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#but now lulu has all her weird rocks so it's okay
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Bisexual!Michael Masterlist
but then i hear u calling (there u are) (ao3) - orphan_account michael/luke N/R, 933
Summary: michael and luke have always been the closest. friendly kisses lasting no longer than 3 seconds are shared frequently between the duo- calum and ashton watching from a distance, almost admiring their friendship. until it wasn't a friendship anymore.
How You Get the Girl (ao3) - 1loulu5 michael/calum, michael/ofc T, 2k
Summary: “Wh… What does ‘castrate’ mean?” Michael sounded perplexed.
Calum laughed, “It means I’ll cut your balls off.”
“Oh-”
~~~
Michael calls Calum, his ex for the past 4 years, for relationship advice.
Not Just a Stupid Game (ao3) - coffeemuke michael/luke E, 2k
Summary: A game of truth or dare leads to Michael following through on a dare.
Paint Me - @daydadahlias (cornflowerblue (daydadahlias)) luke/ashton, michael/crystal E, 17k
Summary: “Holy shit, hold on a minute,” Calum says, “is that who we’re supposed to be drawing?”
“I can’t draw him,” Michael gawks, “I’m not a Goddamn renaissance painter.”
Or, the one where Luke is an art student practicing realism for a month and Ashton is the nude model in his portrait class.
Promise (ao3) - boomercal calum/ashton, sierra/luke, michael/crystal, calum/ofc M, 115k
Summary: Live music photographer Calum does one favour for a friend (filling in last minute for a show), and his life changes for good. Finding his muse, world-famous pop/rock sensation Ashton Irwin. He thinks once the shows are over, he can pack it in and forget all about it, but a Google search and a phone call set him up on a North American tour where he'll see the man every day... Too bad his Google search revealed the man of his every fantasy has a purity pact with God. So what's a..promiscuous young man to do? Repress it? Sure, that'll work.
Tangled in a Triangle (ao3) - orsumeuphoria michael/crystal/ashton E, 9k
Summary: “You ever have him like this, Crys?” Ashton asks. Crystal doesn’t say anything, but she must shake her head because Ashton continues, “Shame. I think you’d like it. He’s so pretty on his knees.” Michael keens. “C’mere.”
Crystal’s immaculate sneakers appear right behind Ashton’s boots.
The next command he gets isn’t spoken. Ashton only has to tap the base of his jaw for Michael to look up.
The image of both Ashton and Crystal towering over him, Ashton smiling softly and Crystal looking intrigued, is one he burns into his memory.
“Hi, dove,” Ashton murmurs softly, “Fucking missed you.”
The Blower's Daughter (ao3) - MyMy michael/calum, luke/ashton M, 13k (WIP)
Summary: “Did you need something else?” Michael inquires politely a little confused himself.
“I was wondering if I could get your number actually?” The stranger asks biting his lip into his mouth quickly.
“Oh sure!” Michael replies happily. He reaches around the register to the side facing the customer and feels around for the little stack of cards with the shop info on it and the logo embossed in solid black.
“Here this has the shop number right here.” Michael points to the tiny row of numbers on the card. “So if you need anything don’t be afraid to call, okay? We can do special orders as well so anything music related we’ll try our best to get it for you!”
The Gayest Thing I've Ever Done (ao3) - coffeemuke michael/luke, calum/ashton E, 1k
Summary: Band bonding crosses the line between normal and weird, and it's Luke's fault. But the boys don't seem to mind.
The Posse's Origin (ao3) - Jay_isnotokay calum/ashton, michael/ashton E, 6k
Summary: "...I've been apart of the princess posse for a few weeks now and I still don't how you two got 'initated' in the first place." Luke said.
"Alright, LuLu, have I got a story for you."
~
Or Luke wants to know how the posse started and, well, they tell him.
up to your mouth, feeling it out (ao3) - orphan_account michael/luke, luke/ashton E, 9k
Summary: Ashton's the one who suggested it; after all, he would know how well Luke would do in the industry, since he spent most Friday nights with his best friend's lips around his cock. Luke, on the other hand, didn't know he would end up fluffing for a record-breaking pornstar who is like, really really hot, and definitely his type.
or, Luke is broke and has a talented mouth (and a tongue piercing).
your string of lights is still bright to me (ao3) - merlypops michael/calum E, 81k
Summary: Michael is struggling to be the father his daughters need. Until he meets Calum again.
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theassthatquits · 3 years
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Blupjeans Week Day 2 - Ghost
Lup Taaco founded the premier science camp for teens - Camp Rocks! - this side of Faerun almost a decade ago. She did it by herself (mostly) and has the awards, articles, and accolades to prove that it’s a success.
So where does Davenport, her investor, get off going behind her back and hiring someone new without consulting her? Sure, enrollment has plateaued in the last couple of years, the main complaint being that they needed to shake up their staffing and curriculum, but she had it handled. She could take care of it herself, this was just a bump in the road. She didn’t need the help of some fancy doctor, this ‘Dr. Hallwinter’ that Davenport worked with at the university.
Lup scoffed while thumbing through his resume and cover letter. Top of his undergrad at Neverwinter U, a triple major in chemistry, astronomy, and physics. A brief stint working at a funeral home - a little weird, but everyone goes through a quarter life crisis, right? Returning to school a couple years later to get his masters and PhD and now taught at the same university while simultaneously doing interplanar research with Davenport. At the bottom of his resume with “related skills” he put ‘huge nerd’, as if that wasn’t obvious enough.
“Well, at least he knows what he’s talking about,” she muttered to herself as she threw the papers aside. There was no use fighting it now, she had spent weeks arguing and it wasn’t getting her anywhere. And it wasn’t like this was a bad idea, it just wasn’t her idea. This was her camp, after all.
---
Okay, maybe this Dr. Hallwinter guy wasn’t such a bad fit. They got off on the wrong foot, having a couple of heated discussions (fights) about things that she could barely remember. But now, she was standing in the corner of the pavilion, watching him give a very animated lecture on stars and planets. Angus McDonald, one of their first campers and the only one who came every single year, kept raising his hand to ask new questions and Hallwinter loved it. The two of them could go back and forth for hours, talking about theories and experiments and life itself. Angus had signed himself up for all of Dr. Hallwinter’s classes for the summer and loved every minute.
And he wasn’t so bad to look at, she supposed.
Lup was snapped out of her reverie by the class laughing very loudly at some Fortnite reference he made. Without realizing it, she smiled too. Dr. Hallwinter looked up at that moment to see her and his grin grew even bigger. With their eyes locked together, he dabbed and the class lost it all over again. When she giggled at that, she could have sworn he was blushing.
---
Every year towards the end of the summer the staff throws a “spooky soiree” to celebrate the end of camp. Everyone dresses up in a science-themed costume, they use the different things they have learned to create gruesome and cool decorations and effects, and they end the night with a ghost story bonfire. It’s easily Lup’s favorite night of camp. She loves amazing all of the younger kids with the cauldrons of “witches brew” (just dry ice in some punch) and grossing them out with the “eyeballs” (peeled grapes). This year she sewed some LEDs into her black vest, creating stars and constellations. Lup glowed in the dark and she fucking loved it.
She was in the middle of a (spooky) explanation of the witch's brew when she caught sight of Dr. Hallwinter walking up to the party. He was wearing a white shirt with lines drawn across it like a measuring cup and a long red robe over it. She was pretty sure he was wearing a graduation cap, too, which would mean…
“Holy shit you’re a graduated cylinder!” Lup shouted at him from across the way.
Immediately squeals of “language, Miss Lup!” began in front of her and she apologized to them as Dr. Hallwinter walked over with a smile on his face.
“Sure, am! This is pretty much my only Halloween costume, but I do love it.”
“Well, it certainly works for you, Dr. Hallwinter.”
He blushed before saying, “Lup, please just call me Barry. We’ve been having this discussion all summer. The only other person who calls me Dr. Hallwinter is Angus.”
As if to prove his point, Taako swooped in at that moment in a chef’s costume with the letters “FE” written on his shirt and yelled, “Excellent costume, Barold! You look even more like a nerd than usual and that’s saying something.”
Barry laughed. “Thank you, Taako, or should I say Iron Chef?”
Taako bowed deeply. “At your service, sir.”
“Dr. Hallwinter, sir!” They saw smoke before they saw Angus and Lup was a little alarmed before she realized that it was part of his costume. The boy had dressed up like a volcano with fake lava and smoke coming out of the top of it. “Look, it works!”
“All right, buddy!” The pair high fived and a weird fuzzy feeling struck Lup while watching the two of them.
“I think they’re about to start the scary stories over by the bonfire, are you coming, sir?”
“Pshh am I coming? Miss Lup asked me if I could host the festivities. Now you go get a good seat and I’ll be right over to start us off.”
Angus saluted him and ran off, eager for the frights ahead.
“Hosting the ghost stories, that’s a big deal Barold. Lup has hosted the bonfire herself for the last - oh, I don’t know, 2 decades?”
Barry turned to Lup, confused. “Is that true? I don’t want to impose or ruin any traditions.”
She waved him off. “Nah, it’s fine. We got off on the wrong foot, think of it as a peace offering.” Stepping closer to him and putting a hand on his shoulder, her voice got quiet. “You’re a member of this family, Barry.”
It was a good thing it was so dark, otherwise she would have seen his face turn a deep red. “You said my name.”
“Yeah, yeah, go get ready to spook some kids, Bluejeans.”
“Bluejeans?”
“You’ve worn the same blue jeans every single day since you started, even when we do activities by the lake. I’m absolutely convinced that you only packed that one pair for the entire summer.”
He sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, you’re not entirely wrong.”
“Barold. My dude. You only packed one pair of jeans, no shorts, no swim trunks, for an entire summer at a camp?”
“There might have been a slight mishap on the way here in which I lost my shorts, swim trunks, and half of my underwear.”
No one moved or said anything for a second before Taako finally said, “Barry, you know we go into town once a week to get food for the camp, right?”
Barry just stared into space, regretting all of his life choices that led up to this moment. Lup busted up laughing, harder than anyone had seen her laugh all summer. As she wiped a tear from her eye, she patted his shoulder and said, “Well, I guess you know for next year, right?”
He raised an eyebrow playfully. “Next year, huh?”
“Well, I guess I shouldn’t make any promises until I see how well you do at our bonfire fright fest. Speaking of which, we should definitely be heading over there. I am a little nervous to see how Magnus has been keeping the kids occupied.”
---
Lup stood in the back of the crowd, letting Barry take over the hosting responsibilities of the bonfire. It was one of her favorite parts of camp, but it felt right to let him do it. He was doing really well, enhancing his performance with shadow puppets from the fire and interspersing the scary parts with science puns to ease the nerves of the younger kids. She found it absolutely adorable.
“I think Barold is giving you a run for your money, Lulu.”
“He’s better than I expected, that’s for sure.”
“I’m glad you gave the guy a chance. He’s a good dude.”
She smiled. “He is, isn’t he?”
Taako took a moment, watching his sister watch Barry. “You have the hots for him, don’t you? Jeezy creezy, I should have seen this coming. Those arguments you two had at the beginning were spicy.”
“What?!” Lup said, a little too loudly, face flushing. “I do not have the hots for Dr. Bluejeans. He’s just funny and good with the kids and very smart and looks good in jeans and oh my god I have the hots for Dr. Bluejeans.” Her eyes got wide and she clutched Taako’s arms. “Taako what the fuck am I supposed to do?”
“Lulu, I say this with all the love in my heart: don’t follow your instincts. Right now, your instincts are telling you to let him walk away tomorrow and not say anything, and they are dead wrong.”
