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inkskinned · 1 year

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she says he won't let her get a dog, which is fine, because they're in an apartment, and that's the kind of thing people say about their partners. he won't let me get a dog. and you're at a dinner party and you tilt your head a little to the side just like that dog he won't let her get, because is this the thing that's going to upset you? you don't know every corner of their relationship, she could be joking, they could have had so many healthy conversations about the dog, right, and maybe she's not letting herself get the dog because of money and time and whatever. but, like, she did say let

and she wants to move away from his hometown and he wants to stay and then he tells you with a wink and a conspiratorial stage whisper don't worry i'll convince her and she laughs about it - so clearly this is something they laugh about. but you do just stand there and stare at him like what the fuck, man. you can't say what you want to say which is why do you get the final say on everything because they're both obviously aware of the other person's stance on this and have obviously had private conversations about it and what are you going to do about it except make a scene and then he'll be mad at you and call you one of those bitches behind your back and she'll cut you off, which is a loss that doesn't feel worth it just because he makes you a little skeeved out every 3rd comment

and they both agree he just isn't the type to get flowers which is fine because everyone shows love differently, and are you really gonna judge someone based on their sense of individual relationship responsibility? maybe he's constantly cleaning her car and writing her poems and making her furniture or something. maybe she doesn't even like flowers and this is perfect, actually. and no you couldn't date him, obviously, ew; but like, she tells you she's happy. you almost send her a tiktok that says don't be 25 and the cool girl that doesn't need anything, you'll hate not getting flowers at 30, but that's like, starting drama & you shouldn't start drama needlessly.

and you're a little older than her but not so much older you can pull the whole trust me on this one babe thing and besides that wouldn't have worked anyway (when does it ever) and besides you have trauma so you and your therapist both agree that you're always looking for a problem even when there isn't one. and you tell yourself that just because you see them for 15 minutes every month does not mean you can identify every single red flag based on a single shitty half-joking(?) comment

and besides, what are you going to do? she says i actually wanted another stand mixer but thankfully he stops me when i'm about to spend too much money and you're standing there like are you okay? is this normal? is this just something people say? and again - what are you going to do?

to your therapist you try to language it - it's not, like, any of my business. but sometimes, doesn't it feel like - you should do something. there's got to be something, right? you've tried dropping little hints but they sail right through and you've tried having a single serious conversation and she got upset because why does it matter to you, yes it's different but we're happy, it doesn't need to make sense to you and you're like. really unwilling to push a boundary about it anymore; because the truth is that you know logically it shouldn't matter to you, as long as both parties are happy.

and besides, you've been wrong before. it's just... like, every time you see them both, something else happens, some kind of shiver down your spine like do you even hear each other when you talk. it's their strange, bickering orbit. just the way he's on his phone through dinner or watching sports instead of helping in the kitchen or, fuck, another one of these little throwaway comments he makes about we'll see about that, babe. she laughs when he calls her passions stupid shit and meanwhile she gets him tickets to see the knicks and he tells you well at least she's smart about something and still! it's none of your business.

you say get the dog anyway and she laughs. like, this is is you being funny. and not you saying - no really. get the dog. get the dog and get out of here. pack up and start running.

#this btw is not including toxic friendships this is legit just something ive experienced MANY times now #writeblr #you ever have a friend in one of those relationships where ur like #u don't HATE their partner explicitly #but ur like. what the fuck y'all #like the weird part of being an adult is that you can't be like . CERTAIN their relationship is toxic #and also if u move too fast or push too hard u can hurt someone who is already in a scary situation so you just are like #frozen there. laughing awkwardly. saying ''haha..... yeah..... couldn't be me....''#and like u can't tell - is this banter or does he actually think like. he's better than her.#all you can do is be there for your friend and hope they wake up to it #or ... that it really IS good #and it's just odd to you #tbh btw id rather have my friends feel safe coming to me if they have a concern about my relationship #like yes it's not ur business but it also IS bc im making u hang out with them and also ur my friend #it's a weird thing to experience as an adult bc it is such a blurry line and when u spend time #around couples that aren't like ACTUALLY ur friends but instead ''extended friend circle'' ur like #.... i don't know y'all well enough and he just called you a cow. and ur okay with that . and i don't know how to respond.#so ur like :) okay. um. go to couple's counselling i think #but also you are NOT supposed to pass judgement so it's like.... this weird limbo of feeling like you SHOULD say something #but knowing you CANNOT #idk that there's a way to resolve it!!!!!!!! it's probably a different approach person to person #edited my tags bc tumblr's new system fucked em up #PS EDIT: btw i should have said:#the pronouns in this can work in any and every direction. every gender and every sexuality and every #type of relationship tbh. even non-romantic relationships where ur like ''what do u mean ur bff calls u stupid''

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 2 months

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Happy Valentine's Day! (and this blog's first post anniversary!)

