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alexiaugustin · 1 year

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season two of shadow and bone should have shown absolutely every last fucking person that this show is a soulless piece of trash adaptation that doesn’t understand nor gives two fucks about the source material they're allegedly trying to adapt and that the people behind this show were all lying to your faces when they apologized for the things that upset people for 24 hours before season one streamed two years ago, because after all this show still erases the trauma of a woman’s sexual abuse story and they are still sexualizing bisexual people and they are still fucking everything about these characters and their dynamics up.

season one should have upset most people enough to stop stanning this show but during the last two years we have learned that there’s A Lot that the tv industry can do that people won’t care about. an ableist, colorist and fatphobic and age inaccurate casting that hurts people by taking their representation away is something people won’t care about. complex characters being reduced to an inch of what they actually are like so they and their relationship can neatly fit into archetypes, tropes and ao3 tags is something people won’t care about. showrunners getting exposed for having their white stunt doubles do brownface is something people won’t care about. a show having a dumb script that makes everyone on the show look like a fucking loser is something people won’t care about.

and now season two is out and they did everything they already did in season one wrong but it’s somehow still so much worse. after watching season one i felt like the deeply offensive and wrong things about this show were still explainable, season two actually has me at loss for words because of how bad it is. because of how there’s not a single thing they did right about the soc books; not the characters, not their relationships, not their storyline, nor the world they live in. i could give a few examples like the fact that kaz told inej that feeling as if she’s not really free from the menagerie where she was sex trafficked as a child "isn’t her fight anymore, it’s his“ just because pekka rollins owns her now. or the fact that wylan and jesper met via a one night stand and were fucking by episode four even tho they don’t even kiss before the end of ck. or that they turned pekka rollins into a super villain who wants to kill kaz even though the whole point of his role in the books is that he has no idea why kaz has it out for him and he doesn’t care abt these teenagers.

i could explain all these and so many more examples in depth, and still it wouldn’t be enough to capture the the true scope of how bad and truly horrible this show is. and yet. and yet when i log into tumblr dot com or twitter dot com i see gifsets of this show, of the relationships they don’t understand, of the characters they butchered and i'm seeing people rooting for another season of this nonsense. at this point this show feels like a social experiment that’s trying to see how far people will go to defend a deeply offensive and atrociously bad piece of media. and during the last 48 hours i've come to realize that some of y'all will never be able to be pushed too far. some of y’all had their brains rotted away a long time ago when tiktok and ao3 made you believe that media is nothing more than the consumption of aesthetics, tropes and archetypes and that it’s a good thing if these are responsible for the death of art. if you claim to love the book and the show at the same time you are lying to yourself because that is simply impossible. you have, in short, truly lost the fucking plot.

#anti shadow and bone #im going to put this post in all the tags idgaf stupid ppl Pisa me off so bad #shadow and bone #six of crows #wesper #kanej #helnik #kaz Brekker #wylan can eck #inej ghafa #jesper fahey #sab

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thefactsofthematter · 1 year

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delanceys. what is their psychology. why are they the way they are. why do they wanna punch down on those barely a peg below them on the class ladder. why do they hate jack specifically. go go go -@jack-kellys

ty @jack-kellys for enabling me!! i’ll lay down some backstory thoughts here, and i got another ask where i’ll get into my thoughts abt their personalities n stuff!!

okay here we go:

- so. they’re the only people jack knows who spent longer in the refuge than he did. they were already in there the first time he got put in, and didn’t get out until after his second stint there, when wiesel finally came to get them (claiming to be their long-lost uncle, when he really asked snyder if he could take a couple kids to put to work at the newspaper, and was given 14 year old oscar and 12 year old morris just to get them out of the way).

- spending a good chunk of their formative years in jail severely fucked up their worldview and ways of thinking. their dad dropped them off himself, not wanting anything to do with them after their mom died, and they’ve only had each other ever since.

- they spent over 3 years in there, surviving by keeping to themselves and never starting fights, only finishing them. they watched jack constantly mouth off at the guards and go kicking and screaming whenever he got dragged out of the room for some kind of punishment - and they resented him for it, bc the guards would often be much more aggressive and mean after incidents like that. jack kelly came into the refuge, made things worse for everyone, and then found some clever way to sneak out… TWICE. it was infuriating.

- so they finally got out, and started their new job at the world, only to find out that jack fucking kelly was a newsie now, and a popular one at that. he had the same smart mouth that got him in trouble in the refuge, but all it did out here was make the other kids laugh - and he often put it to use against oscar and morris, with cutting comments and mean jokes that felt unwarranted at first, pushing them to really start bullying jack and the newsies in return.

- their job at the newspaper is miserable, but there’s no escaping it - they spend long days counting and bundling papers, and then they have to stand there and hand them out to the newsies, who just seem like they have so much fun. those kids live with their friends in the lodging house, and they roam the streets all day, and they’re always laughing and joking… while oscar and morris share a tiny bedroom at wiesel’s place, and don’t often get to be around anyone other than each other. they’re paid only in room and board - if they were to try to run away and leave the job, they’d be homeless and penniless, with both wiesel and snyder out to chase them down.

- a detail i’m gonna elaborate on eventually is that i think oscar, as the older brother, is much angrier than morris is. his entire life has been about keeping morris safe… something he’s largely failed at. no matter what he does, he’s forced to see his brother scared and hurt and exhausted and beaten-down, practically all the time. morris, while just as big and strong as his brother, is scared of wiesel, scared of snyder, sometimes even scared of oscar’s bad moods and temper, meaning all of oscar’s efforts to protect him typically backfire and make things worse.

- so they’re angry. they punch down because that’s all that’s ever been done to them. they don’t care about anyone other than each other, and they resent jack and the newsies for a life that looks better than their own isolated one, despite knowing that it’s just as hard out there for them. the older they get, the more people they start to take their rage out on - like beating up on trolley strikers, which is the only type of extra work wiesel allows them to pick up in the evenings, or doing snyder’s dirty work and dragging kids to the refuge as some kind of revenge for everything they’ve gone through.

- they suck, right? but in their situation, who wouldn’t? it’s hard to feel bad for them, given how cruel they are in canon, but it’s definitely interesting to take a look at where they might’ve come from. these poor fellas just never managed to catch a break, and it ruined them :(

#i feel like this is pretty standard as far as delancey backstories go tbh but it was fun to piece together my own details #like god. the poor kids never had a chance #morris delancey #oscar delancey #the delancey brothers

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ashes-in-a-meadow · 2 years

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okay so this is gonna have SPOILERS so yeah don’t read if you don’t want them also warning that this is lowkey long sorry abt that i just typed whatever came to mind🤷🏽

okay so now that i’ve had a minute(and smoked some weed) i want to talk about lestat and what just clicked to me as the weed hit

okay so to start i want to make sure this is not read as apologizing or excusing what lestat did, i am simply explaining how i interpreted why he did what he did because this is not the time for lestat apologists to “uwu my baby didn’t mean it” this shit and if y’all do y’all weird asl…anyways on to my analysis(is that what this is??)

so my friend has said before she’s a very emotional person and when people hurt her feelings she’s said that she wants to physically hurt them the way they hurt her emotionally so they know how she feels and that immediately came to me as i was smoking and thought about how far lestat went when he was beating louis

to me it came off as, like my friend has said, he saw louis choosing claudia over him and then he desperately screams “louis!” and he lashed out on claudia for trying to take louis away, but then louis jumped on him and i think if we could’ve seen his face when it happened it would’ve been one of surprise and hurt that louis would do that right??

