#but now im like 'oh i ate a lot today so surely i dont have a disorder right

[t3ag3rs]

g e n s o - 0 5.

"the thirds ones wrong.. it should be will not well.."

you sighed out answering present mics question. "thats correct!" he continued to ramble on about grammar and english. 

you put your head down and closed your eyes wishing class would go by faster. 

then the bell rang, dismissing you all to go to lunch.

"y/n! come sit with us!" said mina, pulling your arm. you laughed and walked along with her, kirishima, and two other boys. "sup beautiful im denki kamanari and thats hanta sero, nice to finally meet you" said the yellow haired boy grinning.

you waved, "nice to meet you two as well!" kirishima groaned, "im so hungry..! i cant wait to some of the yummy food!" sero laughed as he patted his stomach, "hes like a baby!" 

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

you sat down between mina and kirishima, chatting with them as they ate. god im so hungry.... but i cant risk gaining any fat right now... im at the healthiest ive been.. i cant gain anything!

you looked down at your fingers and fiddled with them. "hey y/n, why arent you eating anything?" asked kirishima curiously, you looked at him and quickly blurted an excuse, "o-oh! i had a heavy breakfast right before i left so im still stuffed!" you chuckled to deflect any second thoughts from them.

mina nodded, "ohhhh i get that.. well make sure to eat at home kay?" you nod smiling at her, of course i will..

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

finally it was time for the class you were waiting for. "i am here!! coming through the door like a hero!" announced all might as he made a dramatic entrance into the class. you couldnt help but let out a wide smile at him.

the whole class started talking amongst themselves at how they were amazed he was teaching them. you knew bakugou was jumping inside at the sight of his favorite hero, but didnt wanna seem like he was a fanboy. 

 "today we will be focused on battle!" you looked to see bakugou grinning, "but in order to do that you guys have to look good!" suddenly boxes of all of your hero costumes came out of the wall.

oh my gosh is that really my coustume??? you thought excitedly, smiling widely. "change and meet me at training ground beta!" all might instructed.

 you went into the girls locker room and started changing, "i cant wait to see how my costume looks on me!" exclaimed mina, as she put on her costume. you laugh in agreement and start putting on yours. 

 "ill see you out there y/n! dont take to long!" she said as she ran out giddily. you finish putting on your costume and look at yourself in the mirror, you smiled as you saw how it accentuated your muscle and curves well, before running out to the rest of the students.

you walked out while smiling, "OH MT GOD Y/N YOU JUST RAISED THE HEAT OVER HERE! YOU LOOK SO HOT!" screamed mina, getting everyone's attention. you blush and thank her for the compliment while adjusting the thigh harnesses. 

you look over to see bakugou in his hero costume and take notice of how much his body had changed. he had definitely grown more muscular and even though you wouldnt admit it, he looked good.

you held your breath as you made eye contact with him. he widened his eyes a bit before looking the other way. "honestly though.. your costume looks so good!" mina praised, " o-oh! thanks..! honestly it isnt really something i usually wear.. the skin tight crop top, and i always usually try to stay away from pants that are somewhat tight around my thighs and butt.. "

 "no way! they show off the body you got blessed with! besides the cargos accentuate your muscular thighs! i think your whole costume looks good on you!" she smiles, you blush and bow your head thanking her.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

you listened closely as all might explained what you all would be doing today. you felt someone glaring at you and turned to look at them, only to meet a pair of vermillion eyes. you narrowed your eyes and stared back until he turned away, haha! i win asswipe!

you walked up to all might to draw your lot and see who you got paired with. letting out a low curse your paper read 'katsuki bakugou'. god you must really hate me huh..? out of all the people here this guy??

sulking internally you walked toward bakugou and stood by him silently. "all right lets see who the villian and hero will be!" all might reached into the box and pulled out your team and dekus team. "just great.." you mutter realizing you and bakugou were the villians and had to go up against deku. knowing bakugou he would target deku to try and beat him up. 

you and bakugou started heading on inside, "young y/n, young bakugou the key to this exercise is to embody villainy- think like how they would and act upon it, make sure to communicate and work together." you nod, youll only be able to communicate if someone doesnt target deku.

you follow behind bakugou into the room with the fake weapon. you walk toward it and look around to check your surroundings "hey." you turn and look at bakugou, "do you really think deku has a quirk..?" you bite your lip, "well.. we both saw what he did during the physical tests, so yes i do think he has a quirk" you respond looking at bakugou.

you noticed him tense up, "look.. just because he has a quirk now dont go targeting him whenever you can, we both have to communicate if you wanna win this- which im sure you do. so please just try and calm your temper okay?" you add, he stands still and you sigh. "whatever.. its not like youll listen anyways... ill guard the weapon, knowing them uraraka will probably try and come up here, once i deal with her ill help you with izuku"

"all right! lets begin the indoor combat training!" says all might over the loud speaker, "be careful" you tell bakugou before he walks away. you purse your lips knowing he wouldnt hold back on deku, but right now you had to worry about uraraka.

you smirk as you come up with a plan and go to hide behind a pillar near the entrance. suddenly, you hear a huge explosion, "here we go again.." 

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

"bakugou take it easy on the explosions.. i dont think this building can handle too many" you say through the ear piece, "shut up and defend the weapon genso!" he replies. you roll your eyes, this bitch... 

you suddenly hear footsteps and ready yourself quietly, "theres the weapon! wait... wheres y/n..?" she says as she steps through apprehensively. you smirk and let your wind propel yourself forward, manipulating the earth under uraraka you made it wrap around her body, making sure to bound her arms down knowing if she touched you she could make you float. "right here!" you say as you wrap your tape around her, successfully capturing her.

she looked at you with a blank look still processing what just happened, "wait what??" she says questioningly, "sorry to get you out so early, but i really dont trust leaving bakugou with izu" you say before hearing another couple of explosions. 

"bakugou! where are you?" you ask through the earpiece only to get no reply, just great..! no reply from the asswipe!

you run out and touch the floor closing your eyes, you saw the floorplan of the building in your mind letting the earth draw it out for you. you felt a huge surge of motion coming from a specific side of the building and ran to the location as quick as you could.

suddenly all might came over the speaker again, "use that power again bakugou and ill disqualify your team! you need to be aware of your surroundings and strive to make the least amount of damage to it as possible!" 

oh my god theyre gonna kill each other...!  you closed your eyes and pushed your legs faster trying to get there quicker. you heard another couple of explosions and widened your eyes.

 you werent gonna make it in time. 

stopping, you placed your hand on the ground again and found where they were in your mind. deciding to test your quirk, you focused on the spot and found the wall closest to the area. maybe.. just maybe.. i can manipulate the earth and get myself there by moving through the walls..

you focused all your power on the walls and let yourself fall into the earth, the next thing you knew you were in the same room as the two. they were standing in front of each other, izuku was screaming at bakugou and your gut told you to move in between the two. the next thing you knew your feet were moving, and you were hit by both their quirks. 

you let out a loud yelp of pain and fell to the ground. you heard another thump and saw izuku fall to the ground, wincing you crawled your way to him and wrapped the capture tape around him before you passed out. 

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

you blinked your eyes as you familiarized yourself with light and winced as you tried to move. "there, there, take it easy... your bodys pretty beaten up... taking those two powerful blows wasnt very smart of you to do.." explained recovery girl, you let out a sheepish smile, "i couldnt just stand there and let them kill each other.. ive known both since childhood and bakugou isnt one to hold back when it comes to izuku.." you explained.

"hows izuku..?" you ask curiously, "hes already back in class, i still need to heal a couple other of his injuries but he has no energy in his body left for today.." you nod, "can i go back go class..?" she nods, "yes, but make sure you come back tomorrow.. i bandaged the blow on your stomach, but it still needs a bit of healing.. keep the cast on your arm on till tomorrow" she explains before letting you go.

you limp slightly as you walk back to class, gosh itll be so embarrassing walking into the class knowing they saw me pass out- yet again..

opening the door you walked into the class, only to be bombarded by kirishima, mina, and a couple of other students. "oh my gosh y/n you were so kick-ass!" exclaimed mina as she threw her hands around you, "be careful mina! shes still a bit injured!" reminded kirishima, you smiled before waving it off, "im fine.. im just glad everyones okay..!" "that move you pulled where you moved yourself through the earth was awesome!" praised uraraka.

"wait.. wheres izu..?" you question as you couldnt find him in the room, "hes talking to bakugou.." sighs out uraraka, you widen your eyes and run to find the two outside.

gasping for air your finally reach the two, "thank goodness i found you izu..!" you say tiredly, "my gosh y/n... are you okay?" you smile before nodding, "im fine, nothing too major..! im glad your fine though..!" you pause and turn to bakugou, "look bakugou.. as much as i understand your frustrated, you had no right to try and kill izuku in a practice match!" you sighed as you looked down.

"we used to be good friends.. just because of certain values we had we stop being friends.. whatever happens this year- i promise you two this, im not sticking up for either of you. you guys can either die fighting each other because of your massive egos, or learn how to grow up and act like mature people." you grit before turning and limping away.

you knew in your heart that you still valued the friendship you had with them, but you werent going to let bakugou continue and treat deku like shit just to fulfill his ego.

previous parts: pt. 0 0 / pt. 0 1 / pt. 02 / pt. 03 / pt. 04 next parts: pt. 06 / pt. 07 / pt. 08 / pt. 09 / pt. 10 / pt. 11 / pt. 12

#my hero academia #katsuki bakugo mha #mha x reader #mha #mha bakugou #bakugo katsuki #bakugou katsuki #bnha bakugou #katsuki bakugou #kacchan bakugou #boku no hero academia #bhna x reader #bhna #bakugou x reader #bakugou fanfiction #bakugou x you #bakugou x y/n #kacchan #katsuki bakugo x reader #bakugo katuski #katsuki x you #katsuki x reader #mha fanfiction #mha x y/n #t3ag3rs

[robinismywifee]

Back to the Old House - Chapter 4

August 23rd, 2034

[4 weeks, 5 days since beginning of Chapter 3]

Raines age: 16 years, 6 months

Ellies age: 15 years, 3 months

CW: none?

Words: 1920

Masterlist

Raines POV:

Today is the first day of patrol. Maria was super impressed at the gun range and she gave me a week before doing the real patrol job, just making sure I was ready to be around new people, taking me out to eat and shit.

It's been difficult, but I need to pull my head out of my ass.

I woke up early, 6am, patrol started at 7am, but Maria wanted me to eat beforehand. I brushed out the knots in my hair and brushed my teeth, got dressed, just jeans and a black tanktop, as it was still summertime, and my black canvas shoes.

I swung my bag over my shoulder and equipped my holster around my theigh for my gun.

"Hey Maria" I said in a sleepy voice, rubbing my eyes, making my way into the kitchen where Maria sat at the stool infront the counter.

"Hey, you seem tired. You sure you're still up for it?" she said, sipping something out of a steaming mug.

"Yeah yeah, i'm sure- it's just early"

She nodded, "you want some?" she gestured to her cup, "uh, what is it?"

"Coffee" she smiled proud, "oh, no thanks, never had it. Wouldn't wanna waste any"

"You sure you don't wanna try? It has caffeine in it, get you out of your tired mood"

"Not really, i'll be fine with water."

"Would you rather us go to get breakfast or me make you something?"

"Uh.."

Well I would definitely rather stay here to get food, but I should probably go out to eat so i'm not too overwhelmed with meeting this Jesse guy.

"Let's go out?"

Maria smiled, she gulped down the last splashes of her coffee, placing the now empty mug on the table, "i'm glad you said that"

୨♡୧

After I ate only half my food, since it felt like i was gonna puke if I ate anymore, me and Maria left to go to the stables.

"I'm sorry that I couldn't finish it.." I practically mumbled to her as we walked

"What? No. Don't be. You probably have lots of anxiety right now and i'm proud that you even tried. I'm also very proud that you're going out of your comfort zone to do this job."

I felt confused. Why is Maria so nice to me?

she wouldn't be if she knew the real me.

I stayed quiet. Thinking of how happy her words made me feel and thinking of how much I didn't deserve to feel that happiness.

"Hey" Maria waved to the guy who worked at the stables once we arrived, "We're gonna have you take this guy. We found her injured a few months ago but shes healed since, and fully trained. She's a good girl who was in need of an owner. She doesn't have a name yet either, so feel free to name her. This will be both of you guys first time on patrol" Maria smiled, as she handed me the horses rein.

I nodded, getting up on the horse. "perfect, now just follow me" Maria said softly, I followed next to her slowly riding my horse until we made it to infront the exist, I saw 7 other people on horses. They all looked to range from ages 18-30.

"Sorry for the wait. We got new patrol people, this is Raine" Maria introduced me to everyone, as I shyly waved. It felt weird considering i've been in town for weeks now, and yet I only know about 6 people, 2 of them I dont even know the names of.

"Hey Raine! I'm Jesse" one of the people said, it was the guy closest to me and looked to be the same age as me. His smile was gentle and he seemed nice. Maybe this won't be too bad.

"Hi" I awkwardly said, unsure of what else to say as he already knew my name.

"Great, I hope you two become friends as you'll be working together from now on, that is if everything goes well, but im certain it will."

Maria continued to talk about saftey precautions and which partner group was taking which route, Jesse already had taken this route before from when he had did group patrol, so I was basically just gonna have to follow him.

Once the gate opened, every partner group went separate ways, and it was just me and Jesse.

"So, I heard you came in weeks ago and was in the hospital for awhile. I also heard you got out of it weeks ago, where you've been?" Jesse asked in a curious tone, glancing to the side to look at me for my answer. When I opened my mouth nothing came out, he spoke up before I could make an embarrassing scene. "Sorry, that could be very personal, I dont wanna overstep anything.."

"Uh- no it's fine. I- I was just um.. I mean, I was in a coma? So I was recovering.. from it.. i've been staying at Maria and Tommy's place."