#poorly drawn mdzs #better drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #lan wangji #Woah...it's been a whole *year* since I took the leap and uploaded my 'first attempt' art.#It's outdated now but it holds a special place in my heart for the fact it started all of this off.#Calling this 'poorly-drawn' was always about accepting that my art was going to be imperfect and messy - and doing it anyways!#There has been a staggering number of times I have drawn something I almost didn't upload because I didn't think it was 'good enough'#only for someone to say they liked it - or that it made them laugh. And it has helped me realize -#-The worst critic for my work has always been myself. If I listened to it all the time...well we would not be here now B'*)#And now that I have dabbled in other fandoms I can truly see how lucky was to start out with the MXTX fans.#The supportive messages and tags have truly been a guiding force toward my artistic and self improvement.#I really can't describe how grateful I am.#Thank you for seeing something worth rooting for when I was just figuring things out.#Thank you for being sweeter than the candy I have strategically hidden in the nooks and crannies of this house.#But watch out! If you forget to find them we will get ants.#I remembered to not hide chocolate in the bed this year. Yes I know it melted last time. Yes it did stain. I'm still sorry.#Thank you for loving me regardless <3 Even if it looked like I shit the bed real bad.

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5hrignold · 18 days

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i meant to put this together days ago but here’s pim gifs from the new episode let’s all pretend it still just came out lalalala

#I’m about to be so insufferable about this pitiful little thing it could make a grown man cry #anyways #think the 5th one is my favourite i Love the awkward hopeful smile he does #AND THE LAUGH AFTERWARDSSSSNDD i feel like this isn’t actually as unpopular of an opinion that im thinking it is but #i Love that face so much. yknow like when it goes sorta detailed for a second like in the second last gif. that #I love it so much. it only happened like maybe twice in s1 and now its happened 2 times in the first ep im being so fed #HES SO CUUUUTTEEJEJKORUYYFUYU THUGYGUYG #seriously i could just. go on about all of these each for like 20 minutes #ok bue #smiling friends #pim pimling

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tequiilasunriise · 6 months

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When Steph and Cass get married they don’t take the last name Brown (Daddy Issues™️) or Cain (Daddy Issues Prime™️) or even Wayne (Steph absolutely REFUSES to become a Wayne nosirree), but a secret fourth thing (Gordan).

#BARBRA GORDON IS CASS’ MAMA AND TO AN EXTEND STEPH’S TOO OKAY #yes Steph still has Crystal but yall can NOT tell me she didnt lowkey look up to Babs as a secondary mom figure #the only one who is in on the jig is Kate bc shes officating the whole thing bc DUH and the way she fucken WHEEZZEEDDD when Steph explained #the way Kate would stand at the podium and anounce with such a smug grin #looking DIRECTLY at Bruce #‘I pronounce you…. MRS STEPHANIE AND MRS CASSANDRA GORDAN!’#the sheer fucken UPROARRRR #Steph LAUNCHES herself into Cass’ arms and kisses her senselessly as her now wife effortlessly carries her in a bridal carry #babs takes a second to process before instantly losing her NIND bc oh these crazy kids did NOT no no shes not crying #(she is. she so is. her date Dinah is handing her a hankerchief)#the batbros minus dami are hollering and cheering bc YEAHHHH STICK TO THE MANNNN #dami himself is dismissive and muttering about how could anyone throw away the wayne name like this #(on the inside he actually thinks this is pretty funny and must admit Barbra’s last name is a worthy rival to the Wayne name)#Bruce. Bruce is stunned. shell shocked. this girldad just lost his fav kid his princess #Jim is just having a damn good time bro is clapping Bruce on the back and having a good laugh over it all #also does this mean he has two honorary grandkids? no? well suck it bruce theyre my grandkids now #the other gothmanites who were invited like the birds of pret or the gotham city sirens are also all clowning on Brucie Boy #dc #stephcass #cassandra cain #stephanie brown #batfam

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extra-somethin-somethin · 1 month

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If nothing else Koenma is a Kuwabara stan and I'm right there with him o7 (I need to write the kuwameshi fic that goes with this fr)

#maybe one day i'll write that au i have sitting in my head #ever since the comment he made about making kuwa spirit detective instead ive been thinking about it #like...what if yusuke is still recruited same as canon but like #kuwa was already spirit detective? doing assignments for the guys upstairs and all #and they made yusuke help him after his resurrection instead of going solo #and it's hilarious because they still have the ''rivalry'' set in place so it's like #now i gotta be coworkers with this guy i was in a fist fight with last week?#yusuke is like you can't be serious you want me to fight DEMONS with the guy who cant even beat ME? lmaooo okay #kuwa would be more in tune with his powers atp in this au and super offended like hello #why would i use my reiki on a FELLOW HUMAN CHILD you DICK i can hold my own on my assignments just fine #but he's actually really excited to be able to spend time with yusuke doing something besides getting his ass handed to him #they're both genkai's students (she's endlessly annoyed but they grow on her)#i just think it'd be fun cos like #it'd be harder to exclude kazuma from shit if he's literally been involved in this shit before he even met #kurama and hiei #kuwabara isn't really told about yusuke's resurrection so things go mostly the same up til he's brought back #they're both called to koenma's office and it's the spiderman pointing meme 💀#it's koenma's first time seeing kuwa in person as he usually just sends assignments with botan #yusuke has already seen him cos of the resurrection arc #and koenma is SUCH a fanboy ''kuwabara it's such a pleasure. you know you're my best worker 🥺''#''um urameshi am i seeing things or is that a fuckin baby'' yusuke will NOT stop laughing #it fucks koenma up so bad he makes sure he's in his adult form when he's around kuwa next #cos he wants to be the respected boss but also guy that you can chill with!! he's so cringe #okay yeah i need to write this it's such a fun concept #kuwameshi #yu yu hakusho #kuwabara kazuma #yusuke urameshi #koenma