okay, so then he’s telling louis that he’s trying to hold back, but then he gives in and beats the shit out of him and idk it just came to as he was trying to hurt louis as much as he physically could to make louis feel like he felt emotionally

then when they flew up and lestat told louis to tell him that he’ll never love him and said that it would “make it easier”, he’s so used to people leaving him that he believes louis doesn’t love him and wants to hear it from his mouth so that he can “let him go” now do i think he would’ve actually killed louis?? nah, that man is down bad for louis, but do i think he would’ve let louis die?? yeah🤷🏽 he was so hurt and distraught that he would lose louis to claudia that he probably would’ve let it happen and then felt guilty about it later

also for everyone who thinks he doesn’t, louis does love lestat it’s fucking obvious but they don’t love the same way and that’s where the problem comes from between them, lestat fell in love with louis as soon as he met him but louis had been still learning to love lestat when claudia left and it doesn’t make it any better that they’re horrible at communicating their feelings with each other, louis doesn’t like being vulnerable and neither does lestat and they show it differently

louis will let himself get consumed by whatever is troubling him and lestat will try to do anything to ignore his problems, so basically a match made in hell cause they’re never going to learn how to love each other the right way if they don’t let themselves be vulnerable

also want to touch upon him and antoinette cause🤦🏽that mf never learns…i understand that he wanted sex or just non-sexual intimacy and he should’ve communicated that(ik his bitch ass would never) but cheating?? all of y’all that wanted to press “louis hooking up with jonah was worse cause he used to have feelings for him yadayadayada” can now pipe down and for the record it’s weird that y’all want to say what louis did was worse like lestat didn’t cheat on louis in his face in their house BEFORE proposing an open relationship🤦🏽 but whatever

and the trailer for the next ep?? they (i bet it was claudia tho) kicked lestat out😭😭 mf showing up with gifts😭bro ik that’s how you show you care but mf just COMMUNICATE AND APOLOGIZE PLEASE IM BEGGING THEM TO LEARN HOW TO FUCKING TALK TO EACH OTHER😭😭😭 *sighs* the whole ending of that ep was expected(i had got it spoiled a while ago) but at the same time it was a little more than what i was expecting but i understand the shock value part and the intention behind showing that not everything is rainbows and flowers for them(i mean it’s a vampire show where they kill people and has gore) just kinda wish that it didn’t leave me wanting someone to kill or beat the shit out of lestat😭

#interview with the vampire #amc iwtv #iwtv #amc interview with the vampire #lestat de lioncourt #louis de pointe du lac #claudia iwtv #iwtv claudia #amc iwtv spoilers #iwtv ep 5 spoilers #interview with the vampire episode 5 spoilers #interview with the vampire ep 5 spoilers #yeah how lestat’s gonna get louis to forgive him idk #maybe he’ll show off his magic mike moves or sum

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weaselbeaselpants · 9 months

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How and why Lily is a bad fan and an even worse critic

I want to get this rant thing over and done with as it's not about Lily Orchard being an actual depolorable person, just more rants about her bad takes and bad criticisms;

In case you didn't know, Poppy and Zena of TransGirlTherapy have interviewed Lily's sibling Courtney and a few other victims; I saw someone in their chat for the stream of it try and post about Lily's infamous writing tips and I just really REALLY want to put a big divider up right now between mine and other people's comparatively lowstakes beef w her and these very serious allegations. I'd be horrified by them even if they were of a creator I loved; these are not funny and ranting ontop of Lily's rants should be a few steps down from the really important stuff that needs to be addressed w her. So with all that being said:

I think her outdated "SU is Garbage and here’s Why" video is a great encapsulation of everything wrong with Lily Orchard’s critical theory, attitude, and brand.

The whole video lacks a real thesis statement for an essaybreakdown. It feels really just like a woman having a giant fan rant at a show she used to like but now doesn’t-- because, that is what it is. BUT, that isn’t easy to listen to. Lefttuber or not, other essayist/watchalongs/media analysis-channels who talk about a thing for five hours will at least try and make their feelings actually collected. Hbomberguy’s Sherlock vid, YMS’s Kimbaspiracy debacle, Lindsay Ellis’ Hobbit three parter; all these vids are glorified fan rants extended to hours long and flowered with essay reasoning and research. They work because they're self-aware that they're taking the thing they are looking at too seriously but are committing anyway and preferably having some kind of fun or skill doing so, which is why I love to watch these kinds of videos. Lily Orchard’s thoughts all feel way too sporadic and focused on being spicy rather than coming together, and that hurts her point because it makes even her most serious call out against SU feel petty.

She gets stuff wrong. Concrete was designed by black artist Lamar Abrams, not Rebecca Sugar who is white. Ftr I’m not pointing that out as some kind of “got you/can’t complain/Sugar never did anything wrong”-clap back; It’s just a fact. AND a missed oppertunity on Lily's part bcuz she could have pointed out how, even if Concrete wasn’t designed by Sugar, it was her in control of the artbook+ Rebecca’s drawn questionable depictions of black people before w she herself is not black and doesn’t get a ‘my friend is-’ clearance just because, and finally just the fact that +the white SU fandom dismissing this problem because they don’t want to be critical about their show.

That Lily doesn’t go into this counter-counter argument whatsoever tells me Lily’s true intentions: and that’s not to point out potential racism in the show, but to dunk on Sugar even more. Lily’s entire point about Concrete, as well as her handling of the poorly handled subjects in the show like the Human Zoo, which other critics, fans and critical fans have done a much better job at breaking down, all of it feels less like a beatdown of how problematic something is but her trying to spin Sugar into the worst fucking person because she wants to hate her. Nowhere is that more clear than in her now infamous ending shade abt Sugar being a fascist.

No, Lily did not literally call Sugar an actual Nazi. Her exact words on screen were a joking “do I think she is one, nah; would I think she is one w/o context? Yeah”.

In an alt timeline I wouldn’t think anything of this take. I get that Lily was trying to hyperbolic and relishing in her self aware pettiness -kinda like how Hbomber is with his over-the-top hatred of Steven Moffat- The issue is we don’t live in an alt timeline. Lily didn’t see how people were taking her too seriously and/or acting like Sugar was a nezi on her behalf +care that her edgy joke at the end of her rant could do some real damage, or even care that it just didn’t look good on her. She didn’t reupload the vid with a disclaimer tacked on, she didn’t tack on a pinned comment; she didn't write down a longer video disc to explain herself.

Instead she threw everyone who might have gotten perturbed by this comment under the bus, said it was all our own faults, and made it very clear she was not going to apologize for it.

Do u dislike ppl treating Sugar like she’s a Nazi and want to discourage that behavior, even in small ways? Fuck you. You’re a stan cuz Lily said so.

Are you Jewish and maybe think implying those exact words are uncalled for? Eat shit! Lily knows better than you and can talk about your life and issues better than you can because other gentiles who aren’t her have failed to do so….which means she’s actually speaking truth????

Lily Orchard could never eat a slice of humble pie and admit that she made a mistake because the only people who’ve ever criticized her and gotten real attention for it are part of the problem (i.e. 4chan, ED). Vaush type commentary bros who keep fucking misgendering her and taking more issue w her leftism that her authoritarianism.

'If obviously she has nothing to apologize for and she is totally over the accusations or her making accusations…which is why she keeps alluding to SU being fascist as a “joke”. The 'joke is on Sugar and all the people who could possibly be offended by Lily’s coining of what’s fascist so…it’s not really a self aware joke at all. She’s still going “harr harr, it’s YOUR fault that you read my comment that way and also who cares it’s not serious. RSugar is tumblr famous which means she’s a millionaire and can’t face harassment.” Tl;dr : Lily got flaq for going too far with a point and rather than just apologizing like a grown up, doubled down.

The reason Natalie (who doesn’t even cover media why is Lily so invested in Contrapoints???wv) and Lindsay will always be better yts than Lily is because they at least try to take some ownership of what they say. Does that always excuse them? No. Are they maybe still a little too apologetic of those on their side? Maybe. But all that is leagues above what Lily doesn't even attempt to do.

Fandoms, people, creators, ships and characters are punching bags to Lily Orchard. She can’t just dislike Rebecca Sugar because for the valid reasons ppl have w Sugar, which there are a LOT of- Lily has to make Sugar, and anyone who doesn’t find her joke at Sugar’s expense, into the worst possible thing.

