventually gets him into trouble.

— while getting his masters, yohan began using said knowledge to start counting cards at casinos. he’ll lose a few hands here and there to make up for his big wins, but of course it doesn’t take long for him to start getting some . . . unwanted attention. forever able to get himself out of trouble with a bit of smooth talking, it works for a while until he gets the attention of the titans. if there was one thing about yohan, he may have been privileged since birth, but he was both book and street smart . . . maybe too much for his good. it was inevitable that yohan’s abilities to get what he wants while charming the pants off others works in his favor.

— by night, yohan was once a lowly thief himself, greedy fingers taking what was needed and executing flawless heists where they were in and out in record time. by day, he was soon a phd student which then turned into having a more . . . legitimate job as a professor of game theory at a local university. through those years of moonlighting, yohan moves up in the ranks, and has now taken over as capo of the drug dealers and thieves. ( this was bad i’m so sorry )

* 🃏 𝙷𝙴𝙰𝙳𝙲𝙰𝙽𝙾𝙽𝚂.

a piece of shit, i’ll be the first to admit it. he’s a one and done kind of man which makes him sound SO bad, but he’s just casual about a lot of things he does in a romantic light.

brash ! straightforward ! will tell you you’re stupid to your face in the form of : ‘ are you dumb ? ’ and he’s not asking.

since his godly alias is hecaterus, basically he’s just really good at sleight of hand ! which is why, it makes sense that he’s good at stealing lol. probably teaches the dealers a thing or two about how to do quick transactions and the like, and is good at well executed heists. five minutes or less is the goal.

at most he probably gets along with his cat the best 💀. the cat doesn’t even have a name they just vibe in his fancy apartment together.

well dressed . . . so well dressed he’ll make you cry ( JOKE ). but in all seriousness, he’s sharply dressed in well tailored suits or at least well tailored button downs and trousers at all times. hair is styled off off his forehead, only ever down at home. not much of a sneakers man unless working out.

probably has a therapist who can’t stand him because he doesn’t open up and answers questions with questions.

* 🃏 𝚆𝙰𝙽𝚃𝙴𝙳.

his heavenly companion. maybe this is kinda silly, but basically one of the strippers that he gets along v well with and idk, they vibe whenever he comes around. usually it’s just to hang out and get a drink or two, he’ll pay them well for literally five minutes of time lol bonus points if they spill him the beans about customers hehe.

damn . . . an ex ! i’m thinking they got really serious and were so into each other but then they could have found out what he does really or they’re from another syndicate so their breakup was really inevitable.

a best friend ! someone who calls him out on his shit and he does vice versa. they get along too well, almost bordering on the line of siblings. they probably bicker like siblings too.

friends with benefits kinda situation. simply put, they’re there for one another when they need to relieve some steam but they also get along really well. someone catching feelings . . . 👀.

crush ? idk, someone who might like him ( for whatever reason ) but it’s too damn oblivious to notice .

of course, connections from the titans ! positive, negative, neutral . . . hand it over ! and i’m down to fill any wanted connections where you could see yohan fitting but pls let’s plot i’ve waited long enough !

#tartarus.intro #i know nothing of casinos / gambling so don't come for me #KNVCJNXVHBCX #this took forever but let's plot friends pls i'll beg 🥺

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onceuponakdrama · 3 years

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The World of the Married KDrama Review

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Bingo Card for The World of the Married

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Synopsis: Ji Sun Woo is a family medicine doctor. She is married to Lee Tae Oh and they have a son. She seems to have everything, including a successful career and a happy family, but she is betrayed by her husband and others. Meanwhile, Lee Tae Oh dreams of becoming a famous movie director. He runs an entertainment business with the support of his wife Ji Sun Woo. Even though he loves his wife, Lee Tae Oh falls into a dangerous relationship.

TW: infidelity, attempted murder, suicide mentions, abusive relationships.

Overall Main Plot: Rating - 9 out of 10

Wow. Okay, so I have to clear up that I really like romantic comedy dramas better, but I gave this a shot because it was highly rated and I did not regret it. Like many other viewers, I was super invested in every episode because there was just twist after twist and it was the kind that was actually not expected (other than the mistress getting pregnant because I totally called that). It definitely felt like a thriller drama, especially as things got more and more tense between all the characters and how they were all pushing the plot. Just when you thought you were safe and knew what was going to happen—BAM, new plot device! I know this drama is surrounding the romance and the whole theme of infidelity, but it was so much deeper because it was focused on more than just the one relationship. It was about how these relationships overlap, class dynamics, and even a couple of notes about sexism when it comes to parenting and divorce. It was also about trust because Sunwoo’s trust was not broken between just her husband, but also her friends and there’s also the doctor-patient trust.... There is just so much happening and it feels so overdramatic, but it actually works. I guess what made it a 9 out of 10 rather than a 10 out of 10 is the fact that there were too many elements happening that if you missed something real quick, you might have actually missed a major part of it, but that’s just my opinion.

Characters: Rating - 8 out of 10

↣ Ji Sunwoo [played by Kim Hee-Ae]: y’all, the first thing I wanna say about Sunwoo is how bad I felt for her the entire time. She was just so fooled into thinking she had a perfect life, only to find out that her husband and her friends really just... hated her? Or, at least it felt like she was secretly hated amongst them. Not to mention the fact that Joon Young (her son) just felt more and more antagonistic towards her. While I understand how hard divorce is on a kid, the way he acted sometimes just felt lowkey misogynistic at times and I felt so bad for her. Not to mention that she kept going back to Tae Oh for no fucking reason. Well, I guess it’s just hard to break off ties when there are lingering feelings, but he’s tried to kill her! TWICE! Maybe, even thrice! I don’t know; her relationship with her family was the one thing that she wanted to protect but then it broke her in the end. One another thing that made me mad was also her relationship with that other doctor, Dr. Sul—that two-faced bitch needed to pick a side and she kept gossiping and... God, I hated that Sunwoo kept talking to her, like why. Overall, I just felt bad for her and how things played out; while she definitely handled things like a boss at times, there were moments that were too flawed for me about her character that I couldn’t overlook. I think I just really felt for her when she lost Joon Young (temporarily, but still) and, along that, herself and, her suicide attempt.... she really deserved so much better.

↣ Lee Tae Oh [played by Park Haejoon]: okay, real talk. I hated all the men in this goddamned drama, but Lee Tae-fucking-Oh takes the entire cake. I have never hated a man more in my entire life. He didn’t even get everything he deserved, which is nothing, and, after everything he and his families had been through, he never once formally apologized or even took the fault of the problems HE started. His character alone is enough her to deduct a point because he was the only one who did not develop. He never once reflected on the fact that he was the problem and all he had to do was apologize. AT THE END OH MYGOD THE AUDACITY. He literally was just so stubborn and was the ultimate downfall for everything that happened because he couldn’t keep it in his fucking pants.

↣ Yeo Da Kyung [played by Han Sohee]: I really hated her at first and I only really liked her at the end when she left Tae Oh with literally nothing. But, I started to go through the posts about this drama and... some good points were made. The most notable thing to me was the fact that she really was just a younger woman who was gaslit into thinking that this married man loved her. At the end, she realized that she was deluding herself into thinking that. It makes the viewers think about it too—the fact that she gave him a choice, but when Sunwoo left him, she thought he actually did divorce her when it was the other way around. I just wished she came to this realization earlier because we could have gotten some real epic scenes of Sunwoo and Da Kyung together. I think I really didn’t like her in the beginning because she really was just a spoiled rich girl (she still is at the end, but she’s just less gullible) who thought she owned the world because her father had so much power and her family had so much money and.... she was such a disrespectful and dumb girl. But, again, she is a younger woman who’s been sheltered and her development was really satisfying, especially when she rejected that one guy’s advance to focus on herself. There was a lot to hate about her until the very end, but it still feels satisfying to know that she wasn’t gonna let Tae Oh ruin her life completely.

↣ Lee Joon Young [played by Jeon Jin Seo]: he was also another annoying character I didn’t like either, until time went and he slowly grew to understand things better. He is a teenager after all and there was a lot that he did that he’ll definitely regret looking back on, but his response to his parents and their complicated their relationship was totally warranted. He’s just a confused kid and his parents weren’t going to explain anything to him—it wasn’t until he and Sunwoo had an honest and open conversation that they were able to determine what it was that they would do and all that other good stuff. In a way, he was a major part in the plot because all this plot built up to him running away from home at the end. His parents were the downfall of his mental state and he really needed to just get away from them, which also helped his parents realize that they need to get their shit together. I also felt really bad for him too, especially when Da Kyung accused him of hitting her daughter to getting hit by his dad to getting bullied at his school (and I highkey thought that fight at school was warranted because of all those kids talking shit about his mom, like.. mind your own business). There was so much happening to him all at once and his behavior, while infuriating to us as viewers, it felt very on par for a teenager who is going through these issues.

Personal Notes: I think what really made the characters great was how flawed they were and their development along the way. The ending was mostly satisfying for the most part, in which everyone kind of got what they deserved. Although, there were definitely some weird choices that made no sense and they kind of tried to reason it with all the emotions (like when Sunwoo bailed Tae-Oh out of jail... girl, leave him in jail to rot). I also did not predict Joon Young just flat out running away from home and it made me think about his parents: did Sunwoo and Tae Oh really learn their lesson? Are they going to change after he returns? I went through so many emotions with these characters and, those who developed, it felt satisfying to watch.

Romance: Rating - 7 out of 10

There was definitely chemistry between the three main characters. For romantic chemistry, there was a lot of it in both before the divorce and after the divorce. There was just so much push and pull from Tae Oh and Sunwoo and it was heartwarming (for a hot second) to see how they got together and decided to get married (you know, before he tried to make Da Kyung a copy of Sunwoo because he is obsessed). The biggest thing that put me off about this romance though is how toxic is. While that’s supposed to be main point of the drama, it just got me rolling my eyes because Sunwoo really needed to remove herself from this emotionally abusive relationship. It pushed her all the way to the edge—both causing her depression and her suicidal attempt. This drama made me distrust everyone because I wasn’t (and still not) sure of Dr. Kim (the psychiatrist). I was just pushing for self-love on both Sunwoo and Da Kyung’s parts because of how Tae Oh ruined these women. All of these romance relationships, while I was invested and the chemistry between them were present, I did not love them and root for them. I was screaming at my TV screen for them to get away from one another. The romance is the key in this drama, but it’s the ultimately downfall of the characters because of how it all broke apart so easily because the men in this drama are garbage.