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tswwwit · 11 days

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i have a counter argument to the 'only one person can boop bill' thing, mabel. she's the type of person to slap stickers on people, she would definitely be the type to also boop others occasionally and bill would be no exception. she probably doesn't do it to annoy bill like dipper would, but maybe as a form of a friendly gesture, kind of like those people who will lightly punch friends in the arm when they hang out.

You know what? Good point. Mabel would get away with more than most, as a fun-loving lady! Bill understands those impulses, and being a touchy person! He indulges in similar ones himself.

Though when Bill's not in the mood to be playful and gets booped anyway? The 'sister-in-law' status grants her considerable grace.

#answers #Though in addition to that - Mabel's general chaos and level of Fun Times is something Bill genuinely likes #Catch these two having one too many margaritas and slinging arms over each other's shoulders while singing too loud and off key #She'd have some leeway even without the brother situation #But Mabel gets a pass on things she normally wouldn't purely on the merit of 'this would piss off the spouse'#The thing about Bill is he's genuinely fun to party with - right up until he decides you're the pinata #Even now there are times when she thinks she's doing something 'cute' and Bill was NOT in the mood but just has to grin and bear it #Instead of breaking fingers one by one #Dipper is singular in his ability to get away with Pretty Much Everything #It's love yest but it's also communication and personality I'm afraid #If Bill DID call Dipper out on doing something Too Far he'd get an embarrassed and apologetic husband. With kisses of sorry.#Though in minor circumstances: he starts arguing with him #Turns out that bickering is a better way to deescalate with Bill than most other tactics and Dipper's a pro #Now Bill's gotta think semi-rationally to Win The Argument instead of acting on impulse.#And in the process of debate he not only: learns where his husband's coming from but has time to cool off #Congratulations Dipper! Your Nerdy Logic brain and ability to Rise to a Challenge prevent Bill from going immediately nuclear #Plus showing off that big sexy intellect of yours doesn't hurt #Whereas I see Mabel pushing one of Bill's few boundaries and then deflecting. She ain't great at conflict #Brushing it off and laughing; Jeez it was just for fun!! Lighten up already!#Exactly what Bill says when HE'S being a dick to someone!#Which is why he'd react Very Badly to that excuse #Ha ha! Fun! Of course Bill loves fun! You know what HE thinks is FUN #Barbecue. Flash-fried pork ribs. Where's that stupid pig #Dipper has to disarm that particular bomb and I highly doubt it's a pleasant process

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reineydraws · 26 days

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Saw your Mishanks bodyswap art! Very cute and fun! (Mihawk with a genuine smile on his face so so fun)

I imagine Shanks whould have trouble fighting in Mihawk's body at first since it's been years since he's had two arms

yes absolutely, i imagine that too! conversely, i think mihawk would have a little bit of trouble adjusting his balance and reach with a body missing one arm, as well. it's interesting to think about how they both would be forced to change their fighting style, and whether or not they would exchange swords.

mihawk's been seen using yoru with just one hand so he could probably pull it off with shanks's body. also interesting to think about shanks tripping up on having two arms until he naturally slips into his old fighting style again--or would he? because there's also the question of muscle memory, right? would mihawk's body automatically do things that shanks isn't predisposed to doing, and vice versa?

the other thing i find intriguing about body swapping in one piece is the question of whether or not your haki powers would switch as well. they say haki is spiritual presence, so presumably your haki switches if your spirits switch, but if it's the kind of spirit that's tethered to the presence of the body? then consider mihawk having the strongest conqueror's haki out on the blues, or shanks being able to use observation haki at mihawk's level, practically being able to predict the future--or mihawk, able to counter with shanks's haki-kill technique. food for thought!

#rei replies #one piece #mishanks body swap au #mishanks #akataka #dracule mihawk #shanks #akagami no shanks #red haired shanks #re: the genuine smiling #i also like to think shanks in mihawk's body would have this moment where he realizes his cheeks ache from all the smiling he's doing lol #bc mihawk's facial muscles arent used to doing it #and when they switch back shanks teases mihawk about it ('you exercise so many of your muscles hawky but your cheeks? they're weak!')#and he manages to get a smile out of mihawk that's mihawk's version of a genuine smile and it's softer and less wide but it's honest #and oh shanks is soooooo in love with him hahaha #BY THE WAY ALSO I JUST THOUGHT OF THIS OMG but in this body-swapped au mihawk-as-shanks would 100% shave for shanks #like hell is he gonna let shanks grow *stubble* on *his* face. dracule mihawk with STUBBLE? banish the thought!!!!!!#but shanks doesnt do it up to his standards so there's totally a scene where mihawk and shanks are body swapped in the bathroom #and mihawk is standing too close and shaving his lil pointy sideburns and mustache onto shanks's face #and shanks is having a crisis because that's his own face breathing too close and waaaay to intimately but that look of concentration #is ALL mihawk. shanks can practically his eyes--so familiar from the mirror and wrinkled with laugh lines--glow yellow with how #much mihawk looks like himself right now even in shanks's body.#it's all very strange. shanks has been attracted to mihawk for a long time but it's just blatantly unfair that the first time in YEARS #theyre this close again and it's shanks's own body that he has to look at. on the upside he supposes all he needs to do to ogle #mihawk is to look down. pros and cons pros and cons.#(mihawk isnt having a crisis. mihawk is annoyed that hia beard is easier to do in first person it is to do in the third person.#surely not having to do it reflected in a mirror should be easier and yet for some reason everything feels off! ugh.)#i digress