God, I sound so fucking stupid. Also im lying. I've been done recovering, i've just been staring at the wall in bed letting my own thoughts consume me.

"Oh, thats cool. Maria and Tommy are nice dudes."

It was awkward silence since I didn't know how to reply, and by the time I thought of just saying 'yeah' it was too late to reply.

"So what's it like being in a coma? I heard you dream some weird stuff- oh, and when people visited you, could you hear them?"

I softly smiled at his excited banter, he actually felt nice to be around and didn't make me that type of uncomfortable yet.

"Uhh, no weird dreams that I remember. Just was sorta blank. And, I wouldn't know. It's not like anyone vistied me"

"What do you mean? Of course she vi-" Jesse started saying, but stopped talking in the middle of his sentance. I scrunched my brows confused.

"Uhh.. sorry," he let out a dry chuckle, "forgot what I was gonna say"

What the fuck was that about?

I nodded, feeling awkward.

"Uhhhmm. So what made you wanna do patrol?"

Jesse asked, "Oh, just thought i'd be good and could help out."

"Nice.." Jesse nodded looking at me, as I stared down at my horses mane. "same.." he said, stretching out the A.

"Welp, Maria had us take a short route since its our first time and we're young, so.. here we are"

Jesse said, once we made it some office type building.

I didn't say anything, we entered it and Jesse signed us in. "You don't talk much, do you?"

"Guess not."

He nodded, pukering his lips and blowing air out. "Hey, you wanna know a fun fact about me?"

"Uh.. not really?" I asked, confused of why he kept trying to talk to me as we searched the building. "Can I tell you anyway?"

I shrug, not caring.

"Okay, well, my girlfriend, is actually the one that found you. You know, like right before you passed out in that coma."

My eyebrow's scrunched, and my face visibly showed confusion. What is he talking about? Ellie was the one that found me and shes not into gu-

"Dina, is her name"

Oh right. They were in groups.

I nodded, "Nice" I said not knowing how else to respond. "I think you and Dina could be friends. You'll have to meet her one of these days"

"No thanks" I said, cutting him off. He looked at me confused, "Oh- I just meant, i'm not really.. a social person, and meeting you is enough for me.. for awhile.."

His confusion dropped as he understood. "Gotcha. Well, still, it's a small town, you're gonna have to meet her eventually. But yeah, sure, take your time"

The rest of the patrol was boring silence broken up with Jesse throwing in information about himself that I didn't need to know. He even told me his shoe size? He's kinda weird. But definitely better then most, he wasn't being weird to me in that way at all and I feel like I could relax around him.

We finished the job and made it back to Jackson. It only took us a few hours since we had a short and recently cleared route. We didn't run into any infected or anything.

The people at the gates said hello to Jesse and welcomed us back, I figured that they didn't know my name. We rode to the stables, the stables were empty except for the same person working from before, and a black haired girl standing off to the side, looking as if she was waiting for something. She looked odly familiar.

Jesse was infront of me when I heard the girl speak up excitedly, "Jesse! How was it?"

Jesse smiled, "Hey Dina,"

So thats her? Fuck I hope Jesse doesnt try and make me introduce myself.

"It was pretty chill, we had a short route and no trouble. No infected or anything."

Jesse got off his horse and put the horse in its assigned stable, while I did the same. I saw from the corner of my eye Jesse and Dina hugging.

I could feel their eyes on me once they stopped hugging. "Raine? This is Dina"

I took a breath before turning around, "Hi" I mumbled, barley audible. "Hi, it's nice to meet you. I'm glad to see you up!"

Are you though?

I nodded slightly, pressing a fake smile that I thought was convincing when in reality it wasnt at all, and then turned around to leave.

Once I left the stables and was out of their view, I heard Jesse apologizing for my behavior.

Why the fuck do I act like that?

I speed walked to Marias with my head down, feeling my heart pump fast. My cheeks were red from embarrassment.

Once I got to the house, Maria was already in the living room, and was alerted by me slamming the door shut that I was back.

She got off from the couch and ran over to me, "Raine? Whats wrong, did you get hurt? Did you get bit?" Maria asked me in a calm voice, but you could hear panic and worry behind it.

"No- no im fine-" I took a deep breath, feeling my cheeks grow more red from being even more embarrassed, since I was starting to have a hard time breathing over it.

"Well what's wrong? Was it too soon to go out?"

I shook my head, bringing my hands to cover my face, "No, I just- I dont know, I think it was just- alot, for such a short time." I breathed out, pushing past Maria to get water from the kitchen.

"Oh, i'm sorry hun, are you gonna hold off on patrol for awhile, or are you gonna stick with it?"

She asked, following behind me to the kitchen.

"No- I can still do it. Im fine. Tomorrow at the same time?"

She nodded, "Are you sure? How was Jesse? Do you want to switch him for someone else?"

I immediately shook my head no. That would just cause more trouble, and I would have to meet another person.

Before Maria could talk more, I took my water and went to my room.

#the last of us #ellie williams #ellie williams tlou #ellie williams tlou2 #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x oc #ellie williams x you #the last of us part 2 #back to the old house #ellie williams fanfic #ellie williams fanfiction #ellie williams series

[spiked-mall-goth]

ummmmm guys. i have had a day let me tell you. super long diary like entry lol

i had to get up early to go see my papa and help him move some furniture, and although i was running on a total of 2 1/2 hours of sleep i was excited. he lives out in the city and its about an hour and a half drive but the highway is completely surrounded by trees so that was a fun ride. listened to lots of music and talked about barbies with my dad. we counted 21 total yard sales on the trip.

got home and ate lunch after unloading some beds. my papa wanted some old twin beds out of his house so we took them home. i have a new mattress now!! which hopefully means far less daily back pain!!

after lunch we decided to go to a few of the yard sales we passed by. and let me tell you i got a HAUL. i got a pair of really nice pajama pants that have little skulls on them, then at the next one they had SO MUCH STUFF!!! like guys.. i got a sweater for 25 cents.. GUYS. i got a little black sweater, a flowy black summer top, a fucking black velvet CAPELET, and the most gorgeous black 80s prom dress; although sadly it does not zip and needs alterations but its WORTH IT!!! it has really big poof sleeves and a massive flower sash omg guys its AWSOME. at the same place i also got a little fake ivy for my kitchen :D it desperately needed a little life, a big ass puzzle to work on with my brothers, and they had MOUNDS of vhs tapes... for FREE. soooo uh yeah. may or may not have come home with like twenty new tapes. oh yeah did i metion that i only paid like a total of six dollars so far?? i made out like a Bandit. final yard sale and the woman was like 'uhhhh $1.25.'. so for a $1.25 i got a peanuts drinking glass (i think from mcdonalds..), the entirety of firefly on dvd, and a ceramic angel. normally i do not go for religious imagery in my decor, but. it was like 102F.. i hadnt slept since my two hour night.. i was severely dehydrated.. heat exhaustion was setting in a little bit.. and i dunno, she just called to me. she reminded me of laura palmer.

okay, so i get home and unload all my of goodies, then i start cleaning my room. i have to disassemble my old bed frame and clean under my bed and shit. i already have a pounding headache at this point but i have schedule to keep. beds gotta be moved b4 tmrrw. so i am FIGHTING trying to get the frame apart, i'm all sweaty and gross and i finally get it!! :D i feel some stuff falling over behind me and b4 i can even look up i get whacked right upside my head loony tunes style with a huge metal beam :( i start feeling kinda funny and i vaguely remember talking to my brother who told me to lie down. i pass out cold and hard on the couch for about an hour. vague memories of seeing something in the room with me. not really important i just think you should know.

wake up to my brothers shaking me to make sure i havent DIED. i lived! yayyy!! ate dinner, and then it was time. i have been looking at this online auction for over a week now and it was ending in a matter of minutes. i did when some some stuff! i got the directors cut of JTHM, revenge of the filler rabbit, and some other comic which i cannot remember rn.. but anyways it was 5 bucks! and then i bought a snoopy wallet for a few dollars. although i did miss out on a clear phone.. so sad. but overall i had a very good shopping day today idk why. everything just like fell into my lap at affordable prices... like wow..

after the auction i still had not moved my new bend in (ya know.. bonk on da head) so i fight forever to get it put together. but yippeee!!! its al here! and i was given a new blanket to put on it which is very soft :3

anyways now im here after showing and watching x files for a bit.

if you read all of that.... wow. ily <3. i normally dont like to just like info dump about my irl daily stuff, but today was just so like action packed it was kinda bonkers. anyways i have to go to bed bc i have more stuff going on tmrrw.... and i honestly might just cancel them.. i am TIRED.

#spikes rambles #sorry. loooooooonnnnggg ass post lol #but just so much HAPPENED

[autistic-ace-bee]

ask game: 13 23 31 34 37 ! pick whichever ones u want asgdfg

13: what are three things you did today?

I did the washing, I played valorant, and i did some pushups! I didnt really do much today on account of accidentally skipping school asdllsad

23: how have you felt today?

I've felt somewhat anxious today, waiting to get told off for skipping school but that never happened lol. I didnt get nauseous today! :D well actually i did but i think it was because i hadnt eaten yet and once i ate i was fine oh no wait that was yesterday askdkdk

31: what were you doing an hour ago?

i was playing valorant with my cousin! also i think i was messaging you. i was kind of going back and forth between messaging you and playing asdkasdk i was like i am dying but talking to you is more important askdks

34: are you a patient person?

not at all. I hate waiting, and it makes me anxious. So at least, I'm not patient in the sense that I don't like waiting in lines, or waiting for my turn to use the kitchen, or the shower, my turn in a game, or whatever it is I want to do. But with people I'm patient. Like if someone's talking to me about a problem or something I'm patient. But if it's not serious I do tend to try to hasten people and finish their sentences for them asdkasd so yeah, no, im very much not a patient person askdsk

37: did you have a dream last night?

yes and my god it was a wild one. i dont really remember anymore but im pretty sure people died. wait. i was forced to do something. i dont remember what but it was weird lol. i remember i woke up and messaged my cousin "bro i just had the weirdest effing dream" but never elaborated lol

and bonus! im putting a readmore bc it got pretty long and also personal which i dont mind lol but also wooooh mystery >:O

01: tell me the truth, what made you start liking the person you like right now?

honestly, I'm not entirely sure what made me start liking you! I guess its just because you were so easy and so fun to talk to. I love talking to people, but honestly its a lot of effort for me a lot of the time. The only people im really comfortable holding a conversation with at length are you, my cousin and my sister. and i felt that way with you after only a few interactions! i just found you so interesting and cute and sweet and kind and funny and awesome and just you are so great to talk to and we always have a good time together!

i remember like, it was the second week i had known you and i was in the middle of a soccer game and i just couldnt stop messaging you. my coach called me off the pitch and i just immediately grabbed my phone and started texting you because i just so much wanted to talk to you!

and one of my happiest memories is that day i had my first job interview, but its because that day was the first time we played 20 questions, and it was sunny and warm and we ended up talking for like 4 hours and it was just so much fun and i felt so happy and so present and i took photos to show you because i thought, yeah im comfortable with you, i want to show you! i love you and im comfortable being vulnerable and open with you.

that comfort being vulnerable with you was still a little thing then, and now im a lot more comfortable! like yesterday i had a therapy session and i ended up mentioning you because i was like. i know its stupid (in the sense of the immensity of my feelings about it) but not getting to go to that party really upset me and left me feeling pretty depressed for the rest of the week, to the point where i kind of basically wrote like a really long kind-of-poem journal entry where basically i more or less just listed all the things i hated about myself, but i was also like, if you like me there must be something worth liking askdkasdk anyway once i vented i was like okay thats out there whoo and then i messaged you looking for comfort and you were great and i felt so much better and my little depressive episode was over!

and i dont think thats ever really happened before. or like, not so quickly?? like usually when i end up that upset, i usually just cry and sleep. but this time i cried and then i was happy, because i got to speak to you and idk chemical shit in my brain go brrr happy chemicals <3333 and yeah in any case. you make me happy and thats why i love you <33

i originally wrote this as one long block of text but i went back and put as many line breaks as i could bc i know adhd brain is shit at reading long paragraphs askdkasda

#long post

[mirxzii]

who is/are your comfort character(s)?

lighter or matches?

do you leave the window open at night?

which cryptyd being do you believe in?

what color are your eyes?

why did you do that?

hair-ties or scrunchies?

how many water bottles are in your room right now?

which do you prefer, hot coffee or cold coffee?

would you slaughter the rich?

favorite extracurricular activity?

what kind of day is it?

when was the last time you ate?

do you love the smell of earth after it rains?

are you a parent? (all answers qualify)

can you drive?

are you farsighted or nearsighted?

what hair products do you use?

imagine we’re at a sleepover, would you paint my nails?

do you say soda or pop?

something you’ve kept since childhood?

what type of person are you?

how do you feel about chilly weather?

if we were together on a rooftop, what would we be doing?

perfume/body spray or lotion?

a scenario that you’ve replayed multiple times?

about how many hours of sleep did you get?

do you wear a mask?

how do you like your shower water?

is there dishes in your room?

what type of music keeps you grounded?

do you have a favorite towel?

the last adventure you’ve been on?

is there a song you know every word to by heart?

what’s your timezone?

how many times have you changed your url?

someone in your life, other than a relative, you’ve known for 10+ years?

a soap bar that smells good?

do you use lip balm?

did you have any snacks today?

how do you take your coffee?

an app you frequently use besides this godforsaken site?

what’s your take on spicy foods?

you get a free pass to kill anyone, who is it?

can you remember what happened yesterday?

favorite holiday film?

what was the last message you sent?

when did you first try an alcohol beverage?

can you skip rocks?

can i tag you in random stuff?

assuming this means all of them, so whew.. here we go

alr answered!

probably lighter, although ive never used one.

absolutely not. window closed, blinds closrd, curtains closed.

idk what this means but i kinda believe in ghosts

green!

because im an idiot DGBVXHN

hair ties!