“Ughhh but what if he doesn’t feel the same? It ruins the professional relationship we have and then I have to ban him from the camp and then Angus will hate me and we will lose our best customer.”
“Something tells me he also feels the same way.”
“But how do you know that?”
30 minutes earlier
Lup went ahead before the boys to make sure that Magnus hadn’t started a revolution of sorts and that left Barry and Taako to quickly clean up the food before following. Barry’s eyes lingered a little too long on Lup as she was walking away.
“Barold. Are you checking out my sister?”
“What?! No, what makes you think that?”
“I rolled a Nat 20 on perception, Barold. Legally you cannot lie to me. Now tell me: do you have the hots for my sister?”
Barry covered his face with his hands. “Maybe? Yes. Absolutely. Completely. As soon as she called me a poorly-dressed poser on my first day I was done for.”
“Rad. You should do something about that.” Taako started walking towards the bonfire, witch’s brew in hand.
“What, like tell her?”
“Tell her, kiss her, fight her, just something so I get to stop looking at you two making eyes at one another,” Taako yelled back without stopping.
“What - we don’t make eyes at one another, that’s not…she makes eyes at me?”
“Yeah, I think you’re good, my dude.”
The kids started clapping, signaling the end of the story that Magnus was telling.
“All right, thank you Magnus. Very scary, that story about zombie dogs. I think next up we have everyone’s favorite camp director, Miss Lup!”
The kids cheered and Lup had to pull herself together to nail this story that she was definitely going to pull out of her ass because she most certainly hadn't prepared anything.
“Are you kids ready to get the pants scared off of you?”
They screamed enthusiastically.
“All right, this story is about our very own Lake Igneous here at Camp Rocks. Legend has it that there was a woman who used to live in these woods by herself, not letting anyone else get near her. She refused help from anyone that came by, wanting to do everything alone and remain independent. The campers nearby could hear her blowing shit up in the woods and they knew to steer clear. One day, a man stumbled into her home, lost and confused. She lit off several explosions in an attempt to scare him off but he didn’t want to leave.”
As she talked, her eyes found Barry’s.
“He saw how lonely she was and helped her blow shit up. Eventually she grew to really like the man and really enjoyed blowing things up with him.” Barry laughed at that. Lup, suddenly remembering that this was supposed to be a scary story, abruptly tore her eyes away from his.
“They thought it would be a good idea to light some fireworks on the lake, so they took a boat out to the center and created the biggest and most beautiful explosion known to man, taking both of them out. They sacrificed their lives for the dopest light show, and sometimes, on a very clear and quiet night, you can see them in the lake, hand in hand.”
Lup bowed to signal that the story was over and she took her place back next to Taako.
“Lup, that was...pretty rough, not going to lie. Not your best work, that’s for sure.”
“I just got so distracted looking at his dumb face.”
“Yeah, that whole story was glaringly obvious.” She glared at him.
“I just need to get through this night without further making an ass of myself.”
He snorted. “Good luck.”
--
After the bonfire had wrapped up and all the kids were sent to bed, Lup sat at her favorite spot down by the lake to stare at the stars. She always sat here on the final night, reminiscing over the summer.
“Mind if I join you?” Barry’s voice came out of nowhere, but she would be lying if she said she didn’t expect it. Lup didn’t respond, just patted on the ground next to her. “So, your story was -”
“It’s okay, you can say it was shit, because it was. I definitely did not prepare this year like I usually do.”
“-good. I really liked it.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. Especially the part where they die a fiery but beautiful death.”
She snorted and he took the opportunity to move closer to her, their shoulders touching.
“Thank you for letting me join the team this summer.”
“I would say you’re welcome, but I honestly didn’t have much choice in the matter.”
“I know. Thank you for giving me a shot.”
“Again, not much choice in the matter.” He laughed. “You turned out alright. Better than I was expecting.”
“High praise from Miss Camp Director.”
“Would you be interested in coming back next year?”
“Absolutely. Pretty sure Angus would boycott if I didn’t show up.”
“He would just show up on your doorstep. Expect a lot of emails this year. So I’ll see you next summer, then?” He hesitated. “Unless you already have other commitments, it’s fine, don’t worry about it.”
“Lup, I’ll definitely be here next summer. I was just hoping that maybe we could see each other a little sooner than that. Like maybe this Saturday, dinner?”
She smirked. “A little forward, aren’t we, Dr. Bluejeans?” His face dropped.
“Oh, God. Did I totally misread this situation? Fuck, I am so sorry, I am going to just walk into this lake and never come back -” Barry started to get up, mortified.
“Barry, stop.” He looked at her, eyes wide in embarrassment. She shifted so her face was directly in front of his. “You didn’t misread this situation.” And then she kissed him.
@blupjeansweek2021
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It’s The Avengers (03x06)
Loki x Reader Avengers The Office AU (Slowwwwww Burn)
Season 3 Episode 06: Mrs Silvertongue
Series Summary: Living in the Avengers facility post-apocalypse in a better timeline   Tony Stark has decided to capture every moment by pulling The Office on the Avengers. All of housemates are pretty used to the idea except for you, who had just come here to finish her degree, and the newest member- Loki.
Warnings: one of those tropes. one of those hnnghh tropes
Word Count: I was supposed to post this four hours ago but my colleague called me to play and that dumb dork was drunk while I was laughing throughout. So, here it is. Also...I’m hot. No, I am actually hot. The temperatures are going up! I need some cool breeze.
MASTERLIST in bio, darlings. Tags are open (check bio)
"Everybody stay together. Do not make eye contact with strangers. Do not buy stuff you don't know about and definitely do not leave your eatables unattended."
The camera switched from Loki's barely composed face to your stuffed one strapping the backpack securely behind you before looking at Loki and the sandwich sitting on the seat between the two of you.
"Wha," you stated, still not swallowing, "iss wight hea. Sop bein a wowwie wat."
The camera in Javi's hand caught the bustle on the 'station' where you all were supposed to board shuttles to be on your way to another galaxy before travelling to Knowhere. The area was thousands of square feet wide made in a dome shape outside a planet currently under the supervision of the soldiers form Andromeda. After the War, the security had been tightened around galaxy travel to monitor any remains of the Radicals who had supported Thanos and were currently the most wanted criminals in the universe. Screens everywhere showed the flights and timings along with various commercials for products all around the galaxy. Some you were able to read thank to the translation glasses the Hardy boys provided you, others were a jumbled mess of strokes and illegible patterns. Creatures from all around the wonderful black expanse moved about in this station while soldiers who looked like they had been overly tanned scanned them and their belongings before sending them on their designated shuttles. It all worked as an airport. Except for one thing.
"Well, at least there's no random selection here that is not based on some 'racist profiling'," you quoted, getting a nod of agreement from Javi.
"Oh, there is racist profiling here," Loki interrupted your blissful thoughts, "but ever since the war, it has just been bent towards the ones who helped Thanos."
"Huh, even space isn't free from such mindsets then."
An announcement on the screens caught Loki's attention. "That's our shuttle. Come on. Lulu, up."
Lulu jumped and settled on Loki's shoulder and the camera caught a full grin on your lips.
You: *smirk* And he was the one who didn't want me to take Lulu from the desert *tilt your head* you know what... he is exactly like a choco lava cake. Sturdy looking outside but soft, mushy and melting aaaaall on the inside *giggles*
 Loki: she was talking about me, wasn't she? *narrows eyes at the camera* What was she saying? Javi, tell me. Javi, we're good friends. Come on, Javi. You're stuck with me. Javi. Javi. Hey. I'm the only one who can get you out of this hell hole. Javi. *looks at Javi's figure walking away* Javi. Javi! Come on! Javi!!
The creature scanning your line seemed to come out of some American writer's stereotypical description of a green alien except for the part where her huge beady black eyes had slits, just like a cat. She was stoic as a feline too, going about her job without any emotion on her face. And when it came your turn to stand underneath the scanner, her ignorance of your greetings did not help your nerves.
"You are a...terran," she stated more than she asked.
"Yes, ma'am." You blinked like a dumb animal and tried to remember to smile.
"Your business in the galaxy?" Her slow and positively raspy voice interrogated.
"Just travelling with my-" you blinked again while trying to innocently shrug with a hint of shy, looking like a questionable human-"boys. You know, sight seeing."
Those silver slits stared at you for solid five seconds, not even breathing apparently, before stamping a token and handing it to you and diverting her attention to the next passenger- Loki.
You and your bags moved to the other side of the scanner, waiting for Loki and Lulu while Javier made it next to you from the scanner next to yours. The creature looked at the information the scan brought on her screen in a language neither you nor the camera understood. But one thing that was catching the camera's focus was this text blinking in red next to Loki's picture.
"You are Loki," she stated to the God, scrutinising him from head to toe in those black scruffed jeans and t-shirt underneath a deep maroon long jacket.
"Hm," you forced out a light chuckle, "guess Tony and Clint are not the only ones who are weirded out by seeing him in anything other than his New York attire."
"Of Asgard," Loki added with an 'at your pleasure’ smirk.
"A Frost Giant," the lady acknowledged in her raspy voice. "Have you travelled to the Andromeda before?"
"I have, yes. But not in the recent years."
"State your purpose for the visit to the galaxy."
"I am-" he paused to throw a quick look in your direction before going back to his interrogator- "going there on some unfinished business with an old friend."
The lady, stoic like a rock, looked at Loki for the next ten seconds before pressing a button underneath her screen. Somewhere behind you, you and the camera could hear synchronised footsteps. The camera turned to catch seven aliens- five bulky, one bulkier than all the others, and the last one a leaner and less appeasing version of the lady- walk past you towards Loki.
Lulu, who could feel the change in the atmosphere around him, felt himself shifting on Loki's shoulders while his fur stood up like a frightened cat. But never once did that little fluffy boy leave Loki's side.
"Loki, of Asgard," the leaner one announced, "you are to come with us. Please carry your belongings with you. Please refrain from using any means to resist for you will be charged against the law of the peace fleet. Please put your hands forward so we may put diluters on your wri-I see you already have some version of them on your wrist. Very well. Please follow me."
The camera caught you, mouth gaping open and eyes out in refrained horror, looking at Loki while trying to keep your breaths as calm as possible.
"Oh fuck," your breaths forced out, "what the fuck is happening? Oh fuck fuck fuck fuck fu-"
Loki was already moving behind the lean one, the parade of bulky Captain Gantu’s following him with their synchronised boot work. One of them looked down at the camera, sending a glare of yellow through those hollow eyes before turning back, entering what seemed like an elevator. Loki stood right in the middle, his eyes shifting from the lean alien to you for a few seconds before white doors closed and he disappeared from your view.
The camera now came back to your face, which was still staring in that direction, the colour from your skin a little faded, the pupils contracted to their limit, the breaths paused since God knows when. "Oh fuck we're gonna die."
.
There was a rhythmic pulse beating four times a second while the camera kept shifting- and vibrating a little- between two windows. Out of one window one could see those bulky dudes in attention standing at one door each, not shifting even a muscle while other aliens went about their business. The other window showed the lean guy standing with another alien that was bulkier in the middle. The lean one turned to the window at the rigorous tapping coming from the window.
"Calm down, Lulu," a soothing but tired voice came from out of the frame, making the little one turn towards Loki's figure sitting in what looked like a white chair beside an oval-shaped white table floating in the air, "they're not going to let us out. Not yet at least."
Lulu, who had paused to listen to the God suddenly found himself whimpering till its outright wails were catching everyone's attention outside the room.