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ywpd-translations · 26 days

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Ride 768: Doubashi attack!!

Pag 1

1: Orange....

“Less of a hero”? Ah!?

2: Nonsense!!

You've never been a hero to begin with!!

Pag 2

1: Ha..... Hakogaku!!

Even Hakogaku caught up!!

2: Thick.... thick.....

3: A man like this holds the strongest of powers!!

6: I'm thin compared to him!!

That's not true, Oosumi-kun!!

7: Senpai, is he strong?

The Hakogaku member who last year defeated Sohoku's Kaburagi in the first day's sprint is

Pag 3

1: him, Doubashi Masakiyo!!

Buah!!

Pag 4

2: Buah...

So in the end you've decided to run?

3: “Chicken”

Pag 5

1: We're passing by the sign the signals 5km until the sprint line!!

2: Hakone Academy.....!!

3: Ace sprinter, Doubashi!!

Ugh.....

6: We're at “5km left” until the sprint

7: There's not much left

Pag 6

1: It won't take more than “10 minutes”!!

2: So you've come, Doubashi!!

It's “san”!!

San!!

How many times have I told you!!

3: Again!!

Pag 7

1: You want to get revenge against me!!

2: That's how someone who won last year would speak, but you lost against me!!

3: Hahaha, are you being a sore loser?

I'm telling you you're the one who lost!!

4: Whatever, come at me!!

It's not whatever, what are you even thinkin when saying that!!

Are you that self confident

Pag 8

1: We'll definitely win!!

2: Interesting, buah!! I came here to humble you!!

4: Ugh....

He's different.....!! He's much more dangerous now that he's running rather than when I met him this morning in the tent!!

Pag 9

1: Hakone Academy's Doubashi!! He's so overwhelmingly intimidating!!

It's like the pressure of a huge raging bull that has its eyes on you!!

2: Just by looking at me he makes me feel like my hands and feet are restrained

Issa fought against someone like him last year!?

4: No!!

5: Calm down

Steady your breathing

6: Swallow your nerves, Danchiku Ryuuhou!!

Pag 10

1: He moved on his own!!

Everyone is so overpowered by Hakogaku that they're not moving!!

For me, on the contrary

2: It's a chance!!

Nagoya's Komao used the curve and jumped ahead

He plans on going ahead alone!!

Pag 11

3: The sprint line is 5km from here!!

Horse acceleration!!

I think I can aim for a breakaway victory!!

4: That guy has a reputation for running solo!!

Gallop!!

This is bad!!

5: Doubashi has an incredible pressure!? But isn't this kind of things

6: just fears that we create ourselves!?

7: I can keep going like this!!

Doubashi isn't worth fearing!!

Pag 13

1: Where are you going?

3: Uaaaaaaagh

Pag 14

1: I thought I was 200m ahead of him, and yet

2: I could have let you go freely, but if you keep wandering around in front of my eyes like that

3: I can't win comfortably!!

Wa-

Pag 15

1: Hakogaku's Doubashi accelerated in an instant and passed Nagoya!!

Gallop!!

2: Together with Sohoku!!

3: Ah!? “Sohoku”!? Tch!! He reacted at the same time as me...?

4: You're the only one who can react at the same speed as me in this leading pack

Orange!!

Pag 16

2: Chicken!!

Pag 17

2: Orange is still behind!?

3: Did he give an order to this guy?

4: And he still managed to keep up with my speed of reaction!?

6: What, this guy's eyes, this running

Pag 18

1: What happened, your expression has changed!!

So this guy wasn't a chicken!!

2: Sorry, Doubashi-san

We'll take this sprint

3: The two of us!!

Pag 19

1: Garuaagh

2: After stopping Nagoya down, Sohoku number 5 jumped out from there

3: and attacked again!!

Tch

4: Hahaha

I told you!!

Pag 20

1: “We'll definitely win”!!

2: Orange!!

Hahaha, what we're aiming for is to be

3: “Japan's number one”!!

4: I'll make you Japan number two!!