3 hahah

neither!

probably

drawing i think

its a laze around and do nothing kind of day

umm maybe an hour or two ago?

kinda?

i am. i have many children who i will protect with my life

i can drive a golf cart

alr answered!

uhhh idk?

YES BUT ID BE RLY BAD

soda!

this alice in wonderland funko pop, plus my very first stuffie named baby (i ripped off his head once and my mom had to sew it back on)

im not sure what this means haha

i like chilly weather sometimes, but not all the time. better than hot weather

we would be talking together probably

neither

scenarios of characters falling asleep next to me/with me probably

last night? probably about 7?

i do sometimes!

HOT.

nope!

vocaloid ehehe

yeah its this pink one that velcros around so that i dont have to hold it while i walk

uhh…probably at camp?

alr answered!

uhhh pst?

alot…im not quite sure how many times

yup, a lot of my old classmates

no clue

nope!

uhh i dont think so

i dont drink coffee!

pjsekai and ibispaint KEHDJKS

hate it. spicy food sucks ass

…this remains my secret ehe

uhm..oh yeah i met a friend and had ice cream

there arent really any good jewish holiday films

huh?

I HAD WINE AT PASSOVER DINNER TWO YEARS AGO AND GOT TIPSY IT WAS COOL

nope!

ABSOLUTELY YES PLS

[rianafying]

hinge is so fucking stupid. dating apps are stupid. people on there are great sure but like i hate online dating. it’s so stupid. idk why im so angry about this. oh yeah it’s cause it gets so overwhelming to reply to everyone. like i don’t wanna reply to anyone. i feel like im being trampled on in a crowd. it’s too loud and it’s too many noises. i just wanna go on a walk and not be scared of running into my crush. mff was fucking amazing, but i’m still recovering from my hangover after the open bar at the stupid VIP lounge. like idk how i got so drunk so fast off of 4 tiny glasses of prosecco. other people had 9 drinks and were still fine, and i was stumbling. at some point in the night it got so fucking sweaty and dense w people, my glass slipped from my hand, cause of the condensation and sweat, it didn’t break but the drink spilled onto the floor. i tried cleaning it up but felt so bad for doing that. like i don’t usually get drunk drunk. maybe cause i haven’t had drinks in a while? idk man. i’m still recovering from the long weeks at mff and all the people i met and it was wonderful and exhausting and i have turned my assignments in amidst all the chaos. i should be happy but i am weirdly super miserable. like i even have money in my bank account now. a decent amount. which is so rare, because normally i have between 10 and 20 dollars to survive the week till my next payment. anyway, things are good. i’m just annoyed. i don’t feel too good. a bunch of things triggered a lot of my childhood trauma recently and i was bawling my eyes out like a child for the full 45 minutes i was in therapy yesterday. maybe i’m annoyed because i have a crush. and they kinda seemed interested in me too? which was surprising. but i’m not gonna see this person probably ever again. because in this city you don’t get to meet the same people twice. and i’m a dumbass. and i flipped a coin. anyway. today i ate a bit more than i should have. but it’s cause i was super hungry all day. and confused and overwhelmed. it’s crazy how much work and studying i do for someone who is so mentally ill. god i’m just limping my way through life but i’m actually catching up? this is success. this is how i had hoped things would turn out. this is what i prayed to god would happen. it’s happening. and yet for some reason i’m still not happy. maybe it’s cause my room is still really messy and that’s a big source of shame and guilt for me, along with it physically making life harder for me because i lose things and trip over the clutter and can’t have friends over. at least the bugs are gone. i didn’t even do anything, they just left. by themselves. how polite. anyway yeah so my messy room. and some of my loved ones are sad. and it’s just a little complicated with some people in my life at the moment. but it’s one of those things that naturally get resolved in time. there’s an inspection at my house in 2 days time. i know it’s going to be a stressful process for me but im going to do my best to clean up my room earlier so that i dont lose sleep and have a full on panic attack the morning of.

i feel like i’d be a lot calmer once my room situation is dealt with. one step at a time. for example, i don’t struggle with laundry anymore since i figured out a system that works for me. same with taking out the trash. and i assume it will be the same for cleaning. it’s just a matter of doing it well enough times so that i believe i can do it again, and that it doesn’t have to be so unpleasant and stressful if i don’t leave it all for one day and spread it out over a few days. this is going to be okay. i am going to be okay. and my health is looking better even though i haven’t taken care of my body in the last one week due not having the time, but i can easily go back. i’m not at square one, ill be restarting at a decent state this time so it’ll be easier and faster to get to health now. i should make a proper to do list. time to ease back into life and everyday chores. it’s all every difficult while it’s happening but it’s much better when it’s done. also with the difficulty starting, cause of the lack of dopamine and serotonin in my brain. but i can make it work. things are going to be fine. i am actually fine. the angels were right. i DO know how to figure it out.

costar says “Don’t start the fight. Whatever you have to say, write it down, crumple it up, and burn it. Today, anger is as clarifying as it is destructive. Your limbic system responds to an accumulation from a lifetime of conflict. Don’t give this one that kind of power.” - while anger can provide clarity by highlighting underlying issues, it also has destructive potential. the limbic system, the part of the brain associated with emotions, reacts to accumulated unresolved conflicts that can trigger intense emotional responses. the advice is not to let anger have too much power over me, implying the importance of managing emotions constructively.

Your desire to change this month depends on your ability to get in touch with your body. This is no small feat for a person who can let their need for stability stunt relationship growth. Cultivate your attraction to relationships that feed you. You have a desire for indulgence in your romantic or creative life. There will be a chance opportunity that affects your natural drive for action. Try to be more adaptable than you usually are right now. Pursue the things you want.

This opportunity will see its beginnings in significant relationships where they meet with the ways you find joy. Keep an eye on projects you share with your partner, an affair, or a casual relationship becoming more serious.

Whether it’s fate or chance, now is the time to take advantage of anything that seems too good to be true.

okay maybe this is good advice. i’m more open to getting rejected as long as i’ve put myself out there. you know when they say you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. it’s true. i’ve been so much happier since i started taking risks. life is not about being as safe as possible. gotta put myself out there, gotta believe in good change. gotta accept that if i want to be happier i have to accept happiness when it comes my way. when im scared i only want stability and smooth sailing, but i realise im happier when i’m trying to step outside of my comfort zone and grow. i am capable of more but i can’t do more if i stay stuck at home from fear of the unknown. this is all getting a little too vague for anyone who doesn’t live inside my head. i’m gonna go take a walk soon. i deserve a good walk.

#personal #journal entry

[lottagiftbox]

done a lot of cleaning in that 1 hour this morning. whew. i need to finish cleaning so today I'll put up my clothes and vacuum. then ill clean by my closet and in my closet. next project. i use boxes to make a shelf. but there was another shelf that my mom got me so ill see about it. my cleaning projects ill do till they are done. my mom wanted me to open their gift but they wanted them to put it my apartment so i had to remind her of this. she was likw oh yeah and had a look of why did i do that. lol ot was priceless. yea dont listen to me but it's whatever. i said to just bring my gifts in but nope she wanted their gifts in my apartment then 30 min later completely forgotten about it. i think she might have early onset dementia. like 5 min later she completely forgets unless its offensive. so one family member is gonna be moving in with one in a house. thats gonna be good. shes 97 or 98. gets tired a lot tho. i wonder if thats normal. i wonder what we are waiting on in terms of the food. oh 8 places we might be waiting for this other guy. hes a neighbor gone friend. ok so we ate and it was really good. apparently me saying that margerat was a grown woman was rude but my mom was acting like she had to do what she wanted as if she was in day care. i was just saying she can do whatever she wants. whether it be eating or opening gifts. i got the 2 games that i wanted. i have $100 total. $50 of that is walmart and $50 is cash. baldurs gate 3 was on sale so i really only paid $4. life is good. now i have $100 check. thats going into savings. im gonna be busy with these 2 games for sure.

[trippygalaxy]

LMAOOO ITS LIKE I DIED, I CAME WITH NEW STORYS! I COULDNT GIVE U ANY EARLIER DUE TO SOME STUFF GOIN ON BUT NOW I CAN! I HOPE THEE ENJOYS WHAT I GOT IN STORR FOR LEGEND

Readers POV:

Yummy soup. I love me some soup. Wilds cookin is the best frfr and i forgot the name of the yummy food lol. Legend rn looks like he doesnt wanna eat......and yk i havent ate in like what? Five days? Im starvin so yk, im sure he wouldnt mind passin some on to me. "Ayo bestie, you gonna eat that cause you look like u abouta give it back to mr tree danglin cookin mono over there" I said in a joking tone, but halfy serious. " No, not really. You can have it" Somethin is up, for a while he hasnt been eatin. I put the yummy soup down and almost cried cause im starvin but legend is more important....totally......a little more soup wont hurt yk. "Alright emo pinkie pie, lets go" I stand up, puttin the soup down and takin his as well. "Huh, where are u goin" uhhh this dude deaf or smt? Mono i said lets not imma go "bitch i said lets as in we, get ur emo pink ass up, we gonna walk with some yummy music" i said walkin towards the forest. Time shot a glance at me, confused. I gave him a look sayin imma just walk with legend. A threw a twig at the monos head sayin lets go bro.

We were walkin with some nice jazz rn. I wanted to be far from the others but not so far that we would get lost. I looked at legend who seemed zoned out, guess he's thinkin abt smt. "Alright, tell me whats goin on" I said while straight up takin a seat on the yummy ground. He looked at me with his pretty blue eyes, very cute. I patted the ground next to me signalin him to sit next to me. He took a hot second but finally sat down next to me. I guided his head down to my lap, which didnt last long cause he immediately went back up. "What are you planning to do?" He asked with very confused eyes. "Oh ma god broski doski just roll with it my mono" I said guiding his head again. This time he stayed. He got comfortable and he looked at me wanting a reason for all this. "Somethins up with you, you've haven't been eating and you zone out a lot. I wanna know why" I said while combing his soft hair with my fingers. "Well I wanna ask you the same thing, you havent ate for a while, you only ate today" Bitch i asked first "But i started eatin today again so, you tell me whats up with you" He sighed then turned his body away so he wasnt facin me anymore. "Its just that i dont want this, I want a peaceful life without all this mess" He misses home, just like me "Hm, thats sorta my awnser for my thing, except i just miss the ppl in it....... and the wifi, food, clothes ect" He chuckled a bit, its nice to see him so calm "Well you seem to bring a lot of that here" Damn he's right "Yea but thats just my attitude, I've been like this for as long as I remember" "Chaotic?" STOP CUTTIN ME OFF MONO LET ME FINISH IMMA MAKE A PICKUP LINE NOW "Dude, why cut me off, istg ur done" He laughed at this, i tjought for a moment then i got it "Are you the sun? Cause your making me smile like a spring day!" That made him chuckle! "You such a weirdo"He said sleepily "Tankeu" We stayed quiet for a while then I felt a small snore. AWWWWWWW HE FELL ASLEEP HE IS SO CUTTEEE CUTIE POOKIE! I pressed a small kiss on his cheek, I'll tell time later.

I HOPE U LIKE THISSSSS SRRY FOR BEIN DEAD FOR YEARS AND THIS ISNT SO CHAOTIC BUT STILL HOPE U LIKE ITTTTT STAY SAFE!

DONT BE SORRY MY LOVELY ANON!! !TAKE CCARE OF YOURSELF AND YOUR DARLING BRAIN OF YOURS <3333

HDSJKDA LOVING DIS THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THESE FUNNY LITTLE GIFTS I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

#trippy answers #anon ask #tales from the void

[evandorepart2]

longgggg fucking vent post under the cut. idk if it even counts as vent i am simply relaying information about the situation and i am unsure how i should feel right now

oh my fucking GOD my brother is such an asshole like. ok so whats happened over the past couple days is that

i hit a depressive period. it is Obvious -> since im depressed i dont have energy to eat or cook much and ive been struggling with making sure to eat Before this -> we have recently got groceries and there are muffins. before this i was literally eating a slice of bread so i would at the very least not pass out or vomit so obviously when we have that im going to switch to Depending on that -> this is something i do a lot, unconciously, to eat. i have a single 'meal' and stick with it until its run out. whether or not it has lots of steps.

what happened after this is

my brother gets pissed cause i ate all the muffins and he calls me a bitch and some other stuff idr cause i deleted the messages -> i am hanging by a thread and being confronted abt an insecurity on multiple levels makes me very upset -> i attempt to deflect these feelings by joking about it so that i can convince myself that im not upset -> he responds negatively and calls me annoying + brings up the fact that hes the only one whos been cleaning downstiars and subtly implying that im lazy and never do any work. a fact he Has said to my face despite this being proven Not True many times. and none of the Mess hes been cleaning up is mine since i have not been using the kitchen / using dishes / had items isolated to a single small table -> i get more upset and decide to be honest and write a short, frank note [bc this is all over text bc he never talks to me face to face] saying that i am depressed. its difficult to eat and i wasnt even Thinking of him [as he is someone who regularly gets on everyone else for eating junk sweet food so i dont think he wnats that stuff] and i apologize for being a dick and thank him for cleaning up.

after this he does not respond which means that there is nothing else he wants to say on the matter. that was a few days ago and i do not talk / go near him. ive phsyically seen him Three times since this exchange. and they lasted a few seconds since i quickly Left The Area.

today was the first time hes messaged me since then to tell me to do the dishes. i Was going to - was debating not to but then it got into my head as a Task I Need To Finish before i could continue what i was doing - but when i went downstairs he was on the couch and this scared me so i went back upstairs and was promising to do it tomorrow.