"No, n-Lulu stop crying, Lu-" Loki got up from the chair and came to stand beside Lulu in two strides, picking the furry lump in both his hands while keeping his head away from those deafening wails. Slowly but surely, Loki brought the hysterical little lump to his chest, mostly to suppress the noise and wave uncomfortably at the judgmental eyes in his direction. At one point the fly camera-that had sneaked in with events yet unknown- caught an expression on Loki's face that reflected nothing but murder in his eyes. But the very next moment he sighed and brought his hands to stroke the frightened ball of fluff. "Hey, hey, hey," he shushed him, his hands being gentle and his expressions turning soft, "it's okay. It's completely fine. You're fine," he hummed, almost singing it while bouncing the little sobbing and hiccuping floof in his arms, "I'm in here too, aren't I? Right? You are not alone. You are not alone. We'll get out of here together as soon as we know who is behind all this mess, okay?"
The little furball sniffed and wiped his snot off on Loki's shirt. "You didn't have to do that," Loki pointed out with no real purpose to the already made mess. But Lulu was quiet now, possibly looking up at Loki and chirping something only the God understood and chuckled. "Yes-" he stroked Lulu's head- "she'll be fine without us. Once she stops panicking. Yes, yes, you're with me."
Lulu, chirped again, protruding his paw to carefully touch Loki's cheek and chirp some more. Whatever the little one had said, brought the God to a standstill, that tiny smile on his face frozen while his eyes seemed to have travelled somewhere far. "I wish that was true a few years in the past. How different some things would have been."
Lulu tilted his head in confusion while Loki seemed to be visiting certain memories that the camera on Lulu and others around them was not aware of. And all emotion in both these loveable creatures seemed to have been broken by a recognisable voice- so low and seemingly far away- somewhere in their vicinity. Lulu was the first to turn towards the window to the view of the lean guy, jumping at the sight.
And then Loki saw you standing right next to the alien who had arrested him, all colour from his face draining as he watched you flail your hands in some untethered rage right into the expressionless alien standing in front of you out of courtesy.
"Oh...oh no." Loki's face was completely opposite to whatever it is you were going through. Lulu was shifting his gaze between him and you, bouncing in Loki's arms with unadulterated joy. Javier was standing between the two of you with his camera- filming even in the midst of all the chaos.
Before he could compose himself, you were already walking towards him, the alien opening the door for you, letting you inside the room and closing it.
"Hey," your delighted and relieved face greeted Loki, "you guys okay?"
Lulu squirmed and chirped with joy, jumping straight into your arms to bonk his head with your face and rub himself all over you. Loki, on the other hand, stood there like he was seeing a ghost. "What are you doing here? You are not supposed to be here. You didn't do anything wrong."
"Oh neither did you, Loki," you were quick to point out.
Loki: *inhales* *put his palms together and brings them close to his face* *bends his hands towards the camera* Woman!
"You don't know what I or have not done so don't act like you know what you're doing, kitten," Loki pointed out rather harshly, forcing an offended gasp out of you, "you were supposed to be out there."
Your delight slowly seemed to be turning to an ember of rage. "Oh, I am sorry that tried to use my working brain to help you out in any way I can, your highness! If you wanted to spend more time in this weird jail you should have let me know when these big butts carried you off!"
"This does not concern you so stop," Loki did not let you finish. "Undo whatever it is you did. This is far more dangerous than you can stomach so off you go."
You scoffed and mocked him. "This is fir mir dingiris- well bad news it can't be undone because they think I'm your ride or die."
Loki was basically slapping himself on his face when trying to rub off the tension- along with his skin. "Wh-ha-hyy would they think that?! WHY?"
A whistle blew from behind the camera and Loki instantly caught it; along with catching your arms going across your chest while you tried to look anywhere but in the God's direction.
"Y/N," that soft but threatening growl was enough to crumble all the restraint you came undone faster than a horny teenage boy. "It's no big deal I just told them I'm your wife."
The camera timed the perfect zoom on that face that lost a couple of hundred years as it heard that sentence.
 On Earth
"It's no big deal I just told them I'm your wife."
A shrill 'Oh my Gaaaahd' left Scott's lungs while the soda bottle in his hand crushed and burst everywhere. A shriller wail left Peter as he threw his hands at his face in the utter disbelief and fell on the ground. A cushion blew up in the tight grasp of Bucky's hands, making feathers fly everywhere, and Sam stood up with one fist on his mouth and the other pointing at the screen, howling like a mad fan. Pepper watched with insane delight in her eyes while slapping the thighs next to hers that belonged to her husband who sat there looking at the screen with narrowed eyes as if he had seen something wrong- like a glitch maybe. Natasha was the only one maintaining her composure while sipping on her margarita and looking at the camera form under her lashes.
Scott & Peter: *do a whole routine with their hands in unison* I sayyyy Y/N and Loki sittin' in a tree!!! Fake M-A-R-R-I-A-G-E!!!!!
 Tony: *confused* Wife?
 Vision: I don't get why Scott and Peter are so excited. *looks to his right* Why are they...
*camera pans out to show Wanda barely containing her excitement in her pressed lips*
Wanda: beeeecause they might have a ship, Vis. *looks at the camera and smile a wide toothy smile*
Vision: *tilts his head* but there's no way they could ride a ship in this facility Wanda
 Tony: *still confused but in a different position* Wife??
 Steve: *blinks* I guess....that's a good...strategy? *frowns* I mean...sure. *hears a sniff from outside the frame*
*camera pans out to show stone-faced Bucky sitting next to him*
Bucky: *barely hides his breaking voice* Goo-*clears his throat*-good infiltration strategy.
Steve: *stares worriedly at him* You okay buddy?
Bucky: *crumbles* no~
 Tony: *lying flat on the sofa, face down* *raises his head* His wife??!!!
 Sam: *hollering* wife wife baby!! *turns to his side and nudges the person sitting next to him* come on get in on the fun!
Clint: *nearly saves his coffee pot from spilling all over him with Sam's nudge*
Sam: *keeps nudging and dancing in his seat* somebody's having some space fun!
Clint: *moves the pot into his other hand to drink it with hollow eyes looking at nothing, in particular,* somebody's gonna die of some fun
Sam: *all smiles for the camera* huh?
Clint: nothin' *looks at the camera zooming in on his stone face*
Tony: *wheeling out from under his car with tools in his hands* HIS WIFE??!!
Rhodey: *guffaws while clapping his hands over his head till he's wheezing* oh-oh my-oh Jesus! Poor Tony. *wipes the tears from his face* I told him karma is a bitch but I never thought it would come to bite him right in his ass!!! *continues to chortle*
Tony: *stops making his green smoothie to topple the jar into the sink and walk out of the screen screaming in groans* HIS WIFE?!! OH MY GOD!!!
 Space PD HQ
You haven't felt Loki breathing since you broke the news to him. He has just been standing there staring at you with faint confusion and curiosity, still as a statue.
"Loki-" you poke him- "Loki, say something! Don't just stand there like that! You're scaring me!"
"Y/N," he finally breathed out, his brows still creased, "do you know how many people I've killed?"
You shrugged. "I don't know? A couple? Do you know how many teenage girls I deceived when I was in high school?"
"How many?" He asks with keen interest before snapping himself back to reality. "Wait, what? No. Why would I need to know that?"
You shook your head casually while leaning on the floating table. "I don't know, I thought we were sharing our darkest numbers; like couples need to know these details. Right?"
"By the Norns," Loki groaned into his palms, rubbing his face hard. "Listen-"
The door hissed open and Mr Lean Alien walked in.
"Well, we haven't been introduced properly. My name is Tsuloche."
"Hi, Tsuloche. I'm Y/N," introduced yourself, closing the distance between you and Loki, your arms rubbing on each other.
"Listen, Tsulcohe, there has been a misunderstanding here. She-"
"Yeah, there's been a misunderstanding," your stressed and scoffed, crossing your arms across your chest, "like taking my husband prisoner for no reason at all?"
Tsuloche brought his nimble green- almost as thin and long as twigs- hands together. "Mrs....uhh...Miss Y/N, Loki has killed a lot of people in the past."
You groaned. "Now you sound just like my husband. I know he's killed a lot. And he's clearly suffering for it right now." You turned your head towards Loki, bringing your fingers to softly pinch his cheeks. "My poor baby."
Loki jerked away from your fingers slightly, whispering, "stop."
You didn't. Your fingers still reaching for those cheeks. "Stop it!"
You smiled as he grabbed your hand with his and held it in a good grip. "Okay, now you're just doing it to embarrass me in front of him."
Tsuloche tilted his head at this scene, blinking those translucent eyelids before his cat-like pupils dilated a little. "Do you know he supported Thanos' cause?"
You tried to yank your hand from his grip but Loki wasn't having it. So you turned back to Tsuloche. "Huh? Yeah, I know. He was undercover there to know his plans and stop him when the time came. What else you got?"
Tsuloche stood there blankly, shifting his gaze between you and the God for a good minute, his scarcely dilated pupils going back. "Why would you marry a criminal?! That too the one who tried to destroy your home?!"
You hummed and tried once again to slip your hands from Loki's death grip but failed- though that did not stir the seriousness away from your face at the alien's question. "Well, for the home invasion part, you'll understand if you ever had spiders, lizards and flies in your home."
Now, this confused the alien further but Loki forced out a laugh at your statement.
"I'm not sure I follow."
"Well, Tsuloche. The first time you see a spider or a lizard in your home, you scream and cry and want that monstrosity to be gone from your place. It's worse if they bring their friends over. At one point you form a plan of attack to get those sons of bitches out of your home because they don't pay the rent, do they? But it is later on that you realise that these spiders or lizards were actually what were keeping the flies away. You know, the flies that were contaminating your food and making you sick. The flies that were bringing disease from all corners. The only thing standing between you and death by flies was this one stubborn spider-" you squished Loki's face with your free hand, making him jerk and grab that other hand too- "who nearly killed all my people but didn't."
"As for the getting married part, Tsuloche, if you're married, you know very well the crimes you forgive when you love someone. I mean, have you seen this guy do anything bad since the War? No. That's 'cause he's been enjoying some downtime with me and my fam, getting to know me, marrying me, and now taking me and our little cuddly alien cat on a honeymoon! Ain't that right Lulu?!"
Lulu chirped.
By now those judgmental pupils were a full-blown dilated dorks looking at the two of you.
"Oh and that guy recording us outside is...is...our...videographer. Yes! That's who he is. There's a whole trend on Earth to put your life on the internet and stuff like that. So, he's here to...record everything we do on our honeymoon. Not everything, of course," you concluded a little loud with pressed lips and a nod as you realised the mistake.
"Nice save, dear," Loki chirped with a smirk.
"Shut up."
Those blown out pupils came back to disclose any emotions that last bit might have given away. Tsuloche cleared his throat. "Well, as...good as it all sounds, I am afraid I cannot let the Silvertongue go."
"Silvertongue?" you mentioned under your breath and looked at Loki's lips in amusement.
Loki caught your eyes darting to his tongue wetting his lips, sighing in a faint sense of defeat. "You know it's not silver. Why are you even looking at me like that?"
The camera caught your brow arch with some suggestions best kept to yourself. "Oh. I know," you sang, still looking at those lips, "I was wondering about what all would be...different if it were."
Wanda: *sits wide-eyed and flushed red* Uhh *clears throat* *presses her lips to suppress her smile* *talks softly with a shakey voice* I don't know what *puts one leg over another* *adjusts herself in the seat* what she meant by cat-that! What she meant by that. *turns red*
Loki just furrowed his brows at you uncomfortably before turning back to Tsuloche.