Lily can not make a joke or a real criticism to save her life. She is only venom and she has to double down on her points until they have no meaning. Lily Orchard’s activism and analysis aren’t about the things she says she’s fighting against; they’re about her and how everyone who dislikes her is the same kind of awful person and deserving of scorn for disagreeing with her. Lily’s the kind of person who abuses selfcare that good people get from watching Monica Lewinski’s Tedtalk, and basically came out the other end with an “I’m right and shouldn’t apologize for anything EVER”.

#lily orchard #discourse #cartoon fandom #cartoon fandoms

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kitsugami · 16 days

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GRGRGGFGH ok so bioshock right. Well eleanor lamb is from bioshock 2 but the base knowleghe you need of bioshock is that This Motherfucker made a city underwater bc he sucks ass. and used the final pam morals of No Rules Just Right. WELL they discover The Slug That Gives You Superpowers and go hrmm how could we make a profit from this (the city is capitlism world except its worse than captilism bc the guy thought american captilism was Too good to poor people) anyway so they figure out if they put the slug in little girls they can make super power drugs. WELL now they have a bunch of freakish little girls running around and people keep killing the little girls to get the drugs which is No Bueno. so theyre like “hey!! lets take our prisoners and brainwash them so heavily they genuinely cant think of anything Except protecting the girls!” yay! ok so this chick Sofia Lamb comes to rapture to be an awesome psychiatrist who loves to help poor people and also shes a single mom. Well andrew ryan the guy who made the city is like hrm. helping poor people is bad. and has her arrested. and then custody of her daughter Eleanor goes to this other chick who Loses Her Immediately and now shes being taken care of by this other guy whos like man fuck them kids and sells eleanor to the little sister orphanage which is really a sort of factory to make the freak girls. except this is Before they figure out the “brainwash prisoners to protect the girls” so theyre still figuring that out. WELL they figure it out by expirimenting on this one guy Yay! so they do it some more to other guys and As It Turns Out if the brainwash dudes get seperated from their little sister too long they either Die or Go Insane oh fuck! anyway back to subject delta whos the first guy to have that bond and eleanor the first one to. also have that bond. ok so now eleanor is Really attatched to subject delta and calls him her father also shes like 7 years old. anyway so theyre chilling Yayy! except her mother sofia lamb escapes from prison and is like fuck youuu die thats MY daughter. die. forever. and kills subject delta and does Things so that eleanor isnt a little sister anymore shes just a little girl. ok so while delta is dead sofias like hrmm wouldnt it be awesome if we created the perfect person whos super awesome by injecting them with Every Drug? well this goes bad. also sofia is a cult leader now. so sofias like Well eleanor my young daughter should be immune to the drug bc she was exposed to the drug. so actually im going to raise my daughter completely isolated from everyone so she wont be tainted and the cult is going to revolve around this little girl sacrificing herself to be the perfect most special guy in the world. yay! Well 10 years pass eleanor is a Teenager now and figures out how to revive subject delta bc kind of her mom sucks. this is the start of the plot of bioshock 2 Well subject delta goes on this epic journey to save his adoptive daughter and makes Moral Decisions which is to say the player gets to make moral decisions. and this seemingly effects nothign until closer to the end where when (spoilers) delta saves eleanor by turning her into a badass big sister (girls with big knives) u get little Hints of oh ! oh my choices mattered ! bc eleanor will either be viscously murdering everything in her path Including Children and laughing maniacally abt it OR going lalala..dont hurt my dad ok..and i save the children..anyway skip to the end there are like a bunch of endings but the one my profile pic is inspired by is where (more spoilers) subject delta dies but also so does eleanors mom But Also so do all the little sisters but eleanor escaped the city so eleanor is Completely Alone and also she was born and raised in the city so this is her first time on the surface and basically bioshock 2 is like undertale 5 years before undertale

jaw dropp...this sounds so interesting ill likely never get into bioshock but that sounds cool as hell

#i didnt answer earlier bcs i fell asleep 😭 i pulled an all nighter on sunday so i was so tired #kitsu posts #kitsu asks

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mattodore · 1 year

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7 (u can skip this if u want to im not mean), 8, 13, 17, 20, 21, 22, 24, 25 for delphi and alessandria....this is so many im sorry im just incredibly curious abt them 🫶

8. What were their first impressions of each other?

delphi's first impression of alessandria was that she needed to be careful around them. delphi comes into alessandria's life not long after the last of alessandria's family has been hunted off, so alessandria is... very close to the wolf. the way they move and speak is very animalistic and pained, like she was struggling to control herself (and alessandria was... when the last of their family died off they became the alpha and were fighting it bad).

alessandria's first impression of delphi was that she was bold. delphi found alessandria with the intent of alessandria turning her and wasn't shy about asking for it. i also think alessandria could tell that there was an underlying fear behind delphi's desire for the bite. those impressions aside, when delphi got closer and when alessandria started to really focus, they noticed the way delphi smelled and the way she... felt? to them? it didn't take ria more than that to realize delphi was their mate.

13. Name something they would never do for the other person.

despite the love there and the desire to help, i don't think either of them will ever be able to heal the full extent of each other's wounds.

delphi will never be able to fully understand the werewolf bond that's between her and alessandria. it's only something a born wolf can really experience.

there's a lot alessandria will do for delphi, but i think her limit is hurting someone who's innocent.

17 What senses (sights, smells, feelings, etc). remind them of each other?

the sight of blood reminds delphi of alessandria. the sound of leaves rustling remind her of alessandria. the feeling of warmth as well. and then there's her strength, her fangs, her claws, her pointed ears, her hunger... they all make her think of alessandria, because all of it was given to her by them.

this answer is very convoluted for alessandria. everything reminds them of delphi, because they always feel connected to her. the werewolf soulmate bond is amplified by the fact that delphi is one of her pack... alessandria can feel delphi no matter where she is. but outside of that, i think she's reminded of delphi most when she feels stretched very thin and needs to focus to not lose control. if they've shifted into wolf form, delphi is all they can think about aside from the hunger.

20. What is a promise they have made to each other?

delphi has promised not to go where alessandria can't follow.

alessandria has promised to protect delphi when she can't protect herself.

21. How have they changed each other for the better/for the worse?

for the better, delphi has become less guarded because of alessandria (as well as dionte... not nicholas tho lmao she doesn't trust him fully). for the worse, delphi is a werewolf now and can easily enact violence in a way she couldn't before. morally speaking... it's probably not great how much delphi loves causing pain. it's sexy tho so. kjdfnfhkjdfnh

for the better, alessandria can control the wolf easier with delphi in her life. obviously having dionte and nicholas in their pack also helps, but delphi was the first to join them on their journey out of the wild. for the worse... delphi is like the devil on their shoulder. delphi makes alessandria uncharacteristically cruel... ria does have her limits, though.

22. If their lives were what was originally intended at birth, would they have still fallen in love?

well... originally delphi was human, which i don't think would have been a problem. alessandria was always going to be bonded to delphi, no matter what delphi was. originally, though, alessandria wasn't an alpha. they were a beta in a very large and established family of werewolves. i imagine if delphi came to alessandria when their family was still around, alessandria would never have given delphi the bite. i think that would have caused problems between them. delphi needed the bite to feel like she was safe from the people who've hurt her. despite the dynamic between alessandria as an alpha and delphi as her beta, i think there's an equality there. but if only alessandria were a wolf... i think delphi would rely on ria to a degree that wouldn't be good for them. i think alessandria also wouldn't know what to do with that kind of responsibility without the alpha to guide her and balance it out.

24. What is something they have each had to forgive the other for?

delphi has had to forgive alessandria for the natural control they have over her as her alpha.

alessandria has had to forgive delphi for her brutality and cruelty.

25. What moves do they know work on the other?

delphi knows alessandria goes crazy for her when she puts her hair up. she can lightly stroke at the scar on her throat that alessandria gave her and will make eyes at alessandria from across the room if she wants it bad. if she presses her chest to alessandria's arm while holding onto them, that's also a sure-fire way to get thrown down onto the nearest available space. lmao. i also think delphi knows how much it turns alessandria on when she gets strategic.

alessandria can sense all of what delphi likes... lmao. they know how much delphi loves displays of strength so they'll casually lift her up or easily move her out of the way when they want to mess with her. alessandria likes to lift the end of their shirt up and use it to wipe sweat off their face, which they can sense turns delphi on like crazyyy, most likely because of the visible happy trail that leads up from their pants. when alessandria growls it makes delphi shake... their voice is a big turn on for delphi, that's for sure.