#yowamushi pedal #yowamushi pedal translations #yowapeda #yowapeda manga #yowamushi pedal manga #yowamushi pedal spoilers #ride 768 #kaburagi keeps being the funniest person around i adore him asdhsdgfkd #how tf did he became 100 times more stupid since aoyagi left #did aoyagi take aways all of his braincells when he left????#was he actually kaburagi's brain????#anyway i adore him and i adora his relationship with doubashi ashdlsdfjhlds #their whole exchange in this chapter made me laugh so much i took longer than necessary to translate that part lmao #the best way to defeat your opponent is just to pretend youve won already against the #mental battle won: kabu 1 doubashi 0 #now leaving those two dumbasses aside for a moment #DANCHIKUUUUU YOU FUCKING GO BOYYYYY #its his time to shine you go boy show us (and doubashi) what youve got #i love this thing they have where kabu gives the order #bc one would think danchiku (being the one with a brain) would do that but nope! kabu does #and when it comes down to it he is pretty good at it #btw lets not forget that kiji is about to arrive too #and hes going to be the last - which means by kabu's logic that hes the hero #which means that hes gonna win????#idk i feel like thats whats gonna happen

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mikakuna · 26 days

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the absolute horror and offence in his face at alfred taking away his dinner is perfectly captured

#ok now let's get sad: jason has food issues from his time on the streets so he doesn't deal well with food being taken from him #he initially thinks he did something wrong and that's why alfred is taking away his food #anyways #i just know as a kid jason couldn't control his facial expressions #he doesn't have to say a single word for everyone to know what he's thinking #if he's pissed at you trust you will know #he gives the best stink eye #the first time jason made an exaggerated facial expression bruce has the laugh of his life #who is this sassy child #for context: the bat logo lit up in the sky when they were just about to eat dinner #jason todd #red hood #batman #alfred pennyworth #second robin #robin ii #robin jason todd #dc #dc comics

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midnight-in-town · 2 years

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Weirdly enough, I’m with Twilight on this, not necessarily on the setup possibility, but on the idea that Melinda’s fishy and that, maybe, she figured out who Yor was (Anya’s mom/Loid’s wife) as she initially invited her to come along.

After all, the main theme of this story is about fake identities, lies and deceiving others. Since the Desmonds and the Forgers are clearly mirroring each other narratively speaking, as the antagonists vs main characters, it just wouldn’t surprise me if Donovan and Melinda were as untraditional, as a married couple, as Loid and Yor are.

Let me explain: until two weeks ago, almost no reader really thought Melinda would appear any time soon nor that she would be as relevant as she’s turning out to be. Why is that? Because Sensei had a lot of fun so far writing a story in which Berlint’s high society is depicted as very traditional (with the men having the important jobs while women... idk, take care of the house or go shopping?).

Of course, that’s something the made-up family of Loid, Yor and Anya only pretends to live up to, as they subvert all these tropes with pride. For example, Loid is the one who cooks and sews, Yor is the strongest character in the whole series and Anya’s on a whole other level of "gifted”.

That’s why I just wouldn’t be surprised if the Desmond family only pretended to be on the same level of “traditional” that the rest of their peers expect them to be, only for Melinda to weigh as heavily in the plot as her husband (if not more!).

In other words, sure, Donovan Desmond is the head of an ultra nationalist conservative party, but does this mean Melinda was just introduced to play the dutiful wife act?

maybe (after all, WISE has nothing on her and she does sound lonely, with most of her friends being from before she was First Lady)

but maybe not because that’s only a cover that she deceives others with, as she plays a big part in her husband’s war plans or in an entirely different business

TL;DR

If the ladies are actually stronger and scarier than their husband in this series, then Melinda is a real foe we’ll have to watch out for, as a good match up for Yor.

Stay tuned, this chapter was insane lmao.

#spy x family #melinda desmond #yor forger #loid forger #donovan desmond #anya forger #damian desmond #sxf theory #my analysis #sxf66 #someone asked me whether Melinda is shaking or actually trying to stifle a laugh in this last scene #and i have no freaking idea because she's really tough to read #that's why i'd rather be on the safe side by suspecting her as much as Donovan #the lack of parenting might not be Donovan being a super strict dude she maybe doesn't give a damn either because she'd rather plan for war #waiting for the plot twist when Donovan reveals he did all this because he was truly inspired by his wife's ideals #or maybe sensei is not that untraditional and Melinda just is quite invested in her husband's ideas #but i love the idea that it's the other way around because for example Yor and Garden are on a much more dangerous scale than Wise and Loid #even if ultimately the story is really about Loid's mission #all that to say for now I think Melinda is as equally shady as Donovan and sensei can prove me right or wrong whenever

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citrus-soda · 6 months

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environmental storytelling

#I AM JUST NOW FINDING OUT ABOUT PUTATA.#do you think the Spanish and Italian dub staff laughed when they got the initial script for this guy. the whore.#keroro gunso

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hillerska-official · 3 months

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Something that always really resonated with me in The Perks of Being A Wallflower was the line right near the end when Charlie says "there are people who forget what it's like to be 16 once you turn 17" and maybe it's just because I was 16 the first time I watched the movie and I felt like nobody ever listened to me because I was young, but I promised myself I would not forget what it was like to be 16, or any age that I had been, and that I would extend the respect and understanding that I so craved to others. And I forget to do that sometimes, but whenever I play the perks soundtrack on vinyl (cause I'm a 2014 hipster in my spare time) that speech plays into the last track and I hear it and remember that I need to do that. So anyways if you're 16 and you feel like nobody ever listens to you or remembers what being 16 felt like I'm sorry. I promise I do. Relish in the good parts while you have them and know the bad will be over soon 💚