"Well, I'm not going anywhere without my husband, so..." You sat down on the lone chair in the room.
Tsuloche was already composing his wrinkled raisin face. "Very well then. I hope you find this interrogation room to your liking, Miss Y/N because he is not walking out of here for another seventy-two hours-"
The door hissed open to let in one of his subordinates who handed the alien a tiny cuboid-shaped device. One look at the tiny thing and Tsuloche looked back up with his sharp pupils dilating to the max. "Mrs and Mr Loki, you are free to go. The inconvenience is regretted and the department will provide you safe passage on the next shuttle to your destination."
A little surprised by the sudden turn of events neither of you wanted to let go of this opportunity. "And by our destination you mean anywhere we want?" You are eager to know; something that makes Loki's eyes turn to you and carry an expression barely recognisable on that perfect pale face. Some would even say it was a butt-hurt disappointment. 
"Destination means the place you were previously travelling to. Your bags have been transported. Now all you need to do is get on it and enjoy the rest of your honeymoon."
Heaving a sigh of relief, Loki let go of your hands but still smacked away the one coming for his cheek again, making you chuckle. "I have very limited knowledge on the feline species but it almost looks like you're happy to set us free, Tsuloche." Loki quirked his brow in agreement with your statement.
"What?!" Tsuloche was a little taken aback, continuously blinking his translucent eyelids to make those starry eyes contract to their predator like gaze. But he couldn't. "Highly mistaken you are, madam. I am definitely not happy to let you resume your honeymoon with your beloved. I am enraged that you will be going away with a criminal and your monstrous little pet somewhere to spend time together. I am-I am definitely offended by the idea of this hardened criminal getting a second chance at life with someone so beautiful as you!"
You squeaked. "Aw! He thinks I'm beautiful!" Loki rolled his eyes and looked at the camera.
Tsuloche: *highly conscious* you want me to say something in that camera? Is this for their honeymoon album? *Eyes dilate* oooh! *looks at the lens* uhh ahem, do not do anything unlawful you two. Space is a dangerous place. And...and *eyes dilate to their maximum capacity* take care. *Exhales* *wipes something off his face* oh dear! That was really hard.
 Space Shuttle
The entire shuttle was empty save for your little group. The seats were comfortable and the legroom quite spacious. Securing Lulu in a seat by the window, you sat down next to him, directly facing Loki. Javier sat next to him, recording the view out of the window.
“So, you sent in one of Javi’s camera flies, found a set of rules that said spouses are allowed to meet their other half and just...went with it?”
“I also used the uninet- the universal network- to find out about Tsuloche’s species and intimidated him with a little show of power. So, yeah. I read the rules of Space and this is the second time I saved your ass, Silvertongue," you state matter-of-factly, stretching your legs as much as possible.
"Don't get so cocky, kitten," Loki purred, fastening his seatbelt, "we still have a lot of places to go. You are lucky some people like your cute face."
Your brows went up and head tilted before Loki realised what he had done. "Aw! You think I'm cute!"
Lulu's camera caught Javier signing something to the two of you. "Keep having such petty arguments and aliens will actually believe you're married," you spoke his words out loud.
Both you and Loki looked at each other. "Married? To him?"
"Married? To her?"
The unison was too much on point. But the cackle eroding into the space out of the two of you made it better.
"You're funny," Loki chortled in Javi's direction.
"In your dreams, weirdo," you added. "Can you imagine? Mr and Mrs Silvertongue?" The laughs came out again while it was Javi's turn to look at Lulu's camera.
 Avengers Facility
"No, Nat, I don't think he'll go that way. He doesn't belong there, like, mentally speaking," Scott gesticulated with a lot of hand movements.
"I think Scott's right," Wanda added.
"No, come on. He knows it's his birthright. So that would be the most obvious thing to go for. And we know he wasn't really seen as much once all hell broke loose back home, right?" Nat put forward her point of view while sitting on the sofa in her jammies.
"But if it wasn't that way then?" Pietro asked with keen interest. Nat thought about it for a moment and shrugged.
"Then it definitely would have been the latter. I mean, you were practically raised as one. He was raised as one, right?" Bucky asked Steve. The latter nodded.
"But still," Steve contributed, " there was something wrong there, right? Which is why all of those incidents happened. Are we sure he would still go for it even if he wasn't just another kid?"
Now the lounge went silent, thinking all of it through while the camera showed a very disinterested Clint sitting on the dining table to clean his guns, bows and arrows. The expression in his eyes felt like he wanted to be anywhere but here.
The camera swerved to another person standing by the lounge entrance, looking at the whole scene with utmost disorientation. "What's going on?"
Everyone looked up at Tony standing at the door.
"Oh, we were discussing what surname would Loki choose if he and Y/N got married?" Nat casually answered.
"Like, would he go for Loki Odinson or Loki Laufeyson," Peter explained.
The camera zoomed in on Tony's face, which was trying to do it's best to understand what was going on before giving up and just tilting his head and narrowing his eyes at everybody.
"They have been at it for two hours," a defeated voice comes from Clint's corner, who was looking at some distant void while cleaning his weapons.
"This...is a hypothetical situation, right?" Tony made sure. He had to make sure.
It took a second before everyone shrugged, nodded and hummed in agreement. None- except one camera- caught Scott and Peter crossed his fingers behind their back.
"Oh my God, I just got it!" Scott exclaimed out of nowhere with a new realisation on his face. "He doesn't have to think about the surname. It's Y/N who'll be making the choice."
And just like that, the seriousness in the air changed into a shared epiphany and everyone agreed without any vote against that thought.
"You guys are having a lot of fun with this," Tony sang sarcastically with judgement filled in his tone.
"Yeah, what about it?" Pepper called out from her comfy armchair while eating cheeseburgers and sipping soda, looking at Tony for an answer.
Tony, on the other hand, shifted his weight between his legs. "No. Nothing. You have fun, sweetie. Kisses! Muah! Muah! Muah! Please don't kill me in my sleep tonight."
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Kai headcanons
I got tagged by the lovely @imacrowcawcaw to make this super fun tag. Thx lulu
Game rules: if you were to write a character summary (and/or headcanons) about yourself, what would it sound like?
Get ready for a sea of fake deep shit bc I’m a hoe. A pretentious hoe disguised as an “i hate pretentiousness” hoe
Bad liar and chronic oversharer (but likes to pretend shes so mysterious)
She is not ugly by any means, but she would not consider herself ✨beautiful✨. You are more likely to be struck by her vibe than her looks, she doesn’t mind that. She has a rock n roll heart, and belongs to sleepless nights.
Her hair is finally mid-length, for some reason she rocks the middle part. It is wavy, dark brown, and her ends are dyed blue—she thinks it gives her an edge. Like her hair, her eyes are of pure chocolate, the color of fertile earth, and very intense. Not long ago she felt boring; brown hair, brown eyes, milk coffee brown skin, but time has shown her to love it.
She speaks English with barely an accent because she bullied herself into losing it when young, now her English voice sounds different. If she speaks it for a prolonged time it begins to show, it is like acting in a play, it hurts her throat and tires her out. This is why she prefers to sing in Spanish, it lets her use her “real voice”. She’ll mix fancy words with fucked up speech like its nothing.
She has a thing for musicians. and she wishes she could play guitar but it scares her to learn; her favorite thing to do is sing but she will not admit she tries.
Her style is self-describes as “artsy-goth, yes i like alt rock” and she probably secretly kins David bowie. A sucker for 70s-90s style, art, and music culture.
Loves days at the beach and impromptu dance parties. Fun is the #1 priority, along with good music and mental stimulation
Prejudice is the stupidest thing in her eyes, she judges only by what she knows, and no quirk would make her think les of someone. Her goal is to make her friends feel comfortable with being weird around her. Justice and empathy are very important to her, and the only way she judges harshly is if someone lacks humanity or is prejudiced. feminist and will volunteer and attend protests whenever she can.
purple girl. all that she is is purple. She feels purple deep within her; mysterious, unknown, the same purple of the dark side of the moon. She dreams of space and extraordinary things; is in love with the ocean and space, the universe resides in her and the ocean waves roar around her. Shell say shell show you her home and take you to the beach. Though she cannot reach that which calls her, she creates her own universe with an paintbrush and a swift hand. She is pretentious enough to write that down and post it online
Halloween enthusiast.
Never has she felt like she belonged or connected with anyone, and its not a curse, she just has to belong to herself that much more. She loves her friends but still thinks she doesn’t feel things as she should. Doesn’t have a person she clicks or can connect with, but it is okay. She still enjoys moments with her friends and is as attentive and good a friend as she can be.
On the other hand she is loud, ridiculous, and irresponsibly funny at times. She has been described as a sober drunk/stoner by friends. Kinda gross but for comedic purposes, can make up funny punchlines at the moment like its her job (but it has to come naturally). Touchy/flirty friend. Dancing and singing, doing stupid things for the thrill, and deep/borderline stupid conversation will always be a YES. Laughs at inappropriate times, and jokes when she should be serious.
While honesty and justice are her mantra, she finds it hard to express or even connect with her emotions sometimes, its easy for her to shut them out when it suits her and feels nothing for extended periods of time. Uses comedy to cope, it works.
She does not believe in god, but she loves astrology. Aquarius is her sun, that’s all i can say. Her description of what she believes in sounds strangely similar to The Force in Star Wars; she is aware, it wasn’t on purpose. 
connecting with people fuels her. She hates being online, prefers to get lost. Its safe to say she is funny and has vast knowledge about varying topics; for this she loves to always have something to contribute to every conversation.
The way to get to her is to engage her in discussion (about art, music, the universe, humanity) and keep her thread going, she loves to hear and explore different topics with people.
But not always, sometimes its better to dig at and make fun of each other, good conversation can get boring.
She is an artist, that is plain. You’ll feel her art before she has even mentioned it. Her hands and thighs are always stained with different colors; she smells faintly of paint, wood, and paper; and her eyes are always searching, imagining. art is reflected in everything bout her, the way that she acts, how she talks... She uses any medium se can get, and if she does not know how shell learn. Sometimes creation is the only thing that she desires in life. 
Despite all that serious bullshit above, shes not. shes incredibly goofy, laid back, and fun, loves going with spontaneous ideas that can sometimes be a bit dangerous, and wishes to know all about the strange and unusual parts of people. She is someone you can be open with. Shell jump at any chance of adventure, you can run away with her anytime you want.
Tagging: @safari-karrot @satans-helper @thejujuhound @turquoisehairedgirl @silver--storms @v-i-d-e-n-o-i-r @thenewagecrisis @jake-kardashian @moonchildwildheart @love-philautia if you wanna
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umbraastaff · 5 years
Text
Pokemon: Century Version
1.3 - Integration II
[first] [previous] [recent] [teams]
“I can’t belieeeeve,” Taako moans, lying on his back on his bed, head not even up on his pillow. His new eevee is standing on his chest as he pets it.
“I cannot believe!” Lup parrots, pacing up and down the room. Her eevee is playing around with her raichu at the side of the room, darting up and down beside the wall.
“All the damn work we do to keep off the higher-up’s bad side and here they are insulting us. Like we don’t already have teams planned for this mission!”
“God, they’re adorable, though. I hate this.”
“They’re cute as hell.”
“I’m naming this one Gingerbread. You hear that, Gingerbread? You have an adorable name and could get away with crimes.”
Her eevee looks at her and squeaks.