7. Write a ~300 word love scene for them.

i would never skip a question from you friend <3 just putting it under the cut for length (never mind that this whole ask is pretty long regardless...)

the scar extends down from elbow to wrist, edges raised and rough-hewn, skin lighter there where flesh has been torn apart and pieced back together. delphi brushes her finger along it, feeling the way alessandria tenses, their shoulders squaring up. delphi’s eyes move up from the scar to read alessandria’s face.

“what’s this one from?” she asks, watching the gold in alessandria’s eyes burn. she taps her finger down onto the scar, prodding. “am i hurting you?”

they’re in bed together, and delphi’s hair is still wet from the shower, fat drops of water falling over alessandria’s back as she leans over them. the silk of her robe slides down her shoulder and even when otherwise occupied by touch, alessandria’s eyes still flick toward the newly exposed skin, wolfish and single minded in that way. sprawled languidly on their stomach, alessandria lays naked under delphi, temple resting on one arm, skin still flushed, hair still disheveled from delphi’s hands.

“it’s only sensitive,” alessandria tells her, and their voice is almost bottomless, rumbling, words slightly obscured by the fangs that still haven’t receded.

delphi bites her lip and runs her palm up to alessandria’s shoulder, beginning to knead into muscle. she waits quitely for alessandria to answer her first question, patient and hungry for more knowledge of her creator.

it takes a long few moments, alessandria’s eyes going far away, but when they start to answer, delphi can feel a tug on the chord that ties them together, an unusual creaking in her head, an old door swinging ajar, something that tells her she needs to offer comfort.

“the hunter that slaughtered my father. he wrenched the wind chimes off the front porch and shoved one of them into my arm as we fell off the steps. the blood poured all over his hand until i could hardly tell whose blood it was between us.” a beat. “my uncle carved those wind chimes himself.”

alessandria goes silent and delphi keeps her hand on their shoulder, pressing and rubbing in gentle circles. she lets this information sit for a moment, contemplating.

“did you kill him?” she asks, pulse beginning to pick up.

alessandria's eyes flash red when they grin, all teeth and wolf, eyes dead of warmth.

“i fed his flesh to his dogs.”

#river dipping #asks #lucidicer #oc extras #alessandria zeferino #delphi sol #blur into you #lykos #writing #very funny after i read number seven i was like ...? a sex scene...? sjhghdjhgbsdgjh #it did NAWT mean that dkjhslfg #so instead here's delphi asking about one of alessandria's more gnarly scars <3 #in my head it's a scene from the earlier part of their relationship #so delphi hadn't yet learned everything about alessandria and i think she was still trying to gather as much information as she could #i think early on alessandria is more wolf than human... so they're very jerky... they stalk and watch ykwim...#it took them a long time to be drawn back to who they where before becoming the alpha and experiencing so much loss #ugh........................#i think delphi was getting them there and then when dionte comes along alessandria really begins to change...#delphi is more of an equal to them because she's their mate yk... but dionte... he's someone alessandria needs to take care of #and watch over... his arrival makes alessandria fully accept the alpha role... and when they're no longer denying part of themself they #finally start to feel more normal and less on edge #another reason why everyone babies dionte lmao #he's good for the pack #.......alessandria uses they/she pronouns interchangeably btw #if that wasn't like... obvious.

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tacticalhimbo · 7 months

Text

so!! i finished watching runs of phantom liberty... and vin's getting a new canon. this dlc and its new ending are canon for him.

i just think the storyline does a great job at showing what vin really wants, and what it takes for him to realize that.

dlc storyline spoilers under the cut, even if they're pretty out of context/explained horribly.

also if ya see this twice very sorry posted this on my rp blog too but i post abt vinny a lot here so y'all get the character development too ♡ i'm so fucking normal (lie)

when this happens is after? you talk to the vdb. so vin's already been up shit's creek by this point. there's the shit with ev. the shit with takemura. the shit with the cados. he's been tugged around.

and then? then his relic gets hacked! and he's told to get his ass to the most dangerous part of nc? alone? yeah. yeah. he's not happy. johnny isn't either, but at this point vin's at a low and honestly could see him following songbird hoping to die.

and then he gets everything thrown on him.

- hey i need your help saving the president.

- hey im the president i need your help getting out of here, the attack came from the inside and i dont trust anybody.

- hey youre now a federal intelligence agent and tour making contact with a sleeper agent bc my runner that contacted you went missing thx.

he's already there, fuck it. maybe some gonk-brain will kill him. but. but!

there is a part of him still kinda hopeful. maybe one more step and he gets the help he needs. one more contact. one more task. and it just. keeps. going.

he's pulled into the monotonous bullshit he tried so hard to escape from. being pulled around on all these fronts again, especially as it comes out songbird is the traitor; this has been in the works for what? months now? because she knows about militech's own version of soulkiller and she, being led on by meyers, was used as a bow and made a portal for the blackwall to conduct govt espionage.

but it just. keeps. getting. worse!

songbird leaves him for dead. reed is stonewalling him. alex is fucking dead. johnny's quieter than usual. he's all alone in fucking dogtown and the only person he feels REMOTE TRUST for is feeding him nothing. and it sucks! but he's still trying to believe that he'll get that out.

and there's so many good convos with the characters in this dlc about morality, mortality, and consequence.

and it ultimately ends with vin trusting reed and them breaking songbird outta maxtac custody, bc surprise the blackwall connection makes you go cyberpsycho. and she makes it to the derelict militech lab that u go into alone alone, bc johnny gets sliced and ur comms are fucked. and there's this whole sequence of almost dying, being hunted alien isolation style by a blackwall ai controlled spider mech, and then you find songbird and she BEGS YOU to kill her. BEGS. and vin just... cant.

it's ironic coming from him considering so many of his dumb decisions are an expression of his suicidality, but he helps. he continues to help!

and even after, he's treated like shit. reed keeps stonewalling him. president myers is a cunt who cordially reminds him of the oath he took and the nice, tight leash she has around his neck.

and then? when he's finally "rescued"? ||he doesnt even say goodbye to anyone. and that hurts the most. arasaka ending sucked, sure, but this? no rooftop talk with misty. no goodbye to vik. just a text explaining he'll be outta town for a bit. and then it ends up being TWO YEARS. HE'S IN A COMA FOR TWO YEARS. ALONE. IN LANGLEY.

and when he wakes up, reed continues. to. stonewall. him. keeps it vague. apologizes, sure, but even now he cannot bring himself to actually care. which is understandable when you look at his character but. vin is livid.

there was no closure. no guarantee he'd even wake up. he could have up and died and nobody would ever fucking know!

and then he gets back to nc and... oh.

oh things changed. things really changed:

- vik became a corpo doc, working for some zetatech corp. he says he didn't have a choice.

- misty is just gone. you run into her after getting jumped by street mercs, and she's on her way to poland.

- arasaka? fucking gone. takemura and hanako went into everything alone and *hanako just up and fucking died.* no explanation. dunno if yori killed her or what. but takemura is in hiding now bc they believe he killed hanako *and* saburo. then yori stepped down as ceo all together.