Second Plot/B-Plot and Secondary Characters: Rating - 8 out of 10

I was actually really invested with the secondary plots, especially when it came to Hyun Seo and Ye Rim. They were in these situations that were similar to Sunwoo’s, but it was different in which one turned more dangerous and the other was more of a ‘what could have been’ had Sunwoo forgave Tae-Oh. I think these secondary plots were definitely interesting, especially in contrast to Sunwoo’s situation. I mentioned it earlier, but I was not interested in Dr. Sul, so I had no real interest in her becoming the associate director or whatever. Another side plot I didn’t care for was the whole issue with the women’s association. It was really unclear as to what they really did and it seemed to break apart after Sunwoo joined and quit, which followed by Yerim and Dr. Sul quitting. What I liked about this drama was the fact that the secondary plot could also overlap with the main plot because it’s all interconnected; it could also branch off into its own naturally because of the main characters and the damage they have caused onto the other characters.

Additional Notes:

Joon Young’s Development - while it took a bit, his character development felt the slowest and I just ended up feeling really bad for him because he just.... ran away from his problems. I really wished there was more communication between Joon Young and Sunwoo because then there would have been better outcomes for them and the whole family situation. There was that small moment and you could see how that was very positive towards their relationship, but then it all just fell apart and then he ended up running and then kind of coming back? It was just all bad writing and I just felt so bad for him.

Lee Tae Oh’s Demise - I mentioned it earlier but I hated him and watching him fall into pieces was so satisfying. I just wished he got nothing nothing in the end. In the end, it was more that he was broke and that was fine, but I kind of wanted him to be homeless because he really did not learn his lesson until he lost Joon Young. But the question still kind of remains though: did he really learn his lesson? I really wished that he did, but knowing the men in this drama, I don’t think he would have.

Social Commentary on Divorcees - I really liked the social commentaries on divorce and the double standards between men and women. There were so many married couples throughout this drama, but there seemed to be specific breaking points. But, even then, their breaking points might not have been divorce, but rather a complete break of trust within the marriage and things would not be the same. I just thought it was interesting to watch as things went down between each couple, whether they were apart of the main cast or not.

Overall Rating: 8 out of 10

Recommended?

↣ Yes: this is one of those overdramatic dramas that have so much going on, if you’re into that, this is a good drama for you. Because it’s also a thriller drama, there’s a lot of action included—there is a violence warning though, since this is a more *rated* drama. It also keeps you on the edge of your seat because there’s a lot happening with many twists and turns that come unexpectedly. There’s also a lot of character development, even though it takes a while, but it’s really satisfying to watch as the drama progresses. This is a drama that is really about rooting for the characters to grow on their own and build their independence further. There’s also many side stories, which do cross with the main storyline; it all aligns and still manages to be interesting.

↣ No: this is not a really romance centered drama—it’s more of indirect commentary about marriage and complications of divorce. If you wanted something with a couple to root for.... this is not it for you. Because there’s a lot going on, you have to pay close attention to details and if you wanted a less involved drama, this is not the right drama. This is also a very frustrating drama to watch because there’s so much happening, the development is very slow or very fast, and there’s also the fact that it’s about infidelity so there’s a lot of frustration between the main couple.

#the world of the married #a couple's world #kdrama review #kdrama recs #spoilers #mine

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hanadoesstuffbadly · 4 years

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‘Online’ ch I - RS&t7D University AU

Hello, I was looking for Red Shoes fanfiction when I discovered that there are little to no Modern AUs being written. So i figured, screw it, I’ll do it myself because I love modern AUs.

This is the first chapter and it is very long, so if you don’t feel like reading it, fair enough. I’m planning to write the whole thing anyway because I also love writing and it’s good practise.

Small warning if you do want to read this: Merlin is British. I am British. British people are very sarcastic and very moody all of the time. This entire first chapter is from Merlin’s perspective so there are a lot of British phrases and idioms used. If you are fortunate enough to not be an eternally grumpy Brit, don’t worry, the next chapter will be a very bad written impersonation of an American!!

Also, this is my first ever fanfiction so please don’t judge me too harshly, I am but a young peasant girl.

Sooooooooo.... Summary.

Merlin is a twenty year old student at Southend University. To combat his detrimental narcissism, his counsellor suggests online gaming. Merlin tries to cheat by using an ancient game called Fairytale Island, which designs your avatar to match a photograph. This plan falls apart when his laptop explodes, turning his avatar tiny and green. He ploughs on regardless, sure that he will encounter nobody. Little does he know, that a newly moved student from the States is coming online the very same night. :)

(It’s kinda switched so Merlin is the last of the F7 to get his attitude set right.)

With that done... I hope you don’t hate it!

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Merlin couldn’t stand mornings, especially Friday mornings. Because for the duration of his first year of Uni, Friday’s lessons had always begun at the reasonable hour of 2 o’clock in the afternoon. This left Merlin a good half hour to be awake, out of the door and on his bike, zipping past the crowded Southend beaches. In short, Merlin hated Friday mornings because he had not seen one in fifteen months. Needless to say, it was not a welcome reunion.

Approximately twelve minutes prior to commencing with today’s zipping -at the unlawful hour of nine in the morning- Merlin had been idly stirring shredded wheat into a depressing gruel (much to the disgust of the ever-vigilant, ever-attentive, red-haired cook,) basking in his own tardiness.

Had he asked for counselling? No.

Did he need counselling? None of their business.

Did he want to be dragged out of bed at half-eight by six overbearing housemates who apparently believed it was "necessary" or "overdue"; to be packed off to the Resource Centre so that they could “Evaluate any and all emotional or psychological issues which may have arisen for you, as a student whom we have identified as being at risk, before the beginning of this new academic term”? No, he did not!

Contrary to a promising forecast, the sky was a sapphire pool overhead. Thus, the fantasy of motorbiking down empty seafront roads, the brassy drumming of thunder and the gurgle of saltwater smothering his roaring engine (Hans called him a madcap but personally, Merlin preferred the term Raptor-trainer) was squashed. And given that a motorbike charging down the road in the wee hours of the morning was frowned upon, Merlin was forced to content himself with walking at a purposefully counter-productive pace to the bus stop down the hill. Stubbornly, he insisted on himself that he wore a cobalt-blue, long-sleeved shirt with grey trousers; dressing not for the weather he had, but the weather he wanted. This was a stupid idea and the sleeves were rolled up before he reached sea-level. He had to restrain himself from missing a bus entirely. It wasn’t crowded, because of course it wasn’t. Everyone else in Southend had better things to be doing.

Like sleeping.

The bus didn’t even go all the way to the college, stopping at least a dozen yards from the entrance like a noncommittal shrug. It took everything in Merlin to not keep his butt planted securely in his seat; let the busyness of British public transport whisk him away to the Leigh on Sea station; catch a train to Fenchurch street; disappear into Central London; never be seen or heard from again, especially by Dr- as a student whom we have identified as being at risk- LeFey; then inevitably die from water pollution at a ripe old age of thirty-five. It took everything in him, but he walked down to the building, through glass-doors ornamented by a million sweaty fingerprints, and into a waiting room that smelt of Sellotape.

Unsurprisingly, the stately woman at the desk gave him barely a passing glance, handing him a form to fill in with the enthusiasm of an automatic door sliding open. Also unsurprisingly, the assistant behind her paused in rearranging a filing cabinet to brush a couple of sandy hairs behind her ear and chew the end of a pen like it was made of liquorice. She even wandered aimlessly away from her task altogether, sidling up to the front desk most inconspicuously.

Merlin's mood brightened. While he leant down to scribble his name and address on the paper, he winked discreetly in her direction. In spite of definitely not looking at him, her cheeks turned beetroot crimson and what might have been a giggle or the beginnings of a small heart attack escaped her lips.

Against all of the shoddiness of his day so far, Merlin grinned inwardly, sizing her up with half of his attention. Tall, slender, twenty-one, twenty-two most likely. Stray blonde curls framed a thickly tanned face, the rest piled atop her head in a bun. In all, not a bad picture, although her wardrobe did leave something to be desired: Bell-bottomed jeans and a T-shirt reading "Darth Vader was framed", betraying that

A. She still thought that bell-bottomed anything was a good look, and

B. That she had never paid more than six quid for a shirt.

However, her figure and the hang of her hair more than made up for those discrepancies. Perhaps he could get something out of this counselling after all. With this in mind, he cleared his throat loudly,

"I'm terribly sorry, Miss," he waved the form vaguely in front of his face, "but I have a small problem."

Perhaps knowing exactly what he was doing and being used to it by this point, the woman, Ms Marion- who had decided that underneath a lace cardigan was the place for a name tag- ignored him completely, leaving miss bell-bottoms to round the edge of the counter and come to stand by his side over the offending form.

"What's the matter?" She asked, sincerely.

"Y'see," Merlin began, fixing her with a smile that even Jack admitted made anyone weak at the knees, "right here it's asking me for something that I just don't really get." He pointed accordingly, and bell-bottoms leant in closer. To get a really good look at the text, of course.

"We need your mobile number."

"Oh, I see, now here's the thing." Wearing a look of utter helplessness, he faced bell-bottoms completely. She appeared confused, her face becoming redder by the second. "I don't have one of those."

"What?"

"A mobile number." He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "You wouldn't mind terribly giving me yours, would you?"

If he squinted, Merlin was fairly certain he would see her bell-bottomed soul leaving her body and fluttering out of the window. He took her lack of reaction as an invitation,

"Lin Pendragon." He extended one hand, still cloaked in a fingerless glove the colour of wet bark. Despite his housemates deciding otherwise, Merlin was in fact not his actual name, and he would sooner be caught dead than introducing himself with it to an attractive young woman such as this. "Part time Ancient Historian, full time Romantic."