Taako rolls his eyes and looks at the eevee on top of him. “You don’t get a name. You’ve gotta earn it.”
“Just admit you can’t think of a good one,” Lup says.
Taako scoffs. His eevee purrs at him.
“You sure these things aren’t cats, Lulu?”
“I don’t know. Taxonomy’s a bastard.”
--
The IPRE’s massive greenhouse is a place where the department’s grass-type pokémon frequently roam free, but Davenport finds Merle’s party all gathered around the dwarf.
He approaches the party briskly. Merle and his Ludicolo are leading the rest of his pokémon--along with a few tagalongs Davenport doesn’t recognize--through a dance exercise. Given that most of them are quadrupeds, the dance doesn’t translate very well, but the instructors still cheer the rest along without hesitation.
“I’m glad to see you’re getting your eevee acquainted with the rest of your party.”
“Hey, Skip! Take five, everyone.” The pokémon halt at Merle’s command, except for the ludicolo, who keeps dancing to an unheard tune. “Yeah, it’s goin’ well! Kid’s got moves.”
The eevee climbs up the ludicolo’s arm as it dances, perches on its shoulder, and sings/squeals along to the swaying movements.
“I came to ask about evolving it. Lucretia has asked me to put in a request for an Ice Rock sample, and I want to confirm with you about getting a Moss Rock piece as well.”
Merle squints. “Why?”
“Well, forgive me for presuming, but I thought you might be inclined to evolve it into a leafeon.”
“Oh,” Merle says, but the confusion doesn’t leave his face. “And what’s the Moss Rock got to do with it?”
“That’s…how an eevee evolves into a leafeon, Merle,” Davenport says.
Merle laughs. “An eevee doesn’t need a stone to evolve!”
“It’s not a--”
“Rock, stone--whatever, man! Eevees evolve through exposure. Positive experiences in the greenhouse will get this one to evolve into a leafeon, if it wants to evolve at all. Just like an eevee living by a volcano will grow into a flareon whether you give it a fancy ol’ Fire Stone or not.”
Davenport crosses his arms. “Alright, so no Moss Rock? And you’re sure it’ll evolve before the mission?”
“If it wants to,” Merle says noncommittally.
“Well, that’s good. Let’s not be in the business of forcing anyone to evolve.” Davenport shrugs. “Alright, I won’t keep you from your, er, dance lesson any longer.”
“Wanna join us?”
“Ha. Maybe next time.”
--
“This is Big Boof,” Magnus tells his new eevee. The arcanine sniffs at the small, new arrival.
The eevee shakes as its face comes close, whining. After a few moments, it falls over altogether.
“Oh no!” Magnus reaches out to help it stand back up. “You’ve got some jellylegs, don’cha.”
The eevee squeaks. Boof sits back when Magnus waves at it, giving them some space.
“D’you mind taking a break? The newbie’s a little nervous--we’ll work up to you!” Magnus says. Big Boof looks disappointed, but it obliges when Magnus holds out a pokéball.
Some time later, there’s banging on the door to the dorm room. It startles Magnus’ rockruff and eevee out of their play, and the eevee almost falls over again.
“Hush!” Magnus shouts as he runs for the door, taking wide steps over the paper scattered in the main room. “You’re scaring the baby!”
He opens the door to Lup. “Oh! Hey.”
“Hi!” Lup says, stepping into the room as soon as Magnus moves out of the way. “How’re things going with your eevee?”
“Better before you nearly knocked the door down! What’s up?”
“Oh, sorry. Is Lucretia here?”
“Nah, she has a late class.”
“Aw, lame.”
“That’s what I said when she was picking out schedules last year! But she says lots of seminars and stuff happen around noon, and she kept missing them ‘cause of class? So…”
“Still.”
“Yeah.”
Lup crosses her arms. “So, you named your eevee yet?”
Magnus leads her past the painted papers and back into his room, where Lassie is still trying to coax the eevee into playing again. “I was thinking Jellylegs? Is that anything?”
“Oh, that’s cute!”
“Right? What about yours?”
“I’m going with Gingerbread.” Lup tosses a pokéball, sending her own eevee out into the fray. Its sibling and the rockruff immediately come over to sniff at it.
“Aww!”
“I know.” Lup says. “Is your rockruff trained not to hurt friends with its neck?” she asks, watching carefully as the three pokémon hop around each other.
“We’re workin’ on it,” Magnus says. “It knows to stop if someone acts hurt, though.”
--
A knock sounds on the lab door. “It’s unlocked,” Barry calls out, his hand not pausing in its scribbling.
The door creaks open, and Lucretia peers through. “Hello.”
“Oh, hey! One sec, I’ve gotta…” Barry writes increasingly incomprehensible scribbles into his notebook as he tries to speed up, and then drops the pencil with finality. “Sorry, writing, uh, reactions to…” he catches himself before he launches into an explanation. “...Stuff. What’re you, uh, what’s up?”
“I thought it would be good to have my eevee battle another at its own speed. Unfortunately, none of my pokémon are both small and patient enough for that.”
“Ah, so you wanna pit it against its sibling instead?” Barry says mockingly, raising an eyebrow.
“Oh, please.” She rolls her eyes. “But yes, I thought it might be good for them.”
“No, yeah, that’s actually a great idea,” Barry says, fishing in his bag for the right pokéball. “You wanna do this now?”
Lucretia holds up her pokéball in affirmation. “Let’s act like it’s a regular battle? So they learn how they’re handled.”
“Sure thing… I choooose…” Barry finally recovers the correct pokéball from his bag and tosses it forward. “Goldilocks!”
“You already named it?”
“Yup. You haven’t?”
“Well, kind of…” she throws her own pokéball. “Eve, come out!”
“That’s gonna be weird when it evolves.”
“I knowwww. But nothing better came to mind, and now it’s stuck.” She raises an eyebrow. “And Goldilocks is going to be just as strange unless you end up with a Jolteon.”
Barry shrugs. “Got me there. Byte, what’s the expected moveset for these guys? Eevees, three weeks old.”
The rotom dex beeps a few times, then says, “Tackle. Growl. Tail Whip.”
They wait a few moments, but it says nothing else. Barry chokes back a laugh. “Arceus. Is this what it’s like when you start a journey?”
“Little more exciting,” Lucretia says with a smirk. “Speaking of, these two are getting antsy.”
The eevees are fidgeting and squeaking at each other, unsure of what to do without orders. But it seems they’ve at least been trained in battle behavior, more or less.
“Hmm,” Barry says. His eevee twists around to look at him. “Well. Growl?”
It lets out a little rumbly sound that might well be a purr. Its opposing sibling’s hair stands on end as though it suddenly grew horns.
“You growl right back,” Lucretia says, and her eevee obliges, making Barry’s step back with trembling hind legs.
Barry stares at them for a few moments, and then he looks at Lucretia, deadpan. “Growl.”
Her eevee reacts just as dramatically as the first time.
“Oh no,” she says. “Oh, you’re not winning this. Growl.”
His eevee staggers to the side, unbalanced by the forced weakness.
“Growl.”
“Growl again.”
“Annnd growl.”
This time, mid-growl, Barry’s eevee sneezes. Lucretia’s jumps nearly two feet in the air and lands with its hackles raised to the sky.
Barry and Lucretia break down laughing. “We can’t,” Lucretia wails. “Oh my god, this battle’s literally never going to end.”
Barry’s voice breaks as he tries to respond, “W-We can just--let’s just call a truce and use Tackle--”
“No, no, we’ve been growling for a minute straight, do you know what growl does--”
“Oh my god,” Barry says, a new wave of laughter coming with the realization. “Holy shit, the attacks are gonna do nothing.”
“Do you ever think about the consequences of your actions, Barry Bluejeans!”
The eevees are chittering and hopping below them, unsure of what’s going on but clearly enjoying the happiness in the room.
“Okay, okay, okay, wait, we can fix this,” Barry wheezes, and he points at his eevee. “Tail whip.”
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Text
It’s The Avengers (03x04)
Loki x Reader Avengers The Office AU (Slowwwwww Burn)
Season 3 Episode 04: She Who Seduces
Series Summary: Living in the Avengers facility post-apocalypse in a better timeline   Tony Stark has decided to capture every moment by pulling The Office on the Avengers. All of housemates are pretty used to the idea except for you, who had just come here to finish her degree, and the newest member- Loki.
Warnings: wow! lots of stuff you guys want but at the same time aren’t gettin’ any
Word Count: It’s a weird feeling to be tagged as an essential worker, but not be made to feel like an essential worker? I mean I feel I’m not one. But if I am being forced out of my house, being exposed to the possibility of catching the virus, being ignored by corporate, media and the govt as humans, I have to wonder why am I even sitting here. I get the doctors and nurses and no amount of verbal praise can even come close to what they are doing right now. But if me and my colleagues have be ignored and made to work at large, I’d rather we do it from the safety of our homes, man. (Just when I had started to get better on my own)
MASTERLIST in bio, darlings. Tags are open (check bio)
The camera focused on a blue egg the colour of sky lying in the dirt, zooming in on it a little before jolting back as the egg moved. The camera did the entire cycle once again before a fluff hand tried to smack that egg like a cat curious about this unexplained cute atrocity in front of them.
“Lulu!” a voice called from somewhere in the distance in the midst of a mixture of all sorts of noises- like the ones experienced in your neighbourhood local market. But the camera did not budge till it recorded the sky egg crack bit by bit before a pair of blue eyes popped out on a little white head. Those gorgeous cute eyes looked at the camera, blinking out of coordination before looking at the little golden fuzzy arm slowly coming towards its head. Blinking again- this time with curiosity- the blue eyes froze on that snail-paced extension of a husk behind the camera before a tiny void opened under those innocent eyes to take that husk arm into it and bite down with an audible crunch.
Javier’s camera swiftly turned to Lulu’s cries, finding him far behind in the crowd of aliens trying to knock something away from his arm.
The little husk- screaming and howling like a little dog in pain- was rescued by pale fingers catching hold of the round head that was too stubborn to let go. A little squeeze and those surprisingly vicious teeth let go, breaking the remnants of the eggshells to let out white paws attached to the tiniest legs.
“Scram,” Loki ordered the white alien- who ran away as quickly as possible- before turning towards Lulu, “what were you trying to do with that beast? Have it for breakfast?”
Lulu chirped, nodding before slumping a little into the ground.
“Yeah, good luck with that while you’re in Y/N’s care,” he stated, getting and turning to look at the judgmental zoom Javier’s camera threw on him. “What. You want her to keep another alien as a pet?”
“Guys, I found a restaurant,” your voice called out of the frame, making Loki look in your direction, “OH MY GOD YOU GUYS! THERE ARE REAL LIFE SAILOR SOLDIERS IN HERE!!”
Loki looked at the camera, ageing a thousand years more. “Please tell me it’s not one of those mangas she keeps talking about.”
When Javier spelt it out for him from behind the camera, Loki’s eyes closed and he let out the heaviest sigh he possibly could
Loki: *with a very serious face* the prospect of me having died before being teleported here does not seem so bad. It looks fantastic now. *camera zooms in on his face while you scream in delight in the background, “I’m sitting with real-life Sailor Soldiers!! Aaaahhhh-”*
 The Lounge
"Where's Stark?"
One camera panned in on Bucky's face as he came out of the dorm with bed hair while the other looked at a mildly surprised Scott drinking orange juice from a crystal wine glass.
"He said he'll come in twenty. He's gone for his weekly therapy session," Scott replied, swirling the juice in his glass with his pinky out while observing Bucky from head to toe. "You should try that sometimes. It's really good."