#in the end i look back really fondly at that time in my life #and i KNOW a lot of bad was happening (it was 2016 lmfao) plus i was having a ton of personal issues #but when i think about what i was doing at age 16? i was going to play rehearsal and forming inside jokes that i still laugh at #and i was discovering new music and becoming close with some of my dearest friends #people i consider family now even if we arent close anymore #so i know its frustrating i really do. but dancing with your friends in the theatre will always be stronger #anyways this movie fucks me up everytime so thanks for that G (iykyk)#not yr #personal #the perks of being a wallflower #prince queuehelm

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polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup · 4 months

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what would megumi’s life have been if he was actually raised by the zenin from day one? like either gojo lost the custody battle or they were able to scoop him up before gojo ever reached them. i doubt they would want to keep tsumiki with them so she’s not there for little baby megs.

i think it would be really cool to see a zenin raised megumi interacting with his fellow classmates when he attends the school, not to mention the contrast between him and gojo. like on paper they both should have gotten the same treatment-being pampered and spoiled rotten but we also know that the zenin think that hurting little kids makes them stronger so it would be super interesting to see megumi realise that the stuff that happened to him wasn’t normal and for gojo to have a guilt trip bc he wasn’t able to help megumi when he needed someone to help him the most.

So I have a fanfic that I’ve half written (no idea if I’ll ever finish it—I’d love to, it’s just hard to find the time) about EXACTLY THAT that I talked about in this post for an ask game.

That being said, that entire thing happens from Tsumiki’s perspective, and I agree with you—I don’t think the Zenin would have ever actually taken her too. They don’t want her. She’s not Zenin. She’s not a sorcerer. They only bought Megumi. For the most part, Megumi is absent from that post, and you asked about Megumi. So this is what I think would happen on Megumi's side of that post I linked.

It comes down to two things:

1. He is never, ever happy with the Zenin.

2. He never lets go of his sister.

Megumi’s old enough to remember Tsumiki when the Zenin take him away. He's old enough to love her. And I think that Megumi loves very quietly, but he also loves very violently. He wouldn't let his sister hold his hand on the walk to school, but he would sacrifice himself for her future.

I think the Zenin took him from his sister, and I think he kicked and screamed and wasn't strong enough. I think they thought he would forget her eventually.

And then I think he bit most of the Zenin Clan.

At the end of the day, what Megumi wanted was the one thing the Zenin were not willing to give him. They were never like the Gojo clan, they were never going to pamper him, but there are a great many things in this world that they would give the Ten Shadows finally returned to them. But they would not give him a non-sorcerer, non-Zenin sister who would only be a weakness to him. They refused to let him have any contact with his sister, and that was the source of a lot of what soured.

Any Megumi that was taken in by the Zenin would have been taken in to Naobito's household directly. He would be announced as the one who finally inherited their most cherished technique, and he would be declared heir, and the Zenin would call him beloved for it.

They would keep him in a room that was large and empty and almost always dark, and he wouldn't be allowed to decide when he slept or woke, and the door would always be locked from the outside. They would give him a wardrobe of expensive clothes that he hated, and he would never get to pick which of them he wore.

Megumi would hate them. He would hate all of them.

He's just not the type to be comfortable with or enjoy the adoration of others--especially when it's not backed up by genuine love. Megumi is someone who very much values sincerity and depth to emotion--it's one of the reasons why he seems to respect Yuuji so much. Yuuji is a good person who follows through with what he says. He's not just going to talk about wanting to save people--he's there making the sacrifices as he does it.

The Zenin do not actually love him. And he knows it. He's experienced love before, and this isn't it.

They love the idea of him. The fantasy of him that lives in their heads. He has no interest in being their little god prince to contend with the Gojo's own. He knows who he is, and it's not this. He wants to go home. He wants to find his sister again. He doesn't want to do this anymore.

And I think that's a feeling Megumi never escape: he just didn't want to do this anymore.

Megumi would feel like a bug pinned beneath glass in the Zenin compound. He would constantly have people managing him--when he ate, what he ate, what he wore, when he slept, when he woke, when he trained, what he did. Having to become a jujutsu sorcerer signified an inherent loss of control, but it's nothing compared to the sheer objectification that he goes through when the Zenin have exclusive control over him.

He has no power of what clothes he wears. How his hair is styled. His schedule, his diet, the people he speaks too--he's suffocating and the Zenin are just increasing pressure on him.

I don't think Gojo ever thought that would be Megumi's life.

We’re gonna just have this imagining exist in the same world as the Tsumiki centric fic described in the linked post, and in that, the reason why Gojo never took him in was because he didn’t know Megumi had a sister. He showed up, saw the divine dogs, realized Megumi had the Ten Shadows, and decided he couldn’t do this. He was a mess. He was grieving Suguru and Haibara. Megumi looked just like the man who killed Riko, and apparently inherited the fucking Ten Shadows of all the goddamn things. The Zenin would lose their shit, and Gojo didn’t have the energy to fight and told himself he didn’t need to, because if Megumi was the Ten Shadows he’d be cared for like a prince with the Zenin. He turned around and left and spent the rest of his life with Megumi in the back of his mind, always nagging him with whether he made the right decision. It wasn’t until Maki got there and made a few worrisome references to Megumi's standard of living that he started to really worry that he had made the wrong one, and it wasn't until he found out about Tsumiki that he knew it was the wrong decision.