Bell-bottoms took the hand and shook it with unexpected firmness,

"Gowlle Delocks. Part time assistant, full time, um..." She seemed a little lost, floundering like a GCSE English paper "Full time-"

"Doctor Morgan LeFey. Part time tolerator of tardiness. This is not one of those times Mister Pendragon."

Spinning on his heel and effectively knocking the form onto the floor, Merlin faced the speaker, who stood in the doorway of a side-office like a disgruntled flamingo.

One thing came to mind when Merlin looked at the counsellor and that was the smell created when someone burns popcorn in a microwave. Forehead too small; nose too large, a hairy wart taking up most of it; everything that should end in a curve ending in an acute, needle-like point. She looked like a bad imitation of a Picasso painting come to life. Yellow hair that might have been blonde hung from her scalp, which he could almost see for how thin the stuff was; and her olive skin was definitely closer to a pale, sickly green from where Merlin was standing. The murky, sky-blue gown that would have looked excessive in the nineteenth century certainly didn't help. Summed up, she looked like a creature one would throw something at if it approached them on a dark night. Merlin felt his nose wrinkle in disgust.

So, he had been forced into counselling by a literal witch. Today was just going swimmingly wasn't it.

Dr Lefey's "office" was exactly what Merlin expected. Save of course for a cauldron, broomstick and small children in display cases. Indigo curtains rather than blinds hung at each side of a wide picture window that looked out on a garden peppered by horrendous little gnomes. Their China faces were stained green by years of mildew build-up. Her wooden floor she had covered with gaudy, knitted rugs, and the sides of her desk had glow-in-the-dark stars stuck to them. On the off-white walls hung various, tasteless frames of all sorts and colours, each depicting a photograph taken by somebody who was evidently not a professional photographer. One such picture especially caught his eye.

"This you, Miss… Lefty?" The question was stupid, of course it was her, every other human being on the planet had at least managed to look like one. The photo showed the woman sitting in a cluster of children underneath a cobbled-together shack, a paper tiara on her head and a wand made out of several plastic straws. "The fairy princess in the mauve cardigan?"

"First," She answered, pushing the door shut behind her with her pointy hip, "It's Doctor Lefey, but you will call me Morgan in these sessions." Merlin couldn't help but smirk internally when she assumed there would be more than one of these nightmares. "Second, yes, that is me in the photograph, November, four years ago, Uganda, a recycling activity. And third," The slam of a hefty file being dropped unceremoniously on to a desk made Merlin jump. "I was the fairy Queen."

"Well, your majesty," he ducked his head in a mock bow, "you've aged..." At first, he searched for an adverb but then realised, he didn't particularly need one.

Morgan gave Merlin that pinched smile that he'd seen Arthur's girlfriend, Gwen, give customers at The Golden Goose Cafe when they told her she had no idea who she was dealing with. Also called the 'booting-you-into-next-Thursday-would-cost-twenty-pounds-an-hour-but-i-am-legitimately-considering-it' face. Merlin ignored her easily. He'd had years of practise doing so.

He plopped himself down onto a teal green sofa with a ketchup stain running up one arm. It wasn't a comfortable seat, but the garish pixie cushion did help somewhat. Morgan paid him no attention, leafing through the thick file which she had retrieved moments before. She paid him no attention for a little too long.

As aforementioned, Merlin was fine with ignoring people. Even enjoyed it sometimes. Unattractive waitresses, bin-collectors, overweight people at the gym, pedestrians. Being ignored, however, was a far less comfortable experience. Probably because it was such a rare one. He coughed into the pasty silence.

"Those your medical records?" The room was quiet enough to facilitate a pin drop sounding like a bowling ball being dropped. A long, controlled intake of breath was easily made out. “Cosmetic surgery?”

"No." She said shortly, continuing with her browsing, "but they are yours." Merlin quickly stopped ignoring her. "And your birth records and your parents birth records and every other detail of your stimulating life story, Merlin." He short-circuited momentarily.

"That's not my-"

"No, it isn't your given name, but it's what your roommates call you and according to them, the one you prefer going by." Alright, those googly snitches were going to pay later. He recovered from his surprise gracefully as always, but that left him no less indignant.

"I- I wasn't aware that you'd have access to that information."

"Several reliable sources have identified you as being at risk, Merlin, everything in this folder is strictly need-to-know." A smile that could have been genuine spread across her features, and it may have been nice if it weren't so nauseating to look at. He crossed his arms and sunk lower into the sofa, muttering to himself,

"You hardly 'need-to-know' about the name though."

"Obviously, anything said in this session doesn't leave this room and the values and standards of Southend University are to be observed at all times." With quick strides on legs like skipping ropes, Morgan left her desk and placed herself gracelessly on a trademark shrink chair.

The ‘So, Merlin.’ Was audible on her spindly lips before they left them.

"So, Merlin. First, I'd like you to relax," Difficult, I'm sitting across from a gorgon, I'm a man moments from death, "and tell me about your background, where you're from, your family." He gave her a blank look.

"You just told me that you have a massive file telling you that stuff."

"Yes, but I'd like to know that you also know that stuff. Reviewing your case will prove very difficult if we aren't on the same page. Now, if you please." With an exasperated puff of air into his cheeks, Merlin leant forward so that his elbows braced against his knees and his hands clasped together.

"Fine. I was born in Seoul, South Korea; my parents died in a car accident when I was three. I was brought to England to live with an aunt in Ipswich."

"And you were comfortable with this change?" The interruption caused Merlin to blank for a second.

"Wha- I was three. I was comfortable sitting in a tumble dryer with knickers on my head!" This retort was not appreciated, judging by the tapping of Morgan's pencil against a green clipboard that had seemingly materialised out of thin air.

"These are regulation questions, try not to overthink your answers." With this she returned to drawing writing utensils from the ether apparently, a silent signal for him to continue. Already, Merlin's mind was going through fantasies of sprinting down the hill, across the high street and off the end of Southend pier.

"Alright then, the aunt was arrested when I was six-"

"Why was she arrested?"

"Are shrinks meant to interrupt their patients?"

"I'm not a shrink, I'm a University counsellor, why was your aunt arrested?" Nothing about this experience was relaxing. Getting a Frostino with Miss Delocks, the part-time-assistant would have been relaxing.

"Possession of illegal firearms. Just a taser. Five years in prison under the law of the United Kingdom. Happy?"

"Yes, this is very helpful. So, your guardian was arrested and…"

"I went into care, obviously. Seven foster homes over six years. Adopted after my eleventh birthday by Igraine Pendragon and her husband. I moved into their home in York, Summered in Cumbria; went to school with their son. Igraine died when I was fifteen, Uther when I was seventeen. Arthur and I moved out to one of the cottages we own in Leigh two years ago. It was all perfectly fine and now here I am at Southend University in a counselling session I didn't ask for with a counsellor that I'm certain nobody has ever asked for." Okay, the last bit slipped out half unwarranted, but he might as well be honest.

Long, mole-flecked fingers curled and tightened around the edges of her clipboard, leaving dents in the malleable green cork like it was plasticine.

"Right." Came a snarled response from between smiling teeth. "Now, on to some more current information: Who do you live with during your time at the University?"

"Igraine’s son, Arthur, and the five student tenants who rent out rooms." That felt weird to say. For some reason, whenever Merlin thought about the six other occupants of Stanrocc cottage, it was hard to remember that they weren’t all related in one way or another.

“Right, and are you comfortable with these living arrangements?”

“I’m a University student who gets to live in a fully catered house free of charge, what do you think?” The pinched ‘threaten-to-speak-to-my-manager-again-and-I-will-hit-you-with-a-shoe’ smile returned.

“Okay then.” A rustling of paper signalled that the background questions were mercifully coming to a close, as, Merlin hoped, was this entire experience. Unfortunately, the next words out of the witches’ mouth weren’t, ‘thank you for your time, Mister Pendragon, I hope you and Miss Delocks have a splendid afternoon.’ Instead she intertwined her grotesque fingers and looked him in the eye. The fact that he didn’t turn to stone was a shock.

“Now, Merlin, I’d like to know what features you look for when meeting new people.” Alright, not what he’d wanted or expected to hear.

“Is this a personal interview-”

“Just-” Morgan closed her eyes and pressed her lips together until they completely disappeared into her face. “Answer the question, Merlin.”

“I look for the same things anyone looks for. Do they look approachable? Would I want to be seen with them out and about? Those kinds of things.” He darted his eyes from Morgan’s varicose ankles to her sloping forehead.

“So, you base the value of other people’s company solely upon their outward appearance and draw any and all judgements from those assets?” There were too many words in that sentence, was all Merlin could think in response. When he did finally puzzle out what the question actually was, he gave the woman a jovial nod. Finally, they were on the same wavelength.

“Of course I do, how a person looks tells you a lot about who they are, doesn’t it?”

Morgan must have been writing something down, but it still felt as though her eyes had not left Merlin for a second. An intake of breath through her wide nostrils filled the room.

“To some extent, maybe.” She shifted on her chair and the look in her eye of a person who had gotten exactly what they wanted was unnerving. “Merlin, do you think you feel this way about other people because these mentalities could have been forced on you in the past?” Her nasal voice had become one of understanding and professionalism, the Northern accent thinning considerably. Merlin didn’t like it at all. “Maybe you feel as though you personally are liked or disliked for nothing besides how you look?”

Throughout this entire, stupid session, Merlin had been wanting to avoid answering questions. Now all he wanted to do was say something so devastating yet so on point that it would shut this witch up for the rest of her career. And yet his tongue remained still, rooted to the floor of his mouth.

“I see.” The counsellor stood and shook out her skirts with the smug air of a woman victorious. Merlin wanted to throw something at her. Like a shoe. She went around to the back of her desk and retrieved a post-it-note shaped like a unicorn. “I’m giving until the beginning of the new term to combat this problem that we seem to have here." In one motion she ripped away the post it note and was making her way back towards him, brandishing it like a literal curse rather than simply the figurative one that it clearly was. She handed it to him unforgivingly.

"I'd like you to try a social activity that is purely audio based. Interactions with others that don't allow them to see your appearance." The urge to crumple the note into a ball was strong. “I’ll schedule another session three weeks from now.”