- didnt see the others' calls so idk what happens with panam, judy, and river, but it can't be much better for them.

and i just...

the whole idea of vin being forced into the background being both a relief and a terror to him is so... it's so good. the idea that he lost everything again, but he now has control over that.

it fucks him up, that's for sure. the dialog you have with reed? with vik? with misty? some real shit. he's on the verge of that suicidality again, but he lived. he can live. he has control over that now.

and it's for the first time in a long time, considering the fact he worked with arasaka counter-intel. he awaited death for so long, knowing it could come at any second, that there's a... bitterness. in losing that feeling. a confusion in the fact he can just. exist without consequence.

this is really the meat of it tho. the last bit. the fact that vin is both the exact same man he was and someone entirely new.

the fact that he changed and didn't. that he's messy and there is no truly happy ending for him, that he's just... human.

that in the end, he still fucked over johnny (except at least in the arasaka ending, he was kinda understanding to a point. here? he's just angry. dejected. vin's last words to him were that he couldn't forgive him for the shit he's done to his body) and still LOST the game of life.

he still lost. but he lost in the best way possible.

the legend of v is out there, but he doesn't have to be that. live up to it. he can just be... him. and i think that's all he really wants, in the end. to learn who he is and to be him. a chance to just exist without consequence. to not have to make choices on who gets harmed and why. to make choices of dire urgency. to just... breathe.

it just took so much for him to realize that, and it's going to weigh on him for god knows how long (if not his whole life, whatever remains of it).

#txt #my ocs #cw spoilers #phantom liberty spoilers #vinposting

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just-fandomthings · 1 year

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touch telepath au? im v curious abt that!!!

Ahhh thank you, Abby!! 💜 admittedly, I wrote a little idea for this au back in August…and then completely forgot it existed 😅 but this idea has so much potential for an angsty fic…

uhh so I initially only had a few paragraphs of notes jotted down for this au idea, but as I was transferring them here, an actual story began to take shape in my mind?? I may or may not have an actual outline for this now (thank you so much, Abby, the credit for inspiring me absolutely goes to you 💜)

So, here’s a little something I wrote:

Tony is a touch telepath--

This leaves him touch-starved, for how can he touch anyone when doing so will mean knowing what they’re thinking/feeling? His touch telepathy is his greatest secret, has been ever since Howard and Maria realized when he was three. He grows up keeping to himself, making a show but never letting people close--

And then there’s Rhodey. Rhodey is safe.

Tony has felt safe before - in his mother’s arms, when he was with Jarvis and Ana. Whenever Aunt Peggy came for a visit. To a somewhat lesser extent, with Obie, whenever he came over when Tony was growing up. But Rhodey...

Rhodey is safe. He is the first person Tony chooses to tell; for a long time, he is the only person Tony tells.

Then there’s Sunset, who used him for technological advancements for her own gain. And Tiberius, who used their friendship against him, getting the media to see him as a playboy alcoholic and nothing else.

It’s not the first time Tony heard someone’s thoughts while they were hurting him (every kidnapping let him know exactly what his captors had planned for him, which, while did help him escape, did also let him know exactly what his captors had planned for him) but it’s the first of many betrayals.

He learns the pain of remembering is worse when the ghost of their touch to his skin brings back the force of their cruel intent.

Sex is... well. It’s easier to just have one-night stands, where people care more about how good he is in bed, than about him himself. It hurts less, in the long run.

Or so he tells himself.

At least it prevents him from getting betrayed again.

And then comes Pepper.

Pepper, he slowly comes to realize, is safe. So is Happy.

Afghanistan is...

The phantom touch of Yinsen’s hand will haunt him every time he allows himself to shake someone’s hand for the rest of his life. Even in Afghanistan, even at their first conscious encounter, after everything Yinsen knew he was responsible for, Yinsen had cared for him when they’d shook hands.

Rhodey is the only one he allows to treat him on the plane ride home.

Everything else about Afghanistan is better unsaid.

Obie touches him only twice when he takes the reactor from his chest. Once, on the back of his head, as he gently guides his head to the backrest of the sofa. It’s a painfully tender gesture; the final bow.

The second is an iron-clad grip to his chin that forces him to meet his eyes.

That’s when he realizes Obie never cared about him at all.

#tony stark #my fanfic #ABBY I CANNOT THANK YOU ENOUGH THANK YOUUU #i do have actual notes for introducing the avengers and how tony's touch telepathy creates distances between him and the others #as he avoids being touched/touching them which means him refusing to do training exercises or sitting near someone during movie nights #doing battles he's always in armor so it's fine the team works perfectly together as a well-oiled machine #but tony...#he just can't tell them #doesn't know how to tell them #cue the rest of my notes and angst and some fighting that comes from a place of hurt (steve) and fear (tony)#with bucky and sam eventually being introduced to the story bc i love them #and then eventually a winteriron endgame? i honestly might just write this as gen with found family being the focus of the story #anyway enough of my rambling #thank you again abby <3

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tojikai · 2 years

Note

Hi there. Just finished your lastet update, and all I can say is WTFFFF💀💢😡🔥ADADADJKJKJKJL.

Okay, but like wtf? Rie, girl, I really want to believe that you're simply a flawed human being whose reaction is normal for someone in your position , but you've gone too fucking far this time. No one would confess something huge and horrible like that to a person who just woke up from a goddamn coma 💢. I don't believe for a second that she's just that oblivious and dumb. It's extremely deliberate on her part now, if not outright malicious. Idk her full intention for doing this but it's either bc (out of good will) she feels more guilty after Shoko calling her and Satoru out on their cheating and the knowledge of Y/N cutting, but I really doubt so bc her attitude is incredibly sus here, or it's bc she finally let her jealousy take over, so she intentionally said that to spite Y/N (her love rival) or... Satoru (for lying to her abt visiting Y/N and generally, caring for Y/N more). Either way, thanks a lot, Rie. Y/N wants to be in coma for good now 😊. Love you 😘. Not. 😡🔥👎😠.

And honestly, while this will prove to break Y/N even more 😊, Satoru... I don't think he can excuse Rie or himself out of this one. Not this. The reason everything in this fic happened. It's not a secret anymore. The cat is out of the bag now. Time to face the consequences for what you did, Hoejo. And I honestly believe that Satoru will feel extremely betrayed by Rie, good intention or not. Throughout this chapter, all he did were defending and excusing Rie from everything she did. He didn't want her to be the bad guy here. But this? Rie did something that surely will affect him directly and hurt Y/N emotionally? How could he keep taking her side after this? No, no fucking way. Hoejo is fucking clueless, but even he must have feel when enough is enough. Oh boy, I smell a big fight between them coming up. He will definitely question her why the hell would she do that. Maybe he can forgive her for saying the truth bc she's feeling guilty (aka another excuse 🙄), but this will look like something really intentional on her part in order to hurt Y/N. He definitely won't let Rie get away with that.

And dang boy, you lied to Rie not once, but twice, but you also thought about your ex while having sex with your current girlfriend? The signs are so obvious now it makes me go hehehehehehehehe 😈🙊🙈😈 the whole time reading this. Go on, Kai, let break this relationship even further. I'm not only in the "let's break Gojo" squad now. I'm in the "let's fuck both Satoru and Rie up" army 😈. I get that many want to give Rie the benefit of the doubt, but I say, Rie sympathizers are going to be even less now after this chapter. None of her action makes me or the comment section feel sorry for her. I hope karma will come to you fast, bitch 😠😈. Or maybe not since you have a hand in making things worse for yourself 🙈🙄.

Also, I hope that Y/N, after hearing the truth, while it will definitely hurt a lot, will find the strength to rethink, resolve, stand up, heal, and move on from Satoru ass. Girlie is being trampled on enough already. She needs to learn how to think for herself now. Her fucking parents, her ungrateful ex. She needs to flush them down the toilet and starts things over. She deserves healing and inner peace. And please, "Y/N x Happiness" is the only ship I can support rn bc I really hope Y/N can get her own happy ending in this story. I still love Suguru tho lol. But that's just a little treat on the side 😉.