Until i had another breakdown and completely reorganized all my projects so i wouldnt have an unproductive spiral. and then i just finished so i thought Now i will do the dishes so i can get back into doing my Other Tasks. that is if they werent done - the thing with the dishes is that he said he was going to cook. which is how it usually goes. so its not like he just told me to clean LOL

but during this time i had headphones on which are sound proof and as i was going outside i took them off and realized the tv was on which means hes downstairs. and also i could smell meat cooking, meaning he was making dinner. its at this point i was like. whoops i didnt do the dishes that sucks but also. i Have told him i was in the middle of a depressive period. i havent been eating and i havent been leaving my room at all. even my father picked up on this. its easy to assume that he understands that hey! maybe youll tell me to do something and i just dont do it. for gods sake i didnt even answer the text bc i didnt want to say id do it and then not do it.

so i went to shower instead and felt really sick standing up since obviously i havent eaten and it feels like my stomach is caving in and i can smell food cooking which just makes it significantly worse.

which is whatever. i leave. i think about whether or not my pride will let me go downstairs when he tells me hes made dinner. NOTE: my father is gone today - hes partying with his work friends as a going away thing. so it is just us.

except! he hasnt texted me at all! in fact! its been half an hour since i know he cooked and nothing has been said to me. which leaves the options. he made something else and i can just fend for myself. he made the original meal [which was burgers and takes a while to do cause he does it from scratch] and was pissed that i didnt do the dishes so he didnt make me any. or hes still cooking and has yet to text me [doubtful]

which. i dont know which is worse! and i am unsure if i am allowed to be upset by this!

because on one hand yea. i was supposed to do the dishes and i couldnt even bring myself to do that.

but on the other hand. man im fucking depressed. it took two days of convincing to get me to brush my teeth again. i am getting physically ill from lack of food and ive been having casual thoughts of suicide again. and its not like he doesnt know. like ive told him. ive left out my diagnosis papers so he could see them - which he told me hes read ! im not 'suffering in silence' or whatever. im just FUCK i dont know. i hate this stupid family.

its like everyone looks at me and goes. yea you have problems. but the second i start i dont fucking know having problems everyone gets soooo mad at me and tells me how awful and lazy and how im literally never going to ammount to anything or do anything < real words that my brother had said ! he went off very long on how pathetic i am to my father and only 'apologized' like a day later when he was high which was barely even an apology he just said sorry and then hung up.

its like every time i try to get better and then everyone around me just. fucking i dont even know man. my mom hates me. my brother hates me. my father hates everything i like and everything i stand for and completely refuses to ever listen to me actually talk. im awful person to everyone around me and all my friends and im not getting out of this hell hole. nothing is going to change when i get to iowa. im just gonna be the same shitty person in an even shittier country with people and family that i hate

[princess-pill-enjoyer]

Hi again

I'm back here way sooner than I expected honestly. I'll start off with uh the week did NOT go to plan whatsoever but I'm trying to not end of the world mode off any and all deviation from my original plan sooo I am mostly okay with that. Ish. For one, I came to my senses and decided against the mini origami as filling. It woulda been cute yeah but she is a massive hoarder when it comes to any sort of sentimental shit so was just imagining her tryna store all 80 trillion of em and I was just like... nah...... lets not. I just told her the truth in the small aggressive take-the-damn-gift note I left. Plus I didn't sit there and try to rush like I thought I would. I actually accidentally did my own thing day one then shit just kept happening and... I boohooed and slept most of the week ngl 💀💀💀

THO one thing that happened that was slightly out of my control was my aunt invite/dragging me out to this event thingy. I believe I told yall I went to pride with her earlier this year and had a good time and apparently I didn't ruin it for them! Tho it's kinda bittersweet cause of a lot just.. family shit I wish I was young enough to stay ignorant to still. It was easy to play dumb growing up but now that I am a lot more emotionally intelligent annnnd now hang around with her alot its putting me in this corner that I have no clue how I'm going to get out of.

Anyway that was not the introduction to something as it probably sounded assss I have not slept in two days and while I am weirdly alert for whatever reason I am sure ASFFF not finna stay up tryna write. I alwayssss do it oml until I feel satistfied I'll go on and on. Basically tho, I was saying the 14th as R's brithday is on the 18th and I wanted to make sure that it'd be nearly guaranteed to be there in time so the plan was sending it 4 days early so it'd more than likely be there the day before and I could just tell her not to open (ah tho.. Im honestly just hype to see her reaction I dont think I'd bother to make her wait). Tho the concoction my aunt had me on... had other plans. I lost another day of my work week on Saturday to go with her and oh my god.. Sunday was out the question too. I wasn't so much gone gone it was just a LOT. I already crying the night before so I took like 900 or so tryna force myself to sleep before only to find out calcium can effect that stuff...? I don't know I could not sleep for the life of me even when I laid there chilling for at least an hour and a half. So no sleep + nearly a gram and most of it still floating around asss I took it not too long before all this + FOR ONCE NOT WATERED DOWN ALCOHOL (ish it was this big ass can of black cherry something) so I actually felt something fr + walking around and lowkey sweating.. + her possessed weed had me like. DONE. DONE DONE. I wanted to go to bed the entiiiiiree time I was there as I was shleepy plus I'm guessing since I don't smoke too often but I have a really hard time processing whats going on when Im off her weed so even with it mostly cooled off by the time I went home I died on the spot. Then I woke up, ate.. then promptly died for another 6.

Sooooo I sent it today. Lowkey in a panic as atp nothing was going to plan and I literally hadn't sent anything in the mail in so long I was scared I'd do it all wrong. I knew I could ask but. I am a ball of anxiety. Didn't even think of it til I was tryna calm down on the way back.

Tho explain to me how even with me getting just plain ass priority mail as the box I had on deck was bootleg and me previously calculating this shit out on the website and having everything seeming fine and dandy.

Only to look at the receipt and see that it's gonna come the day before more than likely

Like.. how on earth.

2 days?? AND I DIDNT HAVE TO PAY EXTRA????

I hope it's right! That'd be so convenient dude now I know whenever I'm sending her shit I only gotta time it for two days before

Annnd I know I still said I owed an explanation for my absence and shit and I am still holding myself accountable on that. Cause I mean.. what's the point in going back on my word on that you know?

This was just a little mini something to make it clear I did not die or anything. Plus the draft I was writing before was so fucking bad. SO bad. I was goneee tryna write while I was crying and the tears made me already shitty spelling so bad.. But the little tangent I went on was kinda sweet honestly. I neveer really get to joke about my grades in school so it was nice that me just talking shit about an old situation got me out my funk for a little. I think you'd be able to tell kinda. Or maybe only I can since I can see specifics on it that others wouldn't notice. I dunno. But yeah 2 stories about my notable bad grades in highschool. Its a more personal one so I would not be offended if this is where you'll stop reading. Just wanted to say I'm alr.

My dumb stories about my grades

I used to be on a robotics team

No.. not battlebots.. 🥲

Twas a FRC robotics team. Which means nothing to anyone outside the community but for people that've done it know all the hassle with that shit. My team was particularly bad with that. I was on a relatively historic team, one of last original teams that were still active, a triple digit team (very rare now as team numbers are given numerically and I think frc has like 8-10k teams now) annnd we had a few duties on top of just building a robot. Was a very involved rookie, mostly there for scholarship opportunities but I made a few friends there that made me stick around and in turn made me pretty reliable.

Which.. ah. I wish I could go back honestly. One of the worst times of my life. It was fun here and there, but for the most part it was just a lot to constantly stress on. First off, one of the only black people on the team and I was one of the few girls ("girls" sob sob) on the team

Im now fluid and while it doesnt bother me that people have and still mostly perceive me as a woman, having my womanhood highlighted for some buzz word shit/girlboss nonsense is a giant pet peeve of mine. One of the main reasons I moved onto fluidness. It's hard to explain honestly. I feel like I am a woman in some aspects but I'd rather it not be acknowledged. The fluidness would be in like how little I want that piece of me acknowledged. Somedays I'm completely chill and you can call me ma'am and use she/her without me even noticing it really. But other days that shit. Stings. I'll go out my way to look more neutral and I hope that even for a second people question what to call me. She/her is still pretty whateverish but fem terms piss me off to an extreme. These days I try to stay Isolated for the most part cause it's so bad I'd be on the verge of tears/in a blind rage over someone simply calling me young lady. I fully acknowledge that part of it ain't cool so I'm trying to better about making preferred terms clear during that stuff and even with that I try to avoid talking so I don't even have the opportunity to be misgendered

But with that all being said... my womanhood being tokenized WITH my blackness?? Hell. Hellllllllll.

I at the time didn't recognize my fluidness but having those non woman days back then and still having to be the bubbly girl rookie for a good I think 20-25ish hours a week was a lot. I was a tryna be the bubbly girl everyone expected me to be while also being shoved into a leadership position because of that previously mentioned tokenization. Which was hard as is. I wish I could go back then and just show my dumbass what I am now. I'm sure I woulda quit on the spot annnd came to my spicy basics style that I am now :)

Ah but slight tangent. Anyway uh that all was going on but I actually had more there going on. Our team was also had a lot of cattiniess and fakeness going on. A longtime family of the team had previous issues with them shoving their kids to the center of attention with EVERYTHINGGG. It was extremely frustrating as they'd want them to be the leader of anything worth a damn. On one hand, made sense. They were very talented and they were experienced in a lot of the shit we were doing. However, it ain't exactly a great look to have the team be essentially these two and everyone else just being the help. Plus, one was a junior and we had a strict rule about no one coming back to be a mentor for at least 2 years after you graduated hs (cause of previous events/drama before my time there, lowkey think it's a massive mistake as most alumni build enough of a life outside of the team in the time to the point that they can't/won't come back 95% of the time) so once he left it'd leave a huge skill gap if we allowed it. That and, I won't lie, the boys were dicks when they got down to business (a weirdly common trait with future engineering/computer science majors for whatever reason). While even in the short time I knew them I could see it mostly being due to their parents treatment of them, it was not a common thing apparently.

I tried to stick up for them where I could and talk and scold them when I could see they were out of line. I'm not usually all that bold but. At that point I was there more than I was home so I got a lot more comfortable airing my opinions there. Welp. Sort of. Me doing that somehow someway turned me into the fucking teams therapist. It was okay at first when I was handling a pair of privileged but well meaning and confused boys and it was all of my own will. But that shit turned into EVERYONE coming to me for shit like that. I've heard damn near everyone's dirty secrets at that point

Shoot. Mentors going through divorce and fantasizing/crushing on other mentors, them same grown ass mentors coming to me to whine and ask about the boys, this one team member with a weird savior complex that led him to whine and throw tantrum after tantrum since he wasn't getting his way, meeting my ex best friend and dealing with her abusive mother and her various now very obvious bpd related relationship issues, met my ex through that and promptly got groomed...

That was on top of the already complicated duties of just being on the damn team anyway. We were there damn near everyday for at least 3 hours at a time, including over 12 hour days on Saturdays. I was being pulled in every direction. Every two seconds I was tending one issue or another. Either dealing with the two faced team that would talk all partnership and fairness at large meetings and gatherings but regularly talk shit about any and everyone on the team, running to the rescue of my ex best friend whether that was wiping her tears because of something her mom said or did or helping her get with whatever dude she was interested in at the time or listening to my ex's whining about whatever he was stressing on which was usually my ex best friend that he played being over but like 2 mo after he fucked me over claimed he was always in love with. Just a lot for a 15-16 y/o to be dealing with. Especially with me going from not having friends close enough to have issues like that to having EVERYONE seeing me as they damn bestie

Which led to me to severely neglect myself. I wasn't showering the way I should, I was constantly picking at my skin (mostly my face ngl) and I started cutting around this time. I was extremely suicidal as well but I knew if I killed myself at that time it'd be a massive inconvenience for everyone since they were all depending on me. I started talking to my ex all night and sleeping every other day to accommodate. I started to completely forget about school entirely.

My grades tanked by my standards. I usually keep mostly high A's with a few B's in classes that were less lenient with my forgetfulness when it came to homework. But I started going from that to mostly b's and a few a's. I was just exhausted. I was ripping and running almost everyday and it wasn't even at its peak

The second semester was a lot more hectic with robotics, we had competitions left and right which started making me behind in a few classes. We at first would just miss a friday here and there but then it started to be Thursdays and fridays. THEN a week for world champs which was AWFUL to catch up from. Most of the teachers did not care that we were dipping and just gave us the work and we were to have it done by like... either the day we came back or a few days after. It varied ofc and i cant remember specifics specifics but i know it wasnt that that lenient.

Plus heightened tensions with the team as it was build/comp season, it was bad. Constant drama. Constant. I couldn't escape it. Shit tankkkkkked my GPA. Even as the comps and shit slowed down it was still so much extra and around this time I was in the "talking stage" with my ex and I was sometimes going days and days not sleeping tryna talk with him, with a quick nap for the like hour and a half I was home before robotics..

I semi fixed it by the end of the year. Mostly anyway. My ex best friend had an incident that landed her in mental institutes a few diff times so I had one less client to worry about for a little while. Once she came back I think me and my ex started dating like 2 weeks before the seniors graduated and left which was like a month before the rest of us got out. All that going on made me semi relax and get my shit together

It was as fixed as it could be lmao. I think I had a single A and all the rest were B's with an exception of economics....

Most teachers just ain't say nothing when I'd set an old assignment somewhere. They'd grade jt and boom. That's that. The teachers that would notice notice I didn't even bother trying and I'd instead do the last few assignments to the best of my ability and make sure I'd ace or damn near ace every test and that month with me dating my ex but not seeing him at school made things a lot easier. I didn't think I really needed to like FIGHT to keep his attention as much so I was sleeping more often. Plus, drama teamwise got a lot better as most of the team graduated and we went back to the non comp season schedule so wayyyyyyy less meetings and shorter ones too. Overall more sleep and less stress so more focus on school

Man.. and side note why the first week I was with my ex my skin damm near completely cleared?? That shit makes me want to kms looking back that is NOT fair 😭

Anyway. Everything got a lot better and having an entire month to pretty much exclusively focus on school was great. It was bout 30ish of the workload so long as I wasn't doing absolutes nothing through the year I could get a decentish grade. Plus, my issue was never that I wasn't understanding or remember what they were teaching. I would wear an earbud and listen to music during class and the switching focus between that helped me remember stuff better as I wasn't daydreaming or thinking as much.