"And what if I'm perfectly happy with the way things are? I don't need to change anything." Merlin shot back, and control of the situation brushed his fingertips before Morgan's condescending smile dragged it out of reach again.

"Tell me, Merlin, how many reports do you think I received from your professors and peers of this self-important, judgemental behaviour?" Merlin was already standing as he milled the question over for a full couple of seconds.

"One or two, I'd imagine." He finally mumbled. The witch drummed her pencil against her crossed arms and shook her head. "Well," Merlin started, "it can't have been-"

"Twenty-four." She didn't look victorious now, just a little sorry. That was so much worse. "Twenty-four different people, who you have known for only a year or so. Still think you don't need to change anything?"

Merlin didn't want to look around at her ridiculous face again. He didn't think he even knew twenty-four people well enough for them to report him. Her voice carried on no matter how much he wanted it not to.

"If I don’t see improvement three weeks from now, regardless of how you feel about it, I won't have anything to present against a decision to remove you from your course entirely."

The facts stung like poisonous, green smoke in Merlin's head. He pulled at the ornamented door handle, dismissing himself. Then a question came into his mind and forced itself to be asked.

"What activities would you suggest, then?"

"Start an interactive podcast; volunteer for a University chat-line; Online gaming." Merlin's humourless scoff punctuated her list.

"Yeah, no. I'm not an ‘over the phone’ kind of guy." He stepped out into the hallway and noticed Miss Delocks' head spin in his direction. The last ten minutes had dampened any mood he might have been in for going out, but that didn't mean he couldn't at least try to cheer himself up. He heard one last reply from the witch before he strode off in the assistant’s direction,

"Keep that attitude up and you won't be a "Part-time Ancient Historian" either."

In case the presence of a pale pink fiesta with mermaid stickers running along the doors wasn’t indicative enough, the loud guffaws and scattered shouts told Merlin that his housemates had company. This was before he even reached the top of the hill. Night was creeping across the sky already. Merlin would have liked to stay out longer, but the witches’ words had stuck a little too keenly to him, and a college bar surrounded by five beautiful young ladies was not, it seemed, the best place to process things.

Stanrocc cottage was one of a kind really. It was called a cottage because it managed to be too small to be a villa but also too pretty to be a house. The walls were brick, covered in an artsy kind of cement stuff with shells mixed into it, then painted white. Kingfisher blue window frames peeked out from beneath an overgrowth of marble-like gladioli and ballet-slipper foxgloves. The diminutive front garden was mostly taken up by the wild-cherry tree that had looked hurricanes and landfalls in the face, released a string of angry expletives and stayed precisely where it was with zero intention of ever going away. Around its ankles sprung up Snowdrops every Winter, but right now, in the twilight of August, the space was taken up by a hoard of decaying daffodil corpses.

Through one of the windows, a blonde head was just visible. It stood up haphazardly and came to the door when Merlin knocked. Jack appeared in the doorway, but he’d barely laid eyes on Merlin before he was leaning back inside and shouting into the noisy fray, his accent thick, probably from laughing,

“Ee’s back!” With that he left the door hanging open. Merlin entered, a little disgruntled at the lack of welcome, until he got inside and found out why. Seated on the various beanbags, chairs, and sofas, were their usual six occupants, but with them were four less usual ones. Alright, not that unusual, three of them Merlin knew he recognised.

First was Arthur’s fiancée, Gwen. She was a common recurring visitor. Whenever Arthur wasn’t following her around the café, she was following him around the cottage. The other two present were less clearly defined by engagement rings or Facebook relationship status’.

Upon sitting back down on his very expensive armchair, Jack had one-hundred-and-fifty centimetres of pink-leggings wearing, ashen skinned vegetarian seating herself comfortably on his lap. That one was Viviane… Or Niniane. Merlin never actually paid attention when Jack gushed about her, but he was almost sure her name was one of those. She was Jack’s “study partner'', both of them being up and coming chemists. Funny, because to Merlin’s knowledge, studying didn’t usually involve reclining on each other’s laps; playing with each other’s hair (or her playing with his, at least) and going out on spa trips together. If they weren’t together, Merlin couldn’t blame Jack. All spread-out, round eyes and large lips, she did look a little like a fish with legs.

Lastly there was Briar. Nobody actually knew what Briar was. Was she Hans’ friend? His girlfriend? A kind of omnivorous goat? It was a mystery. Altogether they knew seven things about her: Like Hans, she was German; she took fencing lessons; her wardrobe consisted entirely of ankle-length, floaty skirts and a special talent of hers was tripping over literal air. She slept with a baseball bat, wore purple contacts in her eyes and, while you wouldn’t imagine so from her physique, she had the appetite of a full grown horse. They didn’t even know what she was doing at the Uni. With her legs folded in front of her, she leant on her maybe-boyfriend-maybe-friend’s signature bean bag chair, one hand holding a row of scrabble pieces. The other was surreptitiously burrowing through Hans’ homemade bag of steak flavoured crisps, which famously tasted like dog food to everyone but those two. The curly-headed bag-holder didn’t seem to mind at all.

There was one other girl with them, seated on a folding chair between Briar’s feet and Arthur’s elbow. Merlin gave her barely a passing glance however, taking in a round figure, cherry-pink shorts, and shoulder-length brown hair before he lost interest.

Maybe you feel as though you personally are liked or disliked for nothing besides how you look.

The counsellor’s stupid voice drove through his thoughts unbidden like an off-rail train. He shook his head and shoved them back down into his subconscious where they belonged, ready to be forgotten.

The ringing of the words, however, was replaced by his stomach gurgling irritably. A muffin and a salted-caramel hot chocolate were not enough to go on for a whole afternoon. His eyes fell on the Chinese food containers strewn about the coffee table and surrounding floor. A takeaway was a rare occasion in Stanrocc cottage. In the entire county of Essex, there were exactly four fast-food establishments that Hans trusted and respected, and thus, would allow them to purchase from. Two of these were fish-and-chip shops; one- Merlin’s particular favourite- did flame-grilled kebabs; and the last one was the Jade Dragon Restaurant. Very expensive- meaning Jack was probably to thank for it- and very, very good Chinese food. It dawned on Merlin a little late that this uncharacteristic treat might have been meant to make him feel better, judging by the sizeable stack of barbecue kebab boxes that could be seen just inside the kitchen door. Nobody else liked barbecue kebabs.

But he was too tired and too hungry to feel bad for not coming back. He’d been busy.

The energetic game of scrabble had come to a standstill when his arrival was announced. Now ten pairs of eyes were on him and six of them were concerned. Merlin made for the kitchen, the multitude of expectant faces making his chest knot.

“Don’t worry about me,” he insisted, half-heartedly when he noticed both Arthur and Hans shifting as if to get up. “I’m going to bed.”

Noki, the second of the triplets, swept up a container filled with Prawn crackers and extended them in Merlin’s direction. He waved them away dismissively.

“Really, it’s fine, I’ll grab something from the fridge.” And with that he left the room.

Much to his dismay, the fridge was a sorry sight, being mostly bare save for half a watermelon and an empty milk carton. It was a Friday, he soon remembered, which meant Hans would be grocery shopping tomorrow. Also, Briar was there.

Footsteps came thudding along the short passage between the living room and the kitchen. Merlin didn’t have to look up to know that an orange vest with arms was blocking the door.

“What do you want, Arthur?” Even in the fridge, Merlin could feel the glare in the back of his head. Crossed arms also wouldn’t be a surprise.

“I want to know where you’ve been, and why you didn’t feel the need to tell us you weren’t coming back?” Merlin finally selected a yogurt cowering at the very back with a best-before date of yesterday. He shut the fridge door with his foot, searching for a clean spoon on the draining board.

“You know you aren’t actually my dad, right?” He plunged the end of the spoon through the paper covering and started ripping the excess away. “I can go where I want.”

“No.” Arthur had now moved completely into the room. “But you’re still one of us, mate, and we were all worried. The triplets almost got in the truck to come pull you out of whatever ditch you’d fallen into.” Merlin actually looked him in the face this time. He was scratching his ghost of a goatee the way he always did when he felt in deep water. “You didn’t exactly leave in great spirits this morning.”

“Lurrk, uum fyrn.” Merlin said through a mouthful of yogurt. The stuff was absolutely repulsive, but it was the best conversation avoidance technique he had without a book to hand. He manoeuvred around Arthur, trying desperately to keep from openly weeping at the foul stuff. The best-before date ought to have been the may-not-kill-you-before date.

“Yeah,” Arthur sighed behind him. “I can see that. But you’re-“ Merlin dashed up the stairs, discarding the yogurt discreetly in the kitchen bin as he passed it.

Arthur had changed since meeting Gwen. It was like something had been plucked out of him. The thing that had made Merlin feel close to him while everything was happening: The adoption, losing both their parents. It was like Arthur had grown up, changed somehow. And had left Merlin behind.

And from what he had seen in the other room, Arthur wasn't the only one.

Merlin emptied the yogurt out of his mouth and gargled mouthwash to get rid of the lingering flavour of overripe strawberries. A knock at his bedroom door interrupted him.

“What did the counsellor say?” It was Arthur again. Merlin had honestly had enough of today. Why couldn’t everyone just leave him be? He wasn’t hurting anyone.

He poked his head out, startling his friend who still had his fist raised to knock again.

“She suggested I take up gaming.”

-*-

Hours later, Merlin turned over his pillow again, trying his absolute hardest to fall asleep. He’d tried relaying a movie in his head, but thinking about the ending just made him sad. He’d tried reading his new book, but Neil Gaiman wasn't particularly relaxing. At last he had just shut his eyes and told himself to sleep, with real authority and gumption. That just made him more awake because his brain hated him.

Eventually he sat up and tugged the string on his lamp. The clock on his desk told him it was 2:26. Merlin’s bones told him that he was actually in a void in which time was a construct of society, and he felt much more inclined to believe the latter. Seeing as somebody, probably Hans, had left a plate of reheated kebabs in front of his door, Merlin hadn’t starved, so he couldn’t explain the hollow discomfort that was plaguing him now.

Actually, he could, he just didn’t want to.

Twenty-four people thought he was a self-important, narcissistic idiot.