It's like this: The Zenin hurt Megumi in every world.

It would be bad no matter what, but it really gets bad because Megumi refuses to stop trying to get back to Tsumiki. She's his sister. They didn't have anyone or anything in this world, but they had each other, and he couldn't let these people just take her away. He’s feral about it. He refuses to fit the mold they keep trying to cram him in. He’s trying to scale the walls to escape. He’s increasingly desperate and angry and the Zenin are getting more and more frustrated the longer he fights them. He’s the heir to the clan, and he can’t stop trying to leave it to get back to some random girl who isn’t his real sister and isn’t someone they’ll ever allow him to have.

It gets bad.

They put him under increasingly strict levels of control. He’s constantly being trained, which means he's constantly being hurt. He’s not allowed to speak to anyone without the clan head’s approval. He is under absolutely constant guard after he manages to get over the wall and halfway to his old neighborhood before they catch him again. Tsumiki’s name is not allowed to be said aloud, or his old name. He forgets his name used to be Fushiguro, but he doesn’t forget Tsumiki. He doesn’t let himself.

I think it escalates until it hits a breaking point. Megumi becomes increasingly self-destructive and non-responsive to everything they try. They push him to extremes that start risking permanent damage.

I think Megumi would try to hurt himself, eventually.

He wouldn't be in his right mind. He's in the most shit situation possible. He's undergoing pretty severe abuse. He'd be at the end of his rope from the lack of control over his own life, and he'd be spiteful as hell towards the Zenin. And the only thing he has to hurt them with is himself.

As a character, Megumi has always considered his own sacrifice as an acceptable means to the end of getting back at someone. Mahoraga, intrinsically, requires him killing himself as a way of killing someone else. He'd hurt himself if it was the only way he had of hurting them.

Naobito would cover it up. He'd never, ever want the rest of the clan to find out that it happened. It was already bad enough that Megumi openly hated them--he couldn't have the Zenin seeing any vulnerability in what was meant to be their most powerful member. He'd put Megumi in total lockdown until he could make it all go away.

Then they'd make a deal.

A binding vow. Megumi could never purposefully hurt himself again. He could never again try to leverage his own safety against the clan.

And in exchange, Tsumiki would be taken care of.

The last time Megumi saw his sister, she was on a sinking ship. They were running out of food, money, options--he doesn't know if she even has food anymore. He doesn't know if she lost the apartment or if there's still running water.

They're not letting him see her. But they are letting him take care of her. He can sacrifice another piece of control over himself, and she'll never have to worry about money again. They'll pay for her housing, her food, her education, for her every desire for as long as she lives. The trust the Zenin set up for her will be a generous one, and it will be managed meticulously by a trustee who can make sure she'll be provided for until she's old and grey. And Naobito will vow to never hurt her or send someone else to hurt her. She'll be safe. She'll be taken care of.

Megumi makes the deal.

In the end, the deal's what sort of breaks him.

Because he doesn't promise to stop looking for her, but the Zenin manage to make it a part of the terms anyway. When they approach Tsumiki's mother with the offer to be her family's beneficiary, they include a requirement that Tsumiki be moved to another city entirely with no forwarding address given. She needs to be somewhere that Megumi can never find her again.

The Zenin keep the old apartment. They pay the rent every month. And the next time Megumi manages to make it off compound, they let him make it all the way there before dragging him home. They let him see the empty apartment with all its empty rooms.

Naobito wants him to know that Tsumiki's gone. He wants him to know that he'll never find her again.

He tries to run a few more times after that, but he never makes it very far. He doesn't have anywhere to go.

In the linked post, Megumi finds Tsumiki, just once. She's on a class trip. He's on one of his very few and far between allowed excursions off the compound grounds, and he sees her in the crowd and recognizes her, and he ducks away from his escort before anyone can stop him.

She remembers him. He didn't think she would do that.

She tries to save him. He didn't think she would do that either.

She still loves him. And he was always too afraid to hope she would do that.

It goes the same way it did the first time. There's a car, and the Zenin shove him in it. She's on the outside, and he's trapped within, and he wishes she didn't scream so loudly when it happens. The sound never seems to leave his dreams.

His sister still loves him. Naoya hits him in the back of the head. He wakes up, and it was like she was never there at all.

But they hit him harder, after. Like they're trying to beat the memory of her out of him. He has even less freedom, when he already had next to none at all.

But he still has a sister. He has a place to go that isn't here. He just has to figure out where that is.

He wouldn't really have anyone in the Zenin clan. Most people are just... weird about him. Naoya's violently abusive. Naobito's weird and violently abusive. Everyone wants him to be someone he's not.

Maki would be his favorite.