Sooo for most I was all good. The tests were good, sleep was good, some old assignments were put in and all my new ones were pretty much 85-100 everytime, and most tests were a breeze. The assignments definitely helped ofc but for most classes me having consistently great test scores kept me at a mid-high grade anyway so the assignments just leveled shit out.

ECONOMICS HOWEVER. Holy God bruh. THE SHIT WAS ASSSS. The teacher I got was notorious for her horrible teaching, to the point multiple seniors warned me to switch out of her class if I got her. But, my dumbass not understanding how to do that mess, I was too honest on why I wanted to switch classes and got sat down and denied. They told me they couldn't switch me for shit like that and they said she had a whole other teacher with her now so it should be better anyway

Wrong.

Horrible bruh. HORRIBLE. 99% of the tests were just shit from her PowerPoints which was only vaguely related to the textbook. The extra teacher did us a favor and pointed out to focus on the PowerPoints and that helped a TON on tests. I would for the most part get near perfect/perfect scores as I literally didn't even have to attempt to read or anything. It was usually line for line from the PowerPoint

But there was two issues with that model

One: the little workbook/packet we were supposed to be working through with each chapter were mostly textbook based. Which was kinds hard as you were teaching yourself for the most part with that mess as the PowerPoints explained everything completely differently from the textbook and had their own examples. I usually didn't even bother cause I'd either be lost at what I was doing or it'd be some shit like oh make a poem about this or draw this and I'm like what? Fuck that wth

But two is what did it. The seemingly standard of tests being worth more than assignments was the opposite in her class. So I could sit there and clearly show that I was paying attention and I understand the concepts she was teaching and still fail the course since I didn't do the petty activities she'd copy and paste from the textbooks

I tried to argue my point as I literally only got the d because of my nearly perfect test score on the final which SHOULD BE THE IMPORTANT THING as that shows I learned wth I needed to. But a combination of an already stubborn teacher, her weird beef with me that was ongoing that entire semester (didn't believe I was in robotics fr and also got confirmed as a racist a little while into my senior year which made a few more things click as well.. 💀💀💀) and her doubt that I even actually understood the material as if I cheated... when I was usually one of the first done with the damn test just led me to drop it and deal with it

I ended up retaking the class my senior year as our school had a grade replacement policy and a special class I took had me ahead with credits anyway. Oddly enough got the same teacher again which was odd... but got it in the same hour with my youngest sister (that I live with anyway). She didn't get the extra teacher this year as dude quit last year but it didn't end up mattering cause of the pandemic. Waaaaayyy less focus on textbooks period as they ain't wanna figure out how they were gonna deal with sanitizing em so she changed her assignments accordingly. She acted stupid and acted like she didn't remember me... while ofc remembering to mispronounce my name everytime she said it 🙃

It was soo petty lmfao. I didn't even realize she was doing it until my sister corrected her a few different times. The way she was saying it was pretty common so i usually don't bother to correct people if they use that name instead as I've grown so used to it its basically a second name atp. But my sister ofc ain't used to it so she'd correct her everytime she said it. To give her credit, pandemic made it where we were completely online on semester and the next we were in 2 days a week, but at the same point... cmon now. It ain't even that deep 😭

I think like a month into us being back semi in person she called somebody a nigger bruh.. not in our class or anything but nonetheless it happened. I didn't hear too much of the context but it happened in her 4th hour class annnd she babied them the entire year to keep em from getting her fired. Like deadass buying pizza for these mfs, skipping assignments, taking em outside and turning a blind eye to a few seniors dipping when they was out. The whooooole shebang bro. That shit instantly made so much small shit she was doing in my sophomore year make total sense. I shoulda aggravated her and got her exposed earlier bruh....

Now gym???

Dude can kiss my dick bruh man was out here tryna tell my big ass to run mostly 85-100 degree weather when I not only TOOK THAT SHIT IN MIDDLE SCHOOL SPECIFICALLY SO I WPULDNT NEED TO IN HIGH SCHOOL but it ain't count cause of differences in the districts/states requirements but also had that mess as a third hour class, which meant a whole nother hour of sitting there sweaty af in another class until lunch. If I woulda had it as a 4th hour class I woulda been chill on that as lunch meant I wasn't rushing to anywhere and I could prolly whole ass lunch period to wash up if I wanted to.

But 3rd???

Got me fucked bruh

I'm not gon sit there sweaty and gross and only get 15 mins to change and get to a class across the campus (open campus thing.. no hallways just a big ass field with buildings and stairs around for the actual classrooms. Semi makes sense but still the most backwards shit I've ever seen) ANNND sit there still sweaty and half dead in a whole diff class

Semester before I barely got a B cause it started cool down to junk like 60-75 which is wayyyyy more my speed and I could do more without sweating too bad. Tho I was one of the only ones that ain't run. I wouldn't do any more than like.. 20 sec bursts with a looooooong ass recovery time. So warmup running shit was 95% walking for me and the mile ain't even attempt. I got a cool 21 mins on that shir 💀💀💀

The semester after is where it came to a head. By April I abandoned even them few seconds of running as by that point we were LUCKY to get anything under 95 and I was done just being out there. Going from MI's prolly 75-80ish spring/early summr and it not even mattering as we'd be indoor with ac all day to whole fucking sports and shit outside.. hell nah

We FINALLY start coming inside to play instead like 2-3 weeks before we dipped for summer break cause it was consistently 100 degree weather and even mfs that lived in AZ all they lives was going through it. Sooo we did our thing, I still ain't run out of habit ofc ofc but I did semi well at volleyball and badminton so that wasn't too notable. Gave me a bit of a boost so I went from like.. lowish c to a mid c which was cool

Then. Oh my god. Bro. So I got a like. Prolly 60 on the mile. Got it on some technicality that I didn't know about so I was pretty shocked on that. Second semester tho it was like over 100 and he'd be out his mind asking ANYONE to run out there. So instead of letting everyone else run while I leisurely waik and call it a day, we instead did the pacer teat

Dude explained it all to us. Basically was like every one pacer thingy is one percent. So, you'd have to run 100 of em to get a perfect score. There were ofc, the few dudes acting like this was some alpha male contest and kept going past that to show out, plus get extra credit, only to be told that was never part of the plan and they did that for no reason 😵‍💫

Ah but rewind mb mb. Uh dude explained and I was like... oh shit. Yeah I'm failing tf out this. The highest I've EVER gotten was a 26 in like.. elementary school. Shit was like 3rd-4th grade and I had since gotten A. Lot older and less active and B. Fatter. I've been overweight but not morbidly so my entire life. I think I'm now barely plus size. Kinda varying on where I'm getting the shit I'm either on the very end of normal sizing or the very very beginning of plus sizing, 0x. Uh which is oddly hard to find

Ah tangent tangent anyway yeah. I'm sitting there like fuck yeah I'm failing th out this final. At my peak I would be getting a 25% and I knew damn sure I wasn't at my peak. So I start calculating it all out.... I'd have to get like 50-60ish laps to pass the class. I'm already coming to terms with it, thinking about taking a summer class for it and keeping it moving, when dude stopped me at the end of class and STRESSED that I ran. Which lowkey pisaed me off ngl... uh but I knew why he did so I tried to not be spiteful the day of

I was tryna be a good little student. Got a matcha latte (soy. Tastes better + I'm lactose intolerant 😮‍💨) before and everything, thinking the little bit of caffeine would help

Only to damn near puke when I was running....

I could literally feel the shit sloshing around as I was going and I was like okay. I might gon head and do it so I can get out this shit early. But then I was sitting there like. Damn. Sweaty. Puke covered. And my mom works as I'm at school so I'd have to either hope that she come get me or the more likely option is they gon send me to the nurse, have me change back to my normal shit, then go back to it. Which was like ???? Nah what fuck that

I got a fucking 7 on my final bruh

😭😭😭

Dude came up to me like bro wth. You can do more. And the combo of me already being annoyed of him steady going out his way to point me out and me genuinely feeling like shit, I was just kinda bluntly like, I feel sick and I'm not chancing having to call my out of work for me to shower. He argued a bit I kinda just blinked and repeated myself lmao

Ig he felt bad or he was done with my bs but he last second made it a thing that you could continue walking laps around for partial credit. Which me and a few other people did. Which took my shit to like. I think a 50. Not amazing but no summer school so I was content. I had a high d+ but our school for whatever reason did not do the -/+ system at all for final grades. So whether you got a 90 or 100, you got a 4.0 A. Which was cool on one hand as you had a tooooon of wiggle room with grades but it was horribleeee when it came to cases like mine

Deadass was like... .2% from a 2.0. Which was like. Bruh. If I woulda got a 1.7, prolly still woulda asked for the extra .2 but at the end of the day it wouldn'tve been that big of a deal if they said no. BUT A WHOLE GRADE POINT AVERAGE LOWER? No.

So I asked. I didn't make it a big deal at first as I've never had to ask that sort of thing and I thought my argument was pretty sensible as is. And to my shock he ain't even say nothing back. Dude just did the shit and kept it moving. I'm sure he was tired of my bum ass steady working his nerves but I was not complaining. Wrote him a whole thank you email and kept it moving B)

Mb bruh massive tangent I never get to talk about that stuff anymore and it was like I was reliving it all in my head for a second 😭

#misc #excessively long #update

[golisopod-mutual]

:/

#dont read these ok im just upset lol #vent hours lol #i HATE that im still not convinced i had an e.d. im stuck between feeling like i do and feeling like i dont and i hate it bc it ends up w m #just feeling like i might have one? but i also might be invalid and faking it #and so i end up just feeling shitty and invalid. and like i dont deserve help and/or couldnt get help if i wanted to #i had an ok day today. i ate approx. 1500 calories. which is a lot for me and its causing some anxiety im trying to ignore #but now im like 'oh i ate a lot today so surely i dont have a disorder right?' #like i KNOW i fit the diagnostic criteria for atypical anorexia. i know i do. but i feel like i dont #i feel like i should be afraid of carbs and eating 200 calories a day and obsessively exercising. and im not like that #and bc thats what my brain says an ed looks like it says i dont have one bc im not doing those things #and then theres the whole 'oh you cant have a restrictive e.d youre overweight' thing that i cant shake #every time i start to really believe i have an ed the invalidating thoughts pop back up and i go back to feeling like im a fraud #i wish i was sicker so i could just know for sure and so ppl would take me and my problem seriously #and i know wanting to be sicker is not something a normal healthy person does! i know that!! #i know ppl without an ed dont do half the shit i do. and yet i still cant convince myself i have one #and i hate that if i came out and said to the ppl in my life 'oh lol i think i have an e.d' ppl would assu #assume i was lying #bc im not thin or sick enough!!! #and everyone just wants to tell me how great i look now and how awesome my weight loss has been and how ive inspired them to diet too #and i really cant stand it!!! thinking bout that tweet thats like 'ppl wont tell you you're fat but they'll tell you if you USED to be fat' #everyone tells me how great im doing bc nobody cares if im starving myself and purging after i eat. #all they care abt is that the fat girl is losing weight #and idk how to cope w that!! how do i handle ppl unknowingly encouraging me to starve myself bc they cant shut up abt how cool #my weight loss is and how much better i look now? #and i hate the discrepancy between my brain n my feelings bc i know logically i fit diagnostic criteria for an ed but i dont FEEL like i do #and the feelings usually win out over the logic and then i feel like a big fraud whos faking it

[heyitsyn]

Manager!Inarizaki

a/n: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa i would put in all the reqs but there were so many people who requested for our fox babies that it would literally take up every space :”) and im happy to comply so here it is

AAAA LOOK THEY’RE SO CUTE OMG LIKE BLS BUT IM A RIN SIMP :’)

alkdfjlsdfi

sunarin simp is typing😍🍃💞..........

ogeiogeiogei

hehehehehe

so im actually just going to include the starting lineup like i knowwwww theres subs but im only most familiar with the regulars :(

okay so anyways!!

now

you might be wondering

how in the hell did you become the manager of these crackheads

from calm papi kita to psycho tsumu,

why are you their manager

you, the cute and shy and innocent not wittle first year, somehow became the manager of the powerhouse volleyball team of inarizaki high

it all started with our dear lovely samu

hehe bet you didnt see that coming

now we all know baby samu literally is the biggest foodie in the team and he constantly thinks about food 24/7 therefore there isnt much room in there for anything else except for volleyball

basically, 

the dude loves to eat

it just so happens that you made food

your family owned a cafe down the street from the school and you worked there after school to help your parents

now how does this tie in with samu you ask

this chile was so hungry that he had to skip practice

sending kita a quick text about doing a quick errand, he walked down the street on the hunt for a quick place to grab a bite

he totally ignored kita’s warning of cramps if he ate a lot then practiced but whatever food is life

it just so happens he stumbles upon your family’s cafe

when he entered, the smell of bread and food entered his nostrils causing this baby to just float right in

you were manning the register while your brother was at school so you smiled at the incoming figure of this familiar boy

and because you recognized him, you couldnt help but grin and gasp a little

‘oh! miya-senpai!’

you exclaimed and osamu was confused because he’s never seen you before but he thought you were probably a kouhai in school

you looked young and definitely not a face he’s seen before so he concluded you were most likely a first year

and you were really cute

like really

really

cute

that thought caused this babe to blink awkwardly and nod at your direction

‘uh, hi’

he greeted and you smiled at his awkward nature

‘what can i get you today, miya-senpai?’

he must’ve been busy looking at you to actually look at the menu behind you and he fumbled, rushing to find a food to get

‘wh-what do ya recommend?’

he asked and you paused then thought deeply

‘hmm, we have onigiris freshly made! and we also have milk bread thats really good!’

did you just-

did you just say onigiri?