Walking around his room to clear his head quickly turned into walking downstairs and into the kitchen to get some shreddies. There were still a few chocolate ones left, them mercifully being the one cereal that Briar didn’t love more than life itself.

As he dejectedly spooned the stuff into his mouth, green smoke came unfiltered through his head again, spelling out: I won't have anything to present against a decision to remove you from your course entirely. Merlin groaned and pulled at his bark coloured hair.

Ancient and Medieval History, while not a popular course, was still difficult to get into. Only twelve or so universities in the country even offered it. And even then, Southend alone offered the module on folklore and mythologies. So many essays, so many projects, so much time spent reading about the sordid love-lives of ancient deities. For nothing apparently. All because some people he didn’t know thought he was self-obsessed.

Nothing added up.

And gaming? Really. Podcasts and chat-lines were an instant nope, but gaming. In his entire twenty years, Merlin had played one game and one game alone. And well, that one was…

Next thing he knew, Merlin had left the congealed cereal lonely on the sink and was fighting his way through a wall of cobwebs into the storage room. The lights hadn’t worked in there for years, so Merlin clasped a battery powered torch from Colchester castle like a lifeline.

With his finger and thumb he gingerly shifted bicycles, boxes of DVDs and even a taxidermy rabbit that had gone to holes, until he saw it. The shiny, green corner of a laptop-games-console-hybrid emerged from the darkness. And then was immediately plunged back into it when the torch exploded in Merlin’s hand, the light flickering away with a puff of smoke. Merlin had expected this, but that didn’t stop him from grabbing the game and high-tailing it out of the storage room before the shadows could grab his ankles and eat him. Safe in his own bedroom again, Merlin intrepidly opened the game.

Fairytale Island was created by Avalon Games nine years ago. In its entire run, localised in Southern England, it sold about three-hundred consoles. These consoles were box-like laptops, but a more accurate comparison would be an oversized Nintendo DS. The keyboard-space was taken up by the controls, while the screen was above. Graphics-wise, it was surprisingly ahead of its time. What you did was you uploaded a full body photograph of yourself, lined up the limbs and head, and voila, you had your avatar!

This particular console had been bought by an incredible woman named Igraine, for the eleven year old boy whom she had fearlessly rescued. Merlin ran a finger gently over the sticker, feeling the scratchy remnants of its glitter-glue border. On it was a simple little message, rounded off with a clumsy smiley face and the letter I, in wide swirling print.

For the most handsome Prince on Fairytale Island!!!

Obviously his avatar had to change, lest he wanted to continue with the slenderman-esque creature created by his imaginative twelve-year-old self.

Merlin had to stand on his bed to get himself into the frame of his plug-in webcam. Not really knowing what to do with his arms, he did the only rational thing and T-posed. In his pyjamas. In front of a game for preteens. At twenty past two in the morning.

If one of his housemates came in now he would kill them and dissolve the body in acid.

The screen counted down, readying the camera.

Three… Two… O-ghlowhfsajfhlsdkhlhdsjfh…………….Error………...rebooting, thank you for your patience.

Well. That seemed fair.

Hopping down as quietly as possible, Merlin watched the static clear from the screen like ghost lightning. He should have expected it. Motorcyclists had long said that ‘Love is when you like someone as much as your motorbike.” Merlin was inclined to disagree, because his bike was the one piece of mechanical equipment that didn’t figure it should explode whenever he dared breathe nearby. No bond would ever be able to trump that kind of loyalty.

Reservedly, he fiddled with a Rubix cube until the screen returned to normal. Nothing seemed that wrong with it.

Until his avatar loaded again.

A brief visit to the bathroom mirror was made so that Merlin could examine both his eyes, but when he came back they found the same sight.

Where there should have been a tall, thin, carrot-shaped, Merlinish mage character, there now resided a tiny, stout- if still Merlinish- one. And it was green. Not even a nice green, like fern or emerald or sage. This was a green that reminded a person of snot and nothing else… Except maybe a dehydrated basil plant.

Merlin bashed his head against the edge of his desk. What had that witch done to him? Why was he concerned about this?

Giving up on answering that question, he looked up to face the diminutive monster that bobbed in place like an excitable pea with legs. Maybe it wasn’t so bad, he tried to reason. If he didn’t focus, it almost looked like an obese, unwell Gollum. But hey, maybe the other players will like that kind of thing?

Without realising it, Merlin scoffed out loud at himself.

Other players? This game had a range of a thousand kilometres squared and was being handled by a technopollyon (a word that was not a word until Merlin discovered there was no term for a person who inadvertently breaks technology, but there were a multitude of Greek words that he could misuse in its place.)

The chances of another pathetic Englishman within his third of Essex being in possession of and online on Fairytale Island at two-thirty that night, were not worth thinking about. Because they were nonexistant.

With that in mind, Merlin took one last bitter look at his avatar, and continued resolutely on to game.

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Wow! Thanks for reading that!!! I hope you enjoyed it!

(Btw, Gwen, Viviane and Briar are my headcannons for the end credit characters and Morgan LeFey is the fairy princess)

Again, thanks so much. I’m putting the next chapter up at some point, this one from Snow’s perspective.

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juminsmysticmc · 4 years

Text

Dreams

Chapter 1 - Beginning of an End

Pairings: Zen x Mc

So, the Zen fraction won and I am pretty happy! I am sorry for posting so late, I was watching Romantic Dr Kim 2 the whole day (Season 1 is better, please someone talk with me about it!) ENJOY!

,,Ajushi, Ajushi! Are you alright?“ you asked the old man on your right side as his breathing became heavier. You checked his heartbeat and placed your index finger on his neck. ,,Excuse me, you in the blue shirt. Could you call 119?“ you asked a young man who nodded and did what you asked him to do. The bus stopped and you asked three men to help you out since you were sure that the man needed help right now. When the medical support came, you explained everything you checked in the few minutes you were next to him. Since they were surprised by you, you explained that you studied medicine. Of course, this was everything before you entered the RFA. Because afterwards, you became Zen‘s girlfriend, changed your major, and became his manager. The young paramedic smiled at you and asked you if you would like to go with the man you just saved. Somehow, this man had something that reminded you of Zen and so you felt the strong urge to stay by his side and support the man. ,,Yes. If I‘m not troubling you,“ you decided and smiled as you sat down next to the sick man in the ambulance.

While the driver of the ambulance was going as fast as possible to the nearest hospital, you decided to call Zen. You had to tell him that you were heading to the hospital and that you would probably come home late. You quickly opened your lock screen, which showed a picture of you and the RFA together at your third Party. You were so grateful to them... They practically saved you from your lonely life since you were now living happily with these new friends you made. But of course, you would never tell them… it would be way too embarrassing. You searched for the call app. The next background showed you and Jaehee at your girls evening. She kissed your cheek as you held up a glass of champagne. After so much time, you still had to chuckle at the picture. You were wearing an odd wig and Jaehee was wearing new star glasses. You chuckled and opened the RFA app. You were so deeply in love with your picture there. It showed Zen while he was asleep and you laying on his chest. Once again, you remembered the beautiful moment. After your night together, Zen fell asleep and you took the chance to take a picture. Of course you also took a few fan girls' pictures and sent them to Jaehee, knowing that she would love them.

After you tried to call Zen, you came to the conclusion that his phone wasn’t nearby and so you decided to enter the chat room. The blue background made you feel secure as you typed in to please notify Zen that you would come home late because of an accident. You also described that you were heading to the hospital.

,,Excuse me...“ the young boy talked to you again, making you look up totally shocked Your cheeks turned red as you noticed how rude you had been, being on the phone while riding in an ambulance.. Without looking at your phone, you tried to leave the chatroom and smiled at the man. ,,I‘m sorry for my rudeness, but I had to notify my boyfriend, however, he seems to… not hear the phone I guess, and so I asked my friends to tell him about it,“ you kindly explained. The man nodded as the atmosphere suddenly turned awkward. ,,We will be at the hospital in a few minutes. I just wanted to say to please be ready so that we can get out as soon as possible,“ the man explained and you nodded to show him that you understood him. You just noticed now that the young man had a bright smile, which made him look very handsome. Once again you blushed, but soon managed to ignore the feelings since you had to rush out. You jumped out and then went away from the door in order to make space for the old man.

He was taken into a room right away, leaving you behind. You looked at them and felt agony as you missed those times. When you went there, sleepy after a hard workday, exhausted by the operation and hospital smell. Just in that moment, you got reminded that you were writing something into the RFA chatroom and couldn’t finish the message. As you took out your phone, you found out that something was wrong ,,Ugh…’’ you moaned. 5 missed calls from Yoosung, 3 from Seven, 5 from Jumin, 15 from Jaehee, and 20 from Zen… and of course the chat room was… messy.

Mc: Hi there…. 707: I found her location oh my! Jaehee Kang: Mc?! How are you? Where are you? What happened? Zen: How could this happen? Princess, I’m going to pick you up right away!!! Who hurt you?!?! Mc: Calm down, guys. Nothing happened to me. I saved an old man. I’m at Doldam Hospital Zen: Oh god……. Yoosung: I just cried so much whaaa i’m happy that you’re fine Jumin Han: I’m happy too, Mc. You really scared us. Mc: I know, I’m sorry…. Can someone pick me up? Zen: Coming! And so, after you excused yourself, you left the chatroom. It took Zen a long time to come. But the good thing was, that as soon he was there, you were allowed to visit the man you had just saved. Well, perhaps you should have ignored the man’s request. He had requested for you to visit him. This meeting was the biggest mistake in your life… A mistake which turned your life upside down. It was a mistake that would make you feel pain; too much pain for you to handle on your own. ,,Dad?’’ ,,H-Hyun?!’’

AND CUT!! Wanna read more? 5 Comments and 5 Reblogs and the second chapter will be online XD

Chapter 2

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beningalfiatur · 4 years

Text

ON THOUGHT : HOSPITAL PLAYLIST 1

I always have soft spot for jo jung suk, even I don’t always watch his drama/film, but I follow his news, at least I know what his current project. At that time, maybe early December, i read on dramabeans that shin woo hoo pdnim will make a new show about medical drama and one of it lead that has been casted is jo jung suk. When I read the news, I have mixed feeling about it, shin pd is known as GENIUS pd, I am also agreeing that fact, his past work is wondefull but I’m still traumatized by love line in 1988, (cry and hug for jungpal!), except for loveline reply 1988 is excellent as drama. Nevertheless, Jo jung suk and shin pd are more than enough to keep this drama under my radar.