Thank you so much for this. The update is really fast this time, so I hope you don't rush yourself into writing this chap. You just recovered recently, right 😰? Don't push yourself too much and take it easy with the writing. At least, with you, I have the luxury of knowing there's an update schedule, but not so much with other writers, so don't you burn yourself out, okay? But this chapter is such a nice surprise when you wake in the morning. I felt myself goddamn trembling reading the new chap it's kinda embarrassing, and I had to send you this lengthy ask right away after finishing bc I couldn't contain my thoughts any longer. Your writing is fantastic as always. Once again, look forward to the next update 😘☺

the keyboard smash + emojis 😭😭😭😭😭 but yeah, Rie real reason for suddenly saying that to yn is still unclear, but for now readers can only assume that it's her being inconsiderate of yn's condition. as for Satoru's reaction to that, it can really say a lot about him, it can change the way people see him, IF he does it right. but as i said before, any intense emotion or feeling can be blinding 👀 and yeah yn's parents are workaholics. that's part of the reason why she's so emotionally dependent on others :((

anyways THANK YOU SO MUCH bb~ i really appreciate that <33 I wasn't able to write for two days because of my fever last week but im much better now !! please take care of yourself as well and i hope you're doing great !! <33

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chryzure-archive · 2 years

Note

hmm what r some of ur favourite tropes to write about or to read? what kind of twists or smthing do u like for those tropes owo. FAVE THINGS TO PUT IN CHARACTER DESIGNS??? top 5 book characters….i like ur book opinions so much <3

EXTREMELY CLICHÉ, but i adore “trapped in a small space together” trope…. writing it is fun, reading it is fun—because you’re Stuck There!!! so it’s time to forcibly progress this relationship!!! BONUS POINTS IF ONE IS CLAUSTROPHOBIC, so the other has to think of ways to distract them!!! when it’s done right… oh yeah, it’s EXCELLENT.

also wearing the other one’s clothes… irl, it jst makes me happy when ppl steal my clothes (not in a romantic sense, jst more in a !!!!!! we’re friends and you trust me and i trust you!!!!!), so obvi i LOVE it in writing too!! i esp love chryzure where chrysi’s wearing azure’s sweaters and she’s so tiny in them!! plus vice versa, where azure wears chrysi’s oversized hoodies and it fits him nicely and she’s like “oh…….. that looks very nice on you………….” struck through the heart with an arrow!!! blame cupid!!!

oh, wait wait, more serious answer—writing and reading forced arranged marriage that slowly turns to love is also something i love. the mirror visitor series did it impeccably, but i ESP love when it’s like “i can’t tell if you actually love me or if the marriage made you change your mind” “who cares? we’re together now and i love you because of it. why deny ourselves this?” AHHHH, GOING CRAZY, GOING WILD.

okay hmmm, some fun twists i have on tropes…. suddenly, i have forgotten every story idea or scene snippet i have thought abt ever.

OH, OKAY, WAIT I HAVE ONE!!! so yk the trope where someone pulls their friend/lover off someone they’re beating up??? well, azure will pull chrysi off someone she is violently attacking (it’s deserved) and she’ll jst dangle in his arms like a blood-stained kitten. he doesn’t put her down. her feet can’t reach the ground :((( and then, similar to the second lilo & stitch movie, if the person makes a snarky comment that pisses both azure and chrysi off, he’ll jst go “actually.” and release chrysi to attack once more. he supports chrysi’s violence 🖤

another (less happy) one is the idea that true love DOES conquer all…. but there’s a price for it :((( so, YES, azure WILL save chrysi—he’ll defy all odds and fix everything!!!… but he’s gone for good now. he’s dead. he can’t come back and haunt chrysi—she doesn’t even get the relief of being able to see his ghost. that’s the case in the chrysigil story… azure breaks all laws of nature to save his chryseis, and that’s all he has the strength for. it hurts, but i love it. the love didn’t last, but it was still there! it mattered because it was beautiful and fragile and it was love—doesn’t mean it wins every time. stephanie simply couldn’t understand such a concept, smh

I ADOREEEE red eyes + curly/messy hair, DARK EYES, MY BELOVED!!!! all my characters all have some sort of freckle or mole or facial mark because i think faces are so fascinating…… i love having unnatural hair colors on my characters as well!!!! and SMILES, making them unique!! like a scar on the lip, or a freckle, or dimples. long hair is also something i LOVE. drawing long hair is SO FUN FOR ME.

ooohhh, top five book characters??? difficult! i’ll make it worse by not mentioning any of chrysi’s book bfs because that’s cheating. also, this isn’t in any particular order, it’s jst in order of who i recall!

lucy carlyle from lockwood and co. !!!! i think she’s such a fun protag, esp since she’s so coarse and rude and imperfect and headstrong!!! i love her, i want to adopt her :)

MISTRESS LUCK, WAIT, HOW COULD I FORGET HER…..: LOVE HER SOSOSO MUCH, SHE DESERVED MORE SCENES. FOR MY PLEASURE. DEEPLY UPSET…. I MISS HER :(((((((( finale’s only flaw was that there was not more of Her 🥰

sir percy blakeney frm the scarlet pimpernel because wow!!!! vigilante leader pretending to be The Stupidest, Most Vain Man Alive?????? the BLUEPRINT for chrysi and her vigilante shenanigans, esp in my 1800s zombie au!!!! everything he does is SO funny to me & i also love all the different iterations of him (i actually endorse both the movie and the musical, despite both being different from the book. i need to read the other books in that series so i can judge those as well!!)

tea & kalen frm the bone witch…. i cannot separate them. they are deeply in love. and they’re so adoring of each other that it makes me cry…. rin chupeco knew what they were doing + i think they should write more romances like that actually……… i do need to read their other books because i love their writing style sm!!!

………. now i know he committed so many crimes and everything he did was inadvisable and i think he probably deserved what happened to him, BUT i love my wet pathetic little meow meow augustine lawrence from the death of jane lawrence…… i will accept everything he’s done. i support his actions. the scene where he’s crying through the walls + begging for help??! the scene where he’s coughing + sweaty + feverish from the curse???? ALRIGHTY THEN. he’s such a little bastard, but he’s one step away frm bursting into tears at all times that it’s okay!!! i endorse it!!!!!!!!!! :)

THANK YOU ALSO, i was jst ranting to a friend abt my book opinions, so it makes my heart warm + happy that you like my book opinions 🥰🥰🥰 i will continue to have them :>

#.asks #m.moon🎀#TY SM BELLADONNA!!!!!!!!! i have many many opinions #IM SURE I COULDVE THOUGHT OF MORE TROPE REVERSALS/MORE TROPES I LIKE #BUT MY VRAIN WENT WINDOWS EXE SOUND ON ME THE MOMENT I TRIED TO THINK OF THINGS IVE READ… heartbreaking :((

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troglobite · 1 year

Text

i’m not in that bad of a mood but a bunch of body/health complaints below the cut bc i wanna bitch abt em

my life is basically a series of: i need to do x to help y, but that causes z, and i need to do b to help z, but then that causes or worsens c

like i’m not unique, it’s just sort of stupid and i’m Tired. lol

it’s gotten v bad thanks to the pandemic and also this house/town i think? long story

anyway

rn i’m dealing with:

my mental health sucks, i need to get out more

well i can’t get out bc of covid so : /

then i could at least exercise more, bc exercising also will help my cholesterol which isn’t great (but is stable and not getting worse, at least)

okay great except that my MCAS means my sweat is out of fucking control so exercising is miserable

well i could just take it easy then, right?

well no bc going for a walk makes me the sweatiest person in the world

well i mean that’s just an inconvenience, right?

nope, bc i have an issue that is exacerbated by excessive sweating, so i can’t sweat too much, either.