‘yea ill take some onigiri’

he decided and you lit up

‘perfect! the total is-’

he completely blanked out because wow your smile was really pretty

‘miya-senpai? miya-senpai?’

you called out and he snapped out of it

‘oh, sorry, here’

he gave you the cash and you gave him back his change before wandering to the glass case where the savory foods were placed

you seemed to glide over and osamu watched you with fond eyes, interest bubbling in him

there was something about you that made him curious

but he just didnt know what

it confused him because maybe you were just someone he hasnt seen before and not the same fans he sees all the time

‘you’re really lucky, miya-senpai. i just finished making them minutes before you walked in’

you commented

this took him aback

‘you cook?’

he suddenly asked and you chuckled, soft and airy laughs filling the air

‘of course, senpai! learning to cook is an essential for a business like this’

and thus created a beautiful friendship

he would come over to eat nearly every day of the week while you would happily serve him

sometimes, he would even buy extra so you could eat with him

while you were talking, he noticed you lacked the accent others from there had and he thought you were not originally from hyogo

he learned that you were actually from miyagi and you moved here just this year

‘so, how ya liking it ‘round here?’

he asked one day, after swallowing his food

you thought about it before shrugging

‘i mean, its still the countryside so i guess everything’s the same. maybe the dialect? my neighbors have strong accents, haha’

samu chuckled

‘its common over here. ya sound a lot more from tokyo. my best friend’s from there, ya see’

you raised an eyebrow

‘hm?’

‘rin. suna rin is in the team and hes from tokyo so he sounds like a standard city boy. ill take ya to meet him sometime’

nah he really wasnt

he wanted to keep you away from the others as much as possible, especially his brother, because he was a greasy mf

but that didnt really work out into plan because you approached him in school the other day

you saw him and you hurriedly ran to him where he stood with his twin and some guy

tsumu saw you coming from behind his brother and he smirked before nodding at you

‘samu, ya got a girlie running for ya’

samu turned, confused, until he saw your adorable face

‘y/n. whats up?’

you grinned

‘you left your team jacket, miya-senpai’

the red jacket was clutched in your hands and the two boys behind him shared a surprised look because osamu never mentioned a girlfriend

and with the way you were holding his jacket, the two boys immediately jumped into conclusions

well

more like atsumu started whining at osamu for not telling him he had a girl

‘i thought we were brothers! brothers for life!’

samu just awkwardly stands there and he has a sheepish look in his eyes that were looking at you apologetically

‘sorry about him, y/n. but thank you for returning it’

you handed him the fabric before smiling

‘it was a good thing you had a spare one for me, miya-senpai. who knew the rain would come so suddenly’

osamu sighed then playfully poked your forehead with his finger

‘how many times do i have to tell you to call me by my first name? i really dont want to hear anything that associates me with this bastard’

atsumu socked osamu at the shoulder causing the gray-haired boy to look away from you and start yelling at his brother

‘touch me again! see what happens then!’

‘yer just showing off for yer girlie! ya aint doin nothing!’

suna shook his head before turning to you with a sympathetic look

‘you really want to be with this guy? him and this idiot are practically a package’

you tilted your head

‘im,,, not with miya-senpai?’

suna blinked

‘but he gave you his jacket. he doesnt even give it to me. i guess its not part of best friend privileges’

at the mention of best friend, you lit up

‘oh! you must be sunarin! the tokyo boy!’

baby rin choked a little at the sight of your grin and he scrunched his eyebrows while awkwardly raising the corner of his lips to a smile

‘you,, uh,,, you know me?’

like it was the most obvious thing in the world, you nodded

‘at first, when miya-senpai told me, i didnt know who you were. but! youre actually very popular, suna-senpai! too bad i never saw you until today, though, because we’re in different floors. but! a lot of girls talk about you!’

poor rin didnt know how to react to that because he didnt want to look flustered but he didnt want to look cocky either

so he just opted to smile gently

‘oh. well, in that case. let me introduce myself to you. suna rintaro’

can we normalize suna being an actual nice guy instead of the cold stand-offish player bastard?

you shook his hand and said your name as well

like samu, he asked you to call him by his first name too since you were close to his friend therefore should try being close to you too

speaking of samu, him and atsumu reduced the violence to just bickering and they were still teasing each other even after you and suna talked

the coochi bangs boy rolled his eyes then slapped atsumu’s arm to gain their attention

‘yo. theres a girl here. try and be nice and civil’

atsumu seems like he forgot your existence because his eyes brightened at the sight of you

‘oh! heya!’

you nervously smiled at him because his hyperness and overall atsumu-ness was quite overwhelming

‘h-hello, miya-senpai’

atsumu pouted at how apprehensive you sounded

‘eyyy, why are you being nervous, girlie? im just samu, yanno! same face and everything!’

osamu knew you well enough that you were kinda awkward and you didnt know how to approach a hyper person like his brother so he naturally saved you

‘hey, y/n, the bell’s about to ring any moment now so try to not be late and ill be sure to see you later. do you want me to pick you up from your class and we can walk together?’

to you, it was just a simple offer from a friend but to the two, that was the confirmation of your relationship with the wing spiker

‘wahh, atsumu, your brother really is better than you. he knows how to treat girls good’

atsumu took offense to this

‘excuse you! i would be too if there were genuine girls in this school!’

osamu’s aggressive blinking was his signal for you to hurry along and you noticed causing you to chuckle before bidding goodbye

‘it was nice meeting you, rin-senpai. and,,, you too, miya-senpai. samu-senpai, later at 3?’

osamu softly smiled while nodding

‘later at 3’

the TEASING HE FACED from the two was unbearable and despite the amount of times he denied it, they were still teasing him

‘samu’s got a girlfriend~! samu’s got a girlfriend~!’

‘tsumu, i swear to god if you dont shut your trap’

‘imagine having a girlfriend’

true to his word, osamu was waiting for ya at the bottom of the stairwell from the one that led to the second floor, absentmindedly kicking some invisible thing in the floor

you were fixing your bag straps on your shoulders when you saw him at the end of the hallway and you couldnt contain your excitement seeing the grey haired boy

‘samu-senpai!!’

you shouted, getting his attention that made him whip his head up

the blank face contorted into a small smile and he raised a hand

‘yo’

when you made it next to him, you were grinning really big and samu felt flustered at your happy face

so he cupped your chin with his large hand that allowed him to squeeze both cheeks

‘cutie’

he mumbled but you didnt catch it, too busy trying to get him to stop squishing

you were originally supposed to go walk over to the cafe but you didnt know that osamu was actually trying to skip practice and he was trying to hide from the members

okay first off, i dont think samu would ever skip practice willingly bc he has the same drive as miya atsumu but he also just wants to spend time with you asklfjldfjdlk

but the loud mouth tsumu saw you guys as you turned a hallway

you were busy talking to osamu about some cooking chef guy gordon and he was nodding and talking but then he heard a loud shout

‘SAMU!’

osamu babie didnt know what was happening so he protectively placed an arm in front of you and hurriedly shoved you behind him in case something happened

duh you didnt know what was happening either so you were clutching his jacket and peeked from his arm to see atsumu stomping over with suna trailing behind him, seemingly texting on his phone

osamu lazily glared at his brother

‘what’

atsumu blanched and sped walk faster until he was right in front of him to yell 

‘IM TIRED OF YER EXCUSES! JUST CUS YA GOT YASELF A GIRLIE DUN MEAN YA GET TO SKIP PRACTICE!’

you furrowed your eyebrows

you tugged at his jacket and osamu turned to peer down at you and he gulped, preparing himself to hear your scolding

it wasnt the first time you scolded him as you just told him off the other day for not eating enough vegetables and fruits to balance out his unhealthy love for onigiri and sweets

‘samu-senpai,,, you told me you guys were taking an off week. why are you skipping practice today’

you were genuinely worried and you didnt seem to understand why he did that but the other two did and atsumu didnt hesitate

‘CUS HE WANTS TA SPEND TIME WITH YA, Y/N! BASTARD CANT EVEN BOTHER TO TELL ME THE REASON! YER SICK?! WHAT THE HELL EXCUSE IS THAT! YA NEVER GET SICK!’

poor suna is just watching this go down and he felt bad that you were caught in the middle

so he suggested a compromise

you watched sunarin push atsumu’s chest to make him back off and he gently smiled at you before looking at the two

‘how about we all go to practice and if y/n-chan wants, she can wait and osamu can spend time with her when hes done? besides, atsumu, you know osamu has been doing good on his spikes. maybe we can persuade coach and kita to let him off early since hes,,, quote unquote,, ‘sick’’

osamu debated but you emerged from behind him

‘sure! samu-senpai would love to go to practice! right, samu-senpai?’

you smiled at him but it was a stern smile

you just wanted him to go to practice because you knew now of how important volleyball was to the school and they needed to get all their time and energy to win the sport

atsumu agreed to this plan but osamu was forced to accept it

simp

just for extra measure, sunarin and tsumu walked behind you guys to the gym so you and samu had time to talk

you were chiding him of course because why would he waste time with spending time with you

‘just wanted to see ya, y/n-chan’

he winked but you pouted and wrinkled your nose

‘you cant weasel yourself out of this, samu-senpai’

osamu has never heard you scold him before so he was like o.o but inside he was like,,, hot

the gym was already on full practice and kita saw the second years from the door

aran LAKDJFLAKSFJLASDKF ARAN AAAAAAAAAAAAA nudged mimi with a smirk

as much as they loved the underclassmen, watching them get told off by kita was too funny to not watch

but what caused them to curiously peer behind the three was the appearance of a girl

a girl?

‘why’s a girl with them?’

aran mumbled and mimi shrugged, but also intrigued

you were behind osamu and he could tell you were nervous because youve heard of the reputation of the team

they were seen as practically as popular as the basketball team and everyone worshipped them

they were who put the school’s name in the map and you were about to meet the legends of inarizaki

thankfully, atsumu and rin walked to the front of you two so you and samu were at the back

samu didnt look at you but he reached behind him to open his palm as a signal for you to take it

you gratefully grabbed it and leaned closer in case something happens

‘KITA-SAN! WE GOT EM!’

atsumu shouted and suna chided him for being really loud

‘you’re late’

an even voice said in front of them and you leaned over to the side to see who it was from

your eyes bulged out of your head because one, wow he was handsome, and two, he looked like someone from miyagi

YALL KNOW WHO IM TALKING ABOUT BYE-

‘oh wow’

you mumbled absentmindedly and samu looked at you at the corner of his eye before scoffing

your face was totally bright red and your eyes were super wide

kita? really? of all guys? it was kita?

‘SORRY! was samu who took so long!’

atsumu lowered his voice down but he didnt tell the captain of his brother’s plans to skip

‘he has a stomachache and he was at the nurse’s office’

suna smoothly came up with a lie and he might look cool and calm, his hands were clasped behind him with it clenching his phone

your eyes left kita to notice that habit and you had a small smile because it was another reassurance that these boys werent as high and legendary as everyone made them to be

in the end they were still just students and boys

they were still human

‘oi, osamu, who’s the girl?’

aran finally bit the bullet and asked the question everyone has been wondering since the beginning

both you and samu stiffened at the direct question to you but he nodded

‘this is l/n y/n’

he introduced and you raised a shaky hand as a greeting but let go of samu to bow slightly to your seniors

‘hello, my name is l/n y/n, i’m a first year’

a few players also raised a hand but it was mimi who spoke at last

‘nice to meet you’

kita nodded at you but turned to the three

‘why is she with you? are you skipping again, osamu?’

again?

osamu inwardly cringed 

obviously, kita was sharper than they would think because he easily saw through suna’s lie

he also knew that samu never really got sick

he watched the younger shovel 5 bowls of ramen and still have enough room eat a plate of mochi and he was perfectly fine

it was silent between the four of you and atsumu and suna were looking at each other as they ran out of lies

dang they even planned the entire walk of what to say to kita

you looked between the twins and their friend before speaking up

‘samu-senpai really did have a stomachache. i was-uh-helping the nurse! um, i want to be a doctor or a nurse when i grow up! and-’

you started to ramble but because you were trying to lie and it was never your forte

ALKESDJFLKD Y/N I NEED TO TAKE YOU UNDER MY WING WE NEED TO TEACH YOU THIS IMPORTANT LIFE SKILL OMG

‘we were tryin to convince y/n to be a manager. thats why we took so long’

atsumu huffed

you froze

a what?

a manager?

you were genuinely truthful about wanting to go into a medical profession but not a manager

you were already a manager before and you didnt really want to do it again

kita was inspecting suna’s and atsumu’s and osamu’s faces to see a trace of dishonesty

you saw him raise a dark eyebrow and you knew then that these three cannot tell a lie to save their life

so you nodded frantically making kita look at you

‘mhm! they asked me! miya-san wanted someone they knew already so they asked me because i’m samu-senpai’s friend! so here i am!’

your awkward smile and stiff outstretched arms might’ve seem suspicious but kita moved his gaze from you to atsumu and the blonde nodded

‘yea! ya’ve been talkin bout bein worried of next year cus yall aint here no more so i got sum person responsible enough fer us!’

STOPP I HATE IT HERE I CANT SEEM TO WRITE OUT ATSUMU’S ACCENT LIKE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

after the longest 3 seconds, kita finally nodded and closed his eyes warily

‘alright. l/n-san, come here’

you froze at the way he said your name but suna was kind enough to walk over to your place beside samu to gently push you forward to kita

‘its okay’

he mumbled and you were so thankful because that gave you enough motivation and strength to keep going

your height was staggering between these men and kita seemed to tower you

but you kept an even and calm face 

‘yes?’

you asked

kita looked at you and he stared at your face, pupils moving as a sign that he was inspecting your eyes and every feature 

oh my god you shouldve plucked your nose hairs this morning

before you could feel more self-conscious, he spoke

‘you said you want to be a doctor?’