Early march, I just finished romantic dr kim season 2, I didn’t like as much as first season, I watch only for almighty han su kyu. Damn! That man is awesome and terryfying! After dr kim ended, I’m still in mood for medical drama, so I check on Netflix (at time I didn’t know that hospital playlist has been aired). I found hospital playist in the front of Netflix, I said to myself lets check it out first episode, if it’s turn out good, then I will be continue watching.

Episode 1.

First half of first episode feel disjointed and confusing as hell, there too many character has been introduce, but then again, I remember this drama made by shin pd and lee woo jung writer when even side character has great story. The story from each patient is great and heartwrenching but I didn’t care enough for them LoL, because I was mad curious to watch its lead together.

99-gang is awesome! I love them already. Those conversation, banter and bickering is so natural, its believable that they were friend for 20 years. Even if airtime when those five together is short, but we can see the chemistry is already there. I craving for them! Yeah, I can watch sixteen episode their bickering and jamming.

Jo jung suk as dad probably the most great unexecpted things happend in my kdrama journey, HAH. AND HIS SON UJU – is cute as botton, he should be protected all cost! The fact that he is dad put my mind and heart in ease ( and the strong reason to continue this drama), because there no way husband hunting plot will exist. Even if that plot is exist, he wont included in there, because he is a DAD. (long short story, I was too naïve to believe at this duo pd-writer LOL). Jo jung suk as death vender is the best enterance in all medical drama I have been watching. How can they create this scene? Hans down to writer.

All this time, I only know jung kyung hoo as girls generation’s soo young boyfriend. I never watched his recent project, as long as I remember, I only watch him in I’m sorry I love you, which was a decade year ago. He played as spoiled rich boy, he not that good in there. Lol. Honestly, I surprise watching him in hospital playlist, becase he so good (and handsome to the boot, he the most handsome). Before I watch hp, I thought jo jung suk will be has a tsundere character, but jung kyung hoo instead.

Yoo yeun suk playing doctor again, but the character is 180 completely different with previous character. What I love about yoo yeeun suk as a actor is he never stop to improve his acting ability, boarden his acting range, tackling various role. Yoo Yeun suk got popular thanks to reply 94, but his drama after that –warm and cozy (he and kang sora are main lead in there) failed miserably. Fortunately, after horrible warm and cozy, he choose better project, all his drama is succesfull rating and popularity wise.

Kim Dae Myung character is the most uniqe one, he is forty years for a god sake, but he’s mama boy. He doesn’t want to working because he want playing with his mom, pft. He and yys are chaebol In there. Thanks to him, because he’s the one who iniciate to playing band again, so we can se 99 jamming.

Chae song hwa is too good to be true, she is just perfect for human being. I’m lost word for her. Chae song hwa played effortlesty by joen mi do. I never watch joen mi do in anything! At the first minute watch her? I’m said to myself, how could be this gem never founded by kdrama? After episode 1, I googled and search about her, turn out she is a veteran and award winning musical actor. How dare and sneaky this pd! Such an award winning actress played as a tone deaf?

After all, despite the disjointed and shifthing scene too much, that I can’t grap the emotion. But this first episode is convinced me enough to continue this drama. Yeah, in this mess and stressful world, I need drama that can healing my mind. Blessed you shin pd and lee woo jung writernim!

�$

#hospital playlist #jo jung suk #yoo yeon suk #jung kyung ho #joen mi do #kim dae myung

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miss-tc-nova · 4 years

Text

The Cat’s Meow - Jumin Han x Fem!Reader Pt 10

This is a slightly older chapter and kind of basic.

Part 10: Confirmation

It’s been a month since the Christmas incident and we’re going into February. I make a point to see Jumin less, to my inner hatred. I also have to make an active attempt at keeping any personal time with Jumin to a minimum. I’m sure he’s noticed but hasn’t pointed out my poorly imagined excuses yet. Still, my heart beats a little faster when I see his name pop up on my cell phone.

I’m writing down the details of my client’s pet when Corine, my secretary, pokes her head into the room.

“_____, you’ve got a call.”

“Oh, okay. Put them on hold, I’ll be there in just a minute.”

I quickly put down the rest of the details and place the cat in one of the kennels before heading to the front to take the call.

“Dr. _____ speaking,” I answer.

“Hello _____.”

His smooth voice almost catches me off guard. “Hello Jumin. What’s up?”

“Elizabeth the 3rd’s appointment is tomorrow,” he states bluntly.

“Yeah, I know. And?”

“Could you, perhaps, do it at my house?”

It takes a moment for me to process the information. “I’m sorry, what?”

“I really don’t want to take the risk of losing her again. You understand right?”

I sigh, rubbing my eyes. “I don’t know, Jumin. That’s a lot of work. Especially if she needs shots.”

“Please, _____.”

I have a hard time resisting people with pets, despite my better judgment. “Fine, but it’s not going to be cheap.”

“Deal.”

“And it’s going to have to wait until I get off work tomorrow.”

“That’s alright. I’ve got work in the morning anyways.”

“Alright. I’ll text you my price tonight and see you tomorrow.”

“Thank you, _____. You’re amazing.”

“You bet I am.”

“See you tomorrow.”

“See ya.” I hang the phone up and let out the longest sigh. As sharp as she was, Corine catches that.

“Problems in Loveland with the rich company heir?”

I give her a small scowl. “We’re not dating. But I am making my first at-home appointment.”

“What?”

“Jumin asked me to do his cat’s appointment at his house.”

“And you agreed?”

“He agreed to pay more. Will you pull up Elizabeth the 3rd’s file so I know what I’ll need to take with me?”

“Alright, hun.”

“Thanks Corine.”

As I walk away, I hear her laugh about the cat’s name just as everyone in the office always does.

I spend the whole day on my feet. If I’m not taking care of clients, I’m collecting and double checking the bag I’ll be taking to Jumin’s. It doesn’t help that I have to keep chasing away worries of the darker side of Jumin.

The work day ends and I send Jumin a text as I leave the clinic. He answers rather quickly, confirming he’s waiting, so I change course to head to his place.

“Welcome, Dr. _____,” the chief of security greets. “Mr. Han is waiting for you.”

“Thank you,” I return, heading inside and ignoring the light feeling in my chest.

Jumin is in the living room area with his cat on his lap. “Hello, _____.”

“Hey Jumin.” I set my bag on the kitchen counter and start with laying out a sterile sheet and taping it down. “How’s your day been?”

“Tiring. My father has a new girlfriend and wants me to pick up a business he started since he wants to spend some time with her.”

“That sucks. You must be really busy then.”

“How was your day?”

“Pretty normal, other than a house call I have to do,” I retort with a bit of a smile. “Yeah. Other than that, pretty normal.”

“Glad I could bring a bit of surprise to your life,” he says teasingly. The white cat seems perfectly content despite being placed on this new surface.

“Just about anything with you involved is a surprise in my life,” I mumble.

The man gives me a strange look. “What’s that mean?”

“I mean, since I met you, things are definitely a bit more exciting,” I tell him, trying not to think about the night after the party. “The way we met was completely unconventional. The first time we hung out you spent a night in my waiting room while I dealt with an emergency. I planned a cat-themed birthday for a full-grown man. The paparazzi are constantly trying to get something on us. How is our relationship normal in any way, Jumin?”

“Point taken.” The man strides further into the kitchen. “Would you like a drink?”

I hesitate, a lump forming in my throat. “Thank you, but that wouldn’t be very professional of me while I’m working.”

“Right. I forgot.” I didn’t think it was possible for a smile to make me happy and nervous at the same time. “Perhaps afterwards.”

“Actually, I have to get home to take care of Mako,” I reply with the worst excuse.

“Oh, of course. How is that strange little cat?”

I do a routine checkup and give the cat a shot, which she wasn’t thrilled about, but forgives me pretty much instantly. As I’m cleaning up, the security guard comes in.

“Mr. Han, your father has come to visit.” He glances at me. “Shall I’ll tell him you’re busy with a visitor?”

Jumin glances at me and I speak up quickly. “Please, don’t let me interfere. I’m almost done here anyways.” In part, I’m thankful for a real excuse to get away from the alcohol.

“No. He can wait.”

I brush it off, “Jumin, I’m pretty much on my way out anyways.”

With a strange expression, he turns back to his employee. “Send him in.”

Moments later, an older man slightly resembling Jumin comes into the room. “Hello Jumin. I-” The man notices me. “Oh, I see you already have guests.”

I interrupt, “Pay me no mind. I was just packing up.” As customary of polite strangers, I offer him my hand. “I’m Dr. _____ _____. I just came by to do a checkup on Elizabeth the 3rd.”

“So you’re the vet that found my son’s cat and gave him a good scolding,” the man chuckles, shaking my hand.

I rub my eyes with a sigh. “Yeah. That’s me.”

“Well hopefully since then, he’s taken more precaution. He must be since you’re here.”

“She’s in excellent health.” I turn to the son. “You’ll call my secretary tomorrow to settle the bill, right?”

“Of course. I can’t ditch a bill if and expect to receive the same expert veterinary care next time,” he retorts. “Besides how could you ever doubt me?”

I laugh. “Right. With all the money in the world, why would Jumin Han ever have a reason to skip out on a bill?”

He beams. “Exactly.”

“Alright. I’ll talk to you later, Jumin.” I look to the older man. “It was a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Han.”

“Likewise, Dr. _____.”

I give a brief wave and head for the exit. Just before the door completely clicks shut, I hear Jumin’s father speak again. Unable to help myself, I pause.

“A smart woman,” he comments. “Beautiful too. A shame she has nothing else to offer a husband.” Instantly, a frown crosses my face.

“You don’t know her,” growls Jumin.

“I don’t need to. She’s clearly not fit for the corporate world. So I must insist that you cut back on providing the paparazzi evidence of your relationship.”