(i also have ANOTHER issue in the same area as the previous issue that is only solved by direct contact with a heating pad, which as you might imagine, CAUSES HEAT AND SWEATING which EXACERBATES THE OTHER PROBLEM so that one in particular has been super fucking fun to navigate)

okay then i exercise inside

well there’s not really anywhere to do that, everywhere is too small, and i ALSO sweat INSIDE a lot so it doesn’t matter

okay well then--aha! i’ll just exercise in the shower!

okay great!

it’s working!

wait why are my feet randomly seizing and in terrible pain while i’m walking arou--oh right. EDS. and exercising without shoes is. bad.

okay well i just need to start working on my EDS and take it easy right?

okay except i can’t do the physical therapy/muldowney method bc when i started, it caused a lot of bladder and pelvic pain that got worse w stress.

and i’m trying stress management but everything is a fucking nightmare.

i had to stop PT so that i’d stop feeling like i had the world’s worst UTI whenever i got remotely irritated.

and turns out that’s bc i have an undiagnosed autoimmune disorder

so until i figure out what that is...i can’t do anything for my EDS...or my MCAS...so i’m just stuck taking 2 zyrtec every day and topping up with benadryl hoping that i can breathe and stop getting hives

and that i can exercise and feel good and be happy, but also still manage to walk around without extreme pain

hahaha. ha.

i hate everything.

i’m literally covered in hives. all over my face neck ears and scalp. everywhere. they’re unstoppable. fucking. fuck.

oh wait one more

so i have steroid cream that works to get rid of my hives for the most part

but it’s like playing whack-a-mole bc more just pop up in place of the ones i got rid of

and then what’s more

i can’t really put them on my scalp

bc my scalp sweats so much (bc lol i also have to use dandruff shampoo) so it runs the risk of hurting me

bc i had to put some on some hives that were vaguely near but not on my eyes, and bc they were hot and/or sweaty recently before i put the cream on, my skin burned for two days straight

no relief to be had

so now i have to be careful abt what i put the steroid cream on to get rid of my hives

bc there are no antihistamines that’ll get the job done

ALSO my right wrist has recently decided to be fucked up so i keep losing circulation in my hand and fingers while i sleep, which seems to be getting slightly better, but i can no longer do one of my EDS tricks bc it seems to be pinching nerves when i do it? i’ve only tested twice to see if there had been any change.

so it’s just like

okay

i have no idea how the fuck that happened or when or why and i can’t seem to fix it by using braces, or stretching, or ANYTHING.

incredible.

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aajjks · 2 years

Note

Things suck recently. This is another one of my stupid vents to the internet as a stranger on the internet spreading their TMI about their pathetic life and I’m just here bc I have no better outlet.

Within 2 weeks since school started it feels like everything has fallen apart. I’m arguing w my friends and most of them aren’t talking to me while I’m going through the toughest time of my life rn. My family is struggling in ways more than one. The new dance crew I’m in feels so unfamiliar and I don’t have friends there. The old one kicked me out of the gc (understandable bc I’m not in it obv) but it just makes me feel so empty and like dying. The last thing I was able to see from the chat is their rehearsal video and all my teammates look so happy. It feels like every life or group that I was ever a part of always becomes happier or better without me. I don’t even have the time to cry anymore because the 24 hours of my day are half school, half dance/vocal, and half hw. I barely even have time to eat, do chores, or go on my phone like I am now and the reason I can even do that now is bc it’ll take away from my sleep time instead. everything is so much and it feels like I’m healing, hurting, and losing myself all at once. I’m trying to keep my head up and look forward to small things like updates on ur blog or just anything but when those come I barely have the time to look at them now. As a person I’ve been through a lot but this is charting as probably the worst time I’ve ever had and this time no one can help me. I can’t drop dance or vocal bc im so dedicated and I can’t drop out of school or do less hw. My childhood had always been lost growing up but now it feels like my youth has become nothing but training in the studio for a choreography I won’t even get cast in and doings mountains of work that won’t help me if I’m stuck in poverty in the future. I don’t even know who I am anymore and I’ve become insecure of every atom that makes up me.

And now the only thing I can do is be a moping, lifeless loser and complain about it like it’ll do anything. Growing up really sucks, you can probably relate to that as well. I hope you do well on your exams goddess, and take this as a sorry for all my random vents that might appear in the future too. Don’t post this if u don’t want to honestly, it’s hard to say anything abt this and u shouldn’t have to be comforting or caring to someone you don’t know on the internet. Just hope you can have less stressful days, exams really suck and I hope you can rest and take care soon. Btw I’m not super young like a primary school kid and just got hw assigned for the first time ever or sth I’ve been doing it all my life but this year it’s just sm worse.

- the 🐇 anon who said she was gonna write regular asks soon but lied

my love.. I’m not even going to lie but yes life fucking sucks. We’re struggling nonstop w/o any break or good thing in life…. God the depression that I get when I think about my future just makes me want to quit everything and sit like a pathetic loser….

It fucking hurts to feel excluded and feel like the world is better/happier without your presence, makes my guts clench so hard.

God… I can’t even imagine the level of your exhaustion… hw/vocal and dance practice for so many hours w/o any good outcome yet must feel so burdening… with family and personal issues as well…

I can relate to you…. Oh my god my mind is too not in a good place but here’s the thing I tell myself.

I have to keep trying and survive. That’s the thing.

No matter how hard it is to try to go on and repeat the same routine every single day.

And can I tell you something personally? I really really think that you’ll succeed. I really want you to keep trying… keep working hard because I just know you’re going to make it, better than anyone else…

Please don’t give up. It takes a HELL lot to achieve your dreams…. I don’t have the guts to haha but I want you to fulfill your dream!!! And become happy! ❤️

tbh you’re so gutsy to not have given up, I’m soooo proud of you and I’ll be rooting for you like a top fan ;) trust me you’re going to BE SUCCESSFUL 😋❤️

#asks #🐇 anon

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dream-critical · 2 years

Note

Sorry this is so long, but I’m writing this to provide a bit of perspective from the other side (I am a poc, but I’m Asian-Mexican, and have no right to speak over black voices).

I think you see the Dream making gay jokes thing as separate from the doxxing thing and as separate from the racism thing. What happened on Twitter these past few weeks, I genuinely believe, was because people want to paint the narrative of Dream as the stereotypical problematic secretly racist straight white male, because that’s what the gamer community used to be full of.

Dream makes a joke pretending to be homophobic -> this can fit the twitter evil Dream narrative, let’s call him out for being straight.

Dream says that he isn’t straight -> this doesn’t match the narrative, so let’s twist it so it does (queerbaiting, damage control, faking for clout).

Dream responds to one of the many homophobic hate comments on his sexuality tweet, person privates, stating they don’t want to be doxxed -> this fits the narrative, because it feeds the established the narrative that Dream Stans will doxx people. Let’s make it worse by making the homophobia out to be reasonable criticism that Dream couldn’t take. (Note: other people attempted to frame a doxxing attempt, the real person says that nothing happened actually happened)

Larger twitter sees that hating Dream is popular once more, so they bring up an edit they’ve been keeping in their back pocket for years -> this fits the narrative.

Dream addresses everything, leaves it up to fans to decide if they want to continue supporting him knowing what he’s done in the past. In the midst, he badly words the reality of doxxing -> This can fit the narrative, Clip it, don’t provide anything else on what he said, “Dream says nothing will happen if you’re a small account and you’re doxxed so dw about it!” “Dream encourages fans to doxx people” “Dream doesn’t care abt doxxing”

Dream proceeds to get mass doxxed as sick retribution, with the #dreamOUT trending for three days with his private information on full display. He mass deletes a bunch of tweets that are now getting qrt’ed with his dox -> Twitter is silent, no acknowledging this, because it won’t fit the narrative.

At this point, any genuine criticism poc fans had for Dream only got acknowledged by Dream himself, while being drowned out by the rest of Twitter who are simply repeating the narrative and spreading around the edit instead of boosting the voices of people who the edit would actually concern and hurt.

All Dream fans are pissed, poc or not, because this situation is no longer about anything important, it’s just about hurting Dream.

Dream antis are satisfied because Twitter now has more ammunition for its Evil Dream narrative.

This started as homophobia, turned to hate, turned to an absolutely overblown and fucked “punishment.”

It’s not hard to see why Dream fans, even a lot of poc Dream fans, are so defensive of him, it’s why they stick by him. His lack of public support on Twitter, the main place where controversy takes place, makes it seem as if Dream fans are the only people willing to give the guy a kind word or a level headed critic.

I know you think he gets away with things, but trust me, he doesn’t. He’s one of the few YouTubers I’ve seen who can’t get away from anything without it tainting his public image (Twitter, because anyone who just knows him from YouTube isn’t as affected by his controversies). “Hes racist, he made a kkk fancam” is the new popular response to anyone speaking positively about Dream. “We didn’t welcome him in the LGBTQ+ community, because he’s racist” says the Ranboo fans. “Dream needs to shut up” says the YouTube controversy channels. He’s was even getting called racist in his reply to Elon Musk, the known labor extortionist.