‘well, more like a nurse but um same thing’

‘you know medical stuff? know how to treat injuries?’

‘yes. i was a manager back in my hometown so i have experience’

‘where are you from?’

‘miyagi’

‘ya familiar with shiratorizawa?’

you cringed but nodded

‘yes’

‘are you from there?’

‘yes’

the three stooges from behind you had wide eyes at this sudden revelation because that was a school theyve played before

even the last interhigh, they were familiar of how strong that school was

the eagle and the guess monster

and you were their manager before? 

must’ve been during middle school as you were just a first year

‘so you know how plays and stats work?’

‘yes. anything you want me to do, im familiar and capable to do it’

god why are you saying this

you didnt even want to be a manager in the first place

yet here you are again

you were getting flashbacks from the war ajkfdfd

kita looked at you silently once more before finally standing up straight and pointing you to their coach who was watching the whole thing with crossed arms and furrowed brows

‘there. talk to him and you can finalize everything. i think its too early to say this but nonetheless, welcome to the team, y/n’

AND THUS STARTED YOUR JOURNEY WITH THE BOYS

akldjklfjsdlakj

IT WAS ALL BUILT ON LIES BUT WHATEVER

AS LONG AS NO ONE DIED ISSOKAY

no but really dont tell lies in general yall, maybe white lies, but try not to do that

OKAY MOVING ON

MOMENTS WITH THE TEAM

duh you are much much closer to samu than the rest of the team so you tended to stick to him more

like you would go to him first if you needed something or if you wanted someone to help you with the crate, he would be your go-to

that would make atsumu whine because he felt that samu was better than him

‘oi, y/n! im really good with ma arms! i can bench 300 yanno?’

you politely smiled and nodded

‘thank you for telling me, miya-san’

then you would proceed to nudge samu’s arm yum to ask for help

butbutbutbut

dont worry!!!!

you do end up warming up to him

for my atsumu stans, yall tend to go to him when samu is either busy or you just need a good laugh

this mans will embarrass himself both on purpose or accidentally to make you laugh lmao

you also have extra bottles for his medicine because he has adhd and the guys are like,,,, yo chill

and duh atsumu would forget to take them so youre practically his reminder

we all know how tsumu was practically attacked that one time when he insulted those girls, right?

yall may have forgiven but i will never forget >:(

well, during matches, you as their manager, always have to tell the stands to be quiet when atsumu is serving 

but no one told you this

you kind of figured it out during your time like when his eye would twitch if samu was talking to suna too loudly or when he would close his eyes to shut off his hearing because of the loud spikes on the other side

you noticed it

so you would go to the stands and nicely tell them that if they see atsumu serving, to be quiet

‘i understand you are all excited when he does his serve but we would all benefit more you could release that excitement inside and silently’

*cue atsumu pretending to faint in sunas arms*

OH SPEAKING OF SUNA

YES I SAID THAT I DONT REALLY LIKE FANON SUNA BC,,,

WEED

AND DRUGS

AND RUDE 

JUST OVERALL

NOT RECOMMENDED

but canon suna :”)

as a player, suna is seen as really manipulative and snarky and witty

he loves to poke fun at the other team, even his own, and just all-around annoying

but off-court

suna is a very quiet and reserved person

totally different from the one who talks and yaps constantly to the other side of the net

and hes a really pure person in some topics

like he would turn red when you would compliment his new picture that he posted in inasgram 

PLEASE SUNA IS TOTALLY A PHOTOGRAPHER LIKE HE TAKES PICTURES OF SUNSETS AND STUFF

or when you would offer to bandage him up for him because it’s hard to do it himself and your hand would touch his

dont tell anyone this but suna is very relieved that you and samu weren’t dating

thats all

thats all for now

;)

OOOO kita!!!

okay so kita is the captain, right?

but he doesnt play

like he plays rarely and aran is usually the on-court captain

this causes you and him to be at the sidelines a lot

he would tell you what he thinks would happen next or what the next plan should be and you would provide your own input

in a way, he was the one who really taught you the mechanics of volleyball and he would tell you the different tricks that techniques that the twins came up with 

what makes you really soft and fall for him is when he starts to compliment his players

his pride in aran for being one of the top aces that has led them to nationals

his pride in mimi for being able to go on the longest on court and not be tired

his pride on akagi for being able to receive each ball and successfully give it to their setter

his pride on hitoshi for being the one who could handle the team personality wise and his plans for him to be his successor

his pride on ATSUmu for being the best setter he’s ever seen and his drive to get better no matter what

his pride on samu for being so strong and still getting stronger despite his dream career to be something not volleyball-related

his pride on sunA being motivated enough to help the team and make sure everyone knows that every ball can be stopped

like pls you almost cry all the time when you hear kita saying that because he seems to not say it to the others but only to you

it makes you happy that kita relies so much on these guys as much as they rely on him

OH MY GOSH OMIMI

okay

so omimi ren is a very quiet and calm character

hes kinda like suna where they dont really say much but when they do, its usually important and not irrelevant like atsumu

and he didnt say much when you got inducted in the team as a manager

like he just stared at you and you were just like o.o

ngl he did scare you a bit bc of his tall height looming over you and the way his dark eyes just pierces you through your soul

hes the type that you cannot willingly tell a lie to him bc you know he will find out one way or another

he can see right through you

maybe thats what makes him such a good middle blocker

but you started to warm up to him really quick and he would sometimes walk you home if the others cant mainly bc he knows his appearance will make anyone back off

its the simple things that make you appreciate him

two words: ginjima hitoshi

he is so two-faced

NO LISTEN BEFORE YALL BEAT ME UP JUST HEAR ME OUT

you know how like the 4 second years (PLEASE I KNOW THERES A GUY NAMED YUTO BUT LIKE I DONT KNOW MUCH ABOUT HIM AAAAAA TELL ME IF YOU WANT HIM IN HERE)

like suna, the twins, and hitoshi

the twins are the annoying ones who causes trouble, suna is the one taking pictures and evidence while cheering them on, and hitoshi is the one trying to break it up

BUT

i think that hitoshi is really the worst out of the 4 and he keeps in because who else would be the responsible one of the bunch

hello? they were about to be third years next year like are we really gonna go on with possibly a miya twin or suna being captain?

no

so he tries to force down his inner chaos to take on the role of the responsible one

BUTTTTT

you try to release that inner chaos

you sometimes hear him egging on atsumu under his breath like ‘do it’ but quietly so no one hears him

and youre like

?-?

please? we’re not? supposed? to allow? atsumu? to eat? and swallow? a whole? raw egg?

at first, duh he was also like that with you but you want him to be himself and be comfortable with you so you work hard to make him open up

now

you kinda regret it

because he now wants to go through the mcdonalds drive-thru, with no car, just to get mcflurries

you stared down at hitoshi from your bedroom window with a confused expression

‘but? you dont have a car?’

he grins up at you

‘but i got a CART! they said as long as it’s a car and car is in the word cart and the extra ‘t’ is just a bonus!’

‘hitoshi no-’

AAAAAA MICHIMICHI BABY

so akagi is the libero of the team and he is the one responsible for the make sure the ball doesnt touch the ground type of thing

you get really worried about him bc he does a lot of flying saves and his knees always get roughed up and such

so you try and stitch him up as much as you can like you even send him sites for good warm packs to buy

something that isnt known about akagi is that he, like atsumu, really likes to cook

but more like

he bakes

he bakes as a stress reliever and its like his meditation time

you go over to his house a lot to go bake something w him and share it to the guys later on

during ina get-togethers, him and samu are in charged of the food while youre the sous chef

SPEAKING OF SAMU

we forgot about him for a sec aldfjklkfdjlk 

it was all thanks to him

because of him, you became a manager despite your initial refusal to become one again

you made friends with more people and you were able to have a fun high school life because of it

because of him

osamu does get a little sad or irritated whenever the guys start to hog you up

like he has to push down the tantrum of ‘I SAW HER FIRST!’

he wants to be the better twin lmao

he gets really butthurt when you would go to someone else even during the middle of your conversation

like he would be talking to you on the side but suna calls you over for tape and youre going

he pouts and atsumu teases him about it causing him to bark at him

LOL HE BARKS

okay so training camp

i think therell be an imagine for this so ill try to not make it as detailed

lets just say its a mess

suna really wants to go hiking bc he wants to go the top of the mountain for pictures of the stars and stuff

but atsumu whines of the bugs and possible creatures in there

this causes osamu to tease him and call him a coward and a wimp

and leads to a fight which aran tries to break up but gets sucked in anyways

and omimi just stands by and watches but he intends to intervene if it gets too much

then akagi gets taken by suna to go the hike with him even though hes scared of bugs so hes whimpering and complaining

while kita and hitoshi are off in the kitchen talking about new grains of flour and stuff

where are you?

youre at the lodge, drinking your f/d (favorite drink) and watching all this go down bc at training camp, it’s every man for themselves

there is a lot of bonding times as a team bc these boys may seem like all they think about is volleyball but they like to do something else outside of that

what they love the most is going to the beach

not only do they get to have fun, they get to relax and see you in a swimsuit alkfdjkfj

especially when kita accidentally falls asleep? they bury him with sand and make him look like a mermaid

because they are players who work out so great bodies duh

and they get so much attention for that

but they all mainly pay attention to you and oh my

youve expressed not being comfortable in wearing a swim suit and watch these guys absolutely start throwing compliments at you

but the third years would softly tell you that it’s okay not to wear one bc all that matters is if youre comfortable or not

HELP I WANT AN ARAN AAAAAAAAAAA

OH SO

we know how kita’s family are rice farmers, right?

well

he farms to help his granny and sometimes, youre the only one who’s free enough to go and help him 

so you go over there all the time and granny really loves you bc one, you take care of her shin and thats beyond everything, and two, youre reliable and make shin laugh and such

like one time, you were carrying a basket to the back deck and granny saw you from the kitchen

she smiled before waddling over to the door so she could talk to you

‘y/n-chan!’

you whipped around quickly at the call of your name before grinning and hurrying up to her

‘yes, granny?’

she gave you a bottled water then gestured down to the field where shin was tirelessly tending to the rice

‘please give that to shinsuke. poor boy has been pushing himself too hard with the field and his sport and not taking care of himself’

she chided but there was a certain hint in her tone that made her sound so proud of her grandson

you looked down at the bottle and squeezed it

‘kita-san works hard not for himself, but for everyone else. it makes me sad when he neglects his health and tends to the team instead. so dont worry, baa-chan! i’ll take care of kita-san for him! for you!’

nah bc granny was already gossiping with her neighborhood ladies about this beautiful girl that shin got and how they should be jealous their grandsons don’t have someone like you

OOOOOOO 

since your family owns a cafe, the guys goes there all the time

its kinda like the ramen shop for the seijoh boys

they go there mainly to see you even outside of practice ANDDD

they wanna look good in front of your family

like tsumu suddenly knows cleanliness bc he cleans up the mess on the table or kita is no longer an introvert as hes now talking to your mom about the benefits of rice water and her not needing one bc her hair is already beautiful

PLEASE WHAT

and even during the summer, theyve helped out a lot when it was busy lunch times and you couldnt handle it yourself

GOSH IMAGINE SAMU BEING YOUR MOM’S APPRENTICE AND HANDSOME BOYS TAKING YOUR ORDERS WHILE SOME ARE CARRYING HEAVY TRAYS THAT MAKE THEIR ARMS POP

okay imma stop now

OH DONT GET ME STARTED DURING THE DEFEAT WITH KARASUNO

I DONT CARE YALL CAN HATE ME FOR SAYING THIS BUT KARASUNO SHOULDNT HAVE WON LIKE INARIZAKI WERE LITERALLY THE SECOND PLACE IN NATIONALS AND COMPETED AGAINST I T A C H I Y A M A

LIKE WHAT

OKAY ANYWAYS

everyone was already down and moody bc of the loss

and you wanted to be at the back bc you didnt know how to handle the situation

in your time as their manager, not once have you seen them lose

during those 10 months of being a manager, you have not once seen them be defeated during a game even with practice matches

then with those nobodies?

karasuno?

last time you checked, karasuno went down under when coach ukai retired

so having them lose was a real shock

and a really bad event

there was a certain air around you all during the bus ride to the hotel which made the entire time very uncomfortable

everyone finished their crying either in the locker rooms or the bathroom so all that was left was their red eyes

the coach sent everyone off to bed and although they were allowed more days to stay, they all collectively chose to just go home and keep those excused days as a rest day

‘we all would like to just stay at home and recharge’

kita’s request was everyone else’s, even yours, as you were both worried and tired for the boys

so that night, the coaches were able to book train tickets for everyone the next day back home

you stayed up, watching tv in your own room out of boredom because the group chat was quiet and you were too tired to do anything else

the next day, everyone 

osamu claimed your shoulder and he held your hand tight with his

his breathing was ragged and even with his closed eyes, the redness around them made it obvious he had been crying

the bus that was filled with excitement before, became quiet and the sound of the engine and wheels took over the silence

you thought samu had fallen asleep so you raised your free hand to stroke his hair

‘hey y/n?’

you flinched at the surprise but hummed 

‘imma tell him today. later, but today’

his voice was low and he was murmuring to hint that this was the extra sensitive topic you both discussed a few days ago at the cafe

you nodded but made sure he knew that no matter, he still got you

the coaches were upset and mad at the loss

but in the end, they all realized that this was the last game the boys would play as a team

sure, they could have practice matches and they could play again together in the future but nothing would change the atmosphere and feeling of playing the important matches 

this was the team that brought them closest to nationals with placing second out of the entire country

they were a good team that somehow got defeated

but the coaches were still proud

they didnt even yell at the boys to take laps and instead brought them into a team meeting

you stood beside the coaches, your own sniffles with everyone else, and listened to them talk