“First of all, the paparazzi will turn anything into ‘evidence of a relationship.’ At the rate they’re going, I might as well be dating Assistant Kang. Second, I don’t care if they think we’re in a relationship because as far as I’m concerned, I’m going to marry that woman one day.”

My heart stops and I nearly black out.

“You what?!”

“You heard me.”

“Jumin, she’s not fit to be your wife! Let alone someone who could help you run the company! She brings nothing to the relationship!”

“That’s enough!”

“She can only bring your future down! The paparazzi will tear her apart, break her down until she can’t take it anymore! If you don’t grow up in our world, you can’t handle the stress! She’s far too different from you, Jumin! She doesn’t belong with you! She will ruin your life! And I will not let that girl bring down my company or my son!”

At that point, I step away from the door and head for the elevator, the corporate leader’s words blaring through my head. I decline the security employee’s offer for a ride home and keep walking.

Why do I care? Why does it bother me? He’s right after all. I can’t help Jumin, let alone in his career. We’re just too different. I don’t care what he thinks. We’re friends. We’re just friends. I don’t love, Jumin Han. I do not love him!

Jumin’s threats of marriage replay in my head over and over until I just want to puke. I try for several hours to convince myself that I have never seen our relationship as anything more than friendship. I’ve been putting up barriers, more so lately, and trying to break it down so that there could be no doubt that we were only friends. But he’s been thwarting those efforts as if they meant nothing. The harder I push to remain just friends, the easier it seems for him to pull us towards a romantic relationship. However, it seems that there are more people that agree with me than I thought; important, powerful people. Probably no one could have struck down a relationship in my eyes like Jumin’s father. But now that I’m face with the fact that we really aren’t meant to be together, I almost want to take it all back.

Furious and annoyed and somewhat heartbroken, I dress up to go out, making my way to my favorite bar to drink for the wrong reasons.

#jumin han #jumin x reader #jumin han x mc #jumin han x reader #jumin x mc #mysme jumin #mystic messenger #mysme #fem!reader

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hamliet · 4 years

Note

(1/2) Hi hamliet! I'm sorry if this is an outdated question, but since you're an un-biased person when it comes to shipping I was wondering how you interpret Levi & Erwin's relationship? It's 100% understandable that it was based on mutual trust as Isayama said, and I absolutely adored their respect for one another, but lately some posts about Levi being ready to throw everybody else under the boss to kill Zeke brought me confusion. I remember in Levi's monologue he said "I'm ready

(2/2) to follow you/Erwin even to hell". On the other side, Isayama said sth like Levi's unstable and lost (hope I'm not wrong after Erwin's death) so I wanna know what you think about how he feels towards those like the 104th & Hans now? Thanks a lot in advance! I love your meta :)

Aw, thank you! So I addressed my interpretation here: the tl;dr of it is that they loved each other, but whether it was platonic or romantic is up to you. I personally interpret it platonically but there’s nothing to prove it wasn’t platonic (the absence of explicit romance does not make it impossible to interpret it that way, and it doesn’t really effect the reading of the characters to interpret it one way or the other; hence, you do you).

I don’t focus too much on author statements when it comes to interpreting what’s already textual, but I think Levi was focused too much on fulfilling his promise to Erwin by the letter and not necessarily by the spirit, which is why his use of excessive violence with Zeke backfired in a major way and has put him out of commission for the time being. But Erwin would have ultimately wanted them all to be free, and I think Levi will/is realize[ing] that. I also think Levi does care deeply, very deeply, about the 104th (even Eren) and Hange: he always has been someone who cares deeply about his loved ones. I definitely think his relationship with Erwin was special (again, special doesn’t have to mean romantic, but it was definitely deep and received a lot of focus), but I don’t think Levi would ever, say, if faced with saving the 104th or killing Zeke, choose to kill Zeke and let the 104th die.

#ask hamliet #snk #levi ackerman #eruri #erwin smith

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best-enemies · 3 years

Note

For the fandom ask meme thing can I request the whole damn alphabet or is that not very cash money of me? I’m nosy lmao I wanna know all of them!

AHDKAJSDKJAHSKDA JACK YOU’RE THE BEST

A - Your current OTP(s)/OT3(s)/OTX(s)

I’ve had my current OTP for like almost 8 years and it’s, obviously, Thoschei (Doctor/Master). My other current obsession is the Gallifrey OT4 hehehe

B - A pairing you initially didn’t consider but someone changed your mind

It’s funny because I didn’t ship Hannigram at first... I’d thought the idea of a cannibal having a relationship was terrifying because what if they had sex and Hannibal got hungry in the middle of the act? Lmaoooo

But yeah they’re my endgame now. I watched the show when it first aired and I was about 14/15 years old so now you see why I thought that. Although I’m still afraid I’m gonna be reading a fic and Hannibal will suddendly bite Will’s dick off or smth AKJHSAKJSAHSASKAJ

C - A ship you have never liked and probably never will (be nice)

Uhhh Doctor/Clara. Mainly because I don’t like to ship the Doctor with companions (there may be one or two exceptions but I don’t ship them enough to actually say I ship them lol) and I don’t know I just never vibed with it

D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t (again: be nice)

Doctor/River. I mean, I did like it for a while years ago but now it’s just... eh. I think she has a waaay better chemistry with the 12th Doctor, but still don’t ship it. I might give it a try once I listen to the River audios but so far meh. I’m not much of a multishipper anyway.

E - Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom, if so, what

God. I’ve written a couple of Academy Era (focused on the Deca) crack fanfics and I still have to translate them to English. They’re pure garbage but I love them. I have a lot of fun writing crack fics because they’re easier and I can ignore whatever piece of canon I want just for the laughs

F - What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom

Guess it’s Doctor Who, been here (in and out of the fandom) for over 8/9 years

G - Do you remember your first OTP, if so who was in it

Uhhhh I think it was Han Solo and Leia, since I was a kid really. I wanted to marry both of them lol

H - What is your favorite source text for fandom stuff (e.g., tv shows, movies, books, anime, Western animation, etc.)

I had to google what a source text is and still don’t know

I - Has tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why

I don’t think so, but Twitter definitively has. I remember a couple years ago I was curious to see what voltron was about and watched a few episodes, it was ok, fun and cute but the fandom was so annoying I stopped watching it for good and don’t care about it enough to pick it up again

J - Name a fandom you didn’t care/think about until you saw it all over tumblr

I had definitively forgotten about supernatural until I saw it all over my dashboard in the year of our lord 2020 lmao like in my wholock days I tried to watch the show because everyone on my dash (is it still called dashboard?) was talking about it and I watched about 8 episodes before dropping it. But seeing it again on the dash was actually a happy surprise because the memes are too funny hahaha

K -Say something nice about someone in any of your fandoms

I’m extremely shy irl and on the internet as well but I wanna say that @janeturenne is one of the best authors ever and her fanfics are a blessing in my life; also @thebraxiatelcollection who brings awesome content to my dash and is also one of the best authors. And of course, you, Jack, also one of the best authors god I’m so BLESSED

L - Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves (chars you’re neutral on are fair game, as are chars you dislike)

Uhhh I guess I’m neutral about the current companions. They’re not my favorites but I don’t really dislike them - they had a lot of potential and chibs came up with some good storylines but did not develop them well in my opinion. I think Graham is a fun grandpa whom I’m going to miss when he leaves; Ryan is cool and could’ve done a lot more if the writers had kept a few things, it’d be awesome if he vlogged all of their adventures. He’s like the one I was curious to see more but sadly didn’t feel a connection; and Yaz, I hope she’ll keep growing and that her friendship with the Doctor will finally be developed to a level we can connect to her.

It sounds weird because with the fam it’s always ‘what I wish could have been’ because I never felt really connected to them :(

M - Say something genuinely nice about a ship that you don’t ship (or its shippers, or anything related to you)

Ok... I don’t really ship Rey/Finn but I think it’s one of the sweetest ships ever, and if they ended up together I’d be happy. They love each other and are there for each other always so, yeah :D

N - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice)

I don’t know if I got the question right but it’s three things I wish I saw more in my main fandom? Well, if it’s that, then, 3 things about the Doctor Who fandom: 1) people having more civilized or light-hearted discussions about things. Like, I genuinely disliked an 8th doctor audio I listened once that my friends loved, and they made fun of me and we joked about it. Also once we were in a live twitch video playing among us and discussing doctor who, and then we got into a ship “discourse” as a joke and nobody really cared and just laughed because everyone knew it’s fictional shit so why get mad over it? 2) Doctor Who has a titanic amount of content, it’s all canon but at the same time it’s not, so who cares? If you want to listen to Big Finish audios and if you can afford it, then lisiten; if you can’t, it’s okay, no one has the right to tell you you’re less of a fan. Just tell them to fuck off; 3) The best way to keep fandom alive is by creating content. Here in my local fandom we have several podcasts dedicated to all areas of the whoniverse (the show, the expanded universe, the audios, etc), those old fandom websites who do serious work to bring news to the fans, people who make subtitles for the classic series (we don’t have it available here so they do their best to make it accessible to other fans), accounts dedicated to promoting dr who fans who create content, and we even have people making their own audiodramas with dw characters and writing book-lenght fanfiction to help explain the show to people who’ve never watched it, and a great variety of things. I’ve seen a few of these things in the international fandom, mostly by older fans, so I wish younger fans about my age who have the means to make this kind of stuff would make it too. Maybe there’d be less twitter drama out there lol

O - Choose a song at random, which ship or character does it remind you of

“the killing moon” by echo & the bunnymen reminds me of thoschei. yep it was totally random

P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas)

The fact that we don’t have a pride and prejudice AU for brax/romana yet is driving me insane

Q - A ship you’ve abandoned and why

I’ve mentioned it before but doctor/river, don’t really remember why idk I just don’t vibe with it anymore. But also because thoschei has so many different pairings in 1 ship that I don’t really feel the need to ship them with anyone else lol

R - A pairing you ship that you don’t think anyone else ships

GOD I NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT BECAUSE IT’S SO SPECIFIC ok fellow academy era stans gather around if you have read Divided Loyalties there’s a scene where it SHOWS that Magnus had a crush on Ushas. And NO ONE HAS EVER TALKED ABOUT THEM and the power couple they would’ve made. I write them into all my fanfics in hopes of making other people ship them but I’ve had no success so far