He doesn't care about whether she's got cursed energy--his sister didn't have any. And she's obviously strong. She doesn't treat him like a divine blessing or try to force him to act a certain way. I think they would have genuinely liked each other, but kept each other at a distance. They're both trapped in an abusive situation and keep themselves safe by keeping everyone else at arm's length.

He would have been happy to see her get out, though. He would have told her that she could have his spot as heir or head or whatever when she came back if she wanted it. She would have told him that if he ever got out... well, fuck it. They could be something then. Family. Whatever the fuck they weren't allowed to be here.

She would have told him she's sorry, and she would have meant it. The only one she she regretted more than Megumi was Maki. He would have told her not to be, that if she dared to be sorry for getting out that he would never forgive her, and he would have meant that too.

I think his relationship with his own techinque would be very different in a world where the Zenin raised him. In canon, his issue is that he doesn't view himself as someone who could be powerful or win in the long run, but in this world, all he ever hears is how powerful he is. Pride of the fucking Zenin. The most powerful of them in centuries. Meant to rival Gojo fucking Satoru himself.

I think his real issue would be controlling it.

His technique would be a source of negative associations for him. It's the reason why the Zenin took him away. Most of his interactions with it have involved getting beaten and hurt by either his family or a high-level curse they shoved him in front of. I think he'd have a lot more firepower under his belt than at the start of canon, but he'd have less of a fine tuned control over it.

He lost control over his own life because of his shadows. It think that would manifest in struggling to control his own shikigami at times. he's not as in-sync with them as he is in canon.

Eventually, he'd go to Jujutsu High. He would be the only one in the first year class at the beginning, just like in canon. And he'd finally meet Gojo Satoru, the man he's supposed to topple.

He looks at Megumi really goddamn weird.

He's... enthusiastic. About. Teaching. He guesses. And constantly asking prying questions about the Zenin, but not in the sort of way he'd expect from a rival. In the sort of way he'd expect from someone concerned about him. Which is stupid. And annoying. And weird. He keeps a distance from everyone. They've all heard about the Zenin clan heir, and he has no interest in having to fit or break whatever mold they've already cast him in. He's better off on his own.

Maki's there. She's cordial where other people can see it, and in private, she takes care of him in a way that's terrifyingly close to familial. He's not sure if he likes it. He's not Mai, and she's not Tsumiki, and they both want someone they can't have.

She isn't sorry she left. She is sorry she left him. He can hate her for it all he goddamn pleases.

Of course, if this is in the same world as the linked post, Megumi finds Tsumiki again. He finds her in Sendai.

He gets to keep her, this time.

Gojo Satoru, of all the goddamn people, intervenes and becomes his sister's benefactor. It's super fucking weird. He won't stop looking at Megumi strangely. He won't stop insisting that he didn't know he had a sister, like that matters.

That would sort of be the first time in a long time that life actually gets better for Megumi.

I think he would ask to go by Fushiguro again, once he asks Tsumiki what his name used to be. He'd ask her if she minded it, him taking the name again, and he'd ask the rest of the school to call him Fushiguro instead of Zenin.

Predictably enough, Naobito loses his shit when he finds out, but it's not nearly as big of a pain in the ass as he thinks it is? Because Gojo intervenes.

Gojo keeps intervening.

It drives Megumi nuts, because if anyone was supposed to hate him, it was this guy. If anyone was supposed to be against him, it was this guy. This is the guy he was supposed to rival. This is the guy who killed his shitheel bio dad.

Gojo's just... good to him. He keeps him safe. He keeps him safe from his own goddamn family, and that's--no one's ever done that. No one's ever protected him from the Zenin.

The Zenin try to remove him from the Tokyo campus and move him to Kyoto the second they find out Tsumiki's there, and Gojo just... says no. It causes an uproar, and he doesn't fucking budge. It's treading dangerously close to him kidnapping the Zenin clan heir, his refusal to let them remove him from the Tokyo campus, and he doesn't care about whatever problems it causes him.

Megumi's his student. He doesn't want to leave. So Gojo won't let them take him.

He personally goes to Kyoto and collects him, the one time the Zenin force him into a car and move him when Gojo's off on a mission. He tells the higher ups to get fucked. He changes Megumi's student I.D. to read Fushiguro, and he causes problems for Yaga and the assistants until they start calling him Fushiguro as well.

Megumi's different with the other students once his sister is there.

He's more connected with them. He becomes best friends with Kugisaki and Itadori. He gets closer with the second years. He's visibly happier, and it sort of casts in sharp contrast how unhappy he was before this.

And Gojo? Gojo's so goddamn sorry. He didn't know megumi had a sister.

The thing is that now that both Tsumiki and Megumi are on campus, it sort of haunts Gojo with what could have been. They're both fantastic kids--funny, smart, resourceful. And it's painful watching them try to rebuild what was taken from them. And it could have just. never happened. Because he could have saved them both. He could have been their family.

It's sort of painfully obvious the Zenin abused Megumi, and it fucking haunts him. He doesn't even have to read into Megumi's behavior--he sees it happen, right in front of him, with how they try to control him and push him around. He wants to kill them for it. He wants to hate himself for it. He could have saved Megumi and he just. He didn't.

He wishes he did.