Bucky sat down on the sofa with a stare filled with judgemental questions in Scott's direction. "Me? Therapy? That stuff's for looneys."
Scott furrowed his brows at Bucky, pause all moments for a second before bringing the glass ever so slowly to his lips. "Okay, Boomer."
"What?"
"What?"
Bucky: I don’t need therapy. *mocks a laugh* Shuri made me better than ever in Wakanda. All I need is exercise, healthy food in my stomach and a good amount of sleep. *nods in satisfaction*
*camera zooms out to reveal Scott sitting next to him, shaking his head lightly in mild disbelief*
Scott: *softly* Now I know where that attitude in this present world comes from.
Bucky: *turns to look at Scott* *shifts uncomfortably in his seat while shifting his gaze between the camera and Scott*
*silence erodes the room before Bucky finally breaks*
Why are you looking at me like that? I haven’t killed anyone recently.
Scott: *furrows brows in confusion* what?
Bucky: *stops mid-way and looks away from Scott towards the camera* Nothing
Scott: I never said about killing anyone. *pitch grows higher with every word* Bucky, I never said about killing anyone. Bucky, did you kill someone?
Bucky: *shakes his head with disinterest* mm-mm.
Scott: *mouth opens wide in disbelief* *hands go into his hair on his head* OH MY GOD YOU KILLED SOMEONE!!!
Bucky: NO! I DID N-
Fifteen Minutes Later
Bucky: *softly* So I’ve decided after...a lot of thinking that I should go talk to a...a therapist.
Scott: *nods and smiles at the camera like an encouraging wife*
Bucky: *gives a forceful smile*
Scott: And I too will be going to see a therapist.
Bucky: *nods* *presses lips*
Bucky and Scott: *look at the door, forcing the camera to turn and land on a somewhat irritated Natasha glaring at them from outside the door with arms crossed across her chest*
 Back In The Lounge
Wanda walked into the living room space where Bruce was working on some calculations on his laptop while another camera discreetly caught Bucky and Scott giving each other the stink eye.
"You should take a break, Bruce," Wanda stressed while placing a mug of hot tea on his table. Bruce half-looked at the mug before turning back to it, pulling it close and smelling it. "Since when do we drink so much tea?"
Wanda shrugged. "Since Loki and Y/N came into our lives?" She was unsure but that's what all things pointed at. Bruce went with it too.
He rubbed his eyes and shut his laptop. "Yeah, I guess we can take a break." He yawns and gets up. "Loki seems to have everything under control anyway, so…"
Wanda seemed to wince very quietly, her expressions showing no surety in Bruce’s words; or a reflection of an upset stomach.
“I mean, Y/N is being a levelheaded person too. It’s not all Loki.”
A scoff came from the other side of the room where Bucky stood, all eyes and camera turning to stare at him, his crumbling confident posture trying to display reason. “I mean...she hasn’t been to space before. She does not know what’s out there as well as Loki.”
“So, what you are trying to say is she won’t be able to survive if it wasn’t for Loki?” Scott stretched his words to make sure Bucky heard every single one of them.
“Of course she wouldn’t survive out there. She is a kid.” A very sweaty Clint walked into the lounge and went straight for the orange juice inside the fridge. The camera caught the muted gasps coming out of Wanda and Scott for the men in the room not having much faith in your survival skills.
“So are you,” a very sweaty Natasha acknowledged Clint’s words as she grabbed the juice bottle from Clint’s hand, “but you survived the Infinity War without your family. Oh, wait. You didn’t really survive. You just turned into a whiny little bitch and started killing the first thing you saw.”
Wanda looked at the camera with her eyes wide and her lips pressed tightly to stop her from screaming at the burn. Bruce, on the other hand, whispered ‘oh shit’ and tried to disappear in his mug. Scott sipped his juice like the best tea he had been served in a long time, all the while smirking like a content goofball.
“That was so below the belt, Nat,” Clint protested, his hands resting on his hips as he watched her gulp down half the bottle of juice before handing Clint the rest and smacking her lips in satisfaction. “Y/N is in outer space with a frost giant. And so is Javier. But I don’t hear any of you mention him in this conversation when it comes to surviving on one's own?”
“Javier is a-”
Bruce paused before finishing his sentence as he realised the error of his words right before they came out. “Nice guy?” He finally breathed out, his lungs not being able to take the torture. “He is also in danger, of course. That is a given. I was in danger too when I was stuck in space. Thor can vouch for me.”
Thor: *standing on a cliff while the Asgardians celebrate in the background around a fire* *yells over the sound of waves crashing in on the rocks below* BRUCE WAS SO MUCH FUN ON SAKAAR! WE HAD DRINKS AND DANCES AND SO MANY GIRLS OGLING AT HIM! OF COURSE, THAT WAS WHEN HE WAS THE HULK. WHEN HE WAS BACK TO BEING A BORING OLD SCIENTIST ALL HE SPOKE WAS OF HIS PHDS AND HIS HOW MUCH THIS ONE GUY HERE WAS ALL OVER HIM! I THINK HE LIKED IT. HIM! HE LIKED HIM. IF THIS IDIOT WASN’T STUCK ON BORING OLD NAT THEN I WAS BETTING ON THEM DOIN’ IT. YEAH!!! *pauses and smiles his widest smile* *blinks into an invisible void in the distance* PLEASE DON’T TELL NATASHA  I CALLED HER BORING. OR-OR OLD.
Bruce gulped where he sat. “Maybe he can’t vouch for me. He was too trippy throughout his trip to space anyways. Maybe the lack of oxygen did it to him.”
The silence grew uncomfortable by the second as he exchanged a look with a camera while Clint just shook his head and let out a defeated “dude”.
 Space Place
“Hey, where’s Loki?” you asked Javier while Lulu climbed up the bar stool in the small inn right by the farmer’s market that you had just passed. “Right behind you?” you looked past Javier before walking towards the way he had come- “but he’s not he-”
Your words were cut short by something you saw from the window, forcing the camera to shift on seeing the concern cloud your face towards the scene outside the window. Outside, four buffed up aliens stood surrounding Loki while he raised his hands a little like a white flag.
Instinct took over and you stepped out of the inn but stopped on the porch as Loki yelled, “No! Do not come any closer!” without making eye contact.
One of the buff guys did step closer, his face breathing down right into Loki’s. And Loki? He chuckled at the alien. “One more inch and I think we’ll be kissing, Kronk.”
Kronk the big boulder looking guy hissed at him. “You stepped on the wrong planet, Silvertongue. Hudon wants your head or your body. And he will make sure you pay up your dues.”
Loki tried to increase the distance between him and Kronk, moving back a little; enough to stop smelling his breath on him. “Wow. Looks like someone had a lot of raw Siluji fish today. Hehe. And I thought Hudon was on Myscul. Anyways. How about I talk to Hudon and offer him something that he cannot refuse. And both of us can get back to our respective business.” No matter how much he smiled, Loki did not seem to be getting through that guy.
“Hudon does not want to talk to you. He knows how you work, trickster. He will cut his ears off before he listens to you.”
Loki wanted to contradict the guy but shut his lips to be on the better side of this guy. “Okay. Fine. I will meet him in two hours then? I’ll even bring some good sushi for you.” Loki started to walk away from them when one of Kronk’s men caught hold of him and slapped black handcuffs onto his wrists. 
“You are coming with us, traitor.”
The camera recorded Loki being dragged away in broad daylight while no one even batted an eye at the incident. You walked to the end of the porch- the end close enough to watch Loki being taken away as his brows reflected concern in your direction before disappearing behind the nearest stall of berries.
“Javi,” you uttered softly, your eyes still looking for Loki, “I think Loki’s in trouble. Oh, God. I think we are in trouble.”
 The Foreigner’s Inn
The camera settled on the window sill and a pair of hands moved away to reveal Javier sitting back in the seat of the corner table far away from the bustle of the inn. You sat opposite him, nervously biting your nails and moving your leg under the table while Lulu sat right in the middle, facing the camera, drinking some green concoction you bought him with a few talons from the ones Loki handed you once you had landed on this planet. Javier’s blue eyes scrutinised the place before coming back to you. He tapped your hand for attention before signing something.
“Yeah,” you acknowledged with a nod, “a plan. We need to come up with a plan to save Loki. But we don’t know where they took him. Oh, shi-should we have followed them? Ah fuck! Now, we won’t know where they went. Maybe we should ask someone. But we don’t know what kind of guy Hudon is. What if he’s got eyes everywhere? Then if we ask someone about him, we’ll be the ones walking right into the lion’s den. And we’ll be the ones who will need saving. Okay okay okay okay okay okay. Right right right right right right.”
Javier knocked the table to get your spiralling conscience back to him, directing you to stop, breathe in and breathe out. And you did, pausing for a moment before things got worse in your head. “Right. We need to think this with a clear head. Um...what would Mr Stark tell us to do.”
With your back straight you looked right at Javier. “He would say stop, take a breather. Make sure that you are safe first. It’s fine to worry about Loki but he is a great strategist. He will definitely find a way out of trouble. But that does not mean we do not go look for him. No one gets left behind. Not even that ugly gourd. Help is always around. All you need to do is ask. And never forget that I love you no matter what. Now go save that son of a bitch.”
Javier stared blankly for a second before breaking into silent applause. “So, we need to find something or someone that can give information about that guy holding Loki. Where can we get someone who would know that and help us, complete strangers?”
Lulu, who, all this time had been swinging his bushy bottom from the chair, suddenly stopped, put the drink from his hand on the table and pressed his belly with a click.
[Hippie Sabotage’s Righteous starts playing]
Lulu got down from his chair and moved towards the door of the inn. You called after him but he did not stop and so you and Javier followed with the camera.
Lulu’s camera took in the boots stepping into the inn first. Then the ripped pants, going up to the open shirt revealing perfect abs. Then came those familiar faces carrying their smouldering looks with them still.
Javi’s camera recorded your expression of surprise followed by a hint of something schemy going on in those eyes. A smile was all that you gave them though. “Never thought I would see you guys again.”
The camera swerved to the rainbow k-pop donning shades that were being taken off as slowly as possible. White turned to look at you, the smoulder still holding strong on his face. “And leave you to fend for yourself, princess. Not on my watch.”
You: Yeah *mildly disgusted* I forgot how clingy he is.
“I need your help.”
Sky jumped where he stood and clapped his hand before slipping behind Mauve and blushing.
“Loki’s in trouble. I need to help him es-”
“Say no more,” White whispered while bringing his pale finger on your lips, which you smacked away. “But before we go on the adventure together, my beautiful princess, I urge you to imagine going on another adventure. Just you. And me. And planets with no one but us.”
“And me,” came a faint whisper from behind Mauve.
“Oh, my G-is there anyone of you who is a normal one?”
“I don’t know about normal,” Green came forward and tucked at the edges of his shirt, “but I can take him away from you and help you save your…”
You waited for him to finish his sentence.
“Boyfriend?” he sounded as unsure as the uneasy lines on his face. Before you could say anything to contradict him, White gasped and Sky whimpered. “Boyfriend! He is your boyfriend?! Oh my stars,” White cried, “what are the odds that fate made us meet when you were already someone else’s.”
You stood there, blinking, questioning whether it would be a good decision to tell him the truth. “So, because I have a boyfriend, you will stop pursuing me?”
Sky sniffled, White sighed in defeat and Orange clicked his tongue at the lost opportunity. “I am a creature of code. I would never even think pretty thoughts about someone else’s queen,” he assured with a weak vibration in his voice.