What Dream fans are waiting for now, the same reason they’re so angry at anyone who takes a shot a Dream, is for someone, anyone, to acknowledge that what happens to him is too fucking much.

ok so i'm gonna try to say this in the kindest way possible anon, but i dont think starting an ask with "i think you see x as y" is a good way to start a long ask bc it literally shows you have not read any of the posts/replies i've made about this situationa and similar ask. I have explained my opinion on this multiple times and this is the last time i'm actually responding to an ask like this bc this shit is getting exhausting.

The reason people didn't congratulate dream for coming out is bc he made a vague ass tweet that was in a joking tone so people suddenly congratulating him on it would be weird and also how the fuck was anyone supposed to know that was his coming out tweet.

also let's not forget he was in the middle of a controversy for being racist and islamophobic so let's not twist what's going on here. Obviously people are gonna be more concentrated on that.

Dream is unlabeled, hes not gay and hes not straight, he has never referred to himself as queer so that's where that conversation should end. Neither I or Cy feel like thats productive anyway.

No i do not think dream doesnt get enough hate. And if you actually read what i’ve said about this before you’d know.

I do not like dsmp antis I know how they are and have had to deal with them a lot. Also I don't think hate is productive in general it should be critisism instead but on top of that i think half the hate he gets is bullshit bc those people dont know what the fuck theyre talking about and are derailing the very much needed conversation on the topic of holding dream accountable.

I know dream got doxxed i do not condone doxxing but him getting doxxed does not suddenly erase the harm his actions have caused. The dreamout hastag started out of genuine critisism and hurt the minorities he’s harmed felt and only after like a day got overrun by doxxers. I don’t think anyone deserves to be doxxed but let’s not act like the dreamout thing was malicious from the start.

also you dont know shit about what i think bc you obviously have not read a word i’ve written on this blog and if you have you’re just ignoring it so keep the condescending wording to yourself. He does get away with shit bc no one properly discusses what he does wrong.

dsmp antis dont even understand the situation and parrot it back without knowing what the fuck happened, completley ruining all (non-existing) chances people of colour, muslims and queer dsmp fans had to express their own opinions in peace, while stans just deny and justify anything that happened, twisting whatever is said to just force everyone to forget what the original discussion even was about and crying about how unfair it all is and how their poor little dreamie baby is getting undeserved hate now from evil POC who hate him for no reason at all :(((((((

He did not fucking properly address anything but honestly could not care less if you disagree with me on that at this point ive had to re-explain why i think that like 4 times before just scroll down the blog.

I have acknowlegded the fact that it has blown out of proportion and that dream antis are extreme before but it still doesnt fucking solve the problem. Which is dreams harmful behaviour.

Also yeah no shit making a kkk edit and an osama bin laden edit stained his reputation, what the fuck are you even on about jesus fucking christ. I’d hope that would stain his reputation and i hope no one forgets that, even though it seems you already have forgotten the islamophobic part of it since you didnt mention it once.

Also last thing I'm gonna say on this. The edits existing for years and people knowing about it doesn't make it less real or harmful. He made the edits he lied about it, tried to excuse it, tried to push of part of the responsibility that comes with owning up to it and he got away with it.

My opinion is clear and I'm tired of constantly having to clarify it.

#mercury.txt #asks #anonymous

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0bsc3ne · 2 months

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hey guys gotta bitch abt my boyfriend again. yk how it is. yada yada he's great you guys just don't hear that bc this is first and foremost a vent. ok whatever moving on

i'm just so. for THREE FUCKING DAYS IN A ROW i've had breakdowns in front of him bc, and here's my grand list of things:

a. i am being forced to come to terms with the fact that my boss of 4 years, who i have looked up to since i was 14 years old, is, in fact, an asshole, and has hurt my friends (without me noticing, which makes it hurt even worse!) and is now distancing me from the one thing i care about (teaching photography classes) bc i challenge his ego

b. the THIRD fucking job i've tried to get is, once again, in the process of fucking me over. this is also the second time a business owner who i've previously heavily respected is fucking me over. my partner is also the one who got my hopes up about this third job and PROMISED me it would work out. as things stand it does not seem like it will.

c. i need to be able to make MINIMUM $1k a month by the end of may. MINIMUM. i have made maybe $100 in the last... two weeks?

d. florida trans legislature. enough said.

anyways. today went fine! i had a good day! i was productive and i hung out with friends and i generally feel good about everything i did! and then tonight i was at his place and we started joking abt one of our mutual friends and the books he recommended us so i pulled up a review for it and started reading it out loud bc it was funny and my partner goes "oh! this reminds me of an interesting conversation i had-" and then 30 fucking minutes later he's trapped me in a "discussion" about... music critics? and when i tried to tell him i didn't really want to talk about our opposing views on it bc it doesn't really matter and i just wanted to read a funny book review to him, he just sorta... dismissed it? it just feels like whenever i have something that isn't an imminent breakdown he either just kinda hms along or makes the discussion about some ideal he has. like he never demeans me or anything and i doubt he even realizes he does it but he goes into this fucking. it's this like highschool debate team script every time we have a discussion and it just feels like he's Testing me. but whatever. not a big deal.

anyways i said something about how i'm just frustrated about the whole third job thing (bc he's involved in that too) and he started talking abt the owner which ok sure whatever AND WHAT REALLY FUCKING PISSED ME OFF is that he starts talking about HIS boss. who is REALLY good. which i'm not like upset he has a good boss, i'm happy for him, BUT READ THE FUCKING ROOM. SEE POINT A. SEE POINT B. don't fucking spend TWENTY GODDAMN MINUTES talking about how good of a person your boss is and how good of a business owner they are to your boyfriend WHEN HE IS DEALING WITH HIS OWN MENTOR FIGURE BOSS BECOMING A FUCKING ASSHOLE. there is a TIME and a PLACE.

i've just. i know he's really socially... bad, in general, but. fuck. i have never felt so ignored in my life. and now it's just putting me in a thought spiral of how else i feel ignored when none of it has ever bothered me before. i just. i don't know. i've come home from his place upset more nights than i have happy recently. i'm only so stressed abt finding a job so that i can move in with him once his roommate leaves. i don't even know if i want to do that anymore.

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earthtoluisa · 3 months

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I really badly have to vent scince im feeling so overwhelmed with my Feelings that my body is hurting

So im feeling pretty depressed lately again everydad i have a new fight with my mom and its usally abt the same stuff it just takes a lot out of me

I try to love her i just cant i hate her And ik that sounds so strong but she keeps telling me that i am a bad and selfish person scince i dont want to be friends with my ex bullie i dont care if she changed (she didnt btw) i dont want anything to do with her And my mom keeps saying that she had it worse than me

Oh really?! Did she!? She wasnt the one being bullied for her weight and looks for more than 10 years no that was me being menatlly abused by my mom and even more but ofc i am the Bad person in every situation in her eyes i do everything to make her happy bit she just dosnt care

I wanna end it so badly i feel overwhelmed with EVERY Single thing my body and mind cant handle stress

I wanna cry out so badly but i cant

Tmrw im getting my report card and i am so scared

I messed up ik its my foult but i couldnt do better i did my best o have just such a hard time in school i feel so tired and Bad

Im sorry i really am!

And then there is this girl which i liked

For the first time i liked someone and she keept complimenting (?) Me abt my looks my style my personality she always found something

And she made me feel so loved and special i have never feelt so in love with someone befor and she did flirt with me a lot so i rrally thought i had a chance for once in my life i did but i guess im Not good enough

Now she is in a daiting Phase with her chrush

Seriously between me and her crush are worlds

If i am so pretty why wasnt i pretty enough for you!? Am i pretty enough ever!?

God i hate myself i just wanna starve myself never eat again maybe then she likes me if im skinny

Maybe my mom could love me more if im skinny she just keeps making coments abt my body

I hate myself with all my heart

And no one around me understands me

#vent post #tw vent #im sorry

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