S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged)

The Master is a big fan of musicals and in the 77 years he spent on earth he watched every single one ever. I’m gonna be bold and say that when he was young, still Koschei, he was an artist, and thought about dropping everything to become an actor on Gallifrey. Time Lords do appreciate art, and have their own plays, but it’s just the same old and boring ones the young people don’t care about. The Master then created a shocking performance that was way ahead of its time and the older Time Lords were so appalled they banned him from writing and presenting plays and that’s his villain origin story

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending, about anything at all (gender identity, sexual or romantic orientation, extended family, sexual preferences like top/bottom/switch, relationship with poetry, seriously anything)

1) The Doctor and the Master married on Gallifrey and the entire show is just them having the most litigious divorce in the universe (still isn’t final because the Master has killed all the judges); 2) Ushas/The Rani is ace; 3) The Deca was a 10 people polyamorous relationship; 4) Romana and Livia were girlfriends at the Academy and they hate each other now because the break up was baad; 5) Romana writes fanfiction; 6) Romana/Leela had a thing in Davidia I KNOW it; 7) Leela pegs Narvin; 8) Brax has a life-size painting of Romana at his collection or a statue or smth; 9) Brax’s dream in Reborn is actually REAL and he’s married to Romana, Leela and Narvin all at the same time

U - 5 favorite characters from 5 different fandoms

I don’t even think I’m in 5 fandoms but

Doctor Who: The Master, The Doctor, Romana, Leela, Sarah Jane, Bill (this was the hardest thing ever)

The X-Files: Mulder, Scully, Monica, and can I add The Lone Gunmen too?

Star Wars: Leia, Obi-Wan, Finn, Poe Dameron and honorable mention to Din Djarin and Grogu

Hannibal: Hannibal, Will, Bev, Alana, Chiyoh

V - 3 OTPs from 3 different fandoms

That’s hard

Doctor Who: thoschei ofc, gallifrey ot4.......... uuhh as you can see i don’t ship many pairings in the show

The X-Files: Mulder and Scully. And whatever Scully and Monica had going on because they definitively flirted

Star Wars: Poe/Finn, Han/Leia, whatever Han/Lando had going on too

W - 5 favorite ships and 5 kinks you like best for said ships

WHATVASHAJSKAJSA ok this is a little embarassing but I don’t have a lot of kinks for many ships... I guess I have some for thoschei like, choking, whipping, blindfolds/gagging, bondage, begging, biting, sem-public, phone sex, dirty talk, body worship, praise kink, etc. Alright alright I know it’s a lot but in my defense they've shown half of these on the show

X - top 5-10 characters who are yoUR PRECIOUS BABIES AND YOU WILL DIE DEFENDING THEM

The Master, Romana, Leela, Brax, Narvin, Bill Potts, Martha Jones, Sarah Jane, Donna Noble, Lucie Miller. No particular order for most of them but the Master is my precious baby and I will die for this mf

Y - What are your secondhand fandoms (fandoms you aren’t in personally but are tangentially familiar with because your friends/people on your dash are in them)

Not many, usually the people I follow are in the same fandoms as I am but I’ve seen some mutuals reblog some Hadestown stuff which is a play that I’ve never seen but definitively would because the protagonists look hot

Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go (prompts optional but encouraged)

I DON’T KNOW WHAT DOES IT MEAN

it took me three hours to do this but it was fun!! thank you bb <3

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arcadianambivalence · 4 years

Text

Babylon Berlin, S3E5

This episode has some of my favorite scenes and one of my least favorite scenes of this show. Let’s take the plunge and do the least-favorite part first.

A mutually distrusting Gereon and Bohm arrive at Tristan Rot’s manor to investigate a lead in the film case. Charlotte is rocking the classic movie eyeliner, and as the three enter the manor, it looks like a silent movie. Danger sepia is back!

What follows can only be described as…a séance orgy led by Dr. Schmidt...

Thankfully, Bohm has had enough and interrupts the charade, but Gereon is off chasing Schmidt...who quickly hypnotizes him.

*deep breath*

There are some sentences I never thought I’d write, but here we are…and all before the opening credits.

I promise the rest of the episode makes more sense.

After that bizarre late-night investigation, Gereon meets Katelbach at the Romanische Cafe. Samuel is less than thrilled to see the man who (like Greta) lied in court, but Gereon hopes evidence from Benda’s file will bring him back into Samuel’s good graces.

There’s a funny moment where Samuel teases that Gereon just missed all the great minds of the time—Thomas Mann, Albert Einstein, even Marlene Dietrich.

I won’t say all is forgiven, but Katelbach and Rath are one step closer to working together again.

Charlotte is riding the high of last night’s success until she realizes the entire department is laughing at her for how she went undercover as a prostitute dancer. Bohm tries to hand her menial work again, but Charlotte pushes for assignments equal to her status. It does not go well. Henning and Czerwinski do not stand up for her or try to talk to her afterward, despite being right there.

Charlotte and Gereon engage in some playful ribbing about his unkempt appearance in the world’s longest elevator ride. He tells her his “family” is away (still keeping up the married pretense), and Charlotte, having seen Helga at the hotel last episode, does not question him. For now.

But who cares about a romantic subplot when there’s a gangster meeting?

All right, which one of youse wise guys is stepping on our turf?

After four episodes of economic uncertainty, Edgar calls all the crime lords together to get someone to confess. Walter loudly supports him, which leads Edgar to suspect Walter is behind his financial woes.

(Give it a few weeks, and something else will be behind his financial woes…)

Meanwhile, everyone’s least favorite couple is spending time in the world’s pinkest hotel room. (It’s pink because red would be too obvious.)

Nyssen is laying on the charm with Helga, but she has some doubts.

“Why do I risk losing everything?” she asks.

“You want to get to know the unknown. The unknown within you,” he replies, then gives a big speech about reaching your potential that could be inspirational...if it didn’t sound like a pitch for a cult.

But this talk of risk does make me think of Gennat’s lecture on crime and the 7 sins. Why do people gamble or try the stock market? Why would Edgar’s unknown enemy risk angering such a dangerous guy? Why take risks with money or with relationships? Greed for a higher return? Lust for excitement? Buffing up your ego against your wounded pride?

Speaking of wounded pride, Tristan is released from questioning after the police find nothing of use during questioning their lead suspect. He mugs for the cameras, a nice contrast to Nyssen’s arrest in season one. Gereon can’t help but laugh at the sight.

The case may be at a dead end, but at least the killer has a nickname in the press: The Phantom of Babelsberg.

Phantom? So the allusions DO pay off!

While the true identity of the Phantom is still unknown, Lotte uncovers Otto’s real name, Horst Kessler.

(*checks notes* Horst. Fitting.)

Horst has his own subplot now, too. He has a crush on a prostitute, Erna. He hopes his friends in high places can give her a better life. Like Nyssen, he gives a speech to the lady he hopes to woo, and when he turns to face the woman he’s white knighting over...she’s asleep.

That’s not...quite the line.

But someone did accept his offer, Greta, and it is the day of her sentencing. In the middle of the episode, we suddenly get a time stamp: the 16th of September, 1929.

And, as you’d imagine when the rules of the episode are broken, we get the verdict: guilty. Greta refuses any chance of appeal. Only then can she raise her eyes to Irmgard’s.

Charlotte is at a loss for any last-minute scheme to save Greta. Only Hindenburg could call off the execution...or a brilliant lawyer, like Hans Litten. But there’s a rub: he’s a lawyer for Red Aid and a rumored communist supporter.

(The writers have cleverly name dropped this actual person in nearly every episode to build up his significance before his official introduction to the plot).

Even with the faintest of hopes that Greta could get an appeal, Gereon counters Lotte against hoping for too much.

I mentioned earlier that this episode has some of my favorite scenes from this show. The first scene was between Katelbach and Rath in the cafe. This next exchange is the second one.

CHARLOTTE: “But Greta was used. She’s no murderer.”

GEREON: “Yes, she is.”

It is perhaps the most important exchange in this series.

...

And...honestly, I could end the review here for the rest of the episode—for the rest of the show. This is the main theme of Babylon Berlin spoken between the two leads. It’s one of the few times where the dialogue in this show seems to be written expressly for the viewers.

Yes, Greta was used. Yes, Greta was tricked. Yes, Greta bitterly regrets the choices she made. But she still made them.

(This case is the years to come in microcosm. Premeditated murder of a Jewish man and his child set into action by someone who knew better, egged on by people who most definitely wanted him dead because he represented something different from their view of the world? It checks out.)

But Greta’s guilt is too much for Charlotte to accept, so she turns on Gereon and brings up his “wife,” who is not away on holiday at all. It’s a petty response, but it hurts Gereon like Charlotte intends.

Gereon tracks down the hotel where Helga is staying and casually breaks into the suite and goes through her personal effects. He startles Moritz, too.

(Gereon, at this rate, you would make a terrible father).

At the Beneke house, Elisabeth notices that Katelbach is not his usual sarcastic self. She tries to get him to share his burden, they have the old “I can’t endanger you” back-and-forth, and at last he relents.

With Elisabeth and Katelbach back to their old routine and Gereon visiting one of his old haunts, it’s starting to feel like season one again. The tap girl from the first season is still there, too. She solemnly tries to imitate his cigarette trick from season one.

(I’m dreading the final appearance of this nameless recurring character, to be honest. I know it’s going to hurt.)

But so much has happened already, and everyone has changed so much. It rings hollow. Dark circles are starting to form under this girl’s eyes, too.

That night, Volcker enters Greta’s cell and sits down with a solemn, almost mournful expression. “I’m your new cell mate.”

Notes:

The Romanische Cafe was a hot spot for the great minds of post-war Berlin (and those hoping to join them). The distinction between “swimmers” and “non-swimmers” was true, too.

Thomas Mann would have won the Nobel Prize for Literature the same year this episode occurs.

Marlene Dietrich would become a household name the following year with The Blue Angel.

#babylon berlin #babylon berlin spoilers #long post

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