“Cool,” you exclaimed, “Loki is my boyfriend! And I am Y/N, hi. And you are…”
“Call us whatever you like,” Green replied with a smile. “We don’t have names. Just voice notes as a way of identification. Now, let’s get to work.”
“Oh my God,” Mauve groaned audibly and rolled his eyes under those shades, “finally. She definitely needs that work.”
You and the cameras looked at you, wondering what was so wrong to have blunt judgement thrown at you out of nowhere. “Why would I need work?”
Green gestured to you to move up the stairs of the inn with them. “You mentioned Loki being captured by the alien named Hudon.”
“Never mentioned that.”
“He is a classic brute,” Green continued, like he never heard you, as you walked next to him while Lulu got himself lifted into your arms, “who owns all the brothels of this base. He trades in creatures who can exploit their own bodies for what he pays them. The fact that Loki was taken away by his men points at the possibility of trade between them gone wrong.”
You gasped at the sudden revelation that was dawning upon you. “Wait. So, that could mean he wants payback from Loki. Does he want payback in...in cash or...in kind?”
Green’s eyes reflected sympathy for your situation. “Let’s hope, for you and Loki, that it is cash.”
“But wouldn’t that mean he has to sell his body?!”
Green nodded. Lulu’s camera caught White murmuring to Violet, “do you think that furry thing is their child?”
“We have something that might help you. And for that-” he stopped in front of a door of one room at the far end of the corridor, twisting the knob and clicking it open for you to enter- “we would need your help.”
“Okay,” you nodded before confusion took over your face and Lulu purred while rubbing against your shoulder, “what kind of help.”
Mauve sighed loudly, pushing you away- gently- to enter the room first. “We would need your help to do something about the drab that you humans call fashion on your planet,” he nearly puked while looking at your clothes.
“Hey! This shirt is really comfortable. So are these leggings and boots!”
Mauve screwed his face at you. “Oh, they better be! Because that hue-combination is a disaster,” he stressed.
You felt your head go back a little. "Just because I don't have much interest in fashion, I'm gonna let that pass. But I am pretty sure the Queer Eye won't stand for that insult."
"The Queer Eye would've made you into a walking weapon had they been in your vicinity darling," Mauve mentioned matter-of-factly and walked towards the lone dresser and dragged out the chair before tapping it. "Now sit your ass down and let me show you how it's done while Mr Green fills you in about everything."
You looked at Green. He nodded jovially. White on the other hand went and plopped on the bed. Violet went and splayed himself on the sofa, Red went for the window sill to go and brood there. Sky took the foot of the bed and made himself comfortable to look at you for the next two hours. Orange took off his shirt and trousers and went into the bathroom.
"Hey, Lulu," White called out from the bed, "put on a sexy getting-ready song."
Lulu got up on the dresser and pressed his stomach to play Rachel Bloom’s Sexy Getting Ready Song.
“Wait. Hold on,” you called out, making Mauve and Green stop in their tracks and Lulu pausing the song, “I...I gotta poop. Please get that orange pervert out of there?”
 Hudon’s Whorehouse
A hush, beginning from the entrance, fell as the eyes followed the figure. A sweet yet strong melody seemed to follow that black-clad creature, stirring both fear and excitement in the witnesses; who completely missed the two companions walking on its either side.
Never feel too good in crowds With folks around when they're playing
The clack of those pointed heels seemed to be a pound at the doors of the devil himself and every minion that walked in the path she walked, only stopping in the room fit for a queen; nothing less. A seat was taken on the gold-framed sofa, legs spread in comfort and defiance of the one in charge, arms rested on the armrest while popping a grape in the mouth with lips painted red as the blood that flowed in her veins.
A creature with the body of a human- except for the extra pair of hands- and the head of a furry with antlers entered the hall, sitting opposite you. “Welcome to the house of Hudon!” he greeted, the gold on his antlers jingling like bells on Rudolph, “the finest whorehouse you would find in this system.”
“I will evaluate the ‘fine’ myself, Hudon,” you stated quite indifferently, your attention taken by a golden strawberry resting in your fingers, “how old is this rotten blasphemy.”
The anthems of rape, culture loud Crude and proud creatures baying
It was easy to get that accent on your tongue. The tone was smooth enough to show not much effort was being put to talk while the words were spoken like a dagger stabbing the listener with every breath.”
Hudon directed his men to take those old fruits away and to replace them with new ones. But you had already lost interest in them. Sitting straight up, you let your arms go back on the headrest, your suit jacket revealing the skin underneath, the acne on your chest from the sweat and dust revealing itself in full glory. Hudon nearly feels himself blackout with the sheer audacity of a human woman walk into his house and sit there as a client while making him- the one who runs the sex business- make him feel things that were quite transparent in his gaze.
All I've ever done is hide From our times when you're near me
“Here I am, out on a vacation from my boring home, looking for some fun and adventure when someone suggests to me your name and business,” you mutter loud enough for him to hear. “Hudon the hoarder. The one who has everything you can ask for. Anything out of your fantasy. You name it, he has it for you.”
“I do,” he agreed with a smile, interrupted just as he is about to start listing his merchandise.
“Oh, but I don’t think you do, Hudon.” You leaned forward, your legs still spread apart in those black trousers, your frame bent enough to reveal more and still reveal nothing at all, making Hudon’s eyes linger there far longer than he expected them to. “I don’t think you do. What could you possibly have that could seem human enough for my taste and yet not human at all, Hudon? What could you possibly have that could meet my demands, unlike the men on my planet? One who is not meant to be ruled and yet-” your voice turned to a whisper, and Hudon’s eyes were stuck on the hypnotising moment of your lips under that netted veil covering your smokey eyes- “he bends under my commands like a good dog because he knows he will get a treat if he behaves.”
Hudon gulped and blinked.
Honey, when you kill the lights and kiss my eyes I feel like a person for a moment of my life
“I am not here to have some cheap fun, Hudon. Nor some sloppy seconds. I want a challenge that I can smother between my thighs, making him question how he ended up there, under me. And then make him question how he can get under me, again.”
A silence proceeded your laced words. A long lingering silence which would have stretched even more had one of Hudon’s men not brought that shook fur-face back to the present.
“I I I I I think I have the perfect specimen for you, miss…”
“Lady. Lady...Morticia Addams,” you declared, blinking at Javier’s camera.
You: *cringing* I did not think this part through. But I did come up with a nice personality? *does a weak thumbs up*
“I will send for him immediately, Lady Morticia,” Hudon declared, getting and taking a bow, “and if he is not able to satisfy you, I will humbly present myself to you as a sacrifice.”
You: *deadpan* Pervert.
“If your specimen does not satisfy me, then mark my words, Hudon, you won’t find any piece of him in your excuse of a brothel.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he replied with a weak voice, walking out and scolding his guards to get him ‘Silvertongue’.
You noticed the two guards still in the hall by the door, looking at you and your companions. Javier moved from his place by the fireplace to the door, to let the tiny camera- courtesy of the rainbow k-pop- strapped to his chest take in the patient steps of the man of the hour; at the same time, directing with his hands to Lulu to resume his score.
But you don't know what hell you put me through To have someone kiss the skin that crawls from you
Loki, bare-chested and in chains, was walked towards your hall with four guards- two on front and two on back. This was the first time any of the cameras had seen so much of his bare skin. Neither had they seen so many muscles on that body that seemed so lean on the outside with the clothes on. The raven hairs snaked around his shoulders while his eyes were set at the goal in front of him: you. And if you did not know any better you would have thought those peach curtains were flying right and left to get a one-touch, one whiff of that God.
To feel your weight in arms I'd never use It's the god that heroin prays to
You almost choked on the juice you were offered on seeing Loki like that- in just his pants. Like a healthy supermodel straight out of a pin-up hidden in your childhood drawer. Quickly recovering and changing into the persona created for this place you leaned back on the sofa to admire the view when all five men came to a halt in front of you.
It feels good, girl, it feels good It feels good, girl, it feels good
“Hm,” you muttered, your eyes going up and down an apparently tight-jawed Loki, “decent. Where did you catch this fish?”
“Caught him fresh in the market today,” Hudon’s henchman answered, surprisingly in an Australian accent, “owed our master for quite some time. Will finally pay his debts now.”
It feels good, girl, it feels good Oh, to be alone with you
The laugh that came out of the prude was murky. You got up and nonchalantly waved your hand to make the guards stand away from the merch, letting you get a good three-sixty view. Loki could feel your eyes on him even when you stood behind him, carefully studying these marks on an otherwise flawless skin that ran all over his back and some did on arms, right down his wrist.
A wave of emotion washed over you on seeing them, which you hastily veiled for the sharp eyes lurking in the background. Clearing your throat, you took out your silver hair stick from the bun at the back and walked to face the frost giant.
There are questions I can't ask Now, at last, the worst is over
“Sit,”  you commanded.
Loki’s eyes grew dark. The camera recorded the silent change of roles for a quick moment before Loki finally obeyed, getting down on his knees.
See the way you hold yourself Reel against your body's borders
You took a step to his side before looking at the guards still standing there. “What. You want in on the show as well?” Your raised-up brow was judging them hard at this moment.
The guards stood there looking at each other before one of them finally spilt. “We are not allowed to leave him alone with you till you sign the contract and make the payment.”
“Hm. Well, if that is the case-” you took another step to stand right behind Loki- “I will inspect this...merchandise before I make the payment.”
I know that you hate this place Not a trace of me would argue
The hair stick in your hand made its first contact with the bare skin on Loki’s back, promptly making his muscles move underneath that pale skin. A smile found its way to your lips. “Sensitive to touch, I see. I prefer virgin skin.” You dragged stick all the way from one end of those shoulder scales in the back to the other, taking light steps to move towards the front.
The camera zoomed in on the shadow of something brewing inside Loki’s eyes while his lips stretched ever so slightly with a thought only he knew. The stick came to the collar bone, travelling up his neck to land right below his chin, lifting it up to watch your tongue in between your teeth, peeking out for a look.
Honey, we should run away, oh, someday Our baby and her momma And the damaged love she made
“Say, boy,” you asked softly, letting the stick dig into that chin to raise it up further, “what does that mouth do.”
A chuckle rose in Loki’s chest and burst out to close his eyes before they could look at you in a new light. “They do things you wouldn’t want to know.”
But I don't know what else that I would do Than try to kiss the skin that crawls from you
Questioning- or pretending to question- his audacity you responded with a sly ‘uh-huh’ before getting down on one knee, letting both your arms rest on the other. “Well, it better-” your voice grew duskier by the minute while that thin stick landed on his lips, circling them- “do things unspeakable. Otherwise-” you gently pushed the stick in his mouth, and he took it in, wrapping his tongue around it- “what is the point of that pretty pretty mouth.”
Then feel your weight in arms I'd never use It's the god that heroin prays to
Javier could not help but record the drooling and uncomfortable faces of the guards standing by the door, half of them looking at each other, other half stuck on the hypnotic movements happening between the two of you; all of them standing with their hands hiding their bulges in those leather pants.
It feels good, girl, it feels good
“That tongue better work like it is the only thing that can save your life, pretty boy.” The low pitch of your voice was drowning the whole room. Your other knee too went down, allowing them to touch his as you sat down, your back arched and your chest moving closer to his. “It better work fast because I don’t like being made to wait. But it better not rush and ruin it for me either.”
It feels good, girl, it feels good
The stick was still in his mouth with Loki’s lips sucking it good when he looked up at you and gave you a judgmental glare. With a gentle tug to the stick from his mouth, you took it away, down the trail it came from, down the chest, the perfect line between his abs and then somewhere further down where the guards could not see; but that did not mean they could not imagine.