‘-year has been the most productive this school’s team has had in decades. i hope you all are proud of yourselves as we are proud of you. you lost so you are no longer in the competition and we talk about it tomorrow. but for now, go home and take a rest because tomorrow, we will be running laps and drills and miss y/n will be timing you until you pass out from exhaustion’

you blankly looked at the coaches bc you thought this would be a heartwarming talk but quickly turned into a threat

‘but thats for tomorrow. so go home and rest up. expect what is to come’

you were just wanting to leave lmao

like you wanted to hurry home and make something for the guys to eat tomorrow

just do something to make them at least smile

the guys were quietly packing up and you watched them with trembling eyes at their dismissal

you wanted them to stay longer

stay here and laugh and mess around

like tsumu poking kita and pretending he didnt

or mimi talking about something and aran staring blankly at him but he’s really sleeping with his eyes open and startling him awake

‘guys!’

you shouted

they all stopped and turned to look at you

‘hm?’

hitoshi asked

you hurriedly looked around to find something to stall them here and you noticed the cherry blossom tree that’s blooming 

must be the time of the year

‘l-lets! have a-take a picture! outside! by the tree!’

you pointed and they looked at each other

you were acting strangely

but they were simps for you so they just nodded and went outside

they didnt even complain and went to stand out in front of the tree

you had your phone and pulled it to the camera app to raise it to get the team in the frame

they looked sad and tired and worn out but they were still trying to joke around and have natural smiles

‘closer, you guys! bunch in closer!’

you motioned with one hand but they stopped

‘um? y/n? aren’t you gonna join us?’

ren asked but you shook your head

‘its? for you guys? besides, no one will take it for us, silly’

the boys insisted on you prop it up on a bench over there because they wanted you there with them

‘hey, come here! lets all be in it!’

aran shouted and you had no choice but to follow them

the boys had to stand closer to the camera as the bench was a ways ahead of the tree but dont worry, the tree is still there

they wanted you in the front bc they were all taller than you but they really wanted to showcase you

you were their manager and the person who took care of them

they treasure you so much

‘smile!!!’

someone shouted and the timer hit zero and the picture was taken

sure, their school’s motto was that they didnt need things like memories

to not have anything tying you down to the past and to challenge yourself with everyone focusing on the future ahead

in years from now, you could just be another thing from their past and nothing else

but they would be damned if that happened

any fragment of you to remind them of the best time of their youth and the person who loved them more than anyone else did

so yea, sure they wanted to represent their school’s motto

but this time

they can make an exception

a/n: HII!!!! IM BACK AND SUDDENLY IM ABLE TO WRITE AND FINISH THIS I SWEAR I CANT BELIEVE IT TOOK ME THIS LONG TO PUBLISH THIS I CANT WITH THIS YALL IM LOWKEY DISAPPOINTED IN MYSELF AND IM ASHAMED IM SO SORRY

#haikyuu #haikyuu!! #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu!! imagines #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!! x reader #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu!! headcanons #inarizaki #inarizaki x reader #inarizaki imagines #inarizaki scenarios #haikyuu manager #haikyuu!! manager #inarizaki manager #inarizaki fluff #manager inarizaki #manager!inarizaki

[kaissauce]

okay, phucker, do it

ok let's do this @rolli-zolli @ninikins

Horrortale: technically an alternate timeline instead of au. after a neutral run where undyne's queen the core malfunctions and food becomes scarce and people resort to eating humans because sans suggested it. Aliza is the protag. latest thing that happened in the ongoing comic was Aliza agreeing to go with Papyrus to solve his last puzzle. as for the appearance of sans he has a HUGE hole on his head and a red eye. he got the hole from undyne when she got his magic eye which was going to be used to power the core. sans didnt die tho and killed the guards holding him down and just took whatever eye was on the ground and used it as a replacement for his magic eye that's powering the core. i quote first words he said after putting the eye in his socket "who the fuck took my phone?". then the magic eye went apeshit and broke the core again. oh and also he made alphys braindead by quite literally scrambling her brain. yeah this au is rough sans hasn't really eaten anything since the core was destroyed since he decided not to eat any humans.

Dusttale: i think this was originally a korean au? basic rundown: too many genocide runs sans goes apeshit and tries to get his Lv up by killing monsters himself man went fuckin insane kills his brother blah blah blah edgy angsty au the ghost of papyrus haunts him n stuff. sans literally just looks the same except he has his hood on and sometimes artists draw him with papyrus's scarf. the cool artists draw him with his hood on and has the hood completely cover his face so u can only see his glowing pupils. although people call him dust sans he's actually named murder sans

Killer: so frickin similar to dusttale except sans goes apeshit because of the human being like "join me lmao". three different outcomes come from this. i think it was 1 sans joins human 2 sans joins human kills human later on 3 kills human or something. friends with color sans who is basically his impulse control. pretty sure his soul's fucked up and Color sans tries to make his soul un-fucked but Nightmare comes in and fucks up the progress. he has white shorts, his eye sockets are constantly pitch black and leaking tar or something also has a weird target thingy on his chest. OH YEAH ALSO HE HAS BEEF WITH UNDERSWAP SANS ALMOST FORGOT. basically swap sans tried to make killer good and then they had a fight, swap sans lost and was on the verge of dying thankfully swap papyrus was able to save him in time i think

Dreamtale: Dream isn't in the drawing but his brother, Nightmare is. Sooo he used to not look all goooy and have tentacles n stuff but then he ate a couple hundred apples and yeah. he's six years old apparently. Nightmare and Dream are supposed to be guardians of a tree that has 500 golden apples and 500 black n goopy apples. the golden aples are positive and the goop ones are negative. you're not supposed to eat either of them cus bad shit happens. Dream and Nightmare live in a village and for whatever reason they're all dicks to Nightmare because ooughh he's the guardian of negativity that's not baller. he also goes apeshit (do u see a pattern here) and eats a goopy apple n then becomes the goop man he is today. he fuckin eats 999 apples jesus christ. and the last one is eaten by Dream because if u eat all 1000 apples u become unstoppable and immortal. so that would be a bad thing if nightmare got the last one. wop wop wop these dude aren't sanses they only have the body of one if that makes sanse.

Error: manlet. he's literally an error and that's why he's like that. also he's technically not a sans now, the redesign for him was so that he could be in the creator's webcomic named Lucidia. Error sans, aka the destroyer of aus, finds aus to be mistakes so he tries to get rid of them. his process of doing this is simple: get the human soul to the void so that they can't reset, destroy the au. he primarily attacks using his strings which can wrap around one's soul and control them. he like some aus like outertale because of how open and empty it is. he likes to be alone and has haphephobia. if u touch him he'll glitch out and possibly crash. he crashes whenever gets overwhelmed. said crashing causes him to shut down and reboot and he's powerless while doing so. he's actually pretty easy to beat if you know how to push his buttons the right way. in the og ask error blog made by his creator Loverofpiggies he kidnaps Swap sans who tries to help Error become a better person. this ends horribly as error leaves Swap sans in the void who then becomes an error aswell due to being alone in the void too long. Error actually regrets doing that to swap sans

Aftertale: OK FUN FACT THE SANS OF THIS AU, WHO'S NICKNAMED "Geno" IS ERROR. aftertale is a comic made by LoverofPiggies it's been SOOOO long since i last read it so i cant really give a good summary. but anyways Geno is trapped in the loading screen with the human and will die if he leaves the loading screen. eventually from being in the loading screen for too long after the events of aftertale he becomes Error.

OOF WOWIE THERE'S SO MUCH TO GO

Underfresh: he's not even a sans either. "Fresh" is a parasite inhabiting a skeleton. his birthday is on 4/20 which is ironic cus he doesn't like drugs. he censors swears. he speaks 90's lingo and dresses like a neon sign. for some reason he has eyebrows and a gold tooth. the glasses he has can change text but normally defaults to "YOLO". he can't feel anything since he has no soul of his own and just latches onto the host's. instead he learns how to act from the people around him. not being able to feel actually bothers him a LOT

Echotale: Aka Gaster sans. uhhh this one was also a comic if i remember correctly. basically Frisk and G!Sans are the only ones in the au and they're trying to find the core to fix the fucked up timeline that they're in but the core keeps changing positions so that sucks.

Swapfell: originally made by Khhoppang who left social media. Started out as an Alphys x Undyne au so only those two were designed but Kh was planning to design more of the characters. before they could people had a field day with the idea of mashing two aus together and SO many people came up with their own designs for sans and papyrus. Khhoppang left social media because they got overwhelmed with all the art reposters and stuff, pretty sad. the appearance of the sans in that au is the purple one with a scythe (i dont think he has a scythe in the og design).

Swapfell Red: so basically this is the swapfell made by people that isn't Khhoppang. community made per se. Sans's appearance changes constantly because as said before many people made many different designs. typically he just looks like Swap sans but with red high heel boots and his color scheme fits underfell

Fellswap (gold): Au made by blackggggum. so swapfell is underswap turned fell, fell swap is underfell swapped it takes a bit to understand that. his appearance is somewhat similar to Swapfell red. He's kind to his friends but if ur his enemy he'll fucking deck you. he's blind in his left eye, the leader of the royal guard, and secretly into dressmaking. fun fact in this au Papyrus has autism

Xtale: uuuuhhhh so Cross is a complicated one. he's part of the royal guard along with papyrus. has beef with xgaster. responsible for the downfall of his au and then Underverse happens and Ink is all "oh cool someone to mess with" and they became friends for a bit then shit hit the fan

Underfell: OOOOO YES UNIRONICALLY ONE OF MY FAVORITES. So Underfell sans is actually a very powerful mf and constantly has his magic eye activated because he has so much magic. This au is also technically an alternate timeline where monsters "lost their humanity" as the creator put it. so basically trust in the underground is scarce. Sans and papyrus, contrary to many interpretations i fucking hate, are actually on good terms (and no sans doesn't call papyrus "boss" the creator said if he does he'd do it ironically and papyrus would hate it). Fun facts he pays Grillby in socks (grillby accepts the socks as payment and wears them), if u make grillby laugh he gives u a jacket that looks like his and it's heavily implied that sans made him laugh because their jackets are similar

Underswap: ah yes another classic that i love as well. originally made by PopcornPr1nce who fled social media because they hated how the majority fandom treated Underswap (Blueberry and Carrot were popular names for the fanon swap papyrus and sans). Swap sans is constantly infantilized by the community which sucks and i hate it so i draw my own very super cool version of him whom i kin because i am also very super cool.

Outertale: mainly an aesthetic au pretty sure there's no comic of it. basically, instead of underground they in space. outer sans dies in underverse after like minutes of screentime lmao

Epictale: a comic made by Yugogeer. the og comic was retconned and the creator loathes the original version and made a reboot that's much better. Sans actually dies very early in it because Yugo hates how Sans is almost always focused on in aus. also the creator hates how meme-y their sans has become (like him saying bruh every single sentence, using a rubber chicken as a weapon, cookies, etc.) he's friends with Cross but not in canon. He has a purple magic eye that makes him immortal and i think only epic gaster could remove it which is how sans was able to be killed when he fought gaster.

Temmietale: it's undertale but everyone is temmie, don't question it

Trainertale: it's undertale but it's Pokemon, don't question it

Dancetale: it's undertale but you dance instead of fight, don't

Mobtale/Mafiatale: im unsure if mobtale and mafiatale are separate or not but they are very similar. basically undertale but mafia it's self explanatory

Undertale: no clue which au is this one, nope not at all/j

Bittytale or whatever idk: so take sans, make him small. boom. never understood this au

THAT BASTARD INK: HOOO BOY SAVED THE WORST FOR LAST. FUCK THIS GUY/j. THIS DUDE. IS THE REASON IM STILL INTO UNDERTALE AUS. I LOVE EM SO MUCH. also technically not a sans. He comes from an unfinished au and ripped his own soul to escape said au and became an outcode. for so long he was just a soulless husk until someone drew him and he got splashed with paint which let him feel. soon he learned to keep the paint in vials so that he can be able to feel 24/7. And then he learned how to create things with a paintbrush and the paint and spent time alone drawing up his own world until a portal appeared and took him to the multiverse. now he encourages artists to keep creating aus. he's the protector of aus in the sense that he keeps other outcodes from disrupting the script of the au, so if it's pacifist and an outcode tries to kill people he'd stop them, if it's genocide and an outcode tried to help them he'd stop them. no matter what he wants the au to stay on script. fun fact the creator of ink and the creator of error never had them interact with each other in canon, that was all the fandom's doing. Contrary to popular belief he's not really considered "good" his alignment is officially "Chaotic neutral". I personally interpret him a lot more chaotic than in canon because it's fun but he's a pretty chill guy actually. he can just be a bit of an ass sometimes. According to the creator of Ink (who is Comyet) his interpretation in Underverse is not canon compliant. one of the biggest canon things that underverse contradicts is Ink deliberately not taking his vials. if he were to do that in canon he'd become a husk again which is the equivalent of him "dying". he was described as a walking corpse by Comyet, without the vials he can't function anymore. Like Error he's pretty easy to beat if you know his weaknesses. also he has fears of empty spaces and being alone

off topic kinda but i very much love how Error and Ink are opposites yet parallel even though they were completely written without the other in mind. Error believes getting rid of aus is getting rid of anomalies. Ink believes people interfering with aus are anomalies. Error loves emptiness, Ink hates emptiness. list goes on it's funky fresh.

also uhhh sanses missing from that drawing that i can name from the top of my head

Seraphim sans, Insans, Dusttrust, He who shall not be named because he's from an 18+ au, Swapswap (yes. that exists), Storyshift, Inverted Fate (very good au i suggest checking it out), Negatale, Oceantale, Template, Pale, Mafiafell, Farmtale

my phone is at 9% y'all are spared from me going on

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