It feels good, girl, it feels good
“Now, let’s see how good your hands work,” you ordered more than questioned, turning to Javier and nodding.
Javier nodded back and Lulu’s camera recorded him walking to the door to close and bolt it. The guards could not suppress their smiles, delighted at the thoughts of what was about to go down.
“You,” you pointed at Hudon’s henchman, gesturing to him to come close, “I want you to help me with these.”
It feels good, girl, it feels good
More than eager to ‘help’ you, he skipped to where you now stood and Loki was still on his knees. “Yes. W-what can I help you with, my lady?”
Oh, to be alone with you
Your hands went down your shirt, into your bra and out came four silver balls the size of peas. “Are you done?”
It feels good, girl, it feels good
The henchman did not understand the question. Then came a click from below and Loki’s voice yelled, “NOW!”
It feels good, girl, it feels good
Oh, to be alone with you
A lot of things happened at the same time. Loki stabbed the man right in his calves while you threw those peas on the air; at the same time you and Javier ducked down to let those peas be attracted to the nearest form of flesh in their linear way, sticking to them to shock the living lights till they could see more galaxies in their vision. 
The henchman yelled in pain, down on his knee, which Loki took advantage of and stabbed him in his shoulder before wrapping his arm around his windpipe long enough to make him lose consciousness. 
You grabbed the other pin from your hair and with its pointy end pointed at the men still struggling with the aftermath of the shock, you stood in defence. “Everyone okay?”
The guards groaned. “I meant everyone I care about okay?”
Javier nodded and Lulu chirped, jumping onto your shoulder. You turned to Loki. “You okay?”
Loki nodded, grabbing the henchman’s gun and tucking it in his pants. “Oh, here.” Loki looked at you unbuttoning your suit jacket. “Woah, what are you-” and stopped when he saw a vest peeking from underneath as the shirt was thrown in his direction. “I am almost jealous of the endless choices of these for women here. Does it fit you?”
“It’s quite loose,” Loki absentmindedly responded while buttoning up, not comprehending that disappointed stare till it was too late. “I meant...it’s...how did you even get all of this stuff?”
“Ah, changing the topic, typical,” you muttered while dragging the guards behind the sofa, “I have friends besides you.”
The suspicion in Loki’s eyes suddenly changed to shock. “What are you doing with them?! I told you to stay away from those...those...Hardy-pop spawns; whatever you called them.”
“A, you never said that. B, I had to do something to help you out. C, get us out of here!”
Loki looked at you, about to speak something when he stopped, the camera panning in to watch the surprise colour his face. “You didn’t plan an escape.”
“Oh, no. I was thinking I should get into the prostitution business myself considering what a fine human specimen I am.”
Loki rolled his eyes and smacked the recuperating guard back into the ground before gesturing Javier to follow him out the door.
“I was also thinking how great it would be to settle down here because all I ever wanted was to live in an alien whorehouse. I mean, Silvertongue what? God of Mischief, who?”
“Fine! We get it,” Loki called out, leading you all straight down the corridor, “though you would have fit perfectly here.”
“Excuse me!”
“Oh I saw that look in your eyes!” Loki spat, “you played the character like it’s in your blood.” Loki pondered walking straight, “Well, Stark’s involved. So wanting to control naturally comes in your blood. But playing a full-blown Dominatrix?” Loki chuckled. “You feisty little witch.”
You pouted at his comment. “A Dominatrix! Coming from the one who used his tongue like a fucking lock pick machine to shape that metal thing into the exact pattern that could open your cuffs,” you uttered under your breath while trying to keep up with him till you ran smack into his back.
The door to the exit was closed as guards surrounded the reception from all four sides, cornering the four of you in the middle.
Lulu wrapped his fluffy arms around your neck, holding tight while his camera took in Hudon’s figure entering right where you had walked through. “I cannot believe I was played by a human,” he hissed.
“Wasn’t that hard, really. It’s like I opened my legs and boom! You were open for business,” you shrugged while Loki smacked your arm to shut you up.
“Guards!” Hudon shouted, “cuff them and throw them in the dungeons!”
Before the guards could take a step towards you all, you found yourself screaming, “wait!”
“I almost forgot,” you added, patting your vest and then your pants to find a little black box, “I was told to give this to you with the message ‘your ex says hi’.”
Hudon looked at the box placed in his hand. Javier’s camera captured you putting your fingers over Loki’s hand and dragging your index down towards the ground. Loki gave you a silent look before tangling his fingers in yours, moving Javier right behind him.
“Lulu,” you whispered discreetly, “you know what comes next right?”
Lulu purred a little before shifting to your back, his arms still secure around your neck. All eyes watched as a tweet rose from the box, increasing in pitch. And just like that it dropped in silence, the code for you four to duck down.
Loki was already shielding you with his body, his arm wrapped around you when the flash came and with it a crash. Hudon was enclosed in what looked like lit up ropes sparkling with electricity while the Hardy boys entered from the roof on ropes as smoothly as always.
“Your ex also said ‘time to die motherfucker’,” Mauve declared before electrocuting the furry.
“Seven years, Mauve,” Violet stressed with a shaking head, “it’s been seven years. Let it go.”
 Night Time at the Inn
Javier’s camera rested on the platform outside in the balcony that sat atop the inn to the view of the city. Javier himself was busy with the little yet powerful cameras in the shape of silver flies Violet was showing from his own collection. Lulu ran about chasing fireflies that glowed in multiple colours around him. A few even came and sat down on his fur, making him pause anything and everything he was doing so as not to scare them.
You walked in from the other room, showered and shampooed, in your old clothes cleaned and dried, throwing a quick glance at the surroundings before going straight for the figure sitting outside on the cemented boundary of the balcony looking down at the soft bustle and glow of this little city.
The platform was wide enough for two people but you still stood leaning on the door and knocked on the glass first. “Mind if I join you?”
Loki scooched over to the other side to make room for you. You got up and slid your butt and legs up, a lungful of the foreign air bringing with it the smell of all that was cooking in the streets. “Hmm, smells heavenly,” you hummed, letting your headrest on the brick wall behind.
When your senses had absorbed all there was to the night, you finally found the courage to speak.
[Lulu, still as a cat, clicks his belly to play Sweater Weather (feat. Fruitypoppin x Koven Wei]
“How are you doing?”
Loki’s head turned to look at you, his fingers still moving around the bracelets that did not let him use his full potential.
You shifted where you sat, scratching some itch in your head. “I mean, you okay? Like being forced into sex trafficking can leave a deeply rooted trauma if not addressed in time.”
Loki smiled and looked down at the bracelet. “I appreciate your concern. But I am fine. I have had worse”
Your lips parted in a gasp that was controlled in time. “...okay. Okay.”
His green eyes reflected the lights in a mellow hue under the brilliant duvet of stars above you. His stare had a pinch of something soft as he continued to look at you. “I also appreciate-” he shifted his glance to his arms right when you turned to look at him, adjusting the hem of the sleeve of his black t-shirt- “you not asking me about the scars.”
There was a shift of emotion visible in your eyes. A smile forced upon your lips that those y/e/c pupils betrayed. The unconscious movement of your fingers over your own arm, the repeated motion of them over the same place as if trying to soothe some underlying ache; none of it went unnoticed by those sharp smaragdines. Neither did the cage you tried to make around your waist, wrapping your arms around it, trying to block some invisible evil. “No problem-” you blinked and one of those flies recording you two zoomed in enough to see moisture gathering on the edges of your eyelids- “just know that whenever you are ready to talk, I will be there for you.”
Your smile widened, using your usual trick of letting your eyes close to hide that moisture, even adding in a chuckle here and there.
Loki had to take in a whole lot of air to bring the words out of him. “And I will be there when you need to talk about it too.”
The smile was gone. Knees were drawn closer to your chest. “Yeah, that might take ages,” you muttered as you rested your head on your knees.
“Good thing that I’m immortal then?” And the chuckle came back, bringing the stress in Loki’s shoulders down a little.
“What did you do to Hudon anyway? Why was he so pissed at you to force you to be one of his prostitutes?”
Loki groaned and let his head fall back. “I let all of his unwilling workers escape.”
You raised your brows in praise.
“While tricking him into thinking I was in love with him.”
And your jaw drops. “WHAT?!” you nearly screeched while Loki tried to shush you. “You...what?! Why??”
“Well, he comes from an orthodox planet that did not stand for the choices in the life partners he wanted. Which is why he ran away and opened brothels with no restrictions. I took...advantage of that knowledge to use him and run. From...my torturers.”
Loki’s eyes went to his arms. So did yours. “And in doing so I broke the heart of a man who was into bad trades. So I am the lesser evil here, for your information,” he recovered. 
“Yeah, freeing sex slaves and breaking a stone-cold bitch’s heart isn’t as much as evil as it is a ‘making the world a better place’, dude.” You acknowledged. “And I hope your torturers are dead otherwise they’re gonna catch these hands.”
A chortle left Loki, scaring the Lulu and making all the flies fly away from what had looked like a fluffy Christmas tree. “What, I’m serious.” A punch landed in his gut to show just how serious you were.
“Right. How do you think you will defeat them? Using black latex clothing, handcuffs, a whip and anal beads?”
You looked at the flying cam with a twist in your jaw while Loki laughed in the background.
You: I am too pissed right now to even question how he knows about anal beads.
“Haa haa. You laugh at the idea while I will actually be making them beg for mercy in leather bonds and chains,” you announced, angry at the God for losing it at the thought of you in that role again. “And I’ll definitely be doing a better job of a Dominatrix than you ever did.”
“You take that back.”
Lulu went around chasing the fireflies again while the two of you teased each other under the starry night far away from home, for the very first time not worrying about your way back, the music adding to the soothing colours brewing in the night.
 In the Darkness of The Lounge
All the ladies were lined up on the sofa, binging on drinks and popcorn in the dark, eyes stuck on the big screen when a sniffle was heard from behind them. All of them turned to watch a very worried Steve and Clint looking at Bucky and Scott sit next to them. Their faces glistened in whatever light came from the screen, the streaks of tears and swollen eyes visible even in the dark. Not to mention the blocked noses.
“Are you guys okay?” Wanda asked softly, never giving up what she saw in their minds.
Both of them nodded.
“Are you crying for Loki right now?” Clint asked with a hint of disgust in his voice, earning a smack from Natasha.
“No,” Bucky grunted from the midst of his tear wave while Scott shook his head in agreement. “I’m crying because this stupid bowl in my hand does not have any more popcorn.”
“Yeah,” Scott bawled, “I am mad at this stupid bowl too. Come, let’s get some more popcorn.”
“Yeah,” Bucky agreed in his hoarse voice, still crying as they got up and went away, past the kitchen and into the elevator while the rest watched them silently till the doors closed. 
“They forgot their popcorn bowl,” MJ pointed out. Clint looked at her in confusion. “Who are you?”
“None of your concern,” she replied, making Clint feel a little jolt of ‘the audacity of this kid’.
“Should weeee,” Pepper stretched the words in her whisper, unsure of how they would be seen, “watch the part with Loki and the Dominatrix again?”
“Oh hell yeah,” Natasha whispered back, happy to have recorded the live broadcast. Wanda adjusted herself and MJ passed the soda cans across the row.
Clint watched the ladies in shock while Steve sat there in hollow surprise, waiting for the screen to go back to the scene as heartfelt wails of two people could be heard from the garden outside with the words ‘so soft’ and ‘my heart ow my heart’.
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